#i just got back from thr grocery store this is on my mind

[gaygent37]

PLEASE MAKE THE CONTINUATION OF THR ABO PROMPT. THEY STILL FUCKING (like, everywhere) AND DICK GETS PREGNANT AND THEY LIKE "holy shit" aND THEN MALE LACTATION(????) (And Jason loves that, ohboy ofc he does)

Part 2 to this

Dick wished he could say they learned their lesson the first time.

But the very next morning, he woke up to Jason rutting between his thighs, which turned him on a lot, and they did it again.

“Fuck, Dickie,” Jason smirked once he was knotted firmly inside of Dick again. “At this rate, you’ll always have a good amount of my cum stuffing you full.”

“No,” Dick grumbled, the bliss of his orgasm starting to fade. “At this rate, I’ll end up pregnant. Didn’t I tell you to use a condom last night?!” Not that he really put up much of a fight.

“Mmm… no? You asked me if we used one,” Jason said. His knot was finally starting to shrink. “You wanna go again, bro?” he asked. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Jason?” Dick asked, smacking him with a pillow. He groaned and pulled himself off of Jason’s knot, a bit unhappy about the loss of something plugging him up.

He felt Jason’s cum starting to leak out of him as he rolled out of bed.

“I’ve got errands to run today. Can’t spend the entire day in bed,” Dick explained, going to his closet.

“I can come with you,” Jason offered. 

“You wanna run errands all day?” Dick asked.

“Sure,” Jason said, grinning. 

“Suit yourself,” Dick said with a shrug. He pulled out a shirt and grimaced. “I’m going to go get cleaned up and take a shower.”

Dick had literally just stepped into the shower, closing his eyes to the warm spray. He watched with a small smile as the doors and the mirrors started steaming up. It was like a tiny bit of privacy.

Which was obviously lost on Jason because the bathroom door silently opened when Dick was lathering his hair.

“You look lonely in here,” Jason said in Dick’s ear.

“I- I’m not lonely. I’m taking a shower!” Dick snapped, rinsing the suds out of his hair so he can open his eyes. “Why are you here- oh, fuck.”

Dick’s knees went weak as Jason slid two fingers up his still wet hole, immediately finding Dick’s prostate and rubbing it. And just like that, Dick was bent over in the tiny shower, presenting his ass for Jason to fuck. 

“Aw, look, bro,” Jason chuckled. “Your hole hasn’t even gotten a chance to tighten up from the last round yet.” Even so, he lined himself up and pushed into Dick. “So wet and warm, Dickie.”

“Shit, Jay…” Dick said in a breathless voice. “You feel a lot bigger like this!”

Jason smirked. “Is that so? Well, don’t mind if I do then.” He snapped his hips, driving his cock deep into Dick. Dick was so wet - with both slick and cum - that had Dick not been as tight as he was, it would have felt frictionless.

But Dick was tight, and wet, and so fucking addicting. Jason could definitely say he was getting hooked, if he was not already.

“Damn, bro, you feel so fucking good,” Jason groaned.

Dick whined softly, squeezing around Jason’s cock. “Fuck me, Jay. I wanna feel it. Fuck me harder, deeper. Fuck!”

Jason slammed back into Dick, pistoning his hips hard. His hands were gripping Dick’s waist, pulling him backwards against every thrust. The sopping wet sounds of their mating was amplified in the small bathroom, and more slick than water was running down Dick’s thighs at this point. 

“Shit, I’m close, bro. Gonna cum inside you again, keep my omega filled to the brim, just like I promised,” Jason grunted.

“Fill me, fill me, fill me,” Dick chanted, craving the rush of warm cum that made his omega side shiver and preen proudly. He turned his head slightly and grinned back at Jason. “I wanna always be full of my alpha’s cum.”

“Fucking hell, Dickie-” Jason groaned, his climax hitting him like a train, despite cumming not ten minutes ago. His knot swelled right against Dick’s rim, stretching it obscenely before Jason forced him to take that too. 

Dick came with a soft cry as Jason’s knot was slowly pushed inside of him, making him feel the stretch of the almost fist-sized knot. He sighed as the pleasurable aftershocks flowed through him.

He was knotted, and he was being pumped full of Jason’s cum. He was very happy.

Or at least, his omega side was. 

“You… You came inside me again,” Dick moaned softly, still feeling occasional zaps of pleasure. 

“I said I���d keep you full,” Jason told him.

“But…”

“Aw, don’t complain, bro. It’s not like you can say you don’t want me to cum inside you,” Jason said, giving Dick’s ass a squeeze, massaging the supple flesh. 

Dick groaned. It was honestly a bit true. He wanted Jason’s cum inside him, quite a bit actually. And it was not like the idea of getting pregnant was terrible. It was just… all a bit fast.

“Fine, but no more,” Dick warned. “I really need to get stuff done today!”

“Okay, okay, geez, bro,” Jason laughed. “Next time, leave the complaints until after I’m out of you so I can walk away.”

Dick rolled his eyes.

They were knotted together until the shower ran cold.

They ended up fucking at the breakfast table.

They almost ended up doing something in the cereal aisle of the grocery store,

They christened the couch after lunch. 

They also left cum stains to dry on the backseat of Dick’s car.

Jason slowly fucked Dick through cooking dinner, resulting in a very burnt pot of spaghetti and Chinese takeout.

They did it three more times before falling asleep that night, knotted together again.

And Dick only complained once in all those times (in the cereal aisle).

The very next day, Dick stocked up on pregnancy tests, shoving them in the bathroom cabinet. He and Jason never got any time alone after that day, though there were a couple of rushed blowjobs and hidden handjobs here and there. 

So when Dick took said pregnancy tests after two weeks later and the eight tests all read positive, he was surprisingly calm. He went about his day, running errands, meeting up with his team. 

He had invited Jason over for dinner later that night.

“Hey, bro-” Jason said as soon as he stepped through the door. 

Dick threw a key at him. Jason caught it right before it hit his face. 

“What the-”

Dick then threw a wadded up piece of paper, which Jason almost managed to deflect.

“Dickie-

Finally, Dick threw all eight pregnancy tests at him. 

Jason just covered his head as the pregnancy tests rained down around him. 

“What the everloving fuck, bro?” Jason said, looking at the mess around him.

“You’re moving in. I’m pregnant. That’s the list of things you need to get for the baby. Now wash up for dinner, daddy.”

He left Jason gaping at him in the doorway, and when he was out of sight in the kitchen, Dick gave a tiny little smile and put a hand on his flat tummy.

1175 words

I’ve very flattered you liked it enough to want a continuation. This was quite fun to write.  Thanks for prompting me!

[arohasfiction]

Basketball Princess~🧚🏻🏀

As i promised, a Basketball AU Scenario based on Eunwoo's pictures from " Handsome Tigers" for my cutie friend @lookin-for-astro-mutuals who has been waiting for it, i hope you Enjoy it~^^

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Pairing: Cha Eunwoo X Female Reader

Gener: Too Fluffy, Basketball AU

Word Count: 2116

A/N: This time I've added some pics and texts to make it look more interesting 😊+ Dialogues are coloured [ Y/N: Pink] , [ Cha Eunwoo: Purple].

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Credits to the Gif Owner~

You are known to be one of the Top students at your university, you're kind, sweet, intelligent and everyone liked friending you. You seemed like a quite and calm person to the others, but you're not, you liked moving around alot and you like to play many sports, one of your favourite was Basketball.

Like Every University and college, there are clubs for Art, Music, dancing, Football and many different clubs to join, one of your wishes during your time at university was to join the Basketball club, basically because you loved basketball, but unfortunately, boys are the only ones allowed to join it and girls can only come to cheer for the members.

You Sighed at the thought of not being able to join your favourite sport's club as you were walking to your next class. On your way, you passed by the gym , you still have 15 minutes until your class starts, so you thought of going inside to take a look since you still have some spare time. You walked inside and stood near to the door watching the basketball team playing a match along with each other, you started reading their faces, they were sweating alot and looked tired but at the same time, their eyes looked full of excitement, they didn't care about anything and they seemed to be enjoying in their own world, and for a second you wished if you were able to join them . You were observing each one of them when your eyes met with a long handsome boy who was brushing his hair of his forehead, he looked sweaty but it made him even more handsome that made your heart skip a beat.

Of course you know him, he is famous in the college to be a top student among boys like you, and he is a talented basketball player and nonetheless every girl in the Campus have a crush on him.

You shyly looked away but looked back at him again, and as they say it needs only 3 seconds to fall in love. As your eyes turned back on him, you're eyes met again and this time he waved at you with a smiley face, you turned around yourself as you thought he was waving at someone else, you looked at him again pointing at yourself, " Me..?", He nodded as he was giggling at you and slowly started approching , "Hello (Y/N)~", " Hi Eunwoo Sunbai...wait how did you know my name~?", " And how can i not know my academic rival's name?" You giggled at his answer , " and how did you know my name~?", " You're the most famous boy in the university campus so yeah hehehe", " If its okay with you, We should hangout sometimes we can study together too,...and..if you like we can meet at lunch after your class", "Sure i don't mind" your conversation went smoothly, it was as if you two were friends from a long time. Your class ended and now you have 2hours break until your next class starts, as you promised Eunwoo, you went to cafeteria and waited for him to come, when he did , you started eating and chatting, " So earlier you seemed to be interested in basketball am i right?", " Well, i love basketball since i was a kid and i really wanna play it, but as you see I can't here.." you said pouting ," Hmm.. that's sad..how about you play it outside the college, plus i can show you some tricks too" ," you well? For real?? Omg thank you so much!!" Eunwoo's cheeks starts to get red as he saw how excited you are . After having lunch you two exchanged phone numbers and decided to meet in the neighborhood's basketball playground.

You with your hoodie and ponytail hair were standing in the middle of the playground aiming at the basket infront of you, with a slight jump and accurate throw, the ball went inside and it was a goal, you heard someone clapping from a distance coming close, you turned around to see Eunwoo in a casual outfit " Wow! Nice shot!" He was really looking so normal but for some reason your heart skipped a beat. You both continued playing until your tummies started making some wired noises that tells you its time to eat, " I'm soooo hungry wanna have some ramyun??" You said, " Sure there is a grocery store near by lets head to it", you both bought ramyuns and started eating, without realizing he was observing you while you're eating, you felt in that gaze so you looked up " Eunwoo-yah, something wrong? Wait there is something on my face right!" , He finally realized that he was staring at you and shyly looked at his ramyun saying" oh haha no, its nothing". your day ended and its time to head back and he insisted to take you home, do you think he walked you home? no you're wrong, he told you to wait for him and he came back with his sport black Car with 2 comfy seats, he got out of the car and opened the door for you, you sat down and so he did, he pullled the seat belt on you and you were afraid that he might hear your heart beat, and soon he drove you home.

Day by day,after hanging out together both of your feelings grew bigger and both of you realized that you love each other, but no one of you took the chance to confess, probably afraid of ruining your friendship. That day your lecturer ended the class earlier than you thought so decided yo text Eunwoo to ask him if he's in class or somewhere else.

You finally reached the Gym and entered, Eunwoo saw you, smiled and continued playing, you just stood there watching him, since you started to have feelings to him , everything he did looked lovely and cool, your heart beated fast at the tiniest actions he does, you were too focused with your thoughts and didn't notice the basketball coming to you like a rocket ship, before you can even protect yourself, two wide arms immediately pulled you and got wrapped around you, one is placed at your back and the other one covering your head, yes Eunwoo pulled you into his embrace to protect you from the ball by making himself a shield, you heart was attacked by the sudden action, your mind was still processing what just happened, Eunwoo pulled off and cupped your face, " Hey, Are you alright!! Did you get hurt somewhere??!" He said almost freaking out, the words barely came out of your mouth, your cheeks were so reddish " ahh-hh yes...yes I'm fine" but you went back to your consciousness, and remembered that he defeated the ball with his back to protect you, " wait!! Are you hurt, the ball hit you really hard, lets go and get some ice from thr clinic!!", You said with a worried face, "heheh its okay I'm fine its not a big deal, I'm glad you're not hurt" he paused for a moment then continued saying " Mm (Y/N)", " Yes?", " Are you free now? Wanna have some ice cream?", "Sure, but did you finish practicing?" ," Yeah I'm done, just let me bring my bag and I will come". And so both of you bought some ice cream and sat on a bench infront of the sea view, it was almost getting dark as the sun went down, you were both enjoying your ice creams silently when Eunwoo stopped and turned to you, "(Y/N)", you hummed in response," I have an important thing to tell you", "What is it~?" You said as you turned your face to him, but only to find his cold lips placed on yours, it was a gentle kiss with an ice cream flavour, you looked at him in a shocked way unable to close your eyes, your heart was beating fast and you were sure that it might explode in any second, he parted and looked at you " I love you, I love you so much from the first time our eyes met, you don't have to answer me now, I'll-" he didn't complete what he was saying but to find your lips connected with his again, your heart was still beating so fast but your emotions were flowing , you wanted to do that as soon as possible, as your lips still connected, Eunwoo placed his palm on your heart, and parted slowly, " hehe i can feel your heart is beating so fast right now" you were too embarrassed and you immediately hide your face in his neck, he wrapped his arms around and hugged you "hehehe you're so cute", " nooo stopppp~~~~~!!" And so the night went.

The next day you and Eunwoo were walking hand into hand in the campus, in the same time those laser stares were following both of you, of course the Girls didn't like the idea of them seeing their crush dating a girl he was just a friend of , and so the boys thought the same because many boys had a crush on you and asked you out but you were not interested, simply because you didn't want to date someone who you don't have feelings for. Anyways Eunwoo walked you to your class and then he went to his class,. Later, after you finished you texted Eunwoo because its was past the time that both of you should have lucnh together...

You waited until Eunwoo came and he droved you to a lovely restaurant near by the neighborhood , you both sat infront of each other and all what you were doing was staring at him as he was focused with the menu

when he looked up you immediately looked at your menu but didn't notice that its upside down so he laughed at you, you both had dinner together and went back home.

In the next day you only had one class in the morning, so you attend it and later when you were done you met him in the hall, " Nunu-yah, aren't you coming?", " Oh you go back first, since we both have Off days tomorrow i will spend the rest of the day in your apartment if you don't mind hehe", you immediately agreed and went back to clean the house, and made dinner before he comes back, its not like the first time for him to come over, but each time made you even happier. Ever since you started dating, your life became brighter because of him. He arrived and took a shower and you both had dinner, and now he was semi- lying on the sofa and you were locking your arms around his watching TV together, he suddenly took out a kind of paper and gave it to you, " what's that?" You asked with an innocent look, " Read it^^" *after reading it*, " Omg are you serious!!! Were going to have a female basketball team!!!but, but- how???!!", " I can't just igonre my girlfriend's Sad look as she watches her favourite sport without joining, so i presuaded the dean", you jumped on Eunwoo and hugged him tightly, then your eyes met, slowly his face came closer and closer to pull you in a passionate kiss, you on the top of him, and him wrapping his arms aronud you, " Let's go to the bed its getting late", " but we have and off day tomorrow" you said with a pouty face," and who said we will sleep? Of course we will cuddle, i feel like i haven't cuddled with you for a long time" he said with his angelic smile,. you cuddled the whole night until you both fell asleep, in the next morning you woke up to find Eunwoo's place empty so you got up and dragged yourself to look for him, you found him in the bathroom brushing his teeth but he didn't notice you yet, so you took out your phone and took a picture of him,

he noticed that and turned to you, "Sweetheart!!! No pictures !! I-", "but you look so cute" you said with your sleepy eyes, " i will go and make us some breakfast" you said, "No, breakfast can wait, i want us to have a morning cuddle, but first you need to delete that pic" , "hehehe no no~" and you ran to the bedroom while he was after you.

The End

[way-veee]

yān yǔ

pt. 3

today you had to go grocery shopping. 

you and wayv were going to go out and buy ingredients for a filmed dinner making segment. the segment started at four, and you were to be taking notes the whole time. what a great way to spend an afternoon. 

it was just around lunch time, so you decide to go out and get something to eat before you have to leave. the confides of your quarters were crushing, you couldn’t stand the structured day schedule for one more minute. 

you knew a ramen place close-ish by,and it sounded like a nice break from everything.

you were more than excited to leave as you stick to the corners of the halls not wanting to explain yourself to any managers. 

you thought you were alone on your adventure outside, but you were sadly mistaken. xiaojun, lucas and winwin were following you from behind. they saw you leave and being presidents of the we hate y/n club, they had to follow you to see what you were doing.

you round the corner and open the door, you feel the fresh air on your face and rejoice.

“hey!” lucas yells in a bird like voice. “where are you going!”

you jump, startled again. god, this day was supposed to be fun. “ i was just going out.”

they look confused.

“alone?” winwin says. it was like the whole concept of independence was new to him.

you nod looking at these boys. then you remembered the promise you made to yourself.

“i.. i’m going to a ramen place for lunch. would  you like to come?” you muster up your best relaxed smile.

“no,” xiaojun says.

“yeah that sounds boring.” lucas replies.

winwin just looks at you with a face of disgust and you assume he means no as well.

you were so glad you were a nice person.

“when you guys usually go out how many guards do you need with you?”

they look you in the eyes now, aware of what you’re doing.

“we need at least two at all times, if there’s filming then we bring over 10 people.” lucas replies.

“ i know it’s not my place to say this, but even if you wont tell me i know you guys want to be alone outside. no one wants to be caged up.”

they know you’re right. but they also know that the’re rules that they need to follow.

“you shouldn’t be caged up. do you hear me?”

they stay quiet. maybe they shouldn't have talked to you at all.

“im going,” you say sternly. “you should come.”

then you walk off, breaking your facade and breathing heavily from fear. if they tell on you you’d be off this report immediately and would probably be fired. 

but for some reason you know that they won’t. 

“were you actually gonna follow her!” winwin yells at lucas. 

“well, yea for a second i was.”

“why!” winwin whispers yells still not wanting to be caught and hurried back into their rooms.

“you know she’s right,” xiaojun says, serious. 

winwin quiets, you were right. then lucas begins to speak

“listen, i know that we hate her and she’s annoying and a bunch of other things, but i still think we should go with her. we won’t get another chance like this for a while.”

“i want to go too,” xiaojun says, siding with lucas.  

xiaojuns pleading eyes completely destroy whatever counter argument winwin has.

“fine,” he says, a hint of excitement in the back of his throat. “but if she sells us off to sasaengs or tries to kill us, it’s on you guys.” 

“im gonna put on my travel pants!” lucas yells galloping back to his room.

when they catch up to you, you were relieved, excited and a little bit confused on why lucas kept on talking about “travel pants”

you stay silent and let them talk in hushed tones. this was an alliance between you both and you didn’t want to wreck it.

when you get to the ramen place you speak to the waiter in hushed chinese for a table in the back.

“i forgot she could do that,” winwin says to the boys, saddened by the lost prospect of talking about you while you were with them.

you get a table at the back, the boys sit facing the wall side, just so no one would notice them. 

they were surprised that no one had discovered them yet. was going out really that easy?

“i’ll get one of those please, “ you say to the waiter.

“and i’ll get a ramen bowl with shrimp, tofu, green beans and rice.” lucas says with a dazzling smile on his face. 

“um, the tofu and rice are part of a separate meal, so what you ordered would be enough for three people, are you sure you don’t want something else?” 

lucas eyes the waiter definitely not impressed. “i know what i said.” he never blinks once. the waiter gives up with an indignant huff and walks back to relay the orders to the chefs.

“xiaojun what drink did you order?” you question, inspecting his brownish drink.

he triumphantly lifts up his glass and says, “this is pepsi, coca cola, sprite and fanta!”

you vomit in your mouth, that sounds so disgusting. “why... why do drink that?”

“well, i really like all of those drinks and it would be gross to order 4 drinks at once, so one day i thought, hey why don’t i put them together?”

he gestures proudly to his drink. so proud in fact that he lifts it up for you to look at it but instead spills it all over your sweater.

you stand up gasping, “my sweater!”

“oh my gosh im sorry!” xiaojun yells embarrassed.

“do you have a change of clothes or something?” lucas says concerned at your shirt stained brown.

“i could go back to my room, but that’s far and i-”

“miss?” the same waiter says snooping in on the conversation. “we might have something for you in the back?” he gestures past the kitchen and you of course follow him not wanting to sit in a carbonated sweater.

“that sack was ugly anyways” winwin snickers as you leave.

xiaojun and lucas nod, both agreeing.

was this all they had? it wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t what you normally wore when reporting. it was tight and dark blue with buttons. 

you weren’t about to leave your lunch because of three- no, one drink crazy idol.

you walk out and sit back down. they had just brought out your ramen and you start to eat it.

you feel them all staring at you. this wasn’t some movie where you wore a winter color palette and let your hair down and all the guys fall for you.

“you look even worse!” winwin exclaims, not impressed.

“it’s better than the sack” xiaojun shrugs.

“is it?” lucas says looking at xiaojun “is it really?”

“hey im sitting right here,” you say while waving your hands.

they didn’t seem to mind at all.

the rest of  lunch went surprisingly well, lucas ate enough for four people when you decided to give him the rest of your bowl. and the insults at each other became jokes and teasing. 

the boys couldn’t believe it. they were actually enjoying your company. people usually wouldn’t talk bad about idols to their faces, but you really didn’t care. your company was refreshing. 

not to mention the way you looked in the shirt you had to wear. you actually looked pretty not wearing a sack shirt. it was quite surprising.

“we better go back,” you say looking at your wristwatch. “filming starts in under an hour.” 

you look at the boys. they looked like they could stay there forever. they looked so normal and happy like when you had seen them the other night.

“and action!”

“okay!” kun yells at the boys with a giddy smile. “we have to find the ten items we want in 3 minutes, then we’ll choose the dish according to the rules of the game.”

the boys break out into indistinct crazy conversations as the bright lights of the grocery store and camera crew illuminate their foundation padded faces.

you watched admiringly from behind the camera. they were wearing new clothes again, probably some that they’d never wear again. but at least they looked happy, or happier than they had been in restricting suits.

“one two thr-” before kun can finish counting hendery and ten breakout into a run down the grocery store aisles completely ignoring kun’s authority as a leader. you chuckle.

you had to give it to them, they were really funny on camera and entertaining to watch. you understood now why so many people liked them. 

then the camera goes zooming past you as the other boys break away running to find food for the challenge. you scribble down more notes back with the film crew.

the boys were energetic. if there was a more powerful word than energetic i’d use it right now, the boys were driven by the prospect of food and nothing could derail them. they are after all young men. 

“aah!” lucas yells, you gasp, had he hurt himself or fell?

 then you see him run by with three loaves of bread in his hands and at least four cans of beans in his pockets. ten then follows yelling at lucas that he took his beans.

the rest of the grocery store segment had much more chaos and yelling like before. 

 the youngest members teamed up against the oldest and they stole all of their chicken and seaweed. then ten and lucas also sided with the younger members so it was really just them yelling and stealing food items from kun and winwin.

at one point hendery decided to do a back flip down the aisles which ended surprisingly well, but then lucas tried and knocked off a whole shelf of rice which he then had to clean up.

when it was over you hadn't written many notes down because you couldn't draw your eyes away from them. you were inexplicably drawn to them and their personalities. 

you also found them quite entertaining.

“y/n did you write down that i did a back flip!” hendery says out of breath running up to you.

you nod slowly, “i did, good job with that by the way.”

“thanks” hendery says while pushing his sweaty hair out of his face.

��i’ve been practicing on a chair and on my bed and then i just run really fast and do an air somersault. you know?”

you look at him in shock, was he okay?  but then you remembered, no, he’s just a member of wayv. that was reason enough for you.

you took a separate car to the kitchen where the boys were gonna be filming at. it made you sad, you kind of missed their presences, even if it just was them pestering you.

when you finally got to the restaurant they gave you a chair to sit on as you watched them. 

they had the food laid out on the table and they were gonna make scallion pancakes and congee. it was a weird combo but they insisted on making it.

you enjoyed the filming, watching the boys joke around and horribly make food. 

at one point you see one of their managers try to signal at winwin to move. for some reason he wanted winwin on the sides not in the center? 

but winwin didn’t see the gesture, or ignored it. either way he stayed in the middle.

 it was fine by you, the boys looked unconcerned by winwin’s presence so why should it matter.

the show ended with the boys trying to eat their creations but laughing too much and then having to throw it out because it wouldn’t unstick from the pans.

as lucas walks away to get changed he whispers “im glad we ate at lunch because i don’t think that food was even edible.”

you look at lucas who was trying to actually have a nice conversation with you.

“good thing you ate enough for four people,” you joke.

then you look behind lucas’s shoulder to see the manager sternly talking to winwin. winwin looks visibly upset, but the manager wouldn’t stop. it was probably about the incident earlier.

lucas follows your eyes and his face falls. “y/n, don’t.”

but the second the manager stops talking, winwin runs away and you follow. you had to see if he was okay.

lucas doesn’t try to stop you anymore. he just goes and get changed. stuff like this has happened before. what could he do about it?

you follow him. he doesn’t run for much longer and stops, sitting in one of the many dark hallways of the building.

he’s crunched on the ground crying. winwin has always been visibly strong and outgoing. now he’s not.

you don’t know what to say or do so you just sit beside him on the ground, listening to his shallow breathing.

he looks up at you after some time. 

“i should’ve just moved.” 

his eyes were red and wet from crying. that was no way to treat another human being. you couldn't do anything right know, but you wanted to yell and curse at all of the managers at SM.

winwin’s hand was atop his knee and you slowly put your hand on top of his. he stops shaking almost immediately and you just sit there with him.

“i’m afraid they’re gonna get rid of me again.” 

you didn’t know if he was talking to you, or just in general. so you just listened.

“i don’t know what to do anymore.”

 you can hear him  start to cry again.

“why don’t they like me?” 

you wondered how many times the boys have been upset or cried like this. you wondered how many hours or days were spent hating their management. it made you sick.

you grasp winwin’s hand a little tighter. then wipe the tears off of his soft cheeks.

“i like you” you say smiling at him.

“no you don’t” he says through his knees.

“i do. you’re a talented person, and you’re nice. i couldn’t hate you if i wanted too.”

“you’re lying” he says. but then he grips your hand even tighter in the dark hallway and you smile.

when you arrive back to the boys they immediately ask winwin so many questions. they were so concerned about him. 

it made you happy to see people care about other people in such a way.

“thank you.” xiaojun whispers while walking by you. apparently he can give up hating you for a second to thank you. that made you happy too.

after some hugs and hushed words kun approaches you.

“so y/n. we had an idea, can you help us with it?”

“umm, probably? can you tell me what it is?”

kun smiles a short smile in the hallway of the building.

“it has to do with an article, us and our company-”

“i’m in.” you say automatically.

pt. 4

[pbandjesse]

I am real tired. But in a good way. Today was good. James made himself way to stressed over out tub not draining. But we had such a nice weekend and I feel good.

It was real rainy last night. And we listened to a video and the rain and I slept good. Until I woke go and smashed my head on the ceiling. It scared me real bad. And it still hurts honestly. I'm just real glad I didnt like. Start bleeding.

I was able to fall back asleep. And James let me rest until 8. I could hear him and Tam talking. So I got dressed. And soon he was coming in. With willow the dog. Hi willow!!

We had breakfast quesadillas that I liked very much. And he used one of the eggs I picked from the chicken!! It was blue!! Once we finished eating we got some more stuff to the car. They showed me the loft that Tam is going to turn into another camp space. Its real neat.

We fed the chickens. And she gave us an apple peeler I think I can fix. We played with the dog a little more. But then it was time to go. We signed the guest book and hugs all around. She said to come back anytime. And we will take her up on that I'm sure. Cause I really enjoyed this whole thing. It was wonderful.

We left. Stopped so James could get a drink. And we went to s Crystal cave!! The woman was very nice but talked a little fast. I also talk to fast so I'm not mad, it was just funny. James said it was like going on his own tour.

We got there just as they opened so we chilled until another couple came. And then we went down. This was an awesome cave. It was sparkly and we got to get up so close. It was awesome.

My favorite part was when she turned off all the lights. I've never been in that kind of dark. And then as we we're going out we found a frog! And I caught it to take it out to the stream. The tour guide kept calling me princess and that really tied it up nicely.

She suggested another waterfall we could see. So we went to that park. It was as natural as the one yesterday but I still enjoyed going. We saw a salamander and took pictures. And then we left.

We wanted to get lunch but i had no service. So we went to the highway. We ended up going to a small adorable town to go to a hip diner. We had to wait a little and the food took a while but it was very good. And we were both tired but it was so nice to just be together so I didn't mind. We weren't in any rush.

Once we did leave we stopped at a grocery store to get draino to try to fix the shower. And low and behold there was s goodwill right there!! We got James some cute boots and me some jam pants. And then James found a furby rocker! I have never actually seen one in person so that was really cool. And then I found a cute orange 2012! Amazing. I never find furbys in the wild. This was great. I also found another scooter for the kids for $5. Excellent.

We got the draino from the store and I got a donut. And we headed home.

We listened to a podcast. And enjoyed thr scenery. It was a reslly easy ride back. We were home before 330! Amazing!

We unpacked the car and put things away. Once I did a bunch i laid down in the studio for an hour. Helped me feel more settled. Sweetp was very purry. Eventually James tried to make us mac and cheese but it wasnt cooked enough and I was a little sad but James felt real bad. And then the draino didn't work. So he drove all the way to canton to get a drain snake and then it didn't work. So he's real sad and making cornbread. But he'll be okay.

I'm going to go attempt to take a bath. Despite thr very slow draining. Tomorrow we have the morning off and then I have class with my kids. I am looking forward to it. I am not sure if Marcus will be there but I hope he's alright either way. I'll handle it no matter what. I'm feeling a lot better about school so im going to make the positive happen.

I am glad to be home though. I hope you all sleep good tonight. Be safe snd Take care of each other. Goodnight!!

[frywen-babbles]

Sounds of Silence pt2

A/N: TW: mentions of assault/violence

Mitsunari was woken from his studying by a bling from his phone. For a moment he felt irritated but grabbed his phone anyway to check who had bothered to interrupt him.

[18:03:27] << bookshy >> can u talk?

He was thrown back by the question. Usually 'bookshy' just started to talk without knowing if he was online or not. Why the question now?

[18:04:05] << ManjuDreamer >> Yes. What is it?

He stared at his phone, waiting for another message, that didn’t seem to come. He was just about to put his phone down when another bling alerted him.

[18:08:57] << bookshy >> in bad place rn.

He had no idea what to answer, so he just waited for another message.

[18:10:40] << bookshy >> could we meet?

This time he was too surprised to answer. How many times over the years they had known each other he had asked to meet him, only to be turned down over and over again until he stopped asking.

[18:12:24] << bookshy >> sry [18:12:25] << bookshy >> frget what i said [18:12:25] << bookshy >> ttyl

Mitsunari panicked and quickly replied.

[18:12:28] << ManjuDreamer >> no we can meet [18:12:54] << bookshy >> u sure? [18:13:16] << ManjuDreamer >> Yes. Where do you want us to meet?

For a moment Mitsunari thought that ‘bookshy’ had backed out of the meeting when his phone lighted up as another message came.

[18:17:59] << bookshy >> ur place? i promise i b gon as soon as u want [18:18:01] << bookshy >> u dont even have 2 let me in [18:18:05] << bookshy >> plz?

He hesitated for a moment. Why did 'bookshy' suddenly want to come to his place all of a sudden? Wouldn’t it make more sense to meet in somewhere public? Still. They had known each other for years, there was no way someone would keep up appearance for that long if they weren’t who they said they were.

[18:18:52] << ManjuDreamer >> Okay. I’ll send you the address.

He quickly typed his address and waited for an answer.

[18:19:27] << bookshy >> b thr in 45

He looked at the clock. He just had enough time to run to the nearby grocery store to get something to eat before 'bookshy' came. What had he told him he liked? Maybe it would come back to him when he went to the store and could get some of his favourites.

This was going to be so awkward.

Sure he had known 'bookshy' since he was in his early teens. But it was so different talking to someone online than in person. Online you got to know people backwards. Learnt about their interests and hobbies before anything you'd learn from a person you met in real life. Even with 'bookshy' Mitsunari had learnt about his dreams and desires but still knew nearly nothing about his family outside of some trouble he was having with his mother. And he had spoken to him about things he hadn't even dared to talk to Hideyoshi about.

He was just stuffing the last of the sodas into the fridge when he felt the buzzing of his phone in his pocket.

[19:07:32] << bookshy >> im behind ur door [19:07:33] << bookshy >> i thnk

When he opened the door all he could do was stare.

Behind it stood a young woman. A young woman whose cheek was red and swollen and lip split. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless of times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about, who- no never mind that.

She made a hasty bow and looked straight at him, a barely noticeable frown between her brows. The longer he looked at her, the more she fidgeted, changing her weight from one foot to another, her eyes shifting all over his face, but the small polite smile never faltered. She crumbled the fabric of her sleeves in her hands before she reached for her pocket and took her phone.

She quickly typed something and looked at him expectantly. His phone buzzed with a new message and he reached for it confused.

[19:10:01] << bookshy >> its u isnt it

When he looked at her again, she bit her lip so hard it bled, a frown between her brows but she quickly fixed her face blank. Every now and then she glanced nervously at the hallway at the direction of the staircase. She fumbled with her phone again and showed it to him. The same message that was on his phone shone from her screen, blowing away any doubt Mitsunari might have had if she was ‘bookshy’ or not. She typed something on her phone and soon Mitsunari’s phone buzzed again.

[19:11:27] << bookshy >> sry this was bad idea ill go

She turned to leave, but Mitsunari quickly reached for her arm.

“Ah!” she let out a high-pitched yelp and took a quick step away from him, her eyes darting from his hands to his face and back. She fumbled with her phone again, but Mitsunari waved his hand to get her attention.

[19:12:03] << ManjuDreamer >> Come in. Please?

She looked up from her phone at him for reassurance and he stepped aside gesturing for her to step inside. Something was wrong with her. No matter how shocked he was after finding out who bookshy really was, there was no way he could let her leave after seeing the condition she was in. She stepped inside but just awkwardly stood there, glancing around the apartment.

[19:13:04] << ManjuDreamer >> Sit down, I’ll make some tea.

She looked at her phone and sat down at the corner of the sofa. Mitsunari filled the electric kettle, glancing at her every chance he got. Her eyes shifted from him around his apartment and she fidgeted with her phone. Everything about her posture and movements told Mitsunari how nervous she was, despite her face retaining an indifferent expression.

[19:17:45] << ManjuDreamer >> Here’s tea. [19:17:49] << ManjuDreamer >> I’ll be back shortly. Don’t leave.

She looked at her phone and up at him and nodded, reaching for the teacup. Mitsunari had no idea what to do. Was he supposed to ask her what had happened? Why did she come here? Didn’t she have friends or family who she could have turned to?

“Hideyoshi? I need help.” He called the only person he felt he could turn to, as the other person was currently sitting in their living room.

“Sure! What do you need?”

“I… a… friend came over suddenly and-“

“A friend?” Hideyoshi sounded baffled, but Mitsunari just took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

“Yes. A friend. May I continue now?”

“Yeah, sure. A friend came over, why do you need my help in that?” Mitsunari heard some snickering from the background but decided to ignore it.

“… I think someone assaulted them.”

“I see.” Hideyoshi’s tone turned serious immediately and Mitsunari could hear him leaving whoever was laughing at the background. “Do you want me to come home? I’ll be there in a few if you need me?”

“Yes… no… I don’t know? What should I say…?”

“You could always ask… them… what happened?” Mitsunari ignored the pointed emphasis on the word ‘them’ Hideyoshi had made. As far as he was concerned, it was none of Hideyoshi’s business who he invited over. Especially after all the girls Hideyoshi had brought over in the past.

“Yeah…”

“Do they have a safe place to stay?”

“…I don’t know…”

“Why don’t you start with that and I’ll be there in a while, okay?”

“…Yeah…”

When Mitsunari stepped out of his room, she was nowhere in sight. She couldn’t have left, could she? At the state she was in? He was almost out of the door so he could run after her when the bathroom door hit him. She looked at him, her eyes wide, a slight tremor on her lower lip.

‘It’s okay’ Mitsunari signed. She looked at him like he had suddenly grown a second head. Tears just started to roll down her cheeks and she stepped back into the bathroom locking the door after her. He heard something thud against the door and the sobs that followed told him she was probably leaning against the door.

He had no idea what to do. What were you supposed to do when a woman locks herself in your bathroom to cry?

He sat on the floor next to the bathroom door and reached for his phone.

[19:23:49] << ManjuDreamer >> It’s okay to come out.

He heard the buzz of her phone from the living room. Shit, how was he supposed to talk to her now?

A light knock on the door alerted him and he opened the door to find Hideyoshi behind it. For once, he wasn’t smiling.

“Did you talk to your friend already?” he asked, his voice hushed as he peered behind Mitsunari.

“No. I don’t think they want to talk.”

“I could ask if they want to talk to me? I mean… sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stran…ger…” Hideyoshi’s words faded when he heard her blowing her nose through the bathroom door. Both of them stared at the closed door before Hideyoshi finally stepped inside and knocked lightly on the door. “Hey, you okay in there? You know, you’re safe in here. Mitsunari might have a nasty attitude, but he won’t harm you.”

Mitsunari opened his mouth to protest but instead, he sighed and rolled his eyes and walked to his room. The sound of her phone buzzing with new messages was almost drowned by Hideyoshi’s soft voice when he tried to talk to her through the door.

“Here.” He pushed a pen and some paper to Hideyoshi’s hands. Hideyoshi looked at the paper and at the pen before he looked up at Mitsunari.

“What am I supposed to do with these?” he asked.

“The paper should fit under the door.”

“You want me to write to them?”

“Yes. Now get on with it.”

“Uh, okay…” Hideyoshi scribbled quickly something on the paper and pushed it under the bathroom door. After a while, they saw the last corner of the paper disappear. There was a silence until they heard what sounded like digging through their cabinets. Finally, the paper appeared under the door again.

‘ur not manjudreamer who r u’

The words were written with what Mitsunari could only assume was one of his makeup pencils.

“Um, ‘manjudreamer’? Is that-“ Hideyoshi got one glance of the glare Mitsunari was giving him, before he smiled that smile of his when he didn’t want anyone to get into trouble, “Uh, nevermind…” He quickly scribbled another note and showed it to Mitsunari before slipping it under the door.

‘A friend of his. Knock on the door if u want me to leave’

Almost as soon as the note disappeared there was a couple of knocks on the door. Hideyoshi let out a sigh before he smiled.

“I’ll just stay with Inuchiyo next door. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Try not to get buried under all those pizza boxes. And don’t bring any vermin home.”

“Come on, it’s not that-“ Hideyoshi stopped when Mitsunari raised his eyebrow at him and he let out a dejected sigh. “No, never mind. He really needs to fix things with his sister. I’ll pack some things and be gone.” Hideyoshi disappeared in his room leaving Mitsunari standing in the hallway alone. Her phone buzzed again and again with new messages, the constant flow of them starting to annoy Mitsunari a bit. He looked at the bathroom door, wishing it could give him all the answers he needed. Unfortunately, that was not the case. The door, like the person behind it, stayed shut.

“Call if you need anything, okay?” Hideyoshi patted him on the shoulder before he headed to the door. “Oh!” He turned back to Mitsunari, “Your friend can sleep in my room for tonight. I changed the sheets.”

As soon as the door closed after Hideyoshi, Mitsunari wrote another note. He pushed it under the door and like the previous notes, it disappeared from the view shortly. Her phone buzzed with new messages again, its constant buzzing starting to annoy him. Someone was obviously missing her, but he was not going to invade her privacy and see what the messages were about.

Mitsunari raked his hand through his hair and retreated to the living room, turning the TV on. Her phone buzzed again.

How long was she going to stay locked up in the bathroom? What if he needed to use it? Would he have to run to that mutt’s apartment? Even the thought made him shudder but just then the bathroom door opened.

She stepped out, avoiding eye contact and walked slowly to the living room, sitting on the corner of the sofa. She lifted up her phone, but almost dropped it when it immediately buzzed with a new message. She looked at the message. Her eyes widened and all the colour drained from her face and she swallowed hard. She put the phone down and took her teacup, sipping at the lukewarm tea.

[20:23:47] << ManjuDreamer >> Do you have a safe place you can go to?

He waved to get her attention and she put her teacup down to look at her phone and shook her head. This time she couldn’t keep the distress from her face. Her brows were furrowed and her lips pursed, but before Mitsunari could get a good look, she turned her head away as if she was ashamed. She reached her right arm to hug herself, but as soon as she touched her left arm she dropped her hand to her lap over her phone.

[20:24:29] << ManjuDreamer >> Take off your hoodie.

She looked at her phone and her eyes widened. Her eyes shot at him and she took a sharp breath shaking her head, her fingers curling tightly around the fabric of her hoodie. Mitsunari sighed. Why couldn’t she see he was just trying to help? He just wanted to see if she was injured. What she obviously was, considering he had not once seen her use her left arm, not to speak about her cheek that was starting to bruise.

[20:25:28] << ManjuDreamer >> Just take it off.

He wanted to call her insufferable dullard for not getting his point. What did she think he meant? He stood up, reaching for her, but immediately froze. As soon as she saw him move, she jerked away from him, her eyes focusing on his every movement, her face purposefully blank. Every muscle in her body was tense. As if she was expecting him to attack her. Something cold coiled around his stomach and he sat back down, letting his hands fall on his lap.

[20:26:38] << ManjuDreamer >> I need to see your arm. You’re obviously hurt.

She didn’t look at her phone. She kept her eyes on him. Investigating him for any threat.

Who did this to her? Judging from her reaction, this wasn’t the first time and probably wouldn’t be the last. Why hadn’t she mentioned anything about this to him before? They talked almost daily and still, she had kept something like this a secret? Mitsunari felt sick to his stomach.

[20:33:15] << ManjuDreamer >> I see you’re hurt.

This time she looked at her phone when she felt the buzz on her lap. Despite her best efforts on keeping her face impassive, Mitsunari could see the inner battle she was having. Emotions from shame to sadness to anger flashed on her face, but finally, she nodded. She removed her hoodie, trying her hardest only to use her right hand. She didn’t look at him, instead kept her eyes locked on the wall. Her arm was only starting to form bruises, but Mitsunari could imagine come tomorrow, there would be plenty more.

[20:37:40] << ManjuDreamer >> Can you move your arm properly?

She looked down at her phone and shook her head. Mitsunari raked his hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

[20:38:13] << ManjuDreamer >> I need to take you to the ER. I’ll call a taxi.

She looked at her phone and put it down without any acknowledgement if she even saw the message.

The wait for the taxi felt awkward. Both of them just stared at the television without any attempt at conversation until it was time to go. The short drive to the hospital didn’t go any better and finally, they were standing outside of the emergency room. Mitsunari walked to the door, only to notice she wasn’t following. He walked back to her and tried to gesture her to move forward without actually touching her, but she seemed to ignore him.

Finally, Mitsunari reached his hand towards her, palm up. He could feel his face burning up and he turned away from her to hide his blush. He just wanted her to follow him, damn it! Why did she have to make this so difficult? He felt fingers wrap around his hand and when he mustered the courage to look at her, she had the first genuine smile on her face he had seen all day. Just how stupid was she, getting happy about something like this after what she went through.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

"Sabrina You're sitting here all working with billionaires and shit all we don't need donations then in the second breath. My kid used second hand from the thrift store! We was so scared going to the store and we thought it waa a trick to get arrested so we got the whole hood and went together and broke down in no smaller than groups of 5 people in each to make sure we would be alright!"

I'm really proud of that. He was scared. They all were. I probably would been, too. But I, the President, Snoopy, and the news and the military on the street said to. So i would been alright but uneasy probably to go until i got home. So I'm really proud they took time to gather forces and protection to defend themselves if something went down. I think that's smart.

He says when they got home they were whooting and hooting and celebrating but before it was like a secret mission to enter Hell and left the elderly and children at home. And they took NOTES giving permission for them to get goods with a list from the little ones with their ages and names and reason why they wouldn't go "scared" or "my dad said" lol

That was very wise and I'm very proud of that.

Matt wrote that as a suggestion so I wss probably sleeping so im glad he looked out for y'all.

Matt said he thought like me, filled up all thr bases then filled in the sidelines so no one could get to center field and catch the pitcher. Cause i taught him war like baseball. Every single person on the planet is our pitchers and the bases and sidelines is us or our plans that stand in for us where we can't be there physically to defend so we have to use what can be consisted of legalization.

Paperwork isn't quite legal from an 8 year old. Because they have to be 18. But a 16 year old can legally work. And a document in a child's hand writing stating i am participating but i have a handicap and should not be excluded from the event gives a voice to an important person.

I was 2 when I became important and working on my own for free. A baby's cry is legal and bruises are, too. Legal enough for a child to go to foster care. So dam right take a document from a child to support and care for the child the way the child wants. Better than how i buy groceries or gifts! Surprise! This is dinner!

Usually my kid is happy tho. Because i listen. Sometimes i mess up but.

But yeah my kid was solely raised on thrift store goods. The only brand new items we had were gifts, diapers, wipes, her bouncer (factory 2u), stroller (Sears), breast pump (Wal-Mart) and bottles and nipples (mixed).

Clothes she didn't get new until she was a toddler and they came from Wal-Mart or factory to you.

I did get her a little fold up sofa new when she was about 9 months and a table and set of 4 chairs when she was one and then later at 4 a kitchen. And all the time Happy Meal toys like 4 times a week.

And now for Christmas she got 4 t-shirts ($80), 2 used books ($7 total), 9 bath bombs ($10) and the Harry Potter wands ($50) so literally less than $150.

There's been Christmas where she has got $1,000 of stuff when i was married with 2 incomes. But i can't work and I only get child support and food stamps. So i started in November and ended on Dec 23.

Usually i start in October. But.. As i get older it starts later..

And she knows, too

New games are from Amazon or eBay used to save money. Sometimes i can get a digital code and have it instantly and if its like just a few bucks more or she been asking a long time ill get it.

Oh and she did get a Christmas sweater i gave her in the beginning of December that was $30 but she doesn't ask for a lot So i got just exactly what she asked and it looked worth $30 on her.

She wanted a coloring book and pajama pants which i didn't get to. But i told her after Christmas. And she's also used to that.

Sometimes it's really the thought that counts. ;)

But definitely yeah. I know Oklahoma couldn't buy online or have things shipped in. But i was happy for them to have shopping sprees.

I was happy i was able to afford my daughter's gifts. Although she didn't get everything she wanted. She got what she wanted and an extra t-shirt that she likes and 2 extra books she was surprised with. And 10 bath bombs when we ran out like a month ago amd only bought one here and there, that's a smile.

I got my Uncle Dad a bunch of little bottles of hot sauce all wrapped in brown paper and bundled together to look like TNT. Little Chris the same box of soft mints he got last year and 2 lighters. Denise white chocolate covered walnuts and Nathaniel caramel M&Ms a big $3 bag. So $25

When used to would be $75 on uncle dad. $35-50 on Denise and then $20-30 on the brothers.

So it's like they appreciate it or i can give nothing is my thought. Usually i do Do better for Nathaniel and Denise but ... I found put who they are so not this year, usually i spend like $10-15 on energy drinks for him. And her a box of Whitman's chocolates.

This year once again I found myself at the register forgetting their shit again, so i just got what was stocked down there. Instead of going back and making an effort.

Then Denise went with my Aunt Cousin Georgia to a foster kid thing and brought home gifts and so I'm just giving them to my kid with some added chocolate covered cashews and eyeliner from Rimmel that was on sale for $3.50. It has nice shit. A makeup bag and a $40 bracelet from Kohls and other makeup in a stocking and some kitten plates. I took the cotton pads for my nail polish removing and the Revlon nail files since she chews. So when she wakes up she will get her "Santa gift" which is actually really a Santa gift. lol

So even I am using free stuff to give my kid.

So there's no shame or anything to hide.

I spend as Much as I can on my kid. Just now I have less to spend.

And I didn't want to ask anyone to get her any thing. Like Denise although i almost did ask her to get a few Harry Potter wands because they were on my mind.

Christmas i think is about that dumb spending of money .... Thats just fun. So while she got books and baths and clothes... She needed that "dumb" fun. Its a child's Christmas right.

And so we are all happy and proud of that. :)

[vizkopa]

Celestial (FallenAngel!Doflamingo x Reader) CHAPTER 2

Chapter 2: Morning Star ~

You opened your eyes to the warm spring sunshine of Saturday morning and, for just a moment, you forgot all about the events of the previous night. It was a morning like any other, birds singing in the forest, a light breeze jostling the boughs. But as you lay there, staring at the patterns the sunlight made on the ceiling, you felt the creeping sense that something was not quite right—a feeling that only comes from living alone for so many years. You felt a presence in the house that could not be ignored. With a groan of protest, you heaved yourself out of bed. A quick glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand told you you’d overslept—not surprising considering the night you’d had. It was starting to come back to you now. Your gaze shifted from the red LED numbers to the handgun perched on the stand, proof that it all hadn’t all been just a dream. In the guest room downstairs, beneath your very feet, was the man you had seen fall from the stars. You dressed quickly, tucking the pistol into the waistband of your jeans at the small of your back, and stumbled downstairs. Cautiously, you peered into the guest room. The stranger was still sleeping deeply. It seemed as though he hadn’t even moved an inch during the night. If you looked closely, you could see his chest rise and fall ever so slightly in a steady rhythm, but at first glance he could easily have been dead.

As you watched him, you pondered what to do. The man had no clothes, no identification and no distinguishing features. You could call the police, lie about where he came from and hand him over to them. He’d be out of your hair, simple as that, and if he turned out to be dangerous, you’d know you made the right choice. But if he didn’t then you’d be condemning an innocent man to ending up just another John Doe in the hospital. And if he really did come from the stars, a John Doe was all he’d ever be to them. No. You’d wait for now. If he really was what you suspected him to be, he would probably thank you for not delivering him straight into the hands of doctors and scientists who would only use him to satisfy their own curiosities. And if he was dangerous? Well… You only hoped a bullet was enough to stop him. As quietly as you could, you approached the side of the bed. You checked his pulse—still strong and steady—before rolling him carefully onto his side to check his bandages. There were a few spots of blood here and there, but for the most part, they were clean. Frowning, you pulled back part of the dressing and gasped at what you found. He appeared to have miraculously healed overnight. The new skin was till red and raw, and the resulting scars would not be pretty, but the wounds looked as if they had been there for weeks rather than mere hours. Had you simply imagined all the blood, the bone, the broken feathers? You returned him to his previous position and took a long step backwards. He hadn’t stirred once, eyes still shut tight and oblivious to the world. Things were getting stranger by the minute and you were finding it increasingly difficult not to believe you were stuck in some crazy dream you couldn’t wake up from. You let out a shaky breath and rubbed your eyes. You needed coffee. ASAP. You found the pot still full from the night before. It had long gone cold, of course, but you weren’t about to waste an entire pot. You poured yourself a mug and nuked it in the microwave for a minute, adding a splash of milk to try and mask the bitterness, but it still brought a grimace to your face. Bitter coffee and an unconscious stranger in your guest room was not how you imagined kicking off your weekend. In an effort to bring some sense of normalcy to the morning, you retrieved your laptop from upstairs (the battery was drained from leaving it switched on by your telescope the whole night) and decided to get a head start on grading your latest batch of papers. You found yourself having difficulty focusing, your mind wandering to the man in the next room. Surely, he couldn’t be what you thought he was… could he? Curiosity burning, you opened a new tab in your browser and typed the word ‘angels’ into the search engine. You selected the first result and began to read. Words jumped out at you: ‘benevolent’, ‘guardian spirits’, ‘purity’, ‘selflessness’. It all sounded like idealistic nonsense to you, but maybe... After a moment’s thought, you changed your search slightly and you felt your blood chill as you skimmed the new information. ’A fallen angel is a wicked or rebellious angel that has been cast out of heaven. The term “fallen angel” …is used of angels who sinned …of angels cast down to the earth in the War in Heaven, of Satan, demons, or of certain Watchers.’ You glanced up frightfully at the door to the guest room, as if the stranger would suddenly wake and prove all the words you had just read to be true. But, of course, nothing of the sort happened. No. There had to be a logical explanation. You’d much sooner believe he was extra-terrestrial than some all-powerful celestial being from a book you never took much stock in. For all you knew, he could be just a man and this was just a misunderstanding. Hell, maybe this was all just one big prank. Anything was more likely than an angel crash landing in your garden. You shook your head, appalled at yourself, and closed the tab. This wasn’t like you. You dealt in fact, in your own senses, in science. It was illogical to come to a conclusion without first gathering all the evidence, and your key witness had yet to take the stand. But were you prepared for the possibility that everything you knew, everything you believed in was wrong? That night you slept fitfully, your dreams plagued by the sound of great wings, and the stench of burnt feathers and blood. The remainder of the weekend passed uneventfully. The man slept through Saturday night and Sunday morning with no signs of stirring. Loathe as you were to leave him alone in case he finally did wake, your fridge and pantry were getting dangerously close to empty. You decided you could risk a trip to the grocery store. Half an hour, tops. You took one last peek into the guest room to make sure Sleeping Beauty was where you’d left him, before snatching up your keys and rushing out the door. Thanks to the quiet Sunday afternoon roads, you made the round trip in twenty minutes. When you got home, you set down your shopping bags in the kitchen then, out of habit, went to check on the stranger. You had grown so used to seeing his sleeping form in the last two days that you almost turned around and left the room before your brain registered that this time he was not where he should be. The bed was empty. The covers had been thrown back hastily, and the sheets still held the impression of his body where it had lain only minutes before. You touched them. Still warm… He couldn’t have been awake for long. You had noticed nothing amiss when you’d returned from the store. The front door had been locked, and the back door bolted from the inside, just as you’d left them. The guest room window that opened onto the back yard was still shut tight, and a strong, crisp breeze had been blowing all day so you would have felt it if any other window in the house had been left open. It all led you to only one conclusion: he was still in the house. You whirled around, hand hovering by the grip of the handgun concealed at your back, but before you could free it, a body slammed into you, pushing you roughly against the wall. Your head cracked painfully against the drywall and you saw stars for a moment. The breath had been knocked from your lungs but before you could recover it, a large hand enclosed around your throat. Dazed, you looked up into the face of your assailant for the first time. You gasped as your eyes met his. They were a stunning, clear electric blue—impossible and inhuman. They were eyes that had seen millennia, that spoke of intelligence far beyond your own. They were the most exquisite eyes you had ever seen, but you only had a moment to admire them before the hand around your throat tightened harshly. The man glared down at you, teeth bared in a grimace. “Where am I?” You gasped for breath, fingers clawing uselessly at the iron grip crushing your windpipe. The edges of your vision were already beginning to turn black. The man snarled and loosened his hold slightly. “Speak!” “Starfall, Oregon,” you managed to croak out. “Why am I here? What have you done to me?” “You fell. I found you.” “Where?” “Forest.” He glanced over his shoulder and out the window to where the dark shadow of the tree line encroached on your back yard. He turned back to you. “How long ago?” “Two days.” He cursed, rage crossing his features for a split second before composing himself. “Show me.” You forced yourself to hold his gaze, heart beating wildly against your ribs. “Say please.” You felt a small swell of pride at your ability to keep your voice from shaking as you spoke the words. He seemed taken aback for a moment, then scowled. “Do you know who I am?” “I have my suspicions.” “Then you know you’re expendable to me. I can kill you in a heartbeat.” “So can I.” He froze at the resounding metallic click and looked down to find the barrel of your .45 pointed straight at his heart. The pressure on your throat lessened and you gulped down a lungful of precious air, but he still had you pinned to the wall. “So you at least know what this does.” He eyed the pistol warily. “I’ve seen what they can do,” he snarled. “Humans and their toys, do you really think you can kill me with that?” “If you’re so confident, why are you afraid of it?” He hesitated, the vein in his forehead pulsing with each second that ticked by. He growled in frustration and pulled back abruptly, finally releasing you from his grip. You slumped against the wall, blinking away tears of relief, and glowered up at him. You lifted a hand to your throat to massage the tender flesh, cringing as you felt the bruises already beginning to blossom there. “I thought angels were supposed to protect people.” He scowled. “We are warriors of the Lord, not babysitters.” “Guess that got lost in translation somewhere.” He watched you warily as you caught your breath, those impossible eyes fixed on the gun. You kept it levelled at him, willing your hands to stop trembling. Your father taught you long ago how to shoot at painted targets and old tin cans. It was a whole other story when you were aiming at flesh and bone. “Take me to where I fell.” You shot him a glare and he returned it. The two of your stared each other down for a moment before he gave in and rolled his eyes. “Please,” he finished and you almost laughed at the absurdity of it. “Why should I help you? You haven’t exactly done anything to deserve it.” The vein in his forehead throbbed. Maybe it was a bad idea to piss off someone who could probably snap your neck with two fingers. But hey, if he was going to kill you anyway, you might as well go down swinging. “Because the sooner I get there, the sooner I can leave and I never have to lay eyes on you again.” “Now you’re speaking my language. Fine. But you need to put on some clothes first.” In all the excitement, it had only just occurred to you that stranger before you was still very much naked. As if the day couldn’t get any worse. “If I never have to lay eyes on this again,” you gestured vaguely to his nether regions, determinedly keeping your eyes above his waist. Still, you couldn’t fight the blush slowly spreading across your cheeks. “I’ll be glad for it.” For a moment, he looked as if he was about to retort but changed his mind, closing his mouth and choosing instead to fume in silence while you made your way to the dresser across the room. Watching him carefully from the corner of your eye, you rummaged in the drawers and pulled out a pair of pants and a button down shirt that had belonged to an old boyfriend of yours. You tossed them to him and he caught them deftly in one hand, looking down at them in distaste. “They might be a little small, but they’ll do. Hurry up and get dressed, I’ll wait in the kitchen.” As soon as you were out of the room, you felt your legs begin to shake. They carried you as far as the dining table before they collapsed from under you and you sat down heavily in the seat. You set the gun down on the table away from your trembling hands. You wanted to cry. But you wouldn’t. You refused to show that man any shred of weakness. You’d somehow managed to convince him that killing you was too much trouble and you needed to keep it that way. And when he was finally out of your life and this all seemed like just a passing dream, then you could cry. Please, God, let this be over quickly, you prayed silently. Then you laughed at the irony of it all. Maybe God was punishing you being a non-believer. This was certainly a rude awakening to his existence. “Why are you laughing?” Your head snapped up at the voice. The stranger was watching you from the doorway with contempt, his shoulders stiff as he stood awkwardly in his new clothes. As predicted, the ends of the pants stopped well above his ankles and evidently he didn’t even attempt to button the shirt given how tight it already was around his broad shoulders. But it was far better than staring at his junk all night. “No reason,” you said all too quickly, jumping to your feet and reaching once more for the pistol. It’s cool weight against your palm seemed to have a calming effect and your trembling subsided. Regaining your former composure, you glared up at the man. “Let’s go. You first.” You gestured with the barrel to the back door and followed him through it into the orange light of the setting sun. “Straight ahead,” you said as the two of you reached the edge of the trees. You kept your eyes trained on him, gun at the ready. You had yet to turn off the safety, but he didn’t need to know that. His feet made no noise on the forest floor as he walked. It only made you more aware of your own footfalls, cringing at every snapped twig and crushed leaf as the noise seemed to be magnified tenfold in the secluded space. It was then that you noticed everything else was silent as well. No birds sang and not even a breeze rustled the tips of the trees, as if they were all holding their breath in the presence of this being. Whether it was out of awe or fear, you couldn’t be sure. You knew you had reached the clearing when he stopped abruptly in front of you, almost causing you to walk right into him. “Wait here,” he said and you nodded silently, watching wide-eyed as he approached the crater. What exactly was he hoping to accomplish? Were they just going to beam him back up into the sky? A moment later, you heard his voice ring out through the clearing. “Father!” Silence. “Father, why have you forsaken me!” No reply came. Not that you had been expecting any. What was he waiting for, a disembodied voice from the sky? Like The Lion King? “You would cast out your own son?” He stumbled forward, face upturned to the sky. You could see the despair in his gait, in the way his clenched fists fell limp at his sides. “You would leave him to rot here, amongst the dirt and worms and filth?” Dead silence. Not even a whisper on the breeze. At the centre of the crater he fell to his hands and knees, fingers curling in the blackened soil. He raised one hand up to his face and in his grip he held a single, singed feather. He began to shake, the feather crumbling to dust in his fist, and he raised his head and let out an anguished cry to the heavens. You jumped in fright and lifted your gun as a flock of birds shot out of the trees and took to the sky at the sound. He sounded like a madman, a wounded animal in its last throes of life, and in that moment your heart ached for him. When his lungs were empty, he fell silent and hung his head. He was still for a long time, but your dared not take your eyes off him and you kept your gun trained on his back. “You can put that away; I’m not going to hurt you.” You hesitated at his words. His tone was one of a defeated man, shoulders slumped and head bowed. But your throat still burned with the imprint of his fingers from earlier. “Not until I get some answers.” He was silent for a long time. You couldn’t see his face, but you could see the muscles of his jaw work as he clenched his teeth. “Fine,” he said finally. “But not here.” He got to his feet and turned to you, a look of resentment on his face. You gestured toward the house with the barrel of the gun. “Then lead the way.” He scowled, eyeing you with a look that could only be disgust. But he complied. You were the one with the firearm after all. As you followed him back to the house, you couldn’t help but think how absurd it was, holding an angel at gunpoint. You were probably going to hell for this.

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

[superultrachicken]

My family day weekend with my father

I always regret coming down here.

So... it started with the drive down after he came to pick me. We recently started actually doing productions at my school and we got our roles.

We stopped for dinner (I ate at home because it was just some really high grade steak). I mentioned the roles I was given and started talking a bit about them before my dad tried to comfort me by saying I'll get the role I want next time. And I kind of just clenched my frustration with my teeth because I hoped that this might have made my career path a bit more real in his mind, and that he might visibly be proud of me, ir at least said "I'm proud of you". But no, instead of being proud that his son is gaining experience in an industry, he's just comforting me like I lost some small time sports competition that I didn't care about.

I'm working on a short film that'll be shown at festivals by the way. As both a locations manager and a script supervisor. (That's all I can tell you so far though).

So... frustrated that my father won't be proud of me until I'm a creative on a successful film (a visible creative, so not the editor), I opt to change the subject.

But... we can't talk about...

-Film because I "pay too much attention" while watching them;

-Gaming because he's annoyed that my younger brother spends all his time playing video games;

-Sports because I don't watch them;

-D&D because he thinks that the only viable social pass time is going to the bar or drinking around the fire;

-Or work because work is just the same old thing with nothing changing;

I was lucky that there was a mild snow fog on Friday and we live in west central Canada (it gets dark at around 6) because he needed to keep is full attention on the road so I could just play Breath of the Wild on my Switch.

I get there and we just kind of sit around for a few hours before going to bed.

The bed is the worst part of coming down here. It's just this old futon with a with bedding on it and any adult sleeping on it will experience discomfort and back problems for the next few days. It has buttons thst dig into you as you sleep too and the chain thr living room is more comfortable. On the upside, my usual bed feels amazing to sleep on after using this one for only 3 days.

The saving grace of the weekend was seeing my uncle, whom I can talk about anime and video games with, and even brag about my vocaloid concert experience to. He's kind and a political fence sitter like me. It was really nice spending time with him. I also got to see my younger cousin (from another uncle) whom I could talk about visual novels and D&D with. Overall, seeing the other family was pretty nice.

But then they left and my dad decided we needed to have a conversation about immigrants (which is ironic because he is one), and the conversation went downhill really fast with his comments on people from the Philipines. We ended the convo on an "agree to disagree" situation because I need to get home tomorrow.

And then there was his behavior at the grocery store today, acting agressive and irrational because of the crowds (he's 47) as well as my younger brother's comments at a female MP leaving the British parliment. I lost my temper because the comments about 2018 being "the year of over-offense" were really grating on my neverse this weekend.

I leave tomorrow. I'll be walking around my dad's town becsuse the town itself is a nice place with nice people. I'll be glad to go home.

----

TL;DR - I had a shit weekend at my dad's house, much like every other time I've come here.

Something additional:

When I told my stepdad that I'd gotten my roles it made my entrance into the film industry real for him. He was visibly proud of me, and he makes sure to tell me that he's happy to know me quite often.

My stepdad is actively a better father than my real dad.

The rest of my reading weeking is going to be spent working, and I'm happy about that.

[iamnotthedog]

ST. LOUIS: FALL 1999

Once I graduated from high school, I had been reading road books and travelogues pretty much exclusively for quite a while. After I read On the Road at Jim’s place, I caught the travel bug, and read Celine’s Journey to the End of the Night, Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Tom Wolfe’s The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, Bashō’s Narrow Road to the Deep North and Other Travel Sketches, and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which came at the suggestion of Mrs. Frame, who really knew me better than just about anyone at the time. Those books all lit a fire under me, and I couldn’t wait to get out of Morrison and experience more of the world, as well as a whole new life out from under my parents’ roof.

I wanted to travel more than anything, but I was determined to go to college first, and I sort of ended up fucking that whole thing up, to be completely honest. I mean, it wasn’t bad or anything, it just isn’t what I should have been doing. I got accepted to a writing program at a private school called Webster University.1 Webster’s a nice school and all, I just say that I fucked up because of all the places in the world that I could have gone after finally getting out of Morrison, I ended up in a suburb of St. Louis, which isn’t exactly the most exciting place in the world. I mainly ended up there because I was lazy with the whole “preparing for college” thing, and I hadn’t even applied anywhere else.

All that aside, I was excited to meet some new people when I arrived at Webster for the first time—as most college freshmen are. But then my first roommate in the dorms at Webster was a total dick. His name was Brett or Brent, and he was one of the several people on my floor who had barely even put their suitcases down before they started complaining that Webster University was too small, and threatening to transfer to UMSL (“threatening,” as though any of us would actually care if they left), where they could live downtown and go to football games and frat parties and chug beer out of holes punched into the sides of cans and maybe even videotape themselves fucking somebody.

That wasn’t my scene. Sleepy Webster Groves with its narrow tree-lined streets and long-haired, grey-bearded writing professors was more up my alley. And after about a week in the dorms, I managed to find a few like-minded people to spend some time with. I met the friend I would eventually end up taking to California with me—John—and John’s roommate and lifelong companion (at least up to that point), Marc.

I was walking down the hall completely aimlessly one afternoon when I heard Bob Dylan crooning through a door that was open a crack, and I smelled incense, so I gave a little knock. John came to the door and peeped out at me with his red eyes, his long brown caveman hair and unshaven chin. He was wearing a tie-dyed t-shirt with a stretched out collar, and baggy sweatpants with a bunch of pockets on the legs. And he was barefoot. He looked at me skeptically, furrowing his brow. “Yes?” he said.

“Hey,” I said, awkwardly. “Uh...what’s going on?”

He opened the door a little wider. Marc was behind him, sitting on a futon with long red hair flowing down over his pale, shirtless torso and a fuckin’ three-foot tall glass bong in his lap. He lifted a lighter in a sort of wave.

“Nothing much,” John said. He kind of tilted his head to the side a little and looked into my eyes. He still looked skeptical.

I stuck a finger in the air in an attempt at pointing at the music playing, as people do. “Blonde on Blonde,” I said. I wasn’t exactly sure how to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish. Then I saw a couple guitars in the corner of the room, back behind Marc. “You guys play? I can play pretty much this whole album.”

That seemed to work, for whatever reason.

“C’mon in,” John said.

John and Marc lived in their own little hippie heaven there in the dorms. Their walls were plastered with tapestries and black light posters and pictures of Led Zeppelin and the Doors and Jimi Hendrix and the Grateful Dead. They always had incense burning and music on the stereo. They would sleep to some of the weirdest shit, too. If you walked by their room late any night—say you were stoned and wandering down the hallway to hit up the vending machines for a Snickers or whatever—you could often hear some Miles Davis piping out through their door. It was the weird Miles, too. Not Kind of Blue Miles, but Bitches Brew or sometimes even On the Corner Miles. Even being a huge Miles Davis fan, as I was at the time (and still am), I couldn’t understand how anyone could actually fall asleep to On the Corner.

After I started hanging out with John and Marc, I ended up spending a hell of a lot more time in their room then my own. The amount of drugs those two smoked was comical. They would literally wake up in the morning and smoke opium. Opium! At, like, nine o’clock in the goddamned morning. Then they would go back to sleep for a couple hours, wake up, and smoke some weed to start their day.

John and Marc were great for me, though—at least at the start—because they were from St. Louis. Born and raised. They were the first people to take me out on the town and show me around. They showed me where to buy my weed—which was actually pretty hilarious, because they got all their shit from a fat black dude named Q who worked in the drive-thru of a local Steak ‘n Shake—and they took me to see shows at the local venues, and they’d drive me out to Marc’s parents house in the outer ‘burbs, which was huge.2 We’d have parties out there whenever Marc’s parents were out of town, which was actually quite a bit because they were getting ready to move down south somewhere, and were always going down there to look at property.

The thing was, though, that after a while John and Marc’s circle of high school buddies that were always hanging around started to wear on me a little—I mentioned that earlier. They had all that history together—all those inside jokes and anecdotes and all that loyalty that seems really nice at first, but really ends up making people lazy and afraid of change after a while. I started to feel like I had actually never left high school myself. So I started seeking out other circles with which to insert myself. These guys who came around to Marc and John’s room every once in a while to score some weed were pretty laid back, and they lived on the floor above us. Their names were Phil and Isaac. Phil was a California boy who had grown up in Salinas, on the Pacific coast, which prompted all of us who had never travelled west and had our ultra-idealized fantasies of California in our heads to ask him why the hell he had come to the Midwest. (His mother worked for the university and got him a really good deal on tuition, or something like that). As for Isaac, he was a classic cinephile type, born and raised in St. Louis, and he resembled the Dude from The Big Lebowski—always stoned, always in sweatpants. He even drank White Russians almost exclusively.

Anyway, I started hanging out with Phil and Isaac more, and Phil and I totally hit it off. He needed a roommate, as his previous roommate was not unlike Brett or Brent—one of those jock types who decided that he needed to drop out of Webster and go to a school with a fraternity and more “loose chicks.” So I said sayonara to Brett or Brent, and I moved into Phil’s room.

Phil was a handsome kid with a neatly trimmed goatee, a friendly smile, and a southern California sense of style. He and I started cruising around together in his tricked out BMW with black lights under the dash, flashy rims, and a lowered suspension. I was at the height of my adolescent kleptomania at the time, and when I got off work at this little deli I had been rolling burritos for, Phil would pick me up and I’d go steal us a big bottle of good liquor from the local big-box grocery store down the street, Schnucks.3 We’d bring the bottle back to the dorms and have some drinks with a joint or two before hitting up some of the other kids on the floor, seeing if they wanted to go drive around and find some shit to get into.

It was around then that I met Leah.

Leah lived right down the hallway from Phil and I, along with her friend, Lilith. Lilith and Leah were both into a lot of the same music as I was, and they were down to party pretty much whenever Phil and I were. The first time Leah came around to my room alone, I was probably listening to some Bob Marley or something cliché like that and working on a paper for one of my classes, and she came in wearing this tight tube top without a bra. She totally took me off guard.

“Hey,” she said, leaning on the doorframe in the open door. I looked at her tube top, her pale, flat stomach, then quickly caught myself, shifting my gaze up to her eyes and smiling.

“What’s going on?” I stammered. “What...uh...what are you doing?”

I had already thought Leah was cool and everything—she was hyper smart, funny, and had great taste in music and books and all that—but after that entrance—after she stood right there next to me and leaned over me and asked about my paper, with her nipples in my face and her sweet breath surrounding me—well, after that she had my attention pretty much all the time. Then one night, we were alone in her room listening to records, and she asked me to give her a massage. She slipped my hand down between her legs and put her hand between mine, and then she got me up into her bed and unbuttoned my jeans and slipped off her shorts and took my virginity. Just like that. It took all of three minutes, tops. I made some excuse that she was way too good and that my last girl had been a dead fish, but in all honesty, I had never even come close to getting laid in high school. My high school experience, as I mentioned earlier, had been nothing but one long dry hump.

So after that night, Leah and I were pretty much attached at the hip for the next few weeks. She was all I needed, really. But we weren’t even one month into our relationship before the honeymoon ended—as they do—and things got real.

It turned out that Leah was clinically depressed. She managed to hide it from me for our first few weeks together, but then she just couldn’t do it any more. It started to show itself—mostly in her retreating to her room, turning the lights off, and refusing to come out for anything.

It always happened the same way. A couple weeks into the semester, Leah had moved out of the dorms to the university apartments where kids with rich parents could afford to live. I’d go over there and Leah would turn off the television. We’d sit on her couch and smoke a bowl. I’d put a record on. She’d walk to the kitchen, right there in the same room, and put on a pot of water for tea. Then she’d come back over to me, stripping some of her clothes off, and we’d mess around a little, go into her bedroom for a while, and then take a nap or shower. Then we’d be talking and thinking about going out and finding Phil or Lilith or something and she’d turn off. Like someone pulled a plug.

And those were the good nights. On the bad nights the plug would get pulled far earlier. Sometimes before I even got over to her apartment. Sometimes I’d be walking around the black asphalt parking lot on that white cement sidewalk around those neatly trimmed bushes by the hot tub that Phil and I used to break into after hours, and I’d be all excited to see my girl, and then I’d look up at her window and see that it was dark and the shades were drawn. After a while I learned to not even try knocking when that was the case. She’d be in her huge bed with her thick white down comforter up over her head, and she wouldn’t come to the door for anyone.

On those nights, I would get so down on everything that I would avoid everyone and leave campus altogether. I’d walk for hours down Big Bend Boulevard, through Richmond Heights, and sometimes all the way through Forest Park to the Central West End—a good twelve miles round trip. I would just walk and maybe smoke some weed, and I’d think of all those travel books and all my favorite characters, and I’d think about how as soon as I just couldn’t take school anymore—as soon as I started to get bored with everything—I’d just get up and leave. I thought about how I had to do that at some point—how I had to do it while I was still young, before the university life managed to scoop up whatever was left of my spirit and funnel me into the downward spiral of some sort of career pursuit or another. What was I in school for writing for, anyway? Screw being taught an art, I wanted to turn myself into art—make myself into the project I would work on for the rest of my life.

I would think about all that while walking and seeing the city at night—piece by piece, building by building—and I loved those walks, even if the part of the city I was walking through was just boring ol’ Richmond Heights. Back on campus, though, I have to admit that I’d always walk by Leah’s place before walking back to the dorms. Sometimes her light would be on, and I’d go over there and we’d run our whole routine, just a few hours later than usual. Other times, though, she wouldn’t even come to the door. And sadly enough, thinking back on all that now that I am more than a dozen years removed from the situation, that depression is still what I remember most about Leah—the way it would consume her, over and over again.

 Webster University is named after the place in which it resides—a mellow, inner-ring suburb of St. Louis called Webster Groves. It’s got a nice campus, with lots of old buildings and trees—some nuns founded it as a Catholic women’s college in 1915 before the first male students were admitted in 1962. ↩︎

 When Marc’s parents finally sold the house, they ended up selling it to some hot shot rookie for the St. Louis Cardinals. ↩︎

 When I say I was “at the height of my adolescent kleptomania,” what I mean is that it was pretty bad right around then. I would have never stolen from an individual person, or from a mom and pop sort of store, but big box department stores and grocery chains were like all-you-can-eat buffets to me. Nothing was off limits. I actually used to go into department stores in the mall or wherever and take like five t-shirts into the dressing room, put ‘em all on, then put my own shirt on over ‘em, cover up with a jacket or a hooded sweatshirt, and walk right the fuck out. I’d never have the balls to do that sort of thing nowadays. ↩︎