#i hope your thursday has been awesome so far!!

[inkykeiji]

clari can you tell us about your most favorite/romantic memory with your boyfriend?

oh my goshhhhh anon!!!! stop it you are making me so incredibly soft hahaha yes sure i can!! <3

so, basically, i hate my birthday. i’ve had a lot of really awful and traumatic things happen on and around my birthday over the years, so whenever the day comes i am miserable as hell. i really really hate it and usually spend (or spent) my birthday hiding under my covers away from everyone until it’s over.

my boyfriend knows this, of course. as such, he has made it his sole mission to make every single one of my birthdays for the rest of my life spectacular, and he calls it clari’s birthday bonanza (he’s such a dork <3).

my favourite one thus far has been the one he planned for my birthday in my second last year of university! i had such a fantastic day. he took me to the art gallery to start, because they had a van gogh + monet exhibition going on (!!!!!!), then to my absolute favourite ice cream place, then to my favourite diner (this is a tradition on my birthday) where i ate WAY too much and made myself sick and had to take a nap in the car after LMAO, and THEN he took me to see a film at my favourite specialty theatre in the city (there was a film festival going on, i am a film scholar, i love film). i look back on this day with such fondness and love and i wish i could relive it; no one has ever done anything like that for me!!

it’s genuinely so special and so thoughtful and so heartfelt that he tries his best to make my birthday a good day every year when it’s been a bad day for most of my life. it means the absolute world to me, and it speaks volumes about how much he loves and cares for me.

[a-little-unsteddie]

stuck in your throat || 1.3

1.1 | 1.2 | [here] | 1.4 | 1.5

part three!! this is all new babyyy! hope you enjoy <3 the next part will be out thursday <3 also: next part has steddie interactions weeeeee

When Robin got home an hour later, stumbling through the door and rambling at a hundred miles per hour, peeling off her coat and shoes, Steve could barely hold back from immediately breaking and telling Robin about the interview. He stared at her intently, almost shaking from excitement, as she hung up her coat. She turned towards him and cut herself off mid-sentence.

“Yes?” Robin asked, tilting her head to the side with raised eyebrows.

“I got a call from the NDA people, and we did the interview, and she said she’s gonna get back to me in a couple of days!” Steve exclaimed, eyes wide with excitement.

“Oh, shit, really?” Robin asked, rushing over to him with a grin. Steve bobbed his head in affirmation, Robin squealed and wrapped her arms around him, scenting him all over in her excitement. Steve laughed as she spun him around in a celebratory dance, just as he knew she would.

“That’s fucking awesome, Steve!” she exclaimed as she slowed them to a stop.

“Isn’t it? She said I was her top pick so far.” Steve barely got the sentence out before Robin was wrapping her arms back around him and shaking him.

“I told you!” she cheered, unable to fight the grin that was taking over her face that was causing her cheeks to ache. “Have you signed the NDA yet?” she asked curiously once they were still again.

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’, “she said she’d send it if I move on to the next step.”

Robin hummed as she led them into the living room, needing to sit down. Her body was aching, from more than just the long day at work. “They’d be stupid not to choose you,” she said in a tone that held no room for arguments.

Steve snorted and settled on the couch next to her, pulling one of his knees up to his chest to rest his cheek against it.

“We’ll see what happens,” Steve reached for the remote to turn on Vanderpump Rules, something they had started binging because one of Steve’s classmates, Chelsey, recommended it to him, and he got Robin addicted to it, too.

The phone call came just about twenty-four hours later, when Steve was doing dishes. He squeaked when he saw it was Chrissy’s name flashing on his phone, and rushed to get his hands dried. Robin looked at him in confusion until he grabbed his phone and showed her the name on the screen, then excitement took over her features.

“Well! What are you waiting for? Answer it!”

“If you’re staying you have to be quiet!” he hissed before he pressed the green icon on his phone. “Hello, this is Steve,” he said, knowing that his voice pitched a bit higher when he answered, as he tried to seem as collected as possible.

“Hello, Steve! It’s Chrissy Cunningham,” her voice greeted him cheerfully. Robin gestured violently for him to put it on speaker. Steve rolled his eyes, but pulled his phone away from his ear to do so.

“Chrissy! It’s good to hear from you,” he said, slightly louder than he had been talking before.

“I’m reaching out to let you know that my client has decided to move forward with your application to do the in-person interview,” Chrissy explained, causing Robin to fist pump.

Steve bit back a grin as he responded, “That’s awesome! When would that be?” he asked, which prompted Robin to scramble to find a pen and paper. Steve gestured to the fridge, which the whiteboard calander was hanging on.

“I’ll send you the NDA paperwork for you to sign, and as long as that gets done, my client will be in Indianapolis tomorrow through the month,” Chrissy informed him. “So, whenever you’re free during that period of time.”

Steve walked over to where Robin was to looking at the calendar and saw he was free every day that weekend, “Well, I’m sure your client probably doesn’t want to worry about doing an interview the day they get here,” Steve hummed, “I’m free on Saturday if they’re available then.”

“Perfect! Does 2pm sound okay?” At Steve’s confirmation, Robin wrote the time down. “Once you get the NDA email and return it signed, I’ll forward your contact information to my client.”

Steve’s eyebrows rose in surprise, having expected to have to go through Chrissy for the whole process. “Sounds good to me!”

“Great! I’ll have the email sent right away. Do you have any questions or concerns for me in the meantime?” Chrissy asked, to which Steve replied with a denial.

“I don’t think so,” he said, “I’ll look for the email. Have a great rest of your day!”

“Thank you; you, too! Bye!”

The line went dead, and no sooner did the call disappear from his screen, did Robin’s ability to hold back her excited noises vanish.

“Fuck yes!” she cheered, circling the time on the calendar repeatedly.

“Fuck! I can’t believe this might actually be happening, Robs!” Steve exclaimed, navigating to his mail app to get the NDA signed as soon as it was sent to him.

“‘Might’? She obviously loved you!” Robin boasted with a grin. He refreshed the screen and saw the email containing the NDA load in.

“She’s just cheerful on the phone,” Steve rolled his eyes, following the link that the email provided.

“Yes,” Robin replied, dragging out the word slightly, “both can be true.”

“Either way,” Steve huffed, doing a shoddy job at doing his signature on his phone, but accepting it anyway. He submitted the form, then put his phone away. “Saturday I’ll be meeting her client and then we’ll see how I do.”

“Oh, you’ll be fine,” Robin said confidently, nodding her head.

“That’s what you say, I have to actually meet the person,” he sniffed, turning his head away from her indignantly.

“And you’ll do great, dingus.” she nudged his hip with her own, trying to get Steve to smile.

“Thanks, Bobbie,” he muttered reluctantly as he turned back to the dishes, a hint of a smile on his face.

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[antimony-medusa]

hi saw your daddy kink post discussing the phenomenon of giving grown characters surrogate parental relationships, and I understand where you’re coming from, but i really feel like it’s just a matter of the circles you run in, and the assumptions that you might make because of that. you mention how platonic reads of these dynamics are more uncommon than kinky reads, which i just don’t think is the case, and I think that arguing that people don’t even realize that they’re writing a kink is a little bit bizarre, and sort of assumes that you know more abt them than they do by projecting your own experiences onto them.

it isn’t inherently sexual to crave protection or a parental relationship that you may have missed out on, and it is certainly not universal. in my own family, my “grandpa” isnt my biological grandfather (nor do I really consider him to be my grandfather), but he’s my mother’s surrogate father and has been since she was in her twenties. an adult. he sees her as a daughter. she sees him as a father. there’s absolutely nothing kinky about it. and anybody who automatically assumes that must have their mind deep, deep in the gutter and/or the stranger side of the Internet. really, i find it a bit of a strange argument to randomly post in the first place—as if it’s a problem that so many people enjoy non romantic and non sexual relationships, and that these people must, in fact, have a daddy kink that they are unaware of.

that said, i do absolutely agree that fans bringing any part of that into phil’s chat is weird and they should Not do that, and that infantilizing characters is also very weird, and personally i dont even see him as being father figure to anybody on that island except his eggs, wilbur, and MAYBE an argument could be made for tubbo (which other cc’s on the island have joked about), but to each their own and all that.

sorry this is so long. TLDR, i get where ur coming from in terms of “warning , some people might read your stuff differently than you want here” but really not everything is a kink and paternal dynamics can easily happen in regards to adult characters, particularly young adults, without there being any inappropriate connotations. i know nothing i said will change your mind, obviously it’s set, but ykno diff perspectives and all that. hope ur doing well

Thank you for the ask! I see you were on mobile, I believe. :D I am also going to push the character limit with this response, I fear.

I agree that it isn't inhernetly sexual to go after a parental relationship that you missed out on, and there are many such cases. I'll even go so far as to say that it's not inherently kinky to go after a parental relationship that you missed out on, because there is such a thing as non-sexual kink, and heaven knows that MCYT writing is full of non-sexual kink. Lots and lots of stuff that is platonic that is kinking on fear, or being drugged, or kidnapping, or hypnosis, or familial relationships, etc— there's lots of people who aren't doing that. There are tons of people out in the real world (and in fiction), who are simply just expanding their family as an adult, and that's awesome. When I was in college there was this older couple who kind of adopted me and invited me over for thursday dinner, and they were awesome. There was nothing untoward going on there.

But look. I am an emduo fan who likes to see my guys be murdery, and because of that, I've ended up reading a bunch of Dark SBI. I've ocassionally gone "this cannot be what everyone is doing" and I've read stuff tagged as "family fluff" that I find recommended. I am aware of where the genre is going, particularly with the rise of "dadbur" and "dadnoblade" interpretations.

And look, you have just got to trust me on this one. People are writing stuff that in any other fandom I would be recommending they put kink tags on the work so that people who liked that trope could find it and people who didn't like it would avoid it, but that comment in DSMP would just lead to people getting doxxed, so I just grit my teeth and go "i guess that's baked into Dark SBI or Tooth Rotting Fluff now, I sure hope that doesn't hit anybody's triggers".

Like I PROMISE you. The first draft of this response included excerpts of fics that I've read and I was like "can YOU pick the ship fic from the /p fics here"? But I have a horror of ever leading to someone getting cancelled on twitter, so nothing that could possibly be identifiable of these writers. But like—

Some of the ways that Tommy gets treated in the narrative are almost indistinguishable from a bodice-ripper romance. Some of the tropes being used— within DSMP we've all clasped hands and agreed to interpret it being platonic, but in any other fandom, you are going to start getting comments that you might not want to get. The tag is FULL of stuff that is DD/LB in everything but name. Maybe my mind is in the gutter here, but if you move out of this fandom, you are going to move into circles where a lot of people's minds are in the gutter, and you are going to get a very different response from your comments!

And I was talking about daddy kink here specifically, because I see that one come up a lot and it's gotten egregious lately, but this also applies to dehumanization, and fearplay, and predator/prey, and "instincts" (in every other fandom that's gonna get people in a mashup of A/B/O, Hypnosis, and sometimes Agere responding to it), and kidnapping/drugging, AND the way a bunch of "piglin instincts" stuff is just a BDSM au now where the Brute (dom) needs to be callmed down by their Runt (sub). The SBI tag is super kinky right now. And I don't have a problem with that idealogically, write your truth, but a) please don't bring that up in front of the streamers, b) if you move to another fandom you have got to be prepared that not everyone is doing their kink platonically.

Like I'm assuming that people don't know what tropes they're playing into, they're just building them from first principles, because the other alternative is that they are deliberately and knowingly writing kink and posting it in the & relationship tag with insufficient trigger tags, and I prefer to believe that people don't know.

I'm glad we agree about people bringing that into Phi's chat, or Pol's, or Luzu, or any of the other streamers that people have decided is So Old. A lot of people aren't comfortable even being assigned dad, as we saw with Felps, so bringing it even further is just— uh oh, no.

I do not have a problem with people liking non-romantic and non-sexual relationships. I find it a bit odd that much of the fandom can't concieve of a non-romantic and non-sexual relationship without making it familial and specifically lately father-son— don't you have close friends?— but I am fully in support of gen writing. I primarily write gen! I'm an avid commentor on gen fics!

But some of the tropes at play in the fandom are kinky, there is no way to avoid that. The fact that they are set in a familial relationship doesn't negate that. Some of the ways that the DSMP characters get treated would be distinctly non-familial if you ever brought it out of that context. And I am just warning people, if you bring it out of that context, be prepared for the response you get.

You cannot take DSMP tropes and apply them one-to-one in other fandoms, with other streamers swapped in, and expect them to be read the same way. Like i'm sorry, but that's just true. If you are posting the same sort of stuff that for Cellbit & Phil that you would post for Tommy & Phil, people will assume that you have a daddy kink, because usually when a relationship between a adults that are actually similar in age is refered to with paternal language it's a kink thing. That is how the broader internet works. (And anon, if I had a daddy kink, would I be complaining about the fact that I can open any SBI fic and have about a 40% chance of hitting it and I'm seeing signs of this appearing in QSMP? I assure you I'm not "projecting [my] own experiences onto them" here.)

[rackraccartpage]

Your art is literally insanely awesome how are you not more popular

Also how’s curse of strahd going? I’d love to hear more about the characters, their designs are very intriguing. I can’t help but think there’s some really fun personalities and stories going on with them

hi! and omg thank you so much!! I try not to get discouraged by the algorithm, but sometimes its hard so you reaching out means a ton! As for DND, we're only on our first session so far! this thursday is our second one, but even then it's been a really fun time. My group has been creating a handful of memes already LOL Character lore and descriptions: My character is Nania Dargova. She's a 17 year old Barovian girl who lives on the outskirts of the town in a small home with her parents, 3 brothers, and two sisters. Her daily routine of walking down the barren roads until it stops at the foggy forest hadn't been very fruitful until recently when she had found an old satchel. She took it home and soon discovered the spirit of the great wizard Jaroslav Lozenkovich possessed the old book bag. He convinced her to a pact where she would earn great magical power, and he would get to 'borrow' her body. However, the pact went not quite as planned. Jaroslav's spirit was now trapped within her, but he wasn't 'back from the dead' like he hoped to be. Instead, Jaroslav is co-existing with Nania, with Nania being in control most of the time and Jaroslav stuck to yelling at her within the confines of her mind. Later on, Jaroslav urges Nania to go with the group of adventurers who arrive in Barovia in order to find his spell book which had been lost after he passed. Nania is a warlock with Jaroslav being her undead patron. She has the ability of form of dread which upon lifting her eyepatch, the spirit of Jaroslav can come out and take physical form but only for a short time. In roleplay I've only had the chance to play as Nania so far, but soon enough once Jaroslav makes his presence known to the group he'll become less of a secret. I'm super excited about it since my friend who is the DM is going to be playing as Jaroslav, and the dynamic between grumpy old wizard and bubbly carefree host is bound to stir up some interesting and funny moments :D Her family's house I built in Tiny Glade:

[edenicsin]

spell write-up: money box

(this is a very messy description of my long-term money spell. enjoy!)

first of all – i decided to do a money box instead of a money bowl for two reasons: i dont have that much space (and thus need to be able to fit things on top of other things), and im quite clumsy and prone to knocking things over on accident.

i bought a silk(?) piece of clotch to line a small box. the primary ingredients were rice, cinnamon, a drawn solar symbol, a written prayer, and possibly more herbs though i dont really remember. over time i added a LOT more things – cedar oil, basil, a key, flower petals, vanilla… basically anything and everything i had in the cupboard, in small amounts. not all of it was money-specific; sometimes i add things to bring peace to my financial matters, for instance. indeed i consider the variety useful in symbolizing multiple income sources.

i work the box every thursday during the hour of jupiter, usually first thing in the morning, since i think about december? january? the couple of times i missed it i would do it after sunrise on sunday. the standard procedure is lighting the designated candles, ‘mixing’ the contents while thanking the involved spirits (oh yeah i involved a number of entities in this) and burning incense as offering, adding something (new or more), continuing the mixing while talking specifically about what im currently in need of, thanking the sun and jupiter another time, closing the box and blowing out the candles (so the smoke may carry my wishes to the entities in question).

i actually dont really do specific petitions atm, hoping to add that to the repertoire in the coming weeks, along with writing more prayers (rn i just have the one). this has been my longest term magical operation (so far!) and i really want to continue it… functionally indefinitely, so it may change over time, as it already has.

the major conclusions are thus:

1. people are not kidding when they recommend a money Bowl. the effects are definitely strongest on thursdays, to the point where it feels like the universe conspires to bring me money Only on those days (very rarely on wednesdays). im hoping to move my workings to a nice bowl as soon as i have the space – possibly also work it more often? not sure how achievable that is for me, though.

2. a big container is a must, not because of the amount of contents but because of the ease of interaction it offers. though also because of the amount yes.

3. basil is awesome for bursts of cash when necessary; however…

4. this is definitely more of a long-term project than an emergency solution. ive noticed a significant build-up effect, where at the beginning it wasnt very strong but now its, well, bending reality for real. however, with the ingredients and work ive used and done its less so about specific amounts and moreso because of the opportunities it seems to generate – at least from my unemployed perspective. possibly very detailed petitions could work around it?

5. leaving cash in the box is not only good magically, it also makes it smll very good. this is a very fun thing when youre giving people cash n u see them go Huh?

i think thats the bulk of it? i dont want to be too specific just in case, but im open to answering questions if anyones interested. in conclusion, i would highly recommend this spell type(?), as long as you give it ample time to kick in. i imagine it could be adapted to a lot of traditions and practices!

[hoshigray]

hello hello again Hoshi 🫶🏼🫶🏼 i hope you are having a nice thursday today! wow i'll have to listen to some of your songs you have really good music taste :} for me my favorites at the moment would be:

smooth operator — Sade

cigarettes after sex new song dark vacay (did you listen to it?) it’s my first time discovering cigarettes after sex because a friend rec'd it to me and i'm in love TvT. i love the lead singer's voice <3 <3

somethin' stupid — Frank Sinatra

— california anon!

cali baeeee!! My Thursday has been chill thus far, now I need to get ready and right for two papers (one due at midnight; the other at 1pm tmrw) so I got my caffeine on lock, wish me luck (>ᴗ•) ! && oooo hold on, et me put my thoughts:

SADEEEEEE stop she's such an icon I love her sm, I've been listening to Pearls and Like a Tattoo on repeat this month 🙈🙈 mannnn I love Smooth Operator so baaad, i like the version from the Diamond Life album with the dialogue she does in the beginning ♡♡♡

YESSSSSSS C.A.S is so awesome, I heard that song literally the night they posted it up on spotify!!! It's my fav song at the moment bc I can't stop thinking about the chorus 😣😣 it's so addicting. But wow, I'm glad you found out about them; their songs are so good and the vocals are heavenly!! I rec you listen to sunsetz, pistol, stop waiting, sweet, and tejano blue

Mannnn you can never go wrong with Frank Sinatra ☆☆☆☆☆ My fav from him is Somethin' Stupid w/ his daughter Nancy, like I could never get enough of the tune and instrumentals that coicide with the melody and lyrics !

[attic-club-sandwich]

I fell asleep lol-

Anyways I'm doing pretty good! ^v^ Thankfully I didn't have any exams today so I'm home today(wednesday) and tomorrow(thursday)!

Hru??? :>

Haha that’s okay, I don’t blame you! I’m sure you need the sleep lol and Yayy that’s awesome! I hope you enjoy your exam free days! It’s always a good feeling 🥰

And I’m also pretty good! Work has been slow so far this week because we’ve gotten quite a bit of snow here the last couple of days. Im hoping it picks up a little and the week goes by fast 😪

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ starting prompt: “if I was your boyfriend, I’d pepper you with kisses and gifts and spoil you so bad.” 

♡ pairing: tim drake (Robin YJ S2) x fem reader

♡ lyric inspiration: “if we go down then we go down together, we’ll get away with everything, we’ll show them we are better.” 

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes

Tim Drake was a special one, everyone knew that. he wasn’t Dick, the happy go lucky Robin, he for sure wasn’t Jason Todd, the sarcastic and very rude Robin. he was the tactical Robin, the one who made sure everything went as planned, whether it was on a mission or when all of you decided to hangout. 

you were not apart of his plan. at all. 

when you first joined the team, you were very similar to Garfield and Bart. very playful, extremely flexible when it came to hanging out with everyone on the team which made you very likable amongst them. Tim didn’t really like it at first. 

he thought all you liked to do was have fun and play games but when he finally saw you out on the field, he was more than impressed. it was like a flip of a switch. your playful personality immediately went out the window and it was like you became a whole other person. 

the team at the moment was having a bit down time. more than usual that is. you were lying around the lair, kicking your legs up against Bart as Nightwing walked in with Robin following behind him. 

“hey guys!” you murmured through a mouthful of chips, “afternoon ( hero name ), enjoying that bag of chips?” Nightwing asked. you nodded happily as Bart reached in and ate some, “what has all of you here? you guys aren’t usually around at this time of day,” Garfield exclaimed. 

Robin sat next to you, making sure he didn’t sit too close to you. when he started developing his crush on you, he immediately sensed himself getting nervous around you so he made it his mission to remain a close yet far distance. 

“we need to talk to the team and since some of you are here, we figured it was best to break the news to you now,” you gave Tim and the rest of the boys a nervous look, “is the team breaking up? because I can’t afford to be back on the street,” you practically blurted. 

Nightwing laughed, shaking his head, “nothing like that! the city of Gotham actually wants to honor the team this weekend at a special dinner,” Nightwing said. you sighed in relief as he continued, “they want it to be a black tie event so all of you need to be dressed appropriately. Wonder Woman herself offered to buy your attire if you choose to attend,” he mentioned to you.

you perked up in excitement. 

“awesome! I’ll give her a call right now, thanking her in advanced,” you said, getting up from the couch and heading to the nearest phones. Tim sighed, watching you walk away as Nightwing gave his brother a look of confusion. 

“any of you planning on asking any of the girls as a date?” Nightwing asked off handedly. Garfield and Bart instantly perked up, eyes darting in the direction of where you went, “definitely ( hero name ),” the two boys said. 

suddenly, the air went thick as Bart, Garfield, and Tim looked at each other. a competitive stare fell on their faces as Nightwing could tell something was up, “mind telling me what all of you are thinking?” Nightwing asked them as Garfield and Bart instantly looked at each other. 

“I’m asking her out!” the two of them shouted. 

Nightwing shook his head disappointedly. he knew that this would become an issue. there wasn’t many girls on the team that could be asked out on a date so that really only left you and Cassie on terms of availability. 

“please, like she’d accept you as a date,” Bart told Garfield as Garfield immediately stood up in defensive, “you’re the one to talk!” he retorted just as loudly. 

Nightwing could tell his brother was thinking to himself. something he did often and while he wasn’t exactly the best at figuring it out, this time, he knew it had to do with the conversation at hand. every now and again, Dick could see the way Tim looked at you. some of it was eyes of admiration but more often than not, he had that lovestruck look. 

Dick could just tell that Tim was also apart of the competition in trying to ask you out. you had walked back inside to the living room but this time with Cassie at your side. you were laughing at something she said before Garfield and Bart attacked you suddenly. 

“do you want to be my date to the dinner?” they both yelled in unison. Cassie immediately started laughing as you stood in place, not knowing whether to accept or not, “uh, Garfield? I thought you seen me as a sister?” you asked, seeing Gar’s dejected face. 

last week while all of you were playing a game of cards, he had mentioned that he thought of you as a sister in passing. while he never thought that the comment would ever come back to haunt him, sure enough it did. Gar hung his head low as Bart gave you a hopeful look. 

“you serious?” you asked the redhead. Bart nodded excitedly, “yeah! we can get matching ties and dresses!” he practically boasted as he grabbed your hand, shaking it in excitement. 

you shook your head, “whatever Allen, the color we’re wearing is dark green so find a tie and I can find a color to match a dress with it,” you stated, making Bart nod in agreement. 

once you were out of earshot with Cassie, Bart fist pumped the air in excitement as he danced in place, “told you I’d get the girl!” he exclaimed happily. Tim sighed, not saying much as he tried to not make it sense that he was both jealous and disappointed. 

he had no idea that they were going to ask you out this quickly. Tim figured that maybe he could get you alone and ask you out when the time was right but now....Bart had beat him to the punch and by the looks of it, you seemed pretty interested in him too. 

Tim wasn’t one to get insecure about himself rather quickly but seeing someone he had grown to like over the course of the last few months, he felt that small bit of insecurity rise up. 

+

Saturday morning at the lair was busier than usual. since Gar hadn’t acquired a date for tonight, between him and a few others, they offered to take patrol for the night. you were feeling nervous bubbles in your stomach. you had never gone on a date before and while you had never saw Bart as anything but a brother, maybe the dinner could change it. 

you ironed out the forest green dress and hung it in your designated room closet. while you were trying on a few heels Wonder Woman had bought you, you heard a knock on your door before seeing Megan walk in with a solemn look on her face. 

“hey Megan!” you exclaimed happily. she gave you a tight lipped smile, “Bart’s on the phone. he needs to tell you something,” she murmured, handing the phone over to you. 

you grabbed it, hearing the hacking cough coming from the other end of the phone. you instantly sighed knowing exactly why Bart had called you. he wasn’t going to be able to make it to the dinner. he had caught the bug that Jaime had a few days before and wasn’t able to get out of bed. 

“I told you not to hang out with him Thursday night,” you threatened, clutching your heel in your hand, “but did you listen? no you did not. now I have dress that won’t be worn because the IDIOT who had offered to be my date was irresponsible,” you exclaimed. 

Bart tried to makeup an apology but you practically waved it off, “have fun in bed you jerk!” you said before hanging up. Megan gave you a sad look, “you’re really not going tonight?” you sighed, shaking your shoulders, “you should! Wonder Girl, Robin, Blue Beetle, Nightwing, Superboy, and the rest of us are still going. you could always just tag along with one of us!” she offered. 

you thanked her silently. you figured since Wonder Woman had already bought the dress for you, you couldn’t just let it go to waste. “sure, I’ll tag with Wonder Girl tonight,” you murmured, trying not to seem disappointed. 

Megan gave you a quick hug before letting you go back to doing your makeup. Tim walked in with his suit in hand as Megan walked out of your room, “what’s going on?” he asked Nightwing. he looked to his brother, “Bart caught the bug Blue had a few days ago and can’t go to the dinner with ( your name ), he whispered. 

Tim tried not to seem happy by what he had just found out but since Bart was sick and Gar was staying for patrol, he figured his stars must’ve aligned. the dinner was going to be happening in under an hour and all he was told to do was bring his suit so all of you could head out in one car. 

“that must be upsetting for her,” Tim replied, seeing as Dick started to laugh, “some how I get the sense that you aren’t as upset as she is,” he said before walking away. 

Tim didn’t say anything as he heard Dick tell him to get dressed within the next few minutes before all of you were late. as Tim went into the bathroom, he heard you call Cassie or Megan over to your room. he wondered what you needed but figured it wasn’t his place to head over if you didn’t call for him. 

putting on the suit didn’t take as long as he thought. all he needed was help tying the tie and he went back out to the front of the lair. “she looks great, doesn’t she?” he heard Zatanna say to Megan, “I feel kinda bad for Bart. he really missed out,” she added on. 

you walked out of your room as you struggled to walk with your heels on. Garfield, Tim, and even Nightwing were a bit taken back by how you looked. you had never been so dressed up before so they were in a bit of shock as you walked out with Cassie. 

“wow,” Garfield whispered, “can I be your date tonight?” he said as you smacked him in the back of his head, “sorry Gar, you have patrol or else I would actually take you up on that,” you giggled before sitting down on the couch. 

Tim almost instantly sat next to you as he gave you a smile, “you look....fantastic,” he mentioned. you looked at the ground, not trying to get caught with a flustered expression, “thanks Rob, it means a lot coming from you,” you said, not realizing what you were actually saying. 

Dick smiled to himself as he watched the interaction. his heart warmed up at the sight of the two of you. he knew Tim took himself a bit too seriously sometimes so seeing you break that harsh exterior made him happy. Tim needed to loosen up and maybe you would be the one to do that for him. hell, Tim trusted you with his life and that was not something he said often.

after all of you arrived to the dinner and thanked everyone who coordinated the event, all of you sat down at separate tables to eat. you had asked for a two seat table since you figured that Bart was going to join you but now, you realized that you’d probably be eating alone on the balcony. 

just as you handed your jacket to the hostess, you saw Robin walking your way, “mind if I sit with you?” he asked nervously. you perked up, “of course! you sure you don’t wanna sit with Nightwing or even Blue?” you asked. Tim shook his head no, “I’d prefer if I sat with you,” he tried to say without a blush covering his face. 

he pulled your chair out, making sure you were already seated before pushing you back in. Tim sat across from you, giving you a smile before looking to the hostess who was making her way over to the two of you again. 

-

the night had went relatively quickly. that semi-awkward tension between the two of you quickly disappeared as both of you got comfortable around each other. 

Robin, underneath that shell of his was a pretty funny guy. he would tell a joke that would have you crying from laughter for at least a few minutes and while the hostess that was attending the two of you had mentioned that it was getting a bit more cold and the two of you should just head in, neither you or Robin made the move to actually go inside. 

the two of you were sitting down on cushioned lawn chairs, talking about a failed mission the two of you had went on a few months ago that made Bart lose his eyebrows due to an explosion. 

“I swear, it was the funniest thing ever,” you said through giggles, “you really should have been on our team.” Tim sighed contently as he watched you run your hand through your hair, “hey, can I ask you something?” he asked suddenly. 

you nodded, a bit nervous on why he changed his mood all of a sudden, “do you have a thing with Bart?” he asked. you were taken back, not knowing that this would be the question, “uh, no? we’re just friends. I know we were supposed to be each others dates but I think he really only asked me because of his little competition with Garfield,” you murmured, “why do you ask?” 

the two of you had been leaning up against the rail of the balcony as you had taken Tim’s jacket earlier in the night and wrapped it around yourself. 

“I was wondering...if after this dinner.....you’d be interested in going out on another date with me?” 

you stayed silent for a moment, not knowing what to respond with. 

“with me? really? I never thought of Mr.Perfect asking me out on a date,” you replied, trying not to make it too awkward, “I don’t think you’re any different than I am. I’ve liked you for a while now and have been wondering if you felt the same.” 

you let out a sigh, “of course. I’d love too. I’m just not sure what you see in me is all,” you responded with. Tim grabbed your hand and held it, “you’re amazing. whether it’s on the field and kicking someone’s ass or just lounging around the lair with Gar and Bart. if I was your boyfriend, I’d pepper you with kisses and gifts and spoil you so bad,” he confessed. 

you stayed silent, not knowing how to reply. you had never taken Tim as the romantic type and was not expecting that kind of confession. 

Tim leaned in and placed the smallest kiss on your lips as he put his forehead on yours after he pulled away. you smiled, putting your hand on his cheek and brushing your thumb against it, “that means I should probably tell you who I really am,” Tim murmured, taking off his domino mask. 

“I’m Tim, Tim Drake.” 

“ ( your name ).” 

[a-student-out-of-time]

What's up, Kazuichi?

She has it in for you? How so?

Alright, so, we were gonna meet up around this bus stop, since it was kinda far.

______________________________________________________

*Thursday, December 19th*

(Okay, stay calm. Should I have brought flowers or something? Nah, too obvious.)

(Just stay calm. You’re not even gonna be alone with her. Just play it cool and be a good friend. Even if she is cute.)

???: Souda-kun!

Huh?

Hi! 

Hey! Great to finally see you in person!

Uhh...i-if it’s okay with you, c-can I hug you?

Oh...s-sure thing!

*Chihiro does so*

Y-You look great today.

Thank you...uh-umm...Ayumi-chan should be here soon too.

Right, your other friend.

So, uhh...what’s she like?

Well, Ayumi-chan’s a gamer, and she’s learning a lot about programming too.

She and I are both gonna be in Class 78, but she’s gonna be in B.

Wait, you’re both gonna be my underclassmen then?

Sounds great!

You, uhh, close with her?

Kinda? I’ve known her a little longer than you, but this is my first time meeting her in person too. She’s really nice, so...I really hope you’ll both get along too.

Hey, I’m sure we will! If you vouch for her, she must be awesome.

Hehe! Thank you.

_________________________________________________

*A little while passes and there’s no apparent sign of her*

Hmm...maybe the bus is running late?

Oh dear...

If you want, we can go looking? Have you got her number?

Hmm...lemme see...

*Kazuichi gets up* Wait, I think there’s another bus coming.

Oh, I think that’s the one she said she be on!

*The two go to greet her, only to be met with a large filing off the bus*

Umm...A-Ayumi-chan? H-Hello? Do you see her?

‘Scuse me! We’re looking for someone! Ayumi-cha-

GAH!

*BUMF*

???: Ow! Watch where you’re going!

Agh! I’m so sorry!

Are you an idiot? Crap...where’d my glasses go?!

Umm...they gotta be around here somewhere.

Help me find ‘em, and don’t stop on them!

Y-You don’t gotta yell...

C’mon, please...I can’t see without them.

Ayumi-chan!

Oh, your glasses! Uhh...here they are!

Good find, Chihiro-chan!

*Chihiro hands her the glasses*

Phew! Thanks, Chihiro.

Sorry, this idiot bumped into me.

H-Hey, I was trying to help!

It’s great to finally meet you in person.

*Chihiro hugs her* You too!

Umm...th-this is my friend, Souda Kazuichi. Souda-kun, this is my friend, Arima Ayumi.

Sorry I bumped into you.

Do you’re Souda-kun, huh?

...

*Ayumi stares at him*

What?

Nothing, just...

*She adjusts her glasses and gets a closer look*

Wow. You come here often?

Huh?

Souda-kun’s a mechanic, y’know.

Yeah, you really look the part.

You must be a mechanic, cuz looking at you is repairing my broken heart.

Uhh...w-wait, is something wrong with your heart?

...N-No, it’s fine.

Say, you ever work with robotics?

Uhh...sometimes?

Then are you a computer technician? 

Cuz you’re turning my hardware into software.

...Huh?! Wh-What’s that...huh?!

Pfff-hehehehe!

Nailed it!

_____________________________________________________

And the whole time, that girl kept saying weird stuff like that, and she kept giving me weird looks.

And she even said “If you’re a mechanic, I bet you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.” Like, c’mon, I know I smell like oil sometimes, but jeez!

At least Chihiro-chan thought it was funny, but I could see right through all of it.

That girl was pissed I knocked her glasses off and she spent the whole time making fun of me. I wonder if she’s been talking crap about me to Chihiro-chan.

[ggukkieland]

📕CURRENT READS (2020 November)

🌹 Almost done with the list except for a few and I am excited to curate fics that are fitting for merry December 🎅❄🎄🤶 woot woot! 

I enjoyed this month’s reads - a mix of cyberpunk au, android au, werewolf aus, slice of life, exes and those on the verge of breaking up, and lots of beautifully-written drabbles which ended up in my list of favorites. 

Please send these authors some love by reblogging their content =)

✅ -  done reading   | S (smut) F (fluff) A (angst) 

🥕[Ongoing Series - to check weekly] 

Still reading the ongoing series from October’s reading list, whenever there is an update 😊.

Onyx @springbean - JJK | ABO universe, omega!reader, rouge!Alpha!Jungkook, roommates, cyberpunk au | A, F (this is so fascinating)

[2/?] years after the war, Soketh has become a bustling electric city of life and death. a world now filled with mystery, danger, and rules, y/n finds herself rooming with her old friend while trying to find herself in the city of dangerous dreams. however, her world is turned upside down when a rouge alpha enters their life seeking refuge and help…

Vulgar and Divine @yeoldontknow - JHS | elf!hoseok au, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage,  fantasy au, horror, suspense | A, S

[1/?] The Elf King buys your hand in marriage as an act of political strategy - you, the Banshee Priestess and your ability to forewarn death in exchange for your people’s return to your original home in the River Lands. You hate him for the way his kind make a mockery of death. Even before you meet him, you decide you will not grieve his death - not even a little. But then, on the day of your wedding you begin to weep - and it is not out of love or rapture.

Kitchen Confidential @glitter-kookiedough - KSJ | chef au, slow burn, enemies to lovers | A, F, S

[3/?] After years of annoying the life out of you, your rival, Kim Seokjin, pushes you a step too far and he knows it. As angry and resentful as you are, you don’t realize that something has been brewing under the surface for years. This weekend, that will change. 🌟 new chapter🌟

enemiestolovers drabble series @sincerelyourfangirl - JJK | enemies to lovers, fwb, co-workers | S, A, F

[3/?] Maybe the line between love and hate is thin. Especially when you’re in bed with Jungkook.

Challenge Accepted | What Happens When You’re not Careful | Risky Business

The Lost Luna @hobisbeautifulass - KTH | werewolf au, soulmate au, rival clans | F, A

[2/?] One Luna is born per a hundred-year cycle or so and only appears after the previous one has passed away.  This Luna was forced into hiding for seventeen years, but now she’s back, bloodthirsty, and ready to reclaim her throne.

Mutual Help @personasintro - JJK | bestfriend au, fwb au, fake dating | A, S, F

[24/?] in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it a mutual help

Bite Me @cheeky-kookie - PJM | vampire au | A, F, S

[1/?] Growing up, you always learned to look over your shoulder at night, hoping to never run into the catlike gleam of a vampires eyes. Yet, one night on your way home you find yourself staring into the very things you feared most. Dangerously beautiful and undeniably confident, Park Jimin was everything you knew you needed to stay away from, but he had other plans.

Nut Jobs @ironicarmy - OT7 | slice of life, crack, humor, friends au | S

[5/?] Eight friends. One terrible idea. A whole lot of trouble. Welcome to No Nut November.

Cherry Pickers @kimnjss - JJK | social media au, smau, gamer, fuckboi, vixen!reader, virgin!reader | F, S, A

[4/?] [updates daily] known for your body and surrounded by rumors about your sex life… rumors that he doesn’t think to doubt. until he’s meeting you… forced to realize there’s much more to you then the thonged shorts and lacy costumes.

(or, you’re a video vixen with an assumed identity and jungkook manages to see past it.)

Across the Board @out-of-jams - KTH | 20s, gambling, mafia au, enemies to lovers | S, A

[1/?] And now you’re indebted to the city’s most dangerous mob boss, forced to pay your dues in blood one way or another. With a gun pushed into your hands and your life at stake; once you’re in, you’re in. You’ll never get out.

🥕[Completed AUs/Series/Drabbles -  to read]

Through Time and Space @taephilia - 10.6k | KSJ | F, A, sci-fi, time travel au, adventure, doctor who au 

re: Untitled @to-star-lake - 18.8k | JJK | A, S, F, ceo au, arranged marriage, childhood acquaintance turned enemies (one of my favorites this month 🥰)  

01 02 03 04  ✅

Moral of the Story @suhdays - 7.7k | JHS | A, F, S, strangers to loves, soulmate au, OC can tell if people are telling the truth (really interesting)  ✅

In the Margins  @bonvoyagenoona - 31k | MYG | F, S, A, writer au, humor, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, editor!reader, writer!yoongi [also on AO3] 

01: Winter (5k words)   ✅ 02: Spring (6k words)  03: Summer (7k words)  04: Fall (13k words) 

Into my Bones @inkofyoongi - 15k | MYG | S, F, A, fwb to lovers, slice of life-ish, non-chronological (this is awesome 🌟) ✅

A Human Touch @snackhobi - 39.1k | KTH | F, S, robot au, android!taehyung 

01 ✅ 1.5  02 (will finish the rest of the chapters; this is so good)

Supply and Demand @scribblemetae - 5.7k | MYG | S, A, supernatural au, telepathic!myg, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers  ✅

More than Us @jeongi - 11.3k | KTH | F, S, college au, roommate au, best friend to lovers

Moirai @jimlingss - 46.9k | KTH | F, A, isekai au, fantasy au, reborn as a villain in a video game

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 

Taking Flight @rmnamjoons - 15.2k | KNJ | S, sci-fi, post-apocalypse, rivals to friends to lovers au

Lining’s Silver @sketchguk - 14.1k | MYG | S, F, College au, idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers 

Even a Forest Fire Dies Out @9uk - 6.6k | JJK | A, F, exes au (a re-read) ✅

Southpaw @starshapedkookie - 30k | JJK | A, S, F, childhood friends, college au, boxer au, kinda e2l-ish (a re-read, that fight scene was just exhilarating) 🔥🥊 ✅

All That We Had @starlightauroras-writes - 13k | JJK | Heavy A, S, F, exes au, reunion, ex-husband!JK ✅ (author said there’ll be Pt2)

After the Honeymoon Fades @onherwings - 13k | MYG | A, S, F, established relationship (on the rocks), producer!yoongi, professor!OC ✅

Cozy Thief @bratkook - 5.1k | JJK | F, S, roommates au, mutual pining ✅

Quiet Baby by bratkook - 3.2k | JJK | S, established au, pwp, exhibitionism✅

Come Over by bratkook - 7.2k | JJK | S, pwp, neighbors au, voyeurism ✅

Tear You Apart by bratkook - 17.4k | KTH | S, pwp, slight horror, paranormal

01  ✅ 02 (to read)

Breathe @ephemeralkookie - 6.9k | JJK | A, S, F, exes au, multiple break-ups   ✅

Shield @namgukgalore  - 18.6k | JJK | F, S, slow burn, security guard!JJK, co-workers au ✅

Imitation of Art by namgukgalore - 9.6k | KTH | F, S, romance, friends to lovers

High School Reunion @btsarmy9593 - 6k | MYG | F, reunion, second chances ✅

One Night Ride by btsarmy9593 - 3.8k | JJK | F, hints of S, college!JK, noona, one night stand au ✅

Off the Table @fakeleaves - 11k | KNJ | A, F, exes to lovers  ✅

By its Cover @crystaljins - 38.9k | JHS | F, A, enemies to lovers, demon au, magic/supernatural, witch!reader 

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 ✅

Your Eyes Tell @njkbangtan - 40k | JJK | A, F, mild S, soulmate au, roommates au, enemies to lovers, slow burn, a bit sugar baby au, lawyer!reader, artist!jungkook 

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15   ✅

Popular-ish (drabble series) @hansolmates - 16.1k | JJK | F, S, A, popular!JJK, normie!reader, college au, fwb-ish

01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09  10 11 12 13  ✅ 🥰

One More Time (Finale) - 7.3k | reunion ✅ 

No One @dfdph - 21k | JJK | A, extreme sports, slice of life, epistolary (in form of letters), heavy angst (not kidding! with trigger warnings; written so beautifully but angst may not be for all) ✅

Repercussions: Suspenders, Satin and Stockings @pars-ley​ - 3.1k | MYG | S, pwp, established relationship ✅

Have Faith in Me @aroseforyoongi - 6.4k | KTH | S, F, werewolf au, soulmates au, bestfriends to lovers ✅

The Art of Boxing @seokiie -  3.1k | JJK | S, pwp, boxing au ✅

Beautiful Confession @btsracket - 6.3k | JJK | S, F, fake dating, friends to lovers  ✅

Tongue Tied @btssavedmylifeblr - 12k | PJM | S, F, minor A,  crack, demon au, idol verse, established relationship, pwp  ✅

Infamous @sugaxjpg - 12.5k | KTH | S, A, secret relationship au, fuckboy au  ✅

Familiar Stranger @army-author - 7.3k | KTH | F, friends to lovers, high school au, mixed-up identity  ✅

Strangers Again @minniefilms  - 11.4k |  JJK | A, F, enemies to lovers, best friend’s boyfriend

01 02 03 04 drabble ✅

Ruin Him @kingsuckjin​ - 3.5k | JJK | S, pwp, virgin!JK, coworker au ✅

Sex Education @extravaguk - 12k | JJK | S, F, A, brother’s best friend, virgin!OC (actually came out fluffier than expected 🥰)   ✅

In your Eyes @sweetaesuga - 10.6k | JJK | S, F, A, college au, fratboy au, ex-fuckboy jk, friends to lovers ✅

Drabble Series: In Your Heart [4/11] ✅

Lunar Violence @taetaesbaebaepsae - 7.4k | JJK | S, rock band au, werewolf au, ABO dynamics, strangers to lovers ✅

A Fallen Bookmark on a Thursday Afternoon @cutaepatootie​ - 19k | JJK | A, F, S, strangers to lovers, takes the same train every Thursday 😭 ✅

There You Are @joonkookiemonster - 13.4k | JJK | F, S, ABO dynamics, werewolf au  ✅

Here I Come @jiminssthetic - 3k | JJK | S, pwp, college au, friends to lovers ✅

Morning Rush @atdawnsuga - 3.2k | JJK | S, college au, exhibitionism, strangers ✅

(in)Satiable @thatlongspringnight - 11.3k | JJK | S, F, incubus au, lucid dreams ✅

The Red Pool @ksmuttherapy - 3.1k | JJK | S, horror, vampire au, dusk til dawn vibes

inTOXICated @sugarjaee - JJK | A, S, toxic relationship, college au, fboi au  

01 02 03 04 05 06  ✅

Inebriated [Jungkook’s POV] - 7.4k, read after chapter 4 ✅

You’re so Creepy (drabble series) @whatifyoulivelikethat  - 2k per member | OT7 | F, crack, university au, creepy girl au, (actually cute) 

There’s always at least one campus creepy girl. Or seven. Part 1 (1st kiss) Part 2 (2nd meeting)

kim namjoon - part i | part ii (fave)  ✅

kim seokjin - part i | part ii (fave)  ✅

min yoongi - part i | part ii  ✅

jung hoseok - part i | part ii (fave)  ✅

park jimin  - part i | part ii (fave)  ✅

kim taehyung  - part i | part ii ✅

jeon jungkook - part i | part ii  ✅

🥕[Drabbles]

Feeling @sometimeinjoon - 2.3k | JJK | demon JJK, established relationship, a bit slice-of-life | love this so much ✅🥰

Warmth @artaefact - 306 words | JJK | fluff, fantasy au, incandesce couple ✅

Too Close @taestybae​ - 1.4k words | JJK | expecting parents au, boxer au, angst  ✅

“i’m yours, in every way you’ll have me” by taestybae - 0.8k | KTH | S, A, fwb au ✅

“Are you Sure?” by taestybae - 2k | KTH | S, F, brother’s best friend | love this!  ✅ 🥰

“The strings are attached already” @taetaespeaches - 1.8k | KNJ | angst, fwb ✅

Deep End @latetaektalk - 2.2k | MYG | angst, fuckboy au, a bit of fluff  ✅

Game Boy @suqakoo - 2.7k | JJK | S, gamer au, enemies to lovers, a bit of fluff ✅🔥

Reese’s It’s All for You @joonkookiemonster - 3.1k | JJK | F, demon au, roommate au, Driving me Wild Halloween Drabble ✅

Transparent @kingsuckin - 793 words | JJK | S, pwp, established relationship, see-through JJK shirt 😉 ✅🔥

Savage Love @whatifyoulivelikethat - | JJK | S, pwp, OC is yoongi’s ex 😬 ✅

🌹  Drabbles by @zephyoongist​  - I love the way these are written. Just beautiful. Truly fluffy (like butterflies in my stomach) and also gives off a deep/for keeps type of dynamics between the characters:

you and yoongi had an unusual friendship... - 665 words | MYG | fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers ✅🥰

kim taehyung had only met you a few times… - 1.2k | KTH | fluff, accidental pregnancy au ✅🥰 (a fave)

there wasn’t any particular reason as to why min yoongi chose you to be his mate - his luna… - 840 words | MYG | fluff, werewolf au, slice of life ✅🥰

jung hoseok found you when you were about to make the biggest mistake of your life… - 1.5k | JHS | fluff, runaway bride, slice of life | really cute ✅🥰

[nbrook29]

Kiss or Slap

Sander doesn’t remember when exactly their group made the riverside near the Scheldt their new hangout spot, but he couldn’t be more grateful for it as a cold breeze washes over his overheated body, providing a momentary relief against the scorching heat falling from the sky. It’s probably why the park is fuller than it usually is on Thursday afternoons, packed with people spread on their picnic blankets, searching for a bit of shadow under the big trees and desperately craving a bit of wind. 

It’s so hot he doesn’t even feel like sketching, preferring to just lie on the grass without moving a single muscle, and dying in peace. Even the enticing smell of cinnamon rolls that Noor brought with her isn’t enough for him to reach out and take one from the basket, the action requiring too much movement on his part.

“Guys, come on, we have to start or we’ll never get it done! Sander, get your lazy ass up.” He grunts when he feels Leon’s merciless fingers jabbing him in the ribs.

“Can’t we wait until it gets a little less hot?”

“No, cause that’s not happening in the nearest future and we need new content,” Nathan butts in, followed by Noor, which makes Sander officially outvoted. So he heaves a deep sigh, puts his shirt back on and ruffles his hair to make himself more presentable, rolling his eyes at Noor’s appreciative whistling.

“Someone’s gonna snatch himself a bunch of kisses today with that smoldering look,” she teases, pretending to give him a once over.

“Is that your way of telling me you want one for yourself, sweetheart?” He’s immensely proud of himself when her entire face scrunches up in disgust.

“Eww, no, feels like incest at this point.” Which is kinda true given the fact they’ve known each other since kindergarten and became best friends making sand castles. He fires an obnoxious wink at her, fully anticipating a shove which comes as expected within seconds, with Noor calling him a creep in between laughter.

“Who should we start with? Senne? Wanna go first?” Sander watches as Leon takes out his camera equipment and checks the settings as the rest collects their things.

“I guess, yeah. And then Nathan after me?”

“I’m not doing it, man, you know Britt, she’s gonna flip out.”

“Be a good reason to break up with her,” Sander mutters under his breath, not really feeling apologetic when Nathan shoots him a glare. It would be a long time coming, and honestly, Sander can’t wait for that moment to come. Just being in her presence gives him chills, she’s that much of a horrible person. A few years ago, he read something about alternate universes and sometimes when he looks at her he can’t help but think there’s a history there with the two of them, in a past life or something. At least it would explain that weird energy between them.

If it’s true, he feels very sorry for that Sander. 

He roots for him to run far away from said devil’s spawn.

“I can go next, I don’t have the ball and chain,” Noor says innocently, but she’s smirking over Nathan’s shoulder at Sander who pretends to high five her in their shared hatred for Britt.

“Yeah, us lonely birds will sacrifice ourselves and take the hit for the wellbeing of our channel,” Sander laments playfully, making Senne snort.

“Dude, you’re on your own by your own choice.”

“And pickiness. Don’t forget pickiness,” Noor adds smugly.

Sander huffs in protest. “I’m not picky! I just...” He cuts off because he’s not about to just explain it all now.

“Just what?”

“Specific about what I want.”

Brown curls, brown eyes, shortish, lean, pierced ear, cute giggle, elegant hands and a smile brighter than the sun. 

To be exact.

“Yeah. That’s picky.”

“Whatever,” he replies grumpily, and decides to ignore Noor’s knowing look. Sometimes he feels like she has a sixth sense and can read him like a book. Or she’s just less oblivious than the boys in their friend group. That’s a totally possible option too.

Thankfully, she doesn’t push him further (she’s awesome like that), though Sander has a feeling she’s gonna grill him later when they’re alone. For now, she checks her lipstick in her phone as they all briefly plan the video.

Not like there’s that much to plan; a few days ago, they decided to shoot a kiss or slap challenge for their YouTube channel because it had been wildly requested by their viewers.

Sander still doesn’t quite know how he became a part of a YouTube channel in the first place, always considering himself to be a bit more, well, sophisticated than that? But Leon was into it from the beginning and made them all participate in exchange for free beer, until one day one of their videos blew up.

If you can call getting 100k views on one video blowing up. 

Anyway, they got semi-popular amongst Flemish teens and even managed to snatch a sponsorship with Mentos (however small the offer was) that paid actual money. And he had just managed to move out of his family house so any money coming his way he welcomed with no questions asked. 

So they’ve kept shooting silly challenges slash anything else that’s a trend at a given time and have been able to cover their art supply needs with what little they earned. And, though Sander refused to admit it in the beginning, it’s actually kinda fun. It’s definitely better than his part time job at Pull&Bear where he has to deal with obnoxious customers on an almost daily basis.

They record a short introduction near the river, quickly going over the rules and explaining that the three of them will be competing in who gets more kisses versus slaps. 

“Hey, you know what, this is actually unfair cause you both can kiss anybody,” Senne points out all of a sudden, receiving four pairs of unimpressed glances.

“No one’s stopping you from getting kisses from boys too, dude,” Sander is quick to shut him up, shit-eating grin on his face as he gives him his first (light) slap to the cheek. 

They follow Senne around the park with a camera as he turns on his charm and smiles sweetly at the girls he chooses for the challenge, doing surprisingly well on the first few attempts. But when they venture deeper into the park and he tries his luck with college girls, he gets 5 slaps in the row to the rest of the group’s utter delight. In the end, his results are a blow to his pride and even Sander feels sorry for him, giving him a pat on the back while trying to hold his laughter in at Senne’s grumpy face.

Noor does much better, naturally, as her upbeat personality and a wide smile have always made boys and girls turn their heads. She gets a kiss after kiss, blush after blush, and two phone numbers in the process. Senne argues again that it’s unfair because no one’s gonna slap a girl anyway, but Leon just calls him a sore loser while Noor shamelessly flirts in French with another girl right in front of the camera.

Sander’s very proud.

Taking a quick sip of water, he gives Leon a thumbs up and starts his round, coming over to three blond girls chilling near the skateboarding ramps, trying very hard not to come off as creepy and clarifying the kiss part being only a cheek kiss. The girls erupt in giggles, but they all grant him a light kiss. One of them tries to flirt with him after, but he shoots her down before she can get too into it.

“Such a heartbreaker, you,” Noor coos at Sander’s pained face when they all walk away.

“That’s you, and you actually enjoy it,” he quips back, sticking his tongue at her.

“I do not, shut up!”

Fifteen minutes and fourteen kisses later he’s officially in the lead, sealing his victory with a kiss number fifteen he receives from a cute redhead. He’s gloating in Senne’s bemused face about nobody choosing to slap him when he stops in his tracks.

It’s the proof of his hopeless infatuation that he’d recognize that laugh everywhere.

He looks around for its source, but he comes up short. Then, his eyes focus on the skatepark area and his heart starts beating faster.

Because it feels like a sign. Like the universe is giving him a chance to finally do something. Make a move.

“Hey, can we shoot one more try?” He asks the guys, trying to sound casual while glancing furtively in the direction of brown curls.

“You’ve already won, but I guess?”

Nobody questions him about his reasons, they just follow him to the ramp.

And he’s so fucking nervous. 

It’s incredible, really, how he generally has no problems talking to people he’s interested in, conversation flowing without him even trying, gaining easy smiles and appreciative looks wherever he goes, some natural confidence to him. 

But that boy. That boy is something else.

He makes him question everything he says, makes his palms sweat and makes his deep hidden shyness come onto the surface.

Sander saw him for the first time during Open Day at the Academie in may, strolling casually through the hallway with his friend, completely oblivious to the turmoil he was causing to Sander’s heart.

That was the day Sander saw an angel. 

Fate placed him on his path again sooner than he could’ve hoped, the boy participating in a 2 week film course at his school only several days after he saw him for the first time. And he tried so hard to convince himself to talk to him over that time, but he only managed a few smiles while passing him by in the hallway. 

That and that one stupid joke he said to him while they were waiting in line at the cafeteria that makes him cringe in despair just thinking about it. Seriously, it’s like his entire cool evaporates when he’s near him.

But, the boy laughed at it. So maybe it wasn’t as horrible as Sander is making it to be. Or he was just being nice. 

Robbe. 

Robbe, who he’s been crushing on ever since that fateful day in may.

Robbe, who was at the same party he was last weekend.

Robbe, who he talked to at that party and managed to calm his nerves enough to be charming and funny.

Robbe, who giggled, blushed and bit his lip at Sander’s dumb jokes that evening.

Robbe, who slipped through his fingers because Sander blacked out soon after.

He almost never drinks, but that one night he did, celebrating the beginning of summer break, and not realizing his usual abstinence meant he was now officially a lightweight. What an awful timing.

Robbe doesn’t notice him right away, having his back turned to him while talking animatedly to his friends. Taking a deep breath and plastering a smile to his face to hide his nervousness, he approaches them.

“Hey guys, got a second?”

He notices the recognition in Robbe’s face right away, and Sander shoots him a quiet “hi” when his eyes meet his, an unsure smile blooming on his face.

“Hey, what’s up?” One of the boys nods at the camera.

“I’m Sander, and we’re shooting a video for our YouTube channel, the kiss or slap challenge,” he quickly explains, the boys’ faces lighting up.

“Hey, we have a channel too! I’m Moyo, this is Jens, Aaron, and Robbe.” Moyo reaches out to bump his fist with him and damn, Sander has to find that channel if Robbe is a part of it.

Jens levels him with a look. “So, you want us to kiss you or slap you?” 

“Pretty much, yeah?” Sander chuckles because he’s aware it’s ridiculous, but he’s a man on a mission here, give him a break.

“I think Robbe should represent all of us, don’t you think so?” Moyo proposes, tongue in his cheek as he checks with the rest of his friends. Sander catches the death glare Robbe sends the boy before looking back at him and crossing his arms, looking a bit out of place. And, fuck, the last thing Sander wants is to make him uncomfortable.

So he asks softly, “you’re in?” and waits for agonizing five seconds as Robbe watches him, eyes narrowed, before his features smooth out and he smiles at him.

“Sure, why not.”

Relieved, Sander lets out a chuckle and tries to keep his cool. “Okay then - kiss or slap?”

Robbe squints against the sun and makes him wait another few seconds before he answers, but Sander’s not worried because there’s a soft smile on his face and obviously his angel wouldn’t-

“Slap.”

Wait, what.

He can hear his friends bursting in laughter at this unexpected turn of events while Sander can only stare in shock because how could he miscalculate the situation this much?

Gulping, confused and heartbroken, he asks, “you’re sure?”, to which Robbe nods with a poorly hidden glee.

“But you have to close your eyes cause I can’t hit you while you're looking at me.”

Heaving a deep sigh and trying to save a face despite the humiliation flooding his body, he nods and closes his eyes, steeling himself for it.

But it never comes.

Suddenly, he feels a hand cupping his cheek and he flinches a little, but then soft lips touch his in a kiss so gentle he blinks his eyes open, not knowing what’s happening.

“That was payback for you promising to call me and not keeping your word,” Robbe whispers against his lips before leaning away, something sad and wistful passing through his face. Sander is left completely dumbfounded, ignoring the hollering from the two groups as his eyes fleet all over Robbe’s face.

It’s difficult for him to collect his thoughts because holy fuck, Robbe has just kissed him and he’s internally freaking out. He finally manages to get his bearings when the remnants of a smile slip off Robbe’s lips.

“I-, Robbe, you have no idea how much I wanted to call you, but I don’t have your number.”

“I gave it to you. At the party?” He doesn’t look like he believes a word Sander is saying.

“Um, I kinda blacked out and don’t remember much after like one-ish?”

“You saved it though, I saw you typing it in,” Robbe argues again, but this time he doesn’t look so sure. “Wait, what’s your number?”

Sander watches him entering digit after digit before hitting call. He fully expects a plain number to appear on his screen, eyes widening when he sees what pops up instead.

zk bambieys 🥺🦌👁️💘🧡💖💞 calling

“Fuck, you did give me your number.” He’s not fast enough to hide his screen from Robbe, but he can't even feel embarrassment once he notices the frown disappeared from his face.

“Bambi eyes?” There's a teasing note in his voice, but his pink cheeks sell him out.

Sander scratches his head. "I was very drunk, you can't hold it against me. Also, your eyes are really beautiful," he clarifies, winking when Robbe laughs at his shameless flirting. "Hey, I tried to find you on instagram, but nothing came up. I was really hoping we're gonna bump into each other again. Sorry for being a dumbass and not realizing I had your number this entire time?”

“It’s okay.” Robbe shoves his hand into the pockets of his jeans, swaying on his heels. Sander decides to put them both out of their misery and take the initiative.

“So if I asked you out, would you say yes?”

It looks like Robbe’s about to nod, but then he bites his lip, an almost cheeky smile directed at him. “I guess you have to call me to find out.” And then he gets on his skateboard and casually skates away to the nearest ramp, pulling a surprised laugh out of Sander.

If he was intrigued before, now he’s totally smitten with this wonder of a boy, because damn. 

Their friends finally seem to regain their voices and speak over each other at what just happened, but Sander doesn’t pay them any attention, just takes out his phone again and pressing the call button. 

Watching as Robbe comes to a full stop at the top of the ramp, he cocks his head with a grin and waits until he picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Sander.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Robbe laughs into the speaker.

“Will you go out with me?”

He meets his eyes across the skatepark as Robbe makes him wait again.

Then, with a smile so radiant it overshadows the sun, the boy finally gives him his answer.

“Yes.”

[coeurdastronaute]

HSAU: College Part 1

Previously on HSAU

Morning started the same, every day, rain or shine. Four thirty in the morning, the alarm beeped in the small attic room, and under one section of angled roof, where a pile of blankets slumbered, an arm would appear and slap around until the offending noise stopped. It was precise and methodical and never changed, six days a week.

Lexa ran her hands over her face after pushing off the blankets, but stayed in bed just a few seconds longer, orienting herself. Though it was still summer, the sky hadn’t brightened just yet, and the night was disinterested in ending anytime soon. When she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, she stretched and cracked her joints and yawned before grabbing an old shirt to throw over her sports bra and slipping on a pair of shorts. The fan in her window hummed along while the crickets outside groaned in the heat. Outside, the neighborhood she grew up in was quiet and still. A dog barked and calmed itself. No cars moved at all. Every picket fence and yard with signs and flags slumbered before dawn came, and Lexa was the first among the living. July was awake before the dawn as well. It shook off the night from its coat and stretched forward and backward before loping into the streets, covering every surface with a few inches of thick heat. Without the sun, the heat rose up straight from the ground itself, radiating out into the world. Lexa paused halfway through her run and tied her shoe as the light changed for no cars at all. As she stood she dried her forehead on her shoulder and started off again. Her run got insanely longer with the new summer route that took her out towards her uncle’s garage. For no reason at all. “Where’s Bear?” “I let him sleep in,” Lexa smiled before distracting herself with wiping the sweat from her face with her old shirt. “I ran here though, so that’s impressive.” “Yeah, I mean... no Bear though,” Clarke shrugged and hustled about the café, preparing for the opening. It took just a second, but somewhere between flipping the sign on the door and moving to make the second round of coffee, Lexa grabbed her girlfriend’s arm and tugged her back, kissing her like she had been waiting to do since she started her run. “Your mom still at that conference?” “Until Thursday.” “Want me to help you pack?” “Why don’t you let me actually pack and then come over to watch a movie or something,” Clarke chuckled and pushed at her girlfriend’s chest. “I am a great helper.” “No you’re not,” she smiled and ran her hand up Lexa’s neck, pushing her body closer as she found herself stuck between the counter and her quarterback. “I could barely walk after the last time you came over to help.” The words made her shiver, but Lexa grinned as she swallowed and ran her hands over Clarke’s hips. “But you were way more relaxed.” “I can’t wait until practice starts again. You need to work off all that energy somewhere else.” “How about another training session tonight?” The puppy dog eyes were in full effect, distracting her from everything else. The jingling of the bell at the door made them pull apart. Lexa smiled politely, clearing her throat as her girlfriend adjusted her apron. Just a few more days, and they would be gone, away from the safety of their little town. The entire summer had been spent avoiding thinking about it too much, had been spent disappearing to float down the river, to watch movies much too late in Lexa’s room until her mother would come home late from work and politely remind them of the hour, to drop Aden off at his science camp and disappear together to the mountains and spend the day hiking, which inevitably ended with lounging in the shade atop the hill. Lexa took her seat, at her table, and waited until Clarke finished with the first few customers of the morning. Miraculously, without even having to order, a water appeared, with a big bowl of oatmeal and fruit. Just like nearly a year ago, the quarterback sat there and studied plays as the morning rush came and went. Most of her time was spent watching the girl with blonde hair and cheeks that had that damn smile. For the life of her, Lexa couldn’t figure out how she was going to find the motivation to run when she moved to New Haven. XXXXXXXXX

The evening was growing long in the tooth, but neither party could be bothered to let it end without a fight. And even though a mother made her presence known from time to time, it didn’t deter the two sweethearts in the attic hideaway. Nothing really could, with the late-July heat settling on the roof, angry and annoyed. 

“I don’t think I’ve seen your room this clean ever before,” Clarke observed as she hunkered down on the bed while Lexa finished packing and straightening up. “It wasn’t ever dirty, it just feels… I don’t know. Less lived in.” 

“I wasn’t going to leave a mess for my mom.” 

“I know. I just don’t like any of it.” 

“You’ll be doing the same thing in like six weeks.” 

“Oh no. I’m definitely leaving a mess for my mom.” 

Lexa chuckled and zipped up another duffle bag before tossing it on the pile. She gave her room a finally glance and felt a twinge of sadness in the base of her heart, a tiny little tug on her body that felt like she was already gone. She fell into her bed beside her girlfriend and smiled when a hand pushed hair away from her face. 

“You’re going to go across the country tomorrow,” Clarke whispered. “And I will miss you. But you are going to do something spectacular.” 

The quarterback slid her hand around Clarke’s hip, her thumb touching the warm skin there. She liked the feeling of her, and she wanted to remember it. 

“I’ll miss you badly.” 

“Obviously. I’m incredibly missable.” 

Lexa smiled as Clarke held it there and kissed her eagerly, without holding anything back, to try to say what she couldn’t. Hands gripped on her hips and she pushed forward toward Lexa. Hands moved to her neck and she dug her hands into her girlfriend’s hair. 

“I’ll come see you when you move in,” Lexa promised. “Just a three hour train ride and I can be there.” 

“And you’ll work very hard earning that starting spot this summer. No distractions. And if you get a chance,” Clarke grinned and slide her hand up her girlfriend’s stomach. “To get in shape.” 

“You oogling me is really good motivation.” 

“I don’t oogle,” Clarke shook her head as lips moved to her neck. She felt Lexa settle atop her and closed her eyes, pulling her closer, always closer. “I appreciate.” 

“You’ll have a good summer, right? Not miss me too much.” 

“I’ll miss you plenty, but I’ll try.” 

“Will you, um,” Lexa pulled away slightly, her lips a little puffier, her eyes a little more dilated, her hands touching skin and aching for more. “Would you do me a favor?” 

“Your mom is still making dinner. We have like an hour before dinner. I plan on doing a few favors for you.” 

“No, no, not that,” she shook her head. “Well. Kind of that. But I just… I want you to have a good time this summer, and not think about me. But while you’re doing that, could you watch out for Aden? He gets… he gets quiet sometimes. And my mom. She works too hard. I don’t want to leave them.” 

Her eyes were a little glassy with the confession and Clarke pressed her hand to her chest and nodded with a smile before kissing her softly. 

“I’ll keep an eye on them.” 

“You have no idea how good that is to hear.” 

“I can imagine.”

“Any favors I can do for you?” Lexa ventured with a smile. 

“One or two.” 

XXXXXXXXXX

It wasn’t easy for the first week, but Clarke kept telling herself that if she could make it one week, then she could do it, without a doubt. As hard as it was, she clawed her way through the first seven days without Lexa almost intact and only cried a handful to a dozen times. 

They survived with FaceTime and texts and calls. She got to see a lot of Lexa’s new world with tons of pictures and a lot of eager explanations, and Clarke made sure to keep plans with friends, electing to fake it and hopefully find some moments of happiness. And she did, swimming with friends, parties by the river, working at the café. It was all doable when she didn’t take any time to think about it. 

And every night when she talked with her girlfriend on the phone, Clarke had something to tell her that she did that day to keep herself busy. And she got to hear about how crazy training was, and how awesome the team was, and how exciting being on her own seemed to be. Clarke could handle listening to Lexa talk for hours. 

But there was something she needed to do, and she waited until the first milestone of a week to muster up the courage to do it. 

“Clarke, honey, it is so good to see you,” Gabby opened the door and smiled, wiping her hands in the towel on her shoulder before hugging the girl at her door tightly. 

“It’s good to see you, too,” Clarke sighed, melting into the motherly embrace. 

“I hope you’re hungry. I made chicken.” 

“Is it cooked?” 

“Ha ha. Very funny,” she rolled her eyes, grinning as she ushered her guest inside. 

The house smelled warm and delicious, and somehow felt a little different without Lexa’s bag of gear by the door and her cleats clogging up the entryway. The noises were still the same, some music playing over the small radio on the kitchen counter and Aden’s music thumping overhead, but there wasn’t a happy girl about to lope down the steps at the sound of the door and kiss the guest, and everyone knew it. 

“How have you been? How’s summer so far?” Gabby asked as Clarke followed toward the kitchen. 

“Not too bad. Normal stuff. Working and preparing to leave.” 

“Ah, to be young and with the summer ahead,” she wistfully sighed before taking the chicken out of the oven. 

Her phone rang, and Clarke saw the familiar pep in her step to answer it after she looked at the clock, familiar with the schedule Lexa liked to keep. 

“Hey, kid. How are you?” she smiled at her phone as her daughter’s face popped on the screen. “Your timing is great. Look who just showed up for dinner.” 

Clarke waved at her girlfriend from the counter earning a huge smile. 

“Make sure the chicken is cooked,” Lexa offered.  

“Way ahead of you.” 

“How was practice today? You still sore in the shoulder?” 

“It was great. I got some time in on the first line and had a really good film session. I just got back from dinner with a bunch of the guys. It was Shawn’s birthday, so we went to get a bite at this awesome Chinese place I can’t wait to show you both.”

“And you’re back in the dorm by nine?” 

“A couple of the other guys went to grab drinks, but I’ve honestly never been more tired in my entire life, and we have a five call time tomorrow for conditioning.” 

“Okay, honey, well thanks for calling me. You should sleep.” 

��I will. Clarke, wake me up later so you can tell me all about dinner and your day?” 

“We’ll see,” she shrugged and smiled. 

“I’ll be half asleep but I’m extra cute when I’m half-asleep.” 

“It’s true,” Gabby nodded. “She’s impossible to tolerate when she’s awake.” 

“Very funny,” Lexa rolled her eyes. “I love you guys. Have a good dinner. I’m sorry I missed it.” 

“Get some sleep,” they both ordered. 

It was a good dinner. Clarke enjoyed her time with Lexa’s family as she always did, and she felt a little better that Lexa gave her something to do. Maybe it was a win-win all along, that Lexa got to make sure her family was watched, and Clarke would have something to do. She wasn’t sure she could give Lexa all the credit for the plan, just that she was glad it worked out that way. 

XXXXXXXXX

It had been a long two months. Clarke felt every second of it, she thought, despite how busy she was preparing to move across the country. There was still work, and there was still time with friends, still the summer shenanigans she’d come to love, still time with everyone else who was going their own ways as well. 

It took forever and it went on in a blink. But by the time she got off the plane and picked up her luggage, she realized she didn’t particularly miss home at all. As she stood on the curb and waited for an Uber, she wasn’t as daunted by the idea of change as she had expected, but rather eager to embrace it all. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, you’re going to have to move along--”

Dumbfounded, Clarke stared at her girlfriend, who seemed to have somehow gotten taller and prettier in their time apart, standing next to an old truck. Clad in a backward blue ball cap and a torn up workout shirt that looked as if it was still dirty from a morning practice. 

“What are you--?” Clarke began to ask before smiling too much and launching herself into her quarterback’s arms. 

It felt good, to feel Lexa’s arms around her waist, to smell the sun on her neck, to fit so snuggly there. Clarke squeezed with all of her might, kissing what she could smooshed there, with Lexa’s arms returning it, a laugh in her throat strangled from escaping. 

Somehow Clarke realized her legs wrapped around Lexa and she was essentially a koala, latched there. She didn’t care. She kissed her girlfriend, ignoring the honks of the cars and the swirling police that wanted to usher everyone along. She somehow became the person who missed another persons lips. It was infuriating. 

“How did you know?” 

“My mom told me about your flight,” Lexa shrugged. “I borrowed a truck from one of the guys on the line. They think you’re hot.” 

“Well, that’s… sweet, I guess.” 

“I couldn’t wait to see you. Even if it’s just for a little bit.”

“You’re getting soft on me, Woods.” 

“Yeah,” she grinned, squeezing again. “I don’t care. I knew no one would be here to take you to school.” 

“I was just going to uber or taxi.” 

“I’m going to be the person who takes you where you need to go, even if you don’t ask or expect it, and not in as creepy a way as that sounds--”

She was silenced with another kiss as Clarke struggled to hide her smile. 

[missskzbiased]

I Hate That I’m Afraid to Love You (17)

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst, Hurt /Confort , Suggestive, Fluff, College Au, Enemies to Friends to Lovers Au, REALLY Slow burn, Love Square (?)

Pairing: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader  X Han X OC

WC: ~ 7,5,K

[Previous] [Chap] [Next]

Masterlist

Warnings (general*): Language, Mentions of (Physical abuse, Death/ Loss of Loved One, Child Abandonment/Neglect, Divorce, Toxic Parents, Cancer, Mental disorder, Anxiety Attack, Alcohol, Food), Suggestiveness

Notes: It’s Hyunjin’s Pov. I got to finish chapter 18 today. Probably gonna try to write some of 19 later. I’m posting earlier just because I’m really tired and I’m afraid I might be too sleepy later LOL

Updates: Tuesdays

                                                          ////

  HYUNJIN’S POV

  You were being ridiculous.

  You crossed your legs, sighing as you stared at both cups in your hands in wonder. Why would you be sitting on a bench on a Monday morning with two cups of coffee ─ well, actually one cup of black coffee and one of iced Americano ─ if not to wait for someone? It was so painfully obvious that for a second you thought about throwing them away in the trash and acting as if you weren’t a… You didn’t even know how you should be calling yourself now.

  You scowled, getting up from the bench and heading to the closest trash bin, settled in assuming your usual fuckboy façade to try to approach Y/N. Why would you act differently now? It wasn’t like you loved her or something… Maybe you were a little bit infatuated by the fact that she could listen and understand you better than anyone else –

  See? That kind of awfully awful thought… You should be ashamed.

  You kinda were.

  “Hey” Yeah… Of course, she would see and talk to you at the exact same moment you were about to throw coffee away for absolutely no reason. You exhaled slowly, closing your eyes to recompose yourself before turning around with a smug smile.

  “Hey” You offered back in a husky tone.

  “Did you scratch your throat or something?” She asked in confusion, frowning as she stared at your neck “You sound… I don’t know… Kinda different?” She said unsurely, hands trailing to her own throat and massaging it mindlessly.

  Great… Exactly the reaction you wanted.

  “Oh, no!” You cleared your throat, massaging it as well “I bought these drinks and I drank yours by mistake” You explained, handing her the cup. She narrowed her eyes at you, studying you closely before reaching for it.

  “Thanks…” She said warily “What’s the occasion?” She asked, tilting her head, eyes wandering around your face before she sipped the coffee, humming in appreciation “This is really good!” She raised her brows in surprise, shifting her gaze to the cup.

  “Well, I stopped by a café to buy some for me on my way here, and… Well, I remembered you have an exam today, right?” You smiled at her, knowing far too well that what you just said was bullshit “I thought you could use some real coffee today” You shrugged.

  “I don’t have an exam today…” She frowned, holding the cup with both hands as she thought about it.

    You fought back a smile, watching as she scrunched her nose and tried to figure out what was going on; lips slightly projected forward in something close to a pout but not quite. The way she held the cup with both hands made her look smaller than usual, and for some reason, you found it incredibly endearing. There was something soft spreading in your chest, some kind of warmth that made you want to wrap her in your arms and squeeze her but you ignored it.

    Y/N wasn’t the cute little type… She would hit you for sure if you tried to do anything similar to this. You were yet to understand how she didn’t just kill you after the fake kiss at the stairs… You were lucky as fuck. She raised her eyes to you in question, making you gulp down. You had those eyes so close to yours… That nose brushing against yours… Those lips…

    “You don’t? I must have heard it wrong then” You lied, sipping your drink mindlessly. Or at least, you hoped she thought all of it was natural and unplanned “Well, you like coffee anyway…” You shrugged, glancing at her as you walked together towards the stairs “Consider it a friendship treat” She hummed, nodding in mock acknowledgment.

    “Why does it sound like a poor excuse to buy me something?” She laughed, nudging your side “It’s awesome to have two rich friends to pay for my stuff” She joked, taking another gulp of her coffee “I guess this one is pretty good because it doesn’t even feel like grumpy o’clock anymore” You laughed at this, smirking at her.

    “Maybe it’s not the coffee but my company” You said suggestively, wiggling your brows at her, making her chuckle, “Or it could be the sugar” You said playfully, grinning when she took the bait.

    “Not really, those from the stands are usually really sweet… This one is actually way more bitter than I’m used to” She admitted “But it’s g—“ You didn’t even let her finish.

    “Oh? So you’re saying you prefer sweet things?” You could tell she knew you were about to make some silly input just by the way she arched her brow in expectation “If you want some more sugar, I can be your Sugar Daddy, you know?” You joked, fighting back your laughter as she grimaced at you, huffing.

  “Really?�� She couldn’t help but chuckle “That must have been the worst pick up line you have said in your whole life” She pointed out, grimace dissolving into a playful expression “You’re too young to be my sugar daddy, though” She reminded you, shaking her head in amusement.

  “I can be your honey, then” You chortled when she choked on her coffee, pushing your shoulder lightly as she looked at you astonished.

  “Oh my God… You’re a compulsive flirter, what the hell!” She whined, wiping her mouth “How can you come and show your face when you’re like this?!” She asked dumbfounded, shaking her head in disbelief.

  “Did you look at my face? There is nothing to be ashamed of here” You joked, and she grimaced again in mocking disgust “Come on! You love me just like this” You said in a singsong “You said so yourself” You reminded her, making her snort.

  “I do love you just like this” She agreed, offering you a small smile that made your heart flutter for a second “The amount of self-esteem oozing out of your ass is going to be my thesis’ theme, so I have to love it” You rolled your eyes when her small smile dissolved into a mocking one “I may even get a prize… I don’t think someone ever saw something as big as this” She joked, making you snort.

  You opened your mouth to retort her but she beat you to it.

  “Please… No comments about your dick and your hook-ups” She pleaded, furrowing her brows at you in disgust.

  “Hey, I wasn’t going to say something like this!” You protested, even though it did cross your mind “I was going to smoothly change the subject to the book I couldn’t finish reading because I had to save Han’s ass that day” You threw her your best condescending smile, getting a knowing mumble as an answer.

    “ I see… So you want the juicy gossip” She mocked, making you roll your eyes “I have the book back if that’s what you want… But the coffee and that not so smooth change of the subject make me think that you want to know more” She smirked.

  “Not really” You shrugged, though you really wanted to know, “I just want the book back so I can finally finish it” You lied, and she nodded, clearly not buying your words “I mean it” You tried to emphasize your fake intentions but she just rolled her eyes.

  “What do you wanna know?” She asked bluntly, stopping to rummage through her bag before handing you the book “We’re okay now… He needs more time and I’m okay with it” She summarized, zipping her bag close “Everything is fine and I’m late for my classes” She chuckled, hoisting the bag over her shoulder.

    “So… He talked to you like an actual human being?” You sneered, and she threw you a look before sighing.

    “Yes… He made a good point, to be honest” She giggled, remembering something from their conversation “He was afraid to talk to me about needing more time because he knew I’d go and try to convince him otherwise” She seemed to find it funny “Anyway… He has a lot to deal with right now, and I can wait for him to act normal again” She shrugged.

    “I see…” You pursed your lips, patting the book’s cover distractedly “And what about Paris? She told me she kinda confessed to him…” You cleared your throat, trying to change the subject again.

    She narrowed her eyes at you, suspicious of your question.

                                                            ////

    The book was good but that wasn’t the only reason for you to be here.

    You looked around the library, trying to find an inner excuse to be here apart from returning the book to Y/N, but finding nothing interesting enough. You leaned on the counter, waiting for her to show up as you mindlessly flipped through the pages, clearing your throat to see if you could catch her attention on the back. As much as you felt ridiculous doing things like this, there you were acting like a needy crushing boy…

    What goes around comes around.

    Would you even imagine that one day you would be trying to catch someone’s attention instead of simply having it on your own terms? No. You wouldn’t. You could just return the book to her tomorrow ─ when you would see her in class anyway ─ but you choose to come to the library on a Thursday afternoon just to do it… Someone should be stopping you from being… A Han or something.

    Ugh.

    “Oh!” She blurted when she came back to the counter, looking at you with curious eyes “What are you doing here?” She asked interested, suddenly frowning and seeming to think deeply “Shouldn’t you wait like… I don’t know some weeks to break up yet?” She seemed genuinely confused by your presence, and you found it too amusing.

  “Can’t I come here to visit a friend?” You teased, arching your brow as you failed to fight back your smile.

  “I mean- Well, yeah…” She floundered, clearing her throat “It’s kinda unexpected” She admitted, chuckling “Not even Chan comes to visit me in here and he actually likes to read” She joked, and you leaned on her way, resting your chin on your palm as you smirked at her.

  “Well, maybe you should pick me instead” You suggested, looking into her eyes with your best alluring look but the girl seemed to be built to ignore all your charms.

  “You wish” She snorted “At least, Chan doesn’t jokingly flirt with me all the time!” She rolled her eyes, bumping your nose playfully before organizing some books on a desk behind her.

  “Neither do I” You said sincerely but she laughed dismissively.

  Well, you weren’t jokingly flirting with her… She was just too dense.

  “Anyway!” You shrugged off, placing the book on the counter with a thud “I’m here to give it back to you” You smiled at her as she glanced over her shoulders “I’ve finished it and I hate to admit it but you were right… It’s really good” And you weren’t just saying it.

  “Oh? Better than your drama?” She taunted, grinning mischievously.

  “You’re getting ahead of yourself” You grimaced at her, making her giggle “But I was wondering… Do you have any more indications? I may have liked it enough to read some more…” You muttered, and she smiled knowingly at you.

  “I always have some good indications!” She chirped “I knew you would like it! We have a section here that is filled with books that might be of your liking… Do you want to check them out?” She asked excitedly, and you had to fight back the urge to coo at her.

  She was too cute for her own good.

  “Well… Why not?” You shrugged as if you weren’t interested at all “I can help you out with those” You gestured to the books pile behind her “And then you can show me this section… Maybe I’ll find something I like” She smiled at you, picking up the books and placing them on the counter for you to have access to them.

  “Sounds great!” She said, studying you from head to toes “And kinda suspicious too…” She narrowed her eyes, a grin plastering on her face “First you buy me coffee and then you help me out with my work? Spill the beans” She said teasingly, and you looked at her with unimpressed eyes.

  “If Chan was the one doing it… Would you find it suspicious?” You asked, arching your brow at her “You’ve been saying I’m too flirty and all that… But I’m beginning to think that you like to think I’m flirting with you, Y/N” You smiled condescendingly at her, tilting your head in a silent mockery.

  “I didn’t say you were flirting with me now” She pointed out, grimacing at you judgingly “I said you were being suspicious” She reiterated “Maybe you’re the one who likes to think I want you to flirt with me, Hyunjin” She sneered, making you scoff as you looked away.

  She was a too attentive piece of shit…

  How could she be so perfect?

  For Lord’s sake… You were wasted.

                                                              ////

   You were lucky enough to not be soaked to the bones.

  You walked into the classroom, fingers running through your wet hair in a slow-motion that wasn’t really intended but also not completely unplanned. You didn’t mean to make it an event but what could you do? You knew what people wanted to see. You stopped in front of the board, fixing your hair as you looked at Y/N, licking the drop of water that reached the corner of your lips.

    You lifted your chin just a little bit, half-lidded eyes fixing on your friends as you stretch your neck, letting the drops slid down your throat to your covered collarbone. You could hear some gasps around, and the quiet admiration fueled your ego as you shook your head to get rid of some of the water in it. You licked your lips, biting them before making your way to your seat.

    You felt Y/N’s eyes on you, lighting up your smugness.

    “Morning” You smirked, tilting your head as you threw her a look, eyebrows millimetrically positioned to give off the confident and sexy vibe you were aiming for “How are you today, ladies?” You asked jokingly, taking off your coat.

    “Cold” Y/N answered mindlessly, studying you from head to toes.

    You chuckled at her ─ making sure your voice sounded husky enough to enhance your attempt to look desirable ─ dusting off your shirt that was half-way opened. You noticed how she fixed her gaze on your bare chest for a second, though you couldn’t really tell what was going through her mind, and you smirked at her as she did. You opened your mouth, ready to tease her about it. The ‘Like what you see?’ almost slipping from your lips.

  “Aren’t you feeling cold like this?” She asked in utter confusion “It’s freezing outside…” She added, tilting her head and looking at you as if you had three heads “Didn’t you see it was going to rain today? Do you need a coat? I can ask Chan to pick up something in my room” She offered, and you had to fight all your instincts not to scowl at her.

   I can ask Chan to pick up something in my room… Tsk.

  Unbelievable.

  You glared at Paris as she snorted, looking at you filled with amusement. You grimaced, pretending to laugh along with her before sulking and sitting down. She pinched her nose’s bridge, trying to concentrate enough to not laugh straight to your face. You were surrounded by great friends… You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief as you buttoned up your shirt.

  “What are you talking about, Y/N?” Paris asked playfully “Can’t you see that he’s too hot to be cold?” She mocked you, giving you a teasing look that quickly turned out in a pained one as you stepped on her foot.

  “I don’t think that’s how it works” Y/N chuckled, resting her cheek on her palm and leaning forward on her seat to look at both of you.

  “Don’t you think he’s hot enough for heating up the room?” She continued her teasing, and you had to breathe deeply not to slap the back of her head.

  “You guys are so funny… Ha!Ha!Ha!” You rolled your eyes, huffing.

                                                        ////

    You should thank God for not being a spy.

    You couldn’t really say you were doing a good job at hiding your newfound feelings ─ though feelings might be too strong of a word ─ from your friends. It was more than obvious that Chan would find suspicious the fact that you just fucking snapped your head to the mere mention of her name on the phone. So right now ─ as you sat on the couch, back straightened unnaturally ─, his eyes seemed to shoot a hole in your head to search for something in your soul.

      “What?” You spat annoyed, trying to cover up for your slip-up with some fed-up manners that were bound to make him go away if you were lucky.

    You weren’t.

    “What?” He repeated fascinated “I’m the one who should be asking it” He chortled “You almost broke your neck just to pry into my call” He pointed out, brow arching up in suspicion. You pretended not to notice his narrowed eyes and musing; humming before he finally asked it “Hyunjin… Are you into Y/N?” the amusement under his tone was heavy enough to hit you like a brick.

    “Please… What is there to like about her?” You scoffed, but Chan didn’t buy it at all. He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning his back on the counter as he studied you with attentive eyes. You cleared your throat, averting your eyes from him before connecting them again.

    “Well… You tell me” He sneered “I wasn’t the one who got hard because she was on my lap” He reminded you; the teasing mixing with contempt as he huffed “I also wasn’t the one who spent weeks fucking random chicks trying to get the idea of fucking her out of my system” You paled at this, the cold sweat getting to your palms.

    “I wasn’t trying to –” He interrupted you with a scoff.

    “With all due respect… I have known you for years, Hyunjin” He rolled his eyes “You have never once fucked so many girls in a short amount of time like this… And just after you had a boner like a bloody teenager?” He snickered, grimacing at you knowingly “It sounds like someone was trying to prove something to themselves and failed” He tilted his head, challenging you to say otherwise.

    “To be fair, I didn’t fail…” You muttered grumpily “It was all good until she talked with me…” You were fully aware that you weren’t making any sense, grumbling like a kid that had just been separated from their toy.

    “Care to enlighten me?” He smirked.

    Yes, I do! Fuck off…

    This is none of your business!

    What do you have to do with it? Are you her boyfriend?

    “There isn’t much to tell…” You answered instead, shrugging at him “I realized that we have more in common than I thought… And it felt good to be listened to and have someone who understands me…” You cleared your throat “I was pretty much convinced that it was just a thirsty episode after…” You hummed, trying to search for a good word “That week…” You trailed off.

    “So you actually fucked her out of your mind” He chuckled, finding it funny the way you tried to be polite about it now.

    “Yeah…” You agreed embarrassed “And then she started to go after Han and it got me really mad because… Well, you know” You rolled your eyes “She was trying to make it all better and he was treating her like shit and…” You glanced at him uncertain but as his smirk dissolved into a serious expression, you knew he had understood it “Yeah” You concluded warily.

    “It doesn’t answer my question” He pointed out, and you sighed.

    Would he be less attentive someday?

    “So I kinda pretended to kiss her to throw him off…” You mumbled, and you never saw Chan straightening his back so fast before “But I had my thumb over her lips!” You blurted, eyes widening as he uncrossed his arms.

    “You did what?!” He sounded more surprised than mad, brows arched in utter disbelief “And it didn’t cross your mind to tell me this?!” He chortled “Didn’t she punch you or something? She definitely can take you down in a blink of an eye” He mused, looking for any bruises on you.

    “She didn’t” You admitted, still finding it strange “I guess I was too hurt and she saw right through me… She knew that there was something wrong and she wanted to listen to me… So we talked it through and…” You played with your hands, glancing at Chan in expectation “Well, I don’t know what else to say” You shrugged.

    “Just say you like her” He suggested, chuckling at you.

    And that was exactly the thought you were trying to avoid all this time.

    What was it to like someone? You had asked yourself thousands of times already. Was it about what you wanted them to see in you? Was it about what you wanted from them? Was it about how you felt when you were with them? Was it about the understanding between each other? Was it about wanting to be with them?

  You wanted her to see you as the best one out there.

  Although you found this urge silly and embarrassing, you kept acting like a fool every single time you were around her. You thought that trying to make someone like you, acting differently around them, and trying to convince them that you were the best version of yourself… It was definitely liking.

  The problem was that as much as you wanted her to notice you and see you under a whole new light, you knew that there was no need to hide anything… She knew the deepest and darkest parts of you and didn’t run away. So, yeah! Maybe you were putting too much effort ─ even if you weren’t planning to do so ─ into impressing her but you knew that it didn’t matter in the end.

  She liked you just the way you were.

  For you, liking someone meant to be obsessed with things that shouldn’t matter at all. You didn’t expect her to do anything special… You didn’t expect her to say sweet things to you, or take care of you, or run her fingers through your hair… Well, you kinda wanted it but it didn’t really matter. As long as you had her smiling and sharing things with you… As long as she could tease you and laugh with you when you guys stumbled over each other around the campus…

    You didn’t want her to go out of her way for you.

    You wanted to be on her way.

    You couldn’t remember a time when you felt genuinely happy with a girl… You could remember being smug as you walked around with them as if they were your new trophy. You could remember being playful and teasing and thirsty… Well, you could definitely remember being thirsty a lot of times. Yet, you couldn’t remember feeling so… At home? You didn’t even know if you could actually say something like that.

    It was like she could understand all of you and still welcome you at the end of her day. It was like she could set you on fire and give you some kind of light and warmth that you didn’t feel for ages. It was like being with her was an adventure and still, you didn’t fear anything when you were beside her.

  It was humiliating to feel like this.

  And you probably were a hell of a masochist because you loved it.

  You had to be stupid to think that all that had come from a simple talk on a Friday afternoon. You knew it was much more than that. It came from years of being disgusted with each other… Hiding and searching for the greatest weakness you could find. It came from being vulnerable enough to open up and redeem yourselves… It came from accepting each other… It came from listening, sharing, teasing, healing…

    You scoffed, nodding at Chan as you met his eyes.

    “Yeah… Maybe I like her” You agreed, lowering your gaze to the floor.

    The problem was that Friday didn’t show you how you liked her… It showed you every single thing you were trying to ignore until now. It showed you how much you have gone through and how much both of you were connected to some extent.

    It showed you that liking wasn’t quite the word you were looking for.

                                                            ////

    The first step was to acknowledge your feelings.

    Bullshit.

    The first step should be you burying your feet into Chan and Paris’ heads so they could stop being so painfully obvious about all of it. Was it just in your head or were they actually working together to humiliate you right now? Maybe they were just too excited… To be fair, you couldn’t understand what was going on inside their heads anymore.

    It wasn’t like knowing your friend’s favorite dish was a crime, right?

    Apparently, to the two holy detectives that watched every single step of yours, it was the worst of the crimes; worthy of knowing looks and teasing kicks. What a great way to live your life. You deadpanned as you looked at them, arching your brows to see Paris giggling as she retreated her leg and Chan smirking in your way. You let a hint of disgust show on your face as you wandered your eyes between both of them, wondering why ordering Y/N’s favorite dish should be an event now.

  So what that you wanted to please her?

  “Isn’t that like your favorite dish, Y/N?” Paris decided to play innocent. The way you had to hold back to not kick her under the table ─ just like she had been doing with you every two minutes ─ was worthy of mention on Guinness Books.

    “Won’t you go to the kitchen to cook it?” Chan arched his brow playfully, and you closed your eyes to breathe deeply, trying to stay composed. You opened your eyes to stare at him, lips quivering as you held back a grimace and laughed it off sarcastically.

    Of course, Y/N laughed about it as well.

    So maybe on Saturday ─ when you finally acknowledge your feelings to Chan after he invited her over for lunch ─ you had let it all go to your head and tried to pretend you were a good cooker… But did he need to expose you like that? What a great friend you had! You kinda expected Chan to tease you about your feelings but you also thought it would be something more… Private, to say the least.

  So, I made it for you…  You had said to her and as soon as those words came out of your mouth, Chan chortled, almost choking on his food, throwing you an amused look.

  You meant made the order, right? He laughed, and Y/N giggled along with him, pushing your shoulder.

   “Fucking hilarious” You snickered, scrunching your nose “You should drop Med school and try to be a comedian or something… You’re so talented” You added, utterly done with them.

  “You make it too easy” Y/N mocked you, grinning as she rested her cheeks on her hands, leaning on the table “No, but seriously now!” She said, grinning dissolving to an attentive frown “Even though roasting Hyunjin is one of my favorites hobbies” You scoffed, rolling your eyes “Paris and I actually wanted to invite you guys to a party” You frowned at her conclusion, tilting your head, intrigued.

  “A party?” You decided to make sure, suspicious of it.

  “Yeah” Paris intervened, smiling at you “Minho got into a team!” She said excitedly, and you couldn’t help but snort, grimacing at her as if she had just told you the best joke ever.

  “So what? We don’t even talk to him” You pointed out, getting a nod from Chan, who also seemed curious about their suggestion “I mean… Congratulations to him! But why would I go to a party because of this?” You questioned, narrowing your eyes at Paris.

  “Well… Han—“ You chortled, poking your cheek with your tongue.

  “Really?” You sneered “So Han suddenly have the time and the urge to speak to you again?” You rolled your eyes “Unbelievable…” You darted your eyes at both of them, frowning “And both of you are going to go?” You gestured between them, arching your brow.

  “And hopefully you and Chan!” Paris chirped, trying to keep the mood at the table “Come on… He was having a hard time figuring everything out and finally, something worked for him!” She pleaded, offering you big doe eyes that didn’t make you flinch a bit “Come on, Hyunjin! Do it for the team!” She forced a smile, and you sighed, shoulders dropping as you did.

  “What in the hell makes you think that we would agree to go to his party?” You asked tiredly “You know far too well that I don’t like him… He hates me, he punched me, he hurt Y/N… I don’t have a single reason to talk to him” You enumerated, pulling one finger at a time as you did.

  “He’s our friend, Hyunjin” Y/N reminded you “We’ll keep talking and walking with him and if you both keep hating on each other it’ll make everything awkward” You scowled at her “Just saying!” She shrugged “You don’t need to come but Paris and I really want you and Chan to get along with him at some point” You tried to hold her gaze but ended up averting your eyes anyway, tsking.

    “Well… I don’t have anything against him” Chan shrugged “I don’t need to go to a party to hang out with him… I hung out with Paris wanting to choke her every once in a while for all this time!” He added, chuckling as she tried to slap his arm.

    “Will it hurt you to go to a party, Chan?” Y/N nagged, rolling her eyes and getting a chortle out of all of you “I’m counting on your Daddy vibes to keep Hyunjin under your wing and prevent them from fighting” She pouted, trying to convince him.

    Ridiculous and yet cute… What the hell.

    “I don’t even go to parties to have fun… Why would I ever go to babysit them?” He grimaced, arching his brow “Moreover… Pouting doesn’t work with me, Sweety” He smirked, patting her hand over the table “You’ll have to try a little bit harder” He sneered, and she kicked him under the table, smiling obnoxiously at him.

    “Was that hard enough?” She taunted.

  “What about a deal?” Paris interrupted, trying to negotiate “If we convince one of you to go by the end of the day, then both of you will come with us” She smirked, throwing you a smug look that made you scoff, tilting your head.

  “Deal” You shook her hand.

  There was no way that Chan would agree to go.

                                                                ////

  So you had a party on Saturday.

  “How the hell did you convince him?” You whined, looking at Paris in a devasted way as you sauntered through the campus, trying to find a bench to sit down. She chuckled, nudging you and taking a look at your face before grinning mischievously, shrugging her shoulders.

  “I have my ways…” She answered mysteriously, making you roll your eyes.

  “You’re working together to play matchmaker, aren’t you?” She stuck her lower lip out, tilting her head in a mocking way that said ‘who knows?’ and making you shake your head in disbelief “You’re sly as hell” You whined, getting a chortle from her.

  “Come on! You clearly need it!” She insisted “You’re being way too obvious, Hyunjin! Paying attention to her likings? Buying her coffee? Ordering food and pretending to cook it?” She snorted, grimacing at you playfully “Trying to seduce her with a half-opened shirt?” She broke into a fit of giggles, probably picturing the humiliating scene.

  “Look, I wasn’t thinking straight at the time” You scowled at her, pouting as you thought about it “If it really was that obvious, she would have said something by now” You pointed out, and Paris snickered, giving you a thumb up in mockery.

  “Yeah! Because Han was so subtle and she totally figured him out” She sneered, and you couldn’t bring yourself to disagree. In fact, Y/N was blind to any kind of romantic feelings. You could come with a bouquet and a love letter… She would still find a way to see it as a great gesture of friendship.

    You were too naïve for your own good.

  “It’ll be so cute to see the two of you dating!” She chirped, eyes twinkling as she clasped her hands together, finally sitting down on a bench. She looked straight at you, waiting for you to say something, but you couldn’t bring yourself to answer her at first.

    Dating? Who said anything about dating? You didn’t want to date her… You frowned as you looked at Paris, unsure of what to say to her as you cleared your throat, wondering how you should put it. Yes, you might be in love with her but… Dating? You snorted. A relationship demanded too much from you… Were you ready to attach to someone like this?

  You didn’t think so.

  “What is it?” She narrowed her eyes at you, suspicious of your behavior “Why do you look like…” She studied you from head to toes before settling her gaze on your face “…This?” She floundered her hand around, gesturing at you with a disgusted frown.

  “What do you mean?” You tried to play dumb, sitting down beside her.

  “You know far too well what I’m talking about” She accused, eyes narrowing once again “Hyunjin, by any means are you thinking about playing with Y/N as you do to the other girls?” She asked cautiously, searching for any sign on your eyes that confirmed her assumption.

  “Never” You reassured her, hand going to squeeze her knee “It’s just… I mean, I don’t think I’m ready to go all in, you know? Yeah, I like her and all this… She’s my dear friend and I may or may not be in…” You gulped down, eyes darting at her as you cleared your throat “…to her” You finished, afraid to speak your real feelings out loud.

  “In…To her?” She snorted, looking away for a second before throwing you a look “You’re in love with her, that’s what you are” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief “You never did anything like this before, Hyunjin… You’re the type of guy who has people throwing themselves at your feet” She acknowledges, and you shrugged smugly, a playful smirk playing on your lips “Tell me one time you tried so hard to get someone’s attention” She requested, crossing her arms and leaning back on the bench in a silent challenge.

    Romantically?

    Not even once.

    “Exactly” She grimaced, looking at you as if she could read your mind “If you don’t want to date her, why are you trying so damn hard? What is your point?” She asked skeptically, tilting her head as you opened your mouth to answer her.

  Just to close it again in wonder.

  She was right… Why were you trying to impress her so much if you had no intentions of actually getting into a relationship or something? It was more than obvious that Y/N wouldn’t be the kind to hook up with you and then just go with it… As far as you could tell, she had no experience in love. None. At all. There was no way she was going to just go with the flow and… And what? What were you expecting from all this?

  “Hey, Hyunjin” The husky voice got you out of your thoughts, making you realize that someone was standing right in front of you. Not only someone. You remembered her from… Maybe a month ago? You couldn’t even remember last time you got laid “I haven’t heard from you for a while…” She continued; tone still sexy enough to turn your smug façade on “New catch?” She asked, studying Paris for a second, a subtle smirk on her lips.

    “We’re just friends” Paris voiced your thoughts before you could, jolting her leg for you to let go of her knee. The girl chuckled, tilting her head as she seemed to eat Paris with her eyes, licking her lips before averting her eyes to you.

    “Yeah… I’ve been his friend a couple of times too” She joked, winking at you “If you guys are up to more friends…” She let her sentence hang in the air, shifting her gaze in a suggestive way that made you flustered. Good Lord… She was asking Paris to join your… Oh my God.

    “No need!” You blurted out, getting up abruptly “I mean- Do you want to be her friend?” You looked at Paris startled at the thought, getting furrowed brows that answered you right away “We don’t need any more friends, thank you!” You rushed to say, getting a blank stare before she averted her eyes to Paris, landing them on her for a few seconds.

    “I see…” She hummed, smiling at both of you mysteriously before throwing a few glances over her shoulder as she walked away.

    For some reason, it didn’t settle too well on your stomach.  

                                                        ////

    You snorted, rolling your eyes as you smirked at Paris.

    “I’m telling you!” She insisted, leaning forwards to slap Minho softly on the knee “The girl just came out of nowhere and suggested a threesome with me!” She laughed, leaning back on the chair as Minho huffed in disbelief.

    “There’s no way” He looked at you in awe “I’ve heard your reputation but… I mean- Where can I sign in?” He joked, arching his brows playfully as he chuckled. He crossed his arms, letting his body relax on the chair as he looked at you in amusement, tilting his head as he seemed to ponder something.

    It turned out that Minho wasn’t as unbearable as you thought.  

  “You’re not really my type” You fought back a smile as he scowled, nagging at you as he gestured mindlessly for you to get off of his tail “I guess you have to be born with a pretty face like me” You joked, and he groaned in answer, throwing his head back.

    “Is that what you need to get girls now? Have an obnoxious attitude like this?” He scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief as he connected his gaze to you again, trying to hide his smile “You’re not really my type either, baby boy” He scorned, grimacing at you sarcastically.

    “Who said he gets all the girls?” Paris teased, looking at you with grinning eyes that twinkled devilishly “A little bird told me that Hyunjin has a crush on someone and I haven’t seen him getting laid recently” You glared at her; lips quivering as you tried to hold back your frown.      

    “Wait” Y/N slowly raised her eyes from her beer, snapping them at you in surprise “You’re crushing on someone and everybody knows except me?” You paled, clearing your throat as you stared blankly at her, trying to think of an answer.

    That’s how blind you are…

    It’s not my fault you have such busybody friends!

    Yep! Because that’s you.

    “Aren’t you too interested in my love life?” You asked instead, trying to maintain a smug façade as you smirked at her, arching your eyebrow questioningly. She narrowed her eyes at you, seeing right through your attempt to change the subject. You hated when she did that… Yet, it was kinda endearing to know that she could figure you out like this.

    “I won’t even begin to talk about how you’re always meddling in my life” She raised her hand as if to tell you to stop with your bullshit “You’re a fuckboy and you’re not getting laid! How can I not be curious about this?” She scoffed, making you chortle.

    “I see… So you’re interested in my sex life” You corrected yourself, and she rolled her eyes “You can’t just live your sex life through me, sweetheart” You teased, pouting at her as she glared at you, clearly done with your teasing “You should have your own experiences… Actually having some sex instead of trying to stick your nose into my business” You chuckled as she huffed, poking her cheek with her tongue.

    “Who said I didn’t?” She arched her brow in a challenge.

    “What?” You asked, tilting your head in confusion as she gulped down her beer.

    “Who said I didn’t get laid?” She repeated, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared at you “I may not be like you but I had a share of affairs as well” She shrugged nonchalantly, and you could swear your jaw was on the ground by now.

    “You’re not a virgin?!” You blurted out in utter surprise hand snapping to your mouth as soon as the question slipped from your lips “Sorry! I didn’t mean to ask that” You rushed to say but she just snorted.

    “I always thought you were a virgin” Minho added anyway, sounding surprised as he frowned at you “You’re always working and eating hot dog… When the hell did you have the time to bang?” He asked in wonder, tilting his head “I can’t be the only one who’s not getting some here” He nagged, making you chortle.

    “You guys are too naïve” Paris chuckled “Y/N was clearly the cool mysterious kid that had a bunch of people over her feet!” She reasoned, gesturing to Y/N to make her point “It’s obvious that she got laid at some point of her life! Just look at her” She stated matter-of-factly, giving you all a know-it-all look.

    “Not really” Y/N chortled “I just got laid because I ended up hooking up with Chan—“ You could have choked to death right at that moment but as soon as you opened your mouth to gasp, Chan’s voice reached your ears, startling you to the point that your choking died on your throat.

    “Hey, Sweety!” He called, interrupting her “Can you come over here?” He gestured for her to get closer, and she frowned at him, suspicious of his behavior “I wanna talk to you” He added, making her sigh in surrender.

    You watched her making the way to Chan, attentive eyes glued on his figure as you tried to process what she had just said. So Chan and Y/N hooked up in the past? And they had sex?! You were kinda suspicious of them lately… You wouldn’t lie. The sheets all messed up in the morning? His comment on how she was like a beast? The way he inquired you about your feelings on that night? The way he held to the bulge incident? The way he spent over a week at her place?

    They had to have something going on…

    You clicked your tongue as you thought about it, furrowing your brows as she finally got to his side, being guided ─ and you didn’t fail to notice his hand on the small of her back ─ to somewhere more private. The thing that didn’t make any sense was that Chan was actually trying to help you out to get your feelings out of your chest… Why would he do that if he liked her? But again… Who said anything about liking? They could be just banging.

    “Wow” Minho said as soon as she left, looking at you and Paris “So the rumors are true? They’re together?” He arched his brows in awe. As soon as he arched his, you frowned yours, confused by his question. What rumors?

    “What are you talking about?” Paris asked, as lost as you.

    “Haven’t you guys heard about it? I’ve heard Chan has been visiting her at the library and there are even some rumors talking about how he spent the night at her dorm” He explained, trying to find any signs on both of you that confirmed those rumors “Chan is quite popular, so I guess people just tend to pay attention to it… He also called her sweety right now, didn’t he?” You scoffed, poking your cheek.

    “People talk too much” You reassured him “There is no way they’re dating… One of them would tell us” You looked into Minho’s eyes, shrugging “Never heard them fucking either” You added, shifting your gaze to Paris, looking for something that gave them away “So I guess those are just rumors…” You chuckled, trying to act nonchalantly.

    You weren’t so sure yourself though.

                                                       ////

Obviously I had to forget something LOL

Tag List: Guys, If you wish to get notifications to this fanfic, please go here

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 136

1. The M9 eventually find a way to catch up with Lucien and Cree (or even get in front of them) before they are able to go to the astral sea AND at least start the combat please and thanks (Bonus: Cree gets a wild magic effect that gives M9 some advantage or laughs).

OH NO an intuit charge they were ambushed! The TT were way ahead of them... They caught up though! Lucian and Cree are still there... oops never mind they got ahead AGAIN, no TT combat today. Well, astral sea here we come!

2. Caleb and Beau’s eyes come into play at some point but are helpful to them instead of being used against them (look, let me try to be optimistic).

They have true sight! They can communicate telepathically to ANYONE! Hey, at least they gained some magical abilities and SOME sort of profit from all that anxiety. The eyes were still used against them to sense their presence.

3. Some long one-on-one conversations between any characters please, I need the RP experience! Any two of them would have a great dynamic.

Welp, I mean, combat time! Combat is also good, who needs RP anyways :(

4. More wild magic effects from casting in Aeor! Jester, Essek, Caduceus, Veth I’m looking at y’all. Caleb and Fjord already had their fun, but I won’t say no to more. (Bonus: the effects are harmless and fun ones like how they have been).

Oh no Veth... Is tiny... At least it didn’t cost any hit points? CALEB IS A SHEEP THAT WALKED INTO THE PORTAL LMAO. That was one of the wild magic effects that I wanted to see the most and it was as funny as possible.

5. Even more Aeorian ruin exploration and finding clues that may help them with the city business, but no more side combats before getting to the TT.

Caleb rolled 31 arcana on the runic circle wow transmutation + dunamancy! Temporal alteration! 31 on investigation too wow Caleb, “primal artifact”? TIME TRAVEL?? So that’s why it’s called the Temporal Dock! Also, wow, they actually did not enter any other side combats before TT, using stealth and magic. They were forced into a side combat after getting to them though.

6. Beau and Yasha continue with their PDA AND have a private moment together (let’s hope for both, because why not).

“Yasha your hair looks really great” lol Beau is not wasting any time is she. Yasha’s defensive “she’s wonderful” was ooc but cute lol. “Anything for my princess” lmao stop you guys. No private moment, but close enough.

7. Jester and Fjord heal each other at some point OR have more physical contact (they were so cute last episode).

Jester healed Fjord! I’m sad it had to happen but it was a good heal too. Jester also picked up the paralyzed Fjord after the intuit charges!

8. Continuing to hope for Essek’s fancy dunamantic spells OR magical items (I felt Caleb so hard last episode, I too am attracted to power and skills).

Purple sparkling dunamancy fly wings oh YEAH. Thanks for maintaining concentration on Cad you beautiful war caster you.

9. Veth and Fjord diss each other at some point OR exhibit support for each other, I love their love-hate relationship.

“Fjord can shape water... yes you can, you got it” lol Also the discussion about Veth preparing featherfall and Fjord’s “yes thank you Veth”. The “marine layer” argument lol - sounded both supportive and like a diss.

10. Continuing to hope for Caleb to polymorph into anything really, or using polymorph on any party member (polymorph! Caleb interactions my beloved, this is just going to be a permanent feature on my wish list now).

Intelligence 2 SHEEPLEB MY BELOVED BWAHAHAHAHAH I love this so much. It’s not exactly polymorph, but he is a sheep guys, that counts.

11. Mention of Davexian/Charlie at some point in time (bonus: Veth does it).

Lmao Beau mentioned Davexian right away, and Veth gave a reaction right away. I did not expect a mention so soon but here we are.

12. Jester continuing to be the braincell holder of the team and keeps everybody on task (go queen I love you).

YEAH go get that natural 20 Jester! Keep track of what floor it is! She also urges them to keep moving.

13. Essek and Caleb have more of their deep wizard conversations and interactions OR be impressed by each other at some point (Bonus: another party member mentions/addresses whatever they’ve got going on).

YES wow the temporal dock scene. Also Jester thanks for the mention lol. “It’s complicated” sounds about right. 

14. Cad attempting to speak with the dead on the remaining TT members (there are still Otis and Zoran) and learning some useful information.

Well... it’s kind of too late for that.

15. Jester sees Artagan again and we finally find out what Caleb was seeing during that commune and that scry (I need answers please! Don’t try to distract me with everything else going on, I won’t fall for it).

IT WAS TRUE SIGHT? It was true sight and Beau was just not close enough! Sprinkle whispering in Jester’s ear?? Someone’s theory I saw here was true good for you! Arty has been sprinkle all along that’s why sprinkle is alive.

16. More discussion about dunamancy in Aeor and the Luxon (I’d love to know how Essek is feeling about their discovery and get his thoughts on it).

Well... time travel magic circles are certainly dunamancy. Essek is as excited as you would expect him to be - very.

17. A successful divine intervention from either cleric! (Bonus: that allows them to stop the TT)

Nope, but it may happen next week? Maybe?

18. Heroes’ feast and we learn more about the food/drink preferences or other fun facts from everybody (Bonus: great roll on the HP boon from the feast).

Welp well they ain’t gonna get that one extra hour. 

19. I know they are not gonna see the tower but I still kinda want to see Essek’s room look it’s going to stay on this wish list until it happens.

Yeah I mean I didn’t really expect this to come true any time soon. 

20. Somebody pushes a red button, again (Bonus: it’s someone we don’t expect to push the button).

I mean, Beau went underwater to grab the magical potions, that was kinda button-pushing, but it’s to be expected. She is an expositor! She investigates!

21. Cad continuing to be a MVP in combat as always OR have an amazing non-combat idea/discovery.

Cad got Yasha up as soon as she was down! ALSO that shield of retribution force damage was AWESOME. The invisibility was so smart!

22. You know the drill by now - everyone remains relatively happy and alive by the end of the episode except Lucien and Cree (they can perish), and the episode ends on a terrifying cliffhanger as always (Bonus: they end up in the Astral Sea and that’s where we finish the episode).

Wow that bonus part is a PERFECT PREDICTION if I do say so myself. I knew that getting into the Astral Sea would be a good cliffhanger. I’m figuring it out guys.

Seriously though please stay safe and alive M9 (and yes Essek is included) that’s all I want.

Nobody has been dead so far, so I’m as happy as I can be!

Score: 16/22 

Other highlights:

Their exploration last episode paid off with the teal keycard! I knew it even distractions can be helpful!

Essek rolled a 30! On stealth! WOO his first great roll probably, Matt sounded so proud of him too. Also that clutch war caster concentration save too, he is finally rolling better (well, slightly).

Caleb’s decisive wall of force and two correct-level dispel magic saved everybody twice, competent as always. I love him so much (also, sheepleb my beloved).

NICE SAVE VETH THANK YOU omg what a queen with the mage hand, truly a 2000 IQ move made by a genius. Jester is safe I’m so happy!!

Wow, what an episode! As always, CR cast gave me such a wonderful night of tension, humour, action and intrigue. I am so happy and thankful that I get to witness this story unfold! I cannot wait for next Thursday, already. I am nervous about their astral sea journey, but I trust in the cast and they will always deliver a great story.

(Plus, maybe they can actually save Yussa now, pretty please?) :D

[sugiwa]

Hi. I am the Advice Anon. Please ignore those asks! I am so sorry for spamming your ask box. I still need help, so I’ll paste the entire thing over here. Again, sorry and thank you! Have a great day!

My reply and the full ask are below:

Hello! I hope you’ve been having a great day so far. This is probably unlike all of the other asks you get on a daily basis, author. However, I am in dire need of help, and I have turned to you. Before I begin, I want to apologize in advance, as this ask is going to be long. Now, like I said before, I need some help. You see, I am a freshman in high school, and school hasn’t even been going on for a full 10 weeks (a quarter), and I am already in a huge, messy, sticky situation. You probably already know that in high school, you need a certain number of credits in each field to be able to graduate. I am going to be extremely vague about this because it doesn’t really matter, and I’d really like to remain anonymous, if you know what I mean. One of the fields is World Languages and Visual Arts. Obviously, I am not talented enough to do Visual Arts, so I opted for World Languages instead. My teacher for the course I chose this year… she’s nice. Really kind, and I love that she makes learning a whole new language and culture, which is extremely hard, so much fun. And the fact that she’s one of the nicest teachers I know makes the rest of this so, so painful for me. 4 days ago, for me, was a Thursday. In this class, we had a vocab quiz that day (background info: two days before every quiz, my teacher posts a practice quiz to be done before class starts). I don’t really want to discuss what happened, as it still brings tears to my eyes, but I will give you a vague summary of what was going on. Basically, I couldn’t access my quiz (it was online), so my teacher told me to come in after school to re-do it. I was supposed to close down my computer and work on homework from another class, but instead of doing so, I worked on the practice quiz. And… this was considered cheating, because I was getting extra practice in before taking the quiz– something that the other students didn’t get, you know? My teacher saw my computer screen, and told me that she’d talk to me after school, and she’d be calling home. I couldn’t concentrate for the rest of the class, because I was afraid of what might happen when she called home. After school, she told me to speak with her, and be honest about it. When cheating happens, at our school, the teacher will write us up for Academic Dishonesty and give it to the administration, who then decides the consequences. My teacher had told me that if I was honest with her, she wouldn’t write my up; she’d just give me a zero on the quiz and call home and tell them what I did. I was honest with her, because like I said before, I was afraid. Once I told her everything that happened, she told me that I could call home, let them know what happened myself, and I’d be off the hook (with a zero on the quiz, of course). So, I called home, like she had asked of me, but… they didn’t pick up. I told her that they didn’t pick up, and she told me that it was fine, and that she’d talk to my parents in-person before they picked me up from school. I’m not going to lie, that terrified me more than calling home. I don’t really remember what happened after that, because I was too busy crying, but I do remember that she mentioned something about me doing this before, and that it was not OK to do it the second time, but she’d let me off the hook. The thing is, I am 100% sure I haven’t done this before… or maybe she just didn’t approach me the first time. I told her that I didn’t do this before, and she told me that I was lying again, and began to write me up. I told her that I didn’t mean to do this, and that I was sorry, but she told me to stop lying. She said that she DID approach me the first time I did this, and that I was rude to her then. This brought tears to my eyes– my kind of favorite teacher telling me that I was rude to her. You see, I didn’t grow up here, and although I’ve lived here for 4 years, I am not used to the way people interact here. It was very different where I grew up. For example, you didn’t ask each other how their day was, or what they did during their day, unless you were REALLY curious or concerned, because that was considered nosy and rude. So, I tend to be unintentionally rude, and completely oblivious to it; I have no idea when I’m being rude or not, unless someone specifically says so. I also don’t really understand people well, so that’s a huge problem. So… hearing this from her, really hurt. I told her that I didn’t intend to be rude, and I was trying my best to change (I mean, I was & am reading a book to teach me etiquette and all), and she replied with “that’s good to hear”. Then, when my parents came to pick me up, she talked to them, and even asked one of my parents to walk with us to the Administration Office to turn in the write up. Stuff happened, I got called into the Assistant Principal’s office, and now I have a zero on my quiz (and my homework activity that I never finished), Saturday School, and a black mark on my record. But the thing is… that’s not what I’m concerned about at all. Sure, getting my grades up in time for Progress Reports is going to be an extremely hard task, and Saturday School is going to leave a huge black mark on my record, but that’s not what I’m worried about. My grades have been fractured, but so has my relationship with this teacher. I feel as though she hates me now, that she has lost all trust in me. (Background info: our school does Odd and Even days, so I have half of my classes on one day and half on the other, so that means that I didn’t face my teacher at all on Friday) 3 days ago, on Friday, when I went to school, it was an average day. It would have been an amazing day, had it not been for the situation I was in. All I could think about that day was my World Language teacher. And just thinking about her, and about that classroom, it… gives me a bit of anxiety. This is where I need your help. What would you do if you were in my situation? I really want to repair my relationship with my teacher, because I know that she’s really important; we’re going to be on the same campus for the next 4 years of my life, and even more importantly, she’s going to be my teacher for the next 8 months. I want to graduate with good grades, but more importantly, I want to graduate without holding a grudge against my teacher. I want her to like me, and I want to gain her trust again. Today is a Sunday for me, and I have to go back to school tomorrow, and I have her class then. A part of me is really scared to go to school, a part of me is really angry at my teacher for reporting me (even though it was the right thing to do), and a part of me wants to ditch school tomorrow, or even drop out or transfer from her course, all because I don’t want to face her after I did the wrong thing. It’s not only that, either. I’ve also been avoiding my friends. Would you like to know why I am confiding in awesome strangers on the internet anonymously instead of letting my friends know what’s going on? It’s because I’m afraid that they won’t like me anymore, and they’d ditch me or something. They’re amazing people, and I know that they won’t do that, but a part of me is still paranoid. I’ve been avoiding my friends since Friday, barely talking to them at school, and texting them a little bit in our group chat. They don’t really suspect anything, but that’s good. And that’s why I am asking you. Not just you, but actually anyone who sees this, if they helped me, I’d really appreciate it. I really need help moving forward in this situation, and I’m desperate for help. My parents don’t understand the situation I’m in, and I’m too scared to talk to my friends about it, so I’d really appreciate the help. It’s OK if you don’t reply to this, author. I know that this doesn’t affect you in any way, so you’re not obliged to help me. I’d like to thank you for taking the time from your day to read these extremely long asks. Have a great day. P.S: I absolutely love What Heroes Do! Izumi is such a well written character, and sometimes, I see myself in her. The way she handles situations is so inspirational! And your writing skills are top-tier! My best friend and I actually started writing a book 4 years ago (I mean, we wrote for one month in 6th grade, and then spent one day in 8th grade editing it, and we’ve only got a prologue and 1.5 chapters done, so… clearly, we aren’t doing a good job lol), and you’ve inspired me to go back to that book and re-do it! Thank you so much for being such an inspiration and an idol of mine! Ilysm ❤️

sugiwa:

I wanted to take the  proper time to reply to this. I think any adult willing to hold a grudge against a child is in the wrong. You clearly made a mistake and are now taking steps to improve and learn from it. Additionally, I think teachers tend to forget how much stress students are under in their academic and private lives, so a mistake should be used as an opportunity to teach not punish. I don’t think that you should worry about what this teacher thinks of you. Your teacher didn’t believe you, despite you telling them the truth. No matter how kind or nice someone is, their behavior towards you will always reflect their inner thoughts. If you’ve clearly made a mistake, you should fight to prove that. It’s not as if you intended to ‘cheat,’ given the situation we’re all in with the pandemic, online classes and quizzes are the norm. These kinds of things probably happen regularly. Additionally. I don’t think you need to concern yourself with being rude. My culture is rather blunt and when I first moved here, people weren’t fans of brutal honesty, so it was a big cultural shock.  If people aren’t willing to learn about your culture and understand, then I don’t think they’re people worth hanging out with. Lean on your friends, I don’t think they’d make a big deal over a couple of mistakes and if they do, then it might be worth reconsidering why you were friends with them. 

Thank you for your kind words about the story and I really hope everything works out for you!!

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

"Won't it suck, Cas?" Dean declares, as Castiel enters their room with bags hoisted on both shoulders, and elbows the door shut behind him - because apparently when you're pretending to date in front of your parents, sometimes they turn out awesome enough for you to get to - or, Dean supposes he should say, have to share a room.

Cas puts the bags down, next to their bed.

"Won't it totally, and completely, and really suck if our cover blew?"

"Who suspects what?" Cas turns, with a frustrated frown. Which soon flips to a planning, expressionless face. "Because I've still got some of those baking-stories left. I believe I can swing them into a conversation." Cas folds his arms. "And you should come with me. You tell them great, because it's the one thing which isn't a lie."

That - isn't completely fair.

A lot of things, at least as far as Dean sees them, have not been lies.

Dean does make Cas coffee every morning, sometimes takes it to his bedroom too, and Cas does do most of the shopping for the flat - there's this inside joke Dean has going with Cas's brother Gabriel, that the employees at Walmart are terrified of Cas because he once threatened someone over pie, which he never forgets, and Dean always gets so soft over that story.

They do share clothes sometimes, even if it's just ratty t-shirts they'll never wear outside, and they do have movie nights every Thursday where Dean comes up with amazing films and Cas unpreventably falls asleep in the middle of them. And they did name all of Cas's bees one night, drunk and dreamy on the balcony.

Sure, they don't fall asleep in each other's arms later, or do the couple-y things they've had to edit into otherwise real stories, but Dean thinks he makes up for it by being in all kinds of love with Cas.

Not that Cas knows, of course.

"Well, I don't doubt that you've got enough adorability ammo." Dean returns, grinning. "We are pretty cute, to be fair. And, nope." He clarifies. "Nobody doubts that we're not dating yet."

When opportunity had presented itself a couple weeks ago, at the beginning of December, Dean had found in himself just enough courage to ask Cas if he'd be okay with being his fake-date for New Year's, since he was spending it with the Winchesters anyways - adding hurriedly, that if Cas felt weirdly about it at all, he could drop the idea right there, and he'd quietly just go off in search of someone else and not bring it up again.

Cas had blinked at him a few times before saying okay, and what a wonderful understatement that had been because by the time they had to leave for Kansas, Cas was more invested in the program than he'd ever been.

"Yet?" Cas recoils, eyebrows knitted together. "What are you implying, Dean?"

What had started off as a means to shirk off lectures from his family, was now being treated like a mission. But as of the moment, sitting cross-legged on the edge of the bed - Dean is happy. He's around the people he loves most, and well-fed on a heavy homemade lunch and two beers, and he's feeling light-hearted and brave.

"Tonight's fireworks night." Dean shrugs, trying to go for nonchalant and hoping he lands in non-shy, at the very least. "Out by the riverfront, sitting on blankets on the grass, and staring up at the night sky - the whole shebang."

"So?"

"People will probably expect us to kiss." Dean clears his throat, studying Cas's face for reactions. There's nothing for him there, but he doesn't stop staring. "And since we can't do that, we might -"

"I -" Cas interrupts, and maybe he's blushing a little. Jesus, Dean hopes he is. "I can."

Dean raises his eyebrows.

"Kiss, I mean."

And fuck that fucking fucker for not specifying that he can kiss Dean, because those words, strung together in a sentence and delivered in Cas's glorious fucking voice would've automatically sent Dean to paradise.

Dean's run out of things to say so he lets out a sound that's supposed to be the wordless equivalent of a 'huh'.

"I-if we had to." Cas adds, uncertainly. "Couldn't you?" He asks, and the ball is back in Dean's pitiable court.

"No, yeah." Dean supplies, and his voice cracks unhelpfully. He clears his throat and braves on to previously untraversed territory. "I could. Sure, I could."

That's one too many, and Dean wants to swallow his words back but Cas has already heard them, and there's a slow smile stretching slowly on his features.

"Then what's the problem?"

"It'd be obvious," Dean answers him, matter-of-factly. "Way too obvious that it's our first kiss. The, uh." He can't believe he's actually saying these words. "Being that close, basically. First times are bound to be weird - just the very newness of someone's lips on yours." He's goddamn rambling but he isn't going to be the first to acknowledge whose, either.

Cas's cheeks are sufficiently pink by now for Dean to feel a little bit triumphant. But then it's his turn. "You're not wrong." He begins, nodding seriously, in spite of his flustered voice. "It takes all couples a while to fall into rhythm. Sync up pace, get comfortable touching each other, and grow familiar with their partner's technique."

They're both just saying words now, and it doesn't really mean much - in fact, it's infinitesimal as compared to the lengths being exchanged by means of a long-held stare.

Questions are proposed within the silence, and permissions are granted in whispers.

"Not for nothing," Dean finally says out loud. "But maybe we should get the first time out of the way."

Cas steps closer, and there's a twinkle in his eye. "Maybe we should." Dean keeps on staring, his tongue shooting out to wet his lips. "Maybe, right away."

Dean stands up, breathing out traces of a 'yes' and Cas is right there. He's so close, and so gorgeous, and just that one inch shorter - so Dean can just lean in and Cas will probably go on his toes a little bit, and it'll be like they're meeting in the middle, and -

Dean's so lost thinking about it that he almost misses the first spark which goes through him like goddamn electricity in his veins, when Cas's hand cups his cheek, fingers splayed on his neck and thumb oh-so-close to his lips.

Dean can feel his breath hitch when Cas gently runs the pad of his thumb across the bottom lining of Dean's lower lip, and he doesn't have a single thought in his head except for Cas, Cas, Cas, as he reaches forward to grab the lapels of his coat and closes the gap.

He knows he's probably expected to ingest the intricacies of how the kiss feels - the details of Cas's taste and smell and touch; the curve of his lips, the stubble across his jaw, and his hand on Dean's face.

But far from mapping Cas's fucking technique - Dean can't even process when he's supposed to pull back. All he can do is stay, hands entangled in Cas's coat, and trapped between them, eyes closed but all other senses overly sensitive to everything Cas does.

It's not like he doesn't do his bit, but that's all instinct - his brain's signed out for the day, and this is just his nerves in command. It should be terrifying, feeling this lost - or more appropriately, afloat, in the middle of a kiss, but as their noses bump and lips collide, in slightly different angles each time they pull off to gasp for breath, it just feels right.

It feels real.

Their first kiss isn't just one kiss, Dean muses, as they separate finally but linger. It's an amalgamation of a thousand kisses, and a half a thousand breaths because Cas kept taking his away - and it's the way Cas's hand came to rest on Dean's arm, and Dean's fingers clutching a soft material which is more Cas than anything else he owns, and it's every little everything, and then some.

"Wow." Dean sighs, and he doesn't even regret sounding as overwhelmed as he does. "Cas, I - wow."

He's never been kissed like that.

Cas looks back at him a little starry-eyed, and proceeds to relax into a gummy smile instead of words - and it's happy, and lovely, and perfect.

"I might be wrong," He mutters, stepping ahead, and there's no space left, so Dean falls back to sit on the bed in surprise. "But second kisses can be pretty tricky too."

"Right." Dean scoots on backwards on the mattress, and Cas follows, climbing on the bed. "Right, yeah, with all the pressure from the first -"

"And the relatively newfound elements of intimacy -"

"And the -" Dean tries to add, but Cas is unbelievably kissable, just leaning over him, with his smile and his eyes and his hands, and Dean stops himself short. "We just really shouldn't risk it."

And that's all the preamble before he's pulled Cas over him, lips desperately seeking out all the right places to be, and their hands all over the place like they're trying to make up for years of tension in a single minute - but after a while, they're back to kissing slow and deep and warm, and he's wrapped his hands around Castiel's neck - and Castiel's fingers ghost over his spine every now and then, from where his hands rest on Dean's waist -

And it's everything Dean's ever wanted it to be.