#i hope youve been okay!!
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also!! hiiiiiii alyssa :D hope you’ve been doing alright (besides with what’s happening-)
im alive!! been going thru some irl stuff (my homeroom teacher called me today. do you have any idea how stressful that was) and im convinced im going to hate myself on monday
the usual
#exam season is coming up too#yknow what that means#also im gonna be fasting the whole time so i apologize if i snap at anyone#chitchat#love.[yui]#what about you though??#i hope youve been okay!!
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Tumblr users try not to be funny challenge
@y2kbugs
#ooh flashbang youve been @ lmao#hope ya dont mind#tumblr#this just made me laugh my arse off#since ironically crustaceans are my least favourite arthropod SHSKQKXME#bugbrain#arthrobug#bugbrain bumblings#arthropod#crustacean#shrimp#yes i will tag like some kind of instagram donk shhhhhhhhhhhh be silent skrimblos i do what i wanttt#okay have a nice week lol
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Okay I just read Zayne's "Still in Dark" anecdote, and now I'm crying and also my jaW IS ON THE GROUND, WHAT IN THE FUC-
----
enjoy the tags, I just needed to vent....
And I'm scared 🤣
#hoooooly shit when i tell you i was confused about the timeline before ... ash.exe has officially stopped responding#semi spoiler alert/ me venting.... youve been warned#ARE WE NOT REAL IN HIS DIMENSION? Are we just pulling a freaking spongebob and showing up in his dreams?#im scared somebody hold me. im freaking crying cuz that was so sad but also SERIOUSLY WTFFFF IS GOING ON#love and deepspace#okay im done screaming im sorry#but seriously.... there is so much happening i dont know whats real and what isnt.#i wanted to think Tower of Secrets was just AU but now with the whole growing jasmine parallel and Linkon City being years in the past....?#ffs i need some theories cuz im just sending myself down a rabbit hole trying to decide what's going on#like what? am i just popping up in zaynes dreams to save him from loneliness while he helps me save the universe from getting access to my#and pops up in Raf's life to rescue him after losing everything while he also magically helps me save the universe from the aether's power#and Xai/Lumiere who's what... like 300+ years old somehow knows who i am?#WHO AM I? some dimension-jumping dream-hopping timeline-skipping superhuman with the core strength of 10000 suns and i don't even remember?#i need to read the rest of Xai's lore....#anyways welcome to the end of the tags. i hope you had fun. if you made it this far.... i am so sorry 🤣
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more of my wip hermit (+ joel) designs from a year? ago !!
you've seen the Doc on it's own, and i think?? instagram got all of these, but I can't remember if tumblr did so. here u are
there's a Martyn design along with these, but i don't have access to my files (this version happened to be saved to my phone) bc i. lost my old laptop when i moved, do not ask me how i did that, i ask myself that same question every day. um
#still leading an ongoing investigation into where the hell my laptop went#i honestly cant remember if ive talked about this here but drawing has been extremely difficult lately#tbh for a very long while now as youve noticed#im hoping to ease back into the swing of things with artfight#and then ill move on to the commissions that have been paused#hi hello if ur reading this. sorry. im immeasurably sorry#im not okay but im getting there#wahoo#see you all soon#fartofopossum#if i were to change anything about these rn id probably give scar elf ears#also none of these are in the same perspective or the same scale oopsies <3#bdoubleo100#goodtimeswithscar#grian#mumbo jumbo#docm77#ethoslab#xisumavoid#smallishbeans#hermitcraft
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if graham thought the used to be a man thing was just joking and like 5 minutes earlier she said she used to live in the outback for 123 years, he also definitely doesnt have ANY idea how old she is does he
#oh the fun they'll have in support group trying to figure out the doctor's age#graham sitting there just staring for the first 10 minutes like 'oh IMMORTAL immortal. like immortal? like. okay. uh huh. thats. okay.'#thats gotta rewrite like at least half your idea of a person right#im not convinced he or ryan really have an idea of what regeneration means#i think yaz a little more#but not like. really#and yaz was also so taken aback meeting ace and tegan like#other companions get that 'oh youve had lots of people like me' usually kinda early on#get their little jealousy moment#but they NEVER had that#like meeting all these old companions first already must be a bit of a........like rearrangement in your brain#like 'oh but if youre me. and you did this 40 YEARS ago. then uhhhh. the doctor is older than she looks'#and then someone drops a 'yeah when i knew them they said they were 700' and youre OH. OKAY.#like you thought you were travelling with just sort of a weird fucked up guy but then it turns out it's a weird fucked up guy#who has been doing this for longer than your country exists#12 voice: im old enough to be your messiah#fgkjghjkgh#like thats your bud! dfgkjhgjk thats just your fucked up little pal who cant drive what do you mEAN TWO THOUSAND#two THOUSAND years and you still drive THIS badly???#i hope clara comes to the support group some time#she could blow at least the fam's minds a little i think#she knew the last one!#she can provide CONTEXT#between missy and 12 she can provide some GREAT context#also bill i think bill + yaz would be FUN#like hoo boy#bill can fill them in on the master too#feel like missy definitely gets wind of it 'ive been up and down your timeline' and drops by. a couple of times#trying to pass herself off as a companion#doesnt work for super long mostly bc shes just there to Cause Problems On Purpose but it does work for a Bit
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me seeing my beloved bestie online:
me realizing it's almost 3am(?) for you:
(using your own edit against you hehe >:) ) i hope that you are doing well though!!!! <333333
AHSKJSKSHSKEHDKDJDKSHDKDJZJD dont worry abt it
#david cronenberg birthday + 4 chem assignments due later of course im up 🚬#I MISSED YOU SO MUCH YOU DONT EVEN KNOW........ I WONDER OFTEN HOW UR DOING I HOPE YOUVE BEEN OKAY ☹
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fanart for liebe labs (@sayah-66) couldnt decide what alias to draw so i just drew "the mascot" lul
i enjoy their (+ aliases) music
#artluli#not my oc#i think youre cool#i like “the youve been in suspension for” song a lot#same with “mothafucka” “fuckign trashfire” “reslard is my father”#them good stuff#wanna make music some day too and from listening to your first album when it came out thanks to yt recommendations and now#its cool to see how far youve come and i hope to one day be like that too#i hope youre doing okay and things work out#stay safe
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practicing gratitude about this past year tonight and it IS actually helping?? a lot????????? unbelievable
#things im really grateful for: moved out and away! to the other side of the country! for a new job (first job!!!!!) which was terrifying but#it's been FIVE months and ive genuinely never felt prouder of myself for making it through!!!!!#and even though there HAS been some really really Bad Brain Days this job has allowed me to meet so many interesting people#and it also has allowed me to have a better view of my future; to understand what i really want to do; and given me the boost i needed to#work extra hard to get into my masters program (asylum and immigration law!!!)#ive also became less of a people pleaser and learned to stood up for myself more; get more accomodations and opportunities without stopping#myself to get them bc i didnt deserve them or whatever#i did SO many scary things that felt like pulling my own teeth out but 95% of these things worked out okay in the end#i even got a new job opportunity!!!! i was OFFERED a job????!?!?!?!???! can you believe it????!?!?#GOT MY AUTISM DIAGNOSIS#came out to my therapist! said a lot of scary things to scary people but i did it SCARED. AND IT WORKED OUT#ive accomplished so many things this year and grown up and healed a lot. sure there were bad days but - overall?#im so grateful im alive. im so grateful i got to meet so many wonderful & lovely people#(if youve read all of this please know that i love YOU and also i hope hope HOPE you had a wonderful year; or if you didnt then that the#upcoming year will be nothing but kind and supportive to you! 🌱🎀💫)
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talking ask
whioa. talks to yopu back. haha
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im thinking again
#ive been dealt the bad hand; the worse hand; the hand from the arm from the body#im just.....okay#Well aaaa its weird#nothing anyone says to me is to *me*#which is fair-- no one knows me. but i do wish i got it. i dont know#the passing of time is still my worst enemy#i love everyone so much. itssssssweird.#if youre following these posts and saw the last one: i think i am still gonna die soon. awwh man. i dunno#but i have no reason to go on truthfully and i dont feel like finding one#im tired and sad OK?#i do want an acknowledgement again#and if you're following these posts im going to do the same thing i did last time and talk to the three tumblr blogs:#1. hi. i really like you. i admit it. j think youre really cool and all. uh okay im supposed to ask a question so here; how are you? well i#hope. k dont know. i havent been reading up like i should be and as for the second blog im talking to here i also havent been reading up lik#e i should im very sorry. i will make that journal again though.#and third blog: hi!! i still have no clue how to do that one thing but youve really gotten me into the hypothetical idea of differences base#f off of like ...area. the thing you said about that one thing.! i javwnt been doing much about it but thinkin but you know thinkin is fun.#i do want to do reading on it but ive been very sad lately and i cannot be bothered#this is really fun talking to people like this. um#youre very cool blog one ive been becoming a big fan of you again#blog two.if you see this: i want you-- I'm sayin that to specify that I'm talking to you. but i dont. anyway: uh. oh no i forgot what i was#gonna say#okay here's to not talking to anyone particular:#i want to do drugs. its the only way ill be able to handle all this.but i... oh hey i have melatonin!!#hmmmmmm#idk#it just puts me to sleep and i hate sleeping cause im always having bad dreams-- both nightmares and just dreams that Suck-- but...... im#desperate.#okay im gonna take a normal dose and just keep it together i hope#I hate sleeping
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(Little ramble/vent)
From the POV of a persecutor, what the FUCK was that ATLAS!?!?
#im gonna kill them next time i see them istg#im so glad finn told them to fuck off but its shit that theyre still taking the fall of all this#im not even sure if theyre the host anymore because thwyve barely been fronting the past 6 months#so what the fuck atlas youre just gonna take your time as host#and start dating someone elses alter then lie to finn and say that their partner knew??#and now youre just gonna hide away while finn has to face the consequences of your actions?#come out here and face them and fucking apologize i thought you were the fucking protector of the system? huh?#why are you letting finn take the blame for this shit? you were the fist alter other than them#youve been here since they were 5 they fucking ADMIRED you#and youre just gonna betray them and make them act like they did it???#they dont even like men tmwhqt the fuck??#i hope you show your stupid ass face soon because this isnt okay you need to live up for what you did#finn shouldnt have to feel guilty for you being a fucking traitor#they shouldnt have to live with your mistakes and lose their best fucking friend of 11 years#and half the new friends that theyve made this school year#because youre to petty and prideful to come face the fucking facts#so fuck you atlas#i really fucking hope you're happy...#✨️☄️Nova [any]#tw vent#idk#babble
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happy 2 year mutual-iversary this month !
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ damn time really flies
#(when [redacted irl context])#this is so cool tho very glad to have you as constant here settie#i hope youve been okay!#talk to chu#settie surprise
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I'm not going to tag this, just because I don't think it's worth drawing attention from main tags/clogging them, but my thanks to the 2.1 release, because this Trailblaze Quest has given me inspiration. (I hope the OG Aventurine enjoyers forgive me after this 😔 I'm sorry I hated your boy first I was just bitter about no Sampo </3)
Just a little quote that I've been enjoying thinking about, from an older (canonically and in real life) OC of mine.
"“Focus on fixing your own wings, little peacock,” [is her reply.] “When you finally learn to fly, you can remind this old canary what it feels like.”"
#celeste has been around since before star rail even release in real life#but when 2.1 released#the parallels i saw between her and aventurine#i couldn't not give them an interaction or three#this silly little ipc guy#years and years her junior#healing to her very core traumas#wild. hats off to the way they fucking wrote aventurine's pov.#the etymology is... you couldve not chosen a word like that for the planet name#dumbass ipc bastard packed to the brim with trauma#dont forget topaz though. she is also full of traumas. and just as gorgeous#do NOT forget my girl in this madness#okay logging off the blr for today#if youve scrolled down this far in the tags i love you and i hope you always have enough money for your favourite snacks#goodnight <3
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hey I just want you to know that if you're my mutual I love you. and whether youre my mutual or not you are valuable and special and I believe in you. and if you're having a hard time right now I just want to tell you you're loved and it will all get better and I know you can get through it.
my dms are always open to anyone who needs a friend. and if you know my discord, feel free to message me there anytime too. seriously, I mean it. I care about all of you even if we don't really know each other and I want you all to be okay and if there's any way I can help to make that happen I will absolutely do it.
#idk i just#saw someone going through it earlier#wasnt sure if theyd want me to reach out#so if thats you. hopefully you know who you are. i see you and i am here for you if you ever need me#youve been sweet and kind to me in every interaction weve had and i want to pay that kindness back however i can#and i hope youre okay and if you arent i hope you will be soon#okay thats all bye#keithposting#;
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Hi werner how you been doing??
hiii ditz im doing very well!!! drawing and eating and gaming a lot lately its all very nice :D
#sfw asks#mmm not much else going on i think#thats okay tho maybe soon#hope youve been doing well too!!!! miss all my mutuals very much again i Do have discord if anybody wants that <3
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