#i imagine that this event is in sixth grade

[dameronspector]

Challengers (Avengers edition)

Pairings: Joaquin Torres x Fem!Stark!Reader (Established Relationship); Bob Reynolds x Fem!Stark!Reader

Summary: Coming back from a mission, you discover that Bucky has joined a whole new team, lead by a freak like Valentina. In order to get information and protect Sam, you and Joaquin decide to visit Bucky and his new team before taking the next step. But a certain golden boy laid his eyes on you and is instantly head over heels. How will everyone navigate this, especially when you have a boyfriend?

Warnings: Fuff, Banter, Angst, Cameos, Joaquin loves Reader a LOT, Joaquin being a cutie, SamBucky being angsty husbands and protective dads, Poor Bob suffers :(, Mentions of Bob’s Addiction and Mental Illnesses, Yearning and Longing from Bob, Jealous!Joaquin, Jealous!Bob, Reader is a littleeee short tempered, Reader is mentioned to have hair long enough to be let down loose, thats all i think! Let me know if i should add something else!

DISCLAIMER: i have not seen challengers yet, this is just my imagination and i have shifted some events from thunderbolts to fit the time frame better for the fic.

AN: this was so juicy to cook……I love the concept of both of these men loving me and yearning over me. HEHE. 😛 Enjoy!

If someone would've told you a few years ago, that you'd be in the same team as Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, you would've laughed in their face.

And if someone would’ve told you that you’d start dating Sam Wilson’s protégé, you’d maybe chuckle.

But if someone would've told you that Bucky Barnes would join a government controlled Avengers team, you'd have laughed hysterically because there's no way, that the man who fought against your father about letting the government handle the Avengers would do this, right?

Wrong.

Here you were, fuming on the couch at Sam’s base, with Joaquin, your boyfriend, sitting on your right, with his usually composed face hardened with anger.

And poor Sam, he was simply leaning forward with his elbows braced on his knees, face set into an upset frown, eyes slightly glossy.

You see, the news channels were flashing with the hottest news of the hour: 'CIA Director, Valentina Allegra De Fontaine forms her own Avengers team: The New Avengers.'

The members?

Yelena Belova: Ex-Widow and Natasha Romanoff’s sister.

Alexei Shostakov: Russian Super Soldier, Yelena and Natasha’s ‘father’.

Ava Starr: Most Wanted Assassin in 15 countries.

John Fucking Walker: Grade A Asshole, your personal enemy.

Some guy named Bob: who wasn’t even visible in the footage?

And the sixth member? None other than James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes.

The same James Barnes, that had visited you three a few months ago, after Joaquin’s accident and had hugged you while you cried into his suit.

The same James Barnes, that had hugged Sam and said that he loved him, his first ever admittance to another human, since he went under the ice.

The same James Barnes, that had told Sam that he believed in him to reestablish the Avengers and lead them, and that he’d be the first one to join his team.

And now all this. Him in the same team as John Walker? In a team that was formed by Valentina? Evil and corrupt Valentina, who was also the CIA director? He didn’t even think once about consulting Sam?

Boy, were you pissed.

You see, the three of you were off completing an assignment in Belgium for the past week. Which means, that you had completely missed out on the whole blackout stuff that happened.

The team was a proper mess, and you had just entered the base when Sam received a call from Sarah, asking him turn on the TV immediately.

You dropped your bags and settled down in front of the TV, watching the atrocious press conference with Bucky standing there in the background.

“Has he—is he serious right now?!”, you glowered, looking at the TV screen and then Sam, incredulously.

“Dude. This should be considered treason like, I don’t care”, Joaquin added, looking at Sam with his face awash in irritation.

Sam let out a weary sigh, “Guys, just…leave it”, he lifted the remote and turned the TV off, sinking into the couch with a hand dragging down his face.

You exchanged a worried look with Joaquin, who noticed your clenched fists and gently held them in his hands, thumbs caressing the back of them to soothe your anger.

As if it wasn't bad already, your phones went off, notifications pinging one after the other. Joaquin opened his phone and sighed, showing the texts from the group chat you'd made for Sam's Avengers.

The Avengers

Ant-man: Did you guys check the news?

Kate: @/Sam Wilson what are we going to do about this😵‍💫

Carol Danvers: What's going on?

Princess Shuri: is that Bucky??? and is that Ross’s ex wife??? has white boy lost it?? im sending this shit to ayo

Shang-Chi: @/Carol Danvers Bucky joined a new team 🤐 Turn on NBC

Kamala: Umm...@/Scott Lang isn't that Ghost...😦

Ant-man: @/Kamala Khan Yes, she is...I didn't know she was allowed to roam around in public..

Kate: @/you where are you girl

Kamala: omgggg yessss @/you the audience needs you here

Carol Danvers: @/Sam Wilson Should I come over? What is our next plan of action?

Shang-Chi: @/Joaquin Torres Don't leave us on seen bro tf

You groaned and Sam looked up at the noise, his eyes narrowing at you two.

"What is it?", he mumbled.

"The team is going crazy, Sam. Princess Shuri is talkin' about sending this news to the Dora", Joaquin replied, his fingers still scrolling through the endless chats. He put up a text in the chat that he was with Sam and you right now and that's why none of you were answering the texts.

"Sam, we need to do something. At least sue them, or whatever. They can't just take up the name like that", you argued, fingers fidgeting with each other restlessly.

You were never known for your patience, much like your dad. Always bouncing off the walls with stress and your short temper. And now that he wasn't around to keep you grounded, you just got worse. Your grief bleeding into your frustration. And right now, Bucky was not helping you by abandoning you, Sam and Joaquin like that. Just when you thought that it was all falling into line, Valentina had to fuck it up and break your family apart, again.

"Can we even do that?", Joaquin asked in confusion.

Sam beat you to it, "Yes, but it'll be messy. We need a good lawyer for that. And besides, I don't wanna hurt him.."

“Nobody wants to hurt Bucky. But you can’t possibly excuse this…this stupidity, yeah? And we’ll get the best lawyers in the entire country. You’re Captain America, don’t forget that”, you urged earnestly.

Sam exhaled deeply, closing his eyes before continuing, “I need some time to think about it. I’ve gotta meet Riri Williams and this Spider-Man after that. We’re doing nothin’ for now.”

He sat up and grabbed his phone, about to get ready to leave for New York to meet up with Riri Williams, the team’s possible new member.

“And both of you aren’t going anywhere, you hear me? I swear, if I see y’all’s faces on the TV or in the papers, you’re benched. For months, this time. We’ll do this legally. And we need to be as careful as we can be, to make our case stronger”, he chided gently, his face stern as if he was saying there would be no arguments about this.

He was referring to the time you’d confronted Walker outside the police station, after Bucky was bailed. Walker being a piece of shit, gave an interview about it and trash talked you in public, basically. All that PR training that Pepper had taught you, had gone out of the window when you saw Walker’s arrogant face.

You swore that you’d punch him atleast once, then.

You grumbled at Sam’s words, Joaquin immediately responded in defense.

“Dude, come on. We gotta give it back to them! Bucky will understand, he probably even hates being there. None of them look like they wanna be there, if I’m gonna be honest”, he shrugged and smiled in disbelief.

Sam chuckled and messed your hair, patting Joaquin’s back after.

“Don’t let her do somethin’ dumb”, he teased, making you grumble once again.

Sharing a smile with Joaquin, he promptly left the room and prepared to leave.

-

After Sam left, you absentmindedly made your way back to the living area, plopping down on the couch with your teeth stressing your lips.

In your daze, you didn’t notice Joaquin sit down next to you, his eyes trained on the lost look on your face.

He could see the gears turning around in your head. He knew exactly what you were thinking. Knew it right after he saw you gasp at the news. Nudging you slightly, he brought you out of your trance, you jumped before looking at him with furrowed brows.

“You’re gonna meet Bucky anyways”, he simply stated, brown eyes shimmering knowingly. He knew you too well.

You paused, giving him a sheepish smile. He chuckled and kissed your cheek, standing up to bring his laptop to the couch. You watched him go in amusement.

“Well, we gotta see where they’re headquartered first, Miss Stark. Then, we ride at dawn!”, he quipped as he sat back down next to you.

“Wait. Really? You’ll help?”, you asked in disbelief. Him breaking Sam’s rules wasn’t shocking, but he was protective of you. You thought he’d listen to Sam and make you stay back.

His hands jumped across the keyboard, him replying to you without taking his eyes off from the screen, “Of course, baby. I’m not letting our cyborg hurt our old man like that. And, I’d love to punch Walker as well, so...”, he trailed off and flashed you a dopey smile, one that made his cheeks look squishable.

You shook your head, pinching his cheek gently. He leaned into it before going back to his research. The sunlight coming in from the large window behind you made his golden skin look like he was the sun himself, his flannel making him look cozy.

A few beats passed and he suddenly froze, hands gripping the laptop tightly and lips pursed, eyebrows scrunched in distress. You instantly straightened up, your hand falling from his cheek and resting on his shoulder instead.

“What is it?”, you asked in urgency, your mind already conjuring unrealistic scenarios.

He looked at you nervously, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

“Joaquin, just say it, I’m freaking out”, you pleaded, a hand squeezing his shoulder.

“They…Do you know what happened to the Tower?”, he murmured hesitantly.

You made a face, “The tower? You mean, the Avengers Tower?”

Joaquin nodded in confirmation.

“Yeah, Dad sold it to Valentina- or rather, OXE, after the Sokovia shit”, you informed.

“Uh—what are the chances of you guys-like, the Starks- having any control over it?”, he asked hesitantly.

You frowned, “Well, none, because she owns it now. If she suddenly decided to auction it, then it’s possible. Stark Industries can buy it back. Why?”

Joaquin pursed his lips and shifted the laptop so that it faced you, “Baby, she’s made the Tower the official HQ of their team.”

“What?”, you blurted out, a deep ache settling into your chest, your hands moving on their own accord and grabbing the laptop, reading the headline displayed on the screen.

‘“As they say: History repeats itself!”’—CIA Director Valentina De Fontaine speaks out about turning the iconic landmark, 'Stark-turned-Avengers' Tower into her new team’s HQ!’

You gritted your teeth so hard, your gums hurt. Joaquin could feel the anger radiating off you, the emotion mixed with a high bout of grief and sadness. The kind that came after going through too much shit for too long. The kind that came from bone deep exhaustion and a weird mixture of emotions.

He knew that. And he knew you.

He knew you weren’t taking this easy. This was personal. That tower was your home, made by your father, a place where you’d spent a good chunk of your childhood, a place where your family spent most of their time together.

Now? Now it belonged to that manipulative leech who was trying to pull you all down. And she was parading it around like it was some fucking trophy. Like the legacy was a joke to her.

“We’re going. Now. I don’t—”, you choked on the lump your throat, Joaquin extending an arm to tuck his hand behind your ear, thumb gently caressing under your eye.

“I know, I know. We’ll be going. But not now, okay?”

You opened your mouth to disagree when he stopped you, the other hand coming up to brush your hair behind your ear.

“Listen to me, angel. We’ll go tomorrow, yeah? Let Sam settle in New York. He’s gonna introduce Riri and Kate, will have a meeting with them tomorrow, so he’ll be busy. Till then, we’ll also get some time to think and plan before marching there. I understand how you’re feeling. But we need to be careful, okay?”, he soothed you, hands cradling your face like you were made of glass, eyes oozing with concern and love.

Your bottom lip trembled, unable to hold your tears back after his gentle words. What did you do to deserve him?

He set the laptop aside, bringing you in his arms and letting you bury your head in his chest. A hand came behind your head to keep you there, the other hand smoothing over your back and his lips pressed into your hair.

You fisted his flannel tightly in your hands, tears dampening the soft fabric of the t-shirt he wore inside the flannel, sniffling constantly as more tears fell.

“It’ll be okay. I promise”, he murmured, lips brushing against your hair.

Although, you weren’t sure it’d be as easy as it sounds.

-

“We’re not entering from the main entrance.”

Joaquin looked up in confusion at your words, “What?”, his hands halting on the cursor as he scoured through Valentina’s files to get some more information on her.

It was the next day, Sam had been busy in meeting with Kate and Riri, as Joaquin had said. The two of you were planning to visit Bucky today, in the Tower, but it needed to be done discreetly. Without the media finding out.

You came up with the only option you knew: using your suits to get in.

You pursed your lips before smirking, “You know, there’s a launch pad in the Tower for a reason, right?”

Joaquin’s eyebrows creased before his face lit up with realisation.

“You mean, the suits? Angel, at least you can hide yours but Sam will take away my privileges to fly, for sure”, he quipped nervously, hating the fact that he’d lie to Sam but also thrilled at the thought of entering the Tower with his wings. He loved his wings like he’d birthed them.

You walked over to his chair and hugged him from behind, leaning down to press your cheek against his. His hands came up to hold your forearms, nuzzling his face back against yours.

“I know. I’ll help you, don’t worry. And you’re literally his son, when has he ever been strict with you?”, you teased lightly and he chuckled. He definitely took advantage of the fact that Sam had a soft spot for him.

It reminded you of someone, but you blanked out, your mind restarting mid-thought. As if you weren’t supposed to think of that.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay. But—”, he turned his face to look at you in the eye, “You’re gonna stay calm and protect your peace, hm? I don’t want you to stress about those dollar store Avengers more than it’s necessary”, he proposed, his eyes darting from your lips to your eyes, admiring your side profile. How did he manage to get distracted every time he looked at you, was beyond him, but it was always a welcome distraction.

You bit the inside of your cheek in thought. You both knew that was going to be a task, because you’re not qualified to be a Stark if you don’t have the drama and flair in you. It was natural.

“We’ll tackle that problem when it arises. For now, let’s move before we lose our window”, you murmured, nuzzling your nose against his lightly.

Joaquin hummed and brought you closer with a hand on your cheek and pressed a loving kiss to your lips.

-

Bob’s POV

Bob was having a relatively normal day.

Well, as normal as it got for being a new avenger, moving into the Tower with a bunch of assassins, and battling with his own powers and demons, then yes, it was a normal day.

He woke up, had waffles and his iced coffee and lounged on the sofa in the living room, with a book in his hands. They had another press conference today, the rest of the team buzzing around the area, minus him, because he was not cleared for any activity for the next few months, at least.

He was fine with it, honestly, having no energy to put up with the other guys and the memory loss that followed. He had promised Yelena and Bucky that he’d go to therapy, Bucky even suggested his own therapist, saying that she’s a bit tough, but she gets the work done. Bob agreed to taking a trial session with her and proceed further.

“Where the hell is Ava?!”, Yelena cried out in irritation, stomping into the room.

Bob looked up from the page he was reading, Yelena panicking around the room, John sauntering in like he owns the place, Bucky looked perpetually tired and Alexei was missing. Ava too, apparently.

“She might be inside the walls, knock on ‘em, maybe”, John quipped.

“Shut up, John, I don’t need your lame jokes right now. Bob, have you seen Ava?”, she asked heatedly, hands resting on her hips.

That’s when he noticed—all of them were wearing nice clothes. Like, tailored suits for the guys and a formal dress for Yelena, their hair set perfectly and faint scent of perfume wafting in the air.

Bob was surprised. All of them looked really good. He stood out like a sore thumb in front of them, his oversized blue sweatshirt and black joggers making him look smaller and homely.

“I’m not sure, she’s not been here since I came in…”, he trailed off, his blue eyes looking at Yelena sheepishly.

She huffed, pressing a hand to her forehead, “Valentina is already on our ass and now Ava decides to disappear, I’m—”

“Wowww. That was an oscar worthy performance. Although you could relax, I’m here.”

Ava suddenly appeared behind John, who jumped at her voice next to him.

“Fuck—what is wrong with you?!”, he scowled.

Ava quirked an eyebrow, “Seriously? Whatever happened to being in the military and being a decorated soldier—”

“Don’t go there—”

“And being in several war zones, like oh, look at me! I’m John Walker! I’m fearless—”

“Oh, shut up—”

“QUIET.”

The entire room was quiet after Yelena’s shout.

“Both of you, shut the fuck up! Valentina has dressed us in these super tight, uncomfortable, fancy clothes and is going to show us off like we’re some trophies, so you better get your shit together and move”, she ordered. Furiously.

Bob was watching the whole scene with his mouth open, Bucky couldn’t be anymore bothered, and Ava and John had to decency to look ashamed.

Bob was having a normal day.

But then they heard some noises coming from the launch pad and all of them stiffened up. Bob was the closest to the window, so he slowly stood up, resting his book face down on the couch.

Bucky slowly raised his head in confusion, Ava and John exchanged a look and Yelena walked a little closer to Bob to protect him.

“What the hell is that?”, John grumbled from above the sofa pit, his face scrunched up as he tried to decipher what or who was there.

Bob’s curiosity peaked. He shuffled closer to Yelena so that he could get a clearer look at the pad and then—

He saw a flash of red and silver. A pair of thrusters. And a flash of green and silver behind.

The green and silver belonged to a guy, that much was clear. But the red and silver suited person had their face covered. There was something distinctly familiar about the red suit.

They found out soon enough, when Bucky finally spoke up behind them.

"Oh, fuck", he groaned lowly.

And the two figures finally stepped in.

The guy with the green and silver wings had curly, dark hair. His jaw was clenched tightly, eyes trained on the entire team as if they had personally hurt him by simply existing.

And that's when John spoke up, "Hold on. Torres?", he exclaimed and looked at Bucky, who was looking at his shoes instead.

"So, that's-", John didn't get a chance to finish that sentence because the red and silver suit dissolved and revealed you.

Bob almost fainted.

Because not only were you The Tony Stark's eldest daughter, who was an all rounder and a literal hero, but you were also drop dead gorgeous.

Clad in a simple emerald green cardigan and dark blue, high waisted jeans with shoes, your soft and luscious hair was let down loose, not a single strand out of place, a dainty silver necklace rested just below your collarbones, weighted down by a red pendant, which is where the suit disappeared in.

And your eyes. Oh, your eyes. Bob could just feel the power radiating off them, your body held in such elegance and poise that he was feeling intimidated to even stand in front of you.

It felt like time had slowed down for him, and while he was busy fawning over you, he didn't take notice of the fury inside your eyes and how they were piercing through Bucky.

"Whoa, whoa. Who are you, and what is going on here, huh?", Yelena protested, looking at you, John and then Bucky.

Your sharp gaze shifted to Yelena, "I'm gonna excuse that, only because you're Nat's sister. But this is my house, as my father literally built this place and also because your team has kept my family member hostage. So, please, don't interrupt."

Yelena blinked in shock. Bob stared at you in awe.

"Barnes, what the hell?", you called him out, your face tugged into a sneer.

Bob managed to turn his head around and saw Bucky wince. The Winter Soldier just winced at the words of someone. The same Bucky who didn't even smile around them. If he was being honest, Bob found you incredibly hot at that moment.

"Hold on, what are you doing here, (Name)? And Torres? Really? We weren't gonna hurt her or anything", John scoffed.

"Oh god", Bucky murmured lowly and shook his head in disagreement at John's words.

Bob suddenly turned around, his breath hitching when his eyes passed you, before they landed on the guy next to you- someone whom Walker kept calling 'Torres.'

This...Torres guy was attractive, sure. But he was standing way too close to you and that caused Bob's jaw to tick in irritation.

Torres chuckled, "Actually, be glad that she didn't come alone, Walker. Now that I'm here, she might think of carrying this forward peacefully", he shrugged casually.

Bob didn't miss the way Torres’ eyes shone with pride when he talked about you. He felt an ache in his chest, again.

"I'd listen to him", Bucky rasped and the entire room looked at him in shock.

Bob almost laughed as he thought: did you beat Bucky in combat?

"I need to talk to you. Alone", you admitted, arms crossed around your chest, face set tightly as you looked at Bucky.

He pursed his lips and nodded grimly, "Let's go-"

"No, no, hold on. You can't just come here and take him away. We have a press conference to attend-", Ava protested and was cut off with your scoff.

"You know damn well, you don't give a fuck about that. And I can take him away, because he’ll join me willingly, isn't that right, James?", you quipped.

Bucky swallowed and met Ava's piercing gray eyes, Yelena and John observing him closely.

Bob's eyes darted from you and Bucky, lingering on you for longer.

"Guys, I'll...I'll be back. Come on, there's a room-"

"I know", you cut Bucky off and gestured Torres to join you.

And Bob wished he hadn't looked at you then, because Torres had his hand on your lower back and he looked at you with so much concern, that it made Bob clench his hands tightly, his blue irises surrounding themselves with a golden ring.

Bob watched the two of you go, Torres’ hand touching you so gently, as if you were something precious (you were.)

The worst part of it though? You didn’t stop him. It looked like the world was mocking him for even thinking about falling for someone as out of reach as you.

And soon enough, he felt that demeaning, cocky voice echo in his mind: ‘You’re out of your depth, Bob. She’d never look at someone as broken as you.’

And he slowly felt himself slip, the lights flickering around him when Yelena put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump in surprise.

“Bob? What’s up? You’re doing the…thing”, Yelena asked in concern, her eyebrows creased tightly.

Bob swallowed thickly, a trembling hand coming up to rub his eyes.

“Uh- nothing. I’m-I’m okay. I’m alright. Don’t worry”, he replied nervously, voice pitched high because of the lump stuck in his throat.

How was he going to tell her that he had just fallen in love with somebody he was meeting for the first time?

-

“Bucky, why’d you do this?”, you almost whined, your glossy eyes looking up at him in disbelief and hurt, the front that you had put up out there, had completely disappeared. There was just a deep betrayal shining in your eyes, your body coiled tight with tension.

Joaquin was torn between glaring at Bucky and pulling you in his arms, your teary eyes and the ache rolling off your body hitting him in waves.

Bucky stood there helplessly, his own tearful eyes were trained at his shoes, hands clenched tightly which caused his vibranium arm to whirr softly.

“Sam has been working so hard”, your voice cracking at ‘hard’.

“He’s been going to one end of the world to the other, just to recruit people. Half of them are either dead or off world. The pressure is on him. You know he gets scrutinised for everything he does. All this time, we held out hope that you’d join, just like you’d promised. And now you’re going against him? You guys wanna make history repeat itself and become Tony Stark and Steve Rogers? You promised!”, you jabbed a finger in his chest.

Bucky stumbled back and looked up at you, hurt flashing over his face like a splash of water.

“No, don’t cry, kid, please”, he almost begged, his hands held up in a placating gesture.

You sniffled, vision blurry from the tears pooling in your eyes.

“Man, do you have any excuse for this? We get back from a mission to find out that New York was in a backout, and you were standing there, behind the devil herself, with a whole new team, with the same name!”, Joaquin said incredulously.

“I know, I know. I didn’t do this on purpose. I swear, (Name)”, he pleaded.

You frowned, “What does that mean, Bucky? You can’t be possibly saying that someone forced you.”

“Not forced. Valentina has threatened to release the files and documents related to us in the public if we don’t cooperate”, he clarified.

“But, it’s not like they don’t know about you?”, Joaquin asked in confusion.

“True. But she’ll put back the parts that were omitted. And she’ll get us acquitted of all the crimes we were pardoned for.”

You furrowed your brows, “What? Maybe she should look into the mirror once, because I know shit about her that she wishes I didn’t.”

And then he told you about everything that lead to this. The vault, the mission, the Sentry project, the Void, Bob's profile—everything.

“You mean, that blackout thing, that was because of one, singular guy?”, Joaquin sputtered, his face frozen with an incredulous look.

“Yeah. And…he’s here. He’ll live with us now”, Bucky replied tentatively, watching you closely.

You frowned as you realised Valentina’s intentions, “You said he struggled with addiction and mental illnesses. So, Valentina is manipulating him to become the Sentry and the blackout thing?"

"Yep. All that happened because she provoked him to hurt everyone", Bucky sighed before continuing, “He’s not dangerous when he’s not being…the other guy. The guy who was standing next to Yelena? That’s him. Bob. He’s actually not allowed to leave the tower for a while, so…”

Joaquin froze, “Wait, Bob. We saw his name in the news but….we couldn’t see him?”

Bucky scoffed, “When he’s not being an all powerful god, he hates social interactions. Very awkward and shy. Think me, but from a few years ago.”

You made a surprised voice, “Huh. He’s the guy in the blue sweatshirt?”

Bucky nodded. You sighed, mulling the fact over. Joaquin chewed on his lips.

“Anyways…we need to send her ass to jail, Bucky. What are you gonna do next?”, you asked. Waiting for him to propose something before you could spoil Sam’s plans.

Bucky let out a bone deep sigh. The exhaustion clearly written across his face, “I don’t know. They’re all just as hopeless as me, if not worse.”

“Hold on. That reminds me, Walker?”, Joaquin quipped, his arms tightly crossed around his chest.

You perk up, “Oh, yeah. What, you’re buddies with him suddenly? Is this an enemies to lovers thing?”, your eyes narrowed in annoyance.

Bucky sputtered, “No, no. It’s not like that. You—”, he let out a breath before continuing, “Okay, there’s no friendship or anythin’ between me and Walker. I just have to put up with him. I don’t even talk to them much, apart from Yelena and Bob. But, getting back to the topic at hand, no, we can’t do anything against Valentina right now. My hands are under rocks. I’m sorry, kid.”

His face had melted into a sad puppy look, one that made him look older and exhausted. Like he just needed a nap.

And you felt your anger melt away. You could never stay mad at him and his puppy dog eyes for long, anyways.

“Sam…is he…how is he?”, he asked softly, his voice getting caught at Sam’s name. You and Joaquin exchanged a look.

The two men were practically each other’s soulmates. This was killing them more than any one else.

“Oh, he’s proper mad at you. Blocked you and everythin'”, Joaquin decided to tease. You elbowed him gently, coaxing a small chuckle out of him, his shoulder bumping against yours.

Bucky’s jaw clenched, “Not surprised”, he said dryly.

You clicked your tongue, “Shut up, Jay”, chiding Joaquin gently. He pressed a kiss to your temple as an apology.

“He’s naturally upset, Buck. Just…try talking to him. It’s better if the two of you converse with each other, rather than us being the mediators, yeah? You guys will figure something out. He’s broken the law for you, twice. What’s one more time?”, you reminded him gently, a hand resting on his arm.

Bucky looked at you and gave you a nervous smile, vibranium hand coming up to cover yours on his arm.

“See? We’ll get the band back together just fine, angel”, Joaquin smiled, tapping Bucky’s shoulder with the back of his hand. Bucky looked at it and stared at Joaquin blankly.

“Tell your boyfriend to tone it down with me, doll”, he deadpanned.

Joaquin gasped dramatically. You giggled.

“C’mon. I’ll introduce you to them”, he urged, pulling you and Joaquin with him to the main area.

-

The team was now seated around the sofa pit, mindless chatter and bickering being passed back and forth. They stopped when you entered, looking at you warily instead.

The sight almost gave you a very real flashback.

Instead of Yelena, you saw Natasha. Instead of John, it was Steve. You could hear their laughs, your dad and Steve’s useless arguments, Pepper fussing over your dad, Rhodey and Thor annoying Bruce. It felt real.

You almost smiled, your eyes teary and lips twitching, when Joaquin pulled you out of it.

“Baby? You okay?”, he murmured into your ear, hand smoothing over your back.

You snapped back to the present, suddenly feeling everyone’s eyes on you and you shrunk back, Joaquin’s arm coming around your waist to ground you.

“Alright, stop staring at her, you’re putting her on the spot”, Bucky announced and all of them coughed, shifting their attention to Bucky instead.

You looked around the room skeptically and that’s when you saw him.

Bob. Clad in a blue sweatshirt, black joggers. His hair was curly and shabby, brown in colour and it fell around his face in waves. Are we sure this was the same man who was deemed as a weapon?, you thought.

Joaquin seemed to have been observing him too. But he noticed his nervous and jittery body language. The way he made himself small, even though he was 6 foot tall, at least. How could this man be capable of ending the world with just a flick of his hand?

Another thing that Joaquin’s sharp eyes noticed: Bob’s eyes kept nervously darting around the room, lingering on you every now and then. Except, Bob’s eyes lingered on you for too long. A dazed look on his face whenever they landed on you.

Joaquin made note of that and kept a close eye on him, just to test something. His hand brought you closer to his side, finding comfort in your warm body pressed against his.

“I’m sure you all know who she is. She’s (Name) Stark, Tony Stark’s daughter, philanthropist and genius. You might also know her as Iron-Lady, her alter ego”, Bucky introduced you to the others.

Of course, John had to speak up first.

“I’d introduce myself, but you know me already, so”, he smiled like a dumbass.

“Unfortunately”, you deadpanned and everyone snickered.

Except Alexei, who chortled like a bear. John grimaced and covered his ears, as the man began talking in that thick Russian accent of his.

“You very funny, Miss Stark. I like that. I like funny people. Welcome to the team. I will give you a customised track suit as well. Just—”

“Dad, stop it, she's not joining the team”, Yelena groaned.

“Why’d you say unfortunately, I—”

“Why wouldn’t she join, Lena? This merch so soft. I bet she’s never felt anything like this before—”

“She’s literally royalty, you idiot-”

“All of you, shut up”, Bucky ordered and suddenly the room fell quiet. You and Joaquin looked at him impressively.

The role of a leader suited him quite a lot. You felt your heart bloom in pride, to be very honest. And you were sure, that Sam would be very proud as well. More reason for Bucky to be a part of Sam's team, instead of this mess.

Suddenly a voice spoke up from next to Yelena, “And who’s that?”

All eyes snapped to look at Bob, who’d asked the question. He’d not said a word until now, his eyes intently focused on Joaquin and you.

Joaquin narrowed his eyes in challenge, the team exchanging confused glances, Bucky observing the situation closely.

“Uh…That’s Captain Joaquin Torres. He’s in the Air Force and he’s Sam’s protégé. The new Falcon”, Bucky gestured towards Joaquin.

Joaquin gave everyone a two fingered salute, his eyes lingering on Bob, who clenched his jaw.

Alexei’s eyes widened again, “Air force?! Oh, you do great work, Captain Torres. And you’re the falcon, you’re literally a a bird yourself. That is so cool. Thank you for protecting the country, from the skies, like a free bird. We salute you—”

“Oh my god”, John grumbled and rolled his eyes.

“You guys are so irritating”, Ava groaned.

“What—I was just comp-”

“Okay! Okay. Hi. Um. Nice to meet you all”, you cut their banter off, nudging Joaquin lightly to return the greeting back.

But Joaquin’s gaze was fixed elsewhere.

His brown eyes were staring intently at Yelena and Bob, Yelena’s face twisted in worry as she kept checking Bob’s eyes, whereas Bob kept staring at Joaquin and darting his gaze away.

“Quino?”, you asked him softly, worriedly looking up at him.

He saw your worried face in his peripheral and brought his attention back to you, immediately, “Yeah?”

You gestured at the team.

“Oh. Yeah. Hey, guys”, he awkwardly smiled. They returned a half hearted ‘Hey’ back, the inevitable tension clouding the room again.

“Are we going to talk about it, or not?”, Ava finally asked, ripping the bandaid off at once.

You hesitated, looking at Bucky for answers.

“Uh-not now. Later. We need to go for that conference thing before Valentina sends somebody up here. And (Name)”, he turned towards you, “You should go back. I don’t want you two getting into trouble, okay?”

You and Joaquin simply nodded your heads.

“I’ll see them off”, Bucky announced to the team and they absentmindedly chorused a ‘Yes’, waving you and Joaquin ‘Bye’.

-

Bob’s POV

If you would’ve stood there any longer, Bob would’ve set this whole thing on fire. Like the damn incinerator back at the vault.

He was feeling particularly charged up, right now. And watching you and Joaquin together, standing so close, had just triggered him more. The way you instantly leaned into Joaquin. The way his hands were around you all the time. Protective. Loving. He knew he was in denial, but he prayed that Joaquin was just a friend to you.

Bob was jealous. Which was, ridiculous, because he just met you. And he wasn’t hiding it from Yelena or Bucky's observant eyes. Like, at all.

All he wanted to do, was walk over to you and introduce himself. But the crippling self doubt rooted him to his place. Because why would someone like you, want someone like him.

He was doing it again. His eyes were turning golden. His hands trembled. The lamp behind him flickered. Yelena sat up in alarm.

“Bob. What’s going on. Do we need to call help? Should I stay back?”, she asked rapidly, her head blocking his eyes from others.

Bob scoffed, his sass dialed up to a hundred. Yelena quirked an eyebrow in interest.

“You can’t fix this”, he stated cryptically and got up, sauntering over to the launch pad. Yelena followed closely, the other three engaged in some useless discussion.

Part 2

-

AN: at this point yall should know im incapable of writing one parters LOL! but also, this concept is too scrumptious and ill be including this in another fic w joaquin and bob hehehehe.

Fun fact: the reader’s outfit was inspired by kaia gerber LMAO.

Please like and reblog!

taglist: @hearts4barnes @msfirth @spideybrie @parkersjoy @joaquinsgf @wolflikesstuff @frvv @99buttowski @eggyboyoart @superchatnoir07 @wierdlyinlike @peachyrue-777 @makinurbed @abc1234y @ba-space-geek @elyi-o @ph-1isagod @missbrekker @patheticgirl127 @lookitsgrim @spinstertheuncommon @bcystar @yelenaseyeliner @dormammuiivecometo @justeveeeee @lilajoy-ily @spvctor

Sorry if I forgot anyone or reply if u wanna be removed from the taglist!

[ovrour]

SIX YEARS, ONE MOMENT. ─── Matt B. Sturniolo

#FEATURING… Matt sturniolo, and Y/n Alova

#SUMMARY . . . Matt has liked Y/N since sixth grade but never had the courage to tell her. Finally, he asks her out, nervous but sincere, and to his joy, she says yes, revealing she’d been waiting for him to ask all along

#CATEGORY . . . fluff!!!

#WC . . . 1.8k

#SONG OF CHOICE . . . Just the way you are by Bruno Mars.

I’ve known Matt Sturniolo for as long as I can remember. Our friendship started in the neighborhood park’s sandbox, where we spent endless afternoons building castles and laughing until we could barely breathe. As we grew older, our bond only deepened, but I always sensed something more in the way he looked at me—something he never said out loud. Matt was my best friend, my partner in crime, the person who could turn my worst day around with a single smile. Yet, a part of me wondered if he was afraid to say what I sometimes felt in the air between us.

High school was a blur of shared moments. We went to school dances together, cheered each other on at games and events, and had countless late-night talks that stretched into the early morning. But despite the closeness, Matt never crossed the invisible line of friendship. It was maddening at times, especially when I caught myself imagining what it would be like if he did. He was the person I turned to when life got overwhelming, yet he was also the one who unknowingly made my heart ache with hope.

Now, with senior prom just around the corner, something felt different. Matt had called me earlier, his voice unusually serious as he asked to meet at our favorite park bench. He sounded nervous, which only made my heart race in anticipation. Was this finally it?

When I arrived, Matt was already there, holding a small bouquet of daisies—my favorite. His face lit up when he saw me, but there was an undeniable tension in his posture.

“Hey, Matt,” I greeted, smiling as I approached. “You sounded so serious on the phone. What’s going on?”

He shifted on his feet, his hands gripping the flowers tightly. “Hey, Y/n. Thanks for coming.”

I sat down beside him, studying his expression. “Of course. Are you okay? You look nervous.”

He took a deep breath and turned to face me. “Y/n, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time.” He handed me the daisies, his hands trembling slightly. My heart skipped a beat.

“I like you,” he said, his voice steady despite the obvious effort it took. “I’ve liked you for as long as I can remember, and I’ve been too scared to say anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we have. But I can’t keep it to myself anymore. You’re my best friend, Y/n, but I want us to be more than that. If you feel the same way, I’d really like to take you to prom as more than just friends.”

For a moment, I was too stunned to speak. My mind raced, trying to process his words. Was this really happening? Then, a grin broke across my face, and I couldn’t help but laugh softly.

“Matt, you’re such an idiot,” I said, shaking my head. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that?”

His eyes widened. “Wait, what?”

“I like you too,” I admitted, feeling my cheeks heat up. “I’ve been too scared to say anything for the same reasons. But yes, I’d love to go to prom with you. And yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

The relief and joy on his face were unmistakable. He let out a laugh, his smile brighter than I’d ever seen. “Really? You mean it?”

I nodded, stepping closer to him. “Really.”

Before I could say anything else, he leaned in, and our lips met in a gentle, hesitant kiss. My heart raced as I kissed him back, the world around us fading away. It was everything I’d hoped for and more, a moment that felt like it had been years in the making. When we finally pulled away, I couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could he.

We stayed at the park for hours that day, talking and laughing like we always did but with an added layer of vulnerability and joy. The sun set behind us, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange as we made our way home, hand in hand. Everything felt new and exciting, as if the world had shifted to make room for this new chapter in our lives.

The days that followed were nothing short of magical. Matt and I spent hours talking about everything—how long we’d kept our feelings hidden, the moments when we had almost said something, and the dreams we now shared. Prom night came, and it was like a scene from a fairytale. Matt showed up in a sharp suit, holding another bouquet of daisies, and the way he looked at me made my heart flutter. I wore a dress that I knew he’d love, and the look in his eyes when he saw me made every minute of preparation worth it.

At prom, we danced to every song, our laughter mingling with the music. There was something surreal about being there together, surrounded by our classmates but feeling like we were the only two people in the room. When the slow songs played, he held me close, his arms wrapped around me as if he never wanted to let go. In those moments, I felt like I was living a dream I never wanted to wake up from.

But it wasn’t just prom night that made everything special. It was the small, quiet moments—the way Matt would grab my hand when no one was looking, the way his eyes lit up when he saw me in the morning, and the way he made me feel like the most important person in the world. Being with Matt felt natural, like coming home after a long journey. It was as if everything in our lives had been leading up to this, to us.

As summer approached, we started making plans for the future. College, road trips, and all the adventures we wanted to have together. We talked about visiting our favorite places from childhood, like the park where it all started, and exploring new destinations we’d dreamed about. Each plan we made felt like a promise, a declaration of the life we wanted to build together.

One afternoon, as we sat beneath the old oak tree in the park, Matt took my hand and traced circles on my palm. “Do you ever think about where we’ll be in ten years?” he asked, his voice soft but full of hope.

I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder. “All the time. I see us happy, wherever we are. Maybe with a little house, a dog, and too many pictures on the walls.”

“And daisies,” he added with a grin. “Lots of daisies.”

“Of course,” I laughed. “Always daisies.”

Those moments, simple yet profound, reminded me of why I fell for Matt in the first place. He wasn’t just my boyfriend; he was my best friend, my confidant, and the person who knew me better than anyone else. Every day with him felt like a gift, a new chapter in our story.

As the summer days turned into nights, we spent hours beneath the stars, talking about our dreams and fears. We made a pact to always communicate, to never let fear keep us from being honest with each other again. It felt like the start of something unbreakable, a love that would weather any storm.

By the time fall came and we prepared to head off to college, I knew that no matter where life took us, Matt and I would always find our way back to each other. We packed up our lives with the promise of weekly calls, visits during the holidays, and handwritten letters. As we stood on the threshold of a new adventure, we didn’t see it as a goodbye but as the beginning of something even greater.

The transition to college was daunting, but Matt and I tackled it with determination. We video-called each other almost every night, updating each other on classes, new friends, and life in general. On weekends when we could, we’d meet halfway between our campuses, spending hours exploring small towns or simply enjoying each other’s company. Those visits became my anchor in the whirlwind of college life.

On one of those weekends, we found a small coffee shop tucked away in a quiet corner of a bustling city. It became our secret spot, a place where we could escape the pressures of school and just be together. Over cups of coffee and shared pastries, we talked about everything—from our dreams for the future to silly memories from our childhood. It felt like time stood still in that little shop, the world outside fading into a blur.

As the years passed, Matt and I grew even closer. We faced challenges together, from difficult classes to the uncertainty of what lay beyond college. Yet, through it all, our love only deepened. We celebrated each other’s victories, no matter how small, and supported each other through setbacks. It was during those years that I realized just how much Matt meant to me—not just as a boyfriend, but as a partner in every sense of the word.

One summer evening, as we sat on the rooftop of my apartment building, watching the city lights twinkle below, Matt took my hand. “Y/n,” he began, his voice soft but steady. “I know we’re still figuring things out, but there’s one thing I’m absolutely sure of—I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him, my heart swelling with love. “Matt,” I whispered, “I feel the same way. Always.”

From that moment on, our future felt even brighter. We began planning not just for the next few years, but for a lifetime together. The thought of building a life with Matt filled me with a sense of joy and contentment I’d never known before.

By the time we graduated, we knew we wanted to take the next step. We found a cozy apartment in the city, filling it with mismatched furniture, plants, and, of course, plenty of daisies. Our home became a reflection of us—imperfect but full of love and laughter.

Life wasn’t always easy. There were times when work got stressful, or when we disagreed about something trivial. But no matter what, we always found our way back to each other, holding onto the love that had brought us together in the first place. Each challenge we faced only made us stronger, reinforcing the bond we’d built over the years.

Looking back, it’s incredible to think about how far we’ve come—from two kids playing in a sandbox to partners building a life together. Matt is still my best friend, my confidant, and the person who makes me laugh when I need it most. And as I sit here, reflecting on our journey, I know that our story is far from over. With Matt by my side, I’m ready for whatever comes next.

© ovrour

taglist : @flouvela @sturniolosarethebest @stvrnmc @missmimii (comment if you wanna be added!!)

divider creds : @bernardsbendystraws

[asurrogateblog]

Cannibals, Pirates, and PhDs: How Did I Get Here?

I mentioned in some tags earlier that I’ve only actually been a real fan of Pink Floyd for under a year, and that the confluence of events that led up to it is pretty absurd. Some interest seemed to be taken in this, so I though I’d elaborate.

I didn’t know how to shorten this timeline and have it make any sense, so it’s... long. But idk, I think it’s pretty funny. If you’re nosy like I am this is for you.

My Backstory Timeline:

early childhood: my parents essentially mainline me and my little sister with The Beatles. I know almost no songs written past the 70’s until at least sixth grade. I develop a childhood crush on Paul McCartney, a joke that the universe really decides to play the long game on.

2014: my dad calls me over one night, and gravely tells me he’s been waiting to share something until I’m old enough. I brace myself to be told about sex or secret half-siblings. Instead, he tells me I need to listen to The Wall. Irritated at the idea of wasting an hour and half of my night, I nevertheless comply and go up to my room and put it on. I do not come back from this, clearly having inherited some sort of generational curse.

Around the same time, I am also secretly watching Hannibal every time my parents send me upstairs because Game of Thrones is “too gory”. This will trigger three important things: an interest in psychology, a love of horror media, and a classical music phase will train my attention span to last well past the three minute mark.

2014-2023: Over the intervening years, I become a casual fan of Pink Floyd, but make a deliberate point not to learn anything about the band. I like being able to imagine my own meanings for the songs. Also, I am motivated against this by a childhood memory of being deeply frightening by a picture of old Paul McCartney (LOL). I do not want that to ever happen again, so no learning.

Cut to April of 2023: I am finishing up my first year of my PhD program studying media psychology. I am in a bad place mentally, and am going through another horror movie phase to fill the hole. As a result, I get very into American Psycho. The main character, Patrick Bateman, is a fan of superficial 80’s pop music, particularly Genesis. I decide to start listening to Genesis to see if I agree with his tastes. While researching “best Genesis albums”, I come across The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I listen to it, and am blown away. I had no idea that the Phil Collins band made music like that. This sends me down the prog-rock rabbit hole. I still won't learn any lore.

Summer of 2023: MEANWHILE, I am also going through another pirate phase. I have a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of 18th century piracy (and am still quite active in the Black Sails fan community). Around this time, I get really obsessed with this one random guy named Dennis McCarthy who was hanged in 1718.

I decide to work poor Dennis into a science fiction story I’ve been working on. The premise is essentially that the universe is an abandoned simulation, and a ‘glitch in the matrix’ starts to, among other things, bring people from the wrong time periods back to life. The format of the story is vaguely monster-of-the-week, in which the characters have to solve various problems caused by mistakes in the code. I think, “hey, you know what would be perfect for this? that fanfic I wrote about The Wall in high school.” Said fic (which that stupid fucking beatles movie stole from me) is about a world in which Pink Floyd never existed, but a wannabe rock-star discovers a box full of their records and decides to copy them. While he is touring his plagiarized version of The Wall, he realizes that the events of the album are starting to happen to him in real life. By working this concept into my new story, I go through another one of my periodical The Wall phases. It's in full swing when fall rolls around.

September of 2023: This semester, I take a grad-level narrative theory class in the English department. I decide it would be helpful to follow along with a specific example, so I choose The Wall. Using the terminology I am learning in the class, I start to realize that The Wall is…. incredibly narratologically fucked up. To help orient me, I watch the bootleg concert recordings, and the trick with the surrogate band sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore.

This is where the two plot-lines converge. I don’t remember which came first, but around this same time, I think to myself “hey, if Genesis was hiding such an incredible album under the 80’s pop, what must Pink Floyd be hiding?” On that whim, I put on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which equally sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore. I needed to know what the fuck happened to get them from Piper to The Wall.

September-November: In the two months between the onset of this and finally making another sideblog, I dedicate all of my free time to learning as much about Pink Floyd as humanely possible (and writing a 20 page essay for that narrative theory class). As you can imagine, this is a lot to unpack all at once for someone who didn’t even know who Roger or Syd or any of the rest of them were. Luckily, I am over-educated enough to be a very fast learner. Aside from the band lore itself, I of course also fall in love with the rest of Pink Floyd's discography musically-speaking. Having this interest to latch onto genuinely pulls me out of my depression.

Cut to February 2024: I am really enjoying myself, and want to keep this going as long as possible, but I am starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel on Pink Floyd lore. I decide I need to feed the fire by supplementing with lore from another band. The Beatles seem to have a strong fan presence on tumblr, why not revisit a childhood favorite? The universe laughs at my expense.

That about brings us up to date. I have gone through so much character development over the last eight months, it’s crazy. Pink Floyd is definitely one of those things that is less of a “phase” and more of a permanent part of my mindscape. Weirdly enough, since I am studying media psychology, all of this has also been really good for my career? I never took an interest in -real- media figures (as opposed to fictional characters) before, and I feel like I have a much clearer sense of things now. It's definitely influenced my research, so whatever domino effect this has on my future is bound to get even funnier.

Anyway, that’s my backstory!

[vera-yaps]

🥀🖤Zero Day Headcanons🖤🥀

*i dont condone nor romanticize them or their actions i just love the movie!*

🖤🥀Cal tries to get andre to listen to Pavement, Andre calls him a fag for it but the next time he’s out with his parents at the mall, he just may swing by that one record store, the one that smells like rubber and use some of his pizza place paycheck to get one of their albums—the same one Cal showed him. he’d never admit it though.

🖤🥀They are so fucking homophobic/misogynistic im sorry yall😭Like andre i’d imagine more outwardly than cal, to me andre’s the type to say someth like a date🍇/aids joke or some shit and if Rachel’s in vicinity, she’d side eye cal to say something but of course the fucker doesnt. But if it’s just rachel and cal i feel like he may slip up and make some off color remarks but over all wouldnt call women bitches/etc the way andre would (and literally does in the movie)

🖤🥀To me (i dont think this is a very hot take) their part of new stratford is very conservative. it’s not like gun toting bible thumpers conservative but the area is relatively small and spreads fast—When Cal got caught smoking weed it wasnt scandalous but you did hear people saying that pam and steve’s son a few blocks down got busted hanging with druggies or something.

🖤🥀It also makes the queer interpretation more realistic to me. if we’re looking at it from that angle, those two are repressed and they are repressed bad. Like i dont have any particular sexuality headcanons for either of them simply bc they never got to officially figure it out. those feelings were so there for each other. Flat out. they just never got the chance to figure out what their identities were.

🥀🖤that being said my god those two were so pathetic for each other.

🥀🖤They met 1994 in sixth grade civics class

🥀🖤the teacher paired them for an ice breaker activity and they just sorta never left each other

🥀🖤honestly i feel like they developed feelings for each other on a subconscious level way closer to the events of Zero Day

🥀🖤Andre just couldn’t get Cal out of his head

🥀🖤like mf was simpin

🥀🖤Andre never found the need to make genuine friends. he was involved with the science club, the track team, he contributed to the school newspaper, and he was good at what he did, don’t get it twisted.

🥀🖤Like people paint andre to be super outwardly hateful and openly bullying his peers. but like to an extent i think he was liked. not necessarily popular and not as well recieved as cal, but like according to the website they both had relatively extensive-ish friendgroups

🥀🖤but the only person he’s ever considered a close person to him was cal, so he figured it was just that.

🥀🖤having a super close best friend makes you think about him all the time, makes you memorize his band shirts and typical outfits, makes you get all pink when he pays any kind of overt attention to you whatsoever. nothing out of the ordinary.

🥀🖤As for Cal I feel like he starts feeling that way alot sooner than andre does, but hes just as if not more repressed than he is.

🥀🖤Like i could go on about how cal is horrifically mischaracterized by the fandom but thats another post for another day. but like ppl think he’d be extremely open and okay with his sexuality/be a sassy twink? which like tbh i dont see at all

🥀🖤this dude comes from a religious background in the late 90’s/early aughts. like blud would be so repressed its not even funny

🥀🖤he just doesnt feel like anybody else could understand the kind of hate he had under wraps

🥀🖤But andre did.

[catofadifferentcolor]

The Silmarillion

And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.

I first read The Hobbit in sixth grade. It had long been one of my mother's favorites, and the fact she delayed so long in giving it to me to read was almost certainly so I could appreciate it fully the first time I read it.

I very clearly remember reading The Lord of the Rings the year after, but can't quite put my finger on when I first read The Silmarillion. It must have been early in HS, perhaps even in eighth grade, but I have no clear memory of the event. Which is odd because in many ways I like The Silmarillion best of all Tolkien's works.

Do I have to keep family trees handy to keep track of all the names? Yes. But does it speak to the deep-seated need in me to read and create fiction that feels as real - or more real - than life? Yes. A million times yes.

The Ainulindalë is a piece of world-building so beautiful and perfect that I'm not entirely sure I can conceive anymore a world being created in myth or fiction that isn't sung into existence. I'm horrible with lyrics and instruments, but would spend every hour of every day surrounded by music if I could and I feel the Music of the Ainur in a way I can't fully describe.

Even if I have very strong feelings about how, if everything has it's "utmost source" in Eru Ilúvatar and all has been imagined and perceived by him, then even Melkor's rebellion is part of his design. Therefore evil is part of the godhead as much as good, and that morality is impossible in paradise, and that doing good is meaningless unless the possibility to do evil is present.

I also get strong echos of gnosticism from the Ainulindalë that I doubt Tolkien intended, staunch catholic that he was, but *shrug*.

The Valaquenta is also fascinating, if primarily for how Tolkien chose to divide, assign, and pair the powers. (Though I ask: how can gods have sex and/or gender before the ability to take physical form exists? If Elves are closer to the Valar than any other, does this mean their concept of sex and/or gender always reflects the body that they are born with? Or their body changes to reflect their spirit? Or that I'm reading too much into things?)

The Quenta Silmarillion is, of course, a masterpiece. Entirely too many names for one person to keep straight and almost impossible to understand without a map and an elvish dictionary at hand - and yet a masterpiece. There's much to be said about the sheer amount of work and thought that went into every page, but then I don't get to scream about how extra it is Fëanor burst into flame rather than die of his injuries, or how maybe he whole point of Morgoth isn't evil can speak fair words and still be evil or evil can be defeated but without Morgoth to strive against, the works of the elves and Valar are meaningless, or wonder if it's possible for elves to suffer from inbreeding, because the family trees of the important elves are so interwoven as to make me concerned.

Also, am I the only one who finds Melian and Thingol's love story disturbing? Especially as the whole man stumbles across a woman in the woods and falls in love with her instantly is the archetype for true love in LotR. Setting aside the fact that he was a king who should have had more care for his duties, there's something bizarre about love arising from two people standing and staring at each other silently for years beyond measure. That's not love to me. You can't have love without knowing something about a person - and that involves talking and time.

That said, I did not go into this reread expecting to come out shipping Fingon and Maedhros, but here I am. (Call it any kind of love you wish, but Fingon deciding to strike out and save his cousin on his own the moment he learns what happened to him is love. Foolhardy, perhaps, but love. Better than the we stare at each other without ever saying a word, forsaking all duties, and rarely listen to each other when we are married trope that all of the canon ships seem to fall into.)

The story of Beren and Luthien is entirely too extra, as always. I love it. Finrod's rap battle with Sauron before dying in the dungeons of the castle he built is epic. Luthien in general is epic as well, though I wonder if all of Middle Earth might not have been better served if, instead of stealing a Simaril, Beren had bothered to stab Morgoth while he was sleeping instead. (I'm torn between being glad the pair found each other and found happiness, and thinking they went about things incredibly selfishly. As much as I love the idea of sacrificing everything for love, the reality is people have duties and responsibilities and abandoning those is rarely noble.)

Fingolfin's duel with Morgoth is just as epic. It's brave and foolish and exactly the sort of thing I'd expect someone in his situation to do, even if tactically it probably is the worst thing he could do.

And don't even get me started on Fingon's death. Maedhros tried so hard to unify the people against their common foe, but there was too much hate between them and ultimately he was betrayed... and a part of me can't help but wonder if his father just hadn't burned the ships, there would have been enough trust between them to win the day. The Oath really kept coming back to bite them, but it seems like even when they tried to fight against it they failed. So that they achieved as much good as they did despite it is really quite something. (Maedhros' death and Maglor's choice to wander the coast forever hit me right in the feels.)

I've also strong feelings about Turin - mainly the dude wasn't doomed by the narrative, he doomed himself and the narrative only stepped up when he ran out of things to destroy on his own - and Maeglin - in that I got a Tom Riddle vibe from him, and can't help but wonder if his cousin hadn't been suspicious of him from day one if things wouldn't have ended better for all of Gondolin. And Haleth for the 3 pages she shows up is A+; no notes, keep doing what you do.

The whole story of Numenor was brilliant. The whole story of Ar-Pharazôn is so very human that it burns, because Sauron really didn't have to reach hard to twist things his way. Is leading a war against the gods insanely arrogant? Perhaps, but it's so very understandable. And the way all the rest of the Second and Third age is tacked on to the end, with the evens of LotR covered briefly in 2.5 pages? Such a power move.

...frankly the influences of Tolkien's experience in WWI drips from the pages. A helpless, hopeless - maybe even pointless - war. Death - valiant and brave, desperate and gasping - is everywhere, even the best people inadvertently fall to evil in grief or greed, and hope is rarely futile, though often a long time in bearing fruit.

All in all: I love the book, even if keeping The Atlas of Middle-Earth and some printed family trees on hand is a must. I'm still not sure I believe the Simarils were worth all the trouble, but there is something to be said about fighting against an impossible evil. Perhaps it was foolhardy, but at least they fought. The Valar didn't even bother to do that until their backs were against the wall. It's inspirational and depressing and perfect in a way that so many things which try to hit the largest possible target audience rarely are.

Is it a perfect book? No. I've serious questions about some of the grand romances being grand or romantic. And I could probably write an essay on how uncomfortable I am with white and light and beauty being tied to goodness while "evil" races are dark and ugly - and often evil for no reason other than Morgoth got to them first. And yet it is a brilliant book, entirely worthy of standing beside or even replacing some RL mythologies, and I will definitely reread in the future. 5 out of 5 stars.

[cultofdionysusnet]

⅃M - ɘdiꙅ qi|Ꮈ ɘʜƚ ᴎo u ɘɘꙄ

Imagine a world in which all your favorite tropes have been turned topsy turvy. Where once the bad boy only likes you is now the nice guy only hates you. You are confused but play along because everyone loves a good trope, right? Come play in our new event where everything is reversed and have a giggle while you do so.

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Masterlist: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊First Submission by Jackie @mint-yooxgi: That Kids, Is How I Met Your Father (Seonghwa, Ateez) Prompt Chosen~ Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss

Summary: You seem to have the most rotten luck when it comes to chatting up strangers... and asking them for help...

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Second Submission by Anya @anyamaris: Twisted Fate (Soobin, Txt) Prompt Chosen~ soulmates who are fated to kill each other

Summary: A character in your writing calls to you and you can't help but wish him into reality.

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Third Submission by Daaeun @daddyfordaeddy: Do it like me (Hongjoong, Ateez) Prompt Chosen~ good guy/ bad girl

Summary: You want to have some fun with Hongjoong in the (almost) empty library

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Forth Submission by Jasper @starlitmark: What They Don't See (Seonghwa, Ateez) Prompt Chosen~ no one believes they're dating

Summary: Sooner or later, your friend will have to admit that you and Seonghwa are dating… most likely later, considering they still don’t believe you.

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Fifth Submission by Holy @holybibly: Too Fucking Hot to Deal (Wooyoung, Ateez) Prompt Chosen~ too hot to cuddle

Summary: When the summer heat hits the city, all you want to do is lie around under the air conditioning and do nothing. But your step-brother's best friend is showing you a whole new way to beat the hell out of the heat. Too hot to cuddle, but great to fuck.

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Sixth Submission by Topaz @sanjoongie: Grumpily Ever After (Hongjoong, Ateez) Prompt Chosen~ true hate's kiss

Summary: when you're cursed with the hanahaki curse, your only discourse is to search out King Jongho and to get a kiss from him to cure yourself. But when a certain master of spies sticks his nose in your business, life is suddenly a lot more harder

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Seventh Submission by Queenie @wooyoungqueen: True Hate Kiss (I.N, Stray Kids) Prompt Chose~ true hate's kiss

Summary: I.N popular boy in the academy everyone feared him but one night he was turned into a toad, due to a young witch practicing her magic  until Lee Know saw and picked up I.N finding out who turned him into a toad. A witch appeared saying only a hate kiss will break the curse. Not the kiss of love but a hate kiss of his mortal enemy. 

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Eighth Submission by Rie @pyeonghongrie Anything You Could Do, I Could Do Better (Ateez, Hongjoong) Prompt Chose~ Reverse Academic Rivals

Summary: You and your academic rival do what academic rivals do, trying to one-up each other in grades. But the thing is, both of you are teachers.

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Ninth Submission by Orion @nebulousbrainsoup Romantically (Stray Kids, Jisung) Prompt Chose~ Impulse Marriage

Summary: After your most recent subpar date, you're ready to swear off dating altogether. So, it seems, is your roommate. When you throw out a half-joking suggestion, the afternoon takes a surprising turn for the better.

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Tenth Submission by Bro @bro-atz what we do to boys who are on the run (Ateez, Mingi) Prompt Chose- accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss

Summary: you just so happened to kidnap the wrong man, and you chose the worst possible one to kidnap.

: 𓏲🐋 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔ 🌊Eleventh Submission by Sar @kpop-stories-21 Down In Flames (Ateez, Mingi) Prompt Chose- soulmates who are fated to kill each other

Summary: The wielders of Light and Dark magyk have been at war for countless years. Many skilled Mages on both sides have fallen to the ages-old conflict. But now, a cruel twist of fate could spell a terrible end for both sides.

[lieslab]

Hold up, you've been to camp? Wait. I have a request but only if you can. I don't know if you've gotten a request like this before. Skz Code? Can you tell us what camp was like now and when you can can you write a Skz Code with a 9th member where they're at like a summery camp and filming a Skz Code.

Something happens to the 9th member mid-filming and it gets really warm because they accidentally got injured? Only if you're up for it tho. No pressure! I've never gone to any camping thing but I wanna know what it's like. People say its fun

I have. Like quite literally a decade-ish ago. I've received 9th member requests, but nothing about writing an actual SKZ Code video. I think you have a genius idea. You're going to make me dig up ancient memories that haven't been unearthed in a while.

There were a lot of parts I hated and some parts I liked. There's a lot I could do with this idea and that makes it SO much more exciting. We did quite a few things. I can definitely talk about it to give you more of an idea of what it was like. This is going to be a long post because we all know how I feel about rambling:

My camping trip, since it was a week-long school event, was a very summer camp type beat. I believe it actually was a summer camp in the summer and they opened it up for schools to have field trips throughout the year.

It was the entire sixth grade, so imagine a bunch of eleven-year-olds going ham. I believe there were about sixty or seventy of us. I wish I could remember the exact season we went. I believe it was October and early fall. It was definitely still warm out, but we had days that were a little cooler. We all collected ourselves onto school busses on a random sunny morning. Packed with sleeping bags, everything we needed clothes/toiletry wise, and absolutely no gaming devices (tragic, I know)

We traveled the bumpy roads with a lot of nerves and excitement. I think it was a Monday and we came back on a Friday afternoon, exhausted. The camp itself was multiple acres of land that was slathered with a bunch of towering maple/oak trees. Think of a forest with multiple walking paths cut through it.

We were separated into gendered cabins into groups of 6-8 kids and sent on our way. We didn't get to choose if we were with our friends or not. I believe the teachers just took notice of who hung out with who and who sat with who at lunch. They took that and ran with it. I was fortunate enough to be with people I liked.

Every day had at least one major "fun" event. It was fun depending on what you like a disliked. I kid you not, one day they made us dress up and jeans/flannels. It was very cowboy/cowgirlesque. They put us all in a large gymnasium and taught us how to line dance with a live band.

I absolutely hated it. Eleven-year-olds have no coordination. My poor feet were smashed by cowboy boots multiple times. Other times, we had to hold hands with people and spin around. We were directed to change our partners every time. So we were forced to hold hands with classmates, even if we disliked them. A lot of people were using it as a chance to dance with their crushes (drama absolutely ensued)

It was quite silly. If you were okay with touching people and dancing, it was fine. The introverts and germaphobes (me) were not having a great time. They wouldn't let us get out of it, so we were forced to participate, unless we were injured or sick.

We were up at the crack of dawn. I think it was like seven every morning, we met at a flagpole and raised an American flag. Every evening, we gathered around and lowered it. If it rained, it didn't matter. It was very American (If you're not American and you hear rumors that Americans take their flag stuff seriously, some really do)

Since it was a summer camp vibe, we were all in log cabins (thank fuck) We would line up for breakfast. There were three meals a day and we weren't allowed to waste any food. Everything was buffet style, so you'd get up and get what you wanted.

If you had any food on your plate, you were forced to eat it, or someone else had to eat it for you. They took it so incredibly seriously, it terrified me. One day, I got a banana and when I opened it up, it was super bruised, brown, and mushy on the inside. I didn't want to eat it and the staff told me I had to.

Thank god for some kid that sat next to me. He offered to eat it and I let him (sorry dude 🥲) Now that I think about it, there are some questionable things that happened. If you had a birthday during that time, you had to go up on stage in front of all the teachers, camp staff, counselors, and all your fellow students eating their dinner.

A bunch of teachers and staff stood at the front of the stage with their arms out. Kids would tuck their arms, lean forward, and fall into their open arms. Another teacher or staff member would be holding an actual wooden paddle right above their ass, higher in the air. They'd throw them into the air like eleven or twelve times, depending on what age they were turning and they would "get a paddling" as they called it. It was embarrassing to watch and some of the kids were mortified. I'm so thankful my birthday didn't fall in that time period.

Anyway, some of the more exciting stuff: carving pumpkins with our cabins for a pumpkin carving competition. We got to plan everything out and take turns carving a large pumpkin. Fishing for fish with hot dogs as bait. It was an early cloudy morning and warmer weather. A lot of us didn't catch fish, but a few rare kids did. There was a lot of excitement to see who pulled up what fish.

Archery!! I used to be in an archery club at the school for a few years, so that was probably one of my favorite things we did at the camp. We shot at large stacks of straw bales that were painted with targets. The ego that grew after successfully hitting the target when kids couldn't shoot straight, it made a lot of us feel like Katniss Everdeen.

A lot of our days were like multiple different classes, like school, but think more educational, wilderness/camp themed and way more hands-on. One day, we were in a creepy crawly class learning about bugs. They actually let a few brave kids put hissing cockroaches on their faces (I couldn't look at them the same after that)

In another class, it was themed around snakes and amphibians. Kids were able to touch and hold snakes and smaller frogs. They had a large turtle we could interact with (it made a girl in my cabin burst into tears? I still question the reasoning a decade later) It was super neat, depending on if you liked those animals.

Another animal class was a lot more exciting for me. It was more furry/fluffy/holdable creatures. A hedgehog, ferrets, and a few more smaller animals. We learned about them, how to handle them, their diets, why they mattered in specific environments, etc.

For each activity, a girls' cabin was paired with a boys' cabin, so there were roughly almost twenty of us in each class, counting our cabin counselors. It formed a lot of bonds and friendships, despite some of the things that sucked.

One morning, they gave us each a handheld mini gps. We were led to the middle of the woods and the staff members left. We had to figure out how to get out of the woods with those gps. A lot of us didn't pay attention to the lesson we were given. We were lost numerous times. If I remember right, I think the staff had to come find my group because we ended up deeper in the woods and in the wrong direction. Whoops 😅

They had canoeing and that was the day I found out I can't canoe. Don't put me in a boat. They said this is how you paddle. I could not paddle. I tried, but alas, nothing happened, besides the boat slowly spinning in a circle. The girl I was paired with, she thought we were going to drown and nearly tipped the canoe multiple times. Neither of us could swim. They put us all in life vests and said good luck guys!! 🫡

We had to be rescued by two fellow students in another canoe. For the rest of the year, they constantly called the two of us damsels in distress. It was humiliating. Never again. Don't ask me to canoe. You're basically asking me to die 😭

Another afternoon, they put us in multiple lines and went after us with yellow and blue face paint. They smeared lines of paint beneath our eyes, like football players, so we couldn't cheat at the game. They ushered us onto a field and let us play capture the flag for two hours. It was exhilarating.

Friends became enemies. Enemies became friends. Staff members watched us all mock and ridicule one another. For them, it was probably a hoot. For us, it was so serious. Capture the flag was always SO serious for us. We played it all the time in gym class, so when they gave us a huge field, face paint, and said have fun; it was incredibly memorable.

I hated quite a bit of it, but it had some good moments. I guess I can't complain too much because I still love some of the memories. Plus, like I said in a previous post, I did meet my best friend there on bonfire night. We sat on wet bleachers (we were already wet from rain) and they lit up a fire and said ooooohhhhhh these woods are haunted. ooga booga. how scary!! Are you all afraid? (we were wet, tired, and cold. It was only ever haunted by the ungodly amount of body odor from preteens)

The rest is pretty much history.

You have the right idea. I can incorporate so many small moments from my memories into a drabble. The Stray Kids members are just as lively and playful. I'm sure in a real camp, they'd probably have fun.

Minho talks about his admiration for camping and fishing quite a few times. It'd be so funny if they made him a camp counselor and let him be in charge of everything. We've already seen them put up tents and cook in different videos.

I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun writing it. You'll probably have an even better time reading it. I'll do my best to capture their humor. I'll put it in my stack.

Hopefully by the time it's out, maybe we'll have another actual Skz Code video for us to watch <3

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

JR: I want to start with kindness. So much of your writing is centered around it, including how many of us struggle with it. Why is kindness important to you?

GS: One of the first images I received of Jesus was this idea of somebody who was so aware of where he was and so selfless that he could intuit what was needed in a given situation to make it better. When I was younger, it hit me that that would be a superpower if I could do that.

Then I got drafted into doing my daughter's sixth grade graduation speech. And I thought, Well, what do I really know as an old fart? It was not much, actually. Except when I scanned back over my life, I had a couple of regrets. They almost all had to do with not being kind enough, which for me often meant being preoccupied with something else or being anxious or being too insecure to step up and do what somewhere in my body I knew was right.

I shared that with the sixth graders, and a few years later gave a version of that to the Syracuse group. At that point, I wouldn't have said that I was that interested in kindness. But you make a speech like that and it gets attention. Suddenly you're The Kindness Person.

For me, it's the practice of trying to believe that the person on the other side is just as real as you are. You happen to be seeing things through these eyes. But theoretically, you could flip around and see them through the other person's eyes, and it would be the same universe.

That has a lot of moral implications, but it also has aesthetic implications. Meaning that story is like a snow globe that you can walk around and go, “Oh, if I imagined these events from this point of view, it would look like this. If I change the perspective, it looks like that.” In the end, the holographic view of the story would be infused with total compassion because you'd know every angle and they would all seem completely reasonable.

JR: Speaking of the snow globe: So many of your characters are trying to be and do good. And it’s really complicated. What feels like doing good in one moment can change in the next based on something as simple as the character walks into a different room. Or we move into another character’s equally convincing POV that opposes or contradicts the one we were just immersed in. Is good something concrete and definable? Is there an Ultimate Truth to life?

GS: When you say, “Here's the situation,” and the reader goes, “Oh, yeah, I get it.” And then you switch, whether it's in that perspective or in another one, there's that moment of disorientation where the reader goes, “Okay, I thought there was just one truth. Now there's at least two. Might there be even more?” This is something I really love about Chekhov: you keep waiting for him to weigh in, to put his finger on the scales, but he doesn't. He's really good at making eight or four or whatever different equally weighted scales.

The ultimate moral work of fiction is to show us how quickly and facilely we judge. Then, if it's a good one, the story teaches you that you can keep several ideas going at once. You can even have several simultaneous moral judgments going at once. To me, that's the highest form of it....

GS:

Kindness doesn't mean niceness. Ultimately, I think it means realism. I always use the example of somebody goes into a coffee shop, and the barista has been crying. Okay, what's the kind thing to do? Well, we don't actually know, because I didn't give you enough information. Even when you're standing there, you don't have enough information. Then it becomes a referendum on how might one decide? And that has something to do with what's going on in your mind before you walk into a coffee shop. If you're thinking I'm such a great, generous teacher of kindness, and then that person is the crying, you’re going to leap in whether you should or not.

I think there's a natural beneficence that rises in us, but the problem is, we don't always know the truth of that situation. A lot of what we think is the truth is our mind supplying some bullshit and we react to that rather than the actual situation. So to be kind might be exactly equal to being so quiet minded that you see clearly, and then your natural goodness will just rise up. But that's all theory.

JR: So beautifully put. One of the biggest complications is that one crying barista might want her tears acknowledged, and the other one might want them ignored.

GS: That’s exactly right. I was walking through O'Hare a couple months ago, and I saw a young woman coming the other way just weeping. I thought, I could either be the obnoxious old guy interfering in a private moment. Or she might be on the very edge where somebody's got to say something to her. I couldn't tell.

That’s where I think it’s good to look at your preset. Why do I want to rush over to her and reassure her? We each have a sort of ambient preset – for me, it’s a mild saviour complex – that might interfere with what the actual moment is telling us. In other words, I was in a particular place when I saw her. And maybe that was a good impulse. Or maybe it wasn't. It’s literally that beautiful phrase, my heart went out to her. So that's an ongoing truth--and that's just somebody walking by in an airport. But what to DO about it? That’s the question. So this leads us to the question of awareness, and of how fully the dataset that is “this moment” is coming through to us.

https://janeratcliffe.substack.com/.../the-kindness...

[thanks Rebecca Solnit]

[bookaddict24-7]

Reviews of the Week!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

___

76. The Haunted Mask by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️⭐️

A fun little spooky read for kids who are sick and tired of always being the butt of every joke. THE HAUNTED MASK was one of those episodes of GOOSEBUMPS that I remember really being creeped out by back in the day.

As I read this book, I could imagine the scenes from that episode as the MC started to realize how dire her situation was.

These books may not be award winners, but I do enjoy that they have life lessons thrown in there with the creeptastic fun!

___

77. Different Kinds of Fruit by Kyle Lukoff--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

DIFFERENT KINDS OF FRUIT was such a pure joy to read. Yes, there were instances where I thought the story was going to go one way, but it went in a direction that genuinely had me saying "whattttt" out loud.

I had a mother come into the bookstore I work at about a year ago looking for a specific kind of book. She told me that her middle grade daughter had come out to her and she was looking for sapphic books. She was surprised and overjoyed when she saw that there was a steadily growing collection of sapphic titles in the middle grade section. Her reaction and the fact that her daughter will be able to read a book with characters she can relate to is why I love seeing books like DIFFERENT KINDS OF FRUIT on our bookshelves.

This gem of a book follows a young girl as she learns who she is as she befriends the new student in her small town school. Her and her small class face several levels of discrimination and opposition when one of the parents vehemently fights against the "threat" of an LGBTQ+ event the kids want to put on and the progressive suggestions from the teacher regarding their sixth grade curriculum. Not only is this incredibly disheartening, it's painfully timely.

I loved the relationships in this, not just the friendship between the mc and her new friend. The parental relationships were incredible--sometimes even raw. There was just so much heart behind this book and I think it's a shame that it hasn't been hyped up more (if not for the representation, but for the relationships and connections alone.)

I think another important aspect of this book was the MC's journey to understanding who she is and who she wants to be. I wish younger me had a book with a character like her, because she was so honest and aware of what was happening around her. She fought alongside what she believed to be right and I think that while that is very clearly the sign of an adult writing a middle grade character, a younger reader may see her actions as that of a person that they might want to be like when they encounter similar or other levels of discrimination and abuse of power (adults wise).

This book offers a lot and I loved how educational it was and how it presented situations where it's okay to want to learn about a topic previously unknown to you, and how it might look when you see the different generations of the LGBTQ+ community and appreciating the different struggles and blockades the various generations faced.

I highly encourage you add this one to your TBR, you won't regret it!

___

78. When it All Syncs Up by Maya Ameyaw--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy via the publisher because I was the panel host for an event with the author. This did not affect my review at all.

WHEN IT ALL SYNCS UP was a beautiful portrayal of a young Black dancer who not only faces the difficult challenge of being a fantastically gifted dancer, but also the racism from her co-dancers, and the stresses of looking the "perfect" part and achieving it in a very dangerous way.

Aisha, the main character, is a girl who is living on the literal edge of her mental health. She decides she needs a change in her life when she is passed over another opportunity because of how she looks, and when a certain numbness crawls over her as the mounting stress threatens to overwhelm her. As a result, her new life change has her confronting some of the ghosts in her past, a best friend who wears his happy mask very well until he doesn't, and a gifted musician who may be the biggest support Aisha didn't know she needed.

I loved this one. From the descriptions of the gorgeous dances, to the emotional depth of all of these characters, I felt like I was watching Aisha dance through her character growth on the stage that was her book. I deeply enjoyed it, including the incredibly flawed and at-times dangerous relationships she has with a parent.

I think this book will be perfect for the teen bipoc readers who are either in dance themselves, or in an artistic field that has always catered to white people. I think it will also be a super important read for those with mental health concerns that want to see characters they might be able to relate to. I think this book is a beautiful reminder that you aren't as alone as you think and that sometimes, when done in a safe way, you just have to let yourself feel your emotions and the pain you're bottling inside.

___

79. The Werewolf of Fever Swamp by R.L. Stine--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm trying to read the GOOSEBUMPS I've collected so far and this one is probably one of my favourites so far. I enjoyed the little twists and that ending! This one also felt more atmospheric and other books I've read in this series.

It was a simple read, but it was fun!

___

80. The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

If I were to simplify this, I would say that THE SUNBEARER TRIALS is like an LGBTQ+ HUNGER GAMES. If I weren't going to simplify it, I would say that this book is:

Incredible. This book is an adventure filled romp of a good ass time. There's tension, mystery, danger, and friendship so strong that it'll put hair on your chest. I'm kidding, but seriously, the MC's relationship with his best friend was so freaking pure. Even though they were put in a situation where one of them could die, they didn't even THINK about screwing the other over. It was such a pure thing that it was honestly one of my favourite things in this book.

Another thing was the tension between the MC and his ex-friend/obvious love interest. I love how Thomas handled their relationship and the slow build up of the trust that was broken years before. Watching them rebuild that connection was a joy, even if it was full of moments where I wanted to strangle one or the other for being so oblivious. I also appreciated the realistic idea of how one relationship is treated alongside this budding rebuild of an old and broken relationship.

Full of some pretty cool moments, a badass MC who is strong af in character, and a really neat world full of Spanish words that had my Latina heart giggling with joy, THE SUNBEARER TRIALS is a great adventure for those who already loved CEMETERY BOYS. Jump in and enjoy! I immediately need the sequel.....

___

81. Ghost 19 by Simone St. James--⭐️⭐️.5

I really enjoyed other works by this author but was surprised to find that this one was just...okay? I don't know if it's because it's so short, or if it started in such a chaotic way that it didn't have the most likely intended effect of making me feel intrigued. Instead, it left me feeling confused and disoriented (although in writing this review, perhaps that was the intention?)

I did enjoy the atmospheric tension of horror and the heartbreaking ending, but I think I just wish this was longer. I would have loved to see the build up of terror in more than just a bite sized portion.

Also, this is set in the past, so some of the decisions this mc has made in her life is seen as morally questionable. This, I think, makes her character incredibly unreliable--and I actually LOVE that, but again, not enough of a build up for us to question her reliability.

Read this if you want a bite-sized bit of terror or if you need a quick read in October!

___

Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

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Happy reading!

[maddie-grove]

I really want to reread Trial by Journal by Kate Klise (2001), a middle-grade scrapbook novel about a sixth grader who is made to serve as a juror in a sequestered murder trial where the victim is her missing-presumed-dead classmate (because the State of Missouri has passed a law saying that trials for crimes concerning a child victim need to have a child juror), for the following reasons:

As a kid, I was like “okay, sure, obviously that law would probably not be passed but it’s possible.” And now, as an adult and a lawyer, I’m like could you IMAGINE.

The book is whimsical in a lot of ways—almost everyone has punny animal-based names, and there are plot points such as “the heroine befriends a flamboyant reclusive former Old Hollywood star” and “art fraud involving a gorilla”—but the premise is that a child has apparently been murdered and his family/friends/community are devastated, and also that the main suspect is not getting a fair trial because he is desperately poor and mentally disabled. In my memory, Klise pulled it off, but that’s a wild combo.

I’m really interested to see how the current events of the 1990s/very early 2000s influenced the book. Rhett Tyle is obviously kind of pre-politics Trump, right?

[naradluffy]

Day 1/30: 10 random things fact about you

I love reading non fiction after I got married. i wonder why. It seems I am becoming an adult? I can't imagine something anymore, so, fiction book is hard to be empathized anymore.

I have traveled to Japan in 2015 with only 500 USD (include the plane, hotels, food, transport).

In 2006, my sister was the one who chose Computer Science for my major and I was willing to study because I wanted to create an adventure game. Now it is 2024. I don't chase that dream anymore.

I have a collection of One Piece physical comics from 1-60.

I played volley ball when I was in sixth grade.

I played drum when I was in college and had two performances. We covered some rock bands.

I tried 5 KM running event twice. I can't imagine it now.

My favorite book right now is Atomic Habit. In the past, I also loved some fiction books like Sophie's World, Harry Potter, Indonesian literatures, and Manga.

I've traveled to Yogyakarta for the first time with my sister. She was late and need to run for the train. After arriving, we ride motorcycle at 5 pm to go to Magelang (2-3 hours away, because we didn't know it is far away). The travel was so scary because the street lamp was not available in some streets. It was a scary experiment!

I love web design a lot! And writing.

[ledenews]

Bridgeport Students Committed to Avoiding Drugs

Students at Bridgeport Exempted Village School District have taken to heart the message of staying clean. Members of the Belmont County Schools Staying Clean Club lined up at the concession stand for a chicken sandwich lunch April 3. The club aims to prevent drug use among the youth of Belmont County through outreach and incentives in the schools. The club also drug tests members. It operates under the juvenile court and Belmont County Juvenile and Probate Judge Al Davies. Guidance Counselor Vicki Falcone said more than 80 Bridgeport High School students – over half – participate in the Staying Clean Club. Middle School Principal Anne Haverty Lawson said 118 out of her 160 sixth through eighth graders are also members. The lunches were provided by the Hall of Fame Café. The cost was $10 each. Students also got an ice cream treat afterward from Jack’s Snacks. Falcone said such rewards are made possible through funds raised by events such as the Belmont County Schools Staying Clean Car, Bike and Truck Show. “We couldn’t do this without the generous donations of our community,” Falcone said. She added the club has benefitted school districts across the county. “I’m not sure there’s another county that has a program like this,” she said. “With the direction of Belmont County Juvenile Court, Judge Davies and their support, this program would not be the great success it is today.” David Carter, probation officer with the Belmont County Juvenile Court and secretary and treasurer of the club, said the Mental Health and Recovery Board of Belmont Harrison and Monroe Counties has also provided grants for catered lunches in all of Belmont County’s schools. He said Bridgeport students have been enthusiastic. “It’s going really good at Bridgeport. We tested them three times this year. Their numbers I think go up every year,” Carter said. “Roughly half the high school kids that are eligible to join have joined, which is definitely very impressive, and of the middle school I’d say we’re over half.” Carter complimented the outreach efforts of Haverty Lawson in encouraging students to join. He said the club is proving effective. “We definitely are seeing less drug and alcohol cases in juvenile court. I think that’s a trend we’ve seen for the last several years and it continues,” he said. “We’re not looking to funnel cases to juvenile court,” Carter said. “We rarely have a positive screen result, but if we do the parents are notified, that’s it. Charges aren’t filed. The school isn’t notified, resource officers aren’t notified. It goes to the parents and however the family decides to deal with that is up to them.” Falcone agreed that the purpose of the program was not to “catch” students who are using drugs, but to provide positive reinforcement to stay clean as part of a preventative effort. “It gives them a reason if they go off to parties and if they’re around something they might get involved in they can say: ‘I can’t. I might get drug tested.’ It kind of gives them an easy out,” she said. Haverty Lawson said club membership arms students against peer pressure. “Having raised couple of boys myself, I always wanted my boys to have a manner of saying ‘no’ to people asking them to do things they knew were not right,” she said. “I think the Staying Clean Club would have been great for my boys. “I think the peer pressure is amped up to degrees I oftentimes can’t imagine, and I think it is an excellent manner in which our kids have the ability to say: ‘No.’” She said this helps students avoid other habits such as vaping and smoking. She added seventh and eighth grade participants receive free passes to all athletic events. “If you make positive choices, you will have a positive outcome,” she said. Bridgeport High School Principal Jack Fisher is also supportive of his high school students who have joined the club. "I am very proud of our students in the Staying Clean Club, both high school and middle school students. It's great for our kids to be a part of this group and I'm also very appreciative to the juvenile courts and Hall of Fame catering for providing lunch to our students. It's really great." Alexander, sixth grader, has been a member of the Staying Clean Club for one year. He said he enjoys the activities and is listening to the encouragement to stay off drugs. “It’s an opportunity for me to do something,” he said. “I like it.” Eighth grader Myzhara also believes in the club’s message. “I think it’s important to be sober and not get involved in those things, because they do have negative consequences. They can affect your health and people around you,” she said. “From you being sober and not getting into drugs or alcohol or making better decisions.” She recommends other students participate in the club and spoke about fun activities such as a trip to a bowling alley. During fall, the Bridgeport students joined those from across the county to listen to motivational speaker Derek Clark at the Capitol Theatre in Wheeling. Myzhara said students can encounter challenging situations. “If you’re around people who do those kind of things, you shouldn’t judge them. You never know what’s going on with a person. Unless they’re pushing you and peer pressuring you to do that stuff, get away from that,” she said, reflecting on the difficulty of watching someone harm themselves. “You can’t really change somebody’s decision about that. They have to do it themselves. They have to want to get off of it.” Additional information about the club can be found at belmontcountyssc.org. Read the full article

[crystal-in-nagasaki]

a new, even smaller school

As some of the senior ALTs finished up their contracts and headed home in August and the new ALTs were rolling into town, our coordinators shuffled some of the ALT school assignments around to accommodate the changes. Since two of the leaving ALTs had cars and none of the new ALTs could drive yet, some of the farther schools had to be given to the senior ALTs with cars (aka me.) So in addition to my junior high school, big elementary school, and small mountain school, I was given one more school, the smallest in the whole district.

While my other small school has just about 30 students spread between 6 grades, my new school has just 19. There are two students in first grade, two students in second grade, four students in third grade, four students in fourth grade, six students in fifth grade and just one student in sixth grade. Like my other school, the classes are usually combined for instruction, so grades one and two, three and four, and five and six are combined. That means there are only three homeroom teachers, so with myself, other support teachers, and administrators, the total staff in the school numbers about 11 people. Teachers at bigger schools often have drinking parties together, starting with 50-60 people and then breaking up into smaller groups to go to other bars for after parties, but the one drinking party I attended at my new small school was just a single table in a pub of about 8 people. It was really cozy and allowed me to befriend my colleagues a lot easier.

Life at my new school is pretty much the same as my other small school. All of the students are energetic and friendly, and since there's so few of them, it was easy to learn all of their names and interests quickly. One interesting thing about this school is that the students eat lunch together in one room instead of the classrooms since there are so few students. This way all of the students and teachers can chat and eat lunch together like a big family every day.

Being the smallest school in the district, it's also the farthest from town. It takes me about thirty minutes to drive there from my apartment, and about half of that trip is through a big valley between the mountains, passing by a huge dam called Kayaze Dam. Almost all of the students live far from town and the school, so many of them take the public bus to school and others are driven by family members.

It's very quiet and peaceful at this mountain school, and the view is beautiful. Most of the time when I ask my students to tell me the weather, no one can answer the question because they can't see the sky out the windows because of the lush greenery of the mountains in the foreground. Here's some pictures I took of the view from the teacher's room and from directly behind the school:

Lastly, this school is really special because all of the students play taiko drums! The school has its own set of over twenty drums, and a specialist comes in every week to work with the students. They often perform at community and school events like sports day and ALT visit day.

As you can imagine, I was very excited to see that I had this hobby in common with them, and got to practice with them once. But I was so surprised to find how skilled the students are, even those in lower elementary! I couldn't keep up with them. But I'm lucky that their practice day is the same as my visit day, so I get to listen to them practice each week.

Unfortunately I will only be at this school for one year since my contract will end this August, but I'm so grateful to work with such sweet kids in such a unique environment. I already have such a close bond with them and am sad to have to say goodbye in a few months.

Anyway, I'm glad to share my experiences with my new school here. I hope you enjoyed hearing a bit about it! Thanks for reading <3

[drdamiang]

DUCKED THE BULLET

DUCKED THE BULLET

We ducked a bullet big time. I was watching Grant Cohn and the Coach comductimg a post-Super Bowl discussipn anf both gentlemen were on top form and harmonizing on all frequencies. Then, talking about overtime and convinced that the Niners rather neglectfully and, given the stakes, somewhat idiotically, were presumimg that the overtime rules had not changed and thus the old rules which dictated sudden death victory for the team taking the ball first (which the Niners had elected to do, much to the total incomprehension of the Chiefs) if they scored a touchdown. Grant thought for a moment and then posed a hypothetical question: what if the Niners HAD scored a touchdown and thus believing the rule was sudden death in the event of a touchdown, started celebrating believing that they had won. Grant and the Coach raised this bizarre what if and just left it there.

I was thinking about this and believe that if it had happened two really terrible thinhs would have happened: the emotional shock of believing that they had done it only to be rudely awakened by officials spelling out in basic grade school English what the new rules wers saying may have been disastrous for some players. Their SuperBowl would have become a nightmare. Now they would have to defemd against Mahomes knowing that a TD from him plus a two point conversion, in what would have been the most monstrous reversal imaginable would give Kansas the victory.

But that is not the worst: far from it. Imagine the scene: the Niners go crazy with celebration: ww have our sixth Lombardi, the joy is irrepressible the whole explosion of ecstasy unstoppable. The monkey is off Kyle's back. Meanwhile the media and the rest of the world watching the game thinks the Niners have gone insane, pundits as confused as the millions watching are so baffled they think the Niners have lost it. Which of course we have. It would have taken ages to sort out before the game could be gotten back on track, and as a result:

1. The NFL would never forgive us, we had messed up a Super Bowl like no team ever before. They may try devious methods to make surs we never get to the SB again, and who could blame them?

2. It would bring the end of the great Niner legacy we would become a standing and a pariah. We would never live it down and never be allowed to live it down

3. We would become a tragic franchise. There but for the grace of God go I. A tale of hubris and a catastrophic fall from grace to end all catastrophic falls from Grace.

4. It would have, there and then, pretty much killed Brock Purdy's fairy tale trip to the SuperBowl.

[mariacallous]

The upcoming school year is expected to bring a surge of propaganda in Russia’s educational institutions, surpassing any previous period in modern history. Events, lectures, and ceremonies in support of the war are set to be combined with new, state-approved curricula, including a new “unified” history textbook for high schoolers that has a chapter on the invasion of Ukraine. Meduza reached out to readers in Russia who sent their kids back to school on September 1 and asked them to share their strategies for safeguarding their children against propaganda. We’re publishing some of the most interesting responses below.

Varvara, St. Petersburg

Mother of a three-year-old (kindergarten), an eight-year-old (second grade), an 11-year-old (fifth grade) and a 16-year-old (eleventh grade). 

Propaganda comes from the upper echelons. They force schools to have “Important Conversations,” flag-raising ceremonies, educational advisors, “Youth Army” groups… But these innovations are not welcomed amongst teachers or school directors and are treated with total disregard.

My children don’t go to “Important Conversations” lessons. I let them skip assemblies and any other events that will involve propaganda or glorification of the war. To avoid the issues with the new history syllabus, my kids decided not to pick history or social studies as options for the Unified State Exam. We decided instead to study 20th-century history at home, looking at different views on historical events and how our ancestors lived in that period.

Elena, Moscow

Mother of a 15-year-old (tenth grade) and a 17-year-old (eleventh grade)

I’m concerned but I’m not afraid [of the propaganda]. I have precocious and intelligent children. I believe that if, over the last year and a half of the war or perhaps even longer than that, a family has prioritized the right values and nurtured trusting relationships, then propaganda doesn’t need to be frightening at all.

Anastasia, Kolomna

Mother of a 10-year-old (fourth grade)

Propaganda in schools is unacceptable, and I try my best to fight it. Officially, your child doesn’t have to go to “Important Conversations” lessons — I am writing a letter to the director about it, providing references to current legislation, and saying that my child will arrive at school for the class after “Important Conversations.” 

We’ll study history at home using Tamara Eidelman’s lectures or Maxim Kats’s Youtube videos. I simply won’t let them turn our children into pawns for the Russian military. You can always come up with an excuse for not letting them attend classes — an urgent doctor’s appointment, for example.  

Daria, Kirov

Mother of a seven-year-old (first grade)

The authorities are cunning. No matter how hard you try at home to keep your kids away from propaganda, they will still absorb what they are told in school. And there will likely be children in the class whose parents support the war. This leaves other parents with very little hope of countering the propaganda.

I went to a meeting for parents in the spring and realized that I couldn’t send my children to that school. My husband and I decided to homeschool them. We enrolled our children in an online school, where there are no “Important Conversations” lessons — they’re just provided with real educational material. 

Yara, St. Petersburg

Mother of an 11-year-old (sixth grade)

Sooner or later, the war will end, and the entire period that my child spent at school will have been totally wasted. It’s scary to imagine what these “specially educated children” will grow up to be. In the best-case scenario, they’ll let the information go in one ear and out the other. But what if they take it in?

I took my child out of school at the start of the last academic year, which is totally legal. This year, we plan to do the same thing, and I’ll just edit her curriculum. 

Maria, Kaluga

Older sister of a 14-year-old (class unknown)

I don’t think propaganda will influence most students. The school has little to no authority over the children, and no one really pays much attention to the teacher’s opinion anyway. Most children studying history only go up to World War I, so very few will have to study the history of modern Russia. 

Alexey, Novosibirsk

Father of an eight-year-old (third grade) and a 10-year-old (fifth grade)

I don’t really see any point in introducing propaganda among schoolchildren. Where’s the benefit for the regime? Parents have much greater influence on a child than tedious “patriotic” lessons. As a rule, children gain an understanding of what’s going on via their home environment — this was the case with Soviet propaganda as well. 

Natalia, Moscow

Mother of an eight-year-old (second grade) and a 14-year-old (eighth grade)

Over the last year, there has only been one lesson where the “Special Military Operation” and Ukraine were discussed. Even then, the children were simply told: “The special military operation is underway. Our thoughts go out to the military. Let’s support them.” That’s all it was!

I don’t personally plan on doing anything because there isn’t any propaganda in our school. All the “Important Conversations” classes have been on very general topics, such as ecology, society, history, and literature. I don’t see anything particularly pernicious in this.

Alexandra, Petrozavodsk

Mother of a 10-year-old (third grade)

You have to talk to your child — without exaggeration, without distorting reality, and by selecting information that they are able to understand. My child is my friend, and we trust one another. 

Primary school is not as concerning as secondary school and high school, where children are required to take history exams on totally distorted information. I tell my daughter: if you see a man in military uniform, run! If they try to ask you about Putin or the war, respond: “I don’t know anything, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.” She attends “Important Conversations” regularly, and we discuss them together afterwards.  

Maria, Moscow

Mother of an 11-year-old (fifth grade)

In preparation for the sixth grade, we purchased an old textbook on the “History of the Fatherland” written by Alexander Preobrazhensky and Boris Rybakov, who is an archaeologist and studied Kievan Rus. We also got hold of some old children’s encyclopedias on history and geography.

Evgeniya, Krasnoyarsk

Mother of a 16-year-old (ninth grade)

Love for your home country can’t be imposed on you: you either have it or you don’t. Our country needs to learn how to admit when we’re wrong and speak the truth. We shouldn’t make ourselves out to be perfect all the time, or live by the conviction that “there’s my opinion and then there’s the wrong opinion”.

My son doesn’t go to “Important Conversations” lessons. He became one of those kids who is “perpetually sick”, who attends a bunch of clubs and always has family circumstances that excuse him from class. He doesn’t go to the various patriotic ceremonies, and communication with his homeroom teacher or the school administration is kept to the bare minimum. If he does get exposed to some form of propaganda, he just puts his headphones in and listens to music. About 90% of the class do the same.

Andrey, Moscow

Father of a 16-year-old (eleventh grade)

My son is very lucky. He studies at a boarding school where there are no “Important Conversations” lessons, no flag raising, and no national anthem singing. I don’t know how the school has managed this. 

Oleg, Moscow

Father of a 14-year-old (seventh grade)

I ask my child what they talked about at the “Important Conversations” lesson and then show him examples that contradict what was said and how the school is clearly gearing the kids up towards military service. I show films that force him to think about the world in a different way. 

Yekaterina, Moscow-Kirov

Older sister of an 11-year-old (fifth grade)

A child’s brain is incredibly malleable, so it’s important to devote a few minutes a day to these serious conversations. This way, as they grow, they’ll learn to question the words of others and trust the family more. They’ll also form their own opinions. The main thing is to do this carefully, without pressure — then school propaganda won’t become something scary. The hope I have for my sister is that when the time comes for her to study the history of the “special military operation,” the war will already be over and they’ll rewrite the textbooks back to the way they were before. 

Artem, Izhevsk

Father of a 17-year-old (eleventh grade)

My daughter understands that she’ll be fed information in school. She said she knows all this herself but worries that devoting time to this new information will take away from things that are more important to her. We’re focusing on passing the Unified State Exam and getting her into university.  

I told her I support her and said that it’s like a game where people just want to hear specific answers from you. You have to play by those rules even if it means switching off your own brain.

[yoselin-uyu]

Run, the Bennets are mad ...

Goblet of Fire AU - Third Task Forest

By @slytherincursebreaker

“Que carajo Charles ??!! Como demonios se te ocurre ofrecerte para esto !!”— said a quite mad joshua, she is terribly afraid of spiders but the idea of losing charlie for not facing her greatest fear is simply unacceptable

“You shouldn't have done that”— Joseph didn't even think about it when he found out that Mystine [from @liliahri] would be in there for him, once they were in a safe place he made sure that Mystine was all right, after that he didn't allow anyone to get close to her for a long time.