#i just finished dungeon meshi lately

[iamluminia]

⚠️blood,Dead body!

Celebration for the winner

sooooo…watcher eat negative emotions right?

[feelo-fick]

more misc au art... (the last two are unrelated but shh)

GAAAHHHH i promise ive got actual stuff cooking im just scared to post it/motivation to finish art Hard :"D clutching my head... always forever 24/7 thinking about them...

[fumifooms]

Chilchuck, family & alcoholism

Collection of thoughts and speculation on Chil’s upbringing, his dynamic with his family and how alcoholism ties into it all. If you want the groundwork info on Chil’s background I recommend my masterpost on his family, here beyond a summary of the facts it’s really just me speculating from the crumbs we get of his parents and siblings, how it’s all affected him and in turn affected his own wife and kids etc etc.

There’s nothing more I’d like on mother’s day than to speculate about Chilchuck’s maladaptive attachment style. I’m fascinated by how distant everyone is and how much he’s been devoted to them all despite having been so absent. Intergenerational trauma get over here

Actually it’ll be easier if I make a rundown here too, it’s just stuff I reiterate from my masterpost tho.

Tiny table of contents: 1- rundown: family facts 2- rundown: alcoholism 3- dad 4- parenting 5- daughters 6- wife

^ Every time his dad gets mentioned. His mom never gets mentioned. His siblings I think are only ever mentioned in this extra, and then there are more ambiguous relatives cameos.

We know is hometown isn’t Kahka Brud, but we’re not sure wether he moved there upon getting his own house (presumably around when he got married at 13), or if it’s only after his wife when he rented out his place to relatives then rented the place in Kahka Brud.

If he rented it out to relatives, maybe that meant it was in his hometown? Especially if he and his siblings are "almost strangers" so presumably he doesn’t really keep in touch with his family. And I mean, he hasn’t seen his wife or daughter in 4 years so you can imagine how he’s like with his more distant family…

Additionally half-foots and Chil are very coded to be from an impoverished opressed working class people. So that’s the context.

I’ll say that I mentioned intergenerational trauma at the beginning, and I def think the distrust of elves is part of that, but here I want to focus on the interpersonal effects rather.

Copy pasting my masterpost thoughts overall: Chilchuck is hinted to have had a rather dysfunctional family himself (alcoholic father, distant siblings, etc). So he doesn’t really have the best model on how to raise someone and such. I imagine it was a sort of neglectful home situation, where the kids are encouraged to be independent. If they didn’t have to work or help around much, then a free range parenting sort of thing.

We do see how the family has full and warm feasts, where someone cleans his mouth with a rag, so it’s not like he didn’t have caring people or had a tragic childhood though! I don’t remember if it’s explicitely stated but he’s heavily implied to having grown up poor, as most half-foots, and I just think it’s the hardened hardworking family type of childhood where just like he does with others, they instilled somewhat harsh life lessons in him, which in turn encourages him to indulge in the simple pleasures of life like alcohol and sex, or at least women’s beauty and crass jokes. We do see he seems more optimistic when he’s younger in flashbacks, so a bunch of his harsh view on the world is still likely learned and earned rather than taught.

I still think he inherited many flawed views from how his father acted, like his attitude about excessive drinking not being a big deal, it being worth it. That work hard play hard, enjoy life die young mentality he has, shown mostly in the “alcohol” section of his Adventurer’s Bible profile, could very well be partly a result of the general poverty half-foot communities are that he grew in as well, like how he doesn’t hope for things to be as best as they could be and contends with good enough.  As far as I remember, his mother is never mentioned, but I doubt it implies she was out of the picture. She was probably a regular sort of mother that took care of the home and was still around when his father died, not unlike how Chil’s wife was implied to be a housewife. It looks like there’s a good age gap between one sibling to the next, that could be interesting to speculate about too. Mostly though I think it’s big family because it’s just sorta what happens when you regularly have sex and you don’t have contraception, being poor often makes family planning harder for various reasons and leads to more children.

Alcoholism context rundown:

Good Chilchuck analysis baseline here. Alcohol seems to be his main stress reliever/coping mechanism, especially for how emotionally constipated he is, and his job is being stressed about his party’s safety. Then he also mentions as a changeling that having his senses dulled feels relaxing to him, further confirming alcohol, as a drug that dulls senses, is something that he likes for the intoxication aspect and feels it’s relaxing. Alcohol also acts as a hunger suppressant, so it for sure has played a role in his dieting and unhealthy eating/diet habits, especially since he shows the instinct to drink to soothe hunger, all of that about how going hungry for 3 days used to feel manageable. Chil dieting info compiled here.

Chilchuck is at his most effortlessly cheerful when drunk or drinking. Compilation of every time he was drunk here.

And to be clear, a cheerful drunk is still a drunk. He literally will drink anytime he gets the opportunity to even if he’s aware overdrinking leads to health problems and death. Like canonically. He does NOT see how drinking should be a problem and does not seek to show restraint with it.

Dad of the dad

Marcille and Chilchuck having a talk on how losing a dad be like "You lost your dad young too…? I know how it is, it must have hit you hard…" "No not really tbh. Do you want lasagna or chicken for dinner?" <- either genuinely doesn’t feel much about his dad’s death or has 10 layers of repression, idk which is worse

I think Chil not making a big deal out of his dad’s death, not having worries in following into his footsteps that way in the least, is super interesting.

As a buddy @saccharineomens puts it: " I kinda imagine chilchuck and his dad didn't have a bad relationship, but in general chilchuck is so blase about drinking (he sees it as a delightful time, a wonderful thing! he wouldn't mind dying doing something he loved!) that he's not very upset about his dad's passing? like "yeah, he died, but i was already an adult, he was an adult, he made his choices, i make my choices, it's cool" " And I’ll nitpick that we don’t know how old he was when his dad died, I always assumed it was pretty early since Chil left home when he got married, and like I’ve gone into he doesn’t seem to be the keep in touch type. It’s on the table though, and he could have learned about it through letter if nothing else and that contributes to the "meh" reaction.

And that is very Chilchuck, the whole "we made our choices, it is how it is, he died doing something he loved", and you can totally believe that that’s the crux of it, but I do think the nonchalance hints at the family overall being distant and not only the siblings, that there’s dysfunctional shenanigans going on in there more than just… Healthy coping and having moved on.

I wonder when Chil first drank… And I wonder how he came to realize he liked alcohol a lot. His father probably gave him sips… Or he stole them

No because, with how disaffected he is about his father and siblings I could definitely see him having started to kind of numb himself/dissociate with the help of alcohol in that home environment that felt so… Either devoid of feelings or too messy to get attached. I can totally see his family being one that encourages dealing with feelings by bottling them up.

Because too… We saw him have a family/community feast of some sort presumably when he was a kid, in that chapter cover, so it’s not like there’s no warmth or sense of family at all, but then like… What went wrong? If as I theorize that girl with short black hair in that panel is his future wife, since she’s his childhood friend and all, what if his family/home life was always kind of cold and distant, even when gathered and cheery or despite those occasions? So then it’s like, at the family gatherings, she’s the most important person there to him, the one he actually connects to the most, the warmest presence he has…….. Someone he jokes around with that feels on the same speed as him, that doesn’t have the same connotations as everyone else present, a bit of a haven, someone different, a breath of fresh hair and a regained sense of childhood… Spitballing of course of course

I feel like they had a pretty big family and they were poor and such so there were always chores to be done etc, so their household might have operated like a mini busiess of sorts where everyone’s too busy, always has this and that to do and the mother asks them to go do tasks. I used to think it might be more of a neglect situation, where the kids are expected to provide for themselves and so cook their own meals and whatnot, both parents distant, but I don’t think so with the feast illustration. Chil at the beginning of canon used to see eating as a practical thing more than anything, you have to eat to live but don’t eat much or your weight will make your job more dangerous, might as well skip meals and have beer instead, etc etc. So the thought that he doesn’t know how to cook all that well despite this speculated background where he cooked for himself and keeps cooking minimalistic, since he does tell Senshi he taught him about cooking, is fair, but still… There could definitely be a situation where his older siblings were pushed into a parental role too, where they helped with the food and raising the younger siblings etc etc. As mentioned, the age gap between siblings may play into the dynamic as well. But on this front I have less ideas…

So yes my general take on Chil’s family is that everyone was too busy to emotionally connect as much as is normal, the parenting leaving things to be desired with alcoholism and emotional neglect.

Fathering

And I think that’s especially interesting considering he hasn’t been keeping in touch with his daughters either. It’s "they’re independent now" and that’s kinda it. His daughters haven’t sent him letters or visited him or tried to make him talk to their mom again. It does feel like with his own parents and siblings to me, where people are almost strangers, where relationships grow apart and everyone shrugs and goes ‘that’s how things are’. Is it that everyone including all his daughters gave up on trying to keep in touch, or is it that they all went "well divorced or not he’s absent, this is our normal tbh", and which is worse?

So yes, I think his relationship with his daughters is probably similar to his relationship with his parents, sort of hands off. Chil's dad was probably not a good dad but probably not quite a bad dad. A definitive He Was There, to quote another friend heh

Imo the thing with Chil is that he was pretty absent bc of work travels to dungeon dive, right. He’s working hard to provide for his family but in the process he’s not spending much time with them, slowly making a gap grow between him and them as they drift apart and change as people. He’s a career dad who never realized spending time with his family was more important and threw his pager into the ocean— But also here’s the thing!! You want to say being his family is more important, but money is arguably more important! They’re poor, they don’t have the privilege of free time as much. Sure he’s not there, but he is providing for them what they need to keep living and growing healthily. Similarly, you want to say Chil should stop doing harsh dieting for weight management, but, he has a point, maybe starving is still preferable than dying in traps. Of course the ideal would be to change jobs, but again, life is a struggle and that’s not always an option.

^ Truly the classic "if you don’t listen to me, your parent, a cryptid is gonna kidnap you!" international experience………

He is so so so the "What? My way of parenting is kinda bad? But my father raised me like that, and look how great I turned out!" <- emotionally dysfunctional…….. "Pshhh what do you mean having an alcoholic parent negatively affects you? My father was an alcoholic too and look at me"  🤡

All of it was behavior normalized to him. And listen, I’m saying this but not as like, shirking of his part in it. This isn’t a teen or young adult, he’s middle aged, he’s become the one giving and not receiving the generational trauma. He’s chosen to never think deeper on the topic.

And like, he himself is so indifferent to his father and what their relationship was like, of course he wouldn’t notice if a parenting choice wasn’t great for his daughters. He doesn’t have a relationship with his dad, he’s not (at least not consciously) traumatized by him, so from his perspective it’s mission success! He got raised decent enough 👍⭐️ Except he doesn’t realize that like, not particularly caring if he died is sign of a problem between them in itself… And this even as he remains somewhat of an important figure in his life, especially since that’s who he sees on the other side of the life river in the ghost chapter. It’s implicitly the biggest instance of loss through death Chilchuck has in his life I think.

But despite it all he obviously does love his family a lot, right. So I do believe that like, while he has imperfect standards when it comes to parenting he still tries to be better than his dad was, that even if it’s necessary that he has a lot of long work travels, he spends time with them. And there’s sort of this dissonance that he’s both "it doesn’t matter wether i’m here or not, they’ll live, they’re tough girls. Oh they didn’t like my scolding earlier? It’s just how kids are" dismissive and "I love them so much and I want them to have a good life. I want to do my best by them" devoted and so so caring. And like that’s why he works so damn hard, he does it for them, but also that’s why the girls grew up with an absentee father and aughhhh AUGHHHH the unsolvable dilemma of it all Chilchuck in Dunmeshi truly represents like, the harshness of reality & the world and how sometimes things will just suck no matter what, and then of course balancing that with Marcille in their shared arc where she tacks on "And despite that there is beauty everywhere even in the small and menial things, despite that your flawed relationships and dreams are still worth fighting for" ie giving reconciling with his wife a shot, etc.

All that said I think the very strict "you’re gonna grow up to have a stable job by god, young miss" attitude, those strong work ethics he highly values and focuses on and no doubt tried to instill in is own kids, is something he somewhat inherited from his own upbringing and parents.

In my masterpost bit on his parenting, I said I don’t think he’d do any kind of corporeal punishment, but. I do wonder about spanking aftee all. It can be so so easy to rationalize it… Sigh

Daughter pov

Again, my general interpretations for the daughters are written in my masterpost. I think Patti knows her father the least and is the one least worried about jobs and stability and least settled down as a result. Flertom is the more social one who I imagine tended to be the one worried about her parents’ couple and their emotions the most. And Meijack… Ohh Meijack.

When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it and still you stand next to your mother just as quiet and just as stoic during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight out of mind

Thinking of those posts about how kids never forget and during the "draw your family!" things at school, some of the kids draw their working parents seperate from the rest of them...

Absent father and when he’s at home you get the crumbs of him that you get and you’re grateful for it and that’s that <333

She doesn’t know how much he loves them bc he hasn’t showed them in a long time </3

The horror of drunk Chil in my fics is often about what in this state he can’t do rather than what he could do, how someone who’s as proud of his skills and work ethics as he is has truly changed, not comprehending how he could become so sloppy or how he could allow himself to get like this, marred the values he preaches above all else. It’s in the way that he fumbles with doorknobs, that he could never lockpick a door if you were to lock it, and it both being your salvation and bringing you extreme distress at the thought of it all. His footsteps usually featherlight now sound heavy as stone, like a troll’s.

You know the thing that gets me so bad with alcoholism angst is when people describe the drunk person as a stranger. Often making a metaphor that they’re monsters, have some monster they shapeshift into uncontrollably once in a while, as a way to split the unreconciliable halves of the person sober and drunk in your vision of them……. It gets me soooo bad Little Puckpatti growing up on tales of trolls kidnapping disobedient kids and replacing them with doubles so no one even knows they’re gone… Coming face to face with a drunk Chilchuck that roams the halls of the house with heavy steps in the night, because she wanted to go drink a glass of water, too thirsty to sleep………..

And this is where I reveal that I wrote a fic about just that!! Trolls that thump and tiptoe through the night Mei @ Chil, You made me of stone and still every day you wear me down and chip away at me bit by bit

In the end notes I describe my takes and interpretations: With Mei I tried to give the sense of a kid who sacrifices some parts of childhood to feel closer to her parent, like not playing games to spend more time with him no matter how empty, or wanting to be worthy in his eyes. With Fler, since she was the one in canon to take in their mother and write Chil a letter explaining the situation, I feel like she’s always been the one most involved and aware of the problems in their family. The one most there to emotionally support or to understand what the vibes in a room meant. Puckpatti I think knows her father the least, since with time I think Chilchuck was more and more away from work and more and more cynical like the flashbacks of younger him dungeon diving. I think because of her not minding unstable odd jobs that she’s the most passive, that she’s the most go with the flow. I do also love when Mei is the one most aware of her parents’ flaws and most critical as the eldest, but not in this fic. Meijack grows up to never touch a drop of alcohol, what people joke is the one difference between her and her father. Flertom drinks, too much sometimes, but she considers drinking should be a social activity rather than a habit. Puckpatti only drinks on special occasions when she has the chance.

They already don’t have that much time together because of his work, I wonder how big of a percentage the amount of memories the daughters have of him are when he’s not himself truly… How they kinda reconcile it all. It’s their normal. 

And the thing that’s gutting too, is that Chil always looks so so much more open, relaxed, cheerful and happier when drunk than he usually is. He doesn't know how to get his defenses down without alcohol

"you're all that's good"

Because we do see how he truly used to not be so closed off and bitter. But distrust and fearing for betrayals from both coworkers and then his wife aka the person who’s supposed to be closest to him (he doesn’t even have close family besides his daughters. Does he even have close friends) turned him into what he is now. He was so cheerful!! Happy and trusting and optimistic.

He leaves and she left

God there’s the whole ‘wife leaving him’ trauma too is the thing… It had to have fucked him up so bad like no wonder he got paranoid and decided not to open up to ANYONE like. He never saw it coming is the scariest thing. He didn’t expect her to just up and leave. He didn’t see the warning signs. He won’t know if it’s coming this time either.

….. But then also, why he didn’t reach out to her (besides hurt) was because it was a petty silence treatment, like "oh she left without saying a word? Fine well I won’t reach out to her either" <- man who is so not fine and collected about it. It’s been FOUR YEARSSSSSSS I wonder if he always was like… "This week she’s gonna send a letter. … Ok fine, this month she’s gonna crack. … Within the year she’ll come crawling back." and it’s a bit why it was allowed to go on for this long unchecked like… Why he still considers her his wife even though functionally she’s more of an ex by that point after 4 years.

I can never stop thinking about him and his wife they’re fucking crazyyy. Him not reaching out to her started as a silent treatment from frustration. She never reached out to him either, she just up and left, didn’t even leave or send one last letter she’s just gone and has left this all behind, the house and everything in it. It’s been 4 years but he still considers her his wife and considers themselves only "estranged", "due to circumstances we haven’t seen each other in years". His face in the panel he said this is interesting too, trying to be casual but defensive and exasperated, already dreading the judgement and questions. He moved out of his house to rent a place in Kahka Brud instead. How much of him not reaching out was avoidance… Guilt, frustration, sadness, confusion, just procrastinating and dread and fear of a rejection more concrete, or something else… Maybe realizing he doesn’t miss her as much as he should, not enough to chase after her or try to get her back, just resigning himself to it… Is he a bad husband, is he a bad person? Should they reconcile?

Not seeing it coming… It’s half trust, that this person who’s so dear to you could never just up and leave and hurt you like that, half entitlement, thinking that she would never think of leaving, and third it’s blinding himself to the warning signs, not wanting to believe or acknowledge them. Because like, there WERE some, he said she "suddenly fell into a bad mood on the way back [from the outing]" and I don’t think he’s too dumb to be aware that something was off, he literally just dismissed it and then went surprised pikachu face when it turned out things were indeed off.

Part of it is definitely, how do you even react if your wife walks out on you without warning. If it happened to me I think that I wouldn’t reach out for a while either, wait for them to reach out to me first, give them space. As I put it in one of my marchil wips, "I respect your right to be rid of me too much to try and shackle you to me if you want to leave". Inaction is easier than admitting he’s scared to check and find out that the worst case scenario is true. It’s been years and he still hasn’t worked it out why she left. Do you think that’s on purpose. That he doesnt want to know for sure. It’s so so so scary to try and do anything about it

He said he didn’t reach out right away when she left because he was petty and wanted to give her the silence treatment back. Ok but is it that he blames her for their marriage falling apart or does he blame himself and he’s just misdirecting the conflicted feelings? Did he not reach out because a part of him was too scared to know why she left or if she would refuse to come back? Did he just think that she’d come back on her own, and things would get fixed while still staying unsaid and unconfronted like they always have, the first month, then the next and the next, until it was a year in and it sunk in that oh, maybe she wasn’t coming back?

He seems genuine here when he says that he was angry about it and gave her the silent treatment, but it is an habit of his to lie to make himself look worse instead of showing vulnerability, so who knows.

He is so so scared of being affected by relationships. Same thing with his compulsive habit to disguise his worry for anger. It’s why he doesn’t want people to have expectations of him, "I’m a coward I’m selfish", because then they can’t be disappointed, they can’t be surprised if he bites, they can’t leave when you lose what they’ve been staying for.

He has avoidant tendencies too. Every time there’s an interpersonal issue he just accepts it’s out of his control immediately. He’s passive when it comes to relationship problems, just like with coworkers, relationships are a ticking time bomb to him, and he just wants to be left out of it and come out unscathed. It comes back to his pessimism. He doesn’t think that like, things could be better. According to him life is tough and cruel, you accept your lot in life and make the best out of it and that’s it. If people are scummy you don’t whine about how unfair it is, you close yourself off and work to not be taken advantage of again and adapt. So then with his wife, when Marcille is like "Have you tried… Talking?" it’s such a crazy idea that it might work at all, that he could have the power to fix things… And that’s why it’s such a big deal when he goes "Alright I’ll try… I don’t know if it’ll go as well as in the stories, but I’ll try". That CRUMB of allowing himself to be hopeful is so huge

Honestly for the longest time I misread this bit, I thought she left in the night like how Marcille framed it, but no she left after he left for work. She left after he left again.

The way it’s told, it really sounds like Chilchuck just came home from work, stayed probably a couple of days in which they went to that outing together, then left for work again right away/soon after and it’s like. Was that outing the most special thing you guys did together. You came home from like a month of work, you had one outing where she ended up having a bad time, y’all didn’t talk about it further and then you left for another couple of weeks. Are you kidding me

Your married life is waiting for your husband to come home, spending mediocre time together, being shut down when you voice discontentment, and things being left unaddressed before he leaves again.

She left when he was gone for work, but did she leave the day of, or did she flip flop on it and took a while before working up the strength to leave? Was she waiting to see if he’d say anything before leaving and when he didn’t that was the last straw?

Chilchuck trying to prove a point that half-foots can make it out there, trying to rely more on himself because that’s the only person he can trust. His wife feeling like he's leaving her behind (because he does. over and over and over and over.) This guy just keeps throwing himself into work because he thinks it's what's best for everyone. Hey sir neglecting emotional needs can be kinda detrimental to everyone involved, I think you might wanna know that ^ quotes courtesy of @soappox

And to come back to alcoholism for a bit, alcoholism is alcoholism, and someone asked why I thought that a Chilchuck with depression would drink and cope through alcohol, since drinking seems to be something cheerful to him. It does puzzle me a bit but it’s worth going over, so… I don’t think him using drinking as a coping mechanism is far fetched at all. Cheerful drunks that are alcoholic still can absolutely use alcohol in ways like that. If something makes you happier, or even just more numb which translates to you feeling more free etc etc, then I definitely think it tracks that he’d keep drinking. Like personally I do think he’d drink a lot after his wife left him, and in rough patches like that. Depression -> not wanting to have to think, the days are blurring together and you either don’t want to be conscious or you want to feel something etc etc -> drinking for the alcohol. Alcoholics tend to be, well, dependent on alcohol. If something bad happens etc they’re usually more likely to go harder on it rather than stop. We can debate on when and why Chilchuck first started to drink but it’s straight up his favorite food now and it’s deeply ingrained in his life, in his favorite outings and activities and priorities and moods and meals. A CHEERFUL DRUNK IS STILL A DRUNK!!! They drink to get happy not drink because they are happy, though obviously the two can have overlap.

Chil represses sooo much. His solution to interpersonal conflict and feelings is just don’t think about it and dull your feelings & senses to everything ✨ I love him. I need to kill him with hammers Like the other day I was thinking about an AU where he might have ran away from his neglectful home or something, but then I remembered he deals with everything including his family by dulling his feelings and senses to things 🫠 He wouldn’t leave

I’d say he doesn’t look troubled by loss through death, moreso loss through mistakes. His nightmare is his daughters dying yes, but moreso them being killed, there’s an axe in the wall etc, it’s about having failed to protect them.

If he can’t fuck something up or if he’s already fucked it up there’s this pacifying sense that he can’t have the rug pulled from under him, because that’s what having connections is, having a wife isn’t an insurance it’s a rug waiting to be pulled. And his brand is sort of Flawed Mr Mistakes Man so he’s kinda been having to cope lol. I do think he throws himself into workaholism, because it’s sort of the only way to live he knows, making yourself capable and useful and spending his days working like that, less time to think, too tired to think. Senses dulled, senses that are usually too sharp, cutting with clarity that he prefers ignoring and avoiding. Work is something he doesn’t have to feel through, something that gives him pride and self-esteem, something through all the danger and life or death risk feels safer, emotionally. No one taught him how to deal with things another way, it’s always been suck it up and work.

Conclusion

Stop smoking we love you and we don’t want you to die

No drinking will not externalize your feelings no it won’t vent them out well please Chilchuck ple-ea-ease…….

</3 They should invent an alcoholism that doesn’t make you dysfunctional and hard to be around

^ Drunk, by The Living Tombstone

I’ve been thinking about enneagrams and Chil is 6w7 highkey. Becomes 3 when stressed, a little 8 but it’s more that he wants security so much that he becomes paranoid rather than having the core of an 8 y’know. I haven’t dug into it for quotes yet but this paper goes hard if you’re curious.

Dropping my relevant Spotify playlists here bc why not: Chilchuck & his wife, marchil angst

[pokeathlondome]

this line delivery is so funny to me chilchuck was so real for saying this I would too if I was in his situation

[tartagliove]

ZEBRA HI UHM <33 i am here summoned by the divine to get u into blue lock 👼

HI HI RYE!!! Ohhhhh my gosh no no I can’t be pulled into Blue Lock!!! *wails* I can’t deal with the pretty men and the way so many of my moots write them…

[girlkomaeda]

I don’t recognize skinny falin as falin WHERES MY FAT BITCH!!!! Thag skinny little thing is NOT her…

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

I wasn't expecting such a timely upload, but happy fourth everyone!! Here's the Dungeon Meshi print I RUSHED to finish before attending JAFAX artist alley last month! The whole gang's having a courtyard pool party.

I just put this print on my Bigcartel store! Here's the link if you're interested.

Ramble and uncolored pencil version below:

Because of the time crunch, I had a lot of moments where I felt like something needed tweaking, or i had an idea, but I dismissed it because I didn't have much time. I wish senshis skin was a little darker/warmer. I think it got washed out with the yellow overlay layers, and I didn't really realize until it was too late :/

Also, I thought it might be cute was having a crown somewhere in the scene. Cuz this is supposed to be a post canon thing, and it would be a cute nod to them still getting together and doing fun things after Laois becomes king. And I even thought that the pillow below Chilchuck would be a cute place for it, because it's close enough to be noticeable, and a pillow would make sense, AND Chilchuck would be perfect to guard it with his good ears. But I already shaded it in, and that paper was a huge ass pain. (it was paper made for relief prints. I found it in my old art school stuff. Thought it would be good for drawing on. It was Not.) The paper would've flaked all over the place if I erased it. But at least it makes for a good place to sign the print!

I haven't seen the anime, but I read the manga, and it was really quite enjoyable. The world building is positively sublime, and the characters and their interactions? *chefs kiss* Here's hoping I'll have time to pick up the anime too.

[turtles-allthewaydown]

I've been working steadily on Diversity Win, I probably just need one more writing session to finish it. Either I'll do it as stress relief after my doctor's appointment this afternoon or I'll try to get it done tomorrow. The main problem I'm running into is I don't know how to end fics, especially when they butt up against where the anime left off.

reading the manga would probably help a lot here

My AO3 where in-progress fics can be found

[magicians-abode]

Hi lovely! This is my first request to ever make!

If you would not mind, could you write a fic about Chillchuck Tims (from dungeon meshi) and a female half foot reader? Like in episode 17 when Falin wreak havoc in her new form and Chill drags Mickbell under Senshis pan to hide. But instead of Mickbell its the reader and perhaps something about trying to comfort and protect eachother in all those minutes that they cant see what is going on with the fight outside the dome? And because they have feelings for eachother and the reader knows about his stance towards no relationships in the group, so its a little akward to be stuck that close, but Chillchuck is also a little frantic because he thought he was gonna loose the reader in front of his eyes, if they got under the pan a few seconds too late

Thank you so much if it is possible ❤️

Hello lovely anon! I'm so sorry your request took so long for me to write, I had started it almost as soon as I saw it but then my inspiration just slipped away and just now was I able to finally finish writing it. I hope this is to your liking! Please forgive me for taking so long dear

"Safe in your arms"

[Chilchuck Tims x female!half-foot!reader]

Warnings: none - fluff - reader has female pronouns - a few swear words

That couldn't have been her, right? That couldn't be Falin, she'd never hurt a soul. What had happened? What had gone so wrong? She was a normal tall-man when Marcille managed to build her up again from her skeleton and some of the dragon blood... Wait. Dragon blood. Was Falin half dragon now?

(y/n) was too caught up looking up towards the beast that appeared to be Falin right now when she felt hands tug at her arms.— come on don't just stand there, we gotta hide!— Chilchuck's voice broke her from her trance, making her look around as everyone got ready for a fight and he dragged her far away from the scene. She looked at him, a panicked expression plastered on his face. It was understandable, if she had a mirror in front of her right now, she'd probably have the same look on her face.

Somehow, in the panic of the moment, Chilchuck had managed to lift up the pan that Senshi used to cook their meals in everytime and placed it over them like a dome as he layed back, hitting the debris of what was once part of the wall. Tugging (y/n) closer, Chilchuck wraps an arm around her waist and with the other, buries her head on the crook of his neck. They're both panting, not so much from the action of running to hide, but more so from the panic. They couldn't see what was going on outside, only being able to hear a few screams or grunts as Kabru's, Shuro's and Laios's party fought against what once was Falin.

(y/n) felt her body tremble and she held onto Chilchuck's shirt. His grip around her was tight, and it seemed like it would stay that way until he knew they were safe and could step outside from under the cooking pan.— Chilchuck...?— she was surprised when she heard her own voice shake as she spoke, and so was he.

The hand that he'd placed on her head began to run his fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her.— It's okay, you don't have to be scared, we'll be safe here...— or so he hoped. He sounded determined, confident and okay, but deep inside, his heart was beating a mile an hour, and his head was filled with a million possible outcomes for the situation they were suddenly in.— Are you hurt? You should've reacted sooner! What if the chimera had stepped on you?! What if everyone accidentally kicked you around because you were in the way?! You could've gotten seriously hurt!— his tone was hushed, scared and anxious as it trembled with worry.

She lifted her head from his shoulder to try to look at him. The only light that came from outside where everyone was fighting, sneaked very subtly under the dome that shielded them, not really managing to illuminate too much. But it was probably for the best, because she knew that if he were able to see her face, she'd probably have at least a faint blush on her cheeks, and she didn't want that to happen. Only now she realized how... intimately Chilchuck held her against his own body. He was skinny, very skinny, and her arms instinctively moved to wrap around his torso, nuzzling closer towards him. Was it for comfort? Or was it because she wanted to bask in what would probably be the only chance she would have to be this close to the half-foot? He had always been so strict with all those "inner party relationship" rules of his, it wouldn't surprise her if after the situation outside died down, he'd just huff and pretend like he hadn't been worried about her in the slightest.

The noises outside grew louder and the earth shook as Falin climbed her way up a building and took flight to run away after getting hurt by almost everyone. Under the dome and in their own world, the two half-foot's hugged each other closely, not having a clue about what the hell was happening outside.— Shit, it's okay, it's okay...— Chilchuck whispered in her ear, not only to her but to himself as well.— I've got you, just stay with me (y/n), I'm not letting you get hurt— his reassurances made her heart pump faster than it already was, her feelings toward him only growing stronger. Was there a chance he felt the same? Or did his words sound awfully sweet and romantic because of their panic?

Chilchuck's mind was in turmoil. He was holding the woman he cared for deeply in his arms, and even if he felt afraid, he wanted nothing more than to protect her, to reassure her that everything would be okay and end soon enough even if he had no idea if that was true at all. Her arms were wrapped around his torso and her hands balled into fists as she held onto his clothes, her head nestled on the crook of his neck, their bodies huddled close together. The racket outside subsided, and after waiting for a minute or two just to be safe, Chilchuck finally moved the pan away from over them and he looked around to the disaster that had occurred while they hid.

(y/n) slowly looked around as well, and they soon stood up, dusting their clothes off from some of the debris they'd been laying on.— What... happened? God are they dead?— she mumbled to herself.

Chilchuck stepped closer again, and now held her face with both of his hands. He gently brushed away some dirt from her face and with a worried expression, began fussing over her.— You gave me a heart attack back there! Look at me, I can't believe what would've happened if I hadn't dragged you away! You–...— his brown eyes filled with tears and he looked away, trying not to cry— Dammit, do you understand how... awful it would've made me feel if I hadn't reached you in time?!— he wasn't yelling, he wasn't angry, he was scared, maybe frustrated as well, the shock of the moment still wearing off slowly.— Even if you get revived by Marcille or anyone else, I can't bear the thought of you getting hurt... much less seeing it happen right in front of my eyes and being uncapable of doing something about it...— Chilchuck pulled her into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around her waist, now he was the one burying his head on the crook of her neck.

—I'm sorry, I was just frozen in place, I...— (y/n) could feel him shake as he held her, and she wrapped her arms around him as well, trying to provide some type of comfort for him too.— I'm glad you were there to save me, Chilchuck... you were so strong back there...— she whispered, and the male half-foot chuckled, it was almost funny how she made him want to break his own rules about love.

—Never, ever, scare me like that again— he pulled away slightly, looking into her eyes with tender frustration.

(y/n) smiled gently, running a hand through his now messed up hair— I promise you, my hero— she whispered back, and the tension seemed to finally evaporate from his whole body. They held each other closely for a while longer, relishing on each other's presence and feeling happy to be alive and okay after such a tormenting experience. The rest of the party could wait, he needed to make sure you would stay with him and be safe.

[kidovna]

What’s on your current want to watch list for movies and TV?

oooh! fun question. these are the shows on my to watch list

the bear

shadow & bone (because i just finished the SoC duology)

what we do in the shadows

dungeon meshi

scavengers reign

yellowjackets

9-1-1

i know this is no longer on my to-watch list but i recently watched only murders in the building and i had SUCH a good time. i’ve also been keeping up with agatha all along!

my movie list is enormous and i can barely remember half the things on it but i’ve been meaning to watch challengers and poor things! i might also watch a wrinkle in time soon 🤔

i haven’t watched as many movies lately because i like to pay attention when i’m watching them and most of my media consumption happens in the background when i’m animating or drawing 😔 which is why i’ve been listening to more audiobooks instead.

[nartothelar]

Okay 2 questions

1. Have you watched delicious dungeon because it’s great and you’d love it I think

2. Where do you sell your buttons and sticker and merch stuff and duo will you make a tumblr post if you open commissions

1. I have watched it and have caught up with the latest episode! I love dungeon meshi and plan to read it after the anime season ends :D

2. I usually sell my merch on my etsy tho I haven’t got anything lately to list there sksksks I’m planning to get a few stickers ordered tho and once I do, I’ll make a post about it!

And yes! My commissions are actually open right now (though only for sketch ones) but there’s just a bit of a queue since I’m trying to finish up a few big ones I’ve been working on ^^

[absolutelynotararr]

I WOULD TAKE THE SUFFERING FROM YOU

RAR!

I don't watch new anime now, but recently I came across a moment from an anime called "Dungeon Meshi" (that's right ????) with that very moment where the knight sings with the sirens, but he sings terribly and very funny XDDD

• And just imagine that Odysseus decided to use the same tactics against the sirens, instead of putting his different-beast-plan into action. The unsuspecting sirens begin their song, but are interrupted by a cacophony from each crew member, singing something incoherent and terrifying. Everyone is out of tune and if there was any musician standing next to them, he would definitely have a heart attack, just like the sirens

• Some of the sirens decided to swim away from this nightmare before blood began to pour out of their gills, while others stayed, waiting for this madness to end so they could shout down the men and finally get their late dinner. (And the soldiers again used wax to protect themselves from the singing of the sirens)

• And imagine that Eurylochus decided to scare all the sirens to finish everything quickly, and began to sing in a very ominous bass, louder than anyone else on the ship. But instead of the sirens sailing away, something unexpected happened...

Eury: *Pats Odysseus on the shoulder and points his finger at the stone on which all the sirens (even those who had swum away) were located, who were clearly looking at Eurylochus, but they looked with admiration and love, and not with the gaze of hungry creatures* Captain,they became very strangely quiet, I think they're going to attack us-...

Odysseus, who again read lips: Eurylochus, you should have scared away evil, not made it fall in love with you!!! (ノ_<。)

Eurylochus: WHAT??? (; ω ; )

[candy8448]

Continuing reading meshi

(Previous post)

That pannel is so goofy lol

I really cant wait to see how the anime adapts these pages, theyre so cool and the speech bubble cant be done in anime, unless they do use the visual of a bubble anyway

This chapter was so cool.

Final battle Kjsshajavs7equagah

OH BOY OH DUDE OH SH-

THAT'S LAIOS' PERFECT MONSTER AKSHSJSSHJ

Also the lion's manipulayion is so terrifying 0.0

He's so blorbo

(Dadchuck shining thru)

I have no idea where the ship of these two comes from but what even kabru? Why the shoujo bg sparkles?? 0.0

Chulcklechuck :(

(The official translation says "no dooon't" whoch sounds so much more vunerable, desperate and helpless and it makes it more sad :(( )

I love how well defined kui writes and draws each character. These winged lion laioses look so unsettling and really just not him at all just from the body language and tone and its so cool

Oh wow these are super disturbing images 0.0

Just like a dog >:)

:000 (so cool how the eating desires thing was hinted at when we got the black bg pannel of the notebook page)

Thinking about how dungeon meshi could have litterally just ended after they revived Falin from the red dragon's stomach if after they revived her and washed her up and ate, they ask her to teleport them up to the outside of the dungeon.

I mean, the winges lion's magic doesn't reach outside of the dungeon so falin would probably have not felt a need to go back into the dungeon since whatever lured her to thistle would not have reached her outside. Bam happy ending (lol) (i have since been told why that wouldn't work...)

Oh Shuro's poor ears =_=

Also: bamboozled Laios, lol

Totally normal request

Ooh i didnt notice any mention of religions before. Im kinda curious now as to what types of religions there are and what they entail in this world 👀

Also what even is that face in that last pannel, laios???? 0.0

List of priorities: less important -> most important

Eat monsters, eat dragon, eat a world ending demon, eat sister

Dawww lookat them :))

Also chilchuckle... what are ya doin? You're not lifting anything what's that face for? (All of their faces in this pannel are masterpieces)

Them.

Awwwww the baby! He's so sweet :(

I can see why he's a blorbo 💖

This was a long one 0.0

Next ine will probably not be this long. Ive been struggling to have motivation to read anything lately so this took ages to post.

Near the end now and its so crazy 0.0 i dont want it goneeeee :((

Im gonna buy the adventurers bible when i finish this. I want to see all the lil goodies and i just love this series so much anyway

(Next post - final three chapters!!)

[ladyloveandjustice]

Anime Expo Day 2 Report: Dungeon Meshi live draw panel

I'm on my way hope and can finally sit down and make a log of my Anime Expo Journey, day by day/

Here's the Friday report:

I attended the Dungeon Meshi panel on Friday! I made sure to do so by sitting through the end of the Gundam panel and the whole Terminator Zero panel to make sure I was in the room (they don’t clear between panels). The terminator anime actually does look pretty cool! Jacki from Anime News Network was hosting and she’s so enthusiastic you get swept up. I did feel bad she kept commenting on how big the crowd was when I’m pretty sure at least half had the same idea I had and were there for Dunmeshi. But hopefully it got people who wouldn’t have considered it (like me, I do like Terminator but it wasn't on my radar) interested!

As has gone around the internet, the panel got hijacked by a guy carrying a boom box and waving an anarchy flag and a person singing (badly). It was very confusing, they got on stage and at first I thought it was part of the show, but then I realized the singing person was shirtless and had their tits out under the jacket they were wearing and was like probably not. Someone in the audience mentioned it was a Panty and Stocking song. They were demanding we dance, we all realized they weren’t supposed to be there and started booing. A guy behind me yelled “you’re being disrespectful!!!” which I thought was a very wholesome reaction. They proceeded to flip us all off. People were yelling “where’s security” and they finally came and slowly hauled them away. The person said “something something gay something” and someone yelled something back and I guess it’s a good thing my hearing is bad. As they were hauled off, they deliberately opened their jacket and flashed their tits as like, a screw you, like we all hadn’t already seen them.

Fortunately Trigger staff weren’t on the stage as this happened, just the host (who I felt bad for). The director, Yoshihiro Miyajima, and character designer, Naoki Takeda, came out and one of them joked “what a special guest!”

Now onto the stuff that actually matters:

We were shown a ton of concept art (no lines all colors, can’t remember what that’s called) and everyone screamed like crazy when it got to Marcille and Falin in the bath. There were quite a few screams for necromancer Marcille. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take pix.

There was also a live draw for the characters. We were allowed to pick two by yelling out who we wanted (I yelled Marcille and Falin) There was a huge coordinated chant for Senshi but that was kind of ignored and they chose Marcille and Izutsumi. We did get to take a picture of that:

The producer was actually recording the whole panel for a future Youtube vid, walking among the audience (he almost fell getting off the stage at one point which was a little scary since he was pretty elderly) and he was so enthusiastic and adorable.

Fans got to line up and ask questions and some notable ones I wrote down:

What monster would you eat if you were in the dungeon? "I wouldn’t want to eat any of it honestly, but if I had to choose, the Red Dragon".

“Which part of Falin would you want to eat if you had to?” “The dragon portion, definitely.” “Which part?” “The thighs look delicious. I want to make it clear I’m talking about the dragon here”.

Someone asked about the added Senshi panty shots, and the director responded “very keen”. And then said to ask the animators because they were the ones who added them. He also said “look forward to the future”.

After the picture was finished, one of them mentioned that Izutsumi was just like their cat who runs away whenever he tried to pet it.

I did try to get into the Bocchi panel since it was just upstairs and an hour after Dunmeshi finished, but they made us go outside the building and come back in, I guess to be fair, but that obviously meant I got there too late. I waited in line but it was capped.

[vickychendraws]

I feel that I have semi-succesfully combined Dungeon Meshi With Fallout. However within the fic, I'm worried about characterization. How do you push through things and characterize everybody well?

Hi!

Congratulations on finishing (or mostly finishing) such a big project! (Also sorry for the late response! I kinda foresaw my reply to be a little long)

I’m really flattered to be asked for advice on characterization! But to be honest, most of what I do is pretty vibes based, and the way I’ve characterized the dunmeshi crew hasn’t vibed with everyone. I feel like in the realm of fandom, you have some liberty with how you choose to interpret the characters, especially if you’re altering their backstories in a crossover/au. I think the hardest part is figuring out the traits you want to preserve. Bc you still want to capture the character and figure out what they’d authentically do in your scenarios.

Sometimes I like to think of characterization as a puzzle where different pieces can be fit together to create the same picture. I think, as long as you’re approaching things with a strong idea of the final picture you’re trying to paint, the pieces you build it out of can be a little differently shaped. (And what pieces you want to be the same as the originals)

A good source of help is u/dunmeshistash who has one of the most impressive independent archives of dunmeshi content. Kui has created a lot of extra material (profiles, short comics, post canon comics, etc) that can lend some additional insight. I’ll link them here: https://dunmeshistash.tumblr.com/

[felixcloud6288]

Dungeon Meshi Chapter 26

Babby Laios and Falin are always so cute.

This panel reminded me of the keyboard cat and long cat meme.

I think this is the first time Laios and Falin's last name has been mentioned. Although in the context it's used, you could think "Touden" is their father's name.

You can see the cursed ring on the ghost's finger.

Falin had a propensity for hitting things with blunt weapons from a young age.

Some takeaways on Laios and Falin's backstory: They're from an affluent village family, Falin has been capable of priest magic from a young age, and the village they came from is afraid of magic.

For a bit, I'd been curious if ghosts, ghouls, and zombies might be a recently discovered type of monster. Like, the dungeon's power to bind souls to bodies is unusual and the undead in the dungeon seem to be caused by the dungeon's power. So undead might be rare, if not non-existent, outside the dungeon. But anyway, it seems there is magic and curses that can create undead so they've probably been known for a while.

The end of that dream is Falin telling Laios to not die. Falin is dead and she doesn't want Laios to come with her.

So healing magic doesn't negate pain and can even amplify it in some cases. I guess it's because healing forces body parts back into place from before the injuries and the nerves are freaking out over all the movement.

Pain is how the body tells you that something is wrong and it tries to discourage you from doing things that can worsen your situation. If you have a broken bone, the pain is supposed to keep you from moving it so it doesn't snap and rip open something.

So maybe the healing pangs are because the injured body parts are rapidly moved back into place and all the pain signals hit at once.

Senshi doesn't want Marcille to use healing magic on him and Marcille is simply respecting his request.

I hope that leg was sanitized before it got reattached. It was in a dragon's mouth. And I hope that itchiness Laios is feeling is because his leg is asleep and not because he now has a bajillion dragon germs in his leg.

We've spent 26 chapters leading to this moment. There's been a constant urgency to finish this quest as soon as possible. Every moment that passes decreases the chance the party can save Falin.

The opening of this chapter implies they may be too late. Falin said her goodbyes to Laios as she tells him to stay alive. The second half of this chapter is a slow buildup where we're just waiting to know if the party will succeed or if it's all for nothing.

It takes four pages of Laios and Senshi carving through the dragon before they manage to pull the stomach out and cut it open and...

it's empty.

The party dissects the entire digestive system hoping they can find any remains. And when it becomes clear there's nothing left, Laios's monster obsession comes in to save the day. If Laios didn't know that red dragons store the indigestible parts of their food as fire fuel, the party would have given up right then.

And then hope rises as they find hair, bones, a staff, and a human skull.

I need to point out something important. If Senshi's pot deflected dragon fire like Laios thought it would, their journey would have ended in failure. Part of the plan was to make the dragon use up all its dragon fire fuel. If they were able to do that, then nothing of Falin would still exist.

back