#i jsut listening to the sound track over and over and over and think abt going thru and pulling out every little theme use and putting them

[opens-up-4-nobody]

If you need me, I'll just be listening to Jesus Christ Superstar 10 billion times

[brackenfur]

au starting from lost stars/one non canon event mentioned but i cant stop thinking abt a scene where bramblestar slips up abt thinking abt killing firestar in sunset n how squirrel would react to that. this is a very quick drabble aka its not rly thought out or edited, i jsut needed to write and get it out somewhere ! i also cant rly definitively say that everything abt bramblestars version of events/what squirrelflight knew abt the foxtrap scene is canon-accurate since its been a minute since ive read tnp + that time period is extremely muddled in terms of which author writes it and what any cat outside of bramblestar ACTUALLY knows.

anyways tysm for reading <3

"i've sacrificed everything for this relationship, for you," bramblestar snaps, eyes that were at one moment dim and exhausted from his oncoming illness now alight with anger. "you don't even know how much pressure i was under all those years ago, after we got back together and i became deputy. i was dealing with my new position, with thunderclan's mistrust, with hawkfrost telling me to-" and he stops dead in his tracks, eyes widening just slightly as he realizes he let something slip.

squirrelflight blinks, deeply uncomfortable by his reaction. she knows that he and hawkfrost kept communicating after she and bramblestar got back together, and she knows to this day that hawkfrost never had good intentions - but there is something about the way bramblestar looks away from her, how his fur prickles along his spine, that makes her think there's more to this story.

"hawkfrost telling you to what?" she tries to keep up her bravado and confrontational tone so he doesn't detect how disturbed she's becoming, but her voice wavers. "what are you talking about?"

"nothing," he says too quickly, shaking his head. "it doesn't matter. i'm tired, squirrelflight; this leafbare is the worst i've seen, and i'm not feeling my best, either. you know that - i've been so sick, and-"

"yes, you are sick, and i've told you to rest," she reminds him, cutting him off. "and i'm sorry about that, but what are you talking about with hawkfrost?"

"i said it was nothing."

"it doesn't look like it was nothing."

bramblestar sets his jaw, shaking his head. "you know how he was. i was just going to say that he was just trying to pressure me to stop talking to you, that's it."

it doesn't feel like that was it. she has no love for hawkfrost and doesn't particularly care that he didn't like her much either - but bramblestar wouldn't be so upset and secretive about something that trivial. there's more.

"you're not telling me something," she says finally. "i know you - or, i mean, i think i know you. you're hiding something from me about hawkfrost, and i swear to starclan - we just had a conversation the other night about being truthful."

"i've always been truthful."

"it seems like you're not right now, though. i've laid out all of my secrets and told you every bad thing i've done - i've let the whole forest know my demons. not by choice, but what's done is done. there's something you're not telling me about hawkfrost - and don't tell me he didn't like me, we all know that. what was he telling you to do?"

he twitches his whiskers. "squirrelflight, you need to drop it."

this just makes her more angry. "i've told you everything i've done and you're always going on about how we need to stay truthful to each other to make this work - whatever it is, i'll listen to you about it. i know how hawkfrost was - did he want you to take over the forest, or something? i know he talked to mudclaw about things like that; he wasn't subtle about his plans to be tigerstar junior."

bramblestar looks deeply uncomfortable. "i didn't do what he wanted me to do, you know i didn't," he finally says after what seems like an hour; she blinks, unsure of what he's talking about.

"what do you mean? like...yeah, you didn't take over-"

"he wanted me to become thunderclan's leader. that's it. now, please, just drop it."

she frowns. she kind of expected that, but there's....a deep shame in his eyes, and she thinks there's an element to this story he's not saying. he's being evasive and private, and her heart begins to beat harder when she really, really thinks back on all those years ago.

a memory surfaces, one that she always thought about with pain and yet an underlying feeling of pride - for brambleclaw, for her mate, for saving her father....

it hits her then. she always thought that the foxtrap was brambleclaw's moment of undying loyalty to her father - stumbling upon hawkfrost about to kill firestar, and immediately jumping to his defense. that's always how he told it, anyways; he knew what hawkfrost wanted to do, and put an end to it.

but there were always these underlying moments that she couldn't quite place over the years - some type of underlying shame and embarrassment that she just chalked up to grief for his brother.

they look at each other, and she tries to keep calm. "when you found my father in the foxtrap," she says slowly. "did you think about letting hawkfrost kill him?"

bramblestar's beat of silence is all she needed to know; he immediately tries recovering it, though.

"squirrelflight, i would've never done that- hawkfrost and tigerstar were-"

"tigerstar? what does your father have to do with this?"

bramblestar is very quiet; she thinks that the world around them is completely silent as they stand in the middle of a snowy clearing. the cold usually heightens the sounds in the air, but in this moment all squirrelflight can hear is the thudding of her own heart.

bramblestar seems like he's trying to piece his thoughts together carefully; she forces herself to wait until he finally says: "i was never going to do it," he says, voice tight with emotion. "squirrelflight, i loved your father - you know that." she can barely hear him anymore as she finally grasps what exactly he's telling her. "my father and my brother- you've heard about how they are from lionblaze and ivypool and the others that went to the dark forest, how could i have- they were my family once, i thought that maybe-"

so that was his big secret, the one that he never meant for her to uncover. everything makes a little more sense now; the guilt and shame in bramblestar's eyes for those first seasons after hawkfrost's death whenever he'd look at firestar, the overcompensation bramblestar tried to preform as deputy. it wasn't because he felt like he allowed his brother to cause harm to firestar before saving him, it was-

"hawkfrost told you to kill firestar," she says softly, looking up at her mate. "but that- if it was just that, you would have told me, not lead me to believe that hawkfrost was the one who wanted to do it all along," she feels herself shaking as the shame begins to come back into bramblestar's expression. "you thought about, didn't you? about killing my father so you could become leader?"

bramblestar gives one moment of hesitation, and she shakes her head.

"i'm going to be sick," she says quickly, stepping away from him.

"i didn't hurt him. it wasn't-"

"this whole time, you've shamed me and made me feel like the worst cat that's been born because i kept a secret for my sister," she almost spits, her fur raising. "i don't know if i was morally right or wrong, i don't know what anyone else would do in my paws during that time - but you made me feel like i was worthless for a year because i protected leafpool, and now i finally get to know that you not only met up frequently with tigerstar but that you actually- you thought about killing my father. you thought about hurting firestar just so you could become leader."

ashfur's jibe all those years ago suddenly makes more sense - after the fire, the way he bumped into her with his shoulder and sneered you don't really even know your own mate, do you?

who knew that even after all this time after his death, ashfur still got the last laugh.

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross