#but itll still give me the ick

[taw-k]

Please tell me in not the only one that really doesn't like the nickname "pet" that Loki always uses 😭😭😭

[sleeveace22]

i just watched the strange aeons video on tumblr live and it kind of makes me *want* to yse tumblr live for practice session live streams or music work. The idea of having a small gathering of witnesses to whatever im doing feels strangely encouraging? or at least itll put my feet to the fire on keeping progress. Im interested for sure but also the slack tumblr live has gotten and semi-deserves still gives me the Ick- despite privacy issues being debunked and said video i watched also showing most streamers arent tiktok copy paste titty streamers. the vibe is still tumblr-esque and i fucking LOVE the candidness of tumblr, it might be fun to present what im doing live since im so bad at putting projects together lol

[desireasaself]

nothing nothing nothing nothing

nothing will fucking matter

its always back to this

reset inertia

i am a child

i am a bug

lonely and scared and running

not understanding

but i live in a place with food and comfort

and i never have to starve

but soon i will

soon ill crash the car

i push it further every time

i test the grip of my shitty wheels

it barely steers straight now

and i hope just a little that itll be enough

that one day ill die quick

that ill die in the winter when its nice out

that my death will mirror the reddening leaves

that someone somewhere will write a eulogy

someone who really knows me

thats the only honor i can have

is in death

and its exhausting to try to convince me

im running ragged girl

i love my friends but im dying im rotting

i love my friends but id never be my friend

id never put myself through that

i give myself the ick

i see all the horrible things in my head

the water im apt to drown in

it goes and goes and goes

i breathe and try to find

the lightswitch in the dark

i pretend i can see

i want to memorize the walls

the stuff on the floor i must avoid

i want to test myself on bullshit standards

i want to count the things in my hand

or remember something meaningless

to prove to myself that im smart

that i deserve anything good

its just a proxy

i consume myself with adjacency

to avoid the pale want

the brightest flame

i move it aside

and let it burn itself out

because i cant handle that rawness

when i get a touch of it i cry for ages

i dont know what to do with all this nothing

ive thought and cried and paced the carpet

ive fallen asleep thinking

ive stayed awake thinking

wondering how my parents will die

not since i was a kid but

its still there

its woven together somehow

every line parallel

every alter parallel

never touching hardly touching

vaguely related as if

as if it were consecutive tv channels

we cannot think much like this

we only have a corner at a time

a piece

we cant stitch it all together

and i never learned to sew anyway

i thought it was for girls (ha)

funny how you become the thing you fear

but for me it was always guilt

not when i was young but once i grew a little

i knew i was not supposed to be like this

i understood well what was expected

and i saw it in the other kids faces

that i was always different

that i didnt know how to talk

how to look them in the eye

and i never knew i would suffer so much

back then i was more creative

i drew in my notebooks

i thought things up

but i split my head and i dont know why

it seems like my issues were unfounded

but i think i underestimate it

im not sure

[sunnisurrealism]

Notes of the Day:

-Last night i dreamt i was watching Timmy and Austin be the cool boys of the party. At this point it was after timmy and i locked in, so i was watching him very intently wondering if he was thinking of me, wondering how he'd look to me with all the cameras on him. it was like the first time seeing him like this after locking in, and i thought it was hot i was secretly his. there were hella fangirls around but i knew he was just thinking about me hehe. i think i dreamt this cuz i saw videos of timmy at adam sandler's bday party yesterday, and i had major fomo somehow. i will still be a fan of the weeknd despite how much i got the ick from the idol lol. it's okay everyone has their own kinks.

-Timmy i can kinda see.. it in the basketball photo with your hand on your thigh. argh. i want more plz.

-I love the kitty moon meme thank you omg i love you to the moon and back a billion times over and over until the end of time!

-In terms of my own life, Audrey is having a "Secret Garden" bday party tmrw and im going to wear this magic dress i recently thrifted which i instantly knew was... Sunnï's magic disney character dress! this is THE iconic dress! it is her ascendant identity dress. im hoping to also get some antennas and attach them to my black headband crown. i think Sunnï will develop antennas. i mentioned this briefly before, but we all know what it represents. sh.

-idk how to say this without major blue ball and i will explain it in the next usb, but i have decided like 4 more plot points. Timmy idk what to say, i think i will give you many many prompts over the years of things i would like you to write. i know it is difficult cuz idk what point you have written up to and how busy you are and you own ideas, but i have some really good ones (including immense comedic relief!). you should probably write the book by typing tbh so itll be easier to edit in chapters later and making things cohesive, and you should probably keep it on the drive. cannot lose this shit for the lyfe of us. the lore shit is way too much. it is the brunt of your destiny to somehow make it into a cohesive story, but dont wrry, we got time! troll.

-I have been taking lil bits of seroquel and it is helping me sleep! getting over my fear of gaining weight. when i imagine us when i listen to the lucid dreaming hypnotic meditation i now like to imagine us in the air bnb home we will buy on horny i mean horny island. you should imagine us there as well when you listen! xoxo.

-all the best to you both, i love you both so much! i have to go to the gym to train for my hiking adventures. im glad im finally feeling well rested enough to workout! pls keep the sexiness cuming.

[chonnysinferno]

i am So bored so i guess i will expose myself as “not a cjshipper but not NOT a cjshipper tbh” anyway i will send you more music

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuYLhuXt4HrRFeV7wSFL-1LRMtj5353pq&si=xH73KXa9wHS_C4Yu KIJETESUMIKYOKU MY BELOVED

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuYLhuXt4HrRIt7XTnyygXomDqlW3xPFK&si=GUDQMCzy0apcWb5d ryuupekosi also my beloved!!!!!!

what was i saying oh right GO LISTEN TO JAN USAWI’S MUSIC RN AND GO TO BANDCAMP AND LISTEN TO ALL OF TOKI GAMING RIGHT NOW AND ALSO 8 (LUKA TU WAN)

https://youtu.be/-ILcH66zGcY this also

i can’t think of anything else i’ve been listening to lately besides maybe jreg and that would give you another thing to put on your dni, centricide fans /this is a JOKE

random song that i usually don’t listen to things in the type of: https://youtu.be/6xr_nVyNMMY

frums is based and other such good qualities: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mu9g_dVsgBz6d8vuWCsyPai59U8XeD8BM&si=buAGe2-pHnKEKm-E

while we r here go listen to dead but dreaming and sisyphus by vivivivivi (5 vi’s)

strobe light: https://youtu.be/7sKs7INaEoA?si=OTjLWaQx5CHtJ3Ws

finally, kulupu jan tenpo: https://youtu.be/fWHZz7ZCXqw?si=43agffZaBd0QvuSr

(i sent you the playlists to all of the songs in kijetesumikyoku n ryuupekosi but they r medleys by jan Misali so, also jan Misali’s other covers and stuff are good and i like their video essays)

(i was about to say like “i could send you ilo tenpo pi sin ala aka time machine reprise in toki pona” but i might as well just do it so: https://youtu.be/gl3W8-IwETc)

(i would send you anachronism but i have looked into myself and found the answer that that would be unnecessary self promotion so letter which has no negative or positive connotations + have a good day + i can send you a post with resources on toki pona + don’t die and other such)

on the cj shipper thing i do not really care to be honest if youre not weird about it / mention it and such its just a personal ick and i dont associate oyu with cj shipping anyways so i wouldnt have known i thought it was you as i dont rememrb anyone else who was associated with toki pona i wasnt going to reac h out to you tho becasue i dont rememebr your user + uhuhuhuuhuhuhuh yea! i cannot interact with other users without lookign like a freak i have negative feelings about you from something but i do not remember what! so i think that is probably in the past anyways onto the music tthese are not usually my genre of music but they are calming adn soothing and i like that the miku one is more up my alley because i am a vocaloid fan but on the side of faster paced music mostly because i cannot listen to slower music without getting bored the music is still good though and there is a lot of it and i will try to listen to it all in the span of a few months. or days ull never know i think this was obvious by the fact i enjoy artists like chonny jash , will wood , and other thingfs in that category (although i understand that their music has variety i enjoy songs like uhhh TME TSE THA rather than say NMTK and SaaST or. CCCC over CiD,, hm ill just link some things under the keep reading as a sample of music taste to not make this post any longer thjan it already is 😭😭😭 *) (edit : nvm theres not even a keep reading itll just be there ig) i think i have listened to vivivivivi's & lamp's music before!!!! i have enjoyed both so far but vivivivivi's more somehwat because of the pixel esque style of music (whihc might not be true for all of the songs they produxce but i am not a huge fan i am a norma;l enjoyer. somewhat) lamp i know is swomewhat in the calming / slow music section ^_^ alos not a huge fan because ive only listened to like one or two songs sooo i do not know toki pona which i think makes up a lotof this post / ask so it would bne great if oyu did send me a post about toki pona 👍 overall summary : music not my usual taste, does not mean they are bad, they are awesome anywasys, will try to listen to all of it when i can also self promotion is okay gimme em have a good day also and also do not die because that would be horrible o7 edit 2 : nvm we jammin edit 3 : you shouldve shared the vocaloid related ones with me first i wouldve been so hooked these are so good

* i do not have a playlist for these so bear withj me

most / all of everything is a lot also SELF-iSH i prefer those over uhhh icimi (in case i make it) and TNA (the normal album) i m not sure what else to put here. throws these at you (you dont have to listen to these btw)

[drawlfoy]

The Wonders of Ohio P.5

masterlist (check here for parts 1-4!) request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: from 14 year old me babey

warnings: cringe, mentions of drug use, mentions of sex, language, and just bad writing

summary: y/n is in her senior year of high school when she is asked to take on an exchange student from britain that’s a little...different. this is NOT a nonmagic AU. draco is still a wizard and this will become and integral part of the story shortly.

a/n: heyyyy everyone. i graduated from high school this week and i’m posting this as my happy-one-year-to-me. as some of you may know, i posted my very first fic on this day a year ago. i’m really happy to see how i’ve grown since and i’m so lucky to have shared this with all of you. anyways, nittygritty--

this part is really the last slow exposition chapter. chapters 6 on will be a whole whirlwind beginning with homecoming and i hope that you guys are willing to stick around. i promise itll be worth the wait. y/n is going to get the story arc of a lifetime and also please do not hate heather she is just going through it ok 

anywayssssssss

tags tags tags  @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural

word count: 4.6k (;))

song recs: 

strawberry blonde -- mitski 

in your neighbors garden -- mimi bay

wishes -- beach house

ode to artifice -- samia 

pink in the night -- mitski

enjoy <3

The seatbelt buckle scorched the side of Y/N’s exposed neck as she turned to face the disheveled blonde in the passenger seat.

“Do I need to teach you to set an alarm?” 

Draco let out a huff. “Stop. Do you have a….a comb, or a brush, or something here?” His hands looked abnormally fidgety. Their actions were shaky, varying from patting his pockets to running through his hair. He seemed more and more frustrated each time his hands left his pockets empty. 

How curious Y/N thought as she racked her brain for any remembrance of putting a brush in her car. It was always a mess, and she honestly couldn’t blame Draco for assuming that anything could be in there.

“I don’t think there’s one here,” said Y/N, trying to sound at least a little sympathetic despite the fact that his tardiness had them 10 minutes late. “You can look around if you want, king.”

“What’d you call me?” His voice was suddenly sharp and awake.

Y/N rolled her eyes so hard that she thought they’d get stuck in the back of her head. “You don’t--ok. It’s a joke. You can call guys here that.”

“And it means that I’m…?”

“It means I’m acknowledging that you exist, I guess. It’s not like it has a strict negative or positive connotation. Like, I can say ‘Ok king’ to any man telling me something and it can either be sarcastic, or it can be because I don’t know what else to say and just want to let him know I heard him.”

Draco’s eyes looked a tad glazed over when Y/N dared a glance in his direction.

“I know it’s confusing. I’m sorry. I’ll try and ease you into the world of American slang.” 

He granted her a little “uh-huh” before opening up the glovebox with great difficulty and rummaging through the mess. Y/N would’ve felt more embarrassed about the tampon that fell on the ground in the process if he seemed like he actually knew what it was. 

Her attention turned back to the road as Draco continued to sift through things. Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything embarrassing hidden away in the corners of her car--after all, it hadn’t been organized since the beginning of summer--and decided that it was better to pretend it wasn’t happening.

It wasn’t the eerie silence that eventually prompted her to turn to look his direction--no, it was the weird energy in the car, like the feeling right before a thunderstorm. All the hair raised on her arms, and she shivered...but it was stifling hot in the car.

“Oh, did you find a brush?” she asked. His hair laid as perfectly as always, but his hands were lying shaking in his lap, palms to the sky. No hairbrush was in sight.

“Er... “ He was paler than usual, which was quite the feat for someone who looked like a ream of paper. “No. Just remembered a trick my father taught me.”

She tensed at the mention of his father--the very first time Draco had done so. “Oh. Okay. Glad you got it figured out, king.”

Her voice lightened on the last word, hoping she could coax a little smile out of him. 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ok.”

oOo

 There were many things Y/N thought she understood, but Draco Malfoy being in her Physics C class was not one of them. She took pity and sat next to him as he fumbled his way through the first lecture. His notes, while neat, were littered with crossed out portions and question marks. 

You do know there’s an eraser on your pencil, right? she jotted on a note that she sent his way. His brow furrowed and he seemed to tap at the end of the eraser for just a few moments before deciding otherwise and xing out another practice problem he’d done incorrectly. Symbols that she’d never seen before were scattered all throughout his notes. 

Maybe the UK kids just learn stuff differently.

By the time that Physics came to an end, Y/N was eager to get away from the storm cloud that was brewing over Draco’s perfectly smoothed and infuriatingly pretty moonbeam colored hair. The amount of attention he was getting from all the other girls made Y/N want to jump off a cliff--suddenly everyone was her “best friend” “just wanting to check up on what happened over summer”. She was grateful to see the face of Lizzy, grinning and looking mischievous during their break period.

“You must be Draco,” said the redhead, a glint in her eyes. He looked a little scared.

“Er...yeah.”

“Mind giving us some privacy? Y/N and I have some urgent matters to discuss,” she continued, looking him up and down. Y/N attempted to ignore the twist in her gut as she watched him swallow and nod, turning away to go brood elsewhere. Once he was out of sight, Lizzy grabbed her arm and yanked her into the girl’s bathroom.

“It’s so funny how he’s following you around like a lost puppy,” Lizzy said. “Also, he’s gorgeous. If you don’t at least try to get some of that, then I’m never trusting your judgement again.”

“But, Li-”

“The boy’s a fucking walking Wattpad story cover. Dark, tragic past, unbelievably sharp jawline, rich parents, exotic accent....honestly, Y/N, I don’t know what else you could want.” 

“Mom literally called him my host brother,” said Y/N. The bathroom was starting to smell suspiciously like cotton candy. “That’s wrong. On so many levels.” 

“But you’re not related!”

“But it’s gross! And predatory! The kid doesn’t even know how to do basic algebra! I’m all he has!” 

Lizzy’s eyebrow found its new home in the middle of her forehead. “You’ve gone absolutely batty if you think that every girl cursed with attraction to men in Cincinnati wouldn’t jump his skin at the chance. Use your head, queenie. He’s not alone. Shoot your shot.”

Y/N opened her mouth to serve back a retort--that was definitely there, thank you very much--but decided against it once she realized that the bathroom had become dead silent. “Um...maybe we can go over this later.” She flickered her eyes over to the line behind them that was now intently hanging on their every word. “I forgot I had to talk to the counselor.”

Lizzy was smirking as they exited the bathroom and began the search for Draco. It didn’t take long--the circle comprised of Heather and her friends was more than enough of a giveaway that he was about. 

“Draco, sorry to make you wait,” Y/N called out. It took all her effort to abstain from cringing as her voice rang out across the group. Heather turned to send her a big smile.

“Hey Y/N! You didn’t tell me that Draco was from London!” 

“He’s not,” she responded. “He’s from Wiltshire.” 

“Wiltshire. Of course. That’s what I meant.”

Draco’s smile was tense as he looked down at Heather--who stood roughly 4 inches below him--but he was smiling, and that wasn’t something that Y/N was on the receiving end of frequently. She didn’t know whether to be offended or relieved.

“I’m sure. Break’s almost over, Draco. I can show you where the English department is before the time is up.” 

 He paused, looking down at the blonde grinning up at him. “Er, actually, Heather already offered to show me around for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll see you in French.”

Y/N was shocked at the sheer amount of jealousy that rose up in her throat as she turned away and made her way to Art History---the only class Y/N and Draco didn’t share. The walk was strange. Being in solitude after having a gloomy British boy attached to her hip was understandably eerie. Because that’s all it was. Adjustment. Nothing else.

She settled in at a table full of her friends, namely Sylvia. The tall girl was always a bit whimsical, but Y/N found that she was a breath of fresh air compared to everyone else. It made sense that Sylvia would take Art History--her dark academic inspired aura and the perpetually hot mug of black coffee just screamed history nut. 

“How’s your new brother?” she asked after the teacher had taken attendance. “I say that because I haven’t heard his name yet.”

“Ick, it’s gross to think of him as my brother,” Y/N responded. “And I know! We need to catch up. I’m sorry about not talking to you for a bit. The time difference was a bit weird during your trip.”

“It’s ok, I get it. I was away on family business, anyways. I didn’t expect you to spend your days staying up until the wee hours of the night to tell me all about your exchange student. Anyways. His name?”

“You’re gonna scream when you hear it, Vie,” she said. “Draco Malfoy. It’s so posh. You have no idea. It definitely suits him, though. He’s very...You good?” 

Sylvia’s olive toned face looked a bit paler than usual. “Yeah. Yeah, I just remembered that I forgot to take the trash out this morning. I’ll have to text my mom about it.” She adjusted the wool cardigan that hung around her shoulders and came up looking composed. “Draco, huh? His parents must hate him.”

“At the very least! He’s so rude. And uptight. I can’t tell if it’s just a Brit thing or if it’s because he’s an asshole.” 

Sylvia laughed. “I mean, when I was there over the summer, it was a different culture for sure. We’re by far louder. But I didn’t meet many mean ones. You must’ve just got a bad apple, then.”

“I guess so. He is pret--”

“Ladies, is there something you’d like to share with the rest of the class?”

“No, Mrs. Jensen,” Sylvia and Y/N said in unison. 

oOo

“Thoughts, king?” 

“I told you not to call me that.” Draco glared at her as he tried to open the passenger side door to find that it was locked tight. “Unlock? Please?”

“And I told you not to get cozy with ASB kids, yet here we are,” said Y/N as she slotted the key into the lock and turned. 

“What’s it to you?”

“Nothing. I’m just looking out for you.” She slammed the door shut and threw her bag in the bag. The line of traffic to get out of the school was long and stuffy, and she was eager to just get it over with.

The wait was so hot that Draco peeled off his stupid formalish jacket that was on thin ice of being called a blazer and probably worth more than her car. Y/N tried to look away as his hair became slightly ruffled, but she couldn’t pry her eyes away. It was endearing, almost, how someone who could look so posh and serious could have ruffly hair--and hair that naturally light, too. She had asked him one night if it was dyed, and he scowled at her and told her the grammatically correct term was dead, and that his hair was alive, just like the rest of him, thank you very much. She dropped it. 

Y/N finally rolled down her window after the AC simply refused to satisfy her, and the wind was a nice reminder to keep in her own lane. Draco was beautiful. There was no other way to put it. He had a feel of power to him, like he was capable of anything but just held it back. But he was just as inaccessible as he was pretty, and there was nothing she could do about that.

“Y/N?” He asked after a few moments of sitting in silence. “What’s Homecoming?” 

“Who told you about that?” 

“Heather. She asked if I had a date. Is that like a ball here?”

“She asked you if you had a date on the first day?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck. ASB kids never do sleep, huh.” 

“What?”

“Homecoming isn’t a ball. It’s like a...an…” Y/N paused as she saw Draco raise his eyebrows. “It’s, like, uh….Well I guess it is like a ball. An American one, though. Way less extravagant. It’s an excuse to get dressed up and run around the city. There technically is a dance, and all the ASB kids have to go, but literally no one else does but the underclassmen. Normally I go out with my friends and a date to somewhere fun and take pictures. And then get trashed afterwards.”

“Classy,” said Draco. “I think you can go now.”

A honk behind her emphasized his point as the space in between her and the car in front widened substantially. 

“Thanks. Anyways, it’s not really a big deal. I’d suggest not going with Heather so you can skip out on the dance portion. Or if you want to go with her, get her to come with us into Cincinnati because I am not going to spend my last homecoming watching a grind circle.” 

“A...what circle? And I don’t want to go with her.”

The relief Y/N felt was embarrassing. “Um...better if you don’t worry about it. You have a long time to figure it out anyways.”

He seemed satisfied with that answer, propping his elbow up on the center console. The pristine button up he was wearing had ridden up, exposing the pale skin and the bottom of the tattoo she had seen a hint of earlier. “Do you have a date?”

“Um. No, not yet. I don’t think anyone except for couples do yet. We have until the end of this month to figure it out, so I’m not too worried about it.”

He nodded as Y/N’s car finally left the school parking lot and began picking up speed. 

“I’m assuming you had balls? At your posh boarding school?” 

“Er…” Draco ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it further. “We only had one. It was when I was 14. We called it the Yule Ball.”

“Why only one?”

“It was for a special occasion. We had two other schools join us as well. It was quite a good time.”

“So every student only has one ball in their lifetime?”

“Of course not. Some of us--the ones from old families--have events like that regularly.”

“I’m sorry if this is overstepping my bounds,” began Y/N, noticing how he tensed up, “So you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But, I’m just wondering, what is your family like?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like are they nice?”

“Oh.” The line in his forehead relaxed. “No. They wouldn’t like you.”

“Glad to hear it,” she said. “Do you like them?”

She heard the breath hitch in his throat. “I don’t know anymore.”

“I’m sure it’s hard to think about it when you feel like they’ve just shipped you off without anyone,” she added. “I’m really sorry, Draco. I know I’ve been a bit mean to you. I know that I’ll never be able to understand what you’re going through right now.”

The slight smile that spread across his face would’ve knocked her to her knees if she wasn’t already sitting down. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

The silence that awaited them for the rest of the journey was comfortable.

oOo

School began to pick up the pace after the first few days. Y/N got into the swing of homework and her extracurricular workload. Draco was having a bit more difficulty, she presumed, but he’d never admit to it. She took pity one evening and gave him her laptop opened to a Khan Academy tab for Physics and was pleased to see that he showed up to class the next day with completed homework. He asked to borrow her laptop on a much more frequent basis after that. 

The routine they settled into had her heart leaping into her chest almost constantly--they’d eat breakfast together at the table, Y/N would try to ignore how pretty he looked across the table as they shared a pot of black tea (earl grey, which Y/N was thrilled to learn was his favorite as well), they’d get in the car, she’d write him notes in physics to help him (even though he never asked, he always smile and give a little shake of his head before unfolding them and intently staring at her writing), they’d drive home together and bitch about their French teacher, he’d retire to his room and do whatever pretty blonde Brits do in the afternoon, they’d meet unexpectedly at the same time in the late evening to have a final cup of tea, and then they’d go to bed and do it all over again. 

It was difficult for her to admit, but Y/N was falling very quickly for Draco. It was gross, and wrong, and manipulative, and completely against the code of conduct for exchange families, but she couldn’t help but spend her days fantasizing about how his gold-spun hair would feel as she ran her fingers through it or how gently she’d trace her fingers around the tattoo on the soft flesh of his forearm…

But Y/N knew those thoughts weren’t right. And they would go away. Eventually. 

“How’s it going?” Sylvia asked, effectively snapping her out of her thoughts. The Art History sub told them to go into independent study, whatever that meant. Y/N was not very good at either of those words.

“Pretty good. I can’t believe it’s been 3 weeks already,” she said. “It’s gonna be Halloween before we know it.”

“I can’t fucking waitttt,” said Sylvia. “I’m gonna be Wednesday Addams.”

“Again?”

“What else would I be? I get a new high collared black dress every year. It’d be a shame if it were going to go to waste. What are you gonna be?”

“One of the thousands of students finishing their UChicago ED app hours before the deadline.”

“You’re kidding. Can’t you just finish it the day before?”

“Where’s the fun in that? And, plus, I don’t have an idea as cool as Wednesday.”

Sylvia smirked as she opened up her planner and began to jot down something. “How’s Draco doing? I haven’t seen much of him lately. It seems like he never hangs out with us at break anymore.”

“Yeah, I ended up getting him connected with the Physics teacher. He’s getting tutored now. He thinks it’s all bullshit, but I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t get into a good school.”

“Is that all you care about?” She smiled at Y/N. “Lizzy was telling me that you’re interested in him.”

“First of all, keep your voice down. Second of all, I’m not supposed to be, so I’m not.” Y/N hoped that the edge in her voice was convincing enough.

Her friend raised her eyebrows so dramatically that her glasses nearly slipped off her nose. “Y/N, who’s gonna hear about it. You guys are both going away at the end of the year anyways, and I’m sure he’s not going to be writing to his dear mum about his love life. If it’s consensual, there’s nothing wrong with it. I think it’d be good for both of you.”

“I see that, but let’s put me in his shoes right now.” Y/N shuffled in her seat and clasped her hands. “I’m rich. I’m British. I’m very hot. My parents throw extravagant balls for me and I kiss pretty girls that say water like ‘wota’. I’ve spent my life in silk and I only drink the finest teas. My family is so important that I had to be shipped off halfway across the world just to be safe. And now my incredibly expensive life has reached a peak because I’m sleeping with a random girl in Ohio that has run approximately 4 stop signs since I’ve met her.”

“You’re sleeping with Draco?” 

Y/N turned to see Lauren, a wide-eyed, obnoxious, but well meaning girl staring at her. She heard Sylvia stifle a laugh behind her. “No. I was kidding.” The smile that she followed with was awkward and showed way too many teeth. 

“Oh, okay,” said Lauren. “Do you know if he likes anyone?”

Sylvia’s smirk widened.

“No, actually, he’s a pretty private guy.” Y/N sent her another tense smile, and Lauren finally turned away.

“Jealous, huh?”

“Shut up, Vie. You know I wouldn’t go for him. Even if I had the chance.”

She just raised an eyebrow and smiled. 

The afternoon brought its own set of struggles. Their French teacher had blown up at another student who had been caught cheating on their last test, and it was all Y/N could do but hold back her snickers until they were out in the parking lot.

“I can’t believe they still managed to conjugate their cheat sheet wrong.” Y/N was gasping for breath as she unlocked the car door and threw her stuff inside. Draco was watching from the passenger seat, his lips in a soft upturn. “Can you imagine? Oh my god.”

He just shook his head and turned to look out the window, but she could see the smile slowly stretching across his face. “Ridiculous. You could totally tell Monsieur enjoyed it, too. I bet he gets off on making kids like Joey cry.”

“I had a teacher like that,” he started. “He was a Poti-a chemistry teacher.”

“Oh? Did he ever attack you?”

“No. He liked me. Family friends and all.”

“Ah. I almost forgot that your family was rich and influential. Thanks for the reminder.” She reached across and lightly punched his shoulder. His smile, though still remaining, seemed to shrink. “Hey, what’s that in your bag?” 

Y/N motioned to the cardstock peeking out of his nondescript black backpack that always seemed to fit more than it was meant to. She could make out a few words written in what looked like a bright red sharpie--something that did not exactly scream Draco Malfoy aesthetic.

He froze up. “Er. It’s from Heather. I think she called it a Homecoming ask?”

Y/N’s throat dried up to the point that no words would willingly make the climb from her diaphragm to her tongue; instead, she settled for giving him a little nod and what she hoped was a convincing smile.

“I told her I’d think about it,” he continued. “I remember you saying that the school dances sucked. So I let her know that I wasn’t sure yet.”

She nodded again. “Super cool. You can do whatever you want, though. You can come with my group if you’d like, but you’re welcome to go with Heather’s.”

“What? So you aren’t coming with me if I go with Heather?”

“Fuck no, dude. I don’t hate her, but I would way prefer to spend a night with my friends than some girl from my French class that only talks to me because she thinks you’re hot.” 

The expression Draco made reminded Y/N that he would never get comfortable with American girls calling him hot. “Ok. Have you found a date yet?”

“Chad from Econ asked me yesterday.”

“Is that why my seat was covered in glitter?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going with him?” Draco’s hand was clenched tight in a fist in his lap.

“I think so,” said Y/N, steeling herself and deciding to just go for it. “But, of course, if you asked me I would say no to Chad. Just out of principle. I am supposed to be your tour guide, after all.”

The only parts of him moving were the few stray wisps of his hair being pushed around by the AC going. 

“But that’d be weird. I’d only expect you to take that up if you really didn’t want to go to the dance itself.” She swallowed and pulled out onto the main street, putting distance between them and the school. He was silent for a few moments. The quiet, normally comfortable between them, was stifling and strange. She pretended to ignore the way he was fiddling with his cuffs. 

“Yeah, it could be,” was all he said before slumping against the window and closing his eyes.

Mrs. Y/L/N was sitting at the head of the coffee table when the two arrived home, carding between a stack of letters in front of her. The mug of something--probably that new decaf blend she hadn’t stopped raving about--was sitting lopsided on a coaster, just barely about to topple off the edge. She looked like she hadn’t moved for hours, the novel she had been previously reading sat face down to preserve the spot next to her no doubt lukewarm drink.

“Hey Mom,” Y/N said as she set her keys down. “Anything good?”

She looked up, her expression morphing from startled to happy. “Other than the college brochures? Nothing, except...hm, what’s this?”

Her well manicured hand pulled at a crimson envelope, with sloping writing that seemed to shimmer in the light. 

To the Y/L/N Family, it read. The loopiness of the writing looked like it wiggled at the ends, but that had to be a trick of the light. It was dim in the kitchen during afternoons, after all. 

“It looks cool, open it u--”

“No!”

Draco’s voice had never sounded so loud as it did then as he lunged across the kitchen, snatching it out of her mother’s hand and clutching it to his chest. “Er, it’s for me. I recognize the handwriting.”

 “Cool, see you later,” said Y/N. She was up the stairs and slamming her door before either of her housemates could say another word. After the horrible embarrassment that was technically Draco’s rejection, she needed to be alone. 

Even burying her face into her pillow and squeezing her eyes shut didn’t keep the scenes from their car ride at bay. She had been so stupid, so stupid. Why did she even think he wanted that? He was her brother, after all. Oh god, does he think we’re all from Alabama or something?

She wallowed for a few more mournful minutes before deciding that she had to pick herself up and handle it like an adult. After all, she was going to be 18 in just a few months. There was no excuse for her to act like a child anymore. And, plus, it wasn’t like she couldn’t just play this off as a pity invite. Yes,that’s what she’d frame this as if he ever asked her about it again. She felt bad for him was all it was. 

Once satisfied with her internal dialogue, she rolled out of bed and made for the foyer where her bag was still on the table. She’d first walk on Legos barefoot before she had to let a stupid boy--especially one that didn’t know how to turn on their shower and had to ask for her help every time--come between her and her 4.0. Never.

Her thoughts were cut short, however, when she heard a new sound from his side of the hallway. She froze, listening closely. 

Draco was crying.

[thisismyhell]

Bodyguard (Part 1)

I’m giving fanfiction a try! this is my very first one, and i think itll become a series. 

Reader x Loki

Summary: Reader works with the Avengers as a research Biologist, and receives a worrying text from a toxic ex boyfriend. Loki enlists himself in watching out for reader, and fluff ensues. 

Warnings: mentions of stalker/toxic ex boyfriend, fluff

Since living in the compound, you were accustomed to not only high security, but constantly being surrounded by Gods, Monsters, and people who could kill with a look. You happened to fall into the cracks of these people, weaving your way into each basket briefly before moving on.

Since you lived where you worked, spending time late at night in a meeting, your office, or in the gym wasn’t out of the ordinary. You thrived in this environment since you could spend all your time doing your work without having to take travel time or traffic into account.

Tonight was one of those nights. You were working in your office, deep in concentration on your recent research proposal, when a notification from your phone almost gave you whiplash. You caught your breath, and reached for your phone, noticing that it was an unrecognized number. Not thinking much of it, you unlocked your screen, when your stomach dropped.

“Hey (Y/N), it’s been a while eh? Wanted to let you know im in the neighbourhood, and wanted to get drinks some time with you. I can pick you up at the compound. -K”.

Your ex-boyfriend. How did he manage to get your new number? You shouldn’t even be surprised, considering how easy it was for him to insert himself into every aspect of your life when you were together.

Months ago, you started to notice how jealous he became at every little thing. You wanted to go out with friends? He insisted on either coming or giving you a curfew. Weren’t home on time to his liking? He would track your phone and show up unannounced to wherever you were, loudly declaring to everyone around you that you must be cheating on him. He had horrible trust issues, and sometimes you wondered what he would do if you stopped giving in to his words. Would be become forceful? Would you be in physical danger? Thankfully, you mustered up the strength to call it quits before you found out, but who knows what would have happened if you hadn’t?

You blinked back into reality and took in your surroundings. You were surprised that you felt so alone suddenly. Usually you have no problem with staying up late like this, even if you were the last in the research building. You began to quickly pack up your belongings, clutching your phone, swiftly exiting into the hallway. You knew you were just being paranoid, but you looked down both sides of the hall before racing to the elevators. Once it arrived, you jumped in and pushed the button incessantly until you were safely inside. As you listened to the dings of each floor pass, and watched the lights switch to each level, you began to calm down. You felt ridiculous. Why would you be scared of your lazy ex boyfriend over a text message? Maybe it was someone sending a prank text. Maybe he wasn’t even in the city. And lord help anyone who tried to break into the compound without getting tackled by security. You were fine.

The elevator doors slid open and you gained back your confidence; stepping out onto the main floor when all of a sudden you hit what felt like a brick wall, sending your things flying, and dropping your phone to the floor. You gasped, shoving yourself against the wall and throwing your forearms in front of your face. Someone grabbed them and tried to move them down but it wasn’t working. “(Y/N would you relax?! It’s just me.” Loki. That monster. You opened your eyes and pushed back at him, your fear being replaced with anger and frustration. “LOKI I AM GOING TO KILL YOU I SWEAR TO GOD WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN THIS BUILDING YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS-“. His laughter brought you back to reality. “(Y/N) what is wrong with you? You really have terrible reaction times to your fear, we should work on that”. Through all the commotion and stress you didn’t realize it but you began to cry. “Love, are you alright? I didn’t scare you that badly did I, what’s wrong?”.

You slid down the wall and haphazardly began to collect your things. You picked up your phone, and handed it to Loki, who looked at the message on the screen. “(Y/N), is this who I think it is?”. You nodded. Once you packed your bag, Loki helped you up. “Is this why you were so scared? You thought I was him?”. You nodded again, catching your breath.

The two of you began to go outside, walking along the garden pathway back to the main building where you all lived. “I haven’t heard from him in months. Not since I ended things. He took it horribly but I never thought that maybe it wasn’t over for him. He seemed like the type to be mad, but then move on to some other girl once he had the chance. I can’t believe he found my number again.” Loki listened to you as you walked in the dark, illuminated only by compound streetlamps and the fireflies of the gardens around you. “(Y/N), I’ll be honest, I find it highly unlikely for someone to forget about you that quickly without remorse. I know the two of you were not together for that long, but he seems to still be struggling with the thought of letting you go.” You felt a bit surprised. “What, so I had this text coming to me? I should have known he would want to make contact again?”. He realized what he had implied. “No, I’m sorry. What I mean is, I am not surprised that he would want to have this influence you. Forgive me, but maybe his skull is too thick to get that through.” You laughed and he smiled down at you.

________________________________________________________

You and Loki had clicked almost immediately. You were a researcher hired into the Stark company, bringing your useful knowledge of biology and mechanics. Since there were now Gods and Aliens on the team, Stark thought it would be quite useful to try and bridge the gap. So he went through universities around the world, not sure what exactly he was looking for. But when he walked into your lab by accident, you had yelled over to him for an extra hand in helping tie some stem cells together. He noticed your focus and lack of ick-factor and interviewed you on the spot. Well, more like allowing you to crack open his gadgets and listen to you go on and on about how you think human properties could be incorporated into his technology. He was instantly hooked.

He brought you back to the compound and introduced you to the team the next week. Loki noticed how you weren’t flinching at any of the information being thrown at you, and even began to ask questions to your team members about their own worlds. He noticed that you were already acting like a team member, without needing the blood bond. You were gung-ho the minute you set foot on the property. And he respected that.

The two of you became closer after you expressed interest in reading some Asgardian texts that you were useless in deciphering. Loki agreed to be your partner in your research adventure, offering a better look into each others lives.

 ________________________________________________________

As you looked back up at your friend, you realized how thankful you were that he had almost scared you to death. If he hadn’t, you’d be all alone out here in the dark, probably looking over your shoulder at every snap of a twig. Although the compound was quiet and secluded, there were still the elements. The two of you came to a stop outside the main entrance doors. “Are you feeling alright now?”, “Yes, thank you. I’m glad I didn’t have to make that walk alone. Usually I’m fine, but that text message really threw me off”. “I can see why. What kind of idiot jus announces their desire to ambush you like that? He doesn’t seem like the strategic type.” He smiled down at you, trying to lighten the mood. You reciprocated, letting him open the door for you.

The wait for the elevator and the ride up to your rooms was passed with asking each other about your work days and if you had evening plans. Neither of you were good at keeping an honest sleep schedule. As the two of you were saying goodnight to each other in your hallway, he stopped you before entering your room. “(Y/N), I know you can hold your own, but if you ever need someone to walk you home again, you know how to contact me”. You reached up and gave him a hug. “Thank you Loki, I appreciate that. And you know the same always goes for you”. You let him go and as he walked away from you, you called out to him once more; “By the way, what were you even doing in the research building today?”. He stopped and turned to face you, “I saw your office light on from outside. I was hoping to run into you before you left for the evening. Unfortunately I ended up frightening you rather than enticing you”. You raised your eyebrows, “Loki, you know you always entice me”.

He walked away, and you entered your room feeling a wave of comfort and relief wash over you.