#i just can't bring myself to commit to watching it lol

[little-pup-pip]

hii can i please req a board based off of monkey d. luffy from one piece? boyre-themed, aged around 8-12 please (no paci!)!! other than that nything thats sort of pirate/marine themed added in would be awesome

ghank you!!! ahh

Yes!!

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[yesimwriting]

okay but after the whole lucy gray thing we know coryo was done with “love” and everything BUT what if during the following year of thg he ends up falling in love with another tribute also from district 12 and he’s just going through it bad (again) however he somehow ends up actually getting the girl in the end, maybe even buying her way into the capitol

A/n I've been thinking about a very specific part of this since i first read it but i told myself no more fic writing until i finished at least one of my essays for finals seasons 😭

also ik in the book (and it's implied in the movie) that after the events of the book he lives with the plinths, but let's pretend he lives on his own with access to the plinth fortune for privacy

ik that makes it sound like it's smutty, but it's not lol

----

Proximity aggravates distance. The closer you are to something, the more damage any remaining space causes.

The few feet dividing the two of you have no right to jab at something inside of him the way it does. It's bad enough that instead of going to bed after a long night of fulfilling his apprenticeship duties under Volumnia's watchful eye, he stopped by your apartment. Only one floor away from his.

For months, the only thing holding the two of you together had been memories of those few nights before the Games.

Coriolanus's attempt to remain indifferent towards you had quickly failed, and his backup plan of learning to loathe you had proven to be just as useless. So he settled on letting you unabashedly take his hand whenever fear overwhelmed you and committing the way your kind eyes watched him to memory.

You're looking around the room--his room--openly, eyes darting from the mahogany surface of his desk to the details elegantly carved into his bed frame.

His fingertips itch with the uncertain desire to reach for you. You've only been in the Capitol for about a day and a half. Less than 48 hours. But the move, the beginning of a program for certain, qualifying victors and their families, had been planned for months.

You shouldn't feel like a phantom that'll vanish if he lets go for too long. "What are you thinking about?"

The question grounds you the same way it did last time he asked. You do your best to hide it, but you're still adjusting, still surprised that he managed to find a way to bring you together again. Just like he promised. Your doubt isn't personal, a fact he has to remind himself of.

"I'm just..." You tilt your head slightly, gaze retreating from the royal blue wallpaper and silver trim of his bedroom walls, "Analyzing."

The comment is followed by an easygoing smile that pinches at something in his chest. His new apartment, the penthouse of one of the largest buildings in the city, another gift from the ever flowing well that is the Plinth fortune, still reeks of former poverty. The few things that hint at the personal are hidden behind layers of desperate wealth so thick the items might as well be standard.

A lifetime spent in 12 means that there's no way you can read between the lines. He can't decide if your perspective will make this room look worse or better. It's a nice bedroom, definitely grander than any bedroom you've stood in before...but it's understated. Maybe even disappointing to someone like you.

"Analyzing?"

You turn fully, "A bedroom says a lot about a person."

"You might get more out of analyzing my study," an oddly school boy worthy partial truth slips out before he can stop himself, "I think I've been spending more time there than here recently."

You shake your head once, eyes landing on the crimson red vase filed with crisp white roses his grandma'am had gifted him on his last visit. Her pride and joy now more than ever. "I'm seeing all I need."

A hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. It's the most genuine expression that's slipped past him in weeks. When he first worked out a way to bring you here, some doubting part of him wondered if the draw he felt towards you would still exist in person.

Less than two weeks after your victorious departure from the Capitol, he had searched through your files and found your address. He had written the letter in a moment of weakness and only sent it after deciding that writing a letter to never be sent is the only thing more pathetic than writing to you in the first place. He had spent the week following that wallowing in self loathing until an age-stained envelope arrived at his door.

"And what are you seeing?" He keeps his tone light. This is ridiculous. He dragged himself and his family out of a gutter clogged by the casualties of war. Coriolanus is stronger than fleeting emotion now. Your opinions on his room can't possibly affect him.

If he were to simplify what brought you here, to the Capitol, to him, he could blame it on his bedroom. The urge to see you, to figure out some way the two of you closer together before your undeserving district could swallow you whole in an attempt to make you like them, would flare up whenever he received one of your letters.

Those urges, however, had never burned him. Not until you wrote about wanting to see him out of the most curious nostalgia you'd ever felt. You wanted to see him in a way that'd let you know what his room looked like, in a way that'd let you guess at his favorite color.

He takes a few steps forward, making the conscious decision to not reach for you. You've never rejected his advances, not even when he instinctually intertwined your fingers after picking you and your family up from the train station. You had scolded him after, telling him that you'd hear no end of it from your mother. It took a lot of focus for Coriolanus to not smile at that. You spoke of it like it would've never occurred to you to just pull your hand away.

Your eyes shift from end of the room to the other. Coriolanus moves carefully, passing you before sitting at the edge of his crisply made bed.

"Before you make your decision..." You turn instinctually, expression so polite and expecting he almost doesn't know how to bear it. His hand briefly pats the space beside him in a silent invitation. "So you can see it from all perspectives."

Your head tilts slightly, and for a moment, Coriolanus can practically feel your rejection. Then you move, sock clad feet treading over smooth white-gray marble. You sit next to him so assuredly, anyone else would have taken the way you neatly fold your hands in your lap as politeness instead of a display of nerves.

Your family's presence makes you less pliable. It's a factor he's willing to work around considering that you would've never left them to come to the Capitol. And even if he had managed to talk you into it, your nostalgia and homesickness would've made you more of a ghost to him than before.

At least the position your family's in is uncertain enough to allow for some leeway in the social norms that you cling to. However, every once in awhile it hits you that at the end of the day, he's still a boy that you're close to, which means that it's your duty to create the distance necessary to keep everything proper. Leaving your bedroom in the middle of the night because said boy knocked at your door and then entering his room in his empty penthouse is something you would've done under normal circumstances.

But your connection isn't that black and white. If it was something so simple, he would have been able to sever it the night before your Games.

"It makes all the difference," you agree warmly, and only somewhat sarcastically. You give yourself another second to take in the space, "I like it."

He can tell that you mean it. "I haven't fully settled in yet."

You shrug, paying him little mind, "There's something about it that just feels like you."

Coriolanus shifts his focus to the ground. You can't possibly mean it in the way that he sees the room, as a reminder that he still doesn't fully fit into who he's become.

"I've been meaning to pick up a few things," he says, "Tomorrow, after my classes, I was thinking about browsing some paintings." Another half truth. He had been meaning to. Mrs. Plinth had instructed him to visit her art dealer whenever he had enough free time to pick out a few pieces to demonstrate his taste. He'd been putting it off as a dismissable task, but it feels like a safe way to give you your first taste of life in the Capitol. "If you'd like to help me pick some out."

You smile, eyebrows pinching together in a way that's just barely noticeable. You're as interested as you are puzzled. "I'd like that." Relaxing enough to let your hand rest between the two of you, you beam, "I don't know if I'd be much help, but I'd like that."

He'd be willing to get anything that caught your eye. Paintings and vases already with such an exclusive art dealer hold more or less the same level of standing, anyway.

Coriolanus moves his hand slowly, careful not to startle you before his fingers can settle against your own. You instinctually turn over your palm, intertwining your fingers. "I trust you."

You stare at him with wide, understanding eyes. Sometimes when you look at him, really look at him, Coriolanus is struck with the feeling that you can see right through him. It's an irrational feeling, that every good action and cruel deed is reflected in his eyes. Moments like this make it hard to be near you. They also, however, make the thought of adding distance between the two of you unbearable.

"I have an early class."

You dip your chin forward in an attempt to accept what you're considering a dismissal. "Right, you must be tired." The words sit between you for a long moment.

Your free hand presses into the silk of your still new pajamas. You shift like you're going to stand. His hold on your hand tightens before you can move away. You still.

He's being ridiculous. There's nothing about this situation that warrants his inability to look at you. "Stay here." His thumb runs across your knuckles. "With me."

The words are soft enough to be a request, but there's not enough space between them for questioning. He cautiously lifts his head enough to take in your reaction.

"What?" It's a display of shock more than an actual question. Coriolanus squeezes your hand even tighter. You don't try to get him to let go, but you do shift away just enough to create the reminder of distance. "You know I can't."

His other hand reaches forward, settling against your wrist. "Why not?" He doesn't mean for his voice to come off as raspy, as desperate as it does.

You swallow, attempting to straighten your spine in an attempt to offset the instinctual urge to hide your face. This isn't a topic you're even comfortable implying. "My mother would kill me if she so much as found out that I came up here so late, let alone..." You trail off, head dropping to your lap. "Stayed here."

He envelops your hand between both of his. "She knows we're friendly."

You look up just long enough to imply a pointed not that friendly. "It's--" You blink, eyes darting from to your joint hands and then finally to the ground. "You know it's..."

Coriolanus leans forward. The shift is small, just enough for his knee to brush against yours. "It's what?" He keeps his voice low, a barely there whisper that comes off as so innocent it nearly circles back to anything but.

You glance up, so wide eyed and flighty he's reminded of a rabbit. The level of precaution you're exuding can't just be about your mother's opinions, can it? He studies your expression openly, taking in the set of your eyebrows and the way you steadily press your lips together to avoid speaking without thinking. At least some part of you believes in your mother's concerns.

The realization strike shim so quickly he has to focus on keeping his expression neutral. Your bond is so much more than just coming together on a random night where exhaustion's already clouding his focus.

It will happen between the two of you. Eventually. But not yet. You've barely entered the Capitol and every aspect of your life has become vastly different than what you're accustomed to. If he were to attempt to cement any relationship between the two of you like that now, you'd be too overwhelmed or you might think that that's the only reason he brought you here.

He learned early on that it's best to introduce adjustments to you slowly, giving you enough time to hold onto ideas before enacting them. Anything of that nature would work that way too.

"I haven't been able to see much of you." He focuses on your hand, still resting safely between both of his. The words came out too quickly, a flash of some genuine sort of emotion that claw at him on the way out. With you, sometimes a glimpse of feeling works wonders.

Your thumb draws gentle patterns against the side of his hand. "You're busy." He relaxes his hand, turning over his palm. You place his hand on your knee, fingers tracing the natural creases etched into his skin. "You're important."

The way that last word comes out makes an uncertain warmth crawl up his neck. "I--I've wanted to see you more." Another thing he means so much it turns his stomach to admit it.

Your nail drags down a line that cuts across the length of his hand. "Me too."

He bends his fingers slowly, moving in until he's trapped your pointer finger against his palm. "Then stay." You twist your finger enough to express some lighthearted irritation, but not enough to count as a real attempt at escaping. "If your mother says anything, I'll explain it to her." You glare at him without any true aggression. "She likes me, doesn't she?"

Coriolanus already knows the answer. She credits your survival to him. You had mentioned that in a letter once, telling him that she insisted you pass along her gratitude after discovering that the two of you had started to correspond regularly.

He also saw the way she reacted to realizing that she had made it to the Capitol. Your mother's family had once been part of the wealthier side of 12. You're part of a recently fallen line of mine owners, a fact that your mother has only pretended to let go of. He saw a hunger behind her eyes that reminded him of a warped version of his own.

Coriolanus gave her back the pride the war had stolen from her family name tenfold. He owes her this much.

"She'd trade me for you in a heartbeat." He hears the grin in your voice more than he sees it. Your family means the world to you, which means he's subjected himself to seeking your mother's validation and winning over your two younger sisters.

It's not the way he'd choose to spend his limited free time, especially with you standing right there, but he's endured worse for less of a pay off. "Then she'd be a fool."

You fight to hold his gaze. "I doubt that."

Your eyes are pools of honest, unfiltered affection. The care that you're watching him with makes it hard to swallow. The instinct to press, to dig and claw and tear anything that could be hiding an ulterior motive into shreds makes it hard to take a full breath. You've always worn your heart on your sleeve. You're not a flighty songbird that uses its charm to distract its prey from its fang-like talons.

"Stay." Again. So breathless he almost doesn't recognize the word as his own.

The deliberation is transparent behind your eyes. You're considering it, but you're still not convinced. The hesitation stings in a way he doesn't understand. "I don't want to give her a reason to not like you."

So softly spoken he's shocked by the way the words manage to feel like a nail being hammered into his chest.

"She's let you stay with other people before." The response is too sharp, too sudden. He should refocus and think through what he's about to say. Coriolanus knows that it's easier to get you to agree to something through the use of honey sweetened words and displays of patience. "You wrote about him."

The confusion that briefly etches its way into your expression threatens to quell the uncomfortable swell of jealousy tightening his chest. "Warren?" The name makes tints the air between you with something acidic. "That was--different."

Your explanation adds an edge to the pressure in his chest. "Why?"

"We weren't--" You cut yourself off, the instinct to placate him and your desire to not start a conversation you can't finish battling each other oddly. "We were never alone." You squeeze his hand as best as you can. "He's a family friend and I only stayed over when my mom had to work late and I was too young to be alone for so long, so I haven't stayed over in years. And--and he shared a room with three of his siblings and his parents checked on us constantly."

He frowns, unconvinced. The lack of approval has you clinging to him, adjusting your hold on his hand as you gently trail your knuckles against the inside of his wrist. "I do miss you." You stare at your hands. "I know it's weird because we're--y'know--closer than before, but I-I do miss you."

The expanding wave of tension in his chest begins to deflate. You're good at that, at redirecting and soothing without even realizing it. A talent that had contributed to his original desire to loathe you. "I understand that." He runs his thumb over your knuckles. "Things aren't going to get less busy. That's why I want to use all the time we have."

You nod slowly, a hint of understanding making its appearance in the set of your brow. "I know."

"What you wrote," he begins, too aware of how much he means the question that follows, "Did you mean it."

"Of course I did." Not an ounce of hesitation, of uncertainty.

He turns your hand over before shifting his fingers up the inside of your wrist. "You wrote about wanting to see me."

"I did..." The pad of his thumb gently makes its way up your forearm. Your even breathing falters. "I do."

Coriolanus lets himself look up just enough to take in your expression. "Then stay." He swallows, too aware of the sudden dryness of his mouth. "Please."

You glance up at him through your lashes. There's a softness there that jabs at him. "Okay."

He lifts the back of your hand, carefully brushing his lips against your skin. "You mentioned wanting to see a library."

You wrote about it once. A brief mention in one of your letters of the small room in your school's office that served as a sort of communal study space with a few books stacked on a small shelf. Your longing had been clear.

Nodding curiously, you agree, "Yeah?"

"I could leave for my classes a little earlier tomorrow, you could come with me." The proposal comes out slowly, his own suggestion taking him by surprise. "My driver could bring you back, that'll give you time to meet the tutor that's being sent over for your sisters, and then when I get back we'll look at the paintings."

You immediately grin, "Really?"

He finds himself smiling back, pulling your arm closer. "Whatever you want."

You beam. "I'd really like that."

"Good," he affirms with a nod of his head that's a touch too forward. He regrets it almost immediately. "If you like it, I might be able to get your own tutor to meet you at a library."

Part of the still uncertain victor program relies on setting up the victor and their family with a new life. Education plays a role in that. Placing any one of you in an actual Capitol run institution is far out of the question. For everyone's sake. Even if the thought of sharing a classroom with someone from 12 didn't horrify the Capitol parents, you and your siblings wouldn't be able to just jump in. It's not that he views you as unintelligent, but District 12's education system isn't exactly on par with the Capitol's.

"That sounds nice," you sit up a little straighter, excited by the prospect, "A part of me kind of misses school."

Another aspect of your personality that he had learned about after your Games. You like school for the sake of it. "I'll check on the arrangements tomorrow."

He clears his throat before you can do more than just nod, "It's getting late."

Coriolanus carefully sets your hand down on the comforter. You awkwardly shift, now more aware of what you agreed to than ever. "Right," you push yourself to stand, "You need your sleep."

He pulls back his sheets before you can think about it even further. You crawl into the provided space without looking at anything in particular. He's quick to join you beneath the safety of plush bedding before leaning over and turning off the bedside lamp.

Darkness floods the space. There's something about the absence of light that makes things feel heavier. The potential intimacy of the situation sneaks up on him with no warning.

This isn't a loss of control. It can't be. It was his idea, he had pushed and convinced you to stay here. He's aware of everything that's led up to this moment, but that's not enough to stop him from wondering if this is something than he should have known better than to embrace. He had accepted the familiar, fickle knotting of his stomach once before.

Steady warmth presses itself against his arm. He blinks, head turning a second too quickly. Your hand has found his. Coriolanus relaxes, allowing himself to fully relax against his pillow. You pick up on his shift, reflecting it by laying down as well.

For someone that had been so hesitant, you seem to know what to do better than he does. You pull his arm towards you, gently trailing your fingers against the exposed skin. Heat crawls up his neck.

"Goodnight," you mumble, voice already drowsy.

Coriolanus lets out a long breath. He grasps your hand, bringing it back to his lips before settling back into the position the two of you were in before. "Goodnight."

[sorrowsofsilence]

Burning Out • VII

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 4.4k

General Fanfic Warnings: 18+, explicit language, smut, alcohol, drugs, violence, mentions murder/suicide, panic attacks/anxiety, nightmares

Authors note: Chapter Seven - I wish I wasn't lost (EDITED 09-03-24)

new? start from chapter one here

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY, IN REAL LIFE! IT IS SIMPLY FICTION, AND JUST FOR FUN! THINK OF THEM AS ACTORS LOL.

+

I moaned as she slid down one more time and I gripped her hair, holding her still. I filled her tongue as threads of my release coated the back of her throat. The sight below me left my legs shaking as I pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ears, and rubbing my fingers underneath her chin in endearment.

What have I done?

“Good girls swallow,” I whispered and she moaned.

“Open,” I said, watching in complete reverence as she stuck out her tongue, showing me that she obeyed, drinking in all of me.

I leaned down towards her, pulling her chin up to kiss me as I melted into her lips, sighing with commitment.

What have I done?

+++++

NOAH

I wonder how How can it be that two souls live beneath my chest? I wander on Through the snowfall And the firestorm

One week passed.

I had resorted to stealing from a few homes, but the objects I took were worth nothing compared to the cost of Y/N's drugs. After selling everything, I only made 4.5k, barely enough to maintain my daily goal of 645; and I was desperately trying to come up with another scheme to earn more cash. With my stolen money in hand, I went to one of D's associates, feeling a surge of anger at the smug grin on his face as he greedily snatched the envelope from my grasp.

‘Having fun Sebastian? Surprised you even made this much yourself.’It took everything in me to walk away without bashing his fucking face in.

As each day passed I was being eaten alive by guilt, and I could barely look at Y/N. She noticed the shift in my behaviour, persistently asking me what was wrong and if she had done something.

‘Nothing,’ I would say.

‘Just stressed,’ I would say.

Our final night together was the night I stole her medication. As she held me in her arms, drifting off into a peaceful slumber, I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes. Instead, I quietly cried while she slept, unaware of the lies that lay next to her.

The next morning, I lied and said I would sleep in the spare bedroom across the hall. The expression on her face was heart-wrenching.

‘Oh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I know that the nightmares are hard to deal with.’ She had said, her eyes falling briefly before she attempted to hide her expression with a smile.

My heart yearned at her words, wanting to hold her against my chest, ready to block out all the evil in the world if it meant protecting her. It wasn’t the nightmares that pushed me away, it was myself.

‘I don’t want to invade your space more than I already am.’ I responded.

I watched her take her pills when she did, my chest clenching in shame with every sip of water that followed the lies.

I wish I wasn't afraid of The haunted valley

The boys watched the remorse control me as I began to shut off the world, secluding myself from Y/N, and them.

I wish I wasn't a failure That nobody needs

“Noah?”

In the depths of my mind, I'm lost and confined A question gnaws at my core; I can't deny

“Noah.” Am I a mere illusion, a ghost in the crowd? Or do I carry a soul screaming out loud?

“Noah!”

I pulled out my earbuds at the call of my name, and my eyes squinted open. Ruffilo stood over me as I lay on the mattress in the basement, drowning in lyrics. The music blared from the removed bud as Nicholas glared, folding his arms.

I wish the voices in my head stopped their shrill tongues Just for a second so I could breathe some fresh air For a moment so I could stop sinking into despair I am a traitor in the face of myself

“Did you want to work on the song?” He asked, “Or are you wallowing in self-pity?”

A slave to a maggot that eats away my soul I ask the mountains to consume me as a whole How long will I be captured in this maze in the hail?

The song.

Y/N had hooked us up with a gig at Sammy’s tomorrow night, and Jolly had the brilliant idea of finishing our first-ever set with an original song; despite us never even playing for an audience. I wasn’t sure if I was more nervous about playing some shitty music in front of an audience of strangers, or that one of the audience members would be Y/N.

I shrugged and closed my eyes, sinking into the softness of the pillow with the bud still in my ear. Nicholas shook his head at me. He leaned over, tugging on one earbud to make me listen to him.

"Come on, you can't mope forever," he said with a sigh.

"I can try," I retorted, pulling the bud back from him as I sat up.

"You've been ignoring her for days. Can't you see how much it's hurting her? You messed up, not her." Nicholas' words hit me like a slap in the face.

I turned away from his piercing gaze, but I couldn't help but notice Jolly and Folio pretending to work while eavesdropping on our conversation.

"She's been bringing your regular coffee every day after work because you haven't even been showing up," Nicholas continued, his tone sharp.

I felt guilty as I chewed on the inside of my cheek, unable to meet anyone's eyes. She has?

I rolled my head back “I know. None of it is fair to her.”

Nicholas perched on a chair by the wall, observing me with caution in his eyes. "You need to stop taking your guilt out on her," he said.

I let out a deep breath and got up from the bed, tossing my earbuds onto the sheets. "I can't even look at her without feeling like she sees through me," I admitted.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Nicholas asked.

I scoffed and threw my hands up in frustration. "Yes it is, because I took her pills and had to watch her swallow fake ones," I ranted as I paced around the room. "Pills that are supposed to help her, but are nothing but deceit!"

Nicholas kept his gaze on me, his brow furrowed. Folio's face also showed disappointment as he watched from the side.

"She takes those pills expecting relief, but I took that away from her!" I stopped walking for a moment, pressing my palms against my eyes and exhaling loudly in turmoil.

"You made a choice," Nicholas stood up and approached me, standing in front of me.

He looked into my eyes with a mix of anger and sadness. "I hate seeing you like this, Noah, but you messed up."

"I know I messed up, Nick," I replied, my chest rising and falling rapidly. Nicholas wrapped his arms around me, offering comfort.

"You need to tell her," he advised, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I collapsed into his hug, holding onto my brother tightly. "I can't...not yet," I whispered.

“So you plan on ignoring her for weeks until everything with D is over?” Nicholas shook his head, “We’re living with her now. You can’t just avoid her and you shouldn’t after everything she’s done for us.”

I stepped back from him and nodded in agreement, “I know; that’s why I’ve been considering...”

“Considering what?” Nicholas raised an eyebrow.

“A pharmacy robbery.”

“By yourself?” He chuckled, watching me carefully. “Are you serious?”

I heard Jolly laughing in the corner and gave him a sharp look.

“Of course I'm serious,” I shrugged. “But I could make a ton of money from this Vincent guy by getting pure drugs.”

“The last time you pulled off a big solo heist was when we got into this mess in the first place. You don't take on big jobs alone.”

The lights flickered around the room as I sat on the motel bed, my chest heaving with excitement. A seventeen-year-old Ruffilo sat beside me with the tattoo machine ready to brand my knuckles as twelve-year-old Folio watched eagerly.

“Today’s the day,” Jolly cheered, a wide smile stretching across his face as he threw a beer in my direction, “Our young padawan becomes a man.”

The can fumbled between my fingers as I looked down at it proudly, jittering with thrill. Jolly’s never let me drink before.

I opened the can in acceptance, hesitant to take the first sip with shaky hands, before bringing it up to my mouth. The beer was pungent and bitter, my lips puckering with furrowed brows; yeah, it was disgusting.

I tried to hide my distaste with a weak smile, “Yum.”

Jolly laughed, throwing his head back in amusement.

“You might want to chug it,” He said, taking a sip of his own beverage, “the knuckles hurt like a bitch.”

My eyes danced between him and the can as Nicholas and Nick began chanting, “Noah, Noah, Noah!”

Jolly joined with a raised fist, smiling with admiration as I chugged the drink, throwing the can to the floor in excitement as I stomped on it, the scream of elation ripping through my lungs as we all laughed. Nicholas hollered as he grabbed my shoulders, shaking me and I grinned, living within this moment of adventure.

“You ready?” Nicholas said, raising a quizzical brow as I began to feel the buzz. I nodded eagerly, throwing my hands in front of the table placed next to the bed.

Nicholas slid plastic gloves over his own tatted fingers before he wiped my knuckles with an alcohol wipe.

“There’s no going back,” He smiled as I sucked in a breath, anticipating the familiar scratching of the needle as it embedded the letters into my skin.

“Happy fourteenth birthday, baby bro,” Jolly walked over to me, patting my back. He handed me a crumbled paper bag, and with my free hand, I reached inside excitedly, pulling out the fabric.

I bit my lip as I tried to hide my smile but couldn’t. I was finally one of them.

“Your first mask.” Jolly nodded in approval. I tried pulling it over my head but couldn’t with one hand, so Jolly reached over, pulling it down over my face.

He bent down in front of me, his hand on top of my head as he shook me with fondness and it took everything in me not to cry with happiness at his praise.

That evening Nicholas wrapped my knuckles with black tape, protecting the freshly wounded skin. He went over the plan with Jolly, pointing towards the map indicating where I was to go, and where I would meet them after.

“This garage is filled with fancy as fuck cars,” Jolly nodded, leaning over the table, “so you have options. Don’t settle for any car, but don’t linger too long.”

“Remember, Kia’s and Hyundai’s are easier to hotwire, so you’ll have better luck getting in and out,” Nicholas said and I nodded as I jumped up and down, amping myself up.

“The alarms will go off almost immediately once you break in. People in this hotel get that shit valet, so someone is bound to notice right away.”

“Don’t forget, one, Underneath the steering wheel column find the wiring harness connector, Two, Pull aside the battery, ignition, and starter wire bundle, Three, Strip about 1 inch of the battery wires and twist them together. Fourth, Connect the ignition on/off wire to the battery wire.” Jolly listed and I nodded with each of his commands, reciting them back, “And don’t forget to break the steering lock or you won’t be able to drive.”

“Wire bundle, trip and twist, ignition to the battery,” I repeated, “Steering lock.”

+

“Well, I have no choice,” I threw my arms up, laughing, “What, you want me to ask Y/N then?”

Ask Y/N…

“No but-” Jolly started, but I interrupted him. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. She could be a diversion. A distraction in the plan.

“Y/N could be an extra body, and perhaps…” I trailed off, my mind wandering in thought. Yes, this was crazy; and the idea that followed even more so…but perhaps it could work.

“Okay,” Nicholas said as anger started bubbling from his tone as he watched me with disbelief, “And?”

“And,” I grabbed his shoulder as a smile wound up on my lips, “I can steal Y/N’s prescription while I’m there, and then replace her meds. So, she’ll never know.”

Nicholas rolled his head back in annoyance, almost laughing at my words, “Dude, you’re just going to dig yourself a hole here. You can’t be serious. Just tell her the truth about the fucking pills rather than getting her more involved.”

“I will eventually,” I sighed, “Just not now.”

“You do know how hard it is to steal from businesses alone versus a few houses here and there?” Jolly said as he scribbled in his notebook, “What is Y/N going to be able to do? Other than putting her and you in danger?”

“I have a plan,” I said, as I started pacing around the room.

“You’re considering her help? Are you fucking insane?” Jolly’s mouth hung open, “Du är en riktig klydderöv.” (You are an ass who likes to make things harder than they are)

“Listen,” I held my hands up in defence, but Nicholas threw his arms up.

“You can’t be serious; she could get hurt! You’re just using her?” he seethed.

“And you guys aren’t?” I laughed, pointing to the guitars and motioned around the room, “We are fucking freeloaders.”

“Aren't you worried about her getting injured?Caught? Better yet, Arrested?” Nick asked through clenched teeth. Why did he care so much?

“Of course I fucking am!” I growled, trying to not let any more guilt eat away at my insides, “I just want to have her as an extra body for that bit of fear factor. I don’t want her doing anything upfront or dangerous.”

“That’s still dangerous!” Nicholas exclaimed, “The fact she will be in that situation in the first place is not a good idea.”

I nodded in agreement, “I know. But what other choice do I have right now?” My eyes danced past each of the boys.

I knew this wasn’t the best idea, but my options were slim. I wanted to continue whatever was going on with Y/N- I didn’t want to feel this guilt, and if I was being honest with myself…

I was scared.

I was scared she wouldn’t see past my deceit, and I was scared she would hate me. That she wouldn’t forgive me.

I knew I had to make up for everything that had happened, but the first step was getting her proper medication back.

And to do that, I needed her help.

I wonder how How can it be that two souls live beneath my chest? I wander on Through the snowfall And the firestorm

“Let’s work on the song,” Folio changed the subject as the room heated, and I sighed heavily.

“Yeah, whatever,” I sat back on the mattress, pulling up the lyrics I wrote on my phone.

“Whatcha got Noah?” Jolly asked as he picked up the guitar.

“You've run out of luck, and I'm calling your bluff You stabbed me in the back, but not deep enough But not deep enough I see through you.” I hummed.

Jolly nodded as he tried to match the chords.

“Then the chorus, yada yada,” I said, eyes scanning my device as my thumb scrolled the screen.

“You said I'd never make it, you said I'd fall on my face But now I'm right where I belong, and I put you in your place You said I'd never make it, you said I'd make a mistake But now I'm right where I belong, and you've got nothing to say.”

Jolly eyed me briefly with a slight glare as I spoke, and I avoided his eyes.

“I like it,” Nicholas said, plucking the bass.

+++++

Y/N

With my fingers wrapped around the paper coffee cup, I sighed, fiddling with my keys to open the front door to my house.

Noah’s sudden distance made my chest clench in worry.

“look at me, show me those pretty eyes while I fuck your mouth,” he demanded and my lashes flicked up toward him, his body shuddering as I stared into him with complete greed.

The last time we spoke was that night.I chalked it up to him being busy paying back D, but I couldn’t help but feel slightly broken, and that it was my fault for his distance.

Doubt ate at my insides, beginning to regret inviting them into my home.

I wish I wasn't afraid of The haunted valley I wish I wasn't a failure

Maybe Noah saw how unwell I was, after the nightmare. Maybe this whole situation made him uncomfortable. I made him uncomfortable.

That nobody needs That nobody needs That nobody needs

I'm sure he heard me wake up screaming at night, and it hurt me to know that he wasn't the one who came running in to check on me. But that's okay, not that he had to. However, Nicholas was always there in a heartbeat. Living with the boys was easy, and I enjoyed spending game nights with Nick, Jolly, and Nicholas. Surprisingly, we got along well and I developed a close bond with Nicholas over the past few days. He must have noticed my internal struggle because he would often reassure me when I came home between shifts, rushing down to the basement with a cup of coffee to see Noah, only to be disappointed when he wasn't there.

“Hey,” Nicholas had waved, his gaze falling when he saw the coffee in my hands.

“Not home?” I asked, giving him a sad smile.

“No… I don’t know where he is either.”

I shared a curt nod before turning around to run back up the stairs.

“Y/N?” Nicholas called out before I took the first step up.

I stopped, sucking in a breath before sighing, “Did- did I do something wrong?” I asked, turning to look at him briefly.

Nicholas shook his head quickly, “No! No, of course not. You’ve done nothing but be kind to us.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m the problem? Did I scare him away?”

Nicholas’ shoulders dropped as he patted the seat on the couch next to him, pulling me into his side. I rested my head on his shoulder as he rubbed my arm warmly.

“Noah is a difficult creature,” He said, “But I haven’t seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

I sniffed, “Then why is he ignoring me?”

Nicholas stiffened at the question, and I tried to shrug it off, but I knew that he knew.

“I- he’s going through it. This is a lot of money for him to get himself, without any help.”

I pulled away from his hug, “I just wish he would let me help.”

I closed the door behind me, smiling down at Juice as he greeted me. I heard someone puttering in the kitchen and assumed it was Nicholas.

“Hey, Ruffilo-” I shouted, slipping off my shoes and prancing into the kitchen. I immediately gasped in surprise when it was not Ruffilo, but Noah, who sat at the table munching on a grilled cheese. Our eyes locked as we silently exchanged words, and my breath hitched in my throat. Why did I feel so nervous?

My face flushed with embarrassment as I stood frozen in place, staring at him for a moment too long before bowing my head in anxiety. My heart raced, and I couldn't help but want to stare at his perfect smile or the way his long hair framed his face.

"Hey," he said gently, his eyes burning into me as I placed my bag on the counter and took a deep breath. I tried to distract myself by placing his coffee on the counter and grabbing a cup from the cupboard to fill with water.

"How are you?" he asked, still gazing at me intensely. I hesitated before turning around, my back pressed against the counter as I let my eyes meet his. I couldn't help wondering why he suddenly wanted to talk to me after days of distance. Part of me wanted to walk away.

"Um," I took a slow sip of water, the cool liquid offering little relief from the tension between us, "I'm good. And you?"

He watched as I took another sip, his eyes scanning over the glass and my fingers wrapped around it. He hesitated before speaking again, as if afraid of what he was about to say.

"I'm okay," he began, trailing off before looking away, fixating on the ground as he spoke softly, "I've missed you."

My heart raced as he revealed his feelings, and I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. Part of me wanted to brush off his words, while the other part wanted to wrap my arms around him and give in to his touch. Did he truly miss me, or was he just trying to ease his guilt for being absent for the past few days? Regardless, the way my breath caught in nervous anticipation showed how thrilled I was to see him.

"I got your coffee..." I murmured, not sure what else to say as I turned and handed him the cup. Our fingers grazed each other lightly as we exchanged the drink, sending tingles up my arm and butterflies fluttering in my stomach - reminiscent of the day we first met.

He gave me a small smile and thanked me shyly, but I could sense that something else was on his mind as he took a sip.

For a brief moment, silence hung between us as unspoken thoughts danced in the air.

“I’ve missed you too,” I confessed quietly as my cheeks warmed, and I began playing with my fingers nervously.

Noah’s ears flushed with colour as he genuinely smiled, “Let me take you out tonight.”

“I- I have work,” I stammered, excitement replaced with disappointment.

“Call in. Let me take you on a date.” He shook his head as he took another sip, refusing to let down.

“I can’t afford to call in,” I gave him a sad smile, “But I would love to go out with you this weekend when I’m free?”

“I’ll give you the money then,” He stood up now, grabbing the glass from my hands before pulling my palms into his grasp, “Just let me treat you.”

His October eyes begged as they bore into me, trying to read my mind. I looked away, trying not to succumb to his silent plea but instead, I smiled, looking at our connected hands. Why was he suddenly being this way?

“Stop looking at me like that,” I laughed.

“Like what?” He teased, before sticking out his bottom lip, packing on the puppy dog eyes.  

“Like that!” I giggled, and Noah tugged on my arms, pulling them so they were wrapped around his body as he buried me in his chest.

I sunk into his arms in alleviation as we swayed in the kitchen to the beat of our hearts.

Part of me wanted to pull away, tempted to see if he would bring me back. The other part of me wanted to berate him for his attitude. Part of me wanted him to take me against the kitchen table. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment together.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant,” Noah whispered now, his voice vibrating from his chest as my cheek was pressed against his soft cotton t-shirt. I nodded against him in response, squeezing his torso as I closed my eyes, my mind beginning to overthink everything that’s happened between us.

I finally sucked in a breath, hesitant to ask, “Did I do something wrong?”

Noah immediately pulled me from his chest to look me in the eyes with a sullen expression, his hands cupping either side of my face, “You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re perfect.”

My eyes began to glaze over as my mind eased a little, and I chuckled softly, “Definitely not perfect.”

“Definitely are,” He whispered, hesitating once more before his broken eyes began analyzing my own. He made me feel like I had no reason to think he was lying. He made me feel perfect.

Noah watched me carefully before his eyes closed briefly. He sucked in a breath, hesitating, “I- I think there’s something wrong with me. I’m so lost right now.”

“I hope you know you can talk to me,” I matched his tone, my head tilting in empathy as we stood in the kitchen, holding each other. My fingers gripped onto the fabric of his shirt as I pulled him into another hug, embracing all his insecurities.

“I know,” He sighed, before masking his sorrows with a smile.

“Please come out with me,” He pulled away and pleaded again, the pad of his thumb beginning to graze across my cheekbone before tracing the outline of my lips, “I want to spend time with you. I want to hear your story.”

I smiled at his words, my breath catching in my throat as we watched each other, completely mesmerized as my eyes travelled across the outline of his ochre eyes. The slight stubble outlined his perfect lips that wrapped around the whites of his teeth as he smiled charmingly, and it left my palms sweating.

“You know plenty about me now,” He said gently, concentrated eyes devouring me, “So who are you?”

Subconsciously I began leaning in closer to his touch, our lips inches apart, “Why are you so convincing?” I whispered, the warmth of Noah’s breath cascading along my face.

“Ahem.”

I turned immediately at the cough, and Noah pulled away from me, staring back at the ground. I looked between him and Ruffilo, who stood leaning against the wall, watching Noah with analytical eyes.

“Hi, ruffles!” I then smiled warmly, confused at his interruption but happy to see him. He acknowledged me briefly, nodding in my direction before glaring daggers towards the brunette.

“A date?” Nicholas's eyebrows furrowed as he crossed his arms and spoke with a tone of accusation.

Noah gave him a sharp look and I glanced between the two of them, trying to make sense of their tense exchange.

Noah turned away from us, shaking his head. “It's none of your business.”

“It is my business now.” Nicholas stood up, positioning himself next to me in a protective manner.

I furrowed my brow and took a step back from Ruffilo. “Can someone please explain what's going on?”

A cynical smirk appeared on Ruffilo's face as he let out a quick laugh, scoffing at the brunette in front of him. “You didn't ask her where you really wanted to take her out, did you?”

Noah ran a hand over his face. “I was getting there.”

I looked between them again before turning my head towards Noah. “Where were you planning to take me?”

Noah licked his lips thoughtfully before turning to me. “I need your help.”

Chapter 8

Tags:@crimson-calligraphyx @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken

@princessmarshmallowx @laurpartyprogram @cookiesupplier @nojoyontheburn @lacktoesandtoddlerant

@veronicaphoenix @er3nslovergirl @cncohshit @scrumptiousfestivalpost @melcchs

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@anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @amelia-acero @rumoured-whispers @artificialbreezy

[thisbarbiereallylikesbirds]

Aly do u prefer yoshi + splinter being the same character or separate? could u rank the yoshis/splinters from your least favorite to most favorite? thank u!

Good question!!

Personally, I prefer it when they're the same character, it's just more interesting in my opinion. Now, that's not to say that Splinters that start out as a rat can't have cool backstories (I actually really like 03 Splinter's), but I always find myself more intrigued if they used to be human. It really allows the writers to dig into what it would be like for someone to suddenly not be human anymore. Plus the idea of a guy getting turned into a rat and then turning around and being like "I guess the only course of action is to raise four turtles in the sewers" is really funny to me. It definitely takes a specific person for that to be their first course of action.

And, of course, if he was human first that means he probably had a close relationship with Tang Shen. I wrote an entire essay on why she's such an interesting character to me so I won't get into that here, but getting to hear about her from a primary (and often biased) source is really fun. I love characters that haunt the narrative.

Now I've only ever seen Rise, 03, and MM/Tales in full. I've seen a few episodes of 2012 but 87, the comics, and all other iterations aren't gonna be included since I don't know enough about them.

Rise Splinter. What can I say. I made the Nameless Trio just to put this idiot and his friends in situations and watch how they react. His past with the Hamato Clan, the whole Lou Jitsu era, and the Battle Nexus era are all super interesting to me, plus I love reading and writing little fics where this man who had no intention of ever even interacting with a child suddenly has to raise four of them. While he's not always the best father (or the best person if we're being so real) it's clear that he loves his kids.

03 Splinter. This guy is just...the sweetest I can't even. In my opinion he's the best dad out of all the Splinters (at least the ones I've seen). I mean he literally used to be a rat, and yet is a good father even by human standards (it's my personal head canon that he had a rat family before at some point so he does have practice raising kids, but still). I love how Yoshi would just bring him literally everywhere, I love how much he cares. He's just great.

2012 Splinter. Now I know some people really hate this guy, and like I said early I haven't seen the whole series. However. This man has a cheese phone and runs on a wheel. He committed to the bit and I have to respect that. Plus, his whole backstory with Karai and Shen is super interesting to me. And in my opinion Splinter and Shredder being brothers is an elite choice. The obvious favoritism of his children isn't great, but I can appreciate a complex character.

Mutant Mayhem/Tales Splinter. I'm gonna be so honest I don't know if we've really seen enough of this guy for me to have a super concrete opinion on him. In my review of TOTTMNT I did talk about how annoying it was to have him just speak vermin, and I do still stand by that. That being said, I don't hate him. It's obvious that he cares about his kids and wants the best for him. I've seen some theories that maybe he was lying about his past and used to be Hamato Yoshi. Personally I don't buy it, but due to my personal preferences I do kinda hope that's the case lol.

This ended up being a lot longer than i thought it would be!! I hope you enjoyed me rambling about the old rat man.

Thanks for the ask!!

[eccentric-nucleus]

i'm gonna be talking about the weird porn game stuff i'm working on now, so you know, watch out

so as you may have gathered from my various posts, i've been working on the hell game 2 engine. currently i have events running mostly-correctly from data files, but i don't currently have state & pc data hooked up correctly so i can't actually e.g., test out various different sex scene variations based on the pc's bodytype. given one of the big failures of hell game (the first) was that i never really got complex event interactions working, i should probably think up some multi-stage demo events and get them working early on, so i don't end up repeating the same mistake

anyway as i have been putting this together i've been reflecting on the stuff i was dissatisfied with with hell game. unfortunately for me one of those things was "the sex scenes weren't as parametric as i wanted". hell game tended to break sex scenes down based on fundamental body plan (what i usually call 'bodytype' b/c that's the variable name for it in the code). that was stuff like: biped, centaur, quadruped, naga, snake, and 'other'. that's already a lot of totally-different variations but given i also let people change size there did kind of also need to be at least some size-based changes. but that's even more stuff to write for a single sex scene to have full coverage.

(this kinda thing is why i love to bring up the whole thing about nagas having a thigh gap in TiTS. they didn't want to change the scene blocking for all the doggystyle sex scenes! you can just say "between your thighs" either way!! i mean i get it, just, lol.)

but the other thing with hell game is that it was always uhhh a very early demo. it was basically a collection of contextless sex scenes with demons, and while there are worse things for a game to be, i did kinda have aspirations of, you know, plot, story, named characters that weren't just procgen demons, etc. so one of the things i've been working on currently is a ~design doc~ that covers setting & story details in a concrete enough way that i can reference off it and not end up writing myself into a corner.

and that gets us to the weird porn part of the post. i haven't fully committed to the current setting concept (scifi space station sucked through an interdimensional portal so it's now orbiting around hell, a la your dooms and hellpoints and the like; i feel like i'm maybe being a little too derivative here) so i won't go into too much detail but on the whole there is probably gonna be a more pronounced, you know, horror/grotesque influence. we'll... see how that works given that it is also a porn game

like yeah yeah plenty of porn games are kind of libidinal nightmare realms. coc had the parasitic dick worms. people love gross sex stuff. i feel like i kinda lost touch with a lot of my audience and now i spend more time around, uh, normal people who don't have deeply-rooted fixations. currently the first encounter i have outlined for this is uhhh a reanimated zombie who... lemme just paste the description in

A thing that was once a dead body, overtaken by something new. Its skin is a faded grey and its muscles are overgrown, proportions inhuman: shoulders impossibly wide, arms and legs slabs of striated muscle. It moves with an inhuman gait, as if the thing inhabiting it is still getting adjusted to human articulation.

There's a squirming thing wrapped around its head, all leathery purple-black flesh. A central mass covers the corpse's head: face smooth, back of the head a mess of overlapping tentacles. It has many long octopus-like tentacles that fan out across its shoulders and back. The tentacles trail down its body, clamped tight to the skin, before they sink into its body across its shoulders, chest, and back, squirming under the skin like gigantic veins. The skin around the punctures is painted with purple-black bruises. Glowing green ichor pulses through its body, pumped into it from its penetrating tentacles, feeding its muscles with unnatural energy. Its skin is a faded grey, streaked with ash, save for where its glowing-green blood flows, forming branching lines of bulging veins that cover its shoulders and chest.

A single loose tentacle extends from its face like an enormous proboscis, tapering in wormlike rings to a squirming tip, slavering shed ichor in gummy lines down its bare chest.

Its cock hangs heavily between its thighs, perpetually bloated and half-hard, with its glowing green ichor visibly pumping through its altered flesh. Its massive, oversized balls churn and lurch behind the fat stalk of its dick, pulsing with burgeoning larvae. Thick, translucent grey pre perpetually spills from its bloated glowing-green cocktip, painting wet smears of fluid down its monstrously-muscular legs.

it talks to you and asks if you wanna get pumped full of squirming zombie larvae so it can reproduce and reanimate more corpses. a lot of the encounter design is very much "what if you could fuck this DOOM monster"

anyway, that's like, normal. that's completely usual actually. having a cop fetish is what's weird and disturbing. okay okay that's just dumb glib moralizing i don't actually think that. but i mean, it is super weird to write stuff like that and then go back into the normal realm where people keep talking about college jocks or w/e.

but before i do much more writing i gotta hammer out the rest of the engine. next up: a lot of variable storage & thinking about how to separate npc data from the events they take part in. that's all stuff that needs to get coded regardless of which setting i go with

[misc-obeyme]

Corpse Party is a lot of things. (Apologies for the ramble in advance)

A game (the best is Blood Covered, no argument can win there. Book of Shadows is decent and Blood Drive everyone despises it. We dont talk about 2U. We also have Rebuilt which is a remake of the og since we cannot experience the og due to how old it is. I cant wait for the new game thats coming tho)

A manga (which some has the purpose of source material for both 2U and Blood Drive, but some manga adaptations are, uh... not good. Do not look up Musume. Just- for your sanity, do not.)

An anime (most people's introductions to Corpse Party and the only way to consume it without getting too much into the franchise. It doesnt touch too much of the game's long lore.)

Two live actions (Cant say much because I havent watched it, but heard its not good as it takes the anime as source instead of the game and has less time. For context, the anime takes a 10 hour game and makes it into a 2 hour ova while the first live action uses an hour and a half. Dont know much about the second one.)

Also, for more context, there's more than one ghost children (main villain called Sachiko) trying to kill you. If you look at them in the eye in the games, you get wrong ends, which are like the equivalents of game over. Unless they're calmed down/appeased by bringing something they lost (spoilers, their tongues), you can interact with them normally.

But while enraged, they uh... kinda... dragged one of the protags at really fast speed. And she uh. Crashed into a wall. And became a mushy pile of a lot of organs. You actually see the pile in the first chapter, but dont know who it was until the second chapter. That's how violent they are. So yeah, uh. Do not recommend Belphie using corpses to sleep.

alsdflkasdfkj OH WOW.

Here I thought we were dealing with malevolent ghosts and not-living corpses lol. I was kinda imagining the corpses like the ones in Bloodborne where they're all like ragdoll mechanics or whatever and just sorta flop around. I just think Belphie would be like ah something soft okay good night.

But yeah if we're dealing with sentient corpses that can slam you into walls so hard you become mush, then someone had better keep Belphie away!

Oh man, I had no idea there was so much content! I can't decide if I'm fascinated by how unhinged it sounds or kind of wary... maybe a bit of both?

I usually like horror/ghost type stuff when it comes to video games and anime, but not so much live action situations. It's like it's too real or something and then I get all freaked out about it. Me and scary movies are generally not a good combo. I cannot begin to tell you how bad The Sixth Sense messed me up lol.

I might have to check out the anime, though. It certainly sounds interesting! And then I can check it out without committing myself to the games of which there seems to be multiple.

Thank you for the thorough explanation! My curiosity is piqued!

[fff777]

reaction to wayv's who's the criminal episode: case of the missing director. spoilers for the case are below the cut.

i used to watch the cvariety show who's the murderer, based on the kvariety show crime scene. i stopped watching who's the murderer because the episodes got too long, but this wayv video is only an hour (which is in line with the original who's the murderer episodes) so i think the pacing will be ok!

the last time we had a crime show game with nct was nct crime zone...i wish they'd bring the series back, it's so much fun. but i know it probably takes a lot of time to set up since they need a writer to plan the story and clues and then they have to actually make the clues and hide them for the players.

ngl i wish winwin was here because i think this is gonna be fun, but i can have fun with the other five members too!

aww kun is the detective! cutie X3

character names: ten: 李編舞 (choreographer lee) xiaojun: 蕭舞美 (stage designerxiao) hendery: 黃燈光 (lights manager huang/yellow light) yangyang: 劉輔導 (assistant director liu)

hendery: i am so busy, i have so many lights to manage, yellow lights, red lights, green lights kun: do you fix street lights? is that your job? hmm??? that got a chuckle out of hendery and yangyang X3

making fun of a little guy's pronunciation slip up 😅

oh we're going multilingual here lol, ten is speaking in korean

hendery just has to introduce himself and the other two triplets are already cracking up

hendery: i was eating by myself kun: can anyone prove it? hendery: what was i supposed to do, film a vlog? everyone: ....yeah maybe

i love that they all have little notebooks, it does really remind me of who's the murderer. also i love having a notebook and writing notes in it, really makes me feel like a real detective 🕵️‍♀️

xiaojun: why would i have called the police if i committed a crime? yangyang: have you watched detective conan? hendery: 此地無銀三百兩 the translation is...a little weird? what hendery said is from a story. it's about a person got a lot of money and they decided to hide it in the ground but they didn't want other people to steal it so they put a sign there saying "there isn't 300 taels here." which obviously means that there is 300 taels there. so the moral of the story is that some people try to deny doing something but end up admitting to it. anyway, that got a laugh out of kun >3

yangyang: but dejun... hendery: who the heck is dejun yangyang: uh....wumei it's a thing in who's the murderer where characters' jobs are often just their proper names lol

so yeah no one has an alibi lol. they were all just on their own when director jin disappeared.

woohoo! clues time

lol hendery used to be a professional boxer

ten: everyone other than me is suspicious honestly...the right way to play this game

xiaojun: 平常也動手比較多...*snicker* these guys can't even talk about hendery without laughing. dejun was just saying how hendery's character is like, kind of combative and fighty physically speaking.

ten: *looking on the computer* ten: ...i'm gonna look at your recycling bin 😏

ten thinks yangyang and director jin are secretly dating lmfao

i think this is a digital camera and not an instant polaroid camera

tons of DRUGS in ten's desk. so the line of thinking is that he could possibly have drugged director jin.

everyone trying to get into ten's diary for juicy details

dejun just trying to break into the diary with force

??? he just knows how to break into this kind of lock? i guess he's feeling when the lock gives way when the number is right

ok nvm hendery couldn't open it lol

the shinsigae bags in director jin's office. product placement lol.

hendery putting up his evidence but not remember whose rooms he found them in 😭 so much for saying that his words and memory are the best evidence

so director jin was embezzling moneyyyy

LMAO an apology to the folks who shipped director jin with yangyang but they were not in a romantic relationship

also yangyang being like "ten is really just saying anything" 😂

ten danced until he had a nosebleed? 😭

in depth clues session

remove the dejun

now onto discussion session again

so dejun did drug dejun but he insists he didn't kidnap him

dejun got voted the culprit

why...does he handcuff him like that

the reveal was super anticlimactic because they were just told and there was no drama lol

but the culprit was yangyang

another man to handcuff

LOL brought back the mannequin that was director jin

guys: what's director jin's name? guys: kim...? yangyang: kim midat

lol it was fun! i hope there are more crime scene shows in the future. in this case it's a promo for their concert tour :P

[areyoudoingthis]

Saying this fully as a lover of s2 and ride or die fan

It would have been a cool option to open s3 with the lucius/pete matelotage. Maybe it would have lessened the whiplash after Izzy's death. Provide a reason for Stede and Ed to reunite with the crew in s3 (not that there's any shortage of possibilities there). Something to bring full circle at the end of s3 if they do an Ed/Stede matelotage. I do totally get why they put it in s2 especially not knowing if there will be a s3. This is probably just my brain not letting go of thinking we'd see a Lucius/Pete wedding bash lol.

I'm being 100% serious here, I don't think there's anything they could have done to make the reactions any less feral than they were. Even if they'd had the whole 10 episodes they needed, even if Lucius and Pete's wedding had happened on a completely separate episode from Izzy's death and funeral instead of like two minutes later, even if they'd gotten married five episodes earlier, the Izzy stans would still be raging about it as much as they are. They don't care about actual reasons, they're just grasping at any straw they can find to bitch about their blorbo's death because they were watching a whole other show where he was for racist reasons a main character and his death is an unforgivable crime against humanity and queer people everywhere (you have my empathy if you're a sane fan and you're sad about your blorbo's death without harassing anyone about it, I've shed a tear or two for Izzy myself.)

I think it was tonally perfect to close the season on a wedding, showing everyone moving on from the loss of their friend and all the hardships they all (including and especially Lucius) went through during it. It's the promise that no matter how bleak things get, how much you suffer or how much you lose, there's always something good to hold onto, something brighter in your future (the way Ed looks at Stede during the ceremony tells us clearly he's decided to marry Stede at some point, which is such a lovely thing to include there given where he was like two episodes ago. He knows he's loved and capable of love now and he's allowing himself to dream of a future with Stede and I, for one, am still dying about it.)

Everyone deserved a sweet, quiet sendoff after being put through the wringer this season, and I think the wedding followed by Ed and Stede deciding to retire and stay behind watching the crew sail off into the sunset together while they reaffirm their commitment to each other was absolutely perfect.

You cannot write a tv show around the fandom's expectations and potential reactions. Ofmd is incredibly kind in the way they take into account how much the queer community has suffered and try to be mindful of that in their writing (David has said this influenced their decision to end the season on a hopeful note in case we don't get s3, even though Ed and Stede still have a ways to go to get to a place where they can finally settle down together in a truly stable way.) But they are still writing a tv show, creating a story they want to tell in the way they want to tell it, and it's not fair to ask them to take into consideration that there's a whole subsection of the fandom that has been refusing to see the show for what it really is for a year and a half and harassing everyone else about it, or predict how they were going to react to the very necessary and well executed narrative beat of Izzy's death, or, god forbid, change the story to prevent their temper tantrum.

I'd have loved to see more of Lucius and Pete's wedding, finally get to see Ed and Stede dance, maybe, discuss retirement. I firmly blame HBO for slashing their fucking budget for s2 tho, I'm sure they would have loved to write us a lovely wedding party if they'd been given the chance. We did get Calypso's birthday, so I can't really complain. And I have absolute faith we're gonna get to see Ed and Stede's wedding in s3, and hopefully then they'll finally be allowed to dance.

[the-firebird69]

It's not coming from their upper Midwest area but there's a good exercise to get in there and salvage things and it's a good exercise to start in the city and test it. So we're going to approve it

So we're going to approve it

Olympus

I can see you're helping and I have you do it and it works and this is the way to do it I like it. It's not a bad idea we have other places in BG says Arizona and that's good it's kind of not Texas area there's a little bit but not that much but you probably get some parts from Mexico and then a lot more and some of them come from China and there was supplying tons 'cause they send tons to Mexico so that's a good idea it's a good spot and he says it'll probably start up pretty soon and good I'd like to assign some people to it of ours to help out he says good and really it's kind of odd and he wants to say

Hera

This is some real gay **** what we're doing it is gay **** they wanna start the company it's his brother stuff we associate them with his people we'd have the bikes they'd be helping if not making them just south of the wall that they're gonna hide behind and do stuff from behind and I can't believe how **** lame we are in myself too. That is **** horrible i'm gonna be going around picking up scrap to make robots because my robots are so good I mean really we all have to admit we're not doing that great. BJA already does and he's bigger but he's sucking win too and why not let BG do it it'd be where we are kind of two and will start doing it and he can help us with the engineering and making it work. I don't have time for this god awful attitude of not doing anything because we don't have to and just building weapons we're not going to have weapons facilities people are saying it too we have no reason to be. Only a life is so low our people are committing suicide now at a very high rate and they're messing things up that's why they're doing it I have a moment of brilliance what do you want from me no it's because you're saying it this is our idea herra and I she expounded on mine made it better 'cause I couldn't get Bob to make a cruiser. And made a bike that everybody can use and it's a rebel bike now I'm saying This is serious and that's what caught my attention. Start fighting those parts and bring them out and use food and necessities and just watch it on and latch it on and drive off and people won't bother it 'cause they don't know what it is no it's just motorcycle stuff and it's trouble. He got in a lot of trouble do he had two and we need to get in a little trouble now.

trump

It's my idea too and it's greatness but really this is this guy's stuff and he's saying go ahead and make it and we're trying to help you make it and we're going to try and attack them I'll tell you what I can't stand us anymore what they're really saying is we want you to make it and what we say is we're **** **** and we don't want to we're afraid of the max and we're afraid of you but really if you say it that way something else happens in your head.

terry c

We'd like to see this go forwards we don't really want to and we're opposing it.

mac daddy but we are wrong as usual and the money issue hahaha you turds look so dumb held the money for the empire wait until they want you to lol

no no we wont at all

daneil

even better we are the enemey and now too nope we suck

trump

we do lots

bja

ahahah yup

Zues Hera

and send commando snot bike parts this blows

bja

Olympus And they're sitting grinning and thinking they're clever and yeah we're coming out there and nothing happens to us because we're just killing all of you.

I'm gonna get this idea going we don't do anything that helps us and it's easy for us it might be easy it might be impossible but who cares what we're doing now it doesn't work. I'm gonna get the parts from my area and you'd like it up with a grocery store thing everybody checks the whole thing I gotta tell you something do you watch it like a hawk and they want the motorcycle parked out the max don't and the pseudo empire don't and that's what we're gonna be up against and it's a big operation.

trump

Taking us a while to say it so let's get to it.

teerry c we see bg does and succeeds wewll mb

Olympus

[goodmorningbatterycity]

🎶 Hey so since so many of yall are droppin tracks on here, I'd like to introduce myself as BLASTA BITCH, badass of the Zones, I'd like to see any of yall tryna handle me, oh yeah and I'm finna sneak in a lil diss to a certain joy called 'rosie red,' me and her have some history and she knows bout it, don't fuck w me unless you want the same treatment and that goes for yall too Morales 😘😘

Yeah, yeah, yeah LET'S GO!!!! Fuck all the dracs, I'm BLASTA BITCH Kick all the ass, I'm BLASTA BITCH Bring on the sass, I'm BLASTA BITCH Fuck up the grass, I'm BLASTA BITCH Yall can't handle this Yall wanna play me Yall wanna fuck with me Yall wanna fuck me But I'm here to tell yall That yall aint shit I'm BLASTA BITCH And I'm committed to the bit Oh yeah but it's not a bit I'm serious as shit And if you dont believe me Then watch it get lit *beat gets more intense* Yeah FUCK ROSIE RED FUCK THAT WHOLE CREW I'M MARRIED TO PARTY POISON AND I BANGED FUN GHOUL I'M THE MOST BADASS JOY IN THE WHOLE ZONES AND THAT GOES FOR THE WORLD EVEN IF YOU LIVE ON THE NORTH POLE I'VE KILLED 10,000 DRACS 10,000 MORE ON THE WAY AND IF YOU THINK I'LL STOP THERE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE GAY YOU WANNA PLAY ME? YOU WANNA FUCK WITH BLASTA BITCH? YOU BETTER NOT BE ROSIE 'CUZ IMMA FUCK UP THAT LITTLE SNITCH *beat solo for 30 seconds* Aight back to the verse I'm the baddest alive I'm finna kill Korse And he won't survive I'll take out BLI, Director, SCARECROWS too Gary Levko watch out, I'm comin for you My aim is the sharpest Kobra taught me how to kick D let me take over his station And Jet said I'm sick Yeah, sick in the head because I'm so fucking twisted BLI better make their phone numbers unlisted You wanna fuck with me? Make sure you're prepared To meet your god when I shoot your ass in the AIR!!!!!!!! *beat solo for 60 seconds, sound of mic dropping, I walk off the stage*

Yeah see if yall can beat that babes, oh yeah rosie red if yall want to say sumn just reply in this little chat box here, you can take me on but we all know I'll win, even Morales would probably agree, anyway that's it babes, hope you enjoyed your introduction to Poison's girl and the baddest bitch on the planet 😘😘💋👄

This is becoming ridiculous lol

[kelmonstah]

Not exactly the same, but because of my anxiety I used to walk in (or ambulance) to Emergency every so often convinced This Time I'm Dying. Eventually I'd build up the tools and what not to understand my panic more. One of the tools I had for that was a smart watch with heart rate monitoring.

Now, I know those things can't actually detect a heart attack, but checking it would bring me down long enough to check in with myself and go "nope, still not a heart attack" and I'd be fine.

The watch wasn't always charged though (yay ADHD, lol) so sometimes I'd do it with just two fingers on the inner wrist spot.

Anyway, point is, my first tattoo (if I can ever commit to it) is going to be like... An image of two of those "place finger here" type symbols you'd see on a biometric reader (the generic finger print) close together with a dashed line down to some fixed-width text that says something like "place fingers here for diagnostics" right where you check for a pulse as a reminder that I know my panic more than it controls me.

You know those sheets where you have to mark on the drawing of a body where your symptoms are? Yeah I've decided that I desperately want to do that but as tattoos all over my body.

Maybe tiny daggers can be where I get my stabbing pains, barbed wire for my nerve pain... I'll have to think on it. I bet it would look so cool!!

[michael-aftons-nonbinary-lover]

Metal Guardians

-(William Afton/Springtrap x Caroline Afton/Mrs. Afton/Ballora, teen!reader)-

-(Summary: Your adoptive animatronic parents go to town on some assholes for you<3)-

-(CW: mentions of past @b4$3, panic attack(s)/nightmare, implied murder)-

-(For funsies, lol. Also, Ballora is possessed by my version of Mrs. Afton, Caroline. Also also, lol, for some reason they have a house and can provide for a child???? please do not read into this, I am just writing for myself bc comfort fiction parents)-

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You snapped awake quickly in your warm bed, duvets covering you from shoulder to toe. Your breathing was heavy and sweat dripped from your forehead.

Fuck, why did you have to have another dream about them? You hadn't seen them since you had run away two years ago. Not even three weeks after that, you had been taken in by two sentient animatronics- one more gross than the other- who you had been with ever since.

They weren't in your life anymore. They couldn't hurt you. Springtrap had promised you that. He promised to protect you, even from the very moment you had come home.

Ballora had promised it too, even if she never outright verbally said it. She had her ways of making her thoughts about 'them' known.

So why did they still bother you? They couldn't hurt you even if they wanted to, they would have to go through two extremely pissed off animatronics, one of which had committed multiple murders already, and was not afraid to do it again.

You pulled your knees to your chest, tears burning in the back of your eyes, and the air burning in your lungs. In your dream, you had been running away. You needed to run, it was the only way to stop from being hurt. You had to-

Your door opened suddenly, a tall, dark shadow looming in the doorframe. Your head snapped up at the sound, a small smile quickly appearing on your face when you realized who it was.

"Hey, Sweet Pea, what's all the heavy breathing about? I swear, I could hear you downstairs. You training for a marathon or something?"

Holding back a loud sob, you held your arms out towards your pseudo father. He walked towards you, sitting on your bed gently. You all but jumped into his lap, scrabbling to find purchase in a hug. He wrapped his cold, metallic arms around you softly, careful not to hurt you.

"Another nightmare?"

You nodded vigorously, still slightly trembling from the whole ordeal.

"It's alright, Little One. They can't hurt you anymore. They'll never hurt you again, I'll make sure of it."

"But what if they do?! What if they find out where we are and make me go back? I don't wanna go back!"

"Hey, hey, hey, hush now, Sweet Pea. It's all ok. Look at me?"

You slowly raised your head, eyes clouded with tears that were waiting to fall.

"You're gonna be ok. I won't let them get you, and neither will your mother. Do you want me to go get her?"

You contemplated for a minute, then nodded, opting to remain silent.

"Alrighty. You sit tight, ok? I'll be right back!"

You sighed quietly, shifting under your covers and laying back down. They both came into your room soon after, comfortably situating you in between them for cuddles.

Ballora stroked your back in a gentle manner, careful not to upset you even more. Springtrap gently rubbed his chin against your head, a habit of his that was the equivalent of a real rabbit scenting something. Claiming what was theirs. He did that often, especially towards you, stating that your biological parents would never lay eyes on you again if they knew of the being watching over you now.

You sniffled quietly, cuddling further into Springtrap's chest, pulling on Ballora's arm to bring her closer as well. She obliged, curling her her delicate arms around you and pulling your head towards her chest. Her comforting rubs moved from your back to your head, careful not to get in the way of Springtrap's "scenting". He was very possessive of things that were his, especially you and Ballora.

You fell into a dreamless sleep quickly, fears of your old parents slowly slipping away. Your metal parents tucked you back into bed and quietly left your room, letting you get the rest you deserve.

Once back downstairs, your father turned towards your mother.

"Linnie, can we please just- get rid of these assholes already?"

She sighed. She knew this would happen eventually.

"No, William, we cannot. I thought we were working on the whole murder thing? You know, what tore our family apart in the first place? Besides, how would we even find them?"

Springtrap smirked as best his rotting animatronic body could.

"I'm so glad you asked, my dearest."

He ran to the garage, coming back a moment later with a corkboard. Ballora rubbed her temples.

"As you can see here, and don't ask me how I did it, I already found all of their possibly addresses and hiding places. We could find them easily, my love. Then our little darling would never have to worry about them again."

Ballora stood there for a moment, a small glint of annoyance covering her features. Of course, she hated the idea of murdering people, even though she had already done it. You just didn't know about that. You knew about Springtrap's dastardly deeds, not hers. What she hated more, though, was seeing a child she considered to be hers in pain.

"Fine. Let's go, but we need to be quick, just in case they have another nightmare."

"YES! Thank you, lovely. I'll never bring up my dissatisfaction with your old pictures again!"

She knew that was a lie, but she let it pass. At least she finally had some semblance of family back.

They headed for the front door, as if avenging taken in children were a nightly occurrence.

----------------------------------------------------------

You woke in the morning, thoroughly rested and feeling much better than the night before. You headed downstairs and said good morning to your parents.

Springtrap ruffled your hair and you smelled a faint metallic scent. You brushed it off as him just smelling that way, he was a robot, after all.

You turned on the tv after grabbing a bowl of cereal, flipping through channels until a news channel caught your eye.

The news anchor began to report a story about a murdered couple. The pictures showed the couple to be your bio parents.

You sat in shock for a moment, cereal forgotten. You turned towards the animatronics in your living room, one hiding an amused smile while watching the tv, the paying the glowing box no mind.

"What did you guys do?"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

(Thanks for reading, this was just a dumb little thing I came up with while sleep deprived, bc comfort parents for some reason, lmfao)

(Fun rabbit fact! They have scent glands on the bottom of their chins that they use to claim/mark territory. Headcanon that Springtrap and Bonnie constantly re-scent each other's stuff and have major problems with each other because of it.)

[sailoreuterpe]

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

How many works do you have on ao3? I have 200 works on ao3.

What's your total word count? My word count is 304,434.

What fandoms do you write for? Bob's Burgers, Pacific Rim, Sailor Moon, and Twilight are my major fandoms. I do occasionally write for others but I haven't yet found another fandom that's grabbed my attention for more than one or two stories.

Top 5 fics by kudos: My top five stories by kudos count are, in order: Teddy in Bob's Heady (227), Eye to Eye (184), Secret Brother Confrontation: Not Clickbait! (175), An Occasion(al Competent Adult) (152), and Gloria in Excess is Hell No (118). I'm disappointed that none of my Sailor Moon stories made the cut. However, I'm pleased that "Teddy" is first, especially as BLT Burgers is an obscure ship that nearly no one but me writes.

Do you respond to comments? It may take me a few weeks but I try to reply to every single comment eventually. If someone was kind enough to comment in the first place, I feel obligated to respond in kind. As well, I can explain and gush in the comments.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My story with the angstiest ending is likely He Isn't You and that Cuts Me Through. I killed off Linda, for Pete's sake! T_T

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? It depends on how you define "happiest" but Truck Be Evade-y Tonight ends with a flashforward where BLT Burgers are grandparents surrounded by family and friends, still deeply in love years later.

Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten multiple negative comments regarding Teddy being "abusive" on my BLT Burgers stories. I also got one anti comment regarding louigan but that was on Tumblr.

Do you write smut? My one completed foray into smut will likely never see the light of day. A friend was even nice enough to beta the story but I've grown more uncomfortable with sex over the years. I can't bring myself to reread the story, let alone read the comments/critiques and then edit. For what it's worth, it's a smut story set in the Athene Noctura universe created by @pickle-plum which is a Pacific Rim Wing!Fic AU.

Do you write crossovers? I've considered writing crossovers before but the energy needed to stay genuine and true to two universes simultaneously puts me off the idea. I love crossovers now; I'm just not skilled to write any of my own at this time.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I'm not that popular, lol.

Have you ever had a fic translated? I've never had a story translated, although I would be thrilled if that ever happened.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, I don't have the temperment for collaborative writing. I'm either too generous (and thus errors go unmarked) or too critical (and thus feelings get hurt). I already struggle writing alone; writing with someone else would just be a stressful disaster, I tend to think.

What's your all-time favorite ship? My oldest ship (my love is over thirty years old) is Jo/Fritz from Little Women, so I suppose that you could quantify that one as my favorite. My most recent favorite is BLT Burgers (Bob/Linda/Teddy from Bob's Burgers). Usamamo (from Sailor Moon) and newmann (from Pacific Rim) equally brought me into fandom, so they count as well.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? Of my unfinished stories on ao3, only Time Enough to Learn is an actual story. I fully intend to finish both that and A Commit-y of Marriers, but ACoM is my top priority at the moment. Plus, I haven't watched the relevant episode of The Twilight Zone in years. I'd want to rewatch the episode before I continue.

What are your writing strengths? My writing strengths are comfort, fluff, poetry, and research.

What are your writing weaknesses? My writing weaknesses are character, dialogue, endings, and growth.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I don't think that I'll ever attempt to write dialogue in another language due to anxiety. If I ever do, I'll ask/hire a sensitivity reader to assist me.

First fandom you wrote for? The first fandom that I ever wrote for officially is Sailor Moon. However, I imagined scenarios for Little House on the Prairie and Little Women as a child.

Favorite fic you've ever written? Currently my favorite story is ACoM, due to the genuine joy that I'm experiencing writing it. <3

I tag anyone who wants to do this because I'm always afraid of excluding someone. it's a fund exercise, although it took me two hours to finish. I have anxiety, obviously.

20 Questions for Fic Writers Tag Game

How many works do you have on ao3? 39

What's your total word count? 244,555

What fandoms do you write for? Bob's Burgers

Top 5 fics by kudos: Ketchup & Fries (but said to the tune of Shut Up and Drive), Already Medjool Dating, Maybe in Thyme, The Baby-Bitters Club, and Turn Down Corn-Nut

Do you respond to comments? If I don't respond to a comment within a week, you can assume I'm dead. I'm extrinsically motivated, and if I like comments then I need to respect and appreciate my readers by telling them that

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? It's My Party (and I'll fry if I want to) it’s the angstiest fic all around, but the ending is more so unresolved-ish, like the reader can decide what Louise does

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Just a Coup-ful of Sugar, and I’m hoping fluffy equates to happy. Closely followed by but it’s (yukon) golden!

Do you get hate on fics? Yes

Do you write smut? Yes 😏

Do you write crossovers? They’re not for me

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of?

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nah, but that would be neat!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, and I probably wouldn’t be able to handle giving someone else the reins 😔

What's your all-time favorite ship? 🥰🥰🥰 louigan 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? Drunken Sailor (what will brie do with)

What are your writing strengths? Natural sounding dialogue, titles, and writing comedy

What are your writing weaknesses? Scene setting, describing what people are wearing, sentence structure variation, sincerity, and whump fic

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? Be respectful and consult a native speaker of that language

First fandom you wrote for? Total Drama Island

Favorite fic you've ever written? Today? It's Stacy's Cardamom!

Nobody tagged me, but it looked like fun 😭 plus it’s a good reminder to go back and see what all you HAVE done instead of dwelling on the hypothetical fics you haven’t.

Tagging writers I can think of who I haven’t seen make a 20 questions post (sorry if you’ve already been tagged and also of course feel free to ignore and also also sorry I probably missed someone!): @sailoreuterpe @bimbobarbieusa @marauder23 @big-wet-rose @jimmyjrsmusoems @jimmypesto @jc7005 @cosmicriff @casually-concerned @tully-blue @waytoomanyhobbies @https-hunter @holdingontolou @keepyourhornson-spyro @theangrypomeranian @avatraang @eroticfriendfictions @ironicsopsychotic @golden--doodler @lovelyxxxsymone @thestarstho @secretsofthemourning @smol-lydia

[mossy-rot]

Long post time! been reading and I'm sure someone has talked about this before but. Does Dazai's characterization unnerve anyone else when put in context of the real Osamu Dazai.

I would like to preface this saying this isn't like, a callout post or saying that "you should stop watching/reading BSD because it's problematic and the author should be cancelled!!!!" so don't get yourself all in a bunch if you don't like the post (I've seen y'all with ships, it gets hella ugly). I myself am going to continue watching BSD despite my feelings in this post just because I enjoy the show- if something was going to get me to stop watching it would've been Naomi or Mori lol but I digress.

I'll need to do some research to see if Sango Harukawa has any specific reasoning, if they do this with the other characters and their reference authors, etc but upon reading No Longer Human and reading in depth about Osamu Dazai's life it's all so.. unsettling, choice-wise. I'm most likely predicting the choice was made due to No Longer Human being the second best selling novel of all time in Japan, which I'm hoping is the case and they just made an uneducated choice in poor taste. Again, I'll need to do more research.

I'll be brief but if you want a very in depth explanation about the book and author you can find that here (although I recommend the video if you can handle the topics anyway, it's a great essay). However I cannot stress enough that this needs a massive TW for many things- and that includes this post. If you know anything about No Longer Human, you know that it is extremely haunting and dark. I do not use that lightly. so if you can't deal with mentions of things like: suicide and/or suicidal thoughts, violence against women, child abuse, sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, and drug abuse, please skip this post and the video.

But in brief, the story, which is a partial autobiography about Osamu, it follows someone with a disturbed point of view- he doesn't feel desires or normal emotions as others do, he has a very different way of viewing the world that most don't get. Because of this, he grows terrified of people as a whole- more specifically, their desires, and what they're willing to do to achieve those desires. This is brought to light particularly early when he is abused- physically, emotionally, and sexually- by his father's servants as a child. Many events occur, including multiple unsuccessful suicide attempts- both alone and double suicides with lovers, all of whom do not survive. He slowly picks up a drinking problem along the way, as well as a drug addiction to morphine. This isn't a very coherent explanation, of course, but it's a gist.

Bringing it back to the real person- many of these things reflected into his own life. And although No Longer Human ended with the main character disappearing into an indifferent life, this was not the case with Osamu Dazai, who, one month later, was found having committed suicide with his mistress, Tomai.

So the choice for Dazai to be very suicidal, attempting often, trying to convince women to do a double suicide with him, and for this to be all played as a joke and inconvenience to the main cast- minus Atsushi- especially with Dazai's implied issue with alcohol (although this can be overlooked)- is... unsettling. Something about choosing such a broken and haunting book, and an equally broken author- it just doesn't sit right with me. I would forgive it if his behavior was more crucial to the main plot, or if it was far less prominent, but it's almost always the end of a joke. This is less of an issue in later seasons which is nice, but for me it always leaves this undeniable sour taste in my mouth whenever I think about it.

I love Dazai, I do, but it's a weird choice when you read the book. I had only watched a few episodes whenever I had picked up Junji Ito's adaptation not knowing that it was so, and was taken back by just how dark it was. I delved further, and it just got worse from there. It was a pretty violent shock when I realized that the anime I just started watching had a character by the same name of the author of this horrifying story. This is more a ramble than anything, and if anyone has anything to add or any more info to clear this up or add context please do! I've only watched BSD and haven't listened to much outside of it. I'd love to see some discussions about this.

[ashilrak]

Perpollo for the playlist <3 Have fun! :D

This was too fun lol, also I'm editing it to add lyrics for funsies

ALL UP IN YOUR MIND - Beyonce

I try to get all up in your mind (all up in your mind) Is my love a crime 'cause I wanna make you mine? (You know you're mine) I try to get all up in your mind (yeah) I'll go and do the time if it means I'll make you mine (yeah)

Habibi - Tamino

If only I'd forget you after one last dance But you're everywhere, yes you are In every melody and in every little scar

We Have It All - Pim Stones

Hearts turn to dirt Along with the rest of your body It's all claimed by the earth It will fade and it will wither But gold, it will never And hey, baby, don't you know Diamonds are forever

Stalker's Tango - Autoheart

It's not that complicated No matter what they say You'll never meet another me

The Wolf - PHILDEL

You were sharp as a knife to get me You were a wolf in the night to fetch me, back The wishes I've made are too vicious to tell Everyone knows I am going to hell

Million Years Ago - Adele

I know I'm not the only one Who regrets the things they've done Sometimes I just feel it's only me Who can't stand the reflection that they see I wish I could live a little more

Achilles Heel - J. Maya

Kill this Achilles' heel I don't want to have to heal Now it's time to bring the choir Play your game and string the lyre Boy, I'm like Prometheus, finally taking back my fire

Moonsea - PHILDEL

Don't share the past, if you won't share your heart All that we share is the view of these stars

That Unwanted Animal - The Amazing Devil

Oh, and you rip my ribcage open and devour what's truly yours And our screaming joins in unison, I cry out to the Lord 'Cause if we join our hands in prayer enough To God, I imagine it all starts to sound like applause

Perseus [New Light EP] - Chris Linton

Mythical, so mystical, think what you like You could be the sword, the shield, Defender of The people down below You know I fought for love

Personal Jesus - Depeche Mode

Reach out, touch faith Your own personal Jesus Someone to hear your prayers Someone who cares

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

But don't ever doubt this, my steadfast conviction My love, you're the one I wanna watch the ship go down with

Killshot - Slowed + Reverb - Magdalena Bay

Can you make my heart stop Hit me with your kill shot baby

Blossoms - The Amazing Devil

Knowing every last one of them is painted in light As I make myself acquainted with the saint of never getting it right

A Kiss - THE DRIVER ERA

Don't give a fuck of what you say Apparently I've lost control To all my friends that told me so Just get out the way Because we don't want to behave Apparently you lost control You never really had before

Eros and Apollo - Studio Killers

Girls, with a boy like that it's serious Senoritas, don't follow him Soon, he will eat your hearts like cereals Sweet Lolitas, don't go You're still young

the fruits - Paris Paloma

My love, are you the devil? I would worship you instead of him I have no time for confession For I'm too busy committing sins My love, you're something special I've never met someone like you You'd make me fall from heaven But I know just what I do

One Way Or Another - Blondie

One way, or another, I'm gonna win ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way, or another, I'm gonna see ya

You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) - Dead or Alive

I set my sights on you (And no one else will do) And I, I've got to have my way now, baby

Something to Believe In - Young the Giant

It gets old when you talk to the sun And your tongue understood uh-no one

// 20 song playlist without including these artists