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getaapologist · 9 days ago

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The Tension and the Terror...........Part X

Pairing: Emperor Geta x OFC (extremely loosely, character is named but otherwise not described besides hair length)

Summary: Geta asks Letha to read to him.

Warnings: some dire, we-could've-just-died sex, a hint of a breeding kink if you squint, violence and blood, maybe Geta likes blood a bit too much, 18+ only.

Word Count: 3.9k

Part 10 of 15

[ Part IX ]

Series Masterlist

A/N: I don't have anything eloquent to say about this part, just that this was the first thing I wrote when I was exploring these characters. I hope you like it.

“I would’ve thought you’d be in bed by now.”

The sound of Geta’s voice startled Letha, bringing her out of the book. Geta stood in the doorway to the cozy library, his shoulders slumped, his posture slack. He was changed, wearing his robe and little else, save for his laurels. Perhaps he’d forgotten to remove them. She mirrored Geta’s tired smile and closed the book, watching him. It was late, almost an hour after she left him to talk down his brother. He should’ve just gone to bed.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late.”

She shook her head as he approached, setting the book on the stack of others on the small table beside the couch, making space for him. He sank into the plush couch beside her, his hand falling over one of hers. He took it up, giving it a squeeze, not meeting her eyes. She squeezed his hand back, her other hand wrapping around it too.

“How is Caracalla?”

He sighed. “He is asleep. I can only hope he feels better in the morning.”

“And how are you?”

He met her eyes, his lips narrowing as he pressed them firmly together. “I wish I could tell you I still feel amazing,” he spoke, a wistful look in his eyes, “but I am conflicted.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, her heart aching for him. She would carry all his secrets, his sadness, like it was her own if he let her.

“...Can you just sit with me?” he requested. “Read to me or don’t, I just… let me sit beside you for a while.” The desperation in his eyes was intoxicating. She could serve as his distraction. He had done enough of it for her, without knowing it.

“Shall I bore you with Ovid, or…” she examined the stack beside her, leaned over the arm of the couch, “...Virgil, Geta?”

Geta felt his smile slowly returning. “Choose whichever you feel would be best.”

She took a moment, glancing at the books in her hands before making a choice, setting the other down.

Geta took that as his cue, spreading out over the couch, his back colliding with her legs as he tried to lean back. She drew her legs up to give him more room, surely he needed it more than she did. Wordlessly, he corrected her, his hands wrapping around her ankles to pull her legs back out, his touch searing her bare skin. Before she could protest, he reclined, his back pressing into her front, his head resting against her chest, a shockingly intimate position for simply reading.

He turned, his ear pressing into the soft fabric covering her chest, listening to her heartbeat as it raced. His hands smoothed up her now-bare legs, the dress forced up high around him. He began soft, innocent strokes back and forth over the top of her thighs, finally letting out a breath he’d been holding in since the party.

“Geta, what–”

“You offered to read to me, Letha,” he reminded her, interrupting her panicked words, looking up at her with his large chestnut eyes, “so here I am.”

All arguments died on her tongue as she stared down at him, his expression unreadable. She forced herself to look away, choosing instead to devote her attention to the book in her hands as her skin grew hot. Her nerves at an all-time high, she began to read.

She started off a bit shaky, still getting used to Geta’s closeness again, his physical touch, but soon her voice leveled out and she even let herself indulge in the way his fingers moved over her skin. If anyone saw them there, tucked away in the library together, it would be impossible to explain away.

Holding the book open in one hand, her other eventually wound into his soft copper hair, impeded by the golden laurel crown he still wore. She moved lower, running her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, mirroring his own pattern making.

After a few minutes he abandoned her thighs. She barely contained a sound of protest as he sat up between her legs, only really able to once she saw him lifting the beautiful crown from his head. He set it on the ledge of a bookshelf behind the couch. She didn’t have words any longer, his silent actions pulling taut a hot cord low in her belly, reminding her of their earlier encounter.

He was lying between her legs not as an Emperor, but as a man.

“I didn’t mean to distract you,” he spoke quietly, though the rise in his cheeks showed he knew what he’d done. As if on purpose. “Please, continue.”

A few heartbeats more and she did, relaxing once his hot hands returned to her thighs, her own fingers resuming their ministrations, spreading out further now that the crown lay beside him, glittering in the candlelight.

He left out a soft grunt of satisfaction, the sweet sound stoking the flames within her. It was so hard for her to focus now, the words on the page beginning to blur together as she attempted to recreate the sound in her mind.

“We can stop,” he offered, his voice barely a whisper.

She shook her head, though he couldn’t see it, and continued reading.

This book had never bored her more than it did right now.

Letha couldn’t have said when it happened, but at some point she’d fallen asleep while tucked behind the tall Emperor. Geta didn’t mind at all, also feeling the pull of Somnus on his eyelids.

They laid there together for almost an hour before the attacker stepped into the room.

Letha awoke gently, though she was immediately free from the grogginess that usually followed, sensing something off. The book had fallen to the floor from her dangling hand, rousing her. As she leaned down a bit more to collect it, she froze, her eyes landing on a pair of dark brown, almost black boots.

She followed them up as her fingers wrapped around the book, fear driving her fight or flight response as adrenaline put life back in her limbs. The blade glinted in the stranger’s hand and as he raised it, Geta began to stir against her. She felt a jolt of panic.

The stranger’s eyes left hers and darted over to watch Geta as he moved a bit, beginning to wake. Before she could warn the assassin off of what he was about to do, he lifted the blade, eager to bring it down into the slumbering Emperor.

She moved without thought, lifting the book up into the blade’s path. It sank into the bound parchment, poking through to the other side, perilously close to her palm. Relieved to see Geta so far unharmed, she twisted the book in her hands, freeing the blade from their attacker’s grip. She quickly tossed the damaged book deeper into the library. He watched it go, a bit surprised.

“Leave,” she begged him, her voice shaky. She could feel Geta grip her calf tighter in sleep and she knew she wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Whatever it took.

“Macrinus sent me here for you,” the man clarified, “This is just providence.”

The words were like ice in her veins.

He readied himself for a fight. Letha was forced to push Geta off of her and onto the floor so she could get to her feet in time to meet the assassin’s lunge.

Geta was startled awake, confused at what he was witnessing. Letha’s foot came down startlingly close to his face as she pushed back against the attacker, a loud crash sounding as he was forced into one of the many bookcases lining the walls.

Geta remembered sending the guards posted outside the door away upon his arrival and realized immediately just how stupid he’d been. He would never be safe here, in this city.

He sat up, watching her straining to topple his attacker. He couldn’t deny the rush that overtook him. She was fighting for him.

The assassin trapped one of her arms, twisting it harshly. Letha cried out, her eyes squeezed shut as the man pressed at the still-healing wound on her shoulder. It was all Geta needed to get to his feet, risking his own safety to wrap a strong arm around the man’s neck, pulling him off of Letha.

The man reached for his throat, attempting to pull Geta’s arm away, but it was futile. Geta was quite strong, he just never had to make use of his strength, was never shown how to wield it properly. The man pushed back, forcing Geta into a low table. They both crashed down through it, the narrow wooden legs splintering under their combined weight. An elbow to Geta’s ribs got him to loosen his grip and the man rolled away from him, sputtering.

Letha was on him in a flash, one of his arms trapped behind his back, pinned by the weight of her on his chest, but the other was free to reach for her, finding purchase in her hair, yanking down hard.

“Letha!” Geta shouted, holding up a sharp piece of the broken table, tossing it to her. It landed beside her and she pulled against the man’s grip to reach over for it, her fingers only barely grabbing on.

She pushed it harshly into his neck, the grip on her hair going slack immediately. Hot, traitorous blood burst out of the high-pressure vessel, splashing all over her face and neck. She leaned all of her weight onto the piece of wood, letting it sink further and further in, watching carefully for any signs of a second wind as the attacker bled out on the library floor.

Geta couldn’t breathe, the sight before him beyond his wildest dreams. His very own Tisiphone in the flesh, red blood dripping down her cheek.

Letha fell back off their attacker and crawled away, leaning up against the bottom of the couch. Geta winced as he stood, but kept his eyes on her, sinking down to the floor beside her. He watched her come down off the adrenaline, the fury slowly fading from her eyes to be replaced by fear. Uncertainty. They were safe, their attacker lying dead, but it didn’t seem to matter.

She breathed heavily, turning to Geta but not touching him, her blood-slick hands held up between them, unwilling to take hold of anything lest she stain it. She wouldn’t look up at him. Geta thought she looked a little lost, a sliver of vulnerability showing through in her silence.

“Letha,” Geta spoke, his voice full of worry for her. “Are you hurt?” he asked, his hands gripping her forearms as he checked for wounds that might have been made before he’d woken up on the floor.

All she could do was shake her head.

“Good,” he breathed, relieved. He studied her as she calmed down, still avoiding his eyes.

“Did you hit your head?” she finally asked, her eyes meeting his.

“No,” he answered.

“Okay,” she whispered, eyes once again filling with worry.

Every bit of him was screaming to kiss her, to reward her for protecting him without a second thought. His hands moved to her face, lifting it. She closed her eyes in comfort, letting out a sigh. It was the only sign he needed.

He leaned down, his lips finding hers, kissing her as gently as he could. He could taste the iron splashed across her skin, its presence a reminder of what she had done for him, her willingness to protect him, but also her violence. He could still vividly picture her fingers curling over the lip of that chestplate, had dreams about it. He couldn’t deny the way it still affected him.

They should be out, seeking the Praetorians. He should be furious, questioning how this was allowed to happen, calling on Tegula at this late hour. He should be checking on his brother–

Her bloody hands squeezed his wrists and he could feel the slick of it transferring onto him. All other concerns were washed away.

He got on his knees, bringing her up with him, their mouths never disconnecting. Her touches grew more desperate, her hands smoothing up to find purchase in his hair, at his neck. He let his own hands fall away, one wrapping around her waist, the other hefting her thigh up as he moved her into his lap, propped up by the bottom of the couch behind her.

She moved against him, releasing his mouth with a gasp as she felt him beneath her, his hard length hardly hidden by the thin material of his robe. He felt dazed as she pulled it open, baring his chest and shoulders to her, as well as his aching cock.

He inhaled sharply as she experimentally rolled her hips against his, sliding herself against him with intention. It took all his strength to not buck up into her right then. Her skirts had already been pushed up around her waist by their movements, no barrier between them any longer. Her eyes moved up from where they met to check if this was okay, if he wanted her to continue.

Yes, yes he did.

He smothered her unspoken question with his lips, one of his hands diving down between them to prepare her for him. She let out a gasp that morphed into a sob at the feeling of his large fingers exploring her. She was used to her own touch, soft and teasing. His fingers created molten metal wherever they touched, currently circling that pleasurable place his mouth had been attached to earlier–

“Thank you,” he breathed into her skin, a finger sliding into her tight warmth, eliciting a gasp from her as she squeezed his bare shoulder.

“Geta,” she moaned, nails digging in.

He soothed her, his warm brown eyes staring up through hers and into her soul, his finger still torturously passing in and out of her. He watched her eyelids flutter as he added a second finger, her slick coating making it too easy to get carried away. She let her eyes fall shut as she bit her lip between her teeth, her hips moving on their own to try to relieve the pressure he was creating between her thighs.

She was beautiful beneath the streak of drying blood, her small sounds driving him mad. He leaned up and captured her swollen lips with his, his tongue delving deep as his thumb drew unintelligible patterns over her most sensitive spot. He wanted them to melt together into one. He wanted this forever. There was no alternative he was willing to consider. He would make it so.

He felt her clench around his fingers and withdrew them immediately, needing to be inside, to give in to what he wanted so desperately. She whined into his mouth and he stifled the rush of lust that filled him at her reaction. She had a hold on him, her touch met with real love as he looked in her eyes. Her pupils were blown wide and she appeared as if she’d had a few dozen ships of wine from his cup. He felt drunk too, whether it was off the violence he’d witnessed up close or her, he couldn’t say.

“I need you,” she admitted, her fingers finding the nape of his neck, pressing her forehead down to his.

He was powerless to resist her. His Venus. She had been distilled into this form, just for him. Sent to him by way of divine intervention. There was no other explanation for how he caved to her, would put himself in danger for her. Felt love for her.

He reached down and lifted her hips, using the couch for support as he passed his tip through her slick folds, using her wetness to coat himself before he pushed up into her, a blade finding its sheath.

She sucked in a ragged breath, her bloodied hands finding his cheeks as she acclimated to the presence of him buried so deep. She nodded to him, burying her face in his neck as she urged him to move with a gentle roll of her hips, forcing them both to gasp.

He knew she’d been so close a moment ago, and he knew he wouldn’t last, not long enough for what she deserved. But he hoped desperately that there would be more chances to come together like this.

He withdrew and pushed right back inside her, moving painfully slowly, her moans strangled against the blood-streaked skin of his neck.

Letha wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she met his next thrust with one of her own. She wondered if this was Elysium. Maybe the assassin had been successful and she’d never know the pain of dying, only this.

She could stay wrapped up in Geta forever. Now that they had joined, she would never let them unjoin. He could hold council here on the floor of the library, indecent, the both of them bare for all to see.

She could hardly breathe as he made good on all his threats, his teasing glances, his stray hands. Seeing him this way filled her with a new appreciation for the cocky Emperor. One she was hesitant to put words to. For all she knew, this one moment would finally satisfy him. The mystery would be gone and he would move on to the next shiny, flitting thing. She knew she would never move from this place, this moment.

But even deeper still, part of her knew this was important to him, too. She didn’t know exactly when, but she’d come into possession of a piece of him. A sliver of his trust. She just wished desperately that she didn’t have to betray it.

“Letha,” he panted, his cheek pressed to hers, “I need to–”

A flush passed over her as she realized what his words meant. As she started to lift herself off him, his grip pulled her back down, his look desperate.

“Stay,” he breathed.

She nodded, bringing their mouths back together. She moaned into him as his fingers returned between them, rubbing gentle swirls, urging her on. Her walls clenched around him, forcing a grunt from his throat, her release so tantalizingly close.

“With me,” he whispered, begging. She listened, the idea of what he was asking of her all she needed before she began seizing up around him. Rhythmic contractions pulled at him as white hot heat pulsed through her, forcing her eyes shut as she moaned into his skin, body trembling in his arms.

She heard him grunting, his breathing erratic as he bucked up into her, a soft warmth filling her as he finished, his forehead falling to her uninjured shoulder.

In the silence she became aware of sweat running down her spine, the undersides of her thighs, could feel it under her hands as they smoothed over his skin, smearing new stains over his shoulders. She crushed his cheek to her chest. She didn’t want to give him up to the world. Just a minute longer.

Eventually she was able to lift her head and meet his eyes, finding tenderness there.

He spoke first.

“You saved me, again,” he smiled, his voice low, fatigued. “The scale of your eventual celebration grows each day, Letha.”

His jest filled her heart and she couldn’t hold back her own smile. “I don’t need a celebration. You’ve been so good to me.”

“Are you happy here?” His words were loaded with meaning. She could see him searching her eyes for an answer.

“Very.”

The answer comforted him, more than he would ever let on. “Good.”

He squeezed her hip, shifting slightly beneath her. He tried to get up but she grabbed at his leg, trying to keep him close. She didn’t want it to end.

The sound of armor clinking and boots stomping filled the hall outside the room, shattering their sanctuary. There wasn’t time to extricate himself from her, so he simply did his best to cover her bare lower half with his own body, her chest still covered by her bloodied dress.

“Emperor, are you hurt? We heard…”

The Praetorians took in the scene, the shattered furniture, the dead man on the floor across the room. Books and scrolls toppled from shelves. Their Emperor bare as the day he was born, kneeling on the floor in front of a couch, looking over his shoulder, another sitting before him, a woman, with blood on her cheek–

“Avert your eyes,” Geta instructed. They obeyed immediately.

“Emperor, are you hurt?”

“I am fine,” he insisted, his tone sharp. “Find out who paid this man. Interrogate the whole Senate, if you must.”

“Yes, Emperor,” the guard bowed, careful to keep his eyes off the woman in Geta’s lap.

“And get out!” Geta shouted, waving them off.

They wasted no time, two of them bending low to drag the assassin out of the room as the rest of them quickly made their exit.

Geta sighed, his eyes meeting hers, the tender moment shattered. “I can draw us a bath,” he offered.

“Us?” Letha questioned, a cautious smile pulling at the corners of her lips.

Geta lifted an eyebrow, keeping his smile hidden. “Do you think I’m letting you out of my sight now?”

The notion filled her with a nervous excitement. She would take all she could get. “Okay,” she agreed, eager to scrub her skin. And Geta’s, she thought, noticing all the smears of blood over his shoulders, his neck, his arms. Her doing.

As she moved to try to stand, she winced, going slack in his lap. “I… I might need you to help me up,” she admitted, embarrassed.

“Already making demands of your Emperor, hmm?” At his teasing, Letha looked over to where he’d laid his laurels. He followed her eyes. “Come on,” he urged, lifting her up off his lap. She pushed off from the couch, allowing him to move out from under her.

Geta stood, his long legs and narrow waist on display as he reached down for Letha, helping her to her feet. It was a lot for her to take in, but she looked away quickly so he couldn’t accuse her of staring.

“Are you okay?” he asked, watching her for signs her legs might give out. She nodded, avoiding looking at him. Satisfied she was stable, he picked his robe up off the ground, throwing it on and holding it closed. He took a moment to pull some of her dress back down, ensuring she was covered.

“We should check on Caracalla,” she suggested.

“It’s on the way to the baths.”

Letha assumed he was already planning to check in, even before she asked. Of course he was.

“Can you hold on to this for me?”

At his question Letha turned, looking up at him. He held the golden laurel crown in his hands and set it reverently on her head, his hands falling to his sides once he was done placing it.

It meant nothing, she told herself. It’s just a symbol, a symbol of a kingdom she wasn’t a part of. But she was, wasn’t she? She was here. There wasn’t exactly anything to return to, even if she wanted to.

And here was this man, treating her well, looking out for her. Offering to slay a man responsible for so much direct harm in her life. Placing a crown atop her head, and looking down at her as if he meant forever.

Gods, it stung.

“Geta, I need to tell you something,” she spoke, her heart pounding.

“Let’s check that my brother is sleeping soundly first.”

His smile was so pure, so pleasant. How could she shatter his worldview now?

The morning. She could tell him in the morning. Just enjoy the rest of the night before it all gets ripped away.

[ Part XI ]

#emperor geta x ofc #emperor geta x reader #gladiator ii x reader #gladiator 2 x reader #emperor geta #joseph quinn x reader

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myfictionaldreams · 2 years ago

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hi! i’m that asshole anon :/

at the time i really was just very upset about the fics! theres so many people who don't care to grow and change, or dont care if it “glamourizes” that behavior. it was for sure a knee jerk reaction. i definitely should have chosen my words better and could've for sure been kinder. I do want to say that while the dynamics weren't good your writing is FANTASTIC!!! ive seen you on ao3 and your work is sincerely really good.

i'm sorry that my (rude) message made you feel bad, i think you are an amazing writer and I appreciate you coming back with a nicer response than I would've. I really do feel bad.

your smut is done really well, and i’m hiding behind the anon wall because at first it was just bc i have a *tiny* following. but now its because i’m so very ashamed at my behavior. i do agree that that was shitty and I don’t deserve any kindness or good will.

i can see that you’re a growing writer and I do understand how much those kind of comments can be. again you are a good writer. i think maybe reading those felt like such a shock and I should’ve handled it better, maybe come to you in private with respect and after cooling down. i only wrote that to you because I wasn’t seeing disclaimers for the ones that i was talking about (on ao3)

i sincerely apologize, I hope that I didn’t make you feel bad or discourage you in any way. I was far too harsh and I understand that we are all human and none of us are perfect. I wanted to explain my feelings, but not excuse my actions. i wish i had a time machine. and i appreciate you as a writer, and when the time comes I hope you can forgive me <3

Hi! firstly sorry for taking a few days to respond my personal life has been very hectic & also needed to think about what/how to say my response.

Right, firstly i really really appreciate you returning and apologising and understanding that way that you worded the message was wrong etc and it’s clear from this message you do feel bad and understand that it was wrong so I do want to thank you for that.

However, I really do want to emphasis how difficult these negative/hateful messages make writers feel. This message or any other hate messages I will always remember, particularly when its feedback for things that aren’t intentinal (such as the bdsm dynamic you referred too). Sometimes writing doesn’t always come across how I wanted to in my mind and doesnt mean that it is written with malicious intent. Furthermore, there are ALWAYS warnings on my writing that I do feel like people just half read and don’t fully take into account. Yes, I could have labelled it further to specify that the reader enjoyed to be punished therefore there was pre-agreed consent but as I said, it was one of my very first fanfics so had a lot to learn still.

Again, I really do appreciate your response because every time I reply to a hateful anon, they never come back and I feel like it wasn’t worth the response in the first place so I’m very happy that you’ve actually read my explanation etc and giving me another chance.

Just for future though, for you or ANYONE going to send a message, always do it with kindness and education in mind. It’s hard to see that you have mentioned that you have enjoyed my other work so you know my writing style and still felt that one fic was glamourising something so negative you felt the need to send me a hurtful and patronising message instead of taking a moment to think ‘oh i like the other fics, this one is a bit different maybe i should message just to clarify’ - instead of what was sent in the first place and just assuming that I’m willing to write abusive fics.

But anyway, all is forgiven because I really hate negativity, I hope you are also doing ok, I do believe you are sorry and regret sending the message so everything is absolutely fine, lessons are learnt on both end of this interaction. Sending peace and love ღღ

#anon #asks*

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yamanorakuen · 3 years ago

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Okay but what if the characters met someone special to Mc who’s now dead?

Like the opposite that would be angsty but so cool!

Feel free to ignore this ask lol

Obey Me! Brothers meeting MC's desceased loved one

Thanks for the request! Sorry this took quite a long time, I've had a busy week and I wrote a little bit every day instead of binge-writing the whole post in one to three parts like usually.

That's a really sweet idea! I tried to come up with many different relations to MC so they all can't be accurate to everyone's experience; and I do assign some sort of personality to each desceased loved one that might differ from your experience and reality; but I hope as many people as possible can find at least one that makes sense or hits home in one way or another. I also hope these don't come across as offensive in any way, that is not my intention.

TW: Mentions of deaths and causes of deaths (illness, car accident, suicide, second-degree murder, old age). It's quite a dark topic but not very descriptive.

[Side character's vers.] HERE

Lucifer had thought about your family more times than he'd like to admit.

He holds his brothers dear to him and is sure you have someone out there that you care about deeply that shares blood with you.

However, he never asks, letting you speak to him if you so wish.

But you never talk about your family.

So one day his curiosity gets the best of him and he goes through your file again in hopes of finding crumbs of information on your family.

He finds absolutely nothing.

But it all changes one day when Diavolo summons him to the castle.

There he found a ghostly woman, screaming at Lord Diavolo and Barbatos, her face red with anger.

"Why have you demons kidnapped my niece/nephew?! Return them back to the human world this instant!" The lady yelled, stomping their feet. Lucifer couldn't help but sigh.

"Ma'am, take a deep breath. We assure that your niece/nephew has been and will continue to be safe with us." Barbatos tried to explain calmly but the lady was having none of it.

"You're demons! How could I take your word for it?!" She continued to yell obscenities. Lucifer noticed a frown of Diavolo's face so her just had to intervene.

"Excuse me, ma'am. My name is Lucifer Morninstar and your niece/nephew lives under my roof-" Lucifer didn't even get to finish his introduction before the woman started to target him.

"They live with YOU?! Lucifer Morningstar himself?! Oh Lord have mercy on my sweet baby.." She started to make the cross sign, shaking her head.

"Why yes, MC lives with Lucifer and his six little brothers, under their protection. I can assure you that they are highly competent to take care of them." Diavolo smiled politely to the woman.

"They. Live. With. Seven. Demons?!" It almost looked like the woman would have a heart attack any second now, "You wretched demons have seduced my sweet darling and tricked them to make pacts with you that doom them forever! How I wish I could've protected them better.." She found the closest chair and just crumpled, sitting down while holding her head in her hands.

"How did you learn all of this? Better yet, how did you find us?" Lucifer finally asked after a brief silence.

"I knew MC had been chosen as an exchange student in some faraway land.. I didn't know it would be another realm altogether," the woman sighed, "Not until I died. I passed away and didn't even get to say my goodbyes to them! Things back in the human world are chaotic right now, a virus is going around, claiming lives of many.. I'm honestly happy they're not there right now."

"Did that virus kill you?" Lucifer questioned and the woman nodded as an answer.

"And I was offered a chance to check up on my loved ones, so of course I had to pick my sweet MC.. And to my horror, I ended up here, IN HELL of all possible places. I've always been a good person, as has my niece/nephew, we don't belong here!" it was as if your aunt was trying to prove something with their words.

"So you wanted to say your goodbyes to MC and was surprised when you found yourself in here, yes?" Barbatos peeped in.

"Yes. I can see everything now I used to be blind to. It's truly odd," she smiled sadly, seemingly calming down and her previous fury having been converted to wistfulness, "Would you please let me see them? For one last time? So I can tell them not to look for me when they go back home.. They're going to go home, right?" The woman questioned with tears in her eyes.

The Fantastic Three exchanged meaningful glances. At the beginning of the exchange program they had told the exchange students they were not allowed to bring any family or friends to Devildom but this situation was different. First off, you hadn't asked your aunt to visit. Second off, she had just died. Thirdly, you had the right to know if something like that had happened in your private life.

Diavolo's and Barbatos were looking at Lucifer expectently, letting him to make the final call whether he'd let this woman under his roof to see you.

Lucifer on the other hand was staring at the woman, a battle inside his mind. At the same time, this woman had been incredibly rude and mean towards their whole race but on the other hand, that anger had came out of fear and confusion of the new place and their new state as recently desceased. All the information you must receive upon death must be overwhelming.

"Yes, you may. But only briefly." Lucifer finally gave in. He saw a lot of you in your aunt, so naturally he was partial in some way. And he wanted you to have that special chance to meet your aunt for the last time.

Your aunt's eyes lit up at Lucifer's answer, a wide smile appearing on their mouth. She dried her eyes and got up quickly, straightening her clothes.

"Show me the way! I want to see them!" she demanded, a pep in her step as she already started to make her way out of the room.

Lucifer shot an exasperated look to Lord Diavolo and Barbatos before following her out, taking her to the House of Lamentation.

Lucifer let you two speak in private, making sure no one was going to intervene as you exchanged your teary goodbyes. And when your aunt was finally gone, Lucifer made sure to lessen some of your school work and pampered you with some small gifts as his way to show support through grief. He might have not gotten along with your aunt that well but he saw how the news had taken its toll on you.

You were visiting the human world alongside with Mammon, letting him meet your family for the first time. To your surprise, no big scandal had yet taken place.

You introduced him as Marcus though as you did not want to disclose your boyfriend's demonic identity to everyone quite yet.

You were gathered at a family meeting at your aunt's house. Almost all of the extended family from that side of the family was present.

Mammon, being the avatar of greed, decided to take a sneaky look around for any valuables he could swipe. He had promised you not to, but he's instincts were just overpowering him!

He walked around the house, taking looks at the room, silent as a mouse.

Then he finally saw it.. In one of the bedrooms, there was a cupboard full of medals and trophies of some sort. Mammon walked closer, seeing they were from a variety of sports - mostly baseball, but also track and football.

'Maybe no one notices if I take one or two...' Mammon thought to himself before opening the cupboard door, reaching for one of the medals...

"Stop right there. Those are mine." he suddenly heard a voice behind that made him jump.

At the door stood a boy, around your age, crossing his arms with a scowl on his face. Mammon quickly shut the cupboard door and tried to come up with a believable lie.

"I was just taking a look, ya hear!" he explained himself, trying to keep his cool, "Who are you, dude? I don't think we've been introduced yet.." Mammon spoke as he walked closer.

"I'm MC's cousin. You must be Marcus, right?" the boy nodded, not moving from his place at the doorway.

"I'm Mam- Yeah, Marcus!" Mammon nodded furiously, remembering their secret plan to keep Mammon's demonic identity secret from MC's family, "I can see the similarities," Mammon grinned as he put his hand around your shoulder. Only his hand phased through the boy, "W-What?!" he screamed, looking between his hand and the boy.

"Why do you think you haven't been introduced to me yet," the boy shook his head and walked up to his nightstand, taking a picture and showing it to Mammon. It was from his funeral, "I died at a car crash some years ago." he told Mammon with a sad smile.

Mammon's mouth hang open after hearing that, too flabbergasted to say anything at all first. MC had never mentioned their deceased cousin to him before.. Had they? Mammon racked his brain, thinking back to all the times MC had told him about their family but couldn't recall this one.

"Oh, um.. So what's up, bro?" Mammon turned his frown upside down with a grin, wanting to ease the tensions in the air.

"Not much is going on once your dead," your cousin rolled his eyes, "Other than my cousin's boyfriend breaking into my old room, lookin for stuff to sell, it seems.."

"Eh, let bygones be bygones! I barely even remember doing that!" Mammon shook the comment off, shrugging.

"Whatever.. I won't be doing much with my trophies anyway.." the ghost sighed and picked up another framed photo. It depicted you and your cousins as children. The ghost of your cousin looked down at the picture, smile filled with nostalgia.

"Is that MC?" Mammon looked over his shoulder and pointed at the little kid in the photo that resembled you the most. The young man nodded.

"Yeah, that's them. We were always real close growing up. Like Bonnie and Clyde or Jekyll and Hyde," he chuckled, "They were really excited for me when I got my drivers liscence. They brought me a keychain for my car keys and we celebrated together. The night before I died.. They called me and we talked about future and such. I wanted to be a professional athlete and MC always believed in my dreams.. And the next day.. All of those dreams were snuffed out, just like my life."

Mammon could sense the pain and bitterness behind his words and didn't dare to stop him, just looking at the photo with intent.

You looked so happy and young in the photo.. So did your cousin who was now dead. He was once again reminded by your mortality and short life span and it felt like a punch in the gut.

"Why are you here, then?" Mammon asked the boy who finally put the photo down, turning to face Mammon.

"Can't I be a little protective over my darling cousin, hm?" the boy mused with a smile, "I know you're the same. You're looking after them too, right? You want to protect them, even if sometimes it feels like it's the other way around. They have that effect on the people around them."

Mammon's cheeks flushed as he looked down at his feet, "Y-yeah.." he muttered, scratching the back of his head absentmindedly.

"I don't really have much other purpose. I guess I just wanted to be introduced to you like the rest of the family.." the boy shrugged, "Mammon."

"Huh?! Whatcha call me?" Mammon's eyes shot back up at the words. Had he let his real identity slip? Mammon's comedic reaction caused your cousin to laugh.

"I'm dead. We know way more than the living. You might fool my mother and my father, but not me," he snickered, "I know you're a demon.. But I really don't mind. At least you're bound to my cousin.. And you'll stay with them until they're old and gray."

Mammon was silent, both from being flustered and from thinking. 'Maybe he's right..' he thought silently.

"Oh, but could you give this back to them?" the cousin suddenly exclaimed and handed a keychain to Mammon, "They bought this to me as a gift, remember? I want them to have it back. They have more use to it than I do anyway. Don't you think about selling it!" he made Mammon swear on MC's name that he'd give the keychain to them and not sell it for profit. Mammon didn't think he could break a promise sworn on MC's name.

"Just tell them you found it while exploring. Don't mention me." the ghost of MC's cousin spoke before walking off without another word, leaving Mammon alone in the room. A moment passed in silence where Mammon was inspecting the keychain.

"Marcus! Where did you wander off to?" He suddenly heard you calling for him, knocked out of his trance. He pocketed the keychain before walking out of the room to see you and press a kiss to your temple.

Leviathan was visiting the local Game Stop all alone, which was rare to him, but you had asked him to pick up a physical copy of a certain game you wanted and he just couldn't say no to you.

He was looking around the area where the game was supposed to be, but found nothing. Maybe it had been sold out..?

That's what he thought but just as he was about to text you about the sad news and whether you wanted him to pick up another game, someone poked his back.

He turned around and saw a girl, perhaps a tear or two younger than you, standing behind him, holding a copy of that game you wanted.

Leviathan's eyes widened and he didn't know what to say; that girl had the last copy of the game you so wanted, but his anxiety went through the roof when he thought that he had to confront the girl.

Luckily for him, the girl spoke up first; "This is the game MC wants, right? Here." she offered the game towards Leviathan with a small smile.

It took a moment for Leviathan to compute what the girl had said even though his hands reached out for the game automatically, "Wait, how did you know? How do you know MC?" he finally questioned, squinting.

"I'm MC's friend! And they always loved to play games like these.. I was picking it up for them, but then I remembered, well.." the girl trailed off, his smile turning upside down.

"Remembered what?" Leviathan was utterly confused.

"They can't see me anymore," the girl sighed, shoulders slumped, "I'm around them all the time, but they just can't see or hear me. None of you usually can."

"What are you talking about?" Leviathan pressed further, his head swimming with the possibilities. This sounded like straight out of some anime!

"I'm a ghost," the girl sighed with longing in her eyes, "I took my own life, I just couldn't take it anymore. But I felt bad leaving my best friend behind, so.. I kinda got to hang around. I'm with her often, daily, but she just can't sense me.."

"W-W-Wait, you're a ghost?!" Leviathan yelled, not believing his ears, "Then, why can I see you now if we don't normally see you?"

"Perhaps it's because we have a common goal," the girl shrugged, "we both want to make MC happy, right?" she grinned at Leviathan, her smile bright like sunrise.

They both fell silent for a moment after that, Leviathan trying to catch up with all the sudden infromation that had been dumped onto him, your friend trying to find a way to convay her feelings and thoughts in an effecive way before Levi leaves.

"Hey, Leviathan.. Can I ask you for a small favor?" your friend asked, her voice small. Leviathan turned his gaze at her again.

"What do you want?" he asked, unsure.

"Can you tell MC... That it's not their fault I did what I did. I know they tried their all to help me... And I'm grateful for their friendship. Tell them that I'm always watching out for them and that I feel better now than before. That I'm okay. That's all." the girl laughed, tears in her eyes as she looked at Leviathan with hope. Those eyes had seen so much despair in their lives.. Yet now, they were shining with hope.

Leviathan was silent for a moment before nodding, "I know how much friends mean.. I mean, MC is like Henry to me- I guess you don't know about TSL, but calling someone your Henry is like calling them your soulmate in a way! I guess MC was kinda like Henry to you too, right? So of course I'll keep this promise! I swear on my love of anime!" he rambled, unable to stop himself from talking until he heard the girl giggle.

"I'm glad," she kept giggling, "I was about to tell you that if you ever break MC's heart, I'll haunt you but- I don't think I have to worry about that!"

Leviathan didn't know whether to feel offended or complimented by that comment.

"Well.. I gotta go. I feel tired.. But I'll be around. I'll always be around, okay?" the girl smiled before slowly fading away..

Leviathan stood there for a moment, head reeling, before taking the game and walking up to the counters to pay for it. He was already thinking how to bring up this meeting with you without making you feel weird or overly upset.

You and Satan had found abandoned young kittens from the side of the road one day while walking home from school.

Obviously you couldn't leave them to fend to themselves so Satan wrapped them up in his jacket and you two carried them back to his room in secret. You knew Lucifer wouldn't let you keep the kittens had he learnt about their existance.

After that day you started to raise the kittens together

You had started to call Satan the kittens' daddy, because it was both cute and funny. Satan didn't find it all to funny, but couldn't complain when he saw the look on your face when you called him by that name.

One day you had asked him, "Does it bother you that I call you their dad? You know, with the whole business with you and Lucifer and all.." you looked into Satan's eyes seriously.

"Not really, at least not anymore," Satan shrugged nonchalantly, "but don't call Lucifer my dad." he sighed, shaking his head.

"Oh, yeah! Sorry, my bad!" you chuckled apologetically but fell quiet soon afterwards. Satan started to realize there might have been something more behind your question.

"I'm sorry if I'm disrespecting your privacy but.. I don't remember you talking about your father before. What is he like?" Satan inquired curiously yet carefully.

"My dad.." you trailed off, a gentle smile appearing on your lips, "he was a funny guy. He never missed a school event. He was very protective of me." you laughed at the memory but fell silent and serious again right afterward.

"You said 'was'.. Do you mean he's-" Satan began but you cut him off.

"Yes. My dad is dead. He succumbed to cancer five years ago." you sighed and Satan saw tears forming in your eyes.

Satan took your hand into his and soothingly massaged your palms, telling you to take deep breaths.

After you had calmed down and fallen asleep in Satan's bed, he decided to find out more about your father.

So what's a better idea than some good old fashioned ✨ necromancy ✨ ?

He literally summoned your father with a purpose. He just wanted to meet the man.

He just watched as your father's spirit emerged from the ground, eyes closed, with a knowing smile on his face.

"Hello. You're MC's father, I presume?" Satan greeted the man, eyeing him with curiousity. You had similar smiles.

The man opened his eyes with a calm demeanor, "Yes, you got the right person. Why have you summoned me?" he asked Satan.

"I just wanted to meet my father-in-law. I got curious after hearing MC talk about you." Satan admitted, his keen eyes studying the man in front of him, noticing every similar trait you might have in common.

"We were always close, yes. My passing was hard on them," the man nodded with a solemn expression, "How has my baby been?"

Satan tells about what you've been up to; getting chosen for the exchange programs and all of your fun adventures, albeit leaving out the parts where you got almost killed like.. Ten different times.

Your father listened with a content smile on his lips, not interrupting Satan even once.

"Satan.." your father spoke up after Satan had finished talking, "I think you should write their story down. Write everything down exactly like it happened so that when it's MC's time.. You still have something left of them. You'll always have a piece of them by that." he smiled gently.

Satan froze, deep in thought; he knew human lives were not as long as demon lives and he would most likely outlive you, but he hadn't wanted to think about it all that much. Thinking of your passing was way too painful for him.

But the man's words were correct, too. There was one thing scarier than losing you and that was to forget about you; your face, your voice, your name, your story. And if anyone should write your story down, it should be him, right?

Maybe that book could even be used as some sort of grimoire to summon your soul if all other ways to keep you with them would fail..

"Do you have anything you'd like to say to MC? I can write it down." Satan requested and after a brief silence, the man nodded. Satan took out some paper and a pen.

"MC, I'm very proud of how far you've come. You've found your own way in the world even when I haven't been by your side physically. You'll always be my baby, and I'm forever thankful for the day you entered the world. Your dad loves you. Always." the man spoke with sincerity, his eyes slightly tearing up.

Satan wrote every single word down diligently, wondering what it felt like to have such a good relationship with your father.

He felt kinda envious of you in a way. Obviously he felt bad that you had lost someone so close to you but the jealousy stemmed from his strained relationship with Lucifer.

However, he still sealed the paper in an envelope and vowed to give it to you when the time was right.

After that Satan let your father go, stopping the communication. Necromancy is not something he had done often so he felt strained and tired.

He hid the letter in a safe keeping before clambering into his bed, pulling your sleeping body close, cuddling against you, taking in your scent with a peaceful smile.

Asmodeus had decided to take you on a grand, romantic date, pampering you and being as touchy with you as he possibly could in a public place.

Honestly, the date was going perfectly in Asmodeus' mind. He felt so good and solid in his position that he failed to notice that you seemed to be a bit... Off.

You had to bring it up yourself, "Asmo.. Can I confide in you for a second?" you mumbled, your voice slightly wobbly.

"Of course, doll! What is it?" Asmodeus questioned, realizing the tone in your voice to be serious. He wanted to wipe that frown off of your face and see you smile again.

"Today is a.. Difficult day for me.." you trailed off, deep in your thoughts. Asmodeus wrapped an arm around your shoulder, holding you close.

"How come?" Asmodeus inquired with a low voice.

"Today, two years ago.. My partner passed away." you finally told him and Asmodeus could just feel his heart sinking. So many pieces started to click in his head; why you kept your distance to Asmodeus when you first arrived to Devildom, why you were hesitant to date him at first, why have you been slow to give him physical intimacy.. It all made sense now.

"I'm so sorry, love.." Asmodeus sighed and planted a kiss on top of your head, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"They.. were beaten up so bad in a fight.. That they went into a coma and never woke up.. They just slipped away.." you explained as tears start to stream down your face. Asmodeus just held your hand over the table, leaning in to wipe away your tears, but they just kept coming, "I'm sorry.. I need to go use the bathroom.." you excused yourself, not wanting to embarrass you or him further.

Not long after you left, someone approached Asmodeus' table, sitting down without even asking for a permission.

"Sorry, this table is taken. I'm just waiting for my darling to come back from the bathroom!" Asmodeus quickly exclaimed but the person just kept staring at him with a serious expression, silent.

"Did you hear me? You can't keep sitting there.." Asmodeus sighed, not used to being ignored like that.

"You love MC, right?" the person asked suddenly, leaving Asmo speechless, "You're not just playing with their heart, right?"

"Of course I love MC! They're the most wonderful being I've laid my eyes on, besides me of corse~" Asmo hummed, quickly pulling himself together.

"I know guys like you.." the person groaned, closing their eyes in annoyance, "you're a playboy I've ever seen one."

"Moi? A playboy? Well, maybe I was in the past, but I really do love MC!" Asmo pouted, crossing his arms.

"That's what they all say," the person shook their head, opening hus eyes and staring down Asmodeus, "look, if you ever hurt my MC or break their heart, I'll haunt you till the verge of insanity." they spoke coldly.

Asmodeus thought back on their words, "Okay, I've got like, three questions. First, how are they YOUR MC? They're mine. Second off, how do you know MC? Are you a stalker or something? Third.. Haunt? Are you telling me you're a ghost or something?" Asmodeus questioned, a bit taken aback.

"Listen, pretty boy-" the person started but Asmo cut them short.

"You think I'm pretty? Well of course you do! Who wouldn't?" Asmo winked, causing the ghost to roll their eyes.

"I loved MC first, got it? Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I stopped loving them. I'll always love them. But.. They deserve to move on. They deserve to be loved by others.. So that's why I'm letting you have them, even if I'm questioning their choice in men.." the spirit spoke, finally dropping that threatening act.

"Oh.. Oh? Oh!" realization dawned on Asmodeus' face, "You were MC's lover, the one they told me about!" Asmodeus exclaimed, many emotions running through him at the moment.

"They still talk about me, huh?" your ex-lover chuckled sadly.

Asmodeus almost told him that you had brought them up just now for the first time, but bit his tongue, keeping the secret safe with him. Even if you hadn't told him before didn't mean you never thought about them, right?

"Today's the anniversary of your death, right? Is that why you're here?" Asmodeus deflected the question with a question of his own.

"Yeah, today's the day, alright," they sighed bitterly, "And technically, yes? I don't want to get in the way too much.. Dead should stay dead.. But I still like to take a look at how they're doing on important days like these.. Our anniversaries, their birthday, my birthday, my death day.." they explained.

"Hm, sounds like reasonable times to pay a visit to your lover~" Asmodeus mused carefreely, "Are you here to give them a little gift, hm?" he questioned with a smile.

"Actually..." the person shuffeled around before taking something out of his pocket, "I do.." they showed it off to Asmodeus; it was a music box. Your dead lover opened it and it played a music that sounded slightly familiar to Asmodeus.. And instead of a ballerina, there was a couple holding hands spinning around together.

Asmodeus looked at the gift, judging it silently, "That's.. Cute? I guess? But wouldn't it be better to buy them something more.. Extravagant?" he asked, confused.

Your lover shook their head, "No. This is more sentimental.. I bought a music box similar to this to MC on our six months anniversary. It actually plays a song that played when we first met, too." they explained with a soft smile on their face, sweet longing and pining in their eyes that Asmodeus had seen many times before..

"Oh.." Asmodeus nodded, realizing how sentimental this gift might be to you.

"I'm sorry if I seemed a bit hostile before," the ghost sighed, "At first I wanted to hate you. You got to love MC when it should have still been me.. But now that I think about it more.. I'm just glad they have been able to love and be loved again in return, that they've been able to take that step to fall in love and move on. I just want them to be happy, you know?"

Asmodeus just nodded, eyes glued onto the music box, "Me too. I sometimes fear my sin gets in between us but.. I would do anything for my gorgeous MC." he looked back up at the ghost sitting in front of him, grinning charmingly.

"Can you give this present to MC? You don't have to say a word about me, I just.. Want them to have this. Would you do that for me?" they asked with pleading eyes, handing Asmodeus the music box.

Asmodeus took the frail box into his hands, inspecting it closely yet delicately, "Yes." he simply replied, placing the music box carefully into his coat pocket.

"Thank you.." He heard a voice say as he did so.

When he looked up again, your deceased lover was gone and he saw you returning from the bathroom with a smile on your face, seemingly much more chipper than earlier.

Asmodeus stood up, pecked your cheek affectionately and lead you back to your seat, holding you by your waistline.

Seeing you smile again, he didn't want to give the music box to you quite yet. It'd likely cause you to weep again. But in his mind he swore he'd give it to you once you two go back home.

You were visiting in the human world, just having fun and visiting the places you used to love as a child.

You told Beelzebub so many fun stories of your childhood, all the adventures and trips you had.

You even opened up about some difficult things, feeling like it was safe to do so with him.

Beelzebub loved to hear all the stories you had told him, whether fun or sad. He loved his family and he loved hearing you talk about your family too.

You were at an amusement park that you used to love as a child, just having a good time when you needed to go use the restroom.

Beelzebub went to the food court, buying himself tons of fast food and candy while waiting for you, saving some of your favorites for you.

He was just spacing off when he suddenly felt something small tug the fabric of his pants.

He looked down and saw a small girl, no older than 6, clutching onto his pants and looking up at him with her big eyes.

The girl looked a lot like he had imagined you to look like as a kid.. She had the same eye color.. The same hair color.. What a fun coincidence.

Beelzebub smiled down at the girl, trying to appear more approacable than usually, "Well hello there, little girl. Do you need my help?" he asked the girl.

The girl shook her head, pouting, "Up!" she requested, stretching her arms towards Beelzebub.

Beel looked around to see if he could spot the little girl's parents in the crowd looking for her but didn't see anyone. Then he just shrugged and lifted the girl up, seating her on his knee.

The girl kept her eyes on Beelzebub, her expression stern, "So you're the man my sibling loves?"

Beelzebub nearly choked on his coke, "Your sibling? Who is your sibling?" he asked, confused. He swore he had never seen this girl before.

"How many people have you gotten under your spell, you demon?" the girl shrieked, horrified, "My sibling's name is MC! Don't you forget that!"

Beelzebub's confusion turned into realization as he smiled widely, hearing from your sister that you loved him felt nice, "Oh! I'm sorry, I just didn't know MC had a little sister." he apologized sincerely.

"Twin!" the girl exclaimed proudly, "They are my twin sibling. Just like you have a twin brother. Samesies!" she giggled, her mood suddenly getting better.

"But you're so little and MC is.. Well, older and taller than that at least.." Beelzebub's confusion was back, stronger than ever.

"Yeah! That's because I couldn't stay for long before I was needed elsewhere and a big hand picked me up. MC stayed with ma and pa, because ma and pa needed them more." the girl explained with an innocent smile.

"Who took you? Where?" Beelzebub asked with furrowen brows. Was this girl kidnapped?

"Angels! They knew my body was growing weak and tired so they carried me to a place where I didn't have to feel pain and sadness anymore." she exclaimed with a wide smile.

"You went to Celestial Realm? What are you doing here then?" Beelzebub continued to bombard the little girl with his questions.

"I came to see how my twin is doing! You if anyone should know how deep the bond of a twin can go." the little girl hummed.

"Do you get to visit the human world often?" Beel just made small talk with the girl, waiting for MC's return.

"Not really," the girl sighed, "I wish I could come more often, especially now that MC's no longer home. I know it's all hard on ma and pa.."

"I'm sure your mom and dad would be happy to know their little girl is an angel." Beelzebub smiled and ruffled the little girl's hair affectionately. The girl's face brightened right up.

"Look! You should win this for MC!" she suddenly exclaimed and started to pull Beelzebub towards one of those carnival games, "Our pa won us a unicorn just like this a loooong time ago! I loooooove unicorns!" she giggled while pointing at a huge unicorn plushie. Beel glanced and the girl's smiling face and knew he couldn't say no to that.

Luckily for Beel, the game was one of those high strikers, so he had an adventage thanks to his physique and demonic strength.

He broke the high striker.. Oh well, he still got the huge unicorn plushie.

"Yaaay! Unicorn!" the girl screamed while hugging the plushie that was bigger than her. She buried her face into its white fur. She really did look like an angel.

Beelzebub just looked at the little girl, smiling. He kinda wondered what it would be like to have a daughter of his own..

Before long, the girl handed the unicorn plushie back to Beel with a smile, "I can't take this to where I'm going. I think you should give it to MC. I'm sure they're going to love that."

Beelzebub took the unicorn plushie with a blank expression, "Are you sure? You seemed to really love this thou-" he couldn't even finish his sentence when he heard a voice behind him calling for him.

"Beel! There you are! I was looking for you!" You yelled as you ran up to Beel before your eyes focused onto the plushie he was holding.

"This unicorn...!" you gasped, holding yours hands out for it, "It reminds me of the one my dad once won for me when I was a little child.."

Beelzebub handed you the unicorn plushie, "Yeah, your twin sister said I should win it for you." he chuckled.

Your face turned into one of sorrow, "My twin sister?" you questioned, staring straight at the unicorn you were holding.

"Yeah, she's right here, look-" Beelzebub turned around to point at the little girl, but she had vanished, "...Where did she walk off to?" he mumbled with a concerned tone.

"Beel, my twin.. She's gone. She died from heart disease when she was six." you explained with a depressed tone, hugging the unicorn close to your body, "She loved unicorns. She always wanted mother to read her about them. And when she was at the hospital.. She always carried that unicorn plushie of hers everywhere.." you smiled sadly against the unicorn plushie, a familiar, comforting smell lingering.

"...Oh.." Beelzebub finally realized and shuffled his feet awkwardly. For a moment everything was silent, but not before long you felt Beelzebub's strong arms enveloping you into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, MC.. I can't imagine life without Belphie, so hearing that you've lost your twin.. It makes my heart break. Losing Lilith was hard enough.. But a life without Belphie would be even darker and gloomier.." Beelzebub sighed as he held you close to his body, "You're so strong, MC. Just the fact that you are smiling after losing your twin is just amazing.."

Belphegor was asleep. Not very surprising, seeing that he's the avatar of sloth and basically slept over half the day away on a daily basis.

Belphegor was used to all kinds of dreams; good dreams, daydreams, nightmares, lucid dreams.. Most of his dreams were lucid anyway as he had a good control over himself and his environment in his dreams.

But this dream he was having right now felt a bit.. Different.

It felt so realistic; like he had been transported to another place and he was actually awake.

Belphegor found himself in a living room of some house; he saw the lace curtains, the floral print sofa cushions, the tea plates along the walls.. The air smelled sweet.

It all felt so real..

Then Belphegor spotted it; an old woman sitting on an armchair, sipping some tea with a peaceful look on her face.

The woman seemed inviting and somehow... Familiar.

Then the old woman opened her eyes, smiling up at Belphegor, "Come on in, I have been waiting for your arrival, young man." she spoke, her voice unwavering.

Belphegor felt conflicted; he still didn't particularly love humans, but something about this felt important.

So with apprehensive steps, Belphegor walked closer and sat down on a sofa. There was a bowl of candy on the table and an assortment of cookies and biscuits were lined up on a small silver tray that had already lost its gleam.

"Why did you call for me?" Belphegor questioned with raised eyebrows, "Who are you?"

The woman took another sip of her tea, "I am MC's grandmother. I just wanted to meet my grandchild's friend, that's all."

That word, friend, stung a bit. Are you two just friends and how would this old woman know about any of that?

"So you're MC's grandmother, huh?" Belphie thought out loud, taking a long look at the woman. She did bear some resemblance to MC, "How did you manage to make it into my dreams? That's no simple task for a human with no magical qualities."

"It might be difficult for any living being, but the story is much different for the deceased, dear." the grandmother laughed dryly, taking a cookie and taking a bite out of it.

"You're dead?" Belphie questioned with a surprised tone and the old lady just nodded, "How did you die?" he continued.

"Oh, my years just caught up to me and I was ready to cross the stream. Might not be familiar to your kind, but we humans know when it's our time to go." a small smile was tugging at her lips when she spoke.

'My kind, huh?' Belphegor thought to himself, 'she must know that I am a demon.. I was expecting a lot colder reaction from MC's family if they knew who their child was seeing..'

"So.. You're okay with me being.. What I am?" Belphegor asked before he could stop himself, "After all that I did?" He could feel guilt starting to eat him up inside again, thinking all the sins he had commited towards you.

The old lady's smile faltered for a second. She took a deep breath before speaking up, "I've always told my darling MC that she can be what they are around me and that they can love whoever they love. I don't see any fault in loving someone. I'm just glad they're being loved and looked after by someone.. And what comes to you.. Well, you've made many mistakes and crossed many lines. If I was living and heard about what you've done, I'd probably tell MC to run as fast as they can, but.. We dead don't get to make those choices anymore. And the more I've thought about it.. The more I've realized that your actions sprung from a place of pain and agony. It doesn't excuse your actions, but sheds some light to what went through your head. I may never fully understand, but I accept that it happened, that my grandchild forgave you and that you mean so much to them."

Belphegor could feel a strange sensation in his throat as he listened to the old woman speak. And for a moment, he felt like a little child again, running around in the dark, stumbling, hanging onto everything he could get a hold of and searching for a way out in a panic.

He just wanted to lay down in a fetal position while hugging a comfrot blanket, sucking his thumb until he fell asleep and slept away this pain in his chest.

"What did I do to deserve forgiveness?" Belphegor asked, his face blank. He couldn't understand.

"Nothing. Forgiveness doesn't usually come with a condition. That's why only some people are capable of such an act of selflessness." the grandmother smiled before offering candy to Belphegor. He took the candy with a small nod of his head. It almost felt like he was actually tasting it.. How he wished he could've brought some to Beelzebub.

"I told you earlier that I just wanted to see my grandchild's friend, but that was a lie.. There's something I wish you to do if that is not too much to ask for?" she suddenly said and Belphegor turned his expectant eyes to her.

"What is it?" Belphegor asked, not quite sure if he was capable enough to fulfill the old woman's wishes.

"They have a tendency to burden themselves with everyone else's problems.. They're just selfless and caring like that. Will you please look after them? Just make sure they're not overdoing it. I know they're big now, but.. They're still my baby, even if I'm not around." MC's grandmother smiled sadly, her eyes glued to her mostly empty tea cup.

"Of couse. I'll always take care of them. Even if it just means forcing them to take a nap or helping them with their homework, I'll always do it if it's for them." Belphegor swore, hand on his heart.

"We seem to have an understading. Thank you," the old lady's smile brightened up immediately before her eyes softened and her voice grew more quiet, "Belphegor, I think it's your time to wake up."

"Do I have to leave? Will you ever visit me again?" Belphegor questioned as he could feel his head growing heavier and the world around him dimming.

"Yes. You have a responsibility to fulfill, yes?" the woman laughed, "You know where to find me, son." she spoke as the world fell dark.

When Belphegor opened his eyes again, he found a pile of rather familiar candies next to his pillow.. He made a mental note to share those with both Beelzebub and MC.

A/N: I'm someone who has lost a lot of loved ones; I've been to over twenty funerals; so writing these was both hard and catharctic.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me headcanons #obey me brothers #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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trashyswitch · 3 years ago

Text

The Best Treatment for Failures

Little Gru is frustrated and sad because his cheese ray isn't working how it should. So Dave, Kevin, Otto, Bob and the big crowd of minions take it upon themselves to cheer up their mini boss.

Just watched Minions: Rise of Gru yesterday. There's a slight bit of spoilers in this fanfic, but barely any. I was very inspired and wrote this fanfic at 1:30am last night. So, I hope you enjoy it!

Also no...I did not wear my tuxedo to the theater. I wish I could've though. I totally would've if I was brave enough to pull it off.

Gru reached the driveway of his house with Kevin, Otto, Dave and Bob. He hopped off and moped into the house. He was feeling bummed out and angry. His cheese ray wasn't working the way it was supposed to. It kept squirting the cheese with no force, causing the cheese to only run down instead of shoot out like a bullet. It was annoying, and Gru was tired of it. He’d been trying to fix it for hours, but cleaning up the mess after every attempt was becoming a pain. He just didn’t know what he was doing wrong.

He growled as he kicked his door open. “I tried everything! I tried blasters, I tried adding pressure build up, but nothing’s working!” Gru told his minions as he sighed and hung his head.

“Batooay to quer tem hep?” Dave asked, holding out his hands for the gun.

Gru looked at Dave with sad eyes and gave him the gun. Dave started fiddling around with the gun. He turned the gun around to face his own face and clicked the trigger. But like Gru was saying, the cheese didn’t really fly out like a bullet. It just drooled down the gun and onto Dave’s face. Dave laughed and wiped the cheese off his goggles, before licking the cheese off his own hand.

Gru shook his head and sat on his bed. “All this work…for nothing.” Gru said.

Otto looked up at him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Ka’m bido.” Otto said.

Gru looked at Otto with his sad eyes. “Truth is…I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a villain.” Gru admitted.

Otto gasped and stepped closer to Gru. “si to batooay, Yi kai yai yai! to're ta obe, yikai! MINI BOSS!” Otto yelled.

Dave, Kevin and Bob all yelled “MINI BOSS!” back to him.

Gru frowned. “I’m not…Whatever…” Gru muttered. “Maybe I’m better off doing something else…” Gru said next.

Gru grabbed his pillow, hugged it close to his chest, and laid on his side.

“Mini boss?” Otto asked, walking up to Gru. Otto laid himself in front of Gru, and gave him a smile.

“Hm?” Gru replied.

“Ka ern to.” Otto told him.

Gru closed his eyes and shoved his nose and eyes into his pillow more.

Kevin, Dave and Bob hopped onto the bed and laid against Gru. Dave laid against Gru’s head, Kevin laid against Gru’s back, and Bob laid on Gru’s legs.

Gru lifted his head out of the pillow to look at the Minions, before rolling his eyes and going back to shoving his head into the pillow.

While Gru was sulking into the pillow, Bob came up with a great idea. “ka kaylay nan tut!” Bob said, getting up off Gru’s legs. “Kevin! Otto! Dave! Po wat me!” Bob said.

The three other minions looked at Bob before they got up and followed Bob to the end of the bed.

“Shhh bebada.” Bob said, bringing his voice down to a whisper. As he whispered to his other minion buddies, he made hand movements and gestures to explain what he was saying to them.

“Si!” Kevin reacted. “Leelas tut!” Kevin said.

Dave looked at Gru and walked up in front of him. “Mini boss?” Dave called.

Gru lifted his head up out of the pillow. “What.” He responded, putting his mouth into the pillow again.

“Po wat nos.” Dave told Gru, motioning for Gru to follow him.

Gru blinked in confusion, but slowly pulled himself up. “Where are we going?” Gru asked, sitting on the edge of his own bed.

Dave hopped off of the bed and reached his hand out to Gru’s. When Gru grabbed the minion’s hand, Dave gently tugged on his arm. “Po.” Dave said.

“Alright. I’m coming.” Gru said, not really enthusiastic. Gru let Dave drag him off the bed. Then, Dave and Kevin ran up to Gru and grabbed his hands as well. Otto ran to the closet and waved for Gru and the other minions to follow him. He grew a little shocked as he felt the minions pull him. But he went back to his sad mood immediately after. “Where are we-”

“Da ta lair!” Otto declared, grunting as he reached up for the coat hanger. He tried jumping up to reach it a couple times.

Gru smiled slightly as he got his hand out of Kevin and Dave’s grip. “I got it.” He said, grabbing the coat hanger and pulling on it. He felt as the floor below the closet fell, dropping all 5 of them down through the floor. Gru and the minions flew down the slide to the secret lair. Gru was growing a little better just from the slide down and the sight of the lair alone.

“Alright, what is it?” Gru asked Bob.

“Ah!” Bob ran up to the middle of the room. “TOKAS!” Bob yelled.

All the minions in the lair paused their construction.

“Po aca!” Bob called.

The minions all dropped their things and walked their way up to Bob, Dave, Kevin, Otto and Gru. Gru was still holding onto his pillow with one hand, while holding onto Kevin’s hand with the other.

Bob cleared his throat and raised his index finger up. “Mini Boss tis efs. alscon da cheer lom aka!” Bob declared.

“Yee topa nos tu tut, Bob.” Kevin told Bob.

“Tickle!” Bob yelled.

All the minions cheered and blew raspberries.

Gru widened his eyes as he recognized one of the words. “Wait, what did you say?!” He asked, growing worried.

“LABDAD!” Bob yelled, before all four of the minions from before, picked him up and threw him into the crowd.

“aAAAAAH!” Gru shouted as he flew in the air. The whole crowd of minions worked together and caught Gru in their little 3-fingered hands. “NO NO NO NO! LET ME GO! NOT THAT! WHY THAT?!” Gru yelled, struggling to get out of their grip.

The crowd of minions lowered Gru down to the ground and split up into a circle. A few of the minions started doggie piling onto Gru while the big circle of minions chanted the word “tickle fipe” over and over again.

Gru yelped and clenched his teeth as he felt the minions poking and skittering their fingers on his sides and stomach. “G-Get OOOFF!!” Gru yelled. “Th-thisisnotimefor-” He gasped as he felt one of the minions poke his ribs. “NO! AHA! NAHAT THERE!” Gru yelled.

He could feel a wobbly smile growing onto his face. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to stop his laughter from coming out.

Soon, the minions’ chants changed from “Tickle fipe!” to “Laugh! Laugh! Laugh!”.

It didn’t take long for him to grow weak from the tickles. And Gru couldn’t keep it in anymore. He removed his hand from his mouth and threw his head back as fits of laughter finally left his mouth. He knew they just wanted to see him happy and less frustrated. But tickling of all things?

“Ohohokahahay, thahahat’s ehenough!” Gru told them as he pushed the minions off of him. One by one, Gru removed the minions from his chest while he laughed and giggled out of a mix of ticklishness and genuine happiness. With the minions off him, Gru stood up onto his feet and tried to playfully push the minions away. “Guhuhuys, plehehease!” He said.

“Mas tickles!” Kevin yelled out.

“Seriously?! But I thought-” Gru jumped and backed away from Stuart. But the circle of minions were starting to close in on him. Everytime Gru would back up, he would run into even more ticklish minion fingers, which would surprise him and make him laugh. And when he tried to back up again, MORE tickly fingers would get him!

Soon, Gru was surrounded by tickling Minions. “OHOhoho nohohohoho! HAhahahahaha!” Gru squealed as Phil shoved his hands under Gru’s shirt and tickled his sides. “EEEHEHEHE! STAHAHAhahahahap!” Gru begged as he turned around to get out.

But Jerry and Carl had blocked the way and tickled him on his stomach next. “Kitchy koo!” Jerry reacted.

“Ticklish Mini Boss!” Carl declared, saying the only comprehensible sentence Gru could understand.

“Jeheheherry! Cahaharl! Nohohoho!” Gru reacted, finally falling onto his back in growing exhaustion and giddiness. “Ihihit’s tohohohoo muhuhuhuhuch!” Gru told them, holding his hands out to stop them.

The minions cheered as one of the minions was thrown onto Gru. Which minion was that? Well, it was Tom! And as soon as Tom landed on Gru’s stomach, Gru let out a loud “OOF!” sound. “Ow!” Gru reacted.

“PALPBERRY!” Tom declared, before taking a deep breath.

“What’s a-” Gru was completely interrupted by his own squeal of laughter! Tom had just blown a big raspberry on his stomach! And Gru was losing his mind. “OHOHOHOHO NOHOHOHOHO!” He shouted. But the moment he heard Tom take in another breath, he quickly protested. “WAHAHAIT, NAHAHAT AHAGAIN! IHIHI’M BEHEGGING YOHOHOU!” Gru pleaded.

But Tom didn’t blow another raspberry…at least, not yet.

But, Tom did take the time to lift up his shirt first.

“No…OH NO-” Gru covered his face as Tom lifted up his shirt higher.

But Tom stopped…and looked at Gru. The minions were eagerly awaiting Tom’s attack.

But…Tom only stared at him. Just stared at Gru…

Gru was curled up into a loose ball, awaiting the raspberry he was about to get.

But…

It didn’t happen…

Slowly, Gru started to awkwardly giggle. “Whahat-” Gru uncovered his one eye. “Uhuhuhuh…” Gru slowly removed his hands from his face. “Ahahare yohou dohohone?” Gru asked.

Tom smiled. “Nope!” He replied.

Finally, Tom took in a huge breath and let out his raspberry all over Gru’s bare belly.

Gru threw his head back and wheezed loudly. When he took in a big breath again, he laughed and cackled loudly! He was squirming, snorting, flailing his arms everywhere. He couldn’t do anything except take it! And it was super ticklish for him.

“ICH VEELA!” Kevin called to Tom.

“Awwww…” Tom whined, frowning as he let go and walked away from Gru with his head down.

Gru was a mess of giggles and laughter all over the floor. He was kicking his legs, still giggling from the phantom tickles that were leftover.

A couple of the minions walked up to Gru to help him up. But Gru squealed and hugged his knees to his chest as he erupted into even more giggles. “Nohohoho mohohore. Plehehehease.” Gru told them.

“No mas.” Phil said, before gently lifting Gru upright. Phil and Stuart made their leader sit up, and looked over at Kevin, Dave, Bob and Otto. “Blub blub! Muka!” Phil told them.

“Blub blub! Blub blub, blub blub!” Bob repeated as he ran out of the circle of minions and into the bathroom. A couple seconds later, the minion circle broke open to reveal Bob, who had come back with a cup of water. “Blub blub nunu mini boss.” Bob told them.

Bob handed Gru the cup of water, and watched as Gru drank it down quickly. He was super thirsty after his little tickle attack from the minions. “Thank you.” Gru told him, his throat less dry than before.

Gru got up onto his feet and fixed his shirt a little bit. “Alright. I think that’s enough fun for one day.” Gru told them as he fixed his black hair.

“Mini Boss!” Kevin called.

“Yes Kevin?” Gru replied.

Dave came into the minion group opening with the cheese gun. He held up the cheese gun for Gru to look at.

Gru’s smile slowly dropped as he remembered what had happened before all this. Gru looked down and turned away. “No thank you.” He replied, waving him away.

Dave gasped and let out little yelps of protest. He grabbed onto the gun the right way, and pulled the trigger. The cheese’s contents shot right out of the gun, and splashed all over Gru! Gru yelped and froze in place. He was about to get angry and take the gun away from him. “DAVE WHY-”

But then he looked at Dave…and he realized something:

Dave was a few inches away from him when he was shot with the gun!

Does this mean-

Gru turned around with a huge smile on his face. “Shoot me again!” Gru ordered eagerly.

“Unama?” Dave asked.

“Yes, again!” Gru replied, growing excited suddenly.

Dave immediately pulled the trigger and shot the cheese at him, completely covering Gru in orange cheese. Gru licked his lips and wiped the cheese off his eyes happily. He bursted out laughing. “IT WORKS!” He shouted happily.

Gru took the gun from Dave and started shooting things around the lair. He shot the chair, other minions, the phone, and a few other things. Then, he ran around the room, holding the gun up in the air and cheering loudly. He pointed the gun up into the air and shot the cheese up. And thanks to gravity, the cheese fell down and rained all over Gru and the minions! Gru and the minions all bursted out laughing.

“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” The minions started repeating.

Gru just laughed harder. He didn’t understand what they were trying to chant. But he was super amused by the sound of ‘beep’ repeatedly coming out of their mouth.

Gru finally put the gun down and ran up to Dave, giving him a cheesy, gooey hug. “Thank you, Dave. Thank you so much.” Gru told him.

Dave licked some of the cheese off Gru and chuckled in the hug. The rest of the minions cheered and hugged Gru next, covering themselves in cheese too.

“Cheesy Mini Boss!” Dave declared.

The rest of the minions yelled the words “Cheesy Mini Boss” as well. Gru just laughed at this and let the minions hug him. It was going to take a while to get the cheese out of his clothes and hair. But with the minions by his side, anything is possible.

#minions the rise of gru #fluff and hurt/comfort #cute #cheer up tickles #ticklefic #ler!minions #lee!gru

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lokisasylum · 3 years ago

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Honest question: why they chose Jungkook for the OST if it's a BTS webtoon? I was expecting a group song or a song with the 4 vocalists. Everyone got the spotify account thanks a work not connected to BTS, except Jungkook. I hope they give an OST to Jimin too. And I'm bitter because Suga wanted to give his song to Jimin years ago, but the company said no, and now there is a Suga × JK for a webtoon created by the company. Jimin is the only one jobless, he doesn't have a new solo work even if we had 3 ost in 4 months and rap line is working too. I don't like that people keep saying he doesn't want to do nothing because that's not true, Jimin always talks about performing, dancing and singing and he is not lazy. But people now see him like the jobless member.

Touchy subject/s you've brought up Anon, which is why I will try to answer everything I can in a single post and then I will close down Anon Asks because I don't want people to take this as a Green Light to talk shit about other members as it has happened in the past 24 hours with other bloggers.

So hang tight, this is gonna be long.

To answer your first question: "why they chose Jungkook for the OST if it's a BTS webtoon?"

I don't know, but I and I'm sure MANY others expected Bighit/Hybe to come up with a whole OT7 album like they did for BTS World (I mean, come on all members write songs, I'm sure they could've coughed up a few for it). But for some reason they ONLY chose one member (with Yoongi as producer) for a single song that will also be sold in a "limited edition CD". My only guess is that they did that because JK's character is the protagonist *shrug* and it helps to promote the webtoon. Go figure.

But in the end its all gotta do with the Company and the decisions THEY want to make for better or worse (and lately its been for worse in most cases. Hello NFTs~♫?). Which is why I will always have beef with Company stans (which are worse than obsessed solo stans, because these people could be shown video footage of the company doing something on purpose that could damage one or all of the member's images and the company stans will be like "They know what they're doing, its you who doesn't wanna see the rEaLiTy")

No joke, I remember a while ago I wrote a pretty lengthy post starting with a screenshots from a fanmeeting where an Army asked Jimin through a post-it what he wanted to do later on (if he had future projects) and Jimin wrote that he WANTED to do Solo Work in 2018 (the fanmeeting was back in...2016 or so). And so I made a light joke on it like:

- "Oh, what a coincidence that BTS almost disbanded in 2018. Can you imagine if this had come true and all of them had signed with a different label? We could've had all their solo works/mixtapes ect out by now."

And this one company stan (who was also a hardcore shipper) made it her job that day to harass and try to prove me wrong (for HOURS) and how allegedly I didn't care about the group for "wishing for them to disband just so we could have new music" (yes, Karen missed the memo that day). And even while I tried to explain to her that it wasn't about wanting them to disband but rather have more freedom to do what they really want since they all have projects, she STILL insisted that

"Well, they signed contracts didn't they? They gotta suck it up and deal with that."

As for Jimin, of course Jimin is NOT jobless, we KNOW he writes/composes songs even without being given his own studio like the others, we KNOW he gets tons of collab-offers left and right (lately Pink $weat tweeted about wanting a collab with him and we know Khalid has wanted to for years, among other artists and yet for some reason it never happens or the collab is given to someone else). But like I mentioned in the beginning, its all on Bighit/Hybe and the shady things they do.

- Jimin composed the melody for BS&T, didn't get the credits.

- Jimin wrote and composed "Friends", it got chosen for a Marvel movie and he found out about it through a Vlive. In addition its been brought to attention that they tampered with the credits to the song on Spotify by putting JK's name right next to Jimin as composers when we know Jimin is the only member of the group credited in the song as composer/writer. (Even Taehyung referred to it as "Jimin's 'Friends' song that he made")

- Suga as you said wrote and composed "People" with Jimin in mind, but another producer said NO and that Yoongi should do the vocals himself, yet they had no problem with letting him feature RM in "Strange". (There was also that one interview where Tae is talking about his mixtape or wanting to try new styles and Yoongi immediately jumped in and offered to write a "bossa nova" for him. You can very clearly see Jimin in the back looking uncomfortable).

- Taehyung wrote a Christmas Song he wanted to sing with Jimin and AGAIN one of the PDs didn't allow it because the lyrics were "Too intimate for 2 men" and they had him sing Jimin's part with ADORA, so Taehyung never released the song. HOWEVER, during the VMINKOOK vlive after the PTD concerts in LA, it was revealed right in Jimin's face that the company had asked JK and Tae to make a Christmas song together "like the one Tae did the year prior" (and right after VMin had been talking minutes prior about writing/releasing songs together again).

- Also didn't Taehyung promised (and this was all caught on tape by HIM) to help Jimin write/compose "The Next Filter" by August 2021? What happened to that? Did another PD say no again? Hmmmmmmmmmm.

- "Dream Glow" from the BTS World soundtrack was supposed to be Jimin's solo collab with Charli XCX. The lyricist even wrote the parts that Jimin sung ESPECIALLY FOR HIM because he LOVED Jimin's voice and the way he conveyed emotions while singing. But for some reason the company decided to add JK and Jin (instead of giving Jinkook their own song/collab. Like what was the point in that if they were gonna autotune the fuck out of Jin's voice instead of leaving it natural like jikook’s voices?).

- The collab with Lauv for "WHO", notice how neither Jimin or JK were allowed to promote or talk about the song since before and after it came out. And Bighit didn't even tweet about it and Lauv himself has expressed his disappointment through the bird app. Yet it was okay for JK to sing "WHO" during his birthday Vlive and nobody really batted an eyelash or tried to stop him even though he was doing the vlive from his studio at the Hybe building.

- A lot of people don't know this, but when the MOTS:7 album was released in 2020, Jimin's solo "Filter" surpassed the title track (ON) in streams on multiple platforms so the company had it taken down for nearly 24 hours WITHOUT A REASON since this did NOT happen to the other songs and when ON got the necessary streams THEN they put it back up. (This was confirmed by both KArmys and I-Armys who investigated said platforms and the emails and responses they received was that the company requested for the song to be taken down). The song still broke MANY records and continues to do so, but most Armys are "weary" of it for some reason.

- Sung/woon WANTS to collab with Jimin, he said it through a live stream but then mentioned that maybe it will only be possible after Jimin does his military service.

- Ta/emin also mentioned in an interview that after the first collab he did with Jimin the two had even written songs together, but apparently they weren't given the chance to actually go forth with the collab.

I could go on and on about these things FOR DAYS because there is YEARS worth of evidence that the company's always getting in the way when it comes to Jimin, but gives a green light for the others. And this is not me throwing shit at the wind, KArmys have been bringing up these issues since they started years ago. (Even the Korean media called out Hybe for the poor lighting during Butter performances where Jimin is left in the dark during the dance break).

But what's truly sad is that the majority of the fandom, especially Baby Armys have been groomed for so long into believing that the reason Jimin doesn't get the same opportunities as the others is because "he's not good enough", "not talented enough", "he's lazy", "he's not interested". When it is simply NOT true. How many years has Jimin been asking Yoongi to write or compose a song for him only for it to be left hanging in the dark?

They even made it seem like its “Jimin’s fault” that most of their latest albums since FAKE LOVE era have so many high notes which most of the members struggle with at the moment of recording. When they themselves revealed that it is actually Pddog who FORCES them to do those impossible high notes in songs because “he likes how it makes the songs sound better.”

During one of the behind the scenes clips for the BE album, specifically the one where they're all sitting around this livingroom like area. Many of the members say they want to sing/subunit with Jimin but for some odd reason RM keeps intervening... Yoongi says that "its time for them to bring out miniminiz (their subunit)", but right away RM mentions that "they already did Tony Montana". Tae & Jimin said they want to work together and RM again mentions "but you guys did "Friends"", Jimin then mentions wanting a subunit with JK and AGAIN RM brings up "Oh but you guys did that other song (referring to their cover of "We Don't Talk Anymore, pt 2" that came out for one of the past FESTAS). In the end Jimin just smiles and says "Just know that I'm ready to work with any of you." (and that shit HURT to watch)

We really don't know what's going on behind the scenes or who is pulling the strings on what they do, what they say, what's allowed, what isn't, what benefits the company, or if it was part of the bargain for the new contracts they renewed in 2017. And sadly we may never know until maybe years later when BTS finally disbands and one of them speaks up.

That’s the Kpop/Idol world for ya.

#answered asks #jimin #bts #park jimin #jungkook #7 fates chakho #yoongi #suga #V #Tae #jikook #RM #jin #vmin #miniminiz #yoonmin #CHAKHO

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kyojuuros · 4 years ago

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I'm the one who wrote you the anon message regarding my feelings with the manga feeling like a 'rush job' despite being fine with the conclusion. Thanks for your response. I'm going to be brutally honest and say everything after chapter 106 (the War for Paradis arc), IMHO, should've gone differently in certain ways. For starters, it was WAY too long (33 chapters) and could've used more breathing room by splitting it into two and then start with a completely NEW arc that would've been DEVOTED....

to addressing ALL the plot points and possibly leading to a more satisfactory conclusion. Eren's character arc was fine but, IMHO, needed better build up, a long with a better conclusion with more focus on him in the REAL world, his REAL persona, and not the hard-ass act and Path shenanigans. The manga has a dark setting and it's suppose to be sad/tragic/depressing/heart wrenching but I don't like a terrible terms he left with friends, Hange and Levi. I'm sorry but there's really no excuse.

I bolded the part that really stood out to me because I feel exactly the same way. I don’t think making his thoughts and feelings a total mystery while completely turning him into someone who feels totally different from the pre-basement portion of the series was a good move, like, AT ALL. It’d be like if Star Wars was presented in chronological order (and let’s say you don’t know who Darth Vader is when you start) and saw Anakin and Padme get married, and then ~time skip~ to him attacking Padme and Obi-wan and becoming Darth Vader... and only seeing his descent to the dark side just before he sacrifices himself for Luke.

People who’ve followed me for a long time know I used to be a lot more involved in the meta community and I was always theorizing and making long-ass posts about character arcs and relationships and predictions on what I think is going to happen. It was a lot of fun and even if I wasn’t always correct, I was never so far off that it actually made me upset (or if I was, it was warranted and even comical... I used to think the Beast Titan wasn’t a shifter and that there was an underground tunnel that lead outside the walls lol). I think the last extensive meta/prediction I had written was after chapter 112 had published, and once I realized that I apparently had no fundamental understanding of Eren at all anymore I completely stopped trying. It wasn’t fun anymore. I didn’t appreciate that I could no longer understand my favorite character (of all time, at the time).

But then I think back and I’m like, no... I did understand Eren. I understood him just fine before the time skip and that’s why everything after Marley frustrated me to no end because it was like he’d been ripped away from me and replaced with a fraud. I couldn’t even cry about his death because I’d become so emotionally removed from him by that point that it didn’t even matter to me anymore (and this is coming from someone who would cry about him a lot just listening to song lyrics or getting lost in thought or rambling with friends). It continues to frustrate me because I still love him as a character, and I don’t need to defend him (there is nothing defendable) but I wish I could feel confident in at least explaining his actions properly. I don’t mind that he became the antagonist, I just hate that I continue to feel like I can’t understand why.

I think that, had Isayama just told his story chronologically, and kept us privy to Eren’s POV, that we would have understood better. Seeing him descend into the darker side of himself would have made much more sense if we had actually witnessed it in real time. Giving us a random flashback here and there, barely getting his thoughts at all, and having the most underwhelming info dump in the final chapter (that STILL didn’t even clear things up properly, it just added MORE damn questions) was terrible for his character and the overall narrative. A character that used to give me so much hope (and I was in a very dark headspace when I stumbled upon snk) became a character that just made me feel disappointed.

Rambling over Eren aside, I also agree that the final arc should have been chopped up into 2 or more arcs (I generally treat the rumbling as its own arc at this point anyway). We should have gotten more from Historia. Levi should have interacted more with the 104th. We should have been able to see Hange blossom into their own as a confident commander (and not get killed just to make Armin commander for 5 minutes???). Armin and Annie’s feelings toward each other should have been explored more. Eren developing romantic feelings for Mikasa should have been explored more. Mikasa and the entire Azumabito/Hizuru subplot should have actually amounted to... literally anything. Ymir having a connection to Mikasa should have been explored much more (especially with the revelation that this was the most likely cause of the headache’s Mikasa has had since the 2nd chapter). I’m sure there’s plenty of other things I could think about that needed addressing, tbh.

The story feels concluded but incomplete, if that makes sense. The themes were wrapped up and are easy to pinpoint and that’s good and all, but for a story that’s very character driven to not have properly built up/wrapped up certain arcs, relationships and character-centric plot points just makes it feel hollow. So I understand why a lot of people are very frustrated and upset and ready to put the story on the shelf never to be touched again.

I’m trying to give Isayama some grace since he admitted the scope of the story was beyond his ability as an author. I just wish that instead of barreling forward with a narrative that he knew he couldn’t execute properly, he would have reconsidered the trajectory of the plot altogether and written something that he knew he could feel confident in. I can think of many ways the story could have gone post-basement that would have been both more interesting and probably more satisfying, regardless if the ending was dark, bittersweet or happy.

It’s a story I’ll read and watch again, many times, I’m sure. I’m still looking forward to part 2 of the final season. I still want to make content for it. I still want to buy and display merchandise of it. I still love these characters and the world Isayama created. I appreciate and treasure all of the joy SnK has brought me over the years. I just... disagree heavily with his narrative choices in the final arc. I’d like to think that MAPPA will somehow execute it a little better (there are things WIT did that I liked better, though they did I things I also liked less, lol), but I’m not going to get high hopes just to get let down again.

.... It appears I have pent up my frustrations a bit in an effort to maintain a positive presence. LOL

#snk spoilers #a little negativity under the cut sdghksjdghsdh #anon #reply

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odetogyus · 4 years ago

Text

wait

↳pairing/s: idol boyfriend!yugyeom x fem!reader

↳genre: angst (w/ a happy ending lol), idol!au

↳warnings: profanity, mentions of alcohol consumption, trust issues

↳song: wait by maroon 5

✎author's note: idk what I was going through when I wrote this but this was from my 2018 archive and I think this baby needs to see the light of day,, so here it is!

—

"The concert should be done now," you thought to yourself while staring at your phone.

Since your brother's wedding was in 2 days, you didn't have time to fly to Toronto to see your boyfriend and his group perform. You've been on a few tours with them– sometimes working as a stylist for Yugyeom and the whole team. JYP himself even sends you an extra ticket to every single country the boys go to just in case you wanted to come with, but this time however, you had to stay home to help out with your brother's wedding.

It's been almost 3 years since you started dating Yugyeom. What started out as a very unexpected interaction at a dance showcase, later bloomed into something so beautiful. Your relationship wasn't always pretty. In fact, it's true what they say about the first year; it definitely is the hardest.

You've seen them grow, not just as artists but as people, too. You've built such tight relationships with each and every one of them, even the staff members. GOT7 was a family and you were over the moon to be a part of it.

After a few hours of waiting, you decided to take a hot shower before taking a nap. It was a tiring day for you and your family. The wedding was in 2 days and there were a lot of things left to do. You also knew very well that the boys come out exhausted after every show, and so you fought back the slightest feeling of worry in your head and fell into a deep sleep.

–

You woke up to the sound of your phone going off.

BREAKING NEWS

MEMBERS OF THE KPOP GROUP– GOT7, WERE SEEN AT A CLUB IN TORONTO AFTER THEIR CONCERT. MEMBERS MARK TUAN, JACKSON WANG & KIM YUGYEOM WERE SPOTTED HEAVILY INTOXICATED WITH 3 UNKNOWN WOMEN JOINING THEM AT THEIR TABLE. NO OFFICIAL STATEMENTS REGARDING THE INCIDENT HAS BEEN RELEASED BY JYP ENTERTAINMENT.

People you knew and didn't know were tagging you everywhere. Every photograph, every article, they all had their eyes on Yugyeom, and they all had their eyes on you, too.

Your brother's fiancée barged into your room shortly after the news broke out. She was always there for you, and the relationship you shared was a very special one. You trusted her, and you never hid anything from her after the first time she saw you cry.

"Y/N," your almost sister-in-law cooed. You both knew that it was very unlikely of Yugyeom to act that way, but then again, the people surrounding them aren’t always angels. No one really is.

Just then, the name you've been waiting to see finally popped up on your screen, but this time, you weren't sure if you had the guts to answer him.

"Should I answer?" You asked, sounding miserable as ever. Tears escaped your eyes, glistening like broken glass when the sunlight hits the surface.

"You need to hear it from him, Y/N. I'll be in the kitchen, let me know if you need anything."

Accepting the call, you swallowed hard enough and prepared yourself for what could either be the most painful truth you had to hear, or the biggest lie ever you had to believe.

"Y/N.. hey, please let me explain," Yugyeom's voice was incredibly raspy and shaky, and you knew damn well that he was in tears. It's only been a few hours since the incident, so it was safe to say that he was still quite hungover. You knew they were well taken care of, but what happened cannot be rewritten again. What's done is done.

"Go ahead," you answered. Holding back your tears is always the hardest when you know that you have no choice but to endure the pain.

"We had a few drinks, and we had fun. We had so much fun. The boys and I, the staff. Me and Jackson hyung tried the hose thingy, it was so– cool– but, but I'm sorry babe, I'm so sorry–"

"Do you just.. wanna talk when you’re not like.. this, Yugyeom? Because if you're gonna keep doing this, I might as well just hang up and talk to my fucking wall–"

Oh, the theatrics of a brokenhearted beast.

"No.. stop, listen to me, I'm trying to explain!"

"Okay, then do it," you said angrily. The tears from your eyes were flowing down uncontrollably. It was so painful that you couldn't even hear anything else but the sound of his lies breaking you continuously.

"Mark hyung joined us, and we got so drunk, and next thing you know, these random girls sat with us at the table. I don't remember a lot but– I think one even bit my neck– it hurts, and she– I think she sat on my lap but I think I tried to push her off but I passed out. I don't really remember anything else–"

"You know, Gyeom? Sometimes, I wish you knew what it's like to be the one that patiently waits for you to come home, hoping that the worries in your head just disappear. How could you be so irresponsible? Man.. how could you do this to me? To us?"

"Y/N, you know I love you more than anything else but for fuck's sake, will you please believe me? My head hurts so much and you're acting up! Jesus!"

Yugyeom knew not to push your buttons, but in that state of his, he pushed it all, not missing one.

"Well, if that’s the case then I’m sorry. I’m sorry for caring too much, and for being all up in your business all the fucking time. Have fun remembering how you got that stupid hickey of yours, I’m done–"

"No, you are not hanging up on me, Y/N. It was a mistake, okay? God, my head is killing me and I just.. need you to believe me. I drank too much, and I know it’s bad, but I swear to fucking God, I didn’t do anything to hurt you. I would never hurt you. But you need.. to stop being difficult.. you’re making things worse here–"

The tension grew even more. You were both screaming your lungs out at each other, thousands of miles away from the other.

"Really now?" You spat bitterly. That was it for you. The last straw. "Well then, I know my brother invited you to the wedding, but don't bother showing up. I don't want to see you."

Your harsh words must've hurt Yugyeom so much, that his screams of anger just managed to slip out of his already worn out body.

"You're really throwing this all away– huh? Almost 3 years worth of memories? Just because I made a mistake, just because I don't remember everything that happened to me while I was intoxicated? You think I wanted those girls to come close to us? You're so– Y/N, you really think I wanted to hurt you, don't you? So now.. you do this? You're really breaking up with me? On the phone? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Trust, Yugyeom. Trust. You broke the most important thing we built. Do you know how hard it is to do this? To date someone like you? People send me death threats, Yugyeom. Just because I decided to be with you. Do you even know how I feel? Do you know how Mark's girlfriend feels? How Jackson's girlfriend feels? Because I do. We all fucking get it!"

"Okay, trust. But let me ask you Y/N, if things were so difficult, why are you still here? Why date me when you could've left? That's what you wanna do anyway, right? You wanna leave, you wanna be free, right?"

But it’s not freedom if it’s not with you.

The bitter taste of surprise was too much for you. It was never meant to hurt that much, but it did.

"Wanna know why I'm still here, Yugyeom?"

"Why," he spat coldly.

"Because I thought that– loving you, oh god, I thought that that was more than enough to believe that we'd make it. But at this point, maybe we're both just better off alone. Separate ways, Gyeom."

Yugyeom let out a faint laugh. The most painful laugh one could ever laugh. A laugh of defeat.

"You're really doing this, huh? This is what you want? You're really doing this to us–"

"You don't need to show up at the wedding.. I'll just, tell them about us after. We'll meet when we're both ready to talk. Be safe."

"Fuck this, Y/N. Fuck–"

And with that, you hung up.

Your heart was broken once again, not by the same person, but because of the same reason you kept your heart safe and hidden in the first place.

Trust.

Yugyeom was your true love. The man you believed to be was your person. The person you entrusted your fragile self to. The person you needed.

But maybe he doesn't need you.

Putting your phone on silent, you cried yourself to sleep, wishing you'd never wake up.

—

wedding day.

Your eyes were still tired and gloomy, but you were better. You haven't heard from him since the fight and although it hurt you too much to be that person to hang up and end things, you knew better than to mope all day and question your existence.

"You look so beautiful in that dress! I'm so happy you chose that style! It's just perfect," your brother's soon-to-be wife exclaimed. She was the one who held you tight when your heart broke for the wrong guy, and she was also the one who held you when Yugyeom couldn't. It's safe to say she's the sister you never had.

"Thanks, I'm happy to be here. I'm so excited for you and my brother. I don't know what you see in him but I'm thankful you stuck around."

The bride smiled with tears welling up in her eyes. "You stick around for the one you love, Y/N. Even when the storm hits and everything falls apart, wait it out, then love again."

The wedding venue was everything you imagined it to be. A beautiful pathway to the garden, red and white roses everywhere, and photographs of your brother and his soon-to-be wife hung from the stringed lights wrapped around the tall trees to create the most beautiful ambiance.

Your quick peek of the venue ended since it was almost time for the actual ceremony. You were one of the bridesmaids, and you had to be wherever the bride was.

From afar, a tall figure walked towards the venue in a red suit. His dark hair complemented his outfit, and his handsome face was the cherry on top of it all.

Yugyeom showed up to the wedding a few minutes before it actually started. He took his time exchanging words of happiness and support to your brother. Yugyeom's relationship with your brother started out like any other brother – boyfriend relationship, but the two ended up being very close friends. A few moments before announcing the beginning of the ceremony, Yugyeom found his way to his seat. He sat close to the front, but in the corner.

The ceremony began, and every second felt longer than it should have. Closing your eyes, you took slow, but steady, steps to the podium where your brother was. You both agreed to welcome the bride with your whole family present next to him.

dirty looks from your mother

never seen you in a dress that color, no

it's a special occasion

not invited but I'm glad I made it

He looked at you like it's the first time he's ever laid eyes on you. His heart thumped like crazy, seeing how your hair fell perfectly down the length of your spine, in a red dress that exposed most of your back. Yugyeom couldn't resist every urge to kiss you. Every thought of you possibly breaking up with him completely made the poor boy pale. He was madly in love with you, in every possible way, that losing you meant losing everything to him.

The moment you stood next to your brother, your eyes met his. The eyes you hated to look into, but missed the most. Yugyeom stared at you for a long time, before you both snapped out of the trance only you two were in. You saw him mouth a "wow" before facing the bride and giving her a hug.

Walking to your designated seat, your mind went crazy just imagining how hard it would be to keep your composure when Yugyeom would literally be inches away from you.

"Beautiful," Yugyeom said in awe as you sat next to him. "You're beautiful, Y/N."

Without looking at him, you extended your gratitude. "Thank you, Yugyeom," was all you could say.

You both tried so hard to focus on the wedding. For the most part, it felt like no one else was there. You were in the moment, and so was he.

The exchange of vows was definitely something. Every word your brother and his wife exchanged was pure love. And deep down, you prayed that the love you needed was Yugyeom's.

oh, let me apologize

i'll make up, make up, make up, make up for all those times

your love, I don't wanna lose

i'm begging, begging, begging, begging, I'm begging you

As if on cue, Yugyeom held your hand without looking at you. His hand was shaky, and so was yours, but you didn't pull away. You held onto him, too. You held onto him like your life depended on it, and you held onto the person that longs for you the most.

"I do," your brother speaks into the microphone, looking at his woman. Yugyeom holds your hand even tighter, saying the same words your brother said, loud enough for you to hear it. Only you.

I do.

The bride reciprocates, and tears immediately stream down your face as the rush of emotions take over you.

Not wanting to lose the love of your life ever again, you follow suit, and said the same words the bride said. Only for you and Yugyeom, it meant something else. Only something the two of you could understand.

I do.

You both stood firmly, not letting go of each other, when the officiator finally said the words everyone wanted to hear.

You may now kiss the bride.

Not wasting a precious second, Yugyeom pulled you into a tight embrace, holding your head against his chest. His lips planted kisses at the top of your head, and suddenly everything was right in the world.

The scent of his perfume was home to you, and it made you feel so much better.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry," Yugyeom whispered, still keeping you in his arms.

"I'm sorry, too, Gyeom," you answered, trying hard not to let the tears roll down your cheek and ruin your makeup.

Yugyeom finally kissed you.

He kissed you without stealing the spotlight from the newly weds. He kissed you softly, but it was clear that he longed for it. For you. He kissed you just the way you needed to be kissed, reminding you that he is yours in full surrender.

"I love you, Gyeom."

You finally meet his gaze. The prettiest eyes you've ever seen, and he really was the best thing that's ever happened to you.

"I love you, Y/N. I love you."

Wait it out, then love again.

152 notes · View notes

reynie-muldoons · 4 years ago

Text

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

#mbs disney+#mbs liveblog #the dance of the celestial orb #the mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

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buddha-in-disguise · 5 years ago

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Discourse, Supergirl and fans.

The Supergirl situation with William Dey, is far more than about William Dey per se.

I touched on this when I first posted about David Harewood.

What I have seen, and I am still seeing is while some SuperCorp fans were annoyed about the preview for episode 12, this was also coming from a diverse section of the fandom. That David (and others) have singled out the SuperCorp fandom is both unfair, and unhelpful. But that is a different discussion altogether.

So - I am going to repeat and expand on some of what I wrote at the time to try and explain why I, (and others) have found Supergirl to be really problematic at the moment.

First of all: There is no doubt Supergirl currently has a diverse cast, inc. LGBTQ representation.

However, all the diversity in the world means absolutely nothing if a program is seemingly only playing lip service to the characters.

Compare and contrast with Legends of tomorrow. They have 6 women. 2 Muslim superheroes (a TV first). 5 characters are LGBTQ, including Charlie; who is recognised as gender fluid. 4 people of colour. The lead is a woman, who is bisexual, in a canon relationship with a lesbian, and is a superhero.

They do this without it being made a big deal of, enjoyed by LGBTQ and heterosexual audience alike. But it is a huge deal for many because of that diversity, and just as importantly they haven't overloaded the cast numbers, so they all get good solid storylines through a season. A season that is also shorter than Supergirl.

Legends are an example of how you can put in a diverse minority cast, without it becoming forced or cumbersome. It isn't without fault sure, but no program is.

So where is Supergirl going wrong at the moment?

Let's use William, as the crux of the problems are best shown with his character, but it isn't limited to him. I will put first - this is absolutely *not* a criticism towards Staz Nair, who I respect (& like, as far as one can from limited SM interaction). All too often the accusations are made that if you don't like a character, you hate the actor. That is categorically not true for me, nor others I've seen posting about this. Of course if anyone does hate on the actor, that is not okay.

So, back to William. I get the reason he came along in regards to Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made sense. What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer, at least until now.

First instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in the earlier episodes, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex.

Why? Why do they need that journalistic pairing, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him. Plus Nia was being mentored by Kara. Is she no longer being mentored by Kara? Are they a team? Even if the mentoring has ended, Nia is still not being utilised as a journalist.

I am utterly baffled as to why they feel this arc makes any sense. Moreso when an already established character gets sidelined.

I'm also getting tired of seeing anyone who sees these valid opinions about current storyline as being trolls (or the comments all SuperCorp fans are just outright haters. No - SuperCorp fans are a large diverse group, that have incredible artists, fanfic writers, and social media users. Many also multi-ship. To place a blanket statement about a whole fandom as large as SC, is hateful. All fandoms have some who are problematic, but to single out an entire group is not right).

So back to my thoughts. An episode can have some great aspects to it, but it can also be highly problematic to some fans, & receive valid criticism or valid opinions for it. For example, the latest episode of Batwoman. The Alice/Beth story was great. The acting superb. What I found worrying was the way they made Sophie feel guilty for legitimate reasons why she had led a closeted lifestyle. That lifestyle is valid, for Sophie and many LGBTQ people, and for good reason, including keeping some people safe from harm. I felt it was a clumsy attempt for Alice to get into Sophie's mind; it could've been tackled other ways, so it felt wrong they used her sexuality as a way to achieve that. Being closeted for many literally keeps them alive. So that was one hell of a poor choice in my opinion. Yet others have made perfectly credible counter arguments that it showed the difficulties faced by many LGBTQ people. So, great episode, valid criticism/opinion from both points of view. It also highlights you can have excellent episodes, but they can have legitimate issues.

Nor does differences of opinion, as long as it is respectful, makes those voicing them a bully, no matter how much you disagree.

At the end of this, if you don’t agree, and your opinion makes you say something that is intentionally hurtful (directly or indirectly to a person or group of people), it's a bad thing. The key word being intentionally. We all make mistakes, and responses that could've been better, & we all need to be aware of that, but if it is an intended attack, don't be surprised if others call you out for your behaviour.

So now what in regards Supergirl?

I know ultimately that this show is about Supergirl, but it is also about those around her as family & friends. I understand there are only so many minutes in one episode. What I don't understand is why those precious minutes are going to a character, when they have one perfectly placed to do the same role. Why they have to potentially explore another relationship, when we have one canon relationship, one canon on/off again relationship & one relationship that while isn't canon in terms of romantic, it is a big story in terms of best friends, all seemingly sidelined. Which brings me to the Kara fighting for Lena's soul aspect. Again, I am not seeing a lot of fighting for anything, except more and more fans fighting themselves and cast.

Then you just need to look at the dislikes that teaser was given on YouTube, and compare them to previous ones. I've attached screenshots to show this.

A serious misjudgment was made by someone on how that teaser would be received, and again I will stress, this dislike hasn't just been from one area of fandom, but multiple areas. For many it wasn't just about William, but the culmination of unease that has built for a few episodes. A prime example of the straw that broke the camel's back. If you are solely focused on one area of fandom for this discourse (as many blame SuperCorp fans), you need to step back and recognise you are not allowing yourself to see the whole picture. To focus solely on one thing, rather than acknowledging the wider audience are saying this, does not make you the better fan. To dismiss it as trolls, is being dismissive of good, regular fans with legitimate questions or concerns. It is insulting to many of us.

I will be honest, I had high hopes for this season. I also knew it was likely going to be pretty confusing at times since it was given as 'our Black mirror season' and 'nothing is as it seems.' I accepted that.

However, all it seems at the moment is a jumbled mess from pre and post Crisis. They just doesn't appear to be any cohesion at all, which is making it really difficult as a viewer. Add in the changes post Crisis and it feels even more of a mess.

Of course, they could bring in more cohesive elements soon, but considering that we know episode 13 is 'It's a wonderful life,' and Alex Danvers in a later episode is wearing a Super suit - I just sense this whole 'nothing is as it seems' side we appear to be getting isn't changing any time soon, & with episodes running out, with so many strings running through at the moment, it feels really discombomulated. If by seasons end, they pull it off and you can look back and see how it's played out as a whole, I will be the first to say well done for that part.

I do though think right now Supergirl feels chaotic beyond expectation, and no end in sight. I feel there have been too many character additions this season (particularly Andrea & William) that is taking screen time away from Kara, Alex, Nia, Lena, Kelly et al.

It feels like a mess of unnecessary pairings and the crux of the story seems to have been lost in the midst.

That is causing confusion for fans, that is also beginning to become frustration. That frustration is spilling over. Add in the genuine and extremely legitimate concerns over the LGBTQ issues that have arisen (again from far more than just SuperCorp fans), and the frustration has built even more.

I can only hope the next couple of episodes address some of this and not complicate the mess further.

Whatever happens, Supergirl is not doing well in terms of a storyline that is gripping for fans, that is now top heavy with regulars, taking screen time from established characters, and a social media blunder that has so far only exacerbated the simmering uncertainty being felt by many.

It might improve, and I sincerely hope it does, but they are edging into the potential for the anger felt by fans to become an all out riot if they don't stop and see where valid criticism is being given. If this season continues on in this vein, then there is going to be huge swathes of fans drifting away. The concerns are legitimate. I wish it could be seen as that.

#supergirl #lgbtq #supercorp #gay #dansen #alex danvers #kelly olsen #nia nal #nicole maines #chyler leigh #azie tesfai

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charnellecatastrophe · 6 years ago

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Getting custody of my siblings was my decision. No one suggested it. It's what I wanted to do since age 13. If I could have then I would've asked my grandparents right then. It was my understanding you have to wait till 21. So around when 21 going on 22, I went for it. I called the courts and asked what do I need to do. They said whomever has current custody will have to appear in court. That was my grandma at the time. I asked her to let me have joint custody. I showed her my plan of how much more I could do for my siblings and help her with. She agreed. So I paid my fees, filled out tons of papers and pleaded my case before the judge. He liked me. I cringed when my lawyer had to mention my lack of achievements (things I should BEEN done by the time as I was 21) but she also mentioned my care and strong want to be a legal guardian. She showed me the papers where she went and asked the kids do they even want me to be there guardian? She explained through my to them what that meant and what it means I could do. I still like to read those papers sometimes to see the nice things they said.

I cannot remember exactly all the judge said. But when he said, "Well, young lady no one else has come forth on their behalf. Joint custody is granted to you." I smiled and he smiled back.

That was a good day. I felt a little more grown up. I only wish I were more ready. I also hadn't thought it would scare people to think grandmomma was declining in health. I felt bad when a friend asked was my grandma ok on a post I wrote about going to court. Grandma was still well then.

I hate that anyone thinks I was just trying to get over on my own family and be in control of their money. I keep receipts. I can hand over the accounts for each of them. You will see that their money is spent on them. Hah, and some of mine too. Literally anyone else could have called the court and asked for custody! The judge made sure to mention that! Any other half sibling they have could've gotten custody. No one asked grandma or the court. They have it on file that I am the only one besides their dad and our grandparents that paid fees and filed papers to get the custody. Some people told my grandma she should've gotten sole custody from jump. Grandma had a special heart. While under the circumstances she and grandpa surely could've gotten sole custody. But why do that when they had a father trying to step up? I love my grandparents for that. Even more. :)

I thank God. Had I not gotten custody things would have been MUCH harder when our grandmomma died. Its still tough. I cry so much wishing everyone was still here. Life is hard at any age when your parents are gone. But this happened to us while we were kids.

I hope one day to really be the big sister I'm supposed to be. I think back often to when my mommy called me the second mom. I am like a mom. It is not easy! I respected my momma. In my heart I really did see her as a wonder woman. I thought she was amazing. She was. I feel like she would've wanted me to do what I did in caring for them. I often ask myself "what would momma do??" Oh how I wish we were a team right now. I love them so much and don't want to keep failing. Its so hard to when you're doing all of this on your own. Single mothers have my utmost respect, y'all are some warriors! Omg!

Its my hope that by the time all my sibs are in their 20s, with me for a bit lol, they can say I did good. I made mistakes, I got on their nerves, they didn't want to be 'parented' by big sis, but I hope they come to be glad and proud. I love my family. Even when they hurt my feelings and think untrue things about me lmao. I know I be trippin' too. I also know people think I'm way in over my head. Maybe so. But they got me, I got them and tbh, we're making it. It's only going to get better and better. We're blessed!

Well this got long. I really just needed to vent. Thanks for reading if you did, heh. I love YOU.

#rant #personal rant #sorry for the rant #long reads #long post #writing #writeblr #love #family #i will always love my family

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tamiddyinyourcity · 5 years ago

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7:29am.

Real crackhead shit... AHH!

Monday, February 24th of 2020.

Monday is my Friday, so I'm about to get active as fuck for today. 💕

What's the haps, yall:

I'm still mad about the beautifully detailed post I wrote on here that never got posted.... @staff this is why your app is fucking dead

I had some angsty days over my most recent relationship. I'm deciding to be 100% self-centered, as an act of self care, since its not like nigga cared about my feelings anyway. So its not like I'm gonna be the most politically correct person by saying "He really could've prevented so much shit". Plus, I'm honestly not in the mood to beat myself up over things. Other people can do that for me. So I still maintain the right to be as narcissistic as I choose, if it helps me cope, and does not hurt anybody.

Had to block a mutual I've known for a few years for disagreeing with me over it. She somehow miscontrued a post that was blatantly "I wish we communicated better, I wish things never got violent, and I especially wish he trusted me, lying just made the whole situation into what he was afraid would happen", into "I'm blaming him for getting hit".... Bitch, its MY hand. He did choose the literal worst way to go about things, (no one reasonable would go "i better act as coldly and two faced as possible to avoid getting slapped," but, hes stupid and wasnt honest about shit that he felt before so shit happened dude,) BUUUUUUT, that doesn't excuse violence. I'm not out here doing the nae nae over the fact that I was becoming the very aggressive and hostile person that I definitely never wanted to be. No one's doing the splits over abusing an ex post breakup. I was extreeeeemely offended, aaaaaaand bitch got blocked. Then she got mad about being blocked..... shes so dramatic.

All I can say that if you don't wanna get attacked by a rhino, don't throw rocks at it. (Note: I am not a rhino, I am a human being that can also handle the way I react to situations.... I can't change the past, but I can aim to do better. So, I will, promise.) I still uphold the belief that if you're feeling intimidated or anxious, then voicing your problems or thoughts goes a lot better.... I just wish he was honest, man. If he told me straight up any of the many things he didn't tell me that night, just to tell me on the phone before, I would have understood and compromised. Or wanted to make them comfortable. It's a shame that things didn't go as easily as we'd hoped. I said several times that all I wanted was honesty, and that I wanted to just ask him questions as if it was gonna be our last time seeing eachother, to finalize things, and not result in me repeatedly contacting him over "what if" questions I had that never get answered.... And I explained in depth how it would have done more good for me and him, just to say whats gotta be said and leave out. He didn't listen..... And frankly, a girl who cuts you off due to your inconsistency emotionally, repeatedly leading her on, and lack of care for her feelings, and putting no effort towards any resolutions, will HATE, when you go "Oh I only said I wanted to kiss you that night, to be a fuckboy. I have no romantic interest in you, and didn't see any hope for us. At all. Whatsoever. And no, I refuse to answer any questions you have"....... When he literally agreed for me to uber all the way to his house, for the sole purpose of actually having a deep talk with me. I'm not proud of my actions, but I see why I did them. No one else needs to, since it's my experience. And if nigga even so much as gave talking a chance, instead of hiding his feelings and fears..... The night could've gone so differently. Or at least, its what i would've hoped.

I feel slightly not so great about cutting off Nevaeh, but its not like we were best friends. She has her own life to focus on. And, i have some toxic shit to allow to blow over before I consider myself to be healthy again.

Not sure how I feel about my ex. Not thinking about it is better. Instead of thinking, "God, he fucked me over", all I can do is go, "I know better, and I can at least say I gave things a chance." He was so keen on ending things, even if it meant lying his ass off. I hate him for it. God..... Anyway, I'll miss elements, but I'll certainly not miss the way he saw so little in me. I don't appreciate men hiding their feelings from me, nor making simple shit extremely difficult. Fuck that. Move on.

As I got off work last night, Adrian messaged me to hang out. Considering that I have a diva cup up my pussy and was happy to know that I could get a ride home without a dude feeling entitled to sex, (i dont play that shit,) i agreed. It was nice, honestly. It's a little sad, realizing how difficult I've been taking in the things around me lately. All it took was maybe a three hour long hangout where I showed the dude my city lake, ate skittles in his car, and talked about random shit to make me realize.... "Wow, I really am emotionally starved."

Getting out of a 3 to 5 month long relationship where I was fishing for breadcrumbs definitely had me fucked UP. I still am.... Not great, when a dude goes from liking you a lot to seeing you as a pocket pussy, and unworthy of bare minimum intimacy he was happily dishing out before...... But, Adrian was chill to talk to. Idle talk, Skittles, and just joking around a bit or talking about how things have been within the year we had last seen eachother.

It's kinda odd, knowing that a year from today or whatever, this same dude had a nose ring, longer hair, a Golf Wang stan, and pretty much gave me obnoxiously amazing sex, (i saw God from the type of dick he had given me,) before inexplicably dumping me off like a week old Hot Pocket. And I think he did cocaine? I wouldn't be surprised. College students.... be like that.

And a year ago, I was like, desperate for his attention and hung onto my phone, just, waiting till I got a text back. Like a simp!

But fast forward to last night, where I checked my texts, and saw a day old message from him at 1am, and frankly went, "What the fuck does this nigga want?", with a frown on my face.

Now THAT'S what I call self progress.

The dude who blew my back out and had me dickmatized a year ago is now un-party-obsessed, and seems less prone to do shrooms during a hailstorm for shits and giggles. A lot more mature. Decent acting.

I'm still sus about why he wants to come back????????

Since..... Okay, I was gonna say, "its not like I would hit up a one night stand and ask them to suddenly be my friend again", buuuuut I probably have done that in the past before........... Its a new decade and a new me, my self esteem from pre-Summer 2019 is a part of me that no longer exists. Just fyi.

BUT, I can't fathom why a taken dude would hit up his one night stand to suddenly be besties. Especially after ending on such terrible terms....

How does one go from "Stay the fuck away from me, I have no interest in being around you whatsoever", to "Hey, wanna hang out tonight?", without sex being the main factor?

I don't know. And probably shouldn't even bother thinking about it too much. Niggas are unpredictable, and still predictable. So if he ends up being my new late night car vibing buddy and we just eat Skittles and talk about horror movies coming out, then sure. If he ends up just trying to pull a Slow Burn Hoe on me? Only time will tell if it works.

I kinda left the "hook up with another girl's boyfriend" market ages ago. Ages as in, at the start of last summer.... But, still a long time since then right?????

It's also odd knowing how each time I did inform a girl of their man cheating, they took it out on *me* and stayed with the guy? Oh excuse me, its not like I'M the one messaging your man about wanting to slurp HIS pussy like a wild dog eating a can of baked beans. Check your fucking MAN.

Just to stay with the guy, and I think, "So I really could've just let him do something and she'd keep him? Wow. Its almost like I should've just done it, if there would be no consequences either way past her shading me....."

(Like that time my friend in high school, Audrey, didn't believe me when I mentioned her boyfriend trying to "cyber" with me.... What weirdo tries to do sext roleplay with unprovoked women in high school???? Anyway, she frankly didn't believe me, or bother to see my proof. He then cheated on her constantly. With many many different girls. And oh, look who's all shocked NOW, hearing that her aint shit boyfriend was trying to fuck her younger sister's friend? I don't feel sorry for her now, but I had a little sympathy for her lovewhipped ass back then.....)

All that ever got me was some gossip, and the nihilistic wisdom of, "She won't leave him anyways, so why not just bang him if she'd just not believe you or care either way?"

And the reasons not to do that, are:

STDs. For some, not a game ender. But for me, I prefer not to have that risk, and think I look much cuter without any potential loser with sex addiction or chlamydia trying to risk it all for a quick nut like that.

Karma. I wouldn't want my own boyfriend(s) doing that shit. Sure, one can't stop a cheater from cheating, but if every woman in the world collectively went "I don't fuck taken men, sorry", then there would be less to worry about. Gotta stick to girl code, yknow? And if a dude still wants to cheat, then i guess he and his homies gotta go Greek and Roman then.... Get the olive oil, lather up your bros for your boys night I guess.

At the end of the day, I will still be single. Better to be single with the knowledge that a man liked me, but I didn't give in to them and have them promptly lose interest, in the same way they "lost interest" for their girlfriend. Better to be single and cocky, than single and cocked up, with nothing to show for it.

So with all that said, the night was still just platonic and vibing. Not sure I wanna say more, but just glad to have a good time with friendly company to take my mind off things.

I'll miss Patrick, but things change.

8:22am. Peace out.

#how is she doing #patrick is really cute but the main thing is no sense of appreciation or trust for me in his life #so i guess itll just have to be an adrian situation until he one day goes and returns #old him was better #anyway yeah

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