#i jsut want them to talk about their problems goddammit

[cringefail-clown]

guilt

[yourlocalmechanism-dr-carmilla]

Ill be talking abit about my trans experience, first some facts:

-i only want top surgery, no bottom surgery or hormone therapy

-my name isnt legally changed, sadly. I currently habe a first and a second name(more to my name later)

-i use he/they/it- i try it/its out so it may be temporary ^^

-i dont have a binder or tape(i meed to buy myslef tape goddammit)

-i luckily dont suffer from voice dysphoria or body dysphoria; idc about my boobs(they are a tool for me when i cosplay female characters, i am good at really drawing the line between character and me). Also i just want my uterus gone cause periods SUCK.

Sooo.. my sister was abit sleptical at first, as i wasnt the "typical trans guy" ..which was kinda not very nice, like i felt mot taken serious. And her and my younger sister did amde clmments "thats not very masculine" when i wore make up or "feminkne" clothes- they meant it as a joke but its annoying. I5 went quite quick with my parents, they adjusted and accept. But i jsut say i use he/him (as kn german tehre aint a term for they/them and i dont think they would go with it/its). Now i did had my fair share of names whuch i am not proud lf. Yes one of my current names is from a podcast i like- but my family outright refuses to use it. They use a outdated name i dont use anymore(not my deadname) which is like...it could be worse yet it still hurts. I think they will onyl avvept a name that "i picked oit myself and that ksnt from a fictional character i like" and then my dad ks like "you dont know who you are really..." which is like..oh thanks, now i have a identity crisis, well done! Or when he said that (the topic was therapy) "adhd isnt your biggest problem, you dint know who you are right nwo, you are in a transition" and its like..thanks parents. Hwo will i ever KNOW a name i like if you refuse tl adapt?theres a reason why i dlnt share stuff that bothers me with them, they wouldnt understand...atleast they accept my pronouns. Butnalso, thus causes me to invalidate myself sometimes...yea its not great