#i hope you’re doing well sel!!

[aimfor-theheart]

cielo cielo cielo!!! i am dropping by with a few things i find pretty bc april is so very pretty to me! 🍞🌻💭🌷☀️🫧✨🌱💗🍓 how are you?? i hope the month is lovely to you 🥺

i also come back with a curious sel question 🤓 a more technical writing one but, what is your anchor point to writing a character like gojo or megumi? what part of them do you like exploring and what quality of theirs stays the same to you across any universe you put them in? 🥺

SEL!!!! hello!!! 💗💗💗 april is not very pretty where i live BUT i am ALSO sending you some pretty things for spring 🌷🪺🪻🌧️🐥🫛🐰

i’m hanging in there!!! i hope you’re doing well!! 💗

this is such a good question!!

i’d say my anchor point in both megumi and gojo are seemingly rather sad and that is that they’re both sorta….tragic figures in their own stories?? they’re sort of caught in a cycle in jjk, you know?? i am HOPING megumi ends it where gojo couldn’t but!! i’d say it’s something i tend to gravitate towards in both of them. i love exploring it too.

in megumi, i also love to explore his longing. to me, he is just aching!!! and i think in any universe, that comes through with him. i think he tries to keep everything so bottled in…so tight to his chest but he really is just bursting! i love to soothe this ache too. sometimes make it worse hehe

with gojo, i think i like to explore his loneliness. ugh that man is a lone lighthouse…….guiding everyone but utterly alone. i think it makes him a little desperate, which id say comes through in any universe i write him in too. sometimes i like to soothe his loneliness and desperation,..,.sometimes i like to make it worse!!

those were such wonderful questions thank you for asking!!! 😭💗💗

[sappymix1]

YOU FINISHED WITH YOUR DEGREE??? GOOD FOR YOU OG MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU SAPPY!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!! like a week ago :’) waaah thank you despite the horrors i am very happy

[haikyuuhoo]

kaitlyn!! how are you!! am here with some flowers and sparkles to brighten up the season!! ✨💐 i hope you’re having a wonderful weekend 🥺

and i am curious!! (again 🤭) if you were to receive/give a gift from/to your fave/s, what would it be!! 🥺

Sel my love hello!!! Sorry I’m getting to this late, I finished up my last exam today! I did get to study/hang out with my friends all day Sunday so that was nice 😁

I always love your questions!! This is a good one—I absolutely LOVE giving gifts. But I feel like I would have absolutely no idea what to get Gojo (what do you get for the man who has everything/can buy anything he wants??). I’d probably end up making a little scrapbook of pictures and stuff (and hope he didn’t think it was cheesy and hate it) bc that’s not really something you can just go out and buy, ya know? And I think it would be v cute and I love doing personal things like that 🫶🏼

as for receiving aksgfhskdkl I don’t know—I’m a big reader so literally anything reading- or book-related and I’d probably be v happy <3

[greynatomy]

luck of the irish

katie mccabe x reader

i’m having sm trouble writing rn that i feel like i’m just rambling when writing at this point. hope it makes sense for y’all

part 2 part 3

———

“Come on. Please. For me?” You ask the two people on a video call with you

Your best friends, Selena and Taylor, and you are having a virtual hangout, seeing as you all live in different places.

“What’s in it for us?” Selena asks, taking a sip of her wine.

“Absolutely nothing, but you get to go to England.”

“And what are we gonna do? Sit and watch you ogle your girlfriend for like two hours.”

“Exactly.”

“Stop teasing me. You can’t hardly blame me though, my girlfriend is hot. And y’all are just bitter that you’re single.”

“Hey! I’m not anymore.”

“Shocker!” You say sarcastically. “You’ve been going to your boyfriend’s games so much and brought us with you, now it’s my turn.”

“Sel, you need to get yourself an athlete.”

“I know.” She whines, extending the ‘o’. “You guys need to set me up with someone.

“You might catch the eyes of some footballers if you come here.”

“We’re gonna be in so many news headlines.”

“Just gotta make sure we don’t look stupid in them.”

———

The Arsenal Women’s team are all on the pitch, warming up for their match. All of a sudden, the crowd throughout the stadium starts cheering, confusing all the players and staff on the pitch.

Looking all around, the crowd is watching the big screen. There you are, with your two best friends, all completely oblivious to what’s happening. The three of you were too preoccupied doing the marshmallow game to notice all the eyes on you. Well, to be fair, you all grew up with eyes always on you that you all learned to block it out.

“Stop fucking it up Taylor. You’re like the whole music industry, where’s the rhythm?”

“Fuck you! I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not my Mom.”

“Okay! Let’s just try it again okay?”

“I’ll start. One marshmallow.”

“Check it out.”

“Woo.”

Down on the field, Katie watches the big screen, not being able to stop the huge grin of amusement on her face.

“Dude! There’s no way that’s actually Y/N Y/LN, Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift.”

“I mean, if you open your eyes you would see that it actually is.” Caitlin shoves Katie away because of her sarcastic response.

———

Nothing really happens for the first half, but as soon as the second half starts, Arsenal in playing like they’ve got some fresh pairs of legs on them.

“Now I understand why people watch sports.” Taylor says loudly.

“Dates an athlete and is now obsessed with sports.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“But seriously. I’ve never watched a sport on my life until I met Katie. And it’s a plus she looks hot doing it.”

———

We’ve got McCabe, Katie McCabe I just don’t think you understand she plays out on the wing, she hits it with a zing we’ve got Katie McCabe

You started chanting with all the fans, encouraging your friends to join in.

“C’mon guys! Just like I taught you!”

———

Arsenal eventually won from a banger from McCabe, who was now getting interviewed.

“Katie, good game today. You scored the game winning shot, how’d that feel?”

“Oh, em, I was just doing what I usually do. But I’ve actually got my girlfriend here, so I had to put on a bit of a show for her.”

“Oh! Wow! Well, thank you for your time Katie.” The reporter says a bit shocked at the news.

Katie walks into the locker room, everyone is just sat at their cubby, cooking down from the match, when a knock is heard from the door.

“You girls decent?” Jonas’ voice comes through the door.

“Yeah!”

“Alright, well, we’ve got some guests that would love to meet you all.”

You, Taylor and Selena walk through the door being met by the whole team. The team fan girls for a bit, the team’s social media videographer catching it all on camera.

After greeting everyone, you walk over to where Katie is still sat in her cubby and place yourself on her lap, her arms immediately wrapping around your waist.

Her teammates are too preoccupied with Selena and Taylor to notice the two of you, but both your friends know you like to wander off, instantly noticing you weren’t next to them anymore.

Looking around, she sees you with your girlfriend whispering in her ear that has her biting her lip.

“Oh my god! Stop flirting in front of other people please!” Taylor speaks out, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room.

“You’re just mad cause your man who’s not your man is off playing fake football and not with you.”

“Oh, she got you there.” Selena laughs at Taylor’s offended face, giving you a high five.

“We’re no longer friends.” Taylor pouts, crossing her arms across her chest.

“You’ll get over it cause you love me.” You wrap her in a hug, Selena joining in. “Okay, enough of that. Can we all take a group picture?” You ask the Gunners. “I’ve gotta cook dinner.”

After the photo, the three of you bid farewell to the team, you giving Katie a quick kiss and a ‘see you later.’

“Actually, can I go with you? I’ll just shower at home.” Katie asks, packing her things.

“C’mon. Bye guys!” You wave at everyone.

“See you soon!” Katie leaves after you.

The team was silent for a bit after the four of you left, not knowing how to process that their Irish teammate has a girlfriend and who her girlfriend is.

“That was unexpected.”

“Indeed.”

“How’d Katie get a girl like her?” Beth asks, not quite understanding.

“It’s probably the luck the Irish have.”

“And Y/N is her pot of gold.”

“Damn.”

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 21, Unacceptable - Pt. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,

Word Count: 947

Previously On...: Bucky confronted Steve when he thought you two slept together. It got... ugly.

A/N: Last part of Chapter 21! We're off to Atlantic City, baby!

I am probably going to start going back to 1/day updates tomorrow, at least until I make more progress on With Friends Like These.

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

“That was pure evil,” Sam said as you both buckled your seatbelts in the convertible you’d be using for the mission. “I knew you were a genius, Baby Girl, but damn! Didn’t realize it was evil genius! Remind me never to get on your bad side!”

You smiled and shrugged, adjusting your hair in the visor mirror and putting on a pair of sunglasses. “Serves them right, acting like I’m a fucking piece of property either one of them can claim ownership of. I hope they break each other’s noses.”

Sam laughed as he pulled the car out of the Tower’s underground parking garage and onto the city street. “We got about a two and a half hour drive,” he said. “What do you feel like listening to?”

You were prevented from answering by the sound of Cherry Pie by Warrant filling the car. You both looked around for a moment before you realized it was coming from your phone. You picked it up, staring at the screen in confusion when you saw Tony’s name flash across the screen.

“You asshole, did you hack my phone?” you asked, putting him on speaker, “Because this was certainly not your ringtone.”

“Can you blame an old man for feeling nostalgic?” Tony asked, and you could hear the grin in his voice. “Did Cap give you my message?”

“Yes,” you said, eying Sam, “and Sam was very hurt when you called him ‘birdbrain.’” Sam did his best to stifle his laugh.

You could practically hear Tony roll his eyes. “Yeah, well Rogers needs to learn not to repeat everything word for word. Listen, kiddo, I meant what I said about visiting, though. You need anything, anything at all while you’re gone, you call me, okay? I can be there before you even hang up the phone.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “Jesus, Tony. I’m not a child, and Sam’ll have my back. I know I’m not a mighty Avenger like the rest of you, but I’m not incompetent. I’ve been trained–”

“Whoa, whoa,” Tony interrupted you, “that’s not why I’m worried. Not at all. I know you can more than handle yourself. Hell, I’d send you on this mission solo– that’s how much faith I have in your abilities.” You smiled unexpectedly at that. “I’m concerned about how this mission’s going to affect you mentally and emotionally, given your–”

You immediately took him off speaker and held the phone to your ear as he continued “--history. We’re dealing with missing women who are likely being trafficked for sex. If that’s not gonna be a potential trigger for you, I don’t know what is.”

“I’m not fragile, Boss,” you said, your voice softer now. In all the turmoil you’d gone through since finding out about Bucky and Carthage, you honestly hadn’t given much consideration to what the mission might mean to you on a psychological level. “I never said you were, kiddo. I know you’re strong. But, this is a lot. You’ve just been dealt a major blow because of Barnes and I’m putting you back in a position that’s a lot closer to your old life than you’ve been living in a long, long time. You’ve come so far, and, well, I guess I’m concerned that I’m doing you more harm than good by sending you backwards.”

“Thanks, Tony,” you murmured, touched that  he was still looking out for you, even from a distance. “That means a lot.”

“Just promise me– if it gets to be too much, if at any point you're struggling, you’ll tell me. I’ll pull you out, mission be damned.”

“But Boss,” you interjected, “these women need our help! We can’t just–”

“I know that, Pocket,” he countered, “and we will help them. But I’m not going to risk your mental wellbeing to do it. If it gets to be too much, we’ll pull you out, and we’ll find another way. Trust me.”

Your trust was running in short supply these days, but if there was one person who had never failed you, had never let you down, and was deserving of all the trust you had to offer, it was Tony Stark. “Yeah, okay,” you eventually agreed. “I promise. If it gets to be too much for me, I’ll let you know.”

“Good,” said Tony, and you knew he’d probably expected more of a fight from you, but you were too mentally exhausted to put one up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I promised Pepper I’d do a stopover in Havana on my way home from Belize and pick up this massage oil she absolutely loves. See, it warms up when you–”

“Good bye, Tony,” you laughed, ending the call before he could go into further nauseating detail. You shook your head, smiling to yourself. You noticed Sam glancing over at you. “What?” you asked him.

“Nothin’” he said, eyes back on the road. “Just think it’s sweet how much Tony cares about you, that’s all. I knew you two were close, like brother and sister, but I never saw it in action before. It’s nice.”

“Oh,” you said, surprised he hadn’t jumped to the typical conclusions people came to when they considered your relationship. “Yeah, he’s really been the best.”

“So, how did you two meet, anyway?” Sam asked as the two of you pulled onto the highway. “I know Tony said the strip club, but I figure there’s got to be more to it than that. If you don’t mind sharing, that is. I mean, we still have two hours of driving left to do.”

You chuckled. “Nah, it’s alright– I don’t mind telling you. It’s actually kind of a funny story…”

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

[seiwas]

hi, sel! i hope you’re doing great <3 for your little exercise, can you do bakugou + vulnerability 🤔 thank you so much!

hi, zee! i'm doing very well, thank you! i hope you're doing amazing too 🥺 thank you for sending in a lil prompt 💗

contains: aged up papa bakugo, mentions of a baby, mentions of past near-death experience

bakugo + vulnerability

it hits him all at once.

bakugo goes back into the field after eight months of paternity leave and instead of the pumping in his veins, all he feels is fear―unlike anything he's ever felt before.

it rings deep in his bones, crawls up his spine and into the back of his head; it rattles around his heartbeat. he didn't feel this at 15, with no pulse, near death with blood splattered all over his chest.

yet here he is now, at 35, standing face-to-face with a villain not any larger than he is. there's no real threat besides the explosives strapped to the pillars of this evacuated building; the worst that could happen is that the entire structure could collapse if they're set off.

―which, he can avoid; could hightail out of the area using cluster easily. but the pressure feels bigger somehow, the possibility of a failure weighs heavier. his first thought is you and the baby. his little family.

"you should start going back to the field," you whispered one night, your arms wrapped around his waist as he cradled his little girl to sleep.

he'd wanted to take the whole year off, just until she would start walking. just until you were more rested. settled.

but, you know bakugo and what makes him who he is, you know being a hero is more than just his job; how he misses the thrill of it, sneaking looks at his phone every time he hears anything from the news.

so he's here now, a few months too early, and it terrifies him―how he doesn't feel the same way he used to. it's paralyzing; one wrong move, one reckless mistake and it could all be over.

there's so much more to lose.

help me get back into the writing groove! send me a character + any word and i'll write a short blurb about it!

[stylinsoncity]

Hiiii! I know it’s been a while but first! I want to just confirm that I’m definitely alive and well! I’m also back with a new fic, which you might have already seen if you’re subscribed on ao3.

‘Hard times in elmsmere’ is the vampire/witch time travel au I mentioned a while ago and it is now published in its entirety. I hope you enjoy it!

I also want to talk candidly about where I am re: fic writing in general. I’ve been feeling distant for months as I try to focus on my own personal writing and other interests, hence the long hiatus. I hoped that some time away would kind of reboot that part of my brain. But tbh the opposite has happened.

I will absolutely be finishing penn park and an update is coming very soon. by next week, i believe. i also have one more chapter I want to post for notes on oxford and then I’ll likely mark that as completed. i’m not sure what to do with ‘till the end of time’ so I’ll just leave that open for now. but I think by the end of the year, assuming I’ve added one or two more chapters, i’ll likely mark that completed as well. I do still want to publish caya…and once I finish my WIPs, I think I can get back to editing it bit by bit. I’d also love for SEL to be published one day too, but that seems a little out of reach right now.

I really wish I could clone myself and devote my clone to the task of writing all the fics I’ve ever thought about. But sadly it’s just me! D: 

the bottom line is I won’t really be online anymore and the rate I’m able to update my fics will be really slow. I closed my inbox bc I didn’t want asks piling up or for anyone to feel ignored. my messages are still open for now though so if you need to contact me, pls do. but it may take me a while to respond.

since I’ll be away indefinitely and unable to provide permission, i would really appreciate it if my fics were no longer printed or reproduced in any way, this includes translations or reposting.

lastly, I just want to say thank you very very much for the support! it means so much more than i can even express right now. i've enjoyed all the conversations i've had here and all the love that's been shared. this is not quite a goodbye. there are still lots of great chapters to come. But for now I just want to say thank you for understanding and ily!

[samgirl98]

Mending a Family 45/?

Prev | Next

I want to apologize. I have no excuses for not updating. I didn't know how to bridge the chapter to move the plot forward, so I had a hard time writing. I finally decided to sit down and do it, so it's a little disjointed. I did have fun writing the little family outing, though I hate how short it is.

Anyway, thanks for waiting, and hopefully, I can finally move this along.

Jazz watched Danny, Ellie, and Jason run around the playground with a fond smile. Well, Ellie waddled more than ran. Jazz couldn’t help but feel her chest fill with love as her small family had fun. Their laughter made Jazz’s heart soar higher than Danny ever did.

Luckily, the small playground was ignored in favor of a bigger one across the forest, so the Nightingales had it for themselves.

They had decided to go out for a picnic. Jason and Jazz had gotten up early to make sandwiches and a potato salad and found a spot under a tree to eat with the kids. Jazz had watched as Danny and Ellie had gobbled up the food. Jason had to fight with Ellie while he tried to wipe her face.

“Jazz, aren’t you coming to play with us,” Danny asked.

“In a sec, I just want to finish my drink first.”

Jazz gulped down her soda and then went up to her family, “What are we doing, guys?”

“Playing tag! Dad is it.”

“Not anymore,” Jason poked Jazz, “you’re it now!”

“Hey,” Jazz said indigently as her small family ran and waddled away. She went after Danny.

“Come here, you little gremlin.”

Danny stopped for a moment to stick out his tongue and ran again.

“Why, you little! Get back here!”

Laughter rang out through the little playground as the small family chased each other. Jazz caught Danny around his waist, kissed his cheek, and declared him it.

“Eww, gross!”

Once Danny was it, he chased Jason. And round and round they went until they eventually fell to the ground, exhausted.

Ellie climbed on top of Jason’s chest and snuggled up the man.

“What am I, chopped liver?”

Ellie smiled at Jazz and then went back to snuggling up to Jason.

“Sorry, Jazz, Ellie has spoken and chose the superior option.”

Jazz snorted and picked up Danny.

“Fine, you steal my kid, I steal yours!”

“Not a kid,” Danny protested as he cuddled up to Jazz. Soon, the children’s snores filled the air. Jazz was starting to nod off, too, when Jason’s voice suddenly brought her back.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice thick with gratitude. Jazz blinked at Jason, confused.

“For what?”

“For saving Danny. For not taking him away. For staying…for—for being my sister. Thanks.”

Danny grumbled in his sleep as Jazz sat up.

“There is no need for thanks. You also saved Danny. You stayed by our side in our lowest hour. You’re my brother, and I’m glad we became a family. Now, no more thanks. We deserve each other, and we all deserve happiness.”

Jason smiled and closed his eyes. Jazz stared at the setting sun, content to be with her small family.

____

“You knew all this time,” Dick stated as he sat in front of Raven. He hoped he didn’t sound accusing.

 Raven didn’t look up from her spell book.

“Hello to you, too, Dick.”

“You knew what we went through, what I went through, and you still kept his location a secret.”

Don’t accuse, just state, don’t accuse…

“It’s what Jason wanted.”

Dick swallowed the instinctive anger that boiled under his skin. He wanted to protest, but Dinah’s voice stopped him.

Breathe, her voice said, your feelings are valid, but so are Jason’s.

If he had found out even a few weeks ago, he would’ve torn Raven a new one, consequences be damned. Now, he knew he had to give Jason his space. Jason decided whether he wanted to talk to them or not. Dick couldn’t force a relationship, no matter how much he wanted it.

It still hurt.

“Is he happy,” he couldn’t help but ask. “Is he safe?”

Raven finally looked at Dick. She smiled softly and answered.

“He’s thriving.”

Dick couldn’t help the hurt he was feeling. Why did Raven get to see his little brother, but Dick couldn’t? It wasn’t fair. He knew he was selfish, but he wished Jason could’ve found happiness with them instead of away from them. Dick felt replaced.

He took a deep breath and squashed his feelings. Was Raven looking at him with pity?

Ignore it.

“Can you give him this?”

Dick took out an envelope. It contained a picture of Mar’i and him.

“I can try, but I won’t force it on him if he doesn’t want it.”

“That’s all I can ask for.”

Dick stood up and left. He swallowed up his feelings once more and hoped his little brother would eventually decide to reconnect with them.

____

Ghost Writer grinned as he opened the box of new books he had ordered for the book club.

A month after Jason had started it, the little club was thriving and had added two new members. They had just finished Sense and Sensibility and had decided on Pachinko. He hummed as he checked over the books and put them in a little corner.

Ghost Writer was so engrossed in taking out the books that he didn’t notice a little green tear opening in the back of his store.

@itsberrydreemurstuff @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon @all-mights-asscheeks @ender-reader @fuyu-bitch @ravenswife @randomafterthought @chaos-and-wtv@itsberrydreemurstuff @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange

[lana-llama-in-pajamas]

Thick as blood sweet as milk

Chapter 5

The younger one tries to grab you via the paper hole. You jumped back almost ripping over your chair, the cat hissing and scratching at the arm the tar like blood leaking over the desk. The smell was fucking rancid so you held your breath and slammed the panic button before calling “Rex” you said almost vomiting from the shutter being able to cut off the arm rolling until being stopped by the radio.You grabbed your cat walking out of the office into the hallway to wait for the DDD. As usual they showed up exterminated and checked with you “my cat scratched at one of the arms, the severed arm is in the office” you pet her cleaning her paw with tissues “on it” a hazmat walked in to see it “their so aggressive right now” he commented placing it into a garbage can that could be locked then cleaning with an unknown chemical that cut through the blood like nothing, your old uniform from the past attack had to be thrown away, the black tar staining the fabrics. “You’re telling me” you sighed walking back in and waving to the others as they left. Soon the twins and the pilots came together and yes they were all them, you asked how it was and the girls giggled talking a little gossip and passed her a telegram “there’s a magazine party coming up you should come” Sel jumped up and down her heels clacking “calm down, but yeah you should totally go, you don’t have party dresses so we should go shopping” El smiled walking with her sister into the hall “oh and you can’t say no or we’ll drag you!” Sel yelled behind her faking an evil laugh making her sister cackle. You shook your head turning to the pilots, Steven held up his drunken father mumbling “I promise you it’s him, I don’t think dopples can get drunk and stupid enough to lose his hat in the wind” Steven passed both their papers gently fixing his grip on his dad “wow I have never been that drunk before” you laughed checking everything “yeah well, I don’t think girls can even drink that much. Smaller organs right?” He said, you nodded (ah, 1950s understanding of anatomy) “all seems ok, sleep well” you passed everything back to him “thank you miss, and we hope you sleep soon can’t have you getting ill on us” he winked walking off pulling his father with him.

The last resident was gauss. He was a reporter so you didn’t have much hope of him coming anytime soon, you decide to turn the radio to a music station singing along to the late night tunes.

Almost an hour of playing with the cat and singing and dancing you got caught off guard as you vibed singing 🎵 “you had plenty of it 19…22 and I had so much to give to youuu~ why don’t you do right like other men do~” 🎵 you spinned holding the now empty coffee “boo.” You jumped eyes almost popping out to see gauss. Soaking wet and pissed “oh! So sorry” you placed the cup down and grabbed his papers “don’t apologize, I like watching you dance and sing, you do it well doll” he said slicking back his wet hair, his shirt stuck to his skin showing no under shirt. You stared a little, why did a reporter have to be buff like that? He flexed a peck making you mentally die “don’t stare too long, the milkman might get jealous” he spoke lowly as if Francis was in the hall “how did you?” You asked not even bothering to finish “I see the way he looks at you at times” he chuckled “but no worries doll I got nothing for you I just like knowing the story” he flicked his press pass as you slid everything back “speaking of stories, why didn’t you get me anything when everyone else did?” You asked not wanting to sound greedy “what? I did I passed onto the milkman himself to give it to you, flowers and a hat”you were stunned. A gasp. Dumbfounded. You laughed a little realizing what happened that day. Francis was jealous of Gauss‘s gift because he was so caught off guard by everyone else . He threw it away. Then he flirts with you to feel and know he’s the one your into. “What a teenager!” You said randomly getting up and laughing more. Gauss was lost and a little upset “you didn’t receive it?” He said “no! Mosses threw it away!” You laughed holding yourself “he threw it away because he was jealous he was the only one without a gift!” Gauss couldn’t even believe Francis could blink let alone get jealous but he too started laughing “oh dear, I know i’m a little harsh around the edges. I have went to my own mama to help get you the gift.” He explained “well atleast you know I tried, it wasn’t an expensive hat anyways” he waved it off “what a ride tonight, one minute I’m interviewing a bunch of triple D officials the next I learned my emotionless robot neighbor gets jealous!” He laughed walking into the hall “goodnight doll, and tell ya boyfriend he owes me $10 for the gift he was soooo jealous of” he winked to you before disappearing.

You were still so distraught to even think the Francis that way, you can hear the pitter powder from the outside as you walked up the stairs finally ready to get to bed, but one did not leave your mind Francis did look at natcha with sad eyes so why was he getting jealous over you? You passed his door hearing music from it so you decided to knock the door. It just simply opened walking through without making noise, but you didn’t know why your were being quiet. An armchair and a couch and a lamp light. in living room all over a Persian rug was the scene in front of you. on the armchair was Francis. his house coat undone, showing his wife beater. His breathing was slow as he held a lit cigar in his hand, his record player playing the song that you couldn’t understand. 

He hummed along with his eyes closed, you sat on the couch listening to him…it was calming

The song repeated as he opened his eyes a little spooked to see you, he looked at his door which was wide open closing it and locking. He looked out the window, the rain starting to relax as he could see stars “y/n~” he hummed “y/n” “y/n” he sang squeezing your arm gently, you grunted eyes still closed, the cat popped up from behind the coach purring like crazy as he pet her “your such a loving thing” he cooed finally making you wake up, he smiled down at you having to kneel to meet your gaze on the couch. You looked up him lovingly in a hazy dream state holding your hands up for a hug, he happily holds you putting his forehead to yours “y/n this isn’t a dream” he whispered, his heart beating quickly as you hugged him closer “good morning” you whispered kissing him slowly, he froze but couldn’t help kissing back breathing in your scent. Finally let go pushing you back “please tell me your aware your actually kissing me” your eyes widened hearing him, your heart jumping “uh um well…..why’d you stop?” You were surprised you even said it but god now that you were fully awake you wanted it more “…I…” he was red looking down embarrassed, your position was a sight indeed. Your legs at either side of him, he was kneeling before you his arms wrapped around you, breathing in you pulled his face up kissing it lightly in sections make him breath a little harder “you smell so good, and your so soft…oh how I wished to hold you like this times over” he said almost reciting it like a poem, you blushed your head feeling like it moved on its own to kiss him deeper even holding his head in place, he tasted like whiskey and tobacco and you coffee. It felt like you kissed for hours but it was barely a few minutes, you separated looking away from other “this isn’t right” you got up walking to the window opening it to get some fresh air the rain droplets falling onto your hands “I’m sorry Francis it’s just.. I keep thinking this crazy theory” you put your face in your hands wanting to disappear from the situation “y/n, what’s going on?” He put his hand in your shoulders to face him “I don’t understand” you felt so bad. If you were wrong? Would he hate you? And if you were right you would feel like a harlot for preying on him. You looked away up at the stares preparing for either outcome “is Natasha yours?” You whispered the last part feeling him stiffen up. “….come sit.” He lead you to the couch again sitting in his armchair “…yes. Natasha is my daughter” there it was. Your heart sank and your hands grew cold “but. Natcha and me are on the terms that Natasha doesn’t need to know for now. And that natcha wishes to parent her alone.” He clarified holding your hand “you are not a home wrecker of any sort” he assured you “but how. How did it happen?” You asked thinking they were married or school sweethearts or anything “that’s a….sad story, but I will tell you” he poured you a shot and sat back changing the record to play a different song

“You see, those funny inappropriate jokes about milk men are a little bit more true than you think” he grew uncomfortable and ashamed “I was 22…natcha was 30…she was married I was not.”he continued “ I just started the job and her house was on my route, we took to liking to each other…it was nice. Her husband was a banker and from what I remember he was swell, a nice older man never yelled or hurt her. The one thing he couldn’t give Natcha was children…so she started to flirt and I like the dumb horny kid I was I went along. She wasn’t looking for a way out y/n she just wanted a child, after a year she was pregnant and didn’t even tell me until her 3rd trimester! She even showed me the divorce papers! I thought I was becoming a father, figures out I was just a means to an end….her husband did infact try and kill me too but thankfully I was stronger and faster. And she disappeared…I didn’t even know what my child was….i learned only 3 years ago her name was Natasha.” Francis held his temple holding back his tears composing himself. You weren’t even able to react processing all the information, atleast you had an answer. Yes. Natasha was Francis’s child and he was an absent father, but not by choice at face value “ when I moved into this apartment, I didn’t even know she was here. It was like they wanted me to see my child.” Francis finally let a tear roll “I thank god anytime Natasha chooses to talk to me, but I do feel sour towards Natcha to this day” he sighed “ i’m sorry for what she did to you. If she did ask you to be the father would you have married her?”

There was a pause.

“Now? No. Back then….maybe. You have to understand she’s the type of person where she will get what she wants and that is it. I don’t see her as evil, but I do see it as callous.” He explained sipping his drink “but know I have fallen in love with you in a way I haven’t felt in a long time y/n. I feel like a little boy again leaving wild flowers on a desk” he was very poetic when he spoke long enough and you could now fully understand why natcha would want him if not only for child bearing “you are?” You gulped “yes.” He kneeled before you again waiting on you to accept his touch, you pulled his hands towards you “I’m in love with you too I believe” you looked down “but your so elusive” he smiled holding your chin up “I’m a book, simply open and read” you let out a simple smile “where are you from?” “Russia” “born?” “No, but my parents were, the red scare is understandable if not slightly hurtful” he explained “I can speak it too” “how old are you?” “33” “favorite color?” “Red, ironically” “can I sleep here tonight?” He smiled at that question kissing you quick “of course my love”

Here you were (fucking finally) showered and in a big shirt cuddling against Francis, him kissing you gently randomly making you gleam. He held you so close it felt like he wanted to become one physically, you kissed back both of you acting like puppy’s in love.

You slept peacefully that night

By the wayyy send suggestions for the cat’s name and breed! I’ll do a poll before the next chapter

[mariaofdoranelle]

Mistletinder

Masterlist

Merry Christmas/Yulemas, @writtenonreceipts! I hope this fic finds you well. I was so happy when I got you in the draw because I admire you so much, and I hope you have as much fun reading your gift as I had writing it ❤️

@rowaelinscourt thank you for organizing the secret Santa!

Warnings: moderate alcohol intake

Words: 4,7k

“This is gonna bite you in the ass someday, you know?” Sellene reproached from behind the steering wheel. Her friend couldn’t see what Aelin was doing on her phone, but somehow she knew.

“Shh!” Aelin looked behind her to check on the girls, but they were still sound asleep. At the age of four, if they listened to any curse word, it’d be forever until they stopped repeating it over and over again. At least, from what she was told, the Whitethorn family was used to small children and their demands. It was the whole reason why she was spending Yulemas with them, after all.

Aelin and Maisie were on their own now, and when Sellene all but dragged them to her family’s farm because of all the kids and animals, it was hard to argue. After the year from hell they had, a nice Yulemas was the least she could do for Maisie.

“You’re avoiding the subject,” Sellene insisted.

“Yes. Because I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“But you sure seem to want to keep doing it, huh?”

When you’re broke after your divorce and your business isn’t thriving, ain’t it funny what you’ll do?

On one drunken night amidst her separation, Aelin downloaded Tinder and scheduled a date on the bookstore café she owned. But when she freaked out and canceled right after the guy—Archer—arrived, she could only watch from her mezzanine office, amazed, as he stuffed his face with baked goods and left with two books.

After that, luring people from Tinder into Fireheart Books & Cafe was just a small part of her marketing plan. And the most unethical one.

“It’s a lucrative strategy,” Aelin said, feeling defensive.

“That you don’t need anymore.” Sellene rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you just butcher the anthropology section to fit more tables?”

Yes. For the same reason Aelin added sidewalk dining tables. “Your point is?”

“Did you at least give someone a try while you’re at it?”

Once. Just one person that made her actually enjoy the execution of her plan, even extending it so she’d talk to him more before ghosting. Conversation flowed, and Aelin had already gone on some dates at that point after her separation, but she wasn’t naïve enough to think she’d find love on Tinder.

“That app is a lost cause, Sel.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t find some good hot dates.” Her friend wiggled her eyebrows. “I know I did.”

Aelin managed to muffle her laughter with one hand so the two sleeping beauties on the back wouldn’t wake up. She brushed her daughter’s chestnut hair away from her face, watching the way she leaned on her friend during their nap. Maisie and Bree were thick as thieves in preschool and, as single moms, Aelin and Sellene would frequently help each other out.

Sellene has a hot date? Auntie Ae and Maisie will happily have Bree for a sleepover.

Aelin is busy at the book shop? Auntie Sel and Bree can drop Maisie there when school is over.

Sellene was godsend this year, and listening to her rant about her love life was just one of the fun perks of being so close to her. If the few dates Aelin went to this year actually happened, it was because her friend insisted.

“So, how’s that thing with Ilias again?” Aelin said, desperate to change the subject.

A groan. “You will not believe what he texted me this morning…”

Aelin let her friend go on about her situationship, a little relieved that she wasn’t the focus of the conversation anymore.

Truth was, she was a little anxious about this Yulemas. Sellene guaranteed that her family was too big for Aelin to intrude in something intimate, and the Whitethorns were properly notified about her stay, but that nagging feeling that her and Maisie were crashing the party wouldn’t go.

After they got to the farm, it was a while before they reached the house.

When Sellene told her about all the family traditions and how homey it was, Aelin expected an old farmhouse of sorts. To be honest, she didn’t think much about how the house would look, but she definitely wasn’t expecting a classic-looking manor with an exterior made of white stone.

A blonde woman showed up on the porch before Sel parked the car, then she ran inside and came back, tugging a man by the arm. By that time, they were already leaving the car with their bags, but the older couple still insisted on helping them.

Rory and Owen, her friend’s aunt and uncle, as they introduced themselves. Aelin’s introduction was brief, since Sellene filled her family in on who she was beforehand, but they still made small talk. Though she wasn’t paying much attention, too caught up on the similarity between Sellene and Owen. Her friend joked about some strong traits running in her family, but this was uncanny.

“Genetics, huh?” Sellene said, a teasing grin on her face.

Aelin was staring, wasn’t she? Oops. “Yes, genetics.” She turned to Owen. “I can’t believe you’re not even her father!”

Rory laughed and urged them inside. “Come on, darling, there’s a lot of silver hair and green eyes for you to compare.” She smirked before she added, “And if you happen to like it, my son is single. Thirty-one, stable job, goes to the gym a lot—“

“Auntie,” Sellene reproached.

The matron frowned. “I’m not being very smooth, am I?”

Her husband gave her two gentle taps on the shoulder. “You’re never smooth at matchmaking, darling.”

Rory gave Aelin an apologetic smile before continuing, “We’re stuck with some housework right now, but if you can wait—“

“I’ll show her around,” Sellene said, waving her aunt off.

“Alright, then. Pick any empty room you’d like.” Rory turned to Aelin. “You and your little one are the most welcome, make yourselves at home,” she said with a beam before scurrying away to the kitchen.

And about Aelin’s little one: where the hell was she?

Sellene leaned closer to Aelin and murmured, “But you can totally flirt with my cousins if you’d like. There’s a whole bunch of them for you to pick.”

“I don’t think I’ll have time for that, but thanks.” Not that she wants to, but it’ll become a hard no if she’ll have to wrangle Maisie all the time.

“I saw them coming inside.” Sellene tugged Aelin. “Don’t worry, she’s safe here.”

“Your house is not.” At least not with her four-year-old on the loose.

The two women dropped their bags by the entrance and ran around looking for them, calling their names. Aelin couldn’t register much other than white walls and wooden furniture, her mind filled with what could Maisie possibly break in this small time frame, and how much it costs.

Aelin’s worry was peaking when she listened to her daughter’s voice coming from another porch, this one attached to the living room.

"Do you do your tattoos alone, or does your mom help you too?"

The man blinked, confused, until Maisie showed him the few Barbie bubblegum tattoos on her forearm. She gave it a pointed look, then to the many tattoos he had on his left arm, taking most of the limb.

Aelin decided it was best to make herself known, introduce yourself, and see if this stranger needed rescuing from her curious preschooler. She couldn’t see this man’s face from her point-of-view, but she had an inkling of who he could be because of his—shocker—silver hair.

“Maisie!” She called from afar, “I was looking for—“

The words died in her throat when she recognized the man before her. Aelin’s core felt ice-cold all of a sudden, despite the dangerous pounding of her heart. There was no way in hell this was happening, and she blamed Tinder for not requiring users to use their last name there.

“Aelin.” He made a point of looking at his bare wrist, as if checking the time. “I think you’re a bit late for our date.”

˜˜

Upstairs, in the safety of her bedroom, Sellene had the gall to cackle.

Aelin glared at her. “Could you not?”

Before ten minutes ago, her friend was absolutely clueless to the fact that Aelin and Rowan knew each other, just like she had no clue that Sellene and Rowan are cousins. But it saved her, since the woman walked into that porch and spared Aelin from doing any talking.

“Alright, lemme just…” Sellene turned away, as if Aelin couldn’t see her friend’s shoulders shaking from behind. Then she took a deep breath and turned back around. “Alright.” A twitch on the corner of her lips that was quickly concealed. “But you said you liked him?”

“That’s not the point!” Aelin said, pacing in the empty space between the bed and the wall.

Chatting with Rowan was nice, and she may have indulged in conversation with him more than she usually lets herself, but Aelin felt so drained after her divorce. She let herself be dragged to dates sometimes, but she didn’t have it in herself to fully face the dating scene again.

Sellene rolled her eyes and threw herself on the bed. “That’s the key point, actually. It’ll define our entire course of action.”

“Nope. Our course of action is whatever protects Maisie from this mess.”

Aelin was so afraid of fucking up Maisie’s Yulemas when she got here, she didn’t realize she’d potentially fucked up even before arriving. Her throat felt thick just to think of it.

Sellene squeezed her hand. “He’s not gonna cause a scandal or anything, Rowan’s not like that.”

“He’s not going to tell your incredibly welcoming family that I’m actually a cold-hearted milf that stood him up and ghosted?”

“Okay,” Sel trailed, grimacing. “He’s not like that, but he is a bit of a gossip, so…”

Aelin sat on the edge of the bed and groaned, her face resting in both hands. Whether he had a big mouth or not, she needed to fix this. Because she couldn’t put Maisie’s Yulemas in jeopardy, yes, but also because Rowan deserves an apology.

Truth is, Aelin never felt tempted to give a chance to the guys she chatted with, because everyone she met on Tinder could be classified as one of: a chronic manwhore, overall gross, or gross for a single but relevant reason, or a misogynist bigot. And sometimes she even liked to leave them stranded, especially when they fell into the latter category.

Usually, Aelin just acted flirty enough to let the guy think something other than coffee would happen, that way he’d run to their ‘date’ without wasting more of their time.

But there were exceptions, of course, and Rowan was one of them. He wasn’t exactly chatty, but she still found herself texting him back and forth late at night for almost two weeks. When he oh-so-gently requested to meet her in person after dropping some hints about it here and there to no avail, she knew she had to cut this short.

It was just business, or so she told herself when it was time to cancel the plans that were never bound to happen. Aelin didn’t have space in her life for much else.

But now the girls, Rowan and a few other Whitethorns were off to see the baby goats and some other kid-friendly farm animals, which gave Aelin a small time frame to plan her next move.

Sellene got up from her bed, nothing but determination on her face. “Here’s what we’re gonna do: we’ll wait downstairs. When they come back, I’ll keep an eye on Maisie while you scurry him away to apologize.”

This was the lamest plan Aelin has ever gotten into. “I expected better scheming from you.”

“No scheming this time,” her friend warned, “just tell him the truth.”

And that was what Aelin kept in mind, as she waited with Sel in the kitchen under the disguise of chatting with Rory.

The kids barreled into the room a while later, chatting about the farm animals they saw, petted, or even fed. Rowan lingered on the other side of the kitchen, carefully avoiding Aelin’s eyes while he rectified the little one’s exaggerated stories with things like actually, no goat charged at them, they just wail all the time.

Despite the high excitement, Maisie’s attention drifted when she noticed the batch of gingerbread men coming off the oven.

“My grandma makes gingerbread people too,” she said to Rory, then frowned. “Do you know my grandma?”

Aelin’s heart squeezed at the sight. She was hoping to keep Maisie’s mind off her father’s family these holidays.

“I’m afraid not, honey. Is she from Doranelle too?”

“No, she lives very, very, very far. I need to get on a plane to see her.”

“That’s very far indeed.” Rory chuckled. “What’s she doing this year?”

Maisie shrugged. “I don’t know. I can’t have Yulemas with Daddy this year because he’s stuck in prison.”

The room fell silent, all eyes on her little girl’s outcast expression as Aelin’s face grew impossibly hot. Gods, her daughter sure had a way with words.

“Because he’s a prison psychologist,” Aelin amended, to everyone’s relief, by the way their shoulders collectively relaxed.

Chaol wasn’t seeing his daughter these holidays because he was too busy in the Southern Continent with his girlfriend—former mistress—but there was no way Aelin was telling her little girl that. Work was the go-to excuse to why he missed so many bi-monthly visitations, and it worked for Yulemas too.

One day, Maisie would understand that Aelin has been a single mom since long before her divorce. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t try to postpone said realization for as long as she could.

“Oh, how silly of me! I forgot to get rosemary.” Rory changed the subject when silence reigned, thank Mala. The time when Chaol was a touchy subject was long gone, but people still tiptoed around it with her.

The woman continued, “Aelin, darling, could you get me some, please?”

“Sure…” she trailed, looking around. “Where can I—“

“Rowan will show you the garden,” Rory quipped.

And Aelin thought that getting him alone for a moment would be tricky. Clearly, she underestimated his mother.

Rowan glared at the older woman, but she didn’t waver. Instead, the more that odd exchange lasted, the more Rory seemed to enjoy forcing her son to spend time with someone he clearly didn’t want around.

Fuck, Aelin needed to fix this immediately.

He gestured to the open back door in the kitchen, and led her to a kitchen garden close to the house.

Sunshine glanced off the leaves which vegetables, herbs and fruit grew, and Aelin wished she could enjoy its beauty more. The smell of fresh herbs and sound of the leaves shuddering were the only soothing things, given the conversation she had ahead.

She waited for him to make a start, to no avail. Perhaps he did, earlier today when she first saw him, right before Sellene walked in and they pretended that first exchange didn’t happen.

“I’m sorry.”

Rowan’s step faltered for a second. He gave her a curt nod, and continued his stroll towards the rosemary shrubs.

She continued, “I shouldn’t have stood you up, it was really shitty of me and I totally deserve it if you hate me right now.” A pause. “But I was hoping we could put this aside for Yulemas, you know? Being in the same house and all.”

“Alright,” he said while slowly nodding, and Aelin’s shoulders loosened up with relief for a moment, until he finally looked her in the eye and added, “I'll go easy on you if you tell me what happened.”

“I told you, I’ve been having a hard time dating after my—“

“Yeah, you told me that in your apology text, but I feel like there’s something missing.”

He got her there. It was true, but not the ugly truth.

“Remember the shop I asked you to meet me at?”

He nodded.

“I own it. And my Tinder account is strictly for… cash inflow.”

This time, he fully stopped. He studied Aelin with widened eyes, and after judging the seriousness in her expression, he laughed. It was loud and full, overpowering the gentle flutter of the leaves and birds’ wings around them.

He kneeled by the shrub, snapped a few branches with his fingers, and it was just then that Aelin realized they had already arrived at their destination.

“You’re not mad?”

Rowan shrugged, and she wanted to read his expression so bad, but he had his back to her, still working on his mother’s rosemary. “I guess should be mad. I’m definitely impressed. It’s a very clever move.”

Aelin didn’t know if she should thank him or not. “But are we cool?”

He chuckled, something more amicable in his eyes this time, when he turned around. “Yes, sure. It was just online dating. Do you know how often people get ghosted? I wasn’t gonna start a riot because of that.”

“‘Kay, thanks.” He was being such a nice sport, his forgiveness only worsened the guilt she felt. “And though you’re right about that, I’d be totally mad and petty if someone stood me up. Just saying.”

“I wasn’t mad that you stood me up—“

Aelin sent him a cut-the-bullshit look.

He sighed and continued, “Alright, I was upset. Not mad. What actually made me mad is that you ghosted me after that.”

She stopped mid-stride, her head tilted. This made absolutely no sense. Rowan broke eye contact to rearrange the branches inside the small bag, making his fingers busy for a small moment of awkward silence that lasted a lifetime in Aelin’s head.

“I liked you, Aelin. You didn’t have to do that for me to visit your coffee shop.”

Aelin didn’t want to think about why his words stung, but they did.

˜˜

Engaging in conversation at dinner would be a lot easier if Maisie was eating, not showing Bree magic tricks.

She placed a french fry on the table, between her and her friend. “Now close your eyes,” Maisie commanded. When her friend complied, she shoved the fry in her mouth and said, “Ta-da!”

Bree opened her eyes, and the loud gasp she let out after noticing the fry was gone gave Aelin a good chuckle.

“Do it again!” Sellene’s daughter said, clapping her hands.

“Maybe you could do it with the cucumber this time?” Aelin cut in.

Maisie turned to her mother with all seriousness a four-year-old can muster. “Mommy, it’s Friday. We only eat fries.”

Being the little entertainer she is, the people near Maisie laughed, not for the first time this dinner. Including Rowan, who sat next to Sellene, almost in front of her. It was weird, hearing his laughter instead of reading a “haha”. A good weird. Still weird. For Mala’s sake, she needs to sort her feelings out.

“You are such a silly goose,” her friend said, fondness filling her eyes.

“No, Auntie Sel, you are a silly goose. I’m a silly gosling.” The little girl took her time pronouncing each syllable of the last word, careful to get it right.

Aelin’s mouth was ajar as she stared at her. “Where did you learn that?”

“Wowan.” Maisie said, beaming. “We’re bestest friends now because he’s an animal doctor, and he promised to show me all his animal friends so I can be friends with them too.”

“Is that so?” Aelin plastered on a smile, hoping it wasn’t too strained. It didn’t go unnoticed that he was nice enough to Maisie for her to consider him her new ‘bestest friend’, even before Aelin apologized. Fuck, she needed to unpack this later.

When she dared a glance at Rowan, he looked a little stiff, but still gave her a quick, close-lipped smile. “She likes the baby goats.”

Aelin would know. Maisie talked about them all day.

“Wowan, I’ll do a magic trick.”

He turned his full attention towards Maisie.

She continued, “Did you see me do it before?”

“Yes.”

“Try to forget.”

“I can’t do it, Maisie, I saw you do that trick too many times.” He leaned back on his chair, a lazy smirk on. “But I haven’t seen you make the cucumber disappear.”

She jolted on her seat, put a cucumber slice on the table, pointed a finger at Rowan and yelled, “Close your eyes!”

When he complied, Maisie ate that cucumber with a ferocity Aelin had never seen before.

“Dear Mala,” Rowan said when he opened his eyes, feigning shock. “Do it again.”

And that’s how he convinced her to eat every single vegetable on her plate. Fuck, he sure knows how to woo a single mom.

Not woo, Aelin chastised herself. Rowan said he liked her. In the past tense. Which should be a relief, but this wasn’t how she felt as she watched him smile at her daughter and make her have fun while eating healthy.

Rowan stole a glance at her, but Aelin had her eyes on him already. He swallowed, likely unsure of what to do after being caught staring while she was already staring.

Thank you, she mouthed so Maisie wouldn’t hear. To her surprise, his eyes softened, and he gave her a small smile.

Relief finally washed over her, when Aelin realized that the awkwardness in his expression had vanished.

˜˜

As predicted, Maisie was so hyper Aelin didn’t manage to properly enjoy the farm herself. But she didn’t mind it, since her daughter was the whole purpose of this trip. Besides, sometimes watching the kids play could be better than TV.

“I wanted to go out to eat with you, not you and your baby!” Maisie’s arms flailed around as she tried to explain her frustration.

Bree clutched her doll to her chest, a wounded look on her face. “But I can’t leave my baby alone!”

Rowan, who was just passing by the living room, froze when he registered what was going on. He turned to Aelin, confusion written all over his face, and discreetly sat by her side on the couch.

“Everything alright?”

Aelin pointed at the tea party toy set near the girls. “They’re at a pretend restaurant, eating pretend food and talking about their pretend jobs.” A pause so she wouldn’t start laughing here and there. “Maisie was expecting a girls’ night, but Bree brought her baby with her.”

“Oh, I see.” Aelin’s gaze swept over him for a minute, and it was unfair how good his pine-green eyes looked when they were filled with amusement like this. “Whose side are you on?”

“I’m getting popcorn. You?”

“I don’t know,” he murmured, “I think this is a very complex issue. We can’t read it under a Manichaean view.”

Aelin chuckled, and they fell into comfortable silence while watching the girls. Rowan’s pine scent hit her senses, but it was the chilly wind coming from the window that made her shiver.

“You cold?”

She shrugged. “Not that much.”

Rowan stood up. “I’ll warm us up.”

“You’re getting a blanket?”

“Better,” Rowan said, a troublesome glint in his eyes. “Wine.”

Not as effective as a blanket, but definitely more fun.

“Merlot?” He suggested with his head tilted.

Unbelievable. Aelin briefly mentioned her favorite type of wine to this man over text in a late night conversation, and he still remembered it weeks later.

Rowan seemed to misread her silence, his expression becoming guarded. “But I can share the bottle with Enda if you don’t feel like it.”

Aelin’s gaze quickly turned to her daughter before she focused back on him. “Can it wait until after Maisie’s bedtime?”

Rowan took a step back with a grin on, and his eyes wouldn’t leave Aelin. “I’ll get the snacks ready.”

After wrangling Maisie around the house a little more and putting her to bed, Aelin found herself in the same living room as before. However, this time, the tea party set on the table was replaced by a small charcuterie board and two glasses of red wine.

They talked about their lives for hours. Now it was nearing midnight, and none of them seemed to grow tired of each other’s companies. It was just easy like that with him, and she knew it. Too easy, was what Aelin told herself in her office as she let him down. Too easy to be true, and not the delusion of a lonely twenty-nine-year-old divorcée.

Aelin had so many reasons why she couldn’t give Rowan a real chance, but she couldn’t remember a single one of them right now. Actually, she could remember, they just felt… small.

Too bad she was too late.

“And you never thought to move back here? Being a vet and all?”

Rowan sipped his wine. “I’ve lived in the city since I was a teenager, my whole life’s there. But I visit a lot.”

“And your cousins?”

“Not as much, but Yulemas is always here.” He cocked his head, his expression shifting as he grinned at her. “Though the company is usually much less good-looking.”

Aelin blinked. She stared at the glass of wine. It was her second, and Aelin knew her limits. She wasn’t even tipsy. It couldn’t be.

“Rowan Whitethorn… are you flirting with me?”

“Yes, I’ve been trying for a while.” A pause. “Is it working?”

Wow. She looked around, mind racing and empty at the same time. A turned-off TV. Potted plants with fairy lights on. A mistletoe. Gifts under a tree.

Rowan was flirting with her.

Rowan, Maisie’s new “bestest friend”. Kind, attentive Rowan who remembered her favorite wine and looked as delicious as the Focaccia bread he stole from the kitchen for her.

Rowan, who seemed to give her a second chance even when she didn’t deserve it.

“It’s working, yeah.”

He didn’t dare say a word after her response, and neither did she. He leaned forward, barely blinking as he tried to meet her eye.

Aelin needed to say something. She wanted to say something else, but it was hard to do it while she felt her old resolutions shatter like a wall of glass.

Going on shitty date after shitty date so she could find someone reasonably good, until something happened and she had to go back to the stream of shitty dates? No, meeting new people was a hard no for now.

But it was different when she had already met someone, right? Aelin wasn’t ready to give dating a chance, but she was more than willing to give Rowan a chance.

She got up and tugged Rowan’s hand.

“What?”

Aelin tugged on it again, so he got up from the couch too. Wordlessly, she led him to a spot right under the beam that divided the living room and the hallway.

She pointed at the mistletoe above them. “Oh, look.”

“Wow.”

“I definitely didn’t see that and drag you here.”

“And my mother definitely didn’t fill the house with mistletoes tonight because she’s in love with you and Maisie.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” she lied.

“So surprising.”

“Shocking.”

“Can I kiss you now?”

“Absolu—”

Rowan pulled their lips together, cupping her face with both hands while she wrapped her arms around him. Their lips brushed together, and it was almost unfair how soft he felt. He gently nipped hers so Aelin would open up to him, and the kiss was sweet and hungry at the same time. His hands traveled down her neck and arms, making her shiver, until he reached her waist and tugged her closer.

Well, fuck. If Aelin didn’t have any doubts about giving this a chance anymore, she didn’t know what to call it now. A negative amount of doubts? Anyway, her mind was jello. Aelin couldn’t know where this was going, but she knew she’d let it happen now. No more holding back.

Rowan broke the kiss and put their foreheads together, breathlessly breathing her in with closed eyes.

“If I ask you out on another date, will you show up this time?”

“Yes,” Aelin said, right before her parted lips morphed into a teasing smirk. “And I might even delete Tinder, depending on how large your coffee order is.”

You can get notified when I update by either turning notifications on for @backtobl4ck-fics or entering my (sometimes glitchy) tag list!!

TAG LIST

I couldn’t tag the people in bold, sorry!

@aelinchocolatelover

@autumnbabylon

@bookcide

@booksandteaonarainydayislife

@cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

@courtofjurdan

@dreamer-133

@elentiyawhitethorn

@elizarikaallen

@emily-gsh

@empress-ofbloodshed

@fangirlprincess09

@goddess-aelin

@gracie-rosee

@leiawritesstories

@lululululululuop

@renxzs

@rowanaelinn

@s-uppertime

@sarahjswift

@staghorn-mountains

@superspiritfestival

@swankii-art-teacher

@thegreyj

@throneofus7

@violet-mermaid7

@wishfulimaginings

[singingcicadas]

As a shallow, low-brow person who enjoys the satisfaction of eating from the good old cliche cake of karmic retribution, Death of Optimus Prime makes me distinctly uncomfortable in a way that excessive depictions of gore/body horror/violence/abuse does not. I think it’s the underlying moral of the entire thing that gets to me: the implication that no good deed goes unpunished, that those who chose to flee in times of need are entitled to mock the sacrifices of those who chose to stand and fight while enjoying the world they made possible. The irrationality of the motley crowd. The heartless apathy of the people. The desperation for peace trumping the need for justice. 

The main thing I got out of this issue is that… it isn’t worth it. The altruism. The ideals. You can give and give until every last vestige of your life is bled dry and there will still always be people who stand gorging on the sustenance of your flesh while pointing their fingers and saying “well we didn’t ask you to. Maybe it would have been better if you didn’t. Why didn’t you do better? Why didn’t you do more?” 

Like it’s not enough to sacrifice the Matrix, it’s not enough to sacrifice your life, it’s not enough to sacrifice everything and have those sacrifices be unrecognized and scorned by the very people you made the sacrifice for, they’d make you give up your identity as well, your name, your position, and then finally your right to exist within the world you won back; they’d take and take until you have nothing left to give and it still won’t be enough, it’ll always be you are just as bad, because how dare you inconvenience our lives by having the audacity to stand up against evil. While conveniently disregarding the fact that everyone’d all be living (or dying) under the Decepticons’ lovely governance if the Autobots didn’t fight back. Or as part of Zeta’s vamparc ribbon. Or under the functionalists hoping their alt-modes never get booted into the obsolete category. It’s like the fucking Giving Tree except at least the boy has a better attitude towards the tree.

I don’t disagree with the NAILs’ standpoint as a concept, it’s interesting and does add depth to the story, but the way it’s treated is. um. rubs me in every wrong way possible. 

Like. this is no. Just no. It's one thing for the NAILs and Decepticons to want Optimus gone; they have their own interests. Their motivations, while ignoble, are still understandable. But for Bumblebee to agree? To the point where he’d even exile Optimus himself if he didn’t want to leave? Bumblebee. Bumblebee, conscience of the Autobots. Bumblebee, whose kindness is so all-encompassing that he can find compassion for even Megatron and Starscream. Bumble-I-owe-Prime-everything-bee.

“Tonight for the first time all Cybertronians are united” wtf. This is wrong on so many levels. Optimus led you through the war. He led you to the victory of the war. Without his military leadership you wouldn’t be standing there worrying about keeping peace in the first place, because there would not be any peace to keep. Unless you’re interested in living under peace through tyranny. And you’re just going to throw him out now that he’s filled his purpose, because your enemies and dissenters are united in wanting him get thrown out. He’s guilty of what. exactly. existing?

Talk about appeasement. Talk about using someone as a means to an end. Even the Scavengers are better than that they didn't give up Grimlock. This isn’t how you treat someone that you owe a debt of gratitude to. This isn’t how you treat a friend, nor a comrade. This isn’t how a loyal soldier treats his leader. This isn’t how a decent person treats another person, period. 

Then there’s the whole subsequent plot line where Starscream gets to be the leader of Cybertron. Is that some sort of political vent or. What’s it supposed to imply? That the masses are mindless and easily manipulated. Elections are bad. People can’t be trusted with democracy cuz they’re stupid and selfish. Deceit and manipulation are not only more effective than brute might but also triumphs over genuine intent. And the good guys just. rolls along with it. Then gets backstabbed a bajillion times. Then still keep rolling along after getting backstabbed a bajillion times. Like why. What did you expect. What’s the point of fighting for so many years if you’re so desperate for peace that you don’t even care what kind of person is ruling you? Ruling your home, your planet, your compatriots? Your comrades? Did all those Autobots who died during the war just. die for nothing. Why didn’t you just surrender to Megatron when he first offered then. Why not simply kept your heads down and accept Sentinel. Zeta. The functionalists. At least less people would have died that way. 

It’s not even a matter of oh everyone is a war criminal there’s no victors in war everything’s morally grey and complicated or any of that twisted contrived grimdark shit. It’s a lack of common sense. Trusting the SIC of your enemy faction who’s a known mass murderer/notoriously famous backstabber once is giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Continuing to allow him to rule your planet after getting backstabbed betrayed sabotaged almost-killed multiple times is stupidity. It’s enablement. Complacency. Since when did everyone decide that the best method of dealing with a self-serving entitled prick who lied and killed and manipulated his way up to dictatorship under a farce of democracy and faked 'god-chosen’ bullshit is to leave him in charge and wait for him to develop a conscience.

And then the perspective of the colonists. “Look what your wars, hatreds, and ambitions have brought us,” they said. “You’re all gross. Why can’t you just stop fighting?” Easy words, from people who lived the majority of their lives in relative peace and ease. From those who had the privilege of growing up knowing no deaths, no functionalism, no crushing stratification. As if Cybertron hadn’t been led astray from the beginning by Shockwave and locked into an endless cycle of violence and oppression ever since the dawn of its civilization. As if Cybertronians ever got a chance at a peaceful fulfilling life. Four million years of war is horrific. But where would the Cybertronians be, if the war never happened? Oh right cowering under the functionalists. What if there were no functionalists? Then it’s Nova Sentinel Zeta. What if the Autobots didn’t fight?  Peace through tyranny and a universe wiped free of organic lifeforms. From the moment they opened their eyes, each and every Cybertronian from the time of Onyx Prime to the last constructed MTO has been cast into a dystopia so deeply entrenched as to be inescapable. It’s suffering all around. What other choices did they have? 

So speaketh the colonist, built on the back of Cybertronian expansion. Which is funny because Unicron is literally a product of colonialism.

The story seems to imply in so many ways that war is an inherent crime in and of itself. It doesn’t matter who initiated it. It doesn’t matter if you were the aggressor or the defensive or forced into it as a last resort. It doesn’t matter who or what you were fighting for. It doesn’t matter that you tried your best to remain true to your ideals through so many long years of violence under impossible conditions. To the eyes of the lofty outsider, the apathetic bystander, simply participating makes you just as bad as the other side. It doesn’t matter how horrible the alternative would have been if you’d rolled over and didn’t resist. In the end everything fades into inconsequence; the only legacy left behind is destruction. Everyone is a killer.

But no actually. war doesn’t work like that. History doesn’t work like that. For those who's never experienced the circumstances firsthand, never suffered through the choices or the lack thereof, what right do they have to judge?

[aimfor-theheart]

cielo!! i am coming here with soft, cold pillows and warm socks for the comfiest sleep ever!!! ☁️🧦 i hope you’re having the loveliest weekend so far 🥺

i am so curious (again!!! if this isn’t too private…🤭), between you and megs who is the blanket hogger? who runs colder? warmer? 🥺 who tucks their cold feet underneath the other?

SEL. i fr need the comfiest sleep ever…i haven’t been sleeping well and i hope this ask blesses me tonight 🙏🙏 i hope you’re also having a lovely weekend!! and you also get some good rest!

and omg this is so cute….i am defs the blanket hogger between us. i think i run on the colder side naturally and am usually trying to steal some warmth from him! but i think if he’s been outside and his hands are cold, he likes to try and do the same lol he tries to even the score a bit from all the times i press my cold hands to the nape of his neck

[shirohige-pirates]

Birds of a Feather

CisFem Reader x Marco

CW: Violence, blood, language, adult themes and scenes. 18+ only

Summary: Life has not been kind to you. After a string of bad relationships, you're a little jaded and a little depressed in all honestly. The worst day of your life seems to be the turning point, but the roller coaster ride that follows could either throw you soaring free, or have you caged forever?

Tag List: @clumsyraccoon

Chapter 26: Ivan-Cause

You gave Marco a quick kiss before exiting the SEL and heading up into the office. You’d both agreed to trade off who drove, so that neither car would accidentally sit for too long. You had a lot to talk to Ivan about, and the only thing that weighed on you as you took the elevator to your floor was where to start.

Once you got off the elevator, you were greeted by Buggy, peering from over the top of his cubicle. You could see the questions in his eyes, and you gave him a soft smile even as you handed off a cup of coffee from Sanji’s café. Despite not getting to bed until later than you would’ve preferred, you were both up early, and decided to celebrate your first Monday living together by treating your respective offices to coffee.

“What’s up Bugs?”

“You got dropped off.” He says, taking the coffee with a quiet thank you.

“Were you staring out the window or something?”

“No, well, no not really, but you’re usually in earlier on Mondays and I was worried. I wasn’t staring, I just saw. It’s a flashy car.” He takes a sip. “But it’s not your Firebird.”

“It’s not, but it is a really nice car.” You admit. “Nice driver too.”

Buggy chokes on his coffee, sputtering a moment and mopping up the small mess quickly. “The vet?”

You nod. “Yes, the vet… His name’s Marco.”

Buggy’s eyes nearly fall out of his head. “You already know his name?”

“Buggy, we’ve gone on a couple dates, of course I know his name!” You huff.

“Well, yeah, but you didn’t even say The Mechanic’s,” he emphasizes the title in a snobby voice, rolling his eyes, “name until like, months into it, and I don’t know that the one business man even had a name.”

You put a hand over your face, hoping that there weren’t any obvious signs of embarrassment scrawled on it. You knew Buggy wasn’t nearly as oblivious as he tended to act, but having him toss your own insecurities about names in your face like this was a bit much.

Names just had an intimacy as far as you were concerned. Maybe it was just a hangup you’d learned from your family, who tended to use titles and surnames almost exclusively, even amongst one another.

“Is Ivan in?” You question in a long-suffering tone.

Buggy nods. “Got in before me, he’s been in the office with the door closed, but no one else is in there.”

You give Buggy your thanks, and go over to the desk nearest Ivan’s office, handing out the other coffee to Bon-chan.

“Bon-bon, how’s the boss?” You question, pulling Ivan’s and your drink free from the caddy.

“Ah, thank you, thank you.” He says, taking a drink before answering you. “Ivana was busy busy this morning, but she did say to let you in if you needed it. I think you have some good news?” He prompts, giving you a delighted knowing look.

“I shouldn’t be surprised you all would catch on so fast, but yes. I do have some good news. News I want Ivan to know first, for one, and from me before anyone else.” You assert.

“Goodness, you make it sound like you’re getting married.” Bonclay teases and your jaw goes slack.

“No! No, not y-. Not at all. We’re just… I’m just…” You sigh and set your head down on the desk. “You heard nothing.”

“I heard nothing.” He agrees, patting your shoulder lightly before you turn and go into Ivan’s office.

You knock before entering, hearing Ivan call you in before you press the lever style handle down with your elbow, using your hip to open the door to avoid spilling the coffees you had. Ivan was in lady mode, looking over some paperwork, intently enough she was using her glasses like she was supposed to.

“Hey mom,” you say, setting down a coffee and taking a sip of your own.

“Ah, this is a pleasurable meeting, not a business one.” Ivan replies, looking over the frame of her glasses and smiling. “The vet, he is nice, no?”

“He is.” You agree. “And you know him already. Have known him, I imagine, for longer than I have.”

She considers things for a moment, nodding her head before taking a drink. “You’re a smart one. You sorted out the underbelly of our operations quickly, and then you operated in a way that made it look like they didn’t even exist. Knowing you knew, but opted not to say anything, I let it be. It is the same with Pops’ boys.”

“Except I didn’t know.” You point out.

“Not until you knew.” Ivan replies. “You sorted it out on your own, and you came across one of them on your own. I didn’t even so much as hint at their involvement, above board or otherwise.”

You start to say something and then stop, taking another sip and nodding. “Point made.” You’re quiet for a moment before continuing. “He’s… staying at my place.”

Ivankov freezes in place for a moment, before slowly setting the paper work down, taking off her glasses, and folding her hands together before looking at you. You aren’t sure what to say, or if you need to wait for Ivan to say something. This is the first time in your life where you’d gotten this kind of reaction out of her.

“He was kicked out from the mansion?”

“… No.” You answer. Suddenly you feel like you’re twelve, fresh off the docks and caught by the scruff of your neck like a cat again. “I didn’t want him to go home, so he’s brought over some clothes and amenities, and is… staying… over.”

“Interesting.”

You open your mouth a couple times and close it. Ivan’s tone is mostly neutral, but you’re not sure if the hints of amusement in it are truly amused, or on the verge of protective anger. “… How so?”

“You and Marco had something in common, in that you both tended to politely keep people at quite the length. I understand why, for both of you,” she explains, waving away the need for details and returning to her paperwork. “But it is interesting to me that you’ve opened up to one another so completely, and so quickly.”

“Yeah… we uh… that is…”

“Did you sort out on whose boat that you arrived here?”

“… Yes.” You tilt your head. You were aware that Ivankov was at the center of a lot of threads of information, but you have to admit you’re a little surprised about how well she’s keeping pace with everything.

“My dear child,” Ivan begins, reaching across the desk and taking your hands in hers. She always did this when she had something exceptionally important to talk about. “Did you tell him about your biological family?”

You could feel your stomach knot. Technically, you’d never even told Ivan, but given how the conversation was going, you were quickly understanding you never needed to.

You nod. “Just last night.”

“He stayed, and drove you into work this morning. That’s all I need to know.” She assures you, patting your hand before leaning back. “Marco has always been a kind soul, in the years I’ve known him. Fair and firm, slow to anger, and able to let go of such rage even if it rose up within him. He played his role on the ship well, and has transitioned into his role with the end of the great pirate era.

“Healthy in heart and head.” She returns to her paper work, giving you one more assuring smile. “I would have supported whoever you decided to trust, but of all the people I know on this island, I cannot see a better choice.”

You sit there quietly for a moment, sipping your coffee while Ivan works. She doesn’t shoo you out, and after a few long moments, you break the silence to ask the one question still gnawing at your brain. One you were certain you knew the answer to, but you wanted to be sure.

“You knew all of it, didn’t you?” You question.

Ivan pauses again, leaning back a little. “It took me a couple years, but yes. I knew what island you came from, and I knew what was happening there. That was enough, but one time - just once, mind you - I saw you go into your room. You were so painfully careful about keeping it a secret, I doubt anyone else ever saw.” She admits. “Such knowledge will never pass my lips, of that you can be sure.”

You sink into the chair, a strange and powerful sense of relief turning your muscles and bones to mush. It wasn’t just the relief of not being alone in the knowledge of who you were, but it was also the feeling of acceptance. Ivan knew and not once, in all those years, did she treat you one way or another because of it.

And the knowledge of the Library would’ve been far more useful beyond just what you did to help.

“Thank you.” The words are quiet. Firm, but fragile at the same time. A weight of years behind them and the tremulous shudder of relief all at the same time.

“As unnecessary as it is, you are welcome.” Ivan responds, eyes on her paperwork more than anything else. Whatever it is that has her busy today must be pressing, but she’s still giving you as much of her focus as she can spare. “It is all about freedom, child. All of it. How they lived, how we operate, what we hope to achieve, and what was left unspoken between us. It is no good if your decisions aren’t your own. As much for me, as you, as Marco - even Buggy shouldn’t ever feel coerced into action.

“Much as he may need the occasional kick in the backside to be prompted into it.”

There’s a moment of silence, and then Ivan sighs a little, shifting before your eyes from a woman to a man. Simultaneously sillier in this form, he was also usually more serious too.

“If the impossible should happen, and he brings you sorrow, I shall give him my most powerful wink.” Ivankov asserts, before giving you a big grin. “And you can tell him so!”

You laugh. “I’ll be sure to warn him,” you promise, standing up and coming around to Ivan’s side of the desk, giving him a hug. “Thanks, dad.”

“Of course, little stray, of course.” He says, patting your back.

[kkotda]

koi koi koi!!! i am dropping by with a few things i find pretty bc april is so very pretty to me! 🍞🌻💭🌷☀️🫧✨🌱💗🍓 how are you?? i hope the month is lovely to you 🥺

i also come back with a curious sel question 🤓 a more technical writing one but, what is your anchor point to writing a character like hajime or kenma? what part of them do you like exploring and what quality of theirs stays the same to you across any universe you put them in? 🥺

MISS SEL!!!! trading pretty things (i shall cherish yours with my life)!!!: ✨🩷🌷💐🌙☔️🌊🍀🪴🍮

i hope april is perfect to you <3

OOH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD QUESTION (cut because it got so insanely long 😭)

okay um so warning it’s 4am so i might ramble/yap too much but for iwa (because ik he’s your fav :3) i like to imagine like what evokes protection/dependence/reliability (ik these aren’t great words so it’s purely off vibes) because i imagine iwa (well generally this applies to any character if we really get down to it, but him in particular <3) as the forest of forests: he’s the kind to have his hand on your lower back as he guides you through dense crowds. or he’ll be the one to pull you in, hands on your waist, resting his head on your shoulder (this gets me so weak!!!! i’m just a girl!!!!!). he might even be the one with the yearning gazes, heart longing for yours, and watching you from afar as he basks in your warmth and is completely entranced by your light. he might be the one completely at your mercy, chasing for your lips, for your touch. etc etc right lol but to get back to the question (;-;) i think my anchor point for him is his dependability if that makes sense?? how you can always rely him, his loyalty. it’s criminal how i haven’t actually written anything for him in such a long time (that needs to change like immediately) but i think i’ll enjoy not being shackled to “canon” iwa and it would really be nice to explore my interpretation of him and what i imagine his character to be! rather than what used to be popular with him as the “tall brooding bf” (at least from what i saw ;-;) i want him to be so in love he’s sick to his stomach. he’s just a boy after all!!! <3 no matter what, anything he does will make me weak. absolutely weak. sliding down walls, clutching my fake pearls weak. LOL but yeah i actually really really want to write for him now omg this is not good (lie)

AND KENMA (kyanmaaa :3) i’m going to answer this so out of order i’m sorry but the one thing that will never change about kenma is his somewhat laidback personality, his ability to stay calm and collected (so ofc i have to add a bit of flavor right?) he will always be down bad for his lover (aka me 😋) and will cave immediately (can’t ever tell them no, within reason) i love the idea of calm/“apathetic” characters losing their absolute mind and voice of reasoning for their lovers and ik kenma isn’t the typical character type for it (some might think differently than i do? which is perfectly okay ofc) in my head he is (and it fits him so well!!!!!!). i hate that i can’t answer your questions really well because it’s been so long but character complexity will always be something i love to explore and just the things that i’m down for will stay the same LOLLL (🎀). wait i was rereading and i need to elaborate on the losing voice of reason part because i didn’t explain it very well lol: he’s the soft lover, kissing your knuckles, tracing kisses up (or down! lol) your neck to your jaw (or shoulder), smoothing/playing with your hair, caressing your thumb while your hand is in his <3 it’s the keeping you close and enjoying each other’s company. it’s the soft smile playing on lips when you’re near but straight-faced when you’re far (he’s not going to look like he straight up wants to murder somebody (most times) but it’ll be obvious he’d much rather be somewhere else (obviously)). it’s the “touch them and i kill you” (oh and this with iwa too, god.) and “i never want to lose you.” mind, body, and heart getting drunk, addicted even, to the sight, feel, and sound (can’t forget taste :3) of you. can’t be apart because he’d just buy whatever ever thing he needs to be/get near you, price be damned. nothing else matters, nothing else could matter, as long as you existed within the folds of his brain and beating of his heart. i actually think i just babbled about something without really explaining what i meant to explain lol but the point is is like i love him (them, to include iwa) so much and i think if i ever could get my brain to focus on something enough, it would be this :3

tl;dr i’m down bad (and it shows)

I ACTUALLY ALSO HATE HOW MY BRAIN CANT DIFFERENTIATE EACH CHARACTER FROM EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY ALL FIT THE SCENARIOS SO WELL that will be my new goal: to create versions of each character that is so unique (or at least distinguishable) that it’s like yeah, yeah that’s xyz character and it’s like indisputable to myself

[mk-writes-stuff]

Always asks for you, mk :)

Snowdrop - What is something your OC loves, and what is something they hate?

Marigold - Describe your OC in three words or less

Awww you’re so sweet :). Sorry this one took me so long, I reblogged that ask game and then got immediately dropkicked by irl stuff

(From this ask game here)

Snowdrop: what is something your OC loves and what is something they hate?

Well the funny answer is that Belladonna and Cassie both love and hate each other right now, but I’ll give some other answers for them too :)

Belladonna: loves politics. She really does. She genuinely loves being a noble with the power to influence the stations and working to do good things with that. She hates it when people try to take that away from her, whether that’s her parents trying to disinherit her or Cassie making her look like a fool

Cassie: loves food and other luxuries afforded to the upper class on Seventh Station. She’d never admit how much she’d be upset to lose it if she lost her job. The thing she hates most is people who abuse their power to hurt others - that’s why she loathes nobles so much

Nellie: loves having friends! It’s very new to her and she finds it so exciting (and especially the possibility of dating). She hates detox. Like she wants it and is happy she’s detoxing and doesn’t want to stop but also she hates the process and how miserable it is

Marigold: Describe your OC in three words or less

I’m going to do a bunch for this one because it’s very fun (and pretty short)

Belladonna: neurotic lesbian noble

Cassie: surly buff clone

Nellie: sweet trans maidservant

Narcissus: arrogant cunty asshole

Ricinus: abusive violent nobleman

Goldenrod: guilt-tripping noblewoman

Cassiopeia: manipulative beautiful abuser

Stellaris: sweetheart autistic nobleman

Rhys: confused misprint clone

Sel: frightened autistic clone

I hope these ones catch your interest! I’m happy to elaborate on any of them if you’d like :)

And thank you again for the ask!

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 9, Unselfish - Pt. 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of past trauma, Pocket's self esteem issues.

Word Count: 1.8k

Previously On...: Jade's really doing her best in insert herself into Bucky's life. After forgetting all about you when he walked off with her at Central Park, you and Bucky have a talk, and he seems to see where you're coming from. Hopefully, you've reached an understanding.

A/N: FINALLY! Some quality Pepper Potts. I weirdly love writing her, for some reason, and she played a larger part in my original draft of this story, so I am so happy to finally give her some time to shine. To everyone getting hit by the Nor'Easter this weekend, I feel you. Currently snowed in and freezing. It's supposed to be Spring, damnit!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff

The next day, you called upon the one person you knew had been in your shoes and you hoped could help you make sense of your emotions. You knocked on the door of Pepper’s office, letting yourself in when she called out an invitation to enter.

“Pocket!” She put down the file she was perusing and stood up, walking around her desk to embrace you. “To what do I owe the pleasure, honey?”

“Hey, Pep,” you said, returning her hug with all the affection you felt for her. “Do you have a minute? I was hoping to talk to you about something.”

“For you?” she asked, motioning for you to sit in one of the armchairs that sat near the windows. “Always.” She called for her assistant to bring you both a pot of tea and you made idle small talk while you waited for it to arrive.

“So,” she said once her assistant brought the tea and poured you both a cup, then  departed with orders to hold all Pepper’s calls, “to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit? Is it business or personal?”

“Personal,” you told her, taking a sip of the Earl Grey.

“Did something happen with you and Bucky?” she asked, concern lacing her voice. “Did he do something?”

“No,” you laughed, though there was no real humor in it. “God, no. Bucky’s been perfect. I’m worried that I’m the problem.” You put your cup down and looked at her. “Pep, when you and Tony first got together, how did you handle it?”

Pepper leaned back in her chair. “You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific, honey. Tony’s given me a lot to handle over the years.”

You snickered at that. “Yeah, fair enough,” you said. “I guess I’m not really sure how to word this. We both know that, before you, Tony was a… well…”

“A giant slut?” Pepper offered.

“I was going to say something like ‘amorously adventurous’, but yeah, ‘giant slut’ also works,” you said with a laugh. “Even after you two became an official couple, women were still throwing themselves at him. How… how did you deal with it? Sometimes I just get so angry, so jealous, I want to scream. I hate feeling like this.”

Pepper reached across the coffee table and took your hand in hers. “Oh, honey,” she said, her voice conveying her sympathy. “I’m going to tell you something that took me a lot of time and pain to learn: You can’t control what other people are going to do. I won’t lie to you, it wasn’t easy for me. Every woman who made a pass at Tony, I kept thinking ‘she’s prettier, she’s smarter, she’s younger; why would he choose me when he could have any or all of them?’"

“But,” you began, “you’re Pepper Fucking Potts. You’re amazing.” The thought distressed you. If someone as absolutely wonderful as Pepper struggled like that, what hope was there for you?

“That’s what Tony said.” Pepper offered you a wistful smile. “I had to realize that it didn’t matter what any of those other women did, how they threw themselves at him. The only thing that mattered was how Tony reacted to them, and whether or not I trusted him. And I trusted him. So, you have to ask yourself: Do you trust Bucky?”

You nodded fervently. “With my life,” you said.

“No offense,” Pepper began, “but he’s your teammate. Yes, you trust him with your life, but you could say the same about Thor, or Clint, or even Rhodey. Do you trust him with your heart?”

“I do.” There was no ounce of hesitation in your answer, no pause for consideration. You trusted Bucky implicitly, with every fiber of your body and soul.

“Then you have to hold onto that,” Pepper said. “Like I said, you can’t control what other people are going to do, but you can control how you react to them. If you trust Bucky, then why waste your energy worrying about what someone else might do? Especially if you don’t have any doubts about how Bucky feels about you.”

“I know,” you sighed, “but it just feels like it’s so much easier said than done. Like, I know he loves me, but I’m so scared that one day, he’s going to wake up and realize that I’m just not worth it. That he could do so much better. Or that I’m holding him back. Did you know I’m the first person he slept with since the ‘40s?! What if he decides that he wants more? That, even though he loves me, I’m just not enough to keep him satisfied?”

Pepper exhaled and scooted forward in her chair to be closer to you, taking both your hands in hers. “Honey, I might be biased because you’re essentially my sister-in-law and I love you so much, but you are, by far, more than enough. I know you get caught up in your head, and that all of this relationship business is brand new to you, but you’re extraordinary. Look at everything you’ve overcome and where you’ve gotten yourself. Do you know how many people who have been through what you’ve endured would have just given up? Or settled for so much less?”

You halfheartedly shrugged your shoulders. “If it hadn’t been for Tony, though, I–”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Pepper interrupted gently. “Tony just saw what was already inside of you. He saw your drive, your raw talent. He knew you were starting from behind the finish line, and he just provided the resources to help you catch up. If you had been brought up the way you should have been, the way you deserved, with the love and support that parents are supposed to provide, I have no doubt that you would have found yourself here on your own eventually, with or without any assistance from Tony.”

Your throat caught with the weight of Pepper’s words. You held the CEO in the highest esteem, and to hear her speak of you this way filled your heart. “I wish you and Tony had been my real family,” you whispered, hoping to keep the cracks in your voice in check. “I love you both so much.”

Pepper’s face softened. “We might not be your blood family, honey,” she said, her eyes growing glassy with unshed tears, “but never for a minute think we aren’t your real family. You’re the family we chose, just like I hope we’re the family you chose.” You nodded in agreement– they were the family you chose– the entire team was, but Pepper and Tony were special. “I wish you could see what we all see whenever we look at you,” she said.

You swallowed thickly. “I wish I did, too.”

“Can I make an observation?” Pepper asked gently, as though afraid of overstepping. When you nodded, she continued: “Being loved has always been transactional for you. You were never allowed to just be loved for who you were; your sad excuse for a mother and her monster of a boyfriend made you work for it in the most horrible ways imaginable. They gave you less than the bare minimum, and only if they felt you’d earned it from them. That’s no way for a little girl to grow up. And it breaks my heart, because now that you’re surrounded by people who love you for you, and a man who would literally die for you, who sees no other woman than you, you’ve been so conditioned to think that, if you’re not actively working to earn that love, you don’t deserve it. And Pocket, honestly, nothing could be further from the truth. You make all of our lives better just by being in them.”

You looked down at where she still held your hands in hers. God, you wanted to believe her. She made it sound so fucking easy.

As if sensing your hesitation, Pepper went on: “I’m going to make a recommendation,” she said. “I’m making it not just as your friend, but as a sister and your boss, because I think it would be beneficial in all aspects of your life right now. You’re free to do with the recommendation whatever you like; I only ask that you seriously consider it.”

You looked at her, anxiety beginning to course through you as you ran through all the possibilities of what she could possibly have to say. You nodded for her to continue.

“I want you to consider getting yourself back into therapy,” she said, gently squeezing your hand. “We can all tell you how wonderful you are, how worthy of love, until we’re blue in the face, but it’s not going to do any good until you actually believe it.”

You looked down, ashamed to meet her eye. You had been in therapy for years while you were in college and when you first started working for Stark Industries, but you’d prided yourself on your progress and had stopped attending sessions a long time ago.

“I know you’re private when it comes to your past,” Pepper continued, “and that you don’t want anyone thinking less of you or pitying you because of what you’ve been through, but honey, it’s not healthy for you to go on this way. You’re in a whole new phase of your life right now that should be filling you with joy, but you’re unhappy. I’m not saying that to make you feel bad, or to make you feel like you can’t handle it, but don’t you think it would be good to have some help? Maybe you could talk to Tony about accessing his Virtual Therapy program. That way, you’re not divulging your secrets to a real person, but you’re still getting the help you need.”

You looked at her, considering her suggestion. It had a lot of merit, and you wouldn’t have to open up to an actual person, just FRIDAY. And Tony had created it, had trusted it with his own issues, so you knew the system would be secure, and just as good, if not better, than speaking to a human therapist.

“Yeah, okay,” you finally agreed. “I’ll talk to Tony and see what we can set up.”

The relief on Pepper’s face was palpable as she stood, pulling you up so she could embrace you again. “You’re so important to me, Pocket,” she whispered. “To all of us. None of us want to see you trapped in your head. You don’t deserve that.”

“Thanks, Pep,” you said, squeezing her back. “I’m so thankful to have you in my life.”

“I am, too, honey,” Pepper said, stepping back and releasing her hold on you. She brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen into your face. “Anytime you need anything, you know where to find me.”

You nodded, thanked her again, and made your way out of her office. Once back in the hallway, you pulled out your cell phone, dialing Tony’s number. 

“Hey, kiddo,” he answered. You could hear the sounds of DUM-E extinguishing something in the background; he was obviously down in his lab, setting something on fire. “What can I do for you?”

“Hey, Boss,” you began, taking a deep breath, “I need to ask a favor…”

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->