#i just feel too awkward to dm or reblog/post saying so

[wackpedion]

@sobredunia I so love your reblogs and I appreciate your contributions, so I doodled this for you teehee

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

End Game 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, stalking, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your gaming buddy asks to meet up but it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Characters: Andy Barber

Note: get ready for the hate.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

The tunnel lights up ahead of you, revealing the cubic rock walls as you plant torches in your stead. The eerie soundtrack of night time and the ominous groan of zombies looming somewhere in the cave have you uptight. Silently, you press on, digging and mining mindlessly, fingers mashing the buttons on your controller. 

“Hey, where are you?” Jacob’s voice startles you. 

You nearly forgot you’re playing co-op. You sniff and shake your head, cursing aloud as your shock has you succumbing to the arrow of a sneaky skeleton. You sigh as your possessions scatter and you spawn back in your bed. 

“Back home,” you say glumly, “just ate it.” 

“Ah, damn,” his deep voice rolls in your noise-cancelling headset, “sorry, hope that wasn’t me.” 

“No, I wasn’t paying attention,” you hum and sigh.  

“Ah,” he accepts and lets silence linger before he clicks his tongue, “what’s going on? Everything alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” you put the controller down, your avatar sitting on the geometric bed, “I just...” you stretch your neck and massage your scalp around the thick band of the headset, “got a lot on my mind.” 

“Right. I thought you were all done exams,” he says. 

“I am, but... packing. Going home. I called my old boss and turns out I’m not gonna have a job this summer. Gotta start over,” you yawn and rub your eyes, “what about you? Final exam tomorrow?” 

“Uh... yeah,” he hesitates as if he forgot. You do wonder why he isn’t cramming right now. You could never play minecraft all night the day before a final. “Easy stuff. I’m not worried.” 

You scoff. You wish you could say the same. All you’ve done is worry those last two weeks. Exams, getting home, getting a job. Your grandmother won’t very happy to find out you’ll be slumming it for a while. At least you tucked away some money through the semester. 

“Hey, if you need a few bucks...” Jacob offers. 

“What? Are you crazy? No way,” you exclaim, “really, no, I couldn’t. I’ll be fine. I just... I hate looking for jobs. You know how it is. Friggin awkward.” 

“It’s not a big deal. My dad sent me my birthday money so...” 

“Uh uh,” you deny him again, “that’s way too much. I couldn’t-- we haven’t even met.” 

“Mm, yeah, about that,” he exhales into his microphone, “I, uh, got an extra ticket to this Con. I figured out that’s it like the midway point between us so...” 

“A con? Oh, wow--” 

“Yeah, but I get that it would be expensive so maybe I could pay for your trip?” 

“Jacob,” you wiggle the controller restlessly, “I can't accept that. It’s so nice but... it’s a lot.” 

“I wouldn’t offer it was too much,” his voice is soft, meek, and defeated. You feel bad but you would feel worse taking advantage of his kindness. “We’ve been talking all year. I just figured it would be a good chance to meet up. It would be in public and something we both like so...” 

You scratch your neck as it speckles with heat. You don’t know what’s more insulting; yes or no. 

“Can I think about it?” You ask thinly. 

The line is quiet. You look at the screen and it goes dim from your idling. You hit the analog stick and fix your headphones. 

“Jacob?” You murmur. 

“Sure, think about it,” he says, his voice raspy and rocky. It’s strange. You’ve seen him in pictures and his voice doesn’t really match his appearance. He sounds a lot older than he looks. “It’s next month so lots of time.” 

“I’m sorry,” you cringe. “I just wouldn’t want to waste your money.” 

“Trust me, it wouldn’t be a waste,” he insists, “this last year has sucked. So much. You got me through it all.” His microphone scuffs, “studying, exams, all that stuff. It’s tough making new friends. Seems like everyone here knows each other from high school.” 

“Yeah, totally,” you agree.  

You’re not exactly the most popular person. You have people you know in each class but not too many friends you hang out with outside the lecture hall or library. So far, not too many people want to spend hours mining digital gold or racing cartoon characters around a rainbow track. 

“Well, you should probably get some sleep,” you yawn, “you got your big exam and... I gotta keep packing. Gotta catch the greyhound tomorrow night.” 

“Sure, uh, yeah, right,” his disappointment is potent, “hey, will you text me when you get home? Just so I know you made it.” He snorts, “god, I sound like my dad right now.” 

“Oh, of course,” you chirp back, “I’ll try to remember. Might be late.” 

“That’s fine. Just as long as you let me know.” 

“Don’t worry about me,” you assure him, “not ‘til I have to face my grandma. Ha.” 

“Yeah, good luck with that,” he says, “well... er...” 

“Good night,” you finish for him, “let me know how the exam goes too.” 

“Will do,” his timbre gets even lower, “night.” 

You sign off and shut down the console. Another yawn flows through you and waters in your eyes. You should sleep, you got a long day waiting for you, but you know it won’t be easy. Not with so much on your mind, not least of all, Jacob’s invitation. 

🎮

You text Jacob as you get on the bus, to make sure he doesn’t worry. It’s so sweet that he does, even some of your girlfriends don’t bother that much. Not that you mind the ‘hey, bitch’ Janet sends you every now and again to make sure you’re still alive. 

You fall asleep on the bus. You’ve never been one to sleep while travelling but you’re exhausted from a night of anxious tossing and turning. After spending all day packing up the last of your things and scouring your dorm room, you’re beat to hell. 

It’s midnight as you get to your grandmother’s house. She’s up reading another Stephen King classic in her rocking chair. She’s always been a night owl and a voracious book hound. She grumbles at you but doesn’t bother to ask how your trip was. 

“Hey, grandma,” you hike up your bag and smile.  

She growls again, eyes not leaving the page. You should know better by now not to interrupt her. You shoulder on and head down to the spare room where you spent most of your high-school career. You shut the door gently as the old hardwood floors creak with your weight and you drop your bag on the squeaky bed. 

You fish out your phone and plug it in as the battery flashes red with only two percent left. You leave it on the night table and stretch out, not bothering to change out of your hoodie and jeans. It’s not long before you descend back into the same dreams that marked your journey home. 

You wake up to buzzing. Your phone shakes the nightstand, rattling it against the bed frame. You groan and roll onto your side, reaching blindly for offending object. You hit the side button to dismiss the call.  

You blink away the bleariness and focus on the screen. Along with the missed call are several text messages. You squint as you expand the notifications. Jacob! You forgot to message. 

‘Hey, you home?’ 

‘Checking in. Must be busy getting settled in. Just let me know when you’re safe.’ 

‘Not meaning to be weird but everything okay?’ 

‘Please answer me. I’m worried.’ 

You drag your thumb around the keyboard, letting it predict your words; ‘sorry! I was so tired. Home now and safe 😊' 

Three dots pop up then swoop away. You frown as the same thing happens several times before a response appears. 

‘Was really worried. Thanks for finally answering. Been up all night.’ 

You’re stunned by the terse response. Yeah, you forgot to answer but he doesn’t need to worry that much. You frown and shift onto your side. 

‘Srry again. Tired. Talk in morning. Night.’ 

You turn your phone on silent and plug it back into the cord. You do feel bad but you’re too exhausted to let it keep you up. Besides, you need your sleep. You have lots of job hunting to do in the morning. Not to mention, your grandmother to face. 

🎮

You let Jacob cool down after your return home. Rather, he doesn’t text and you’re too distracted to do the same. As much as you’d like to sit around and game, your grandmother was as disappointed as you expected with your employment status, even when you gave her the money you had left in your emergency fund. 

After a week, you finally get a bite. It’s nothing special. There’s a seasonal ice cream shop in a booth shaped like a vanilla cone that needs a cashier on weeknights. It’s less than full time hours but it’s better than nothing. It will be strange working with high school juniors but you can’t afford to be picky. 

‘Game tonight?’ The text interrupts your first shift. You don’t have a chance to answer as a family approaches the window to order. 

You get them the soft serve and take their payment, bidding them a good evening with their vanilla points already drooping in the summer heat. You glance around at the mostly empty picnic tables. Soccer practice will end soon and you’ll be overloaded with eight-year-olds. 

‘Srry. New job. 1st shift. Maybe tmrw.’ 

‘New job? Congrats. Why didn’t you tell me?’ 

You sigh.  

‘Time got ahead of me.’ 

‘Same. Catch up tomorrow then. Minecraft?’ 

‘Sure. Tmrw.’ 

You slip your phone away. A mother and daughter approach and ask for a sundae and a banana split. As much as you love ice cream, working with it hasn’t tested your cravings very much. In fact, you might be falling out of love with it. The smell of vanilla and overly sweetened strawberries is kind of gross when it’s all you breathe. 

As you watch the happy customers walk away, you smile. Maybe it will be good to get some mining done. It will take your mind off of everything else. Hell, it might even make you feel like you’re doing something useful. 

🎮

“Shit, oh, sorry,” Jacob corrects himself. You always think it's kind of funny how he doesn’t like to swear. “My diamond armor.” 

“Oh no,” you utter, “where are you? I’ll grab your stuff.” 

He gives his coordinates and you turn around, leaping over the green blocks to make your way there. Despite your reticence at the beginning, you’re feeling better about the session. He wasn’t as tense as he seemed in his texts. 

“So, uh, did you think about the con?” Jacob asks. 

“The con? I almost forgot. When is it?” 

He gives the dates and you hum. Your chest flutters at the thought still. You’re not stupid. Meeting people IRL is not like online, no matter how many hours you’ve mined together. As much as you enjoy chatting with Jacob, you don’t know about meeting up. 

“I get it if you can’t get the time off but my offer still stands to cover the trip. If you wanna stay the night, I’ll even get an airBnB.” 

“Oh, wow, that’s a lot. I’m working now. I could put in,” you offer.  

“Is that a yes?” He asks hopefully. 

“I don’t know... I mean, I’ll have to look into it,” you say evasively. “Talk to my boss and grandma and all that.” 

“Right, right,” he tries to sound unbothered, “makes sense. Of course, no pressure. How about I send you the ticket either way? Haven’t got anyone else to bite.” 

“Oh, well, hold off, I wouldn’t want to take it and not use it,” you collect his weapons and armor from the ground in the game. 

It’s silent as you focus on getting every little thing. 

“Sorry, did I freak you out?” He asks, “I’m really not trying to pressure you, just got excited thinking about it.” 

“I know, Jacob, it’s not that, it’s just... a lot.” 

“Totally get it,” he intones, “let me know whenever you got an answer. Uh, where are you? I’m tryna find you.” 

“Just stay there, I'll come back to the house,” you assure him, happy to focus on the game instead. 

Still, you can’t entirely lose yourself in it. You’re sure he’s a nice guy. From pictures, he’s less than scary, and he’s never been anything but friendly. It’s not like the other dudes you meet online who jump to asking about your bra size and all that. It just isn’t smart. 

Well, maybe if you don’t show up alone. You know what con he’s talking about and Kara from Econ lives near there. You could probably convince her to meet up. Hm, that might work. 

Just like you told him, you’ll have to think about it. 

[mr-orion]

☆I heavily appreciate comments/reblogs on my work☆

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My Comms are finally open!

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Turn on your notifications for me ♡ plsplspls (you really dont have to, i do shitpost a lot when I'm not drawing)

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☆About☆

Hi! I'm Orion, he/him, 20.

My favorite color is pink, I adore my black cat, and I love drawing and worldbuilding. I don't tend to spend a lot of time posting so you may notice the worldbuilding bit is lacking. I plan to start publishing more writing!

I typically scower the OC art tag for new artists to follow. I try to leave comments and likes everywhere! Occasionally asks for my mutuals too.

☆Tags☆

Here are some general tags I use

#Writing

#Oc Art

#Sketch

#Art Reblogs

#Others Ocs - Typically my fanart and reblogs

My textposts are rarely tagged. Stumbling upon them is a privilege

☆Writing Tags☆

🚧 ;l under construction 🚧

☆OC List☆

I get asked a lot if people can draw my ocs. YES! I usually draw something back if I have the chance too (no promises). I do ask that you do not whitewash my OC's, especially Mzamaki. It's incredibly awkward as it has happened way too many times for me to be comfortable with. His coloration is based on what I think is most aesthetically pleasing, and very intentional. It kills my excitement to see a free work of art get it wrong, and y'know. I can't really complain because it's free, so it just sucks... I don't believe it's an intentional message of whiteness being better, I will always give the benefit of the doubt. I strongly don't like it though

Art trades are always welcome too

My OC's are grouped by who they most interact with. Additionally if there have been any posts made about them they will have a hashtag

Favorites are highlighted in blue, but tbh, I love them all

#mr orion Ray

#mr orion Icarus

Quinn

Luciel

Maurice

Rika

Achilles

Cameron

Brenda

#mr orion Caelum

#mr orion Avin

#mr orion Armir

#mr orion Apache

#mr orion Liam

Marshall

Fantasy OC's

#mr orion Mzamaki / #Mzamaki

#mr orion Rhian

#mr orion Baron

#mr orion Lezna

#mr orion Neve

#mr orion Elliot

Lastly #mr orion misc oc one off characters and designs

[wifegideonnav]

I'm new to Tumblr. How do Tumblr users usually engage with each other?

well first of all welcome haha. the main ways to engage with people are:

liking and reblogging. platforms like instagram and tiktok run on likes and an algorithm, but on tumblr, people almost exclusively use their dashboard and turn off suggested content, so they’re only seeing what people actually reblog onto their dash. that’s why people on this site are so adamant about reblogs, because likes basically do nothing. i saw someone say once that anything you would like on a different social media, you should reblog on here, and i totally agree. and don’t worry about how old a post is, or about reblogging something you’ve previously reblogged. there are posts from 2014 that i regularly see on my dash a decade later, so literally don’t feel awkward, it’s 100% normal to engage with old posts.

tags. there are three main ways tags are used: labeling original content so people find it in searches, internal organization systems when reblogging or posting (for instance, many people have a tag for their original posts, and will tag reblogs by fandom or character or whatever - important note that reblogs do not show up in search results), and to make sotto voce comments on a post. it’s normal for people to make jokes, add their own commentary, ramble about something semi relevant, or say something to op in the tags on posts they reblog.

reblog additions. every time you reblog, you have the chance to add something to the post, which unlike tags will be retained when someone reblogs from you. a good rule of thumb is to comment instead of tagging when it’s something you actually want other people to engage with, as opposed to tags where you’re just kind of expressing yourself lol. don’t be surprised however if you see people’s tags getting screenshotted and added to a reblog. if this happens because the screenshotter likes what the tag writer said, it’s jokingly referred to as “passing peer review.” (and of course people screenshot tags to criticize or mock them as well.) essentially, tags are like being at a big group dinner and saying something to the person next to you as an aside, and then sometimes that person goes “hey everyone listen to this”

post comments. there’s also an option on every post (unless op has turned it off) for people to comment on the post itself, not on a specific reblog. mostly this is useful for talking to people on personal posts or posts with reblogs turned off. on a bigger post, just reblog it and put your thoughts in an addition or tag.

asks. seems like you figured this one out! lmao. asks are used for a wide variety of things, but essentially it can either be a prompt for someone to make a post or a way of having an interaction/conversation with someone without dming them.

dms. these work like dms everywhere else, except the functionality is limited and it kinda sucks.

games. there are also many varieties of games that people play with each other, ranging from ask games (things like “rec me some music” or a post with prompts and people send you some from that list), tag games (typically there are questions you answer then you tag other people to fill them out for themselves) handwriting tags, follow chains, giveaways, name/url playlists, and more. with the addition of polls, brackets have gotten popular too (eg the tumblr sexyman bracket). there also used to be a lot of in-character ask blogs, where a user would set up a blog and roleplay as a specific character that people could send questions to (there still are some but way fewer and way less popular than there used to be)

to be honest i feel like i have to put “discourse” and “drama” on this list too. people on this site loveeee having the most insane arguments of all time and then everyone else memes the hell out of it. google “sonic for real justice” for an example lmao. (of course there’s also very unfunny political and fandom discourse that goes on as well. i would advise you to avoid discourse blogs as a general rule regardless of whether you agree with their position or not)

tagging people. you can also @ people in posts you think they’d like or if you feel like they have relevant input. typically this is something you would do either to people you’ve spoken to before, or a big blog with an established persona and rapport with their followers (eg if you follow a blog about snakes and you see a random post with snake info that seems wrong but you’re not sure, so you tag them to ask for their expertise).

and this isn’t a specific “mode” of communication but it’s also a thing to “interpret” (for lack of a better word) other people’s posts. for instance, people drawing a photo from the original post (i cant find it but there was a post going around recently where op posted an aesthetic photo of an egg cooking and then several people painted it), or people trying/recreating something a post was about (example). it was also a thing for a minute there where people would rewrite funny exchanges as shakespearean dialogue

those are all the ways i can think of, although im sure i’ve missed some (if other people think of any pls add on!). good luck, and i hope you’re able to meet some cool people!

[skzstoryvault]

Erase and Rewind (angst, fluff, smut - Hyunjin - Part 2)

F!Reader

ex!Chan

good friend Hyunjin

multi chapter story

this chapter: angst and a bit of lightness

Chan broke up with reader

Reader is not taking it well

Hyunjin is being a supportive friend

Featuring insecurities, internalised misogyny and self-hate

This is in no way meant as a commentary on the real persons depicted here. They all deserve the world.

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

If you enjoy this story and are reading along, I would love to hear your comments in the replies, reblogs or DMs - however you feel most comfortable.

*** Part 1

The morning finds you snoring in your bed, naked after you tore your sandals, dress and underwear off before blacking out into the sheets.  Your phone buzzes with a voice message and you tell Google to play it for you.

“Goooooooood morning in the morning! How’s my favourite girl?” It’s Hyunjin, and he’s upsettingly bubbly. “Fuck you for being so chipper! Let me guess, orgy with the entire Versace runway cast.” You mutter, flipping the phone off too. “Why so sour, baby? And no, I went home right after you last night. Slept like the dead since!” Hyunjin says, still giggling and letting you know that you told Google you want to take the call, not hear a message. “I’m… I’m really sorry, Jinnie. I didn’t want to be rude to you or hurt you. I just haven’t had the best time lately. Please forgive me.” You say, realising he heard your unneccesary asshole reply. “No harm done. I’m flattered you think I can fuck thirty plus people in only a few hours. I am exceptional, but I don’t have sewing machine DNA. I’m also a bit worried, the more I think about it. I know you’re sad. Actually, sad doesn’t cover it. I know you took your breakup really badly and I wanted to ask… how are you doing?” “That’s very nice of you, Hyune. And yeah, I won’t be any fun for a while. I just… I never thought it would happen to me, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten with him. I’m so ashamed… but wait. I’m not supposed to tell you this. You’re in the enemy camp.” “Am not! I am your friend first, an asshole second.” Hyunjin says. “What’s this really about?” “I appreciate you asking, but I don’t want to pull you in my melancholy barrel. You might drown.” “Bullshit, baby. I can take a few dark thoughts. Only stupid people who can’t maintain a thought and an erection at the same time are perpetually happy.” You laugh at his words, despite your bad mood. “No, really, can I come over? I can listen and I can make you something yummy.” He suggests. “My home is a pigsty. I would be mortified if you saw it the way it is now. I need to tidy up and then I will gladly have you over.” “Then you come to my place.” Hyunjin doesn’t give up. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a drag and make you hate me, or worse, friend-divorce me.” He texts you a pic and gives you a verbal caption. “That’s you and me.” You open the pic and it’s the poster for the new Alien movie, “Romulus”, showing a close-up of a facehugger wrapped around a person. “Extremely violent, but I get the intent.” You say, sighing. “Okay, you got me. Let me wash my carcass and I’ll be right over.” “Yay!” He says  in a high-pitched, excited-sounding voice, and disconnects just as suddenly. You catch yourself smiling - Hyunjin is a tornado personified. He’s so intense in everything he does, from dancing to lying motionless on the living room sofa, and if he weren’t so unsettlingly beautiful, out of your league and completely not on the menu for you, he would be the perfect little guy. Everyone in the band is beyond gorgeous and looks are an afterthought when one considers their many talents and perfectly honed skills. But what endears you to them, and to Hyunjin especially, is their goofiness and their willingness to be awkward without censoring those instances away from the public scrutiny. Either way, Hyunjin’s weirdo facet is more dangerous to you because you are irreparably in love with it even while knowing you won’t have it. Hyunjin doesn’t swing that way, sadly. 

Chan even mentioned it in passing at the beginning of your relationship and you know he hadn’t meant it in a mean way and it was just fleeting relief. He said something along the lines of if Hyunjin was fishing in the same pond as them, no one would ever get so much as noticed by a girl.

Feeling clean and somewhat presentable, you show up at Hyunjin’s. His room at the dorm is actually a suite, just like the others’, and it’s tidy, boujee and comfy. He has a nice cosy living room with a painting corner, an all black bedroom and a bath just for himself, with a shower and a tub with massage nozzles. Everything is so clean and new and nice-smelling, absolutely not like a boy lives here. You guiltily think of your own apartment and the state of it, which reflects your emotional state, and sigh. You need to do better, as soon as you’re… doing better. Right now, you feel like a bum in your track pants and hoodie, standing on the thick carpet in your Halloween socks with bats and pumpkins.

“I’m so glad you came!” Hyunjin says, coming to hug you by wrapping himself around you completely. “I ordered us a mountain of fried chicken and two tubs of ice cream, one pistachio for you, one strawberry for me. We should be fine for a while. And I can have groceries delivered and make you whatever you feel like eating… as long it’s not too chef-y.” “Thank you, Jinnie, but the goodies you already got will be more than enough.You spoil me, and I’ve done nothing to deserve it!” “That’s not true! You’re my friend and I love you, which of course means I want to feed you and cuddle you and call you George!” You laugh at the reference, it’s so heartwarming, especially since Hyunjin already makes such an effort for you, peppering more English in your conversations, not being a patronising dick about your need to process longer when you don’t get a Korean phrase right away and, most importantly, setting his shyness aside and letting you into his circle of people he likes. 

“Let’s watch Hannibal and eat.” He says, unfazed. “We can talk if you want. Or not.” “Jinnie?” You say, following him to the sofa. “You know I love you too?” 

It doesn’t feel fake or forced to say it, because the love you do allow yourself to have for him is genuine and of a pure, PG-13 nature. 

“If you really love me, then start being nicer to yourself. I feel like you blame yourself completely. Channie-hyung is no church door. He can be a dick when he so chooses.”  “He wasn’t though. I don’t know what he told you, but he is a saint. I don’t begrudge him his decision. But I can’t help but hurt from it.” “What exactly was so fucking non-negotiable that he had to dump you? If I remember correctly, he made a whole production out of asking you out and he was a pest before that, whining that he would die if you didn’t want to date him!” You sigh deeply. It’s still hard to talk about it, but Hyunjin of all people might be more sympathetic to your angle. “Chan left because, while we generally agreed on the idea of not having kids, when I got sterilised he felt that it was way too… permanent and left him no room for revisiting the decision.” 

“Wait, you had a large invasive surgery and he got butthurt because he couldn’t get you pregnant?? Instead of helping you recover?” Hyunjin looks at you with lightning in his eyes. You’ve never seen him be this angry and it scares you a bit. Your shy, gentle and goofy Jinnie can be a big, big bitch, he just chooses not to be one.

“It wasn’t that invasive. I took a week off, the surgery was… um… minimally invasive and I spent one night in hospital. Then I came home and popped painkillers for the days after. They didn’t take everything out, just my tubes.” “Why didn’t you say??? We would have all been all over you, spoiling you!” “You were in Japan.”

“Oh. But after??? We could have come over and taken care of you. Why didn’t you say anything?” “You’re idols, Jinnie. And it wasn’t that big a deal to me, the recovery. It was a big deal to get it done, but because I’m foreign, being approved was easy. I also don’t like thinking about it, I feel kind of… entitled about my own organs not trying to kill or disable me? I just… I guess I was very naive, I thought Chan felt just as strongly about not having bio kids as me when we spoke.” 

“Yeah as a guy I can tell you, we don’t have much of a dog in the fight. We want kids because they sound like a great idea when you don’t have to risk your life, be left with lasting consequences or do most of the work. I would think of having kids as me doing it alone, because I only decide for me, and the older I get, the more I realise I enjoy having peace, getting to do what I want with my time and money, and the anxiety of having a bit of yourself and someone you love out in this evil world? I could not deal with that. My mom told me that she had an exemplary recovery from giving birth to me, but she still has some lifelong changes to her body that I would not ask someone I love to accept for my sake.” 

“Yeah well, being female is really not the hottest deal.” You say, sighing. “This is what’s bothering me the most about the break up, because reasonably, I understand that it’s only fair for people to part ways when their life plans don’t align.” “I would be out there having all of the sex if I knew that I can’t get pregnant. Although… ugh. Men can be dicks and give you other unpleasant stuff. I would require all my fuck buddies to submit a recent STD panel result.” “I don’t want to fuck many people, I get uncomfortable just thinking of that. I was hoping I could choose well and stop at one. Especially since I know how guys talk about women, it’s even in rap songs, wrist icicle ride dick bicycle and all that.” Hyunjin laughs, full-body and with his head thrown back. “Do not take life advice or sex advice from Nicki Minaj, she is married to a convict.” He then wills himself to be serious again. “I don’t know if I still think as highly about Channie-hyung as before, after what you told me. He’s still my leader and my big brother, but… for all his professions of love for you, he acted like he doesn’t even like you.”

“It’s okay, Jinnie, it’s not that deep, he is allowed to be selfish about his wishes, just like I am. I wanted to remove the possibility of getting pregnant by accident, he wants the possibility to get his partner pregnant.” 

“But then he lied when he said he didn’t want kids when he got with you! Dick move.”

“As you said earlier, he can approach this in a more detached way and I suppose he assumed I was also not as serious about it, forgetting we do not have the same freedoms when it comes to it.” “See? Dick.” Hyunjin says, holding a huge piece of glazed fried chicken to your mouth with his chopsticks. “For you. Open wide.” 

You laugh at how stern he is and obey, liking that he’s taking care of you. “And why do you think of yourself as single-use?” He says suddenly. “You’re a whole human, not an object.” “I can’t help it, Jinnie. I feel… used. Rationally, I know it’s absurd. But I still feel it.” “Maybe you’ve been listening to the wrong voices whispering in your ear for too long. Because if you really were used, it would mean a dick can change an entire human’s soul and being down to the atoms… and no dick is that superpowered. Much less Channie-hyung’s.” 

“It’s easy for you to say.” You counter, pouting. “You’re right, of course. But I’ll need a while to get to that point where I can like myself after absolutely failing at my life plans.” “When did you make those plans? And did you make them or did your mom tell you what to dream of? I wasn’t planning of being an idol, imagine how dumb I would have looked if I had told the scout, ‘I plan to try and be an interior designer and make people’s houses into homes! A career where few succeed and only if their daddy is rich or if they are connected. Being an idol is a huge change so I reject it!’ I think I did okay to change course. And you could too. Change course I mean.” “I’ll have to, I guess. I can’t kill myself or never leave the house just because I am too ashamed to show my face in the world after being dumped.” You offer, still unconvinced, deep down. “You came here, where Channie-hyung lives, so that’s already a big step.” Hyunjin commends you. “I figured I could gotcha him if he answered the door, like if he started with ‘oh stop following me, we are never getting back together’, I would have told him ‘I’m not here for you’.” You admit. “I’m not above pettiness, in fact I find it satisfying and I engage in it when I safely can.” Hyunjin holds his fist up, knuckles facing you, silently demanding a fist bump. “Petty bitches unite.” He explains. Part 3

[psychangels]

now that the boops are gone and the foolishness is over, i would like to say something.

if you want to interact with me, in any capacity, feel free! i'm a big dork! do not be afraid! (i've been told before i'm intimidating. i'm not sure how...i promise i don't bite.) i like talking to people! i just don't always know what to say, and am awkward.

send a dm (if we're a mutuals) here or on discord (same user), even if it's just you saying hi or a funny video or something; shoot me an ask about...literally anything, even just how my day's been or a silly gif, and if you're too nervous to reveal yourself send it anonymously; i have submissions open, so feel free to send those, too; reply to one of my posts; talk to me in the tags of a reblog; tag me in a post you think i'd like; whatever!

and thanks for all the boops. it was fun. 0:]

[barbatoskisser]

Hello humans! Quick warning - I spam sometimes and I just reblog ang type wtv. Consider this q blog full of whatever catches my eye. May contain smut but I try to keep this as sfw & friendly as possible <3

Pronouns here for those who want to compliment but dunno how <3 (i love you all, i need to update it, but its pretty accurate for now!)

Commissioms OPEN 0/5 link here for info

PSA - not terribly active due to irl reasons!! Dw, ill explain everything once I have a chance. But yeah, I'm mostly on discord because thats where a lot of my friends congregate. May still reblog occassionally. Asks are always open, just might take a min for me to respond !

Name

Adin River Barbatos

Age

19...somehow? I don't know either.

Pronouns

He/Its but if it/its just feels awkward to you, they/them is fine (in moderation). Primarily I use he/him though.

Rules / Guidelines

Very much basically just don't be an asshole to me or my mutuals and to protected groups. I support palestine and ukraine, gay and trans, and I'm far from neurotypical. I'm white too, but nyeh. Overall I dont support racism, zionism, homophobia, transphobia, and abelism. Be nice. Not as enforced but if your a minor and think "oh hey neat! A sfw adult blog!" Thats cool but dont be surprosed if I randomly rb a venti smut or spicy venti, lyney, xingqiu, or aether fanart. I fullhearted consider all above as adults and now willing to debate it. If you don't think so, just block me. If genshin ever says directly "[character] is under 18 years of age." And its one of the few, then no shit I'll get rid of this but otherwise it stays up. Eitherway, yeah, no promises i wont reblog spicy occassionally. Be warned and dont interact with that stuff unless ur a legal adult. Also, preferrably, keep drama to a minimum. If a mutual of mine, or someone ypu may think of as a mutual of mine, does something problematic send me a dm and be respectful about it. I'll investigate and if I find it absolutely appalling I'll no longer be friends with them. But just know 9 times out of 10, I really dont care about what my friends post about (see: "problematic" fics. I DON'T CARE. If it doesnt involve in real life humans, i do not give less of a shit.) Unless its in real life that someone did sonething illegal then I'll give a shit. Otherwise, yeah, i'll side with my friends. No offense.

Friends

@definesanity , @archaicanathema , @gunterdon , @unkownknowledge , @pale-value , just to name a few. They're all great [chefs kiss]. I'm always open to gaining more mutuals, but preferably be 16 or older. I don't understand gen alpha or anyone under 16. They confuse me. Henceforth; please be over that age otherwise I'll feel like I'm talking to a toddler. And i doubt you wsnt to be treated like a toddler. Anyone born past the 2010s atp is a toddler to me. I'm a 2005s kid.

Species

Am catboy future vtuber / streamer with secret human. Hint, a friend of mine. Also, if you ask my friend gunter, he'll say eldritch creature. So, honestly, who knows ~ ehe.

Fandoms/Interests

Hunter x Hunter, Genshin Impact, Ouran High School Host Club, Lunasmr audios, That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime...If its popular enough, I've probably watched it. I used to play Honkai Star Rail, but I've since fallen out of it. Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear, some others. Essentially, quite a number of modern isekai. Up to Overhaul arc of my hero academia with no plans on finishing, all of Hunter x Hunter, all of Dragom Ball Z, up to the universe tournament arc in Super, All of Slime in the anime adaptation. Though i do have webnovel spoilers. By the grace of the gods (pleasw someone yell at me about it. I beg you), Lowkey getting into Monkey Kid lego edition

Okay as I'm rewriting this I've watched a lot, and I mean a lot of shit. So ask me about a show if its not on here. The only ones I can say I haven't watched are demon slayer, attack on titan, naruto, and one piece. Maybe one day, but certainly not today. Currently about to start a few new series. On youtube I'm starting to watch Grian and Kaboodle. Damn their fun. I dont know if its on here, too lazy to check, but also pLEASE ALSO YELL TO ME ABOUT IRUMA KUN. I LOVE IRUMA KUN SM. I NEED MORE IRUMA KUN MOOTS.

Favorite character(s)

Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecss, Venti / Barbatos, Goku, Illumi Zoldyck, Ryoma Takebayoshi, Alluka and Nanika Zoldyck, Kurapika Kurta, Izuku Midoriya, Shouto Todoroki, Rimuru Tempest / Satoru Mikami, Milim, Veldora Tempest, Paimon, Xiao, Gorou, Lyney, Lynette, Arlechhino, Furina, Zhongli / Rex Lapis, Focalors, Karma Akabane, Korosensei, Nagisa Shiota, the rezt are kinda forgettable. Mavuika, Nahida, Mualani, Kachina, and more to come. I love so many different characters its not even funny.

Other Things

Congrats if you've read down this much! Here would be a secret code for a silly but the co-conspirator said no. You'll have to wait!

[kuromi-hoemie]

I saw your post about wanting to torture someone with tickles. Hope I'm not stepping over the line to say hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii about it

you're not but i was talking about irl 🫡

also bc i don't really talk about it ig, the secret to whether I'm receptive/flirty/etc with you (generally, not you specifically, this is a turn and talk at the audience moment) is i will leave you little earnest love notes in the tags of your selfies when i reblog them.

don't post face? ❌ not interested

do but i never interact? ❌ not interested

like... a girl just likes to be open about what she's thinking and i love giving compliments just bc and do it all the time both on and offline, so there's def not any expectations w my tags, but they can also be taken as a tiny bow of courtship u can choose to act on or not 🙇🏾‍♀️

i know other ppl are very into anons or just hitting it off with anybody or whatever but i think that like. For Me, the ideal interaction is we both rb each other with some nice tags - showing and reciprocating in a very non-committal/no expectations kinda way, and after seeing that it's mutual then sure go for it 👍🏾

i love sharing audio sometimes and tbh might start moving nudes/lewds back to more private channels bc i forgot How Many People you have to block after posting them lmaoo.

🫵🏾 but i do appreciate tags being left for me and tbh sometimes i miss that accounts that usually post their body also Do share their face and they're very hot and i feel very silly for missing it ಠ⁠ᴥ⁠ಠ ♡⁠ hi oomfies sorry for being late to the party but it's good to be here.

anyways. i like this more subtle/non-committal kind of acknowledgement first, bc if i get asks or DMs i either have to ignore it or tell people I'm not attracted to them which is always really awkward 😶‍🌫️ especially for people I've never even talked to before, or people who take the tiniest bit of very simple acknowledgement and flood my DMs over everything.

which again, compliments are fine, but like.. a Talk To Me mindset bundled with it is imposing u guys 👉🏾👈🏾 just bc someone is cute doesn't mean they have to talk to u, just bc they say thank u to an unsolicited DM doesn't mean they want u to send a dozen more. without even getting a response to any of them too.... 🥸

I'm just kinda here to have fun and i like sharing myself and my thoughts to different degrees but none of it is rly an open invitation or a request. just keep it in the tags pls. tags r what usually pique my interest anyhow!! i like people who got something to say 🙇🏾‍♀️

i want to reemphasize this is a very general message and not at u specifically, there r other asks in my inbox and other persistent ppl who have been blocked over spamming my DMs, and this feels too nuanced and specific to add to my already long and kind of annoyed sounding (bc it is 💀) pinned. so yeah!!!!! i did get a lot of new followers recently so it's a good time for a periodic reminder

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Cool for the Summer 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, power dynamics, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After finishing your degree, you return home only to find things aren’t as you left them.

Characters: Bucky Barnes

Note: Humping it up on hump day.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You taste the cocktail and make a face. As sweet as it is, the alcohol is stringent in your throat. You set the glass down as Bucky’s fingers tap on his pint. You glance up, surprised to find him watching you. 

"Don't like it?" He asks. 

"Mm, no, I mean yes. No." You stutter out. "It's good, I just... don't drink much." 

"She's a good girl." Your mom teases. "I always had to push her out the door. Oh, don't even ask about prom." She grabs his forearm and cackles. "You would think buying a dress would be fun. Nope. I think she'd have rather gone to the dentist." 

Your cheeks turn hot. Four years past and you still cringe at the fitting room torture. You look down and fiddle with the cutlery wrapped in a red napkin. You really wish she wouldn't treat you like a child. You suppose at times you might act like one. 

"Those things can be tough. I barely remember mine. Only went so my buddy didn't feel like such a loser," Bucky shrugs. "But look at how far you've come. I'm sure high school is like a blip on the radar. Now the real fun begins, huh?" 

You know he's trying to help and you appreciate. But it only makes your chest tighten. The dread throbs in your temples. Life, it's all ahead of you but you have no idea where to start. 

"Yeah, I... I barely remember." You talk to the table. 

"She's a smart one," your mom praises. "I really lucked out. No teenage angst, no rebellion." 

You chew your lip and pick at the trim of the table. You sound lame. You are and you never minded the safety of that trait. Still, you'd like to be known as more than a boring little bookworm. 

"Okay, here we are." The server rescues you from further humiliation. "Chicken caesar." 

She puts your salad in front of you, "cheese steak sammy and macaroni salad." She lays a plate in front of Bucky, "and the sizzling fajitas." 

Another server appears with a wooden plank, set with a cast iron pan atop it and fixings; tortillas, salsa, guac. It smells delicious but you know it's too early for all that. You'd be even sleepier and you still have to get unpacked.  

"Enjoy," the waitress smiles and struts away. 

You unwrap your cutlery and use the knife and fork to shred the lettuce. You should've known better than to order salad. It's always so awkward to eat with others around to see. 

"Mm, pretty good," Bucky says. "Lauren, how's that extravaganza? Really went all out." 

"Wasn't expecting all this." Your mother scoops grilled peppers into a tortilla, daintily with her fork as her nails shine in the light. You remember when you asked to get a manicure and she said they were impractical... 

She's changed but you don’t feel all that different than when you left for college. Maybe you should have tried harder. Well, it's not like your life is over. Far from. 

"How about you?" Bucky prompts and once more you meet his gaze with a startled blink. You nod and swallow. 

"Good. Just boring old salad." You say. 

"Always chicken caesar," your mother chirps. "Creature of habit. Don't worry. You'll hardly be surprised. By tonight, she'll have one of her books and you won't hear another peep." 

You bite down on your tongue. You're not sure anymore if she's bragging or she's chiding you. Her life is so exciting now. Her hair is highlighted, her nails are filled, and her makeup... she's actually wearing makeup. 

"Didn't think you could work with those." You say as she catches her nail on her napkin. 

"Oh, yeah, I'm not in the ward anymore. Sweetie, didn't I tell you? I do clinicals now. I just show the new ones what to do. Not much hands-on stuff." 

"Uh, I remember. Sorry." 

"Too sharp," Bucky chuckles. "Can't even hold her hand without getting clawed." 

She jabs him with her shaped tip and he grunts. They laugh together and you look around. You're the sore thumb sticking out. Ever the third wheel. Even when you had 'friends', you sat on the sidelines, confused by their inside jokes. 

"It's very good. Thank you." You sit forward and focus on the salad. The sooner this is over, the sooner you can do exactly what your mom expects. Hide with a book. Alone. 

🩵

Home is always a comforting sight but not as much as you expect. A flicker of guilt sparks in your chest. Bucky just bought you lunch, you shouldn’t be so negative. Still, you just want to unwind after a long day of traveling. 

As much as you want him to just go, you would never say as much. Your mom seems happy with him. She even seems healthier. It’s nice to see her taking care of herself, she’s done enough of that for others for too long. 

You get out of the car but Bucky’s too fast. He has you bag in his hand before you can react to the trunk opening. He smiles and insists, “I got it. You lead the way.” 

“Mm, I could nap about now,” your mother calls over the car roof. 

You agree internally. The whole train ride, you looked forward to burying yourself in blankets and leaving the world behind. It would be rude to do so with company around, even if they aren’t yours.  

You follow your mom to the front door and she unlocks it with a yawn. You enter and slip your shoes off on the mat. Things are different. Not too different, you can’t quite place everything. Yet you notice that the coat rack has been replaced with mounted hooks across the wall and the rug at the bottom of the stairs is new. 

“Oh!” Your mom spins, surprising you before you can sneak past her. “I forgot about your surprise!” 

You look at her then over your shoulder at Bucky as he plunks down your bag. You wait for him to respond. He just offers a small curve of his lips. You turn back. 

“You,” your mom taps your nose. “Come on. Ah,” she waves around you at Bucky, “bring her bag with you.” 

Your mom grabs your arm and ushers you upstairs. You can’t resist, too swept up in fatigue and confusion. He follows behind you. What’s happening? 

“Okay. I hope you like it,” she goes to your door and your stomach flips. Oh no, what did they do? She swings the door open and backs up, waving inside, “tada!” 

You hesitate but make yourself step into the doorway. You glance around and your mouth slowly falls open. You blink at the room. Wow. 

It’s not awful, just another change you’re not ready for. Instead of your old rectangle bookcases, new circle ones have been built into the walls; white instead of brown. Your bed is the same but the wood is newly re-stained and the bedding is shade of pink you wouldn’t necessarily choose. A heart shaped rug is spread across the floor and your previous desk has been replaced with one that folds into the wall. 

There is an entirely new piece that stands out. A vanity in the corner. The mirror is the same shape as the carpet and the stool has a fluffy seat. 

“Oh, wow...” you utter as you step further inside. 

“Bucky is so handy! I always wanted to do this but I didn’t know where to start. Oh, just wait until you see his place,” she rambles as she trails you. “He built the whole thing himself.” 

“I had help,” he tuts and sets your bag down. “Tried not to do too much but just added a fresh coat to everything.” 

You’re silent.  

“Sweetie?” Your mom touches your arm. 

“I’m... surprised. That’s all.” 

“She’s speechless, Bucky!” She squeals and claps her hands. “I knew she’d love it.” 

“Heh, yeah. Well, I hope it isn’t too much.” He rubs his neck as he looks around. “You can let me know. I can change whatever you need.” 

“No, no, it’s really nice. Like really. I...” you wring a finger in your other hand. “Thank you.” 

“Lauren,” he sidles past you and nudges your mother gently. “Why don’t we let her get settled in? I’m sure she’s beat from the road.” 

“Right, right,” she beams around the room before she faces him. “Of course.” She glances over at you, “sweetie, let us know if you need anything, okay?” 

“Mom, I’m fine.” You show your teeth sheepishly and hover around the wall. 

Bucky leaves first, your mom following as she cranes to stare at the room. She leaves you with an excited wiggle and you go to close the door behind her. Once it’s shut, you sigh. You weren’t ready for any of this. Somehow coming home has proven even more disjointing than going away to college. 

You plod to the bed and flop onto it. You roll onto your back and let your eyes rove. It is so cute. You would have killed for a room like this in high school, even on campus. Yet it does seem a lot. You’re sure once you get a job, your mom doesn’t expect you to stay too long. 

Maybe this is a good thing. A little less pressure on you to get out but not exactly. With Bucky hanging around, you can’t help but be in the way. You’re not the only one who needs to adjust to your return. 

You can worry about it all later. For now, you need to close your eyes and stop thinking. 

🩵

The afternoon wears on as you dawdle away on your phone. You can barely keep your eyes open as the screen glares back at you. It’s almost six when you make yourself stop the addictive word game.  

You lay listless, trying to urge yourself to get up and do something. You lose the battles as your eyes close and you drift off without realising it. In your subconscious, you’re just as you are in reality. Just lying there, motionless and mindless. 

You wake slowly as pressure squeezes in your pelvis. Your bladder forces you to action. Even with the painful weight throbbing inside, you move without urgency. You sit up slowly, dizzy from the unexpected doze. You stand and shuffle to the door. 

You leave it open as you go into the hall and let your feet guide you. Habit takes down to the bathroom door and you reach for the handle. It turns from the other side and you recoil in surprise. Bucky stops short as he emerges and apologises. 

You stammer as you gape back at him. Somehow after the whirlwind morning, you forgot all that change. In your grogginess, you didn’t see the new walls or the white bookcases or think. 

“S...Sorry...” you murmur.  

You’re consumed in radiating heat as you stare at the stubble along his neck. Any lower and he might be embarrassed. He is shirtless after all. You’ve never been the best at looking people in the face but you have no choice. You examine his silver-streaked hair, slightly tussled, and his grizzly beard with its dusting of white along his chin. 

You step back as he raises a palm and dips his head. “No problem. Gotta get used to each other, I guess. Bad timing, is all.” 

“Right,” you agree dully. 

He looks back at you and his forehead creases. “You okay?” 

You wince. “Yeah, why?” 

“Nothing, nothing. Just... you look... a little out of it.” 

“I fell asleep,” you run your fingers along your throat nervously. The motion catches his eyes. Their startling blue hue gleam in the light. 

“Right. I figured you needed it. Long ride...home.” His gaze flicks up to meet yours. “Sorry you’re stuck here with us boring old people. You probably miss it already.” 

You shrug, “not really.” 

“Not really? What about your friends?” He rests his hand on the door frame and leans. 

“Didn’t... just study buddies. Classmates.” You look away and shift as your bladder aches. 

He clears his throat and stands straight. He steps out of the frame and you jump at his sudden movement. He touches your hip to keep from colliding with you and sidles by. 

“I’ll just get out of your way, baby girl,” He squeezes, his hand lingering for a moment. “Welcome home.” 

He lets go and turns, strutting down the hall as you stand frozen. You hurry forward and shut yourself in the bathroom as you scramble with the sudden agonizing pang. You don’t have time to think, you have to go! 

[2309analysis]

⌗ | RULES ⛲️ - Saturn ‘s Tumblr

1. Please do not spam my works. I don’t want to get over flooded with notifications of you liking me. I appreciate the love, I really do. Although, reblogging is just as appreciated and it’s more beneficial. Please be wary of this. 3 - 5 posts a day.

2. Please do not put NSFW content in my replies unless if stated that you can. * (Which will be mostly never) * I don’t want to be associated with it. It honestly discomforts me if somebody randomly associated me with smut & nudes without knowing. It just irks me thinking about it.

3. No slurs. Please. I find them very stupid and stressful to deal with. Regardless of race or heritage, I won’t allow it here. You will be blocked if provoked by me. You get two warnings.

4. Please don’t insult others in my replies. It’s unnecessary, opinions are opinions. Not facts. It’s my job to answer those, not yours. If you have questions over them, ask, don’t harass. Don’t be a prick. Gives you a very big reputation.

5. My NSFW will be very minimal, and I will probably barely post any. So, 15+ with them. If you’re underage please do not interact. * (Replies, reblogs) * I prefer not to have younger eyes pry on my work. You’re allowed to read my regular stories though. It’s for everyone unless stated otherwise.

6. Consecutive criticism. It will be the only one I allow. If you have any writing or editing advice to give me, I’m free to hear it. Although I won’t accept you guys just calling me out on my mistakes and expecting me to know what’s immediately wrong with it. That is rude and disrespectful towards the artist. At least give some feedback and reason why.

7. If you catch any mistake within my writings, please directly message me. I don’t like having those exposed. I’m a bit insecure about my writing, so I prefer it if you’re private with it. Please and thank you. I’ll respect your mistakes too, and directly message you on them as well.

8. You guys are allowed to send me messages / questions. I have no guarantee I’ll immediately reply. Remember, I am busy too, I have my own life outside my phone and & platforms. If I don’t reply within a week or two, you’re allow to message me again. Or send me a question asking me to reply. I will get to you as soon as I can. I do not have the best motivations to get to my messages.

9. Please be aware of what and how you’re saying things. Some people might feel uncomfortable about what you could say. So please be wary of the topics & comments you’re about to say. Remember, not everyone is like you, and you don’t know them personally.

10. Please put "TW" before sending something with possible triggers. You may not know if they will trigger someone because of personal reasons. No you will not ask for them unless they're comfortable telling you, and if they are please dm that stuff. <- For the triggers.

11. If someone sends something that offends please don't blow up at them and act they know it's not right or that they knew it would offend you, like with misunderstandings it's too dramatic to deal with. Also if they don't feel the need to explain just ignore them for a while, it they make you upset then don't talk to them.

12. * (This kinda goes with rule 11.) * Please do not send any personal attacks to someone. Also don't make it another's problem, if you need someone to support you with something, please go dm.

13. Please don't use anything that others find annoying, upsetting, or triggering to get their attention, under their skin, or just to be a prick. If they would like you to stop saying these certain things then stop it, once should be enough. I will block you.

14. Cussing. You’re completely allowed to cuss in my, just be responsible and respectful with it. Please do not cuss every third word. It makes it awkward and a bit immature.

15. Please do not spam in the comments. It’s not going to be a fun game when you’re blocked. I don’t want others to feel pressured, and same regards to me too. If you have a request, send it through questions. If you have a questions, dm them. You’re allowed a discuss in replies, and reply to others. Just don’t overload with them.

Hello this isn't a rule more like a comforting reminder. Your emotions are valid, if you're angry that's okay, if you don't wanna talk, that's okay, if you're down or upset, that's okay.

Please don't feel guilty for not being at your best while talking to someone here, that is what vents are for. To help you guys through problems you're currently going through.

That is all for now! I hope you guys read these careful and keep them in consideration. You can always come back here to relook at them. It is not embarrassing, it is necessary. Do not feel ashamed for forgetting a few rules. We all do.

I hope y’all have a wonderful rest of your day! I hope these rules are reasonable enough, and if you have any recommendations or suggestions / questions, feel free to give them to me in replies! If you do not want to reply it, dm or give it as a question. I don’t not mind anyway you do it! You are heard and I want to make sure you know it! ^^

[sttoru]

Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)

[aria0fgold]

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Hello! My name is Aria! Am 24 years old >:3

I also recently found out that I'm a system! So far I have 6 headmates so I can put their names on my intro post too! There's:

Alerik (I mainly refer to them as Aly). He uses any pronouns! He's also been with me the longest! Ever since I was little apparently :o

Vita. They/It pronouns for it!

Elegy (Elle is her nickname we sometimes use!). She/They/It pronouns for her!

Galahad (Gonna give em the Gala nickname!). He/They pronouns!

Albireo (My nickname for em is Swan! Vita's nickname for em is Almond though!). They use any pronouns :3

Luca. He/him pronouns!

Cerulean (Giving her the nickname Cers!) It uses any pronouns!

Any pronouns okay for me! I don't mind really! I use she/her for myself :3

Am writer! Aria0fGold in ao3 too! And I'm also a beginner artist :D My brain rotates between the many interests that I have so! I'll list out the ones I talk bout the most but for now have the:

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List of My OMORI AUs

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And to the list of my interests that you'll see me talking about a lot in here!

Mahoutsukai no Yakusoku (mahoyaku/mhyk) / Promise of Wizard - My favourite characters in it are Cain Knightley (<-the one that got me into it) and Owen! (<- love him by extension of being a Cain fan). I especially love their caiowe ship too!

In Stars and Time - New interest! Yippee!!! Got into isat and will never get out. I love this game so much. It is everything to me.

OMORI - The hyperfixation that prompted this blog creation. Although I'm not hyperfixated on it anymore, it still holds a special place in my heart.

Persona 5, and by extension, Magic Kaito - Now... They're two different medias... But well you see-- I am a Joker (from p5) and Kaito (from magic kaito) shipper, the captain of it, if you will. So most of the time I talk bout p5 I also end up talking bout magic kaito (mainly just Kaito though).

My OCs!!! - I love my OCs a lot and I talk bout them a lot and I think about them a lot and I--

I also talk about my other interests too from time to time but those ↑ are the ones you'll see me talking about the most! Along with some random things from me cuz I can be quite talkative!

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Here's a list of some of the tags I use the most!

aria rants - for when I talk about nearly anything!

aria rbs - for when I reblog things! (aria srb for self-reblogs)

arianswer - for when I answer asks!

ariart - for my art! :D

ariawrites - for my writing! >:3 (this is also accompanied by the media tag of what I wrote about)

ariau - for my AUs! So far have used it for my OMORI AUs though.

ariaoc - for my OCs!!! (this is also accompanied by ariaoc: [oc name here])

ariaplays: [name of game here] - for the rare occurrences of me liveblogging some of my reactions to a game! (I've used it for aitsf and isat in which case the tag becomes, ariaplays: aitsf and ariaplays: isat)

»──────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────«

And lastly! A little more stuff about me!

I LOVE CAIN KNIGHTLEY! I LOVE OWEN! I LOVE CAIOWE!!!

Ahem, anyway... I!... I.......! I don't know what to put here actually... I like! Pink. Have you noticed that? I like! Mili. Their songs are always soooo good at beaming the exact emotion it conveys straight to your brain. I like! Many things... Well... I said I was talkative but I didn't quite say that my thoughts are coherent... I tend to keysmash a lot! It's the best way I can convey whatever thought and emotion I have about anything.

Anyway, anyway! Feel free to send me asks :D It can be about anything really! And feel free to tag me! Or send dms! I like interacting with people but I tend to be a bit awkward with it... Am shy! And anxious! But if you're a mutual then well... I'm a little less shy and anxious! More comfy! I love my mutuals <3

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[thatrandomgaloffthestreet]

(intro post below)

hi, im emily!! you can also call me "em", call me "gal", or call me by any other emily-related nickname (idc how you do/don't capitalize it). im a 23 year old bi lesbian genderfluid transfem puppygirl, and im... bad at introducing myself. i always feel so awkward!! but i'll try to anyway (and i'll try to keep things up to date along the way) !!

i'm "radically" inclusive, which really just means i'm actually inclusive. queer people can do whatever they want forever; it's our choice alone what labels we use! disabled people know their disabilities, even if they didn't jump through hoops to get a doctor to double check it! systems don't need a checklist to prove their own existence! if you don't understand something- ask me! i'm happy to tell you what something means, and if i don't know either, i can point you in the right direction!

i also strive to be considerate of all marginalized and struggling people, but i don't always get it right, so feel free to let me know if i say something harmful! let's try to encourage each other to be considerate with our language 💕

i stream on twitch with my headmate @nyxisnotafictive!! it's nice and comfy there, and you can watch me flail around while listening to my audhd rambling! you can also check old VODs or watch our edited videos on youtube!!

i tend not to follow fandom stuff too too hard, but when i do you can expect things like guilty gear, celeste, deltarune, honkai star rail, and a variety of other things. i mostly just reblog whatever i think is cool.

i sometimes post and reblog nsft/suggestive posts. they generally go untagged, but i do tag especially nsft posts with #emilyisflustered if you want to avoid that!

all the art of nyx and i is done by @sleepymrshmllow; you should absolutely go follow them!!

also i don't bite!! almost to a fault!! i love to hear from people so feel free to dm me, especially if we're mutuals! be warned, i will overshare and infodump about whatever i'm obsessed with given the opportunity.

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I am really needing Advice and I don't have many people in my life that can help.

Here in the fandom I am wanting to reach out and try and make friends with of the members but I ......just don't know how.

I don't want to freak anyone out I just want some friends from here people to chat with and get to know.

I really enjoy my interactions with some of the members I just very socially awkward.

Hey there, anon! First off, I want to assure you you’re definitely not alone in this fandom and thank you for judging me an appropriate person to help. I’m definitely very socially awkward as well (even if it doesn’t show much since I’ve gotten very comfortable around here), so I’ve been there. I’ll share what I’d do in your situation (basically, what I’ve been doing since the fandom began sgksbsjsbs), I hope some of it can be of help to you <3

How to make friends in the fandom:

1- Discord

I, personally, do not really use discord chats. But I did back at the beginning, and they’re an amazing way to find people in the fandom to chat with! Essentially the etiquete of discord (as far as I know) is that you’re welcome to join in on conversations that are already happening, so you don’t need to stress about intruding. I’m pretty sure the biggest Hilda discord is Hilda Guild-a, but the tumblr community also has the Hilda Fandom Network. I (and any other member) can send you a link to the latter if you’re interested and don’t mind shooting one of us a DM! There’s also a sketchbook discord (and I’m assuming you’d be interested in talking about sketchbook since you’re. You know. *gestures vaguely around my blog* here), but I’ve been trying to find the link for jetcat for weeks and still haven’t managed to 🫠 wish you a better luck than mine, anon

2- Tags!

If you’re a person who makes content for the fandom — and I don’t just mean fics or art; shitposts and meta count too — pay attention to the people who not only reblog your stuff, but leave tags adding their thoughts/agreeing with you/screaming as well. They will probably be more open for dialogue since they not only already know you, but also like what you do and how you think!

Likewise, interact with the people you want to get closer to! You have probably already gotten a feel of some bloggers in the fandom, so make sure to reblog the posts you like from the people who sound kind and interesting to you, and let them know what you think!! This way they, too, will know you’re open for dialogue

(Also in this fandom it’s very common that we check the tags on our posts and answer them if there’s anything to be answered; so it’s already an unobtrusive way to get a blogger’s attention!)

3- Asks :O

See, you’re off to a good start! xD

Probably the main reason why I refuse to move on from tumblr, tbh. Asks are just so useful when you’ve already had some interactions with a blogger via their posts and want to talk more. You can always ask about safe topics; if it’s an artist or fic writer, I assure you they’ll be delighted to talk about their work. Also sending jokes or thoughts about characters/ships the person likes, or just about the series, is also imo a very nice thing to do :)

4- DMs (*sinister music playing*)

Okay, this is the scary part that you probably want to be careful with (I know I always want to, at least)

Once you’ve been interacting with people for some time in the ways I already mentioned, you might try sending them direct messages (this is especially acceptable if you’re mutuals btw, though that’s just unspoken etiquete and not a Rule of any kind). Depending on how long you’ve been in each other’s orbit, you might send them a fandom thought (that could admittedly have been an ask, but sending it in a DM will make it even clearer you’re interested in chatting), a post that reminded you of them and you think they might like, or even something a little more personal. I truly think this step will rely a lot on you sensing what is the most appropriate course of action

From then on I’d say it’s relatively easy (even for socially awkward people such as you and I) to sense whether the person you’ve approached is also interested in having a back and forth or if they’re just being polite. But either way, if you ever want to ask them (or even begin the chat by asking) if it’s they’re okay with getting DMs and/or apologizing if you’re being in any way intrusive, I think that’s a pretty chill thing to do. I can’t really see anyone in this fandom telling you “no”, but it’s still polite and would put your heart at ease evekvdjdbsjdb

Honestly, this is a cookie cutter-ification of a process that is generally organic, but as a general rule it’s what works for me. You might want to keep in mind that up until last year I was only in DM terms with *counting on fingers* uh. One (1) (☝️) person in the fandom, so I might not be The best person for you to copy xD though that might also be just because I wasn’t necessarily looking to make friends over here. It sort of just happened haha

Honestly, the bottom line is just that this fandom is filled with lovely people and I think wanting to make friends is all but a guaranty that you will. Something that I’ve learned from experience that helped me a lot to keep in mind is that if you’re afraid of being intrusive or impolite, you most likely won’t be. Just from the way you worded the ask, you sound pretty sweet!

I do hope you find what you’re looking for, and that you have a lovely time at the Hilda tumblr! Have a lovely day, dear 💜

[sinking-into-mist]

Hello friend, from the very start you had my heart 🖤❤️. Thank you for joining the Dark Side and being a part of the BC Wolfpackfamily 🐺 here on Tumblr. Please remember that even the darkest days will end and Another Sun ☀️ will rise. Together we are never a Bad Idea but strong like Giants ✊️. #10yearsofblindchannel & many more to come!

Omg that's so sweet! 😭 Thank YOU for being a part of the fandom! ❤️🥰

I remember scrolling through the BC tag in summer 2021, wanting to join because everyone seemed so nice and fun. But it took months until I finally gathered the courage to make an account and start reblogging stuff. 🙈 At the time I was really lonely, and had pretty much accepted that that's just how my life would be. But seeing BC's friendships and watching the fandom from the sidelines made me wish I had friends too, and eventually I decided to take a chance. I wasn't really expecting to make actual friends, but hoping to occasionally message with people and maybe feel a bit less lonely.

That was almost 2 years ago now, and seriously the BCtumblr has made my life so much better, more than I could have ever dared to dream of! 🥺 I've actually found friends, some that I message with quite regularly and others with more occasionally. Even met some of them irl, and everyone's been lovely! 🥰 There's one person especially who has become very very important and we chat daily, not naming names here but you know who you are dear and I'm so lucky to know you 💕

I'm aware that there's drama also in this fandom, but I can honestly say that everyone I've personally chatted with has been really kind and wonderful. ❤️ And all the mutuals that I haven't talked with (yet) seem great too, and I love seeing you on my dash and notifications! 💖

All in all I feel like BCtumblr is pretty chill and nice and understanding! Maybe somewhat awkward and anxious, but generally friendly 😄 So on the off chance that someone who's been nervous about joining the fandom has read this whole post, I want to say: do it. Make an account and reblog posts and see where it goes. Maybe send a nice ask or DM or comment if you feel like it. I'm pretty sure most of us like getting messages, as long as they're not hate mail. 😅 And sometimes one simple message is the start of a great friendship! ����

This post got a lot longer than I intended to, oops! 😅 But I'm just so grateful for this community, and felt like this was a good time to say it. Thank you everyone ❤️❤️

[love-songs-for-emma]

This isn't an ask as such, it didn't seem appropriate to pull it out of the tags to reblog to empathize over our related losses.

Also, I am so autistic, so I worry about going about things wrong so my apologies upfront if this breaks Tumblr social norms, but also I guess the older sibling in me, just couldn't leave that unacknowledged in my tags.

Hi hello I am the op of the Hannibal's defiance of god post

I'm an older sibling, though it doesn't matter the details of how I lost my baby brother, it should have been preventable, and even had it not been, it makes the universe feel stormily unbalanced in my experience, losing a sibling, just a big hole of overwhelming emotions where there used to be so much life

Anyway I don't want to be soppy in your DM's or whatever, I just wanted to send you a big brother hug I guess, some empathy and support at least. No matter how long it's been, there is always that empty place where your sibling is supposed to be

Then I saw that you're also chronically ill & disabled on my way over here, so apparently we have other things in common that are less heart wrenching so I am also generally saying hello, nice to meet you, in the most awkward way possible. *Waves like a strange nervous little gremlin*

(post being referenced)

hi !! first off,, if you'd rather i didnt answer this publicly *pls* lmk and ill remove the post asap. i'm also a gremlin who's unsure of tumblr social norms from time to time lol

secondly,, thank u So so much for reaching out. this was incredibly sweet of u & made me v emotional to read (/positive). *a big hug from a younger grieving sibling right back at you*

there is so much to say about losing a sibling and i worry if i start, i'll never stop (which is already true seeing as it's been years and i've written countless words about this specific grief). i relate so much to the things you've said here; dead siblings are a phantom limb we'll always be trying to move. i don't think there'll come a day where something big happens and i don't think of calling them.

there's a reddit comment i came across years ago talking about grief that i'll never forget and i think it's always worth sharing, especially to someone like you who i think will appreciate and understand it:

"In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life."

and because i can't shut up about grief, here's a spoken word poem that brings me comfort. particularly the ending,

"We are not created or destroyed, // We are constantly transferred, shifted and renewed. // Everything we are is given to us. // Death does not come when a body is too exhausted to live // Death comes, because the brilliance inside us can only be contained for so long. // We do not die. We pass on, pass on the lightning burning through our throats. // When you leave me I will not cry for you // I will run into the strongest wind I can find // And welcome you home."

i don't know what i believe in this world, but i know that our siblings do live on through us, in all the ways they affected us and the stories we tell. and this pain will be with us forever, but there is a life to be lived in between all of that. and sharing them with others is part of it. and it is a gift to have known them and get to share them in moments like this with others.

gah! i know u came here to comfort me (despite me giving u all these comforting words in return too) but u truly *have*; i feel comforted by being given a space to talk about them. i imagine you feel it too: the way it's a little taboo to talk of the dead at all, the avoidance of statements that make people ask questions. i try to still talk freely about the ones i've lost, but people hear "dead" and don't think of a real person who once was Everything to u and So Full Of Life. (similar to what i was saying in the tags of your god post,, mischa is more than just a Dead Girl Trauma Backstory of hannibal's. she's real. she was there. she was *alive*.)

if you've made it through all that,, well congrats! you've got a peek into our new friendship; i am either silent (overwhelmed/Goin Thru It) or saying All Of The Words Ever! regardless, thank u again for reaching out & i'm happy to have met you, even and especially if thru a lil trauma-bonding. hehe♡ be well, luv!