#i hope you're all doing fine
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first sims post in how long!?! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
#sims 4#the sims 4#ts4#ts4 cas#simblr#almost forgot how to make sims lol#i hope you're all doing fine#life lifed for a second#and still is haha
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Lost soul, wandering through mist and snow...
Do you feel the touch of iron cold?
The Last Winter Knight is an atmospheric Gothic visual novel I'm currently developing, where you play as a ghostly knight haunting a suit of armour!
You wake up as a ghost, with no memory of who you were or how you died. The only clue to your past is the empty suit of armour you now possess.
As you explore an abandoned castle and piece together your memories, you’ll uncover your tale: A tale of broken promises, regret, and bonds that last beyond death.
But your story doesn’t have to die with you.
How will you write its ending?
Wishlist on Steam
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#visual novel#the last winter knight#indie vn#knights#indie dev#oelvn#fantasy#gothic#don't mind this new post with updated visuals i hope you're all doing fine#new cover art reveal!! ajhksd#and new ui!!!#eli's devlog
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hum!Welcome Home sketches!!!
For some reason lately I've started thinking about beta!Wally and ordinary Wally.... I make headcannons and think about the difference between these two, even though they have the same appearance 🤨🤨🤨🥄 (my first attempts to draw a beta!Wally. two versions, because I'm undecided)
AND THEN HOWDY, BECAUSE I ADORE HIM..... YEAH (I'm still thinking about what I want him to look like in my artstyle—)
redraw (You are what you eat, they said. But I don't remember eating such a handsome man. Thanks to @//eechytooru for the idea :]]
I dunno how to comment on this, so just keep more sketches ☠️
#I hope you all haven't forgotten me huh#If you're interested I'm doing fine right now :⁰]#I've met a lot of cool artists and now I'm talking to them#I also finally got a huge plush rhinoceros beetle. I've wanted it since August but I haven't had the opportunity to buy this bro—#I hope that you are doing well. Don't forget to drink water and get a good night's sleep :]#welcome home#sketches#wally darling#howdy pillar#art#welcome home wally#beta wally#human wally darling#barnaby b beagle#artists on tumblr#welcome home barnaby
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House M.D. but it's when a character says the name of the episode
#house md#prince's talk tag#flashing#repitition#so as i was watching this show i noticed they'd say the episode title in the episode#so i wanted to see how many times they did it#the people on livejournal who made transcripts of the episodes are my saviors and without them this would of been so much harder to do#thank you all for your service and i hope wherever you all are you're having a great day#sometimes they would use a variation of the word like in the episode poison they would say 'poisoned' or 'poisoning'#i did not include those instances#there was an instance in 'merry little christmas' where they do play the song in the show#but since ella fitzgerald was not a character in the show i did not include it#where as in the episode 'joy to the world' the students are singing it in the concert so i did include that#i apologize for the tonal whiplash when you get to that part but it did make me laugh#one of the times kutner says 'locked in' is overshadowed by the POTW's voice over but i assure you he says it and thats why its in there#out of the main characters from the one who said the title the most to least are#House > Foreman > Wilson > Chase > Cuddy > Adams > Cameron and Taub > Kutner > Thirteen and Park#this took a bit to do lolol its probably been done already but i wanted my own#there is a chance im missing some on technicalities but idc. im fine with this#there are two more i wanna do but with a character saying another character's name but ill do that some other time#EDIT: When I was making this video I was unaware that the Pilot episode went by two names: 'Pilot' and 'Everybody Lies'#Basically everywhere I looked the first episode was only referred to by 'Pilot'#which I found weird bc i remember seeing somewhere that the last episode was paired with the first episode in terms of title#but i couldn't find hard proof so I decided to leave it out at the time#well i checked again last night and yea the pilot IS also called Everybody Lies so I updated the video#I also think it goes well with the fact that House does say 'Everybody Dies' in the finale so another reason to fix it#AND he says it without Wilson while he and Wilson say the title of the pilot sooooo yea hehehehehe
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Mecha Sonic, in what way is the echidna an obstacle for you?
#mecha sonic#knuckles the echidna#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#me when i have opinions about the master emerald. i get why they dont do more with it in the games and such but sometimes i wish they did.#arting#msab#anyway i hope everyone likes his stupid shitty swivel whitedoard for his plans and schemes#eggman was like FINE if your ass wanna plot so bad. but that's ALL you're getting
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I never thought I'd say this, but there's no way I'm one of the only ones here that isn't chronically online. Right? Right??
#PLEASE don't tell me this is genuinely how all of you view this#I'm not gonna make a longer post unless prompted but. there's no way so many of you are this chronically online. there's just no way#I mean this is the nicest way possible btw#some of y'all need to get some friends IRL. like genuinely.#if y'all are thinking that its evil to draw teens smoking weed or for there to be 2 year age gaps in high school relationships-#you do NOT know enough people. I'm being serious#don't get me wrong; some of the things being talked about are serious issues#(I am basically only referring to Louis when I say this. I hope you're doing okay man)#but the rest is stuff that is just so stupid I swear#I don't like engaging in drama hence why I'm not gonna tag the fandom or make this a big post outside of the tags#So much of this is the kind of thing you'd see in a 2018 DA ranters video and that is NOT a good thing#the combination of a lack of nuance + being teens with no life experience + hard opinions is soooooo ass#like this feels like the beginning of a clique who hates artistic expression#I saw one of the posts talking about how people in this fandom should basically be only wholesome or else you're evil and just. What??#Not how art works. not how liking a thing works. stop trying to police the people around you#when I say 'you' I am referring to the amorphous blob of people I'm targeting this rant at and not everyone btw#and I thought that me with my mental health testing approved black & white thinking pattern was bad. god damn#sorry for these tags being so long and ranty I just needed to yap about how I think a lot of this is stupid#if anyone following me doesn't want to follow me anymore due to this that's fine. idrc tbh#I could also like explain anything I mean in an actual post if anyone is confused by any of this#but otherwise this is my two cents#andy rambles
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Happy Halloween! 👻🎃
#hello everyone#I hope you're all enjoying your booping on this fine spooky night#usually I would do a drawing but the best I can offer right now is a collection of spooky screenshots
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Whump Reference Post for Fingernail Removal Torture
Hi whump writers of Tumblr! I recently made a little introduction post in which I said I’d be making reference posts. This is one I already had typed up, because for some reason this was the first thing I thought of.
There are no images attached, but I’m putting the rest of the post under a readmore since the majority of the content is semi-graphic written description of the how-to’s and wherefore’s and such of fingernail removal torture.
To be clear: I will be going into as much depth as I possibly can without using images. The content of this post will be purely academic. There will be no artistic liberties taken. This post is meant to be as accurate to (and descriptive of) a real-life situation as possible.
I hope some part of this post eventually winds up being a helpful resource for someone!
1) Not as painful as it’s made out to be
-It's painful, but definitely not to the extent it’s shown in movies or whatnot. A lot of the "pain" comes from the shock factor of seeing your body without something it’s always had, as well as the inherent "wrongness" that comes with experiencing a part of your body being removed.
2) There is very very thin film of skin between the fingernail and the finger.
-If one is careful in removing the fingernail by peeling it back slowly, one can preserve this thin piece of skin. -If one pulls the fingernail back quickly and without taking care, this thin film will rip, and the nail will pull away with bits of flesh attached.
3) The flesh under the nail will be vertically striated.
-If one uses the peel-back method, and is careful to not let the thin film of skin between the nail and the flesh rip, the skin/flesh underneath the nail will be as visibly striated as the fingernail itself. If you look closely at your fingernail right now, you’ll see that there are many tiny grooves from the tip of your nail to the base. This is true for all human fingernails. If the nail is peeled back with sufficient care, those striations will be echoed on the skin underneath the nail.
4) The “peel entirely off” method versus the "peel back and then stop" method versus the "pull out entirely" method.
-The “peel entirely off” method is how I will refer to the method of grasping firmly the tip of the fingernail in some sort of vice (usually pliers) and then peeling it backwards, moving the pliers from the nail at the tip of the finger towards the hand itself. Using this method, the nail will remain firmly grasped in the pliers the entire time. The movement of the pliers only stops when the base of the nail is ripped entirely out of the finger. This will necessarily result in ripping out a fair bit of skin past the cuticles, as the technical base of the nail (aka “nail matrix”) is generally around half a centimeter hand-wards past the cuticles (and follows the curve of the nail, so is deeper than the cuticles as well). Due to the nature of skin, I would expect a tear reminiscent of an extremely deep hangnail that goes from the base of the cuticles to at least halfway between the first and second knuckle (and at most goes to the second knuckle). In this case, it is not guaranteed that the nail will grow back. There is a chance it’ll come back, but there is also a chance that the nail matrix is permanently damaged and will not be able to grow a new nail. Since every human is different, there’s not an exact science to determining where a person’s nail matrix is before it’s ripped out. A (very) general rule of thumb is to follow the curve of the existing fingernail, and draw a point on that curve before it hits bone. Obviously, this is extremely subjective.
-The “peel back and then stop” method is how I will refer to what is essentially the previous method, but one stops before the nail-ripping goes past the cuticle and snips off the peeled part, leaving a milimeter or so of fingernail existing on the nailbed. In this case, it is assured that the nail matrix is undisturbed, and the fingernail will grow back. This is the method I will assume is taken for the future steps
-The “pull out entirely” method is how I will refer to the situation where one grasps the protruding part of the nail firmly, and applies force away from the hand and in the direction the finger points. In this case, there’s a large chance that the nail will rip. This depends largely on the care taken with the pulling object (pliers, usually) to grab the nail exactly parallel with the sides of the pliers. If any part of the pliers digs into the nail at a singular location, this will create a point at which pressure will build up, and the nail will likely rip at this location. The strength of the individual’s nails also affects the ripping. The individual’s nail strength can vary based on nourishment as well as on a general person-to-person basis. Personally, I do not recommend this method.
-If one wants to make the removal definitely permanent, there’s the possibility of peeling it back all the way down and out, and then chemically burning where one assumes the nail matrix is. (Some serious irl hikers do this to their toenails on purpose, to reduce the chances of getting ingrown toenails from being laced into hiking boots for days on end.) Removing the nail permanently will obviously reduce the opportunity to peel it off again, but will give a permanent Horrific Aspect to the victim.
5) For the first three days, the exposed flesh will be painful.
-The entire tip of the finger will be a constant deep and throbbing pain. Any deviation from this norm will be an increase in pain, never a decrease (save medication or an ice-bath-for-full-minutes immersion to the point of numbness).
-Any contact with the exposed nailbed will increase the pain. Knocking the exposed flesh against anything, even extremely gently, will result in a visible bright red welt under the thin layer of skin (bright red on light skin only! on darker skin, the welt will still be visible, but will show as a dark red-brown). It is a visual similar to an extremely tiny, non-protruding blood blister. Knocking the nailbed against something less gently will result in fully scraping off that delicate outer layer of skin.
-Using the finger for anything will be painful (though not unbearably so), and it may even be painful to bend the finger at all.
-Any moisture on the exposed flesh (including anything from regular water to antibiotic ointment) will hurt a lot. This will intensify the throbbing at least twofold across the entire nailbed, and will also result in an amount of stinging as if one had just realized one had been stung by a bee.
6) For treatment and healing thereof (if quick healing is desired)
For those first three days, any bandaid application is inadvisable -The exposed flesh will be so tender and vulnerable that any bandaid (even the non-stick kind) will stick to the exposed flesh and rip it upon removal. I can only assume this is in part due to the curvature of the finger, which means that any wrapping-around type bandaid will inherently put pressure on the nailbed, resulting in sticking.
-To promote healing, the first three days should be without any sort of covering on the wound.
After the first three days, a scab will form. -At this point, the pain will be much less. it might be uncomfortable to bump the nailbed into objects, but it will not be the same pain as in the first three days.
-The wound will also be much less sensitive to moisture.
-When the scab starts to crack (usually a vertical crack), one should apply antibiotic ointment and a bandaid. At this point in the proess, it is desired for the scab to remain as consistently moist as possibly. This will help the scab fall off when it is ready to do so.
-At this point, the finger can be used normally (within reason) without much (if any) pain.
After two or three days with the bandaid covering, the scab will start to fall off.
-One may expedite this process if one is careful.
-At this point, the skin on the nailbed is sensitive to the touch, but not to the point of pain.
-There will be some dry, loose skin around the edges of the nailbed.
-The previously visible striation will no longer be there.
-Pressure on the exposed nailbed will not be necessarily painful, but it will feel decidedly Odd. Though not painful, It will be an extremely sensitive area.
-The nailbed will be a delicate pinkish color.
Around a week after the initial scab falls off, there will appear to be another scab. It will be a relatively thin layer of dry, dead skin.
-If the nail is allowed to grow normally, it is likely that it will cover this second scab before it has the chance to fall off.
-If the stub of the fingernail is trimmed routinely, it is possible for the scab to fall off, leaving only relatively smooth unblemished skin where the nailbed is. This skin will be roughly the same color and texture as the skin on the tip of the finger.
7) The rate at which fingernails grow back is extremely slow
-The average growth rate is about 3.5 milimeters per month. There are several factors that can cause this to vary:
-Fingernails on the dominant hand grow back faster than the nails on the non-dominant hand.
-Fingernails grow back faster than toenails.
-Nails grow back faster in warm weather than in cold weather.
-Depending on the nail and the aforementioned conditions, one can expect a total regrowth time of anywhere from three to six months (or more).
8) Life Without Fingernails
-Fingernails affect a large part of our everyday lives. We mostly use them when we’re manipulating objects with our hands, and we use them to scratch. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s a lot. It’s hard to explain just how weird it is to not have fingernails to someone who’s never experienced it, but here goes:
-Fingernails are the Hard Backs used to brace our fingers against a hard shell when we manipulate something with our hands. If you pinch your fingers together right now, you’ll see a white band along the top of your fingernail. This is where the pressure from the pinching goes; it’s braced against your nail.
-Picking something up without fingernails feels extremely odd the first few hundred times you do it. It takes a long time to get used to it.
-Writing is even worse. Without the hard shell backing your fingers, the pencil tends to slip out of your grip more often. If you usually have long enough fingernails that you balance your pen/pencil on them, you’re extremely likely to have the pencil completely slip out of your grip multiple times a sentence.
-You don’t realize how much you unconsciously scratch itchy parts of your body until you no longer have the ability to do so. If you’re only missing a few nails, you have to consciously adjust your hand so that you can scratch with the existing ones. If you’re missing all of them, you have to actively find an external object to alleviate the itch.
Some places on the body one can scratch with their teeth, but for most places, one needs to either find an “itch stick,” or rub that part of their body on something scratchy. A lot of clothing is scratchy enough to work for this. One needs to learn how to vary the pressure so that one can alleviate the itch without tearing through the skin or scratching themselves.
Pros:
-Body horror
Fingernail removal is a more mentally significant mutilation than cuts or burns, if only because it draws on the "that was there and now it's not" aspect of body horror.
-Can be inflicted more than once
Since fingernails grow back, they can be removed again and again and again. Though it may take some time for the nails to regrow, it isn't even close to the type of permanent that’s chopping off a finger or a toe.
-Helplessness
Since it takes a few days for the nailbeds to heal enough to be able to use one's fingers, a complete removal of all fingernails will take away one's ability to use their hands. Even after this initial period of extreme sensitivity, the lack of fingernails is something most people aren’t prepared for. The previous section explaining how fingernails affect daily life is significant here.
Cons:
-Can’t repeat often.
Once a fingernail is off, it's not coming back for at least three months (likely longer). It doesn't have the relatively quick reset time that burns or cuts do.
-Relatively short amount of time in pain
All of the pain is in the first few days. It is inconvenient afterwards, but there is little to no pain at this time.
-Amount of care needed
One needs to be relatively careful inflicting this. Fingernails are not as resilient as you'd think, and the likelihood of them ripping before you can finish ripping them off is fairly large if you're not being careful.
If you have a short-tempered or impatient whumper, this might not be their particular wheelhouse.
Conclusion
Overall, I’d say that the effectiveness depends entirely on the desired result. The time it takes for the fingernails to regrow versus the amount of time in which the subject is in pain is not a very productive ratio, so if you’d want your whumper doing a particular torture regularly, I wouldn’t recommend this.
However, if the whumper’s goal is to appeal to the body horror aspect without permanent damage, this is a great option. The fact that it takes nails so long to regrow gives the victim a sense of horrified freakishness. It also has the added benefit of reducing the victim’s maneuverability far after the fact.
The semi-visible nature of this method of torture can be effective if one wishes to horrify characters outside the whumper/whumpee relationship. You don’t immediately look at other people’s hands when you meet them, and as such it might take a while for outside characters to notice the lack of fingernails (especially if they’re past the three day mark). But once they notice, it will be hard to look away.
#whump#whump writing#whumpblr#whump community#whump reference post#this is the post i already had typed up i hope it passes muster#i tried to be as exhaustive as possibly because i KNOW there's so many details one needs when writing a thing#investigative journalism but with injuries that's us here at sbfws#ummm i don't know what to tag this#if y'all want a trigger warning tag for this stuff please let me know?#or if y'all want to be added to a tag list also please let me know??#also also please feel free to make specific post requests if y'all want?#i don't know how timely my responses to them will be but i will FOR SURE try to get to them as soon as i can#just like#if you're a whump writer who fuckin hates having to do research into different types of injuries hit me up!#(especially the weird injuries)#(fingernails are all fine and good but i thrive on the Weird Stuff There's Barely Any Research On you know)#(I really like researching weird niche stuff)#(you'll be doing me a favor if you give me something Decidedly Odd to fixate on)#nail gore#nail whump#hand whump
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making a collection
making another collection with a threatening aura
#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo#HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there#FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend#usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase#nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls#i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki#luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg#cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy#zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over#zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn#komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom#luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk#it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also#was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe#zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her#that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme#fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems#foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests#now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby#the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs
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if we were mutuals or irls before matt flipped his shit three days ago i am very sorry about what my blog has inadvertently become
#and also please. if we are irls. hmu esp if you'll be at pride on sunday. i need to scream in person#i tried to explain all of this to my therapist who barely knows what an actual pdf is and it was fine but not particularly helpful#i just want to hang out in the sun with my trans friends and hug my trans wife and give and receive care#also @ the people i recognize from automattic interacting with my posts. i hope you're doing okay.#if you need a way to contact me offsite i believe my farewell post has some options or you can ask anyone on my team probably to pass you o#tony muses
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mission to zyxx episode 301, first listen: wow, I'm really enjoying this podcast! I'm so glad I'm not even halfway done yet. the new orchestral intro was so cool and I can't wait to see what other funny stuff is in store!
mission to zyxx 301, every subsequent listen: (jumping up and down, screaming, wearing one of those hats with the swirly straws, covered in leis and plastic bead necklaces, waving a foam finger and glowsticks, shouting through a megaphone) AJ! AJ! AJ! ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS??? HE'S FINALLY HERE!!!!! WOO! AJ! WOOOOO!!!!! JUCK YEAH! THAT'S MY SON AJ! WOOO BABY YEAHHHHH!!! GO AJ GO!!!!!
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#i am an aj-2884 fan first and a human person second#pre-AJ I was really hoping my sister would listen with me but I was like it's ok man do it at your own pace dw if now's not the time#but by mid season three i was like SORRY YOU NO LONGER HAVE A CHOICE#YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS AJ GUY#ALSO THE LORE'S GETTING TOO STUPID I CAN'T TALK ABOUT WHY ANYTHING'S FUNNY CAUSE IT'S ALL FUNNIER WHEN YOU HEAR IT#START NOW OR DIE BY MY SWORD#and she did and everything was fine and she also loves aj. the end
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I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)
aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao
(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)
#myrna is actually really proud of him for pushing through and becoming a very fine member of the mourn watch#(and a good man)#but she is also. well. myrna. so she has never expressed as much to him. (she thought it went without saying. it did not!)#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#neve gallus#considering how satisfying the Arc with davrin has been I hope this can liven up neve and rye's interactions for me!#also very interesting and fitting b/c davrin will come for you where you live and go 'and hey btw ANOTHER THING --' no bullshit#which rye finds SO annoying but is probably why their relationship has grown so deep so quickly b/c davrin won't let him avoid him#while neve is ironically a lot more like him and it means they have a much harder time reaching each other b/c they're both so watchful#and guarded. they vibed so hard in the beginning it was all neve approves all the times b/c they have similar instincts. and now look at us#we live in the same house and politely pretend the other one doesn't exist. we're making ghosts out of each other!!!#explaining why he's semi-avoiding her. he thinks he's being thoughtful in giving her her space but uh. well.#perhaps more flight behaviour in that than he's willing to gaze at directly haha#rye looks at lucanis claiming he's a mess and goes 'oh buddy you should've seen me the first day in a year I was fully sober#and working on that fucking orb with head pounding and eyeliner running. even like this you're one of the tidiest#and most disciplined people I've ever met. you're literally fine.'#the reason the romance is so slow is not even mostly on lucanis I think rye is the slower to truly open up one in that dynamic lol#hey. I love rook. I love him so much. my trying his best underachieving babyboy who killed god when he got it together#I suspect this is going to be a situation where I've planned multiple other playthroughs#that will inevitably be hampered by '...but where is rye tho. I wish rye was here. does anyone else miss rye' lmao#for reference I've finished DA:O at least 4 times. and all four of them was sophia amell doing exactly the same things. I have a Pattern lo#a pattern I have only really broken in da:i where I have three inquisitors I care about sort of equally (adaar is my fave#but I have fondness for them all)#hawke I basically play as always the same person just AUs of him haha. what if he was a mage instead and it was somehow even sadder#that sort of thing
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Every time I go into Seele's tag to find artwork, the salt in my veins increases tenfold. It's so disheartening (and annoying) to see how she's reduced to nothing more than a half of a lesbian ship in which she's also noted to have been 'so mean to Bronya', and if not kept in that context, then she's just disliked for being 'rude', and all of it's entirely missing the mark in terms of what makes her who she is. Salt incoming, and super incoherent salt at that.
First off, I need to not-so-blindly defend the character and say (and this'll sound harsh, I know): if you love Seele, but also praise Hoyo for how Bronseele was written in HSR, I'd like to have a word with you. Because here's my issue: Seele's issue with the Overworld is so immense and it's a view that's so thoroughly and deeply rooted, that hearing that little miss Overworld princess to actually have come from the orphanage in the Underworld wouldn't have made a single difference. Bronya still had a life that not a single child down below could even dream of, Bronya still represents 'the Overworld' in all its glory, no matter if she has a kinder heart that is shown only later on in the story. Seele is rude, and mean because she has a right to be. She once, when quite young, canonically fought a man (and he ran off) for the last little bit of water that was left in a bucket outside of the orphanage for the homeless, only to see him at death's door through the window not long after (and since, has ensured there's always water left for others). Seele, when young and little enough to fit into a supply bag, has seen people in the Overworld throw away food as if food is a luxury and comment on how cruel it is, and how she never wants to come back up to the Overworld ever again. Seele has immense dismay (bordering on loathing) for the Overworld for such good reasons. The Underworld suffers already in basic human necessities, while the Overworld has them in abundance. Of course Seele will detest everything that Bronya represents, and letting all of that go simply because 'Bronya also came from the orphanage' is, in my opinion and I don't resort to saying this lightly, bad writing on Hoyo's part, and I can only write it off as fan-servicing to the HI3 fans. I do not take 'expies' into account when it comes to ships. If Hoyo, or the fandom, wants me to see and acknowledge a 'heavily insinuated ship', then write it well, and where it makes sense for both characters, without sacrificing their values and the core of their characters. Respect them, and I'll respect the dynamic, and/or the ship. Until then, no. So when I go into a tag and all I see is Seele tied to Bronya, especially in the ship. I absolutely hate it. And I hate it even more when I read people hating on people who don't ship it. Guess what, maybe it doesn't always have to do with people being 'anti-lesbians' or 'anti-women', maybe sometimes, like in cases such as my own, it has everything to do with... hey, maybe actually respect the women in question through actions, rather than claiming that you do with some easy peasy words. And then when it comes down to it: you fall short.
And though I touched on it in the last paragraph, I just want to reiterate it: Seele's story isn't about Bronya, it's not about love of one woman to another. And thinking that it is, or relegating it to that, is incredibly saddening, because you're overlooking everything that she stands for— actually no, it's throwing away everything that she stands for. Do you know how Seele in HSR got her name? 'Seele' was given to her by Oleg, and it means 'soul'. And do you realize what the soul is representative of? It's the... immortal element of an individual. The very foundation and 'core' of a human being, touching on the conscience, individuality, and... emotion. That which makes us human, and gee, I wonder why she was given that name as of an early age. And gee, I wonder why she's noted to be the actual backbone of Wildfire, the organization that arose to protect the Underworld, when the Overworld retreated entirely.
I'm not saying that Bronya and Seele don't have an interesting dynamic, I'm just saying that I wish people didn't take away from the latter's character to make it happen simply 'because it seems to be an obvious thing in HI3!' Well guess what, I'm not playing HI3, I'm playing HSR.
#[ i'm /so tired/ of the bronseele fans. and not all of them-- but the ferocious ones that will condemn anyone who doesn't ship bronseele. ]#[ because 'omg you hate women'. god. don't make me throw the damn comment right back at you. ]#[ if you take away from a female character to make a lesbian ship work. i will actually judge you to the moon and back. ]#[ that's not 'being a feminist'. sacrificing one FOR the other isn't being a feminist. ]#[ you're not doing 'good for women' by promoting that. ]#[ salt. ] should i be quieter next time? / no. no… it's fine. children don't learn unless you shout at them.#[ seele. ] we tell them 'things will be better tomorrow.' everyone knows it's a lie; but it gets them to sleep with some hope.
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Honestly, I've never really had any interest in Undertale or Deltarune shipping in the past, and that still mostly holds true. That being said, I cannot stop thinking about the delicious psychological horror implications of Kris/Ralsei
#imagine if there was this guy you met who looked exactly like your brother did when he was younger#and like. He's fine. you get along with him fine. He's a bit annoying and cloying sometimes but whatever#and he's clearly attracted to you#like extremely clearly attracted to you. and he sees you as something you aren't.#he can't seem to see past this hero persona that you've been forced to play#and you are not attracted to him. no part of you is attracted to him#but you're being forced to reciprocate#you're hugging him and flirting with him and giving him presents and all you feel feel about it is dread#you can't even tell him you're not interested. because. well. apparently you are#you're being forced to act out this fluffy fairytale romance with someone who again may I remind you is basically your brother#because whoever is playing this sick fucking game you're in has decided that you're cute together#like. idk. i feel like it's old news to point out that both Undertale and Deltarune are Stories About Stories#with Deltarune being largely about control and about what it feels like to be trapped in a narrative that someone else has made for you#And hey. stories have romance. stories have fandoms and those fandoms demand ships where the stoic one is soft for the sunshine one#anyways. do I ship it? um. I'm not sure.#no im the sense that I very firmy believe Kris has absolutely no romantic feelings for Ralsei#yes in the sense that I think Ralsei is written as having feelings for Kris. and I think the dynamic there is INCREDIBLY interesting#and it's something I really really hope we get to see more of in later chapters#Doomed By The Narrative has been done. it's time for Shipped By The Narrative#deltarune#kralsei
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today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned
#hush n shush wifi#just a tad sad#actually more like angry as shit#okay let me TELL YALL about my day#first: the annoying#i was going shopping at a grocery warehouse and you know how those parking lots are always super crowded?#well it was. there were no parking spots and there were so many cars and people trying to go everywhere#i scraped my wheels too which is fine but one of my relatives who likes cars acts like it's a sin#so that shook me up enough that i didn't go outside for the rest of the day#and THEN#OHHHH AND FUCKING THEN.#if anyone remembers the absolute ass of a person from last year who i thought was my friend but said horrible things to me out of the blue#WELL THEY CAME BACK#i never got a chance to block them initially because they blocked me first#BUT I GOT FUCKING MESSAGES FROM THEM TONIGHT#AND ALL THEY WERE SAYING WAS ESSENTIALLY THAT THEY MEANT WHAT THEY SAID#they said some bullshit about the execution being wrong and that their ex wrote it for them#which by the way is just scummy on its own#and that they get mad emotionally which is a horrible excuse#and had the AUDACITY TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS#IN WHAT DELUDED SELF CENTERED WORLD DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN TO THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN#my trust is a VERY VERY FRAGILE THING#AND THIS IS A VERY LARGE CONTRIBUTOR TO IT#this isn't an apology. they regret none of it#this is a way for them to make themself feel better#the scariest part is that this person by now is almost/IS an adult#which is terrifying if that means there are more people like that out there#i try not to wish ill will but i genuinely hope no one ever has to suffer through being their 'friend' ever again#anyways they're blocked on all of my platforms now.#if the person is somehow reading this. hi! never talk to me again. you're a horrible human being with no consideration for other's feelings
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how to get over feeling like every single thing I draw is gonna make at least one person go
#'fuck em' oh sorry lemme clarify: at least one person I personally know and whose opinions matter to me#bleh! plech!! yucky this isn't what I was hoping for 🙄#yeah I dunno. sorry I guess. I know it's good and healthy to just make art for yourself to a certain extent#but it's also extremely human and normal to want to share your art and get validation and not feel like you're disappointing people#literally incapable of feeling like I'm not disappointing someone at all times. which is fine haha ( :#rarely has anyone ever Said Anything much less been outright mean to me so like!! what to EVEN do about feeling this way!!#just keep feeling it forever I guess!!#about me
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