#i just dont see her listening to music a lot i dunno

[nerves-nebula]

I know this might be kinda stupid but. do you have any music recs. specifically of the child abuse variety because I'd be very interested in that.

*sweats* ok so here's the thing- I have a playlist called "Abuse" and its full of music that is either explicitly about abuse, related to abuse thematically, or just has Abuse Vibes to me (some of which is likely inexplicable to other people)

im also kind of self conscious about my taste in music, cause sometimes it's like. i dunno. the steven universe soundtrack or a fnaf song i really like. and thats CRINGE! and really any genre of song can be about Child Abuse so it's like. idk if you'll like any of the things i recommend.

THAT BEING SAID, here's a selection i guess!! because I'm flattered you would even ask haha. a lot of these are pretty well known already tho so idk how helpful this will be. anyway this got hella long so. under the cut!

songs explicitly about or including themes of child abuse/having shit parents/having familial issues:

Guiltless by Dodie

Black by Okkervil River (narrative about a guys girlfriend telling him about her dad sexually abusing her. one of, if not the first, song i ever heard about CSA and it holds a special place in my heart)

The Mute by Radical Face

Ripple Effect by Scott Helman (kinda more about generational trauma & healing if im honest. i dont listen to it as much as the others on this list)

Poplar St by Glass Animals

Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood

Twin Sized Mattress by The Front Bottoms (classic i know)

The Family Jewels by Marina and the diamonds

Family Line by Conan Gray

Christmas Kids by ROAR (ok technically not about the kids but i find the subtext of how the kids are used in this abusive relationship horrific. also, it reminds me of my parents)

Drift Away - Steven Universe (OK I KNOW ITS NOT TECHNICALLY ABOUT THAT BUT TO ME IT'S ABOUT MY MOM. IT TRACKS TOO EXACTLY TO NOT INCLUDE HERE)

Other Abuse songs:

labour by Paris Paloma

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence (my ex wife says i listen to this song to go joker mode and i hate that because i know she means Straight Joker and not Camp Joker but i do really like the song)

I'm your puppet by Gregory And The Hawk

Eric by Mitski (REAL GOOD)

Believe Me by James and the Shame (more about spiritual abuse sort of)

Girl Anachronism by The Dresden Dolls

Thermodynamic Lawyer esq GFD by Will Wood and the Tapeworms

We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross (less about abuse and more about, like, a healing relationship. still i think you can easily read into the alluded past abuse or sexual issues going here)

Fuck About It by Waterparks

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths (this is just such an abused person song)

This Hurts by Mindless Self Indulgence (my ex wife says i listen to this song to go joker mode and i hate that because i know she means Straight Joker and not Camp Joker but i do really like the song)

Sex With A Ghost by Teddy Hyde

I Cant Handle Change by ROAR (obviously)

rotting by vivivivivi

rook by sardonica

My favorite "Abuse Vibe" songs (NOTE: some of these songs might be about abuse or toxic relationships but um. im not very smart or good at sorting so. they ended up here):

Take a Slice by Glass Animals (PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS ONE FUCK THE REST OF THIS LIST EXCEPT ANIMALS I LOVE THOSE TWO)

Animals by Stomach Book (SEE ABOVE)

Youth by Daughter

Duck Or Ape by ROAR

Million Dollar Gold Digger (idk what it is about this remix im not even a huge fan of either of the songs its mixing. this is the VIBES part of the rec list i don't have to explain myself)

I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young

Gooey by Glass Animals

Breaking Down by Florence & The Machine

Moby Dick by Jakey

Aurora Borealis by Lemon Demon (hard to justify but this song just brings such vivid "abused kid failing to be normal while hanging out with someone and further isolating themself" vibe. yes im projecting. leave me alone)

The Dismemberment Song by Blue Kid (sometimes you just wanna kill your parents)

I'M GONNA WIN by Rob Cantor (this one just feels like anger and bitterness and being suspicious of anyone who tries to help you. I listen to it when im fucking going through it. its also a bop but you prolly already know that, i think it's pretty popular? idk)

It's Alright by Mother Mother (stereotypical i know)

South Dakota by Jakey (honestly i dunno. i dont even know where south dakota is)

My Blood by Twenty One Pilots (for all you sibling havers out there)

My Play by AJR (my parents arent divorced but man i wish they were. Also, this just brings up very vivid memories for me trying to show my parents things and it is fucking crushing haha)

Best Of You by Foo Fighters (idk just more shit that reminds me of my parents)

The Woods by San Fermin (this one is just very "I should have died as a child"-core to me)

JUVY ft. Julia Bard by Nnamdi Ogbonnaya (this guy is weird and i didnt like his stuff at first but then... i came back... and now he holds a place in my heart)

Grape Gil by Nnamdi Ogbonaya (i think this is my favorite song of his. I nearly made an owl house animatic to it)

Obsession by OK GO

Better Than Me by The Brobecks

ARE WE STILL FRIENDS by Tyler The Creator

Dumb Dumb by Mazie (honestly this one just reminds me of thinking "i hate it here everyone is so dumb" and then maladaptive daydreaming for hours to escape the situation hah)

Stone Wall, Stone Fence by Gregory And The Hawk

Never Wanna Fall in Love With U by Nelward

Another New World by Punch Brothers (this one is such an explicit and straightforward narrative i really can't explain it other than like. the emotions.)

Julep by Punch Brothers (once again, the emotions)

Always Sayin' by The Littles Man Band

A NIGHT OUT ON EARTH by Waterparks

Consequences by Lovejoy

Scum by Lovejoy

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SECRETS by lil boodang (another hard to justify one. idk. it just feels like it ok. sue me)

anyway i'm sure there's more but thats just a quick selection from my Abuse playlist. and by quick i mean you better appreciate this cuz i put way more effort into this than i needed to.

[crazy-ghost-tennis-ball]

LETHIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

5, 7, 15, 20, 22, 23, 24, 28, 42 (dont have to do all of them if you dont want to!!)

Fuck/kiss, marry, kill out of everyone you've interacted with

Weeeelllll I don’t want to say any names but…

( FuckAgnusMarryDimaKillNiall )

You haven’t met Niall yet?

Do you think I care?

Do you remember anything from before you came here?

…Kinda. I remember some songs. And many things feel quite familiar.

She stared Elsewhere.

Like you!

The idiot thinks she’s staring at me and.. shes not exactly wrong? You shouldn’t be able to do that?? I don’t have a body??? And even if I did you shouldn’t be able to see Elsewhere????

You have a body, silly!

She booped a point Elsewhere. That little shit shouldn’t be able to have a physical identity Elsewhere, and I’m not supposed to fucking feel her boop my “nose”.

Can you stop saying Elsewhere? It’s annoying. I’m just booping you, not breaking the rules of the universe or anything.

You kinda are tbh

Damn. You’ll vouch for me right xxx

No.

Are you a more emotional or logical person?

I’d say emotional, unfortunately. I’d act rashly a lot, ehe~

Would you rather know the date or cause of your death?

Cause. I’ve been trying to figure that out for years.

You know the cause. You’ve always have. Stop denying it.

What was that?

It’s quite windy today, and the window was thrown open. Maybe that explains why the ghost is hearing things.

Liar.

What is your favorite childhood story?

There are plenty of stores my ma told me. Some are songs without lyrics that can paint a picture, some are written fairy tales, and some are oral ones that change a little every day. It’s… hard to pick a favorite.

I thought you liked the one about the gardener?

Cuz it was easy to remember. Far from my favorite though.

I guess I like the girl that brought fire everywhere she went.

Oooh, you always used to talk about that one.

.

.

.

How much do you know about me?

Who do you think you are most similar to?

Nobody. I’ve never seen anyone like me before.

What are your thoughts on @i-want-tennis-ball?

…They’re very nice. They care for us. I’ve always admired how Want would let others in without a second thought.

( A bit concerning how they’d give up so much for a stranger though… )

Why the fuck do I have parenthesis around my text every time I mutter. Creation.

…What? I… that’s not even a part of Elsewhere. Where are you looking to see that?

Dunno. I’m just using my eyes.

How important to you are your morals? What would it take for you to break your moral code?

With how odd she is, I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t have one entirely.

Why wouldn’t I have morals?

Well… whatever. Just answer the question.

She was silent.

What type of music do you like to listen to?

Don’t move on to the next question.

You can’t tell me what to do.

Ugh. At the very least this question made her think about her past, which made her a bit less ann-…which made her a bit softer.

The ghost chose to ignore me.

Well, I’ve always been fine with the songs my ma made for m—

So folk and classical?

No, the ones my ma made for me.

They fall under the folk or classical category, I believe. Or another type of softer music, I haven’t heard all of those songs.

Huh! Thanks. Love that you’ve learned to be useful.

. . .

[wildissylupus]

I dont know if you listen to taylor swift but I do. I was listening to one of her songs and the bridge really reminds me of Jack. Specifically after retribution. I dunno if I'm just being dumb but here use your analysis skills <3

the last point on the annotated one says "he didn't want this to happen" btw

Yeah I don't really listen to a lot of Taylor Swift, most of the time when I listen to her songs it's just songs Spotify thinks are similar to my music tastes. But from the looks of it this does seemingly fit Jack's vibe.

And honestly your notes hit me like a truck omg-

It made me want to listen to the rest of the song to see what else fits, and when I did good lord-

The first verse could be directed towards the end of the golden age of Overwatch, when the cracks first started to spread and public opinion first started to waver. It could also be compared to Jack first starting to isolate himself from the people around him, thinking everyone need Strike Commander Morrison instead of Jack. It should also be of note that I think the first verse also fits the idea of him attempting to push away people like Cassidy, Lena and Sojourn who are trying to reach out.

The second verse could be his guilt, the Rialto incident, what happened to Lena, what happened to Ana, how he bit off more then he could chew and now everyone is paying the price.

The Pre-Chorus I definitly see being a present day Jack, everyone still trying to help him but him either pushing them away or not fully listening to them. Either greeting them with hostility and walls or just plainly not getting the point of what they were saying.

[iantimony]

tuesday!

hello tuesday :) i'm going to start crossposting these onto my dreamwidth also just so i have a non-tumblr log of my weekly updates. please friend me on dreamwidth i would love an excuse to move platforms more

listening: OH i listened to SO much this week. i tuned in to my spotify release radar thing and it was a great idea to get exposed to some new music from artists i already know i like! i also peeped the discover weekly one a bit

i haven't listened to the newest paramore album in full but 'running out of time' was on the release radar playlist and i really really like the sounds! it feels very st vincent-y to me in a way that i wasn't expecting from paramore so i wonder if that was a conscious influence at all? or if they were both separately influenced by the same sources? it's really good though. i dont remember following shakey graves but they also rule i've been jamming to the whole album 'deadstock' which i think is just a collection of some of their more popular tracks? plus some live recordings. and tom rosenthal makes me cry still

from discover:

and then i found memi through...instagram reels i think? instagram has unfortunately nailed the type of music they should serve me to get clicks so i do. keep clicking them. anyways i love her

reading: quantum :V

oh wait actually i do have reading this week! i re-opened the slowly app (i downloaded it years ago but stopped using it at some point), which is a real-time penpal app - you can send letters to random people in the world, and it will send in "real time" as if you were actually mailing a letter! so i opened it and the app went oh? you're active? cool! and i started getting letters! so i got one from a guy in morocco, which i replied to right away, and also one in mandarin which i have NOT replied to right away because i had to spend like an hour translating it rip. out of five i put my mandarin proficiency at a 2 on my profile but honestly that may be too high oops. ah well. it'll be cool to try and get my mandarin back up to snuff! it'll also be a great way to learn things like idioms and other stuff that doesn't show up as often in traditional learning materials.

for example, phrase that i learned is 畅所欲言, chang4 suo3 yu4 yan4, which is a standard four-character idiom that means to speak without inhibitions or to just frankly speak your mind. i have like a full two pages of new words and phrases that i had to look up to read the letter which is awesome!

the letter from morocco was very cool and like...poetry adjacent? which im not sure if it's just because of a translation quirk - he said his english isn't the best - but i dunno. "I am writing to you because writing is a companion of the tired". anyways.

watching: i started watching evangelion with my partner!! we did ... i think about five episodes last week? it owns. this is the first time in a really long time that i've, like...gone blind into a media? my only exposure to eva has been through out-of-context memes (shinji get in the robot) and i feel like a lot of the time with TV shows i tend to read the wikipedia page before watching to see if it's really worth it :") i've never really cared about spoilers or whatever because honestly if it's a good enough show it won't really matter if i know what's going to happen or not, it's more about How it happens and how it's shot/framed/acted/etc. but i have zero context for eva and im very much enjoying it! i wasn't expecting the body horror at all it rules

making: making good progress on my embroidery project! this photo is from about two weeks ago but it's the most recent one i have and honestly haven't done THAT much more. i just finished filling that vertical headphone cord in with red, started some other headphone cord...after that all i have left is the letters (rip) and then doing maybe some sort of sashiko stitch/cross hatching as fill for the hair? like some spaced out x patterns in a grid or something like that. because i'm sure as shit not doing a satin or brick stitch to fill all that in and i think it'll still look good that way.

im also finishing up valentines gifts to mail to people :3

misc: hgg. quantum midterm on march 2. it is Rapidly approaching and im very nervous about it but in a VERY different way - this semester he's having the exams be open note and open book, which could be really good or really really bad. on the plus side i dont have to drive myself insane memorizing equations on flash cards again, most of my studying will probably be uber-familiarizing myself with the layout of the notes so i know where to reference things and also copying out things from online that might be relevant. on the minus side it means i have really no clue on how hard this exam will be. pain.

research is going. i feel like im sooo close to getting shit to work. however i am also experiencing research fomo because a prof that i didnt even know existed gave a presentation on her group for potential new students and i went wait wow that fucks. sigh. i think that's all for this week gang, gonna crosspost to dreamwidth after lunch!

[and-i-said-fewer]

HI THERE I SAW YOUR TAGS FREAKING OUT ABOUT ELBOW ON MY GERASKIER PLAYLISTS AND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

little fictions is the only album I know by heart cover to cover, but I certainly enjoy the others!

SERIOUSLY THOUGH

WHENEVER I SEND ANYONE AN ELBOW SONG REC IN THE CONTEXT OF A CHARACTER THEY ALWAYS SAY THEYD NEVER CONSIDERED IT BEFORE AND I HONESTLY THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME HAVING A NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS MOMENT

you’ve made my day

holyyyyyy shittt im so sorry i didn’t see this before but it’s only *checks watch* well over a month late !! (sorry.) but yEA my mancunian friend introduced lil american me to elbow and theyve topped my spotify wrapped (yes even above tad) the past two years lol their stuff means a lot to me and is also So Good

but fs like. again i would Not ever insinuate that elbow is Niche or Unpopular—literally played the olympics etc etc—but i do think that they aren’t necessarily in The Minds Of Fandom™️ very much. but MAN they have such a great discography and sm good songs it’s like *makes aggressive grabby claws at the air* so much potential!!!! overlooked!! unseen!! (yes i’m being dramatic. not sorry)

anyways if anyone who sees this listens to elbow PLEASE hmu i love talking abt elbow songs

aaaaannndd uuuhhhhh 👉🏽👈🏽 hopefully not beign too pushy but uhhh. if anyone here wants some fandom related recs……. i’ll just throw out a couple so i’m not being Too Much but:

hotel istanbul [listed as a non-album track under the seldom seen kid (bonus tracks version) album on spotify] - oh my god if anyone listens to One [1] song i write here PLEASE let it be this one. every time i scroll through geraskier playlists and don’t see this song i feel Robbed. to me it feels sooooo them but no one else knows about it and i lose my mind. idk if musically it fits everyone’s vibe check but Lyrically. holy fuck holy shit. like to my understanding it’s abt a guy who’s havin a shite day but this other person’s presence makes them feel better or smthn??? anyways it’s fuckinnnn haaghhh i’m- it literally goes “damn your eyes / so blue” LIKE????? i lose my mind over this song in geraskier context every time someone Please listen to it and tell me if i’m going insane or not

puncture repair [under leaders of the free world album] - man i love this lil guy sm. diff energy from hotel istanbul but i see this one as the quieter geraskier moments, the travelling together for 20 years. it’s so quiet, it’s so routine, it’s motions that are muscle memory, it’s care etched in creases, it’s thoughts traced through nerves for the thousandth time. also works from either pov i think

bones of you [under the seldom seen kid album] - i think?? this could be a yennefer song??? either abt istredd or just like her past life. also sonically i rlly like the vibe for her, dunno if anyone else’d agree w that tho

audience with the pope [under the seldom seen kid album] - ok honestly i dont know if this one’s very accurate since i wouldnt call myself an arbiter of quality yen&geralt vibes, but i do think of them when i listen to this song so,,? do with that what u will

anyway i have oodles and oodles of these but these ones that r like, supported lyrically the best ig??? sorta?? maybe not but yea ive got elbow-witcher song thoughts for Days but the other ones are maybe more vibes-based so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but if anyone’s intrigued…… i mean hmu

[imsotiredtodeath]

To All The Girls That I loved Before: Lizzie

if love is a flower’s bloom then mine would be a fine pine tree.

in recent few days my life was sucked into a searching for a stills from Lizzie that i shouldn’t loss anyway bc it would be hard to recreate that moment. after all, i dunno who would have bigger influence on my current music taste, writings, or even movies than lizzie with all of her nerdy taste bc all i know she’s beginning that i won’t allow to come an end just like how she’s dumped me on her graduation days.

i wish i could writing about her in more gallant ways instead being anonymous but even on that state im still can’t write it right and this pieces even changed its form many times, from cerpen to poem then timeline-structured to love letter format, curhat bebas and now being a narrative bc im just being clueless about how to write it.

idk if it started from a poem called “Asam” or when i found her private writing-site called chameleon-days, all i knew that i fall in with her writings since and wanna write like her.

pertama kali ketemu lizzie tuh pas ada festival jepang di kampusnya, sebetulnya waktu itu pun masih belum kenal satu sama lain sih but ive already knew her, already read her poem but yes, she doesnt knew im existed. setahun setelahnya, ketemu dan papasan lagi dan tetep sama kali ini pun masih belum kenal satu sama lain sih, tapi akhirnya setelah hari itu i make a move, im trying to find a way how to talk to her.

after i could find her twitter, i’d still remember the first thing that i just said through dm’s was ucapan hbd ahahaha. that times, she’s barely removed the date of her birthday from its facebook, dan heran kenapa i masi tau tanggalnya, how could i forget that anyway. until today, that dates immortalised on my debt card’s passcode lol atau semua hal yang butuh kombinasi angka buat pin pasti pake tanggal itu.

knowing her twt was a big first step ahead than before to knew anything about her. everyday we talked through mentions as far im concerned because on that time she’s the only active followers of mine. lines becomes blurry, a fan of lizzie’s writings now become one of whom sucked into lizzie l’s life and influenced a lot by its.

Owl City was being my all time favorite bands bc how many times i spent on lizzie’s private site that played the band song named Saltwater Room, from that on i spent a lot listening Owl City and how its now being my therapy and many many times hold me alive, thanks to lizzie anyway. i wish she still listening to owl city this day. nga cuma owl city sih, banyak lagi musik yang i knew from her, ada Birdy yang juga i suka sampe sekarang gara-gara lizzie bilang let it all go-nya Birdy bagus.

selain musik sih, hal kedua yang i begitu ter-influenced sama lizzie adalah tulisan sama bacaan. after all she was the one who moved me to write anyway. back then, i write a lot to response her poem or kinda like that without she’s even knew hahaha. my lastest poem was titled in response to Tidal Blue, that also response for her poem anyway. Tidal Blue sendiri ini puisi lizzie yang ada di buku terbitan karya temennya yang i beli karena tau ada tulisan doi di dalemnya. bukunya sendiri sih semacam jadi jimat yang kemana-mana harus dibawa, mulai pas naik gunung dulu sampe pas kerja pertama kali di malang, bahkan sampai sekarang bukunya tiap hari ada di tas, pokoknya kemana-mana dibawa, i think its weird but idc lol.

if its book, then the first book that i hardly influenced by her to buy is supernova series. i dont even think how i could read a series, in a novel format, and 6 books, but in the end i could beat her on a race to finish the series ahaha. because this novel too, i could see her in third times on some book’s seminar. waktu itu nga heran sih kalo liat lizzie bakal dateng, cuma ada satu momen yang nerbener bakal susah dilupain. pas waktu antri buat ttd buku, she’s just standing on front of me, pake backpack oren, sepatu maroon, antri pas banget di antrian depan. i could say anything that times, emang udah kenal sih lewat twt tapi masi ragu buat nyapa atau masih mikir mungkin lizzie belum tau i, jadinya yha waktu itu cuma diem antri dibelakangnya aja. i ever write a poem based on that situation to reminisce that moment someday dan itu adalah satu momen paling deket sama lizzie.

novels also being part of how we’ve finally met, one of best moment that happen between me and lizzie because after many years being her fan, i could met her in person. so many times i wish i could ask her to met since we’ve already close that time, we’ve just talk everyday i got his personal chat account but i’d always slipped the chances because too dumb slow. surprised when she ask to tuker one of her novel with mine, its just the same novel but she want the versions of mine lololol yang makin heran tuh sebenernya novel punya saya dah buluk banget sementara punya lizzie waktu itu masih baru, heran mau-maunya haha. book from her was the second things that i got from her, since the first was bengbeng.

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[heyitsyn]

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

[gaykey]

Hello, I was wondering if you have some reactors that you like and you can recommend lately I found out that I have no patience for some people is like as soon as they pronounce shinee wrong im like im out 😪 I dont know maybe im getting old lol

oooooh, i get you, because ngl, so many reactors get on my nerves, anon.

i hate watch a couple of them

atm though, hmmmm

(btw, these are channels that are posting regular shinee videos, as opposed to some of the bigger ones that only really do mv's as they drop.)

i'd say idongsoo is a good channel. her shinee reactions are funny, but also very interesting due to both of the ladies being industry professionals. they offer some really good insight into the process of making albums, choreo ect. dongsoo is a hardcore shawol too lol, she even has 6v6 merch jfjdjsks

also, i enjoy some of kkoko3op's shinee reactions. i know a few people have said he's a solo taemint, but i just think he has a strong taemin bias. and, if you watch his shinee videos, you can tell he loves them all a lot.

genkila is fairly new to shinee, but he's not too bad with what he has to say so far. he seems to like key a lot. he's still learning but he's got the spirit.

seoul connection. i like how quickly she got sucked into shinee lol. she literally saw dcm and that was it. also that she's really gone all in and tried very heard to get to know all the members personalities and style.

rjkpop. on his shinee journey and slowly working his way through their stuff. he's posting shinee reactions every friday, and seems to really be enjoying them. strong taemin bias but i'd say he has a good apprection for them as a group.

sir austin. i'm a bit on the fence with him tbh.....idk, i'm just super picky, and he's rubbed me the wrong way with a few comments he's made, but overall, he has some good points, and is a key bias so

blue shiver. he's super sweet. he discovered shinee through watching jinki's 'lucky' performance with rosé on sea of hope, which is just lovely. he's fairly new in the journey but he is plowing through content so you can tell he really likes them.

greyvoidd. i really like him. he's another one that's got sucked into shinee real quick, and he really enjoys their music. he's going all the way back to the beginning. watching live stages, doing full albums listens, the lot. definitely full babywol status now. it's lovely to see.

and uhhhh, i dunno, that's it? i can't think of any more off the top of my head, but there you go.

[aestheticallyunaesthetic17]

100 questions and answers

Who is your hero? Probably future me, i want to be able to grow up and be the better person that i hope they are, and the only way of knowing that is by making it happen.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? New Zealand, Canada or USA. I lived in TX for 3 months and loved it there and I have family in NZ and Canada.

What is your biggest fear? Wasps, 100%. Not being stung but the way they look scares me.

What is your favorite family vacation? When we went to Krakow in Poland.

What would you change about yourself if you could? My skin color. I hate it so much.

What really makes you angry? People hating others or stopping others from being themselves.

What motivates you to work hard? To make future me happier than I am now.

What is your favorite thing about your career? I want to be in cabin crew, so probably the traveling.

What is your biggest complaint about your job? Being away from family.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Getting through the shit 2020 brought me without killing myself.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment? No kids rn.

What is your favorite book to read? Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman

What makes you laugh the most? My boyfriend.

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? Freaks. I was a bad movie, a little like the scary movies franchise. My friend was scared at parts which was super funny to watch

What did you want to be when you were small? An actor. Typical Leo ;)

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? They can be anything they want to be.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Visit Edinburgh alone.

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? To watch, American Football. To play, archery.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Drive a car, it's peaceful and warm. I would blast music.

What would you sing at Karaoke night? no idea.

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? Heart and Capital

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Dishes or vacuum.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work? Yard work!!!

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? Tandoori Prawn curry.

Who is your favorite author? Jacqueline Wilson or JK Rowling (only her books, not her)

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? Just Em. But id like to be called Millie.

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Depends on the surprise tbh, I like to plan a lot.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? Watch a movie.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii. I was meant to go this year but covid and leaving the US fucked it up.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? Work the perfect job, id get bored sitting around all day.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? my boyfriend.

If money was no object, what would you do all day? Travel and see the world.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 2012. To see my Nana again.

How would your friends describe you? Stupid.

What are your hobbies? Traveling, photography, music and shopping.

What is the best gift you have been given? Forgiveness from myself.

What is the worst gift you have received? Sixe XXL jacket when im an XS

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My macbook.

List two pet peeves. - Breaking trust - Bad table manners

Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully working my dream job, maybe moved to a different country and traveling the world.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? too many, roughly 16

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? Invisibility or teleportation.

What would you do if you won the lottery? build my own house

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.) Train, its so relaxing. Then planes.

What's your favorite zoo animal? Lions or tigers.

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? My time in America.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? - My nana - my bf - Princess Diana - Obama

How many pillows do you sleep with? 4, two on each side.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? 26 hours, traveling to Texarkana from Edinburgh.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in? Idk tbh

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? looks for intelligence because then you can earn enough for plastic surgery.

How often do you buy clothes? 1/2 a month

Have you ever had a secret admirer? Idk I guess so.

What's your favorite holiday? Summer vacation Christmas for an actual holiday

What's the most daring thing you've ever done? Moved half way across the world and lived with strangers.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV? Nothing

What was the last book you read? 1984

What's your favorite type of foreign food? Indian

Are you a clean or messy person? Both, but relatively clean

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Millie Bobbie Brown probably

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 1 hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Kettle

What's your favorite fast food chain? Chick fil A (i know, i cant buy it now tho)

What's your favorite family recipe? Nana's bacon and egg pie

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? LOVE

What's your favorite family tradition? Opening gifts on Christmas Eve

What is your favorite childhood memory? I dunno really, Ive forgotten a lot of my childhood.

What's your favorite movie? Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Beautiful Boy

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Probably 7/8 but I dont remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty.

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Said i'd come back one day.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island? A boat and food. Yes i am that person.

What was your favorite subject in school? Scottish school, geography. US school, government.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? Haggis

Do you collect anything? Foreign coins

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion? Skinny jeans, my ass looks gooood in them

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert that likes being sociable

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? hearing

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise) nope

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? my dad is well know in the whisky business. Has his own prime tv show

What do you do to keep fit? Walk a lot and swim.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken? nope

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce? everyone is equal.

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why? Scottish School, my geo teacher. US school, my english teacher.

What three things do you think of the most each day? My bf, my mum and America

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Sad, angry and anxious

What song would you say best sums you up? 17 again

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland

Who was your first crush? a boy called Finlay who i rode the bus with

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window? sheep or cows very often

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 5

Where do you see yourself in 10 years? kids, married, settled down and happy. moved countries 100%

What was your first job? never had one

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? 5sos

How many languages do you speak? 1 - english

What is your favorite family holiday tradition? opening gifts on Christmas Eve

Who is the most intelligent person you know? my mum

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? a cat probably or a tiger

What is one thing you will never do again? trust people fully

Who knows you the best? my bf.

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Odd Eye”

oh mY F UCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

OH MY F UCKING GOD THE SONG WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS??????????? DEAD ASS?????????????? THAT BEGINNING SOUND ALONE TRIGGERED MY FIGHT OR FLIGHT AND THEN IT JUST CALMS DOWN YET MY BRAIN IS ALREADY F UCKING LOSING IT- ITS THE GUITAR ALL THROUGHOUT AND HOW I JUST HEADBANG WITH EVERY HIT OF THAT DRUM OR WHATEVER THE F UCK FOR ME- pls calm down okay i just……………………… leez…… ollounder…………… i oWE YOU MY LIFE- the way the prechorus is so FAST???????? like whaT IN THE ACTUAL F UCK the way it hypes me up with that instrumental the DRUMS GOT ME BOUNCIN AND S HIT AND GET SMACKED IN THE FACE ODD EYE I SWEAR TO GOD I FELT A NEW EMOTION AFTER THA- AFTER THIS WHOLE SONG TO BE HONEST-

THE?????????????? LINE DISTRIBUTION?????????????? IS SO SE*Y?????????????? THE IMMENSE POWER IN SIYEONS AND YOOHYEONS VOICES I CANT- ACTUAL SUA RAPPER CRUMBS idc what yall say minuscule sua rapper crumbs THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG AND DAMI LINES IS F UCKING DELICIOUS 😩😩😩 HANDONG VERSE CHORUS AND BRIDGE?????????????? DAMI BRIDGE??????????????? ‘LIVE IT UP’?????????????? BICTH IM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forgot to do this for boca so imma do it here kinda

YES YOOHYEON START THE SONG

THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG?????????????????? I CANT BREATHE??????????????????????

and ofc her ooOOOooOOO-

sua rapper crumbs idc idc-

YOOHYEON AND SIYEON BEING QUEENS OF CHORUSES AGAIN ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE GO👏OFF👏

jiu ‘no more utopia’ AND sua ‘no more utopia’ pls took me three (3) tries to type ‘utopia’

LIVE IT UP YOURE SO RIGHT QUEEN YOU BETTER RAP YOUR HEART OUT

JIU AND HANDONG CHORUS

THE F UCKING BRIDGE CHANGED MY LIFE

okay for the dance i will be using the mcountdown fancam BC I DO WANT THE F UCK I WANT 👁👁 I JUST WANNA SAY i lit rally CANNOT believe how stable they are dancing LIKE THAT™ thE POWER THEY HOLD ANYWAY as always the dance always S L A P and is literally impossible to dance to without feeling like youre absolutely f ucking d*ing and out of breath……………… LOVE THAT

THE BEGINNING EYE FORMATION ARE YOU KIDDING ME-

im delusional but lowkey deja vu clown me idc idc-

THE SUA RUNNING OUT OF THERE THE JIU THE COMPLICATED HAND STUFF

JUST👏THE👏CHOREO👏FOR👏THE👏CHORUS👏BICTH

siyeon doing this

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

putting a bullet point for just that one (1) second of dami doing That™

handong right after…………………………………

gahyeons part with the other members doing different moves my eyes liked it

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE I DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE

like jiu and dami with handong ive literally watched that for five hours-

i just like the way they lined up and needed it to be linked here

THE SPIN THAT K*LLED US ALL

THE KICK THAT SENT US SIX FEET UNDER

S C R E A M……………………………………………………… Iconic™

DO YOU SEE THE BUDGET IN THE VISUALS JESUS CHRIST- the f ucking set up all of the effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of the lights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of thE GLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the black and white set and theyre wearing red…………………… the red and white set and theyre wearing black…………………… that purple and green place…………………… the tree and random nature but everything is so futuristic looking…………………… dunno why yoohyeon is in a graffiti covered restroom but im LIVING for it- SIYEON SURROUNDED BY THOSE TVS DAMI IN THAT TRAIN THAT MULTICOLORED PLACE WHEREVER SUA IS EXCUSE ME- I COULD LITERALLY NAME EVERY SCENE IN THIS DAMN MUSIC VIDEO AND THEY👏ALL👏SLAP👏HARD👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

THE WHOLE F UCKING THI-

jk ill name some😊😊😊again id name everything but ill just show one i liked more than others bc this is alreADY TOO DAMN LONG-

this is self restraint btw

I FEEL THREATENED-

helL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF I CRIED????????????????????????

this is here for no reason other than bc i wanted it here-

OOP-

OOP- x2

………………………………… F-

WHY OFC I HAVE TO PUT THIS HERE

ABSOLUTELY…………………………… ABSOLUTELY

OH F CUK-

it was this or the close up shot either way it k*lled me

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

😦

OH NO-

OOP- x3

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

honestly let me just mention i really clowned and set myself up for heartbreak bc the album is only called ‘road to utopia’ but i assumed theyll find utopia bc thats how trilogies work but then this slaps me in the face- what im saying is im 🤡

T H E M

oK A Y SO THIS POST IS LONG ENOUGH ALREADY LIKE GODDAMNIT COULD I JUST SHUT UP FOR TEN (10) MINUTES PLS- SO HERE ILL JUST SAY ONE (1) WORD………………………………………………

W O M E N™

plus this truly is long enough good god-

JIU

OH BICTH SHE GRABBED ME BY MY NECK RIGHT AT THE START WHEN SHE JUST POPPED UP- lemme just talk about this screenshot for a second the STREAKS IN HER HAIR and THE PIERCING???????? THE JACKET???????GOOD GOD????????? L I S T E N her outfits during the dance scenes the R E D especially jeSUS- its that red one for me im pretty sure some of yall saw me go F E R A L™ on the dashboard about it so i WILL NOT go into it again- and theN THAT DRESS A F CUKING QUEEN LOVE TO SEE IT

SUA

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO BRING UP THE VERY START WITH THAT SLOW MO- RED👏IS👏HER👏COLOR 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏  the dark hime cut………………… the choker on both the red and the black is it the same one doesnt matter im d*ad……………… yo her wavy hair and that dress when it looked like she was in some hair shampoo commercial bicth i liVED FOR THAT- and theN T H I S YES THIS THAT IN THE SCREENSHOT the leather and the jacket the writing on her face i waNT HER TO BEAT ME WITH THAT LIGHT-

SIYEON

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IM LITEREALLY CRYINNG

I SWEAR TO GOD I SCREAMED EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON THE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls breathe yes i see that orange coat with the collar and her two different colored eyes and how she is sitting in that chair i see her looking so fine in that red outfit especially near the end of the mv oh mY GOD- those pants yall bringing that style back from boca literally let me bREATHE FOR LIKE TWO (2) SECONDS

HANDONG

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTENLISTENLISTENLISTEN my eyes legit started tearing up when i saw her so soon in the mv yall DO NOT understand the emotions im going through to rewatch this mv again and again anD- iiiIIIIiiII CANNOT FULLY EXPRESS MYSELF BUT I JUST WANNA DIRECTLY MENTION THOSE CRYSTALS AND HER HIGH PONYTAIL SHE MADE F UCKING SURE TO SHOW OFF HOW POWERFUL SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOHYEON

YOOHYEON WITH BUNS??????????????????? THAT LIPSTICK COLOR RIGHT AT THE START???????? THAT OUTFIT WITH THE RED PLAID SKIRT????????? like when you REALLY look at the outfit the polkadot jacket and the tie makes not a lot of sense but she made it woRK!!!!!!!!! okayokayokay her lip ring and dance outfits lets talk about it to be honest its something about that chain that hangs on her torso that makes it really hit………………… but like the entire outfits HIT™ she ripped her pants didnt she

DAMI

I CANT STAND THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell me why for literally one (1) second of that ‘live it up’ it snapped my neck???????? it was HARDLY A FLASH OF LIGHT YET IT WAS ENOUGH TO HURT ME- i prefer her short hair but listen the longer hair is making so many points rn- i think i said that for boca too… SHES LITERALLY SITTING YALL AND YET HERE I AM- the jacket the necklace the gloves and then that dramatic spin and the leaves OH MY GOD- DID YALL👏SEE THE WAY👏SHE KEPT👏FEELING👏HER NECK👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHYEON

GAHYEON THE WOMAN YOU ARE- i wanna start with the black hair and thee stickers look bc i wanna buT WE LOVE NOIR BY SUNMI but like i love that look like overall????????????? she literally wears the same outfit for that and this screenshot but the vibe is so different i LOVE this purple color she got going rn and that black hair IS A STATEMENT imma be more open here about it but lowkey i am genuinely missing her dark hair rn- anyway THAT DESIGN AROUND HER EYE WITH THAT RED OUTFIT BRUH DO I D*E-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

IVE NEVER BEEN SO FERAL IN MY LIFE

Wind Blows

this instrumental……………………… holy god????????????? its chill for like a second in the beginning and then it just YEETS you in- imma be real i wasnt sure about that ‘wind blows’ part i dunno why i ……… into it at first but yknow whaT THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS DAMIS RAP I SWEAR- but then the prechorus parts are so chill??????????? is it bc its handong its probably bc its handong ‘always be with you like gravity’ siyeon pls- it gives me the same energy as tension and break the wall where i feel like i jusT GAIN ALL THE STRENGTH AND CONQUER THE WORLD yes i saw the dance multiple times it k*lled me every single time

Poison Love

literally what the f uck- when i heard it in the highlight medley i knew i was gonna LOVE this like i cant stand how much i love their sexy bops like dami got me immediately ‘why do you?’ YOURE RIGHT DAMI WHY DO I- you could NEVER go wrong with lower register dreamcatcher NOTHING👏CAN👏GO👏WRONG👏 DAMI AND GAHYEON THEIR RAPS JESUS CHRIST i put my hand on my heart i was so taken aback- maybe i went back to replay it a few times when i was listening to it and then handong……………………………………………………… UH ANYWAY-

4 Memory

JIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE THE HAPPY AND BOUNCY AND FUN BOP OF THE ALBUM- like ive said this to a few moots that this song just makes me happy and lifts up my mood its the little instrumental parts in the chorus for me i dunno what it is its just pleasant to my ears and then damis rap is so fun like :cccccc cute- like this is a song about the seasons and wanting to be with someone (well jiu help write this is this about like insomnias or am i a stupid clown-) like i REALLY WISH i could express how much i enjoy this song but i would just be repeating myself that its a feel good happy song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New days

DAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE i dunno how to describe the energy this song holds except ‘friendship energy’- its literally the guitar all throughout the song for me LIKE i feel like im just wrapped in a nice hug BUT NOT JUST ANY KIND OF HUG its the kind that the other person opened their jacket and theyre holding me and their jacket is around me listening to this song yall i kinda wanna cry i dunno- everyone sounds so lovely especially jiu pls her voice is so soft and DAMI OFC HER RAP GETS A HELL YEAH™ FROM ME like the ‘find you’ AND THEN AT THE END ‘FOUND YOU’ IM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (if yall cant see its the pleading puppy eyed emoji)

LIKE WHAT A WAY TO START THE F UCKING YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so in awe of everything about this as SOON AS SOON I SAY i saw the very first photo teaser and i COULDNT STOP LISTENING TO THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY AND THE TEASER WITH THE SUITS AND THE DRINKS IS STILL LIVING IN MY HEAD- alright alright ill calm down for this part but its one of my FAVORITE ALBUMS FOR👏SURE👏 like i really cant think of any criticisms regarding anything about it!!!!!!!!!!!! since im posting this after promotions are over (odd eye promotions anyway) i will just say im EXTREMELY proud of what we have accomplished as fans and what the girls have achieved during this era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hella wild all around and i am once again saying that im very happy to be an insomnia <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

and ONCE AGAIN JUST ONE (1) MORE TIME RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 

IN CONCLUSION: THIS ALBUM TAKES ME TO AN ENTIRELY NEW WORLD AND IM GONNA LIVE IT UP

AND AS ALWAYS:

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

[azure-seadragon]

*GETTING TO KNOW THE MUN:

NAME:  Avery NICKNAME:  Cobalt (online alias), Ave/Aves (Irl nickname) FACECLAIM: do not perceive me <3 (jk, i just dont have one lol) PRONOUNS: she/her HEIGHT:  5′5″ :( BIRTHDAY: July 9th AESTHETIC: modern lesbian vampire forced on beach vacation with human family? uhh i dunno what to actually call it? words. LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO:  Kill the director, The Wombats FAVOURITE MUSE(S) YOU’VE WRITTEN:  Solana probably IS my favorite <3 though my close second is probably my merman oc. edgey garbage boy, lives deep under water.

*GETTING TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT:

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON THIS MUSE:  as i played through more of the game, past the intro bits, a character that was meant to just be ‘my player character’ took on a life of her own and i couldn’t stop drawing her and writing things about her backstory, and what she’d do if she could say more then the game offered- i wanted her to have MORE to her, and i missed roleplaying since most of my roleplaying buddies had eventually stopped roleplaying or stopped being friends of mine.. sooo i decided to give this a shot <3 i’ve yet to yet regret it, lmao everyones been literally so awesome~ WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE: i feel like shes got a lot of nuance to her. on the surface she seems like one of my fave archetypes, a very rowdy and flirty rogue- but deep down shes got a lot going on, a lot of self doubt, and struggle to find purpose with who she is and WHY. she and i also share some things, such as our very strong attachment for people and crippling dangerous loyalty that sometimes ends up poorly. and that aside, shes just a very fun character to play <3 i adore my stupid lizard lmao WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING:  oh, music 100%. the amount of time i spend just zoning out and imagining plots to music is. a lot. FAVOURITE TYPES OF THREADS:  i like having a set beginning, and disussing plot points and ideas as we go- generally i kinda like just seeing where the muses interaction takes things, as it feels more natural?? but honestly you’d be hard pressed to find a type of thread i’m not cool with. you wanna plot everything out? im down! wanna literally wing the entire thing? cool! something else? sounds good to me~

tagged by:  @vierandancer tagging:  @ashenbun, @halcyonic-aether, @scholarly-dragon-girl, @protection-and-pleasure, @of-the-wine-dark-sea, and anyone else interested <3

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

im sending a submit since i write WAY too much!

This is for the matchups! You can do this, or the letter i sent, or both, or neither, i dont mind lmao

Looks: I’m around 5'4, 120lbs, hourglass figure (large chest, tiny waist, wide hips). I have long brown hair that’s often dyed MANY different colors, with side bangs that swoop to the right (if you were looking at me). I’m very petite, at one point i was able to wrap my whole hand around my ankle. I often wear makeup that pops out (lots of vibrant colors), unique earrings, platform shoes, hoodies, and torn jeans! I also have natural stretch marks bc of how im built, along with a lil stomach.

Personality: I’m not very social, so when you meet me im very quiet, very closed-off. Once you get to know me a bit, I’m very crazy, kind, and playful! But once you REALLY get to know me, I’m snarky, crazy, blunt, and often call people names like “idiot” or “bitch” AS A JOKE, so it can often come off as wrong if you don’t know me.

Issues I Have: I often get too scared to be open, and when i tear up/cry I’ll hide my face, since I was told i was “too emotional” and to “not shed a tear” when i was younger. I get anxious of what people will think if I’m honest, so I’ll do what I’m told, even if i dont want to just so people dont get mad at me. I have moments where I feel alone, like people forget about me, just like everybody else. I hate failing, and i handle my emotions on my own, even when i know i shouldnt.

Things I Like: Plushies, alternative music/clothes/etc., anime (duh), makeup, art, classic disney movies, animals.

Ty hun! Im sorry this has so much ^^

~~~~~~~~~

Alright I LOVE doing matchups with the ladies bc come on. The aot/snk ladies need some love! 

I hope you’re okay with me projecting my absolute ENDLESS love for this GORGEOUS human right here…

nanaba! 

GOSH OK, just HOW GORGEOUS?!?! her hair? her lil nose? omfg

just ENDLESS love. 

I feel like you and Nanaba would exude such power, just so much power. You with your gorgeous colourful makeup, and Nanaba with just a lil concealer, maybe some mascara? I DUNNO WHY I can see it, and I love it. 

Your kind of alternative look would also mesh well with nanaba. I feel like shes more the type whose aesthetic would switch depending on how she feels? So sometimes you two are both hard as hell, and sometimes, she’s the opposite of you, and either way, its so super cute.

She wouldn’t mind if you were snarky, and would probably snark you back (gosh is that even a word?) if you two were close. 

Nanaba also screams protective to me, so would defend you to no end. Someone will have to restrain her if someone hurt you, because oh ho she is gonna CUT someone. But, despite all that, when shes with you, she just…big ball of mush around you. She would get you all the plushies and listen to your regiment of rotating the plushies so everyone gets equal cuddle time, and the both of you take the rotations very seriously. art on your days off, or watching Disney movies and letting you snuggle against her with a tissue box at the ready? muah beautiful perfect. power couple! 

Valentines Day Event 

[paulcotter]

Please tell me all about your love for t swift. This is the content I need in my life.

god yes okay. i’m gonna put this under a read more before i even start because i have. so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to say

okay so like. i’m 24. young millenial, old gen z, one of the inbetweeners maybe, right? so many of my peers (esp post college) grew up with internet from day one (or early enough that they don’t remember not having it) but i’ve only had internet in my house for like. the last 9ish years? with a gap in the middle

so all of my music was from cds. and when i was like, 10/11, i gained access to taylor’s self titled and i just. fell in love! her country twang! her heart felt lyrics about not fitting in! the outside!!!!!!!!!!!! mary’s song about falling in love with your childhood best friend!! (jokes on me that was comphet and we’re both gay now) the spicy homophobia in the original picture to burn (i know i should be mad at it but that version goes so hard!!!! it’s fine!) i was hooked

fearless and speak now are records that i have like, major nostalgia for them as albums but also? and this is a hot take because people hate  her first few albums: some of her best work. I have this super vivid memory of being in a car with two friends listening to better than revenge and trying to impact the internalize misogyny in our freshman year of high school but not having the words for it.

(also side note: breathe is the best song written. ever. by any artist)

red and 1989 were ones where i was hesitant with the lead singles (god, i’ve said it so many times but with the exception of st she always picks one of if not the weakest songs for her lead singles and i hate it so much) but i was like, okay i’ll give the album a chance. 

red is. red is so good. i love the way she reimagines these songs on tour now and how it feels like such a pivotal moment in her growth? this album is bangers only (the bsides dont’ get the respect they deserve. girl at home! the moment i knew!) and yeah all to well is sad but have you ever listened to the last time? i almost do? this entire album wrecks me to this day.

1989 is (and no one agrees with me) my least favorite album. does it have some of her best individual songs? yes, no doubt. but as a whole the album just. isn’t the one i love the most? which i know is a hot take because people love this one so much (and like, i am attached to it still. i still love it. my partner and i got together around the time it came out and used to listen to it together and i remember us disagreeing about shake it off when it dropped and i just. i dunno. it has a special place in my heart)

god, the scandal and the drama pre/during rep is. something. i really thought even then that so much of it was blown out of proportion/literally if it was any other artist people wouldn’t have cared? (not that i’m saying taylor’s perfect. i’m a big fan of being critical of what you consume / engage with) but god. rep (like self titled) doesn’t get the energy it deserves. and maybe i’m biased. this is why we can’t have nice things and new years day came when someone who had been my friend for over 15 years just....stopped and the album felt right, for that time in my life. it felt like what i needed and home and a place to let out all the bad feelings i had. (tho, if taylor wanted to redo this album with just like, piano and strings? unreal how stunning that would be)

lover and folklore are a softer thing, and i feel like both make so much sense from where she started? it’s really where you start to really see her personality a lot again and you get this wide range of subjects in these two albums and i just. this is her collaborating to make beautiful, beautiful music 

and like. i grew up with taylor. she’s older than me, yeah, but i’ve got to be here and see her grow as person in real time. that’s been so so so rewarding for me, and seeing her find her voice on politics (yes she could do more and i hope she does!) and start just. not caring what the media thinks? i’ve cried every time i’ve watched miss americana. she’s just. she’s trying, and yeah thats not much, but it’s more than we get from so many artists and it really seems like she’s learning and doing the work to be better and maybe she’ll disappoint me, but she hasn’t yet

[strangerthingsharrington]

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-5-

“The week is long. The silver cat feeds, when blue meets yellow in the west."

We all stood there in silence after reading the half of the code we had translated. And by we, I mean Robin.

"Wait what?" Steve asked.

I looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Robin questioned.

He looked from us back to the whiteboard and back to us again, "Are we all reading the same translation?"

Dustin, Robin and I looked at each other before letting out little laughs. I shook my head before picking up my bags and heading to the front of the shop.

The others followed, Dustin and I stood just outside the entrance and waited as Robin and Steve quickly closed the store since the mall had been closed for the last twenty minutes.

"That was pretty good just for working on it today," Dustin told me as they shut the lights of Scoops Ahoy off.

I nodded, "Robin's a master," I chuckled.

I looked over at him as he smiled, Robin came out and stood next to me, beaming.

"Our little Russian translator," I said as I ruffled her hair which made her laugh.

Steve came out and pulled the gate down, where he locked it quickly.

"I mean...it just...it can't be right," Steve said, talking about the translation.

"It's right," Robin defended as we began slowly walking to the mall entrance.

"Honestly, I think it's great news," Dustin added, looking proudly over at Robin.

Steve scoffed, "How is this great news? I just...so much for being American hero's! It's total nonsense."

"It's not nonsense," I interjected, looking back at him.

He looked over at me and jogged to catch up with me.

"It's too specific, it's obviously a code," Dustin stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What do you mean, a code?" Steve asked as he fell in step with me.

Dustin looked back, disbelieving, "Like a super secret spy code."

Steve, once again, scoffed, "That's a stretch."

I hummed and looked at him as Robin piped up, "I dunno, is it?"

"You're buying into this?" he asked her.

She hesitated only for a second, "Listen, just for kicks let's entertain the possibility that it is a secret Russian transmission? What did you think they were gonna say 'fire the warhead at noon'?"

"Exactly," Dustin said, extending his arm out to Robin.

"What do you think, Lou? You've been quiet," Steve said.

I looked over at him and shrugged lightly, "I agree with them. I mean...if you were going to send out a transmission you wouldn't want just anyone to be able to crack it. It makes sense, to me, for them to make it into something that not everyone would be able to figure out. Something so...so weird that people wouldn't even know where to start when it comes to translating and cracking it."

Steve opened his mouth but closed it quickly, sending me a small noncommittal nod.

"My translation is correct, I know that for sure. So...the silver cat feeds, why would anyone talk like that if they weren't trying to mask the true meaning of their message?" Robin definitely posed a good question.

"Exactly," Dustin and I said at the same time, but Dustin looked back at Steve with a wide eyed 'told ya so' look to which Steve made a face back at him.

"And why would anyone wanna mask the true meaning of their message, unless their message was somehow sensitive," Robin kept going on her train of thought.

"So I guess that confirms your suspicions," Robin told my little brother.

"Evil Russians," Dustin concluded.

I smiled a little and rolled my eyes slightly. What else could I do. Dustin didn't seem to be wrong here.

Robin looked back at me and Steve, "I can't believe I'm about to agree with your little brother but yeah...evil Russians."

I shook my head and looked over at Steve, who was looking in my direction but not right at me.

"Steve?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me before taking a few steps towards me, grabbing my hand that wasn't holding my bags from my earlier shopping trip. Before I knew of the evil Russians.

Regardless of what my feelings about Steve were during school and how I thought he was an asshole, the heat on my face was enough to throw me off a bit still. I was confused about why he was acting so nicely to me, even though lots of the evidence was pointing at him possibly redeeming himself over the last little while.

He pulled me over to a mechanical horse at the kiddie rides and looked over at me, wide eyed.

"What?" I asked quietly.

He gripped my hand tighter before he reached into his pocket hastily with his other hand.

"I need a quarter," he muttered.

I put down my bags and let go of his hand, then dug into my bag for my wallet.

"Lou?" Dustin called.

I pulled out a quarter and handed it to Steve, "Thanks," he told me quickly.

"You tall enough for that ride?" Robin asked with a laugh as her and Dustin walked over to us.

"Shut up," he sassed back.

"What are you doing?" Dustin asked.

"Will the both of you shut up and just listen," he said as the ride began moving.

The music...it was the same as the recording.

"Holy shit. The music..." I said looking over to Steve.

"I knew it I heard it before," he told me, his eyes were absolutely wild looking.

Dustin quickly pulled out the recorder and played the message again. The music was unequivocally the same music that was coming from the kiddie ride.

"Okay," Robin started, "so they have some musical kiddie rides that like in Russia, so what?"

"An Indiana flier? Doubt it," Steve said looking at the name of the ride that was posted on it.

"So wait...that means that the transmission...it didn't come from Russia," I said, looking down at my little brother.

Dustin was wide eyed, he looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"It means....that this came from Hawkins...right here at Starcourt," Steve concluded, effectively finishing my sentence.

I had never wanted to leave somewhere quicker than I did right then and there. It was too close to home. Maybe right under our feet.

"We should go," I said quietly, as I grabbed my bags from the ground, "never know who might be around in an empty mall."

We all jogged out of the mall and stood together in a circle out in front of the main doors.

"Okay, well, tomorrow we'll keep working on it. We'll figure it out and I dunno...maybe talk to Hop or something," Robin suggested.

"I agree, let's just go home, regroup and come back tomorrow," I stated.

Robin looked into the parking lot, "My moms here," she told us, "see you all tomorrow," she said, walking over to the bike rack.

I looked in the opposite direction at the bus area, "Come on, Dustin, let's go. See you tomorrow, Steve," I said, looking briefly at Steve, before poking my brothers shoulder.

"You're gonna take the bus?" he asked us.

I looked at him again, "Yeah, we didn't call our mom so the bus is just easier now. She won't wanna come out now," I explained.

He shrugged, "I can take you guys home?" he offered.

I grinned but shook my head, "No no, that's okay, Steve thanks."

He pulled his car keys from his pocket, "Seriously, let me drive you guys. It's late, I dont know if I trust the bus this late."

Dustin stepped over next to Steve, "Yeah come on Lou," he said with giant eyes.

I sighed and looked behind me, the bus wasn't anywhere in sight. But did I want to be stuck in a car with Steve for an extra ten minutes longer than I needed to be?

"Okay," I agreed looking back at the two of them, Dustin was grinning like a madman.

Steve nodded with a smile, "Okay, it's right over here."

He led us over to his BMW and unlocked his door, and then he unlocked the rest of the doors from inside. I went to the backdoor but Dustin bumped me to the passenger door.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

He looked at me and smiled, "Older sibling privilege, remember?" he asked, before opening the back door and jumping in, closing the door behind him.

I sighed and opened the passenger door, I put the bags on the floor and got in, closing the door gently.

"Ready?" Steve asked me.

I did up my seatbelt and looked over at him, "Ready," I confirmed with a smile.

"What time are you working tomorrow?" Dustin asked.

"Ten to nine," Steve responded.

I kept looking out of the window, watching the streets and houses pass us by, like I usually did. It had all been too much to take in today. With the Russians and translating a code and Steve being a decent human being.

I was still harbouring some ill towards Steve, but I didn't think that would change any time soon. Or ever for that matter. Him not making me feel like shit, or buying me a drink, or driving me and Dustin home doesn't make him a fully changed person in my opinion.

But.

There was no denying that he was at least a tiny bit different though. He didn't seem to have that weird like...vibe around him of being overly pretentious and an all around asshole.

Maybe I was reading too much into it.

But we were involved in this whole evil Russians in Hawkins thing so, we had that going for us now, I guess.

"Yeah you can pick us up, that'd work out better, right Lou?"

I looked away from the window and behind me to Dustin.

"What?"

He raised his eyes brows and shook his head slightly, "Steve? He offered to pick us up and take us to the mall since mom is working tomorrow? So we can decode the rest of the message?"

My eyes shifted to Steve and saw him take a peek at me out of the corner of his eye, "No, that's fine you don't have to."

"It's really not a big deal, Lou, I figured you want a ride rather than the bus again," Steve said.

I sat facing the windshield again and toyed with the hem of my shorts, "It's out of your way, Steve. It's fine."

Steve chuckled, "It's like, four minutes out of my way, it's really nothing."

"I dont know about you, Louise, but I'm gonna get a ride, you can take the bus alone if you really want to," Dustin piped up.

I rolled my eyes, "Wow, a true gentleman," I said sarcastically.

"And yet you're not taking the ride offer from Steve?"

"Maybe it's because that's too early to be hanging out with you, Dusty."

"Insanity. You don't have a choice because we're going to decode a Russian message, Lou. Should have thought of that before."

"Maybe you should think about shutting up."

"Oof, ya got me!"

I laughed a bit and shook my head, feeling a small sense of relief at seeing my house come into view.

"Fine," I relented.

Steve parked the car in our driveway and turned to face me, "Good, so I'll see you in the morning?"

"Sure," I confirmed with a small nod.

Dustin's head popped into the front between us, "And me too."

I smiled and opened the car door, "Yes, Dustin we know. You're the only one anyone wants to see."

He stuck his tongue at me, "See you tomorrow, Steve," Dustin said, pulling his head back and getting out of the car quickly.

I was out of the car and scoffed at my brothers retreating back, "Don't even offer to help with my bags!"

"Don't worry, I didn't!"

I smirked and leaned into the car to grab the few bags I had, "Did you want some help?" Steve asked.

I breathed out a laugh, "No no, I just like to try and make Dustin feel guilty but it never ever works pretty much."

He smiled at me and nodded, "Gotcha."

I grabbed my bags and took a step away from the car, "Okay...well thanks for the ride, see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Lou," Steve said before I closed the door and walked around the front.

"Louise?" Steve called.

I looked back at the car and saw that he had rolled his window down with his arm hanging out.

"Yeah?" I called back to him.

He hesitated, "Do you drink coffee?"

I tilted my head with a small smile, "What?" I laughed.

He laughed too and ran a hand through his hair, "Answer the question!"

"Yes!" I told him, while continuing to laugh. What a strange question.

He nodded with a large smile, "Okay...alright then I will see you tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face, "Bye, Steve."

I turned back around and walked through the open door, I turned to face outside to close the door and saw Steve still sitting in the parked car looking my way.

I raised my hand and offered a small wave, he waved back to me, before finally putting his car in reverse and leaving the driveway.

I closed the front door and locked it, turning to the living room where I spotted Dustin sitting on the couch watching me.

"What?" I asked, before walking past him to the hall.

"What 'what'?" he asked as he followed me to my room.

I opened the door and walked to my bed, dropping my bags onto it, and removing my bag from around my shoulders.

"I literally don't know what you're talking about?"

He scoffed and sat on my bed, I sat next to him.

"Steve," he said, elongating his name.

"What about him?" I questioned.

He nudged me with his shoulder, "Still think he's a giant douchebag?"

I rolled my eyes, "I know that he was a giant douchebag."

"But is he still?" he shot back.

I rolled my eyes and look at him, "What do you want from me, Dust?"

He shrugged, "I want you to try to admit that Steve isn't that bad of a guy anymore. You have to realize that now that you've hung around him today."

"I think there were many more pressing things on my mind today...for example the evil Russians that are probably here somewhere in Hawkins."

He hummed, "That's true. But, see, the thing is, is that I like to know when I'm right, so if you could just tell me that I am, I'd be good for the evening."

I looked over at him and flicked his nose, making him mumble a small 'ow' before I laid back on my bed.

"Steve doesn't seem to be as douchy as he was during most of high school, does that work for you?" I asked as he laid next to me.

"I'll take that," he agreed.

"So," I began, "how the hell am I supposed to sleep knowing that there are evil Russians in the town?"

He hummed, "Just close your eyes," he said simply.

I turned my head to look at him, only to see him staring up at my ceiling, "That simple, huh?"

He closed his eyes, "That's how I seemed to sleep after everything else that's happened."

I furrowed my brow, "Everything else? What everything else are you talking about?"

He opened his eyes and scratched at his neck, "You know....with Will missing and being dealing with the cops that night...the lab and everything....you know?"

"Dust," I said quietly.

He turned to look at me with sad eyes, "Yeah?"

"You've...never told me about what happened with all that...Will missing and everything that happened that night," I prodded a bit.

He nodded and sat up, with me following suit.

"It was...a really weird time, Lou...I cant really get into it," he murmured.

I sighed and nodded, "That's okay, Dust. I know that was a rough time...sorry, you just never talk about it is all."

He looked over at me quickly, "I'm gonna head to bed," he told me as he stood up, "see you in the morning," he said wearily before walking out of my room and closing the door silently behind him.

Dustin Henderson was hiding something from me. Whether is was about Russians or about something more that happened when Will went missing...there was something.

Title credit to REO Speedwagon and GIF credit to owner.