#i just can't empathize with her
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
star trek prodigy is the first star trek show ive ever watched and all i have to say is...um it sucks?? sorry i know it's super popular but i just dont like it like at ALL lol
#i accidentally found out that dal and gwyn kiss/get together??#and im like??? she literally helped enslave thousands of children#she put her fathers approval over the literal freedoms and life of other people thats fucking insane to me#she shows murf more empathy than the fucking runaway child prison slaves???#and i was supposed to sympathize with her?#idgaf how young she is shes clearly a teen so shes not fucking oblivious to the harm shes caused#she felt guilty enough to feel sorry for herself and clearly knew what she was doing was fucked up#she literally said she justified their treatment in her mind because she thought they were criminals#but when she finds out that she was wrong the whole time shes confused why theyre being assholes and dont like her?#like I get shes also a victim of her shitty dad#but shes shown that she knows right from wrong#i personally just dont think she gives a fuck#or clearly not enough fucks about the fact that she helped and oversaw the ENSLAVEMENT OF KIDNAPPED CHILDREN#and then they make the ex prison warden and ex prisoner kiss 😭#a kiss that was barely consensual ive heard#sorry i hate gwyn#i just can't empathize with her#even as someone with a comparable home life/parent relationship#BLAH#im not finish it its making me angry LMAO#star trek prodigy#gwyndala#i think thats her full name?? idk lol#tw opinion
1 note
·
View note
Text
An interesting little fun thing with team 7 is that you assume that Sakura's gonna, like, woobify and simplify Sasuke by putting him on a pedastal,cause her goal is centered around him and shes a 12 y/o fangirl so like of course her understanding of him is skewed cause she doesnt see him as a person, just an object of affection, right? She's can't get Sasuke, can't imprint on and/or traumabond with him like Naruto and Kakashi do. They don't see him with rose tinted glasses, because they've lived through their own Horrors and empathize with Sasuke's experience.
......right?
WRONG lmao!! They have too many ghosts!! Naruto's single-minded codependent ass won't get out of his own way long enough to see Sasuke for who he actually is, only able to empathize with the parts of his trauma Naruto relates to and not really capable of understanding him outside of the context of himself (because Sasuke is. His other half). And Kakashi is far too jaded to be fair to him!! He can't decide if Sasuke is gonna end up as a mini-him or a mini-Obito or maybe a mini-Itachi, but either way he ALSO is too traumatized to see Sasuke AS SASUKE.
meanehile SAKURA'S autistic ass may have dogshit empathy, but you know what she does have? A special interest in sasuke. Nothing better to do then give herself a degree in Uchihaisms. She can write character studies about him. she can read his soul. Whenever she says something about him she is right. Every fucking time! She is RIGHT!!!!
'sasuke would NOT compliment me this directly or explicitly express worry unprompted, especially if it gets in the way of his goals' correct.
'Sasuke shouldn't hide that curse on his neck its not healthy BUT if I tell anyone about it he'll never trust me again, which might be even more dangerous for him then the curse mark. Like he can probably handle the curse mark but no one else can stop him from ripping peoples arms off.' correct.
Speaking of! 'Sasuke would not hurt me even when he seems to be...possessed? whatever the only way to knock him out of it is to present myself as Alive and thus something to be protected rather then something to be avenged, because he gets really stuck in his own head about revenge' CORRECT
'hey so um. like. Sasuke's gonna leave Konoha. I'm not sure anything can stop him at this point and honestly I'm kinda starting to doubt anything should, so the only thing I could possibly do to help him at this point is ALSO defect.' CORRECT!!!!
#shout out to @Obihoe cause this started as a tag comment on one of your posts that got WAY too out of hand. just like old times lol#team 7#haruno sakura#sakura haruno#sasuke uchiha#team crackhead#naruto#naruto uzumaki#sasusaku#doesn't have to be but like. Yeah#for the record no disrespect to my boys Naruto n Kakashi I love them dearly. but like. they got their issues. that's half the fun of team 7#And Sakura has her problems with Sasuke too!! But her problems have nothing to do with understand him or his motivations or his personhood#and more to do with. Well. her absolute dogshit empathy. Emotionally disregulated ass.#'if you leave me I'll feel just like you did when your parents died' My beloved. Iconic. Great line. No notes. She's really just still so#inexperienced and naive that means she can explain and predict and KNOW him and his actions but still not empathize. She can say shit#like that with a straight face because she's never FELT loss like this before (except that minute she thought he was dead on the bridge)#so she can't imagine a worse pain. Just assumes it can't GET worse because she has no emotional concept of 'worse'. so it must be the same#she's literally the only person with a chance of convincing Sasuke to take her with him to Orochimaru because he's SASUKE of course she#knows all the right pressure points and keywords and concerns and stuff that she needs to convince him.#she's literally playing a little diolouge tree game with him. And maybe even winning up until that line! it's the dealbreaker
194 notes
·
View notes
Note
What you said about the period cramp simulator in that tags of that one post, it reminded me that one thing I'd like to do should I start dating someone is to get one of those so that when she's having her period she can tune it to wherever her cramps are that month and then let me use it so I can get an idea of how rough any given period is
You know... just kinda have a feedback mechanism so I can know how it's going and try and do what I can to make things suck less
That's a nice idea and all but I think if someone tells you they're in pain/discomfort you just try and help them???
#I'm the lucky few that don't have cramps so I can't say much but apparently heat pads and stuff help with them#just ask her if she needs anything. Proper communication and all goes a long way my man.#I get it's the idea of trying to empathize via experiencing the pain they're in but there's also empathizing with pain because you've#experienced pain before or smth.#You don't have to experience period cramps personally to know that being 'punched in the gut' hurts.#kos speaks
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
All it takes is a wee little nightmare to make you too scared to step foot outside for fear of Bad Things happening, like it’s an omen lol
#also it is p o u r i n g outside and it takes me an hour and fifteen minutes to commute to campus#i'm a good little student but sometimes i just can't be assed#esp with all the crazy stuff that's been happening on public transit and on my campus for that matter#i'm just getting a bad vibe today [insert empath meme here]#warning for me complaining about a graphic nightmare!!!!:#had a few stress dreams(?) last night but one particularly violent one in which a woman got run over by a streetcar--#--and the paramedics were moving people along but i accidentally got a really good look at her and it fucked me up#she looked like she was just sleeping peacefully but i could only really make out the top half of her body#probably because the bottom half was... yeah.#i think i also had another dream that i was being hunted by a sniper?? and they had called my cell and were threatening me + my folks?#and another one where i had to hide some children from... i don't really know what. some dangerous person who wanted to kill all of us#but the kids wouldn't leave me even though i begged them to.#yeah just a normal collection of dreams for me. literally ugh.#i don't even think i'm stressed in my life rn??#not any more than normal lol
501 notes
·
View notes
Text
I always say the shingles saga as an immunocompromised sixteen-year-old was my near-death experience but then my mom will occasionally make musings of the time my heart stopped when I was 8 and I'm like oh yeah that happened
#supraventricular tachycardia#technically it wasn't the SVT that did it that was doing the oppsite and making my heart beat AT LEAST two hundred BPM#(machines at the time didn't go past two hundred BPM so we have no way of knowing how fast my heart rate actually was)#it was the adenosine they gave me to TREAT the SVT that caused my heart to stop lmfao whoops#it wasn't for very long but my mother can't tell me how long it was bc she said her heart was stopping in that moment too#it didn't take long for my heart rate to shoot back up to two hundred beats per minute tho#the uncomfy part of remembering all this is that I was conscious and cognizant of all of it as it happened#my heart stopped but my brain still was functioning and at no point during this crisis was I sedated#so I'm just lying in bed terrified as I watch my heartbeats on the monitor go from two hundred to the tens to single digits in the span of.#...fast#I blocked the memory out for a years until I read the account of a girl whose was awake when they used the heart shock paddles on her#and was violently thrust into my 8 year old body clutching the hospital bed watching the heart monitor rapidly ticked down#when the flashback was over I assumed I was over empathizing with the story but when I asked my mom she said that's exactly how it happened#we both recall shock paddles being pulled out at some point but they were never used#i don't remember if that was during the adenosine tho or at some other point during the emergency#as far as I know shock paddles aren't actually used to restart flatlined hearts like on tv#they may have been pulled out before or after to shock my heart out of tachycardia but again were never actually used#anyway fucking wow it's always interesting to remember this factoid of my silly life#near death experience#if you think it's weird my mom will bring it up out of the blue I'm ninety nine percent certain she has PTSD from this event#she's more traumatized than I am about it at any rate. like I said I have to be reminded it even happened#medical trauma
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
something something psych star trek au
#trying to imagine what alien races the main cast would be... (if they were alien at all)#i think gus screams betazoid. whether fully or just partially. and the sympathetic crier bit could be a betazoid empath thing :]#i think shawn should be an unjoined trill. who frequently lies about being joined. especially when he can lie about past lives and-#experiences to help advance a case or sneak around or etc.#also very important to note that some(?) unjoined trills are telepathic. he is not. but he lies about that too <3#lassie and jules im not too sure about tho tbh...#my gut feeling for lassie is he should be some percentage romulan. BUT i also considered cardassian.. but romulans have a more lassie vibe#i kinda can't decide for juliet. bajoran crossed my mind but i dont know if it's terribly her.#changeling jules could be cool? shapeshifting slime moment#ocampas also crossed my mind but the nine year lifespan thing makes me sad 💔#grafftalk#i do think she would look cool as an andorian too but i dont actually know all that much about them so im not sure about it ( <- FAKE FAN )#psych trek
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
El has nightmares. they both do, it's no surprise. Max knows all the classics, and can sometimes tell which El is having by what she murmurs in her sleep. lots of Starcourt and lab ones. Max dying is easily the most common one. for all those, Max can wake her and comfort her and tell her it's okay.
a rare one that Max hates the most is when El cries mama? like a lost child. that's the one that always makes Max cry, because there's not a thing she can do about it. all the love in the world is no replacement for what was taken from El. she will never recover, and there are no real words of comfort to offer.
for those, Max tries to gather her up gently without waking her, and hold her close, and hope that El's dreams might shape her arms into the ones she needs.
sometimes, when El tightens around her and breathes more softly, mama, Max likes to think maybe it's working. she kisses her head and tries her hardest to cry silently.
#angst#elmax#while I think the Max arc was possibly the best thing this show ever did#one negative is that Max's trauma kind of overshadows El's#(mostly because it was a solo mission and El never tends to share with the class)#a huge thing I've always wanted from this show is for really any of El's friends to gain any inkling of what she's been through#what the lab was really like or what happened with her mother etc and to empathize with her#Max was our best bet for that but her trauma plate is pretty full and idk if I see a lot of that happening between them in 5#maybe Will#El's life is unimaginably tragic and horrifying and I can't stand it if they just kinda never talk about it#anyway its harlow monkey hours over here and Im making it your problem
128 notes
·
View notes
Text
cameron is SUCH a hypocrite jfc. when she gets super involved in a case and meddles w a patients personal life (like the plague lesbians), its moral and just. but as soon as foreman makes a few jests at a cop she's like "uhmmm actually i think u should be taken off the case...😠" GIRL shut up pls
#i don't hate her she's just. so annoying#and not in an affectionate way#i wouldn't have such a problem w her if she wasn't such a hypocrite tho#like i can empathize bc im also an extremely biased person#but i ALSO don't butt into other people's business just bc i personally think something different should be done#literally its part of your job as a doctor to stay neutral and treat based on medical opinion only!!!#does she ever get less judgey and projecty? can't remember#house md#allison cameron#hate crimes md
44 notes
·
View notes
Note
Dismantling the colonization? That's basically what I mean with the rose question
so you mean you think.... Steven might hate Rose because she could have convinced the diamonds to dismantle the colony?
I think its pretty clear to both Steven and the audience of the show that simply convincing the diamonds to not go forward with colonization was not a viable option at that time. People tend to forget that Steven was only able to convince the diamonds to change course after they had experienced thousands of years of grief over Pink's loss - putting them in a fundamentally different headspace than they were when Pink kept desperately trying to talk them out of colonizing the earth.
Every single one of Steven's diamond take-down talks isn't about how they are hurting a very special place called earth and all the value they could find in the earth if they could just stop sucking it's resources dry. That stuff never works with them because none of it is personal to them. Its all about how the idealized family situation they were mourning never existed, and how their attitudes fly in the face of the ideologies of both the person they claimed to have once loved, and the perfect system they are attempting to uphold. Through this alone, Steven clearly understands that Pink did everything she could possibly think of to fix the issue, and that he's in a special position to do something she never could. He certainly doesn't like it, and probably resents Rose for retroactively putting him in this place at times, but again, thats not the same thing as hating her.
Of course, there isn't an objective truth to how Steven feels about Rose, so you can think what you want. I'm just inclined to disagree about it.
#Probably the last ask I'm going to answer on the topic bc I feel a little like you're attempting to like#convince me of a specific view of steven and rose's relationship#and im just not really that interested in this interpretation#I think steven's relationship to rose is much more interesting if he has REASONS to hate her but he can't bring himself to#because he empathizes with her too much. he knows what she's gone through and that she tried her best and that makes it worse#nothing digs your chest hollow like knowing someone who hurt you more than words can describe didn't actually mean to#and was just another person trying their best to live their life
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Any episode of Person Of Interest can make you cry if you think hard enough about it
#john reese#harold finch#person of interest#thinking about how 'John Warren' has the cover story closest to Reese's actual one#when did Joh trust Harold enough to tell him the truth? or when did Harold know there was enough trust he could tell Reese what he knew#or how in Prisoner's Dilemma John threatens Harold with a gun because he's so scared to hurt him#or how John leaves in Shadow Box not even spending the time to dry Bear and then not coming home for a while#just think for a moment about how excited Bear got at hearing John's voice over the earbud- and then when John finally returned!!#John talking to Shaw outside Cole's parents' house & 'they didn't need to take their memory of him. Even the CIA wouldn't stoop that low'#''in our line of work we walk in the dark. doesn't mean we have to walk in it alone''#Fusco watching out for Carter by looking into Beecher both with and without her asking#(not that he was right but that he did it)#in case we couldn't tell I'm obsessed with John Reese#and the way HAROLD AND CARTER were immediately breaking rules to get Reese out a jail when he was willing to go down for it all#if you can't tell I'm kinda on a POI kick tonight- but I'm also scheduling/queueing some stuff for later#don't think about how shaw was going to become a doctor but then got kicked out because she couldn't empathize well enough#and then became a killer instead!#or how we learn root (in an episode that was expected to center around finch) had a tragic backstory but leaves it behind b/c John solves i#or how Lionel only ever wanted his son safe and Shaw realized that but then couldn't save him as we all expected in the crossing#and another one#The season 4 episode where we see that John believed he was closer to Carter than he actually was! (Terra Incognita 4.20)
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
drusilla's canon grandma kink is a thing that can be so charming & unhinged.
#do i empathize with darla not being into it. yes. 100% it is horrible#but come onnn it's so funny and endearing that drusilla wants to go there#sexually and also emotionally she's making it uncomfortable for everyone. if she wanted to play nuclear family & iirc sometimes she does#they'd role with it because they're creatures of the night perverting wholesome domesticity is their jam. but no.#drusilla says this is an intergenerational household of cringe and i want a boyfriendson just like grandma#spike when drusilla is like you're the knight and i'm the princess: overjoyed. honoured. so turned on and blissed out he could die (again)#spike when drusilla is like i want to show grandmother my new baby: incest is just a very touchy topic for me right now babe#you can't cancel her she's just processing her trauma!!#incidentally i think it's also interesting that william the bloody awful poet does not have daddy issues at all as far as we see.#very much unlike angel and also penn! angelus has so many daddy issues he actually sought out another human with daddy issues to turn#so he could play vampire daddy about the art of murdering your family. like a full 2/3 vamps we know for sure he turned (i think??) call hi#dad. only partially as a sex thing. yikes!!! this manpire is so unwell on the dad front#but it looks like william's father predeceased him#and he had time to process and come to terms with that before he got vamped#if he had a bad relationship with him he doesn't think about it unless i'm misremembering season 7 which is very possible#but spike the vampire is so daddy issues flavoured and it's just. it's just angelus issues like imagine you're 27 years old reborn#to eternal night and your girlfriend's other boyfriend she calls daddy fucks you up like that. there's so much oof in that relationship#no wonder he's mad. that is just embarrassing. like yes obviously the backdoor of his mommy issues provided an opening but still. still!!!#press says btvs#cw: incest#cw:drusilla
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way some people will just go out of their way to misconstrue m.cu peter is like. can we get a new bit maybe
#now genuine mcu writing criticism i understand and agree with. also some choices regarding his creation in general#but talking about him as if he just accepts may's death and 'his fate' right there in comparison to atsv is. oh my god#he did not just say 'okay' and move on. tobey and andrew were NOT telling him to accept may's death 'because it had to happen'#they were showing solidarity with this grieving kid and trying to prevent him from spiraling over something that had Already Happened#and this whole movie was peter REFUSING TO LISTEN and SAVING THE LIVES of multiple villains that he was told were supposed to die#not ONCE in any movie he's been in has he EVER been one to listen to authority?? if he had been told that may would die before it happened#you're telling me you think he WOULDN'T have tried to save her?#if he were around for atsv he would empathize with and side with miles!#like i already HAD thoughts about the very similar position he was just in and how complicated he'd feel here but since spiderman fans#can't fucking handle nuance i'm making a point of the fact that he KNOWS where miles is coming from first#i also think the spiderverse movies are objectively better but there is no reason to be This obtuse about his characterization#🕸 ❝ i have nothing left… except spider man ❞ → ooc#atsv spoilers#kind of??
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to parasocial on main but I Am Worried About Her!
#and the thing is. even if Joe cheated I'm like... like... I really think there is some Shit going on that like…#my point is she's reacting in a way that I think probably isn't healthy#and I get why! It's a huge traumatic trigger for her#but. also.#IDK I feel like playing up how terrible whatever Joe did or didn't do was just in a sense…#Like it could make HER feel worse about what happened to a non-productive degree#because he might've been very shitty to her but if she finds herself feeling more and more hurt because#she and the whole world keep over-analysing it. Yeah#and that's not to say she can't express herself on stage – but I think maybe people are over-empathizing in a way that's sensationalizing#and will ultimately worsen things#I'm worried she might be metaphorically primal-screaming is what I'm saying.#taylor#fiona.docx
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am like. Speechless
#★ phantompost#How fucking dismissive do you have to be. “I finally empathized with angela because she was more NORMAL and UNDERSTANDABLE about her traums#and not being WEIRD and saying CRAZY SHIT“ Come on man#Traumatized characters have to be personally understandable for me or they're just crazy weirdos i can dismiss#Why is angela the one character people can't be normal about
1 note
·
View note
Text
As much as I have been enjoying bg3 I Do Not Like Kagha or how the game will punish you for (RIGHTLY) assuming she is beyond convincing and how the only hint you have to do anything other than just maul her stupid ass is by pickpocketing a very specific chest in her grove
#Like I'm sorry but she called those tieflings a PARASITE#DEVIL. POISON. ETC#She was gonna let a viper kill a kid.#And was happy to defend the idea of killing all the tieflings!!!#I'm all for de-escalation don't get me wrong#But it feels weird that the game doesn't seem to really incentivize not just murdering your way through problems#Esp considering you can't nonlethally attack with range or spells still.....#But then if you kill this fascist asshole you are VIOLENTLY punished as the druids slaughter people aboveground#What if I don't want to empathize with the fascist game. What if I just want to see her blood on the floor. What about that
0 notes
Text
Never Really Over
a little bit of divorced!harry for your consideration
"I just wanna see him."
Y/n gave her ex a long look, not betraying the warring emotions swirling in her belly. Harry rarely showed up this late. He rarely showed up unannounced, for that matter. It made things easier—seeing him when she could prepare herself for the encounter. Now he was here on her doorstep, hair messy and eyes all pleading and sad.
"I just put him to bed, H," Y/n sighed. It wasn't that she didn't want to keep Harry from their son, but it was way too late, and it wasn't his week.
It had nothing to do with the fact that Y/n had been feeling particularly lonely lately and seeing her ex husband be all sweet with their son would make her think traitorous thoughts.
"I know, I know, I've just... I've had a long day, and I just want to see him. I won't even wake him up, I swear. I just want to sit with him."
Despite the divorce, Y/n still knew Harry struggled with the demise of their relationship, and she did too, even if she was the one who ultimately filed. They were five months in, but she felt like no time had passed at all. She floated between half expecting Harry to walk through the door like he used to and frustrated by the way their relationship turned so tumultuous by the end. It was all too complicated, which was why she preferred Harry's visits to be planned. It helped her to compartmentalize.
But she saw the look in his eyes and couldn't help but empathize with her ex-husband.
He looked tired and lost and maybe even at his wits end a little. She knew that look well, she recognized it every time she looked in the mirror on the days Harry had their son. She knew what it was like to have a bad day and want nothing more than to hold their little bub and let him wash away every bit of stress and frustration. Y/n did everything she could to not go completely out of her mind when it was Harry's week with their son, and she imagined that her ex felt similarly.
"Twenty minutes," she said, opening the door further and stepping to the side.
Harry's shoulders sagged with relief. He stepped toward Y/n as if he was going to hug her, then seemed to think better of it and went straight inside.
Y/n stayed downstairs while Harry went up, letting him have a private moment with their son. She cleaned up in the meantime, putting away stray toys and books and fluffing couch cushions and refolding blankets. Anything to not think of Harry with her son, or the soft look he always got when he gazed down at their little boy. It had always been her kryptonite, and she wasn't sure she'd gotten over it yet.
A little while later, Harry came back downstairs. Having organized and straightened up everything she possibly could, Y/n settled on the couch with the glass of wine she'd promised herself earlier that day. She'd wanted to have it in her bed with her book, but she settled for scrolling on her phone until her ex eventually left.
"Thank you," Harry said, his voice soft, careful not to wake the five year old upstairs. "You didn't have to do that, but I appreciate it."
"Don't worry about it," Y/n said, trying to appear like seeing him didn't have an effect on her the way it used to.
"Really, Y/n, I owe you."
"Let's not go and make promises you can't keep again," she muttered.
Y/n felt guilty as soon as she said it. They were having a civil moment, a rarity since the whirlwind of their divorce. She hadn't meant to pick at old wounds and make them bleed again. Her response was a reflex more than anything, one that she couldn't keep in check when she was tired.
"I'm not the one who filed for divorce, Y/n," Harry said, a dark cloud of emotion overtaking his face. "If anyone broke promises, it was you."
"Those vows were broken long before we got divorced, and you know it," Y/n said, that old fire that was more of a dull ember these days rising to the surface.
Harry and Y/n fell in love hard and fast, both loving each other fiercely and with everything cell in their body. Their relationship had been full of passion and intensity and so much love it was almost suffocating. But it also meant that they fought just as hard. Their arguments often blazed and burned bright, then fizzled out until they were in each other's arms again as if nothing had happened.
Until the arguments got bigger.
And longer.
And Y/n just couldn't take it anymore.
Y/n could tell that the anger simmering in Harry's eyes was more for show. She could see the sadness, perhaps even loneliness, in those lovely green eyes of his. And maybe her anger was a little more bravado than genuine hurt too. Maybe it was easier to slip into familiar habits and poke at old wounds than admit the truth.
She missed him.
"Don't make me the villain here. You—"
"I don't want to fight with you," she said before Harry could volley anything back. "I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm sorry. It's been a long day for me, and I'm assuming yours wasn't a walk in the park either."
Harry didn't say anything, or do anything, for a moment. Then, he let his head drop, his shoulders slumping a little. Feeling more than a little bad for kicking him while he was down, Y/n stood up from the couch and fetched another glass before pouring some wine in it for her ex. "Here," she said. "A peace offering. You look like you could use it."
With a laugh that held no humor in it, he took it and raised the glass to his mouth, and Y/n tried hard not to stare at his lips. Or the column of his throat as it bobbed when he took a sip. Or—
"Is this one of mine?"
Y/n willed her cheeks not to flush. "I might've snagged a few bottles from your collection before we sold the house. Most of them went untouched anyways."
"They were aging," Harry said, a little of that humor and charm she fell in love with sparking in his eyes, the lines of his face. "You're supposed to let the bottles rest for a few years until they're at their peak, and then you drink them."
Y/n shrugged. "If you wait too long it goes bad and you miss out on a perfectly good bottle altogether, and then you do all that waiting for nothing."
She didn't mean anything by it, but both of them recognized the subtle truth in regards to their own relationship. Y/n wondered if they would ever be over this part. The stumbling through conversations and trying to avoid dangerous subjects that were littered between them like a minefield.
"Are you saying that's what happened with us?" Harry asked after taking another sip. "That I waited too long to appreciate what was right in front of me? What was perfect in every way the whole time?"
"I was talking about wine, not us."
"You've always been perfect in my eyes, Y/n," Harry said. "You and that perfect angel upstairs. Both of you are my entire world."
"Don't," Y/n said, taking a step back when she realized how close together they were.
"I miss you," Harry said, his voice hitching in his throat. "I miss waking up to our baby snuggled between us. I miss holding your hand while we watch him play at the park. I miss building pillow forts and playing pretend. I miss you, Y/n. I miss being loved by you. I hate that we're divorced. I hate that I signed those stupid papers and let you walk away."
Her throat suddenly felt dry, her heart pumping in her chest so hard she worried he might hear it. Blinking, Y/n tried to maintain the thread of composure holding her together. "You've had a long day. I can tell you need rest—"
"Don't patronize me," he said, stepping closer and closing the small distance between them once more. When Y/n didn't try to widen it again, Harry continued. "If you don't miss me, if you don't still feel what I feel, then say that. But if you do..."
Harry took Y/n's glass and set it down on the coffee table along with his own. He straightened up, one free hand lightly caressing your face, his thumb grazing across her cheek with a touch so delicate she barely felt it. It was agonizing. To have him right there, just the way she used to, and only get a phantom touch. It was maddening.
So maddening, that when he leaned in, Y/n didn't stop him.
She might have whimpered, and her knees might have slightly buckled, and she might have clutched her shirt between her fingers in a desperate, iron grip as Harry slid his mouth against hers, but she would deny it if he said anything about it later.
His kiss was all-consuming, he'd been a ghost in her new life for months, and suddenly he was everywhere—on her tongue, in her hands, against her chest. And she nearly forgot how explosive kissing him was. How it was almost like a dance that they'd mastered but were always learning new and exciting steps to. The softness of her ex's lips were as familiar as ever, but the stubble on his cheeks was new. She didn't recognize the shirt he wore, but she knew the body beneath it almost as well as her own. And his hands—
"We can't—We're not—Harry—"
Over the years, Y/n had grown used to the feeling of Harry's wedding band against her skin. When he held her hand, when he cupped her cheek, when he was spreading her open or landing a firm slap to her ass. It was familiar, a part of him that just seemed intrinsic after they got married.
But now, as she placed her hand over the one that held the side of her face as he kissed along her throat, it wasn't there. The band was gone, they weren't married anymore, and they certainly shouldn't be kissing like they still were.
"Just this once," Harry murmured, pressing the words along the curve of her jaw. "It's been so long, baby. I just want to feel you again. We can still be divorced after. Like last time."
Flames licked Y/n's core as she remembered the night in question. It had been the night the divorce had been finalized. Harry and Y/n signed and initialed every dotted line, the lawyers shook hands and left, then Harry and Y/n went their separate ways
Harry still insisted that her late-night message about a few of his possessions that got mixed in with her things was meant to have some kind of subtext, and Y/n would swear until she was blue in the face that her text was innocent, even if the activities that followed Harry coming over to "pick up" said items were anything but. It was a final goodbye. It was closing a chapter on a book neither of them ever really believed would end.
"Last time was supposed to be the last time," Y/n said, her voice shallow and not at all convincing.
"Tell me you don't want me right now," Harry said, his hand creeping beneath the waistband of her pajama pants. Y/n's mouth opened in a strangled gasp, too aroused and too in love with him still to push him away. "Tell me not to set you down on the kitchen counter and let me love on that pussy the way I used to. Tell me not to haul you upstairs and fuck you hard for breaking us up when we could've had this every. Single. Day."
Harry's last words were punctuated by the thrust of his fingers inside Y/n, each one making her curl around him tight. He lifted her into his arms and set her on the couch, the closest surface in the vicinity that wasn't hardwood flooring. His fingers still moving inside her, pumping slowly, he pressed a bruising kiss to her lips.
"Tell me not to love you anymore," he said, his teeth nipping at her bottom lip. "Tell me how to fall out of love with you. Tell me how to not dream of you. Tell me how to not want you anymore."
Y/n, who had succumbed to this moment, this lapse in...whatever it was, could only grip her ex's hair as he worked her over with his fingers, each word he spoke a balm to the loneliness these last months brought. She wasn't ready to start seeing someone else after the divorce, but now she worried no one would ever measure up to Harry. He ruined her for any other man who might try to sweep her off her feet in the future.
"Tell me, Y/n, and I'll let you come."
Y/n was a mess. She could hear it as Harry's fingers slid in and out of her quickly and harshly, then slowing down before she could finish. He used to do it all the time, knowing how worked up it made her, and now he knew nothing had changed.
"I—" she gasped. She was so close she could barely think straight. Harry's desperate words and the way his fingers curled inside her had her seeing stars. But if she knew her ex, he would stay there and edge her until she gave him what he wanted. "I don't know. I don't know how to make it stop. Please let me come."
Having thought she'd given him what he wanted, Y/n prepared herself for an earth-shattering orgasm. She surrendered herself to tonight, to him, even if she regretted it in the morning. Even if secretly she didn't, which would make her feel even worse.
But instead of pushing her over the edge, Harry removed his fingers from her altogether. The whine Y/n let out at the loss was perhaps a little undignified, but she couldn't think straight with the thick cloud of lust looming over her.
"Wh—"
"We're going to do this properly," he said, scooping her up into his arms and heading back upstairs, taking a left toward her bedroom. Their little angel boy was down the hall on the right side, but Y/n knew they still had to be quiet.
Once behind the closed door of her bedroom, they were both quick to shed each other of their clothes. Stitching ripped, a button or two flew, socks tossed carelessly to corners of the room they'd probably forget about later until there wasn't an ounce of fabric between them.
There wasn't time to stand and appreciate. This wasn't a romantic moment. It was desperate, a little angry, and intense in the way it always has been between them. Y/n kissed her ex-husband hard, her teeth sinking into his bottom lip and soothing the ache with her tongue until he eventually flipped her over onto her stomach.
"You can't be here by the time he wakes up tomorrow," Y/n managed to say. "I don't want to confuse him."
"I know," Harry said, lining himself up with her entrance. "But wouldn't it be so nice if I did?"
"Harry—"
"Relax, baby, I'll abide by your rules," he said, his voice a soft caress. "Just let me have you tonight, and then I'll be gone."
Harry slid in with one smooth thrust, Y/n's mouth dropping open in response. She hadn't been stretched this way in months, and the feel of him inside her again as if nothing had changed...
"Fuck, Harry. I'm—I'm so close," she moaned, unable to say much more than that.
His movements were torturously slow, prolonging the climax he'd been teasing out of her on the couch. Then he leaned over her, his body pressing deliciously against hers.
"We may be separated, but you're still mine," he said, his words accented by his own pleasure. "These hips? Mine. Your tits? Mine. This little cunt? Well, she already knows. Absolutely drenching me. And tonight, I'm going to make sure you remember that."
Y/n could only whimper and wait to take whatever her ex-husband was willing to give her.
*.*
Y/n was having the best dream.
Sun streamed through the small crack in her bedroom curtains as she snuggled under the weight of the warmest, coziest blanket. She held onto it, wrapping it tighter around her, hoping to get a couple more minutes of sleep before her son eventually barged in and demanded they start their day.
She had a million things to do, but none of it seemed to matter while she slept. She felt relaxed in a way she hadn't in a long time.
Then the dream seemed to change. The cozy blanket became an arm draped over her, a leg tangled between her own, and a firm body pressed against her back. The unknown form wrapped around her began to kiss along her bare back, the arm tightening its grip around her waist. Her stomach flipped as a hand began to play with her breast.
She hadn't had one of those dreams in a long time, either.
Before the dream could go any further, Y/n regrettably began to feel the pinpricks of consciousness. But as she blinked her eyes open, she still felt that weight of another body next to hers, of someone other than herself occupying her bed.
It was then that last night made an appearance in her mind, recalling every dirty detail of how she'd given into her ex-husband.
"Good morning."
Harry's voice was low and gruff as if he'd only just woken up himself. The puffs of his breaths dusted over Y/n's skin and sent goosebumps all over. She didn't understand how her body, even while it was still waking up, was so responsive to him.
As casually as possible, she said, "You weren't supposed to stay over."
"Honestly, I don't even remember falling asleep," Harry admitted, though he made no move to leave her Y/n's bed.
"You have to go before he wakes up," she insisted, even if her body was completely against that idea. "He can't find you here. If he does, he'll have questions, and—"
Before Y/n could even finish, she heard the soft patter of feet against soft carpet. Then her door creaked open, and the light of her life appeared.
"Daddy!"
Y/n rested her hands over her face, but not before seeing Harry's broad grin out of the corner of her eye, one that was nearly identical to the little boy at the foot of the bed.
"Hey, buddy," Harry said, his voice less husky than it was just moments ago. "What are you doing up so early, huh?"
"Why are you in bed with Mommy?" the boy asked, climbing into bed with his parents and wriggling around until he was snuggled between them.
Wasn't that the question, Y/n thought, though she was in no rush to help Harry.
"Mummy and Daddy decided to have a sleepover," Harry explained.
"Oh. Well, why didn't you invite me?"
"Because..." Y/n felt Harry's gaze on her, but she was not inclined to dig him out of this hole. Their night was over. It was a new day, which meant everything was back to the way it was before Harry came over last night. "Because I wanted to surprise you this morning. We're all going to spend the day together. Just the three of us."
"Yay!"
"What?"
Y/n glared over the top of her son's head as he half-hugged half-tackled Harry from sheer excitement. This was definitely not reverting back to their normal routine of co-parenting and seeing each other only when it was necessary. Harry, who looked thoroughly pleased with himself, slid out of bed with their boy still latched into him.
Thankfully, he was wearing underwear, but that didn't help Y/n much. She couldn't help but stare at his muscles flexing as he stood and stretched while he held their son. At all the tattoos that littered his body and the mess of curls on his head. He had no right to look this good in the morning, especially when Y/n knew for a fact that she always looked haggard no matter what when she first woke up.
Not that her appearance in front of her ex mattered to her.
"Come on, let's start with making your mum some breakfast. I'm thinking...waffles?"
"Do not make a mess of my kitchen, Harry," Y/n warned, not even bothering to protest the idea in its entirety. She wouldn't have been able to tell her son no even if he tried. Not with how excited he looked at the prospect of spending the day with his dad.
"We'll clean up after ourselves, I promise," Harry said with a wink in your direction. "You stay there and rest. I know you had a...long night."
Y/n threw a pillow at Harry's retreating form before flopping back into her bed. She had half a mind to strut right over to him and prove him wrong, but, well, the dull ache between her legs was starting to make itself known, and the damage of her son seeing Harry in her bed was already done. She might as well stay in bed and take the morning off if Harry was offering.
Sighing, Y/n ran a tired hand over her face as one realization after another made themselves known.
Everything about last night and this morning was messy and would no doubt bring about consequences and difficult conversations she wasn't inclined to have. There were questions she didn't want to ask or know the answer to, but one thing was abundantly clear:
She was well and truly fucked.
#harry styles#harry styles blurb#harry styles angst#harry styles x reader#harry styles fanfic#harry styles oneshot#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles x you#harry styles fluff#harry styles writing#harry styles one shot#harry styles fic
1K notes
·
View notes