#i just feel like he wouldnt want to belittle his partner either

[taw-k]

Please tell me in not the only one that really doesn't like the nickname "pet" that Loki always uses 😭😭😭

[b0mblover]

im so sorry lopt but also not

By: J

no tws. little bit of loptson fluff for the soul

it-

it all felt so weird.

he was still allowed to be himself,

but,

the sense of “himself” felt like it was changing.

sure, his comrades deaths made him feel something.

but.

that had been over half a year ago now.

since norikos death, lopt moved out.

well, as much as someone can without living there.

he had been living with mason for,, a while now.

he was allowed to be himself,

sure mason would get agitated sometimes,

but it never,

it never was unbearable.

for the both of them.

it was spring now,

lopt wondered if the odd feeling he had been… feeling, was seasonal depression going away.

“can a god even get seasonal depression”

most days he could ignore it but,

today was one of them that he couldnt.

he sat on the edge of the pull out couch, mason had to run some errands, leaving lopt alone with his mind, and ghosts.

some days hed hear the ghosts of the past that he had wronged.

sometimes begging, sometimes belittling him, sometimes just hearing wind blowing.

memories of the explosion flashed in his mind.

it had been half a year ago.

why did he care now?

could-

could gods even have trauma?

“well, as a shapeshifter, i am able to morph every part of my body that i see fit, i believe, meaning if that /were/ the case couldnt i just. take it away?”

he questioned aloud

(no no you cant lopt. because the writier is having “writers” block and wants you to suffer)

continuously, his mind replaying the boom of the explosion, 

the after shock he felt on the ground.

in reality, it was just mason shutting the door.

“hey, you didnt respond to any if my texts so i just got you bot-“

mason cut himself off, seeing the state lopt was in.

lopt continued staring at the ground,

his vision was crowded with static, and, the ghosts and voices were so loud they were drowning out his own thoughts.

he could barely feel when mason tapped at his knee to get his attention.

lopt looked up in the general direction he felt the movement coming from.

“uh, something.. wrong…?”

mason was unsure as to what was happening, he had never seen lopt so… broken.

lopt opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out.

a voice seemingly coming from behind him said how he had nothing worth saying.

nothing that would be worth anything to such a person as mason.

nothing worth saying that would ever amount to his partner.

he started to spiral.

questioning just /why/ mason was with him in the first place.

humans had used gods for their blood before, though, mason never did that,

humans had used gods for their power before, though mason never did that either.

was mason just with him, just to betray him in the end..?

did mason stay, just to make fun of him?

remind him of the fact he can never have a real relationship with a mortal due to their mortality and his immortality?

to-

he felt something cold on his face.

he looked up trying to see what the source was, only being greeted by the static in his vision that had never left.

“shh shh there there, youre gonna’ be okay”

mason.

mason was trying to help.

why?

wouldnt it be better to go ahead and stab lopt in the back?

to essentially kill him right then and there

to-

“hey. hey breathe, breathe, youre okay, here can you see? you know what im saying right now?”

lopts mind kept rushing, but

he tried to pull through,

realising that it was essentially pointless for him to attempt to talk, he slightly nodded his head in a ‘yes’ manner

“good, good, i take it that you cant see much huh? i mean, youre looking right past me-“

lopt internally laughed, before shaking his head yes again

“alllrighty then, ill sit with you til’ it clears up mkay?” 

lopt flashed a slight, but genuine smile what he thought was masons way.

mason burst out laughing, lopt was not looking masons way in the slightest, from masons view he just smiled at a wall

“i- you-“

mason choked out between tears

“youuuu, n-need to-“

lopt felt a bit better, even if mason was laughing at his expense, somewhere in himself he knew that it wasnt masons intention, he was better than that.

mason mostly had regained his composure (or what little he still had after that) and started again

“y’know itd be k-kinda helpful if you /actually/ looked my way-“ mason got through between laughs

lopt giggled to himself before shaking his head in a overly dramatic way ‘no’

“ahhh darn”

mason snapped his fingers

“welp, i tried” he said before shrugging. as if lopt could see it.

“hows the whole vision thing going”

lopt contemplated his response for a second, it had cleared up but, not to a great degree

lopt waved his hand in an iffy way

“ahh- barely then”

lopt rolled his eyes, in a playful way, basing it off of feelings, he knew he probably wasnt even facing mason,

“jeeze how long does this fucking taaaaaake”

mason groanded out before fallinn backwards into the pull out couch, making a little “oomf” sound as he

hit it. 

lopt held up his pointer finger,

“huh? you say somthin’?”

lopt sighed. attempting to speak again

(j gave up)

“h-hour” lopt managed to get out

his voice sounded much deeper and raspier than the pitch he prefered to keep it at, being all that he could manage.

“i-o-oh” mason stuttered out, being caught off guard by lopts voice. slightly blushing aswell-

mason took a deep breath before composing himself again and sitting up.

“well, if its gonna take that long, how bout’ i get started on dinner?”

“s-sure, s-sou-sounds, good” lopt was pushing himself to speak, he had heard (and felt) mason get up, being unsure as where to face.

“alright then, and, please dont push yourself alright? you uh, you need to take your time”

lopt smiled back.

again smiling at a wall.

[therewas-a-girl]

Ppl thinking oliver queen would have been better - liked/treated/his issues better respected - by fandom, if he had been a woman has me laughing at the… is it called paradox? Blatant nontruth of the statement?

Here are some easy examples of how this is not so:

Laurel lance (lol most heatedly hated character of arrow for a myriad for reasons, at least half of them sexist bullshit the other ¼ shipper bullshit; had some shit writing which is always taken as a character trait and for which SHE is blamed for; had a depression arc, is an addict, after all the times shes been kidnapped abused and beaten probably has some form of lingering effect from all the… u know… trauma + the emotional upheaval that has been her life for the last 10 years. And yet - still loathed and her issues are negated and belittled at every turn. Always misinterpreted, rarely afforded the luxury of viewer empathy; favorite fandom strawoman usually)

Sara lance (ptsd from all the fucked up shit the league put her through amd that she went through before that, which was very visible when she was on arrow. Probably dealt with some for of sexual harassment/threats of violence/violence when she was on the Amazo, which we never explicitly saw thank god. A good portion of Olicity fans dispise her cause ship reasons, same with lauriver fans. Who is the REAL black canary discourse is still going strong btw, which inevitably generates hate on either of the lance sisters side. Saras bisexuality is constantly erased or denied or treated as sth tintillating for the straight male gaze; she is slutshamed at every corner; ppl hardly can be bothered to remember that she was actually suicidal at one point, that she thought she was not worthy of love or capable of love or of being with someone - HUGE CHARACTER MOMENT HERE - when she broke up with oliver usually dismissed/forgotten cause felicity walks in the room so most of the olicity fandom - big portion of arrow fandom - 9 times out of 10 doesnt bother to remember that sara was talking about herself here)

- yes shipper tendencies matter, they shape character perceptions.

Bonus: thea queen (neglected by her mother, abused physically and emotionally by her monster father, has some serious issues with violence, probably ptsd-related avoidance for it, the mask, her old life. Has utterly detatched from a whole side of her personality and history, something that was intrinsic to her for 2 years, and yet nobody sees that as eyebrow-raising worthy for some reason cause that is what a tots normal person would do. The almost oliver-like split of the sides of her life/personality is mentione…. how many times in fandom? The metas are where? Maybe ive just missed them. Okay. Oh i almost forgot - was stabbed and just about died. But she got over that, right? Which has nothing to do with the bloodlust, by the way. Thats from the Pit. Trauma outlasts the bloodlust. And yet whenever she displays behaviour that is consistent with some kind of post-traumautic symptoms/behaviour… she is bitchy or ungrateful or whiny or being a child again. Literally do not know how to go on with this one)

Extra bonus: felicity smoak. How much felicity’s trauma was aknowleged = she has all kinds of traumatic shit happen to her, including but not limited to near-death experinces, and yet the effect this had on her is nearly nonexistent in big fandom spaces. Sunshine felicity yay! Supporting and taking care of oliver. Yay. Always the light to guide his way. Untarnished. Y. A. Y. (Feel my burning enthusiasm for this interpretation. But thats my preference and of no consequence here.) And the moment it was “officially” aknowleged that a ptsd arc would be explored with her (which is, imo, still a euphemism, or a gross misusage of this very serious illness /that they cant be bothered to portray right on a woman/) - the same ppl that say ‘olivers mental illness is disrespected cause he is male’ were all about (paraphrasing here) “olivers LONG LASTING and X YEAR LONG ptsd is as valid as felicitys NEWLY CONCOCTED/FRESHLY CREATED ptsd” …somehow managing to insult the both of them and imply that the years one lives with an illness give u a sort of precedence and ‘elder card’ in the club. ‘Empathy should go first HERE where its mooore…’ more what? I just dont know how to continue this. needed? Valid? I dont know man. I mean, by works of logic the obvious non-truth of the beginning statement of this post is encapsulated by this last example. But lets be thorough.

Look there are layers. Olivers character deals with shit writing sometimes and horrifying demonisation of his mental illness FROM THE WRITERS OF HIS OWN SHOW. And there is a shitton of ableism in fandom about him.

But if he’d been a woman… my dude… my guy… my pal…. experience shows fandom generally, not as separate ppl but as a block unit, (fandom currents? Fandom tendencies?) have *lower* empathy for women and their narratives (e.i. a lot **less** 29596k word metas about why he does the things he does, trying to explain away the writing holes would be floating around). Lower patience for their fuckups. Lower imagination for their inner lives and even lower willingness to search them out. The show itself would have a lower interest in exploring these issues, as they have shown it to be the tendency with female characters.

Oliver queen is human, he fucks up, he has a deep inner life and his trauma has far reaching shockwaves. All those are characteristics we assume him to have, as default, cause hes a WHITE MALE presented as straight. Who has to contend with bullshit ableism, sure, and fandome expectations colored by toxic masculinity, which canon doesnt even support. But he would have faaaar more prejudices to contend with if he were female. All those assumptions - of hidden logical reasons, depths, triggers etc - up there wouldnt even go halfway if hed been a woman, or not white or, god forbit, a woman of color.

(Dude can u imagine the shitstorm of slutshaming that would hit a female!oliver for sleeping with a *fraction* of the number of ppl oliver has slept with??? In canon he has always had emotional ties or reasons for sleeping with every single one of his partners whether fandom likes it or not, and STILL he is called a manwhore, as if he only thinks with his dick. Even oliver isnt afforded brains and emotions when it comes to sexual agency. It baffles me.

But im willing to bet that it would be worse if he were a woman because the reason for dumbing him down would go from ‘i want to belittle all these other relationships he has so that THIS ONE SHIP shines thru’, to straight up sexism and womens agency over their bodies and emotions. Case in point ppl were calling felicity a plethora of disgusting epithets for sleeping with ray (ONE MAN) when she was a FREE BEING WITH AN INDEPENDENT WILL tied to !!!nobody but herself!!!, just cause she didnt plant olivers name on her ladyparts from the moment she first saw him. (Lets also admit that shipper reasons are present here too but the difference is that in olivers case, his sexing up other ppl lowers olicity’s value cause hes not devoted enough and whatnot. In felicitys case, her sexing up other ppl lowers *felicity’s* ‘value’ because… do i rly need to explain why here? Hint - It ties back to the ‘pure felicity oliver’s light’ argument and the dehumanization of her character by making her the literal object of olivers salvation and therefore nullifying/ridiculing her choices if they make her path deviate from olivers.) Ppl are saying Laurel would be betraying tommys memory by loving oliver still - TOMMYS MEMORY. a man whos been dead for *four years* matters more than a live womans feelings. Just… christ…)