#i imagine the reed like floridan men like punching crocodiles or something

[ilikestuffthatsparkles]

I need more of this shit please provide more of this shit i need it

in modern asoiaf wex is theon’s 12 year old algebra tutor (child genius and teenage dirtbag buddy comedy duo situation) who theon enlists to do the accounting for his business (selling vapes filled with water to kids in the park for 50 bucks each) until lysa finds out he sold robin an ‘e-cigarette’ and calls the police. wex lies to the cops for theon (who’s now temporarily blinded after lysa maced him) so theon is forever in this seventh grader’s debt but the only thing wex asks for is a date with asha because he knows it’ll piss theon off sooooo bad. asha thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world also she hates theon so she and qarl take wex out for ice cream while theon vents in his journal (robb said his therapist recommends it to blow off steam) until he gets bored and punches a hole through the wall next to a neat row of other punched holes covered by posters of half naked men covered by pictures of half naked women. their business is failing btw bran keeps stealing the pre-janked vapes from theon’s bag so he can give them to jojen (neither of them vape they just like to have them) and theon is convinced that the police are watching him and taking his vapes before he can sell them so that the government can force him to get a job because ramsay (lab partner in biology who always smells like pepperoni and b/o) told him about area 51 and now theon’s really scared of the fbi monitoring him and busting up his fake vape business and putting him away for life in one of those freaky facilities ramsay won’t shut up about where they torture you and probe you probably (he tries not to think about the probing because it makes his stomach feel weird). ok good night i loveyou