#i just dont wanna leave again i miss all those nice people

[onemorecupofcoffee]

.

[miirohs]

nothing on me but you [l.d.n]

pairing: Mob Boss!Lando Norris x Assistant!Reader wc: 1.0k cw: slight dubcon (they kiss while reader is under influence and without permission), possessive behavior, he is a red flag lowkey? an: and when the world needed her most, she came back (after crying for 2 weeks straight and slapping herself to pull it together)... chat i didn't cook with this one pls dont flop.

You could feel people's eyes on you even as you left the hall, talking quietly among themselves as you clung on tighter to Landos arm, almost trying to make yourself invisible.

You could hear their still hear their sighs of pity, following you out the building.

You knew exactly what they were whispering were about.

It wasn’t a secret that Lando was a playboy, and now everyone assumed you were just another one of the bodies in his count. You were madly in love with him, and yet you couldn’t bring yourself to face the fact that you were just another thing he would claim, sooner or later.

As the cold wave of realization and sadness washed over you, you let go of your grasp around his shoulders, gently prying his hands off you as you stood still. You hadn’t drunk enough to be able to forget a whole car ride home.

“Sir, this doesn’t look right, I think you should just let me go home by myself.” You mumbled, head hanging in shame as he turned back to you. The alcohol wasn’t wearing off quick enough.

“Leave you alone? Drunk?” He said, tone incredulous as you looked at him. 

“Mmmh, I could just call an uber…?” You trailed off, noticing the look of annoyance on his face. He rarely hid anything from you, especially not his displeasement.

“An uber? I don’t think it would be very wise of me to leave you alone like that, I'm surprised you could even suggest such a thing while I'm still here.” He said sternly, reaching out to grab your hand firmly. “C’mon, you’re in no state to leave on your own baby.”

His car was parked at the corner, lavish from the outside and especially on the inside as you slid in, letting go of his hand as he shut the door with a smile.

The car ride was met with a charged silence, comfortably settled between you. You could see the city lights from your window, beating brightly in the distance. You kept stealing glances at him every now and then, watching as the light from the streets passed over his eyes, jewelry glinting softly. His hand gripped the wheel as he drove, humming something softly. The song playing softly in the background seemed to tune out as his hand intertwined into yours. 

It was just too calm. You just couldn’t bear the silence any longer.

“Sir, i just wanna ask-”

“Lan.”

You paused, taken aback by the sudden interruption.

“I’m sorry?”

“Start calling me Lan again. I miss it.” 

You hadn’t called him that in ages, not since the days of your early and very short friendship. You wondered what could’ve brought it up, but you were in no place to say no.

For a moment, you wondered if he felt the same.

“Sir- I mean Lan, what are you doing this for?”

“So what, I can’t do nice things for you?” He chuckled, cringing slightly as the edge in his voice betrayed him. His hand slipped away from yours and you wanted to grab it back, but shame kept you from doing so.

“Well, i just assumed that you just wanted to-” He turned towards you, eyes dark as he looked you up and down.

“Assumed that I was doing this just because I wanted you in my bed? Have you been listening to what all those worthless people whisper about you and me then?” He tsked, clearly peeved by the things coming out of your mouth.

“Isn’t that what you did for all the other ones too? I’m just one of many-” His grip on the wheel tightened, knuckles turning white.

“Who said that you were one of all those other ones, baby?” 

His words cut through the ache in your heart like a knife. You almost couldn’t breathe, thoughts filling your head at what he’d just said.

"Baby, who said that you were one of all those other ones?" he repeated softly, his voice gentle in comparison to the deadly smile on his face. 

You swallowed hard, finding it hard to think under his intense glare. “I- I don’t know. I just thought that maybe we’d be better off parting ways because clearly people don’t-”

“You’re such a liar baby, you know that?”

“What?” Your heart dropped.

You hadn’t realized you had reached his sprawling mansion, the lights coming alive as you came to a sharp stop at his doorstep.

He hadn’t unlocked the door handles either, turning off the ignition and then turning to you.

“Such a liar, baby.” There was warmth in the laughs he let out, yet his expression was unreadable as his hand gently cupped the back of your neck, bringing your face closer to his.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me. Can you imagine how mad it made me up to see you look at other people like that?” He hissed, lips almost up against yours.

You whined as he moved away, smirking at your state.

You wanted him desperately, and he knew. “Can’t you see that I want you? And don’t lie, I know you want me too. Don’t think I haven't seen the way you’ve looked at me.” He cooed, leaning into you.

You faltered, unable to form a coherent response as Lando’s hand moved to your cheek, his touch comforting and suffocating at the same time.

“I want y-“

But before you could utter another word, he pulled you in, pressing his lips firmly against yours. He gnawed at your bottom lip, slipping his tongue into your mouth, the aftertaste of champagne overpowering it all.

You broke from it, inhaling deeply before he pulled you in once more, relentless in the way he greedily devoured the air from you. His grip on your nape had loosely returned, thumb running up and down the back of your neck before his hand slowly ran down the backless dress.

You pushed him away again, softer this time as you choked on the sudden intake of air.

His head ran up and down your back, eventually wrapping around your waist to bring you closer to him.

“I want nothing on me but you, have I made that clear? I love you.” He whispered, pressing his forehead to yours.

“Lando.”

“Say it back, please.” He begged, a slightly pout forming in his face.

“I love you too, Lan.”

[imanii-leaa]

wanted to start off making a good impression, so here y’all go! 😅😅

::

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I’m Ready.

y’all ever feel that chu can’t do something? ever? like your life doesn’t fit with said something. well, that’s how jey (josh) felt towards coco. his party animal life didn’t suit with coco’s dream life. for him, it was too settled.. too rushed. sure, he loved her but was he willing to risk freedom for her expectations? ↴↴

‼️ YALL DONT AND I MEAN DONT EVER USE, COPY, OR STEAL MY STUFF, REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED, FEEDBACK AND LIKES INCLUDED, AND ALL OCS ARE MINE. i dont own anything else (obviously except fictional events made by me) 😌 ‼️

*Not proof read

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(3rd person POV)

𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 (𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐱 𝐛𝐲 𝐒𝐲𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐞)

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Jones was getting ready to hop in the shower before she got a WhatsApp notification from her friend, Trinity (or some like to call her Naomi). Coco ignored the message, played her shower playlist and stepped into the shower. She closed her eyes and swayed her hips to the music as she felt the hot water comfortably burn down her skin.

She was really getting into it before her music stopped. What the heck? That question lingered in her head, not for long though as she heard her iPhone ringtone coming from her phone. Coco sighed as she looked through the glass mirror cover bit of her shower to see the contact name.

“WhatsApp call incoming: trintwin 💕💚”

The 5’10 woman felt as if to laugh. Is she serious? Coco waited for the ringing to end and her music to play, and it did just that. Around 20 minutes later, she stepped out and grabbed her towel to wrap around her slim, ebony body. Entering her room and drying off, Courtney went on her missed calls list, tapped on her friend’s name and calling her again. After one ring, Naomi picked up.

Here’s how that convo went:

T: GIRL, I BEEN CALLING YOU!

C: Chill, boo, I was in the shower. ‘nyways wassuh?

T: Yuh, uh-huh, anyways Jon’s going out and asked me to accompany him, I do wanna go but not without my girls. I texted and called Jade, Bianca, Nikki and Brie already, telling them to bring their mans but I can’t leave my fav out! So whatchu say?

Coco sucked her teeth and giggled a bit. They had only known each other for a month through mutual friends and with their busy schedule, they never really had the chance to hang out. Despite the fact that it is in a group, it would still be nice to catch up on things with her.

C: Nope, I’ve got no plans for the day and I desire to keep it like that, thanks though!

T: Oh, it wasn’t a question. Be ready by 8 later this night. Before you say anything, I do know that it is currently 11AM but I didn’t want to forget to ask you. Please come, it’s our day off, we both barely get those, and it’s time to let your guard down and relax with the girlies for a bit!

Trinity was a master at persuading people because after that, Coco had reluctantly agreed to her invite. She wasn’t going to lie, she was playing hard to get as she was feeling a tad bit excited to go out and enjoy herself for the night; she did have nothing to do after all.

( 𝗦𝗞𝗜𝗣 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗 𝗧𝗢 𝟳𝗣𝗠, 𝗖𝗢𝗖𝗢 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗚𝗢𝗧 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗜𝗡 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗜𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗗𝗢𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗘𝗥 𝗛𝗔𝗜𝗥 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗨𝗣 )

Coco was listening to her song, ICU, while doing her hair and makeup, until she received a text notification from Trinity. She stopped everything that she was doing to pick up her phone and take a look. Tutting, she picked the iPhone 14 pro up and took a look at what Trin had said.

‘Change of plans, we’re leaving in around 30 minutes, so you should probably start getting ready to leave. Sorry for the inconvenience!’

Coco dropped her phone down and sighed. This just annoyed her. She’s near the end of her makeup and doesn’t know what jewelry she was going to where. What perfume, what bag, shoes..

That was very important to her! Nevertheless, she had to round up what she was doing-so she quickly finished off her making, though making sure not to rush, found a cute purse to match with her CUTE outfit and of course had to finish off the look with some gold accessories and shoes. Adding a bit of her Clive Christian - X Feminine Perfume into the mix before she was set to go.

That must’ve taken around 45 minutes, but if they were to be disappointed it would be their fault for changing plans on such short notice.

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— AT THE CLUB —

Coco entered the club, immediately surrounded by the smell of booze and the sound of blasting music coming from the speakers that are seen to be nearly everywhere in the club.

(COCO’s POV)

The club stank of richness. I didn’t consider myself to be rich and famous, just upper-middle class and well-known. Most would disagree. Anyways, I looked around the club, searching for my friends. The bar…nope. I turned my head to the right and couldn’t see anybody. I looked to the left and saw a big group of people. Without thinking twice, I began to walk towards them until I realized they were complete strangers. I took my phone out from my purse and was going to text Trinity until I heard her forever cheerful voice.

“Girrrlll! You came! We all thought you was gon stand us up, come with me” Not giving me a chance to reply, she took me in her arms and lead me upstairs. I figured a bit ago that that kind of annoys me. I ignore it though, because that’s my homegirl! Dang, ian knew this place had an upstairs. I thought, mentally rubbing the back of my neck.

A few minutes later after walking through a closed off hallway, we arrived in front of a door that had two security in front of it and a label on the entry that ‘Door 13: V.I.P Only’. Taking a quick second to myself, I looked around and noticed that there were other VIP rooms around us. We stepped inside and I noticed everybody that was there.

(incoming wrestler’s stage names and real life partner’s names- mind yu, main characs in this story won’t be called by their real names)

Jon, Kofi, Xavier, Bianca, Montez, Jade, Brandon, Liv, Jordynne, Bayley and … JOSHUA?!

He looked up from his phone, staring at my surprised face in shock aswell. Oops, guess I said that out loud. I turned to Trinity and hit her playfully, my jaw still dropped. “Uh, trin! You ain’t never said anything about him being here!”

She shrugged and sat back down next to Jonathan. The others looked uninterested, everybody except from Bayley and Liv, the only females without a partner. Bianca and Jade were going to greet me but obviously I was busy and they were busy too, having deeps with their partners. Josh approached me and suddenly I tensed up.

“You look beautiful.” He complimented. “Thanks” I replied back. “Can we talk over there?” Joshua gestured to an empty space: the bar.

“Um, sure”

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OKAY, YALL? WHAT YALL THINK?? Mb, yall im not very good at English and i often get messed up with uk vs us words so yea.. anywayss, lmk what yu think? 💭 🩷‼️

[romsabombs]

malevolent 43 was insane so here are my notes. my live reactions while listening. enjoy :)

god i feel so sick already

EW AD☹️

okayyyy voices

is it kayne watching

oh god this again

hes way more dramatic this time i think

ermm??

yuck😨

omg queen!!! indeed queen💅💖

i have no idea whats going on

ohhh dang

IS HE GETTING CHAINED UP

im so nervous and scared and afraid

yorrick lore episode?? :3

ohhh yeahh he was the prince's skull

JOHNNNN🥳🥳🥳

omg yes talk to eachother!!! bond!

HAHA JOHN WHY ARE YOU TELLING HER ALL THIS

yesss KING AND QUEENNN

omg hastur he-who-is-not-to-be-named lord of carcosa thats the thing kayne said

OKAYYYYY 💅💅

WHO😐 HAHAAA💀💀

yesss you tell him girl!! they broke into YOUR house‼️

ohhh erm what😶

"i am the king in yellow" SHE DOESNT CARE JOHN

ermmmmmm erm erm uhh

i have no idea how to describe kingqueen relationship rn

"you are no god i have witnessed" "no. but i am a god" such good lines

she should read oscars note lol

LORE LORE LORE yess tell us about this world queen🎀

"and yet you moan on a table beneath my knife👹" okayyy shes vicious💅

YORRICK SNITCH

"my transition" okay🤨🏳️‍⚧️

yo i have no idea what's going on

she said i know what u are🤨

LILY MENTION LILY MENTION

👹LIES👹 girl we're having a moment

"you gained humanity as a prisoner" okayyy true hmmm..

gosh this is heavy

bestiary mentioned :))

her ass is NOT listening

i have no idea how to picture this scene in my head

ohh she was hurt by humans☹️ because her ass is a witch

two sides of the same coin

YOUR MOTHER? omg a name

arthur is straight up dead and we're doing the traumadumping hour

😀☹️😞 :( :( oh darling

mother darkness is my drag name

okay shes got a point tho🫡

YORRICK DONT HAHA shut up!!

oh!! :3

ermmm third wheeling over here

yorrick finally does something good (shuts the fuck up)

death for the undying⛓️💔

hell brings about the truth in people🔥🔥🔥 these lines go hard

im sure you did😒😒

can you believe this episode is 52 minutes long

imagine arthur laying on the floor family guy pose while all this emotional stuff is happening

BEDROCK RAAHHHH

"our" :3333

even the witch knows hes a child

"silent to all but those who can hear🗣️🗣️🗣️"

"i am not forgotten. not by him" :((

i remember you my king!! 🤓🥰

larson mansion arc throwback

"i saved him" erm you're the reason he went crazy in the first place

FUCK YOU👹 does she even know that word

john finally gets therapy not clickbait

ok shut up john my headphones are dying

ok we're back

"i tried to kill a man who i felt was in my way" 💀💀

HAHA SHES SO MEAN

okay now arthur is the child

dont go to the dark side pookie🙏

bro this shit is none of her business stay out of it

MY LOVE FOR ARTHURRREEE🥳🥳 WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!🔥‼️🗣️

ermm 😶 come on johnn🙏

arthur said i can fix him and then did!!

WOAHAHSHFHCBXNSN WHA😨😨

WOAHHHHH WHATATTTT QUEEN??

HAHAHA WHY DID YOU DO THAT

ERMMMMMMMM HES WHAT

😀😀HEAVY BREATHINGGG

OKAYYYYYYY JOHNN🥰🥰

RAHHHH👹👹👹 hes so sigma

yo what the hell is happening

😨😨😨😨HUH

this witch sure loves stabbing arthur

TRUEEE we r in her home!!

his ass is not really gone come on

do true loves kiss or whatever or like shed a tear and it'll land on him and he'll be alive again because magic

"🤢JOHN🤢" okayy rude🙄

mm yeah true why did you leave

😀john stay with us🙏🗣️ pretty pls

i miss arthurs voice its really nice

FRIEND MENTIONED like from s1 :3

HIS ASS ISNT GONE what would the show be without him bruh

jesus christ

NO NONONONOOO NO COME ON

🫣🫣 ermm 😶

man arthurs only purpose is to be a vessel huh :( :(

isn't john like bound to this body

what a mess :/ how will we fix this

girl u barely know him why do u care

"ignorant false morals" 😒girl

i wanna know what she thinks about the trolley problem

maybe don't listen to her she just murdered your boyfriend twice. thrice

GIRL YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HIM

shut up🙄 dont piss me off you killed my boy

ohh arthur i miss him already

erm john!!!! dont say allat😀

GOD DAMN IT we got so far man

hail to the king🗣️🗣️🗣️

NEW BODY??

ok now shes worshipping him😒

:( he says arthurs name so coldly. absolutely no emotion in his voice☹️

DONT TELL HER!!!!

ugh hes back to his kiy voice

im gonna kill myself actually

"think of the object you desire to find" imagine a rosetoy just appears

OH OH OH OH HAHA YEAHH HAHAA

this is awesome actually

faroes song goes hard

ohhh hes back :3

yorrick is so cutiepatootie

oh wait is he okay😨

OH NO

OH :3 HAHA YORRICK💀💀

insane episode

aye we cant save arthur without another deal with the devil i think

where's kayne when you need him

john this speech is embarrassing you're not an alpha wolf

john non binary arc🙏

..meaning??🧐

"i choose you. to be a part of you" ☹️ pokemon reference for a sec

yorrick embodiment of sillyness

yeah doll him up before reviving him

"your love for your friend" yorrick is so third wheeling

oh he feels human :3 i feel so sigma

cant we just let arthur stay dead let bro rest in peace he's been through enough

ARTHUR :33 WOAHHH😨😨

yeah i guess that musta hurt huh

yo is his ass okay😀😀

arthur is in Pain Painnn

ima have dreams about this one

[b1ueoff1ine]

I'll Be Home For Christmas

Professor!Otto x Reader

Prompt/Summary: You're boarding at a school overseas, and most students are going home for the holidays. You can't afford the trip, so you've decided to stay despite the fact that you miss your family. A charming man who happens to be teacher at the school invites you to join him and his family for Christmas. During the break, you relearn what Christmas, and love, are all about from a new perspective.

Warnings: Age Gap. Angst. Fluff. (let me know if I missed any!)

A/N: any one wanna be tagged in part two? also the gif- the background I'm imagining as a chalkboard so it makes sense.

WC: 777

_

"I know, I know, honey, but it's what we've got to deal with. You can make it through break without us." Your father's voice came through the phone.

"But-"

Your father cut you off. "No buts. We dont have the funds, you don't have the funds. You've just got to deal with it."

"Fine." You sighed in frustration, hanging up the phone.

You weren't going to be able to see your boyfriend this Christmas, nor your family. Despite how much you wished you could return to the US, you didnt have the funds for flying overseas. You were stuck in London for the holidays.

No one could guess you were from America. You had lived in the UK for years, the surrounding peoples influencing your accent. You visited your family every summer and winter break, it had become something very important to you.

That was why you were so bummed. And a few years ago was when you met your then soon-to-be-boyfriend who you felt an instant connection with.

But that didn't matter now- you couldnt go home and see him.

You felt like crying. You wanted to. But there was other students in the hall with you. So you headed to your dorm.

You arrived to your roommate's side halfway cleared out, them exiting the room with their suitcases in one corner.

"You get to go home? I thought you were staying here." You scoffed in frustration.

"Hey, I didnt know it was happening until this morning. Dont get angry at me." She replied, eyeing you with concern. "Relax, we still have classes today. I'm not leaving you yet."

"Fine." You said reluctantly.

You had every class with your roommate, which was nice.

You went to your first class of the day and suffered through it. The students next to you were a couple, and they were kissing and cuddling like you used to with your boyfriend in the US.

It made you so upset, you snapped at them. "Pay attention!"

"Ugh, fine." The girl looked and sounded disgusted that you were speaking to her.

The rest of the day was torture. You literally had almost every class with that same couple and they were distracting as hell. When it got to your last class of the day, the day before break, you were pissed at them.

"Shut up and pay attention!" You snapped.

The girl looked disgusted again.

"Thank you, miss L/N for reprimanding those two. I was starting to get annoyed." The professor spoke to you, but angled the annoyance towards the couple- specifically the girl.

Her disgusted expression turned to a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"Pfft." You stiffled a small laugh.

The professor smiled. "Now, miss L/N, care to tell us what you are going to be doing over the holidays? We might as well start with you."

You nodded and stood. "I wish I could go back to the US, but neither my family nor I had the funds to do so. So I am staying here to explore the parts of the UK that I have not yet seen." You finished and sat down, leaning back in your seat.

It was the last class of the year before break, yet it seemed to last forever. Student after student talked about going home for the holidays and spending time with their loved ones.

You sighed as the bell finally rang. It was so unfair that everyone got to go home and you couldn't.

You were just about to leave the classroom when you heard the professor call your name.

"Miss L/N, a word please."

You heard a few students 'oo' and 'aw' thinking you were in trouble. But you knew better than that.

"Yes, Professor Octavius?"

He waited until all students had exited the room. "I couldn't help but feel sorry for you for not being able to see your family this winter break. If there is anything I can do to help, let me know."

"All I need is the funds. But I dont want to ask for them- that would be rude of me."

"Oh, dont worry about that, dear. I'd be glad to help."

"Thanks for the offer, but I meant what I said about exploring London."

"If your sure." He said in a slightly concerned tone.

"Although, it would be nice to have some company on my adventures." You said aloud, forgetting where you were for a moment.

"You know, my family ventures around the UK every Winter break. I'm sure they wouldn't mind a small addition to that tradition." Professor Octavius chirped, a warm smile on his face.

"I dont want to intrude-"

He was persistent. "Please, dear, I insist."

__

[kasaneteto]

things that have been on my mind recently:

1) i miss the posting format of twitter. well i guess not the posting so much as the following format. the posting aspect is not that different from tumblr i just miss having a private space to ramble, because tumblr is much more anyone-can-see-it. private instagrams arent the same. passworded blogs arent the same either cuz iirc those posts dont show up on your dash so thats more like screaming into a void. fuck you elon musk for taking away my safe space 🖕 it has been nice to talk more with people i wasn’t seeing on twitter tho. so im glad about that at least. its also VERY nice to not have a character limit

2) i use romantic relationships as a crutch in my life which is why theyve all turned out the way they have. or at least part of it. i need to have a relationship that moves slowly but ive never had that. every relationship ive ever had was like, jumping head first into the deep end. there was no build up or anything it was just “i like you” “i like you too” “okay we are dating now” and then i spend all day every day with that person until i get tired of them and the relationship. its fucked up!!!! i don’t want to be like that!!!! i have no idea when ill be ready for a new relationship but when i am i need to be pickier. i need to go for someone who’s exactly my type. because i also need to learn how to be independent and im still learning that. but once im independent enough to start dating again i need to wait for the perfect person to come into my life & then throw everything at them. (had a whole long thing describing my type here that i cut bc i dont want anyone to think im describing them and get weird in my dms. idk i attract desperate weirdos like flies so im being careful leave me alone) and who knows how long it will take to find someone like that! could take forever! anyways ive gone way off the rails here but the point im trying to make is that im perfectly content waiting for the perfect person to come into my life because i need to be focused on myself right now anyways.

3) i do very poorly with guilt & feeling like ive upset someone important to me. especially if the upset feels justified to me. my brain tends to rationalize my behavior for me by thinking things like “thats a weird thing to be upset by” or something when like. that doesn’t matter. maybe this is a normal thing to do but i wish guilt didnt consume me the way it does. even after ive apologized and the person has forgiven me im still so guilt ridden that it makes me depressed. its so weird. i don’t understand it at all. its something i gotta talk to my therapist abt. thats why im writing all of this down anyways is so ill remember what i wanna talk to her abt this week lol

[fraener]

11/24/24

took the day off work to make room for the incredible night i had last night. was at the cast party at j's house and it was so wonderful. everyone was having so much fun and the house was so huge and weird and full of wonderful interesting things...we were singing and laughing and chatting. some of the c.b cohort was there, everyone was so nice to me and so normal about me(except r of r+a but i ignored him. feels amazing to simply pretend i dont notice and also to decide not to engage. he even stole my joke and redid my karaoke song from s's birthday to try and get my attention i think! a really cute girl told me if i wanted to do it again shed cheer for me like it hadn't been done before in the night which was very sweet of her) p and j sitting with me on the couch, the comfort of knowing i am not just liked but also cared about and not for any reason other than im enjoyable company and fun to get on with. its been a long time since i felt really and truly liked, i have a lot of strained or unnatural feeling interactions most of the time where a weird amount of pressure is being put on an insufficient bond. its really nice to be getting to know these folks at the natural pace and to enjoy each other's company and play. right now in bed nursing my exhausted body and listening to c play accordion in the studio. thinking about baking a cake though im sure i wont get to it today, but i want meyer lemon and cardamom and poppy and coriander with goat cheese. maybe star anise as well, maybe not. hips and ankles and all are very sore i shouldve taken a bath. also dreaming of my linen underwear and making good progress on my socks. i wonder if ill get done with all this by christmas, probably not considering the amount of free time i have. well. i think ive discovered again that socializing is very good for me when its with the right people and there truly is nothing wrong with being discerning in who i spend time with. some people give you energy, some people take it away. i think i recognize now that s+c take energy, p+s give. im gonna miss those guys so much when they leave town. el is getting all settled in so hopefully ill visit with her soon. wanna get the house in order and keep feeling this kind of happiness. seeing people out in the world and interacting with the people you like opens your life up to you like nothing else. everything is feeling possible.

[ambrosialdesire]

Dont worry for rantingg ambro, i get that.

Idk if u want my opinion on ur friends but ive been in ur shoes but most of my friends are in relationships and they still talk to me and even for small stuff like with tiktoks and stuff. They never like leave me hanging with their partners and if they do i know which ones. Trust me Ive been there with the your always single but it is different because its more in an uplifting way because my friends fall hard like horrifically hard over people. Im sorry your friends aren’t treating you very good right now. Especially with the aroace thing because thats a little shitty ngl… especially if they know that u struggle with it. But then again i dont know ur dynamics soo :3

ARCANE IS SOO FUCKING GOOD. I could never play influenced to play League it looks not appealing to me personally.

-🌷

that's good you have amazing friends like that, i think it's just my own perception of the whole thing with that particular group of friends or that i miss what the group was before all the dating but idk i've been hopeful it'll return back to what it was even with the dating, but all those mfs are still in honeymoon phases or something 😒 /hj

NO IT IS SHITTY I WON'T LIE, i'm so sick of hearing "you'll join us soon" or "you just need to be more confident" or "you need to put yourself out there" LIKE NO BRUH, I'M TRYING TO FOCUS ON MY STUDYING GRIND AND THE MEN SHOULD BE COMING TO ME ANYWAYS 😒😒 /hj nah but i'm really tired of hearing shit like that and i know sometimes it's jokes, but can any of the conversations be anything but about dating or relationships, like can we talk about stupid silly shit like before ☹️ ik their partners are important to them to maintain contact with and keep up, but what about our friendship too? it's frustrating AND I CAN'T BE EVEN BE ON A CALL WITH ONE OF THEM WHEN WE GAME EVERY FEW MONTHS OR SO WITHOUT HAVING THE PARTNER BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PHONE, LIKE CMON YOU CAN'T STAND EVEN JUST A FEW HOURS OF NOT BEING ON THE PHONE WITH THEM??? and i can really tell when they don't want to keep hanging out with me even when we plan out how long we'll play, so either i cut the hangout short or they do sometimes.

my friends are great, they're very near and dear to me and i will always want what's best for them, but very much recently, i've been feeling real bitter about being left behind; it's kinda making me feel incomplete in a way, something i haven't felt in a while prior to my aromantic identification and i don't wanna like rush to find someone cause i don't want to regret my first relationship and i don't want to hurt that person's feelings once i realize that i rushed a relationship yk? BLAH i hate it LMAO

anyways arcane has such a nice art style ngl, riot fucking EATS with the animation cause the valorant animations are one of my favorites since i used to play that before my laptop's storage couldn't keep up with the updates, ESP when they involve omen. my mains were killjoy (MY ABSOLUTE GOAT), viper, omen, kay/o, fade, skye, and sage. i sucked at the duelists cause i never was good at doing the main confrontations, i enjoyed doing all the background support stuff instead hehe AND i actually tried out league before cause of an old friend, but i never was into the whole gameplay cause i could barely see the character and the whole thing was insanely confusing even with tutorials, so i quit after a day LMAO

ty but i'd rather stick to my open world games, otome games, and fps games with blinding ults and skills 😋

[domjaehyun]

i couldn’t resist and i know you deserve it so i subscribed to patreon and finished tbim in one sitting at work 🙂‍↕️ (+bonus part!!! 💗)

can i just say it again but you’re really my favorite nct author here 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ the last parts were intense and i just wanna say…. DESERVE 🫳🏼 i don’t wanna spoil other people but i guess it justified the ending (although of course what they did is still wrong WRONG) but it was the best decision for all, instead of prolonging the pain and situation.

honestly, i felt bad for all of them. they all deserve so much better. the four of them deserves to love and be loved. it’s just that the circumstances were not in their favor and they were entangled with each other’s poor decisions. the most painful here would be oc and wn’s relationship though, friendship breakups are the worst cuz i hoped oc would be a girl’s girl (i know she tried but she didn’t try enough! hahaha)

it was also nice to see hc’s side in the bonus part. i know he’s the main problem here and i don’t want to justify what he did but yeah, i get where he’s coming from. it’s really hard to push yourself to love someone when you genuinely don’t feel anything about them at all even if you tried. but i guess he could’ve handled the situation better, well that’s his character though. sometimes he just doesn’t think. 😓

overall, you wrote tbim in a very beautiful way. love how you portrayed all the characters and their dilemmas in a way that got me thinking what would i do in a similar situation. we’re all humans and we make mistakes but morals should be above always. (i’m still into hyuck tho lmaooo) i’ll be adding this to my fave hc library! ���� thank you for writing 🙏🏼

ps. i love all your haechan fics 🫂💗 thank you for your service!!!!!! i will miss tbim ☹️ (i’ll reread again and still wait for the next parts here tho lmao) ugh i’ll miss sending my reactions here but i prolly would send more in the future 😆

EEEEEE OMG OKAY HERE I GO

firstly; THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUBBING IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME :’) ONE SITTING IS IMPRESSIVE I LOVE THAT FOR YOU OMG

omg…….pookie………. that’s so sweet thank you so much and yeah i tried to make the ending as realistic as possible while eliminating unnecessary mess yknow? TBH? I FEEL WORSE FOR JENO HE DIDN’T DESERVE THAT……. winter was lowkey inconsiderate and had a hand in haechan pulling back and MC messed around with him knowing he had a girlfriend (that was her friend no less) BUT JENO DID NOTHING WRONG JUSTICE FOR JENO!!!!!!!

I’M GLAD YOU APPRECIATED THE BONUS CONTENT OMG yeah i really wanted to clarify why he didn’t leave her from the jump bc tbh i myself did not understand this was one of those instances where i just blanked out and started typing and the answers started coming out and i was like OHHHHHHH OKAY I GET IT NOW. it rly is hard to do that i have tried and failed :/ multiple times actually :/

thank you so much omg IM SO HAPPY YOU THINK IT’S BEAUTIFUL :’) im not gonna lie to you…….im gonna keep it a buck…………….. i don’t think my morals are all that strong about some things . LIKE A LIL BIT DON’T CANCEL ME BUT I GOTTA PUT ME FIRST SOMETIMES 😭 maybe i am selfish but ykw i dont care :/ if i dont look out for me who will 🤨 anyway moving on hehe THANK YOU SO MUCH youre very welcome for writing it !!! it was my pleasure :)

p.s. thank you hehehe i love haechan if that wasnt obvious :P YOU CAN ALWAYS SEND YOUR REACTIONS I LOVE READING PEOPLE’S FEEDBACK it fuels me to write more :D

[renewingagain]

monday 17 june 2024 // 11:12pm

hi

im ok, i dont feel amazing i feel a bit lonely atm. i feel like im isolating my self a bit

i think again it is just the familiarity of being in sheffield every day and being in the same place every day. i am going to spain in two weeks which ive actually booked so to be honest i am mega excited!

i think i just need to scratch this itch of wanting a new start and moving on with my life

but as i write that i feel a sense of uncomfort for a couple reasons

why cant i just be happy where i am? i am safe, i am well, im earning an ok amount, i actually somewhat have money in the bank for once which never happens (although i need to be careful with that as i've noticed that i only have 3 paychecks left before i dont get paid again if i really do leave my job and sheffield in august)

loneliness and not having intimate company. me and benjamin still havent spoken since he 'dumped' (for lack of a better term) me a few weeks ago. i have realised that life really is about these connections you have with people and the people you meet. at least, it is for me any way. i remember when alex used to say 'im content in life but i just want someone to share things with' and i actually really feel that. its true! i can have all these nice things and experience nice things but at the end of the day i really do just want to talk to someone about them and share those things with them.

part of point no. 2 is silly though, i do have people around me. my aunt called me earlier today just to ask me if i was going to dublin, they invited me there, they obviously want me to come! its nice that i was thought of. people do message me and ask me how i am etc. i do have friends. may be it is the intimacy i am lacking specifically.

i enjoyed time with benjamin so much and im ngl he sooooo had the potential to be a partner. i wish i met him next year and not this year. i wonder though, if i miss him this much then he must miss me too. maybe he is hurting. may be he is not! who knows. i wish i knew what he was thinking and feeling. but then maybe he wishes he knew what i was thinking and feeling

i just wanna be loved by a sexy sexy man who will treat me good too. i have so much love to give. i wanna love someone unashamed

[salaciousslut]

Youre making me blush 🫣 now i gotta get strong enough to lift up a full grown adult its only right ☺️ and good! Im glad its not too cold!! Tho it sucks you cant get all dolled up in your winter clothes :( where im at we dont have much humidity so its been real cold for those born and raised here (i have been freezing tbh)

You have no clue how needy that made me, please bite me and leave marks everywhere holy fuck <3 and jesus christ youre so precious, like i feel a bit evil for the things i wanna do to you 🥺

Well! I hate to say it but if i get you drunk enough to pass out I'll still force my strap in you. But don't worry on missing out, you'll get a video of it anyways 🥰 I'll make sure you'll see how nice my cock looks in your pussy <33 only thing that sucks is that i cant cum in your pretty passed out body and i want to so fucking badly 🫣

Im also a floor person!!! Its actually so smart that you have a lil nook for yourself, like im jealous i didnt have that idea 😭 do u name your stuffed animals?? I wanna know bc I do >:3

I love that crocheting has become stress relief for you!! I like when creative outlets are also emotional ones like that makes me happy. You got a practical skill that also helps you out i am looking at you with love in my eyes and admiration in my heart 🥰

Tbh my favorite part of the day was getting back home, my job is literally so boring!! As for my intrests im a huge dork tbh. I love video games and Hades is my favorite game at the moment. Im also a huge animation buff, i love anything animated from short films on youtube to anime to fucking BoJack Horseman (i love that show, and u can kill me for that). And i also have strange interests like theology, religion is just so interesting to me. Oh and last lil fun fact abt me that i can think of: I almost went to college to double major in psychology and comp sci.

nooooo let me keep you warm then!!! im like w lil toaster oven with how warm i get. some come over!!! but i feel you! im not meant for the cold.

i loveeee evil!! i support evil!! i love being a chew toy and repaying the gift!!

ughhhhh please i would watch that video over and over again!!! plus i wanna watch it with u hehehe!!and we can try hard babe because its gonna happen, we gonna get u to cum in me dont worry. scientists will figure it out. ill figure it out!!

come to my nook then hehehe!! i can fit one more person!! and no i dont name them. im sooo baf with names so i just stick to their official government names. but now i wanna know the names of your stuffed animals!!

omg what if i told u i loveeeee watching other people play video games?? its literally my fav pass time and i just really like all the graphics without actually having to put in effort to try and win. so i feel like that goes hand in hand with animation right?? idk i just love visuals sm but i love that u love them!

omg sooo cool! religion is such an interesting topic so i would totally listen to u with heart eyes too!!

hehe i love psych!!! i have a psych minor and those were some of my fav classes!! i wanna teach u about them now

[lostacelonnie]

Hell yeah! Mood every time i go to a beach i always miss her after. I will keep my fingers crossed for your return on another trip. Oh those are all so good. Im especially a fan of churros & empanadas. I should get paella again sometime. That is a very mismatched group but i respect the vibe based friendship. Also reminds me i should get back to finishing mag archives thats a good podcast. Also been meaning to look into goth music to see what thats all about. The peak goal of adhd people. To rember. High luck stat to not be attacked by gulls. I think i got a tad bit there too because ive never been attacked by them but like. You can see the simple minded desire in their eyes. Especially if you have food. Damn best of luck to her. Thats like people tellin me they moved to florida, where the gators climb over fences often. Group chat for geo teacher fans that is amazing. Love that for yall. Oh there's one thing xabi & i share as i too do not know whats goin on so often. Thanks! I only hope i have enough but i think sw is in the back half so i can save even more pulls than i have. Probably will have to pass her light cone up like i did for seele's til next time. Meta can leave i dont care for it i use who i want when i want this is an anti meta zone. Oh? Im not sure. What to ask about them. Like i wanna know more of their role in the story of honkai i guess. What happens to them & all that. Welt seems to have history with otto/luocha. & himeko is my coffee lovin mom character i like her a lot. We love a girl who keeps complex machinery like the express working. Skirk showed up so briefly at the end of the archon quest but damn if it wasnt funny. Yeeting childe out of the abyss & just lore dropping on us all. I think i saw you played the story quest & learned about furina? I think it was uh. Durandal's jp va that she shared with skirk i cant remember cant wait to see if she becomes playable though. Oh damn really? The range is insane indeed what a queen. Oooh congrats! I also got her & had enough for her weapon next is navia but i might only have enough for her & try for her weapon later. Since arlecchino is a few updates out. Im not yet at a world level where relics matter but same. Not the best luck on that yet. 7 am exam? That should be illegal but i wish you luck on your studies. Especially with feelin a bit sick trying to study while sick is awful. Ooooh nice! Such a fun & good series. I just got the fifth volume last week & finally had time to finish it. Quickly became a favorite for me. Now if only i had time to read everything else im behind on.

FOR REAL FOR REAL ive never been much of a sea person but ahh this is such a universal experience... and thankies!!! while i could never Live in spain permanently [hot and everyone tries to talk to you] i did end up becoming quite fond of the country. GOD YEAH CHURROS ARE SOO GOOD generally speaking i like ALL spanish food. banger after banger after banger. need to learn how to cook some because i miss it so bad. but i DID manage to not fuck up scrambled eggs when i made them for the first time ever recently so thats a good sign for my culinary abilities id say. anyway IT IS AJDKKFJF but i vibe with them so its chill. ah nice!! im terrible with podcasts [can never quite concentrate on them.....] but i wanna listen to it Someday since i heard only good things ab it. also good luck luck with that!! i like goth music as in i think its Good and i generally enjoy it if i happen to hear it but its also sth i just Do Not listen to in my free time. i respect it tho. coming back YEAH AJSKDKFK I WAS JUST. observing the gulls the whole time but surprisingly nobody from my class was attacked ajdjfkgjs. and ill pass on the message when i talk to her next time AJKSLJFJG i really Do wonder what even prompted her moving there sometimes. i believe it was her boyfriend but also she changes those as often as clothes so she must Really like this guy, i guess. good for her tho shes my coolest sibling. and thanks SHJDKFKA were really devoted to her. also ive been accused of simping for her by the ice skater which is extremely funny because this is not even the first time ive been accused of being into a 30-40 y/o woman by someone at school [ITS ALL CHILL BTW its just for the shits. still. attacked and slandered!]. and same ajdkfjgj tho in his role its actually Quite Annoying for my class since like. we NEED to get things done sometimes and he just. does not do that. like literally our english teacher [who also looks like shes constantly dead inside and hates her job but we love her] did more to help us with this one thing than he did even tho she did not have to do that in any capacity. shes just epic. AHH GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!! i love ignoring meta sooooo much which might sound weird from someone who spends half his life grinding for stuff in honkai but its true. honkai is literally the only game where i care about meta and thats bc honkai meta is UNFORGIVING. but hey at least the gacha is much better with the 100 pulls guarantee for each char + 50 pull guarantee for gear pieces. IM NOT VERY GOOD WITH OTTO LORE TO BE ENTIRELY HONEST as in i know quite a lot of it but it hasnt quite Clicked in my head BUT IM ALWAYS HAPPY TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS AB THEM YOU MAY HAVE [<- GUY WHO IS SOO SO NORMAL]. AND YEAH SKIRK IS SO FUCKIGN FUNNY TO ME like the way she was previously described painted her as just so strong and intimidating but her speech pattern is so funny to me shes so chill. i feel like i could meet her smoking her evening cig and shed tell me where to pirate shit. id do a polish joke here but it is literally untranslatable without a 30 minute long backstory so nevermind. AND OOOOOH EPIC ALSO RIGHT?????? i respect voice actors above anyone else. ahh good luck getting navia!!!!!! i was Planning to pull for her but im much less efficient at grinding rn since i got a screentime limit due to having fucked up eyes [which im Not following btw but i am trying to touch grass a little bit more at least] [this is also the reason why i responded so late im sorry the change kinda threw me out of the loop]. ah understandable i was. well not Very high but enough to have trouble without decent gear so yeah. good luck in the future farming tho!! AND RIGHT I AGREE tho honestly the alternative would be an exam at like FOUR PM which is actually Worse imo. i personally function pretty well during my 7am classes and learned to enjoy them [public transport is very charming early in the morning..... i get to catch the sunrise sometimes] but that is also because i live like maybe 40 minutes away from my school. so i get up at around 6 am to get to school.

[ignore the random paragraph break i hit the character limit JSJFIGKJSWIJF] some of my classmates, however, have to get up at 4 am which. respect i could never. anyway thanks!!! the exam went quite well actually hehehe im doing much better in history than i thought. im becoming a nerd along with my entire friend group. every single day someone has new historical memes to share and theres already some inside jokes as well. fun. AND AHHHHHH THATS SO EPIC!!!!!!! i love this series sososoososooso much even tho i didnt have time to start the 3rd volume yet... however i DID read a translation of the "she's so cheeky for a commoner!" web novels and im about to read the light novel so im quite excited for that. first and only loretta and pipi fan ever.....

[thegeminisage]

ok, i decided to bank on the main quest sending me up to the highlands eventually. i'm here on the road so like...let's fuckin do it

that being said, i don't have any sun food...lemme see if i have anything i can cook first lol

wow my meals are full <3 so i ate a speed up thingy and made one (1) space for a chillshroom thing. good thing i have plenty of portable pots.......

oh wow. i really did start swaying with heat exhaustion the second i stepped into the canyon. damn.

man i love this already. the shade and caves makes it better but i bet at night we swing the other way. it's ncie because i don't have sand killing my movement speed yet lol

yoooo there's a guy trapped in here! i'll rescue you bud

oh this is one of the people who went missing i think!

yo my man addison is out here even...also swaying in the heat lol. i hope he gives me useful food 😭

ooh he did

omg no way there are real tumbleweeds rolling around lol

i found FAIRIES!!! in this well. but theyre all flying so high it's hard to catch them...i got 2 at least :/

aaand i pop out into the cold. at least i have armor for this, tho i'm sad to take off my oot gear

DAMN i forgot to get extra fans and there's a korok here who needs transport!!!! sometimes the game provides you with that sort of thing but Not Here. This Is The Desert

spend zonaite, or leave the korok behind...?

option 3! just carry him! there was a place with like stairsteps that it was possible to climb. thank fuck.

YOOOO ITS FAROSH...I DONT HAVE ANY FAROSH PARTS YET.......girl come down here 😭

i'm not gonna spend zonaite. not even for this. it's for the battery.

besides, the reason i don't have any farosh parts yet is bc i don't have the entire rubber armor set...she would chew me up and spit me out

well, i found a falling block to use recall on and got close enough to get a scale :/ i really need a claw but i'll take it

oh wow. the road really did become a river. wtf...

aaand it's hot again!! damn.

this fucking shrine quest with the laser and the crystal...i just wanted a fast travel point!!

oh i found another guy! worth it then

"i could kiss ya right now" 🏳‍🌈

aaah and the music comes in...nothing like the OG gerudo valley but still nice to hear

there's a fan and a control stick here...not enough for a bike BUT enough to build a little raft <3

passing up a couple of caves :/ because i wanna get to the mouth of the river before i abandon my boat. i'll go back for them soon but it's Bothering me

found it!

oh shit i went up the waterfall to look better and when i came down i saw a yiga statue.........it's almost time for them ig

peeked on the map (sorry) and there's a hideout here but i can't find it. i wonder if the story will send me back here...

ok BACK 2 thecave i missed

SICK?? theres a sand waterfall in here

aw i found the last guy! very good. i'm not going back rn tho. it took too long to get here!! i think my lookout tower is close and then i can go anywhere i want

god i really do love that you can just vaporize ice enemies with fire fruit. i have like 200 of them i love when things are easy

awww a cherry tree out here...very good <3 i did finally look those up and while they are handy, they become kind of useless if you're cheating with an interactive map lol

unlocked the map...........only one tower left to go

I Can See The Last Geoglyph From Here. i gotta calm down lol

I SEE FAROSH!!!!!! girl i gotta have that claw. girl. girl. girl

GOT IT AND CAUGHT IT IN MIDAIR! FUCK yes.

i landed a little ways from where i started...trying to decide on going back to get the caves and seeds i missed or pushing forward. wow something for future liz to figure out tonight

[raiiieny]

Was going through my notes and man the duality of my emotions over time :vvv

Gonna leave them here cause i dont wanna loose em *my phone has 0 space* lmao

I miss my lover

But when i saw him for the last time i knew he wasn’t the one i fell in love with. My lover was sweet to me.. cared about my feelings… but now he was just indifferent. His ego got him and he didn’t think twice to abandon me…honestly i knew that but i wanted to test him. I wanted him to prove me wrong.. yet…guess what..saw tinder in his phone and that also explains so many things.. i miss him being nice to me… making me feel wanted, loved… i miss our happy moments but i knw for sure he was not the one when i was deleting all the pics I honestly was doing him a favour. Remembering sad and not so great memories would help us get over each other but the happy ones? They’ll make us feel miserable. I dont have those pics but i have the memories. Which honestly led me to writing this.…*You*.. if you ever read this… trust me i loved you and a part of me idk still misses you..But you pushed me away. You are not mine anymore. A huge part of me wants to forgive you.. wants to see you happy wants to forget everything you did to me but i’d be betraying my self. Moving on isn’t easy especially when ik that my love meant nothing to you..

I feel like i lost someone important to me and honestly i miss you … but what about you? Do you miss me? Or do you feel that i am an horrible person?.. do you feel i harassed you? I was rude? Then what about the past 8 months? Was i not enough back then? if u feel like that.. hah… it further proves you never cared ..

You saw my tumblr posts of how hurt i was yet you didn’t even budge.. you let your ego win. But all these time I sacrificed mine. This one time i tested you. I hoped that you’ll come to me and say “bristy i am sorry please just wait for me a lil bit love i’ll fix this. We can fix this” . You never did. You pushed me away .. i just hope one day you’ll realise what you did. Why you lost me.. i just hope one day you’ll feel sorry for your actions.

Will that day ever come? Idk.. one day i will move on. I just hope i that dont make the same mistake twice. Love made me so vulnerable that i got hurt like this. You asked me that if my therapist said anything about my family….

She made me realise why i am like this. Why i crave for love and attention.. its cause of my inner child issues. I lacked emotional support as a child. That made me how i am today.. You made me feel heard that’s the reason i fell for you. And when you pushed me away stopped caring about me..thats the reason i started to fall outta love.. as simple as that.

Idk if we can ever be friends again.. maybe one day if we do acknowledge our mistakes maybe… dekha jak ki hoi

Note from 13th match 2023 ^

Note from 23rd march 2023 v

You dont have the right to say “i love you” or “i loved you” no . YOU DONT. You never loved me. If you did you wouldn’t have hurt me. You wouldn’t make me suffer. You wouldn’t neglect me cause people don’t neglect their loved ones. All you cared about your self and your ego. You give your self and your friends the bare minimum and you couldn’t even give that to me. You say i hurt you, i was rude to you and I harassed you. THINK AGAIN. YOU HURT ME FIRST. You made ME feel suffocated. For 7 freaking months. You WERE RUDE TO ME COUNTLESS TIMES when i just confronted you shutting my feelings i become the rude person?? Wow. I never let my ego win. I stayed. Told you to act right. But now that I finally stopped i became the new villain. Geeee great. YOU DONT DESERVE TO UTTER THE WORDS OF LOVE. You never did. you reap what you sow so dont play the innocent victim cause you are not. Im done babysitting you. It hurt me 1000 times more to leave you but

Why should i waste my time love care affection and suffer pain when the person doesn’t even give me the bare minimum. The respect? In the end you accused me of things you did. I knew you would do that someday but I wished i was wrong. You proved me right. You made me experience hell on earth. So you dont even deserve anything. You couldn’t even handle/ keep a person like me. So good luck being with someone and news flash you are the problem. Dont ever say that you loved me cause you never did. You loved feeling better because of me. You never loved me. Oh and plus you also cheated on me so YEAH

Before the year of 2023 i prayed so that i can make the right decision and allah removes people who are not good for me and my future. Well this outcome is the biggest evidence that my dua got accepted. Play the victim you narcissist. Cause thats who you are.

[the-pinstriped-hood]

The Talk

(Ava is @slaasherslut not my OC)

Percy Jones had no drive to write today. Her hands were sore and staring at her computer just made her sad she had made enough progress for the week. Why not take a day off? The sky outside was bleak and cloudy, Bo still had gone to the garage. She needed a change in clothing to take the edge off and hauled herself up to change. Her walk in closet was filled with many things mostly because she shared it with her boyfriend. Digging through his pajamas she came across a large pair of grey sweatpants with tie string. She climbed out of her heels, out of her skirt and stockings and into those pants. Looking in the mirror she knew she needed to coordinate and decided to raid Bo's clothing, finding a worn ACDC shirt and a ratty black jacket. She even tossed off her bra for good measure and let down her hair. She couldn't help herself and teased her hair with her hands a little. She looked like a college bum. Good. Take a day off from looking nice too.

Someone knocked at the door and Percy looked over. "Door's open!"

Ava poked her head inside. "You texted?"

"Sure did." The Novelist got off the couch and her sister feigned a gasp at her clothing choices. "Percy Jones? Did you lose your job? Did hell freeze over miss prissy pants?"

Percy laughed. "Charming as usual, Bunny. No, I did NOT lose my job. It is my day off and I don't wanna dress nice so sue me." She ended with playfully sticking out her tongue. Both of them laughed.

The pair went to the kitchen as Percy prepared her sister her Americano. Ava leaned against the counter, watching her with deep interest. She had definitely used one of these before.

"How do you want yours sissy, hot or iced?"

" Iced please!"

"Little lady wants it iced.." she began grabbing the ice and the cute cups she bought for the espresso machine.

"You know I never get to use this for Bo? Him and Lester are what I refer to as coffee purists. Black coffee, straight no cream, no sugar, no shots."

Ava loved her baby but. "you mean Wrong."

"yes but we should respect their decision to be wrong. Thank god at least one Sinclair doesn't mind coffee. I should take some over for Vincent later. I kinda owe him for trashing him in Scrabble the other night."

The pair thought back to when the silent artist foolishly challenged a well read well versed Novelist to a game of Scrabble.

Bo was more than happy to see his younger brother lose after so many games lost to him. The girls laughed.

"Vinny was so pissed…."

"What word did you use to set him off?"

"Oxyphenbutazone. Fished me a cool 1,778 points if I remember correctly."

The coffee maker beeped and Percy set back to work again.

Macavity hopped up on the counter and Ava scratched his head. "There we are! One Iced Americano."

The girls retreated to the couch, leaving on a movie but barely paying attention, too busy chatting to eachother about random topics. "Third Cylinder in the Benatar isnt firing. I really need to have it looked at but I dont wanna leave the house."

"Can't you just text Bo?"

"Nope. Too lazy."

Ava was surprised at her Elder sisters demeanour. "You really are relaxed right now aren't you?" Looks q11q

"Mmhm."

Silence.

Percy sat forward. "You don't have a car, I've always found that strange."

"I don't really mind it, I like riding with Lester plenty."

"But if you could have your own car, what would it be?"

Ava's smile fell, a pregnant pause. "My dad before he passed, was working on one for me. A 1966 Plymouth Barracuda. Cherry Red…..my mom sold it."

Percy was shocked. "Sold it?!? What!!! Why????"

Ava explained what happened on that bleak day.

Percy held her younger sister as she retold her story, crying all over again.

"Nobody should have to go through what you went through." Percy wound her fingers though Ava's hair. "I don't understand why people have the capacity to hurt people out of envy or spite. I take it Lester told you about what happened to their Parents?"

The blonde nodded silently.

"I honestly don't blame the boys for doing it. They did what they thought they had to. All that abuse stacks up and it boils over into something violent."

More silence. "Why don't you stay the night? I'm sure Mia would be happy to have her Aunt stay over. I'm sure Lester would understand."

Ava nodded, wiping her tears. "I'd like that."

Tag: @rottent33th @kalid-raven @bluecoolr-main @probably-a-plant-thing @damien-mlm @angxlslasher @slasherscrybaby @texaschainsawslvt @allthingsblood @ajarofpickledtears

[babyboibucky]

Should’ve Known Better

Pairing: EB!Frank x Reader

Summary: You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, FWB set-up, a little bit of toxic shit, angst

A/N: Frank got the most votes when I asked which other Seb character I should write for, so here it is! This is very personal to me lmfao it’s somewhat based on my own experience that really fucked me up a couple of years ago aksncajscna no but for real, stay away from the friends with benefits kind of relationship if you can’t keep shit purely sexual lmao also some guys are just fucking assholes even if they’re your friend lol

ALSO, I tagged those who are in my Everything Bucky Tag List. I’m not sure if I’ll write more Frank in the future too so I won’t be creating a separate tag list for him yet.

MAIN MASTERLIST

"Do you love me?"

It was a simple question that was supposed to make you think. Given your experiences and your personality in general, you were supposed to cringe and ignore it. Maybe even make a joke out of it, especially that it was Frank who was asking you this question.

He wasn't supposed to ask it too. He wasn't one to ask such thing, not especially with the relationship that the both of you have. It was clear from the get go that this was nothing serious.

So why was he asking it now?

And why did you respond to it right away, as if you knew your answer even before he asked?

-

"Come on, it'll be fun."

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"I'll make you feel good, you won't regret this."

It did feel good, you were going to give Frank that. Possibly the best, even. But the latter part? You weren't so sure. Were you regretting it? Honestly, no.

Maybe not yet.

You'd rather not think about it for now.

"What's there to lose? We know each other too much to develop feelings anyway, you said so yourself."

Oh there's plenty to lose. Maybe a decade's worth of platonic (was it really platonic from the beginning though?) friendship. Your self-esteem was on the line too, but you didn't know it yet. You'll get there though, whether you like it or not.

"I'm free next Friday, come over. Spend the night with me. What do you say?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Next Friday. I'll see you, okay?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Ugh, fine."

But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

-

That first night with Frank was something else. It was fun and he kept his promise to make you feel good. So, so good. You never thought that sex could be that fucking good. At least, not with your previous partners. Not that you had many in the first place.

But god, Frank knew what he was doing and he loved doing things to you. He loved the entire process of knowing your body, what you liked and what you loved. How you liked to be kissed and touched and fucked.

He studied your body like his fucking life depended on it and you let him. You let him own your body because you needed someone to. You needed to feel something, wanted to have a purpose even for just a short while, even if it meant being someone's fuck buddy.

You felt lost for the longest time, but as you laid on Frank's bed with his tongue lapping up your cunt, you actually felt like you belonged somewhere.

-

You weren't a booty call, definitely not. And when things escalated between the both of you, Frank was already single and had broken off with his recent girlfriend, Daphne. You weren't a doormat nor a side chick. Frank had been your friend for the longest time, one of your closest actually. He knew you the best and not just physically. Frank knew the darkest parts of you the same way you knew him like the back of your hand. He was the most open to you, he said so himself.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." he told you one time.

Frank wasn't afraid to show you his true colors; how he wasn't the kind to settle for one or how he would often end up with someone immature or toxic. He himself was toxic and for the most part, you tolerated him.

That was the mistake on your part.

You let him be himself, that's why you held a special place in his heart. Not even his past girlfriends could get rid of you. You were untouchable.

"Are you sure she's fine with us going out?" you asked Frank one time, as the both of you headed to the movies.

He scoffed, "Yeah, don't worry. I already told her you're my best friend. You're off limits." he chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside the cinema.

"You're fine." he reassured again, this time wrapping his arm around your shoulder and then cradling your head playfully.

-

Looking back, you sometimes ponder whether the friendship was really platonic. You were sure of it when the both of you first became friends; he was a couple of years older than you. You sort of looked up to him like an older brother for the first few years of your relationship. And he was very caring too, always looking out for you.

Your other friends were the first one to notice the closeness. They often told you that Frank seemed to have a thing for you. You brushed it off though, saying that it was impossible.

His girlfriend then was an acquaintance of yours. She was nice and wasn't bothered by how Frank was affectionate towards you.

Indeed, you were untouchable. You were the best friend after all.

-

"We fought again."

You rolled your eyes at Frank as he sat across from you at a local coffee shop near your place. It was your birthday and as always, you spent the most part of it with Frank.

It was like a tradition already, to celebrate your birthday with Frank first before you went out with your friends. Or even family. It was that kind of friendship.

"I'm sorry but who are we talking about again?" you joked.

Frank made a face, "Daphne." he responded. "I just told you about her like, two days ago."

You snickered, "I was kidding. But honestly though, you have to stop flirting with other girls. It's been really difficult for me to keep track of your record, Frank. And are you and Daphne even official?" you asked, taking a sip from your cold brew.

He rubbed his chin and shrugged, "Sorta. Well, we were official two weeks ago. Now though, I'm not so sure. Here's the thing, Daphne can be really..." he said, trying to search for the right words.

You hummed and shook your head, "Immature?" you said and mindlessly scrolled through your phone.

"You should really stop dating girls who are immature, Frank. I swear to god, this is like...I don't know, the fifth time you dated someone like her? Why don't you settle for someone who actually acts her age?" you blurted out.

Frank groaned and transferred to the seat next to you, his body facing yours and his hand landing on your thigh. You didn't mind, didn't think it was too touchy or intimate for someone who was in a relationship. It was pretty common for Frank to be this touchy with you anyway, you never paid much attention to it nor given it any malice.

"We fought because of you actually." Frank admitted with an apologetic smile.

Your head snapped towards him, a scowl etched on your face. "What did I do?!" you asked in defense.

"It was my fault. Daph saw your photo inside my wallet." he said.

"You should really throw away that photo. Jesus, why do you still have it anyway?" you complained.

Frank scoffed, "That's my favorite photo of you. I don't wanna get rid of it."

That was the last day that you considered your friendship with Frank platonic.

-

Come over

I miss u xoxo

Miss eating u out

Miss ur moans, wanna hear them again

You groaned at the continuous notifications that flooded your phone. While you were at work. After that first night with Frank, he had gotten extra clingy. No lies though, it felt nice to be wanted like this.

im free nxt Sat

Yay

Cant wait to see u, missed u a lot

dude, we were at the mall together just last wk

U really dont get attached do u?

Frowning at Frank's reply, you honestly didn't understand what he was implying.

what u mean?

Nothing

Work kept you busy for the entire week, with Frank bombarding you with sweet texts. You've avoided being sweet with him, it felt wrong. You weren't an affectionate person but Frank was, it was sort of one-sided. It wasn't a big deal anyway.

No one from the rest of your friends knew what had become of your friendship with Frank. You just thought it wasn't something that should be revealed. It was like your and Frank's little secret. You had to admit, the thrill only made the sex better.

Whenever the both of you went out with other people, the tension was there and it was fun. It was fun trying to brush off the way Frank's hand would steal touches from your waist, or how he'd subtly squeeze your thigh. The looks you exchanged from across the room; how Frank's "fuck me" eyes were meant for you and only you.

Things like that made you feel a certain type of way. But you never dwelled on it, or at least, you thought you didn't.

-

"Yeah, fuck...just like that, baby."

Frank's fingers dug deeply into the skin of your ass as he guided your hips. You gripped onto the back of the couch as you bounced on his cock, head thrown back from pleasure as Frank suckled one of your nipples. You could feel each of his fingers pressing down against your skin, it's probably going to leave bruises again.

"Frank, shit. I'm close." you panted against the skin of his neck, your arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close.

Frank grunted and took your face in between his palms, forcing you to look at him as he began to thrust his hips upwards, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from you.

"Wanted to see you like this ever since." he breathed out, pressing his lips against your open mouth.

"Wanted you since we met, d'you know that?" he asked, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back so he could nibble on your throat.

You shook your head and gripped his shoulders, nails scratching at his skin as you continued to ride his cock, "God, Frank...so close." you moaned.

You felt Frank's lips curl into a smirk against your neck, his fingers gripping your hair to keep you in place as his other hand slipped in between your bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it to help you reach your climax.

Every single time he touched you, you felt like your entire body was on fire. You felt the most alive, the most free whenever Frank fucked you. Maybe because he was truly gifted in bed or maybe he just knew your body and how to make it sing.

Or maybe it was because of the way he looked at you whenever you fall apart for him. Like he only had eyes for you, like it was only you that he could see.

Sweaty bodies and hoarse voices, the smell of smoke and sex lingering in the air. It was such a familiar ambiance by now. You liked how the aftermath of fucking Frank was never awkward, if any, it was a comfortable experience with the both of you just talking casually about how each other's day went.

"So I'm talking to this girl..." Frank said, turning you around so he could spoon you. Oh, the irony of the intimacy and conversation.

"Where'd you meet this girl?" you asked.

"Tinder." Frank snorted before pressing a kiss on your nape. "No, but she's different. I don't know, there's something about her."

You merely hummed in response.

"Think I might ask her out."

The first sting. The first realization. The first denial.

You should've said no. You should've known better.

-

The art exhibit wasn't a flop, but you wouldn't call it a success either. When you got a call from the organizer asking whether they can include your paintings in the exhibit, you said yes instantly. What can you say? You were a struggling artist who was seeking validation.

But now that you stood in front of your works with barely ten people attending the one-day exhibit, you thought that this wasn't a validation. It felt like a wake up call that maybe, art wasn't your calling and that you should probably give up on your dream.

"These are amazing."

You were on the verge of breaking down when you heard his voice. Turning around, you were surprised to see Frank. He was nodding his head as he approached you, his eyes scanning each of your painting.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work." you asked.

Frank gave you a face, "Did you really think I'd miss out on your first exhibit?" he said and pulled you into a warm embrace.

"I'm proud of you." he whispered before kissing the crown of your head.

One validation from Frank was all it took for the walls to crumble down. He was the one who had been there for you all along and that was why you completely trusted him.

Frank will never hurt you, he'll never bring you down.

Or so you thought.

-

"Do you love me?"

It was a question that was supposed to make you think. But you didn't, because even before Frank decided to ask you that, you already had your answer.

You knew your answer for the longest time now, but decided to lock it into a box that you kept in the deepest part of your heart. It remained there unbothered and almost forgotten, up until this point.

That's why it was so easy for you to respond to it without even batting an eye.

"Yes."

It was too late when you realized that you had just admitted that you were in love with Frank. But you felt like it was the right time for you to bring out the key to that box, open it and just set your truth free.

They said that the truth will set you free, but why does it feel like it only imprisoned you?

"Shit, I was kidding." Frank said, his face panicked and body stiff from your unexpected admission.

Before you could even say something, Frank let out a nervous laugh as he ran his hand through his locks. "Wow, I didn't...are you serious?" he asked again.

It took you everything to brush off the pain, "Yeah, but it's no big deal. Come on." you shook your head and forced out a breathy chuckle.

Frank heaved out a deep sigh, "Fuck, I was messing with you. Are you sure it's fine? I mean, would this change anything?" he asked.

You deadpanned, "No, Frank. It wouldn't change anything. Like I said, get over it. It's not like I'm in love with you. I just love you...if that makes sense? You're my friend." you explained, more like lied.

"Look, it's not like I'm unattracted to you. I like you, I like spending time with you. It's just that I sort of don't see myself committing to you."

It didn't sink in to you immediately, Frank's statement. You didn't pay it any mind because again, you knew Frank. He wasn't one to commit so that was fine, you understand where he was coming from. It's not like you were going to force yourself on him too. But then you accidentally glanced at his phone and saw the messages he'd been exchanging with a certain someone.

When r u coming home?

In a little while, Daph

That night, Frank's statement hit you like a ton of bricks but again, you chose to deny what you actually felt. It's fine.

You're fine.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better.

Those words rang in your ears on the day that you found out. Your body turned cold, your vision blurred and your head spun. You'd never experienced hurt and anger like this, the kind that consumed you.

The kind that made you realized and admit that fuck, you'd truly fallen for Frank only for him to break your heart.

It didn't help that you were having such a terrible day at work. And Frank was so sweet to ask you whether you wanted to meet up with him. Not for sex, but to talk. The sex came rarely recently and was replaced with wholesome trips to the grocery, shit like that.

You knew there was something special going on. Even after he told you that he didn't see himself being with you, there was something.

Apparently, that something was just an assumption. Because when you asked Frank to meet you up that night, he said he couldn't and needed to be somewhere. That he'd meet with you the next day instead, a promise.

But then you saw him post a photo of him and Daphne. And it made your blood boil.

u back together?

No. Not really, been trying to fix it but u know how it is.

if ur trying to fix it with her then im out, frank

Wait what? Hey, are u mad?

r u fucking serious? u knew i love u and u come here parading ur ex, what the fuck is that all abt?

Shit, hey. Look, let's talk later, okay? Im out, will txt u when Im free.

Frank didn't text you back for the rest of the day.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

Were you regretting it? Yes. Sometimes.

You didn't know which hurt the most, the fact that Frank kept you in the dark while he was trying to patch things up with his ex, or that he considered you his best friend and still chose to break your heart.

He knew you the best, your relationship and trust issues and out of all the people, he really had to be the one to fuck you up the most. You trusted him so much, trusted him not to hurt you. Hell, if he doesn't want to commit then that's fine. But for him to treat you like a second option? Fuck that.

For him to confuse you with his actions, the intimacy...were all of those even real? All the times he came to your support when you had no one, when he was there for you on days you felt alone. What were those? He made you feel so fucking special, like it was possible to actually turn the friendship into something more than just fucking.

All this time you thought it was one-sided because you never actually showed Frank how much you meant to him the same way he did to you. Turned out that it was one-sided, but only because you were the only one who fell.

The following day, you received a voicemail from Frank. You pondered whether you were ready to listen to it but at the same time, you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was pretty stupid, he fucked you up and there was no excuse for that. But the friendship you had with him had a strong hold on you.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That was my mistake." he started off. "I thought that this was really just sex and having fun, but I want you to know that I like you. I really do, you're special to me. Please give me a chance to make things right. Daph and I...I want to end things with her. Please stay, I don't know what I'd do without you."

“I just didn’t expect that you’d end up falling for me, I mean shit. You know the real me, how fucked up I am when it comes to relationships. Just please...please stay?”

Did you stay? Sort of. But you kept your distance, didn't meet up with Frank after that and only responded to his texts occasionally. Did he end things with Daph?

He didn't.

He said he would but instead, they got back together.

It was fucking selfish of Frank to ask for you to stay only for him to get back together with his ex. It'd be better for him to just slap you in the face then.

Being told that he couldn't see himself committing to you but then going back with his ex was the cherry on top. God, if that didn't mess up with your self-worth.

You totally stopped talking to Frank, ignored his texts and calls. You stayed away from him, tried to get over him and eventually, you did. But you'd be lying if you said that he never left an effect on you. Because he did, Frank did a number on you and it would take you a long fucking time to completely recover from the damage he inflicted on you.

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

And that's okay, because there's nothing wrong with taking risks and ending up in heartbreak.

You live, you love and you learn.

-

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