#i just feel better posting in tumblr tags sometimes rather than journaling

[willowfey]

a certain kind of sick when ur fighting with ur mom and everything she’s saying either confirms negative beliefs u have about urself or goes against positive ones without her even realising it most of the time. i am 13 in a grownup’s body and it makes me feel like i have rotting leaves in my stomach. do not tell me that i behave like a child and i need to grow up bc i am a child and also i’m not a child so pls do not treat me like one or i will be silent for the rest of the day while i try to figure out what exactly i am and how exactly that me is supposed to behave

[fuck-your-proana-blog]

Your account inspired and motivated me to unfollow the bajillion pro ED tags I was following, unfollow/block all those pro ED accs I was following, and block all the pro ED tags. I feel so strange (/pos) and free. My dash is filled with stuff that ACTUALLY made me happy rather than sad. I ate peanut butter on toast today and it was scary but it was so so good I had forgotten the taste but!! I remember it now!!! I’m crying tears of joy. Thank you so so much.

I'm so damn proud of you! I've been there, and it is definitely a freeing and new feeling after suffering for so long. Knowing there aren't any REAL "rules" about what you can and can't eat is an amazing feeling. Peanut butter toast is way too good to not eat; I have it often in my recovery because peanut butter is such a wonderful food that is meant to be enjoyed by everyone, as long as they're not allergic of course- I eat peanut butter almost every day now. Just today I had a food I've never eaten prepared by myself as I still have some "fear food" issues, but it was one of the best things I've ever eaten- even over a year into recovery I'm still discovering new foods to enjoy the freedoms of eating, and I laughed and enjoyed the cooking process with my husband and we were both dumbfounded by how good it came out- so don't give up because it keeps getting better the more you recover and allow the freedoms you were missing out on back into your life!

Recovery is full of celebrations, milestones, freeing feelings, and great accomplishments. There will be some hard stuff too though, so remember these great feelings when the hard days happen. I definitely have more good days than bad due to recovery though; that's for sure! Try to journal these happy and positive feelings to remember if you find yourself having an upsetting day down the road(on paper if possible so you can read it without the computer/phone- there will be days it's best to stay off the Internet). Not trying to scare anyone, but not every day will feel as great since EDs are seriously mental illnesses with many symptoms to face in recovery.

I need to warn you though, and everyone reading this here on Tumblr, that NO tag is 100% safe- selfish pro anas post in the recovery tags too, so I do suggest stepping away from Tumblr sometimes- get back out into the "real world," spend time with family, friends, pets, etc- enjoy the outdoors, do some fun movement; not to burn calories, but just go for a short walk outside if you can or sit in the sun/shade and just enjoy the world around you. Experience the world pro ana was trying to take from you by trying to force you to spend all day looking at disturbing images and repeating cruel mantras that urge you to suffer- life was not meant to suffer from- it (and definitely food!) was meant to be enjoyed by us all.

Stay motivated in recovery, and feel free to message me any time- I am disabled so I am usually at home around my phone and answer messages pretty quickly as long as I'm not having a health crisis (unfortunately my body got pretty damaged by my ED, so I will always have reminders of what my ED has taken from me and appointments to go to for various chronic conditions).

Wishing you all the best, and have fun as you rediscover the freedoms of eating what you want without punishment- I'm still making new discoveries of "food joys" all the time!❤️

[ollyou]

Sorry another non-art post but I wanted to point out to some very disrespectful people that this is NOT an art only account > <“

This account was actually made to be mostly rambles, and just because I like pmtok and center most of my stuff around olly doesnt mean thats all i do either! I never wanted to be a pmtok-only artist; i just draw what i want to rather than what other people like to see

I’m a rambler at heart and if you dont like that then you shouldnt follow me, or just mute #rambling !! Alternatively if you don’t want to see any negative posts, mute #negative ^_^

Tbh as someone who has never had an anonymous ask box before joining the pmtok fandom, stuff like this just comes off as really mean and dehumanizing?? Please unfollow me if you have a mindset like this. I constantly tell people to just send me fun asks and stop trying to order me around like a slave and then people who claim to follow me pull this…. 😓 I hope you know that if you think you’re entitled to my artwork and can tell me to “shut the fuck up” for simply speaking how I feel about the constant harassment the toxic side of the fandom has given me and my friends/mutuals, I do not like you and you’re not allowed to enjoy my art tbh….

There is no “we”, just this rude person who likes to pretend they are a fan. But no fan acts like this. I want my fanbase to be a nice and welcoming place full of gentle and friendly people, not entitled bullies who treat me like their slave. Keep it to yourself if you don’t enjoy my rambling, please, or just unfollow/mute the tags I appropriately place for these sorts of posts <3

I blocked this anon immediately after screenshotting this but tbh I’m not sure if that blocks their actual account too… cause I wanna make sure they can’t view my account if all they want to do is dehumanize me. Idk it’s really weird how this fandom acts sometimes which is why I’m so strict with my dni and byf stuff but people don’t listen most of the time…. Agh!!

I make one post telling the people harassing and stalking me for several months if not years to leave me and my friends alone, and these people suddenly get the idea I’m just an art-making machine…. It’s frustrating but in the end I just want to receive nice anon asks. I appreciate all the friendly anons!! Thank you so much. You make my days so much better. I feel bad that sometimes I can’t respond to them, but I read them all. I save them all. I love them all <:)

But yeah… please unfollow me if you’re unwilling to just mute my #rambling and #negative tags when all you do is complain I don’t post art enough…. Also idk, if you want me to post more art then…? Why not you compliment my art? What’s the point of not ever supporting my art when I post it, then complaining and belittling me when I don’t post it? That’s why I block these people. Very very disrespectful.

I know it’s best to just ignore this stuff! And I do. I ignore a lot of it. It is quite annoying, but I ignore it so I can give the nice people room to speak. It’s really rare that I actually speak up about this stuff tbh. I’m almost positive these are all just the same few people block evading me via VPN anyway hahahah. Especially since I’ve seen them do that, too.

Also, I do recognize it’s very likely no one will read this all the way. But I usually don’t write things expecting people to read them! I mostly write stuff for myself, like a journal of some sorts. :D It’s probably a bit weird when I advertise my art and whatnot too, but y’know. I don’t want my tumblr blog to be just… some soulless art dump. I’m not looking for attention, just respect, I guess.

Ah, in the end I’m sure those bullies will use this to fuel their constant harassment of me anonymously (because they too cowardly to hate me normally, I guess), but tbh they just kind of… complain about a singular post I’ll make for the first time in forever for days straight and act like that type of post is all I make, so I guess there’s no appeasing them. Not that I even want to make happy the people who treat me as subhuman.

Idk why people are so entertained by being assholes, but maybe that’s just the naive part of me thinking! I’m no grown adult or anything. In my head I am just a little baby still learning about the online world as I was raised very sheltered from all that stuff and avoided toxicity wherever I went… 💦 I am a tumblr baby! Sorry..!

Ah!!!! Rambling too much. Hahah. Thank you for reading. Hey, if you got this far, why not you send me a friendly anon message? Gotta clean out all the garbage from within my inbox, though I think I’ve done a pretty good job at it as is.

I will post again when I have something to say or more art to share!!!!

[phagodyke]

.

I understand ppl generally have good intentions but loooll if I tag smth dot vent I'm just getting shit out of my head. I'm self aware enough to know that my emotions in the moment don't necessarily correlate with the truth despite how real it may feel while I experience it + someone trying to negate those thoughts while I'm still in that particular mental state can actually do more damage - I don't react well to anything that could be construed as being told to disregard/distrust my own mind without solid evidence bc I've had previous issues with paranoia/delusion. I'm just word vomiting so I don't ruminate while I'm trying to sleep and usually I'll wake up feeling better in the morning, evening/night is always the worst time of day for me mentally. feels very weird to get comments from strangers on smth thats clearly personal + a vent post but thats on me I need to change my vent tag to smth ppl can't just stumble across. I do use a journal too but the limitations of posting on tumblr sometimes help me articulate those thoughts better than I can write them by hand + even if no one reads them I feel more relief knowing its out there in a forum space rather than isolated in a notebook that never leaves my drawer. anyway blocked goodbye

[pens-swords-stuff]

ABOUT ME

➸ Name // Undine ➸ Age // 25 ➸ Pronouns // She/her (They/them is also acceptable!) ➸ Writeblr // @pens-swords-stuff ➸ Background // Japanese-American, queer, hobby writer ➸ Enjoys // Video games, playing music, binging anime and TV shows, compiling data for fanfiction/WIPs, bullet journaling, spending too much time on Tumblr Hey everyone! I'm not a new writeblr; I've been around for nearly 3 years now. I haven't been very active in the past year, so I'm reintroducing myself to the community as I dip my toes back in the water! I'm looking for new writeblrs to follow, so please reblog and I'll come check you out. I'd love it if you could introduce yourself to me in the reblogs because I'm always looking for new friends/mutuals to support. Friends and mutuals, I would love and appreciate a boost, as well as an update on how you're doing! I follow from my main blog @undinology. Contact me through my writeblr @pens-swords-stuff and not my main blog, please and thank you!

MY BLOG

I'm primarily known for my writeblr advice. I write guides designed to help people navigate the community as well as tips and tricks for those who want some extra guidance. Sometimes I post writeblr opinion pieces about current events/trends sometimes if I have something to say. If you've been around, chances are you've seen some of them floating around! I also give standard writing advice on occasion as well. Feel free to ask me anything, just check out my ask guidelines first! ➸ My advice masterlist ➸ Ask guidelines I also run a lot of community events! Keep your eyes peeled for any future events; I run them all on this blog! Here are the events that I've created/hosted so far: ➸ Writeblr Secret Admirer (Annual) ➸ Writeblr Positivity Week (Annual) ➸ WIP Blind Date (Intermittent) Besides all of that, I create writing memes, do a lot of writing positivity posts, and occasionally post my own writing! Supporting other writers is incredibly important to me, so I do my best to leave comments and reblogs as much as I can. I love talking with and supporting people, so please feel free to reach out!

Writing info and WIPs under the cut!

MY WRITING

➸ Writing masterlist* ➸ Primary genres // Romance, period, urban fantasy, mysteries, fanfiction *There are several WIPs on my writing masterlist that are on hiatus, and will likely not be discussed on my blog anymore! 98% of my writing is co-written with my best friend and writing partner @decantae. We've been writing together for nearly 6 years, and we primarily focus on writing bisexual romances in a variety of genres that spiral into massive plots. Our most recent focus has been writing period romances. Our current passion project and the WIP that I write for the most is a fanfiction period romance that features a huge polyamorous relationship, and it's nearly at 600k words written over a year and a half thus far. (No, it's not a novel, and it's written just for our own enjoyment, not necessarily meant to be read by others, so that massive word count is okay!) The other 2% of my writing are my solo projects. I'm a much better co-writer than I am a solo writer, and they are worked on much more sporadically, but I love them all the same. I have many ideas and I've dropped them just as quickly as I've discussed them! I'm a rather flighty solo-writer who is constantly juggling several ideas both novels and fanfictions. There are two WIPs in particular that have stuck around however, and that I talk about the most on my blog.

ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID

➸ Genre // Murder mystery, romance ➸ Tropes // Fake relationship/wedding/marriage, bisexual rivalmance/minor enemies-to-lovers, detectives ➸ WIP Introduction ➸ Character Introductions ➸ WIP Tag // #atb ↳ All posts about ATB, including musings, memes, jokes ➸ WIP Tag // #always the bridesmaid ↳ Only official posts such as snippets, intros, lore, etc. ➸ Synopsis There’s been a string of murders. While tragic, murders are commonplace enough in [Fictional City] that no one blinks an eye when they are reported on the six o’clock news. The victims had nothing in common, so it was largely believed to be the work of separate killers, unrelated and commonplace. Except for one tiny detail: Every single victim had been a part of a wedding party the month prior to their death. Two private detectives were hired to investigate separate incidents, two different murders. When it becomes apparent that this trail of wedding murders has one culprit, it was only natural for them to team up and work together, because two heads are better than one. The only problem: They are rival detectives with differing styles that clash and find each other insufferable. When clue after clue lead them to dead-ends and false information, they are forced to confront the reality that they need to do something drastic to pin down the culprit. Pretending to be engaged and planning a fake wedding to lure out the killer seems extremely out there, but if they can survive a fake relationship, perhaps they can bring down the killer once and for all. It’s a crazy plan, but it just might work. Because if there is one thing for certain… The victim is always the bridesmaid, and never the bride.

PROJECT VESTIGE

➸ Genre // Coming-of-age, magical realism, mystery ➸ Themes // Connections between the past and the present, nature is alive, nothing is truly gone, remembrance and memory, found family, history repeats itself, it's never too late, magical phenomenon being 'normal' ➸ WIP Introduction ➸ Character Introductions ➸ WIP Tag // #project vestige ➸ Synopsis When Brooke started hearing voices, she thought that she was going insane. There was laughter when she was all alone, she overheard arguments in empty spaces… She’s not losing her grip on reality however. The earth remembers. It remembers the conversations, the laughter, sobs, and the shouts. It’s called place memory, and the places whisper and repeat them out loud so that nothing is ever truly forgotten. Anyone can hear it — all you have to do is listen and pay attention. Most people can’t hear place memory or ignore it because they’re too distracted with their own lives, but Brooke is listening now, and she’s paying attention to every murmur. People are disappearing in Antium. At first it seems like no big deal — just a college student skipping town — but one by one, more people go missing.  It’s the Bay Witch, the locals say, the Bay Witch is snatching people away just like she did in the past; it’s happened before. Could it really be a local legend that’s responsible for these disappearances, or is there something far more sinister happening in Antium? Using her newfound discovery of place memory, Brooke and her friends start unraveling the truth behind the Bay Witch and missing people from over a hundred years ago. Little do they know, learning what truly happened back then may pave the way to them finding the missing people in the present.

If you made it to the very end of this long intro, thank you so much! Please feel free to ask about my WIPs or come hang out with me in my asks. I'm really looking forward to reconnecting with old friends, finding new writers to follow, and re-immersing myself into this lovely community!

[dreamingofscully]

Grey Canyon 7/?

Rating: Current Chapter: PG, Series: up to Mature Categories: Western AU / MSR / WIP WC: 1450 / Total WC:  7.3k

Updated on Mondays and Fridays.

Thank you to @ceruleanmilieu​ for the beta ❤️ Tagging: @impulsive-astrophile​ @baronessblixen​ @suitablyaggrieved​ @gillywitch​ @today-in-fic​ (let me know if you want to be tagged when I post!)

all chapters in order: ao3 / tumblr

CH 1 / CH 2 / CH 3 / CH 4 / CH 5 / CH 6

CHAPTER 7: “New York”

Grey Canyon, Colorado 1885

Lunches in the dining room or kitchen, and dinners in her room had become customary. He brought her more journals, which she read into the night, staying up far too late and waking bleary-eyed and happy. It had been nearly a year since she’d been able to keep up on any new medical developments. Even though she knew she’d never get the chance to pursue a career in the field, reading about others’ work gave her a taste of her old life, reminding her of why she’d wanted to be a physician in the first place.

As happy as the articles made her, the darkness within her deepened by the same degree. That Mulder had known she’d want them made her pause and feel guilty. His friendship had been a comfort, something she didn’t know she needed. But how could friendship stay strong when it was one-sided? She tested him, poked fun at his stories, but walled herself off from anything deeper. Sooner, rather than later, she felt it would not be enough.

Would losing his friendship, an unbearable thought, be worse than sharing a part of herself that she’d buried so deeply, she felt belonged to a completely different person? Could she be the woman that she once was? The possibility of her former self re-emerging thrilled and terrified her.

It was dinner. He sat across from her, telling another story, trying to convince her of something mad. For once, she was only half-listening, lost in her thoughts of where this connection between them was going. She’d never been able to pretend very well, though, and Mulder noticed.

“You’re not listening, Dana,” he said. He wasn’t upset, even though she felt he had a right to be. “Story’s a bit too far-fetched, even for me I admit.”

“I’m… I’m sorry, Mulder, I was just distracted.”

“Anything you care to share?” He smiled at her, his eyes soft and gentle. He never pushed, never tried to force anything out of her. Sometimes she wished he would.

The same old conversation, she thought. ‘No, I’m fine’, is your next line, Dana.

She found herself, instead, telling a story of her own.

“My father, he… was a captain in the navy, during the war,” she started, not quite believing she was telling him this. If she went far back enough, things weren’t so bad. “He’d distinguished himself, made a name for himself, despite being an immigrant.”

She looked out the window, at her own warped reflection in the frosted glass. The lamp painted her face in grotesque shadows. Her hands found the edge of her napkin, fraying the edges.

Swallowing, she continued. “He was able to use his influence to help his children get into good schools. I excelled. We were very close. I think… he was proud of me,” she paused, blinking back the threat of tears. “He died, about a year ago.”

“I’m sorry,” Mulder said, his hand reaching across to cover hers, stilling their restless movements.

“I’d been accepted into medical school, a rare thing for a woman,” she looked back at him. “New York—it is the very best and the very worst, at the same time.”

Mulder nodded, squeezed her hand, his focus giving her courage. She trusted him, not knowing why she should. Her father told her she’d had good instincts about people, recognizing almost immediately who had integrity, and who did not. Looking at Mulder now, she knew him, almost as much as she knew herself.

“My brothers. They didn’t do so well in school. They… got involved with different sorts of people. It was a vicious circle—they could not please their father by being smart or hard-working, so they tried to win him over by bringing home money obtained from more dishonest means. My father was aware of how these… groups preyed on those who were less fortunate. Their relationship only got worse. When he died…”

Dana withdrew her hand, clenched them underneath the table. It hurt to say the words, to allow the reality of what had happened to enter the air of this room, to add to the weight on Mulder’s already heavy shoulders by sharing her burden with him.

“Because I was an unmarried woman, they took control. I had no other recourse. They would not allow me to go to school. Instead, they said I was to marry.”

“But you wouldn’t,” Mulder leaned forward.

“The person—” she stopped. “I do not like to speak harshly, to judge, but the man they wanted to give me to was just the sort of person you would expect, given their type of dealings. I suspect I was meant to be payment. Their younger sister in exchange for more power, more money.” She spat the words out like venom. The anger she’d felt when she’d first realized what her brothers intended came back with equal strength.

“I thought I could reason with them. Perhaps I could be a doctor for their ‘organization’. I would have done anything, except they would not listen. They use violence and intimidation to do what they want, I could do nothing. There was no one else after Papa...”

Dana breathed heavily and covered herself with her shawl, overcome with a sudden chill, though the room was not cold. There, she’d done it, for good or ill. She’d run from her family, abandoned her life while he had chased ghosts for ten years in hopes to bring his own back together.

“So you find yourself here, in hiding? Playing school marm and nursemaid to a bunch of —”

“Mulder.”

“I’m sorry, I just...”

When she looked up at him again, his face, normally filled with amusement and softness and passion, was now like a stormcloud, staring off into the darkness of her room. It reminded her of his outburst in her room late at night, what seemed like so long ago.

“Your mother?” he said.

“She… could do nothing. She felt my choice to be a doctor was a mistake, that I should accept my duty to the family, and be a wife. That I should accept it without complaint,” she said. Guilt rose up inside her, thinking about her mother: they would not hurt her, would they? “I don't have a family any more, Mulder.”

He rose from his chair and paced. She could feel his anger coming off of him in waves, while she shivered in place, unmoving.

“There must be something—”

“I have learned to live with my fate, Mulder.”

“I don’t accept that,” he said, waving his hands around her modest room. “You deserve so much better than this.”

“Please, sit.”

He looked at her, saw her.

“You’re cold.” He brought over a quilt from her bed and laid it across her shoulders, rubbing his warm hands along her arms before crouching beside her. She let out a shaky breath, imagined she could see the water vapor apparating between them.

“I can see your mind working. Trying to think of something to do. Please, Mulder. It is too risky.”

“Are these people really that dangerous?”

She nodded, silently pleading with him.

He looked at her, reluctant but steady, then cupped her face. “I do not agree. But I promise.”

She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning into his hand. Warmth spread through her chest at his touch. She was so tired, but the weight of her secrets had been somewhat lightened, and his promise lifted her spirits. She chanced a smile when she opened her eyes.

“If all of this hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t have met. Perhaps this was all meant to be, fate… destiny,” she pressed her lips into his palm, and brought his hand down to her lap. “I will not pretend though. It was terrible, and difficult, and I have not shared everything.”

But I will, was her unspoken promise.

Mulder caressed her hands with his own, remaining close. The warm lamplight enhanced his features: his stubbled jaw, full lips, strong nose. She couldn’t help it, her hand rose to his mouth, caressed his bottom lip with her thumb. He froze, searched her eyes, his anger disappearing under her touch, replaced with something else. Something she recognized, that he’d awakened within her these past weeks as well.

<i>Yes</i>, she thought, willing herself to speak the words aloud, for her thoughts to reach into his mind.

Suddenly, he blinked, and shook his head. She dropped her hand back to her lap as he stood up, taking his things and moving to leave.

He turned before opening the door. “Thank you, Dana,” he said, his voice like sandpaper. “For telling me.”

“Good night, Mulder.”

He smiled, meeting her eyes with a shy smile. “Good night.”

[wincestreversebang]

Master Post for 2020

That is a wrap, folks! Here is the Master Post for 2020!!! Title: I Never Knew Artist: ncdover1285 Author: midnightsilver Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: drinking Summary: How can you know a person better than you know yourself but never know this? A drunken realization with a little help from a friend. (aka: ‘of course you two love each other, shut up and kiss already’) Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Untouchable for Life Artist: angeltortured Author: sintari Other Pairing(if applicable): Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore, briefly mentioned Dean Winchester/OFC Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Sex Work, Angst (see more at AO3), Jess Positive Summary: When Stanford student Sam is desperate for rent money, his girlfriend Jess suggests he turn to camming. As his uneasy relationship with sex work progresses, Sam's "Top Fan," the lurker Impala67, leaves him conflicted.... and something else. Art: Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: Call of the Wolf Artist: tx_devilorangel Author: ncdover1285 Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: Something is terrorizing a small town in South Dakota. Sets of siblings seem to disappear into the woods and never be seen again. What is being seen is a huge wolf that is lurking in the woods. Sam and Dean go to investigate. Will they figure out what is happening in this small town, or will they be another set of siblings that simply disappear? Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: a sad fact of modern life Artist: emmatheslayer Author: thelegendofwinchester Rating: G Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: The boys make a YouTube channel with the intention to easily be able to spread knowledge to new hunters and help them out. It goes downhill within minutes, but that’s not always a bad thing. Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: Cock Tails Artist: ncdover1285 Author: angeltortured Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: drunk sex Summary: Sam gets drunk off of phallic-shaped drinks at a gay bar. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Strap Your Hands 'Cross my Engines (Don't Mind Me, You Usually Don't) Artist: midnightsilver​ Author: nevergettingoverwincest Other Pairing(if applicable): Sam/Dean/Impala Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: “Hold your horses,” the witch called when Dean pounded on her door. Sam and Baby were behind him, Baby craning her neck to look in one of the cottage’s windows. The door scraped open and the witch poked her head out. “Back already? Who’s this?” she added, looking at Baby. “This is my car,” Dean said, flatly. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Darkness And Light Artist: shealynn88 Author: ncdover1285 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Incest, M/M Summary: Sam and Dean are cursed and they are sent on separate journeys to figure out how to break the curse. Finding out that they may just get exactly what they have been longing for is definitely a bonus. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Burn for You Artist: darklittleheart96 Author: storyspinner70 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Dom/sub, Alpha Dean, Alpha Sam, Unusual ABO Dynamics, Possessive Dean Winchester, Dom Dean Winchester, Sub Sam Winchester, Bondage, Top Dean, Bottom Sam Summary: No one was surprised when both Winchester boys became alphas. The surprise came when Sam figured out that, while he might be happy to be an alpha, the only place eh really wanted to be was on his knees for his brother. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Trust Me Artist: ncdover1285 Author: amypond45 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Time travel, Humor, angst, Sam POV Summary: Stanford Sam travels back in time to the week after he left for college to show Dean how much he loves him. Art: Tumblr Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Spellbound Artist: tx_devilorangel Author: theydraggedmeinowianintleaving Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Past Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Canon Compliant, Up til season 3, not entirely canon compliant though, Dean Winchester Dies, Dean Winchester is saved from Hell, No Apocalypse, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), the angels are good guys, or at least neutral, Jealous Sam Winchester, Castiel & Dean Winchester Friendship, endgame wincest, Dean's crossroads deal, John Winchester Dies, implied wet dreams, Canon-Typical Violence, Sam Winchester Dies, but only for ten seconds, implied soulmates Summary: Sam had always known they were outsiders; hadn’t needed the oh so helpful input from any Harry, Dick or Jane to realize as much when tv had already told him. Or maybe he hadn’t always known; had once been young (and perhaps innocent) enough to not know any better. However, he’d learned; from blurry images on tiny tv-screens whenever their dad found it necessary to rent a motel room for the three of them. On the screen everybody lived in houses rather than an old car driving from one end of the country and then back again over and over and over. Kids didn’t know how to use a gun – Sam might not yet be the marksman his brother was, but he knew how to use every single one in their dad’s arsenal; which was another thing the people on tv didn’t have: a goddamn arsenal of weapons. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: The Human Trap Artist: bluefire986 Author: storyspinner70 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Biker Dean and Sam, Violence, Aftermath of torture, Hurt Dean, Protective Sam, Revenge Summary: Dean and Sam Winchester were new to being the power behind The Knights of Hell biker gang, but they weren't new to the violence and pain that went along with it. They were working for a better future, but that was going to take muscle and brain and a lot of blood. Nothing worthwhile ever changed in a single day, but when Dean doesn't come back from a simple gun drop, The Knights worry that nothing will ever be the same again. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: There Will Be Peace When You Are Done/I'll Come Back To You Artist: angeltortured Author: specialgentrin Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Major Character Death, Season 15 AU Summary: This is it. The final battle against Chuck Shurley. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: No Retreat, No Surrender Artist: bluefire986 Author: smalltrolven Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: After everything with Chuck is over, Sam and Dean move up to Rufus’ cabin in Montana, to finally retire. After the hunting life they’ve led, they know there’s plenty of people and monsters left out there that have a score to settle. All the monsters forgotten, memories avoided and choices made in the past make what happens next even worse. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Box Up My Heart Artist: txdora Author: levisqueaks Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: Moving in with Sam had been perfect. They were living the life at Stanford with the world and their futures spread before them for the taking. But sometimes Sam was swallowed up in pain, whiskey, and knives instead of sweet dreams. One day Jessica stumbles across a secret Sam had been hiding for years and the darkness that takes over him begins to make sense. Especially when they get an unexpected late-night visitor and she witnesses a secret kiss. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: A Little Sugar Artist: emberthrace Author: hit_the_books Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Canon-Typical Violence, Dubious Consent, Season 2, Recreational Drug Use, Explicit Sexual Content (see story for full tags) Summary: People are dying bloodily in Red Bluff, California, and no one knows how. The only leads? A strange substance that may or may not be a narcotic and hints of sulfur, and the rumor that a local outlaw motorcycle gang may be involved. Heading out to Northern California on the hunt, Dean and Sam are going to discover feelings they've been hiding from each other for a long time. Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: Payphone Symphony Artist: emmatheslayer Author: levisqueaks Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Barely Legal, Wincest, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Older Sam Winchester, Younger Dean Winchester, Pining, Deception, Phone Sex, Dirty Talk, Sam Winchester is basically Dean’s Dad, Mechanic!Dean, Age Difference, Phone Sex Operator Summary: Sam Winchester never claimed to be a righteous man but he hoped that his good deeds could someday outweigh the sin in his heart. After all, what 35 year old man, who practically raised their younger brother fell in love with them? Sam finds a mysterious bill that sets off alarms. But when he overhears Dean greeting a caller using a known sex phone company’s name, Sam is tossed into a whirling sea of intrigue, deception, and longing. Can Sam redeem himself? Or will becoming Dean’s most loyal customer only drag him closer to hell? Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: Under a Blue Moon Artist: emberthrace Author: amypond45 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: dubcon Summary: While hunting a lycanthrope, Dean gets bit. Sam figures out a cure, but he knows Dean won’t like it. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Spinning On That Dizzy Edge Artist: angeltortured Author: ratflavored Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Rough Oral Summary: Sam’s tearing himself apart to finish the trials, so Dean forces them to have a night to relax in what he considers the bunker. But there's things going on behind Sam's poker face that Dean can't quite figure out. Most of the time, Dean can let that sort of thing slide, but when he's loose with whiskey and mulling over memories, it's a lot harder. What does Sam want from him? Booze, memories, and cards make for a dangerous combo. Art: Twitter Story: Ao3 Title: Titans Remembered Artist: midnightsilver Author: klove0511 Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Brief, non-graphic attempted bestiality; referenced animal sacrifice, hurt Dean Summary: Following a string of missing people and livestock mutilations, Sam and Dean stumble on a case where the monster has a personal beef with them. When Dean gets himself in trouble trying to do everything himself, Sam must come to the rescue and remind him that they're better as a team. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 | Tumblr Title: Wish Not Change Artist: kelios Author: smalltrolven Rating: R Warnings/Spoilers: spoilers for season 15 Summary: There’s a picture that Dean has in his wallet. It’s of the two of them, even though it’s not really them, but it’s still the stuff that wishes are made of. It takes a journey to New Orleans and back, a new case opened and closed, and wishes made and granted, for that wish to maybe come true. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Free Bird Artist: darklittleheart96 Author: merenwen76 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: ExSlave!Dean, Hunter!Sam, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non, NSFW Art Summary: Written for the following prompt: Non-brothers AU, Sam (35 or older) is one of the best hunter, whose whole life has changed the day he rescued terrified and abused slave named Dean, who within the law is now Sam's slave... Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: The Boy Who Would be King Artist: sarasaurussex Author: annie46 Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: NSFW art, character death Summary: Without a soul Sam can be what he was always meant to be - King of Hell. He doesn't need Dean, or does he? Dean only wants to save Sam, or does he actually want more? Art: Tumblr Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: What Doesn’t Kill You Makes Us Stronger Artist: shealynn88 Author: ncdover1285 Other Pairing(if applicable): Dean Winchester/ others (mentioned), Sam Winchester/ Others (mentioned) Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Dark, M/M, Unknown Incest, Dark Winchesters Summary: Sam and Dean grew up in different ways, but seem to have quite a bit in common. Both finding their way to a life of killing and lies. It’s almost as if something is keeping one from killing the other though when they take the other as a mark. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Moral Insanity Artist: midnightsilver Author: levisqueaks Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Crack, This Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time, Dean Winchester Wears Panties, Cowboy Sam Winchester, The Boys Film a Porno Summary: When Dean got down to it, this was all Sammy’s fault. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but when Sam convinces Dean they should make money by filming porn rather than credit card scams, the brothers end up a little too close to the fire. Why did he feel like he was walking to the gallows? He loved porn. He was a fine curator of porn. Had been since his first skin mag at 13. So why was the thought of being behind the camera so nerve wracking? Once Dean’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness beyond the wall separating them from the storefront he found the director circling Sam. Like a shark. This guy was a shark. Or maybe a vampire? He was some sort of deadly with teeth that wanted to eat his kid brother alive. What the hell had they gotten themselves in to? Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: The Hawk and the Wolf Artist: kelios Author: fledhyris Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: Two brothers, cursed for loving one another a little too closely, wander as knights errant, together yet forever apart. Their luck turns when Dean encounters a young thief, Garth, running from Winchester Cathedral with a stolen book. They have just one chance to meet the conditions for the spell to be lifted; will they win their hearts’ desire or be doomed to live out the rest of their lives under a cruel enchantment? Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: stumbling over universes Artist: kuwlshadow Author: embersdevine Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Some sexual content Summary: Sam and Dean find themselves in another world. Again. But someone finds them and it sort of changes everything. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Titanium (With You On the Edge of Every Tomorrow) Artist: darklittleheart Author: abeautifullie3 Other Pairing(if applicable): (all minor or passing mentions) Charlie/Eileen. Jody/Donna. Cesar/Jesse. OFC/OMC. Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: (full list at author’s LJ or AO3, here be the biggies) Spoilers through entire aired series…just to be safe. Semi-AU. Canon Divergence. A/B/O. Mpreg. Alpha!Dean. Alpha-to-Omega!Sam. A Few Instances of Gore. Graphic OC Deaths. Death of Not-A-Fucking-Lead Character. Graphic Deaths of Minors (not Sam and Dean's). Show Level Violence. Profanity. Graphic Sex. BDSM: A Bit of B…With Some D&S…No S&M. Pregnancy!Kink. Lactation!Kink. Pregnant!Sex. To Be Safe: Graphic Births. Kid!fic. Kinda-sorta Curtain!Fic. Kinda-sorta Fix-It!Fic. Angst. A Bit of Schmoop To Sooth. Summary: All the sigils, all the wards. All the hoodoo and white magic. All of the mystical safeguards they had in place, and yet there was one thing none of it could protect them from... Humans. Against the odds, Dean and Sam have built a life together aside from Hunting. With the help of a curse-turned-gift, they’ve even made their own family. Now, Sam eight months pregnant with his and Dean’s daughter, it’s all being threatened when Dean and their five-year-old son, Jameson, are abducted. It's perfectly executed. As if the kidnapper knows personal details about Sam and Dean's lives. Has knowledge – and access – to the bunker. Has been to their home. It's because she does and has. She's been training with them for over two years. Moved up in the ranks to both helper and friend. Hell, she's watched after Jameson for them. She's been biding her time. Now it’s Dean’s turn to bide his time, take care of his son as best he can while being held prisoner, keep them alive until Sam can rescue them. Which, if there is anything Dean knows for sure…Sam will save them. The weeks passing, stress taking its toll on Sam’s heavily pregnant body, with what little Sam and his people have to go on, what they’ve been able to piece together, he knows it’s up to him to find and rescue his brother and son from a sadistic psychopath who may be right in their midst. Semi-AU from season 6 finale. Some canon stuffs after that still happened. A helluva bunch didn’t…or played out differently. No time for significant “world building”, and not a primary focus, but this is A/B/O. Art: Tumblr Story: Live Journal | Ao3

[jasperwhitcock]

equinox | chapter 06 –– “open book”

here is chapter chapter six of my bella as a vampire and edward as a human fanfic inspired by an au that @bellasredchevy​ posted. you can read the new chapter on AO3 or here. i post updates on AO3 or on tumblr using the #equinoxjw tag. but sometimes it doesn’t work. so. um.

the last time i wrote for this, it was BEFORE midnight sun came out. and now, midnight sun has been out for two weeks (oops...now FOUR weeks), i’ve finished it, i am miserable as a result, and finally, SHOOK. here’s why: in the last chapter, i mentioned esme’s aversion to having her floors ruined by rain. in midnight sun, edward mentioned that multiple times. MY MIND.

everyone reading this is thinking like, yeah, sure “your mind” OR you’re dumb and should not be finding any humor that your lizard brain came up with the same basic idea as smeyer, known racist. maybe esme was just written with hardly any personality so it wasn’t that difficult to end up concocting the same idea. and… okay, you’re right. but in those moments, let me tell you, i was really feeling something. smeyer, you reading this?

to catch up since i’ve been busy, i reread my other chapters. and i really need to go back and edit them. so thank u for being here & bearing with me. hehe

also… the beige… that’s for y’all.

just a lil baby warning: there are conversations revolving around religion in this chapter. i wanted to mention that as a warning for the sake of anyone who has had negative experiences with church/religion (like me!) whom this topic makes uncomfortable. the local doctor and his children are VAMPIRES. you have been warned. 

It was entirely unrealistic –– the possibility of running out of time –– but still, I expedited through the forest, the greenery blurring by me in long unfocused streaks. Although if I paid attention, I knew I’d still be able to see every microscopic detail. The fluffy moss growing along the trunks of the ground, the iridescent droplets of rain dotting the ferny leaves, the patterns in the wood of the trees. But I cared little to as I barreled forward, hurtling over uprooted trees and bounding over large pools of rainwater nestled in the muddy forest floor.

I lost a shoe leaping over the last fifty yard stretch of river, so I kicked the other off carelessly in midair. The shoe fell into the water with a powerful splash from the height. Alice could bite me later. I was in too great of a hurry to deal with her chastisement now. If she really cared for this pair of shoes, she could dive for it. Alice! The thought of my sister made me realize a reason I could actually be late. I needed a change of clothes.

As I fell back to the earth, reaching a hand forward to grasp onto a convenient branch, I focused, envisioning my arrival at the house, the flight of the stairs, and the knock on the door of her room. I pictured asking her my request, and though I had no intention of actually following through with these steps, I hoped the thought was enough for Alice to see what I wanted. It should be, because if it wasn’t, I’d have to go into the house anyways, but I really didn’t want to waste time.

I swung lightly onto the bough of another spruce, and nimbly travelled this way from branch to branch, juggling the journal all the while by throwing it into the air between trees and catching it again. I could run fast and delicately enough to avoid muddying my feet, but with how unfocused I was in my hurry, I didn’t want to risk needing to stop to wash off.

If they hadn’t been concerned already, now would really be the time that my family genuinely considered my descent into insanity, seeing me wildly and maniacally swing through the trees towards the house like Tarzan after having only melodramatically left hours prior.

I knew it wouldn’t last, but I felt somehow liberated by the realizations that I’d come to in my wintry jungle. After hours of considering the right way forward navigating my now complicated future, I’d decided to face it head on. To stubbornly confront the problem. I was tired of feeling unlike myself and feeling distanced from my family, though my new resolution might encourage the rift I’d only just mended with Rosalie. Even with my grievances, I still enjoyed this life, the strength I’d found in it. The sense of rightness and belonging that contrasted how I’d felt so weak and out of step as a human. I wanted to bask in that again. I wanted to take action.

I decided the best way to reattain that freedom was rather than leave the boy alone, I’d challenge the vision. Seek him out this morning. Return the journal to him. Sit beside him. And in my ability to do so, I’d then prove his irrelevance to me, his powerlessness over my self control.

And although it was still a ridiculous thought to entertain, if I did find in me some concern or care for him, then that’d be even better. It’d certainly be strange, but it’d also strengthen my resolve to leave him be with his own life rather than make any choices he couldn’t even be knowledgeable enough about to consent to. Then, once I’d done so, I could truly leave him alone for good. I’d toyed with completely ignoring him from the beginning as I said I would, but then I decided that outcome wouldn’t develop from inaction. I was far too headstrong to leave this alone without trying to face it.

I will admit that a part of me was curious about Alice’s vision, curious about a friend or even a partner in this life… But the thought of Edward as that partner made me recoil. He was too irritating –– not the ideal candidate to spend an eternity with.

He was smart, though. And kind too, I noted, thinking of the way he’d cheered up the girl in the hospital… But definitely irritating. I’d have endless time to decode what had made him so relentless and smart-mouthed, but once I’d made the discovery, what then?

I had spent hours turning the little brown journal in my hands over and over, studying the worn leather, the folds and creases, tempted to open it and uncover his secrets. During an hour where I’d been resolved to go forth with pretending he didn’t exist, I’d even considered sneaking back to his house and finding my way in to leave the journal by his side so that I wouldn’t have to give it back to him myself in person. But that –– and also privily reading it without his permission –– seemed indefensibly invasive.

I didn’t mind being a vampire if that’s what I was. But that didn’t mean I had any desire to fulfill some of the creepier of the tropes.

Once I reached the tree closest to the garage, I tightroped onto a thin branch. Then, cautious as to not break it, I gently pushed down and sprung off, diving like a swimmer seventy feet down, the journal clasped between my outstretched hands. The distance was very short, and I landed softly, focusing greatly on doing so in a cautiously tactile way that wouldn’t cannonball me through the building and barreling into the ground. I rolled like a bowling ball to a stop on the vegetative, vine-covered roof in a cluster of silky honeysuckle and tickling lavender wisteria.

Even now all these years later, I felt kind of giddy at the impossible physics of my body’s capability for control, so I couldn’t help but laugh a little. I even laughed a little more thinking again of how my family might see my behavior –– me laughing here in the flowers –– as lunacy in how drastically it differed from the darkness of the personal rain cloud I’d been carrying over me.

From the house, I heard a deep chuckle and the sound of a scoff, confirming that I did have an audience. It must be Emmett mocking the impressiveness of my nosedive. I smiled, feeling very much like myself again.

I hopped off the roof to the ground and entered the garage. Sure enough, Alice had laid out a small pile of clothes for me for the upcoming school day. I stripped, unceremoniously dropping the garments I was wearing into a pile on the floor and reached for the clothing. Then, I groaned.

“Alice!” I hissed her name like an expletive. I thought we’d moved past my sister’s insistence on using me as her personal doll, but it seemed this was her attempt for a revival. Maybe she was determined to punish me for the way I’d destroyed my shoes. Rather than a sensible sweater and jeans, Alice had taken advantage of my hurried need and elected to pick out a cropped turtleneck sweater and a mini skirt, both black. The sweater wasn’t awful in that the crop wouldn’t be exposing with the high waist of the skirt, but the bodycon fit of the skirt, the crocodile print of the polyurethane, and the ludicrous split up the side… Alice was deranged. This had to have come from her own closet.

She had the good sense to include sheer black tights to hide some of the disconcerting flawlessness and freaky whiteness of my skin –– not that that would matter much in how off-putting and contrasting I’d look in all black anyways –– but I’d have preferred converse over the matching black boots. At least the heel of the boot was more reasonable than I’d expect from her. Not more reasonable than converse, though.

I imagined showing up to Edward’s house. Hey, Edward! Here I am to drive you to school, pale and ridiculous. Also, I’m a vampire. Here’s your journal.

I considered the short run to my room in the house, but again, I was already running late…

I tugged the clothes on and hopped into the pearly white car, throwing the journal into the passenger seat. As I reversed out of the garage, I felt thankful for the engine upgrades Rosalie worked on that allowed for the instant rapidity of the acceleration.

I spun sharply, letting the car spin out with an obnoxiously loud screech until I was facing the long drive away from the house. In the rearview mirror, I watched as Rosalie entered the garage, her golden eyes shocked and her mouth open as I sped away.

My reckless driving only warranted a few irritated honks on my way to Edward’s house through the morning traffic –– one dark green Honda specifically gave me a long piece of their mind when I cut them off –– before I was whipping around the corner onto his street.

Just as I pulled in front of the lonely house, I watched as Edward casually jogged down the steps of his porch, his sleek backpack hanging carelessly off one shoulder and an apple in his hand.

His tangle of bronze hair was like a low burning flame against the muted monochromatism of the grey house and the grey sky and the grey pavement. Today, he wore a light tan turtleneck that clung tightly to his chest, slim beige trousers, and a long black coat that ended above the knees. His fancy belt, his long socks, and his suede boots were all black too. I didn’t particularly consider him to be someone who cared much about what others thought about him, but he seemed pretty meticulously dressed. I wondered if he dressed to impress others or dressed for himself. Neither decision particularly mattered, but it’d been so long since I thought about something so human –– the thought process of selecting what to wear and considering how you wanted to present yourself.

The clothes I wore ceased to matter long ago. I never particularly had an interest in fashion, so it was easy to allow Alice to select my wardrobe. And for the most part, she got it right. Only when I found her selections to be impractical, such as today, did I really care. But it was a rarity that she tried to push me too far out of my comfort zone anymore. She’d given up on me, or maybe she had just become more clever about finding the right opportunities to dress me in something absurd… I liked things that I could easily move around in.

Alice would approve of his outfit, I thought. Maybe if he liked fashion, they really would get along. But that didn’t matter because I had no intentions of involving Alice and her freaky little visions in my experiment.

Seeing me parked there, he froze for a moment, before his lips curved into a huge smile. Edward laughed, throwing his apple up in the air and catching it again. He half-jogged forward to meet me. I took a deep, clean breath full of the leather scents of the car’s interior and rolled down the window, leaning forward towards him.

Edward bent over so that his head could duck down to see my face through the window, and he shook his head again, chuckling.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Hello, Edward,” I smiled pleasantly, trying to play nice.

He eyed me suspiciously, but the glint in his pretty green eyes was teasing, the grin that lit them up never fading.

“I’ve come to bring you this, fresh from the scene of the crime––“ I grasped hold of the leather bound book in my hand, raising it up to wave it before setting it back down, “––and to offer you a ride to school. I’m sure it’d be a humbling experience for you to walk, but I felt bad about your pretty car being flattened like a pancake.”

“You’re not irritated with me?” Edward asked, slightly cocking his head to the side.

“Are you irritated with me?” I countered.

“Never,” he beamed.

“Well, then we can call a truce,” I half smiled. “You’re not curious as to why I’m forcing you to carpool, making your getting to school my business?”

“The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business. But of course, I am curious.”  

“As usual,” I mumbled under my breath. Hesitantly, I breathed in. It was like pulling the chord on a hot-air ballon with the way his scent ripped my throat into flames. I was grateful for the distraction of someone grumbling to themself as they turned onto the street, because instead of spiraling, I was able to instead laugh as I realized who I had cut off a few traffic lights ago. I looked in the rearview mirror and sure enough recognized Sara, the sandy blonde, driving the ugly green Honda.

“Hmm… Well, I wouldn’t want to upset your girlfriend––” I bit my lip momentarily to keep myself from laughing, “––so I wouldn’t be offended if you said no.”

“Who?” Edward asked, but his smile had faded as his eyes watched my lips intently.

He looked back into my eyes after a second, blinking as he realized I was staring at him staring at me, then up at the car awkwardly pulling in behind me.

“Oh,” he chuckled as he realized who I meant. “I’ll be just a moment.”

I watched in my side-view mirror as Edward approached Sara on the drivers’ side.

“Hey, Sara,” he said as she cranked her window down.

“Hey, Ed,” she grumbled, kind of irritated. I should have felt guilty for disrupting her plan, but her irritation with Edward instead provoked my nerves. Also, the fact that she called him Ed bothered me too. “I guess you made it out alive. I’d have been here sooner, but Cullen cut me off. I got suck at a red light.”

“Did she?” Edward laughed. “Well, I’m really sorry, Sara. This is so nice of you, but Bella offered to drive me to school today. I’d cancel now that you’re here, but after she saved my life, I’d feel terrible doing so. Is it alright if I see you at school?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” she snapped, trying to seem unbothered despite the tightness of her jaw and the edge in her voice.

“I’m sorry again, Sara. I really appreciate that you came here,” Edward smiled a dazzling smile.

“No big deal. I’ll see you at school,” she lifted the corners of her lips once before turning away, her mouth in a tight line.

He sighed watching as she drove past me and away before a crooked smile reappeared on his face as he walked back to my car. I didn’t have time to wonder if he would have preferred to ride with her. It didn’t seem likely.

“…Ed?” I asked as he crossed back to the passenger side.

“You heard that?” Edward chuckled. He slid his backpack off his back, opened the door, and dipped his tall frame into the car. He picked up the journal before settling into the passenger’s side, adjusting the seat to make room for his legs and backpack. “I’m not particularly fond of that nickname. Or any, for that matter. My mother called me Teddy sometimes. I prefer Edward.”

“I do too,” I agreed, breathing in the potency of his fragrance. I clutched the steering wheel tightly and swallowed dryly.

“So,” he began once he was comfortable. “Are you feeling more open today?”

“No,” I answered as I began to drive towards the school.

Edward sighed, but he shook his head, amused. Clearly, he’d decided to play nice too. “Do you ever get tired of ambiguity, Bella?”

Yes.

“No,” I teased, rolling my eyes. “I enjoy being mysterious far too much.”

“Mysterious enough to keep me up at night,” he egged on.

“I’m sure you slept just fine.”

“How’d you sleep?” Edward asked. I looked over at him, ignoring the tingling of my tongue in anticipation of the taste of his sweet blood. I should have thought of a response, but I was too busy fighting off my instincts to think of a lie. His pretty eyes narrowed in thought as he analyzed my face and the dark circles beneath my golden eyes.

Suddenly, I froze, my muscles locking down as he reached forward, his hand gently touching my hair. I didn’t dare breathe as the heat of his skin enveloped me in warmth. His hand lingered for a moment before it pulled back, holding up a broken piece of fern.

“You had a leaf in your hair. How’d that get there?” Edward almost whispered, his lips curved into a half-smile.

A strange electricity throbbed through my body, and the sensation was so odd. Like my heartbeat should be thrumming loudly in my ears. Deafening. But my heart was frozen and dead, so I only heard the beat of Edward’s. We sat in silence for a moment as my mind spun in the dizziness.

“Maybe I should have accepted Sara’s offer,” he joked after a moment, laughing, but I wondered what he made of the affliction I was trying to hide on my face. Around him, no matter my attempts at subterfuge, it felt as though my face was an open book in which he could read all my secrets. I refocused my eyes on the road, too distracted by the warmth of his pale face and the prettiness of his green eyes as the forest flew by in the window behind him.

“Maybe,” I agreed, smiling softly, smiling sadly. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe you should jump out of the car and run before I accidentally kill you.

“But,” he mused gently, trying to keep the mood light and playful. “She probably doesn’t have heated seats.”

His effort to comfort the conflict raging within me that he didn’t even understand worked. I snorted.

I continued driving, thinking of ways to bring up the journal.

“You look lovely today, by the way,” he smiled, appraising me. “Which is not to say that you don’t on any other day, but you do look very pretty.”

I felt oddly incomplete as I waited for reactions my body was no longer capable of. Reactions I’d forgotten. There was another strange sensation in my cheeks as if they should be very warm.

My head whipped towards him in surprise, my eyebrows pulling up.

“What?” He immediately asked in shock, his heart beat picking up. My reaction didn’t totally alarm him though, because his lips were still pulled up at the corners. Edward seemed to always be smiling. Or maybe smirking was the better word. “Do you not get compliments often? I find that rather hard to believe.”

“No, it’s not that,” I relaxed my face. “I was just caught off guard. Lovely…That wasn’t particularly something I’d expect a seventeen year old boy to say.”

“Oh,” he relaxed, easily grinning again.

“Are you even seventeen?” I found myself smiling in return.

“Are you?” He countered.

My mood darkened as my lips dropped immediately, but I fixed the smile back onto my face so he couldn’t see how exposed I felt.

“You know, my mom used to say that I was born thirty five years old, and that I get more middle-aged every year.”

“Hmm…” Edward nodded, his eyes narrowed again as he scrutinized me. I wondered if this clarified some assumption he’d made about me.

I turned into the school parking lot. I saw the gleaming cherry redness of Rosalie’s ostentatious car and desperately hoped she was already inside one of the brick buildings.

“So,” he prompted, his tone mysteriously patronizing. “Did you read this?”

I glanced over to see the accusation in his eyes as he held up the journal, but he didn’t seem angry whatsoever. They were still light. Still playful.

“What? No, of course not,” I defended myself. But my voice was unpersuasive, the pitch coming out a little too high to give my words any credibility.

I parked beside Rosalie. The car was luckily empty, so I relaxed my grip on the steering wheel. Ha! As if my sister would have confronted me here, and I’d have driven away, effectively kidnapping Edward… I scoffed at myself. I clenched the hand Edward couldn’t see into a tight fist, concentrating all of my strength in my fight against temptation into the way my fingers dug into my palm.

I turned my face to look at Edward, whose face was condescending, his thick eyebrows pulled up in disbelief.

“I’m serious! Maybe I look guilty because I considered it, but I didn’t actually follow through.”

His face relaxed into a crooked smile. “Okay, I believe you. I’d have forgiven you anyways.”

“Does that mean if I ask you about the contents, you’ll share?” I asked eagerly. I’d read so many books in my life that this new mystery novel easily became just like another book I was dying to read.

“Absolutely not,” he shook his head, chuckling. Edward reached for his bag, winking at me, and opened his door, ducking his head to get out. I swiftly undid my seatbelt and was out beside him probably much too fast, my backpack slung onto my shoulder. For a moment, I wondered if my siblings needed their useless backpacks too since we typically drove this car to school, but I figured Alice must have rescued them from the trunk after seeing my plans for this morning.

He blinked, looking down at where I suddenly appeared.

“Why?” I inhaled through my mouth, grateful for the influx of fresh rainwater and firs that helped dilute Edward’s scent.

His heart thrummed in his chest, and being so close to him, the sound was like thunder surrounding me as I listened, becoming attuned to it. The splash of puddles as tires hightailed through the parking lot, the slam of locker doors as students got their books, and the chatter of kids as they entered the school all seemed like irrelevant ambiance now.

“Because,” Edward breathed. His breath was shaky, but his face remained cool. The sweetness of the smell washed over my face, and I clenched my fist again. “That wouldn’t be fair whatsoever.”

“And why not?” I demanded.

“You expect me to entrust you with all of my secrets when you won’t trust me with just one of yours?”

He wasn’t wrong. But I couldn’t exactly divulge anything about the accident. I was already breaking too many rules. My own rules. My own promises I’d made to my family.

“How about…” I considered, though my thoughts were headed in a dangerous direction. “If you happen to have any theories, you can share one, and I’ll either confirm or deny it.”

“Just one?”

“Yes.”

“How is that worth the very much intimate documentation of my entire mind, Bella? That’s hardly sufficient.”

“Fine, I don’t care about your stinking journal,” I snapped, stubbornly poking my chin in the air a fraction.

He surprised me by actually throwing his head back to laugh.

“Are you done?” I asked.

“You’ve got a bit of a temper, don’t you?” he considered this for a moment, beaming. “Okay, I’ll accept these conditions. But later.”

“Later?” I demanded, feeling a sense of injustice as I froze in place. He continued forward and took a bite of his apple. The juice spilled out sweetly into the air, but the fragrance was unappetizing and certainly not as sweet as Edward’s blood.

“Thank you for the ride, Bella. I’ll see you in biology.” Again, he winked, walking backwards. He saluted me, waving once with the journal in his other hand and then turned around, clearly enjoying having the upper hand as he and temptation disappeared into the crowd of students.

I stood there, my mouth propped open. The sensation of being watched started to creep up on me and sure enough, I turned to find Rosalie ten yards away outside of the building to her first period. Her eyes were dark, cold, and fierce with betrayal. Guiltily, I looked away and headed off towards my first class.

Throughout my morning classes, I tried not to think about my family’s –– or rather, Rosalie’s –– opinions on my decision this morning. At this, I failed miserably. As I imagined explaining how really if I didn’t stay away from the boy, it would prove that I actually could leave him alone and exercise control against Alice’s visions, I started to find my logic extremely flawed and unbelievable. Maybe I was making a mistake. Maybe I was just too pigheaded. I tried not to think about this too.

Instead, I thought again about the secrets of his journal. Wasn’t this essentially the symbol of everything I’d been obsessing over? All of my wonderings and curiosities as for why he was so annoying and his eyes so perceptive could all be unraveled in that little book. I wondered if I’d be disappointed once the mystery was unveiled. Maybe the journal –– and by extension, Edward himself –– was not as interesting as I thought. I may have just been fixating on this because it was something different. But I told myself it’d be better for me to be disappointed. The sooner I could move on with my life.

Throughout the day, a couple of the braver students asked for details about the accident but became disappointed when I didn’t offer up the dramatics they were hoping for. I felt too shameful to discredit Edward’s accounts, so I irresponsibly dismissed the opportunities to ensure the accident yesterday hadn’t exposed anything unusual about me or my family. Eventually, as my monotonous account of the events spread through the tiny school, kids stopped asking.

I was impatient to get to biology, but before then, I’d have to face my siblings at lunch. When the bell rang after fifth period, I walked much too quickly to the cafeteria, dreading arriving but very much eager to get it over with. As I weaseled my way through the hallway –– which wasn’t difficult because even in the familiarity of the school, we were typically provided a wide berth –– I overheard the conversation of two other juniors. I froze in place as my plans shifted for the day. They discussed the difficulty of today’s biology pop exam, and I realized I wouldn’t have the hour of the day the school allotted to speak with Edward, the excuse I could provide my family in my defense. A freshman nearly rammed into me from behind, not expecting my sudden stop. Whoever it was recoiled immediately. 

Well, I wasn’t going to miss out on whatever explanation he planned to provide because of some trivial pop exam. I rearranged my lunch plans, appreciating the excuse to postpone another family confrontation. We could battle it out at the long oval table later if necessary.

I entered the cafeteria and was second in the lunch line, only selecting a glass lemonade bottle so that the emptiness in front of me wouldn’t be unnerving for Edward. I figured it’d be more disconcerting to leave a tray of food in front of me untouched. I headed to a round table in the corner that was typically empty. This wouldn’t surprise my family when they entered. Alice would warn them.

I sat waiting as students filed in, either joining the growing line or meeting at their usual tables with their friends. I avoided Rosalie’s eyes when she entered the room, but I could still feel the iciness of her stare. I listened for Edward’s deep and soft voice to indicate his arrival, then when I couldn’t find it, instead listened for Sara’s to see if she may be with him. Sara was a loud, babbling talker, so it was easy to find her voice in the crowd of the hallway. She seemed to have gotten over her irritation from this morning as she animatedly spoke about some research she’d done the night prior into some potential colleges she might apply to.

I found that although I may feel some irrational resentment of her ability to be so close to Edward, I liked Sara. Maybe we would have even been friends if I was a human. And if her proximity to him didn’t bother me. She was prattling on about her dream of becoming a veterinarian, and her goals seemed so sincere that I almost felt guilty finding any enjoyment in having stolen Edward from her this morning.

But that didn’t mean I didn’t have intentions to do so again.

As I suspected, when Sara walked through the double doors, Edward was by her side. He was actively listening to her words –– always so polite to anyone who wasn’t me –– but once inside the lunch room, his eyes immediately flashed to the table in which my siblings were settling into. His thick eyebrows pulled together in confusion –– and maybe even disappointment? –– at the realization he didn’t find me there.

I was impatient as he purchased his lunch. Once he’d left the line, he still hadn’t noticed me sitting here. Maybe he was less perceptive than I gave him credit for. I felt a moment of awkwardness as I thought about having to get up, walk across the cafeteria, and ask him to join me in front of my family. I would still have done so, but I was immensely relieved when Sara noticed me.

“Are you eating lunch with Bella too?” The sandy blonde asked, her tone suddenly indignant. This time, I felt no pleasure in my thievery. Sara was right to want to reserve Edward to her human world, but I was too entranced with the mystery of his journal and the mystery of his mind to care.

Edward looked up, searching. His sage eyes were bright and animated once he found me here at the table. He held his tray in one large hand while combing the other through his untidy bronze hair. The arrogant confidence in his face made me smirk, and I rolled my eyes, lifting my hand to beckon him forward twice with my finger as if I was reluctantly pacifying a child.

“I guess so,” he laughed a little as he sauntered forward towards the table, leaving Sara behind gawking. I braced myself for the onslaught, inhaling one last fresh breath of air. How habitual this was becoming.

“I’m being gifted your presence outside of our biology class twice in one day? What did I do to deserve this?” He teased once he’d arrived, standing behind the seat across from me.

“Nearly die. I guess that’s a fair enough price to pay for my company,” I played along. If only he knew how true that still was. He grinned, his perfect teeth white and shiny. “Oh, don’t look so smug. I’m only here to uncover a mystery.”

“As am I,” he reminded me. I winced.

“Are you going to sit down?” I asked. He still stood behind the seat, tall and lean, a giant like my brothers. Not quite as towering and much slimmer, but still, I felt small in my seat looking up at him.

Edward leaned down to carefully place his tray on the laminate before comfortably settling into his seat as if we’d done this before. I glanced at his tray, curious as to his selection. A bottle of water, a grilled chicken salad, and a bag of dried fruit. I stared at the food for a moment as if this would provide me any clues about his mind.

“So,” he began. I looked up to meet his eyes and though I knew he’d be looking at me, I felt a jolt pulse through me. He caught something about my reaction, and a crooked smile appeared on his face.

“So,” I continued. “You were going to tell me about your journal.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “But I believe we agreed on a condition, did we not?”

“We did,” I admitted. “Go ahead.”

“Hmm… I’m not sure I’m actually ready to, Bella,” he pondered, and I felt odd again hearing him say my name.

“Why not?” I demanded, restless. Of course I was interested in the book, but I was also definitely interested in his theories. I couldn’t believe it had only been yesterday that the accident occurred. It felt like a lifetime ago. The same way that first day in biology did.

“I’ve only been given about twenty four hours to come up with any explanations.”

“And have you?”

“Maybe, but I have a feeling you’ll be very firm on only allowing one theory, so I want to hold out for the theory I’m most confident on.”

I frowned, and Edward laughed.

“Don’t worry though. I’ll tell you about my journal anyways. As long as you promise–– no, that’d be letting you off too easily. As long as you swear to me that you won’t forget your end of the deal.”

“I swear,” I promised, smiling at the silliness of his command. I took this moment to breath in his powerful scent, to wrestle with my desire.

“Hmm… I wonder if it’ll upset you,” his forehead crumped in thought. My patience was wearing so thin that the inexorable cloud of lust for his blood had little impact in comparison to the sudden aggravation at his procrastination.

“Oh, Edward!” I groaned, exasperated. “Would you just tell me? What could possibly upset me?”

For whatever reason, Edward burst into laughter at my outburst and couldn’t seem to stop.

I glared at him, and he tried to choke back his humor unsuccessfully. The irritation in my eyes didn’t deter him or instill any sense of fear in him. Briefly, I wondered if he was mentally sound.

“Okay, well, you can just go eat lunch with your little friends, and I’ll stay here and talk to myself.”

“Don’t be mad,” he pleaded as another laugh escaped. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself. You’re just so impatient. And for what? My uninteresting little journal?”

“You’re annoying, did you know that?”

“Maybe, but you’ve chosen to sit here with me, so you must like me for some reason,” he pointed out. For some reason indeed. Once again, he was right on target. My mouth gaped open.

“Okay, I’m getting up––”

“No, please, Bella. I’ll behave myself now. I’ll tell you about my journal. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” His smile was dazzling, and his eyes were fierce, sweet, and sincere. I was mesmerized, stuck in the seat across from him.

“Okay,” I said stupidly.

“My journal,” he began seriously, “is sort of a Bible.”

I waited for him to laugh again.

“No, really,” Edward did laugh but not as though he’d told a joke. “I know that’s kind of strange.”

Religion had never been a major facet of my life. A dozen memories flickered through my mind of the times as a human where my mother Renée had gone through impassioned phases where she attended church, trying on multiple denominations and religions for size. But just like the rest of her sudden and fleeting interests, her spiritual high wore off, and we never spoke about God or church again. Only when I became immortal did religion take a more permanent place in my thoughts. But it was only the proximity to Carlisle that made me consider spiritual beliefs, and even then, it was simply another topic to devote thought to in all the endless space in my head and all the endless time in which to fill it.

I didn’t know particularly what I believed nor if I cared much, but I did know that if Edward was religious enough to tote around a bible at school, he’d definitely not be pleased to know he sat across from an actual vampire.

“You carry around a bible?”

“Well, don’t make any judgments yet, alright? It’s not exactly a bible. It’s kind of difficult to explain.”

“I think I can keep up,” I said simply, feeling slightly awkward but still curious. I glanced down at his untouched food. “But you should probably eat.”

“And what about you?” He asked, eyeing my full lemonade bottle.

I unscrewed the tin cap for his benefit. Following my lead, he opened the plastic container of his salad. I waited impatiently as he slowly ate his food.

I watched him as he ate, but when his eyes flickered curiously up to me, I fixated my attention on the lemonade bottle, tracing the mouth of it with my pinky finger.

After a few moments, Edward spoke up. “What are you thinking?”

I looked up to meet his light green gaze and felt stuck there again, compelled to reveal everything.

“I’m trying to figure out what you think I am,” I admitted only one of my concerns, though even this was much too honest. I thought of the inspiration he could draw from his religious text. The second beast. The Nephilim. Cherubim. Demons. Even though I didn’t have a true understanding of the contents of the book, some of Carlisle’s paintings had provided me with enough of an idea.

“I’m not having much luck with that yet,” he answered.

I laughed, relieved. “Well, you have only been given twenty four hours.”

“What else are you thinking?” he asked again, sensing there was more.

I sighed, feeling uncomfortable under his analyzation. The weight of his watchful eyes was too penetrative.

“That a boy who carries around a bible probably wouldn’t like me very much.”

“Why? Are you a sinner?” He smiled teasingly, but his eyes were soft as he tried to pull me again from the gloominess that seemed to steal me away.

“Something like that.”

“Well, aren’t we all?”

“Not all dogs go to heaven,” I answered. He chuckled at how I butchered the expression.

“Hmm… I’m not sure if I absolutely believe in a heaven, but if I do, I think the prerequisites to make it in are much broader than the Christian faith teaches.”

“You carry around a bible but don’t believe in heaven?”

“I said I’m unsure. And I said it was difficult to explain, didn’t I?”

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I hardly understand what you mean the majority of the time either.”

We both laughed, and the synchronicity of the moment made me forget my intentions with bothering him in the first place. It made me realize that in a way, I actually did feel fondly of Edward.

“Here, I’ll explain. I’m done eating anyways.” He used a napkin to dab at the corners of his mouth, then pushed it away on top of his lunch tray.

“My mother was very religious,” Edward began. “She wasn’t pious or bigoted or forceful about her beliefs. She was kind… devout. She believed in goodness. Her entire life had been dedicated to caring for other people. She wasn’t someone whose true intentions were to condemn others with the hope to save them from hell. Rather, she seemed more focused on saving someone from unhappiness. A lot of other believers have been known to connect with someone only for the end goal of forcing them to change the way they live for the sake of feeling as though they saved them. She had always been offended by this insistence to control another’s lifestyle, believing that any Child of God should truly only be concerned with loving others.

“I have pages of verses ripped out from her bible stuck throughout my journal. It may seem sacrilegious to destroy a bible in that way, but she’d read through it so many times that it had completely fallen apart. I tried to save it when she died, but there was no hope to. It was too dilapidated and tattered. So in my own journal, I have all these notes I’ve written on the notes she wrote in her bible. All these confusing erratic writings, these scribbles, I’ve been trying to sort out, just trying to figure out how to be a good person.”

At the end of his speech, my mouth dropped open. Quickly, I closed it again.

“So, do you believe in a god?” I asked after a few moments of silence.

“I’m not sure what I believe. If you don’t believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, then a god seems to be just as reasonable an answer as anything else. But I do believe in science as well. And once again, I don’t believe that any higher being who created the entire universe would be so particular and unyielding on such frivolous, harmless human matters as to what you do…or who you love… I’m hesitant to speak about god publicly, not because I fear any kind of persecution for my complicated beliefs, but because I know that the church has caused a lot of damage to a lot of people. And I don’t want anyone to think I support any of that harm. But for innocent believers, I see nothing wrong with wanting a reason to hold onto hope if that’s what religion is for them.”

“Neither do I,” I agreed, thinking of Carlisle.

“I think at the core of any religion –– and I definitely am interested in studying other religions as well –– is the same message. To do good by others and yourself. Of course, historically, religion has been weaponized as a means to take control over innocent people, but in considering people like my mother… I sincerely hope that there is a god. For her sake.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Don’t worry.” Edward smiled his crooked smile. “I’m not about to try and sell you some religious propaganda. At no point will I sit you down and ask, ‘do you mind if I take a moment to speak about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?’ That’s never been my mission. I’m not entirely certain whether or not I even consider myself religious.”

“So what is your mission then with the journal?”

“Perhaps this will sound a little pretentious, but it’s not so much that I’m curious about the chicken or the egg scenario… Evolution versus creation… I don’t care very much as to how we got here. I guess because my mother believed so profusely, and I consider her to be such a great person, I’m curious as to whether our morality is innate as people, or if all goodness is because we have some kind of spirit within us leading us to want to do right by other people. I think overall, it is innate. An atheistic individual can do wonderful things for the world just as someone who claims to love Jesus can do terrible things. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t believe chooses to do good for God, but I wonder if that innate sense of morality, sense of compassion is ingrained into us because of the fact we do have souls. So the question I’ve been trying to answer all these years is… do we? Does my mother die, fade to nothing, with her body? Or did she live on because she had a soul?”

“Those are big questions for a seventeen year old.”

“Those are big questions for anybody, no matter their age. And questions humankind has been trying to answer for thousands of years,” Edward chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t expect to be the one to stumble upon the answers. More so, I’m really trying to find some purpose in my mother’s life. I do want to honor her, and maybe if I can understand all the things she wrote about people and about God, then I can.”

“So what do you write?”

“I write my thoughts on what she journaled about. And I write about all the good things I see someone do. About the reasons why I think they did them… I study people a lot.”

“Do you ever feel creepy?” I asked.

“Sometimes,” he laughed. “I mean, it’s not that I’d be the type to watch someone while they sleep. But if someone comforts a friend, picks up a stray piece of trash off the ground, smiles at a stranger… I try to take notice. I want to notice people.”

Edward sighed. “I know this must sound arrogant, but I really do believe I’m very sensitive to the thoughts of other people. At least, I try to be. For example, I know Sara must not be very happy that I chose to ride with you this morning, or that I am sitting with you now. I’m not oblivious to her feelings for me. But it’d be very ungentlemanly of me to accuse her of those feelings if she prefers to keep them secretive, so I’ll define a boundary if needed to protect her feelings whenever she chooses to come forth about them. I’d like to retain our friendship, but I still make my own choices.”

“So…” I began, ignoring his point about Sara. “Let’s say we all did have souls. Could someone lose that soul by any chance?”

“Hmm…” he thought, his eyes intent, piercing into mine as though he were trying to read my mind. “Now, that’s a big question for a seventeen year old.”

I laughed along with him.

“Well, I’m not sure whether or not you can lose your soul –– if we have them, of course. Perhaps you could damage the integrity of it or compromise it somehow. Could it be lost in death? If there is something of a heaven, does that automatically imply the existence of a hell? What purpose does hell serve in torturing one’s soul for eternity? Justice? Do some people perhaps deserve that fate? I want to say no, but then you think of awful, malicious people who have done awful, malicious things. Murder. Genocide. Rape. Isn’t the losing of your soul in death, fading into nonexistence too easy of a punishment? Do those people warrant a judge, jury, and executioner? I would hope that there are consequences to evil actions, but I don’t understand the idea that if such a place exists for the most vile of humanity, nonbelievers and sinners would go to the same place as well according to the Christian faith. I would say on that front, the Bible must be profoundly off. That aspect has to be invented by man for a means of control. What creator would wish such a fate on someone so innocent as to simply be uncertain about a god? So does a nonbeliever or sinner simply cease to exist, therefore losing their soul? Or is there some kind of alternative? Like a purgatory in the Catholic faith. That too seems a cruel fate from what should be a loving God.”

I felt slightly uneasy, wondering what he would think of my non-life, if he would consider this to be the alternative for innocent sinners. I wondered if he would believe I had a soul.

Edward softened his expression at my discomfort. His eyes were gentle and kind.

“But I don’t think I believe that. Like I said, I think the division between good and bad, right and wrong, is less black and white than most religious people believe. I think it’s gray, and I think any higher power would realize that too. So if you’re making that face because you’ve sinned a little here and there or murdered somebody, maybe you can make a comeback.”

Edward winked, and I forced myself to laugh. 

“So would yesterday earn me some points?”

“Oh, definitely. You’ve practically merited an angel status.”

This time I did genuinely laugh at the thought of me as an angel.

“But again, as for what’s considered sin… I don’t subscribe to the majority of what’s considered biblical canon.”

“You don’t have to continue with the disclaimers. I believe that you’re not judging my sinful ways.”

“Correction, I don’t believe that God themself is judging you for your sinful ways. I never said anything about my judgment of you.”

I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling at the smirk on his face. “I’m not at all surprised that you have a god complex. That seems about right –– you do come off like the type to be very judgmental.”

“I’m notoriously difficult to impress,” Edward half-smiled. “Are we continuing this conversation in Biology, or are you growing tired of the dark and the heavy?”

“Not yet,” I answered. “But I overheard that we have a pop quiz, so you’ll have to save your pretty boy disciple thoughts for later.”

He chuckled as I stood up from the table, reaching to grab my untouched lemonade bottle and cap to throw away, then stopped me.

“I’ve got it,” Edward placed the bottle on his tray to dump into the garbage. I watched curiously as he pocketed the bottle cap.

“I’d say thank you, but I know you’re only trying to win points in the eyes of God.”

“Anything to get into heaven,” he laughed.

* * *

y’all know i had to make edward a lil christian boy. u know edward is the i wanna church girl who go to church… and reaaaad her biiiible vine. i do want to clarify again… unlike stephenie mormon, i have no agenda in speaking about religion in this fanfic. i’m not particularly fond of labels, but i am more agnostic than anything so… i’m not tryna convert anybody to anything. it just seemed very “classically edward” as rosalie would say.

i hope u enjoyed! i also wanted to say i really, really appreciate the comments! i haven't replied bc... i'm shy but i read them & truly feel very flattered. ♡

[nemorialex]

RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: Shan OOC Contact: Tumblr IMs, Discord

Who the heck is my muse anyway:

Alex Miller, 20 (as of 2019), Explorer/Adventurer who spends their time studying the supernatural and magical elements of the forest.

Due to (semi)recent events, they are a reluctant god of space/creation and live on a new planet populated by at least 3 other sentient species, aside from humans.

Points of interest:

Maroon-red hair with a poofy curl of bangs, incredibly pale, floor length black trench coat, jeans and boots: This is what they look like 99% of the time.

A thick journal, an array of knives, and a few useful magic charms: this is what is in their coat pockets 99% of the time.

They are studious, attentive, and a little people/socially awkward. And near always willing and excited to help where and when it’s needed.

Alex has a dreamcatcher necklace charm that they made themself. When flipped like a coin, it opens a portal of bright light, color, and lightening which can transport the user to “anyplace of their dreams” AKA, think of a place and you’ll be there when you step through. It is their main source of long-distance travel. 

What they’ve been up to recently:

Taking care of their pets (3 dragons, 1 giant chicken, 1 cat, 1 dog)

Studying their new home, either by hands-on hiking through the woods or by checking out several books at a time on the history, myths, and trivia of the planet.

Traveling to/waiting inside the ruins of a temple where their boyfriend is currently asleep until an undetermined point in time. 

(This is an IC secret but) Alex just finished the main construction of a seaside house on a cliff for said sleeping boyfriend.

Studying a handful of magic related books to come up with new potions and/or charms from the existing spells.

Practicing their given god abilities (with mixed/little success, due to personal doubts)

Making a list and retrieving or crafting gift items for the upcoming holidays.

Where to find them:

In the woods on a hike, probably mapping out a trail or sitting and watching wildlife (specifically dragons)

In the City, either getting supplies (for magic or building,) food, or books (as stated above)

At the cabin, keeping busy with smaller tasks

At the apartment of Zack (brother), Frenchie (Moirail/best friend), and Toby (their son) usually for a family related activity like babysitting or dinner

At the ruins of the temple for the Page of Mind (as mentioned above)

A classified location (seaside cliff) for a classified reason (building a house)

Sometimes within the temple for the Prince of Breath (Ghostie’s place)

Current plan:

Mostly their “plans” consist of just... Doing what they’re doing now. Finishing projects, studying facts, playing with magic. Biding their time.

The idea of a proposal has been tossed back and forth.

Later, when they feel more “settled” (aka, everyone is awake, safe, and counted for) they will go off to more extreme adventures, or at least those that are farther from home/take a lot longer to complete.

There’s a very vague plot in the rough draft phase right now, but it’s more targeted to another pair of OCs... :3c

Desired interactions:

New people to meet! And not just a casual “hello” over the internet, but genuinely new friends that they can interact with. 

An exchange of information! Even if it’s just you talking endlessly about something you think is common in your life, if Alex hasn’t heard of it they will drink in every word.

A new exploration! Pretty much the same as above, but with locations rather than just information.

(they have a very, very small curiosity about pitch dating)

Offered interactions:

UNfortunately, Alex is a bit shy, so they won’t directly reply to stuff. FORTUNATELY, that means you can purposefully misunderstand what their “dash watching” post is about and strike up a conversation or press for answers.

As one might expect, Alex will ramble for days on end about both first hand knowledge as well as personal theories they might have on a supernatural subject, like the difference between dragon varieties or species developments or why a full moon and a new moon have magical properties.

Not that they’d ever ask, but test subjects for magic are welcome. Or better yet, throw an idea at them and they’ll accept the challenge.

In person interactions are absolutely a thing, especially because of their portal and their willingness to toss themself into spontaneous adventures of bored enough. 

Current open post/s:

Basically any IC post is free for interaction, plus the inbox is always open and stuff. 

Anything else?:

UH, idk what else to add, honestly? My mobile links should be working and the pages are (FOR THE MOST PART) up to date if you want more detailed info. 

I have 3 other muses that are related to Alex.  - affluentialspikes Zack (Brother through adoption) These two are in an AU of sorts? It’s tricky to explain, but they know different versions of the Millers - heartsandkrafts Shar (Niece of Aunt Alex) - astutescientist Gwen (Student/apprentice of Uncle Zack AKA Mr. Miller)

Tagging: Yours, ripe for the taking!

[rem289]

Response to (idiotic) accusations made by some people against me and especially Aoimotion

(which is why I have to waste time writing this stuff)

Hi guys,

Here I am again, with a "small" update of the journal published a few days ago here on my blog  in response to an offensive, derogatory and defamatory post that unfortunately has been circulating for a month without the direct interested, I and above Aoimotion , being aware about it, as we weren’t intentionally mentioned, so we were denied the right to reply.

Of course I took care to reply immediately after discovering it, telling our version of the facts. But the post was soon removed, so all I could read were four short comments left by the owner of the blog on which the announcement was written, @spanish-vega

Needless to say, the cancellation didn’t bring benefits to its victims, since eliminating a post to the source on Tumblr has only the (partial) effect of hiding the identity of its author. Therefore, if you are interested in knowing what I am talking about, a copy of the accusations I’m going to reply to can still be found here.

This only shows how its content was a distorted interpretation of real facts that, once brought to light, irreparably refuted the veracity of the post in question, forcing the author, or more likely: the authors, to eliminate it before taking their own responsibility and have a real confrontation with me. Unfortunately, this action was too serious for me to ignore it. In this regard, I will now proceed to respond to the feedback I received from Miss Vega. There really would not be much to say, given that the comments (written, among other things, under HER OWN post), can hardly be considered an answer, so I will take this opportunity to focus on many issues that are close to my heart.

I want to warn you that in the following part the subjects will change often, sometimes I will refer to those directly involved or only one of them, sometimes to a wider audience, so sorry for this confusion, unfortunately the topics to be addressed are many.

Dear Vega, here we are again. I don’t know whether to feel more sad or worried by the fact that after all the time that has passed and even now that I have placed you before the fact, you say you have not regretted having  basically tried to ruin a person's reputation. In part I envy you, I would also like to face certain things with such coldness. On my way I have met many boring and dishonest people, yet I have never dreamed of defaming them publicly, notwithstanding all the evil they had done and the reason I could have. Same for Aoi, of course, who between the two was the most oppressed in recent years. But in your case perhaps, this is the only way to really solve the matter, since the private ways don’t work, or rather, only serve to make fun of me, taking advantage of my honesty and fairness. It’s too convenient to pillory someone publicly and then demand to settle things in private; you all have always speculated on the fact that both Aoi and I are much more mature and discrete than you, so we would never have put ourselves at your own level (or your own pettiness, depending on your point of view). In fact, it was supposed to be like this, but unfortunately my tolerance has reached the limit, you managed to make me infuriate as few have succeeded in my life, so now I will repay you with your own medicine, the only one you know and that maybe have some effect on you.

You affirm that your wish was to make the truth known to the Spaniards, but I think it was more correct to say: "the Spaniards had to know my version of the facts", given that this was the case. Because the intention of the post you wrote wasn’t to inform people, but simply to seek consensus and compassion from them. If you had even had the slightest respect for those who would have read, you should have also involved the parts you accused so that the readers were provided with more complete information and not just your distorted and incomplete version. But I can imagine that, from the perspective of a liar, the idea of acting in conditions of complete incontestability is very appetizing, so I cannot say I'm surprised. Embittered, but not surprised.

You also continue to reiterate: "you know what Aoi did to @landsec (sorry, the tag doesn’t work because this person has blocked me, I will return to this point later)". Obviously I know, as a huge amount of people know, thanks to the political propaganda that your friend has not failed to do. Aoimotion had a heated discussion with him, as a result of which she apologized in spite of, let me to reiterate it once again, the first to be wrong was Landsec, for the reasons I explained in the previous post and that you will surely remember (assuming that you have read them). Too bad that, in addition to this episode of which Aoi has largely repented, for her part there has been no other action directed against Landsec.  An intervention, perhaps more "important", happened later on my part. On this intervention, many words were spent in private, with the usual sharing of screenshots, but none in public. Perhaps, if the real problem were the things I myself told Landsec, it would have been more correct to address ME directly to make his grievances, rather than going through a person whose role in this feud is mostly incidental, and certainly not because Aoi or I asked for it. Anyway, some time later the famous translation policy post appeared on our channels. And here Aoi actually made a mistake, the only mistake that could be attributed to her: on DA, she signed the post with her name. She did it out of habit, because it was a few months since the account had passed from being “RemArt” to be “AoiRemArt”, so she tried to point out that it was now managed by two people, not just one. In addition, I let her write the posts because unfortunately it’s known that English isn’t my strong suit, so I agree it’s easy to associate her writing with her name. But it takes a lot of imagination to imagine that such a crucial and important post was written only by one of the two, from a common account, as if I had been watching while she was preparing the crime or, even worse, she had bound me and gagged me to deprive me of any freedom of speech, so she could freely do what she wanted. A fantasy that I prefer to call "convenience". The concepts of the post and the way in which they are exposed have been agreed both by Aoi and by me, as it has always been and as it still is, therefore, whatever offense you may have received in your opinion, be aware that it came fully in the name of both. The only thing I'm so sorry about is that I didn’t stop her right away when I saw that she had signed only on her behalf, because I gave people I thought smarter another opportunity to pour their hatred and frustration on her.

Anyway, I'm sorry to disappoint you, dear Vega, and all the rest of the people who share your thoughts, but even then you totally misrepresented what we were saying. We can only validate the Italian and English versions because they are the only ones edited by the original author of the texts: Aoimotion, who writes them personally and has full control. Since we don’t know other languages outside of these two, we have no tools or knowledge to verify the content of the text with confidence and to consider it 100% faithful to the original, correct or reliable. It’s pure and simple logic, concepts that should also be within your reach.

I’m sorry that my authorization has implied the opposite and has made you consider these texts as official, perhaps better than the original ones. It's probably another thing that I should have explained from the beginning. We don’t want to diminish the work behind it, but yours is still a fan-translation, certainly not considered as an official language released by us. If we did it we would take responsibility for making official a thing we don’t know, it would not be serious on our part.

About this, I take this opportunity to apologize to the translators for not having explained well right away that the first translations were authorized only by me and only by inexperience, due to the fact that I myself felt like I was using borrowed characters and I sincerely regret that all this happened, because if I had been more careful and far-sighted from the beginning, now there would be no translation in the first place and now we would have no problem.

Secondly, after all the conflicts that have existed, and still exist between us, not only I consider your vain attempts to flatter me ("incredible artist", "fantastic person" and so on) extremely hypocritical, but the thing that makes me laugh is how in public you proudly declare that you have no problem with me (feelings that, even if they were true, would not be returned from me anyway), when in private things go in a very different way.

I'm really sorry, Vega, that you spent your time writing a post in defense of Landsec, that you, blinded probably by some feeling that I don’t feel entitled to determine, called "one of the kindest members of this fandom". The same kind member who didn’t stop you when he had to and could do it, but made you cancel the post only when I intervened, exactly after a month. The same kind member who has denied any involvement in your actions, either in public or in private with me (I will spare you the agony of reading his own words because, unlike Landsec and probably many of his friends, we don’t have the same habit of divulging private conversations, even when we could take advantage from them, as in this case), running for cover,  reblogging my post as if he wants to declare himself on my side, pleading - we don’t know who - to leave him alone, and discharging all responsibility on you and yours impulsivity, and then, on top of the cake, canceling his reblog just five minutes after doing it. The same kind member that blocked me just two days after the answer to my post in which he recited: "I don’t have any problems with Rem" and "We. Are. Cool. ". I suppose he must have been very afraid of being ignored for the first time by me, after I’ve always endeavored to behave with maturity towards him in an attempt to smooth out the shameful situations created by himself. In light of the fact that I find myself writing this unhappy communication, when I could use my time in more pleasant and productive ways, I gather that I was the only one of us who ever intended to definitively close this story.

Fortunately, before Landsec took his "precautionary measures", I had time to realize that the post in which he announced his retirement (the real one, not the defamatory garbage written a month ago) had been promptly canceled by his main channels. Evidently, when a better scapegoat was presented to him, which would have made his gesture a heroic martyr, he thought well to change the version of events. I could make a lot of comments about it, but I think that's already self-commenting. In any case, a "proof" that this post existed can be found at this link  dating back to May 9th, in which it's clearly mentioned the retreat, already happened, of our kind member. 

Now you will ask, why insist on this point? In reality it's very simple: the author of the defamatory post, quoted and linked at the top, has accused us, -no, maybe it's better to be precise: only Aoimotion- of Landsec's withdrawal, inserting this accusation even as subtitle of her the post ("Motivo del retiro de Landsec") . But if this post that I found refers to the Landsec's withdrawal on the 9th of May, I can assume that his abandonment was announced at least a few days before the 9th of May. And if the very first private discussion between Landsec and us took place about fifteen days later (in May 23-24th); And if the post about translation policy we made that, according to the opinion of the author of the post, would have completely destroyed the good intentions to continue in the translations of her friend, was published on June 25th, I wonder: it’s possible that these people have the gift of clairvoyance? Or can I just assume that unfounded and ridiculous accusations have been made with the intention of demonizing a person and, at the same time, gathering support and compassion?

Returning to us, always wanting to quote his "hit and run" reblog, in fact it was the same Landsec who writes: "So if you have any involvement with it [your post, Vega], solve it yourself and LEAVE ME ALONE ". So, from woman to woman, I hope that you, Vega, have long thought and drawn your conclusions after this shabby show. After all, he practically left you alone in my clutches, after you had exposed yourself so much to defend him. He didn't even try a second to protect you like you did with him. A kind person like him, does he really deserve your loyalty?

The connections between people are simple as long as they are coalescing in the face of the possibility of slandering, mortifying and tarnishing someone. In that case, people are ready to swear loyalty, support and mutual affection from here until the end of time. As soon as the nuance of reason and congruence is destroyed by the reality of facts, this is how these bonds crumble and change into the vile, filthy and disgusting vault I have ever seen.

That would be great, since everyone is free to build their personal bonds in the way that best suits him/her ... if not that, these same people ready to tear each other if the situation worsens, even find the courage to distort the partnership between me and Aoi, painting it like a toxic relationship in which she manipulates me according to her will, and I'm reduced to a doll that is limited to executing orders or, in the best case, watching while she sows discord and destruction in the name of both.

At this point, you understand that I cannot ignore such a foul-smelling accusation, so let me tell you how things are: none, and again, none of the things I've said or done in the past two years have been influenced by Aoi. Because, you know, I'm also capable of independent judgment (ability that instead of many of you are missing, I noticed) and not only, I'm even able to get angry! I understand that it sounds absurd, so take a minute of meditation to assimilate this information, and then take a few hours, or days, or even weeks, to realize how all the things that you didn't like and that you think damaged you, that you considered more convenient to attribute to my partner, in reality they were the combined and harmonious effect of two minds that have always worked in perfect harmony, without never prevaricate each other. And perhaps, for many of you, the problem has been (and still is) just that. You can hardly forgive me for I have found a partner "out of the group" (who anyway I knew and with whom I had a firm friendship since well before knowing you, in case you didn't know or you were conveniently forgotten) with whom I chose to work closely, a person whom I admire and whom I appreciate, an I'm very fond of, who made me embark on a project for which I decided it was worth it, which goes beyond fame and glory and any other value to which you attach importance. Perhaps many of you have been wondering for months: "Why Aoi? Why not us?", and so, you decided to vent this suppressed frustration on her,  when perhaps, and I say perhaps, the person you really wanted to vent your livership was and is me.

I will not deny that, for the short time I attended your group, I appreciated your company. As I told to Landsec in the last message I sent him months ago, there were people among you whom I esteemed and respected and which were pleasing to me, but I always treated our relationship lightly;  I never thought there was anything between us that could go beyond kindness and mutual courtesy. We were acquaintances, and nothing more than that, and I'm really sorry if my attitudes (which no doubt were wrong) may have given some of you reason to think otherwise, or in any case to "elevate" our relationship to something more. But this has never authorized you to treat Aoi in the way you did, to denigrate her, to deride her and to accuse her of having performed actions on behalf of both, overshadowing my will and my ideas completely, as if there was no way that I could be something else than what you thought I was. Your myth of Rem always kind, always available and always friendly is an image that you have created of me, which absolutely doesn't belong to me, which I consider incredibly reductive and silly to apply on a person since, sorry if I always repeat the obvious, the reactions are adapted to the situations and you have given me many reasons to be anything but courteous and kind to you. All of this is a mirror of what your real opinion is of us, of the presumption that you have to know two people whom you have always chosen to see only the part that made you more comfortable, and probably even what is the limit of your reasoning ability.

And now I refer directly to the “translators”, I regret to find out that for a long time you have translated comics written by a person you don't esteem at all, as opposed to what you claim to think of me. I sincerely ask myself why you decided to put your blog and your "face" in a story and in dialogues that you thought so bad of, since apparently the only thing that you appreciated the comic were the drawings. Maybe you could create your own comic and think about the interactions between the characters, the story and the dialogues, and translate them into English as it is a far less demanding work than translating into your language.

From this point of view, I understand why you always want to boast about how much effort you make in translations, literally using every possible excuse to reiterate how hard and draining your work is. But then I wonder: if for you to translate from English TO YOUR MOTHER LANGUAGE is so hard, so demanding, then what Aoi should say, as she translates every day from our mother tongue (which I remind you, it's Italian. Maybe it was clear with me but not with her) to English and vice versa, if her work requires to? I’m sure that you too know that translating from English to your own language is not as difficult as doing the opposite, given that you proclaim yourselves to be certified and expert translators and you, Vega, also defined yourself as a writer, as if this title could authorize you to say all the balderdash that left your keyboard. Aoi has been doing this every day for more than two years, but I don't remember ever having seen her making noise for what she has chosen to do, not even when many people ignored (deliberately or not) her role as author in the comics and she would have all the right to point out that she was the mind behind those stories that everyone liked so much. For this, I cannot help but applaud the despicable courage with which you have diminished Aoi's work, who is a translator like you and even more than you, besides being so many other things that you aren't, and laugh at how you have mortified her while you were doing your master work by basing yourself on a translation that came well before you. Therefore, maintaining the scale of judgment with which you have always judged her contribution to comics: if you want to rate Aoi's work as zero, go ahead. But at this point, following your reasoning, I ask you: how should your work be defined? With a negative number? Or even better, with an imaginary number?

In conclusion, I regret that many people believed in Vega's version, full of holes and inconsistencies, without even ascertaining the veracity of what they were being offered. To believe in facts without evidence to support them is a very serious act, which sets out a very dangerous trend to this day. Dangerous for these people, and also for who / what is found in the crosshairs of such lies.

And speaking of these people, I would like to use this post to respond to some brilliant comments that I found myself reading under Vega's propaganda, released by people who arrived like flies that, attracted by the trash, got themselves gathered around it to feast festively, though mostly, I will do nothing but reiterate old concepts. I will not mention names, because there is no need; in any case, those who are curious can go to read through the comments of the post of which I attached the link above, although I don't recommend doing it to those who are particularly weak stomach.

When you accuse Aoimotion of having had, and still have, a very strong influence on me, there is one thing you're right about: if it was not for her, I would have stopped having any contact with the Zootopia fandom already two years ago. Probably my interest would be exhausted within a couple of comics, or even stripes, given the general attention that I can have in fandom, especially if it's fandom related to films and therefore self-contained stories. But then I met her, who overwhelmed me with her imagination, her enthusiasm and above all her pure and unconditional love for the narration, which pushed me to continue. To make a lot more comics than I had expected, to draw a lot more pictures of Nick and Judy than I would have done alone. 90% of what I have produced, and for which you have idolized me (and given the situation in which I'm now, I wonder how sincere these flattery were), exists because she was with me, by my side, close to every process of creation and always ready to advise me, encourage me and help me. So, when you accuse Aoimotion of having forced me to leave the fandom, you should instead thank her, for holding me into it a lot, so much more than I could have predicted.

When you accuse my style of drawing to be "Zootopian", know that first of all this is just a neologism devoid of any meaning, given that Zootopia itself is a Disney-style film and that then brings the style of his factory. And that just because dozens of artists have thrown into the cauldron called "Zootopia" any anthropomorphic animal their pen has created, doesn't mean that the same applies to me. In any case, know that my style is evolving and will evolve again and again, until finally this latest silly accusation will fall into the pit of the "absurd accusations" that are offered to us every day by this fandom.

When you accuse us of wanting to "steal Jack Savage from Disney", when you even use your time to create meme and "fun" comic of dubious taste, of which only the authors, the stupids and their little friends can laugh, hold on to mind that Jack Savage has always been, and always will be, nothing but a sketch on an artbook with a few lines of background, and that all we have built on him is OURS, including much of his physical appearance (which, like everything that is in this fandom, has soon become a collective good, like it happens in the best communist societies). And that we have the right and the duty to take it back, while you have neither of those to come and tell us something. If, as you think according to the legal knowledge of which you are definitely in possession, what we have in mind to do (which, incidentally, has not yet been disclosed to anyone, then as well as experienced lawyers, you're also skilled Espers able to read our minds; if I had your powers, now I would fight in the biggest tribunals of the world, not brawling from behind a keyboard) is wrong, we will pay the consequences; but if what we are doing is simply a nuisance to you, and it stings you as if you were thrown into a bush of nettles, I'm sorry to say that it is not our problem. Maybe you need to take a break from the internet, as I suggested to Vega and Landsec, to review your priorities and give a little more value of your time. Or you could "give yourself to horse racing", as we say in our parts.

Among other things, while we can afford to take away from Jack any connotation in common with his concept and have our fanbase almost unchanged, if anyone else tried to do the same would find himself in a second to swim in anonymity. I invite you to ask yourself why, and if you can, even to give you an answer. It would be sufficient to explain a few of our apparently incomprehensible reasons, and even the reasons for those whose main purpose in recent months seems to have been to discourage and mock us.

The Jack’s question is very well connected with another theme that we considered closed for months, but that obviously still doesn't really go down to some of you: the alleged plot against our readers, hatched by Aoi and me, which established to introduce our OCs in Black Jack, in order to impose them on you and force you to appreciate them and follow their vicissitudes.

We have always considered this accusation extremely funny (it’s a pity that the harassment we suffered because of it were not) and all in all, putting ourselves in the shoes of the average fan and reasoning (indeed, refusing to reason) as such, the thing could also make sense. So we let it go. This only until the moment we published Black Jack.

Once this comic ended (and even a few months before it ended), we reiterated several times that we would never treat Zootopia again. Of course, you understand that we couldn't write "WE WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT NICK AND JUDY !!" at the end of each post or as a watermark on the pages of the new comic, otherwise some brilliant mind would have told us that we were paranoid and unpleasant. So, at a certain point, we stopped coming back to the subject.

At this point, as far as I'm concerned, anyone who has continued to follow us after Black Jack, has done so of his own free will. Perhaps it's hard to publicly admit that you find an interesting story that does not have Nick, Judy or the "Zootopia" tag inside; It’s easier not to express yourself, to avoid the risk that some friend, fervent supporter of the fandom (because now there are no longer supporters of the movie but of the fandom), can stone you on the spot. In this way, you have at any moment the possibility of turning silence-assent into fierce indignation, pulling out the fable that someone is manipulating you to force you to follow something you don’t like and don’t care about. I'm sorry if you felt obliged to follow us by some dark force that you could not fight back, it was absolutely not our intention. We have never been interested in gathering as much support as possible (if we wanted to do it, we would certainly emulate some eminent fandom figure who knows how to keep fans tight), what we always wanted is to express ourselves artistically in absolute freedom, and be judged without any "fandomistic" prejudice .

Therefore, I will reiterate it once again:

if you have no interest in our current work and/or continue to follow us hoping that one day we'll rekindle the desire to work again on Zootopia;

if you have decided to follow us because this gives you the illusion that we're still feeding the dunghill that this fandom has become;

if you’re bad and evil in the soul and find pleasure in spitting poison on a couple of artists who didn't do anything wrong (because now, honestly, what have we ever done to deserve certain crap? After all we have given you for a year or more, you should just learn to be quiet) ...

If you're one of these things, more than one or all put together, I warmly and DEFINITELY invite you to vanish and never return.

Regardless of everything, I'm here to reiterate that we will go on, while the best these people can get is to fossilize themselves where they are now. We are trying to do something big and original, bigger than a mere sub-project of another work, more original than creating new animals that stand on two legs and exist somewhere in the universe of Zootopia (without nothing to take away from those who do it, we simply have different ideas and different objectives). And you know, partly we have already succeeded, and I feel once again to thank Aoi about this, thanks to her characterization and her stories wich allows us to give our OCs peculiarity, to distinguish them from the crowd even if some people try always to imitate the character design of others artists. The more time passes, the more people from the fandom stop following us; but for each of them that leaves, two new readers follow us, people who often have nothing to do with Zootopia and its fandom. And if this is not a victory, I don’t know what it is.

Summing up, I would say that perhaps, rather than feeling angry at certain people, the most appropriate feeling here is compassion. But for respect of ourselves, it's right that even the most miserable and vile of individuals will learn what their place is; for how much compassion I can feel for them, I’ll never transact ever before a villainous gesture. Unfortunately, the more falsehoods are propitiated and stacked, the more the truth will be evident and lethal later. The more you are liars, the more you will be hurt when someone puts you in front of the reality of the facts, exposing your slanders for what they really are: snake venom. For this reason, from now on I strongly advise you to dose more carefully your nonsense, in order to avoid having to hide like rats the moment the truth will surface. This is the last thing I will tell you because, after this refreshing parenthesis, I hope I will never again have to deal with any of you, anywhere in the internet.

And if it were to happen, however, I beg you this time to call things by their real name; to strike directly and clearly who you REALLY want to hit, without first making a shield of people who have nothing to do with the problems you may have with someone. In any case, we will be ready to respond, using the most effective weapon in our possession, the truth; Therefore, I sincerely dissuade you from doing so.

[intricately-silly]

Get to Know Me Tag

I was tagged by @thesimparrot

Ok. So this was sitting in my drafts waiting for the picture for about three years, and I didn’t want to NOT post it. So here it is, very very very late. It did give me a reason to update my simself though. 

Thank you for tagging me friend! <3 <3 <3 Also, omg that’s so many questions... Who is really going to want to know all this about me?

Rules: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

Traits:  goofball + perfectionist + loner

Honestly, how am I supposed to only pick three traits? I’m a complicated individual. I’m intricately silly. Anyway... 

1. What is your full name? Skye. That’s all you get. 

2. What is your nickname? Well actually, Skye is technically my nickname...

3. When is your birthday? August 8th.

4. What is your favorite book series? Hmm... I don’t know. I tend to like individual books rather than series. Although I read the Hunger Games series a while back and I liked that one. 

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? I mean, there’s nothing to disprove it. But I wouldn’t say I fully believe in them either. 

6. Who is your favorite author? I don’t really have one. 

7. What is your favorite radio station? I really like a station on Pandora called Summer Hits of the 90′s.

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? It depends on what it is. 

9. What word do you often use to describe something great or wonderful? Amazing. I think it’s the only word I use. I should expand my “something great” vocabulary. 

10. What is your favorite song currently? Love Somebody by Maroon 5. It’s been my favorite since it came out and it still is.  

11. What is your favorite word? Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

12. What is the last song you listened to? Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers. 

13. What TV show would you recommend everyone to watch? White Collar I guess. 

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? I tend to listen to music when I’m feeling down. But Rush Hour. Or Shrek. 

15. Do you play video games? Nope, not at all... Such a silly question.

16. What is your biggest fear? I have a lot of fears. I have anxiety, so it comes with the territory. But I guess it would be being shut out from everyone and being alone. 

17. What is your best quality in your opinion? I’m a very accepting person. 

18. What is your worst quality in your opinion? Oof. Well...

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Dogs. I’ve always loved dogs. Cats are great too though.

20. What is your favorite season? Autumn. The colors, the cute clothes, the ability to hide under three blankets. 

21. Are you in a relationship? Yep. For a year and a half now. 

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Insouciance.

23. Who is your best friend? Rori, my six month old puppy. 

24. What is your eye color? Blue.

25. What is your hair color? Dark, dark brown. 

26. Who is someone you love? Family, friends, animals. So many.

27. Who is someone you trust? Trust is a hard thing for me. So only those very close to me. 

28. Who is someone you think about often? My boyfriend.

29. Are you currently excited about something? I dunno. Am I?

30. What is your biggest obsession? Anything made by Apple. It’s such a beautiful company.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? When I was two, Dora. I would sit and watch it, purposely giving the wrong answers to her questions. When I got asked why, my answer was “she’s just going to do the right thing anyway.”

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to? My boyfriend. 

33. Are you superstitious? Kinda sometimes. 

34. Do you have an unusual phobias? I have a fear of ladders. Not heights, ladders. 

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Definitely behind.

36. What is your favorite hobby? Video games is the only constant one, all my other hobbies constantly change. 

37. What is the last book you read? It was online and I can’t remember the name to be honest. 

38. What was the last movie you watched? Aquaman.

39. What musical instruments do you play? I played the clarinet when I was younger. Then I played the guitar. Now I’m trying to teach myself to play piano. I’ve always loved the piano. 

40. What is your favorite animal? All of them. But lions and tigers are gorgeous animals. 

41. What are your top five favorite Tumblr blogs? You think I can narrow it down to five?

42. What super power do you wish you had? Teleportation. 

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? When my dog is cuddling with me.

44. What makes you smile? When my puppy is playing.

45. What sports do you play? I played softball when I was younger. 

46. What is your favorite drink? I don’t know. Shirley Temples. Ginger Ale with Lemonade is really good too. 

47. When was the last time you wrote a handwritten letter or note to someone? I can’t remember. So a while ago.

48. Are you afraid of heights? No.

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? I have a lot. But my biggest I think would be people who walk in front of you so slowly that you trip over your own feet. 

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Yep. Maroon 5 was the last one. I hope to go to more too.

51. Are you vegetarian or vegan? No.

52. When you were little what did you want to be when you grew up? A veterinarian.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? The world from Avatar. That’d be cool. 

54. What is something you worry about? Anything and everything. 

55. Are you scared of the dark? Depends on my mood.

56. Do you like to sing? Yes, I just wish I could say I was good at it.

57. Have you ever skipped school? No. 

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? My bed.

59. Where would you like to live? Not where I’m living now. I’m so over this town. It’s pretty clean and safe though, so I appreciate that aspect of it. 

60. Do you have any pets? Two cats and a puppy. Oh, and five chickens. 

61. Are you an early bird or a night owl? Night owl. I want to be an early bird, but I’m naturally more awake at night.

62. Do you like sunrise or sunsets better? Sunsets because you can see the stars after! <3

63. Do you know how to drive? I do.

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. Although headphones sound better. 

65. Have you ever had braces? Yes.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? I tend to like specific songs instead of genres. But I really like 90′s music. 

67. Who is your hero? I have no idea.

68. Do you read comic books? No.

69. What makes you the most angry? So many things. I’m a little hotheaded. But mainly when people are illogical. 

70. Do you prefer to read real books or on an electric device? Real books!

71. What is your favorite subject in school? It was always math.

72. Do you have any siblings? Two. A brother and a sister. 

73. What was the last thing you bought? Coffee...

74. How tall are you? 5′ 5″

75. Can you cook? Psh. Not really. But I’m trying to learn.

76. What are three things that you love? Playing games, watching movies with my boyfriend, and training my dog. 

77. What are three things that you hate? It changes daily.

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female.

79. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual.

80. Where do you currently live? Neverland. 

81. Who was the last person you texted? My boyfriend. 

82. When was the last time you cried? I think it was a week ago.

83. Who is your favorite youtuber? I haven’t had the time to watch YouTube lately. So I don’t know. 

84. Do you like to take selfies? Not in the slightest. The closest thing I’ll do to taking a selfie is make an edit of my simself. 

85. What is your favorite app? Netflix.

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? I’ve always been close with my parents. I’ve always been really close with my siblings too.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? British.

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to but want to visit? All of Europe. But specifically Paris.

89. What is your favorite number? Five. Always has been.

90. Can you juggle? For three seconds. 

91. Are you religious? I am.

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? They’re both so interesting though! Outer space is so pretty and very interesting. But we know absolutely nothing about our oceans. It does peak my curiosity. 

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Every once in a while.

94. Are you allergic to anything? Pollen. Grass. Dust. Spring is like death. 

95. Can you curl your tongue? No, and everyone else I know can and they all tease me about it. Meanies. 

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No... I can’t do anything cool OK? 

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? When it’s clear that I’m wrong, then I’ll admit it. 

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? I love them both. Oooh! A forest near the beach so I can be by the trees but still hear the ocean.

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? "Breathe.”

100. Are you a good liar? I am an awful liar. Like awful awful. I don’t lie, but sometimes I’ll do white lies playfully with my boyfriend and he’ll just laugh because I’m so bad at it.  

101. What is your Hogwarts house? Hufflepuff.

102. Do you talk to yourself? I used to. Now I just talk to my dog.

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? An introvert who loves talking and meeting new people. But at the end of the day, I have to be alone to refill my energy.  

104. Do you keep a journal or a diary? Nope. 

105. Do you believe in second chances? I guess it technically depends. But we’re all human and we all make mistakes. It’s unfair to not give more than one chance. Unless it’s PURPOSELY harming someone else. That’s not ok. No second chances with that. 

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? I would take it to the nearest business. Hopefully the person comes looking. 

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? With most things. If they really wanted to. 

108. Are you ticklish? Yeah...

109. Have you ever been on a plane? I have.

110. Do you have any piercings? I have my standard lobe piercings. Then on my right ear I have a forward helix and upper lobe piercing. On my left I have a helix piercing. And my nose is pierced. 

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Donkey from Shrek.

112. Do you have any tattoos? Yes, just one.

113. What is the best decision that you have made so far? Rescuing my dog, she means the world to me.

114. Do you believe in karma? Yeah, I think so.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? I wore glasses when I was younger, but I don’t need to wear them anymore. My eyes magically improved, I don’t know.

116. Do you want children? I’ve always wanted two.

117. Who is the smartest person you know? I know a lot of smart people.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? This one time...

119. Have you ever pulled an all nighter? Probably too often. Then I got my puppy, and I haven’t since. Puppies are exhausting. 

120. What color are most of your clothes? Maroon. Or blue. I have a lot of grey I think too.

121. Do you like adventures? Yes! “ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!”

122. Have you ever been on TV? Nope.

123. How old are you? 19.

124. What is your favorite quote? I have so many favorites, but... "You’re only given a little spark of madness, you mustn’t lose it.” - Robin Williams.

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Savory. But sweet is sometimes welcome too. 

I tag: anyone who wants to... since this is forever late

[pirumxsim]

GET TO KNOW ME TAG

Thank you for tagging me @oaski and @tvansillaf !

RULES: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

I will tag @ladykendalsims @seoulchii @rosepeachwater @honeybeqr @myopiccc @fashionista4sims @starry-eyed-simss @paulynsims

Questions:

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?  That’s a secret~

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME?  I don’t have any but, you can call me Piru or Rii here on Tumblr!

3. BIRTHDAY?  February 11

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES?  I love Julie Kagawa’s Unsterblich(I don’t know the original English title) series!

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS?  I want to believe in supernatural creatures,but no. I need more evidence

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR?  I don’t have any

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION?  I used to listen to Energy and Ö3

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING?  Honey, yoghurt or cinnamon...?

9. WHAT WORD OR PHRASE WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL?  I think my mouth would just stay open lol

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG?  Every Queen song, because I watched Bohemian Rhapsody today with my mother lol

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD?  As I have mentioned, some powerful words from a novel that said something like “it cost everything from my past to experience this beautiful moment”

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?  Some Queen songs, of course lol

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH?  I don’t know, what should I recommend...?

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN?  I don’t watch movies when I’m really sad

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES?  Yes, ts4, Nintendo 3DS and ps4 games

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?  Now? I’m afraid of... my mother will notice that I became a very lazy student and throwing me away from home

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION?  That I try to use different languages...?

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION?  My social anxiety...?

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER?  Dogs

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?  I like fall here

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP?  No

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD?  Have I even graduated from it yet?? lol

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?  I don’t know, I’m rather a lone wolf in real life, but I love my followers here!

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?  Light brown

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?  Dark brown

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE?  Many people!

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST?  Many people!

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?  My family?

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING?  Giving my second followers gift to my followers~

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION?  ts4 and Tumblr

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD?  I liked watching a lot of nickelodeon shows when I was in elementary school lol

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE?  I don’t know

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS?  Not really

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS?  I have social anxiety...?

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT?  Behind, of course, i’m too shy! lol

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY?  Playing video games and drawing

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ?  Something for college

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?  Bohemian Rhapsody! lol

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY?  I used to play the violin

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL?  I like birds~

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW?  I like everyone!

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD?  I want to think about this if any will exist lol

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE?  In my room

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE?  I don’t know, there are too many things lol

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY?  None

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK?  I don't know...

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY?  I think I wrote a shopping list for my mother few days or weeks ago

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS?  Depends on the situation

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE?  When someone looks at my face and treat me as a foreigner...

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT?  Yes!

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN?  No

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? A manga artist

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN?  In a world where supernatural creatures exist...

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT?  My future...!

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK?  The darkness of space rather than  this planet! And I also don’t want to look at starry skys and a huge moon in the night sky lol

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING?  Yes! Especially when I’m alone

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL?  Yes. I don’t want to and feeling so guilty

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET?  My room!

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE?  In a more peaceful world where no prejudice or discrimination exist

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?  Yes, my cute bird!

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL?  Night owl~

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER?  Both!

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?  No. Only Mario Kart lol

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES?  Earbuds!

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?  No

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?  Pop!

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO?  My grandmother...?

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS?  Sometimes

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY?  I don’t want to become angry, because it makes me very tired and I will get headaches

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK?  Real book!

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?  History

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS?  Yes!

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?  I can’t remember...

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU?  About 165 cm

75. CAN YOU COOK?  No

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE?  No school, playing video games, watching movies...?

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE?  School, school, school lol

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS?  Female

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION?  Nothing...? I don’t know

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE?  With my family

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED?  My younger sister

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?  I can’t remember

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER?  That’s a secret~ lol

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES?  No. I have never taken any yet lol

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP?  YouTube and Tumblr

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE?  I hope it’s good...

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT?  Hmm... British English?

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT?  Taiwan! I have never been to other asian countries

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?  I don’t know...

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE?  No

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS?  No

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING?  Why?? lol

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL?  No

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING?  No

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE?  No

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS?  Yes lol

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING?  Many times, because it is part of the culture here

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH?  Forest

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU?  I don’t know...

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? No (Yes...!) lol

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE?   Ravenclaw...? I bought a scarf from an official Harry Potter store!

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF?  No, but I like singing

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT?  Definitely an introvert! lol

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY?  No. Only my simblr or Twitter

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES?  I want to, if I can think positive enough...!

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?  Nothing and ignore. It could be a bomb...!!

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE?  Yes

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH?  At some parts...?

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE?  Yes. Many times

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS?  No

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL?  I don’t know...

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS?  No

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR?  Restarting this simblr, because I could meet so many nice people in this community!

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA?  Maybe? I’m not sure

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS?  I wear glasses since I was 3 and they are my family too lol( I forgot to add them to my simself, oops)

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN?  No

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW?  My little bird?? lol

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY?  Too many things... I’m veeery shy lol

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER?  Yes. 2 months ago when I played ts4 and it was my first time lol

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES?  Navy,gray or black?

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES?  No

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV?  Yes

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU?  19

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE?  I think I already mentioned this above

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS?  Sweet!

＊ And thank you for the support Google!! lol ＊

[aeolian-mode]

aeo’s guide to RP

Hey guys!

I’ve been roleplaying for the better half of my life, and I had the thought today, ‘you know what? It could be cool to make a thing about RPing that may help new RPers or young people learn more about it.’ So I made this. Read if you feel like it ^^ (FYI, this is all for text-based online RP things. Tabletop RPs are not part of this article.)

So, what is RP? I’ve always defined roleplay as ‘collaborative storytelling.’ You take control of a character that you invent, and write what your character will do in a situation with another individual.

Writing a book by yourself is sometimes difficult, because you have to rely solely on yourself, your own life experience, and your own resources. When you write a book with others, it’s a lot different. Your RP partners bring in their own interests and experiences. There is also the layer of mystery- you can’t predict what they will write next, which makes waiting for the next post exciting.

So if you have an original character you want to introduce to the world, RP is a great way to stretch your creative muscles and become a better writer before you try to tackle writing novels or making comics.

How do you RP? There are many ways to find a community of like-minded storytellers. First, you have to figure out what kind of RP you want to do. There are RP groups for fandoms, furries, original universes, and more! If you’re really interested in something, chances are, there is an RP community out there somewhere. This is the most important thing to understand: you should try to interact with others first rather than expecting them to find you. Most people are always extremely grateful and excited for the attention, and they will very likely return the favor. If you have anxiety, that’s ok- TONS of RPers struggle with anxiety, and I haven’t met a single person who has ever been upset or displeased to be approached by someone for RP. You will delight them, they will feel good to be included! 1. You can join an instant messaging RP such as a Discord group. (It’s sometimes more difficult to find these unless you already follow a lot of RP groups and have a lot of friends interested in RP. Post about it on your blog, see if anyone in your friend group is in one!) 2. You can create an RP blog on Tumblr. In order to find people to interact with, you will probably have to interact with other RP blogs first. The way I did it on my TF2 RP blog is to send messages to other blogs, draw the characters of every person that followed me or interacted with me, and tag my RP posts #tf2 rp. People LOVE drawings and direct interactions. 3. You can search for an RP forum to join. One of my go-to places is the RPG Directory: http://rpg-directory.com/ Sometimes, simply googling for something like “pokemon forum RP” helps, too!

4. You can join a MMORPG RP community. Most big-name MMOs have dedicated RP groups on their RP servers. For example, if you wanted to join ESO’s RP scene, check out the ESO RP forum to make connections before you jump into the game. People are usually very friendly and helpful for new RPers and will help you settle in to the community. Here’s some things to help you pick the game that’s right for you (from the list of games I have personally experienced RP): FFXIV ($15 Monthly Sub): https://ffxiv-roleplayers.com/ WoW ($15 Monthly Sub): https://us.battle.net/forums/en/wow/1182815/ ESO (Pay Once, Play Forever): https://www.eso-rp.com/ LotrO (Free to Play!): https://www.lotro.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?539-Laurelin-EN-RP  Wildstar (Free to Play!): https://www.wildstar-roleplay.com/

(As a note, Free to Play RP servers tend to be a bit more come-and-go; the subscription-based games tend to have more player retention. If you want to make long term connections, be sure to get friend requests from people you’ve enjoyed writing with, as they might not stick around forever!)

RP flows differently depending on your medium. Instant messaging generally tends to be more fast paced, but results in shorter posts with less descriptions and exposition. Forum RP tends to be much slower paced, but posts are more detailed and lengthy with lots of exposition. MMO RP tends to be incredibly fast paced, but with very little exposition and description, focusing almost entirely on character actions and dialogue (as the video game environment already provides the visual, reducing the need for description). Pick a pacing that is right for you! For me, forums are currently easiest, because my life is busy and I don’t have to be online all the time to have a good story. What are the rules of RP?

A lot of people will say, “the 3 main things you need to avoid are ‘godmoding’, ‘powerplaying’, and ‘metagaming.’ “Godmoding” is taking control of someone else’s character without their consent. In RP, it’s important to write only your own character during interactions. “Powerplaying” is bending the story around your own will. Such as: writing your character as if they are impervious and can easily take over the world with their unlimited power. (For example, your partner’s character is angry with your character and throws a punch at them. Your character avoids the punch effortlessly, grabs the attacker’s hand, breaks it, then tosses them through a window.) “Metagaming” is giving your character knowledge that you have, but your character does not have. (For example, someone told you about the contents of their character’s secret journal out of character, but your character did not read that journal, you should not assume your character knows that information.)

However, I would say these are only symptoms of one simple issue: lack of consent.

Before doing something that could change the story in a significant way, simply ask the people you are RPing with if it is OK with them.

So, I would boil down the ‘most important RP rule’ as simply one rule: the Rule of Consent. It doesn’t just apply to mature topics. It applies to everything.

Communication is key! Chances are, people will be OK with accommodating your vision for the story, or helping you come up with a way to make it work. Before doing something extreme like instigating violence, coming across sensitive information, or introducing a significant conflict, simply communicate your ideas out-of-character to your partners before pursuing it. You will have a much better experience if you simply communicate!

Are there RP taboos I should avoid? How do I stay safe if I want to RP but I’m a minor?

This is a bit of a touchier topic, but the rule of thumb is: If it’s gonna be weird and hard to talk about in person, in real life, and out-of-character, chances are, it’s going to be weird and hard to approach in an RP context. Many people RP as an escape from real-world drama and difficulties; don’t bog down their fantasy with the sorts of things they may be trying to avoid. Go back to the Rule of RP: Consent. Make sure your partner will be comfortable with exploring heavier, taboo topics in their fiction and storytelling. TL;DR- Some people don’t like Game of Thrones. Some people don’t want their RP environment to turn into Game of Thrones. Some people enjoy writing about heavier, ‘adult’ material, but don’t assume everyone does. Try to assume your partner is a minor unless they tell you otherwise. (Obvious exception being, if you explicitly joined an 18+ forum, community, guild, etc. The admins of said community should be doing their best to enforce that everyone joining is 18+.)

Don’t be creepy. RP is a hobby, community storytelling, and should be fun for everyone.

If it stops being fun for you, tell your partner it is not fun. You are not obligated to RP with someone who makes you unhappy or uncomfortable. It is a hobby. If you’re worried that they won’t be your friend anymore if you stop RPing with them, ask yourself if that is because they are manipulating you. A real friend will not make you feel trapped.

And if you are a minor, make sure that you stay safe. Don’t join an 18+ community. Don’t ever give someone your personal information, even if they seem like your friend. It’s very easy to get emotionally invested in the stories you tell through RP, but predators are very good at manipulation. View RP as a creative outlet. Look for an RP community that is right for you, and surround yourself with like-minded people.

Practice emotionally distancing yourself from the content of your stories. It’s good and fun to get invested, but don’t become so invested in the story that it induces anxiety, stress, or makes it hard for you to focus on your real life responsibilities. If something is causing you anxiety, panic episodes, or difficulty sleeping and focusing, listen to your body. It’s telling you something isn’t right. Talk about it with someone you trust, and start distancing yourself from the RP.

RP is for fun! Always remember that. Everyone you RP with should respect that it is for fun, and not something to lose sleep over!

I’m having trouble finding RP partners, getting people to stay interested in my story, or staying interested in it myself. What do I do?

I’ve found that the best way to stay invested and get people interested in your story is to give your character a very strong, attainable goal. Here is an example of a “difficult to RP” character concept. Tim the Traveller is mute. He goes around the world looking for people to help, because he’s a very powerful magic healer. He has no family and no home. People have trouble communicating with him because he can’t talk. But he does his best to help. This character is difficult to RP with because he places the onus of every interaction on the other person. He is involving himself in their stories, but he has no personal goals or challenges to explore, himself. Plus, being mute, it makes it more difficult for him to carry on lengthy conversations with the people he encounters. This character concept can be done in a fun and effective way, but I’d say it is a challenge for someone who is just starting out. Let’s see what we can do to make Tim the Traveller a bit easier to RP with. Tim the Traveller suffered severe burns all over him from an incident when he was a child: a criminal set fire to his parent’s house, killing his father. He is searching the world for where the arsonist fled to. He only has a loose trail of breadcrumbs to follow in his quest for revenge and must constantly search for more information and change trajectories. He attempts to help those he comes across during his travels, but always takes his opportunity to press people for more information, describing the arsonist and praying desperately that he will find a trace of the man that killed his father. This sort of idea of a plot allows you to communicate to your RP partners OOC what your character’s goals are, give them information that they might help your character continue his quest, and in turn, your character also has opportunities to help them with their own goals at the same time. One RP I’ve done in the past that was fun was a case of a grave robber. My character was an incredibly poor street rat-turned-detective, and he was approached with an unusual case: a grave was dug up by a necromancer, the body tampered with, but it was placed back in the grave and the perpetrator was nowhere to be seen. My character was strongly motivated to find the perpetrator because he needed the reward money to take care of his adopted son. With limited information concerning the plot, my character travelled all over the city asking everyone he encountered for whatever information they might have regarding the tampered grave. This allowed me to involve a lot of people in the community and allowed my GM to construct opportunities for those involved to find more evidence, and developed into a very rich and interesting story.

A passive character is harder to RP with. An active character makes things happen.

 A wallflower RP character can be fun to play in some circumstances, but without an attainable goal, involving others in your story will be harder. Give them goals and motivations, communicate with your RP partners, and see what sorts of stories can be told!

My RP never goes anywhere. I write starters/approach people, but every interaction I have with people doesn’t ever result in anything. What am I doing wrong? I have found, in my RP experience, your connections will feel more in-depth and your RP more rewarding if you try and see how your character and your friend’s character can develop and change over time. This requires some thinking, plotting, and openness to new ideas. It also requires challenging yourself to write lengthier posts for your partner.

For interesting interactions that go deeper than simple introductions and “how’s the weather” RP, it is beneficial to try and include a few things in your starter post or scene. For me, I like to come up with 3 things to include for every starter I write.

1. A clearly defined setting. Like, what’s the time of day? Is it indoors or outdoors? In a city? Somewhere private? Etc.

2. A motive. Why is your character doing what he’s doing right now? What does he want in the scene right now? If he’s just standing around doing nothing, your RP partner has nothing to latch on to. In some way, what he’s doing should tie back to a goal.

3. A connection to your RP partner’s character in some way. Why is their character, specifically, involved in the scene? Know your partner, and try to learn about your partner’s character’s goals. See if both of your characters’ goals can converge.

If you have trouble coming up with an idea for your RP partner, it’s always nice to message them OOC see what you can plot together. If you approach, rather than be approached, and ask questions and try to plot, you will find you have a much easier time easing into RP with them, and you might make a new friend too!

And that’s it for now! The TL;DR to all this is: 1. Follow the Rule of Consent! 2. Give your character goals and motivations! 3. Learn about your partner’s character and actively involve them! If you have additional questions or want to know where I RP at, feel free to send me a message :D

[heroofthreefaces]

Here’s the blog orientation post I wrote for midnight new year’s eve 2017, and revised midyear, because significant bits had changed or needed updating and it were prolly best revised and reposted semianually. (Semiannual means twice a year. Biannual means you like both leap years and non-leap years.) I don’t recall whether I’ve ever actually been asked about any of this but you could call it the blog FAQ.

The name of my tumblog comes from my webcomic The Hero of Three Faces: fanfiction, but it’s comic strips with stick figures, but they’re triangles. Primary focus is on Doctor Who crossovers, because Doctor Who is my favorite, because I love crossovers, and because there’s no better literal and literary device for crossovers than a time machine. The rest of the top tier of my fandom pantheon is Star Trek (all series), Superman and superheroes (primarily screen rather than comics these days), M*A*S*H, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Star Wars, but anything I watch or read might turn up in Three Faces. Including my own concluded King Arthur webcomic, Arthur, King of Time and Space. I also draw an intermittent journal comic, Creative Process.

For every morning at 10:00 (all times US Central) I queue a link post to the day’s new cartoon on the Three Faces main site, which usually appeared there fourteen or sixteen hours earlier. During the summer when I take a hiatus at Three Faces, I post morning links to “reruns”, cartoons in the archive. I usually say cartoon rather than comic strip or comic as in internet current vernacular, but only usually. At midnight every day I post a rerun link. Well, sometimes I forget, but rarely now that I’ve figured out how post scheduling works. I’d have to have also forgotten to schedule the following morning’s new cartoon link. It’s happened.

Mostly I load my queue but sometimes I post or reblog while scrolling in realtime, if I’m signal-boosting something time sensitive or if it’s a dialog with someone or if I just feel like it. How often the queue fires, and how far in advance it gets loaded, varies and remains in a state of evolution. At one point my queue was running a week ahead but I decided I don’t like delaying gratification that long. Right now I’m very happy with: at least once a day I set the daily queue post number to the amount of queued posts presently in the queue, so that the queue’s continually set to run out the next twenty four hours running as I scroll and continue to queue. I’ve never tagged queued posts like a lot of people do, and since now it’s the default it wouldn’t make sense anyway. If new posts stopped coming, you’d know I’d been hit by a bus or by climate change or something about a day previous to that. Unless the cell towers are gone or I am, you can keep up with me anyway at the Three Faces Twitter linked here or from the front page of the Three Faces site.

Aside from my own cartoons and text posts which actually make up a small percentage of posts, I reblog fannish and social justice posts. Reblogging’s not all I do about social justice, but I genuinely believe that circulating progressive ideas in social media is one of the most important ways the ideas will get saturated into the present and up-and-coming generations (I turned 59 ten days before Christmas) who will be the ones to affect the needed changes. To anyone who would ask, “Why do you have to mix politics in with the Doctor and Captain Kirk and Leia Organa, huh?”, I can only say: You’ve got the cart so far ahead of the horse that line-of-sight is blocked by the horizon. Who do you think I learned these values from?

I use spoilers tag(s) only the first week after premier/debut.

I have an art tags tag with entries explaining and updating how I demark and tag each kind of art I post to Tumblr, mine and others’. A reblog's queued a minute before this post.

llol means “literally laughed out loud”. I only ever used lol when I literally laughed out loud anyway, but I decided to formalize it. It’s a tag.

I participated in the logout two weeks ago on the day the new standards and practices went into effect, and I hang out on Twitter more since then than I have in years, but I don’t mean to stop reading and posting at Tumblr until/unless it putters out like Usenet or becomes intolerable like LiveJournal. Those things take time.

For the New Year at the Hero of Three Faces site I updated the chronology timeline graphic at the bottom of the About page, and also placed it on the bottom of the Archive page.

Thanks for reading.

[apatheticmaplesyrup]

1-100

Thank you :D

This is gonna be a long post so continue at your own peril.

Is a kiss considered cheating?If it’s a proper snog, yeah.

Have you ever faked orgasm?Yeah.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?Probably.

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?I don’t know if I’ll be rich, but hopefully rich enough to live comfortably.

Tell us some funny drunk story.I don’t think I really have any funny ones :’)

Why are you no longer together with your ex?I don’t know that there was a particular reason, it just didn’t work out.

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Natural causes.

What are your current goals?To get through uni and get a 2:1/1st, and try to lower my body fat (mainly for health right now).

Do you like someone?I don’t know, I think I might but I’m not sure.

Who was the last person to disappoint you?Myself for not going to the gym when I’ve got a membership and keep saying I will.

Do you like your body?I don’t like how it looks overall, but there are good parts to me. It’s worked relatively fine so far, so I’m happy with that.

Can you keep a diet?Not unless I can get past the first month of it.

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?Did Barry the Bee really have sexual relations with Vanessa, and did Ken ever get to have yoghurt night?

Do you work?No.

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?Chicken wraps probably.

Would you get a tattoo?Yeah, I want one but I’m just not sure what to start with.

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?Food.

Can you drive?Yes.

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?Idk man it’s been a while. *tiny violin plays in the distance*

What was the last thing you cried for?I think I was just really sad and really tired, there was no real trigger.

Do you keep a journal?Nope.

Is life fun?It can be sometimes. It can also be a lot of effort.

Is farting in front of people irrelevant?I don’t know what this means by irrelevant but I don’t think it matters much unless it’s a crowded area.

What’s your dream car?This changes, but I do really want a Dodge Charger (either a 1970s one or the 2014 model)

Are grades in school important?Yes, because it can affect what direction you take for your career (i.e. choosing if/where to go to university), but it’s not the most important thing. You can get bad grades and still be successful and happy in life.

Describe your crush.Really chilled out, similar sense of humour to me and just quite easy to be around.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?I’m listening to the audiobook “How to Build a Universe: An Infinite Monkey Cage Adventure” by Brian Cox, Robin Ince and Alexandra Feachem. It’s impressive how they can talk about and explain these theories about space and time in a way that is accessible and often comedic.

What was your last lie?Probably something like “I can’t come out, I have a lot of work to do”.

Dumbest lie you ever told? When I was a kid, my mum caught me playing my Gameboy when I wasn’t supposed to, and I tried to lie and say I didn’t even though I clearly was.

Is crying in front of people embarrassing?I don’t feel comfortable doing it because a lot of people do judge others when they cry in public, but if it’s people I know then I don’t really feel it should be embarrassing.

Something you did and you are proud of?Cleaned and decorated my room in my new house.

What’s your favourite cocktail?I’d probably still go with long islands, purely because I haven’t found another one that I love yet.

Something you are good at?Complaining.

Do you like small kids?I don’t mind them, I’m just terrible at dealing with them.

How are you feeling right now?Like I should be writing my essay rather than procrastinating :’)

What would you name your daughter/son?I don’t have a clue.

What do you need to be happy?Financial and emotional stability and a healthy relationship.

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?Not right now, I’m feeling pretty chill.

What was the last gift you received?GTA 5 from my friends for my birthday

What was the last gift you gave?It was just a £20 playstation store card and we made him cocktails as well.

What was the last concert you went to?The Community Festival in Finsbury Park

Favourite place to shop at?Blue Inc.

Who inspires you?My parents, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

How old were you when you first got drunk?18.

How old were you when you first got high?Still haven’t.

How old were you when you first had sex?16.

When was your first kiss?When I was 14 or 15.

Something you want to do until the end of this year?Come up with ideas for music videos and sketches.

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?Yes.

Post a selfie.Really not feeling it today, sorry.

Who are you most comfortable around?@robbiesheehanigan, @lucashaggettphotography, @i-dw and @th4t-f33ling

Name one thing that terrifies you.Heights.

What kind of books do you read?I usually read fantasy books, but books about space are also great.

What would you tell your 12 year old self?Get into a sport, it’ll help you in the future.

What is your favourite flower?Chrysanthemums.

Any bad habits you have?Oh yes. Definitely.

What kind of people are you attracted to?People who are kind, I’m comfortable being around, have a similar sense of humour, and I don’t really know apart from there being ‘something’ that makes them attractive to me.

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?Other than cod, I don’t really like seafood. I also really don’t like olives.

Are you in love?No.

Something you find romantic?Sitting in front of a fire together somewhere scenic and toasting marshmallows. Also stargazing. 

How long was your longest relationship? About 4 years.

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? I’m just going to say three things in general.1 - When people are unnecessarily rude to waiting/bar staff.2 - When people only want to do things their way or no way, with no contingency plan or even listening to what other people have to say, even if it’s valid.3 - People who say they’ll do something, and constantly don’t.

What are you saving money for?A car or a new camera.

How would you describe your bad side?Rude, nasty to people, and short-tempered.

Are you actually a good person? Why?I hope so, but I don’t know how to judge that. I think I’m probably just a neutral person.

What are you living for?To see what happens next.

Have you ever done anything illegal?Aha, nice try cops

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?I probably have and can’t remember, so I’m sorry to anyone who I may have done that to.

Ever sent nudes?Nah I’m not that confident :’)

Have you ever cheated on someone?No.

Favourite candy?I could always go for a bounty or kit-kat.

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!Not really, I mostly just look at my timeline.

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?I do, I started playing Dark Souls 3 recently and it’s really fun but I’m not particularly good at it. My favourite game changes but I think the one I’ve always liked is Tom Clancy’s Hawx.

Favourite TV series?I still really like Community, though Tokyo Ghoul and Stranger Things are also amazing.

Are you religious? Does God exist?I used to be but now I’m not so much. I think there might be some type of higher power, but I don’t definitively believe that there is or isn’t.

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?I answered this with the one about a book that’s impressed me :)

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?I think vegetarianism is admirable, probably more ethically correct and environmentally friendly. I don’t really know enough about veganism to make an informed comment, but it’d probably be a similar opinion. 

How long have you been on Tumblr?Probably like 5 years or so. I think I had it before then but never used it.

Do you like Chinese food?Yes.

McDonalds or Subway?McDonalds

Vodka or whiskey?Straight whiskey, vodka if it’s with a mixer

Alcohol or drugs?Alcohol

Ever been out of your province/state/country?Yes

Meaning behind your blog name?I watched Stranger Things 2 and Steve as the babysitter is my favourite thing. Also the last scene where he’s giving Dustin a pep talk is brilliant.

What are you scared of?Heights. A lot of other things too, but let’s just go with heights.

Last time you were insulted?Probably earlier today (part of banter with my friends)

Most traumatic experience ?I have no idea, probably the many times I ran into the door frame when I was younger.

Perfect date idea?Dinner and a movie (even if it’s at home) is a great idea. Stargazing and a campfire (and obviously food) would also be amazing, but I feel like that’d be once I know them a little better.

Favourite app on your phone?The Clock app, I would probably not wake up on time without it.

What colour are the walls in your room?White

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I watch YouTube, I’ve always loved Markiplier because he’s a lovely person (though I haven’t really watched his videos recently). I really like Shane and Ryan in Buzzfeed Supernatural.

Share your favourite quote.L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle

What is the meaning of life?I feel like that’s a question for Google.

Do you like horror movies?Not really, I can watch them and I think some of them are great, but I get scared by them really easily.

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Yeah, I think the most recent time was when I turned 21 and/or came back to uni.

Do you feel lucky or special in a way?Yeah, I’ve lived quite a good life. I have an amazing family who have always looked after me and shown me love, and I think I’m lucky to have that.

Can you keep a secret?Probably, depends on the secret. You got a confession to make?

Thank you for asking :) Also @robbiesheehanigan someone else also did the 1 to 100 thing so here you go xo

[winter-is-ending]

Flower ask: Anemone, baby's breath, daffodil, hyancith, hydrangea, iris, poinsetta, rose, sunflower, daisy, tulip, petunia, and lilac (my question for lilac is: If someone wrote you in a fanfic, would you make guesses on what you'll end up actually doing in the story before your official story/chapter debut is uploaded, or keep your actions a surprise? Regarding this, what do you predict you'll end up doing by yourself or with Tracey and Barry by the time you're in Subzero Hero (my fanfic)? :P

Anemone: how old were you when you first started writing?

I was either 13 or 14. I was a freshman in high school at the time when I first found out about fanfiction.net

Baby’s breath: about how many fics have you completed?

Full chapter stories: 3 

Oneshots: Too many haha

Daffodil: do you prefer to write about an OC or an unnamed reader (y/n)?

I prefer to write about an OC (as the numerous stories with OCs tell you). I like to be able to create a personality and backstory on a character rather than reader insert. That’s just my preference though. I do read plenty of both OC and reader insert stories.

Hyancith: do you prefer to write angst or fluff?

It honestly depends on my mood when I write and whatever is happening in the story, but I LOVE fluff. If I read something with really fluffy stuff I will be smiling the entire time. Fluff is also how I’ve met some friends on here and on fanfiction like @thewintersoldierdisaster when I read her storTuy where Bucky was babysitting Steve’s son. So cute!! I was smiling through every chapter haha.

Hydrangea: what inspired you to begin writing in the first place?

I think I’ve always liked to write even when I was little. I wrote two short stories for some assignments back in elementary school (I just found one of them recently actually). But to start writing fanfiction I was inspired by this anime/manga I used to watch and read called D Gray Man. My friend let me borrow the third book one day and I was hooked. I developed a crush on one of the characters (as 13 year old me does) and fell in love with the story and the world. I created a character in my head and it wasn’t until that same friend or another friend told me about fanfiction.net that I decided to build up the courage to start writing. Looking back at that fanfic I cringe so much at the cheesy-ness and the horrible writing, but it shows how much I’ve improved through the years!

Iris: do you prefer writing about a man or a woman character? why?

I prefer women because that’s all I’ve been writing for mostly. I’m not sure why though. I think it’s because I can relate to some things that happens to my character or because I’m a woman and know how we think. However, I do want to write more for men I’m just horrible at creating male characters, but I need to practice more if I want to get better.

Poinsettia:  is it hard for you to make up names for characters in your fics?

Sometimes. Sometimes the names come to me in an instant and other times it takes me forever to think of a good name. I’ll have a character already in development and ready to start writing for but it will take me a few tries to get a name just right. For instance, one character I created was for the anime Fairy Tail and I had her look and personality finished, but I couldn’t think of a good name until I talked with @the-argosy and got a better name from her than what I had at the moment.

Rose: which of your works is your favorite? why?

The Winter Series because it’s the first series that I have actually successfully finished chapter stories in. The number of chapter stories I have started I have failed to complete. I also love the characters I have created, they’re my trash children. 

Although one story that holds dear to my heart is my Four Brothers story. It’s a story I started and had a lot of plans for that I haven’t touched since high school, but I have this feeling that one day I’ll get back to it and continue it. I love the characters from the movie and I love the character I created. I hope to one day get back to it.

Sunflower: what is the best feedback/compliment you’ve ever received regarding your writing?

That’s honestly the hardest question to answer out of all of these. I can’t remember the best feedback/compliment I’ve ever received. I’d have to look through all my stories to figure that one out. But there is one recent review I’ve gotten that was from the recent chapter of What Happens Now? 

Loved this chap. I just want to say that no matter how long between updates, I will always follow this series until its completion! It is one of the best fics I’ve read for Avengers and it is amazing. You will always have my views!I know that, for me at least, I need someone to tell me they are still reading my story even after I haven’t updated in a while. So, I’m doing that for you! Can’t wait for your next update!SuperWhoLandLocked

Seeing this review after nearly of year of not updating made me smile a lot. I’ve been feeling down about my writing and my story. I feel like the series hasn’t been doing as well as it did when I first started and that I lost readers. I also have been really busy which has kept me from writing which has always been a stress reliever and a hobby of mine which has made me a little upset. Not upset to the point I’m depressed every day, but just upset when I try to sit down and write and nothing comes to mind. But this review honestly made me really happy. Reviews have always encouraged me to continue writing and have let me know that I still have readers who are waiting for what will happen next. Seeing this review made me so so happy and this person is one of the sweetest people I have talked to in the past. So thank you so much for this review it definitely made me a lot more confident after posting the recent chapter!!

Daisy: would you ever consider a career in writing?

Yes! I am studying journalism as my minor along side my fashion retail major. I hope to one day write for a fashion magazine. But for now I am working on a fashion blog at mstreetfashion. It’s not the best, but it’s a start. I’m still developing it and learning how to edit the blog itself so it looks 10 times better than what it is now. I also am thinking over the name and trying to find a new name for the blog.

I hope to one day have a strong following with the blog and inspire people to be themselves and dress how they like to dress! Fashion is a way of expressing yourself and my clothes show my personality and my favorite things like my graphic tee shirts I wear every now and then. I want to be able to show that it’s a great way to express yourself and be who you are. 

Tulip: what is your favorite writing blog on tumblr that you feel deserves more followers and reads?

That’s a hard question. I have a good number of friends who write that deserve readers and followers! There’s @booksthegreatestweapon @herebesparrows @thewintersoldierdisaster @step-into-my-office @the-argosy and @puffandproud. And you, you have a lot of good stories on your account. There’s so many more that I could tag and one day if I ever reach my next 100 followers I’ll do a follow forever or just tag people who deserve recognition because I know way too many writers on here who deserve recognition.

Petunia: who is your favorite character to write for? why?

Out of my OCs definitely Tracey. She’s grown so much on me over the years and she’s the OC I’ve written the most for. 

Out of canon characters that’s hard. It’s a tie between either Clint, the Maximoff twins, Sharon, Sam and Bucky. They’re just a few of my favorites. I also like adding Sharon into the mix of the series because she needs more screen time than what she got in the two movies she was in. Pietro and Wanda because I love their relationship so much! Clint because he’s a little shit. Sam because he’s Sam. He’s cool. Bucky because he is such a dynamic character and it’s great to show a happier side to him but also get to write a dark side to him.

Lilac: 

It depends on the story. If I come in right away I can’t exactly guess on what I’ll do because I’m not sure where the story is going. If I appear in the middle of the story I could take a guess as to what I could do. It also depends on the author because it depends on how well they know me personally to get my actions and personality down for whatever situation I am thrown in. 

What I’ll be doing or what the twins will be doing in your story is a mystery to me. The twins could either end up being teachers somehow in it or you could have made them teenagers and part of the student body. The same goes for me. I’m excited to see what you’ll do though!

I am sorry for the long post. I still have no idea how to do the whole “keep reading” thing. If anyone knows I’m all for a tutorial haha