#i just feel jealous and bitter

[apostaterevolutionary]

Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao

Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all and…

(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what he’s done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And that’s fine! You can still enjoy him! I’m not saying you can’t and it’s important to me that people understand that! I’m just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I don’t think that’s really debatable. And I can’t really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause it’s not)

Getting anon hate on the regular, being told “oh you’re allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucks”, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and there’s no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and that’s it

And now… 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess I’m glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they aren’t constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And I’m glad it’s not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else

But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh

[paperglader]

they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

had a really interesting convo yesterday about ethics and whether intent or results matters (eg if you tried to make an ethical purchasing choice but the business was actually exploitative as hell, does that "count") and very much came to the conclusion that sure, if you're concerned with your personal immortal soul, as a christian might be, then intention counts. but if what you're focused on is your impact on the world, then intention means nothing if the actions have negative results, right? (that doesn't mean you're to blame for them! you didn't know! but you also don't get "ethics points" for trying, you know?)

and this also got me thinking about the whole christian idea that sinful thoughts are as bad as sinful actions because. they're just not imo. maybe for the sake of your Immortal Soul they are points against you, if that's your jam. but in terms of putting good into the world, in terms of your impact on other people, the ONLY thing that matters is what you choose to do with those thoughts. there is no way that "was kind to someone who was pissing me off, for the sake of community harmony" or "helped an acquaintance with a task even though I felt resentful about the time spent doing that" is a Bad Thing for the world

and it made me wonder how much purity culture and thought policing is rooted in (mostly evangelical) cultural christianity and this idea that ethical choices are an individual thing because what matters is the impact of them on YOUR soul and not, you know, things we do because of what we owe the world around us / because of love for others / because a world where people are trying to put good into it is a hell of a lot nicer to live in than one where people are only worried about themselves

i grew up evangelical but like. fairly mild evangelical and even though there wasn't a big focus on hell and stuff, i definitely fixated on imperfect thoughts and behaviours that were putting absolutely no harm into the world, rather than focusing on what i could do to put good into it, and that individualistic vs outward-focused approach to morality has been something i've grappled with a lot as an adult. but i never really thought about it as simply as this and really that's what it boils down to. are you making the ethical choice because you're trying to put good in the world, or because it would make you a "good person" to do so? because the answer to that 100% defines whether it's the thought or the result that counts

[apoptoses]

do you ever make yourself sad before bed thinking about how Armand’s hostility and desperation towards Lestat comes partly from the fact that Lestat came first to rescue Nicki and then to try and help Louis and Claudia, but no one Armand knew ever actually attempted to rescue or help him?

[romance-incubomp3]

god it is so annoying that any time someone makes a post along the lines of “hey maybe don’t graphically traumadump on an internet stranger’s post about something nice and positive” there’s people who are like “um well I guess you just want to silence traumatized people therapy isn’t free you know they need somewhere to vent so just smile and put up with it:) let people cope:)” SHUT UP SHUT UP!!

[lobaznyuk]

the s*xual tension between me and the decision to watch the dance moms reunion

[lunarmochi]

it's nearly midnight and i'm salty

thinking abt being in your room, in the house of lamentation, and you're incredibly envious and bitter... but you'd rather not bother anyone, so you're just holding it all in while you sit on your bed.

but levi can feel it. he feels a "disturbance in the peace" so to speak, and he can feel how utterly bitter and jealous you are rn. it's a feeling he knows all too well, so he takes one of his handheld consoles with him and comes to your room. he's... not exactly good with words, and this is the only way he can think to help you feel better.

he says nothing, merely sits next to you and sets the console on your lap before playing a game on his phone. you're a bit confused until you realize. ah. this is his way of saying "i can tell you're feeling horrible, let me keep you company until you feel better."

you smile softly and pick the console up off your lap, leaning your head on his shoulder as you open up a game you two play together.

even without words, he makes you smile.

[cryptid-ghoulette]

personal below cut

I knew the distance would feel worse after spending a whole month together. I knew that going back to not being able to kiss her, or hold her would be so hard after being able to for a whole month.

But fuck.

This is so hard.

I know I’ll be back in July.

I know I’ll get to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I missed her.

But for now, this fucking sucks.

[alstroemerian-dragon]

the thing about. okay so when i first got into dr i was like ‘i think i prefer an outcome where they ultimately cant wake the other ten members of their class and its just the five survivors because then the deaths meant something yknow’ and while i still think that that kind of thing has. yknow. merit and value. i have actually come around to preferring them being able to do it. with one massive caveat.

it takes forever.

it takes at least a year and a half, two years maybe, before they (lets be real, hajime) even gain the knowledge of the system, work out its quirks, beef up its security and tech, connect it to enough power, and build the proper technology to manage something like this, and even then, each person is going to need a unique plan of action. its going to take ages. i think its best if they start from the first death through the last, which has the added benefit of waking the impostor first and gaining a good moral compass and grounding presence. but… i mean. its almost two years before they even manage the first dive into their brain. two years of living alone, just the five of them, of building each other up of building a dynamic, one that works, and of changing and growing because they have no other choice.

so when it comes down to them actually attempting to wake the first person… theres some anxiety. theres some worry. theres a lot of ‘this is going to radically alter how we relate to each other and everyone else’. theres a lot of ‘this is going to make things weird’. theres a lot of ‘theyre not going to understand a lot of things at first not only because its been two years since we all went under and everything has changed in that time but also because the five of us have a fundamentally different relationship now with each other than we will have with anyone else we wake up. thats going to cause conflict’.

and i dont even necessarily mean that in a romantic relationship sense (though if you know me you know im deeply unwell about kuzuhina and also an absolute sucker for polycule shit so yeah i do also kinda mean it in that way), but just that their bond is so strong. living alone on an island in the middle of nowhere for two years with just four other people will do that. they know each other in fundamental ways that the others may never manage. fuyuhiko may get peko back, but her relationship with him will never be the one he has with hajime, or akane, or kazuichi or sonia. sonia will get gundham back, but despite them definitely regaining their romantic relationship (after an adjustment period, of course), there will be an odd dissonance in how well hajime and akane know her in ways gundham doesnt. akane will get nekomaru back in her life. but he will never be the person she goes to with the things she goes to hajime with.

this isnt necessarily entirely negative, of course. relationships are always going to be different with different people because theyre. yknow. different people. but i think theres going to be a period of time, maybe even the rest of their lives, where the ten sleepers in the vault will understand, intrinsically, that the relationship the five survivors has is never going to be fully understood, and will always be special and different from what they all have as a group.

hajime, fuyuhiko, kazuichi, akane, and sonia all faced arguably the hardest parts of the healing process, the stumbling blindly with no hand to hold except the others with an equal lack of sight, together, and that. does things. to a relationship.

they will all manage the healing process, and they will all struggle through it. but never in the same way those five did.

[rosemaryreality]

alright but hear me out:

[shot-by-cupid]

All my friends have started dating and I am happy for them really, but I’m not interested in that kinda thing so I’m feeling a little left out Y’know? And they’re all talking about going on like. Double dates n stuff and that’s great but what about Staci, huh?

[databent]

If it was like, a fucking Choice I wouldn't hate being awake all night nearly as much but when my Accursed Disease puts me on a nocturnal schedule whether I like it or not its just so hard to want to do anything it makes me so mad it fucking sucks. good god. its like seasonal depression cos i sleep right through all the fuckin daylight except i get to experience it every 2-3 weeks all year round:) yay:) kill me

[phagodyke]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

[queenangst]

im catching up with all my manga updates and man. hirayasumi genuinely is one of my current favorite slice of lifes it just makes me so calm. so understanding. the ordinary struggles. the ordinary wonders.

[aria0fgold]

The mkp5 brain getting fueled sooo much and also like, it's just so insane how on p5's side, the Phantom Thieves has such a big support system with how that's a core part of the whole story, gaining allies that'd help with the whole thing. And yet on Magic Kaito's side, Kaito barely Has anyone that can help him, he's always The One Helping, the only reliable help he can get is from Jii-san, whenever Conan's plans intersect with Kaito's, Conan could get Kaito to help along with the plan, and the few times Kaito needed an extra hand for help, it'd only just be Conan. My guy Needs more people, istg he needs more reliable help, my guy only has himself and an old man.