#i just dont think it was a good choice for the movies
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more tit spoilers yap
i feel like if each tour was a movie in a movie series, then tatinof and ii are parts 1 and 2, wad is a spinoff, and tit is part 3. i think tit is a direct sequel to ii because of the meta nature of the show being amped up as well as the themes of "giving the ppl what they want" vs "taking back what was taken from us" obv being a parallel. and obv wad and tatinof are also Extremely Meta, but the specific ways in which ii and tit are meta in terms of being ABOUT the audience-creator relationship is more overarching, whereas tatinof's meta nature is in it being an explosion of self-referential bits that they know the audience already loves. and wad... honestly idk if i would even call wad meta? it's mostly just self-indulgent, WHICH IS A GOOD THING because it is directly about dan's particular struggles with coping through a world that seems to be getting worse and worse and figuring that you HAVE to keep going and see thru to the other side. which i guess is meta in that its about himself but thats like calling an autobiography meta lmao.
i could be misremembering bc it was such a whirlwind experience for me, but i dont think they ever clarify if they DO believe themselves to be bad influences or not. now i feel like this should be obvious, but just in case it isn't: dan and phil did not make you gay. they maybe influenced you to come out, or influenced your gay fashion choices, or maybe seeing them be openly queer or reading fics about them and seeing shippy art of them stirred something within you to realize that you've been gay the whole time (which is also a joke that they do a couple times where theyre like "no we were STRAIGHT and we BECAME GAY in 2019!")
id love to hear about what was confessed to sister daniel and father philip at other shows i'll be honest i cant remember the confessed sins because i was too busy staring at those thighs im sorry i am just a man i am no better than a man
i have so many thoughts on phil talking by himself. i have so many thoughts about how much love is in that mans heart, both for dan and for us, even if he doesnt wear it on his sleeve all the time.
the rave part of the song was good lmao. it was catchy and fun and the like EVERYBODY STAND UP part was goofy but i had a good time with it. im an internet is here supremacist i think in terms of like, actually liking the song LMAO, if i were to rank all the tour songs it would go:
the internet is here
everything's fine
terrible influence
phil diss track / interactive introverts (IM A HATER SORRY)
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i have such mixed feelings on tauriel
okay lets start with the premise of making her: “there are too many men in this movie and while we cant add a shit ton of characters, we can at least add this one woman and give her a big-ish part”
and that’s cool! i love it! great idea! BUT then their execution is “let’s make her whole story about romance”
which, is not great, like i admit the characters have chemistry, but it’s super uncomfortable to shoehorn in a romance for no reason, and i will get to the intricacies of my feelings on that mess in a minute and focus on the worst part which is “it’s also a love triangle :)”
which inFURIATES me, like why are you doing such a huge disservice to this admittedly GOOD character that you’ve created, i genuinely like tauriel as a character, she’s cool! i just hate the story they gave her!!! and it fucks up legolas’ entire character plot
and this is why the romance bothers me besides the insult to women in general!!!
it may seem really dumb, but it’s 100% because it ruins the character journeys in lotr, legolas no longer has any actual issues with dwarves!!! like, it weakens and cheapens the significance of legolas and gimli’s friendship!!! and THAT’s ignoring the very valid (and possibly canon tbh) interpretation that legolas and gimli are also romantic
there’s a REASON, THEMATICALLY and NARRATIVELY, why legolas and gimli are the only elf and dwarf with a close relationship in literal MILLENNIA and they just made it all “he jealous of kili and their kingdoms were jerks to each other” which BLATANTLY IGNORES AND MISCONSTRUES THE LITERAL MILLENNIA OF HATRED AND RACISM BETWEEN ALL DWARVES AND ELVES, not just the woodland realm and erebor(maybe durin’s folk/the longbeards in general if u squint)
legolas and gimli are ROYALS which adds to the significance of their choice to throw away thousands of years worth of hatred, as royalty they are representing their people and their friendship signals a start of being able to make repairs to the relationship between the two races on a level that has not existed since BEFORE KHAZAD-DUM FELL
but no let’s instead make the pretty lady elf fall in love with a dwarf when it could’ve been a much deeper storyline more focused on the tension between their peoples that could have enhanced lotr’s story instead of making that part nonsensical which would have been both a better story AND not have reduced a good character to a love interest
i guess my mixed feelings on tauriel really just boil down to SHE DESERVED BETTER THAN A DUMB ROMANCE TRIANGLE PLOTLINE THAT WAS ACTIVELY UNDERMINING THE REST OF THE MOVIES
#lotr movies#the hobbit movies#*noodlespeaks#not sure what tags would be best#this is very movie-centric#but im not too fussed tbh#if people like this take then it’ll get to the right people#idk if ppl follow the tauriel tag and idk if tauriel stans would enjoy it#even tho it’s me being very insulted FOR HER#i know plenty of people like taurielxkili and this isn’t exactly kind to them even tho i do think it’s cute#i just dont think it was a good choice for the movies
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hey guys look what i found in my drafts. from a few days ago .
#sorry i think its my fault that this happened#still unsure if The News is actually real or not tbh since no official sources have said anything about it as far as i know#and i hear the hollywood reporter is usually right about this stuff but idk#the fact that there are no actual sources or evidence for any of this other than ''just trust me bro'' is a bit suspicious to me#+ the fact that theyve been keeping the development of sonic 3 very quiet and secret#yet shadows voice actor. which is one of the biggest topics of discussion surrounding the movie. just. happened to leak somehow ?#but . the timing on this is kinda funny . and very tragic. if it is real#i said it already but i dont get why so many people are celebrating this. from what ive heard he doesnt fit ....#and it feels like another case of casting a random celebrity over an actual voice actor just to have a big name attached to the project#regardless of if theyre really the best choice.#which i thought everyone agreed was a shitty and annoying practice especially if its some iconic video game/comic/whatever character ?#but maybe i just havent heard the right specific voice clips that make people think its a good choice i dont know .
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I totally get people talking about rottmnt and not being into because of the cartoony madness and exaggeration. I get it, it’s grating for some
But that acceptance goes OUT the window as soon as the same person vehemently swears up and down 2012 is the best tmnt rendition 💀💀
The incest one??? With the horrible writing? THAT one?
#its just a little silly to me#also theyre both the same level of nickelodeon#ppl making it a maturity thing and THATS the reboot they go for… ok#I love 2012 btw#i also hate it#but like I love them in my version where things aren’t messed up#LIKE LEO AND KARAI 💀‼️#it gets a little grating how people who refuse to watch rottmnt will bash it to no end because its easy to jump on the bandwagon#you can have a lower tolerance for cartoons but dont make that your justification when I see your ass watching jhonny bravo BYE 😵💫#also i love ben shwartz dont be mean to him#if you think hes cringe then… yeah youre not totally wrong but he does a good job lmao#sort of#shhhhhh#tmnt#kat talks#favorite does not equal best btw#enjoy your turts reguardless#rottmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#just tired at the INSANEEE bashing with little valitity#we can just. shhhhhhhhh#also idc what anybody says the movie is worth watching 🤘#at least nobody is saying the bayverse is the best rendition#small mercies#leo karai incest arc flashbacks tho like EUUGGHHH#i will acquiesce ppl can complain about rottmnt splinter all they want and you wont hear a peep choices there were indeed made 💀#yeah that is really the unfortunate part dunno how that went wrong there
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uuhhh in other new that lmk s5 trailer dropped and people are very
mixed
for context the new season is being partly animated by wildbrain i think. flying bark is still working on the show but probably due to all the other projects they've been working on like the atla movie the animation is off.
its understandable that people are upset. lmk has some of the most consistently dynamic and lively animation ive ever seen, and going from that to ok animation kinda sucks. as a culmination of a lot of what the series has been building up to people were inevitably going to be disappointed
at the same time people shouldnt harass animators. like ever. no amount of trying to petition or anything will change the s5, people are just trying to do their job and theres no probably no major changing to the finished product by now. and theres still a lot of that lmk charm in there, and we haven't even seen the whole season yet to judge it. flying bark is still working on it, and even if the animation never reaches the peak of the old seasons it still has the same writers so at least the writing has the chance to live up old standards. idk though we'll just have to wait and see
#i do think they could have just delayed it after dealing with other projects but with the anniversary lego might have jsut forced them????#and with how the animation industry is i guess they didnt have a choice#tbh im still really sad about the downgrade but after rewatching the trailer a bit more its not that bad despite the tweening#we've been spoiled with the other seasons but i think people will get used to it at some point. maybe#though i cant forgive some of the new stuff like li jing and that dragon tiger duo they do not fit the artstyle at all#though for li jing i think the problem is mostly proportions and how small his eyes look#but the dragon and tigers snouts just look bad.#ok looking at it again i think it looks weird because theyre dissolving. the design's still off but it wasn't as bad as i first thought.#but the proportions and shapes feels like it just isn't from lmk#idk i could nitpick but negativity is tiring and these guys have big shoes to fill for a show they werent prepared for it was inevitable#for any last takeaways please do not be mean to the animators#also studio changes are normal so its not some horrible injustice or the sign of the end times im more upset lego didn't handle it better#i still hope s5 is good and i want to believe it'll still be satisfying by the end the plot so far sounds pretty interesting#or atleast that the atla movie is good enough to compensate#and if im feeling greedy there will be a 6th season that gets better#and there are still good shots throughout all of this so maybe it'll work out with the season as a whole#with how popular it is in china i dont think its out of the question#idk though a lot of information is still up in the air so i guess we just wait#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#alttalks
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and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....
#i have never read the books but ive just watched the first 2 narnia movies#it was def my first time seeing prince caspian idk ab the other narnia i probs watched it as a kid#but he..... he is calling me#mr doomed blonde twink who makes poor choices but is doing his best....... welcome back all my muses#i was gonna say welcome back kurt but... tate... levi.... probably more#ive never been. Good at writing fantasy im not great w anything that requires lore#hes just. oh hes calling to me#and the. specifically the pains of living a life in narnia and being king and then having to go back to the real world and be Just A Kid#idk if hes in the third movie im ab to watch it now but the bitter sweet end of 2 where he says hes leaving narnia and he wont be coming ba#and aslan says its bc he has nothing more to learn from it like..... kinda heartbreaking and would destroy u as a person#a world where ur king and u do everything u can to make the right choices but u dont do things really right and u get people killed#and yeah narnia prevails but it doesnt prevail bc of u. its in part bc of u but ur decision cost lives it risked a lot#and then its like. well ur leaving now and thats it bc it taught u what u needed to learn#and like maybe it did but he had no chance at redemption at fixing things there like his redemption was to leave it to someone more capable#and then he has to just like. go be a person. and live a normal life#like thats wild#im gonna go watch the third movie if u have read the books sound off on if u think i should based entirely on my little rant ab peter#the issue here tho. is if i made him. u see. two muses named peter on this blog... both with a last name starting w p.... its almost like.#its almost like one would have to be a solo blog#'but quin ur literally never here anyway' but what if for a hyperfixation muse i was here#this post started w the intent of 'narnia peter solo blog' but now... i am thinking perhaps spider peter would be a better solo bc of his.#bc of the fixation i have#however he intimidates me a Lot as a solo blog bc hes such a. everyone knows him u know hes a Big muse and i fear the pressure of that#then again narnia i think is big too? and theres the talks of the new movies so thats also potentially big muse#its crazy bc i have sososo much muse for every muse i have but my brain is saying abandon this blog and make both peters solos#and i Cant do that#but at the same time................................#my issue has always been too many blogs and being stretched too thin but also. w all due respect. who cares#like i am here to have fun and most of the time my blogs dont last bc no one writes w me not bc i dont want those muses#and yeah theres no guarantee making a new blog would change that but idk. kinda vibe w the idea of starting new
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Another day, another question I'd like to throw out to the fellow Brokeback Mountain tag lurkers. This time, I wanna preface my question with a little background info:
When I first saw Brokeback Mountain I maintained the belief that, when Jack's father tells Ennis about how Jack's plans to bring a rancher up with him didn't "come to pass", it was because the rancher (who we can presume is Randall) backed out, and it was just one more disappointment in a string of failures that was Jack's life before he died. The final knife twist to the gut.
After reading a ton of fics and listening to a ton of podcast reviews abt the movie, though, I've come across a lot of different perspectives about the whole Randall thing. A popular idea amongst the Jack-was-murdered crowd is that Jack and Randall were somehow discovered and that is what led to Jack's death. Interestingly enough, there's actually an entire deleted scene of the film dedicated to this perspective—we don't have any footage of it, but as far as I could tell, the gist was that Jack and Randall were either coming back from or on their way to having one of their own "camping trips", when the camera focuses on a good ol' boy mechanic watching them very closely, foreshadowing the scene of Jack being beaten bloody that happens during Ennis' call with Lureen. This scene was deleted most likely because the filmmakers thought it was leading the audiences too much to a firm conclusion of Jack's death, and they wanted to maintain the tragedy of it's ambiguity from the short story.
Anyways, all this aside, I'm just kind of curious to know what others think went down with the whole Randall/Jack thing. What, exactly, did John Twist mean when he told Ennis that it didn't come to pass—was it actually a sure thing that they were going to move on up there, or was Jack putting his time and effort into another futile effort?
In relation to that, I'm also curious to know what y'all think about how the Ennis/Jack dynamic would have continued in the event that Jack didn't die? Like, if you think Randall and Jack were actually going to make a go of it, do you think that Jack would still sneak off to get his hits of Ennis twice a year while living at his parent's ranch with Randall? If he lived and still didn't get Randall, would Jack have moved on? After their last fight, would Ennis have heard from Jack ever again?
#maybe this would be better formatted as a poll bc ppl are more responsive to those but i feel like the question is just too open ended#theres too many combinations of choices#ill just give my perspective that whether jack would have ended up w randall or not i think that jack and ennis would eventually have fallen#out. like i think that jack endured waaay too much heartache and a lot of the interviews ive heard from diana ossana (producer screenwriter#and number 1 factor in this movie getting made) seem to corroberate the idea that jack got tired of holding on and figured out when he#needed to cut his losses#as much as i live for reading the fanfic good endings where jack and ennis are endgame i dont really thing thats the way things wouldve gone#for them if jack had made it to november#but they really wouldve gone down with the ship and thats what gives me comfort#anywayyss tossing the speaker ball out into the crowd now#brokeback mountain#ennis del mar#jack twist#jake gyllenhaal#heath ledger#annie proulx#still brokeback posting
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I'm pretty sure I've admitted it on here before, but I actually do really love The Last Jedi. I think it's a really good movie! Well made, well acted, beautifully shot, the characters and their development is compelling. I enjoy it!
I do not, however, think it's a very good Star Wars movie.
#like. i absolutely get why so many people hate it#i think a lot of it comes from just how much it doesn't really feel like a star wars movie#the stuff about the force. oh that's 100% star wars and was so refreshing to see#but the bait and switch with audience expectation? yeah. i understand why a lot of people felt betrayed#i will die on the hill that Luke's characterization is compelling and really really fun to expore#do i think it was the best choice? no. not really#but it is FASCINATING. and probably the best explination you can give for why he up and abandoned Leia#something set up in TFA#i dont think i would have been satisfied with any other answer given#'oh. Luke ditched his sister when she desperately needed him and fucked off to some nowhere planet to find some plot breaking mcguffin'#yeah no thanks#i like that luke disappeared into exile due to some precieved failure on his part. very obi wan of him#that's a reason i can actually buy#plus like. exploring a character crushed under the weight of their own legacy#thats cool. thats FUN#i saw a really good meta about Luke's tlj arc that i need to find again
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lowkey me abt my masters abroad plan
#on top of everything it will be a big L for me like i keep telling everyone id rather die than live in this country lol#like oooh look who's back with us in this humble depressive reality miss too-good-for-here lol#genuinely tho i do think im too good for here but the bar is so low#and also i keep having to remind myself there's a very real possibility i will just be stuck in the closet in the foreseeable future#if i keep living here lol#aaand also i do like my family but i need to push myself away from my comfort zone i feel like. and how am i gonna do that in this country#like going to Istanbul is not a choice no offense to yall but i dont wanna die in an earthquake lol#and other cities are just????? mostly not even cities????? lol#NBC would be having a field day with these thoughts this will be the case study for his next movie 🤩#i mean after that insane politics fight during dinner scene lmao#🗒#anyway. omw to nap
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Thinking some fandom thoughts and then about ORV's portrayal of an author-character-reader relationship with the story and realising how....lacking at times the whole death of the author perspective on media can be.
(Turned out to be long and rambly so I put it under a cut. If you like death of the author, probably not for your worldview? Also, beware major ORV spoilers if you care about that)
Like, perhaps I'm misinterpreting something here, but in ORV, we had these three characters plus an entire system that gave us a look into the relationship between author/reader/character. And focusing on the Han Sooyoung, Kim Dokja, and Yoo Joonghyuk dynamic, I realise that none of them really died. Pushing asides Joonghyuk and Dokja for the moment (as I am talking about death of the author), we have Han Sooyoung whose consciousness faded after finishing Ways of Survival.
However, I don't know if we can really call that death of the author, really. Because Sooyoung's whole purpose in writing ORV, her authorial intention, was to save Kim Dokja's life...which she DID. And even after the story left her hands, her intentions were imprinted into the story itself. Yes, Dokja realised that the system was lenient to him because of (spoiler alert) his status as the OD. But at the same time, I think that Han Sooyoung's authorial intent to keep Dokja alive with WoS can also be taken as a factor in the system's leniency towards our reader.
And just jumping from that back to my original point, while death of the author IS fun and can be awesome for reinterpreting stories that the author may have intended as problematic (to our modern standards, at least), to separate the actual story itself from its creator seems just....a tad disrespectful to the author.
Or maybe disrespectful isn't the right word. Like, say, even if said author is objectively the worst of humans, there remains the fact that the story in essence has part of them embedded into it. It doesn't make sense, at least to me, to only give "morally okay" writers the allowance of people who put a part of themselves in their works. Any writer, even those who are writing for money imo, can't help but put part of their own selves into their story...and to separate the story from the author just because we hate the author or hate their beliefs seems a bit counter-productive. You can't just say, after all, that this author's vulnerability in their writing is okay because it's Correct but this other guy's vulnerability should be ignored because it's chalk full of Problematic Content.
But again, that's not to justify authors you dislike or the deeply wrong messages implied in their works. Especially those that could easily be shooed away by employing death of the author. But I think I'd consider fanfic or analyses that ignore authorial intent and their message to be something...new entirely? (Best way I can say it is something something death of an author employed to help the reader create their own narrative inspired by someone else's story rather than it being used to ignore author intent and claim our interpretation is what canon actually meant).
I think there's a saying in music as well as writing that you could play the same exact score or write the same story, it's just that things will come out different depending on the player or writer. (That's not a perfect comparison because the player/musician who WROTE the score could be considered a reader/author relationship...the point is more that the same thing will look different in the hands of different people. And that just as the reader will interpret something in their own way when reading/re-reading (another ORV reference), the author also has placed in their own interpretation and intent in that own work...which should at worst be respected because they DID make that content (and then we proceed to brutally revise it to make something we like better xD) or at best be taken as "word of god" for lack of a better term)
Not sure if any of this makes sense, and I definitely don't have any factual evidence to back up this opinion, but it was just something I was thinking of.
TL:dR? Death of the author is FUN and actually pretty cool but I think the things coming out of it are new(ish) things/works entirely, and og author's beliefs/intentions are important to consider for that text they wrote in of itself.
#honestly this thought came from scrolling through the narnia tag and feeling slight despair over movies vs book#and also a bit of a surprise at how MANY people still believe in the problem of susan....like i thought we were past that?#and how many people dont seem to get or like that cs lewis' christianity deeply inspired it#or how much historical and cultural context we might need to understand some of the choices#like the pevensies whole isekai regressions#another example i can think of is lotr....and another is funny enough the bible#but those arent things i know well enough#but yeah....orv and narnia conspiring together for this nonsense of mine#again disclaimer this really isnt meant to attack anyone or say im right...its just another opinion to be lost in the sea of internet#but yeah....i did kinda get carried away xD...my poor rambles never get any good transitions#fandom spamdom#note's nonsense#things about writing#orv spoilers#another disclaimer i wrote this after having been awake for like....almost 19 hours coherence be gone#but yeeting it into the void nevertheless#i also think there was a post circulating once that talked about death of the author not being actually used in academic circles#excuse me rambling in the tags
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how was the new little mermaid movie did u like it
I liked it!! And as a certified live action disney hater that really surprised me! I genuinely cannot think of the last disney remake i saw in theaters that wasn’t just like soul eating but this one was super fun and very cute and really makes you root for the characters! Its a bit tone deaf at parts but like tbh its disney so like honestly the rest of it was fine! I cannot defend most of the cgi but i can say you get used to it and flounder is far and away the worst character in terms of design and all the ocean scenery was genuinely beautiful and cool to see on the big screen!
#there is one scene thats meant to be like touching and heartfelt and i need you to know the theater burst out laughing#like its been a while since ive heard a theater reaction like that so it was definitely memorable#she was on screen crying and literally the theater could not stop laughing 😭😭#i do think the middle was fucking great though#i think the beginning and end are a little weaker but tbh the middle was soooooo fun and funky fresh and cool so i liked it lots#oh and i love halle okay i do i had ungodly hour on repeat for like two years but smfnkdjssk i am also a musical lover…#and she is not BAD at singing but the problem is she is GOOD at it and is good at it in the way a like album singer is vs a musical singer#bc its DIFFERENT and that definitely came through and its not BAD but its not musical either so that threw me off a bit#i genuinely think its unnoticeable if you dont have issues like i do bc none of the ppl i watched it with said anything#one of them is a disney adult basically though so lmfao maybe they dont count but NO ONE ELSE said anything#its so so so so fun though like i cannot overstate that enough like i am a genUINE hater people know this i can and will hate anything#i barely need a reason i can just do it and this movie had me laughing and having a good time before we even hit the halfway mark#so that was very impressive to me bc as mentioned i 1. love to hate and 2. was prepared to hate this so i liked it thumbs up#i definitely have thoughts on some of the new music…. but once again i have problems. i liked it 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍#v.txt#genuinely everyone slayed actually wait awkwafina was weird that was a weird bad choice casting her but EVERYTHING ELSE good 👍#melissa mccarthy especially came out swinging but also i dont like the tag here bc why are there more gifsets of the random white girl than#there are of halle 🥴🥴🥴 but whatever thats unrelated MOVIE I LIKED AND WAS FUN!!!
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okay :)
i had gotten a dog, so the dog was a factor. dogs have to be the right size and shape. under 50 pounds. please see our restricted breeds list. he sleeps most of the time, a well-behaved menace. he's big because i'm single in the city and it gets dark here early - but i've had to trade that sense of safety for scrambling-for-housing.
cheerfully i report that i live in a hole! because humor, like vicks, soothes what-is-horrible. the windows are painted shut. the fridge sometimes just shuts off for no reason. there are only 2 working stove burners and they're not in the front. for some reason, rust is everywhere, no matter whether it makes sense for an area to rust. the door in the bathroom has a very badly-patched hole; white-yellow stark against the bad cherry vinyl.
okay. it's what i can afford. the pamphlet had said new england nepenthes(TM) apartments: a beautiful place to grow up. and yes, it's ground-floor, which isn't ideal. so we (my dog and i) have successfully secured the door with one of those big prybars that are 50 dollars. also i usually balance something heavy near any possible entrances - i want to be awake when they fall. you know, during the break-in.
for the first four months, i didn't notice. there had been so much to do in those four months. okay, our (okay, my, he doesn't pay rent) kitchen is literally four tiles wide and undivided from the other spaces. the dining room and office are also the living room (which is. also the kitchen). my bed is too big for the bedroom; i can either have it weirdly against the wall with a door (horrible) or i have to give up opening my closet all the way.
my mama raised me on martha stewart, so. it's quiet here, i love the location, and even if it's rundown, i can make it work. i buy peel-and-stick reusable wallpaper that has long lines to make it look like everything is taller. i move the plants around, trying to get them into the most sun. i put up shelves and hope that i'll have enough spackle later to cover up the worst mistakes i've made with the nail gun. and hey! the location. like the pamphlet said: a beautiful place to grow up.
it's in the middle of putting up our new wrought iron plant holders. i have adhd, time when i'm focused can pass ephemerally. oh shit, i realize. it's 9:30 in the evening. i am probably keeping people awake with all the drilling. fuck. my bad. i tilt an ear upstairs, waiting. nobody slamming the floor with a broom. nobody shouting. maybe quiet hours are at 10 and they're just waiting.
the holders are real wrought iron because my plants weigh a lot. i press the last one above my head, against the pilot holes. now i feel bad about the time. i should just wrap up this last one i'm attaching and then go to bed. if i wait, i'll forget in the morning. distracted, i look down to where i've left the screws on my desk (which is often also my dining room table and art station), and, as if the wall spat the screws out, the iron slips out of my grasp and cracks me hard against my nose before tumbling down to the floor.
fuck.
one of the worst things about living alone is when you get hurt. sparks jump in front of me. my eyes start tearing. fuck! i've broken my nose before, this feels like that. fuck fuck fuck. maybe it's not broken?
i have to hobble off the stool, trying to hold my nose while also not wanting to touch it. i do the first adult thing i can think of - call a bigger adult.
hey mama. i pant into the phone. no worries but how do i know if i broke my nose?
30 minutes later, we have decided it hurt but if i don't have a black eye, the nose is fine. it was already out of alignment anyway. i say the whole sordid story to her, and then i add i just feel bad i lost track of time, it's weird none of my neighbors complained.
as soon as i hang up, i hear the upstairs neighbors, with their quiet feet and soft, muffled voices. i hear people to the right and left of me. i hear them murmuring to each other. someone watches bad tv, i can hear the reality show music-to-dramatic-shouting.
i put ice on my face. i google nose break again just to be sure. i ask my dog if he thinks i look ugly, he responds by putting his three paws into the air and asking for a tummy rub. as part of our nightly ritual, i examine and worry about his amputation, even though it's completely healed up. i still do the physical therapy exercises with him. just in case. just to keep him warmed up.
later in bed, i am reaching to turn on gentle rain for white noise before i realize - huh. i think this evening is the first time i've ever actually heard anyone.
you ever have a thought that gets inside of you? i mean, yeah. of course you do, i guess all thoughts are inside you. but once in a while, don't you get one of those haha funny! thoughts that turns. bad. you know, when you've watched a scary movie and close the laptop and think it's not likely there's a killer in there, but have i ever really checked that deeply in the kitchen sink?
i was always the type to check. just in case. to put my mind at ease.
the thought is there when i wake up, like i'd had it for a while: i never actually see anyone coming and going.
the apartment complex is 12 buildings, staggered like spokes on a clock. i live in 6, the furthest from the road. we are spaced unevenly, but when i first saw it, i thought huh. what a nice quiet community. the grass is green and there are never any leaves. i've never seen someone come mow it. there are cars here, plenty. when was the last time you counted which cars are in the communal lot?
isn't it weird how you're always able to snag that one last spot?
i keep weird hours, is all. i laugh at the thought of it. there was a post on tumblr once that asked how long would it take you to realize the building was entirely empty. but it can't be empty, right? at night, when i can see into other people's apartments, i catch sight of the thousand ways other people decorate. blue LED lights or tapestries or nice curtains. so it is silly to think about that post, when i know other people are here. this is someone else's home.
i mention it to my sister when she comes over to help me move the couch purposelessly around before we both decide it was better where i'd originally had it. nobody, like, lives here. i say. it's weird. i've been here for five months, and i don't see anyone.
she shrugs. maybe it's too expensive for the area, or not really advertised enough. maybe most people my age keeping my hours don't like to live in apartments. who is to say.
after that, the shadows start. my dog and i go on our nighttime walk, and then i see the apartments come to life. the flickered silhouettes of them. the flash of tvs and laptops. the gauzy shape of others just-far-enough i can't quite make out their form. they walk away from the windows if i get close enough.
they must not know how to do it right. every third day, the animations repeat.
oh, i get it. i think. i'm living in a horror novel.
i'm cuban. my culture can be superstitious, yes. but it also means that i have been taught to keep my head on a swivel. we do not fuck with this shit. we do not oujia board the spirits for fun. we do not make a joke about the killer. we do not ever tempt fate, her ears are open-and-listening.
my lease is for one year. it's been five months, that's not that much longer. i can't afford to break it (or to move) at the moment. and, again, the dog factor. and i do love the location.
but once it is obvious, it is so obvious. i try to pay my rent by check just the once, but when i swing by the rental office, the whole floor of the building is dark. there is no cheerful team of realtors, only a single dark panel over door. due to unexpected circumstances, we are currently operating elsewhere. i go online and pay there instead.
no one here hosts parties. the mail truck never seems to come to any of the other buildings. my dog doesn't like going near certain places. i discover a 5-foot radius where my phone will always hang up on the person i'm talking with, even if i have service.
i watch carefully, while also pretending i am not watching. i check my mail, waiting for the electricity bill that never comes calling. in the front hall, amazon packages come with names too smudged for me to ever quite read. sanchez, maybe. then, to the same apartment a week later: tawny reed. it's different again the third week. i stop looking, feeling like i'm prying.
i mention how quiet it is here during the day to one of my bosses, and then the upstairs neighbor appears. her alarm goes off when mine does, almost like an echo. when i change my song, it takes her a few days to keep up. i had said something offhand about how i'm the only one with a dog. then, upstairs - the little patter of dog paws.
at night, i start seeing people on my dog walking route. they pace, insubstantial, something black at the end of their lead. their waving arms always bent at right angles, like they are figuring out how to navigate being 3D. i always wave back, cheerfully. i keep my headphones in. they are over there in the mist that-does-not-belong, and i am over here in the light-that-flickers-on-and-off. i do not need to make a scene about this. there are many reasons people might dissolve into nothing. it is not any of my business.
the upstairs girl smokes. i see her with her (pomeranian? poodle?) little rat-rabbit-dog (? dog in the loosest sense of the word), her legs up on the stoop. she always goes inside when i show up to our building, after giving me one of those straight side-to-side waves. i can never quite make out her features. she won't be there when i leave for our walk, but she'll be there when we get back, no matter how long my walk takes. she watching me, her eyes dark. she sits there, smoking, wearing galaxy-print leggings. the little dog running near her. (sometimes the dog is not there, until i look again, and it is. i must have just missed it, or maybe it was hiding under one of the trim little bushes. not my concern, whatever it is.)
i know she smokes, i can see the red glow and smell it on the air after. but there are no places to dispose of the butts and she never leaves behind any litter. so she must be careful with them, which i appreciate. cigarettes are bad for the environment. i am in no place to judge someone for their vices anyway. during the day, sometimes i hear her dog (a corgi? a terrier?) whine, this thin, reedy sound, like someone gasping for breath. like someone buried alive. a howl like dread. sometimes it even sounds human; garbled and anxious, bow wow wow warping into help help help.
but i'm sure my dog whines when i'm gone, too. i will not report her for this, because it's not her fault. and i don't want to get her in trouble. after all, we all love our dogs so much.
when i write a request for maintenance to help me with ants, i get a bounce-back error. three days later, we wake up, and a sea of dead ant bodies litter my carpet. an inch deep, they float on each other's backs, a black blanket.
i vacuum them up. i feel bad about their little ant souls. i tell them i am sorry. i will light a candle. i tell myself - this is no different than calling an exterminator. to remove yourself from the process is an act of careful self-duplicity - we would have been killing the ants another way, and just anticipating someone else handle the transaction.
how do i call someone about this? i cannot break the lease because i think the others here are ghosts. or my other theory: maybe the whole thing is a carnivore, and i am in the belly, already beginning to rot.
we cannot afford to move, it's only been six months. the heat and the lights stay on. i never invite others over. it feels wrong. we are alone here, the way we should be alone here. this is our place, for me and my dog and the rest of us. we are supposed to be here. we are supposed to live here, in this little hole-in-the-ground apartment.
we are not under any form of threat, anyway. i light candles and say the prayers our father taught us. we keep our distance from the mist ones, and adopt their way of waving, side-to-side. it is starting to look less like a wave and more like beckoning. come on, come on. something keeps us locking our door. we put up more wrought iron, even after it hit us so hard-on-the-face, which wasn't fun, and was very mean. maybe we should take it down - except i know it was so much effort to put up. oh the tub leaks and the freezer has begin to lock while it's shut. our boss says we look pale these days. we blame insomnia. it's just that it's so quiet here, sometimes. we like to make ourselves go very-quiet too, like a mouse. and then we turn that horrible white-noise machine on. we are so strange; we push salt down the drains and into our doorways, which is a waste and a bad thing to do. we do not look into the electricity problem. we fix the lightbulb without complaint. we do not send in new notices to maintenance, even when the rust on the walls starts running. we get fabulosa and scrub everything. we do not make a fuss. when our neighbors that have-no-jaw open the door for us, we keep our eyes on our dog and say thank you! and make polite small-talk. when they garble their responses let your welcome out, (no throat but the sound's so loud?)-we say haha yeah and scoot by the cold spot. we help others get their groceries out of the car even though the bags smell rotten. we do not use the basement laundry room with the single pale yellow lightbulb, even though it is so friendly and warm and free; we drive elsewhere for that, which might be lazy of me. whenever we leave, we take our dog, even though he would be fine alone, surrounded by the strange creep of rust. we are kind, and not frenzied. isn't that strange? shouldn't we be frenzied? there have been so many odd things here, shouldn't we be reacting? instead we sit in our apartment and say, casually - oh, i'm fine. how fun! how interesting. are we waiting for something? if we're waiting, which of us is hiding and which of us is hunting? we count our days on the lease - six months left! we can grow to enjoy it here. it has its quirks, but hey. sometimes staying for the location is reason-enough.
and we love it here. it's a beautiful place to grow up.
i've seen enough horror movies starring upper-middle-income white families stuck in spacious haunted mansions. gimme stories about millennials stuck in haunted studio apartments. consider the realism:
why is this protagonist staying in an obviously haunted building despite the glaring warning signs? because a week at a motel would send them spiraling into credit card debt, they'll take their chances with the vengeful spirits. why did they chose this apartment complex to begin with, despite the many many unexplained mysterious deaths that show up on the first page of a google search? hon some of us don't have the credit score to move away from high (paranormal) crime areas. how could i be so careless as to sign a soul-binding contract with a demonic entity? bitch they're called LANDLORDS
#this is so much longer than i meant it to be#but uhhhhhhhhh#low rent housing complexes as angler fish demons i guess#this one isn't gay im sorry#im sorry to my fans to my people and to the academy#i am reflecting on my choices and putting myself in Gay Jail in the meantime#posts that make you google the scientific name of pitcher plants#posts that require u to know some of the common ways of warding off malicious spirits#edit in the tags as this picks up speed: hi i love u all :) thank u for liking this piece#i love monsters that are not explicitly malicious - just hungry. i love when it isn't 2 people who are trying to outsmart each other#but instead - here is someone who thinks they can outlast the monster's hunger#(uses salt. wrought iron in the walls which gets spat out. candles. minding ya own business)#versus a monster that is VERY old and VERY good at waiting.#in the wild large predators dont need to feed as often as we see in horror movies#snakes and other swallow-whole apex predators DO get energy from the actual process of digestion#even if much slower than our own digestive cycle#..... so towards the end yes there's a pronoun shift#and there's also a conversation that's happening that i'm being very careful about#the narrator's choices which HURT the building's chance of devouring them are still first person#and/or are directly insulted in the italics#(why not use the beautiful extremely creepy laundry room it's free laundry come be eaten!!!!!)#bc . i didn't want to end this story with “then they die the end”#we leave this story at 6 months. the narrator is very smart . the narrator has lasted a long time. the narrator is doing better than most#but it is a very very very old building. and u have another 6 months there.#i don't know who wins. i don't want YOU to know who wins either#we (you & me) will leave them (the building & the tenant & the dog) there for now#i like to picture them moving out#but then i look at my rent check and the fact this is based on my real life current apartment#and i think.... what if the biggest hunting tool is just. that outside is capitalism. and there are plenty of us (u & me) in the tags sayin#''well they seem very polite. and if there's a good location & the rent is cheap...."
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so you're going to nominate america for best supporting actress because she gave a silly lil speech vetted by a brand? but not give margot a chance at best actress? or greta one for directing?
#listen i know i dont think barbie is capital G Good#n i......don't actually think i like the movie that much grojgrgjailg#BUT i will say america herself (even tho trust i do love ha) was certainly NOT the star of that movie#her performance wasnt even that good like im sorry girls#the Brand got you gjrlagj just because she said its hard to not wear makeup#but like......baby that was some noah baumbach writing that had you tearing up#(also not a true dig bc i like noah)#but like margots acting and gretas directing were BETTER than the screenplay itself#like none of this makes sense to me????#best picture but not best director? not best actress???#you're tryna say the supporting cast carried the movie????#regardless i do think ryan for ken is a good choice#its just...........the other awards they put it up for make so little sense to me#cant believe im about to say justice for barbie....a movie i've literally spent six months bashing gjrlakgjgt
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I STILL WANNA BE YOUR FAVORITE BOY | C.HS
pairing ; vernon x reader
WHAT ! ; after rejecting his bestfriend vernon is left to ponder in what he lost, now its up to him whether to make things right
a/n ; i know ive been writing alot for vernon buttttttttt whos gonna fight me..😒
VERNON swore he didnt care, if anyone asked about you he shrugged it off. the news of you confessing to vernon wasn’t shocking to anyone, the way you two looked at eachother explained everything but the part that shocked them was when he said he rejected you.
“so what? you just rejected them?” dokyeom asked sitting in front of vernon on the floor as he laid on the couch. not bothering to look up from his phone, vernon shrugged
“yeah
i dont get the big deal everyones making out of it”
“the big deal is that we all know you like them and we’re trying to protect you from regretting anything” dokyeom sighed. all he got back ad a response was a light chuckle from guy sitting on the couch. “i’ll be fine, you guys dont need to be so worried about the decisions i make”
“what if you regret it?”
he looked away from his phone for a second and thought before shaking his head.
“nah”
nah
nah
nah
now vernon was sitting at his dining table with his now cold mac n cheese infront of him. the word “nah” was constantly repeating in his hand like a broken record trying to overpower dokyeom words of regret, because maybe he was right
and vernon hated to admit it
that he had fell for his bestfriend
and especially when he rejected them first and was now feeling something about them going on a date with another person
it was weird, normally you’d stay for dinner and afterwards you both would cuddle onnthe couch while watching a movie (always of your choice) to digest, then go cuddle in bed and go to sleep. (with the many years of knowing eachother and getting comfortable with one another) its no surprise you fell for him, and he fell for you too
so it was like something, or someone…was missing tonight
the table was too quiet, too much room, he didnt like it, at all.
but vernon was too selfless for his own good to stop you now. you’re already hurt by him, so why would you want someone like him to come back to your life again?
closing his eyes, he rubs his temples as he thinkings about what happened that day. he didnt think you deserved someone like him the day you confessed to him
-
“just tell me who you like” vernon stretched out his words as he leaned towards you trying to bother you
shaking your head as you laughed, you tried to push him off but he was too persistent in bothering you
“cmon, ill help you” he said trying to convince you to at least give him a hint
“would you?”
vernon nodded his head quickly hoping your answer would be him, but why when it wss did he reject you?
“i like you”
he paused feeling his heart quicken, and out of adrenaline
“im sorry, i dont like you”
-
in his defense, the idea is much scarier than the reality. the moment he said yes, you would be stuck with him and his problems. so not wanting to hurt you he rejected you
so now why were you and him hurting?
the cold mac n cheese was now stored in the fridge as he lost his appetite thinking of you doing the same stuff you did with him to other people, let alone go on a date.
he wish he could change something about this.
so thats when it clicked
he can
grabbing a sweater and putting on his shoes he ran to his car trying to get their as soon as possible
-
well, the reality is much scarier than the idea because hes been standing outside your door for 10 minutes walking in circles while simultaneously looking around to see if any cars were pulling up to your drive way indicating your date
even then, if they did show up what was he gonna do?
beat them up?
well, maybe not.
but before they arrived and swooned your heart away, vernon hoped deep down that your heart still belonged to him.
as selfish as it sounded, maybe vernon needed to be selfish to get this one thing he wants
to be your favorite boy
not some random person.
so before his time was up he knocked on your door
and within seconds you opened it, looking as shocked as he did.
and his first words to you? (rather sighed knowing dokyeom was right)
“i still wanna be your favorite boy”
#serejae#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen vernon#seventeen imagines#seventeen#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen x y/n#svt vernon#svt#svt x reader#svt fluff#svt angst#svt imagines#chwe vernon x reader#vernon angst#vernon fluff#chwe vernon#vernon#vernon x reader#Spotify
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okay first three episodes thoughts
good
bending is cool as fuck
sozin’s actor does an amazing job at full crazy but calculated
scenery is STUNNING
monk gyatso made me cry. idk why i just saw him and wanted him to give me a hug so bad
APPA ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD AND NOT LIKE A LITERAL MONSTER
i wasn’t sure how id feel about them showing the air nomad massacre but i think the importsnt thing is that they showed it was a massacre - and that although they can defend themselves, they don’t have the ability to fight back like an organised army would bc they’re pacifists! they attacked a peaceful group
the abandoned fire nation ship in the southern water tribe looks so fucking cool
ARTIST ZUKO???!!! LETS GOOO
Dallas does an amazing job at getting across Zuko’s intense desperation
I actually ended up loving all the Sokka and Suki interactions sm it was so cute and wholesome
Katara is perfect i will kill and die for her
Azula’s opening scene being her manipulating those people trying kill ozai ultimately leading them to getting burned alive by him and smiling - literally so fucking good. she is the best villain in history of forever
really good move having the mechanist (Sai!) and Teo be in Omashu imo. having them destroy the northern Air Temple so carelessly always pissed me off
THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS ARE LITERALLY PERFECT I AM SCREAMINGGGG
I was wondering how they were going to introduce the Mechanist and Jet in a limited amount of episodes but I like how they combined the two stories
Also Sokka absolutely nerding out in the Mechanist’s home is so important to me
Zuko getting has ass beat by that lady for fighting Aang is literally so funny and reminiscent of the goofy aang vs zuko fights we see in season 1 (to be clear: i adore zuko. this is NOT hate on him)
Zuko losing shit about his notebook and trashing his room and then outing himself as a fire bender in Omashu is so perfect. god i love him so much. it’s very season 1 zuko. it’s giving I DONT NEED ANY CALMING TEA!!!
things i was not a fan of: (some of these are a little pedantic i’ll admit)
Exposition is a little is a little janky but i’ll forgive it i guess bc at least it isn’t egregious as The Movie That Shall Not Be Named
Aang leaving just to get fresh air/clear his head and intending to come back is a silly change to me. all i keep thinking about is the storm where we got those epic Zuko and Aang parallels which now doesn’t really work and also takes away a lot of Aang’s depth. A good change adds to the story, but personally this seems to take it away
WHY would they not make Katara the one to bring him back from the avatar state? just seems like a strange choice to me? not saying this from a shipping point at all but that moment is a big step to their bond/friendship especially since they have only just met
Still don’t understand why they made the head of the village Suki’s mum. like i don’t think it’s a terrible choice but they still could have let them have a mother/daughter bond but still let Suki be the leader without any implications of nepotism. it mostly seeems silly
tl;dr - really enjoying it so far!
#avatar the last airbender#netflix atla#netflix avatar#zuko#katara#sokka#aang#suki#iroh#ozai#hattie talks#live action series#hattie's natla ramblings
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a peanut allergy ꩜ .ᐟ
sxgarhan's first event
first of all i just wanna say thank you so much for getting me to 200+ followers i love you all so much!! mwah!! as promised i finally made an event and its definitely not peanuts themed cause i am utterly obsessed with the movie (definitely false i am not obsessed and my day definitely goes good even without watching the movie atleast once daily)
𝅄 ݁ ꣑ৎ ꒰ how to participate !! ꒱ ֹ ₊
— reblog and tag 3 or more moots who you think would like to join
— comment "joining" along with your favorite character from the complete peanuts
— dm me a number 1-12 to get your character along with a short description about them, try to incorporate the vibes of the character as well as you can in the moodboard
— dont forget to tag me and use the tag
◜ᵕ◝ ᵃ ᵖᵉᵃⁿᵘᵗ ᵃˡˡᵉʳᵍʸ ‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🥜 ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵛᵉⁿᵗ .ᐟ𓂃⋆.˚
𝅄 ݁ ꣑ৎ ꒰ rules !! ꒱ ֹ ₊
your moodboard must be 90% made by you
locs/dividers by others are allowed as long as there are proper credits
3 or more pictures from someone elses moodboard will be considered copying
deadline is November 20 (feel free to request extension if needed)
𝅄 ݁ ꣑ৎ ꒰ prizes !! ꒱ ֹ ₊
1st place- 50 rbs on 5 moodboards and 5 moodboards of idols of choice
2nd place- 30 rbs on 3 moodboards and 3 moodboards of idols of choice
3rd place- 25 rbs on 2 moodboards and 2 moodboards of idols of choice
runner ups (3 people)- 10 rbs on 1 moodboard and one moodboard of idol of choice
once again thank you so much for supporting me, my moodboards and my blog. good luck with the event!!!
tags.ᐟ
@taroism @aestradairio @awwriri @aeraras @amouriu @bitchey @chweso @c-heriis @cupid-l0v3r @chaeryeos @et2rnity @fluiora @fairyfaes @flaireur @florichae @floriseu @heavenurl @hyelita @hourlyhoon @haerinism @loien @madmaknaez @neapolitism @n-americano @nikist-4-n @p-oisn @purinkiss @rthym @sugarish @shuasfilm @tzulipss @wonjuii @x-aravv @y-unrei @y-vna @y-urios @seulzitos
#◜ᵕ◝ ᵃ ᵖᵉᵃⁿᵘᵗ ᵃˡˡᵉʳᵍʸ ‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🥜 ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵛᵉⁿᵗ .ᐟ𓂃⋆.˚#૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ 𝅄 ݁ ꣑ৎ ꒰ events ꒱ ֹ ₊#ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ🥜#ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#moodboard event#moodboard#moodboards#tumblr milestone#utterly is a word i never thought I'd use#super shy#jungkook#bts#riize is 7#riize is seven
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