#i just can't believe he's gone :(

[luckyagain]

.

[magicshop]

his smile could cure the world ♡ [for @morshiberna ♡]

cr. 0613data

[lesbiandanhowell]

happy 5 years of the twitch quartet (as this was filmed last year)

[mortalscience]

[wintersoldier-barnes]

we got pretty urd before the end lol

[purgaytorysupremacy]

oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.

recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)

because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.

and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).

Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.

at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.

something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.

Cas never knew.

Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.

but Cas never knew.

the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.

so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.

this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?

nah.

true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.

[illdothehotvoice]

Mario had two fucking partners die in PMTOK and I know Paper Mario likes to do that a lot but for some reason these ones hit different for me and I feel like no one gives it nearly as much attention as we should.

[astralhope]

Everything in this scene is perfect: the way Yuma's expression changes from annoyed to surprise while listening to Astral's explanation of why they have to go immediately home, and the way Astral's expression doesn't change until the end of the scene, where his face is like this :-(

[angelicartemis]

OH LAWD... I LOVE HIM 😭‼️💕💕💕

The SECOND I finished watching the pilot I busted out my IPad and got absolutely silly.

HOUGHHHDHZ THE HIM 😫‼️

[worstloki]

Fortesa Latifi, We Were Young

[pwouted]

um updated version of this post. our dear sweet boy has passed away, and i don't even know what to do i never have, experienced loss like this in such a long time and it hurts so. so much. knowing that it could have been prevented and knowing that because of who we are and what we live through effected him in the end.

i will still be keeping my ko-fi up, to be able to afford getting him cremated as soon as possible because it's honestly what we would prefer. thank you for those who tried to help to get him treatment. thank you to those who shared. thank you for keeping him on your mind and in your hearts. i know he will always be in mine.

from now on we're just going to do our best to care for our youngest boy, and make sure that he can stay as happy and healthy as he is forever and ever.

i will also be leaving my pypal link, if you would prefer to send it directly. it can be found here. so far we did have 130 raised out of our 480 goal

the vet actually called us bakcjfjkg we told them what happened and they said it could cost around 200 dollars for cremation. um, we'll try to raise about 200 to try and get him a good urn as well and such and because of transport and such or whatever i don't even know.

please please please, keep this angel in your heart please :( thank you this is very urgent so :( yes thank you

[hetyra]

As someone who is legally half-blind in one eye due to incomplete optic nerves, I feel for Jiaoqiu so much.

Like one of my biggest fears is something happening to my good eye and having to rely on my eye whose vision is full of holes. It can't make out detail well due to the holes, and that also makes reading impossible. Even billboards are difficult to read with that eye.

While Jiaoqiu's vision is most certainly even worse than that, the fact that I can actually imagine how bad it is due to my own personal experience just makes my heart hurt for him that much more.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

am I the only one who finds myself getting more attached to bucktommy and Tommy himself the more people push against it or

[jula483]

SCREAMING

[unproduciblesmackdown]

5 years later ghost posting from jason sweettooth williams: "In honor of Halloween and all things ghostly, here is the picture I took of a ghost from the stage of the Lyceum Theater on Broadway. I was on stage in the middle of tech and looked up and spotted this. I think about her often but especially tonight on Halloween! #happyhalloween #ghost #theater #bemorechill #broadway"

[soli-nepenthe]

maybe just maybe if I could get Sylus's 'Night of Secrecy' it would heal up something in me, just from the sheer love, devotion, and vulnerability he shows his beloved. he is such a gentle and genteel lover...