#i just finished mopping*
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bethanydelleman · 3 months ago
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I just learned yesterday that watermelons could explode when overripe and then today one exploded in my kitchen. So I guess I'll never learn anything new ever again just to be safe.
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songthursh · 1 year ago
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A very, VERY basic doctors argument
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ariinurl · 8 months ago
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I shall introduce you to his very VERY evil friend!
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breadandblankets · 8 months ago
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part 1
"Imma be real for a second," Duke said. "I'm fuckin starving."
"That's understandable," Spoiler responds. "Crime fighting is hungry work."
"True that," Duke sighs. "Batman makes us carry cash you want noodles?"
"If you're paying then of course I do," Spoiler responds easily. "You know any good places?
The thing about Steph, is that a lot of people underestimate her. Even other bats, who should really know better, seem to do it all the time. Duke privately thinks that its because she's funny and upbeat that people will just let her fade into the background as a dumb blonde.
People do this to Duke sometimes, other heroes, other bats, they'll just let him become white noise.
He wears bright yellow for fuck's sake.
Unfortunately for this Steph, future Steph and Duke spend a lot of hours together, and he knows what she's like when she is on the hunt.
Duke knows the protocols for time travel, he knows the protocols for dimension travel. Duke also knows that he's tired and starving and going to have to track down whatever Turbo Emo version of Batman is out there.
"The future."
"Weird name for a noodle place," Spoiler mutters, the lenses in her mask drawing in together.
"Not a noodle place," Duke belatedly realizing that he just completely blurted that out. "The answer to your question."
Spoiler crosses her arms.
"The question was about noodle places."
"The other question," Duke gestures vaguely at Spoilers brain, because that was so helpful wasn't it. "The one you didn't ask."
"Oh," Spoiler says about as lamely as Duke feels right about now. "OH! Damnit I was betting on dimension travel."
Duke raises an eyebrow under his helmet.
"Dimension travel?"
"Yeah like maybe you're a happy universe' Batman," Spoiler says, her body language loosening into typical Steph. "Or wait..."
Spoiler gasps, leaning into whisper: "Are you Evil Batman?"
Duke barely doesn't burst out laughing.
Barely.
"Like do you bring presents and joy?" Spoiler continues, conspiratorially.
Duke breaks into helpless giggles.
"Santa?" Duke practically shouts through his laughter. "Evil Batman to you is Santa??"
"Am I Wrong????"
Duke laughs even harder. Spoiler politely gives him time to collect himself.
"I've met both and so I can tell you, yes."
"Wait, wait hold on," Spoiler waves her hands as if to dispel the previous conversation. "Santa is real?"
"Yes," Duke says gravely.
"Wow," Spoiler blinks blankly at the sky for a couple seconds. "That is going to need a lot of processing."
"I think crises are best had over noodles don't you think?"
Steph's head whips back around.
"Fuck yeah lets go!"
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shitpostingkats · 1 year ago
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Ai looked at Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and said, "If I created a strange science child, I would simply support their interests. RIP to Victor but I'm different."
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kedreeva · 2 years ago
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I've been cleaning all day, I think you should get up and do a chore, too. we're in this together.
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rigginsstreet · 7 months ago
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Yorkies are the most petulant spiteful dogs
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alackofghosts · 5 months ago
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ok i've got this one evening. i can get through 6.4 and 6.5 right? right???
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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 1 year ago
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our tree fell over merry christmas ! [Breakdances]
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curioscurio · 1 year ago
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Yooooo you worked at Michaels too?
(Ex-Framing department employee here)
YEA LETS GO EX-FRAMING DEPARTMENT they never even got around to teaching me production it was all wrapping and taking orders :/ Idk how it is at other shops but we only had 3 people working the whole frame shop. One person did ALL the frame assembly and us other two handled everything else. Was absolutely not worth $11/hr. man fuck retail. FUCK Design Hub too, if I may
#id come in for my like 4 hour shift and would have to run + close shop which included wrapping#wrapping storing calling for all orders done plus get all yhe frames lined plus unpack and clean up all the new frames coming in all by#all by the end of the night PLUS frame shop had to clean the bathrooms every night#plus actually running the front desk and taking orders and sometimes ppl would take hours picking matts that would cut into the time i had#to have everything else finished PLUS if i for some reason had everything done on time theyd make me run sales floor too#it was insane all the stuff they had me learn for such shit pay like. and#never work michales but never do it around the holidays more important#you will never escape the glitter#all that and my framing manager never got around to teaching me how to assemble a frame.#at least it was nice to hide in the frame shop so i wasnt talking to customers 24/7 but still#customers treat you so horribly like i was sweeping once and this lady comes up to me like saying the bathroom was disgusting right#and i get it. it was always disgusting. but we did clean it every night. anyway its hard when you cant just tell people that 1.#1 we clean them every night so if theres a huge mess in it most likely it was another shopper who pissed on the floor just cuz.#and 2 they only give us a mop and some pine sol to clean the whole 2 bathrooms every night. dont blame me blame michals lol#everything else was just so stupid#i wanna know how many framing department ppl everyone else had because we had 2 part time and 1 full time and i was only there a few months
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bzeye · 30 days ago
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katierosefun · 11 months ago
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sick and twisted that organizing my desk space (and organizing the clutter in my room in general) does, in fact, make me feel a lot happier and a lot better about my life . . . sick and twisted
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lord-squiggletits · 2 months ago
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I wish I could remember how to write Megatron or Optimus aslkdfjsdak
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gideonisms · 1 year ago
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Like y'all are not getting some kind of automatic mental reward for accomplishing tasks come on that HAS to be a capitalist myth. Maybe if you value the task or you're excited to be done for the day but I KNOW people aren't just out there completing tasks just for the enjoyment of completing something because then everyone wouldn't dnf books all the time but they do
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dicketysplit · 4 months ago
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day 2 of the move!!!!! my body gave out on me at like 3-4pm yesterday and my 69 year old mother and 78 year old father were fucking supreme for not letting me exert myself and doing all of the cleaning and heavy lifting themselves
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brunetterightsactivist · 6 months ago
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NOT tired because i drank a celsius at 4pm so i could clean my house (i didn't clean my house)
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