#i just feel so awful all the time
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‘thank you avogado’ we all say in unison
#uhhhghgghhhuhhawawahahahagahgahahagah#i cant do this anymore#i just feel so awful all the time#every day i feel myself getting taller and broader and bigger#and my adams apple is growing and my brow bone is getting stronger and ughghahhhhgh#if god is real then why did he put me on this earth to feel like this#what forsaken reason do i feel like this#was this his grand design?? was my misery a part of his plan??#not only did god have to make me feel like this he also had to make me the most masculine fag ever#no matter which way i suck my stomach in or try to avoid myself eating or whatever i do i cant stop it#i can feel it all slipping though my fingers and i just dont know what to do#ughghhhghghhhhgh#ive started regularly cutting again so i cant call it relapse#i get no sleep anymore#i feel miserable all the time#and i dont know what to do#i feel like there is nothing i can do to get me out of this wretched hole ive fallen into#there’s no escaping it anymore#not a day goes by without someone saying im tall or my hands are big or my adams apple is showing or that im growing fast#i dont want this why did this have to happen to me why cant i have just been born a girl#ughhhhhh i hate this i hate this i hate this#i feel like tearing my hair out and then my skin out and then my eyes out and then whatever’s left of my#what is wrong with me
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Michael and Vanny had wild teen years in FNAF
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#vanessa fnaf#fnaf vanny#micheal afton#security breach#fnaf 4#fnaf fanart#MORE OF Vanny and Michael hanging out 🔥🔥#I like to think both Michael and Vanessa were problem kids#just part of that alt emo moody scene#makes sense seeing both their teen years were pretty complicated#Vannesa finds the photos cute! Think they could of gotten along#if they were born around the same time and all#while Michael believes he’d been awful#he’s definitely more embarrassed about these old photos#I HOPE yall like Vanessa’s teen design!!#I had a lot of fun designing a younger look for her..#her being a scene girl just feels so right#Hope I got both Michael and Vanessa’s vibes right 🩵💜
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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#art#fat positivity#body positivity#positivity#birblr#canary#doodle#Sorry I'm a bit all over the place at the moment guys#Had to spend time with my partner's fatphobic family#And I know I'm a thin guy so I am not like directly hurt by the things they believe#But it still was just an awful experience and I'm still kinda feeling that#And it infuriates me that me standing up for what's right is always framed as me being a delicate sensitive anorexic#You should treat fat people nice because they are people and deserve basic decency#I am not being overly sensitive by not wanting to hear your fatphobic crap#You're just not nice people#/rant over#Sorry for my little outburst guys! I am usually an easy going guy#I just get really riled up about this stuff#Fat people are wonderful and it is such a blessing to live in a world with such a huge range of different bodies!
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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Thinking about his brain
#fop nature au#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#fanart#doodle#He spends like all of his time irrationally terrified of going back to poverty#this was inspired by a panel change I had to make to the next comic im working on teehee teehee#originally I was going to have a funny gag of him describing how awful he felt#but I decided to change it because like. He would never admit that he felt bad#feeling bad is a sign of weakness. a sign of failure. a sign that he needs to try harder#like its not just Devs problems he's ignoring. he treats his own body pretty awfully too#not to write that entire thing off as a trauma response tho hes still objectively awful for not listening to his sons wishes#and he wouldn't have done the same if his own leg got as severely injured.#Having a leg amputated is scary he would have tried to salvage it#then again that is still arguably his fucked up version of love#I have thoughts ok!!!#he is so traumatized
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He was just being a silly little guy!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#wen ruohan#nie mingjue#lan xichen#JGY's character is the zigging and zagging guy of all time#We love a little meow meow that can bite and scratch and kill you.#We also love a little meow meow that can mewl pathetically!#'He's evil now and torturing his former friend?" ZAG TIME: He's a spy and feels soooo awful about it!!#ZIG TIME: He (probably) didn't need to go that deep into the role and kill as many people as he did.#Something I really love about the sworn brother trio is how they reflect how our feelings distort our perception of others.#Lan Xichen represents how when we love/care about someone -anything they do can be endearing. They aren't manipulative: they are clever.#Its less about rose tinted glasses and more about reframing every look you get of them. The constant justifications you make for them.#They just need a space to be loved! “They care for me so I will stand by them no matter what to show them I'm there for them!”#While NMJ represents how when you dislike someone - Everything they do is an affront or proof of their foul character.#Everything is a sign. Everything is 'proof' they are just as awful as you want them to be. Every 'good trait' is twisted.#The problem is that most people are just human. They are flawed and they are capable of good and bad things.#Meng Yao's motivations are very complex. Yet he's extremely human all the same. He isn't the saint nor the monster of the story.
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Bit of a weird question, but what is your overall least favorite thing about MLP? 
Sparity.
#magicalgrimm#ask me#there’s a later season episode (post spike getting wings) that Tulli and I could not finish because it was so awful#where rarity’s feeling lonely without spike who’s grown up and moved on from his crush on her#so she gets extremely clingy and manipulatey to get this. teenage boy to pay attention and worship her again#and rarity gets visibly jealous of spike spending time with another teenage dragon girl#it’s extremely extremely creepy. by FAR rarity’s absolute worst rock bottom moment#actual textbook groomer behavior#and even worse the episode kinda shits on rarijack where rarity tried to replace spike with applejack in helping her#but aj fails and fucks things up and isn’t right for the job. so the episode implies spike is a better match with rarity than applejack#it’s just all sorts of wrong eugh.#sparity just sucks so bad I can’t believe a good chunk of bronies still ship them or consider them a viable ship#I’m fine with spike having a kid crush on rarity it happens with kids#but the more the writers just kept teasing and toying and baiting it. overstayed its welcome#especially because they have no chemistry. spike doesn’t have a reason for liking rarity other than “hot woman in her mid-20s’
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THE RAVEN Star Trek: Voyager
#trekedit#startrekedit#star trek#treksource#startrekgifs#mine*#sd*#tvedit#voy#kathryn janeway#seven of nine#kate mulgrew#jeri ryan#the lighting of this scene is awful uuuugh#i just love the way she touches her face??#like... okay it looks like seven did not just say good night#but also kissed her and left#and she is sitting there thinking about it touching her face#ma'am mA'AM!#anyway im hating the catsuit even more on my rewatch#every time seven's on screen i feel like i can't breathe it is so tight it feels so uncomfortable#yall can hate picard all you want but im so glad it gave us seven in normal clothes#praying for captain seven show to happen PLEASE PLEASE UNIVERSE I NEVER AKSED ANYTHING BEFORE#except the times i asked something#but we need seven as captain we need her have her own ship and crew and show and her girlfriend as number one#we need it WE NEEEED IIIIIT
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My controversial opinion about Hob Gadling is that I believe he’s absolutely the sort of guy that “puts things behind him”, and tries to wash his hands clean of the things he feels icky about. This is implied pretty well in the show, with him blithely moving from soldiering and robbery to printing, from slaving to… whatever it was he was doing in the 19th century instead. That being said, this is not at all the same as actively trying to atone, or even making a concerted effort to be a better person, and I really wish fandom could tell the difference!
#the amount of times I’ve seen people argue that Hob has redeemed himself and ofc feels really horrible about his role in the slave trade#but there is ZERO textual indication that’s true#in fact judging by how he acts in the 19th century and how he was after all the other shit he did that he maybeeee feels kind of sheepish#and would just like to move on thanks!#i love flawed characters and I love monstrous characters and I love hypocrites and I love friendly amoral assholes#Hob is genuinely a super compelling character and embodies the sort of greed of humanity we see in other forms in Madoc and Burgess#he’s got a more friendly face and he’s a slightly lighter version of it but sandman presents humanity as fundamentally flawed and greedy#and Hob is that to a T#I’d really love it if fandom embraced this version of Hob#making him a fluffy anti-racist progressive hip college professor is just so weird#or especially when they have him espouse progressive views… in the past???#look Hob is actual facts a worse person than the Corinthian in a lot of metrics#when I see 17th century Hob talk about the beautiful diversity of humans I just lose my mind a little#also he’s clearly a wolf of Wall Street yuppie asshole in 1984#hot take Dreamling would be more fun and spicier if people leaned into Hob’s canon traits more#both Dream and Hob are kind of awful#I actually like Hob!#but… man I do not like fanon Hob one bit
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you ever think about how edwin got like. no warning, no time time to process, nothing, when he reappeared on earth faced with the fact that virtually everyone he knew in life is dead. his parents? probably died in the 1950s or so (at best) almost forty years prior to edwin’s return. if any of his classmates were still around, they’d have been elderly, possibly senile, and in a few years they’d all be gone– except, of course, edwin. nothing looks the same, cars look like spaceships, there actually are spaceships, he can no longer see the stars, and everyone he knew is dead.
#he may be dead too but he’s certainly not gone. he’s a lingering relic. something lost to time#that’s some existential dread on an incomprehensible level#like. he meets charles quite soon after returning from hell and it’s implied he’s pretty much just been haunting that schoolhouse in that#time right. so I seriously doubt he’d have visited– let alone even Found– his parents’ graves. I wonder if he ever did that with charles.#maybe charles providing him enough emotional support to feel like he could handle it.#I know that he wasn’t close to his parents in life– nor was he close with anyone that we know of– and yeah I think that’d definitely make#things a bit easier in certain ways; he never felt like he belonged in his time/place in life or amongst his family or peers#so being displaced from all that wouldn’t feel like losing very much#in a way#but… I mean still#and he inevitably would have those lingering thoughts of what could’ve been–#yes he could’ve died in the war and his life likely wouldn’t be very fulfilling considering he’d probably be forced into a marriage he#wouldn’t want or if he was found out he could’ve been imprisoned and ostracized and disowned. plenty of ways his life could’ve been awful if#but also what if his parents loosened up a little as the times did? as in- what if he actually got to know them? what if they tried to#have a relationship with him of some sort eventually? it’s not impossible#it’d have to eat at him. that and wondering if either of them felt guilty#or felt a loss. or anything#hoo boy. fun stuff#edwin#edwin payne#rambling#dead boy detectives
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Thinking about how if Shermy Pines. And like, if he is the baby, he’d be born in the 1970s and be 40 by 2012 and he’s already a grandad. He had to be a teen dad in the 80s (after a severe economic recession) and then his kid ended up being a teen parent by 1999 (Which is 8 years before ANOTHER SEVERE ECONOMIC RECESSION LOL)
Also he was born into a pretty broken family, probably rarely if ever saw his brothers. Do you think he ever saw Stanley before he had to start pretending to be Ford? Do you think Ford visited from college??? Because he didn’t seem confident facing his father until he made millions, so like???
And, like, do you think Filbrick and Caryn changed as parents by the time they raised Shermy? Because it seems like a trend that as parents get older they mellow out a bit, so Shermy probably has a completely different experience with their parents then Stan and Ford, and talking to them is just “is this seriously the same parents???” (Imagine the silent resentment that’d cause 😭😭😭)
Personally I headcannon that Shermy had a daughter (Mabel and Dipper’s mom) and not a son like it says on the wiki because c’mon. Can he just have a daughter. Idk why this is important to me but… c’mon. Can he just have a daughter. It just feels right to me.
#gravity falls#Shermy pines#sherman pines#him being the same age as my parents feels weird#also him and his kid would’ve had kids at like age 14#he’d be like 28 by the time Mabel and Dipper are born#CAN YOU IMAGINE#not even 30 yet#no wonder Mabel and Dipper’s parents are fighting#they got together in like freshman year#that’s if their actual parents are still together#is Shermy even alive tho? bc why didn’t Mabel and Dipper’s parents send them to their actual grandparents#maybe Shermy was an awful parent or something#or maybe he was busy with something else and Stanley was eager to take them#I imagine the call to ‘Stanford’ would’ve been like#‘hey I know you’re probably busy doing scientific research and all but#would you possibly be able to take Mabel and Dipper for the summer?’#and his reaction was just ‘YES. YES. ABSOLUTELY YES. WHEN CAN YOU SEND THEM OVER? CAN YOU SEND THEM OVER NOW???’#Or maybe they just remembered how happy Stan was when he saw Mabel and Dipper for the first time#supposedly he refused to give them back lol#so they’re like ‘hey he’s a lonely old guy. maybe he’d like to spend the summer with the kids’#bc they’re probably aware it’s a lot to ask for someone to take some kids for a WHOLE summer#also maybe Shermy just doesn’t live in a place suitable for kids#like ‘Stanford’ has a whole cabin in the woods#Shermy ‘I had to raise kids in an economic crisis’ Pines might live in an apartment or something#that or he’s dead.#how fucked up would it be if he ACTUALLY died in a car crash#and Stanley winces as his faked death didn’t age well
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I am the Same Person I was in August
"Oom Sha La La", Haley Heynderickx//"All That Wanting, Right?", Devin Kelly// "Funeral" Phoebe Bridgers//"Extracting the Stone of Madness", Alejandra Pizarnik// "Little Beast", Richard Siken// all photos are mine! Photography on @el3ctraaa
#web weaving#poetry#prose#spilled ink#intertextuality#haley heynderickx#devin kelley#phoebe bridgers#alejandra pizarnik#richard siken#sooooo it's been a sec since the last time i made a web weaving lollllll#this one is basically just me being at my parents house and miserable#like i thought to myself wow i was so happy in june but then july comes and reminds me I'm the same person i was in may!#who was the same person i was last may and the may before and wowwwwww I can't escape myself!#no matter how happy i think i can be and how long i think i can make it last i like have to face myself again#and this myself is like the awful thing but i know it's me because it just feels like it#and i feel like i did all this shit last year and i thought i had truly changed my life but I didn't i am still the same shitty awful perso#and that's what i wanted to convey with this
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Me: I wonder what Hook calls Sampo in the Japanese dub? Probably oji-san, since it's shushu in the original Chinese?
Hook: Sampo-ojichan!!
Oji is "uncle," which is hilarious because Hook calls Natasha by "older sister" when she wants something. So Hook either just really wants to get on Natasha's good side, or she takes Sampo at face value when he refers to himself as an old man. She trusts him a lot and takes him at his word and she calls him as such!
And Sampo calls Hook either ojou-san or oujo-san (I can't find the Japanese sub to see the spelling, and I can't tell them apart by ear)!
One spelling, oujo, means "princess," it's how you would refer to royalty. The other, ojou, (which I assume is what he's actually saying) is something you call the young lady of a high-class family with a high social standing. In Genshin Impact, the intro scene for a popular ship, chilumi, shows Childe calling Lumine ojou-chan, which the English dub translated as "girlie." Since Sampo uses -san instead of -chan, his is more formal and respectful, it's more like "young lady."
...It's also how you would refer to the daughter of a yakuza leader, which I love, since Hook leads her own little gang (the Moles) skzhkskdkd
But it really gets me in the heart, because! Hook is generally looked at as a delinquent by most adults. Which I mean. Not without good reason, she
calls Natasha an old witch
frequently sneaks out into the Fragmentum
has left graffiti all over the side of the orphanage
was constantly picking fights with other kids
beat a man unconscious for stealing from her dad
and has already picked up on how business gets done in the Underworld, and uses/actively participates in it to get what she wants- she basically acts an information broker
like Hook earns her reputation haha. The Underground is lucky that what Hook wants is just like. Candy and toys and to play hide-and-seek. I'm sure she'll have the capability to raise all kinds of hell and be more like an actual gang leader when she's older, even if she chooses not to act on it.
So Sampo calling her so politely and respectfully is really sweet and cute! Yes, he's polite and respectful with everyone, but that's just it- he treats Hook much like he does everyone else. He doesn't tell her to buzz off because she's a kid. He doesn't lie or try to cheat her or assume she's naive because of her age. He never talks down to her. He really does just treat her like a respected business partner and he takes her seriously, which Hook really seems to appreciate. And even when Sampo does treat her like a kid, it's not in a negative way; he guides her on little adventures and chats with her and takes her for joy rides on his moped. All of which Hook also really appreciates, since everyone else is too busy trying to get by to make time to play with her. She absolutely adores him.
I hope they officially join forces someday and terrorize all of Belobog with their shenanigans JSKJZNDKSJ
So Hook calls Sampo "Uncle Sampo" in a particularly affectionate/endeared tone, and Sampo calls Hook "Young Miss Hook" in a very respectful tone! And to reiterate:
#honkai star rail#hsr sampo#hsr hook#WHAT BUSINESS DO THEY HAVE BEING SO ADORABLE AUGH OTL#they're so cute...my heart...#I've seen people say Sampo is a bad influence on Hook but I don't really like that because I feel it takes away from Hook's character.#Let her be awful all on her own!!#god forbid women do anything skhzksjsnz#I actually do really like her just being like this no matter what though because I think Hook is a fascinating example of just how harsh-#-the Underground is and how it's developed separately from the Overworld and how it operates and what it takes to survive down there.#like Hook is like this because she grew up down there during the worst times.#even if she was born before the halves were sealed off she's too young to remember any of that.#I'm pretty sure the end of the main quest in Belobog was the first time she'd ever seen the sun.#and so I think it's really neat seeing how she operates and what she thinks of things. she offers an insight not many other characters do.#she's too nice for it but I would love for her to be more like a gang leader as she gets older it would be a fun divergence jzkzjdndkd#Sampo can be one of her business partners. Belobog is shaking in fear skxhjsjddn#hsr#sampo koski#hook
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imagining the story from pei ming's perspective is rlly funny i think. this god from all that time ago ascends again (you were there for the first two times) and immediately waltzes into a situation that fucks something up for your descendant (putting both of your reputations on the line, messing up how hard your descendant worked to become a god and how hard you worked to ensure that he would have that chance) and then refuses to let you smooth the situation out and on TOP of that your friend's little sister (who hates you and who you are trying to look out for by request of your friend) is on your case about it too. so you've gotta work all that out and then like. you chill for a little bit (still kind of upset about your descendant) until your friend undergoes a heavenly calamity. and then in the space of like A Day the god from earlier shows up again with a fucking ghost king, your friend dies, the little sister you're supposed to be looking out for disappears, and everything just kinda goes to shit. so you're like. grieving. trying to process everything. until your OTHER close friend goes off the fucking rails with the spirit of that guy she murdered, and then you get called out to the spooky ghost mountain where you're confronted with the girl whose death YOU were essentially responsible for and have never really come to terms with, and then like. you just kind of hang out with these gay people until everything resolves itself. fight some ghosts. fight the heavenly emperor. get your friend to stop being evil for a little while so she can fix the filing systems. and then you just have to keep being the god of love i guess
#characters who are so related and yet so unrelated to the story my beloveds#is he really necessary to the story. no! he's so essential to me though#nobody talks about the tragedy of the three tumors... i know it's cause they're awful but c'mon guys...#these three people who only have each other... pei ming losing both of them one after another in their own way...#i think he's probably pretty chill about ling wen being evil. i don't remember how he responds but i don't think he's that worried.#but still. that's two for two on the 'people i care about getting fucked up somehow' list#and then the kid that you're supposed to be emergency older brother to fucking DISAPPEARS.#so you can't even follow through on your promise to your dead friend...#shaking my computer. do you all understand how i feel#pei ming posting tonight. so many thoughts but so little expressed in the pei ming posting#too sleempy... will return to thoughts later#i am going to become the pei ming poster of all time. just watch me#talking#tgcf#pei ming#tian guan ci fu
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There will not be a single moment next week in which I’m not running around doing something
#full time studying / volunteering at the refugee center / volunteering at two clinics#literally ab to have a meeting ab shadowing a doctor who’s researching ftd dementia in like 50 minutes#organic chemistry research 5 days a week bc ur bitch is trying to get published#hitting the gym 6 days a week. I’ll probably have to move it to mornings soon#meal prep#trying to snag a lowkey part time job#trying to read 30 minutes before bed#somehow have 2 fit a social life into this#I’m excited bc I finally feel like my time budgeting abilities are being put to the test BUT holy fuck .#studying will be my no 1 priority always. literally catch me doing anki cards in any pocket of free time I have#but I better live up to the challenge of juggling everything else too#ik I got this. and these are all things im choosing to do. not things I have to do#and I love being busy so it’ll be so fun#just had to be in awe for a second bc I used to admire girls who’re like this. and I am officially about to be one of them#p
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