#i just can't get past my perfectionism but I know if I don't post this now I never well :x

[thenotsolittlelady]

Decided to redraw and colour a sketch of my gobbo Veez~ I miss the grumpy bastard <3

[phantomarine]

Hey what were you trying to say in your “it gets good at page 1001” post

Was it more of a comment directed at yourself ( self degradation), is it satire about perfectionism,

Is it supposed to be inspirational for Beginners webcomic creators, or we’re you just in a bad mood?

More of a warning against self-sabotage, because I see it so much. Sometimes it's tied to perfectionism, sometimes it's the opposite - people surrendering to imperfection when they don't really have to.

Creator chat incoming. I'll put it under the deelybob for anyone who wants to read it 👇

I've been in the webcomic sphere for several years now and I've seen so many people introduce their comic with 'I know it's very long and not easy to read, and I won't be going back and changing anything about what I've already made - but please critique it so I can make the rest of the pages better and attract a bigger audience from now on.'

And that's a hard thing to respond to. If a reader can't get through all those existing pages without being confused or bored, then how can they get to the good stuff that lies past them?

So much of gaining an audience is about actively making it easy to 'fall into' a work. Without that easy entry point, it's always going to be an uphill battle to build an audience, no matter how good the later chapters get. There are outliers, but most webcomics won't be those outliers, especially with thousands of them available nowadays. Some people love the grind, but most people will jump to a new tab and try to find something less frustrating.

And webcomic creation is particularly cursed by its very nature. Creators are hesitant to go back and edit pages, even once they've figured out more details about their craft or story structure. It's mostly because of the seeming permanence of it all - the art takes ages and the words feel unchangeable if even one other person has read them. To go back and edit is to publicly admit your failings, right? That's how it feels. What do you MEAN you didn't get it right the first time? You were supposed to do it live, and do it PERFECTLY!

But ideally it shouldn't be any different than prose writing, which is ALL ABOUT finding the story in those edits. And because your story is digital, you can go back and change things whenever you feel like it. A webcomic is fluid.

And if you're thinking 'I should just redraw my whole first chapter' - NO! Hell no, old art can be a part of the appeal! It's far more about finding little tricks to convey your story/characters more clearly. I have read some first chapters with janky art that made me fall completely in love with the story and cast. It's not about the art - as with all things comic-related, it's about conveyance.

Examples I've seen and some I've used myself: A single extra page with a meaningful interaction can solidify the theme of a character's arc. One additional 5-to-10-page scene can help add visual context for an offscreen event where there was none before. Adding a map can tell people where the characters currently are. Changing a character design can help if they get often confused with another character. Redoing your lettering to make it more legible is a huge one too.

In the end, I just don't want people to be afraid of small edits. When I got feedback about the bad clarity of my own work, I knew it would take some time to fix those problems. It wasn't fun to think about or to do, but I'm glad I did it in the end - because it would have limited my audience tremendously. With just a bit of extra effort, I opened a door that wasn't there before, and it now leads more people even more easily to 'the good stuff.'

tl;dr You started your webcomic for a reason, and you're learning more things about its characters, story, and craft every day. Don't be afraid to go back to old pages and inject some of that wisdom through editing. Even a little can go a long way.

***Caveat: If your goal is to just create chaotically, with no goal of gaining an audience, you are a wild and free little thing, and I am in awe of you. This whole rant doesn't apply to you, and you are stronger than me.

[mercurygray]

You're always getting mad if someone else is doing something you can't quantify. You get mad if someone writes your favourite MOTA character in the tag, because you didn't or couldn't just yet or whatever, to the point you need to discuss it with others on Discord to get past it. You get mad now because you see other people writing. If this is you online, I don't like to see what you are in real life. This is tyrannical and abnormal behaviour. You're trying to be cutesy and make it palatable when discussing it and it's not. It's arguably abusive. You don't own canon characters or what other people do in their spare time. Coming on here to even vent about it is low-key abusive because you're acting like it's our fault you feel like that and not your own. There's no taking of responsibility or sign of you actually changing your toxic mindset. All you do is talk yourself off a ledge or get others to do it for you. Go and see a therapist ffs

Usually I delete these, but hey, it's Sunday and I have a little bit of time.

Perhaps you're right. Perhaps what I just said was hurtful. If it was offensive to you, I apologize.

Right now I am feeling a little out of control of my life, and as a response, I am posting about it on my blog, on the internet, where people usually post about things that are bothering them. I know I have a history of change management and perfectionism issues that I have previously worked with a therapist on.

I have a single tag on this post that I've been using for a long time and I don't think is very common, so I don't think it's a tag you track. I don't have any keywords I can see that would make this show up in a different tracked tag, and you're referring to a number of things I've said over the last two years. This ask is very similar in tone to others I've received previously.

In which case: perhaps it would be better for you to unfollow me. Or better still, blacklist or block my username! I will literally never know. I'm sorry my space or energy is not doing it for you. Perhaps you should remove me from your tumblr experience. I feel pretty confident you could get a lot of fandom stuff from this blog from other people.

I can't call you a friend, because I think if you were, you'd reach out to me directly under your actual username and tell me that I've hurt you.

[petra-creat0r]

Annual Update 2024

Alright everyone! New year, new updates for all my stuff!

Starting with ...

AtDFF and AYC

(The new signatures for my main art, AtDFF, and AYC)

As some, and by that I mean most of you have probably noticed, I rebooted AtDFF... again. I technically started a revamp all the way back in 2020 where I was redrawing the older updates to better match the current style and reformat the asks and text for better readability, but that didn't impede on the main updates (well, besides putting more onto mine and the rest of the team's work load.)

The Reboot

This past year though, I made the decision to completely reboot the comic for a few reasons. One was an attempt to renew my motivation, another was wanting to rework some of the lore, yet another was being inspired by @askfallenroyalty to remake the comic and post to ComicFury, but I think the main factor was... I wasn't all that happy with it. I think I kept comparing it to other comics, especially Fallen Royalty, which is my own issue, please don't go blaming anyone else. I knew I could do better, especially after over 5 years working on this, but now looking back, part of me feels that, rebooting it again is, in a way, diminishing those years. Even with the 2020 revamp, prior to it you could go through the updates and really look at how my art has progressed, and though true you can still scroll and find the old updates, it's just... not quite the same. Same can be said for the 2023 reboot.

Does that mean I'm going back on the reboot? No. I already have the next updates planned (I just haven't had a chance to work on them that often) and I really like the new lore of the world that I've come up with. I just think this will be the last time I ever reboot the comic. Whatever happens, happens, and I need to just roll with it. Even if what happens is our little roadtrip getting derailed into a corn field again, lol.

Comic Fury and New Comic?

With that said, what do I have in store for the new reboots of AtDFF and AYC? (yes AYC got rebooted too, I just haven't posted the first update like I did with AtDFF) Well, I mentioned a Comic Fury, which surprise. Both AtDFF and AYC have their own Comic Fury pages now! Don't worry, I still plan on posting to Tumblr as well, but now you can also find them on Comic Fury. Along with another comic I'm planning to do (eventually), Undertale-ish: The Comic. Ever wonder what Ish Frisk's journey through the Underground was like? Want to see what happened in most (not all) of their 800 runs? Want to see this child grapple with their self insecurities, perfectionism, and the responsibility of having full control over time and an entire civilization's lives in the palm of their hand? Want to see Chara as a ghost? Well that's what you'll get with Undertale-ish: The Comic! Coming I don't know since I such at scheduling and time management for these things!

Schedule

Speaking of scheduling! When are any of these comics coming out? Well... I just said I suck with schedules, and I can't promise really... anything when it comes to release but like... I know I for sure would like to release things... regularly? Even with the start of the reboot, I started it in April, and that stuff extended until at least August. Every summer I naively think "Oh! I'm gonna have so much time to work on the comic!" and then I get a summer job. Because I'm nearly 20 and going to college and even if I'm still living under my parent's roof, I can't entirely rely on my dad to pay my tuition. Only for half the year. Then during the school year, I have classes, and I feel burned out by the time I get home, and- It's a whole thing I need to find someway to work around or else nothing gets done and my brain just screams at itself. So, I think scheduling is something I'm gonna figure out throughout January, and try and get a backlog of updates ready throughout February to April or May so maybe we can start posting again in summer. Does that feel like a long wait? Even being near a year from the first update of the AtDFF reboot? Yes. But also I'm trying to over estimate and give myself the time and space I need while still attending college, and I wouldn't just be working on one comic update, but multiple. I'm trying to give myself space and some grace instead of making promises that feel hollow after a while of being unfufilled.

Lack of Motivation and How to Fix

Another thing to address, is my motivation when it comes to these series. I don't think it's accurate to say I've felt completely unmotivated to work on either comic, I mean, I was motivated for some of the beginning of last year to full on overhaul them, but I will say that, these comics have started to feel like a job. It's been something I've felt for a couple years now, where I've been having less fun with the comic as it's begun to feel like actual work. Believe me, I'm super excited for some of the later plot points of both AtDFF and AYC, and I love Undertale-ish and these characters but to get to those points or character moments, it feels like I'm slogging through what comes before it, which isn't good. This is something that sure, rebooting helped for a bit, before I got caught up in school and other stuff, but it's not a permanent solution and I've felt myself slipping back into the comic feeling like a job.

So how might I remedy this? Well, I think the solution might lie in another series I started this year, Drawing Junior Secret Squad until Chapter 3. Even if DJSSuC3 is more Deltarune focused, I've enjoyed drawing Chicago and my other fankids pretty much daily as, there's not that much pressure on it. Definitely not like there is with AtDFF or AYC. I don't have to line, or even color them since, they're just little doodles. I don't have to worry about missing a day since, I'll just do multiple the next day. They're quick, they're easy, I can just draw whatever idea I have with the characters I want, I'm having fun. Back when Ask the Dreemurr-Font Family was nothing but an ask chat on Amino, that's what I did it for. For fun. I wasn't worried with popularity or being like other creators, I just did silly little character driven roleplays for fun. I think that's been my issue with the comics. They aren't fun anymore. They're work because, I feel it's my job to tell this story rather than just... telling it because I want to. So, I think going forward, I'm gonna try to have more fun with the comics and Ish in general. For you all, that's probably gonna look like more sketches and doodles getting posted and maybe even just sharing small comics based off ideas that pop into my brain or from roleplays that happened in my server. Little things to help me regain the enjoyment I had with these comics and world.

Deltarune: Fool's Fate

I think that's all I've got to say on the Undertale based comics, so how about now we move onto something Deltarune related? As I was doing DJSSuC3, I introduced an idea called Deltarune: Fool's Fate. Aka, Chicago and Co's adventures through the Dark Worlds after Kris denied their destiny. So far, this has just been little doodles, character designs, and a roleplay I've been doing in my discord server. I've been having quite a bit of fun with that RP, we're nearly to the end of what would be the first "chapter" and have been fighting Dorothy, the secret boss of the Attic Dark World and who some of y'all might recall I made a real life doll of when my old computer finally kicked the bucket earlier this month. (I've still yet to make her dress or crown) I think roleplays have always been the thing I find the most enjoyable when it comes to character exploration as, I don't have to spend forever drawing comics and I get to sorta live through the characters. It's something I've been doing for characters from even before I was in this fandom. With the Fool's Fate roleplay too, I've also got to come up with elements that could feasibly be in an actual video game without, you know, actually coding a video game.

I don't know where Fool's Fate will go from here, while it'd be cool to have it be an actual fangame, I don't have that sort of skill. Nor the budget to pay a team. (My team for the comics is really just a bunch of friends I convinced to help me out for free.) Even with a sprite comic, it'd be too much. So, for now, it'll likely just remain a concept and roleplay. But, who knows. Maybe someday I could make it into something. I mean, after watching this year's Underevent I wanted to.

Other stuff

With all the UTDR stuff out of the way, what about some of my other stuff? (Because, surprise, Undertale and Deltarune aren't the ONLY things I do. Just the things I hyperfixate on the most.) Well, I've got my Fakemon region, Azmayca, POW-R, Dragon Riders, and Kinder Eyes which I started last summer. I don't really have any plans for them, asides from bugging people for ideas and doodling whenever I'm in the mood. However I think starting this year, I'm gonna try to post more of the doodles I make. Either ones in my sketchbook since DJSS gave me the confidence to post sketchy silly little doodles like that, or sketch doodles I draw digitally as warm ups. Though who knows. Maybe a hyperfixation swing some time during the summer will cause me to actually try to do something crazy like outline the whole Azmayca region and hypothetical game. Hopefully not something like that though. Making the evolutions of my redesigns of the starters might be nice.

Commissions

Another thing I'd like to finally do next year is update my commissions sheet. It's something I've had in the work for a while now, and was working on along side launching the comic updates. But, like the comics, school and work got in the way so... I sorta forgot about it. Regardless! I'm gonna try to post my updated sheet some time within the next few months, it's mostly just been havin to draw or find recent examples of my work. Hopefully then I'll actually get some more commissions because, um *looks at the whooping $3.94 in my checking account* I could really use the extra money. I might work during the summers and get grade payments from my dad but, that stuff is to pay my tuition and some of my lunches during the semester, and even with lunches, 500 dollars is spread thin through 17, 16 ish weeks. That's like, only $30 a week, which is maybe enough to cover buying lunch at the campus food court like, once or twice from the food court. Maybe three times if I'm lucky and conservative with my spending. Not to mention that $300 of that went to my new laptop, and even if I should be getting $300 from a paycheck I was never paid back when I worked at Arby's 3 summers ago, I still haven't gotten that gift card in the mail so... Yeah. If I was living on my own, I'd be screwed. Which is why commissions and Patreon are like, my only source of income during the school year. (I still need to look into getting an on campus job for this upcoming semester but that's its own whole big can of worms.)

Patreon

Speaking of Patreon, that's another goal I want to set. Actually posting to it again. I had a burst early last year were I was regularly posting to Patreon with early access chapters of The Puppet and the Real Boy (before I retconned that with Fool's Fate) and thanks to my only Patreon ever @kierangecko, I managed to make around $50 bucks which ended up being used to help get blanks for some of my Christmas gifts for people (thank you Gecko. I know I did stop posting after like, May, but that money really came in handy.) So for this next year, I'm gonna try to post to that again. Be it WIPs of the comic, scripts, little doodles I don't post on Tumblr or whatever, I want to make Patreon another source of income. Which involves posting to it at least monthly. And even if I don't, then you guys won't have to worry about anything since I've got it set to not charge for months I don't post anything.

Resolution Review

So, to review some of my... I guess you could call them resolutions, though I'd rather think of them as goals I don't absolutely have to hold myself too but would just like to accomplish, I'd like to...

Have more fun when with AtDFF and AYC through drawing and posting more loose, silly comics and doodles

Try figuring out a posting and work schedule for AtDFF and AYC by then end of January

Hopefully get a back log of updates for both comics ready to release by summer

Start on and release Undertale-ish: The Comic sometime this year

Keep doing Drawing Junior Secret Squad until Chapter 3 until Chapters 3 and 4 of Deltarune hopefully come out sometime this year.

Possibly design hypothetical secret boss predictions for Chapters 4 and 5 of Deltarune before the next chapters come out.

Keep working on, designing characters for, and coming up with Dark Worlds for Deltarune: Fool's Fate. Perhaps even drawing some tarot cards with the chapter bosses.

Post more about my other projects, even if they're only sketchbook drawings or warm up doodles.

Update my commissions page and hopefully take more commissions to earn some extra money/save up for college or to move out.

Post regularly to my Patreon, also to earn some extra money.

Generally have a better year than 2023 and to find more enjoyment in my art and projects.

Closing

Ho boy! That was... A lot! This has turned out to be one very long post. Hehe. Well, should be over now that I've said all I need too. Also, if I haven't said it already, I'd like to thank all of you for supporting me and my art. Be it my comics, DJSSuC3, my other projects, or anything I've posted this year. It means a lot to me that people even like what I draw and you all mean the world to me. With all of that out of the way, thank you Creative Creators and I hope you have a Happy New Year.

[applepies-and-starlight]

Hi hi it's 1am here and the thoughts are Not Great so scroll past if you don't want to see the pettiest vent in your life 'k thanks ♡

So you know that post about me being scared about sharing my work if it isn't the popular opinion or anything generally commonly appealing? Yeah so as I was typing out the tags my brain threw a core memory at my face and went "you absolutely know why"

Anywau basically like, i was an undertale fan during the undertale renissance (is that how you spell it?) And i was fucking OBSESSED over glitchtale (until early season 2 + before camila was outed to be a shitbag) and thought glithtale was very very cool

Ankther thing is that i was a chronic deviantart scroller at the tjme (also on google images) and i love lovr loooooved looking at people's art

So i was like "hey i could do that too!" And started making fanart for glitchtale, specifically that final battle part where they're in The Orb™ in s1

I was doing it in school because at this point everyone was basically just hanging out (my elementary's system was 1st grade to 6th grade (i was... 5th grade iirc) And also had this weird systen where the younger half of elementary would go home 2 hours earlier than the older half (1pm), idk why) and like, because there was literally just 4 people here because small school, i showed my wip to the other 3 people present in the area

They made fun of it

Yeag,,

They made fun of. Basically Everything.

The thing that primarily stuck with me was how they teased about frisk's posing and the overall edginess of the piece, but mostly how frisk looked stypid (which, 1. Y'all play fnaf and brag that you're cool though kids you don't have room to talk; 2. It was The Orb™ fight,,, of course it was gonna be edgy,,,,)

It's somewhere in a landfill now, i threw it in the trash and never fished it out... probably decomposed by now, it's been 8 years (holy shit it's been 8 years)

I... think they apologized? Idk i just know they had a "wait shit no-" moment when i threw it in the trash but i was already mad about it so, yeag

Like... i like to say that it doesn't affect me that badly anymore but i'm pretty sure it still is? I literally can't look at my art anymore without thinking of how bad it looks compared to everyone else's and i also am physically unable to Not agree with others (i literally forced myself to hate homura akemi pmmm because a friend didn't see the nuance in her character and just relegated her to "bitch" lmao) and Good Lird i have crippling perfectionism because if 1 person hates it then everyone does right??? Lmao

Deadass nowadays i just can't bring myself to make or share any ideas or pick up anything creative because i HAVE to get it perfect in 1 go otherwise i'll be ridiculed for it; I'm Trying to outgrow these problems but it's jist So Dicking Hard akfjshdjdhr and it seriously doesn't help tjat there was a seperare (smaller) incident where i found one of my drawings crumpled on the floor by someone

Man i'm kinda fucked up am i?

[indepth-mbti]

i've seen your ig acc & i enjoyed consuming your posts.

so i've been wondering about my type. for a while i thought i was an intj. i knew about the functions, but i only focused on the dominant ni types since *i think* i relate to them. but upon further researching about types, i come to conclude that i relate more to inferior fi than tertiary fi. as much as i don't want to, i force myself to dig deeper into my memories & had an epiphany: the reason i have no friends or that i was bullied by the people around me, including my cousins, is that because i was *& is* argumentative. i want people to follow & believe what i say. in the place that i lived, our family was a bit on the privileged side than most people there, so i dominate the kids who i *thought* were beneath me. but when i was faced with my cousins who were boys, i suddenly lose my courage. as a child, i already had the concept of people being expendable. so i discard people who i cant benefit from by being mean to them and alienating them from the group. but when i thought a kid is beneficial to me, most specially in the social department, i automatically became nicer to them, expecting them to be my friend. basically, during my elementary days, i was the mean girl in our class. but when i enter highschool, i realize that having friends is useful, & immediately understand that i should be more amiable to collect friends to help me with things (specially math). i think it's Te, albeit very unhealthy and immature use of the function. and since i repress it for most of my highschool life, and the trauma that i have gotten because of my attitude, i didn't realize up until this point that that was te, since upon its repression, i became meek and socially shy. all along i always believed it to be just auxiliary. but what i displayed inside our house showed a lot of dominant te. i may follow what our parents say, recognizing their authority, but i always forge a path of my own, wanting to achieve my own goals that, in the long run, will benefit them too. i actively participate with decision making regarding what goes on in our house & my future. i also imposed rules on my younger brother & berated him if he didn't follow it. i can't trust my own knowledge so i have to trust reliable sources to validate what i know. now that i'm in college i'm exercising my te in a healthy way.

the only thing that i'm confused is to whether i used ni-se or si-ne. i'm both detail-oriented & big picture thinker. i sometimes get bogged down by details & wanted everything to be as what i envisioned it to be. i'm meticulous with my projects, striving for perfectionism, follows the methods that i know will give me the results that i want. i want order in the group that i am in, & so wanted clear heirarchy on who will lead or not or who can be efficient or not. i'm not really good with organizing physical things (my mom — who i suspected to be an si dom — always berate me because i'm shitty at organizing our shoe rack). but i'm good with organizing data, abstract theories (given they have practical applicability), & my priorities. when i'm dealing with things that i'm not familiar with, just like in cooking, i want to have explicit step-by-step procedure because i'm afraid i will fuck it up. i hate coming up with new ideas. so when we were brainstorming for our research topics, i instantly thought of the milgram experiment (which is connected with behavioral psych & something i'm familiar with) & modify it to extract the essence of the research. when i'm working with projects, i always search on the internet for possible topics or procedure, and if i found something that interest me, i found ways to connect it to my project and work from there. i'm not really good with remembering details, & when i tried to remember data from the past, what i come up with was its synthesis or my overall impression. my past was murky, i don't really put too much stock on it but i trust what works best before, & i found myself considering tried and tested methods to solve a problem. when a problem is presented, i perform leaps in judgement. i don't really need to know any missing data before i come up with conclusions. i'm good at determining the cause & predicting the future, base on the available info at hand. sometimes, i found myself being bogged down by future possibilities, oftentimes negative. i really hate multiple possibilities, but in order for me to assuage my anxiety, i think of contingency plans to prevent any of the negative possibilities from happening. but when i can't think of anything else, i don't have an issue with acting swiftly, just to get the job done. i'm sorry this is too long! & thank you for lending your time in helping me with my confusion. have a good day!

You're an ENTJ. 683 tritype, but I'm not sure about your core type, I'll say E6.

Your arguments for dominant Te and inferior Fi are on point. Let me tell you this: it is a positive to be aware of your flaws and to accept them with honesty. But be careful, because many Te doms while accepting their flaws and mistakes may fall into a "those are the facts, and me acknowledging them is enough" state.

About your middle axis, I lean towards NiSe because in your writing style there's nothing that points out towards the categorization of ideas and the awareness of the inner states typical of Si users. You express yourself in terms of ideal tendencies/essences you want to reach. Most of what you wrote in the second paragraph is actually Te dom again, but those things are Ni-Se:

"but i'm good with organizing data, abstract theories (given they have practical applicability), & my priorities." - TeNi

"so when we were brainstorming for our research topics, i instantly thought of the milgram experiment (which is connected with behavioral psych & something i'm familiar with) & modify it to extract the essence of the research." <- Ni > Ne. Convergency > Divergency.

"and if i found something that interest me, i found ways to connect it to my project and work from there." <- Ni

I'll say E6 due to the following statements:

"i can't trust my own knowledge so i have to trust reliable sources to validate what i know. now that i'm in college i'm exercising my te in a healthy way." <- this is Te + E6

"i found myself being bogged down by future possibilities, oftentimes negative." <- E6

"but in order for me to assuage my anxiety, i think of contingency plans to prevent any of the negative possibilities from happening." <- E6

[lavender-laney]

tag game, writing questions

Thank you @lexiklecksi for the tag! Their post :)

These writing questions were fun to answer!

What is your absolute all-time favourite ideas you’ve ever had?

Probably the concept of Acrylic Body? It's an issue because I love the idea but I'm having trouble executing it, so I think that's how I know it's a good idea lol.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

Probably not exactly what this question was looking for, but! A few times I've mentioned to people that I'm a writer, and they'll say something like, "Oh, what have you written? Can I read some of your work?" and I have to say no because I've never actually finished anything! I don't have something I can hand over and be like "Oh, here's a short story I wrote," or "Here's a book I'm trying to get published!" This is one of my greatest motivators, and why I think about it often. I want to finish a project so I can have something to show for being a so-called writer.

What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

I love the feeling that comes with being inspired. I love when I'm in the zone where I'm just writing restlessly, my fingers can barely keep up with my thoughts, and I'm feeling like the story is playing out in front of me. I could definitely do without perfectionism and writer's block, though.

What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

Kind of like what I said in the second question - having something to represent my hard work. Less shallow, however, I do just love writing. I always have. I love coming up with things, re-reading parts that I'm proud of and knowing I made that. I can't say feedback from other people isn't also a huge motivator, though. If I hadn't had a reputation as writing being my "thing" growing up, I'm honestly not sure if I would've stuck with it.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

I love this quote from Jodi Picoult: "You might not write well every day, but you can always edit a bad page. You can't edit a blank page." It really helps me focus less on my work being perfect and more just having some sort of base to start with, even if it sucks.

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

When I first started writing in elementary school, I was very much innocent and starry-eyed and thought I was the most amazing writer, even when I was writing silly little Warriors fanfics. I wish I'd known to hold onto that optimistic and confident attitude a little tighter.

What is your favourite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Still haven't written anything to completion, buuut I am very much planning to reach that goal with Choking on Sea Salt!

What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

Probably that same quote by Jodi Picoult! It's one of the only ones that has really stuck with me. Plus, just anything by Mary Oliver always stays with me.

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

In terms of protagonists, I think Sadie's unending curiosity and hunger for knowledge can (and will 🤭) lead to some questionable ways of getting information. In terms of all characters, though, the main antagonist of Choking on Sea Salt (who will be revealed in chapter 2) is definitely unhinged and not in a fun way. Let's say there's a reason he's being haunted by malevolent forces.

If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

I hope she would think I'm cool! She might be a little disappointed I haven't written a book yet or been published or become a world famous author (11 year old me was very ambitious), but I think she'd like what I'm working on. She'd probably be very confused that I'm a reporter of all writing-related careers, though. I'm confused about that too, though, to be honest lol.

[averysexyleon]

I remember you said you've been writing for like 18 years. Do you have any writing advices you want to give that you gained within those long years of writing?

thank you so much for asking ;-;

I don't know if it'll do anybody any good but the things I've noticed over the years is...people who want to write get caught in the 'edit' loop. a lot of us have ocd or ocd-traits--you just have to power past that and post imperfect things. perfectionism is the creativity killer. most of us who want to read stories don't care about perfection, we care about storytelling. obviously made a good, thorough edit, but then post it. haha. can't tell you how many times my writing cheerleading has been "just fuckin post it??? COME ON ALREADY" lol

the other thing I'd say is something I think I learned unofficially from stephen king but it's very important to me. don't fill up pages with purple prose. don't overdo it. write what you need to set the scene or say the dialogue and find the balance where you're writing enough, but not too much. Simple writing is the best writing, period--it's easier on our minds to read, it helps with the story flow, and the tone of the writing/the voice of the writer always shines through instead of getting clouded by something that sounds competitive or something. if that makes sense. very big words, complex sentences, etc just sounds insecure because at the root, it IS insecure.

the only other advice I have is to actually write. even if it's five minutes or a journal entry. it's just like exercise. the more you do it, the more you're able to do it, and the stronger you get at it. so many people say "I have it in my head" or "i have a plan to" don't make plans. just write! the plan can come after you actually write haha.

like i say I don't know if any of that is useful at all, these are just the most common conversations I have with others around writing and the things I notice when I do it. I love that the hobby is so personalized to each of us and I'd never dream of telling others what to do.

[canirim]

I won't make commissions anymore

Trying to put my feelings and thoughts in an organized text is something I struggle with sometimes, so doing this first 'though dump' on twitter helped me a lot. But I want to word this better, and maybe get into more detail than twitter allows me with the word limit.

In the past few days, I've been feeling very depressed. It's not a new feeling for me, and the reason for this for sure isn't. After my classes where done, I had high expectations for myself, that I would draw a lot and finish all of the things I had sitting in my WIP paste for months and even years - pretty unrealistic, but I often do set goals that are impossible for me. And when I did not meet the high standard I set for myself, it all came crashing down. The thing is, my work pace is really slow. I don't know how much of this is a constant burnout from depression, my perfectionism holding me back, and the pressure I get from the horrendous hyper-fast expectation that social media set up, with the lifespan of a post being so short. Even outside of my art making, I don't feel like I can keep up with things: I rarely manage to watch things when they are coming out, get stuck re watching the same shows and movies I already love because of the comfort they give me...

And I guess that's okay. Life has been harsh on all of us, way more than it needed to be. And not a single person on this Earth live the same life and reacts to things the same way, so it is pretty absurd that I keep comparing myself to others like that. But I still can't help but do it, to hold a notion of perfection that I'll never let myself reach, always pushing the bar up. Growing up suicidal, I didn't think I'd live past 16. I'm 22. Going on to 23 in just six more months - and God, how life goes by fast when you stop waiting to die. But the thing is, I didn't really made any plans for my life. When I decided to try and live, art was "the only thing I'm kinda okay at" for me. And in a way, it still is; I don't have that many skills, specially not marketable ones. But I can work with what I have, and try to learn more.

So, I'll try to find a part time job. It's terrifying and very hard to job hunt in this mess of an economy we're living in, all the entry level jobs seem to expect that you have previous experience. With my mom taking care of me, I'm in a privileged position where I'm not struggling financially and can survive this time searching, but I know that won't last forever - nothing does. All I can do is try to be ready for when it changes.

And I'll keep doing art. I'll stay on my university, learning more about this thing that I love, experimenting the most I can. But I don't want to open commissions or requests again in the near future. I'm thankful to the few people that did, extra thankful for my friends and family that hyped me up, but it only made me stressed and worried, with very little financial gain. And I'm tired of trying to make the thing that makes me happy profitable. I want to make art for ME. I want to create for ME. I want to make myself happy, give me room to breath and be safe.

This does not mean I'll stop posting, streaming and etc., but I won't try to rush my art anymore. It will be finished when it's finished, it'll be about things I really want to make, and won't ever be perfect. So, if you followed for my art only, I understand if you want to leave.

But if you do stick around, I hope you'll enjoy...seeing more of me and my thoughts I guess! Thank you for reading and for all the support so far!

[duhragonball]

UAWC Update: 24,112

I should reach the halfway point by the end of the day. I feel like the 20k to 30k part of these 50k challenges is where I struggle the most, but so far it's not too bad. The bigger problem is that I'm not satisfied with what I'm writing.

Part of the point of this exercise is to emphasize quality over quantity, and that's a bitter pill for writers to swallow. I guess that goes for all artists. If a painter did some some sort of 50,000 brush strokes challenge, they'd probably spend much of the time trying to make sure they're the right strokes. There's a good-faith understanding that no one does a writing challenge and just types "the" over and over again for a month.

And that's why it's so important to let go of perfectionism and trust your own process. If you sit there and wait for the ideal style and plot layout, you'll never get anything done at all. It's like Sean Connery said in "Finding Forrester": Thinking comes later. I should really watch that whole movie instead of looking up clips on YouTube.

I'm also reminded of that chestnut I liked about how your work will always seem a little tired and predictable to you because you already know the story. It'll be more fresh and spontaneous to your audience, and that's just something you can't experience in the moment. This is why it's good to go back and re-read your own stuff years later, when you've mostly forgotten everything.

And that's fine and all. I must have internalized this to some extent, because it feels like I'm getting the word count going with a lot less grief than I've had in past years. The Nano years helped a lot with that, but the whole Luffa project was started on the same philosophy. This was all based on a DBZ OC I came up with twenty years ago. I thought about writing the fic in 2006, but I never got anywhere with it because it seemed too big and I didn't know how to do it right. By 2015 I realized that if I kept putting it off I might never get it done at all, so it was better to do it half-assed. Nine years later, I don't have any regrets, because at least I have something to show for my effort. And at least 95% of the best ideas I've had were things I came up with while I was working on the fic.

But all that said, this stuff I'm putting together now, it just feels like something's missing. I'm doing a lot of exposition and a lot of telling-not-showing, and no matter how much I dress it up, it's still just a conversation, and it needs to be more than that, and that's what's got me down.

Also, half of my output has been writing posts about Daima, which has been good for me on a lot of levels, but it also bugs me at the same time. Writing about someone else's story is much, much easier to do, so it feels like a cop-out. And most of Daima so far has been characters trading exposition, but it works when Toriyama does it, and I can't figure out how to duplicate that mojo, even as I actively try to study it.

Then again, maybe that's an appropriate place for me to be at the halfway mark. At least I've got a handle on the problem, which I wouldn't have been able to say on October 31. So I guess I'm going back to work...

Well, I should eat lunch first.

[phantalgia]

Getting Back Into Hobbies: Guitar, Introduction

Before I Even Begin

This is the start of a diary section of my blog dedicated towards learning guitar. I picked up my guitar after a few weeks still feeling confused as to what I was looking at. That throat tightness and shortness of breathe has come back. I have energy that came back despite the Long COVID to try and get back to it.

Anyway, there will be other diaries dedicated towards other hobbies. Drawing will be one, not sure if I'll ever share what I've been doing. But I will share my thought process and things I'm learning on the way. I also could have made a separate blog dedicated to just these hobbies. Honestly, I don't know. Perhaps I will if it seems like I should.

I think last night just reminded me of what really matters to me. I have alternating interests that cycle, never consistent. But I can work with that and attempt to work with my physical and mental health. The thing is, I got to start. So I want to at least pick up my guitar again. I will probably talk about how I'm gonna get myself back into drawing via another blog post but let's start with guitar.

Why Guitar?

To make things short and sweet, the American Primitive scene got me interested in guitar. It's probably a pipe-dream at this point to get to that point but I'll do what I can. I have other instruments that interest me but guitar seemed like a good place to start. I can save specifics about guitar and the genres of music that inspired me for a later time.

My Progress So Far

I don't really like to think about my progress, as when I look back I see a year or so went by and I feel like I didn't go anywhere. So I know my goal is in the fingerstyle realm but there has been something bugging me about the instrument that I HAD TO KNOW. This is part of my own perfectionism/anxiety and perhaps a very mechanical way of seeing things that I inherently have.

Guitar Theory/Music Theory Has Been My Focus

I'm really hellbent on guitar theory for the past year. I've pretty much abandoned fingerstyle practice for this. Honestly, what I want to learn is how to transcribe music and play along with songs. My goals have been the following:

"Memorize" all the notes on the fretboard or at least get relative knowledge about them.

Use CAGED to learn scales and chords and then how it can be used to relate to other systems and patterns of seeing the guitar, as well as theory.

Learn 3NPS

Understand how this all connects to broader guitar theory and music theory generally to have a more holistic view of the instrument.

The THEMES here have been holism, diversification, pattern seeking, connecting, relating, and theory (guitar/music)

I have thought about other goals to add onto this either during or after:

Chord theory

Chords and scales their relations

Others I can't really think of right now....

What I've Learned So Far

I initially started out learning fingerstyle but kept trying to find new ways to learn and see the instrument. What I gravitated towards has been transcribing and guitar/music theory. I really enjoy being able to play a song that's in the right key and figure out if the chords and scales are correct. I do need to also practice actual picking patterns too of course.

What eventually lead me to CAGED, memorizing the fretboard, and patterns and systems was because of how much CAGED tickled my brain in terms of how it allowed me to see the fretboard. I was excited and fascinated by the patterns and theory more than the act of playing itself. So that's where my focus has been. I don't know if this is indicative of how my brain operates or it's just "productive procrastination". I like systems and patterns and stuff. That took away from the actual art of playing.

Books I'm Using

I don't really like YouTube videos, they don't feel structured enough for me. Even books aren't perfect in this regard. But occasionally I'll use YouTube videos as a facilitator rather than the main mode. So books have been my go to.

Memorize and Master The Fretboard In 14 Days! - Troy Nelson

The CAGED System for Guitar - James Shipway

I'm also using a couple of courses on Udemy although they're not perfect. The Troy Nelson book has probably been the most interesting and the James Shipway book introduced me to a nice practice regiment I could apply to anything I do by going around the Circle of Fourths.

The Troy Nelson book has been really good for memorizing although, the memory seems to be muscle memory or relative memory rather than mental or absolute, perhaps I can use that to my advantage by incorporating other patterns and systems. Dropping the guitar for months after my surgery I came back pretty much oblivious to what I was looking at on the fretboard. But quizzing myself I realized I did remember quite a bit if I tried hard enough. After a few weeks still, I'm rusty again with the memory even though I tried to pick the guitar back up a week or so ago.

I want to add that Nelson offers not just a system to memorize the fretboard. No, it's more than that. It goes over theory and a whole host of other things with the emphasis on the goal being memorizing the fretboard. So you get a lot more out of it. It's a really good book IF YOU TAKE YOUR TIME WITH IT. Just because it's 14 days doesn't mean you have to or should do it in 14 days. I definitely am not, whether better or worse. In fact it might be for worse as I'm always feeling like I'm not good enough or haven't memorized it well enough.

The Shipway book is great for CAGED obviously, but offers multiple ways to tackle it and see it. So it's very varied in what it does. It does require knowledge of the notes on the last 2 or 3 strings though.

My Thought Process For Learning, Better or For Worse

So I'm a perfectionist, I'm very antsy about doing things the right way. That prevents me from doing a lot or moving along and progressing as I see things in a linear fashion. I have been trying to break from this habit but it's hard.

It's hard for me to see things as a process of just absorption over time. Instead it's all linear, structure, one thing at a time. So certain strategies for learning become difficult such as diversification.

So an example is this need to know the fretboard before moving on. I never finished that Nelson book, and managed to do that on top of the Shipway one and developed a regiment of practice where I went back and forth on top of self quizzing myself on note locations. It helped make learning the fretboard easier. As I had another way of seeing the fretboard and relating note locations to the CAGED system on top of this quizzing thing.

But perhaps I was only able to have this diversification as long as I slowly added new approaches over time instead of all at once. So I did this "fretboard memorization" book first for maybe a little bit, maybe get a quarter of the way through and go "ok I think I have made some room to add the CAGED book now" so I'm able to EASE my way into the CAGED book. And then BOOM I have built my system and didn't give myself much distress.

What Now?

Use this blog to document stuff and maybe get help? Perhaps slowly I can have a much better way of learning the instrument and make progress. I don't know what to do next. Perhaps today I will just take a break. I spent a lot of time writing about this and I'm drained and anxious about this. My mind is kind of bouncing around the drawing stuff too, so it's very active up there. I think I can at least be satisfied that I picked up the guitar for a little bit and did some writing today to talk about how I feel about it.

Future entries on my guitar progress will probably be after I make progress at a given day or even time of day, my thoughts, feelings, breakthroughs, emotions. I think my main worry is the feeling of being stuck or like I'm not going anywhere with this or things just taking too long.

Any Advice?

So I ask the person reading this, anyone with experience in fingerstyle guitar or in the American Primitive guitar space want to help give me some advice? Otherwise I could just go on Reddit and ask at some point.

[jajukhayekaju]

Mind is still and clear, for now.

It appears as if I make a trip to this secluded spot, that only I know of, once every two years. This blog of my is more than a decade old. I don't really recall very well what I was going through every time I have posted something here. As I try to re-read the posts and make sense of my mental state, I can capture some of it.

I'm a good place in my life right now. The last time I was here, I wrote about being in love or thinking that I was in love. Well, I have been living with that girl for the past 2 years. I may end up marrying her. I have been working at a really humane organisation, in a role, that I absolutely love. I got promoted. I underwent an amazing leadership training that I think has changed me quite a lot.

My girlfriend has gone back to her parent's home for a month. My dear school friend who is also a drummer has moved abroad. Slowly and slowly our house has shrunk in size. Therefore, in the last couple of days, I have had a bit of solitude. I quite like it.

I always struggled how to deal with people. The first time I consciously thought about this was around the time I was 22. At that point, I don't think I had sufficiently developed a theory of mind.I don't think I could have imagined what other people felt when I spoke to them or how my behaviour came across to them. I was definitely not a patient person. I still interrupt people a lot. I was certainly very disrespectful. I can imagine how difficult it must have been to be a friend of mine. I am grateful for those who stuck with me.

My relationship of the past two years has in many ways helped me, to learn how to speak. I now wait for people to complete their point when they're speaking. I obviously try to speak a lot less than I used to. Still speak a lot but I'm trying to reduce the amount of time that I hog the microphone. I am 31 as of writing this and it's hard to make sense where my 20s have gone. but I'm happy how my 20s have turned out, based on the outcomes of today. I got 40 years of working ahead of me and I'm excited how they’re gonna shape up, because I'm quite happy with the speed of my learning.

I never want to stop learning. I never want to stop growing. I never want to feel that I can't change anymore. I never want to feel that I am right the way I am. There’s always much to improve. Only tired, old mind would feel exhausted at the thought of learning something new and changing themselves.

The two things that I need to learn in order to achieve the life of my dreams are time management and social skills. Recently, I had an epiphany in which I realised that the reason I suck at time management is because of perfectionism and compulsion. I have been trying to develop the muscle to overcome the mental resistance to initiate a task and overcome the temptation to procrastinate. I think I'm getting better. Hopefully I get much better by the end of the year.

As always, I think deeply about how I should be spending my life. Deep down, I know that a goal of mine is to change the mindset of the people of my country and perhaps even the world. I deeply desire that my country becomes the most developed one. I think I have the answer to what holds it back from becoming one. Another goal of mine is to become rich, successful, to lead an interesting life, to meet interesting people, to get wide spread and recognition. At the heart of both of these goals: a desire to be great.

It’s just one life, and I don't want to settle. I don't want life to pass by me. You know, Sam Altman, is just 38 years old. He is living the life that I wish I was living. I don't want to turn 50 and look at people 10 years younger to me doing far more interesting things that I am at that point and wonder if that could have been me.

I obviously want to be realistic in terms of what I can achieve or not achieve. But I'm often way too ambitious. For example, I would love to see the decline and extinction of religion. I would love to see the US citizens abandon their love of guns. I would love to see a world where is no violence. a world where men, women and children are equal. I don't think I will be able to achieve such huge changes in the mindset of people as I know that I am no modern day Jesus.

If I were to start my work today, I would get to see two generations in action. I don't think so many changes happen over 40 years, but who knows. But surely we would make a quite a bit of progress in the direction that I want the world to move. I get excited at the thought of how the world would look like 1000 years from now, what amazing technology we would have and whether we would have a social utopia.

What does all of this mean for me? I know I need to learn to manage my time better and learn how to influence people before I can achieve any of my goals. Instead of being fixated on the outcome, I should try to be the best version of myself and put efforts towards achieving my goal, irrespective of whether I achieve them or not in my lifetime.

Also, did I mention I traveled to Europe a few months back? Yep, I went there for three weeks.

[emoverted]

take a break, but actually, don't

Entertainment is only a click away. This has been my reality and I'm sure most if not all of us too.

Picture this. You enter the supermarket and are exposed to endless food choices, or is it? Sometimes, a supermarket may run out of our favorite snacks, or the price of our daily necessities increase, or whatever other sudden limitations hinder us from consuming our usual choice of food and drinks. Now, the internet's deficiency possibility is low, unless you run out of data. We're constantly given choices of YouTube videos, Instagram posts Pinterest pins, I can go on and on. By now, we don't even need to search for our interests, the algorithm is already caught up with that. The second we open our home or explore page, everything is there. I'm not saying a customized feed is terrible. Of course, we'd prefer a "uniquely our's" feed. Plus, it's undeniably convenient. This is where the problem lies. Entertainment has been so easy for us to access that we no longer feel the need to work for it. The more accessible it is, the more likely we're going to be stuck with it, which is an enemy of our productivity. No, I'm not some productivity maniac. In fact, I've been trying to dissociate with productivity content as I'm on my journey to slow down. But I can't help but be reminded of the trend of "Dopamine Detox". Essentially, it's where we limit ourselves for a day or several days (some people even went on for weeks or months) from instant gratification, the phenomenon I touched upon previously, the ease of getting something that satisfies our needs which usually comes in the form of social media. This trend doesn't mean we completely shut ourselves from things that make us happy. What this trend instead approaches is substituting what I like to call as easy dopamine with normal dopamine. Pretty self-explanatory. To me, easy dopamine is what I've been explaining, satisfying things that are so easy to get such as social media, snacks, etc. Normal dopamine on the other hand is those that need more effort to get. In my experience, this includes cooking, writing, reading, exercising, etc. This is the answer to my ongoing struggle for the past few months. I constantly find myself getting anxious and giving up easily on my tasks when I'm only a few minutes in and have little to no progress. After tons of reflections, I've been suspecting it for burning out, perfectionism, and so much more when in reality, it's just the fact that I'm so used to getting what I want with ease that when I'm faced with the slightest difficulty, it stresses me out. This is also the accumulation of the many months I spent only consuming easy dopamine between post-high school graduation to pre-college. This realization is hard to swallow, especially knowing how hard of a journey I have to go through to combat this problem. But it's also a relief that I finally caught up with the root cause after months. Here's to delaying gratification.

Also, I find this video to be very insightful for my understanding of this whole issue:

[houseofbrat]

Some of the things Antphrodite said in his reading from almost two weeks ago (posted 04 March 2024) and my thoughts.

1:37 - "why are there regrets?" 1:46 - "something is fishy here"

Regrets about how things are going on in the marriage. Things have changed in the past year.

2:55 - "some kind of disconnect between her and him"

YES! She's not as much of a crazy control freak who needs to live in a "bubble" like her husband.

3:20 - "I feel like she's hiding something."

Yes, they BOTH are!

4:04 - "but it seems like there's some sort of, like, you need to rest, like, you need to break this habit you're in a cycle."

Uh...yes. probably needs to stop drinking her problems away. Also that's what happens when an emotional/mental breakdown happens.

4:47 - "doing something in secret" 5:01 - "what are you hiding now?" 7:12 - "I did not expect Kate to have a rebellious side. I did not expect Kate to be a little mischievous."

Um, hello! See-through skirt/dress on runway at university.

8:12 - "It reminds me of, like, if someone was, like, let's say someone's a party girl and she's just been partying too hard and it's like all right you need to reel it in that's kind of the vibe now."

yup. Drinks too much. When you're a forty-something woman who can keep up with a male rugby player on the imbibing, it's time to tone it down a notch.

8:25 - "I also see her stressed out and kind of at her wit's end. Definitely struggling with some sort of anxiety or stress and maybe it's depression or something I don't know but like there's definitely some sort of like she has a vice cuz I see someone like smoking a cigarette."

wouldn't surprise me if she also still smokes. Her skin certainly shows it.

8:55 - "she feels very isolated and that she doesn't have any true friends and she feels a little frustrated how controlled her life is. So as she gets older and more responsibility is put on her shoulders more pressure is put on her shoulders. She's starting to crack that perfectionism like perfectionist inside of her is starting to crack."

Not able to keep in contact with her friends as she would like. Can't handle the pressure of being in the RF and being a public figure. Doing fuckups.

9:42 - "The media is gunning for her relationship. A lot of skeletons in her closet and in their closet in terms of their relationship is going to start to crack. You're going to see the crack and the fountain of their relationship."

standard Fleet Street m.o.

11:03 - I think her husband is super worried about her. That's all I'm seeing is, like, he's panicked over her. That's literally all I see. Literally panicked over her so there's something else going on. I'm not sure if it's an addition to the procedure she's having done. I'm not sure if it's a coverup. It wouldn't shock me if this is in addition and they kind of just were, like, 'oh, this is the perfect time to kind of do what we what wanting to do anyways.'" It's like the perfect excuse."

Time to use the Waleses' massive distraction to release some big LP news.

12:07 - She wants to talk. She wants more of a voice, and I think she's going to try and figure out a way to have more of a voice because what I'm seeing is, like, if someone were to make like a TikTok; I'm not saying she's making TikTok's…what that translates to is, like, "I want more of a voice for myself. I want people to be more familiar with me. I want people to hear the truth." She wants more transparency, and they do not like that."

She wants to have equal footing with her emotionally damaged, thin skinned, control freak of a husband. Hm, I wonder what kind of life choices made her realize this? *cough* *cough*

Where is Kate Middleton?! PSYCHIC READING

[mellindi]

Between my ADHD and perfectionism, I'm on the struggle bus over here. I am very visual, so I like using screenshots for inspiration. The problem is I'm a reactive writer (if that makes sense?). I cannot write a scene and then create the screenshot; I write based on how the gameplay goes based on an overall "theme" and then create dialogue from the photo. Who else does this? Any tips on how to start documenting my dialouge on screenshots and differentiating the character's? Thank you for coming to my crazy ted talk.

It does make sense and this is the way A LOT of what I call gameplay-driven storytellers around here write their stories! I used to in the past and still do whenever I get hit with occasional inspo to post a little gameplay.

To document the dialogue and make it clear who’s talking, there are a few methods you could try:

*pics are from a random scene in my story with some random dialogue slapped on top.

Method 1:

Use one font color for all sims but include the sim’s name at the beginning of each line. 

Method 2:

No names but a different font color for each sim. You could go about this a number of ways. Most people choose one dedicated color for each sim, so like white for their main sim always, yellow for any secondary sim on/off camera, then red, blue, green, and whatever other color for any other sims. Back when I was posting a captioned story, I made each sim's font one of the main colors in their outfit so that if you weren't sure who was talking you would hopefully make the connection. Second pic for reference.

Method 3:

Color choices are up to you, but you can have the text float near the speaker, in the order the line is spoken, so from top to bottom.

Your font choices are endless, but I would recommend sticking with something that's easy enough to read. I wear my glasses exclusively when I'm on my PC (they keep falling off my face so I don't wear them when I'm doing other things--I know I need to take care of this, lol) so if I step away and try to read pics with words on them when I just so happen to browse the mobile app, I usually can't cause they're too small. It's your call tho and up to you what you decide, but something to keep in mind.

I hope this helps!

[i-mybrunettelady]

oh! also i’m late to the el asks party, but here’s one that’s basically me giving you an excuse to make that full post you mentioned about how he relates to his past self, should you want to! :D @kerra-and-company

You're never late to El ask party. Party rages on forever <3 And I'm always down to ramble about El's head because it's a very interesting place to be in sometimes.

So, El and his past self. We know he can hate and be cruel to things that bother him and right now, that something happens to be his past self. Like Nyra, he's awful at self-compassion (or let's face it, compassion at all) and self-forgiveness and is just now going through the painful, awkward, uncomfortable but very much necessary part of growing up called accepting the self for what it is.

To me, this feels a lot like being a young adult, even though El is 31; he's slowly tearing through the chains of explosiveness and immaturity (and trauma! El has a lot of unresolved trauma that didn't help his emotional growth whatsoever!) and given his forceful brand of independence, tries to do it by himself. Which is a slow process and there's ultimately only so much he can do without therapy/on his own. Credit where credit's due, though.

But he's never quite learned not to lash out at things that displease him. A lot of his internal dialogue with his past self involves him being outright cruel and demeaning to him. He's very self-critical, though he won't ever let anyone see it (hence perfectionism!) and it's as if he purposefully chooses to ignore the fact he can't have known the things he knows now then. In fact, he may even find his past self a good scapegoat when he goes to blame others on his own troubles before he remembers that personal responsibility is a thing.

"I obviously wouldn't do that now, so my past self should've known not to do those things too." Except that's not how that works, but I don't think he has the words to put it as succinctly yet. He's intensely uncomfortable about the topic too, so he doesn't think of it much. Introspection has never really been his strong suit. But he may just get there one day!

This is part of the reason why El's whole arc is so dear to me. For all his forcefulness and aggression and anger, El is incredibly fragile at his core and he needs to break it before he can be strengthen it, and now he has people to support him through it <3