#i just have so many thoughts about this stupid show
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Sorry for the delay! Work been ass. Soooo half-assed king huh? Yeesh... Ig some of us were expecting a cool title from that dude I'm not even mad lmao. Surely there's a reason behind it and I still love him. Look how semi pathetic he looked? I want more of that. He's so sexy. SO. Without further ado smut Jaegyeon bc he and y'all deserves it 😏😏
It was just a small tease, you know? You accidentally forgot about what humans called 'boundaries'. It's crazy when you think about it. Jaegyeon Na has always been a dramatic little shit with a big dick energy. Except the big dick part was also literal believe it or not.
He's a handsome dude, no doubt. He's jacked. Pathetic too if your squint hard enough. Everyone is a pathetic once in a while. Even you.
Have you seen yourself? Like, right now?
"Gghk! Fuck!" He groaned harshly next to your ears. His hard cock hitting places you never knew existed before. If you never been so bruised and beaten all your damn life, you do now. You could've done something. Tell him to stop, said the safe word but who are you to be a buzzkill? Only to waste the opportunity to see him turn into such beast?
There's not a simple skin or body parts he hasn't touch. Who the fuck are you to tell him no? You're tripping.
You lost count on how many times you have cum. Oh wait. Right. I mean how many times you have cum in each rounds. He surely is relentless. You were crying, sobbing your ass out. Who the fuck is he to stop when you just feel so fucking good around his dick?
But let's do a little recap while we're at it. Speaking of boundaries, it's your fault anyway. The so-called half-assed king showing you that he may be a half-assed but not in bed.
There is no position he hadn't fuck you yet. Any surface he can get to, it's the night you received it. The bed, the wall, vanity, the floor, the window, bathroom sink etc.
His hips slapping against yours with a sloppy rhythm as he hold a fistful of your hair against the wall. He was quick to change his angle, unsatisfied. He never satisfied. When he thought he hit your sweet spot, he had to find another. You can't fool him, he knows there's more.
You let out a desperate moan. He mimicked you out of spite. "Fuck, you're so fucking annoying." He fastened his pace as a payback, making you whined loudly. "Shut up!!" He scowled louder, pushing your head deeper against his wall.
He let out a groan of his own, breathing harshly through his teeth as he fuck you stupid. The sight is sexy. Using one hand to hold you while the other dangle on his side. He's just giving you a break. That is the very least you can get from him. He doesn't stop his pace at all though.
When he's tired of standing, he just shoved you into his king sized mattress and locked you between his jacked bicep, practically choking you while he fucks you from behind until you back ached again.
You love it though. Your iris basically shaped into hearts. You didn't have your tongue sticking out like a whore though. He's just too relentless because you're holding the pain between your teeth. Too brutal. It's fucking painful you actually forgot the meaning of pain anymore.
You're just too loud tonight so he clasped his calloused hand onto your mouth to shut up you while your lewd mouth turned into desperate, helpless muffles.
"Fuck." He gasped heavily, his tightened his grip. You could barely breath before. Now you look fucking ridiculous. The stamina is just too insane you at the verge of passing out. Combine with your sweats and other dirty fluids, the fucking section just get even smoother and hotter. His cock stretching your easier, with you beginning to limb against him.
"Do not." He warned, immediately letting go of your whole body, towering you and spin you around to face him. "Don't you fucking dare pass out of me." He gritted his teeth, shaking you as he grasped your cheeks between his hand as you faced each other. The pure lust and dominance burning in his eyes, even in such a bitchy state you can see it. He's going feral.
Within a flash, he let your face go and bring your legs under his arms before locking them on both side of your ears.
He thrusts back into you in one go, filling you up with his meat stick once again. Earning another annoying sound coming from your mouth.
He continue to fuck you like there's no tomorrow. He is hellbent to remind you, to remind everyone why he isn't just a fucking half-assed king.
Masterlist
#dood writes!#lookism#lookism x reader#jaegyeon na x reader#jaegyeon na#lookism x you#lookism fics#lookism fic#lookism fanfics#lookism imagines#lookism webtoon#lookism manhwa#manhwa#webtoon#my writing#smut#drabbles#fanfics#imagines#fic#x reader#x you#first generation#lookism jaegyeon na
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ONYX STORM REVIEW:
After 2 days of catching up on all the work I had postponed for the sake of reading OS, and organising my thoughts, I'm here with my spoiler free review of Onyx Storm. Please remember that these are my personal thoughts and opinions and you're free to agree or disagree based on your views
Rating: 3.25 stars
The Good:
The absolute lack of miscommunication between Xaden and Violet: This book is a gift for all those people who were annoyed to their wit's end by the repetitive stupid fights between Xaden and Violet in Iron Flame. They trust each other, communicate with each other and don't get mad about secrets. I was so pleasantly surprised
Ridoc: Ridoc went through such amazing character development, he easily became one of my favourite characters in the story. We saw him as only the comic relief friend till now but man, he shows such badassery in this book while still being his clown self. And, let's not forget his favourite dick jokes!
The Dragons: Anyone who knows me knows my favourite part about the series is Tairn and the other dragons. Love seeing my grumpy dad dragon, he's such a mood. We also have our sassy teenager Andarna to give him grief. I love all the moments Tairn started boasting about his lineage and his feat: he's such a dork!
Dain and Cat: I never truly hated Dain because I knew from Fourth Wing itself he never intentionally wanted to harm Violet. My only gripe with him was about breaking her trust and looking through her memories without her consent. But man, does he redeem himself. Needless to say, Dain is on my "need to protect" list. I really hated Cat in Iron Flame because she was such a stereotypical cringey evil ex and the way she attacked Violet was so crass and below the belt. She still has some shitty moments in the beginning of the book but she gets a lot better so much so that I want good things to happen to her in the next books. RY did a great job writing these two
Jealous Xaden: My o my was it a treat to see Xaden so jealous. RY fed us with those entertaining af moments. Read the book and you'll find out what I mean
Aaric: I was intrigued by Aaric in book 2 but he stepped up the game so much in this book. He is an amazing character and I'll throw hands if RY even tries to harm him in any way, istg.
The Bad:
Very mediocre worldbuilding: This might be just a timing issue, but the last fantasy book I read was the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson, and every fantasy fan knows the kind of world-building Sanderson does. Onyx Storm tries to introduce us to new places beside the continent, but it is not well done. We spend half the book in the Isle Kingdoms, yet they're not even mentioned on the map. They talk about routes to get to the kingdoms, but how am I supposed to follow them if you won't even mention them on the maps? Every Island has a god it worships and things go according to that but I think we could've had a little more information about them beforehand instead of being presented basic info right before we arrive at the next island. "We're going to said island, this is the god they believe in, here's a five point bullet lost of their customs"- NO, THAT'S NOT HOW YOU DO IT! Like I said, it might be because my last book was by Sanderson so my expectations were higher but the world felt so lacking.
Lack of Glossary: A glossary should be a must in every fantasy book, especially if you're branching out and diving deeper into worldbuilding. We are introduced to gods, islands, uprisings and groups of people we haven't even heard of before and we get hardly one or two lines about them in a chapter and then they are mentioned again 2 chapters later and we're supposed to follow. There were so many new names in OS, it was difficult to keep track of them after a while. I still don't completely understand who the Krovlan people were and what was their deal.
Lack of Basgiath: My favourite book in the series till now has been Fourth Wing and one of the biggest reasons for that was Basgiath. I loved that place and the way it felt an actual character in the story. That Basgiath charm is missing in this book. Basgiath is the biggest strength of this series, it's the reason why FW was so successful, the war college and it's deadly atmosphere, the challenges, the interpersonal relations, it was entertaining af. However as the series is progressing, it's turning into another typical romantasy involving young adults leading revolutions, making alliances, fighting wars etc. I started reading Fourth Wing because of it's setting and yet with each new book, we spend less and less time in Basgiath and it's just dampening my mood.
No real surprises: Let me be brutally honest- this book felt like a filler. Of course there are a few shocking moments with new information but it hardly hit the mark like the previous two books. There were no moments that essentially packed a punch. It's just a bunch of random sidequests to gain alliances which didn't up feeling all that meaningful because of worldbuilding problems. It also seemed like fanservice because of a lot of reasons but I won't mention them as they can be accounted as minor spoilers. Some characters died but it didn't feel impactful at all. It seemed more like Ry was just filling up the death quota because we can't have a book where no one dies
Violet and Xaden: Okay so here's the thing, I like both of them as characters and I think they make a good pair. However, I didn't ever truly feel the romance and this has been a problem since Fourth Wing. They have a shit ton of lusty moments but hardly any soft romantic domestic moments that make the relationship feel organic. I have always been disappointed by the lack of proper romantic development between these two. The problem in this book however is the dialogue- they felt so cheesy and downright cringe at times. Maybe show more and say less?? The way they keep saying nothing else matters as much and I know people are feral for how Xaden and Violet are ready to throw off the entire rebellion for each other but it irks me so much. Xaden, you are leading these people and you have accepted that responsibility. Stop endangering the lives of people you swore to protect because Violet might be in danger. She has other people to support her. Violet, don't get mad when people tell you your needs and wants will come second to Xaden's duty towards the people. He is their leader, he has to make those sacrifices, If you think that's unfair then find someone else to fill his position. You can't have the leadership position yet be each other's top priority. It might seem unfair but that is the right thing to do. I really don't feel like the two of them are fit to lead people. Agree with @thequietesthing's review about Violet's god level power feeling over dramatic and out of character at times.
The Ending: If any of you have talked to me about the book in the last few days, you'll know I'm frustrated af with the ending. It doesn't exactly feel like a well done cliffhanger, it's just plain messy. A bunch of unanswered questions to keep the reader confused and hooked for the next book but it just ruined the whole book for me. I have no issues with cliffhangers but the book should feel complete. The way Onyx Storm ended, it feels there were at least two more chapters that got deleted. It's just all over the place.
That was the review guys. I'll still wait for the next book to get published but my excitement has gone down quite a lot. I was expecting more of a Harry Potter style story where the main still occurs in the school/college itself but it seems like that isn't gonna be the case. I honestly believe this series should've been just 3 books instead of 5 but oh well, what can we say. Really agree with @justallihere and @justascrollingghost. We have almost the same complaints with the books lol P.S: The best surprise in this book: Broccoli, the kitten
#rebecca yarros#fourth wing#iron flame#violet sorrengail#xaden riorson#the empyrean#onyx storm#onyx storm review#book review
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🎾 🤍💐✨🎀
standford!art who’s your best friend finds out no guy has ever hit your gspot before :(
“are you being serious?”
but it's so fuckin easy! he thinks
your cheeks get warm. you focus on the various hangnails you have instead of making eye contact.
“um...yeah.” you say quietly.
he immediately regrets having such a big reaction and scolds himself.
those rotten frat guys, they only care about one thing.
“hey, hey,” he touches your cheek and crouches a little so he's no longer towering over you. “i didn’t mean to embarrass you, sweetheart. it’s not your fault. they’re just inattentive."
“thanks.” you mutter with no expression in your voice.
he was too curious not to ask,
“have you ever found it by yourself?”
a laugh involuntary escaped.
“i’ve never tried.”
art fake pouts.
“you poor girl,” he coos, putting it on thick.
you scoff, but the heat in your cheeks only gets worse and you cant help but smile. he’s way too good at breaking your walls down, and he knew it
“i can show you, if you like.”
your body becomes unmoving.
"what?"
the most logical explanation you can think of is that he spoke a different language and it was lost in translation. because surely he wasn't offering what you think he was offering.
“what kind of friend would i be if i didn’t?”
he had that stupid smirk on his face.
“wait, you’re serious?? wha-”
he steps closer to you, close enough you can feel his body heat.
“we’ve always been closer than most friends, no?”
you shake your head.
“i mean, yeah, but that’s-“
his body goes stiff, eyebrows furrowed like that's the worst news you could've given him.
now he's the one shaking his head. his mostly blue eyes become fixed on the ground. he looked like a kicked puppy.
“that was a stupid idea. you're right. m'sorry. i don’t know why i brought it up."
he begins to walk off.
are you actually going to reject this offer from your insanely handsome best friend? half the girls at stanford would kill for this opportunity. and here it is, falling into your lap.
“wait!”
he wipes the smile off his face before turning around.
“yeah, uh… i’d like that.”
he breaks into a smile.
"really? i truly didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
there's still a frown gracing his features.
"you didn't! you didn't. i was just caught off guard. that's all."
"...okay" he smirks slightly.
"okay."
another awkward silence presents itself. what should you-
"come over to my dorm at 8 tonight. that is of course unless you want to do it at yours and risk your roommate catching a free peep show."
his sudden confidence caught you off guard. he's giving you whiplash at this point.
"uh, no. no. yours is great."
who the hell can afford a private dorm as a sophomore?
oh right. tennis champions...
before he goes, he kisses you on the cheek. the first of many that would occur that day. his lips are the perfect proportion for his face and they feel like being touched by a pink cloud.
3 hours later
''FUCK, art, please"
"aww, i know baby. no one can treat you like i can."
its relentless. the entire time. the top half of him babys you while the bottom half tries to leave an imprint.
you didn't know your back could arch this much.
"are you gonna cry from how good it is? poor girl."
and you do. saltwater flows down your cheek and he wipes it off and cradles your head, showing you some mercy.
"you can do it, babygirl. you can give me one more, cant you?"
you nod fervently. it wasn't even about orgasming (of which you've done twice) anymore it was about making him happy.
"yes," you pant "ill come for you, artie, shit hnnn."
once you started babbling you couldn't stop. he thought it was adorable, honestly. he's never made a girl dumb on his cock this quickly. you really needed it.
you're gonna be so fun to play with. he thought.
he pecked your cheek while coaxing you through it.
"atta girl, make my cock all creamy for me. you can do it."
you feel every muscle, no. every atom in your body relaxes. and where your bodies met was so warm and slick and art might slip if he's not careful.
"there you go" he whispered into your neck. "so beautiful. such a good girl, im so proud of you. knew you could do it."
you think he is peppering kisses across your face and chest but you cant will your eyes to open yet and every inch of your skin is tingling.
your semiconsciousness works to his advantage because he loves resting inside you. he could fall asleep just like this but you probably wouldn't like that.
he strokes your hair and stares at you while you recover. he wants to let you fall asleep right away but knows that's not wise.
"c'mon, angel," he says softly as he scoops you up. "lets get you cleaned up."
#if you see me getting manipulated by a 6 ft blonde man with heterochromia#do not intervene i am exactly where i want to be.#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson fic#challengers fanfiction#challengers fanfic#art donaldson fanfic#art donaldson imagine#art donaldson x you#art donaldson#art donaldson fanfiction#art donaldson smut
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we can be pirates
ship: river (all souls) x reader (gender neutral)
summary: river wants to give her daughter the best birthday party possible. noticing that it's personal for her, you help.
word count: 2400+
notes: requested here. split into two parts bc it surprised me how long it was getting. title from taylor swift's 'seven'. TELL ME THE SKULLS DONT GIVE PIRATE VIBES
River sits on the couch you two hauled off the road just last summer, flipping through the pages of a worn-out book on crafts. Beside her sits her mini-me, her daughter Jade who always loves being dressed up just like her mama. Big brown eyes go wide with excitement as the little girl points at one of the pictures.
"Mama, we can make this for my party," she exclaims, her small finger tracing the outline of a paper flower.
River hums, a tight smile on her face. "Yeah, baby. It doesn't look too hard. That'll be great."
Jade giggles and marks down the page number, already a small list of ideas on her pad of paper, her legs swinging.
Despite her smile, River can't help but think of how she wants more for her little girl. How she hates that Jade already knows they have to cut costs like this. Maybe if she pushed down her ego that told her she can do it all alone, without a cent of Silas' dirty money. River shakes her head, willing those thoughts out. She focuses on the pride blooming in her chest that Jade's still so happy and content with homemade efforts. She's raised a smart, kind, and wonderful girl. God, she can't even believe her baby's turning six in a week.
"You wanna help me?" she asks, poking Jade's cheek, who has now moved on to the section about invitation cards.
"Of course!"
This is when you walk in, joining them on the couch. You were busy preparing dinner so you didn't catch the full conversation, but the apartment's small enough where you could catch bits and pieces even without eavesdropping. Before you have a chance to tell them the food's ready, Jade shoves the book in your hands.
"You can pick one! I like this and this and-" Jade's pointing all over the place, choosing invitation cards she likes the look of seemingly by random if you didn't know her well. Luckily, you've had the chance to. Under River's upbringing and her own endless curiosity, Jade loves so many things it's hard to think of one straightforward theme. She loves her monster trucks as much as her stuffed puppy, as much as the manga the older kids in the apartment complex show her, as much as nature and princesses and scary stories.
"Woah, woah, slow your roll, kiddo." You wipe your hands on the apron before putting your hands on the book, knowing you'd get glares if you greased it up. "What's this about a party? I thought you didn't want to do a big one," you question.
"She doesn't. Says she'd be alright if it was just the three of us sharing pizzas and watching TV," River answers, to which Jade nods. "But Jade's in school now, you know? All the other moms already side-eye me for having her so young. I don't wanna give them more ammo, or make them tell their kids not to hang out with Jade anymore."
River has complained to you extensively before about the mom politics going on. Invite someone's kid to a party and they don't invite your kid back? Consider yourself dead to everyone. Couldn't bring muffins to their stupid bake sale? Worst mom ever award.
"I want Jade to have fun with her friends and not worry about being teased about not having a huge unicorn cake, or whatever. So..." River gestures to the book pressed into your hands, and you note all the marked pages of ideas.
You know the deeper reason too. How deep down, River wants better for Jade than what she had, never wants her to feel like she's going without. She wants Jade to feel like the other kids. To be able to stay a kid for longer, not cutting back on the toys she asks for just because you two are going from paycheck to paycheck. That's your responsibility as the adults. She shouldn't have to worry, shouldn't be punished for being born River's kid. It's something you've assured River about over and over again, that Jade's lucky to be hers and that the little girl knows it. But you can understand that wish too. Jade's such a sweetie. If any kid deserves to feel special on their birthday and get everything they ask for, it's her.
So it's no surprise that River isn't sold on the whole DIY party vibe. Resourceful is one thing, but she hates feeling cheap. Hates asking for or needing cash. She'll let go of her pride if the situation gets tough, but damn does she hate when people assume she can't take care of her girl.
"Hey, Jadey?" you ask, scooching down to address her directly. The two of you have agreed to not talk about money problems in front of her, so you know she should be far away for this discussion. "Can you go to the kitchen and turn the stove off? And when you're done, how about you write down all your friends' names that you want there, and draw them all a special invitation?"
Jade perks up at the request, liking to go on 'special missions' to help you or River. She likes the responsibility, likes that her favourite people can rely on her. It's part of what makes her such a good kid. "OK! Here!" As she hops off of the couch, she hands you the book. "They're gonna be the best pictures ever!"
"Don't come back too soon, OK? We're gonna come up with lots of ideas to surprise you!" you call out.
You turn to River, who shoves the book aside, frustrated. "Fuck. I don't wanna be a wimp about this, honestly. Or make it all about me."
"Hey." Your hand goes to her shoulder, rubbing right where she always seems to get tense. "It's fine. It's your first time living too. Or whatever the phrase is."
"It's just- I would've done anything as a kid to have had a birthday party," she shares, shaking her head like she thinks she's being ridiculous. But River does melt into your touch, letting you start to rub up, getting to the junction where her neck meets her shoulder. "This sucks to say, but I was always too ashamed to take any of my friends back home. I'm grateful for it now, but it was tiny and it smelled and I knew it. Didn't want them to give me shit for it."
Listening intently, your fingers trail over her shoulders as River sits up and tugs her knees to her chest. "And I didn't wanna hassle my mom. She was already doing so much to take care of me and put food on the table," River tells you. "My friends invited me to ones with the fancy custom cakes and the goody bags filled with toys and snacks, you know? The parties where the kids get to wear crowns and the parents take a million photos. My mom couldn't afford to take a day off of work, and I didn't have enough allowance to buy a gift anyways. So I never went to any."
And you can understand that. It's not like being a loner is always a choice. Sometimes you know that even if you try your best, you won't fit in, so why try? Pretend it's a choice. Pretend you're above it all, too cool for it, when all you really want to do is have fun with everyone.
"She's turning six. We could turn a sprinkler on and call it a water park and the kids would scream and laugh more than at some expensive party," you say. They're easy to impress at that age, at least in your own memory of being a kid.
River shakes her head. She wraps her arms around her knees tighter, resting her chin on them. "A water park? Really? She's six. She wants a real party with her friends, not just an excuse to run around like crazy. And it's not like we have a backyard for them to run in anyways." Something in her throat trembles, and it makes her voice rise with frustration. "I want to give her something special, y'know? I want her to feel like a princess for a day, not a charity case. Throwing around some paper decorations isn't gonna make the apartment bigger."
You know that tone, and you want Jade to have the very best too, so you fix on a more serious face, not wanting your girlfriend to feel like she's alone in this. "Fine. OK, so what's... special but free? Botanical gardens? Beach?" you start to pitch and brainstorm. "What's the best space to pizzazz with these paper flowers that Jade's gonna kick ass at making?"
When your hand reaches her ear, she just melts. It's a soothing gesture that helps when River gets these horrific stress migraines, pinching and rubbing along the lobe to coax blood flow. River thinks for a moment, considering those suggestions. "Yeah, the beach could work," River says slowly, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Jade loves the water, and I know her friends would have a blast playing in the waves."
"We'd keep an eye on them the whole time obviously," you add. "Section off an area just for the party, probably with whatever decorations Jade's picked.
More on board with the crafts now that they have a space in mind, she hands you the list of ideas Jade already jotted down. "Here. If you can read her handwriting."
Just like Jade's interests, her ideas are all over the place. Not that you don't appreciate her creative process, but cowboys, aliens, and dragons don't sound very beachy. There are pages that she scrawled down that go together though. The foam sword, the paper pirate hat, and a treasure map. You'll pour coffee on it, crumple it a little, and singe the edges with a lighter to make it look authentic. A pirate theme sounds like the ideal way to make everything cohesive, especially since it'll keep the kids entertained so no one goes home complaining to their parents.
"It could be like a scavenger hunt," River says. She's been steadily getting into the whole idea, pitching all sorts of ideas to make Jade's special day great. "Kills two birds with one stone. The map is something they actually use instead of a set piece and we'll know where they are when they run around. Make sure they stay where we can see 'em.
"Yeah, I like that! When I was a kid, I read these Skullduggery books and was like, damn, imagine digging something up. Me and my siblings buried this time capsule at the beach, but I'm pretty sure it just got swept away by the waves."
"You shoulda dug deeper," River teases, but pecks your lips when you pout at the memory. "OK, so that's settled for the main activity. What can we put in the chest that won't break the bank?"
Chocolate coins, obviously. The two of you take turns listing out treasures that you'd find for cheap, like candy necklaces and plastic swords that will be sturdier than the foam ones. Eyepatches are a must too. Plastic telescopes and octopus pop-its.
River writes down a note that Jade could make her friends a custom friendship bracelet to thank them for coming and commemorate the occasion. Plus, it would get that rainbow loom set you two bought her out of the storage. Jade went on a bracelet-making kick two months ago but got bored, so now you've got all these extra loom bands around.
The two of you get to throwing around food ideas (you, personally, wanna serve chicken nuggets but brand them as 'gold nuggets') when Jade comes out of her room.
"Ta-da!" the girl says, holding out her birthday invitations. All told, there are seven, with radically different drawings attached. There's a horse (which looks like a giraffe with the neck honestly), a robot, a ballet dancer... "I've got six best best friends, so they've all gotta come. Mackenzie's got a little brother that should probably come too since they're always together, so I made him a smaller one."
"It's very sweet of you to think of your friend's brother." River shoots you a look as she says this, since Jade has been very fixated on siblings ever since you moved in. You shrug. You're not opposed to the idea but babies are expensive so the conversation has never gone longer than "that'd be cool!"
"These are awesome, kiddo! Think you could add something to each of 'em? Me and your mama thought a theme would make your birthday even cooler," you say.
"A theme? Oh, what is it, what is it?" Jade's already got her crayons in hand, ready to add to her masterpieces depending on your next words.
"Mmm, let's just say that you could be a mermaid, or have a peg-leg, but you can't turn up as a land-lubber." You cringe as soon as you're done saying it (you had been writing clue ideas for the scavenger hunt for the last ten minutes, OK?), but it makes River laugh so it's worth it.
"Pirates?!" You think the windows might shatter, that's how loud Jade's shriek is.
"Hell yeah, baby girl!" River says. "You like it?"
"I love it! Thank you so so much!" Jade leaps between you two, her tiny arms trying their best to wrap around and hug you both at the same time.
Upon seeing River's excitement as she shows Jade the list of ideas you two came up with, you can't help but smile. Your two favourite girls in the world are so hyped now that they're not even thinking about the cost, which was what you've wanted from the start. Jade pores over the list, nodding and adding little notes to the margins. There needs to be vegetarian options for her friend, Priya, for example, and she doesn't want it soooo different from the other food that Priya feels like she's missing out.
The day ends with half-made paper flowers, hot glue on foam, and Jade's rainbow loom taking up space on the kitchen counter and dozens of tiny colourful rubber bands all over the floor. Not to mention the dinner you cooked, which has gone cold and forgotten still on the stove. But when you turn to see Jade passed out on the couch, River's eyes lock with yours. Tired and pissed off from watching too many DIY YouTube tutorials, your girlfriend mouths "thank you. Jade was so happy," and you wouldn't have it any other way.
#mikey madison#mikey madison x reader#river x reader#river all souls#i consider this part of together-verse#so established relationship and jade loves you
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"Look at me in the eye and tell me you don't have feelings for Benjy"
There it was. Sirius avoided Remus's eyes when he was asked the question. After almost three years of relationship, Remus knew his boyfriend very well.
"You are going to start with your insecurities and jealousy again?" Sirius tusked, looking at the floor. "Give me a break, Remus"
It wasn't fair. Because Remus knew very well what was going on. He knew Sirius fancied Benjy because of the way he looked at him. Not quite like the eyes of love the he used to look at Remus with, but quite similar. The way he talked about him all the time. The way he smiled to himself when Benjy said something nice about him. The way he blushed when Benjy gave him a kiss on the cheek. Their complicity. Their love for art. Their similar chaotic persolities. Their love for partying.
Benjy Fenwick was Sirius’s classmate in Art School. After traveling across the world for two years, he had decided to stay in London and try with Art. Just because. Just because he was an asshole with luck and money.
Remus never liked him. Nor James or Lily. He didn't get along with the rest of their friends. It was as if he was obsessed with Sirius. He acted like Sirius’s long time best friend, which pissed James off. And like Sirius’s lover which pissed off Remus.
It didn't matter what Sirius said and how many times he denied it. He had a crush on Benjy.
At Hogwarts Remus had bared Sirius’s girls because he hadn't figured out he was queer and he was trying to hide it. But this was different.
It wasn't that their relationship was dying and Sirius didn't love Remus anymore. But Remus knew his Padfoot was enamored with the thrilling life that Benjy offered him. He wanted to feel young and pretty, and have fun. He wanted attention and adrenaline. He wanted adventure and trying new things.
Remus with his poor librarian salary and his calm routine, his introvertion and his shyness, could never give him that.
"Don't tell me I'm being crazy because it is not fair"
Right now, after months and months of playing dumb, telling friends he didn't mind and crying in his room while Sirius was out at some party without him, Remus had decided he couldn't take it anymore.
"I know you are angry because I overreacted last night... And the other night when I got drunk..."
"Yeah you were very mean with Benjy" Sirius whispered "You always treat him like shit..."
"Sirius..." Remus interrupted, his eyes filling up with tears "I need for you to be honest with me. I swear I can take the truth... But please be honest"
Sirius shook his head and shrugged "I'm being honest you just don't believe me"
Remus ignored him.
"You and I, we used to be inseparable..." Remus cried. And he could see tears on Sirius’s eyes as well. His lovely gray eyes "And we were really in love, weren't we?" Remus showed him his wrist tattoo. A little star with a P for Padfoot. "This is one proof" Sirius unconsciously touched his. A little moon with a M for Moony.
Remus shook away the memory of how happy Sirius was when he convinced Remus to get them.
"Our flat..." Remus said, looking around "Our things that we gathered together... There is a lot of proof that we loved each other..."
"Why do you use past tense?" Sirius intervened with tears falling through his cheeks "I still love you"
"I know" Remus said "But now Benjy is in your life..."
Sirius got uncomfortable.
"Benjy with his adventures and exciting plans each week... With his knowledge of bars and pubs and his funny stories about other times he's been there..."
"I don't know why that bothers you so much..."
"Pads... Sirius" Remus took a deep breath and wiped away his tears "Maybe it is all me and my crazy thoughts in my stupid head... But maybe it is you as well..."
Remus looked into Sirius’s eyes. At least tried. When he couldn't, he forced him to look at him by grabbing his chin. Delicately of course.
When Sirius’s eyes fixed on his, they were covered with tears once more.
"Please tell me what you feel. What is going on with you" Remus said "The truth"
Sirius pushed Remus away to compose himself. He cleaned the tears away and sniffed. Then he was quiet for a while.
Remus let him think without crying or pressuring him. He waited patiently for his response. In the meantime he prepared himself for the pain. For whatever Sirius would tell him.
Then Sirius looked up ready.
"You are right, Remus" Remus was surprised how sure he sounded. It meant he was going to say the truth not get nervous and hesitant while lying "I have feelings for Benjy... What I feel for him..." a pause in which Remus didn't even breathe "Is something that I can't control"
Remus felt as if someone was sticking a knife through his heart. Even if he already knew this. He had been preparing himself for this. It still hurt. It hurt like nothing else had hurt him. He felt the tears coming but he swallowed them and tried to be strong. He couldn't crumble down. That would be pathetic. That's what Lily had told him at least. "Have some dignity, Remus! You can live blindly like this forever"
"It's alright" Remus said, voice breaking "I understand. That's what I wanted to know"
"But I love you" Sirius tried grabbing his hands "I still love you..."
Remus dropped his hands.
"I never have and never will cheat on you, though"
"I know" Remus nodded and cried.
"Benjy just makes me feel alive..."
Please stop! Remus thought. But it wouldn't be fair because he had asked for the truth, hadn't he?
"He makes me feel young and pretty" Sirius continued "And I love you but I feel stuck with you and your jealousy and insecurities.. I don't want to explain everything I do. I just want to live!"
Sirius used to love Remus with his boring life, and bad posture, and books and cigarettes. It was Sirius who pushed him to do crazy things. That was how it worked. Or it used to work before Benjy.
"If that's the case," Remus replied "We know what we need to do"
"Remus... Are you breaking up with me?"
Seeing Sirius cry broke Remus's heart even more.
"I cannot share you. I can't and I don't want to"
As selfish as it sounded. Sirius used to be his, now it hurt not having all to himself anymore.
"Okay then" Sirius looked away to hide his tears.
Now Sirius was the one who was hurt? How ironic.
Remus was dying inside.
"I'm gonna pack my things then"
"You don't have to go" Sirius whispered under his breath.
"This is your flat anyway, your Uncle gave it to you"
Sirius didn't stop him. He hid his face between his knees.
Remus thought that he wasn't able to comfort Sirius anymore. He wasn’t able to touch him, kiss him, hug him. Never again.
His own body even ached in pain at the thought of it.
Remus got up from the spot he was sitting on the floor, and ran to the room. Their room.
He won't be sleeping in that bed anymore. He won't see Sirius waking up so beautiful in the morning.
And seeing all their things mixed up together, with not even a difference between Sirius’s things and Remus's things, made Remus crumble down.
How the hell he was going to pack now?
Instead he started crying, then sobbing, then yelling in pain. And he didn't care anymore if Sirius was in the other room. He didn't care about his dignity and honor.
And Sirius had noticed Remus's desperate cries. But he reckoned he couldn't do anything about it anymore.
Beg him to stay together? For what? The memory and nostalgia of what they used to be? How much they had loved each other?
Sirius silently cried as well.
#angsty wolfstar#Wolfstar breakup#They obviously end up together years later they are endgame#Sirius just needs to fuck up a little#marauders#marauders era#muggle au#remus lupin#sirius black#wolfstar#benjy fenwick#I'm in a sad mood so I write sad things sorry
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MAJOR JENTRY CHAU SPOILERS
I love JCVTU and think it’s written super well and the story is so good and the visuals are ✨chefs kiss✨ etc etc etc but goD DAMN IT WAS THERE A CHARACTER THAT WAS COMPLETELY BUTCHERED. If it wasn’t already obvious who I’m talking about, I’m talking about Kit. He was by far the most complex, interesting and heart breaking character in the entire show. He had SO MUCH POTENTIAL only for him to DIE possibly one of the most underwhelming and unnecessary deaths. I completely get that him dying was the shows way of redeeming him or something, but instead of letting the audience figure that out, the scene went the “tell don’t show” route and have Kit literally tell Jentry “I did this for you”
Please for the love of god can shows and movies STOP IT WITH THE REDEEMING A MAJOR VILLAIN BY THEM SACRIFICING THEMSELVES FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER 🙏
Kipo And The Age Of The Wonderbeasts did it. She Ra And The Princesses Of Power did it. And all at the very end of the show aswell. And they were all so undeserved and unsatisfying. It feels like such a cheap and easy way to redeem villains and I hate it every freakin’ time. What’s the point in redeeming them if we don’t get to see what comes of them afterwards? How they change and grow? How they and their prior enemies interact and feel about each other now? Do they fully accept the consequences of their actions and everything that comes with it? There’s so, so many possibilities and ideas that can come from redeeming a villain, but if they die. They freakin die. Can’t do much if they’re dead.
I seriously think we could’ve had the same outcome if maybe Kit isn’t killed but still severely injured and maybe somehow made disabled for the rest of his life. Kit can still “redeem” himself by sacrificing himself, and Jentry can still feel guilty and like she’s responsible for what happened to him.
This is all my thoughts on Kit’s death and why I personally think it was a stupid decision. But other than that, his sudden character shift a little later in the season was extremely weird and extremely uncomfortable. Kit can be flawed and clingy. He can have trouble with understanding how relationships have to be mutual in love and respect. He can be jealous and self conscious. But for some reason, the writers decided to make him a FREAKING STALKER. He more or less THREATENED JENTRY when she said no to him. He pinned her against a WALL. I love characters that can say or do unexpected things and surprise the audience, but this felt unexpected in a bad way. If his weird stalkery obsession with Jentry was implied more through the show, then okay maybe- But it wasn’t. It just happened. And I know many abusers and manipulators have multiple sides to them and can have sudden personality shifts. But something about the way Kit was written and presented didn’t feel like that. I really hope I’m explaining this correctly djhdkdhdj
CONCLUSION: Kit is my absolute favourite character in the show but he was a complete waste of potential and it actually kind of seriously ruins the show for me. I’m currently rewatching it and every scene with Kit all I can think about “This is pointless” and how he’s gonna unnecessarily die in the end. I still love this show and absolutely recommend it, but goddddddd-
#Jazzy dreamer#Jazzy rambles#Text post#Jentry Chau#jentry chau vs the underworld#JCVTU#JCVTU Kit#Jentry Chau Kit#JCVTU spoilers#Spoilers
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What do I expect from this coward?🤦♀️
I told her to come and face me.
But guess what Rhylie did?
Rhylie you can't run away from me not after you keep lying and harassing us
you tried to escape again
This is exactly what Rhylie did on her old account.
I will continue to spread awareness about Rhylie to everyone.
But look at her actions
I'm so scared she said
And Rhylie is still playing the victim.
I thought at least is not that worst
But I was very wrong
because of that the spoiled brat Rhylie
First I never said that I queen of Tumblr But that was you
You insisted on saying you are queen of Tumblr
I have evidence in the previous posts that you said this.
Plus Rhylie says that she is a god to all us🙄😬
And secondly
I never damsel in distress
I don't need anyone to save me
I can face my battles alone unlike you, you coward who hides behind your followers.
I said you are a fake damsel in distress And I did not mention myself in this phrase
else
Delete this now, You do not have the right to publish this drawing.
This drawing belongs to torrentialchaos.
This was an old drawing
When torrentialchaos didn't know Rhylie for who she really was
torrentialchaos story
((Alright, time for my story on Rhylie…
So, a while back, you may recall I did an art trade with Pami, and I very much enjoyed doing it.
Anyway, the next day, I got an ask in my inbox from her asking if I do requests, and of course I said yes. This was before I knew who she really was.
Anyway, her request was very simple. Draw herself, Pami, and a few other people (that she probably is also harassing) in the pose from Turning Red, which I did
Yes, I’m finally showing this now. Only so you can see what this creep made me do. I feel disgusted looking at this because I spent a good amount of time making this, only to find out I was being used for a stalker.
After I made this and posted it, I messaged Pami, of course since she was in it, and that’s when I found out the truth. Disgusted, I deleted the post immediately and blocked her.
And guess what happened next. A little later, I get a message from HER FRIEND asking me to unblock her! I unfortunately know what this is like as I had something similar happen to me once another time, but I’d rather not talk about that…
So yeah, that’s my Rhylie story. We need to get this creep off of tumblr for good.))
I feel bad for torrentialchaos
But what makes me angry is the response of Rhylie If you read what is in the picture
The worst thing is Rhylie taking The drawing without the owner's permission.
Seriously, torrentialchaos posted how they hates you now and you take the drawing and say three points
That's all matters to Rhylie.
her requests and demands
else Rhylie You prove it that you are 100% a Creep
I'm talking about this
@rainbow-starheart and @shadowwolfmemes was asked an important question
And you say you are 21 old And sensitive
You are asking someone with Different age from you to date you.
You don't even know them
They only know Rhylie through the drama
You ask to be in a relationship with people, you barely talked to them
Plus She wrote her name this way
(rhylie the cater fly is not a creep🤣🤣🤣🤣)
and other thing, I see your conversation with @rainbow-starheart
You want to get rid of me, you donkey
Don't make me laugh
What will you do? Will you send me one of your followers on me Or ask them to expose me
You are really stupid🤣🤣🤣
Guys I want to remind you, that Rhylie tried to make evidence against me In her old blog.
And it was very bad and weak evidence.
On top of that, she was confident of her weak evidence.
If you don't know what Rhylie evidence is
So let me tell you the funny thing.
Rhylie evidence was just a screenshot of On insults🤣🤣
just like that
There were many errors in Rhylie evidence.
First of all How do you know if this is was me huh
You just take a screenshot of the letters and Nothing indicates my blog
Unlike you, I take full screenshot on your blog
and secondly You can play with the letters.
You can easily mix my insults With fake sentences from you
For example, you can write something and take screenshot And you say I said this
and thirdly
She was very confident in them.
(((This is the real evidence, My own evidence are true and there are many truths about your true color that you've kept hiding from me and you lied and making everyone turned against me,
Unlike you, you're f**king delusional about your business and controlling everyone for what you have did to me.
Don't you see that all this hate posts about me makes others win against your fking Filthy mouth of yours, you're the worst gacha community leader ever and it is ugly and disgraceful, you have been kicked out from gacha community group, shame on you mysteryb*h!!!!!!
I won't let everyone forgive you…….))))
I'm laughing like crazy at Rhylie stupidity.
Even if one of Rhylie's followers tried to exposed me
They will be thrown Tomatoes at them.
Because first of all there is nothing to expose me at all
And secondly, if they tried to cover up Your crimes With an excuse and empty arguments, than Their position will be very bad.
And thirdly
If they try to lie about the truth or deny it
Their position will be very bad if they lied.
For example, if they said that @pamithebunterfly2007 Under mysterybook control And her lies
pami will respond angrily: This is not true.
pami: and Who gave you the right to say that?
pami: Rhylie is the problem
pami: Rhylie is a old creep stalker me!!! And you dare to say that mysterybook controls me
And pami showering them with their anger While others agree too
You're just making yourself worse and worse every second.
You can't get away with harassing people that easily without punishment.
So I suggest you to delete your blog from here Rhylie
I'm not afraid of you, You coward
Face it I'm the winner in this drama
youtube
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Oh look, the nepo baby singer who has nothing consequential to say also has empty fans who haven’t had a thought in their lifetimes. Sky’s blue, water wets, empty vessels make noise.
It is simple gig etiquette, you don’t control the choice of opener, and you can just come late if you really don’t want to see them. Even if you’re on the barricade and she can see you, you think an opener doesn’t understand that the people at the show aren’t always familiar with their work? They come with the mindset that they want to warm up the crowd, and if possible create new fans by exposing them to their music.
If you don’t like it, that’s also fine! Goodness me, I had more chats with Pulp fans about what they thought of the opener (people thought they were Weird and cringey) than I talked to them about Pulp. But did anyone do this? No! You let the openers do their thing! You can listen and either appreciate it or know that you have the choice to never listen to it again once you leave the venue.
It’s so self-centred to try and get the opener removed just because you don’t know them. What a stupid thing to say. Also ‘we don’t know her music’ but also ‘her music is so slow’? Make up your mind, do you know her or do you not?
People wonder why it’s hard for new musicians to draw huge crowds? It’s because over the last decade, we’ve all been conditioned so hard to know everything in advance.
Reruns, remakes, 20th anniversary remaster tops the charts, 30th anniversary reunion tour is the only show you’ve been to all year (it’s expensive so now you won’t spend $15 at a local show), as an audience, not only has our maturity been forgotten, but producers (and particularly financiers) of media have been so obsessed with coddling audiences for familiarity, we’ve been such huge losers for it.
The same radio stations that once boasted they playing the ‘hottest new names in music’ and magazines that proudly printed ‘We were the first to discover and ‘break’ them into the mainstream’ have spent the last year fishing for Oasis reunion stories. The name sells, familiarity is a business strategy and idiots will go into a frenzy doubling down on misinformation because they don’t like new and unfamiliar information (be it on bigotry, false biology or fantasy about ‘immigrants’).
And I guess sometimes it manifests itself like this: in people who are going to see an artist who has released 2 albums, and who herself was discovered by many fans in opening for Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift, and those fans are complaining about a new artist they don’t yet know who has potentially got the biggest career boosting opportunity of her life, because they’re not ‘familiarized with her work’.
Ignoring the fact that anyone else who replaces her at short notice will also not be familiar, what the hell? Skill issue. Dora Jar has ONE album out. How fucking hard is it to listen to ONE album. A friend of mine is challenging herself to do one new album a day this month. How fucking hard is it.
#Music#and they ask why new music is struggling to draw crowds? If these self centred people are who you’re trying to court I’m not surprised#‘We can’t go see her because we don’t know the words and can’t performatively pretend we’re her biggest fans by screaming every word’#All I’m hearing is ‘I’m uncomfortable when we’re not about me?’ Man. You’re not the ones on stage just chill out!#Literally unsurprised#gracie abrams#music#concert etiquette#Gig etiquette#Musicians#live music#Also reading Dora Jar’s Wikipedia made me laugh. She says she admires the Beatles ‘confidence in nonsense’ which is#gonna become a beloved sentence to me bc she Gets the Beatles then#Also her first purchased album was OutKast and first gig Foo Fighters. Girl. HOW ARE YOU MAKING BEDROOM POP#made me laugh. Anyway#Dora Jar#taylor swift
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I'm really still amazed and amused by how much hate the greens have for Luke. To be honest, before I watched the series, I thought Luceris was worse than Ramsay. The greens are very loud in their long essays, with which they fill the entire space, distorting the plot in every possible way in their favor. They are very stupid, maybe naive, or maybe all together. I have no other explanation for why they hate a child so much, who has little to blame. Except that just to be born. To be honest, I'm really looking forward to the return of Luceris in season 3. I would even say that a lot of people are waiting for this now. I really want Luke to kick Eamond's ass this time. He absolutely deserved it, lol. I know that Elliot has grown up since then, the guy turned 19 the other day! Other people's children grow up so fast. But I think with all the mystique going on in Harrenhal, it wouldn't be so important. Moreover, they were more likely to be visions/dreams, judging by Damon. So it will be quite possible to write off the grown-up Luke on the fact that this is exactly how Eamond imagines him. I don't know. In general, I don't care how they do it, but they need to bring Luceris back for at least 10 seconds. I just want to see the green guys' asses burn after that.
I was waiting for Luke to show up during Daemon's haunted Harrenhal and when he never did I was honestly sad about it. And when Luke wasn't in Daemon's hallucinations I thought up a scene in my head of what I think that might have looked like, I think it would've been great to see Luke again, for oh so many reasons. It's so funny that the Greens are so insane in their rambles that you thought Luke was worse than Ramsey before you actually watched! But you're so right, they twist and turn and distort the plot in anyway they can to make it fit their victim mentality and their arguments. It's infuriating.
#anti team green#pro lucerys velaryon#pro team black#house of the dragon#hotd#prince lucerys#lucerys velaryon#lucerys targaryen#lucerys valeryon#pro daemon targaryen#daemon targaryen#hotd daemon#daemon targeryan#harrenhal#tumblr asks#answered asks#asks
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huevo grande, no bueno.
#my art#jrwi#jrwi fanart#just roll with it#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#jrwi spoilers#jrwi Chip#niklaus hendrix#nobody move#my bloods on the floor#and I! cant! find! my heart!#I have so many thoughts about Chip#my stupid little guy#WHO IS 19#HES BABY
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what kind of frivolity would you engage in, mecha?
<
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#mecha sonic#scrapnik mecha sonic#scrapnik island#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#arting#msab#good MORNING. i have given myself many emotions about mecha's big stupid cape. like a fool. such is the way i suppose#god ive been dying to get to this one. do you get it. do you understand#victories; if not on your own terms. achievements; if not the ones you thought you wanted. childhood dreams that never die.#which on that note yeah this is also my favorite one for showing eggman-era mecha as like#''yeah hes hes the most arrogant and murderous jackass on the planet but hes also like 17.''#& therefore kind of a lame little nerd by default. he thinks capes are sooooooo coool#we were all stupid kids once but sometimes u get older and u still wanna paint your house purple. and sometimes u still want a cool cape#it occurs to me that actual 17-year-olds may see this and to that i say: sorry. you guys are fine do ya thang.#its just that im 29 and have grey hair and shit so i have a certain Perspective on being 17 is all. & scrapnik mecha is like mid-30's to me#i knoooowwww he loves his big stupid cape so much. look at the refsheets with his dumbass spines poking holes through the the hood#tell me he has not made a COMMITMENT to wearing that hood despite being built in a way that makes that incredibly inconvenient#u look at nathalie fourdraine's christmas scrapniks post and tell me he isnt having so much fun#being all decorated and swishing around in that Even Bigger And Stupider Cape & shawl w/ his friends#hes so funny for that he's generally such a serious kinda character but on god he does also love some showmanship and flashiness.#i want to make it clear btw i also think capes are awesome i literally cosplay a guy with Two [2] capes.#& mecha is basically the coolest ever. but also hes still funny for that
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one of my favorite things about getting older is that I’m just more sure and more confident in taking control in social situations and making other people feel at ease. I really love it!
#have always wanted to be good at it but it takes time#at least for me#my mom was describing one of her college friends to me the other day#and she goes ‘yeah she was kind of like you. personable and direct and kind.#‘and she was always going to deal with you (positive) instead of ignoring you’#honestly compliment of all time! because it does not come totally naturally to me#and there’s a lot that gets in my way—shyness anxiety a certain stiffness#but I love when i can feel it sort of giving way#anyway just rambling#also once again teaching has helped with this so much#because kids HAVE to be guided through a social situation. they don’t know what to do#and if I let them run it it’s always stupid#so just taking control asking the questions kind of —situating them so we can have a moment and then I can dismiss them#not that I do the same with adults lol. but works more often than you think#just having some direction and taking charge of a social interaction#I remember this comedian once saying he loved when someone took control in a social situation re: greetings/handshakes/hugs#like ‘oh thank goodness someone is figuring this out’ it’s so true and so funny skskdkdjd#I hope there is nothing peremptory about it! but I often find I’m so much ruder by doing nothing#than by being proactively kind and (hopefully) appropriate to the occasion#you know I’ve spoken on it before but my life really changed#when I made myself go back and say goodbye to my students after graduation my second year teaching#like. I literally ran away because I was so shy and it felt so awkward and no one was taking charge of how to do it#and the students wouldn’t (can’t) so it felt like they didn’t want to#and then I realized no—if someone is going to take the lead here it has to be me#and then I did! and there was in fact so much love waiting for me#people just don’t know how to show it#so you have to give them an opportunity#this is so many thoughts but I feel this sooooo much and I care about it so much
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Little blurb that’s been sitting in my Docs for while based on @auspicioustidings idea from a while ago now i think— But yeah! I’be got like zero motivation to continue this- butttttt i liked the scene a lot so it shall be seen now! (Plus it’s Mhari’s Birthday!!! Happy Birthday Mhari! :> Even though i’m a few hours late into the day Hope you’re having a wonderful birth celebration!)
Based on a a scene i cooked up where reader finally gets caught by none other than the Ghost himself:
The weight of a gun in your hand is familiar.
So is the quiet sounds of a break in. You point at the door, watching, waiting. Like clockwork it creaks open, and there he is.
“Don’t move.”
You say sharply. Making the gun in your hand well known to the intruder.
Silence. He stares at you, you stare back. How many times have you done this dance? Tense words and a dashing messy escape. (The poorly wrapped bandages around your abdomen throb answering you question for you. Too many then.)
You sigh, and lower the gun.
He doesn’t even look suprised.
With a soft, Thump! ,you plop backwards onto the bed, arms outstretched. The gun is still in your hand but it’s dead weight. (Just like you.)
“…You’re not gonna ever stop are you?”
It’s said up at the shitty hotel ceiling. Hushed in the darkness of the room.
“No.”
He says it so simply.
You hum, pulling your knees and legs up onto the bed and rolling over. Back facing him, on your side. You snag a plushie on the way, hugging it close to your chest and settling your chin atop its head.
“Well shit. Turn all my red flags to white then, i give up.”
Defeated. Hushed. Tired. It sounds so unlike your normal voice. “But you already knew that didn’t you?”
There’s a dip in the bed, true to his namesake- he was silent as he walked to sit. You haven’t even heard him.
“…Who did your bandages?” Gruff bastard with his gruff voice. Sounding way too passive for talking with you, an enemy, his target actually. He should be barking orders and threats to you, you’ve heard the way he speaks on a mission before, all bite and harsh. But he shows none of that tension now. Not a lick of hostility.
“Who do you think?” You snort out, tucking your face into the head of the plushie and vehemently ignoring him.
“Kid, you need help. You can’t survive on your own.” Straight to business it seems.
Without even turning to look at him, you halfheartedly raise your middle finger.
He sighs.
Silence. Blissful, damning, silence. You’ve no more fight left to give and he knows it. Months on the run, months of constant near death escapes, months of being hunted like a dog. You’re tired. So tired.
“Ya know, Torture isn’t an effective way of getting info outta someone: statistically speaking.”
“We’re not gonna torture you.”
“But you do want that info don’t you?”
More silence.
You hum knowingly.
“And what happens after you get your precious information? You’ll kill me? Maim me like all the other fuckers who end up in your shit list?”
“No. Never.”
He says it with such ferocity it almost takes you by surprise for a second. If you were to be facing him, you would see the hardness of his eyes. The pure conviction swarming in his gaze.
“Not you. Never you.”
…
Finally you turn to him, feeling far too much like a young little kid on the playground who just can’t understand-
“Why?”
Something in his gaze softness. He wants to tell you this because he cares. The team cares. All of them- that they saw you, a prickly, panicked little bird in over their head and flying blind- but he knows it an answer you won’t accept. One you won’t understand. Not at this stage. Not yet. You don’t believe in words, you’ve been lied too far too many times for that.
So he says something you will believe. A watered down version of the truth that feels like such a disservice to everything that makes up your very being.
“You’re interesting.”
You seem to digest his words. Turning them over and thinking in that little head of yours.
‘How long is that interest gonna last?’
That's what you want to say. You want to scream at the top of your lungs that he doesn’t want you. No one does. He’ll get sick of your brashness eventually- he’ll learn and grow used to your tricks. And when your spontaneity grows old, you know what’ll happen.
But you don’t.
You say nothing except—
“…Can I at least pack my bags? …please?”
He knows you don’t have much to pack. He also knows you’re one tricky, flighty little bird. However, he heard your small plea, sees the defeated look in your eyes, the way your hand is so lax around the gun.
Gently, oh so gently, he takes the gun from your hand. You don’t even try and fight him.
“Sorry little bird. Can’t trust you to pack.”
The sad look on your face nearly makes him reconsider. But he can’t risk you getting away again. Not when you’re so easy to catch right now. So vulnerable.
“Can’t you restrain me and then i’ll tell you what to pack?”
That, he can do.
“Up.”
Commands come so naturally to him. You’re almost jealous at how easily they fall from his lips.
Like the old defeated dog you are, you listen, sitting up and presenting your hands to him to restrain. You don’t meet his eyes.
He takes no chances, you are securely bound with a pair of handcuffs. He tugs on them, standing you up and nudging you to the common area of your hotel room. It’s a sizable room, a nice hotel, though truthfully you hadn't really been thinking when you booked it. Brain to frazzled and exhausted to think about anything beyond a clean bed and a hot shower.
The lights are flicked on by his gloved hands, flooding your vision. You hiss blinking and adjusting while he nudges you to the center of the room, down into your knees.
“What am I looking for here, bird?”
Your gaze flicks to him, then to the corner of the room, a vent right by a little corner desk with a lamp.
He follows your gaze and then, (with one last hard look towards you that screams ‘stay’), he walks over. Inside the vent is a crumpled up backpack, old and raggedy. It looks out of place amongst the clean cream colors of the hotel amenities.
He prods at the thing, trained caution. (You don’t blame him after your last stunt with explosives.)
Unceremoniously he opens up the bag and dumps all its contents on the floor. You wince, watching your whole life be scattered on the ground.
A journal, a thermal blanket, a lighter, cash, USB sticks, Your laptop in its thick padded casing (thank god), stolen hotel amenities, nicotine patches, several pill bottles, a half empty water bottle, a pocket knife, bullets…
Your own personal little horde of trinkets.
“Was that necessary…?” You mutter, as he stuffs some stuff back into the bag.
“Can’t blame me for bein’ cautious.”
“Well- i could.”
He turns to look at you. Just… stares at you, all you can see is his eyes at that dreadful mask, boring into yours. He doesn’t need to say anything. You both know you could but you never. Been through too much to really blame him.
You’ve saved his life before, even though he was hunting you. You both know you would never blame him for doing his job. Not at this point.
(Just as he would never blame you for running.)
#cod fanfic#fanfic#go look at auspicioustiddings they’re cool#reader insert#simon riley x reader#I have so many thoughts about this au#Simion is a treat in this#so soft#Reader on the run who is resourceful and just so absurd in their demeanor#i’m talking pulling out insane insults as they run#calling ghosts mask moldy lol#But also is a reader who is just so defeated and tired#they don’t wanna run anymore#not from 141#not from banter through texts#not from stupid reaction images#not from strangers offering in full confidence to doordash you food while you’re starving#not from the resulting jokes about them trying to get an address out of you#Not from the warm yet hearty meal that shows up anyway#not from the closest thing to family they’ve ever known#but how could they ever stay?#It’s a dynamic set to fail#They are a target#An objective#So what happens when 141 finishes their mission#what happens when they are caught?#ANYWAY— Happy birthday Mhari!!!
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia
#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain#way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right#but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion#this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me#how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk#I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it#but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid#theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some#universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice#source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING#THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific#than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍#nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I#really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk#the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will#understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿#Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best#but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment#im rambling the short version is I have adhd#yapping
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Finally finished sweet tooth s3. Having incredibly mixed feelings
#love the show. love it a lot. about to be a bitch in the tags anyways#it was. so so messy. they needed another season so bad. the alaska trip took up so much of the comics#and that was with the previously established cast#in the show they introduced a million new characters. gave us no time to get to know them before they were thrown head first into the plot#and condensed an arc that was almost half of the comics into the span of like 5 episodes#my boy singh. oh how they massacred by boy#i mean. okay. in the context of the show the arc wasn't horrible for him.#but i think his survival in the comic and his dedication of his life to making up for the mistakes of his past by helping people and hybrids#would've been so much more powerful than his random self sacrifice at the end of the show.#bc honestly it just seems like another impulsive act in his moral flip flop he'd been having for the last few episodes#rather than active choice to be better#and honestly i wanted to see his delusional paranoid religious breakdown from the comics put to screen so bad#it would've been great#i do like that he turned against zhang the second she started trying to talk about rani. that shit slapped#the several fake outs about Jepp's death were so stupid and unnecessary and repetitive#why are you baiting everyone. you're going to piss off the hardcore comic fans waiting for his death and confuse the show fans#either commit to killing him or stop pretending like you're brave enough to do it#why did they flip back so hard into the mystical vaguely eco fascist backstory and outcome of the comic#after spending two seasons trying to build a more scientific and less 'humanity must end' story for two seasons straight#they tried to make it seem less 'humanity must die' again at the end by ending the virus#which i guess might've been the best outcome available considering the source material and the limitations of it's ending#but idk. it felt weird#the writing this season was so much less subtle. it felt like the characters were constantly monologing directly at the camera#nothing could be left unsaid everyone had to say exactly what they meant#and it was all moral lessons the writers were trying to feed directly to the audience#i feel like they wrote themselves into a corner at the end of the last season#and they expected to have at least one more season to write themselves out of it before the ending#and if not. if this was the plan since the beginning. literally what. WHAT.#can not imagine the people who wrote the last two seasons sitting down and writing this#it won't let me add more tags but i have more thoughts. many more. tumblr is silencing me for speaking the truth /j
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