#i just don't understand san's duality at all

[maximura]

[the-boy-meets-evil]

favorite kpop group(s): tag game edition

thank you for the tag @ugh-yoongi ily 💕

who is your favorite k-pop group?

seventeen, bts, ateez, wayv

which member sparked your interest first?

seventeen: mingyu

bts: i don't fully remember, but i think namjoon

ateez: mingi

wayv: ten

who was your first bias?

seventeen: i thought mingyu was hot, but first actual bias was dk

bts: hobi

ateez: mingi

wayv: ten

who is your current bias?

seventeen: dk & dino

bts: hobi

ateez: mingi

wayv: ten

what makes them your current bias?

hobi - just the brightest human, complete sense of comfort. i love the way he supports his members and how passionate he is. i love to watch the way he expresses himself. i also love the stupid emojis he puts on everything lol.

dk - probably not a surprise with hobi, but i also love the sunshine. he smiles and i smile. i love to listen to his voice, it's so soothing. and it makes me want to protect him when he feels like he's not talented enough (then crushes something like arthur).

dino - i am such a sucker for a good dancer, so danceology was it for me. i love the way he's constantly tortured by his members. i love seeing the way he's grown up to realize it's okay to relax when he's not in front of a camera.

mingi - at first it was: wow he's tall and hot. i love the duality of him going from that intensity on stage to just being so soft off stage. i love when we get to see more of him with his solo stuff. i love watching the way his talent just keeps getting stronger.

ten - i get mesmerized watching the way he moves. there's something so beautifully fluid about him. i love the way he endlessly pokes at the members. and i adore how much he loves his cats.

who is your bias wrecker?

seventeen: hoshi, wonwoo, jeonghan

bts: jimin

ateez: wooyoung, hongjoong

wayv: winwin

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

seventeen: mingyu, minghao

bts: yoongi, jungkook

ateez: san

wayv: xiaojun

when did you first discover this group?

seventeen: 2020

bts: 2021

ateez: 2021

wayv: 2021

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

seventeen: twice

bts: twice as a group, once for dday

ateez: once

wayv: not yet

what are some of your favorite songs by the group?

seventeen: i don't understand but i luv u, super, fear, trauma, light a flame, moonwalker, adore u, monster, ash, cheers, my i, don't wanna cry, left & right, hot, clap, heaven's cloud, mansae, run to you, idk i love their entire discography

bts: again, i love so much of their discography, but - blood, sweat & tears, ddaeng, all the cyphers, ugh, intro: boy meets evil, jamais vu, spring day, save me, run, black swan, lie, really all of wings, anything hobi has done solo, idk

ateez: wonderland, deja vu, say my name, halazia, hala hala, wave, guerrilla, django, be with you, fever, good lil boy, take me home

wayv: love talk, rodeo, on my youth, regular, moonwalk, turn back time, miracle, phantom, diamonds only, poppin love, bad alive, domino

tagging (no pressure): @wongyuseokie, @seokgyuu, @beomcoups, @varietae, @horanghater, and anyone else that would like to do it

[putschki1969]

Hi Sarah! How's everything going? ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ I wanted to ask you if you know of any interviews were Consolation (the song) is discussed. Also, what is your interpretation of the song? I was randomly going around YT and got to hear this amazing piece live by our utahimes and got curious about it. Hope I don't bother you, thank you in advance!~ヾ(・ω・)

Hi there!!

Sorry, my reply is long-overdue. This has been sitting in my drafts for a very long time. “Consolation” is hands down one of Kalafina’s BEST songs, I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Especially the live version from their 9+ONE tour. Everyone needs to check it out in case they haven’t yet.

Back when the album was released I wasn’t as involved in the fandom as I am now and my Japanese was also not that great so I didn’t really know of any interviews where they discussed the song in detail. I had also never really taken a close look at the lyrics before.

Oh well, I thought I would use the opportunity to dig a little deeper. After a quick search I came across two interviews that provide a bit of insight regarding the album and the title song. I also tried to delve into the world of the lyrics and see what I could come up with.

My simple interpretation based on my findings 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

I believe the song is fundamentally about the dilemma of wanting two things that are mutually exclusive. On the one hand you wish to find peace, relief and consolation but on the other hand you are greedy and you cannot stop wanting more. Since it seems you can’t have both you resign yourself to finding solace in the suffering you are enduring while struggling to fulfil all of your desires.

Below the cut you can check out my interview and lyric translations〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

Repotama Interview

Re album title and concept: Humans are greedy creatures by nature. There is a constant struggle to fulfil one’s own desires and ultimately there is also a wish to feel a true sense of comfort and consolation. However, one can never reach a point of absolute satisfaction but we might find consolation in the fact that having needs and desires is the only constant in our lives.

Re song: Due to its “coined words chorus” the song becomes quite exciting for the listeners. Our three distinctive voices are heard very clearly, Hikaru expresses a “fierce energy and determination regarding the fulfilment of one’s desires” and Wakana changes the song completely with her soothing and comforting vocals conveying a sense of “finding consolation amidst your struggles”. The duality which is expressed through those two voices enables you to fully enjoy Kalafina’s singing power.

Animate Times Interview

Re album title and concept: Consolation, relief and satisfaction are usually seen as something that stands in glaring contrast to our desires but maybe true comfort and consolation can be found within the suffering we are enduring in our constant pursuit of happiness and our struggles to fulfil our desires.

Re song: ――The title song『consolation』 feels extremely passionate, hard and energetic. One of its charms is the use of rare words such as  「むごたらしい / mugotarashii / incredibly brutal」, something that might not work for other songs.

Hikaru：I sang this word with a sense of unease, like feeling trapped *laughs*

Keiko："This song is hard so you can’t just use ordinary words in it”, that’s what Kajiura-san told us smiling wearily, this was one of her main worries regading the lyrics *laughs*. The melody is dramatic and the overall sound feels hard and unforgiving. When we listened to the music track my first impression was, “oh my God, this is so hard, where am I gonna breathe?” Kajiura-san’s inspiration for the music is also heavily reflected in the lyrics so I guess that’s why she was seeking out words that are rarely used in everday life. She also opted to have lines that are neither Japanese nor English but instead Latin. We have had elements of Latin in our songs before but in this particular song we all thought that Latin would be a particularly perfect fit.

――The part where you sing ＜Quo Vadis Domine？＞ right? The passion of the song and the Latin really go well together.

Keiko：It means＜Lord／Where are you going?＞. Since this is the title song of the album I think that Kajiura-san chose the lyrics very carefully in order to encourage many different interpretations, the words are supposed to stretch one’s imagination. Initially I thought the words were very difficult but as time went by I realised that the words were actually quite simple and raw. People seek comfort and relief, in order to reach that goal we are living our lives filled with greed, always thinking, “I want this or I want to be like that”. Hikaru is the one embodying this determination, this bundle of desires with her fierce vocals. Wakana on the other hand is the one who is asking with her voice, “is there any relief or consolation awaiting me at the end of it all?” I think those two things come across very clearly in the song.  It’s been about a month since we have finished the album production, after talking with Kajiura-san and singing the song together with the other two members as well as singing it by myself I think I can finally say that I understand the meaning of it. Also, I think the song was very difficult for you Wakana, wasn’t it?

Wakana：Yes. I sang this without any boundaries which was quite fun but it was also very hard. There are parts of the song that make total sense and other parts that are completely inconsistent, as such the song feels very raw and human.

―― There is a sense of “self-contradiction”“, like you are stuck having to choose between mutually exclusive alternatives. ＜Yet the greedy heart keeps reaching out / Unable to give up / Until it sleeps, satiated / It’ll take the darkest path＞. These lines very clearly express this sort of self-contradiction, on the one hand you are greedily seeking something while at the same time you are hoping to find peace and solace. I guess that’s a very human thing to do.

Wakana：Kajiura-san told us,"comfort and consolation are the opposite of desire, aren’t they?” People are motivated by their needs and desires "because comfort alone does not provide satisfaction”.

English Lyrics (taken from the Consolation booklet, with a few minor alterations)

Breathing alone won’t make wishes come true Please grant me tears and sorrow So I may go in deeper

Your God, so brutally beautiful Loved only those that were destroyed utterly and furiously

Quo Vadis Domine? A voice that can hardly be called a prayer I know one day your wishes alone will be answered

To the base of the taut sky We carry our burden And walked in haste as if to run away

Slowly, the first stars Shed light on your way Glittering in the pale depth of the valley

Quo Vadis Domine? One day I hope you will find consolation But if the heart remains wanting It will be unattainable

Yet the greedy heart keeps reaching out Unable to give up Until it sleeps, satiated It will take the darkest path

The soul that wants to devour all Spit out the dream it had clung to And shouted, “have mercy on me!”

Quo Vadis Domine? One day I hope you will find consolation When all has been burnt to pieces I believe you will finally reach your goal

[binnie-binnie-bambam]

Ok so:

1) I'm fucking dying right now 😂😂😂😂 Kjersten I love you so much you have no idea

2) the first thing I thought of when I saw this alert was "Welcome to the dark side, we have Shiber." Don't ask me why because I don't have an answer as per usual

3) WHOOP I TOLD YOU YOU COULDN'T STAY AWAY FROM THEM FOR LONG I KNEW THEY'D SUCK YOU IN BWAHHAHAHAH

4) before I actually read the post I said to myself "she's probably gonna fall for Hongjoong and be the most surprised about Wooyoung and she'll just see Sanshine and not [S]at[an]." So I'm decently proud of myself for knowing you pretty well 😂

Ok onto my thots lmao because I have lots ahflwnxljx

Hongjoong:

Just, like, I told you so 🤷🏼‍♀️ but yes smol leader, must protecc

Seonghwa:

Caring mom friend: ✅ Angular hawk-like looks: also ✅ but the sad /hilarious/ thing is 90% of the time, he may look sharp aka pointy, but he doesn't actually look very bright aka intelligent 😂😂😂 he's basically a bald eagle like you look at him from an angle and he's so ethereal and stunning but then you look at him straight on and he has that one face he makes and your just like "omg he looks so dumb I love him". Idk maybe that's just me 😂😂😂 yes ASMR 👌🏻 and yeahhhh the whole b[aby]ull s[hark]hit kinda scars you for life lmao you're welcome

Yunho:

YESSS OMG I JUST HAD A REVELATION THANK YOU FOR POINTING OUT THAT HE HAS SOOBIN VIBES BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHY I HAD THESE /SPECIFIC/ FEELINGS FOR THEM BUT YOU SAID THAT AND I REALIZED THEY'RE THE SAME /SPECIFIC/ FEELINGS I HAVE FOR SOOBIN SO THE WORLD MAKES SENSE AGAIN THANKS MAN also, Yunho kinda just bitch slapped me and I randomly fell for him, so that's been fun 👍🏻

(also: ISN'T HE THO??? 😭😭😭 But no there is SUCH a shortage of Yunho love on her, you have no idea! My baby deserves all the loves 😭😭😭 I love him so much I absolutely HAVE to sob about it 😭)

Yeosang:

YES. SPOOKY. LIKE MINHO. SPOOKY LITTLE ALIEN BABIES HIM AND MINHO. But like yeah, I'm honestly so soft for him 😖 he's so precious and I just *explodes into a million heart emojis*

San:

haha. Hahaha. MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA. "I'm just falling for the trap and will curse myself later on." Bingo. You do not understand the level of evil that sweet face hides 😈 but no like duality at its finest for suuuuuure when it comes to San tho. Like he really is the sweetest cuddliest most adorable little bean there ever was (please see: him getting excited over seeing the ocean *cries for the rest of my life because of cute*) and I would die for him hands down in a millisecond (for any of them tho I mean duh). But he's also very, very, VERY rude on stage. He can't help it he's pretty! Just be warned 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mingi:

😂 I had a feeling you'd love this giant watermelon sunshine baby boy I mean he's really hard not to love tbh he's just so bright and his laugh is contagious and he's literally the embodiment of summer and I completely adore him 😭

Wooyoung:

😂😂😂 ikr omg he and I would get along great honestly but no one would have functioning eardrums anymore 🤷🏼‍♀️ but yeah San and him are batshit crazy together and girl, I know you love best friends, you will love Wooyoung and Yeosang's bff story, I legit cried and still cry over it because it is the sweetest most wonderful most beautiful bff story ever and excuse me 😭😭😭😭 like seriously, research that shit, it's the cutest. Also, idek how to describe this boy. The word my dumb brain is telling me is "addictive" ❓❓❓ Like he's so loud and annoying right? But something about him makes that annoyingness.....idk you just want him around all the time because you want to be annoyed by him because it makes you love him more??? That makes no sense I know but I just, he's really special to me and I care about him in a way that's unique from the others and idk how to describe it 😂

Jongho:

He's so intimidating right??!? I'll never understand how this scary little bean is the maknae. Totally thought he was the oldest before I knew anything about Ateez. But also, he may be terrifying but I just wanna hold him and cuddle him for eternity 🤷🏼‍♀️ (KJERSTEN I LOVE YOU "you have dumb-arm" OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 😂😂😂😂😂)

I would seriously lay down my life for the entirety of Ateez in no time flat.

So welcome to the Atiny family, I will be your highly excitable guide if you need me. Please don't give San any more plushies, he has way too many. Jongho does not need more fruit, he already has war flashbacks. Seonghwa (mom) needs a break, seriously. And, well, they really are all the best boys 😭

Ok I need to shut up 👍🏻

So I guess I'm gonna have to actually stan Ateez now bc a 13 year old girl told me to

I have actually tried to stay away from this group as much as possible so that when I did end up stanning them I could have unbiased clean slate initial reactions

That being said, here are the few snippets that I do know before watching any guides or interviews or music videos, and my only points of reference being small amounts of exposure via tumblr and having heard some of their songs (on Spotify recommended. naturally):

Hongjoong: I swear to the Lord I had no clue he was the leader for sooooooo long. Aly once was like "oh yeah, the leader of Ateez used to have a mullet but he cut it recently" and I was just like "THAT'S THE LEADER??" I thought he was like. maybe second youngest or smth... ajdkakaka

Seonghwa: I thought he was the leader for literal months.... (I knew he was the oldest so idk why I thought that?? cause like leaders usually tend to be the second oldest, that's like a pretty common pattern. but yeah for some reason I thought he was the leader until Aly told me it was Hongjoong)

Yunho: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Is this a member?? I would not have known. I am so sorry, but also I feel like that isn't really my fault. Clearly there are not enough Yunho stans on Tumblr bc I know absolutely nothing about him from Tumblr osmosis (or at least I haven't retained anything).

Yeosang: This one I know is a visual? Apparently he is J's bias? That's about all I know so far.

San: The impression I have gotten is that he's very disrespectful given the amount of times I have seen people referring to him as S(at)an or something similar

Mingi: I'm pretty sure he is a rapper (I think?? right?) and for some reason his face gives me some kind of vibe but I cannot for the life of me put my finger on what that vibe is ????? Is it familiarity? Does he remind me of someone or something? Maybe I've just seen random images of him enough and he just looks familiar bc I've seen him a lot w/o knowing who he was? Idek 🤷

Wooyoung: wILL YoU bE My FRieNd? (aksjdjakak) also like. the most vivid image I have of him from the snippets I have come across on Tumblr is a gifset I saw of him in a button down shirt that was like. half unbuttoned. just doing bicep curls and drinking water and looking into the camera like a fucking frat bro. So yeah. that's my first impression of him 😂

Jongho: I know he is the maknae and that he's an irl fruit ninja?? I just remember seeing a video of him singing and casually ripping apples in half??? I'm so frightened by how strong he must be? What did apples do to you? Pls reveal your dark apple related backstory and why you have made it your mission to rend every apple on Earth in twain.