#i hope you drop that fuck ass speaker you dropped too much money on (instead of buying HEADPHONES) under a moving vehicle once you get off

[memesandmylife]

nothing makes me hate a song/artist like stupid ass motherfuckers who blast the music from their speakers on public transportation

[mypoisonedvine]

Making Ends Meet | dark!Mandalorian x reader

summary: you’re just a simple woman trying to make your way in the universe, with the universe’s oldest profession.  unfortunately for you, a new customer doesn’t plan on going easy on you.

word count: 3.2k

warnings: smut (dub con), kidnapping (?? kinda), prostitution, rough sex, pain kink, lots and lots of degradation, ooc mando being a meanie

please do not read if this content would be triggering or upsetting for you, dark fics aren’t for everyone and it is your responsibility to manage your own content consumption

If you were going to have any hope of making rent this month, you needed to book someone tonight— and not a cheapskate who’d try to stiff you after he’d already stiffed you, no, you needed a big spender, a high roller.  You needed somebody who had extra credits to throw around and wore it on his sleeve.

You needed a guy like the one who had just walked in— with beskar on his sleeve.  That’ll do quite nicely, you thought to yourself as you watched the Mandalorian cross the room to talk to the bartender.  

Seemed like he was here on business, unfortunately, from the way he didn’t even venture a glance at you or any of the other women skulking about; but then again, you couldn’t be entirely sure where he was looking with that big helmet covering his face.  It might not be the easiest sell, but you were determined to get this guy for the night— and, more importantly, his money.

Walking up to the bar with your best sultry saunter, you leaned in beside him and smiled as he turned his head to look at you.  "Hey," you purred.  "Haven't seen you around before.  We don't get a lot of new faces around here… even when they're hidden."

He didn't say anything, which was a little concerning, but his head tilted down a bit as if he was looking at your body, which was a good sign.

“What brings you to Tatooine, hm?  Business…” you trailed off as you ghosted your fingertips over his armor-clad forearm, “or pleasure?”

“Business is my pleasure,” he informed you sternly.

“And pleasure is my business,” you countered with a smirk.  Before you could say anything else, the bartender returned with a sack in his palm that he tossed into the Mandalorian’s hands, something metallic jingling inside.

“For a job well done,” he explained with a crooked, toothy smile, “as promised.”

“Payday, huh?” you noticed, your tongue darting out to wet your lips.  “Never comes often enough, amirite?”

Your quip was met with tense silence as he slipped the bag into a sack at his waist.  He turned to leave, but you reached out for his shoulder and stopped him.  

“Wait,” you requested, desperation starting to taint your tone of voice.  He spun and faced you again, and you tried to keep your body language relaxed and sensual in spite of your stress.  “What are you gonna spend all that on?”

“My ship,” he decided after a quick moment.

“Why not spend it on yourself?  You must be tired after working a long, hard day,” you sighed sympathetically, stepping a little closer.  “Why don’t you stay a bit longer and take a moment to relax?”

It didn’t seem like he knew what to do with that, and you motioned to a wide, cushioned chair nearby.  Amazingly, it worked; he walked to the chair with that swagger of his, the blaster at his hip suddenly so much more obvious with the way it swung with every step.  As soon as he sat down, you put a leg up beside him, straddling him slightly but leaving enough space to (hopefully) have him wanting more.

“You must be getting hot under there,” you smiled, making sure the double entendre was obvious.

“Maybe I am,” he shrugged.

“All this heavy armor... does it get uncomfortable?”

“I’m comfortable,” he denied.

“Good,” you purred before biting down on your lip as you rubbed his chest— or, rather, his chestplate.  “You know, I’ve heard that Mandalorians are even harder underneath the steel.”

He paused a little before he answered.  “Only in a few key places,” he finally replied, his gloved hand reaching to brush over your thigh.  You grinned, knowing you finally had him.

“Why don’t you come to my room and show me?” you suggested.

“I imagine your time isn’t free,” he observed.

“Fifty credits for an hour, or a hundred for the whole night,” you enumerated.

“That’s a little steep,” he noted with a tone of irritation.

“It’s my price,” you shrugged, “take it or leave it.”

“I’ll leave it,” he decided, shoving you back and standing up to leave.

“No, wait,” you blurted out, “eighty for the night.”

“I don’t have all night,” he informed you sternly.  “Twenty for the hour.”

“Twenty?!” you squawked.  “What kind of girl do you take me for?”

He grabbed your wrist tightly, suddenly, and pulled you into him.  “A whore,” he answered with a rough growl, “and apparently not as cheap as you look.”

You swallowed dryly, irritated by his attitude but desperate for the cash you knew he had.  “How often do you come through Mos Eisley?” you asked quietly.

“As rarely as I can manage,” he replied.

“If you pay a hundred now, I’ll be here every time you come in, for as long as you need,” you offered.  “Standing order, permanently.”

It was difficult to negotiate with someone whose face you couldn’t see: you weren’t sure if the silence was him considering it, or just watching you squirm in his grasp for fun.  

“A hundred,” he repeated slowly, “for whatever I want.”

“Whatever you want,” you nodded quickly.

“Whenever I want,” he added.

“Whenever you want.”

He let go of your wrist and you stumbled back, rubbing the sore skin with your other hand.  “Show me to your room,” he requested suddenly.

You led him back behind a few tattered curtains, past the hall and up the stairs to your cramped apartment.  It wasn't much, but the red silk draped everywhere and the incense burning in the corner certainly set the mood for the work you did.  Your door slid shut automatically behind him, and normally this is the part where he’d kiss you or you’d kiss him, but that was sort of impossible in his current state.  With an awkward pause, you waited for him to undress.

“Take off your clothes,” he instructed instead— and it was even more dominant than you expected, but you were happy to oblige as you untied the strip of fabric keeping your flowy tunic together, letting it fall off of your shoulders and onto the floor.  You didn’t have anything else on, just for the sake of simplicity, and he said nothing as he stepped forward until he was just inches away from you.

He quickly disposed of his gloves to touch you with his bare hands; his rough, warm skin over your waist and hips and breasts was a strong contrast to the worn leather, and even moreso to the hard, cold beskar.  His skin was tan, especially considering that it rarely saw the sun, and you let yourself imagine what the rest of him would look like based on that long with the subtle dusting of dark hair that extended from his arms.  Of course, in your mind, he was stunningly gorgeous, because it was more fun for you that way.  The way he spun you around quickly and forced you to bend over the edge of your bed made you realize he wasn’t as interested in your fun, though.

You yelped a little at the unexpected force, and again when he slapped your ass out of nowhere.  

“You’d better make it worth my while, after I paid a hundred credits,” he grunted.

“Of course,” you agreed quickly, looking back to see him slipping to fingers underneath the edge of his helmet.

“Don’t turn around,” he growled.  “Don’t look back.”

“Okay,” you nodded nervously as you whipped your head back to face in front of you, staring diligently at the dark red comforter beneath you, “I— I won’t.”

You heard the rustle of clothing and a sigh of relief— noticeably one not modulated through the helmet speaker.  Unceremoniously, his helmet was tossed down onto the bed beside you, bouncing and rolling a bit before it found purchase on your quilt.

Next must have been his trousers, as you heard his heavily-equipped belt fall to the floor just before the subtle little grunt you’d come to know as the sure sign that a man had freed a throbbing cock from the confines of his trousers.  He roughly kicked your legs apart, grabbing your hips and using them to hold you up as he started to grind his bare cock against your slickened folds.  You could tell by the way his shaft spread your lips that you had no chance of taking him— he was too thick, you couldn't even tell how long he was yet but he was definitely too thick.

He must have realized something similar, because he pushed you forward a bit; you realized he was looking down at your pussy, which made your face burn with embarrassment.

"Get yourself wet for me," he instructed firmly.  

You didn't think you would ever be able to get wet enough to fit him.  "How?" you asked.

"I don't care how, just do it.  You have thirty seconds."

You gasped a bit but shoved your hand between your legs and frantically rubbed your clit— it didn't really feel that good, with the pressure and fear overwhelming your senses instead of pleasure.  And he didn't make it any easier on you by literally counting each second.  You got a bit wetter, sure, and you'd already been turned on from earlier, but it was still not gonna do you much good against the monster he intended on putting inside you at any moment.

"Fifteen," he continued counting, his voice dropping so much deeper all of a sudden.  "Fourteen."

Halfway out of time already and you weren't that much more wet than when you started.  Your mind was racing with thoughts of everything sexy you could manage to conjure— his voice did help, the deep timbre reverberating right up your spine as anxious fear started to blend in with forced arousal.  You tried to focus on the ways that being fucked by a faceless, mysterious stranger was sexy, rather than the ways it was terrifying.

"Ten," he counted, his voice changing as you heard him smile— you weren't sure how you could hear it, but you could.  "There you go, I can see it now."

You whimpered a little, the sound catching in your throat as fingers suddenly teased your entrance, not quite pushing in but threatening to.  As they swirled around your folds, a lewd wet sound filled the air, mixing in with your heavy breathing and his dark chuckle.

"You hear that?" he asked, and you nodded quickly.  "Just a few seconds left, make them count."

Rubbing faster, you felt your hips start to rock of their own volition, similarly to the way your walls were clenching around nothing in search of being filled.  

"Three, two, one," he finished as you felt the thick head of his cock start to push against you.  You dropped your hand, knowing you'd need both to stabilize yourself.  "You want it?" he asked roughly.

"Yes," you answered, your voice coming out weaker than expected.

"Beg for it," he instructed coldly.

"Put your cock in me, please—" was all you could get out before the words stopped in your throat as he suddenly pushed in.  You were barely processing the first inch as he barreled past your resistance to shove the next few in.  It already felt like you would run out of room inside your body before he ran out of cock.

"F-fuck," you hissed, "slow down.  You're too big."  You hoped maybe he'd take pity on you if you phrased it as a compliment.  You were wrong.

"You're a whore," he reminded you, "can't you take it?  It's all you're good for, anyways."

That got you to shut your mouth as he thrust himself completely into you, finding the end of you easily with the head of his cock while your hands clutched the bedsheets for dear life.  You winced but managed to suppress a cry as he started to fuck you, not quite fast yet but so much deeper than your brain could process.  "Ffffuu-uuck," you stammered, the sting starting to fade but the overwhelming pressure never really letting up.

"How's it feel?" he asked, almost sounding like he could moan but holding back.  "Don't lie."

You realized, then, that he didn't want you to fake pleasure like most clients did— he wanted to see your pain, and know he caused it.  He enjoyed hurting you.  You swallowed the lump in your throat and whimpered your honest reply: "Hurts."

"Good."

His balls slapping against your clit only added to the overwhelming sensations you were trying so hard to ignore, pain and pleasure becoming indistinguishable all of a sudden.  You could tell your walls were clamping down on him as pressure built in your gut and threatened to push past the point of no return.  Your moan was so much louder than you expected it to be, broken and guttural and animalistic. 

He pulled your hair roughly, making you yelp.  “That’s right,” he instructed through his teeth, “fuckin’ scream for it.”

“Fuck!” you sobbed loudly.  

He leaned forward and it felt like his body would surround yours, somehow, especially when he reached down to roughly grope one breast and then another.  He never stopped thrusting through it all, even when his head fell exhaustedly between your shoulder blades— it was so odd to be able to feel his forehead and hair on your skin but have no idea what his face looked like at all.

The telltale signs of orgasm were arriving in your body— your thighs quivered, your voice cracked, your walls and clit throbbed with need.  It felt like you could read every detail of his cock inside your silky wet heat, like the ridge of his leaking head was rubbing up against your swollen g-spot with every thrust.  You felt as if being so full of him had forced you to vacate your mind, too, to accommodate his size— as if that were possible.  

Either he sensed your peak approaching as well, or he just had convenient timing.  "Wanna feel you come around it," he grunted.  "Can you come for me?  Or are you completely useless?"

“‘M close,” you warned him as your answer, shame sending a shiver up your spine even though you felt guilty for it.

“Then come,” he ordered, “right fuckin’ now.”

It was odd how that actually did push you over the edge, his brutal thrusts and degrading words creating a perfect storm inside you as the friction became too much to bear.  You sobbed as it wracked through you, arching your back absent-mindedly, clenching your legs together as best you could with his legs in between them.  He didn’t stop fucking you through it, which meant that the sensation built to the point of ‘too much’ extremely quickly as your attempts at begging for mercy were lost to breathless moans.  Overwhelmed, your body collapsed onto the bed limply, your hips only staying up because he held them up, like your weight was nothing to him at all.

"Yeah, just like that,” he taunted, “fuckin' come on my cock, fuck— you're just a dumb slut, huh?  You love getting fucked like the desperate, needy fucktoy you are, is that it?"

"Y-yes," you whined weakly, cheeks burning at the feeling of him using your body— or maybe it was from the head rush caused by the afterglow of your orgasm. 

"You like it when it hurts,” he posited.  “You want me to hurt you."

"Yes— don't stop, please…" you whimpered, quiet but definitely loud enough for him to hear.

“Not gonna stop,” he promised, “‘til you’re full of my come.”

“Fuck,” you groaned, voice sounding hoarse and thin.  It had been a while since you lost your voice because of a session… and since you had walked funny for a few days afterwards.  This one was definitely going to do both.

As his hips started to slam harder and faster into yours, you really hoped it was a sign that he was close; his raspy groans made you sure of it, though.  You could feel his cock swelling and flexing, incredibly, and it made you a little light-headed but it made your overstimulated walls throb around him as well.

With one deep, exhausted growl from the man behind you, a warmth began to spread through you from the inside out.  When he released his grip on your hips, you fell onto the bed with a sigh and a thud.  A hand appeared in your peripheral vision to snatch the helmet off of your bed, and it only took him a few moments to stuff his softening cock back into his trousers and magically be dressed again.  Funny how he looked exactly the same as he had half an hour ago, meanwhile you were confident you looked totally fucked-out and fucked-up.

“You’re a good fuck,” he offered a monotone compliment as he pulled on his gloves, staring down at you as you slipped your robe back on and tried to ignore the warm sticky feeling between your legs.

“You’re… intense,” you replied, chuckling a little.  “Guess I’ll see you around, then.”

He didn’t respond, or leave, but just stood there looking at you for a minute as you stood up and adjusted yourself, trying not to limp noticeably because you figured he didn’t need any more ego.  “‘Whenever I want’ only applies when I’m on this planet,” he observed suddenly, interrupting the silence, “which I try not to be.”

“You can come around as often as you like,” you explained.  You froze when he appeared behind you, reaching his arms out and caging you in against the wall the second you'd turned to face him.

“But wouldn’t it be so much more cost-effective if you were with me all the time?  On my ship?”

You whimpered a little as he leaned in closer, and you felt his gaze on you through the dark visor of his helmet even though you couldn’t see it.  “That… that wasn’t the deal,” you whispered nervously.

“The deal’s changed,” he growled, ignoring your yelps of pain as he manhandled you and pinned you to the wall by your neck before you could even try to fight back.  “Whatever I want, whenever I want,” he growled, “that’s what you said.  I’ll hold you to that.”

The leather gloves creaked softly as he tightened his grip on the sides of your neck, forcing your lips to fall into a useless gasp for air.  Your hands reached out to claw at his chest, a silent plea for release, but he wasn’t having it.  

“Whatever you want,” you barely managed to croak out as your vision started to go dark.  “Please, Mando…”

“Whenever I want?”

“Whenever, please,” you cried, tears stinging your eyes.  He let go, finally, and you crumpled at his feet.  Somehow, you’d managed to sell yourself into slavery— for a measly hundred credits.  This whole thing had begun with you needing to make rent, and it ended with you realizing you wouldn’t return to your apartment again at all.  

He didn't need to shackle or bind you to make you follow him to his ship; his power over you was nauseatingly effortless, but you weren't about to try to run from an unhinged warrior like him.  

You'd always wanted to leave Tatooine and explore the galaxy… this wasn't exactly how you'd imagined doing it, as a Mandalorian's whore, but there were worse fates.  Like being a Mandalorian's target.  And you planned on doing whatever he wanted you to if it meant avoiding that.

[enthusiasticharry]

The Secrets You Keep

summary: you're a stripper, and you meet Harry off shift. what happens when he finds out?

request: hiiii would you be able to do something like stripper y/n? not where they meet at the club or anything but something natural like at a cafe or something but she keeps it from him bc she thinks he’ll leave her? then he has a guys night at the strip club and sees her perform? but he loves it and she’s a bit embarrassed? idk but that kinda vibe if ur up for it! X

word count: 8.3k words of fluff, smut and angst if you squint (and i really mean squint) also not proofread, sorry! 

masterlist    |    asks

It never occurred to you that once you left full time education you’d end up becoming a stripper. It wasn’t the occupation you had envisioned for yourself, but it was the one that paid the best money and even though it shouldn’t be — money was the thing that you needed the most. You lived in a small, one bedroom flat that you shared with your Grandma who had no income and little pension meaning that you was the only source of income for the two of you. Obviously it was hard upon you, but your Grandma had done so much for you when you were younger that you wanted to help her as much as you possibly could. Granted, finding a job as an eighteen year old that was enough to help pay the bills and for the treatment your Grandmother needed wasn’t the easiest, and that was how you stumbled across the club and the jobs there. Your Grandma didn’t know how you received your income, and you planned to keep it that way for as long as you physically could. 

“Have you got any private dances today?” Jocelyn, also known as Sapphire amongst the people in the club, asked as she started fixing her makeup in the mirror next to yours. 

“I don’t know.” You sighed, spraying a small amount of hairspray upon your curls, “I haven’t spoken to Elliot yet.” 

“Apparently some big shot businessmen are coming in tomorrow.” Ruby adds from the other side of you, applying a lipstick that matched her name to her lips. 

“Ugh.” Sapphire groaned, “That means old men with small dicks wanking to us instead of being with their probably very lovely, loving wives at home.” 

“They lust after the taboo.” You add, applying a small amount of lipgloss to your lips, “They want what they can’t have, and brag when they get it.” 

“They have money though.” Ruby shrugged, “Haven’t had many tips this week. I’d probably do anything for a couple hundred quid tomorrow.” 

“Not anything Ruby.” You turn to look at her, shaking your head at the younger girl, “Stand your ground. Don’t let them take advantage of you.” 

“I won’t.” She smiled, “I learnt from the best.” 

“And don’t you forget it.” 

As a fresh eighteen year old, just as Ruby was now, you could’ve only hoped for someone to help you and guide you through the trails and tribulations you endured at the club. That’s why you sort of took the younger girl under your wing and helped her as much as possible. 

It wasn’t a lot. Granted, with what they did the majority of it was on their own upon the stage or in a private dance but you wanted to make sure she had small tips to help her handle herself in any situation that could occur and that she someone to talk to if she ever needed it. 

“Are you working tomorrow, Emerald?” Emerald was your stage name. 

“No.” You sigh happily, “It’s my day off.” 

“Enjoy yourself, you deserve it.” Ruby smiled. 

You certainly did. 

The next morning, after helping your Grandma get ready and to the hospital, you make your way towards the small café you usually went to during your Grandmother’s chemo sessions. They usually lasted around three hours, and whilst you offered to stay with her, she usually forced you to leave and spend some time on your own, claiming she didn’t want you to see her at her worst.

The spring days had just started to warm up, so you dressed yourself in a summer dress you had picked up for cheap at a charity shop. You carried your tote bag with your book in over your shoulder as you pushed past the people on the street.

It wasn’t usually this busy, and looking around you saw no free tables but a few free chairs dotted around. Your favourite table, tucked away in the far right corner by the window had been taken by a man sat reading, just as you would’ve been. You toy back and forth with the idea of going to sit over there as you walk over to the counter. 

You order your usual, a peach iced tea, and wait for the kind barista to make it. Your free days, usually, landed sporadically. They normally occurred when your grandmother either had chemo or a hospital appointment and that’s only because she can sometimes be really ill after them and needed you to look after her. Even though Elliot was not a good person by any means, he understood your situation and did help as little as he could. 

“Excuse me.” The man looked up from this book at you, “Is this seat taken?” 

“Uh. . .” 

“It’s fine if it’s not!” Your quick to add, “There’s just no other seats.” 

“No.” Your smile falters, “No! I mean that the seats not taken. It’s yours.” 

“Thank you.” You drop your tote bag down on the floor, holding your hand out to the man, “I’m YN.” 

“Harry.” He shakes your outstretched hand. 

There was something oddly familiar about him, but you couldn’t quite place your finger on why. He dressed quite casually, a punny t-shirt that said something about health on it and you didn’t want to seem too weird and bend down to look at what he had on his bottom half but you suspected it was something just as interesting. 

You take your book out of your bag and place it on the table in front of you, flicking through the pages until you found the page you had left off at. 

As a child you loved to read. Your grandmother always read you a bedtime story before bed and it lead to English being your best subject at school. Whether it be the creative writing aspect, or the analytic — you were just good at it. It was your highest grade at GCSE, an A, and your highest grade at A Level, a B.

You didn’t exchange any more words with Harry the entire time you were there. Periodically you looked up at him, and somewhere deep down you hoped that he did the same for you but you couldn’t be too sure. The book that he was reading seemed interesting enough, something about watermelon, you had noticed. You had a slight suspicion that it wasn’t about watermelon but you could never be too sure you supposed. 

A whine almost escaped your lips when you realised that you had to go pick up your Grandmother and your book had just gotten interesting. That was the problem when you read, you could sit and do it for hours and not even look up. It was something so interesting to you that you could immerse yourself in a world different to the one you lived in and slip out of reality for however long and return back to normal as though nothing had happened. 

“Thank you for letting me sit here.” You smile as you pack your bag up, “Goodbye.” 

“Bye.” 

You left feeling sort of fuzzy inside. You hadn’t spoken to the man at all really, but he was kind and certainly handsome with his tousled brown hair and gentle smile. That was probably going to be the last time that you saw him, and you probably should’ve asked for his number at least but you didn’t and that was why you walked away with him laying heavy upon your mind.

The next day, you wanted nothing more than to leave in the middle of your shift and curl up on the sofa. Instead, you were stood in a private room in the back of the club swirling your hips for a man sat upon a chair in the middle. 

“You’re fucking fit.” He moans, and you almost throw up in your mouth. 

“Thank you.” 

You move yourself so you’re hovered over his lap, twisting your hips to beat of the sultry song spilling out of the speakers. If you didn’t need the money, or have a bills to pay you certainly wouldn’t be doing this. 

“Fucking sort.” That’s when his hand drops down upon your behind, squeezing the flesh harshly. 

You stand up, flipping around so that you’re looking at him, “Hands off.” 

“Babe.” He throws his head back, “C’mon I’ve paid bags for this dance.” 

“And you pay for a dance, and the rules state no touching.” 

He holds his hands up in surrender, “I’m sorry. Won’t happen again, babe.” 

“Better not.” 

It does, and that’s when you get up and leave. He still has to pay, which is a plus but it just isn’t the best feeling. The job you do isn’t one that people necessarily respect you for, but there are rules in place to help with that. You and the other dancers within the club were human beings and deserved the rights that any other person has. 

“You okay?” Ruby presses her hand to your shoulder as you powder your under-eyes, “I heard he was touching.” 

“Yeah.” You smile at her through the mirror, “Started behind and they he just full on groped me.” 

“Men are pigs.” 

“I second that statement.” You laugh, “But you know what they’ll say.” 

“That we teased and antagonised them to do it.”

Throwing her a deadpan look, you nod. It was something that you had dealt with for the past six years of your life and even though you did hate it and wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you up every time it happened — you had gotten used to it. 

“Did you have a nice day off yesterday?” 

“I did thank you.” You smile, “Read a bit. Spent some time with my Grandma.” 

“Sounds lovely.” Her face then twists into one that you can’t quite pinpoint, “You didn’t miss much here.” 

“The businessmen not up too much?” 

“No they paid well.” She nodded, “We just had to watch them wank their micropenises at us.” 

You curl your nose up at the thought, “That sounds pleasant.” 

“Totally.” She snorts. 

“Emerald. Ruby.” Elliot sticks his head into the room, “Get your asses back out there.” 

Ruby rolls her eyes and you laugh. Your job certainly wasn’t your favourite but some of the people around you made it more pleasant.

Two weeks later you find yourself sat in the corner of the café down the road from the hospital, your book open in front of you and a peppermint tea sat upon the table in a pot. Your Grandmother’s second round of chemo was slowly coming to the end of its stint and even though you wanted nothing more than for her to be back to the epitome of health, you would miss spending time at this small café. 

“Hi.” You lift your head up to see Harry stood there, slightly breathless, “Is this seat taken?” 

“It’s yours.” You smile, watching him drop his book on the table.

This time you could see his entire outfit. A white t-shirt with some writing on that you missed, a floral shirt over the top paired with red corduroy flares. You were right the last time that you met him —he did have an amazing sense of style. You, however, bought whatever was the cheapest or on sale that seemed acceptable to wear in public. 

“How have you been?” 

“I’ve been okay.” You smile, “You?” 

“Good, thanks.” He scratches the base of his neck, “I haven’t seen you in a while.” 

“Oh.” You have to stop yourself from smiling too much, “I only come when my Grandma has an appointment and they’re usually two weeks apart.” 

“Ah.” He nods before his face curls, “I’m sorry if that seemed creepy.” 

“It didn’t.” You can’t help the butterflies that erupt within your stomach, “I just thought I wouldn’t see you again.” 

“Couldn’t let that happen.” Heat rises up your neck as he beams.

“No complaints about that from me.” 

“That’s good.” He rests his hand upon his chest, letting out a deep breath, “Thought I was punching a little over my weight.” 

“You’re not.” You cheeks hurt from smiling, “It’s cute.” 

He looks down at his book. He seemed so shy, as though he had a confidence to talk to people but once they complimented him or something to do with him it completely changed. It was intriguing. He was already nicer to you than most people you’ve met of the opposite sex in your life and you’re let to learn anything about him apart from the fact that he reads Bukowski and likes black coffee — it certainly wasn’t much to go on. 

“How long do we have until you have to go back to your Grandma?” 

“Not long.” You sigh sadly, “I’m sorry.” 

“No, I understand, it’s okay.” He flashes you a small smile, “Can I walk you back to the hospital?” 

You ponder his offer for a second, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

You walk back to the hospital brushing arms with one of the nicest people you’d ever met, and you couldn’t be happier. 

“Has your Grandma been having treatment for long?” 

“It’s her second round.” You explained, “They originally removed the tumour and it went away but it came back. They caught it quickly and she’s back in bay 11 for three hours every two weeks.” 

“I’m sorry.” He sighs, “That must’ve been tough.” 

You shrug, “She’s a fighter, I know she is.” 

“I don’t doubt she is.” He smiles, “She’s got an amazing granddaughter to stay alive for.” 

The walk to the hospital isn’t long enough in your opinion. You speak about a few things, and you learn he does music and that’s when you put two and two together and realise that he’s actually Harry Styles from One Direction. Harry wished he could’ve recorded your reaction when you realised. 

Harry had never met someone like you, and he had met a lot of people in his life. You were sweet, and kind and so gentle but also confident and held yourself in such a strong way that he couldn’t help but want to know you, the real you. 

“This is it.” You stop in front of the entrance closest to the chemo ward, “Thank you for walking me.” 

“It’s no problem.” He smiles, “I hope this doesn’t sound too weird, but can I get your number?” 

“Uh. . . yeah.” 

“Great.” He beams, “At least now I won’t have to hope you show up at the café.” 

You swear you felt your heart burst. 

During your shift a couple of weeks later, you don’t notice your phone light up a message. You actually don’t notice at all until you arrived home that night. You had already checked on your Grandma, who was sound asleep in bed, and that’s when you allowed yourself to drop down upon the sofa with a sigh. 

Seeing an unknown number pop up on your screen at first had confused you, but once you had looked further into it, your palms started sweating. 

Hi YN. It’s Harry. I know it’s been a while but I’ve been trying to figure out what to say. I hope you and your Grandma are well. 

Your heart starts to beat faster. The message you had awaited for weeks was here and you had no idea how to act, never mind what too reply back with. The only thing that spiralled around within your mind was that he had been thinking about you. 

In your head, you imagined him pacing around in his large house trying to figure out what to send you, just like they do in the movies. You at least hoped that was what he had been doing over the past couple of weeks. 

Hi Harry! It’s lovely to hear from you, sorry it’s late. I’m okay, Grandma’s getting there. How are you? 

You throw your phone down on the sofa next to you, trying not to giggle like you did as a schoolgirl whenever you were messaging boys. You nearly cried whenever you phone ran out of credit and you’d end up having to run to the store to get a top up in the morning with your spending money and explaining to them what had happened. You were thankful that your upgrade didn’t need that. 

I’m okay. Glad to hear about your Grandma. I know this is probably really weird and totally out of the blue, but are you free this weekend? I’m leaving next week for a little while and I really want to see you before I do. 

In your head, you ignore the end of the message about him leaving and focus on the fact that he wants to see you. Harry Styles wants to see you. You hoped it was a date, everything pointed it to be a date but you didn’t want get too ahead of yourself. 

You haven’t had a boyfriend since your first year of Sixth Form, and the first date you were going on since then was going to be with Harry Styles of all people. 

If you pull some strings, work an extra long shift on Saturday and please some of Elliot’s special clients — you may be able to get Friday night off. It was a maybe, but over the next two days you could make it a yes. You hoped that you could make it a yes. 

You’ve never, in your six years of working at the club, missed any of your shifts for anything other than your Grandma suddenly falling ill, and those were on rare occasions. You certainly deserved this day off.

I’ll have to check with my boss but I think I could do Friday night? If that’s not a problem for you. 

You have to bite your lip to stop yourself from internally freaking out. 

Sounds perfect. How about I pick you up at 8? 

You wince. It wasn’t as though your were embarrassed of where you lived because you weren’t. You’ve worked hard to be able to pay for the flat and everything in it but there was something about showing it to someone who you’ve only just met and had no intention of explaining your situation to wasn’t on the top of your priority list. 

Is there any chance I could meet you somewhere? 

Of course. Where do you fancy eating? Italian? Thai? 

Italian sounds good. 

Great. I’ll send you details over. 

Thank you :) 

See you then, YN. Sweet dreams. 

Night, Harry. 

You slept well that night. 

“I just don’t think I can spare you Friday.” Elliot sighs, “I’m sorry YN.” 

You have to stop yourself from wanting to cry. You don’t use up all your holiday days, and you work way more than you should or that you’re paid for but you don’t complain and you just get on with it. The one time you ask for a shift off, his stubborn ass says that he cant do it. 

“Please, Elliot.” You sign, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “I just need this day off.” 

“And I need my best girl on the floor. Need the best of the best.” 

“There are plenty of other better girls than me working here.” 

He shakes his head, “You’re the favourite, YN. Need you to be there.” 

“Elliot.” You sigh, leaning forward in the uncomfortable seat you were sat in, “I’ve worked for you for six years and I’ve never asked for a day off like this before.” 

“Yeah but—”

“—and! I’ve never asked for a day off apart from going to the hospital and you know that.” 

“I couldn’t exactly say no to you—”

“I’ve worked every shift you’ve ever asked me to, covered for people when you need it.” 

“Stop it!” He holds his hand up to silence you, “Just shut up for a second.” 

You clamp your lips shut. If you didn’t need to stay on his good side to get Friday off you probably would’ve said something about how rude he was being. He’d always been rude, but he paid you and the rest of the girls so you all chose to ignore it. 

He ponders, and you know the cogs are turning within his brain as he scrolls through his laptop, typing a few things. He takes his glasses off his face and drops them dramatically down on the table in front of him. 

“Ruby will cover your shift.” 

You let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you!” 

“Don’t be thanking me too quickly.” He points his finger, “I need a favour from you.” 

“Anything. Well not anything.” 

“In a few weeks times there’s a big birthday party coming in.” He explains, “I need you to be the star of the show, do private dances and all the good things like that.” 

“Just that?” You ask, knowing that it could be a trap knowing Elliot’s track record. 

He nods, “Just that.” 

You look at him sceptically, “What’s the catch?” 

“No catch.” He holds his hands up, “A few big names are coming, that’s all. A list celebs that have asked to use the back exit.”

“That’s it?” 

“That’s it.” 

“Let me know the date and I’ll do it.” 

You stand up, happy that you’ve managed to get your shift tomorrow off and that you can go on the date you have been excited for since you met Harry and was introduced to the world with him in it. 

“Have fun at your thing Friday.” 

“Thank you. . .?” 

You don’t think you like Elliot being nice to you. 

Friday night rolled around quickly and you were thankful for that. After helping your Grandma with her own dinner and into bed, you start getting ready. You curl your hair, brushing it out until its in what looks like effortless waves but are actually quite hard waves to achieve. You do natural makeup, something completely different to makeup you usually wear in one of your shifts. You try to keep all of your features soft, different to how you usually look on a day to day basis. You dress in a long white polka-dotted maxi skirt, paired with a thin long-sleeved jumper that would keep you warm due to the ever changing British weather. 

You had done a little bit of research on the restaurant Harry had sent you the address for and learnt that it wasn’t the most expensive restaurant ever, but one that was way out of your price range. It meant that you had to dip into the fund that you keep for occasions where you need a little extra money or you will use in the future when you eventually move out and busy your own place. 

The tube was crammed, seeing as though it was a Friday night and the majority of people were either coming home from work and stating to go out for end of the week drinks. You knew that the club would start to become heaving as the night grew and a part of you was thankful that you didn’t have to work today, and you were given a small break from the hell that is working at a strip club. 

The restaurant, when you arrived, definitely looked fancier than it had online. The bar stood against the corner wall, the right hand side of the restaurant had booths covering the walls whilst stand alone tables scattered around the rest of the room.

You were surprised when you saw Harry, already sat at the booth in the far right corner. He lifted his hand up in an awkward sort of wave and you couldn’t help but beam at him. He had a shirt, an expensive looking white shirt with a yellow and blue jumper over the top. You hand felt so excited to see someone since when your Grandma went into hospital for her tumour being removed and you couldn’t see her for a few days. 

“YN.” He sighs, “Hi.” 

“Hi.” You smile, slipping into the booth across from him. 

“Was starting to think you wasn’t going to show up.” 

“I’m sorry.” You tuck your hair behind your ear, “I underestimated how bust the tube was going to be.” 

You can tell he wants to pry but instead he says, “It’s okay.” 

His nails were painted yellow, a few of them painted lilac as well. There was something so simple about his nails that you just loved, and if it wasn’t weird you probably would’ve stared at them for way too long for it to be acceptable. You knew he had tattoos, and you could see the cross on his hand and the the anchor peaking out from underneath his shirt and you wanted to see more. 

“I like your nails.” You smile, running your own fingers over your own nails underneath the table. 

“Thanks.” A blush creeps up his neck, “I did them last night. Sort of calmed me down, I was quite nervous.” 

“Nervous for what?” 

“This.” He nods, “I haven’t been as nervous for a date in a long time.” 

“You don’t have to be nervous.” 

In your twenty four years of living, you’ve never had someone say that they were nervous to see you. You’ve been nervous to see and do many things in your life and you hoped that somewhere along the line it would’ve been the same for somebody else and yourself but you had the slight suspicion that wasn’t the case. Hearing those words out loud, coming from someone who you’d never expect it too was special, and you were going to keep that for as long as you physically could. 

“I did.” He looks down at the table briefly, “I’ve never liked a girl as much as I like you before.” 

“You don’t really know me.” 

“I’d like to get to know you.” 

That’s what you do. For the rest of the date you don’t stop talking. Even though you’re starving and could eat your fist, it takes you the longest you’ve ever taken to eat your food because of how much you spend it talking. 

You’re just about to dig in to your desert when your body physically halts, “Why didn’t you want me to pick you up?” 

“I, uh, I—”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t what to! I know I can be pretty invasive sometimes.” 

“No, it’s fine!” You take a sip of your drink to swallow down the dryness within your throat, “I don’t live in the nicest building, or in the nicest area and I guess I was embarrassed.” 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed.” 

“But I was.” You drop your eyes to the plate in front of you, “I know I shouldn’t have been and that it was stupid but I just didn’t want you judge me before you truly knew me because of where I live.” 

“I hope you know now that I wouldn’t have done that.” 

“I do.” 

You let Harry drive you home. Even though you would never admit it to his face just yet, you really liked him. He was kind, sweet and funny and everything you could ever want in your person. You haven’t said this in a long time but you love the person you are around him and you wouldn’t change it for the world if you didn’t have to. 

He stops in the car park outside the building of flats you live in and you can tell he’s thinking deeply about something but you try to not concentrate on that too much. 

“I would invite you up.” You laugh, “But I don’t think the sofa in the middle of my Grandma’s flat whilst she snores in the next room is the most romantic.” 

He scrunches up his nose, “I can’t say that it is.” 

“I’m sorry.” You drop your head to look at your hands that are tested on your knees, “I really wish I could offer you something. Anything.”

“It’s okay, YN.” He uses his finger to move your head up so that you’re looking at him, “I don’t expect anything from you. I hope you know that.” 

“I know.” 

He hesitates for a moment, and you can feel the finger that was rested upon your chin move upwards so that its upon your cheek. You flicker your eyes closed and just mask in the feeling of his touch against your cheek. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asks. 

You eyes open as you nod your head, letting out a shaky breath at the sheer surprise you feel at his words.

“Want your words, darling.” 

“Please kiss me.”  

You close your eyes again and you feel his lips touch yours. It's light at first, but you can’t contain yourself and you end up pushing closer to him, relishing in the feeling of his lips upon yours. Your fingertips grip the collar of his shirt, trying to pull him closer without hurting himself too much on the centre console. Even though you both don’t want to, you pull away as you start to loose breath. 

“You okay?” Your chest heaves up and down as he speaks. 

“Never been better.” You sigh, resting your forehead against his. 

“Good.” 

You kiss again, this time its more passionate and you can’t help but let out a small whine as he pulls away. The smug look on his face after hearing that sound was enough to send your stomach doing flips. 

You really didn’t want to do this, but you had too: “I have to go.” 

“It’s okay.” He smiles, “I understand.” 

“Okay.” You reach for the door handle. 

“I have to go away for a bit.” He sighs, “I’m writing some music over in America but when I get back, do you want to maybe go on another date?” 

“I’d love to.” 

He presses one last kiss to your lips and you leave the car, muttering a small, “Bye.” 

You feel giddy. As though you’re sixteen again and just come back from your first date with your first boyfriend. It was something you hadn’t felt in a long time and in all honesty, you had no idea how to handle those feelings. You certainly wouldn’t admit that you screamed quietly into your pillow in excitement that night. 

You couldn’t wait for him to return home. 

Two weeks. Harry was away for two weeks and even though you had only kissed him once, twice if you actually count how many kisses there were, you missed him more than words could explain. You weren’t one to usually message first, so you did end up waiting until Harry had a spare moment to message you which wasn’t as often as you would’ve liked but you couldn’t complain. 

You almost felt as though you had been drip fed this new life with Harry in, only to have it taken away quicker than you could blink. It wasn’t forever, and that was probably the thing keeping you sane. This had all happened in such a short amount of time but you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

The only thing that limited how far you could take this was your job. 

Harry had obviously been curious and during a text conversation in the first week of his week being away — he asked what you did. After having a small freak out you decided to say that you worked in a bar. It was a small, white lie and you hated yourself for it but telling him that you were a stripper just didn’t feel like the best thing to do at that time. 

You just weren’t ready to tell him, and that was totally okay. 

Speaking of your work, tonight was the night of the big party that Elliot made sure you could come to. The club had held celebrity parties before, so you weren’t entirely nervous but every time someone mentioned it you could feel your heart speeding up slightly. 

“Emerald.” You turn to look at Elliot who’s trudging towards you, a bag in hand, “Here’s your new outfit for tonight.” 

“New? I thought I’d just wear the one for special occasions.” 

“This is a special, special occasion Emerald.” He dropped the bag down in front of you, “Wear this.” 

Taking the material out of the bag, your mouth dropped open at the sight of the emerald green lingerie in your hands. It was delicate lace that you feared you’d rip if you weren’t too careful. Putting it on, your breasts slightly spilled over the lace, and whilst your front was covered, the thong back of the lingerie left your ass on full display. It was beautiful, you couldn’t dismiss that but you just hadn’t ever worn something so skimpy before. You pulled your black silk robe over your shoulders, fastened your black heels onto your feet and made your way towards the side of the stage. 

The skimpiness of the new lingerie did send more butterflies to the pit of your stomach than you were originally hoping for but it was only another hurdle for you to get over which you knew you’d be able to do. 

You heard the music start to play, you slipped your hand through the gap in the curtain and opened it, revealing yourself to the room. 

Here goes nothing, you mumble to yourself. 

Harry’s jaw dropped at the sight of you on the stage. It certainly wasn’t his usual scene, a strip club, but it was a friend of a friends birthday and he had kindly been invited and he wasn’t about to turn it down. He wasn’t in the band anymore, and certainly didn’t have to hide that he went to places like this anymore, even though they weren’t his favourite. 

He couldn’t bare his eyes off of you. The way your body moved to the rhythm of the song, your darkly manicured nails pushed the robe of your shoulders, exposing the delicate lingerie you were wearing. Harry would be lying if he said that his cock didn’t start to stir at the sight. 

You. The girl who he thought spent her days reading, and looking after Grandma had a secret persona that he only wanted to explore more. 

“My word.” One of the men in the group spoke, loudly so that everyone could hear him, “She’s fit as fuck.” 

“To get my hands on her.” 

Harry clenches his jaw, and his fist that rested on the arm of his chair. If he wasn’t in a very public place where people could record him, he’d give that man a piece of his mind. He probably would but he’d do it when nobody was around so the man could truly understand what he was saying to him. 

“Do you think I could get a dance with her?” The birthday boy asked. 

“It’s your birthday.” The dickhead with no morals spoke, “She might give you something special as a present.” 

“The rules say no touching.” The words slip out of Harry’s mouth before he can stop them, “So I highly doubt that.” 

“I’m sure you’d be saying something different if you were in his position, Styles.” 

Harry rolled his eyes and focused his attention back on the stage, watching as you seductively bent down to pick up some of the tips that had been thrown on the bottom of the stage. The song was slowly finishing and Harry couldn’t help but feel a little bit of disappointment bubbling within him.

Harry watched your lean legs as you strutted towards the side of the stage, flicking the long wig on your head over your shoulder, seductively running your tongue over your bottom lip as you pulled the material of the lingerie down from your breasts. 

Harry bit his lip, his leg bounced, he ran his hand up and down his thigh. He tried to do everything in his power to distract himself from the rousing within his trousers but he just couldn’t do it. The flimsy material dropped to the floor, your red painted lips curled up into a smirk and you made your way behind the curtain, not showing any of your truly bare skin. 

If you hadn’t been imprinted on his brain before, you certainly were now.

You could hear the grunts and groans of happiness, and a few cheers whilst on stage but the lights were so bright that you couldn’t see anything past the first row or so. The tips you had received were good, and you were pleased about that. 

You received your robe and bra back from the stage and pulled them back onto your body. Your solo dance was always a hit for Elliot, and you supposed that was why he’s kept you on for so long and if you were honest, they were the easiest to do. Private dances always made you too uncomfortable, and in the six years you’ve worked there there had only been a handful of people that made you feel comfortable when it came to private dances. 

“Emerald.” Elliot walks in smiling and you assume everything is swell on the floor, “They fucking love you.” 

You nod your head, muttering a small and awkward, “Thank you.” 

He hums, “You’ve been requested for a private dance, and he’s promised to pay you accordingly.” 

“Really?” 

Another hum, “Room Two. I think he’s already there.” 

“Thanks.” 

He leaves the room, a bounce in his step. You suppose that this is a good thing and he’ll finally get off your back for the time you took off for the date with Harry. You at least hoped. 

You checked yourself. You made sure your makeup still looked flawless, your breasts sat perfectly within the material and your arse looked good. You brush through the wig once and make your way towards room two, the smaller of the three private dance rooms which helped it be more intimate. 

You smiled at the bouncer at the door, Gerry, a man who looked as though he could kill someone with a single punch but was actually a massive teddy bear. He was good at his job of keeping everyone safe and making sure that the bad eggs that came in left just as quickly. 

Watching the door slowly open, Harry felt his heart stop. He had been pacing up and down the room ever since he had walked in, and only just stopped when he heard the creek of the door. He couldn’t believe that you were in front of him, and you certainly couldn’t believe that he was in front of you either. 

“YN. . .” He sounded breathless. 

“Harry?” He could see your chest rising and falling at a quick pace, “What? How? I thought you were in America.” 

He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, “I got back last night.” 

“Why are you here?” He can hear the lump in your throat as you speak, your eyes glossing over. 

“A Birthday party.” 

“Yours?” 

“No!” He’s quick to interrupt, “A friend of a friend. It’s not mine. Mine’s in February, and I certainly don’t think I’ll be having my party here. Not that there’s anything wrong with here! It’s lovely! You’re lovely! I’m rambling.” 

He was so gosh darn cute and if you weren’t in the middle of a break down, you probably would’ve laughed or at least reacted to his little word vomit. It was probably the quickest you’d ever heard him talk, not that it was hard. 

After a few minutes of contemplating what to say, you sigh, “I’m sorry.” 

His voice is soft, his features falling, “What are you sorry for?” 

“Lying to you.” You drop your gaze to the floor, trying to suppress the tears, “I didn’t want to.” 

“Hey, hey.” He walks over to you, placing his finger underneath your chin just like he had done in the car weeks ago, “No need to get upset, I’m not.” 

“You should be.” You bottom lip quivers, “I lied to you and I had no intention to retract that just yet.” 

“YN.” He rests his palms on your cheeks, “I’m not angry. I’m not upset. I just want to know why.”

“I was scared.” You admit, trying to do anything but look up at him, “I didn’t know what you’d think or if you’d change your mind.” 

“Change my mind about what?” 

“Wanting too, you know. . .?” 

He shakes his head, “I wouldn’t. There’s no reason for me to.” 

“I’m a stripper Harry, it gives you full reason to not want to be associated with me.” You lift your hand to wipe your under-eye. 

“I’m not judging you, YN, I said I wouldn’t.” 

“I wouldn’t be upset if you did.” 

“YN.” His voice is stern, more so than it had been, “I don’t care that you’re a stripper.” 

“You don’t.” 

“No.” He smiles, “I don’t.” 

“Fuck.” You let out a breath of relief, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” 

“I don’t mind.” He shrugs, “If you didn’t want to, you didn’t have to.” 

You had never met someone like him, and no matter how many times he surprised you that was just fact. Granted, you hadn’t had time to date anyone with looking after your Grandma but another reason you didn’t was because of what they would think of you. 

You knew that not everyone would be was understanding and lovely as Harry had been, and that was just because of the lovely person he was inside and out. That was the reason you didn’t tell him, because even though you had an inclination that he was accepting but you didn’t know whether that was just a façade or he was like that in real life. You loved that he was like that in real life. 

“Can I be honest?” You nod, “I enjoyed it.” 

You bite your lip to suppress the smile that threatened to cross your lips, “You did?” 

He hums, beaming a smile at you. 

“If you wouldn’t mind.” The corner of his lips tugs upwards, “I’d still love to get that private dance.”

You roll your eyes and thwack his shoulder playfully, “If you must.” 

“I’ll wait for you.” He nods, “Until your shift is over, if you want.” 

“Please.” 

“I’ll see you then.” 

You hadn’t even made it completely into Harry’s house before his lips were on yours. He pushed you up against his front door before he’d even shut it properly, his lips falling upon yours with a hunger you hadn’t felt since you last kissed him. 

Maybe it was his hands rested upon the small of your back, your fingers threading through the curls at the nape of his neck. 

“Can I offer you a drink?” He smirks against your lips. 

“Not the priority.” You reply, not bringing your lips away from his. 

“Noted.” He places a kiss to your jaw, “Upstairs?” 

“Upstairs.” 

You follow him up the stairs, your hand rested firmly in his. You’re too distracted by the man in front of you to take any notice of the house or where you were going. 

Harry had kept true to his word and waited for you. You secretly wished that you could have recorded the group’s reaction as you walked towards him, a small smile on your face. After bidding them goodbye, the two of you jumped in a taxi that Harry had ordered and made your way to his house, or what you expected to be his house and you weren’t disappointed. 

The second you step into the plushly decorated room, you’re kissing again. His hands slide down to rest upon curve of your ass, his ring-clad fingers immediately squeezing the flesh. You groan lightly into his mouth, allowing his tongue to slip through her parted lips. You grip his bicep as he leads your backwards into the room, your calves hitting the bed as he does so. 

Your lips part, you fall back onto the bed. You look up at him through your eyelashes, your fingertips reaching to pull the shirt he was wearing over his head. You almost swoon there and then at the sight of the tattoos littering his skin. You lean forward and place a kiss on his lower stomach, just before his happy trail that slips into the band of his trousers. 

You bite your lip, grinning up at him. 

“What are you planning?” 

“I don’t know.” You shrug, “What do you want me to be planning?” 

He groans, “Anything at this point.”

You reach forward, taking the button of his trousers in your fingers. You look up, “Is this okay?” 

“More than okay, baby.” 

You unbutton his trousers, wrapping your finger in the waistband and pulling them down. You can already see the tent in his boxers. You wondered how long he had been like this, you wondered if it had been since your dances. 

You blush slightly as you hook your fingers now into the waistband of his boxers, looking up at him. You can’t handle the look on his face, the slight blush but the boyish grin mixed with his curls that had fallen forward upon his forehead. You pull the fabric down, exposing his hard cock. You watch as it hits his stomach briefly, the tip swollen. You lift your hand up, wrapping it around him before giving him a few pumps. His stomach quivers as you do so, a groan escaping him as you wrap your lips around his tip. His eyes flutter closed as you start to bob your head, his fingers reaching forward to grab your hair into a ponytail. 

“Fuck baby.” His hips involuntarily buck forward. You sink further down, going as far as you could. 

Harry couldn’t believe how good he felt. It had been a while since he had been with someone, and it was worth the wait. You pulled away too soon in his opinion, but the sight of you, all teary eyed and sloppy sent his mind spiralling. 

“God.” He bent down and wrapped his arms around your thighs, lifting you up so he could move you further up the bed, “You’re fucking killing me here.” 

“Good.” You giggle. 

He’s quick to remove your shirt, allowing you to pull your jeans down at the same time. He didn’t expect you to still be in the lingerie from earlier, and if it was physically possible, he swore his cock hardened even more. 

“Fuck me.” 

He leans forward, pressing his lips to yours again as his fingers fumble with the latch of your bra. You bite your bottom lip as he wraps his around your nipple, flicking it with his tongue. He uses his hand to knead the other one. You can’t help but grind your hips forwards, a feeling bubbling deep in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“Harry.” You moan, withering under his touch. 

He kisses down from your lips, to your jaw, down your neck until he’s littering them all the way to the band of your underwear. 

“Is this okay?” 

“More than okay.” You whine as he lets out a breath upon the thin material. 

He pulls your underwear down, teasing you by placing kisses across your thighs and pubic bone. He’s so close, yet so far from the place that you need him the most. He licks a stripe across your centre, until he wraps his lips around your clit. You can’t help the moans that escape your parted lips as he nibbles and flicks your sensitive nub, her thighs starting to shake as he coaxes her closer and closer to her orgasm. 

“Don’t stop.” You thread your fingers through his hair, “God! Harry.” 

He pulls away, and you let out a shaky breath as he does so. 

“No fair.” You whine. 

“Life isn’t.” 

“Just shut up and get a condom.” He does as you request, placing a small peck to your lips as he reached over to grab a condom from the drawer beside the bed. 

You watch as he rips the packet open with his teeth, pulling the rubber down his length. He presses another kiss to your lips, catching her eyesight once more.

“Are you sure?” 

“More than okay.” 

He hovers over you, rubbing his tip up and down your wet folds to coax a moan out of your lips. He groans into your shoulder as he pushes in, biting down briefly to suppress the sound. 

“Don’t.” You moan, scratching your nails down his back as he starts to thrust in and out of you, “Let me hear you.” 

“Fuck.” You squeeze him slightly, “Do that again.” 

He speeds up, catching your lips as your hips meeting quicker, the only sound in the room being your skin slapping each others. You slip one of your hands between the two of you, your nimble fingers rubbing your clit. 

“Where have you been all my life?” You can’t help the pleasurable giggle that escapes your lips. 

“Feel so good, H.” 

After a few more thrusts, a couple more circles of her clit and she’s comes around his cock, squeezing him tightly as she did so. 

“Fuck, shit, oh god.” 

He continues to thrust in and out of you, coaxing you through your orgasm and towards his. He seems to go deeper and deeper until he’s spilling inside the condom, his moans louder than any you had heard before. 

“God.” He collapses on top of you, taking a few seconds to collect himself and let you collect yourself, “Haven’t felt like that in a long time.” 

“Glad I could be of some assistance.” You push the hair that had matted to your face off. 

“You should keep secrets from me more often.’ 

“I’m never doing that again.” 

“Good.” He pecks your lips. 

[firstdegreefangirl]

If you are open to Ted Lasso requests, then Roy Kent/Keeley Jones + sickfic and snuggles?

Oh, nonnie, this got WAY out of hand. But I had SO MUCH FUN writing it, so thank you! There's a lot going on at the beginning here, but I swear there are sickfic and snuggles under the break. I hope you like it!

Read the whole thing in one click HERE on ao3!

The morning gets off to a late start, right out of the gate. The team bus leaves late when they lose Nate again (this year they knew to check the luggage hold, but no one thought to look in the upstairs bathroom, where he was “looking for a little extra privacy, sorry”) and there’s more traffic than anyone could have predicted.

Altogether, it means that the team hardly makes it to Sheffield with time to drop their bags at the hotel before they’re due at the stadium for the game.

Roy tosses a duffel bag onto one of the double beds in the room he’s sharing with Ted tonight (not by choice; it turns out relegation means there’s not enough money in the team budget for all four coaches to have separate suites. Last away game, he and Nate had been roommates, but Ted has some big idea about everyone spending equal amounts of time together in the name of ‘equitable morale,’ and apparently coaching staff isn’t exempt.)

Really, he should have taken the job with SkySports.

At least then, he wouldn’t be pulling a furry green unicorn out of his bag and sitting it carefully by the pillows.

“Security object, Roy?” Ted points from across the room as Roy reaches for his phone. “Respect. No shame in a man seeking a little comfort from-”

“Fuck off,” he snaps, but there’s no real heat behind it. “Phoebe’s mad her mum wouldn’t let her come on a sleepover with the team this weekend. Asked me to bring Captain McKibbin along instead, the little idiot. I … promised to send pictures. As proof.”

“Hey, I get it. My boy’s done many a Flat Stanley in his day.” Clearly, Ted expects him to know what this means, so Roy nods if only to save himself the explanation. “Anyway, we’ve got to meet the fellas in the lobby, head over to the field – pitch.” A full year in, and Ted still struggles with the vernacular sometimes. It’d drive Roy nuts, if the guy hadn’t done so much to help him and his career. “Is, ah, will Captain McCarlson be joining us for the-”

“McKibbin. Captain McKibbin, and he will not. Phoebe says he can stay here, to ward off any bad dream monsters.”

“Well you be sure to let her know that I intend to sleep snug as a bug in a rug tonight. No, two rugs!” Tim points at Roy with both hands, then spins around and opens the door to the hallway.

He still hasn’t gotten a chance to catch up with Keeley before the match starts. She and Rebecca had driven out separately – something about girl talk and lattes – but he knows she’s around somewhere. The owner’s box is a little different everywhere they go, but never too terribly hard to find, and he catches a glimpse of her bright pink peacoat when he looks around during the opening lineup. She's sitting between Rebecca and Higgins, and as soon as she notices him watching, she waves happily. He lifts a hand in response, then tucks it back against his chest, turning back to the pitch and squaring his shoulders as the first half begins.

Richmond is playing well; Isaac has stepped up and really filled Roy’s shoes as captain, and all the lads are on the same wavelength, without having to say much of anything to one another. He hates to admit it, but Roy wonders if the seamless communication doesn’t have something to do with the scavenger hunt they’d hosted in the locker room last night. Ted had blindfolded half of the players, and made the other half sit on the bench and shout directions. The whole thing had been a mess, but then they’d passed around the bottle of vodka he’d stashed behind the clean boots as a prize, and everyone had left smiling. If that’s it, Roy can’t deny the results, but he’ll damn sure try.

That’s what he’s thinking about a few minutes later when he turns around again, looking for Keeley in the stands. He’s always looking for her, when he doesn’t have to be watching every second of the match. She’s almost always watching him right back, before he’s even looking at her. And half the time, he’ll feel his phone vibrate in his pocket. Even if he can’t check it until halftime, he knows it’s a comment on the quality of the plays, or the other team’s kits, or how much she likes the view of his ass from the box.

But now, when he looks, he can’t find her anywhere. He looks again, trying to pick her out in the sea of Richmond jerseys. Most of the faces are strangers, but he can distinguish between them. All the way at the top, where Keeley had been sitting before, it’s just Rebecca and Higgins now, an empty seat folded up between them.

Roy stares for a moment, waiting for her to reappear with a soft pretzel or something. But she doesn’t. Eventually, Rebecca catches his eyeline, and shakes her head. Her lips move, but there’s no way Roy can make out the words. All he knows is that Keeley has disappeared, and judging from Rebecca’s gesture, she’s been gone for more than a few minutes.

Something isn’t right; he can feel it in his stomach. And in his knee, but that’s more from the impending winter. The feeling about Keeley, that sits deep in his gut, twisting and knotting around his organs as he turns back to the pitch.

The lads are lining up the next play, but Ted, Nate and Beard are spread out along the sideline. Roy sidesteps around Beard, almost trips over Nate when he moves back just as Roy passes behind him, and finally comes to a stop next to Ted.

"Coach?”

“What’s up, Roy?” Ted doesn’t turn toward him, but he leans in Roy’s direction, and he knows he’s got the man’s full attention.

He hears the announcer take notice of his new position, the commentary echoing around them.

On Richmond’s side of the field, former team member turned coach Roy Kent is vying for the attention of head coach Ted Lasso. The players are lined up; what could he be saying?

But Roy doesn’t say anything. He just points, arms still folded across his chest, until Ted looks up to the stands behind them.

Both coaches now, looking up at the audience. Surely they’re not surprised at the show of support for the Richmond Greyhounds? They’ve sold out almost every game since their relegation …

The rest of the announcement fades to the background when understanding spreads across Ted’s face. Roy knows he’s seen the empty seat, knows he’ll understand the concern Roy can’t put into words. He raises an eyebrow when Tim looks back to his face, and the other coach nods.

“Just be in the locker room for halftime, yeah? The guys are countin’ on you for a speech to hype them up for the rest of the game.”

Roy jerks his chin up and down, then heads for the tunnel that’ll take him out of view of the crowds. The announcer’s voice comes behind him again.

Coach Kent, now heading off of the pitch. Makes you wonder what’s going on for the Greyhounds. Have they sent a coach away in the middle of a match, or did he ask to be excused? And why? But gameplay continues without him …

It’s only a few steps before he’s in the locker room, trying to shake off the memory of the last time he’d left the pitch before a match was up. It’s empty, no signs of another occupant, but the solitude gives him an opportunity to fish his phone out of his pocket.

No texts, no missed calls. Right away, he dials Keeley’s number.

If you’re looking for the PR Manager for the Richmond Greyhounds, leave a message for Keeley Jones after the beep. If you’re trying to reach your best friend Keeley for a round of drinks, hang up and text me. Oh, and Rebecca? If it’s too long to text, I’ll check my emails soon. Kisses!

“Oi, it’s me,” Roy all but grunts into the speaker when Keeley’s voicemail recording is done. “You’re not in your seat. Not that you have to be, but Rebecca hadn’t seen you, and I didn’t …” he trails off, suddenly afraid of sounding clingy and controlling. “Anyway, call me when you get this.”

He stares at his home screen after he hangs up, a selfie Keeley had nabbed his phone to take. He’s got an arm wrapped around her shoulders and his lips pressed against her temple, and her face is scrunched up in laughter. It’s ridiculous, the first time anyone but a blood relative has ever been his background, but he can’t help smiling at it, even as the worry knots itself tighter in his stomach.

When he can’t stand it any longer, he texts Rebecca.

You seen her?

Her reply is almost instant.

Not since she left. I have her coat, phone is in the pocket. Heard it ring.

Well, shit. She doesn’t have her phone, and as far as Roy knows, nobody has any idea where his girlfriend is.

But then there’s a sniffle from inside one of the toilet stalls. He’d know that sound anywhere; it’s the same noise Keeley makes every time they watch a Disney film together, right before he teases her for crying and she pokes fun right back at how he’s not.

He’d peered under the doors when he walked in, checking for feet, but he knocks on the stall anyway.

“Keeley?” He calls, pushing the door open slowly. Sure enough, she’s inside, sitting with her feet tucked up onto the seat, head wedged between her knees and hands clamped tightly around the back of her skull. “Babe, what’s going on?”

“It’s so … it’s so loud out there,” she whispers, but doesn’t look up. “All the yelling and shouting and cheering. It’s a good thing, I know, that the fans are engaged, but it was just pounding on my brain, making my eyes go all spotty. I tried to stick it out, Roy, really; I know how much these games mean to you, to the whole team. But then I felt like I was going to vomit and-” Keeley chokes on a sob. “I couldn’t find anywhere else quiet to go.”

“Right, well come on,” Roy reaches out slowly and squeezes one of her shoulders. “There’s got to be somewhere better to sit than a men’s toilet stall. You’ve met the lads, they’re disgusting.”

Keeley chuckles, thick and teary, but drops her knees and lets Roy pull her to her feet. As soon as she’s standing, she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest. It can’t be too comfortable; he hasn’t taken off the Richmond windbreaker he wears for every game, but Keeley relaxes when Roy doesn’t push her away. Instead, he locks his arms around her shoulders and walks them both slowly back until he can drop onto one of the benches. Keeley stays leaned against him, but brings one hand up to cover her eyes where the harsh lighting seeps in.

“Alright, now, what is it?” Roy asks, when Keeley hasn’t said anything for a while. “You seemed alright when we left this morning.”

“I was. Or, I thought I was anyway. Just a little tired, maybe, but that was all. It was fine until the car ride, but then I got really queasy, and my head started throbbing.” Roy reaches up to scratch his fingers gently through her hair and she sighs. “It got a little better when we got out of the car, but then it was just so-”

“Loud, I know,” he finishes for her, then they both fall silent.

Exhaustion. Nausea. Headache. His sister had those symptoms once, just shy of eight years ago.

Shit.

“Keel. You don’t think you’re … You – we – couldn’t be … you aren’t …"

“What?”

“Um, pregnant? I know we’re careful, but …" Keeley cuts him off with a laugh that turns into a whimper, and he tightens his hold on her.

“No. Definitely not. Not this week, for sure. Just a migraine, I think. Used to get them sometimes, but it’s been a bit.”

“Good,” Roy sighs. “I mean, someday, maybe, but not …”

“Not yet,” Keeley agrees, and something goes warm in his chest, knowing that they’re on the same page. Right now, they don’t need to worry about anything except getting Keeley back in fighting shape.

“Have you taken anything?” She nods against his chest.

“This morning, um, in the car. It didn’t help much. Just need it dark. And quiet.”

“OK, that’s alright,” Roy whispers, dropping his voice even quieter. “It should be almost half, what say we find somewhere else for you to hole up before everyone comes barging in like heathens?”

He’s not sure exactly where they can go, but he knows he’s got to get Keeley out of the locker room before they clear the players off the pitch. She shrugs half-heartedly, and lets Roy pull her back to her feet. He doesn’t have a plan yet, but he starts walking them slowly toward the door as he looks around. There are no offices in here, no treatment rooms or storage closets.

He hasn’t checked the time since he found Keeley, but he’s played enough years of football that his body’s internal clock can feel the seconds ticking away. There’s maybe two or three minutes left, and Ted wants him to give the halftime pep talk. If he asked, if he explained everything, he could probably get out of it, maybe trade Beard for next week or something. Keeley needs him.

But the team needs him too.

All at once, it hits him.

Rebecca.

Rebecca doesn’t have a role in the halftime routine. There’s nothing happening on the field and she almost never comes to the locker room before the match ends. And she’s got a car here; that’s somewhere quiet Keeley can sit, at least until the second half gets underway.

He wiggles his phone out of his pocket again and reopens the text thread.

Found her in locker room. Migraine. Can you meet us and take her outside for halftime? Ted wants me to give speech.

Rebecca doesn’t reply, but a minute or so later, Roy hears the steady click-clack of her heels coming down the hall. Keeley whimpers, and he presses a kiss to her hair as the door swings open.

“Hey,” he says, shifting around to look at Rebecca.

“Hello,” she whispers back.

“Hey, Keeley, Rebecca’s here now,” Roy tips his face back down to whisper against the shell of her ear. “Think you can make it outside with her?”

“We can head back to the hotel, Keeley, if you think that’d help? It’s only a few minutes’ drive.”

“Yeah, ‘s quieter there,” she says, but doesn’t move.

“And I’ll meet you there just as soon as the match is done, hmm?” He runs his fingers up and down her arm, shifting away slightly. “Here, want to take my sunglasses, block out some of the light?”

At that, Keeley squeezes her eyes shut and turns her face up toward Roy. He chuckles and slides his glasses over her eyes, then brushes a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“Alright then, off you go,” He lets Rebecca take her by the arm and lead her back out of the locker room, trying to ignore the way his heart clenches at the sight of her trudging away, hunched over against her own discomfort.

He’ll be back with her soon enough. But the door has no more than swung shut behind them when it bounces open again. Jamie and Sam are leading the pack, the whole team piling in around him.

As usual, their energy is infectious, and Roy finds himself slapping hands and patting backs as he makes his way across the room to where Ted is bringing up the rear.

“Hey, Roy, you get everything all squared away?”

“For now. Rebecca’s taking Keeley back to the hotel; she’s not feeling well.” He should have known better than to hope that Ted Lasso would ever let anything drop with a simple explanation.

“Well that’d explain the text message I got from Boss Lady asking if she’d be alright rooming with me tonight.” Roy’s eyebrows go up at that. “And I’m guessin’ from the look on your face that she didn’t mention anything about that to you? Aw, geez, I hope I didn’t spoil a surprise or anything. But the cat’s out of the metaphorical bag now, isn’t it? So I might as well tell you that I told her that I was a-OK with switching up the room arrangements if that’s what’s best for everyone tonight. Thataways you can keep an eye on Keeley, and down the hall we can have Biscuits with the Boss: Evening Edition. How’s that sit with you?”

“Honestly, Ted, I have no opinion on what time of day you eat biscuits,” Roy sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But thanks. I think. For making sure I can be there for Keeley.”

“We’re all on the same team here, right? What’s good for the goose and all that, we’re at our best when everyone is at their own, individual best. Hey, speaking of, there are some guys in here, waiting for someone to put a little extra pep in their step for the back end of this game. If you’re not up for it, I can see what Coach Beard has up his sleeve, or-”

“No, it’s fine,” Roy cuts him off before the rambling can reach full speed again. “I’ve got this one.”

He turns back to the group, and yells for everyone to listen up. When he’s got their attention, he takes a deep breath.

“What you’re doing on the pitch today, it’s fucking amazing,” he starts. “Not the score, though that’s pretty alright too. But that doesn’t matter half as much as how you’re playing. Hell, you assholes keep communicating this well, you’re going to put us coaches out of a job. I know Ted’s all about the rhymes and anecdotes and shit, but that’s not … I’m not a walking greeting card store,” everyone chuckles, Ted included. “But get back out there, keep working together, and dammit, make the four of us redundant!”

There’s a round of half-sarcastic applause, then Ted steps forward.

“Alright, y’all heard the man. Don’t get tired, get us fire—well, actually, don’t get us fired. That’s not … take the sentiment of what Roy said, but do me a favor and don’t take him literally. I like working with y’all. Anyway, Coach Beard’s gonna take it from here, walk y’all through a couple plays for the second half.”

The players cluster around Beard and his whiteboard diagram, and Ted finds his way back over to Roy at the back of the group.

“You know, if you need to head out a little early today, we can pull through without you. Sometimes a team is strongest when it’s split up to work on all the different things it needs to get done. Like taking care of each other.”

Any other day, he likes to think he’d insist on staying for the rest of the match. But if he’s honest with himself, he knows that he’ll put Keeley first anytime she needs him to.

“That’d be great, Ted. Thanks.”

“Hey, no problem, Roy. I’ll come check up on y’all when we get back?” Roy nods and shakes Ted’s hand quickly, then slips out of the locker room while Beard is saying something about the Sheffield players having “lots of power, like a high-watt light bulb.”

He doesn’t have a car, doesn’t feel like waiting on an Uber, so it’s a half-hour's walk back to the hotel. When he gets there, Rebecca is already waiting for him in the lobby.

“Ted gave me your room number,” she starts, as soon as they’ve said their hellos. “Keeley’s up there lying down. I, uh, I assumed yours was the bed with the unicorn on it?”

“It’s Phoebe’s,” he groans. “But yes.”

“I’m sure.” But she’s smirking like she might not be. “Anyway, Ted’s things are already taken care of, and I think I got everything of Keeley’s into your room, but she unpacked her entire suitcase first thing, so I might’ve missed some shoes or something.”

“No problem. She’ll get them back, I’m sure. Thanks for taking care of her.”

“Anytime, Roy. Really. I’m just down the hall, if either of you need anything.”

Roy nods his thanks and steps into the elevator.

He swipes his key card to unlock the door, then turns the handle and pushes it open slowly. The lights are turned off, and the curtains drawn, so he makes his way carefully, trying to remember if these rooms have any wayward furniture for him to stumble over.

Thankfully, the walkway is clear. He sits gently on the edge of his bed, smiling when the Keeley-shaped lump of covers shifts closer to him.

“Hey, babe,” she mutters.

“Hi,” Roy presses his lips together and pats what he thinks is probably her knee through the blankets. “Feeling better?”

“A little. Rebecca gave me water. And it’s quiet here.”

“Yeah, it is.” He’s not sure what else to say, but Keeley saves him from having to carry on the conversation.

“There’s a unicorn on your bed. ‘S soft.”

“His name is Captain McKibbin,” Roy replies, rolling his eyes even though he knows she can’t see from here. “I’ll tell Phoebe you like him.”

“Please do.”

“Anything else you need?”

“Just you,” she says, and it’s so quietly honest that if Roy weren’t already pretty sure he’s in love with her, it would have sealed the deal. He toes his shoes off and shimmies out of his windbreaker and trousers.

“Alright, well shove over then,” he teases, nudging her shoulder until there’s room for him to lie down beside her. When he pulls the covers back, he recognizes the hoodie she’s wearing as the one he’d crammed into the top of his bag when he packed last night. It’s three sizes too big, and she’s got one of her own just like it, but she looks far better in Roy’s than he ever will.

As soon as he’s lying down, Keeley is turning over and fitting herself against his side, tucking her face back into his bare chest. It’s still early in the evening, and Roy knows that if he falls asleep now, he’ll spend all week regretting it. But Keeley needs the rest, and there’s not much he can do without turning on the TV or lighting up his phone screen.

Besides, one afternoon nap never killed anyone, right?

So he closes his eyes and listens to her steady breathing. When Keeley wakes up, hopefully the worst of the migraine will have passed, and she’ll feel more like herself again. Roy knows they’ve got a pass on team bonding tonight, if they need it, and he doesn’t want to push Keeley into anything she’s not up for. But rumor has it that Beard found a pub with a bowling alley in it, and that’s bound to be entertaining, no matter the scores at the end of the night.

For right now, though, the only thing that matters is Keeley, curled up against him and warmer than all the blankets stacked on top of them. She’s asleep, and he’s following close behind, and nothing matters beyond the comfort they share.

Not migraines, or bowling, or trick plays, or shoes that might have been left down the hall, or anything but Roy and Keeley and this moment together, in the dark and the quiet.

Just them.

[ri-ahhh]

shut up and drive

fucking in grayson’s porsche. that’s it.

2.9k

warnings: quickly, badly stress-induced written smut

“I think I might get a Tesla.”

Grayson’s deep voice breaks the comfortable silence in the Porsche other than the noises of the highway you’re speeding on and the quiet tunes of Post Malone floating through the speakers. You jerk your head to look at him rather than out the window, confusion written all over your features. This is the last thing you expect (or want) to hear from him as the two of you drive to your friends’ engagement dinner.

“What? Why?”

He shrugs, giving your hand a squeeze where your fingers are interlaced on your lap as his eyes stay glued to the road responsibly. “E’s been in my ear about it ever since he got his. It’s better for the environment and everything.”

You hear what he says, but distantly; the way he looks right now is so distracting, and you can’t take your eyes off of him. His short-sleeve button down is a tailored fit to his torso but is too tight on his biceps, and exposes the veins in the forearm that controls the steering wheel loosely. His hair is starting to flop again, with the little waves barely brushing the top of his dark sunglasses. His Louis pants stretch taut across his lap enticingly, leaving nothing to the imagination and allowing your mind a clear picture of what lies beneath them. He’s beautiful all the time, but nothing beats looking over and seeing all that against the soft brown interior of the Porsche.

You don’t want to tell him what to do with his money, though, and if he wants to get a Tesla then that’s his prerogative. You tear your gaze away from him and look out the windshield instead, hoping you don’t sound passive aggressive with your answer. “Hm. Yeah, I guess, if that’s what you want.”

He glances over at you next to him. “What, you don’t like the idea?”

Well, since he’s asking. “I mean, Tesla’s are great, but… I don’t know. The Porsche is you.” A small smile breaks across your lips as you look down at your clasped hands, and start to tickle your manicured nails over the brisk hairs and sensitive skin covering his forearm; he loves when you do that. “And I like watching you drive. The self-driving car thing becomes a little bit of a one-trick pony after a while.”

Grayson smirks at that, his teeth pearly white and tooth jewel gleaming in the evening sun. He glances over his shoulder to change lanes, and your point is proven when your thighs clench involuntarily. He feels it against the back of his palm, and his grin widens. “Am I a multiple-trick pony, then?”

“I don’t think that’s a thing, but sure,” you giggle, wiggling your fingers in the crook of his elbow before allowing yourself to squeeze his bicep gently. Your hand doesn’t even make it halfway around the muscle, especially when he flexes it for you. That, combined with how he simultaneously revs the engine so the car speeds forward in the fast lane, makes your head spin momentarily in a weird rush of arousal. You never thought you had that much of a thing for cars, but maybe it’s just this car with this man. Actually, that’s definitely what it is.

You watch him intently as you remove your hand from his arm and take his hand again instead, surprising him by slipping it under the skirt of your dress so his calloused fingers brush the petal-soft skin of the inside of your thigh. He mumbles your name warningly, even as his hand starts stroking up and down when you part your legs for him, and you grin mischievously. You’re not too far from the restaurant in Beverly Hills now, so he knows you’re only teasing the both of you at this point.

That doesn’t stop him from letting his middle finger slip under the lavender lace crotch of your panties, eliciting a surprised moan from Grayson and a needy one from you when he lights upon the considerable wetness at your slit.

��Fuck, baby, already?” he asks incredulously, gathering the slick on his fingertip and swiping it up to your clit. You moan again in response, eyes closing as your head thumps back on the headrest when he circles the nub a couple of times. “You like seeing me in my car that much?”

“Yeah,” you whisper with a nod and a grin, eyes fluttering open to watch him wantonly as he takes his finger out of your panties and sucks it clean. You miss his touch immediately, but he just smooths your skirt back down from where it has pooled around your hips as he takes the exit. The beginning bulge in his pants has your mouth watering, and you start to reach out to brush over it, but he snatches your hand midair before it can find purchase.

He holds your fingers and kisses your knuckles as you approach a stoplight. “No time,” he says, making a right turn with his free hand. “Why am I just now finding out that my car turns you on so much, though?”

You drag a hand through your hair as the Porsche approaches the line at the valet of the restaurant. Grayson releases your hand and puts the car smoothly in park, shifting in his seat so he can undo his seatbelt and look at you over the top of his sunglasses. You can see the lingering lust in his eyes, and he just looks so good in that driver’s seat that you can’t resist making him sit back so you can snap a few pictures of him. The candid nature of them makes you squirm as a fresh rush of arousal wets your ruined panties.

“Guess I didn’t know what I have until it might be gone.”

***

Dinner is one of the most delicious and miserable meals you’ve ever had. Your friend Sadie and her new fiancee Michael chose a beautiful restaurant in the heart of Beverly Hills to celebrate their engagement. The menu was simple and refined and offered plenty of vegan dishes for you and Gray to choose from. Grayson even joined you in a rare glass of white wine, spurred on by the warm summer night and the joyful atmosphere at the large table you’re all sat at on the outside patio.

The whole time, though, you think of the moments in the car. How soon you could find an excuse to leave and get back to the car. What you would do once you are back in the car. It’s all too much, and you down an extra glass of wine with ease, especially when Grayson sits back in his chair with is arm slung around your shoulders and a hand on your knee once you’re both done with your food. His lips press gently to the buttery skin of your bare shoulder chastely a couple of times, then linger affectionately at your temple when he drags you closer to him. You're buzzing, and you can’t resist tipping your head back to meet his lips quickly. The brief touch sparks that flame in you again, and it’s a good thing he’s completely sober, because your filter for the occasion and your surroundings is impaired to say the least.

He pulls back with a knowing smile. The nearly-set sun makes the restaurant glow under the twinkle lights that have switched on all around the patio, and it illuminates the green and gold in his eyes. You feel warm and happy and in love and turned the fuck on. The only thing you can do to until it’s time to go is lean into him as you distract yourself in conversation with the person next to you. Sadie is getting louder and louder at the middle of the big table as her martinis come and go, so you know you’ll be able to leave soon. It’s your biggest driving thought so you don’t break down and drag Grayson to the bathroom, Porsche be damned.

Finally, you send up a prayer of thanks when Michael stands and drags up a thoroughly drunk Sadie with him. You hug your friends goodbye quickly, then take Gray’s hand as the two of you make haste to the entrance of the restaurant, ensuring you're the first ones at the valet stand.

While you’re waiting, the lobby is loud and boisterous, giving you the perfect cover to lean against Grayson’s side with your arms wrapped around his waist. His own muscular arm secures you to him with it tucked around your shoulders, and your heels make you the perfect height to tilt your head and whisper straight into his ear.

“Let’s go to that lookout we like close by. I’m not ready to go home.”

Half an hour later, after a car ride full of teasing him over his pants and only just slipping your hand into his underwear when you turned the corner to find the lookout empty, the two of you are making out heavily in the backseat. Grayson sits in the middle of the bench seat and you’re straddling him, your dress pushed up around your waist and Grayson’s shirt untucked from his pants. His big hands grip your ass firmly, dragging you along the hard ridge of him through his gaping fly as you work to push his open shirt off his broad shoulders.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot,” you breathe out once he’s shirtless and you're sitting back in his lap to admire his sculpted torso. He just stares up at you, chest heaving as he fights to catch his breath, taking in your wild hair and flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips. You smile, trailing your hand down the center of his pecs. “You look just as good back here as you do up front, baby.”

Grayson grins back, and reaches up to tug at the thick tie holding together the neck of your halter dress, sighing when it drops open and exposes your tits for him. He cups them at once, pushing them together and squeezing as he nuzzles happily in the supple flesh. You giggle, which turns into a light moan when his full lips wrap around a perky nipple, and you clutch him to your chest by the back of his hair.

Your hips start rocking again, and he suckles harder before releasing you with a wet little pop. “Love your tits,” he growls, fingers playing with your wet nipple as his mouth encapsulates the other.

His mouth and fingers feel amazing, but he’s rock hard beneath you and your pussy is positively soaking. You need him to fuck you in this car before you combust from want rather than action.

You tug hard on his hair. “Gray, please. I need you now.”

He sits back, and you instantly take advantage of the space between you to fish his dick out of his boxer briefs, whimpering when your fist closes around his hot, hard flesh. You spit into your palm and start stroking him, then when that’s not enough you dip your hand into your panties and coat it in the seeping wetness coming from your center.

“Ok…fuck!” he gasps, groaning with his head thrown back when he sees you lubricating him in your small hand with your own juices. He lets himself indulge in the sensations you're bringing about before he reluctantly closes his fist around yours to stop you. He hooks his other hand around the back of your neck and drags you down for a wet, sloppy kiss. You both pull away after a few moments, gasping desperately for breath.

“Turn around, lean over the console.”

You don’t need telling twice, and your pussy throbs when you realize this is it. You shift off his lap to the seat next to him as he lifts his hips enough to push his pants and briefs down to his ankles before climbing back to the middle. Your feet touch the floor, and you plant one hand on the bottom of either seat in the front.

Grayson pushes your skirt all the way up and tugs your thong aside, holding it against the fleshy skin of your ass so he can dive in to lick a firm, thick stripe up the slit of your pussy all the way to your asshole. You cry out sharply, the softness of his tongue a far cry from the blunt head of his dick that you were expecting, but it’s welcomed for the moment nonetheless. He dips it into your hole, eating you up and swallowing you down as your pussy leaks into his mouth. You can hear the strings of your arousal clinging to his lips when he moves further down to suckle on your clit for a few seconds, before he’s pulling back and slapping your ass sharply.

“God, that tastes fucking good,” he grunts. You moan in reply, and he unzips the back of your dress before pushing and wiggling the fabric down your body until you can kick it off to the side once it’s pooled at your feet. He shifts a little awkwardly behind you until your eyes catch his in the rear view mirror, and you can see him position one knee onto the back seat while his other foot plants firmly beside one of yours. His hand swipes up the wet mess of your pussy and gives himself a couple of slow strokes. “Ready, baby?”

You nod frantically, eyes glued to his in the reflection of the mirror as he sinks the tip into you. You can already tell this will take no time at all on your end, your walls already fluttering madly as he pushes incrementally into you. The view of the brown leather and the gear shift and the fancy little dashboard and Grayson makes you heady, ready to have him give you the best dicking down of your life, in this Porsche.

Grayson groans loudly once he’s fully seated inside, and he pulls back at once to start thrusting. He builds it up, starting slow but quickly getting harder, faster, his balls slapping against your clit repeatedly. His hand slides up your back and hooks over your shoulder for leverage, the other holding your underwear out of the way so tight you can vaguely hear the threads ripping rapidly.

Despite the state of arousal you're in, how good his dick feels pushing the copious amount of wetness out of you with every thrust, you need more. You need the sharpness of his hand spanking you, the dull ache of his finger deep in your ass, the light but suspenseful pressure of his hand around your throat…anything to get you over the edge.

“Fuck me harder, baby, harder please!” is all you manage to say. Your whines are high-pitched and desperate and loud, filling the car with the sounds of his grunts and whispered curses.

You couldn’t articulate what you want, but Grayson knows you like the back of his hand by now, and he knows what you really mean. He moans and you squeal at the sharp pain of the lace at your hip digging into your skin until it finally gives way to his strength. He tosses the ruined scrap of fabric to the side blindly and brings his palm to smack against your ass, enthralled at the bright pink handprint left on your skin, before grasping a handful of your hair in his fist. The pleasurable pain as he tugs hard enough to pull at your scalp and arch your back so the angle becomes that much better is exactly what you need, and he continues to pound you as he speaks.

“Dirty girl,” he murmurs into your ear, and the ease with which he speaks makes your eyes roll back almost as much as the sensation of his breath tickling your ear, or his dick pumping at that perfectly steady pace. How does he have you reduced to a fucking puddle of pleasure in the middle of his sexy car, while he talks like he’s barely breaking a sweat? “Wanting me to fuck you in my nice car. You like it, baby? Like how I fuck you in my fucking Porsche?”

You can’t answer him because your jaw just gapes open as your orgasm builds so suddenly, so intensely, that you can’t even make a sound when you finally cum hard on his dick. You're silent with the first couple of clenches around him, your legs shaking and collapsing and trapping his throbbing length inside of you, until you’re literally brought to your knees with shrill cries and moans of bliss.

“Oh my god, baby, fuck,” you groan out gutturally, your chest collapsing over the console as you gasp for air. Grayson moans and releases your hair, moving to grip your hips with both hands as he starts pumping into you again, using you for his own orgasm.

“Gray, cum for me, please!” you whimper, moaning as you listen to his gasps and grunts get louder and more desperate until finally he’s pulling out with a sharp groan and shooting up along your sweaty back.

You sigh happily and encourage him with heated whispers, and when you hear him let out that final, tired ‘fuck’, you smile and reach back to swipe your fingers through the mess on your spine. You suck the white liquid from your fingers lasciviously, and feel his own hand collect what you missed before offering it to you as well.

“Holy shit,” he mutters, plopping back in the middle seat and pulling you with him by the waist for a cuddle. “That was…awesome. Best car sex we’ve ever had.”

You grin tiredly and snuggle up to his side, planting a kiss to his sweaty chest. “Yeah. Don’t get a Tesla.”

[thatfanficstuff]

Feelings - Tony DiNozzo

Pairing: Tony DiNozzo x reader

Warnings: canon typical violence and situations, language.

A/N: 3500 words. Way longer than I’d intended. First time writing Tony x reader. Hope you like it. 

***

Gibbs had his rules for a reason. You didn’t ask about those reasons. It was hard enough just remembering the damn rules without worrying about the back story that went with them. There was a rule for just about anything: dealing with attorneys, putting family first, not annoying Gibbs. There was even that one rule about not dating your co-workers that you were dying to know the origins of but were in no way brave enough to ask.

Unfortunately, there was no rule about falling in love with your co-worker. Sometimes you wondered if there was, if you could have avoided all this. I mean, you were so careful about following the rules to the point that Tony often made fun of you for having them memorized. If you were honest with yourself, you knew it wouldn’t have mattered. Hadn’t you tried everything you could think of to keep your heart from falling for his hazel eyes and lazy smile?  

He was a player. But that didn’t stop your gaze from following him as he headed to the elevator and his latest date.

You reminded yourself he never took anything seriously even while you laughed at his latest prank.

He talked about movies way too much. It was obsessive really. That didn’t stop you from watching every film he mentioned, a bowl of popcorn in your lap and an empty space beside you on the couch.

Maybe that was the problem. Perhaps you were just lonely. Maybe—

“Y/N,” Tony’s voice pulled you from your thoughts and you realized you’d been staring at the same piece of paper on your desk for the last half hour. Shit.

You glanced up, eyebrows raised in question. “Yeah?”

His brow was furrowed and his gaze was filled with concern. “You okay?”

Your cheeks heated and you turned back to the papers on your desk. “I’m fine.”

Tony huffed. “If there is one thing I know, it’s that a woman is never fine when she says she is. So, what’s going on?”

You shook your head. “It’s nothing, Tony.”

The next thing you knew, he was right beside you, perched on the corner of your desk. If Gibbs and McGee were here you wouldn’t have to deal with this. McGee would tell him to leave you alone and Gibbs would smack the back of his head. They both respected your privacy. Your need to not share every aspect of your life. Why couldn’t you have fallen for one of them?

 As you leaned back in your chair, you ran your gaze over him until you met his eyes. “Can I help you with something, DiNozzo?”

“It’s never nothing, Y/N. You’re always zoning out lately. Something’s bothering you.”

“I just didn’t sleep well. It’s not a big deal. Everyone has off days, today’s one of mine.”

He hummed as he tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “Normally I’d give you that, but this has been going on for weeks. So, what is it? Money? Are you sick? Have a fight with Abby?”

You just leaned back in your chair and kept your eyes on the man sitting on your desk like he owned it. He continued to list topics, pausing between each one to gage your reaction.

Suddenly, his brows shot up as he frowned. “Is it a guy?” The tone of his voice said that it couldn’t possibly be the right answer. It would have been so easy to fool him, but you couldn’t stop your eyes from moving away from him, afraid he’d see everything you were too afraid to say.

“It is!” There was an undertone to his voice you couldn’t quite place.

You ignored it, and him, to turn your attention back to the paperwork on your desk.

“I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“There’s nothing to say, Tony. Now can I please get back to work? I really don’t want Gibbs chewing my ass again.” You were far enough behind on your paperwork that Vance had said something to your boss. That had earned you a head slap and an admonishment about you knowing better.

Tony grabbed the pen from your hand and dropped it on the desk. “Come on. You know Gibbs doesn’t care about paperwork. He’s just passing along the ass chewing he got from Vance. Quit avoiding the question. Is this why you’ve been skipping out on our dinners?”

You sighed. Tony liked to eat and you liked to cook so you’d started inviting him over once a week. Lately you’d feigned other plans to keep from having to spend an evening concealing your feelings. “Actually, yes.”

“Nice. You start getting laid and leave me to starve.” He moved back over to his desk with a scowl on his face. “I thought I meant more to you than that.”

His affronted tone had you rolling your eyes. “I didn’t say anything about getting laid. And you’re hardly starving.”

“Tell that to my scale. I’ve lost five pounds since you quit feeding me.”

His disgruntled tone bothered you. “Are you okay, Tony?”

He shook his head but said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just miss your cooking is all.”

His phone rang before you could respond. After a quick conversation, he hopped to his feet. “Johnson hasn’t showed up at home. Gibbs wants us to try his mom’s place while they sit on the apartment.”

***

Despite your suspect’s mother claiming she hadn’t seen her son in months, it was your experience that people tended to run home when scared. You hoped that’s precisely what this suspect had done as you were more than ready to close the case.

Tony parked along the curb at the end of the driveway so no one could pull out while you two were otherwise occupied. He took the front while you went around the back. He gave you a moment to let you get into position before knocking on the door. As you listened to the hum of him talking to someone, you kept your weapon trained on the back door. A moment later, the unmistakable feeling of a gun pressed against the back of your head. Shit. You should have done more than your cursory examination of the backyard.

“Easy there, sweetheart. Hands up.”

You did as instructed, and he yanked your weapon from your hand. “Phillip Johnson, I presume.”

“That’s me. Give me the keys to the car.”

“What car?”

He slammed the side of the gun into the back of your head. Not hard enough to knock you out but hard enough to give you an instant headache. “Don’t play stupid.”

“I don’t have the keys. I didn’t drive.” You forced the words through teeth gritted in pain.

He stepped up behind you to pat down your pockets. “Fuck,” he growled when he discovered you were telling the truth.

“Look, just go. It’s not like I can shoot you as you run away, you have my weapon.” You wanted to diffuse the situation, to try to control the fallout from your fuck up. He was angry and armed and was the type to start shooting people if he felt trapped.

“So you can scream for help before I get two blocks away? I don’t think so.” He pushed you toward the back door. “In you go.”

You gave a brief thought to yelling for Tony but kind of liked your brains where they were. Johnson had already killed once, what was to keep him from killing again? He shoved you through the house causing you to stumble more than once. You could hear Tony still arguing with the mother at the front door. Johnson stepped up behind you and pinned you against his chest with a thick arm, the gun now shoved against your temple. He walked you into view of the front door though you couldn’t see anything as his mother blocked the opening.

“Look, Mrs. Johnson, while I appreciate your position, the fact remains that we have a warrant for your son’s arrest. You’re gonna need to let me in to make sure he’s not here or we’ll come in anyway and won’t be nearly as nice about it. I’ve already called backup. They’re on the way.” Tony was using the placating tone he always used when trying to convince a suspect or a witness that he was harmless and reasonable.

“You come in and your friend dies,” Johnson yelled.

His mother was pulled from the doorway and onto the front porch behind Tony who had his gun drawn and aimed in almost the same moment. His eyes were glued to the weapon pressed to your head. His face lost what little color it had. “Let her go, Phil. You don’t want to do this.”

“Oh, but I do.” He moved forward and slammed the door in Tony’s face. He shoved you and put some space between the two of you. “Close the blinds and the curtains,” he ordered. When you dared to look at him, he waved the gun as if to bring your attention to it. Like you could forget for a minute the situation you were in. Your eyes flicked down, spotting your sidearm tucked into his waist band.

Your brain worked through scenarios even as you did as he’d ordered. As you closed the last blind you caught a glimpse of Gibbs stepping from his vehicle. Your team would get you out of here. They had to.

***

It had been almost two hours. Once you’d secured the house to his satisfaction, Johnson had used your own cuffs to restrain you. Fortunately, he was an idiot and left your hands in front instead of placing them behind your back so you’d have less mobility. He was using your phone to talk to Gibbs periodically. He’d put the calls on speaker and you could tell Gibbs’ patience was wearing thin. You’d tried to talk to him during the first call and Phillips backhanded you with the gun still in hand. The whole right side of your face felt tight and sore. Asshole.

“What the hell is taking so long?” he muttered as he peered through a gap in the blinds. He glanced over at you. “Call him.”

You reached forward and pressed the button to call Gibbs and put it on speaker. “Gibbs,” he answered.

“Where’s my money and my car?”

“I told you it was going to take some time. If you want to forget about the money, you can leave right now. I’ll even give you a police escort out of town. Just let your hostage go.” You could hear the anger simmering in his voice.

“You have thirty minutes or I start sending her out in pieces.” He slammed his finger down on the disconnect.

“Well, that was monumentally fucking stupid.” So was pissing off the man with the gun but you were running out of time. You’d been waiting for an opening, but thus far hadn’t found one. It was time to make one of your own.

He shoved the barrel of the gun against the temple on the sore side of your face and you winced. Fucker. “What did you say?”

“You just confirmed that you have no problem hurting me. And you put a timeline on it. They’ll try to take you out now.”

Uncertainty flashed on his face and he glanced toward the windows.

“You were smart covering the windows, but they’ll be getting ready to send in a tactical team now. They’re probably already out front.”

After a second of indecision, he moved away from you to peek through the gap between the blind and the window. His gaze kept darting back to you. “I don’t see anything.”

You shook your head. “They’ll be prepping further down the street so it’s harder for you to see.” You gestured to one of the other windows. One that would put him close to you with his back turned while he tried to get a view of his impending doom.

As he moved to the new viewpoint, you leaned forward, shifting your legs so you could get to your feet quickly. The moment his attention was elsewhere, you launched yourself at him. He grunted as he slammed against the wall and window.

“Bitch!” He tried to turn, to get the gun up, but you didn’t give him even a single moment to recover. You couldn’t or that would be the end of you. Instead, you shifted your weight to come at him from a different angle. You drove him toward the ground, grabbing your gun from his waistband as you went.

The impact knocked the weapon from his hand. You pushed yourself to your feet and aimed your weapon. Johnson didn’t even notice as he scrambled for his own gun. You fired a round into the floor by his head and he froze instantly. “Give me a reason.”

He rolled over, hands raised in front of him. Your phone began to ring but you kept your attention, and your gun, on Johnson. “Couch,” you instructed.

The call had barely had time to go to voicemail before it began ringing again. If you didn’t answer it soon, things would get a hell of a lot more chaotic. Still, you waited until Johnson sat on the couch to move over and grab the other gun from the floor. You laid it on the table beside you.

Your phone started another cycle of ringing and you heard Gibbs on the bullhorn. “Answer the phone or we’re coming in.”

You answered the call on speaker phone, needing to keep your hands free for your gun. “You can come in, but I’m going to be real pissed if someone shoots me.”

A sigh of relief was the immediate answer.

“Johnson has been disarmed. I’m the one that fired the shot. See you in a second.”

It wasn’t even a breath later that the front door opened and people swarmed around you. You kept your weapon trained on Johnson even as he was pulled to his feet and placed in cuffs. A hand settled on top of yours and you followed the length of the arm to find Gibbs standing next to you. “We’ve got him. You can stand down, Agent.” His jaw tightened as he took in the injury to your face. His eyes found yours and softened. “Give me the gun, Y/N.”

You nodded and loosened your grip so he could take the weapon from you.

“DiNozzo, get her out of here,” he ordered.

You turned to your other side to find Tony. The smile he gave you was strained, but it was good to see it just the same. “Hey.”

His smile widened, became a little more genuine. “Hey.” He unlocked the cuffs and took them off before tossing them to Gibbs. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders to steer you out the door and you relaxed against him, content to simply be in his presence after the last couple of hours.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he said as he led you to a waiting ambulance. “Let’s not do this ever again, okay?”

“But I was so looking forward to making it a weekly thing.” You sat so your feet dangled out of the back of the ambulance while the medic looked you over. Tony stood silently, arms crossed over his chest as he watched them work. You grit your teeth and flinched as they pressed against bruised skin checking for broken bones. You cursed outright when they found the bump on the back of your head.

“It wouldn’t hurt to have this checked at the hospital to make sure you don’t have a concussion.”

You waved him away. “I’m good. Promise.”

“Y/N/N, maybe you should—” Tony interjected but you cut him off.

“I just want to go home, Tony.”

He looked uncertain.

“Please.”

He thought a moment more before saying, “Yeah. Okay.”

Your shoulders sagged in relief and you took the hand he offered you. Once you were on your feet, he stayed close but released your hand. Instead, he settled his at the base of your spine to steer you through the scene until you stood in front of your boss.

“They clear you?” Gibbs asked, looking between you and Tony.

“Sure did, boss,” Tony answered for you, sounding entirely too upbeat. You resisted the urge to smack him in the stomach.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes but nodded just the same. “All right. Take her home. I’ll see you both in the morning for debriefing.”

***

Tony was unusually quiet on the way home, which was fine since you didn’t really feel like talking. After the third time you caught him looking at you, you turned your attention out the window. It wasn’t until he parked the car that you focused enough to realize he hadn’t taken you to your home at all. You followed the familiar path to his apartment.

“Have a seat,” he instructed once you’d made it inside. He disappeared into the kitchen while you made yourself comfortable on his couch. When he emerged, he held a beer in one hand and a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a towel in the other. He placed the beer on the table beside you and handed you the makeshift icepack. You held it to the side of your face, flinching at the contact.

“Thanks.”

He nodded absently and began to pace the floor. Your gaze followed him for a couple of minutes before you interrupted. “What is it, Tony?”

He turned to you, his eyes wide. His gaze darted down then back up and he licked his lips. He pulled something from his pocket and set it on the table. It took you a moment to realize it was your phone. He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck and pink dusted his cheeks. “I should have given that to you earlier. You probably want to call this boyfriend I knew nothing about. But if you could wait a minute, there’s something I need to say first.”

“Only if you sit. The pacing’s driving me nuts.”

He grinned at that and sat on his coffee table. He was close enough your knees touched. You resisted the urge to press closer. When several minutes passed without him saying anything you spoke up. “Tony—”

“No. I’m sorry. I’m getting to it. I just usually don’t do this sort of thing.”

“Talk?”

“Cute, but no.” He licked his lips again. “Look, I lied to you.”

You frowned as you tried to follow what he was trying to tell you.

He sighed. “When we were talking about this guy and all those canceled dinners and you asked if I was okay. I said yes when that was the furthest thing from the truth. In my defense, I thought I would be okay. I mean, if he makes you happy, that’s what’s important, right?”

He pushed to his feet before you could respond and started pacing the floor again. “But then you had to go and get yourself held hostage. When I saw you with that gun to your head, I knew I’d never be okay again if something happened to you. If I lost you before I ever had a chance to tell you.” He stopped pacing and turned to face you. “I’m crazy about you, Y/N/N. I have been pretty much from the moment Gibbs introduced you to the team.”

You blinked as you tried to process the fact that Tony DiNozzo had just admitted to having feelings. For you.

“Right, well, that’s done. I’ll just go see what I have for dinner.” He fled to the kitchen before you could stop him.

Rather than calling him back, you followed him. You stepped into the doorway to find him leaning on the counter with his back to you and his head bowed. Your heart ached at that thought that he’d apparently been pining after you as much as you had him. “It was you.”

He looked over his shoulder. His brow furrowed as he met your gaze. “What?”

“The guy that I cancelled all the dinners for? That was you.”

He turned to give you his full attention. “That doesn’t make any sense, Y/N/N.”

You shrugged. “Well, see, I would have dinner with you. We’d watch a movie together. Maybe have a few drinks and I could fool my heart into thinking that maybe, just maybe we could have more. Then a few nights later I’d watch you hurry to the elevator so you wouldn’t be late for a date.” You closed the distance between you but didn’t touch him. Not yet. “My heart couldn’t take me playing pretend anymore. It hurt too much. So, I started making excuses.”

“And I was doing the same thing, only I was making dates, hoping someone could make me forget about you.”

“How’d that work out for you, DiNozzo?”

He rested a hand along the uninjured side of your face and ran his thumb across your cheek. “Not great. How about you, Y/L/N? Did you manage to get over me?”

“Not even close.”

His smile was radiant.

“Hey, DiNozzo.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Kiss me already.”

[tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar]

Ice Cream Princess

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: There isn't a day that JJ doesn't come to visit you at work. On the day he doesn't, you decide to visit him at work instead.

Word Count: 1,876

Note: A Stranger Things and Outer banks crossover imagine that no one asked for. Please give me feedback on anything but the title, I'm judging it and laughing at myself because of it. I hope you love it!

An ice-cream parlor opens up across the street of The Wreck. The owner quickly judges all of the teenagers that come in looking for a part-time summer job. Luckily for you, your older cousin Robin sweet talks her way - agrees to watch his daughter- to get Hopper to hire you on the spot.

Your favorite co-worker is Steve. Both of you share stories and talk about anything and everything. You're weren't too surprised to find he hang outs with "lil punks".

He has a childish side that comes out when it's you two in the shop. If a touron gives you a weird feeling and tries to flirt with you, Steve takes over like a protective older brother. You started calling him mom when he bossed you around the first time.

Last night there was a party held by the Pogues at the Boneyard. When Robin's girlfriend texts you saying that she woke up with a hangover, you agree with her that it would be best if you cover her shrift.

When you get to the shop on your bike, you park it next to Steve car and cringe when the annoying front door bell rings as you enter. "I'm surprised to see your face this morning."

"Good or bad surprised, mom?" He rolls his eyes as you walk past him and pat his shoulder.

He yells, "the worst!" As you make your way to the small back room and put your backpack in your locker.

You grab the lanyard Pope gave to you and trace the lil doodles Kiara drew on your nametag.

Clocking in, you wave at Hopper through his open office window. He learns further in his chair, arms across his chest.

"You work too much."

"You don't pay me enough."

Humming to the radio that's connected to the speakers that hang from the ceiling, you look over Steve shoulder to see which Playlist he's playing.

You mutter, "I hate that thing" when the bell rings.

JJ is leading everyone, arms flaring around as he jumps on top of the counter. He bends one knee underneath his other leg to sit more comfortably sideways and grins at you.

"You're ass is going to break that and you'll have to pay for it."

"Are you telling me I have a fat ass?" He puts a hand over his heart and fakes cries. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, Princess."

You shove him off, chuckling when he almost doesn't save his fall and trip over his own two feet.

"So dramatic like always and Y/N is still my name." You point down at your nametag. "Y/N. Not Princess."

"What do you guys want today?" Steve asks.

JJ glares at him but smirks when you pick up a scoop. He leans over the counter and says, "I'll like a lick of that."

You tell Pope thank you for slapping JJ in the back of the head, making his gray and red snapback fall off.

He runs his fingers through his hair and you barely catch it when throws it towards you.

"You would look better in it than that." He reaches over to tap on your uniform hat wear.

You blush at the hidden complaint and slap his hand away.

"Stop flirting." John B says as he hands over JJ his ice cream.

Kiara slightly pushes him towards the table, they always sit at.

Steve smirks as he leans against the counter. "Princess?"

In the corner of your eye, you see JJ giving himself whiplash. You know Steve is on a mission to find a nickname for you, especially something that you hate as much as he hates 'mom'.

But JJ doesn't. "It's a long story."

"I'll love to hear it someti-"

JJ claps his hands together as the chair slides across the floor as he stands up. "Once upon a time, little miss Y/N dressed up as a princess one Halloween. There was a picture of proof that her mother gladly showed me. Ever since, I've called her Princess and one day she'll call me her Prince. The end."

Sarah 'awwws' and says, "That's actually really adorable."

"Thank you, I know." JJ says proudly and you both smile at each other.

─────

During your next shift, it's only John B and JJ.

"Well hello there boys."

JJ takes off his sunglasses off slowly and puts his arm on the counter. "Princess."

You try not to pay attention to how good his arms look with his gray tank top.

You're the one who breaks eye contact. You don't miss the little fist pump he does but you miss how his shoulders drop when you look at him after seeing how panic John B looks.

Oh, right.

"We need to get the biggest bowl of Sarah's favorite ice cream. Her monthly came to visit and John B, the sweetheart idiot he is, doesn't remember her flavor."

You make 'o' shape with your mouth. "Got it. It's the end of the world for him. Well lucky for you, I know it."

John B screams out, "I owe you one" as he grabs the cup container from you and runs out to the Van.

JJ puts money in the tip jar. "From future Sarah."

After you watch him put his sunglasses back on and the door bell rings when the door closes, Robin pinches your leg.

"Are you going to start helping me again with this or am I going to have to restock everything myself?"

Blushing, you say, "I'm not Steve."

She stops laughing after a few seconds to say, "I bet you that JJ knows his Princess favorite ice cream flavor."

"Shut up."

─────

Pope, Kiara, and JJ all give you a pointed look when they stop by the shop before seeing a movie. The movie you agreed to go to one minute but then the next you said "wait sorry, I have to work." and hanged up on JJ.

"I'm about to drag you and your cute stubborn ass out of here for once and all, Princess."

Kiara has a hand on her hip, when she says, "You need to take a break."

You close your eyes and throw your head back, annoyed that she's right. "You guys know how much I need this job and the money."

A look of understanding crosses JJ's face but he straightens himself and says in a stern voice, "You are also supposed to have fun with your friends once a while."

"I know that!" He doesn't flinch at you raising your voice.

Thinking he's used to it, your heart and face fall.

"I- I'm sorry. How about we all hangout tomorrow at the Chateau and relax? Or we can do anything you guys want to do. Let John B and Sarah know and-"

JJ strides behind the counter and pulls you in a hug. No one words are needed when you shove your face against his chest and catch your breathing.

Pope puts a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, JJ. We're going to be late."

"You know what? I'm actually in the mood for ice cream not theater popcorn. Go on without me."

Kiara tells you both goodbye and Pope mouths "whipped" and does the wrapped around a finger hand's motion as she pulls him away.

You look up at JJ. "You didn't have to do that."

"Do what?" His cocky grin becomes bigger when you roll your eyes before helping a costumer. He leaves the counter to sit at the table, hands on the bottom of his chin as he does silly faces from behind the stranger's shoulder.

─────

Steve looks up when he hears the bell ring and watches as JJ loses his step.

Before he can walk away, Steve says, "She will be back shortly. I sent her to the bank real quick for more change."

JJ lets the door close behind him. He takes a big breath in as he turns around. "You trust her that much, huh?"

"Don't you?"

JJ lets out a dark laugh. "It's different. You get payed to see her, I do it because I want to."

That's Steve's breaking point. "Okay, I don't understand why or how you started hating me the first time you met me but I think I can get a wild guess why. A attractive, couple of years older comes into her life. You're jealous over nothing, dude. I see her as annoying little sister. And yeah, I get payed to do this shitty job but when she's working too, she makes it fun."

"Are you done?" JJ is looking at anything but him.

"One more thing, don't waste anymore time."

Steve looks at the clock on the wall and figures you'll be back any minute.

"I have to get to work." JJ looks over his shoulder.

He opens his mouth but changes his mind, and closes it and walks out.

On the other side of the sidewalk, he doesn't stop when you call out his name.

──────

"Funny seeing you're here."

JJ slams his tray down on the table next to yours. "I work here."

He stops wiping it down and gets the sudden urge to squirt you with the cleaning product bottle when he hears you tapping your feet against the chair across on of your table.

When he looks around and notices there aren't a lot of people in the dinner room he sits down and huffs and puffs. "Why are you here?"

"What? You can come visit me at work but I can't?"

When you both notice another bus boy, you let JJ grab the nearest glass pitcher and pull you some water.

"Now you can't walk away and ignore me, like how you did a couple of hours ago."

"I'm sure Steve told you all about it." The biter in his voice makes you lean over the table to grab his hand.

He jumps but doesn't pull away.

"He told me that you came in the shop, you looked like a little lost puppy when you made eye contact with him instead of me. You guys actually had somewhat of a conversation, which, I'm surprised actually happened."

JJ smiles a little as you start spinning one of his rings. "Steve didn't tell me what it was about...at first."

JJ can't sit still.

He stands up and as he talks, he walks in pace. "He, he uh- shit. Fuck, okay. He got in my head. I couldn't talk to you cause I didn't want to say something that would ruin our friendship. I didn't even know how I would say it-to be honest, still don't but you're smart, I think you know where am I going with this-"

He stops talking, mid-sentence when you laugh. "JJ, just say it or I'll crush your ego by saying it first."

"I love you." He says it over and over again in the middle of the kisses after you say it back.

He stops when someone yells his name and tells him to get back to work.

You give him a quick peak and have to put your hands on top of his to move them off of your hips.

"I'll see you later, JJ. We can go watch a movie?"

"Sounds like a date, Princess."

[featherfur]

Museum Bonding

Characters: Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng

Warnings: Blood and arguing, Modern Au, Sometimes You Just Gotta Punch It Out

Words: 4.5k

Summary: Wei Wuxian wants his brother and fiancé to get along and decides to leave them alone at a museum. It works, but it takes a few punches and a near heart attack for Wei Wuxian. Apparently, punching fiancé's is a family tradition.

Read me on Ao3, Ko-Fi is on Sidebar

“Wei Wuxian you need to come get your fiancé this fucking instant.” Jiang Cheng’s voice hissed through the phone as Wuxian put it to his ear.

With a soft sigh, Wuxian grabbed a spoon and continued his stirring before he bothered to answer Jiang Cheng’s begging. Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan were supposed to be bonding while Wuxian helped Yanli finish cooking. He’d only been gone for two hours and apparently they were already at each other’s throats.

“Chengcheng, please, what did he do? You know you can’t treat him like me, he and his brother aren’t like us.” Wuxian hummed, thinking about the well-mannered Xichen fondly. They really were so much more lowkey in their arguments.

“I hate you, I hate you so much and I hate him… We’re… bonding and I don’t like it.” The way Jiang Cheng howled it into the phone, Wuxian would have thought he was being actively killed rather than just wandering around a museum.

Wuxian laughed so hard he dropped the spoon onto the floor and had to fall back against the counter. He tried to stifle it with a hand to his mouth but it did nothing to stop the flowing giggles.

In the other room Yanli gave him an alarmed look but that just made the giggles turn into wheezing. Even Jiang Cheng’s angry growling in his ear did absolutely nothing to help cut off the endless stream. He tried his best, he really did, but this was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard out of his brother and he would remember this for years.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan’s voice came through the phone, sounding almost as distressed as Jiang Cheng and the laughter only increased.

“Wa-wait…” He wheezed, fumbling around for the spoon and taking the second to grab a clean one to suck in a few breaths. They sounded so upset at getting along, what was Wuxian supposed to do?

“Okay, okay, I’m… I’m back.” Wuxian still snickered to himself as he started stirring again at Yanli’s pointed look. Pregnant and missing her husband was not leading to a happy Yanli and Wuxian did not want to be the one at the bad end of her disappointed face.

“Can I please come stay with you?” Lan Zhan said, and if it was anyone else Wuxian would have said it was a whine but of course his amazing Lan Zhan would never.

Suppressing another round of laughter, Wuxian shook his head and smiled at the pan instead. Was it cheesy of him to still be so excited and fuzzy-feeling whenever Lan Zhan said anything about being with him? Yes. Would Wuxian ever stop? Nope.

“Lan Zhan.” Wuxian finally said, trying his best to use a stern tone that definitely wasn’t working. “Jiang Cheng, you two are supposed to be bonding. Why is that so bad?”

The phone scratched and made a shuffling noise before Jiang Cheng’s voice came back.

“Did you know your fiancé loves art history?”

Wei Wuxian nodded to himself, wondering why that was a big deal. Was Jiang Cheng just grumpy that Lan Zhan knew more about the paintings? Or maybe Lan Zhan had corrected the guide, that had happened the last time they’d gone together.

“Xichen is a well known artist, I’d be more confused if Lan Zhan wasn’t interested in it-”

“Did you know that your brother loves art history?” Lan Zhan’s voice cut in and that was news to Wuxian.

“Uh, no? Jiang Cheng hates it, he failed three art classes in college. Had to get a job and everything to pay for them because his mother wouldn’t pay for them.”

“I didn’t-” Jiang Cheng’s voice cut off and Wuxian just knew his fiancé was giving Jiang Cheng a glare of absolute loathing for daring to lie even if it was to get along with Lan Zhan. “Wuxian, I did not fail three classes.”

Jiang Cheng’s voice dropped into the lowest hiss as if someone was going to crawl out of the walls with his mother to yell at him again. It had not been a good two years and even Jin Zixuan had been trying to offer Jiang Cheng money to just take a different elective so he could pass. Jiang Cheng, like usual, had been too damn stubborn to admit defeat and had just re-taken the same classes even when his parents had cut the college fund.

Wei Wuxian understood not wanting to admit to that, especially when the Jiang name held prestige in the fashion industry, and if it was anyone else then Wuxian would be happy to lie. Not to Lan Zhan though, never to Lan Zhan.

Wuxian opened his mouth to inform him of just that, when Jiang Cheng cut him off with an embarrassed confession.

“Tell your perfect fiancé to stop looking at me like that… I didn’t fail the classes, I didn’t want to graduate yet and have to go into the business so I lied and said I failed them. No one looked at my transcripts, I took a different class each time, I didn’t realize you actually believed that bullshit.” Jiang Cheng confessed sullenly and Wuxian wished he was standing beside him so he could kick his ass.

“You what?” Wuxian howled at the phone, dropping it onto the counter and pressing the speaker when Yanli ran into the room in a panic. “You tell Yanli-jie what you just said right now.”

“No wait- She’s going to be ups-”

“A-Cheng.”

“Fuck.” The phone went silent and Wei Wuxian wondered what silent conversation Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng were glaring out. If it wasn’t for the fact that Yanli was now in this, he would be driving over there just to watch it go down.

“Okay… fucking… You remember when Mom kicked you out? You left and you said ‘don’t be a pushover when I can’t protect you’.” Jiang Cheng started and Wei Wuxian wailed dramatically, smacking himself in the face.

“I meant don’t let Jin Zixun talk shit, I didn’t mean… Lan Zhan, smack him for me! Twice!” There was a moment of almost audible mutual glaring. “Jiang Cheng, oh my god, oh my god. This is why she hated me, I turned you into a disgrace.”

“Shut up, I have two Master’s degrees from it even Jin Zixuan only has one.” Jiang Cheng shouted back before shuffling came over the phone and Wuxian realized Lan Zhan was probably shoving him out of the quiet museum.

“Enough yelling,” Yanli sighed softly, “A-Cheng, what are you talking about?”

It took a moment but finally Jiang Cheng’s voice came through at a much softer tone.

“I… wanted to get back at Mom for kicking Wuxian out, and I wanted to major in Art history anyways. Dad said that I had to go into business to take over Lotus, the only difference for the degrees were three classes so I just… Did both of them. Told Mom I’d failed to make a point, I’m perfectly fine at fucking up my life without Wuxian in it. Wait, why am I even having this conversation?”

“That backfired real fucking quick didn’t it.” Wuxian growled, he could see Jiang Cheng’s wince and the stubborn set to his shoulders.

How could his little brother be so stupid? He could have just done classes on the side, there was no need to get back at his parents. Wei Wuxian never held that against them, never! If he’d known it was all a stupid childish grudge that caused Jiang Cheng to get kicked out of the house for two years, he would have dragged him back and apologized himself.

“Shut up, I loved those classes! The only part of college that was fucking worth it. Don’t give me that look Lan Wangji, not all of us get to do what we want with our lives.”

“I did not give you a look-”

“You did, it’s the same fucking look you give me every time you see me. Like you have no fucking clue how your perfect precious Wei Ying came to be so amazing with me as a brother, like you’re disgusted with having to see me exist or fuck up-”

“I have not once-“

“Hey hey! You two stop it, both of you now. Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, can you please walk away for me?” Wuxian barked into the phone, trying to be louder than their arguing but he had no idea if either of them even remembered that he was still there.

“-give a fuck if you hate me, you’re-”

“I have never said that I-”

“He’s my fucking family and I-”

“Wei Ying is-”

“Lan Zhan! Jiang Cheng! Come on you two please stop fighting, guys I swear I will cry.” He tried again but the growling didn’t stop for even a second.

“-I don’t care! Who do think gives a damn about you-”

The call ended with a rather concerning cracking and Wuxian’s head fell directly into the cupboard. Even the pain wasn’t enough to get him to actually concentrate, what just happened?

One moment they’re getting along, and apparently bonding to the point that both of them were actually worried and now they’re screaming at each other because of a lie that wasn’t even involving Lan Zhan! A lie that was completely and utterly Wuxian’s fault for pissing off Yu Ziyuan and somehow convincing his brother to go insane by trying to tell him to not let Jin Zixun kick him around.

“Jie…” He turned to her, eyes wide and hopeful. She would be able to tell him what to do or atleast what was going on. Right?

Even Yanli looked completely taken aback, her mouth moving soundlessly. They stared at each other, both trying to figure out how to fix this.

Atleast when Wuxian had punched Jin Zixuan he’d been fourteen, not twenty eight and in public. Was this going to be a tradition? Was Yanli going to sock Jiang Cheng’s future spouse?

The front door creaked open with a soft call from Jin Zixuan and they both snapped back to themselves.

“A-Xuan, I need you to drive A-Ying to the museum. I have to keep the food from burning.” Yanli said immediately, grabbing the spoon to stir before things started to burn. Jin Zixuan’s face came around the corner looking rather like a kicked puppy at the lack of greeting.

If it wasn’t a matter of life and death, Wuxian might have actually thought it was cute. But it was so he didn’t care and simply grabbed his arm to drag him out. Yanli was too far along in her pregnancy to be running after the two so Wuxian didn’t mind going alone anyways.

“Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan got into a fight,” Wuxian finally explained as he shoved his feet into his shoes. That got Zixuan’s attention and he picked his keys up again and let himself be pulled out after a quick declaration of love towards Yanli’s stirring form.

“A fight? I mean Jiang Cheng I understand, but Wangji?” Jin Zixuan looked even more bewildered than Wuxian felt, but that didn’t stop him from freezing until he’d scowled Jin Zixuan into a mumbled apology.

“Just… Just get us there and we’ll explain everything over dinner.”

Wuxian tried to call Lan Zhan the moment he was in the car, tapping his feet anxiously against the bottom of the floor. For once, Zixuan didn’t bother to complain about it and just drove a little faster when the phone reached voicemail.

“Are you sure it was a fight? Don’t give me that look! Wanyin has a temper but he doesn’t just attack people… That aren’t you.” Zixuan amended and Wuxian hid his face behind his hands with a loud groan.

That was true, Jiang Cheng had a temper but he’d also been running Lotus LLC. for years and knew how to keep himself calm. Which meant that either Lan Zhan had said something truly unforgivable (for Jiang Cheng atleast) or Lan Zhan threw the first punch.

Wuxian couldn’t even say that it was impossible, Lan Zhan was more than a little overprotective of him. If Jiang Cheng said the wrong thing or it sounded like the wrong thing…

“Oh my god I’ve ruined my family a second time.” He said desperately, wanting nothing more than to just be home, preferably in the arms of his fiancé.

“Hey, hey, if something happens it’ll blow over eventually.” Zixuan said awkwardly before a very hesitant and flat hand patted Wuxian’s head. “Right? Family no matter what, even if you break someone’s nose, I said that before right? Remember you hated me and now you don’t.”

“Oh god Jiang Cheng’s going to break Lan Zhan’s nose and he’s going to hate the rest of my family.” Wuxian cried, pressing his hands firmer against his face so he didn’t actually start sobbing. If he was the reason why the love of his life hated his family then Wuxian would never be able to forgive himself or feel like he deserved to look at any of them.

“No- I… No you don’t hate me, and I don’t hate you and I’m making this worse.” Zixuan cursed tried to squeeze Wuxian’s shoulder comfortingly before he focused on the road, trying to figure out when he started actually caring about Wuxian and his partner.

__

Dark hair took up most of Jiang Wanyin’s vision as he blinked rapidly, the tears still pricking at his eyes. He tried to sniff but agony just shot up his nose instead and he groaned angrily.

“How bad is it?”

Lan Wangji’s hum did nothing to assuage his fears but a second later pale eyes met Jiang Wanyin’s and the man nodded.

“It’s not broken.” Lan Wangji finally said, carefully pressing a few more napkins onto the bloody mess. Jiang Wanyin swatted his hand away and moved to hold it himself, tilting his head to follow Lan Wangji’s movements to the bench beside him.

“You,” Jiang Wanyin started with a bump to Lan Wangji’s shoulder, “have a hard fucking head. Welcome to the family.”

Lan Wangji bristled like an angry bird before he blinked and realized that Jiang Wanyin was grinning at him. He was trying to be friendly.

Lan Wangji quietly reminded himself to tell Xichen just how much he appreciated having a mentally sane brother.

“I’m sorry I broke your phone.” Wangji finally said, looking down at the shattered screen in Jiang Wanyin’s hand.

“Don’t worry about it, I broke yours too when you fell on it… Wuxian’s going to have a heart attack though.”

Lan Wangji winced at the reminder, Wei Ying was incredibly attached to both of them and the last thing he’d heard was Lan Wangji headbutting his brother. Then he winced again at pain rocketing across his face, and reached up to tenderly press against the freshly bruised skin on his eye.

“Oh, right, lemme see.” Jiang Wanyin didn’t bother to wait for permission, just reached over to turn Lan Wangji’s face over.

It took every ounce of Lan Wangji’s patience not to headbutt him again, but after taking a punch to the face it really wasn’t worth it. Besides, if Wei Ying came over while Wangji was fighting his brother it would make things that much worse. He could barely fathom that not even fifteen minutes ago he and Jiang Wanyin had actually started to like each other and now they were both bruised and bloody.

“I didn’t hit hard enough to worry about cracking your skull, so you probably don’t need an X-ray, but if it stays a sharp pain I’d go in anyways, or if you can't move your eye.” Jiang Wanyin said knowledgeably, Lan Wangji wondered how he knew so much but at the same time he didn’t really care about that right now.

“Are you saying that you pulled your punch?” Lan Wangji said blankly. That punch had hurt, and Jiang Wanyin had pulled it?

“Of course I did, If I didn’t you’d be on your way to the hospital with a broken nose and a cracked eye. I grew up with Wuxian, do you really think we never got into scuffles? Got to the point, Dad signed us up for classes so we’d punch other people instead… Never stopped us though.” Jiang Wanyin said fondly, dabbing at the still bleeding nose and leaning back into the bench now that his examination was over.

“Why would you fight your brother?” Lan Wangji was aghast, of course Wei Ying had told him about some of the fights he’d gotten into when he was younger, but he’d never realized how physical he meant. He couldn’t even imagine punching Xichen, or, heaven forbid, Xichen punching him.

“Why wouldn’t I? Oh right, you were raised properly.” It didn’t sound sarcastic so Lan Wangji didn’t react. “Sometimes you just get pissed off and you have nothing else to do but to tackle your idiot brother until Jiejie comes over to help. Don’t look at me like that, Wuxian broke my arm, twice. And the second time wasn’t even my fault.”

Jiang Wanyin’s head turned toward him with an almost evil mirth.

“You got grown-up Wei Ying, I got feral Wei Wuxian. Do you know how many times that little shit would pick fights then bolt back to hide behind me when he realized he was out-sized or out-numbered? Another reason we had to take defence classes, even if we were outnumbered, if we had each other’s back we weren’t going down easy. This way we stopped coming home bloody.”

Again Lan Wangji didn’t say anything, just sat quietly and watched the park in front of them as he thought. Wei Ying had told him multiple times that Jiang Wanyin wasn’t like Xichen, they communicated differently. Lan Wangji had assumed that meant that he was probably more like Nie Mingjue but atleast Nie Mingjue could compliment Nie Huaisang to his face instead of half hearted insults.

Wei Ying said they were bonding, and they had nothing to do until Wei Ying arrived so perhaps…

“You said… You lied for him?” Wangji finally asked, wondering if it counted as an attempt at friendliness.

The laughter drained from Jiang Wanyin’s face immediately and his lip curled slightly like he wanted nothing more than to bare his teeth. If he was looking for another fight Wangji wouldn’t give in a second time, that would only hurt Wei Ying more. Yet Jiang Wanyin’s voice was soft and strained like he was forcing himself to speak and it was painful.

“Mom kicked him out after a fight with Dad. She wasn’t really mad at Wuxian but she couldn’t do anything against Dad but she knew kicking him out would hurt him. Jiejie was already living with her husband and I was off to college so she couldn’t actually do anything but yell over the phone. So when the opportunity to rub it in her face that Wuxian was the reason I was so good in classes showed up, I took it. Wanted to hurt her for hurting him.” Jiang Wanyin’s face slipped into a mask of guilt and shame, even two years out of college and the full owner of Lotus he still couldn’t believe he’d been so shitty to his mother. She’d only wanted the best for him but he wanted his family together and when one went missing he cracked the connections to the rest of them. In the end Yanli was the only one he talked to all those long years of college until the beginning of his last semester when Wuxian returned.

“Your parents cut you off?”

“Of course they did, wasn’t Mom though. She thought I was sick or just rebelling, which I was, but Dad was pissed. Still surprised he even remembered I existed once I left the house.”

“You paid for college yourself?”

“Eh? No, I got a scholarship in the first place, parents paid for my business administration degree and the school paid for my art history degree. Do you think I’d be so good at design if I couldn’t pass an art class? The extra scholarship meant I needed another year and a half of school unless I wanted to stuff it all in at the same time. Kept me out of the house long enough for that idiot to come back… Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have gone.”

Lan Wangji couldn’t stop himself from frowning as he looked at the man avoiding his gaze. He really couldn’t get a read on him, which in itself wasn’t that strange he didn’t get most people, but Jiang Wanyin had literally just told him something even Wei Ying didn’t know and Wangji still didn’t know what was going on with him.

He wanted to put Jiang Wanyin firmly in the ‘I only accept they exist when Wei Ying asks me too’ but he couldn’t help but remember the hour and a half prior when they’d been debating painting styles from the 18th century, it had been almost as much fun as speaking with Xichen over painting archetypes. Now he also knew that Jiang Wanyin hadn’t wanted Wei Ying to leave and waited for him to return to the family. As much as Wangji wanted to hate him for all the arguments between the brothers and for not fighting his mother to keep a roof over Wei Ying’s head, he couldn’t quite bring himself to feel it.

“... I..” Wangji started, mentally chanting ‘this is for Wei Ying’, “I do not hate you.”

“Oh that’s a relief.” Jiang Wanyin said sarcastically but he didn’t glare so Wangji took that as a good sign.

“Earlier… When you said no one cares about Wei Ying and I-”

“I meant the gay thing, Wuxian’s always so touchy about it like I didn’t have to share a room with him for thirteen years and hear him when he saw Nie Mingjue for the first time. I thought you were arguing about that.” Jiang Wanyin said so flippantly that Lan Wangji actually felt bad for head butting him.

“Wei Ying is not a disgrace to you or anyone else.”

“I don’t care about that. Who gives a damn about you and him?”

As Wei Ying would say: Oops.

“I see how fighting works now.” Wangji said with a nod to himself. After throwing a few punches, they were both now too tired to argue in the same way and could only listen and communicate. That made a lot of sense even if Wangji would prefer that Wei Ying never need to throw a punch ever again.

Jiang Wanyin gave him a wide eyed look before he barked out a laugh and shook his head as he stood.

“Uh Huh. Sure you do, atleast you and Zixuan will have something to bond over. Wuxian really did break his nose when we were fourteen.” Jiang Wanyin was still smiling at that and Lan Wangji realized he would never understand anyone in his husband’s family. Not really.

“... Xichen has a painting that was recently added to this museum’s collection.” Wangji said, wondering if the olive branch would be taken. They’d started arguing and debating on every painting and hadn’t even managed to get halfway through the actual museum before they’d both had the panicked realization they had started to like each other.

Jiang Cheng gave him a narrowed eye glare before he tossed the bloody napkins away and shrugged.

“Let’s go see it, who knows when Wuxian’ll show up.”

Half an hour was how long it took and Wuxian nearly screamed when he saw them.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, your face! Jiang Cheng, how could you- Chengcheng your face?!” Wuxian had gasped, holding onto Lan Wangji’s jacket and looking more horrified then the time he’d watched a documentary where the fox ate a rabbit. “You two! How could you- I cannot believe you two- Why are you both looking at me like that?”

Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji shared an amused glance, keeping quiet over Wuxian’s admonishing. Jiang Cheng passed over the drink he’d been holding to Wuxian’s hands and successfully distracted him from his staring.

“Your fiancé has good taste in coffee.” Was all Jiang Cheng said, walking toward Jin Zixuan instead and leaving the dramatics for the one who signed up for it.

“Your brother has rather interesting ideas on color theory.” Lan Wangji said to Wuxian, his lips only twitching into a more fond smile at the hand waving and bewildered look on his fiancé’s face. “We have bonded.”

“You… broke each other’s faces.” Wuxian cried, holding the drink in one hand so the other could cradle Wangji’s cheek and gently stroke over the unbruised skin. “I’m so so so sorry, Lan Zhan, I didn’t realize he’d punch you or I never would have left-”

“There’s no need for apologies,” Lan Wangji said pointedly, gently reaching up to take Wuxian’s hands and press a kiss to the fingertips, “besides, I hit first. It was a misunderstanding. It has been cleared up. I believed him to be looking down on you, he believed me to be ashamed of my relationship with another man.”

“You two.. You two are never allowed to bond again. If I wanted you to punch each other I would have sent you to Huaisang’s brother’s gym to box it out.” Despite his words, Wuxian had relaxed considerably and spared a glance over his shoulder towards his brother. “So… You don’t hate him?”

“No. I do not understand him, but I know he cares about you. That’s all I need to know.” Wangji said with another kiss to his fingertips.

“That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard… Well other than when you confessed, and when you proposed, and when you say my name and-”

Wangji shook his head, shutting him up with a kiss that Wuxian was more than happy to reciprocate.

Jiang Cheng glanced at their disgusting affection and then the very awkward looking Jin Zixuan.

“... Go ahead.” He finally said with a suffering sigh. In seconds, Jin Zixuan was in his face, carefully checking his nose. The moment they’d found out that Yanli was pregnant Zixuan had devoted himself to all forms of emergency medical training just in case anything happened to their baby. In doing that, though, had somehow unlocked his need to use that towards anyone he considered family.

“Okay it’s not broken, and Lan Wangji… I’m sure Wuxian has that handled.” Jin Zixuan said after glancing at the couple and Jiang Cheng really couldn’t blame him.

“Why are you here anyways?”

“A-Li yelled at me to drive Wei Wuxian here.” He said pathetically, like there couldn’t be anything worse in the world than Yanli yelling at him. And he was right.

“Hmm, we should probably call her and tell her that we’re not dead. I broke my phone and Lan Wangji’s.” Jiang Cheng said, holding out his hand for Jin Zixuan’s phone. Jin Zixuan looked like he didn’t trust him but a moment later he gave in and passed it over.

“Uh… I hope you two are getting along now.” Jin Zixuan said, trying for an awkward smile. “I’m glad my family is getting along.”

“You’re not good at this.” Jiang Cheng said bluntly and Jin Zixuan shook his head rapidly.

“No I’m not. Please call A-Li, the stress isn’t good for the baby, and I mean all three of us.”

“God, I hope I die alone.” Jiang Cheng sighed as he clicked on the contact and started to herd Jin Zixuan out of the gallery before the two behind them started getting handsy.

[idga-buck]

Some and Others, 3/?

Earth’s mightiest heroes save the city again, but that’s never the end of the story.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 4,301

Content: canon typical violence, death, destruction, swearing

Bucky was going to call. He just didn’t. He was surprised you hadn’t and overwhelmingly disappointed that it meant if he was going to apologize, it was a conversation he’d have to initiate himself. It could wait though. Just a little longer while he figured out what he wanted to say.

A week later, the Post ran a story about the same gossip site that had leaked your photo of him being shut down after many of their stories and photos were found to be fake. A rarity for the world of journalism these days, Sam noted casually as they stopped at a newspaper cart. Bucky bought a couple candy bars and watched the man with the thick black mustache and the gold chain slip copies of the article in front of a few of his worst sellers. Could he actually be that lucky? It was an easy out after a week of dodging questions and trying to remind the world to stay out of his business.

“So that photo of you? The secret girlfriend?” Sam waited for Bucky to respond, but when the centenarian opted to buy a Pay Day instead, he watched closer. Bucky hated that. Sam said he had a staring problem, but Sam was the one with x-Ray vision. He could read people, read a room, read Steve’s body language from across a battlefield and adjust his position without being told. As annoyed as Bucky acted when paired up with Sam Wilson, he was one of the few people in this century that Bucky Barnes respected. Truly. Except for that moment on a street corner when brown eyes were scanning his complete lack of guts and deciding what was worth commenting on.

“Yeah,” Bucky ripped open the wrapper a little too aggressively and responded with peanuts between his teeth. “It wasn’t real.”

Sam nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets while Bucky stuffed his face. “I don’t know how you land the fake girlfriend story, when I’m right here,” they started walking away from the stand while Sam jabbered on. “And lookin’ as fine as I do? Come on, man,” he danced ahead of Bucky a few steps, forcing him to look up. “You know this would make a better story.”

Before Bucky could say anything, a loud crash echoed between the buildings. Nothing was visible from their block, but both men, trained for combat, were instantly on alert.

“That for us?” Sam asked, eyeing the busy intersection.

“No,” said Bucky, a clipped tone in his voice as he shook his head and started walking again.

Another crash, this time accompanied by the faint human noises that usually follow tragedy.

“You sure about that?” Sam’s eyebrow shot up.

Sirens from every kind emergency response vehicle blared in the distance, growing louder then quieter again as they wove their way through the streets, changing directions to avoid traffic.

Bucky pointed at a passing fire truck, waiting until it had turned down another street before speaking. “See? They got it.”

Then Sam’s phone rang and Bucky swore, planting his hands on his hips while whoever was on the other line confirmed that the emergency growing in the distance was in fact for them. Sam placed the call on speaker and gave their current location. Stark’s voice was muffled and metallic, the way it usually was while calling from inside his fancy helmet, but he told them to stay put as he did a fly by with Sam’s equipment.

“Tell the Tin Man he’s got a special delivery,” Tony informed them from somewhere overhead.

“They're your wings,” Bucky grumbled, looking up from the ground as the familiar glare of Iron Man’s thrusters came into view. “And your robot.”

“First of all,” Sam informed him. “Red Wing isn’t a robot. He’s a drone.”

“It,” Bucky corrected, “is a robot.”

“I’m gonna tell him you said that,” said Sam before pointing up to where Iron Man had doubled back to get a better angle. “And… unlike some of us present, my body is exactly as God created it, flesh and bone.”

“Pop up, deep center,” Tony’s voice rang out obnoxiously through Sam’s phone once more.

Bucky watched a black bundle falling from the sky, trying to position himself under it and pushing more than one pedestrian out of his way to do so. “Actually, I was a catcher back in ‘32.”

“THEN CATCH!” Sam hollered just before the EXO Falcon gear landed square in Bucky’s chest, forcing him off his feet and onto his ass, skidding to a stop on a sidewalk while the people around them scattered, gasping and grabbing at their phones to take pictures of the two Avengers. Bucky laid flat on his back, both arms still wrapped around the bundle, and took a deep breath when Sam stood over his head, arms shooting out to his sides as he yelled “SAFE!”

Bucky groaned and tossed the black bag up into Sam’s arms, hard enough to make him stumble but not enough to knock him down. “Should have said ‘out.’” Bucky grumbled and Sam chuckled as he dug through the bag for his equipment. “Safe makes it sound like I-”

“You really wanna argue about baseball right now,” Sam laughed, securing his wings over his torso and releasing them both with a flash as if stretching before a fight. “Or are we gonna go save the world?” Bucky didn’t answer, just took off running in the direction of the screams. “That’s what I’m talking about,” said Sam to himself, shooting up into the air.

…

Robots. Drones. Whatever they, Bucky Barnes has decided that he hates them.

Fighting Nazis was easy. Not physically. Not when your gun isn’t really yours and the food sucks and you’re almost as worried about losing your toes as you are losing your team. But it made sense. These men in their wool coats wanted innocent deaths. Something in Bucky that had been there all along was born anew in the war. He was a protector. Of his sisters, of Steve, of his country. It made sense.

Nothing about Hydra made sense and the therapist he stopped seeing told him it was okay to think about those years differently than the rest. So he did.

When T’challa presented him with a black vibranium canon for his left side, the enemy was otherworldly. Literally. They didn’t bleed like men. They made horrible screeching noises when they died, but even that was different from me. They rode disgusting creatures with teeth that could have scratched his arm if he’d let them get close enough. They were invaders, their leader sought destruction on an even greater scale than the War. Bucky was a protector again, protector of Earth, of life in the universe. An unimaginable title for the boy he’d been, sitting in front of the radio with his family and marveling at the president's voice. It’s not like he was eager to do it again, but space invaders whose goal was universal genocide would be met with the business end of Bucky’s favorite rifle.

Fighting robots, however, was fucked up.

Bucky was still processing his new life, still getting used to the idea that people carried plastic cards in their wallets and could pull money out of the walls with just a few buttons. There were movie theaters with screens two stories high. Cars plugged into the sides of hotels. The cell phone in his pocket was overwhelming as is. In a few minutes, he could buy all the clothes he’d ever need, pay for dinner, and talk to people across the country. It was baffling.

All this technology, all this progress, and of course there were people who weaponized it. Bucky hated that. He remembered science fairs, remembered Howard Stark’s big promises. There was so much hope in him as a young man. He’d live to drive a flying car, his children would learn about the world through a holograms in their livingroom, his grandchildren would live on the moon. The possibilities were endless. So much so that people with horrible intentions for the world also believed that the possibilities were endless, forcing Bucky into his current position.

His thighs were wrapped around the base of a machine, arms wound near the top. He threw his shoulders back with all of his might, squeezing his legs in the process, and didn’t stop until the metal gave way. Bucky fell onto the pavement with his own momentum, the enemy in two pieces with wires exposed and frizzling as they died. He dropped the robot and rolled to his side, observing the scene around him. Steve used a cleaner approach and sent his shield flying through the air. Three more bots’ were sliced in two, the last of which was pinned by the shield into the side of a brick building. Sam circled above, with Redwing swooping below to draw laser fire away from bystanders while Wanda tried her best to herd them away, spinning to throw angry red energy at anything that came their direction.

“Sergeant Barnes!” The familiar and overly excited voice of the kid in blue and red spider gear startled Bucky. The kid swung in unexpectedly, decked out and ready to help. Bucky didn’t care that he was probably skipping school to do so and swung his vibranium arm behind him, the metal of another droid crunching under his elbow. “How can I help?”

Bucky squinted, a little dumbfounded at the question. There was a six block radius being overrun with droids, drones, robots- whatever- and people were terrified. “Pick something,” he grunted, taking the robot's head… top part, between his hands and twisting until it gave way and the bottom half dropped powerless to the ground.

Just then the sound of metal screeching pulled both their eyes to a city bus being thrown around like it was weightless, crunching the vehicles nearby, and sending more people into a frenzy as buildings were still evacuating onto the street. “That! Pick that!” Bucky commanded and the kid flew away, attached to a white string like a kite. Two more robots were approaching from the sidewalk, red eyes glowing and ready to fire. Bucky looked around the street for something, anything that he could use before deciding on a minivan. The windows looked clear, driver and passengers already scampering away at the first sign of trouble, so Bucky planted his boot into the back door and kicked. The door caved in and the vehicle flipped onto its side before skidding to a halt on the sidewalk and crushing the robots beneath it.

“Uh! MISTER BARNES, SIR, SARGE-!”

Bucky turned back to look at Peter, propped up on a light pole and leaning so far back his body was almost parallel to the ground. The only thing keeping him upright was the two thick white webs attached to the bus, one at the front and one at the back. It was tipping over dangerously low, trapping a small group of people between the bus and two buildings, one that had smoke billowing out the windows. This was a mess.

Bucky ran through the street, jumping onto the hoods of abandoned cars to avoid weaving between them before leaping off an SUV and rolling back into a run on the sidewalk. A laser struc Peter, knocking him clean off his perch, and the webs supporting the bus went dangerously slack as it started tipping toward the trapped people again. Bucky jumped, wedging himself between the building and the collapsing bus with great effort. His shoulders dug into the brick behind him and his thighs burned as he shoved the bus away from the wall, gritting his teeth as he felt it slowly start to tip away from the ground. The kid was now on the ground somewhere out of sight and Bucky had to hold back from sending the vehicle flying, lest he squash Stark’s favorite spider in the process. The tension in his legs grew as he held it steady, adjusting his feet and shoulders until he felt it wasn’t going anywhere.

“Hey!” He called out to the people below him. “Get out of here, go!”

There were rushed thank yous and lots of tears as the crowd dispersed from their trapped position. But one voice stood out among them and it made Bucky’s heart speed up.

“Bucky?! Oh my god, BUCKY!”

Bucky’s eyes were closed under the strain, but he’d know your voice anywhere. He opened them just in time to see Peter recover and zip off in a new direction. Bucky released his breath and shoved his feet out hard, tipping the bus back. He dropped from the wall and grabbed you as the bus wobbled precariously in both directions before finally falling into traffic and directly onto the roof of an empty red sports car.

Bucky hadn’t realized how tight he was holding you until you said his name again and the word was broken. His arms relaxed a bit, but you made no move to run away… or let go of his jacket. The two of you just stared at each other, breathing heavily, before screaming drew your eyes away. The small crowd of people you’d been stuck with were running away from where you stood, but the two in the back collapsed, their bodies charred and heavy as they hit the ground. You screamed then and Bucky pulled your back into his chest, hugging your stomach as you keeled over. He’d seen so much death in his hundred odd years, it was hard to witness it with these fresh eyes. You weren’t prepared to watch two innocent people’s skin melting under lasers. Hell, neither was Bucky and while you cried in his arms, the smell of burning flesh stung his eyes. He’d never get over that smell, no matter how many world wars he participated in. His face was buried in the back of your head, shushing you as he lifted you up. He took careful backwards steps until you were both hidden in the same alley you’d just been trapped in. Bucky looked up at the burning building and decided he had a minute before you were both in danger here.

“Hey,” he said softly when you went limp against his chest. “Hey now,” he repeated, spinning and almost dropping you when he realized you hadn’t just relaxed… you were unconscious. “Shit,” Bucky dropped to his knees and let your body lean up against his chest, slapping at your cheeks and calling your name to try and wake you up. Half of your face was red with blood from a wound he couldn’t see somewhere in your hair. Break up or no break up, he couldn’t leave you like this. Any other person, he’d run them to safety and double back to continue clearing the streets. But this wasn’t any person. It was the girl he dumped in the middle of a restaurant and had continuously put off calling to explain himself. He hadn’t gotten the chance to clear the air and leaving you to wake up in a few hours in the middle of a destroyed midtown was just too cruel. He did like you and now it felt like he owed you.

Bucky picked you up like a doll and slung you around to his back, crossing your arms over his chest as your legs dangled behind his knees. That wasn’t going to work, he decided after only a few steps. “Can you hold on a little-“ Bucky drifted off as he turned his face to see your face hidden behind him, your forehead limply resting against his shoulder. “Of course not,” he berated himself and stopped to adjust again. This time he stooped, grabbing one of your arms and one of your legs with his hands. You were slung over his shoulders like a backpack, the same way he carried goats in Wakanda, only much easier since you weren’t kicking or screaming and he had two hands with which to wrangle you.

His steady march out of the fray was interrupted once by Wanda. After directing pockets of people to safety, she’d sought out the source of the invasion. Bucky looked around for a safe place to stow your body and found an SUV that was abandoned but still running with the doors unlocked to lay you out across the backseat, carefully tucking your feet in before slamming the door behind him. He liked Wanda, despite not knowing what exactly she was capable of, but liked her a lot less when he found himself immersed in a glowing red forcefield and being lifted into the sky. When he was forced through the large glass window of another building only to look up and find her floating gently through the hole his body had created, she shrugged.

“This way was faster,” she said, Sokovian accent much softer than their first meeting.

“Right,” Bucky groaned, making a mental note of how many Avengers could zip through the air with ease and the odds of being the one she found on the ground.

They raced up the final set of stairs and Bucky ripped the maintenance door to the roof off its hinges. It was unlucky that Bucky and Wanda had been the ones to find the bastard responsible. If it had been Steve, he’d been bound and handed over to the authorities. Tony might have thrown him in armored vehicle and shook him around a bit before demanding answers. Bruce… depending on the day wouldn’t have been much better. Nat would have gotten answers easier than either of them and Sam was easily the most noble of the bunch, so Bucky had no idea what he’d do. The right thing, whatever that was. But Wanda wasn’t particularly fond of people who harmed innocent people. The motivation didn’t much matter to her when the sounds of children crying could be heard in the streets. Bucky didn’t have much grace for people who were smart enough to help, but broken enough to hurt. Like the bastards in Hydra, who healed him, kept him alive, gave him extraordinary strength then weaponized him. Anyone who had this level of technological advancement and chose to bring destruction with it was a waste of air. Wanda hoisted the man up into one of her angry red orbs while Bucky broke the control panel into as many pieces as he could, destroying anyone else’s opportunity to learn from this guy. Neither of them had anticipated this guy to be so well armed. It looked like a pistol, but whatever it fired managed to get through Wanda’s energy field and pierce her shoulder, breaking her focus just enough for him to drop back onto the roof. He took off running to the edge and leapt, but Wanda recovered faster, using her powers to yank him back. Bucky caught him in the air and squeezed, locking the man in a painful hold until he noticed glowing red numbers counting down behind the man’s neck. Shit.

“Bucky!” Wanda pointed at the man’s hands, wrapped threateningly around a plunger that could only mean one thing.

Without a better option, Bucky turned back to edge. He released the man and as he tried to stumble forward, Bucky’s boot landed square against his sacrum, launching the man through the air and into a neighboring building in a ball of fire. Both Avengers watched the corner offices go up in flames, disgust and horror in both their eyes.

“The whole block was evacuated,” Wanda said softly and Bucky nodded. There was a distinct lack of screaming coming from the direction of the building and sirens soon flooded the streets below as first responders made their way into critical areas. From the ledge, both of them watched as the remaining bots dropped to the ground before their team, disengaging en masse. Steve looked up from atop a bodega and saluted the sky in their general direction, lifting the shield as a second acknowledgment before jumping down to the street to start… whatever Captain America does once the threat has been neutralized. The PR and clean up stuff wasn’t Bucky’s scene and he turned away, making it all the way across the roof, still observing the scene below, before remembering that you were somewhere, either still unconscious or just waking up, deeply confused in the back of a stranger’s car.

“You okay?” Bucky asked, wanting to make sure before asking Wanda for any favors.

She pulled her hand away from her shoulder, black nail polish and red blood looking menacing and downright witchy against her pale fingers. “I’ll be alright,” she assured him, eyes already glowing red as she prepared to offer more aid.

Bucky stopped her and nodded over the side of the building. “Gimme a lift?”

She snorted and waved her fingers without looking at him and soon enough, Bucky found himself falling on his ass once again. He needed to work on his dismount if this was going to become a regular pairing. Thankfully or maybe not, you were trying to wake up as Bucky slipped into the driver’s seat and commandeered the vehicle. He turned back to watch you whine in pain as you tried to sit up, before slipping back into sleep when he told you to stay down. You were in and out for most of the drive, which helped Bucky weave up and over curbs to avoid stagnant areas where everyone had abandoned their cars out of fear.

…

You woke up with a headache, exasperated by the bright lights of the emergency room. Bucky could see the moment you came to by the hard squinting that melted into a grimace. You’d had a couple false starts, but when your eyes opened and locked on his, Bucky knew it was the real deal this time. He stood to pull back the curtain and immediately a nurse was shimmying her way into your space, brushing her chest against Bucky’s in the process. He nodded and gave her a tight smile. It had been like that since he walked into the ER with you. Avengers carrying blacked out civilians get a lot of attention, but they also get speedy service. Which is what Bucky told himself when he stuck around once you’d been admitted. You’d get better care if he stayed with you, so he did. Feet propped up on the end of your bed and dropping whenever someone came to run another test. He wasn’t family and didn’t claim to be, so they told him nothing, but nurses managed to smile flirtatiously in between doing their job. In another life, Bucky would have… done something. Anything. He smiled. He was a hundred, not dead, but there was something off putting about receiving these looks when you were asleep right there between hanging curtains in an overrun hospital as ambulances and families started to arrive from the mess he’d just left.

You answered their questions slowly, but correctly. Your name, where you were, what year it is, who the president is. The doctor would be in soon and Bucky took the minute of alone time to scoot the chair they’d brought in for him. You were watching him expectantly as the legs scraped across the floor, just a few inches before he could reach a hand out to yours. You looked down curiously at your hand in Bucky’s.

“They spelled my name wrong,” you murmured and Bucky’s eyes fluttered shut as you lifted your joined hands to observe the little plastic bracelet closer. He shook his head, wanting to apologize, but also hoping you wouldn’t connect the dots that he’d given them your information incorrectly. “Bucky?” He looked up to find your eyes wider than usual, a little more vulnerable than he was used to seeing you and wanted to do something to make you feel better. But like the entirety of your relationship, he had no idea how to do that.

“You’re okay,” he nodded, telling himself as much as he was telling you.

“Thank you,” you squeezed his fingers as your voice shook.

Just then a man in a white coat, pushed back the curtain and Bucky stood reflexively, dropping your hand in the process. He turned back and saw your face fall before crossing your arms over your chest and looking away from him.

“Sergeant Barnes,” the doctor addressed him first.

“Bucky,” he corrected without thinking and turned his body, opening up the room a bit and directing attention back to what mattered. The patient. You.

“Thank you for bringing her in,” the doctor continued, then looked back and forth between the two of you. “We’ve got it from here, if you need to-”

“He can stay,” you piped up. The doctor asked if you were sure, but you were. The doctor nodded, turning fully toward the bed and while that was Bucky’s goal, he now felt completely out of place in the tiny space.

“First things first,” the doctor started. “You and the baby are just fine, so I don’t want you worrying about that at all. Do you have a OB or a-”

Bucky stopped listening at that moment and focused on the roaring ocean in his ears. He looked to the bed where you were listening intently to what the doctor was saying, nodding and shaking your head mechanically. While he stared, you stole a glance in his direction. Your face was blank and he didn’t spend much time trying to read it.

“This sounds personal,” he said, voice flat and vibranium hand already reaching for the curtain at the end of your bed. “Take care.” Without sparing another look, Bucky walked through the busy emergency room with his left hand tucked into his front pocket, making him invisible to anyone who didn’t know he was there.

A/N: Here we go! It’s happening. I’m not sold on the way this ended but it was getting long as is and don’t worry, Bucky will have his chance to make it up to you.

Tags: @fangirl-swagg @learisa

[wormstacheangel]

Almost: Ch 6

Summary: Dean is a little too distracted by everything Cas. Even when he tells himself he has to move on and just be happy for his old best friend. But it's hard when Cas is now just a text message away again.

Read on Tumblr: Ch1 link | Ch2 link | Ch3 link | Ch4 link | Ch5 link |

Read on AO3 link (maybe leave a nice little comment?)

Word Count: 2959 More Under The Cut

“Rich people really don’t eat, huh?” Charlie said as Dean gets into the drive-through line for some burgers and shakes. She leaned forward on the seat, her head closer to Dean’s as she tried to look at the menu. “Well, at least I know what their houses look like.”

“Why did we have to leave in such a hurry anyway?” Sam was in the passenger seat also staring at the menu before he turned to Charlie. “Are you getting a chocolate one or vanilla? I’ll get the opposite of you.”

“I’ll get chocolate. You get vanilla and Dean can get the strawberry one.” Charlie decides, patting Dean’s head. “Yeah, why did we leave? Didn’t dreamy little Cas just get there?”

Dean rolls his eyes but doesn’t look back at them as they made kissing noises at him. “I won’t buy you guys shit if you keep this up.”

That shut them up pretty quickly. Good. Dean was still trying to process what was even said. Cas’s number felt like it was burning in his pocket. He felt stupid for wanting to call him already just to hear his name being said by Cas’s dumb raspy voice. Years of not hearing it really was catching up to him. 

Sam then hit Dean’s arm to grab his attention. “Dude, we’re next.”

“Oh.” He went up to the speaker and ordered whatever Charlie kept telling him to say. He wasn’t sure if he got something for himself or even how much it was, just handing his card over when he got to the window. 

Charlie and Sam must have noticed his mind was somewhere else. Lost in the tingle that still lingered on his cheek. Lost in that big bear hug that Cas gave him. The way Cas said his name, like a damn prayer, when he finally saw Dean made him feel weak in the knees and he hated it. Hated that Cas already had such a stronghold of him. 

Of course, they didn’t know that was what he was thinking about. And he’s sure as fuck not going to tell them any of that. It’s his guilty pleasure that he gets to relive in his head and their nosy asses can have none of it. 

As soon as they had their food Dean parked them in the emptier side of the parking lot before turning the car off. “Okay,” He turned towards them and took the food Sam handed him. “Dude, this is strawberry. I don’t want that shit.”

“Too bad you already agreed.” Sam held his shake away from Dean. 

“I paid so I should get first dibs.” Dean reached for it again but Sam held it back, his bitchface front and center. “Sam. Give it.”

“No. This one’s mine.” Sam opened the lid of his shake and licked the top of the ice cream. “See it’s mine now.”

Dean laughed coldly. “Like that will stop me.” Dean was about to jump his brother but Charlie, who probably was tired as shit of seeing their bickering and saw the signs that this was about to turn into an actual wrestling fight, reached forward and took the strawberry shake from Dean’s hand. Replacing it with her chocolate one.

“There. Happy?”

“No.” Not really.” The brothers both mumble as Charlie lifts her hand as a threat and even though she would never actually hit them they saw that she was annoyed. So they both quickly said, “Sorry.”

“Good.” She sat back in the seat and started unwrapping her burger. “Now can we get back to the topic on hand?”

“Which is?” Dean had a mouthful of burger as he talked. 

“Why did we leave so early?” She stuffed a few fries in her mouth as she looked at him with raised eyebrows. Looking like a curious little chipmunk as she chewed.

“Yeah,” Sam took a bite of the small yellow pepper before he bit into his burger. “I thought Cas wanted us there or whatever.”

“He did.” Dean looked down at his burger as he talked. 

“Oh, so you did talk to him!” Charlie moved forward in the seat again. She frowned at him/ “How was he? Nobody looked really sad for it being a funeral and all.”

Dean shrugged. “He seemed fine. Didn’t talk for long cause he told me to leave.”

“What?!” Both Sam and Charlie said at the same time.

“Why’d he tell you that?” Sam asked, looking at Dean with round puppy eyes, probably trying to read Dean again.

 While Charlie quickly picked up with angry steam. “And after telling you to go? What the fuck kind of-!”

“Charles. Breath.” Dean put his burger down and wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. “I guess I should tell you guys since I’m gonna have to tell Bobby soon.”

They looked at him. Waiting for answers so Dean quickly told them about the will reading he was invited to go to. Leaving them just as confused as Dean felt.

“But...but why you?”

“Shit if I know, Sammy.” Dean finished his burger off and worked on his fries, dipping them into the shake. “Cas just said Bobby and me gotta be there for it to be read or whatever.”

“What if you get money?!” Charlie hit Dean’s shoulder in excitement. 

“Doubt it. I’ll be lucky if he gives Bobby’s shop back to us.” Sam and Charlie sat back in their seats, nodding in agreement. “I feel kind of bad that a lot of people weren’t mourning and shit but...that dude was weird.”

“Creepy.” Charlie added.

“Gave me the chills.” Sam shivered. 

“Rest in peace, Chuck!” Dean added at the end, holding his spoon up in solitary. “May you give Bobby the garage and hopefully your kids won’t kill me. Salud!”

Charlie and Sam smiled, even Sam who rolled his eyes but played along, as they held their spoons up. “Salud!”

When Dean finally arrived home, dropping off Charlie and Sam first, he dragged his feet to his room. This is around the time he hated living by himself. When he comes home and the lights are all off. The air is still and cold. No warmth or sense of home even if this has been his home for the last three years. 

Dean took off his clothes as he went. Dumping it all into the chair in his room before he pulled the covers from his bed to climb inside them. He was too tired from the emotional roller coaster ride he went on the last few days. Tomorrow isn’t going to be any better so he might as well get some rest now. 

“Fuck. My phone.” Dean groaned as he kicked the covers off and dragged his feet to grab his pants. Digging into its pockets to grab his phone and then stiffening up when he felt the crumpled piece of paper.

He took it out and walked back to bed. Staring at the phone in one hand and the paper in the other. 

“Hmm,” Dean hummed as he studied the number. “So Cas did end up changing it.” Explained the dropped calls and unread text at least. 

Dean slowly added Cas’s number to his phone. He debated on having the name down as Castiel or Cas. Then he debated if he should add an emoji, just something as dumb as a ghost for ghosting him, but he decided against it. 

“Just Cas.” He whispers to himself as his thumbs hovered over the screen. His eyes narrowing at the name that haunted him for years. Cause that’s what he was, right? He was just Cas. He wasn’t even his friend anymore. At least Dean doesn’t think so. Even though he wasn’t so sure if he could be just friends with Cas, not yet, but...“Fuck it.”

He quickly opens a new text box and shoots a small little text.

‘Hey. It’s Dean.’ Dean rolled his eyes but didn’t discourage himself from adding. ‘Just wanted to make sure you had my number too.’

Dean looked at the clock on the corner of his screen and thankfully it wasn’t so late that it’ll be mistaken as a damn booty-call. Not that Dean would do that. Not to Cas at least. Maybe he’ll call somebody else for that later cause right now he feels too damn lonely and it’s just fucking suffocating him. 

He started to scroll through his list of possible hookups - not that big of a list anymore now that people are getting married and shit - when a text notification got his heart racing in his throat. He sat up against his headboard and took a calming breath. His thumb hovered over the screen because he was nervous. It’s probably just a dumb reply too and he’s making this into a big fucking deal when it’s not going to anything important.

If it’s not a big deal then open it. He tells himself before sighing and opening up the text.

‘Hello, Dean. I saved it now.’

“Of course.” Dean rolled his eyes and dropped his phone on his lap. 

His hands went up to cover his face, palms pressing hard into his eyes as his fingers grip at his hair in frustration. He was just mad -no fuck that he was annoyed- at the fact that he gave himself that dumb pep talk and he still held on to hope that maybe Cas would say...what the hell did he want Cas to say to him? 

“Hey, Dean, you looked great today so I’m leaving my fiancé for you!” Dean mimicked Cas’s voice out loud to himself. 

He groaned and picked up the phone again to just shut it off. There was no need to reply to that. The conversation was over. Clearly, the dude was busy with his damn fiancé.

But then Dean stopped short because he found the ‘...’ that kept appearing and disappearing. Damn it! He’s hoping again.

Dean kept his eyes on those dots for what felt like hours instead of the minute that it actually was. His heart beating hard against his chest as he imagined Cas trying to think of what to say. His dumb concentrated face glaring down at the phone. His too big hands holding the phone in between them and his thumbs hovering over the board. Probably overthinking his words or correcting something that just didn’t sound exactly right. Was Cas overthinking his text or was Dean just a dumbass for believing that?

Then finally the dots were replaced by words.

‘I’m sorry if Mick was bothering you earlier.’

Oh. Not what he thought Cas was gonna say at all. 

Dean straightened up against the headboard. Pulling a pillow against his chest to hug as he texted back right away. Dean wasn’t the type to wait to look cool and Cas knew that. 

‘He wasn’t.’ Dean sent first and then he rolled his eyes as he sent the next text. Nobody can tell Dean he’s anything but supportive. ��He’s a nice guy.’

Even if it fucking kills him inside. He bangs his head back against the headboard a few times.

‘Wow. That must have taken so much out of you to type out.’

Dean laughed. Of course, that bastard will know. ‘Shut up, dumbass.’

‘I’ll let Mick know you think so highly of him.’

‘Okay, I wouldn’t go that far.’

‘Is he not your idol?’ Cas sent and Dean rolled his eyes but Cas quickly sent another one. ‘Are you not practicing your accent so you can be just like him?’

‘Ha. Ha. Very funny, Cas.’

‘Thank you. Glad one of you thinks so.’

‘What? Mick not a fan of your dumb dry humor?’

Cas sent three texts back to back. ‘No.’ ‘At least I don’t think he does.’ ‘He doesn’t seem to understand when I’m being sarcastic’

‘Well, it takes a while.’

‘We’ve known each other for 5 years now.’

‘Oh.’ Dean said it out loud as well. ‘That long?’

‘Yes.’

‘Almost has us beat.’

‘…’ Dean thinks he fucked up somehow but before he can completely freak out Cas texts. ‘Mick doesn’t come close to what you and I had, Dean.’

His breath catches in his throat and Dean starts to choke on-air as he reads the text again. What the hell was he supposed to respond to that?! “Lol. Good.” Dean jokes out loud as he wrote those words down but erased them just as quickly. 

‘Sorry. I should go. Sorry to keep you up.’

Shit! No. No. Don’t go Cas. ‘No biggie. Talk to me whenever, Cas.’

‘Thank you. Goodnight, Dean.’

‘Night, Cas.’

Then - cause Cas couldn’t get any damn cuter - he sends a sleeping cat emoji along with a flower emoji. 

Something came over him. Dean can say he was possessed or something but he sends the damn heart emoji. Then before he can see Cas’s reply - if he does reply - he turns off his phone. 

“Yeah,” Dean tucks himself in his bed. Covers over his head as he closes his eyes. “I’ll deal with that in the morning.”

-

“I’m just saying,” Bobby has been just saying all the way to the lawyer’s office. “We better be getting something good if they’re making us waste another afternoon not working. Are they gonna pay our bills? No.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Just get everything out now before we get inside.” Dean tells him as he parks the car. He turns the car off as Bobby already reached to open his door. “Hopefully Chuck liked us enough to just give us the shop back. Cause as long as we own it and not them then that's good.”

“That’s all we can ask for now.” Bobby gets out of the car and quickly closes the door behind him. 

Making Dean flinch as he sighs, his head hanging for just a second before he followed Bobby out. Thankfully, because of Chuck, they got to keep the shop open as long as they have but now they’re in a solid place where they can keep it open, and if one of the Novak’s gets it...Dean was just sure they would sell the property. Their family business will be no more. 

Why else would Chuck want them here if it’s not for that?

Dean quickly caught up to Bobby, who didn’t bother to change out of his working clothes and had the damn ripped trucker cap on, before he noticed that his Uncle was walking towards someone. 

“You’re late.” Cas quickly reaches to take Dean’s hand to drag him inside the large office building as he updates them. “Gabriel is inside trying to keep the peace but don’t worry,” He turns his head to Dean and winks at him. That bastard. “We will be your buffer so you’ll be perfectly safe.”

“Buffer?” Bobby’s voice gets Dean to stop floating away into Cas’s eyes. “We’re gonna need a damn buffer? What has your Daddy gotten us into, Cas?”

“I’m sorry, Bobby. If only I knew.” They get into the elevator and Cas lets go of Dean’s hand to smooth his clothes down. Eyebrow raised as if telling him ‘Couldn’t pick anything nice to wear to this important event?’ but Dean also just came back from work. He was lucky that his damn button-up didn’t have any oil stains. But then Cas smiled, “You look nice.”

Before Dean could answer, or even think of any words, Cas moved on to Bobby. Surprisingly Bobby let Cas fuss over him. 

“The lawyer told us that all of us, including you two, had to be present in order for the will to be read.” Cas fixed Bobby’s hat and nodded before he stood in front of them, facing the door with a heavy sigh. “Hopefully you guys are ready for some fun Novak family time.”

Dean didn’t stop himself as he quickly reached to take Cas’s hand in his. He pretended not to see Cas’s eyes widen as he faced the doors as well. “As long as it’s not some big dumb elaborate joke. We’re missing work for this you know.”

“I know.” Cas squeezes his hand, smiling before he turns towards the doors as well. “I’ll take you both out for dinner after this if you like.”

Both. Dean’s heart raced even if it does sound like a date with his Uncle tagging along.

The elevator door opened and Cas quickly started pulling Dean along again. Bobby clearly was looking at them but right now Dean didn’t care as he bumped shoulders with Cas. “That sounds great. What do you have in mind?”

“Whatever Bobby wants of course.”

“I wanna get the hell out of here.”

“I was thinking more like in the realm of Biggerson’s?”

“Yeah, sure, we can do that too.”

Cas and Dean both laughed as they bumped shoulders, fingers locking together now before they stopped in front of the right door. Cas turned to smile at Dean, it was soft and reassuring but he was asking Dean something.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“If you’re sure.” Cas quickly tells him as he squeezes his hand once before letting go. 

Dean really missed that weight in his hand now. 

As soon as the door opened Cas walked through it - he easily ignored the angry glares that seemed to sting Dean frozen - and Bobby had to shove him a little for him to start walking. When the door closed Dean flinched hoping this would end soon. 

This was going to be a long meeting. But hey, Dean goes to where Cas was patting the extra seat next to him on the couch and falls beside him, at least Cas was here. 

“Now that we have everyone. Let’s get started. And please remember that security will call the police this time.”

Oh. Fuck.

[numbaoneflaya]

Can I get a list of all ur ocs?

Well anon youve done it, you made me make a list of all my major OCS in one place. I hope your happy with yourself. Under the cut for obvious reasons, may link in my blog desc later.

Modern/BTD verse!!

Jilly- Ferret beastkin little creature, was recently turned into a werewolf by vincent as well so she's running around on full moons in a wereferret wolf hybrid creature form. Chaotic and friendly and wants to be everyone's bestie. She has the most energy in the world and is very kind hearted. Banned from most Claires for stealing and from one Home Depot for climbing the shelves. Prone to living life with rose colored glasses on and seeing the best in everything/everything even when there's nothing there. Socialization is a must for her and is why being basemented/kidnapped broke her psych so quickly and developed severe stockholm. Sometimes overly talkative/enthusiastic and can scare people off. Even if she sees someone shes decided shes friends with be noticeably 'evil', will convince herself it must be for some reason/her fault and ignore it.

Ciggy- Undead punk still learning to harness his powers to interact with the world as a ghost. Was sacrificed by a cult he joined for free concert tickets and to get laid. Likes to cause problems on purpose both pre and prior death and he's not above possessing someone once he learns how to. Was called Rooster in high school before he dropped out because he's loud, obnoxious and always screaming. And also has bright red dyed hair. Looking 4 ways to become less ghosty bcs he wants to be able to help raise his infant daughter, whom he died before he could meet. Bit annoying and in your face, likes poking at bruises, his or others. Kind of a sad heart seeking attention through volume and persistence.

Mike: Vampire loser! Sells drugs and lives at raves. Was turned when she was attacked by a coked out vampire (whom she supplied the product to) and has major scarring on her face and chest. Needs a somewhat constant influx of blood so shell sometimes take victims back to her place and chain them up, slowly draining them over time. Feels bad (ish) about it tho so it is possible to survive her if you are nice and or interesting enough. Kind of desperate for a friend and for love. Is a stalker. If she likes you enough/finds you interesting, she might just appear in your house one night and start rummaging through your fridge like nothing is wrong and youve been besties for years. Its best to indulge her and be friendly, otherwise she could turn violent quickly if her feelings are hurt.

Kilaine- Regular human woman, but fucked up. Born and raised by an elite waspy society she had an interest in the human body and pain tolerance since she was young. Quickly learned that these traits were socially unacceptable in most professions, so she became a doctor. The only family she cared about was her younger sister who she lost in a car accident, where they were flipped over and trapped inside while it was afire. While her sister burned up in front of her Kilaine only lost her left arm and had major burns on her body. This tipped her descent into sadism and she is now madly obsessed with bringing her sister back no matter the cost. Rude and offstandish, clinical.

Dragon age verse!

Thurwen- My main Hero of Ferelden with a bad temper and a heart of gold. City elf from the Denerim Alienage, 18 at the start of origins. She's a reaver warrior with a lot of pent up rage which sometimes scares others when she lets it out in battle. Over the years she's grown less moody as she's had to take the role of Commander. Crude sense of humor and violent impulses, very sensitive to the plights of others and tries often to help. Never seen crying in public but only cries to herself at night- major martyr and hanged man complex.

Caz- My circle mage elf inquisitor who was an apostate before the conclave. Blood magic, but make it sneaky. Wary of strangers and new faces, always dealing with the impulse to flee/find a high vantage point. Endless curiosity about the unknown/ the forbidden/ naughty, was supposed to be made tranquil for it but she escaped. Kind of a little creature as well, lived on her own for a while as an apostate in the woods, filed her teeth down to sharp ends to make herself look more intimidating (shes 5 ft tall) and less cute (her elf ears are huge and expressive, which shes embarrassed about)

Dag and Thagna- Carta twins! Professional lyrium smugglers since birth pretty much. Raised casteless in dust town and had to work their way up the chain of command by themselves. Dag is the brother, Thagna the sister. Their father traded them to the carta for drinking money and their mom died in childbirth so they have somewhat of a codependent relationship. Both charismatic and calculating, friendly and agreeable but won't hesitate to put a dagger in your back. Hard to pin down morally or physically, squirrelly bastards.

Reila: Dalish elf who works for the inquisition/ is the inquisitor in some aus. She has an extreme fixation on elvhen history and rebuilding what they have lost. Not a people person, prefers solitude. Takes some time to warm up to shemhlen as she has a hard history with them. Good friends with Caz, who recruited her in the first place. Doesn't understand very many social cues and finds societal expectations limiting and frustrating. Fondness for halla and hooved animals, which she finds graceful.

Elder scrolls verse!

Valkya: Near seven foot nord woman whos over a thousand years old by the events of skyrim. Tall and buff, two handed warrior and compulsive hero there to bask in the spotlight save the day. She was killed at the start of the events of Elder scrolls online and had her soul ripped out and sent to coldharbor and she's just been a pain in the ass about it since then. Her body can physically die and will not regrow pieces. Her soul however will escape and teleport to the nearest source of power where her body will regrow from an aetherial plasm until its whole again. Loud and brash, friendly and jovial. Actually pretty keen especially after centuries of life but prefers to play dumb as it makes people underestimate her. Plus, she really does enjoy mud wrestling and drinking contests and acting generally like a rambunctious frat boy. Ha developed a bit of a substance problem and a problem with acting out, as after being alive so long she would turn to anything to dull the ache inside of her that never goes away.

Espira- My Dragonborn! Redguard from Hammerfell who was briefly in the Ash’abah due to killing undead while protecting her parents water farm as a child. Ran away from them after years and went to Cyrodille, then to Skyrim and was caught crossing the border. Reserved, kind and soft spoken, she's a sword and shield warrior who's committed herself to doing good in the world by helping others. Dislikes killing and anything messy but believes it is often necessary in order to protect the weak. She blacksmiths often to save money on the upkeep of her own equipment, and takes up metal jewelry working as a hobby with the excess material. Prone to trusting others too much and giving too many second chances, as shes always looking for ways to make even the most hardened criminal a second look at life.

Riley- Espiras little brother who she locked in the wardrobe during the event of the water farm attack. In preventing him from doing violence against the undead she kept him from being conscripted into the Ash’abah. He's way more chaotic than his sister, and suffers from a case of little sibling syndrome in which he will often pester/poke at people just to get a rise out of them. Still kind hearted as his sister, he tries to hide it because he believes that the world is a cruel place and the cruel survive. Despite that belief he is often still unable to force himself to be cruel/careless, only making a show of it so that others leave him alone and don't see that he's very sensitive and emotional. Deaf in one ear due to a magic mishap in his youth, he trained and enchanted his most beloved rats to live for years and sit on his shoulder, alerting him to noises he would not otherwise notice.

Felria: Evil vamp :/ chaotic evil dunmer necromancer. Small and devilish and likes dead bodies too much. Manipulative and cunning, she loves acting. She's a trained assassin for the dark brotherhood and is the speaker. Likes dressing up for missions and wearing disguises like its all a play. Loves toying with people more than she loves killing them, will act in ways that cause as much trauma as possible for other people just for fun and she finds the reactions interesting. Considers herself too far removed from most people's perception of morality and of her so it's hard for her to trust someone or see them as worthy of knowing her. Finds the psychology of grief and fear to be interesting and wants to study them first hand. The hero of kvatch.

Herren: Fifty something year old rat woman looking for something to keep her going. Ran away from her wealthy family in her youth when they wanted her to take charge of the household, instead became an infamous jewel thief and swashbuckler. Spent most of her life traveling and stealing and double dealing. She's smarmy and sarcastic, a serial romancer of the highest caliber. Bit of a show off and a hedonist, always looking for the next good party or new product to snort. Her family died off due to the hard times she wasn't there for and she keeps looking for bigger and bigger heists to fill her appetite as she's chronically bored and lonely, though wont accept intimacy and will scoff at it out of the belief she doesn't deserve it. Irresponsible and selfish, lonely and terrified of any sort of commitment. Fun to party with though!

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Ik this maybe sounds kinda random but I have a feeling you're latinoamerican Idk why.

Also what are your thoughts on the anime? I really liked the CGI I think it looked very cool and clean!! A-1 pictures did a good job 👏👏 I know it just started but I really hope its successful in japan, so maybe one day we could see Osaka and Nagoya animated :')

That’s probably because I am and am fairly vocal about it.

I live in the US and am racially pretty damn white, but my mother’s family is from Mexico. (Sorta. They’ve been in the US for a while now, and we’re not exactly sure who came across the border when because most old Mexican men can give Gentarou a run for his money when it comes to telling mentiras.) I was raised speaking both English and baby Spanish, but I lost the opportunity to practice it all that often when I was pretty little and as such forgot almost all of it, hahaha. Still, I can understand most written Spanish and a fair bit of common spoken Spanish, and I speak Spanglish with my mom. Growing up mostly white is pretty weird, since I don’t feel Latino enough to fit in with my own family (but they ARE my family) but also not white enough to fit in completely with my white peers. They don’t get how enchiladas are comfort food or how the words “mijo” and “mija” are love incarnate. They don’t get it why my parents have three bags of tortillas in their fridge at all times (it’s because I keep stealing them whenever I run out at my house) or the importance of owning a big-ass olla. It’s like... I don’t want to intrude in spaces where I don’t necessarily feel I have the right to belong, but I also want to acknowledge the struggle of my grandparents who worked as migrant farmers instead of going to school and gave up everything they had to give their kids a better life. I wonder how well I can do that, having forgotten their language and living as so much as a product of “American melting pot” culture. It’s... tricky. Identity is tricky.

Point is, I want to see Dice casually calling Otome “vieja”.

ANYWAY. Anime thoughts. I’ll put them under a cut for anyone concerned about spoilers.

The little kick the Buster Bros did in the opening on “buttobasu” (send ‘em flying) made me involuntarily laugh out loud. So dorky. Love them for that.

I was not sold on the opening back when I saw it in the previews, but I actually liked the full version quite a lot. The rap bits are a lot more impressive than the sort of generic chorus.

Love how it opened on TDD. I hope other episodes will follow suit and give more TDD backstory, because I think it delivers the best emotional impact when you know the reasons the anime boys are duking it out with one another.

TDD Samatoki has giant eyelashes even in the anime. Jesus christ.

TDD Ramuda appeared for about three seconds, and I was appeased.

The Buster Bros bit didn’t interest me too much, personally, but I thought it set the tone for the series really nicely. I also thought that a bunch of random dudes ganging up on these children and being like, “Heh heh, bitch, whatcha gonna do? We have microphones!” is hilarious.

BB rap was fantastic. I appreciated how much of a mix this was between the ARB and manga styles in terms of the way the raps appeared. Having the lyrics on screen was a GREAT thing for me as well. I also really enjoyed the moment where Saburou pushed Jirou out of the way and Ichirou stopped Jirou before he could retaliate. It wasn’t a distraction from the song at all but also characterized the familial interactions so clearly in just a few seconds. Kudos.

My VPN connection died during Ichijiku’s first talk with Otome, so idk what went on there.

I know Samatoki is supposed to be taken seriously, but for the life of me, I really can’t. I kept on snickering the whole time he was talking to the yakuza NPCs and acting tough. All his posturing is ridiculous to me.

Loved that MTC rap, although I kept laughing at that too. MTC is overkill.

I have a love/hate relationship with Samatoki’s speaker ever since I had to redraw part of that motherfucker sometime last year, but it is really damn cool looking. The animation for it blew me away. LOVED THAT.

Riou was there :)

I finally understood the significance of the cigarette kiss between Samatoki and Juuto. It’s to symbolize the whole “I scratch your back, you scratch mine” professional relationship they have, but I did think Juuto was leaning in for a kiss for a really bizarre moment.

Riou showing up to offer food :)

Eat Riou’s fucking food, Samatoki :)

I think Ramuda is a bit smaller than he should be as compared to the other cast members, but I will let it slide

Ramuda’s office is absolutely awful in color, but I will also let that slide

The Fling Posse interactions were a huge hit with me. I love seeing them hang out with one another and horse around the way that they do. Like the BBs’ scene, this was a great establishing shot for them.

I love how Dice rolls with Ramuda’s gratuitous English without missing a beat.

FP song wasn’t as hardcore as some of the other ones, but it was executed very well. Love the wordplay with the end of Ramuda’s and the beginning of Gentarou’s verse.

THE HIGH FIVE AT THE END OF THE SONG... HOO HOO!! NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, BABY! NOW THAT’S FRIENDSHIP RIGHT THERE!

Hypmic NPCs lowkey piss me off, especially all the “Kyaaa~!!!!” female NPC types. I get that they’re not supposed to be thought about all that much, but seriously...? Why is running from fangirls a plot point that keeps on being revisited?

They left Dice’s money behind... Bruh.......

Love how Doppo and Hifumi barge into Jakurai’s office nonchalantly.

The bit with the nurse establishes Hifumi’s character very well, although I still think Doppo’s being kind of an ass when he pulls Hifumi’s jacket off.

The whole fucking “terrorists on the roof” bit made me laugh again. Some of the Hypmic plot points are so contrived that I find them funny. It’s all silly good fun.

Love that rappers show up to push past the bumbling security guards/police. Excuse me, please, let me through... I’m a rapper.

Jakurai’s speaker was very well animated, but the way it appeared made me think of the Lionsgate logo. The mic animation was pretty cool too.

JAKURAI’S RAP ACTUALLY BLEW ME AWAY. I’m normally not a fan of Jakurai raps, but god DAMN was that cool.

Hifumi and Doppo didn’t drop the ball either. Fuck it UP, Matenrou.

I can’t believe they dropped lightning bolts on two people... especially when one was holding someone else hostage. Is that woman okay? Did she get fucking vaporized? I’ll never know.

Otome’s character model moves pretty stiffly, which I think actually helps her character because of how stoic she tries to act overall.

Ending song was dope. I wonder if they’ll feature other divisions in the endings of other episodes.

Ramuda leaping a good 3 meters in the air in the final shot is funny as fuck.

[knjnvrland]

Prank Wars - ch. 8

> pairing | jungkook x reader

> word count | 6.7k

> genre | college!au, fluff, smut, angst

> warnings | swearing, alcohol consumption.

> synopsis | College can be a stressful time in anyone’s life as it is, why don’t we throw a little prank war in the mix to make it harder?

> fic masterlist

> A/N | English is not my first language, I’m sorry for the eventual spelling mistake, please let me know if you find any!

CHAPTER 8 - New Year's

The end of year holidays went by fast. Alice and Yoongi went to her parent’s house for christmas, and the rest of the boys each went back to their homes, including you and your brothers. It was nice to spend a few days with your mother and having everyone home a few times a year was always motive for celebration.

It was a lot of food, some gatherings with family members you only encountered that time of year and a few good gifts amongst the terrible ones Jin and Taehyung gave you -Jin’s being kitchen supplies and Tae’s children's underwear, nudging to your most recent embarrassing moment provided by JK. Namjoon was the only brother who got it right, gifting you a couple books you were eager to read and new running shoes. Amongst all the celebrations, you barely stayed in touch with the rest of your friends, so you didn’t know that no one was excited about New Years when it was approaching.

Christmas with mom, New Year’s with dad. That’s how it always had been, ever since the separation. This year, however, your dad didn’t have plans to come home from America, instead planning a trip to Europe with his new family. The four of you, of course, were not invited. This didn’t came as a surprise, honestly, every year he would menage to royally screw up whatever it was that you planned. The crowning jewel was the year he flew everyone to Florida to spend the day at Disney but instead you commemorated the beginning of the new year stuck in traffic on the way there. He tried his best, you guessed, but it was never quite enough. 

This year he sent you your money-gifts, as always, and no explanation whatsoever about the change of plans. A couple of days before the 31st you and Joon heard your mother on the phone with him. She had planned a trip with a few of her other divorced friends to a spa near by, and would cancel it to spend the day with the four of you. You knew she would do so gladly, but it wasn’t fair, so you came up with something. You would tell her you made plans to take a trip to a ski lodge with your friends, and the four of you would just go back to university a few days sooner then you planned and spend the passage of the year together. She didn’t need to know and it didn’t really matter to you anyway, that date being wasted anyway.

So, on the 29th, the four of you, alongside Jimin who just wanted to scape earlier from his family’s infinite traditions, were driving back to campus on Jin’s old truck. Your mother had made enough food to last you until February and tried not to look excited that she didn’t have to cancel her plans, but you knew better.

She raised all of you, she deserved many years of quiet and relaxation for every few days spent all together. 

You went straight to the boy's place, as three of you lived there already and the rest not bothering going home at all, just crashing there for the next couple of days. What you didn’t expect, however, was to meet Hoseok as soon as you entered the apartment.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Hobi was laying the couch shirtless browsing his phone with the heater all the way up and loud music blaring from the tv speakers.

“I can ask you the same?” Namjoon dropped his bag by the door and went to greet his friend.

“My sister had a job thing and didn’t go home, so I just came up with an excuse as well” he explained while doing a handshake with both Taehyung and Jimin, who took their places by the older boy.

“Families, right?” Jimin hummed, grabbing the control to turn down the volume “at least we won’t spend new year’s alone”

“Speak for yourself” you reappeared from the kitchen, where you were busy helping Jin put the food away “I just want some peace and quiet, change of plans: I’m going back to the dorms” you were just about to grab your bag when Tae stood up and ran towards you, hugging your back and lifting you up to turn you to face the other way.

“No no no, sis, you have to stay here” he wouldn’t let go of you and you hated to admit that Jin dragging his ass to the gym must have started to have some effect “it’s been too long since we had some quality family time”

“I just spent an entire week with you!” You protested, still trying to set yourself free “and I literally see you guys everyday!”

“Please, y/n-ah” Jimin pleaded from his place on the sofa. You rolled your eyes and stopped struggling.

“Fine.” You huffed “but if I’m left to do the dishes alone I’m a hundred per cent not talking to any of you until classes start” Tae letted you go and you dropped back your bag, walking to sit in the middle of Hoseok and Jimin on the couch.

“Nice, now that we’re settled, what should we do?” Namjoon was way too excited for this.

The next day you woke up with loud talking in the living room, and amongst the voices you were hearing, there were a few you were not expecting.

You took a look around Namjoon’s room and saw that he was nowhere near, probably letting you sleep late since you were the last one to fall asleep last night, staying up with Taehyung like when you were teens. You were about to fall asleep on the couch when Namjoon woke up to go to the bathroom and told you to lay on his bed, and you fell asleep playing with his fingers like you always did when you were a kid in need of your older brother's protection against a monster under the bed. And now you could smell Jin’s pancakes, the one’s with cinnamon and butter he did on special no-school days and had you already in a great mood. This was already the best end of the year you had had in a long time.

You could tell, as soon as you left the warmth of the bed, that the day was specially cold, and when you opened the curtains you were surprised with the sight of snow falling down. You ran out of the room to let your current house mates know and was greeted by everyone, including Yoongi, Alice and Jungkook, all gathered in the living room looking outside at the snow filled balcony.

“Maybe if I’m fast it won’t make that big of a mess” Namjoon thought out loud.

“You always make a mess” Yoongi stated, hugging Alice closer to him.

“but I have to get them!” Your brother pointed at his plants, all slowly being covered by the frosty weather.

“Hey, sleeping beauty” Jimin was the first no notice you “I’m glad to see you awake” he came your way and you instinctively opened your arms to be embraced by him.

“What's going on?” You let go of him to go and hug Alice and Yoongi, staying in the middle of the two and just nodding Jungkook’s way, acknowledging his presence. 

“We’re stuck here.” Tae was the one who answered you. He was sitting on the floor, distracted drawing faces in the fogged up window.

“What?” You turned to Namjoon and Jin, hoping for a better explanation, but it was Yoongi who answered.

“We got snowed in, the news are warning people to get out of the roads and stay in” you looked at him and he shook his shoulders as if saying ‘what can we do?’

“But what are you doing here” you pointed between the couple and a second later pointed towards Jungkook as well.

“We were just passing by to go to Yoongi’s for the rest of the break” Alice explained “the warnings began when we were close to town, so we just decided to stop here. The boy’s place was closer so we called Hobi to ask him if we could crash here a couple hours” Alice winked at your friend who agreed with his head “and as soon as we got here it got worse and now we’re stuck.” She finished, but then pointed at Jungkook “i don’t know what he’s doing here.”

“He came by earlier” Jin pointed out, coming back with a couple of cups of warm coffee, handing one to you, which you took gladly “he never left town” Jungkook gave a nod, confirming the eldest story, but didn’t add anything, instead nudging Taehyung in front of him to get up and go with him to the kitchen.

You caught Jin and Yoongi sharing a look as soon as the youngest boys left, but it didn’t last long “it’s going to be crowded, but we can menage” your brother stated, and motioned everyone to go to the kitchen as well “breakfast is ready, who’s hungry?”

The second to last day of the year was spent with a lot of chatter and bickering. Your brother’s apartment was big enough for your weekly get togethers, but once all of you had to share the space for more then a couple of hours it got chaotic. Jin would be yelling at someone every couple of minutes about something, and him, Alice and Yoongi ended up stuck at the kitchen for almost the entire day, heating up food or cooking some more for the rest. You and Hoseok would help by every now and then but, admittedly, not in a significant way. The maknaes tried to help out filling up a couple of air mattresses Taehyung had -why he had them no one knew, but after that they did pretty much nothing. Namjoon managed to grab his smallest plants from the balcony and, of course, made a mess as expected, so a good hour of your afternoon was spent cleaning up after him. But after everything, all of you gathered on the floor around the coffee table to eat dinner as the makeshift family you were.

“Can you pass me the ketchup?” Hoseok pointed at the bottle next to you and you grabbed it to give it to him, but Jimin was faster and took it from you “hey!” The older boy complained, but to no avail, as the sauce was then passed to everyone on the table first before getting to him “you’re idiots” he said, when it finally got to him.

“We should play a game later” Alice suggested.

“No thanks” was the answer her boyfriend gave her, finishing up his food and standing up to ego to the kitchen.

“C’mon! It will be fun! I found some board games at Namjoon’s room when I went to shower!” Your brother glared at her but she pretended she didn’t see it.

“I'm down” Taehyung was the first to agree “I’m bored as fuck and there’s no one online to game with” Alice high fived him and eyed the rest of you expectantly. 

Jungkook stood up to also take his dishes to the kitchen and halfway there turned around “I’ll pass” he was in a weird mood all day and, although he participated and wasn’t that closed off, you could tell his chipper disposition was missing. 

“I guess I’ll play as well then” Jimin stole the final sip from your cup and stood up, grabbing your plate as well as his.

“Thank you” you smiled at him and turned to your friends “I guess it can be fun..” Hoseok rolled his eyes but nodded as well, and Jin gave you a thumbs up.

You settled on a game of monopoly -that you lost by a big margin on the two rounds you played. Alice winning the first one and Jin the second. You were smart with money in real life but apparently as soon as you got rich on the game you got cocky and lost it all. Taehyung and Jimin weren’t so chill about losing, specially when you settled that last places would do the dishes. Namjoon and Hoseok, staying in the middle, managed to scape, and settled in front of the tv to play a few rounds of Mario Bros once everyone got annoyed with the board game.

While you were playing Yoongi stayed at the sofa on his computer with his headphones turned so loud you could distinguish the music coming from it as the one’s he was working on, and Jungkook hid away in Namjoon’s room. At first he just went there to shower, but he never got back and everyone must have sensed that there was something off, since no one went after him and just letted him be. 

It was almost 1am when you were done with the cleaning up, Jimin bailing half an hour ago and leaving you and your sibling to finish up. Taehyung went straight to his room to shower and get some sleep -at least that’s what he said, but he was always a night owl and you were sure he would be back to play his videogame a little in no time. Alice and Yoongi took one of the air mattresses to Jimin’s room and you guessed the three of them must already be out as there were no noises coming from his door. Jin was still on the couch, but you could see he was dozing off, so you nudged him to go to bed. He had slept with Tae on his bed the night before, but the younger had the habit of curling himself around whoever he was sleeping with and Jin hated it, so he took the other air mattress this time. Hoseok and Namjoon were also nowhere in sight, so you assumed you were the last one standing and made your way to Joon’s room. As soon as you opened the door you could hear his shower running, that wouldn’t be a problem, you could sleep through almost anything, but this time your place on the bed was already taken by a sleeping Jungkook.

You’ve forgotten for a second he had been hiding there the whole night and seeing him fast asleep you didn’t have the guts to wake him, so you turned around and decided to take the couch. You stayed awake for a little longer, reading a book you borrowed from Namjoon, waiting to see if Tae would be back, but he never was, so you turned out all the lights and made yourself comfortable in the sofa. You dozed off watching the snow fall outside, too lazy to stand up and close the curtains.

It must’ve been the middle of the night when you were woken up by an unwanted presence scooting beside you on the couch.

“Hey what are you doing?” You whispered to the body next to you

“Namjoon hyung is too warm” Jungkook murmured, barely awake, you noticed “and he snores” you chuckled and gave him a little more space.

The both of you stayed silent for a while, uncomfortably trying to keep your distance from each other even in the small space. Jungkook wiggled around and it was starting to annoy you. You turned to your side and pulled his arm over the small of your waist, making him turn as well and spoon you. He froze in place.

“Kookie, it’s okay, I just want to sleep” you could feel his breath on the back of your head getting back to normal. He stopped wiggling and got a little bit closer, touching his chest on your back.

“I like this” he whispered, before falling asleep. You liked it too, but you weren’t sure if you liked it because before he got here you were feeling a little bit cold and his body next to yours gave you the extra warmth you didn’t know you were missing, or if you liked it because the person next to you was who it was. You tried not to think about it and just fell asleep again.

The next morning you woke up in the same position you fell asleep, facing the sofa with Jungkook all wrapped up around you. It was pretty early and everyone else was still sleeping. You started to move a bit, to see if he would wake up as well, but it didn’t really work.

“Hey” you turned your head as far as you could, and saw his face just a few centimeters away from yours. His bangs were getting long and almost covered his eyes entirely. You moved your body a bit again, and he frowned in his sleep before hugging you closer to him and hiding his forehead on your shoulders. “Wake up, I have to pee” you whined and he chuckled, not giving any other signs he would move. “Dude, please” you tried to untangle yourself from him, but he just held you closer. You got tired of his antics and just stopped moving for a bit, as soon as you felt him relax you pushed yourself as hard as you could and, consequently, him. He fell to the ground with a sound thud but, weirdly, started laughing.

“You’re stronger then you look” he supported himself on his elbows and smiled up at you. You tried to ignore the weird thing your heart did and just stood up, walking towards the bathroom on the hallway.

“Take that as a warning not to mess with me” you said, not looking back. Jungkook laid back on the floor and closed his eyes, opening them again only when he heard you flush.

“I could really use a coffee right now” he said, walking towards the kitchen.

“Same” you went after him and the two of you started preparing breakfast.

It was supposed to be only coffee and toast, but then you were craving the pancakes he made you when you stayed over at his place, and you searched the kitchen for the ingredients. While doing so you found a few pieces of bacon on the back of the fridge and Jungkook gave you the idea of adding bacon and eggs to your toasts. Before you could notice you were making a full breakfast and the smell was invading every inch of the apartment.

“That’s something I like to wake up to” Hoseok anchored in the counter to steal a strip of bacon “please move in” 

You chuckled and made him a plate, soon enough the rest of your friends were all in the kitchen as well, in various stages of awakeness. Namjoon and Jimin were put together, having already showered and changed. Yoongi and Taehyung were half asleep, eating mindless not really paying attention to anything else. Jin was way too awake, cracking jokes about how Jungkook and you learned everything you knew from him and should come help at the cafe. Alice was on the phone with her mother, explaining why you never made it to Yoongi’s. 

Once breakfast was over, everyone scattered to do their own things. You went to Namjoon’s room to take a shower, as the other bathrooms were already taken, and once you came out only Jimin and Jin were at the living room, playing a game you didn’t know.

“Where’s everybody?” Both of them shrugged, not looking at you. You were going to ask again, but came to the conclusion it didn’t matter. You were all still stuck in and, by the sight of the snow falling outside, would be for a little while longer. So you took a place besides Jimin and extended your legs to his lap, grabbing your phone and scrolling mindless.

A few hours went by and every now and again someone would show up, hang for a little and then disappear again into one of the rooms. Everyone ate a lot and had breakfast late, so no one mentioned lunch, but once the sun started to set Taehyung came to find Jin and complain he was hungry again.

“Let’s just heat up mom’s food, it should be enough to feed everyone” Jin didn’t mind shifting his attention from the tv. From the looks of it, a couple more hours and they would beat the game. “y/n, can you do it?” You rolled your eyes but stood up, walking towards the kitchen with Tae right behind you.

“You’re giving me free breakfast for a week” you teased Jin, but he didn’t even budge.

“You wish”.

You found a couple of your mother’s foods and kept your brother as far of everything as possible. Even if Taehyung wasn’t as clumsy as Namjoon, he was still a mess at the kitchen and you wanted to spare yourself the extra work, so it was easier to keep him at bay. At some point Yoongi resurfaced from Jimin’s room and joined you at the kitchen, helping out where he could. Dinner was just finished when all the lights went down and you heard a couple of scrams, distinguishing Jin’s and Jimin’s swears.

Yoongi turned on his flashlight and Taehyung did the same, you left your phone charging so you didn’t have it with you.

“What happened?” Yoongi went to the counter to look at the living room, where you could make a few shadow moving. Alice came from the hallway with her flashlight turned on as well and illuminated the two boys in the couch, completely defeated.

“We were at the final boss” Jimin whined, covering his face with his hands.

“There was no save” Jin added, his body melting into the cushions.

“You’re so dramatic” even if you couldn’t see, you were sure Alice was rolling her eyes at them.

Namjoon and Jungkook emerged from their hiding spots as well.

“Is everyone okay?” Namjoon asked, turning his light around the room to find everybody. You all nodded. “Ok, the power must’ve gone off, it will probably come back soon.”

Jungkook walked to the window to check outside and the buildings and houses in the neighborhood also had their lights out. “I don’t know hyung, it’s pretty dark out there”.

Beside you, Taehyung was browsing the internet to see if he found anything about it, but to no avail. “We just have to wait it out, I’m gonna check on Hobi” he walked out of the kitchen and you looked back at Yoongi, who had put his phone down with the light turned to the ceiling and was opening the oven to check on the food. 

“It’s not boiling hot but it’s cooked, at least we can eat” he took it out and the smell attracted the ones on the living room to come close.

Taehyung came back with Hoseok and everyone set their phones with the lights up so you could at least see what you were eating. 

More than an hour went by and everyone had finished their dinners, but the light was still out. Taehyung’s phone had run out of battery already and the rest of you were taking turns keeping the flashlights on so it would last for as long as possible. Hoseok and Namjoon both had candles in their rooms but keeping them on did not turn out good when the scents started mixing, so you just kept one in the middle of the coffee table so no one would trip.

“I’m bored” Jin whined, lying on the floor by the tv. Everyone agreed, all the conversation topics had come to an end and for the past twenty minutes it was a weird, although comfortable, silence.

Suddenly, Jimin stood up, grabbing Taehyung by the hem of his sweater to follow him. Both boys disappeared into a room and came back minutes later carrying six bottles of whine. “Let’s have a drinking game” Jimin exclaimed, excited.

“How the fuck do you keep so much alcohol in your room?” Hoseok asked, amazed “not that I’m complaining, I’m in”

Everyone else agreed and Namjoon went to pick a deck of cards so you could play around with.

The first couple of games made you empty half the bottles already “Chim, I don’t think those would be enough” you were a little bit tipsy already, but could tell half your friends were still pretty sober, and it would take a lot to get them drunk. Jimin rolled his eyes and stood up, his cheeks were a little flushed, but he didn’t lose his balance at all, so you guessed he was part of the sober ones.

“You’re all paying me back later” he sent to his room and came back with a bottle of tequila. Everyone cheered and someone, you’re not sure who, suggested that you played Truth or Dare.

After making Hoseok drink a spoon full of mustard, Jin to go outside into the snowy balcony shirtless and dance, discovering that Tae had sex with girls back at your place in Joon’s bed and then making him chug half a bottle of wine, and Yoongi giving Jimin a pack on the lips, as well as a few other misadventures you couldn’t remember, you were certain everyone was far gone now. That’s when, for the first time, the bottle landed on you.

“Y/n, truth or dare?” It was Taehyung’s time to ask and you knew he was eager to have his revenge, as the ‘chugging half the bottle’ was your suggestion. You wouldn’t give him the pleasure of saying dare.

“Truth” you smiled triumphantly, but his smile grew as well, and you knew you’ve fucked up.

“Who was your first kiss?” Oh the betrayal. He was the only one of your siblings who knew the answer and that has been a well kept secret since it happened when you were sixteen, even with your elder brother constantly bothering you about it.

Your eyes went big and your siblings started laughing hysterically. You had just decided to drink instead of answering, bringing your cup to your lips and turning your head back, when you heard Jimin, sitting across from you “It was me” you choked and Taehyung laughed harder, everyone else following along.

“Yah! What the fuck?” Jin screamed at him, but you could hear the humor in his voice in between your coughs. Alice who was beside you tapped your back while Hobi filled back your cup.

“I have to hear this story” Hobi turned to fill Jimin’s cup as well, and you finally looked at his face, not sure if the blushing was from the alcohol or the secret finally being spilled. He was looking back at you, searching for confirmation, and you nodded your head slightly, knowing it was easier to get it over with while everyone was drunk, maybe they wouldn’t remember it the next day.

“It was at Tae’s 16th birthday” he began “we were playing never have I ever when a couple of our friends began making fun of y/n because she never drank” 

You remembered that night. You were fourteen and your parents had just finished their divorce, even if your dad had moved out more then a year previous. Jin was already at uni and Namjoon was on a trip with a girlfriend he had at the time. Your mother let Taehyung have his party at home as long as he took care of you there and cleaned it all the next day, and went to stay at your grandma’s for the night. The first thing your brother did when you were alone was raid your mother’s liquor cabinet, and that was the first time you would drink. At first you just took sips of your brother’s cup, but then someone gave you one all to yourself. You didn’t drink enough to get drunk, not really enjoying the taste, but all of his friends were just fine enjoying as much as they could the free alcohol. When it was time to play, you were pretty much the only one sober, and also the youngest there. A few people noticed you weren’t drinking, not having done much of what they were suggesting and started to feel bad. Then they started making questions directed at you, lowering the riskiness until the question “never have I ever kissed someone” came up. And you didn’t drink. That’s when the making fun really got to you. They all laughed and so did Taehyung. You didn’t get along at all by then, and he was going through a rebellious phase, so he was of no help. So when you started to tear up and ran away to your room crying, it was Jimin who came to find you.

“Y/n? Can I come in?” He knocked on the door before opening and showing his head, searching for you and finding you hiding under your covers on the bed. You didn’t answer, so he walked in, closing the door after. “They’re assholes, don’t mind what they said” he took a sit by the edge and you pulled your head out of the protection blanket you created. He was specially pretty that night. Your brother and him had dyed their hairs for the first time the month before, Tae’s was a faded orange now and Jimin’s was a faded blue, with the roots starting to show. He was wearing black from head to toe and the earrings you gave him on his birthday.

“I’m so ashamed” you pouted at him, with tears prickling the back of your eyes.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of” he passed his hand through your hair “It’s just a kiss, half of the people their were lying about what they did anyway, don’t pay them attention” he smiled at you and you smiled back on instinct. Truth be told you had a small crush on him. He had always been kind to you, specially when your brother wasn’t, and he always made sure to include you and be by your side when you were left out.

“I’m gonna die alone” you covered back your head, realizing he was way out of your league and you’d probably never find someone you liked as much as you liked him as so you would never be kiss and never have sex and never get married and- you heard him chuckle.

“No you’re not” he pulled back the covers “you’re just being dramatic” he was looking at your soul and you felt like he had read your mind and knew all your deepest secrets. You sniffed and a tear slipped, he dried it before it could even reach your cheek, but instead of breaking the touch, he just kept his hand on your face and started to lean in closer. It wasn’t a deep passionate kiss, just a small one. Once you felt his lips on yours you immediately kissed him back. The butterflies were there, but barely. You liked him, sure, but you expected… more? He was the one who broke the contact. “There, now you’ve been kissed” his smile never wavered, always bright and kind. 

“Thank you” you whispered and smiled shyly “you should go back out there” he stood up and extended his hand to you.

“Only if you come with me” you accepted it and went back to the party.

No one had noticed you were back, having moved on from the game. The music was loud and there were a bunch of drunk teens in your living room. Jimin invited you to dance and so you did all the way through morning.

“That’s so cute???” Alice gushed beside you, raising her glass “a toast to Jimin, who’s better then us all!” But no one followed her, so she just chugged back her drink “Love is dead and you’re all hopeless” she whined.

Namjoon slapped Taehyung on the back of his neck “you’re an asshole”

“I was an asshole” he corrected, fixing his hair.

“I ship it” it was Hoseok’s turn to embarrass you, apparently. “what should we call you? MiniMini? You’re both pretty small after all…”

“No one’s shipping anything” Jin turned back his drink as well “and please no more kissing my sister”

From the corner of your eyes you noticed Jungkook gulp, but apparently you were the only one. “Who’s next?” He said, probably trying to change subjects as fast as possible, so Yoongi turned the bottle and the game continued through the night.

The lights never came back and when Namjoon’s phone died, leaving only yours still working, everyone decided to call it a night. You were all pretty drunk anyway, Alice and Tae had fallen asleep hours ago, and the rest of the boys helped them get to bed. Once everyone had retreated to their rooms, you were left to clean a bit, knowing you’d have to sleep on the sofa again. When you were back from cleaning the cups in the dark, you got back to the living room to see that Jungkook had turned the couch towards the window and had opened the curtains, and was just sitting there, barely lit up by the moon outside. 

The town was really pretty, all snowed in with the moon finally back as the skies had cleared up. You took a sit beside him and the both of you stood there quietly.

“I guess we’ll be free by tomorrow” he was the one who broke the silence.

“Yeah, I think so” and you were quiet again. You could tell he wanted to say something. A few minutes went by before he spoke again.

“Do you like Jimin?” You couldn’t help but laugh. “What? It’s a fair question!” He defended himself of your reaction.

“No Kookie, I don’t like Jimin” you turned to him and saw his ears turning red. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know” he turned away from you “you’re always kind to him… And you hug a lot.” He was embarrassed and you could tell. You had never seen Jungkook like that.

“It’s because he’s always kind to me too” you turned to the window as well.

“Yeah, he’s like that” Jungkook chuckled to himself, realizing how silly he was being. It was quiet again.

Suddenly, at the distance, fireworks started to go off. It went on for a while and you just watched, not saying anything.

“It’s probably new year’s” you finally spoke, still watching the party probably happening on the other side of town “I almost forgot it was today”

“It’s honestly the best new year I had in a while” Jungkook said quietly.

“Same here” you whispered “why didn’t you go home for Christmas?” You finally asked what’s been bothering you since the day before. Jin had told you that Jungkook didn’t have a nice relationship with his family, but when you started to ask more questions he refused to answer you. You found it odd, your brother always being the one you turned to for gossip, so you assumed it was something serious.

Jungkook took a deep breath before answering “I was not up for the drama this year” you turned to him, finally, but he didn’t turn too. Jungkook knew you wanted more, but he was no willing to ruin a pretty fun night with that story “I’ll tell you some other time”. He finally turned your way.

“But are you okay?” You wondered and pondered for a second before nodding his head slightly. You turned back to watch a new set of fireworks that had just begun.

The light on your phone turned off and you picked it up to see it was finally dead. “It’s gone” you sighted. I hope the power comes back by morning” you turned to Jungkook and found him already staring at you.

He scooted closer and you kept staring back at him. He then closed the distance and gave you a peck on the lips. It was really soft and lasted only a second.

“What was that for?” You whispered, not really bothered by the action, but amused.

“New year’s kiss” he smiled with fake innocence all over his face. It was late, you were still a bit drunk, the view from the city was pretty and there were fireworks happening as far as you could see, so you decided to let it slide, just for today.

“Okay” and you kissed him this time. He deepened the kiss before braking it again.

“I like when you call me Kookie” you looked at him puzzled “You called me Kookie last night and again today, I liked it” you smiled at him and pecked his lips again.

“Okay, Kookie.”

And the two of you stayed there, alternating between stealing kisses and watching the night until the sky started to get clear. You don’t remember falling asleep. Amidst the stolen kisses and the soft questions and the unspoken answers, at some point you fell out of consciousness, held by his arms and smelling his scent.

The next morning, you woke up alone. 

The sound of begs being dragged and chatter at the kitchen woke you up. Before anything else, someone extended you a cup of coffee, and you thanked Joon for doing so.

“What’s going on?” Your voice was still hoarse from sleeping, and you didn’t feel so well. It was probably colder then you remembered last night, and you’d probably catch a cold.

“They cleared the roads, Alice and Yoongi hyung are leaving to spend the last days of break with his family” he explained, sitting beside you and sipping on his on coffee. You sniffed and you brother pulled on the blanket you don’t remember getting last night “Jin hyung went out early today to get food and check on the shop and found you here, you fell asleep without a blanket” he explained.

“Is he back?” He then pointed at the kitchen, where although you couldn’t hear, you could see Jin waving his arms around, probably complaining about something the younger guys did.

“Taehyung’s the only one out, he said he was feeling claustrophobic and went for a walk” he rolled his eyes. It was still snowing outside, granted it was minimum compared to the last couple of days, but still “I’ll be pissed if I have to take care of the both of you sicko’s” he played around, giving your shoulder a nudge with his own. “Oh, and no one knows where Jungkook is” he added and you turned to him.

“What do you mean?” You tried to keep you cool but you were really curious. 

“He didn’t sleep here. He had slept in my bed before, but not last night” he took another sip of his coffee “didn’t sleep in anyone else’s room as well, didn’t you see him leave?”

You shook your head. He didn’t ask you if you knew where he slept, so you left that part out, and you really didn’t see him when he got out. “Did someone tried to call him?”

“Yeah, everyone did but he’s not picking up. Yoongi will drop by his place before going out and will check on him, we’ll try no to worry until then” he picked up your now empty mug and stood up.

You said your goodbyes to the couple before they went out and half an hour later Yoongi texted the group chat saying that JK was safely home, he was just asleep and never saw the calls because his phone was off. You knew Jungkook never turned off his phone before going to bed, so that was probably a lie, but you letted it slide, you would ask him later anyway.

You spent the next couple of days at the boy’s apartment, but eventually returned to the dorms. Jungkook never showed up again, and didn’t answer any of you calls or texts. It annoyed you to no end and also freaked you out a little bit. He probably regretted everything and the both of you crossed a line you shouldn’t have. There were still a few days before classes began again, but you stopped trying to contact him, deciding to catch up on some reading and help Jin out at the cafe when he reopened it, seeing as Rhina still wasn’t back and he could use a hand there.

You tried not to think about Jungkook, and for the most part you could, but he would still creep his way back into your mind a few times a day.

> A/N | Did you love the fluff? Because I loved writing it. At this point everyone has been so into all the tooth rotting stuff I'm almost afraid to bring in the angst, please don't kill me when I do haha I was going to wait until tomorrow to update but I think everyone can use a little distraction from the countdown to comeback (I know I can!), so I hope this helps a little. Next update will probably take a while longer because the chapters are getting longer and it's getting harder for me to write because of my university schedule, I hope you can understand. Have a nice day, wherever and whoever you are :)

TAGLIST | @w1tchcraftt @girlwiththeglittereyeliner @teresaisla @nctssidehoe @kawaiimusiccollection​ @nininek12​ @livewittykid​ @namjoonsslutakakoreanmanswhore​ @planhtarxhs​ @rjsmochii​ @chogiyeol-utopia​

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Messy After Story

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, ANGST

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: really sad fucking shit, talks about suicide attempts, drug addiction, alcoholism, talks about death, jealousy and insecurities

Features: contraceptives, smidge of a size kink, grinding, face riding & face fucking, sex tapes, choking, sex toys, anal fingering/fucking, thigh grinding, double penetration, creampies, rough fucking, trying some new shit and being kinda awkward and weird but also having some kind of slutty conversations

Word Count: 17.6k

A/N: ok this is the last one I promise😉 this is really fucking angsty and I teared up at some parts writing it so sorry in advance. Also there's a lot of smut. Like 6.5k worth of smut/smutty conversations. Also, i’m going to edit this in a little while so don’t @ me if you see mistakes. I’m gonna fix them probs tomorrow. I’m just tired.

Messy Masterlist  Other Stories   Johnny Only Masterlist

I didn't talk to him. For weeks. I couldn't. I was so angry. So hurt. So devastated. He didn't tell me where he applied to, must have been because he was running around so much for his gallery and all that shit. But a fucking heads up would have been nice. I didn't see him off at the airport. I tossed his shit in a box and kicked it to the back of my closet. I cried. I screamed. And at last it wasn't anger anymore. It was hurt. It was pain. It was missing him every. Single. Night. The pain was beginning to swallow me whole and I had no idea what else I should do, or could do. He was halfway across the country and I wasn't in his arms anymore. My pillows were tear stained, my floor covered in snot filled tissues, leftover wrappers, and dirty clothes. Everything was harder without him.

I sat cross legged in the middle of my bed as I chewed on my thumbnail and stared at my phone in front of me. I had reopened all the unanswered texts he had sent me. The "baby, please talk to me," the "baby, I'm sorry," the "princess, daddy needs you. Please." I couldn't cope enough to give him an answer. But now...now I felt too empty. I snatched my phone and dialed his number. My heart pounded so hard in my chest that I could feel the blood rushing to my ears. It went to voicemail. I dropped my phone and covered my face, preparing for another round of tears. My phone vibrated against my leg and I saw his number flash across the screen. I answered it instantly and for the first time in a long time I heard his sweet deep voice. It felt like a warm blanket had been wrapped around me and I sighed.

"Eri." He said sharply.

The blanket disappeared. "H-hi…"

I heard him chewing on something then swallowing. "What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"Why are you calling me?"

"I can call my boyfriend, can't i?"

"Am I your boyfriend?" The questioned stunned me. Of course he was. Why wouldn't he be? We didn't break up we just…

"Y-yes?" My voice trembled. "Yes. Yes, you are."

"Hmm." He chewed again. "Didn't feel like I was."

"I was...upset."

"Yeah, no shit."

I wanted to fucking cry. He didn't even seem to care at all. "I m-miss you. A lot. And I...I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Oh, now you want to?" I heard him cover the phone and call out to someone, though it was all muffled. "You can do it only at your convenience?"

"I just want to see you. Can I see you?"

"You're gonna fly here? And who's gonna pay for that shit? You're gonna make Quinn do it?"

The tears started to fall again, as quick as a waterfall in a rainforest. "N-n-no. I can do-do it on my own. Do you want me t-there?"

"You're crying."

I stopped talking for a moment, knowing that my voice was going to jump a few octaves and turn into an indecipherable squeak.

"Eri."

"Y-yeah?" I sniffled and wiped my nose with my shirt sleeve. Now it was his turn to stay quiet, save for his fucking chewing. "What in God's name are you eating right now?"

"Shrooms." He swallowed.

What? Like…? "You mean-?"

"Yeah, so anyway, I don't know if you should come here, you know? Seeing as how you didn't talk to me for basically a month and now you're thinking it's okay to call me in the middle of a party and make me feel a bunch of shit. That's pretty cool right? That's pretty fun, right? I'm gonna hang up now."

The line went silent and so did my entire world.

--

I pretended to smile when I was around Quinn. I pretended that I was supportive of Johnny and so happy for him. I only cried when they were over at Jae's house. I hadn't let them in my room and see what a disaster it was. It was closed at all times. I tried my best to keep up my facade and hoped that Johnny had too. If Jae knew anything it would fuck everything up and all would have been for naught. I didn't know how to ask him or if I really even should. Maybe I was keeping up this glamour for myself. So I could pretend that everything was fine and lie to myself instead of Quinn. Maybe it was all for the sake of my sanity.

I had found a slightly better job and quit the Italian restaurant. This one paid more and all I had to do was sit as a desk and listen to people complain about their orders and why it wasn't there on time. It was annoying to take so many calls a day and even worse for my fucking mood disorder. Hearing these people whine fucking drove me up the wall and I chain smoked every lunch break to try and keep it together. I couldn't lose this job. Because it paid so much more than I was used to I was finally able to set money aside. My savings account was looking pretty decent and that was why I wanted to go see him. I could afford to and maybe we could talk it out.

I was on my fourth cigarette since I got home and a quarter into my bottle of bourbon when I got a call. I wasn't really paying attention to who it was, i just answered when I heard the buzzing. "Yeah?"

"Hey."

It was him. I fumbled and almost spilled my paint cup that was filled with swirls of reds and purples. I managed to stop it from falling over and ruining the current piece I was working on. I kicked the canvas away gently and wiped my hands on my already paint covered thighs. "U-uh...um...h-hi."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just uh…" I swayed a little and leaned back against my bed to support myself. I was starting to get the spins. "Just chilling in my room. Why?"

"Talk to me."

"Are you high?"

"Not right now, no." His voice sounded raspy, as if he had just woken up.

"Where are you?"

"My bed. Where are you? Oh...wait. You already said that."

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Are you?"

"No."

"Me either."

He cleared his throat. "'m sorry about last night. I was at a party and-"

"Since when have you started doing other drugs?"

"Hm? Oh...I mean...it wasn't the first time. I've done it before."

"And you never told me?"

"It was before we met. Don't worry about it. You still drinking?"

"Yeah, I'm still fucking drinking." I scoffed.

"I know. I can hear it in your voice. You're getting there."

"Yeah, well...shit happens."

"You really want to come here?"

"Do you really want me there?"

He took a deep breath and went silent again. "Yes."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"I can be there. I can ask for time off. I have enough vacation time."

"Come here. Come to me. Be in my arms. Be on top of me..." He exhaled slowly. "Kiss me."

"It still hurts Johnny."

"I fucking know that already. Trust me."

"Have you told Jae about what's going on with us?"

"No, not really. Told him I've been busy. That I love him. That kind of stuff."

"I haven't told Quinn. I kinda just...pretend."

"You always pretend."

"And you don't?" I snapped 

"Of course I do." He chuckled. "We always pretend that everything's okay. And that's when we tip back a drink or smoke and destroy ourselves together. Don't you remember? That night after we fucked...we just sat against the wall of the bedroom and drank half a bottle of whiskey and just laughed about shit. I got high and you smoked like half a pack. And then I ate you out so good you came twice."

I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in them. I hadn't expected him to say that, to bring that up. "I laughed so hard and cried until I had a mental breakdown."

"Yup. And what did we do after?"

"You wiped my tears and fucked me again and I held onto you so fucking tight because I didn't want you to let me go."

"I remember the scratches. Those weren't orgasmic scratches. Those were in pain scratches."

"I know." I sniffled and punched the side of my thigh over and over so I could redirect my thoughts to not crying.

"Come here. I want to have another night like that with you."

"That was a bad night Johnny…"

"It was and it wasn't. The bad stuff makes us closer and we understand each other better."

"I don't want a bad night. I want a good night. I want only good night's with you."

"We'll have good night's. We will. We'll talk about shit...that's what you want right?" He asked.

"You need to want it to johnny!"

"I do want it! Don't fucking yell at me! I mean I'm fucking asking you to come here. What else do you think I want?"

"Fine, I'll fucking get a ticket tonight and I'll go for like a week."

"Fine. Fucking sounds good to me."

"Fine!" What the hell was happening? We're we mad about seeing each other or not? I laid down on the floor and set the phone down, putting it on speaker. My head was hurting so much and now I had to ask for time off and plan everything by myself. "Can I come at any time or do you have to ask for time off?"

"I can get a couple days off. The rest I might have to work but you can sleep in and I'll be back by the time you wake up. Maybe come on a Thursday and leave on a Wednesday? I don't work weekends unless there's an event and I don't have a weekend event for a bit."

"Ok, I'll ask my job and I'll buy the ticket as soon as I know."

"'mmkay. Sounds good."

We were quiet again and I hated it. "I guess I'll talk to you later." I said, bitterly.

"Okay...if you wanna. I love you, yeah?"

It was the first time I had heard him say it in a long time and it made my heart clench and I started crying again. Goddammit, I could fill a fucking ocean with how much i cried for this man. I went back to hitting my thigh to try and distract myself from it. "I love you too."

"Do you want to...stay on the phone with me, maybe? I haven't heard what's going on with you. You haven't really posted on IG or anything in awhile."

"I don't want people to really look into my life right now. I've been kind of a recluse… You're...partying I guess."

"Ehh, kind of. Every once in awhile. I still have to keep my job right?" He chuckled. "It's been um...really rough without you."

"Yeah I...we...yeah…" He cleared his throat again and I heard him sniff a bit. "Johnny don't you dare."

I heard his voice crack and that was the end. We were two fucking cry babies thousands of miles away from each other and wanting to give up everything just to be together. I wanted to make it work with him. I loved him too damn much to give up now.

--

I was nervous when I stepped out of the airport. California had a weird vibe to it and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not yet. I could deal with cities, hell I lived in one for like half my life, but this was weird, even for just an airport. I looked around trying to find Johnny from the directions he had texted me. I felt so lost and was ready to call him until I saw him looking around as well. "Johnny!"

His head whipped around and a big smile beamed on his face. I ran to him, almost dropping my luggage because I really didn't care anymore. I just wanted him. He gave me a monstrous hug and spun me around, squeezing me as tight as he could. I almost couldn't breathe. His arms felt so much stronger, especially when I grabbed onto his biceps.

He set me down and cupped my face to kiss me hard, before I could even say anything. I had almost forgotten how warm and soft his lips were and definitely got harshly reminded of how much his tongue filled my mouth. Jesus...why did he feel so much bigger? "A-ahmm...j-johnny u-um…"

"Hmm?" His hands were already grabbing at my hips and I pawed him away.

"We're in public, you slut."

"Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help it. You-" He stopped mid sentence and looked me over. I stood up a bit straighter unsure of what he was looking for 

"What?"

"You're skinny."

"Excuse me?"

"Like skinnier. You were kinda chubby before I left."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

"No! I mean, like, it's not a bad thing I just-! Like you look hot! I mean you looked hot before too but-"

"Stop fucking talking before I get on that plane and go right the fuck home." I growled.

"Ugh, I'm sorry. That came out all wrong. What I meant to say was that...you look beautiful."

"Yeah that better be what you meant to say, asshole." I punched his arm but shook my knuckles out immediately after. Why was it so damn hard? Now it was my turn to give him the once over and I realized he was bigger. Definitely more filled out and muscular. His pants were straining at his thighs, like usual but even more so. His arms were more defined and he looked like he could throw me against a wall and I would say thank you. I could clearly see the veins in his arms and I was ready to die right there. "O-oh…" was all I managed to squeak out.

"What? Wait are you checking me out now?" He laughed. "You think I'm fat?"

"No…" I shifted, a bit self conscious of myself now. "You're hot, like always." How many girls had tried to hit on him since he moved here? Ugh, I never thought of something like that before. I wasn't really the jealous type...was I? Well...maybe a little.

He picked up my luggage and put an arm around my shoulders. "Cmon, we've got to check into the hotel."

"Hotel? Why aren't we just staying at your place?" I asked.

"Uh...well...I just wanted it to be special you know? Just me and you."

"Oh you have roommates?"

"Sorta…"

Suddenly I was staring in front of an ugly ass blue van with rust stains on the bottom and scratches along the doors. I was even more surprised when Johnny shoved a key into the lock and slid back the door. I peeked in as he set my luggage behind the passenger seat and saw a mattress in the back, a tension rod holding his clothes up on the opposite door and all his tech stuff hidden beneath the back seat. Curtains covered most of the windows and there was a huge bag of laundry behind the driver's seat. "Ready?" He asked.

I looked at the van then at him then at the van again. "Are you living out of your fucking car?"

"No, well...yes and no. Not entirely. Rent here is kind of ridiculous and I promised jae I would still pay my half of the rent for the apartment while I was gone. So I pay for that, the car, the insurance, my gym membership so I can work out and get ready in the morning there, and then sometimes I stay at my friend's place when I need to cook or do laundry. Hence the...hotel." He cleared his throat and shut the door quickly. "Well, let's get in."

I couldn't believe this. He went all the way to California for this?? What the absolute fuck? He opened the door for me and I stepped in without another word because I knew that if I talked I would say something I would regret. He got into the driver's seat and cut the engine on, leaving a trail of exhaust fumes behind us. He held my hand and stroked his thumb across the back of it, still smiling as he drove  "Are you hungry?"

"No, not right now. Maybe we can order something later? I'm a bit jetlagged." I lied.

"Yeah, whatever my princess wants."

I felt my cheeks flush a bit when I heard him say that. It was different in person than over text and it still made me shiver. I looked over at him as he drove one handed. He was still so heart stoppingly gorgeous and even though I had a bunch of questions and irritations about the van I realized that wasn't what was important right now. I was with my Johnny and we were trying to make things right again. That was what was most important. I gave his hand a squeeze and closed my eyes, letting him take us to where we needed to go. When we got to the "hotel" however, I found that it was just a generic motel chain and not anything remotely nicer. It was a bit of a let down and I tried not to be too materialistic but damn if I didn't want this to be a little more special. He opened the door for me and got my luggage out. We went to our room which was just a small ways from the car. The inside was plain, brown, white sheets on the bed. Nothing spectacular. He went back to get his own bag and lock the car before both of us were in the room, alone at last. 

I kicked off my wedges and sat on the bed which seemed a little too hard for my liking. We were quiet for a moment. I was too busy staring at my feet dangling off the bed to notice that he was now in front of me, pushing me down gently and crawling on top of me. "Hey." He whispered as he pushed my hair back and ran his fingers down the side of my face.

"H-hi." I looked at him then drove my eyes away.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

"I want to do a lot of things to you." I confessed.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" He teased before placing soft pecks against my lips. "Tell me."

"Um...can I just go freshen up a bit?" I squirmed away from him and wiggled myself off the bed. 

"Um...ok. Are you alright? Do you not want to?" He reached his hand out to me and I just patted it awkwardly.

"No I do I just...give me a couple minutes, ok?"

"Sure, babe…"

I grabbed my luggage and sped to the bathroom, almost a hyperventilating mess. I was so nervous! Why the fuck was I nervous? He's my boyfriend. He's seen me every which way. He's put me in all sorts of positions. We've made so many messes and yet...my stomach was churning and I was getting butterflies just thinking about him being so much bigger than I was and looking down at me. It just reminded me of our first hookup almost an entire year ago. Jesus, we had known each other for a year? I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the mirror. Ok, just...get ready for a sexy night like normal. You can do this Eri.

I took a quick shower, washing just the important parts and making sure not to get water on my face. I didn't want to do my entire makeup look all over again. Once I was done I brushed my teeth, reapplied some of my makeup and made sure I smelled like a yummy dessert with the perfume and lotion I put on. I was constantly wondering if I was doing too much but it was whatever. I was going to make sure he was reminded of what had been waiting for him back home. I slipped on my new half shelf bra that barely held me in and his favorite garter and thigh high set that had to be washed so many times because of how much he came on them. I gave myself the once over and made sure I looked ok before cracking the door open slightly.

He had pulled his shirt over his head and I could see every dip and ripple of his back muscles as he worked to undo his belt and shuffle his jeans down. I had to squint just to be sure but it looked like he was wearing red silk boxers. This whole nerd. I fussed over myself one last time before opening the door completely. I had expected him to still be standing but he was sprawled out in some cheesy "sexy" pose with a plastic rose in his mouth until his jaw dropped. "Oh my god, what are you doing, you dork?! Where's you get that flower from?"

He spit and wiped his mouth. "It was in the vase over there. I think it had dust on it. I didn't realize and...wow."

"Why are you such a dummy?" I crawled onto the bed and sat beside him, blushing still. "So...what do you think?"

"I can't think. What is thinking? Boobs." He made no point in hiding his staring.

I shoved his head away playfully. "Idiot. Yes, my boobs are here for you to look at."

"Touch."

"Yes, that too. Oh my god." I grabbed him by his chin and tilted his head up for a kiss. "I missed how much you make me laugh."

"I missed…" He grabbed my thighs and pulled them from beneath me so he could take his place above me again once I fell onto my back. His hands joined mine and pinned them beside my head. "Everything about you."

"I have a few rules for tonight." 

"Oh? Is there something you don't wanna do?"

"The opposite. Your rules are that you have to make me squirt, you have to choke me, you have to let me ride your face, you have to AT LEAST finger my ass, and if you do all that you can cum in me every time."

His eyes went wide. "Ev-every time? You'd let me do that?"

"Yeah, I took some extra precautions."

"Like what?"

"Well one, I just got my new birth control implant in so my arm doesn't fucking hurt anymore and two I got spermicide film."

"Yah what?"

I rolled my eyes. "Basically it's something I put on the inside and it kills the sperm on contact. So no cretins running around. We just have to wait a bit for it to dissolve but that's what foreplay is for, right?"

"Mhmm…" He licked his lips and started pressing kisses down my neck. "You're fucking amazing. I can't wait to fill you up so damn good."

"Eww don't say that." I giggled and smooshed his face away then rolled over onto my stomach beneath him. He instantly set his bulge against my ass and ground into me.

"Wait do I really have to finger your ass?" He said in between kisses across my shoulders and down my back.

"It would be nice since you still haven't done it yet. And I told you it's not "icky" like you think it is."

He groaned. "Ok, if I do it you swear I can cum in you?"

"Absolutely promise, love. I even bought toys to help you out. I mean, you love my ass so much why don't you play with it?"

"Ok, ok, fine. I'll agree to it. But just this once."

"Trust me, you'll want to do it again." I smirked as backed myself up against him, rubbing over the front of his boxers. "I like the silk by the way. Super cute."

He groaned and gripped my hip roughly, pressing into the spot that always drove me wild. I let out a small whimper and shoved my face into the mattress as my body felt tingly all over. "What toys did you bring?" I could hear the smirk in his voice as he continued to grind and keep his weight on top of me.

"U-um, just a vibrator, some lube, and a-ahh! Hmm...a dildo. Some other stuff."

"Why the dildo?" He nipped at my ear and traced his tongue over my lobe.

"I thought maybe if you didn't want to um...fuck me there I could just play with it."

"Your ass, you mean?"

I gripped the sheets tighter and rocked back harder against him. He hadn't let go of my hip and I was already getting flushed all over. "Uh-huh."

"How big is it?" He worked me onto my knees and spread them as wide as my hips would allow. His fingers had all the access he wanted to work up and down my slit, feeling the wetness that had just begun to form.

"U-um like...7 inches or-" I shuddered and wanted to snap my legs shut when he teased my entrance with a small poke. "S-so…"

"You can take all that there?"

I nodded. "I've done it before. I just need a little bit of help is all."

"And that help is me stretching you open?" He dipped the entirety of his finger inside me now and I bowed my back, hissing slightly. "Why are you so needy right now?"

"Well I haven't had sex since you left. Why the fuck do you think I'm needy? Aren't you the same?"

He didn't answer me and instead thrust his finger in deeper. "You're so small, you know that? You look extra tiny right now."

"We get it, Suh, you have a size kink." I grumbled and tried to move back on his finger but he pulled it away.

"You gonna behave?"

I pouted and gave him a glare. "Don't you dare tease me. That's not part of the rules."

"Let me implement some of my own rules then. One, I get to tease you all I want and I mean taking hours just to lick and kiss you everywhere and not letting you cum at all. Two, you let me face fuck you. Did you bring that spray stuff?"

I scoffed and looked away. "Tch, yeah...or whatever."

"Good. Three, let's make a movie."

I shot up entirely and shoved him away. "WHAT?!"

"Don't make it a big deal. It's just for you and me only. I'm lonely without you here and I can watch it when I miss you the most."

"It is a big deal! Don't you remember what fucking happened to me?!" I yelled.

"Yeah but I'm not stupid or an asshole. I'm your boyfriend. I don't even want anyone to look at you sexually let alone see you naked or getting rawed. I'd be furious. This is just for you and me."

"N-no...i-i don't know, Johnny. If we break up i-"

"We're not breaking up...I thought we were but I'm glad we're not." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder. "It's not getting uploaded anywhere. It's going on my password protected photo app. No one can get into it but me. I swear, Eri."

"What if I want to stop it?"

"Then we stop it, duh. There's no reason to keep going if you're uncomfortable. We can at least try it for a bit. We're both doing new things tonight. We can celebrate."

"And if I don't like it, you'll delete it right?"

"You can delete it from my phone yourself. You're safe with me babe. Trust me." He held me tighter and nuzzled his face against against my neck.

"I'm nervous…"

"What? Don't be! It's just me, princess. I make you feel good, don't I?" I nodded meekly and played with the band of my thigh highs. "We can get going for a bit then I'll turn it on so that way you're really feeling it. Sound good?"

"O-ok." I agreed, still a little reluctant. But he was right. Maybe we could at least try.

"Good," He laid down, stuffing pillows behind his head and beckoning me over. "Come here, angel."

I shuffled over to straddle him, setting my knees on either side of his head. I propped my hand on the wall and looked down at him as he licked his lips. His arms wrapped around my thighs and held me in place. His face was buried against me in no time, diving his tongue into me as his nose brushed against my clit. I sucked in a sharp breath and let my other hand fall into his hair. "J-johnny, fuck...I missed your tongue."

He only hummed against me and flicked his tongue faster, slurping lewdly and licking up the length of my slit. His hands slid up and down my thighs, over my hips and stomach, and towards my chest. He grabbed each of my breasts and squeezed, rubbing his thumbs over my nipples. My fingers fisted his hair and pulled as I needed him more and more. I rocked my hips against his face, already feeling the effects he had on me. He parted for just a moment to take in a breath. "Just a sec."

"S-sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's ok. I'm fine now. You taste good. I want more."

"Shut up. No I don't. You're just say-" I gasped as he devoured me further. He caressed my body, hands flowing back down so his thumbs could spread my lips apart. The tip of his tongue painted intimate patterns into me, making me shudder and moan his name loudly. I didn't care anymore if I was loud or not. I needed this like it was my own personal drug. My toes dug into the mattress as I rolled my hips faster, getting closer to falling over the edge. He pulled away again and I figured he needed more air but instead he pushed my hips downward, making me rest over his boxers. "What the hell?!" I pouted.

"Grind on me."

"I was about to cum."

"Didn't I say that I get to tease you without making you cum at all? Now start." I huffed and slid his boxers off, revealing the girth underneath. I worked my hand over the length, wrapping my fingers around his shaft and giving him a good squeeze. "Not what I asked for."

"Fuck off." I hovered over his cock and planted my hands on his chest before I rode my wetness up and down from head to base. His eyes closed and his head fell back into the pillows, his whole body relieving itself of tension. I loved watching him sink into bliss; seeing that shit eating grin on his face because he knew he was getting what he wanted. He settled his hands behind his head and chuckled a bit as my hole brushed over the most sensitive part of him. I teased him by sinking down onto his tip, just a few centimeters or so, before sliding back down and never letting him enter me. Johnny knew that I would tease him just as much as he would tease me. Two could always play that game of course.

I pressed my chest to his, lowering myself just close enough that I could lick his lips. I swiped my tongue across his bottom lip and he easily let me in. Our tongues collided and I drew his in to suck on deeply. It morphed into deeper kisses where I could scarcely breathe and we would exchange licks and sucks in the dirtiest ways. One of his hands grabbed the back of my head while the other grabbed my ass, controlling all of my movements. I was his to fuck, his to play with, and his to love unconditionally. I managed to break away from him for a moment, panting against his lips. "Do you want to be inside me now?"

"Hmm, in a bit. Let me get my tripod. Get up."

Oh right. That. I scooted off him and wiped my lips that were still tender. I could taste myself on his tongue and wondered why he liked it so much. I unhooked my bra and tossed it aside before heading back to the bathroom where I had left my luggage. I dug through my clothes and pulled out all the naughty things I had brought with me, taking them back to the bed. His phone was all set up on the tripod ready to go.  "Tell me what I should do first." I propped myself on all fours, waiting for his answer. 

"Better get the spray out." He smirked.

"Of course, you slut." I spritzed a bit of the numbing spray into my mouth, wincing at the overly strong peppermint taste. "Blegh. It feels like toothpaste down my throat."

"Well hopefully my dick will make it better." He tapped record on his phone and told me to come to the edge of the bed. I was just at the perfect height for where he wanted me and I opened my mouth, sticking my tongue out. His gripped his base and rubbed the head of his cock against my tongue, swirling it a bit. I wrapped my lips around him and suckled on the sensitive area and the soft curse he let out warmed every inch of my skin. I set my hands on his hips and flowed back to grab a hold of his ass to steady myself.

He thrust into my mouth, slowly at first, getting me used to the stretch within my lips. Every few minutes or so he would push in further until he touched the back of my throat. It was a slightly uncomfortable feeling but I didn't gag thanks to the spray. Instead he remained nestled in for a while until he looked down at me. "Ready?"

I was already thinking about how sore my throat was going to be tomorrow but I nodded against him. He gripped the back of my head with both hands and pulled out slowly before plunging straight in. I dug my nails into his skin as my nose brushed against his lower stomach and he destroyed my throat. He didn't let up on his speed and I struggled to breathe through my nose. I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt tears already prickling at the corners of my eyes. He fumbled through obscene curses and almost incoherent mumbles, the pleasure of my mouth wrapped around him seeming to drive him insane. I tapped on his hip, signaling to let me go. He pulled out completely and I worked to clear the saliva between us.

He dragged his thumb across my lips to clean me up as well. "You okay?" I nodded and swallowed hard. "You sure?" I nodded again and pulled him back to me, opening my mouth for another round. "Good girl."

My body lit up at the praise and I held my head a little higher, squaring myself and gripping the edge of the bed. He worked his way back in, feeding himself into me and wreaking havoc on my taste buds. I managed to look up at him and realized he had been staring down at me the whole time. I darted my eyes away though he tapped my chin to get me to look back up. His big hand was suddenly engulfing my throat and added accompanying pressure to the point where I felt light headed. "You look so good like this, you know that?" I heard him say. My body was almost swaying and I tried to keep my frame firm but it wasn't any use. My eyes fluttered closed and I leaned into his hand until my breath was non existent. "Eri?" My hearing was fuzzy but I felt myself wanting to smile, whether I was doing it or not, I didn't know. The feeling of not being able to breathe and floating into an unconscious space was always thrilling but I was ripped from me just as it started getting good. 

He pulled back again, letting his grip on me fade and I took in a large gulp of air, falling into a coughing fit. He walked away from me to go to the mini fridge within our room and get a small bottle of water. He handed it to me and I took it graciously, downing it in seconds. He stopped the recording and sat down beside me. "You good? You looked like you were going to faint or something. I got scared."

"I'm okay, I just got lightheaded."

"Fuck, it was too much then, wasn't it?"

I leaned against his shoulder and giggled. "No, I like getting lightheaded when I'm being choked."

He scoffed. "Of course you do. Don't scare me like that though, ok? Maybe were not completely ready for the face fucking." 

"I'm sorry, baby. I liked it, I really did and I didn't think I would. It's just kinda like another form of choking." I nudged my head just under his chin and rubbed his broad chest. "Maybe we can try again a little later too?"

"It was pretty hot. You looked so damn good." He licked his lips then kissed me briefly before commanding me to lay down. He made me hold my legs open while he retrieved the bottle of lube from the small pile of things I had brought over. I watched as he added a small glob to his fingers and pressed it to my rim. "I guess we can start this now."

"You sure you're okay with it?" I asked, not wanting to force him to do anything he didn't want to.

"I might as well try it. I mean, I never thought it was really hot or sexy but you are so maybe I'd like it. You think it would make you squirt?"

"I've never done it with just anal but maybe if we add some other stuff it might. It'll be fun to find out." I grabbed his other hand and folded my fingers into his, giving the back of it a chaste kiss.

He returned the kiss to my stomach and took a deep breath. "I have to go slower, right? Like it'll hurt more if I don't?"

"Right. It's just like fingering me regularly just a little more cautious. You'll be ok." I assured him.

"What if it feels gross?"

"Oh my god, Johnny, it will not feel gross. I swear."

He scrunched up his nose and didn't move. I sighed and set my legs down. "You don't have to do- OH WELL OK THEN!" I felt him press into me, his fingertip wiggling its way inside.

"Keep your legs open, dammit."

"Ya could've warned me!"

"You wanted me to do this anyway so hush!" I reopened my legs and noticed that he was blushing through his face of deep concentration. He was even poking his tongue out a bit. It was cute but now I was a bit afraid of how thick his fingers were."How many do you want in here?"

"Three usually works. But not all at once!"

"I know that! Just calm down! You're making me feel weird." I kept quiet then, closing my eyes and trying to relax around his finger. He let my hand go to gently brush his thumb over my clit, letting me focus on that sensation until his entire finger finally poked through. "Huh."

"What "huh"?"

"Kinda feels a bit weird. Not like a normal vagina."

"Well duh," I said. "Probably because it's NOT a vagina??"

"Eri, Jesus Christ." He slammed his lips against mine then in order to keep me quiet as he started to slowly thrust his finger. 

"You're being a fuckboy again." I said in between a few kisses.

"No, I'm just being me. We can be weird and casual in bed." He nipped at my bottom lip and curled his finger gently. "Am I doing it right?"

"Y-yeah," I wrapped my arms around his ribcage and nudged my thigh between his legs. "Feels nice. You'll need some more lube for the second one though."

"I know." He swallowed hard and pressed his cock against the fabric of the thigh highs, beginning to rub against it. "Just give me a sec...fuck…" That always got him going; a begging and needy prince that wanted to fuck my thighs and grind against them until he made a mess. It had become my favorite thing for us to do just because I loved his change in demeanor. He was hiding in my neck, whimpering slightly and kissing me in the softest of ways. I pushed his hair back and encouraged him not to forget about his finger deep inside me. He had stopped as he had gotten distracted with his grinds that were gradually getting faster.

"You know you're not allowed to cum this way, no matter how much you want to." I whispered.

He nodded and sunk a small bite into my neck. "I-i know b-but-!"

"No but's Johnny. You know the rules." He had the biggest pout on his face and I couldn't help but giggle. "Someone's a little submissive."

"I am not submissive. I just like cumming on your thighs."

"But do you like cumming inside me more?" It was like he was weighing the pros and cons of each situation, never before encountering it. He opened his mouth to speak then shut it, his brows furrowing again in thought. I smirked and grabbed the bottle of lube and dangled it in front of his face. "While you're thinking it over how about you get to work stretching me more."

He sighed and snatched the bottle from me, pulling out his finger then adding lube to them both. He was even slower as he tried to pry in again. It had been so long since I had done this and I was too tight for comfort. It was going to be some time before I opened up full. The fingertips did eventually get in, making me gasp and mewl like a kitten in heat. I arched up, pressing my thigh against him harder and sliding my hand down my body to thrust inside my wetness. "Damn, is this what you're like every time you do anal?" 

"Shut up...I just kinda like...um...both holes filled at the same time."

"Ooohhh. Is that your fantasy?"

"To get fucked by two guys and eat out a girl at the same time? Yeah. I mean if you would've went with the foursome idea at christmasssss..."

"Hm." He shoved his fingers into me fully making me cry out.

"F-fuck! Johnny! You asshole!" The stinging pain was somewhat strong but the masochist in me wasn't running away from it. They were working faster, curling against the tightness and scissoring me open. I held onto his wrist, making sure he was pinned in place. I didn't want him to leave, I couldn't bear the thought of him stopping just to tease me again. I was pumping my own fingers into myself faster, my breaths war torn and ragged. He was grinding harder against my thigh, rubbing against the mesh and bringing moans out of him so deep that I wanted to scream. I fucking missed this so much; making him moan, whimper, beg, pant. Everything. It just brought me back to how much his voice made me quiver with orgasms since before I even met him.

"I need you, Eri. Now."

"Just a little more. Please. I want you too but just a little more!" I bit down on my lip as my other hand grasped the sheets between us. He was peeved that I wouldn't let him inside me just yet but by the way he was throbbing and leaving a wet patch on the fabric between us I could tell he was enjoying the show. He edged another finger inside me and we matched three for three. Both sets of fingers filling me had my holes clamping in eagerness to cum. The edge of my palm brushed against my clit while his thick fingers curled deeper inside me, circling against pleasure points and spaces that reawakened after so long. And then he pulled away and shoved my hand aside. "God fucking dammit Johnny!!" All he could do was laugh and I wanted to punch him in the chest. "Really?!"

"Yeah, you're hot when you're sexually frustrated." I watched him leave me to tap the record button again. He then returned to prop himself against the wall, his lap welcoming me to sit on it. He patted his thighs and I crossed my arms, my lips in full pouting mode. "Hah! Don't give me that shit. You want it bad. You're not gonna be a brat for long. Get over here, Eri."

"No! You're being a jerk!"

"You wanna cum don't you?" I glanced over as he said those words lower and definitely more enticing. His hand was wrapped around his cock and adding slow strokes to his shaft. His tongue poked out to graze his bottom lip and I hated that he was trying to win me over. I couldn't resist the way he looked when he had his legs open like that, hair sticking slightly to his forehead, and his broad chest heaving slightly. Droplets of precum slid down onto his fingers as he gave his head a squeeze, hissing as his teeth sucked in air. "Princess...come here."

Oh fuck you. I caved in and straddled his lap, lowering my gaze to his length. I set my hand over his and guided him towards my entrance, slowly sinking down until he filled me completely. We stood still for a moment, almost in shock at how amazing it felt. It was way different from when he wasn't feeling sexual when he first started his meds. We got to be intimate on other levels and though I craved him I was still mostly patient and comforted him. This was months of sadness, anger, hatred, pain, and heart wrenching love that had culminated into a burst of sexual frustration and passion all at once. I didn't need anything but him. In fact if we stayed holed up in this shitty motel the entire week I think I would be able to survive off his kisses alone.

"Move, for the love of fucking god, move." He begged. He was just as desperate as I was and I gave into his command before he even finished his sentence. I held onto his shoulders and worked through the burning in my thighs to bounce quickly. Feeling him plunge deep and fill me with every inch of his girth was a gift I was more than happy to accept. I noticed him fumbling his hands behind me but barely gave it any thought. I was too entranced by chasing my pleasure and hoping he wouldn't pull away again. That was when I felt something poking at my rim. I gasped as he pushed it through, stuffing me with the dildo in an act I'd never thought he'd do.

"B-baby, w-wha-what are you-?"

He gripped the back of my neck and growled against my lips. "Fuck yourself on them both."

I swallowed hard and nodded, switching my movements to swift rolls of my hips so I could catch both cocks on a heated rhythm. Johnny moved the dildo faster, almost as fast as his hips were snapping up into me now. I cupped his jaw and landed sloppy, half met kisses to his lips which he reciprocated with bites and licks to my tongue whenever he could. I was a literal mess and at his mercy. His free hand tore into my ass cheek, creating half moon indentations in my skin. I heard a thud then and realized his head had collided with the wall as he tried to move it back. "Ouch! Shit."

I giggled in between pants and cradled his head. "You're always knocking your head on something when we fuck. Are you ok?"

"Yeah yeah yeah, just keep going. I'm an idiot."

"My idiot." I gently rubbed the back of his head and held him close to my chest, setting my other hand against the wall. I mewled as my skin seemed to break with how rough he was digging his teeth in but it was fucking beautiful. With how much he had teased me and with all the sensory overload he was providing now, my orgasm was quick to come. When I rolled my hips, my clit would rub against his base and added to everything that was destroying me. That little motion was enough to have me dousing his lower stomach and thighs with my cum that gushed out in heavy spurts. My hand flew to cover my mouth and stop my scream from bursting through. It was so intense, too intense even, and I scrambled to pull away from him as my body curled up and I felt trembling aftershocks.

I could only curse and bury my face into the bed, my fist ripping the bedsheet from the corner of the mattress. Johnny hovered over me, tossing the dildo aside and trying to pry my legs open. "Nonononono." I whimpered as I was still too sensitive. I didn't want him to drive me into another orgasm that soon. I didn't think my body could take it. But he was inside me again, my hands pinned by my head as he slammed into me. I could barely look up at him but he was hovering over me, casting a shadow against the ceiling light and somehow seeming much bigger than before. "I love you…" He gasped out. "Cum with me this time."

I sure as hell would try. My walls were weak and anything could send me over the edge again. I closed my eyes as I felt him throb then stutter, a warmth filling my belly and simultaneously flowing out of me. I felt tears prickling at my eyes as my second flow of cum spread onto the sheets beneath us. He collapsed onto me and I held onto him so tight as the tears finally fell. My mind was a sea of emptiness. No thoughts filtered through and I just wanted to stay in this moment with him forever. I closed my eyes and let our heartbeats slow down until our breaths steadied. "God…" I whispered. "That was…"

"All I ever wanted and more." He pushed back his sweat drenched hair and gave me a small kiss. "Are you crying?"

"Oh." I wiped my eyes quickly. "Not sad crying. Like it was just a lot at once and it felt so good. I don't know. It just...happened." I laughed.

"Weirdo." He smiled. "Oh shit, the video." 

"Shut it off." 

"Well I don't wanna pull out yet."

"Fine, just shuffle with me until you can reach it." We looked stupid scooting our bodies close to the edge of the bed just so he could stop the video and take his phone off the tripod. I sighed as he sat back and made sure my legs were wide open.

"This is why I didn't want to pull out yet. I want to see it drip out of you." He held the phone above me and I rushed to cover myself.

"That's embarrassing, you giant pervert!!"

"No it's not! It's so damn hot. Please? Pleaseeeeee??" He covered my face in silly little kisses, trying his best to convince me.

"What is up with you suddenly becoming a porn director?!" I grumbled.

"I told you, it's because I miss you and I can only think about you when I jack off. But with this I can see us together and it will be so much more intense when I cum. I can see and hear how good I made you feel. The sounds you make are something else."

"O-oh…" My face flared up as I hadn't expected him to say all of that. "You are so lucky I love you more than anything. And I know you would raise hell if anybody else saw me like this. Fine, pull out."

I heard the beep of the video begin and covered my face as he moved. I felt his cum flow out of me, more so when I clenched my pelvic floor to push it out. He let out a deep moan of satisfaction and used his thumb and index finger to spread my lips apart, making me even more flustered. "Are you done yet?" I mumbled behind my hands.

"No." He dragged his fingers through his cum and nudged my hands away. "Open." I kept my eyes closed but opened my mouth, taking in his fingers that rubbed the bitter musk over my taste buds. He spread his fingers across my tongue, pinching it slightly before plunging to the back of my throat. I winced and moved my head away. The numbing spray had worn off and I wasn't into vomiting all over my boyfriend. He pulled away and stopped the third clip. "Damn."

I sat up and sighed. "Can you clean this up? I don't really wanna move."

"Yeah, I got you." I adjusted myself to lay down on my side of the bed while Johnny plugged his phone in to charge and gathered up the things we had made a mess on. I was already drifting into sleep, not even really caring about how sticky I was. "Is there anyway to clean a dildo without it feeling like you're jacking it off?!" I heard him call out from the bathroom.

"No!" I responded to his stupid question before turning my head away from the bathroom and falling asleep.

I woke up in the middle of my deep sleep after having the weirdest dream ever. I hated when I had dreams like that because I could never seem to get back to sleep until hours after. I sighed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, pouting at my now awakened state. Johnny was spooning me, arm wrapped around my torso with his hand on one boob as usual. That I didn't mind that as much as i did his erection jabbing into my lower back. He was dead asleep too, I could tell by his snoring. How he managed to get hard while not even being awake, who knows. Maybe he was having a more pleasant dream that I had. But he needed to move if I wanted to be comfortable at all again.

I nudged my elbow against him and removed his arm from around me. "Johnny." I whispered. "Move over."

Nothing.

I sighed and whispered a little louder. "Johnny! Move over." I tapped his thigh, hoping to get his attention but all it did was make him grind into me. This man never stopped. "Johnathan. Please move."

He grumbled and nuzzled between my shoulder blades before pressing me onto my stomach. I huffed and turned my head to the side so the pillow wouldn't suffocate me. "Boy, if you don't get off me-" I gasped sharply as I felt him enter me, his head popping through instantly. "W-wrong hole!" I squeaked.

"Fuck...why is it so tight?" He rasped, voice still laced with sleep.

"You're in the wrong place!"

"Mhm-hm. It's where I wanna be."

Did he just…? Was he…? WHAT? "A-are you sure? You never liked this like ever be-" My words were taken from me as he sunk in deeper. I was still somewhat stretched out from him using the toy on me earlier but this was even heavier and thicker than that measly thing. He raised me to my knees and rubbed his hands all over my body.

"Was dreaming 'bout you."

"I-i can tell. U-um…" I was blushing hard as one of my fantasies with him was finally checked off the list. "Do you like it?"

"Not sure yet. Can I move?"

"Yes, please."

He pulled out slowly and sunk back in, testing the waters and gauging how we both felt. I was still in shock but craved more and I wondered what was going through his mind. Why did he have a sudden change of heart? Just wanted to explore? Maybe he liked what we had done earlier? Or perhaps he was doing it because he wanted to make something up to me, like leaving, in a way. Whatever it was this change of heart was giving me pleasure in a way no one had made me feel before. He held onto my hips tightly and soon I heard the familiar slapping of his hips against my ass. I closed my eyes again and let him take over and figure out what he liked and didn't like.

"Open your legs more."

My thighs already were still sore from earlier but I wiggled them apart as he pressed his hand firmly against my lower back. He wanted that deep feeling of being in my stomach and drawing moans out of me. It was one of my favorite things to do with him and it made my body tremble. "Baby...shit…" I mewled. "It's good. I told you it's good."

"Hmmm... Can I cum in here too?"

"Yeah, whatever you want. Do whatever you want to me, love."

"I like the sound of that." He pressed my hips back harder, slamming us together and taking me back to a whimpering mess. He reached over and clicked on the bedside table lamp. "Wanna see you." I didn't even protest and let him marvel in the way he was stretching my ass open. I was too wrapped up in how good it felt to even care. He pressed his chest to my back and nipped at my ear. "I wanna see you fuck yourself this time."

"A-ahh...with the dildo?" 

"Yeah." He moaned against my ear. "Fast. And. Deep." He landed each word with harsh thrusts that I could feel in my stomach. I noticed he had set the clean toys on the bedside table and I reached out for the dildo, shuffling it between me and the bed. Johnny sunk his teeth down onto the back of my neck just as I pressed the toy into me. My favorite sensation was back and I was thrust into a place of bliss and heightened senses. He controlled the speed of my thrusts for a moment, making sure I knew how he wanted me to fuck myself. I almost couldn't take it but he made it even worse when I heard the whir of the small bullet vibe I had brought. It was deadly in his hands, especially since he kept it firmly against my clit. I wanted to crumble beneath his weight but he wrapped his arm around my waist and linked his ankles over mine so I couldn't move an inch. I was trapped beneath his big body, helpless and begging for my release.

"That's my babygirl. You're doing so good for me." He cooed. I buried my face into the pillow, blushing at his sweet words. I was already flustered and he was making it worse. "Do you wanna cum for me?"

"Y-yes daddy." I said meekly.

"I know, and I want you to squirt again. I want you to cum so hard. So sensitive and overstimulated that you collapse and cant take anymore. I want that."

He worked the bullet into small circles which made my toes dig into the sheets. His hand that was around my waist slid down to cover mine, controlling the speed of every single one of my pleasure points. With both his hands between my thighs and his cock stuffed inside me, I gripped the pillow between my teeth, clenching hard as my body came full force for the third time that night. I felt my cum flow over my thighs and his hands, pitter-pattering onto the mattress. My nails clawed at the walls as he let the dildo go but kept the vibrator on me, keeping up the relentless torture. I screamed a chaotic monologue of "Daddy! Please! Daddy please!!", begging for him to ease up on my sensitivity but he didn't. Instead his hips drove all the way home, pounding harshly and creating an infestation of tremors throughout my entire being. Finally, the bullet stopped and dropped by my knee. 

Both of Johnny's hands were on my hips again as he chased his own orgasm, breathing hard in between growls and moans. I brought my hand to rest on his, squeezing my fingers against him tight. His cum rushed into me then, warming me like he had done before and making me feel absolutely full. He let me lower myself to the mattress and caved on top of me again, resting his head by mine. "Was us fucking always this amazing? I mean like yes but also like...this is some next level shit." He chuckled. "Eri?"

"I'm so tired, you asshole."

"Well I know your asshole is tired. Pretty much got plowed into oblivion."

"Uh, yeah, so...what was that about?" I asked curiously.

He huffed, trying to blow some of my curls away from his face. "I don't know...just...guess I should try stuff before I say I don't like it. I never found it sexy but your ass is perfect. It was like suffocating. Only with you babe."

"I feel so special. And also like I wanna die. I need to shower. I'm so sticky but I don't think I can move."

"I'll help you. Hold on." He slid out of me slowly, leaving my hole gaping and dripping with his cum. "Fuck…" he breathed. "I could watch that all day."

"Jooohhnnnyyyy!" I covered my head with the pillow, wanting to disappear forever every time he stared at my openings like that.

He tossed the pillow away and helped me sit up gently. "I just like teasing you."

My big pout didn't last long because he scooped me up in his arms bridal style and carried me to the bathroom. I held onto him tight, almost in disbelief. "Well damn daddy, just bench press me."

"Knowing you, you'd like that." He set me down gently in the shower and joined me before drawing the curtains and turning on the water. "I'm so glad you came, baby." He set his head on top of mine and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"I am too. I just want to be with you. No matter what."

--

The next morning (or afternoon, I wasn't really sure) I woke up with almost every inch of my body aching. My ass hurt, my legs hurt, all the bite marks hurt, my throat hurt. Having sex with Johnny was like getting hit by a freight train and trying to pick yourself back up from the aftermath. On top of that I was so damn hungry. I rolled over slowly and hit an empty spot instead of the warmth I expected. I felt around, trying to figure out if I was missing something before opening my eyes. He wasn't there. I sat up and looked around, perplexed as to where he went. "Looking for me?"

My head swiveled when I heard his voice. He was coming out of the bathroom, pulling his shirt over his head. "How ya feeling?"

"Like death." I croaked. "Where did you go?"

"To get you breakfast and a chai latte to try and make your throat better. I got your favorite. Strawberry pancakes, eggs, sausage, and chicken nuggets."

"Fuck yeah, nuggies." I giggled a bit and reached out for the latte. I definitely needed it to soothe my throat.

He tossed off his jeans and brought the bag of food to sit between us. I curled up against him instantly and nuzzled his shoulder. "Let me guess, you want me to feed you?" I nodded and gave him puppy dog eyes. He rolled his own and opened the containers cutting up the pancakes and feeding them to me. "I wanted to take you out later on if you're up to it?"

I chewed a bit then swallowed. "Take me where?"

"Shopping and stuff. We've got big malls here. Figured you'd like all the makeup stuff."

"Oh yeah? You gonna be my sugar daddy or something?"

He scoffed as he ate one of the nuggets. "More like generic store brand sucrose father."

I laughed and kissed his cheek. "You know you don't have to buy me anything right?"

He shrugged. "You just seemed kinda disappointed in the hotel and my car…"

"Well...I am, I mean I was. I just expected you to have more since this was your big internship, you know?"

"Yeah...well I like my van. I can go wherever I want and not have to be tied down. I've traveled along the coast and to different cities already. It was like this place was made for me. There's so much to do here. It's better then our college town."

"Right…" I said rather sadly.

"Babe, you know I do miss you. I don't want to be away from you and that's not what im trying to say right?"

"I know...I know. Let's just not focus on that right now I guess."

"I still wanna take you shopping. Get you looking all cute and shit. I'll carry your bags and all that." He fed me another bite of pancakes. "Is that ok?"

I felt bad. I didn't want him to think that he had to do this for me, especially not spend money to make me feel happy. "Johnny, I'm sorry about the van and the motel. You don't have to buy me anything. I don't want to be a materialistic bitch. That doesn't matter to me. I can stay in bed with you all day."

"Shut up. We're doing it. It's not just shopping. I can show you around too. You have to at least do other stuff on your vacation than just fuck me. Even though I'm about it."

"Ok, ok, sucrose father." He gave me a laughter filled kiss which I returned with hidden intentions. I swiped my tongue along his bottom lip and cupped the back of his neck.

"Mhm...baby...you want something." He said, seeing through me instantly. "Aren't you sore?"

"Not all that." I eased my way into his lap  "Just wanna warm you. That ok?"

"Hmm...only for a little bit."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, settling my center over him. He held me close too and guided my hips to grind smoothly over him. I avoided his lips so we both wouldn't get too worked up, just enough for him to nestle  inside me and stay there for a little while. "Did you wanna do this this morning?"

"Yeah but you left." I pouted.

He swiped his thumb over my lip and I took it into my mouth, sucking gently. "I got you food didn't I? I made it up to you."

I laid my head on his shoulder while keeping his thumb in my mouth. I hummed a little response and lifted my hips for him to guide himself in. He pressed the head of his cock against my entrance and I sunk down slowly, wincing a bit at my tenderness but the feeling of him inside me made me all cozy and gushy with lovey feelings. Johnny scratched at my head gently and turned the TV on low, not minding me wanting to fall back asleep. "If you don't want to go shopping today, we can do it tomorrow. But my friends are also having a party tomorrow and I'd like it if you met them."

Blegh, socializing. Socializing with my boyfriend's friends. Socializing with people that weren't that great because he only had one good friend. I sighed internally and tried to gauge if I could really take in that much anxiety in one day. Probably not and I would be suffering the entire time but I would do it for him. I would do anything for him.

--

I squeezed Johnny's hand tightly as we walked up the stairs to this ridiculous baby mansion. I had never seen a house this huge before but I guess it's what happened when you were California dreamin'. There was way too many people already and I clung onto him tighter as my breath sped up. The music was way too loud and when I tried calling out to him he didn't hear me even though we we're right next to each other. So I continued to follow wordlessly as he did his social butterfly shit. He was saying hi to people he never mentioned to me and making his way through the crowd until he found a couch for us to sit on. He sat down and set me beside him, his arm loosely around my hips. About a dozen people were circled around us and a few people stared at me including this gorgeous girl who sent me a small smile. I straightened up a bit as I looked her over. She had beautiful skin, a little darker than mine, and braids going all the way down her back with some pink synthetic hair mixed in. She had the coolest punk vest on, all decked out in patches, studs, and distressing. I wanted to ask her about them but my social anxiety was making me shrink away.

Johnny didn't seem to notice our exchange at all. He was too busy laughing at something someone said before he got passed a joint. I rolled my eyes and propped my elbow on my knee, setting my chin in the palm of my hand. "You gonna be social or pout all night?" Johnny asked as he exhaled smoked.

I waved it away instantly. "I am being social, I'm here aren't I? Also you know I hate that stuff. Don't blow the smoke around me."

He rolled his eyes and took another hit before passing it onto the next person. "I would like you to at least talk a bit."

"And what you you like me to say Johnny? That I'd rather be in the hotel? Maybe grinding on you until you begged to be inside me? Do you want me to tell them that?" I was getting snippy because of this atmosphere. I never should've agreed to come but I didn't think it would be this bad.

"Don't be a smartass."

"I'm not. It's the truth."

He looked over at me and leaned in to whisper in my ear. "You need to behave and I mean it."

"Or what?" I challenged. "It's a lot for me to take in at once, ok? You of all people should fucking know how anxiety works."

"There's nothing to be anxious about. It's just a party. We gone to parties dozens of times. It's the same thing."

"It's not…" This was like some fashionista bullshit. Like high roller drugs and top tier liquor everywhere. All sorts of people dancing around through flashing lights and thumping music. It was overwhelming and I was uncomfortable seeing people snort coke off of tables or toss back unknown pills. I didn't know how Johnny could stand this either. This exact environment was the one that got him roped into trouble. I knew it affected him so why wasn't he showing it?

"Just chill and talk. These are my friends and it's important that everyone gets along."

And what if I don't like your friends? I wanted to scream. Why did I have to be friends with your friends? Were your friends the ones acting like fools and looking geeked out of their minds. I sure as hell would've thought you'd be smart enough to not be friends with them either. "Fine." Was all I actually said. "I will try."

Johnny turned away, releasing his arm from around my hips to distract himself with someone else. I was hurt that he seemed so intensely peeved about me feeling this way. He was acting brand new, as if I, as if HE, didn't have social anxiety. He handled his differently. He partied more and I got angry before I got drunk. I was in the angry phase currently. I was about to call it quits right then and there when some guy got close and asked me a question. "So you're Johnny's friend?"

"Friend?" I scoffed. "I don't think "friend" is the right term."

"Ohhhh, so like a fuck buddy thing?"

I was totally confused. Had Johnny not introduced me as his girlfriend? I looked over at him for a second, wondering if it was just a miscommunication error or something he blatantly didn't want people to know. "No, were not fuck buddies. We're together."

"Johnny never told us he had a girlfriend. Did you just start dating?"

I grit my teeth and tried my best to stay calm. What the hell? Why hadn't he told them? Did he want to feel single over here? Did he want to fuck other people while I was at home crying over him? I was fuming.

"Kylo, chill with the 20 questions bro." Johnny laughed. "We're just here to have a good time."

"Sorry! I was just curious! I mean, she is pretty cute after all." Kylo said with a wink in my direction.

Johnny just laughed. He didn't get into his usual jealous or dominating role. He fucking laughed. Who was he right now? We had just had three days of paradisal bliss and now at some party he changes into someone I don't know. I wanted to flirt with this Kylo guy to really test Johnny but  I also wasn't in the mood for whatever karma would come of it. I crossed my arms over my chest and avoided them both. Instead my eyes landed on the beautiful girl who was chuckling. She mouthed something that looked like "he's wack" and nodded towards Johnny.

"That's for damn sure." I said in agreement. She laughed louder, a really sweet and airy sound. I loved it and could feel myself getting flustered. I didn't know why- well I did. It was because girls made me crumble to my knees faster than any man could. But I shouldn't have been acting this way. It just seemed wrong. Suddenly a shrill voice cut through the high strung atmosphere and before I knew it some girl was draped over Johnny's lap and kissing his cheek.

"Johnny!" She practically squealed. "I knew you'd be here!"

At first I was shocked. All I could really do was take in her incredibly expensive, diamond encrusted bracelets, her Yves Saint Laurent tiny purse, and her chanel sunglasses perched atop of overly processed blonde hair. She was just a little miss Paris hilton who was way too comfortable with my man. He let her hang onto him, even putting an arm around her shoulders. Was it really fucking social if I snapped someone's neck?

"Cassie, babe," He joked. "What are you on tonight?!"

"A little coke, a little molly. Just the usual combo."

"Ugh I fucking hate molly. Never again."

Yeah because that's what you took the night you got assaulted and now you're hanging out with someone who does this on the regular? Nothing made sense. Was he even thinking? Also, what was this 'babe' shit? I was the only one he called that!

"I know, I know! Don't worry. You can just have some Percocets and chill for the night. You're so wound up and tense!" She laid her head on his shoulder and looked up at him with doe eyes. I felt the rage building in my fist and I was dead set on punching her in her fucking designer face.

I pushed Johnny back against the couch and leaned into this chicks face, grabbing her shoulder roughly. "Hi I don't think we've met." I growled. "But you need to get your hands off my-"

She gasped, completely ignoring my anger and not taking me seriously. She reached out a manicured claw to try and touch my hair. "Your curls are so pretty! Oh my god! How do you get them to be so nice?! You know I tried a perm once and-" 

I gripped her wrist and yanked her twig like arm away from my head. "Don't. Touch. My. Hair." It was the one thing I absolutely hated. Strangers weren't allowed to touch my hair. Barely anyone was allowed to touch my hair. It was my sacred crown that I took pride in and I'd be damned if little miss cokehead was going to touch it.

"Eri, what the fuck?" Johnny said harshly as he pulled her wrist from my grasp. I glared at him in disbelief. Was he actually defending her?

She rubbed her wrist and held onto him. "Johnny! Why is she being mean?!"

"Oh I'll fucking show you mean." I got up and made a grab for my gauges, ready to square up and get charged with assault. I gave zero fucks right now. I suddenly felt a hand gently wrap around my arm, tugging me away from the situation. "Come walk with me." The beautiful girl from before said. Since Johnny was too fucking busy coddling the bimbo I decided to go with her. I felt a sense of calmness when she touched me, like a connection had suddenly been formed. We moved away from the party altogether and made our way outside to pretentious garden area that was filled with dozens upon dozens of flowers and plants, with a fountain, swing set, and gazebo in the middle of it. 

I was shaking, violently so. I dug my hand into my purse to pull out a cigarette from the carton. I set it between my lips and went to light it but I couldn't keep myself steady enough to ignite it. I was two seconds away from tossing the damn thing when she unfolded my tense fingers and took the lighter from me. She cupped her hand around the flame as it burst forth, making sure the wind wouldn't extinguish it as it caught the end of the cigarette.

"Thank you." I said as I took a deep drag.

She slipped the lighter back into my purse, so smoothly that I barely even noticed.

"So you're Johnny's girl?" She asked in a voice that was a bit husky contrary to her laugh.

"I guess barely! What the fuck is his problem? Who is that chick?! I swear to god! I'm about ready to slit her throat! Why didn't he tell anyone that I was-"

"Hey," she cupped my face gently and I instantly shut up. She smiled down at me and rubbed her thumb against my cheek. "Johnny's an idiot. All he does is hang out with Cassie's drugged up ass so he can score free drugs himself. Then Kylo's a fucking douche that gives him all these shrooms and shit. There's barely a time when were all hanging out that Johnny isn't high. Don't sweat him, chica. You could do way better."

"W-wait you mean he does this continuously? What does he take?" My heart suddenly halted from insane race car speed to devastating crash.

"So far I've seen him do shrooms, weed, percocet, acid. Maybe he does more. I'm not sure. But that's what I've seen."

Suddenly I didn't want to be here anymore. Not just at this party, but not in California and certainly not around him. He left me for drugs, a rusted van to live out of, and some bimbo that was making him an addict. "G-great...just what I need right now. That's exactly what I need right now. I came all the way here to try and make us better and he just makes everything worse. It felt so good before...what the fuck is happening."

"So dump him. What the fuck do you need a man for? Come over to the lesbian side, were much better." She teased.

"Oh," I looked up at her for a moment. "I mean, I'm not straight. I'm pretty gay, trust me." I said.

"But you're dating Johnny?"

"And? I'm still gay. Well queer. Honestly it would take me 87 years to explain my labels but the short version is I fuck anyone and I romantically want anyone. This time around it happened to be him."

"Ahh...well the invitation still stands to join us again. Start off with something way better than that jerk, honestly."

I raised an eyebrow and almost coughed on an inhale of smoke. "Are you like...flirting with me?"

"If it's working then yes, if it's not, then no." She smiled. "I'm Aaliyah by the way."

"I'm Eri...I haven't had someone flirt with me in awhile." I laughed a bit nervously. "I mean Johnny doesn't count."

"Nah, nothing he does counts…" We were quiet for a moment but I hated it because it kept me in my feelings. Thankfully she started back up again not long after. "So, you don't live in Cali do you?"

I shook my head. "I go to school on almost the other side of the country. Johnny graduated and took an internship here, got up and moved, and didn't really warn me. We've been rocky ever since. I thought it was getting a bit better. We didn't leave our hotel room for two days and I'm still sore but I guess sex can't fix anything. I mean I knew that but it kinda always did for us."

"Nah, it's just a bandaid for the problems. I would also recommend completely punching Cassie in the face."

"Why'd you stop me then?" I asked.

"Don't need another sis locked up in jail. Rather have you free and without a record. Trust me, I've wanted to deck her myself plenty of times. She thinks she's amazing because she's rich and can afford all this wack shit. She's got a big problem though. She's high on the daily and no one will get her to rehab."

"I can put her ass in a coma and then she'd really detox." I said as tapped out my ashes.

"Your hair is really beautiful by the way." She said, diverting my anger. "But you're not a damn poodle or something where she had to try and pet you." Aaliyah commented.

"Yeah, I get that all the time. Especially because my hair takes up space. I get old people staring at me, little bastard 13 year olds taking snapchats or whatever of me at the store, and white girls trying to touch me without permission. Can I get Solange Knowles in here please?"

"I know exactly how you feel, especially with my braids. Sometimes I just whip my head around real fast to hit someone with them and they can leave me alone."

I smiled and took another drag. "That's a mood. Why can't people understand personal space?"

"They think people like us were meant to be ogled at, ever since we got pushed onto podiums for sale in the slave trade."

"Ain't that a bitch." I sighed and didn't realize I was leaning in towards her until my shoulder brushed against her arm, which she put around my waist.

I left her arm there, not really sure of what I should do. She was really pretty and super cool but I was with Johnny though he was currently acting like an addict who didn't have a care in the world for me. A complete 180 since yesterday. I felt sad and angry all at the same time and really wish I had someone to comfort me since it felt like I was alone in this battle. "I'm sorry to kind of dump this on you. We just met and i'm telling you about all this bullshit with my boyfriend and-"

"Its fine. I wouldn't mind making you feel better. Just tell me what you need."

Ok, definitely flirting and maybe propositioning me for sex? She leaned in, setting both her hands on my waist, and smirking down at me. "U-uh...a drink would be nice. I like drinking."

"Yeah? I can do that for you. What do you like, babydoll?" Aaliyah said.

"Anything dark."

She smirked. "I could tell." She placed a kiss on my cheek that caught the corner of my mouth a little too closely. "I'll be back in a sec."

Aaliyah left then, retreating back inside the house and leaving me to sit on the swing set. I was trying hard not to cry. Iwnas even trying hard not to text Quinn. Hearing their "I told you so's" right now may not be for the best. Their anger would also trigger mine and I would end up as a giant mess. I snubbed the last of my cig into the ground and crushed it beneath my strappy sandal. What the hell was I going to do?

I wiped away the few tears that were starting to spill over. I wanted to go home now. I stared down at my phone and texted Johnny. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't pretend I was alright at this party now that I had all this newfound information about him. He needed to explain himself and I didn't want it to blow up into a big argument in front of total strangers. He didn't answer back right away, leaving me impatient and more anxious. Aaliyah came back then and handed me a plastic cup. "My special concoction. Drink up."

I tossed it back without another though but regretted it when I felt the sharpest and fiery burn. "Ughh fuck!" There was rarely a time where alcohol made me flinch but this was a disaster. "Jesus, woman, what the hell is in this?"

"Don't worry about it." She said, tipping the cup back again. "It'll get you buzzed easily." Well that was exactly what I needed. I wanted to get stupid drunk. Like walking disaster drunk but I didn't trust her enough yet to do so. "Better with a bit of alcohol in your system now, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess...I asked Johnny if we could just head out."

"You need a man's permission to go somewhere?"

"No, not like that. I mean he drove us here. I don't know my way around here. It's not permission, just...you know."

"Like I said, forget him. We can hang out and chill. Where do you wanna go, hm?"

I scooted a bit away from her, suddenly feeling that moment of calmness wash away. She was being way too friendly and flirty but... should I even try and make Johnny jealous? Would that even do any good? Everything was making me second guess myself. I just wanted everything to go back to being normal. Suddenly I felt her lips on mine which yanked me from my thoughts immediately. My eyes went wide and before I could even raise my hands to push her away I heard Johnny screaming my name. He had stormed over to the swing set and split Aaliyah and I apart. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

Before i could even answer Aaliyah butted in. "She can do whatever she wants."

"THEY don't need to kiss you and they sure as hell aren't going to sleep with you!"

Aaliyah rolled her eyes. "Well THEY seem to need a bit of loving since you'd rather be up Cassie's ass."

"That isn't true! Cassie's just clingy when she's high. It's nothing like that. Eri, get over here."

"You didn't even push her away…" I said. "You just let her hang onto you. You can go on being her druggie boyfriend if you want."

"What? What are you talking about?" Johnny asked, confused.

"You know exactly what I mean. Aaliyah told me about all the shit you're taking. You left me for drugs, some shit van, and partying all the time. Is that what you really wanted? To get away from me?"

Johnny glared at Aaliyah then looked at me. "Come here. We need to talk."

"I'd rather just drink." I whispered.

He tugged me towards him but Aaliyah yanked me back. "Let her go Johnny."

"No, you let them go! They're my girlfriend and we need to talk. Let go."

"Dont pull on me! Either of you!" I dropped both their hands and held my own close to me. "I'll just...i'll just go with him for now and maybe I can come back later or something?" I was giving her false hope of course, but some part of me, amidst confusion, did want to see her again.

She rolled her eyes and stuffed her hands in the pockets of her vest. "Yeah, sure."

Johnny grabbed onto my arm and pulled me away quickly, taking me back to his van. "What the hell are you talking about? Calling me a druggie?? What did she put in your head?"

"She didn't put anything in my head. You're smoking more weed, dropping acid, getting geeked? What the fuck johnny? You had come so far and you're just turning back to who you used to be."

"That's not true. Just because i've tried some stuff doesn't mean i'm a drug addict. How could you say that to me?"

"Because-!" I yelled. "I don't want to date someone like that. It's only time before you try something even harder then i have to find you in a tub with a needle in your arm!"

"Eri, what in the hell are you talking about?! I'm not planning on shooting up heroin or something!"

"Yeah, sure. You can get all you wanted from that stupid bimbo."

"Cassie's a cokehead. She just needs someone to help her." He argued.

"So taking drugs with her is the answer? What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me! Im only 24! I just want to have fun!"

"Well you can have fun without me! I came all this way to fix what we had and you don't care. You don't care at all. You didn't care about leaving me behind. You haven't even said one thing about your internship. You just...you wanted to get away from me. What did i do johnny? What did I do?" I was getting choked up and trying not to cry over him yet again.

"Eri, you didn't do anything. I want new experiences, I want to travel, I want to see the world. I don't want to be cooped up in a boring ass college town. I cant stay there waiting for you to graduate. I needed to do something and this was a good opportunity for me to get out."

"So if you wanted to leave why did you even fucking want me to be your girlfriend?! You said you wouldn't hurt me! You promised, johnny! You! Promised!"

"I'm not trying to hurt you! I just need you to let me spread my wings a bit. It's not like i don't want to be with you. I love you. So fucking much. I'm glad you're here. I want you to be with me."

"Why? So you can fuck me and then ignore me?"

"No! Because-" he sighed and ran his hand over his face. "Even though i want to explore you still keep me grounded. You keep me from going crazy."

"Not really since you're doing all these drugs and partying. How is that being grounded?"

"Why are you so focused on that?! I don't get it!

I slammed my fist against the side of his van. "When you find your fucking uncle overdosed in a bathtub when youre 7 you'll see that drugs arent fucking my thing. And if you try and kill youself in a bathtub you'll spend every second that you're cutting your wrist feeling just like him. Thats why im fucking focused on it Johnny. I didn't even like the fact that you were a pothead when I first met you. That you still are one! But i kept on. I looked past that because i saw you for who you were but i can't look past this."

"Fuck…" He stepped closer to me and I curled away, holding my stinging hand.

"Dont. Just dont…"

He grabbed a hold of me anyway and pulled me to his chest, giving me a hard squeeze. "Babe...i-"

"You called her babe." I snipped.

He exhaled deeply. "It just slipped."

"No it didnt. Dont add liar to your list."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think it was a big deal."

"You don't think anything is a big deal. Do you even want us to be together anymore? Tell me truthfully. Its only been 5 months, Johnny, almost a year if you want to count us fucking around." I shoved him away and glared up at him. "Tell me."

"I…" He pushed his hair back and looked away.

"Oohh!" I laughed as my voice cracked and tears started to fall. "So thats how its going to be? All that shit in the back of your car meant nothing then?"

"I didn't say anything!"

"Your hesitation said it all. Just…take me back to the hotel. I'll see if I can get an earlier flight to go back home."

"No, no, no! Please don't go back home. Eri, i want to be with you. I want to. I want to."

"You want to? Then fucking act like it, Johnny Suh. I dont have time for fucking little boys that want to play games. I want a real man that can own up to his shit and treats me like i'm important. I want my daddy to take care of me and make me feel safe, not make me have to worry about what he's doing states away."

He leaned down and set his forehead against mine. "I want to make you feel all that. Just dont leave yet. I can't have you leave. Will you stay?"

"I don't know. Just take me home. And don't ever bring me to one of his high roller Beverly Hills movie ass parties again. Ever. I mean it."

"I won't, baby." He took my sore hand in his and rubbed his thumb over my knuckles, giving it a gentle massage. "Let’s go back." I got in and crossed my arms over my chest, staring out the window. He got in as well and started up the engine, beginning the semi lengthy drive back. He tried reaching over to set his hand on my leg but I pulled away. "Please don't be like this…"

"Like what? Pissed off?"

"No I mean...just like let me at least try and make it up to you."

"How you gonna do that? Hmm? You would have a hell of a lot of making up to do."

"Let me try. It's the least I can do."

"Fine. Whatever."

We stayed quiet and I closed my eyes, wishing that this whole trip was over. A few tears were still falling down and I left them there, wanting him to see the suffering he caused me. I sniffed a bit and tried not to turn my breath into a hyperventilating mess. The drive seemed too short for us to be at the hotel and when I opened my eyes I saw we had arrived at a beach. Beaches seemed to just pop up whenever you needed them here. I liked that at least about this place. Everything was deserted and the end of the parking area matched up almost perfectly to the sand. "Did I say take me here?" I snapped.

"I know it's not the hotel but I know the beach is your favorite place to be. I’ve messed it up at that beach party last year, and I messed up tonight's party so I was hoping that maybe this would work.”

"Yeah, you messed up the beach. The literal place that is my sanctuary and make me feel close to home. Good job."

He shut off the engine and crawled into the back of the van, opening the back doors. "Can you come here?"

I looked back at him. "What for?"

"Just come." He extended his hand and I reluctantly crawled around the back seat to sit on his mattress, both our legs dangling over the edge. Outside I could see the stars much clearer and the sea breeze was crisp against the overwhelming heat of California. I was thankful to not sweat at least for a moment. "I never meant to hurt you or make you cry, Eri. It wasn't my intention at all. You mean the world to me but we're so intense it can be overwhelming sometimes. And it is true. I did want to get out of our stupid college town. It had nothing to do with you but rather with me being sick of that fucking place. I've been there for years and it drove me crazy. It wasn't to run away from you."

"The internship in of itself," he continued. "Is not exactly what I wanted it to be. I get assignments and stuff but it isn't the exciting stuff I want to do. Mostly I'm in the office doing desk shit and editing photos. I don't mind the editing I just," he shrugged. "It's not thrilling but it'll look good on my resume in the future. As for the drugs...I'm sorry about your uncle, I really am. I'm sorry about how that affected you when you tried to commit suicide. I don't make good decisions. I never really have. Drugs are like my escape. It's nice not to think about shit sometimes. I don't do it nearly as much as Aaliyah made it out to be-which by the way she definitely wanted to fuck you."

"Oh, I know."

"Were you...gonna do it?"

"You're asking me if I was gonna cheat on you?"

"I don't know...I don't think you would've but I know you basically hate me…"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't hate you. Don't be a damn baby. I wasn't going to fuck her. If she tried anything I would've shoved her away just like any man. I want my boyfriend. I just felt lonely. I wanted some comfort…"

He pulled me closer to him and set my head on his chest. "I want you to feel safe. I want you to feel like I love you. I want you to tell me anything and everything. I'm there for you and I fucked up...if you want me to, I can stop doing drugs. Maybe not weed-i got my med card here- but everything else I can."

I sighed and wiped away the leftover tears. "I'm just scared. I've had that feeling since I was a kid. You said you wouldn't do something harder but that's what they all say. Then it gets worse and worse. I was really close to him. He and my mom got into a lot of fights but he cared about me. I didn't know it was bad, I mean, I was just a kid. How was I supposed to know what drugs were? I don't want you to end up like that. I know it seems impossible but it just...haunts me."

He kissed the top of my head and took my wrist in his hand gently. His thumb rubbed over the scar that I tried to hide with tattoos. I never thought he noticed. Maybe he had noticed all my scars. I had tried to tattoo over them all but some were fresher than others. "I can see why and I don't blame you. If I stop taking drugs will you stop drinking? We can get sober together…"

"I can try…" I sad rather sadly and unconfident.

"How much do you drink a day?"

"Never enough to get drunk but a buzz is fine. Couple ales or wine coolers, maybe a bit of brown liquor. Like a fifth of the bottle? Whole bottle lasts me about 5 days or so."

"Christ…"

"Guess I'm a hypocrite, huh?" I came to that pathetic realization all too late.

"No. I don't have that trauma that you do, seeing your uncle and all. But that doesn't mean that I want to lose you to drinking either. Do you still go to therapy?"

"Yeah and get my meds changed but it's been a little...bit worse since you left. Not that I want to put that on you but it's just been happening."

"You can take one of my shirts back if you want. I know it's not much but I know you like them."

I nodded and clung to him, not sure if I completely forgave him but finally feeling like we were at least connecting again. "Do you still sleep with the rillakuma?"

"Of course. I have to now." He chuckled lightheartedly. "It's just as comforting to me as my shirts are to you."

"I sleep in your hoodies sometimes too. They're nice and roomy."

"Yeah I know. You basically have them all." He nudged his face against mine, playfully but also ended up connecting our lips. He paused after we separated but kept his close distance. "Do you forgive me?"

"I don't know yet. I feel a lot of things right now. Maybe I just need some time to think."

"Oh…" He sounded extremely disappointed. "Do you still want to go home?"

"I think I would want to spend a few more nights with you…" I squeezed his hand lightly.

"Thank you. I really want that. I promise to make this trip worthwhile."

"Well...the sex was pretty good at least. My ass still kind of hurts though."

"It was...phew..uh…" He wiped his other hand on his jeans and I saw his cheeks flush.

"You can admit you like anal now, you know."

"I'm on the fence, okay? Let's just leave it at that."

"Mhm...sure."

"Do you want to watch the stars with me?" He asked suddenly. That was a pretty sweet gesture I had to admit. Something straight out of a cheesy romance movie but still sweet nonetheless. 

"Yeah, that sounds nice actually."

He scooted back onto the mattress and took off his shoes, tossing them over the back seat. I did the same with my sandals and we both leaned back onto the pillows, looking out into the night sky that was littered with bright white orbs. We didn't say much, just relaxed beneath the moon, hearing the waves lapping at the Earth. Johnny set a soft playlist to play on his phone and kept it beside him, adding something to fill the otherwise silent space between us. I closed my eyes and focused on letting myself go, trying to make my heart less heavy and remind myself why I fell in love with him in the first place. That was when I felt his pinky lock with mine. Memories came flooding back; every time he made me laugh, the hurt we had been through, all the trust that I gave him and no one else. There was so much invested in us. I had no idea if I really wanted to let it go.

He was humming now, softly, strumming his fingers against his chest to the beat. When I looked over I saw that his eyes were closed as well and I wondered what he was thinking about. "Johnny?"

"Yes?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"What am I going to do after this internship is over. I don't know where I want to go. Maybe try and find some jobs in Chicago, maybe New York, cities where I can expand and maybe do a lot more."

"Do you want us to be long distance?"

"Not particularly, no. But I know you want to finish school. That's important. You're not going to quit just because you want to follow me around the world. Maybe when next summer rolls around and you graduate you can come travel with me."

"Do you think we can really be together for a whole other year?"

"Yeah. Don't you?" He asked.

"Yeah...I do." I squeezed his pinky tighter. "I do want to be with you Johnny. For a long long time."

[streetlites]

This was hour 8 of a 24-hour flight to The Citadel and my ass was already numb. Any novelty of being in space had quickly worn off by the second hour when it became extremely clear that space was so called because there was so much of it and so very little to see. I fidgeted with the screen in front of me to turn it back to a sitcom that I had already watched 3 times but would never be shown to completion unless I paid 20 credits for an hour of access. Which I wouldn’t.

A chime sounded and the ‘fasten seatbelts’ signs lit up. The guy to my right sighed ‘shit’ and put his laptop away. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” a voice crackled in the overhead speakers. “The captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign. Please be seated and check to see that your seatbelt is securely fastened. If you are in one of the treadmill terminals, remain where you are and securely fasten your harness to your person. Flight attendants will be by to ensure all luggage is secured. Please pass any remaining service items to them at this time. Thank you.”

“What’s going on?” I asked my seat-mate as a chorus of groans sounds through the cabin. I’d never been on a flight before but their reactions had me expecting something bad. I hoped it would only be mildly annoying. If we were going to crash into something, they’d tell you, right?

“They’re going to announce a delay,” he tells me and reaches into a pocket in his suit, producing a small pill bottle.

“How do you know?”

“Because there’s no turbulence out here unless you fly too close to a planet and since,” he gestures to the window, black and dotted with stars but no planets to be seen. “They’re probably working on the Charon Relay again and have traffic backed up. It got fried at the end of The War and they’ve been patching it together ever since. Wish they’d get someone who knew what the hell they were doing for once.”

“Oh shit. How long do you think it’ll be?” I ask, feeling annoyed by the possible delay despite not really having plans once I got in to the station.

“If we’re lucky, a couple of hours – but don’t count on it. Most likely, we’ll sit around for a couple of days.”

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Exactly. Which is why I’m going to take a Xanax and check out. Do you want one?”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks,” I tell him as he drops a pill into my palm.

He adjusts himself in his seat to get comfortable and I look around the cabin. Some people are loudly complaining about their layovers that they’re going to miss; the guy shakes his head in disapproval. “I don’t know why they’re complaining for – everyone knows you have to schedule your layovers days apart. If I have a job or an appointment I absolutely have to be on time to, I try to get a week lead.”

I nod, not really understanding. I’m watching the flight attendant argue with a guy two seats up - “Sir, the Captain has turned on the ‘fasten seatbelt sign’, please remain seated.”

“I don’t care what the Captain has turned on! I have to use the bathroom!”

“I can assure you that it will not be on for long, please wait in your seat until he gives the okay.”

“Listen, I have a condition and, if I don’t get to a bathroom right away, I will be unable to hold it. And, if I piss myself, I will not clean it up and I will have my dry-cleaning bill sent to you personally! Do you have any idea how much it costs to have one of these suits professionally cleaned?! You will!”

The flight attendant sighs, “Fine but I’d like to remind you of the waver you signed before getting on the plane. United will not be liable for any injuries that occur in zero gravity or when turning on the gravity well for passengers not secured to their seats.”

“Oh, fuck you and your waver! I know how to handle myself in Zero G! I’ve definitely flown more than you ever have. Now, get out of my way and let me pass!”

“Yes, sir.” The attendant shakes his head and continues towards us, checking the overhead bins and seatbelts.

When he gets to us, the man beside me hands him his cups and leans toward the other man, “You’re going to let his ass drop, aren’t you?” He asks, conspirationally.

“Honey, I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about,” the flight attendant responds.

Seat-mate nods, “Mmm-hmm.” Which earns him a giggle from the other man.

I reach to try to save my cup of flat soda from being thrown away, the flight attendant lightly batting my hands. “Sorry, no open containers in Zero G. Don’t worry, I’ll be by after the announcement with Nutrino Blocks and water.”

“Nutrino Blocks?” I ask, the very sound of it drying my mouth.

“Yes, and they’re every bit as appetizing as they sound,” the man says, his face twisting in distaste.

“You guys got any beer back there?”

“Of course, they’re $30 a bottle.”

“For a beer?!”

“Sweetie, I don’t set the prices, I just work here.” He tells me, jerking on both mine and my partner’s seatbelts and then stands to check our overhead.

“You guys take cash?”

The man pauses and peers down at me, “Cash?”

“Yeah, like UNAS dollars.”

“Well, yes, but,” he pauses, as if the notion that I’m carrying cash is grinding his brain to a halt. “You’re taking cash to The Citadel?”

I look at both men who are staring at me in open, disapproving disbelief. “Yes?” I answer slowly.

The flight attendant gasps, his fingers of one hand splayed against his chest, “Oh, honey, no. You must not have done any research on that place before coming out. And, to think, you spent five thousand?” He looks at me and gauges the number is higher. “Six? Six thousand to come out to that nasty space station when you could have only spent one and went to beautiful, sunny, Sulani instead.” He shakes his head, “I’m going to bring you that beer, but we’re going to need to talk.” He looks at the man seated beside me, “Help him, please.”

“Man, in about twenty minutes I’m not even going to be able to help myself,” my seat-mate quips.

The attendant nods and points at me, “I’ll be back.”

“You’re a biotic,” the man says, not really a question.

“I- uh,” I don’t really know how to answer. Maybe? I wasn’t sure myself.

“My son is, too. And, if I would have known, I would’ve done the same thing. I’ve stayed at my shit job because the insurance covers his suppressants and mech suit but he wouldn’t need the mech suit if it weren’t for the suppressants.” He sighs. “You don’t have to take suppressants out in Council space but no one will sign a visa for a known biotic unless their parent has a job out there.” He shakes his head, “It’s not right what they’re doing. My kid deserves to have a childhood, you know? I’m spending all my vacation days just to come out here and do interviews.”

“Wow. Good luck, man.” I say. I’d never really thought about what happened to biotics. I wasn’t one and didn’t know any, so, why would I?

“Yeah, you, too. I think that guy is flirting with you but you really need to know what you’re getting yourself into. The Citadel is a lot like Earth if you’ve got money; very comfortable. But, if not? It’s worse because there’s nowhere else to go to escape the bad.” A chime sounds, “Oh, here we go. I hope it’s only a few hours delay.”

“Good evening, this is your captain speaking. I’ve received word that work is being performed on the Charon Relay. Our current ETA has been pushed back by eighteen hours. As a reminder, you may use the terminals on the seat immediately in front of you to access United’s extranet site to reschedule your flights free of charge at any time. I will be turning off the ‘fasten seatbelt’ signs momentarily and flight attendants will be by to dispense our complimentary dinner of Nutrino Blocks. If you wish to upgrade your meal, we have options of a chicken or fish dinner available. While I have your attention, I’d like to remind you that our flight attendants have applications for our United Credit Card on hand that you can receive approval for while in flight and use here to gain points. Perhaps on a nice chicken dinner?” He chuckles and, I swear, I see everyone in my line of sight narrow their eyes with annoyance. “The attendants will be more than happy to help as they make their rounds. Thank you for choosing United.”

A chime sounds again and the seatbelt light goes off, my body feeling heavy as the gravity well on the ship is turned on. There’s a scream from behind me as the Bathroom Guy comes crashing down, skidding on his face in the aisle.

In the distance, a baby begins to cry...

[ryansfabray]

Dance For Me | Ryantana

Who: Ryan Fabray-Lynn & Santana Lopez @subtanaxlopez

Where: Dance Studio

When: Tuesday 9.15.20

What: Santana confronts Ryan about ignoring her texts. Explanations. Then a dance demonstration. 

Santana

Santana was feeling that familiar hurt again, the one where the Fabray sister had fucked her over and she was left feeling like an idiot. But this time she wasn’t going to wait until she caught the other woman pants down with her Dominant or whatever, instead she grabbed hold of the switch Fabrays hand right as she passed the dance studio. “What the fuck? Why are you ignoring my texts?” She hissed. “You know I put myself out there, and it’s really fucking rude that you think you can just drop me like a sack of shit.”

Ryan

Ryan was unaware of the affect she had on Santana by getting her phone taken away. In the chaos that was her morning conversation with Nate, she forgot to retrieve her phone and computer from him before dropping her things off at Jo’s. She would need to do that before Nate or Silas came home. Which meant she would probably be skipping Glee. She could have done it during lunch, but instead she found herself drifting to the dance studio. Ryan didn’t have a clue of why she was going to do, and she certainly wasn’t expected to be pulled by the wrist and pulled into the studio. Confusion was etched on her face until it clicked. “Okay, first of all I’m not ignoring you. My phone got taken away. And I’m not dropping you like a sack of anything.” Ryan felt so off balance without her collar that she didn’t even realize all the conversations she’d dropped and wondered if they all thought she was ignoring them like Santana. “But you’ve got my attention. What did you send me?” Ryan held out her hand, waiting for Santana to hand over her phone.

Santana

Santana was ready to unleash her venom completely on the other woman, still stinging from what had happened with Quinn but then other woman’s rational explanation had her pausing the speech that she had planned about Ryan being a fake top who couldn’t follow through. “Well.. I don’t do this shit alright? I don’t.. do the whole titles spiel or... like be friendly.” She muttered as she handed over the phone so Ryan could see the messages. You’re so fucking pussy whipped. Her inner voice muttered, she felt shyer watching the other girl read the word Master than she had typing it while she was thinking with her vagina.

Ryan

Ryan read over the text as Santana explained why she was behaving the way she was and just looked up at her with a smirk. “And now that you’re here in person, I’m going to want to hear you call me Master in person.” It was the perfect distraction from what was going on in her life. “Then while we’re here you can go ahead and show me these routines of yours, hm?”

Santana

Santana folded her arms protectively as Ryan finished reading, and then took her phone back. “Did you like what you read... Master?” The Latina asked, yes that was hot, confirmed. The horny part of her brain was already picturing Ryan in leather. “I don’t have my shoes on me..” she admitted. “But I’m more than happy to show you.. Master.” There it was again, still so fucking hot.

Ryan

Ryan’s smirk grew. She loved hearing it in person even more. Licking her lips, she nodded. “I do like the way that sounds.” Ryan was already picturing putting the other girl on her knees. She was far prettier in person and had a wit that matched her own. The perfect distraction. “We can add the shoes later. I just want to see how your body moves.” This time it was Ryan wrapping slim fingers around the other girl’s wrist and pulling her towards the pole she had set up months ago. Then she took a seat in a nearby chair. “Pole dance or lap dance, your choice.”

Santana

The submissive couldn’t help but smirk when Ryan said she liked how it sounded, her confidence re-entering her body. “Oh it moves Master.” She promised, letting the title roll more easily off her tongue. The Latina put one hand on the pole, giving herself a little spin as a warm up. And Abulea has claimed she never learned anything useful from those classes at the community centre. “How about I start on the pole and then I make my way over?” She suggested with an arched eyebrow.

Ryan

Ryan absolutely loved the way 'Master' sounded coming off of Santana's tongue and the wave of power she felt when it was directed at her. It was like a form of rebranding. She went from calling someone that and now she could claim it all on her own. "I bet it does." Ryan was taught to sit a certain way and sometimes she fell back into her debutante ways, but for this particular situation, Ryan sat back, legs spread for whenever Santana worked up the courage to come forward and occupy that space. "I think that sounds like an excellent plan." Ryan pulled the speaker out of her bag and left the blue tooth open for Santana to connect her phone and start her routine. "Don't keep me waiting too long, hm?"

Santana

Santana smirked when Ryan asked her not to keep her waiting. “I would never keep you waiting Master.” She purred, leaving her spot momentarily to find ‘Needed Me’ and then returning to the metal, gripping the pole as the music started. Spinning twice more before she slid her body slowly down it, crotch pressing against the metal suggestively. As the tempo of the music climbed the brunette stripped off her hoodie,  tossing it to the side. She knew that her moves weren’t all that complex, but hyper sexual was what she didn’t best. Shedding her leggings next, she twisted into the splits. Abandoning the pole to crawl towards Ryan.

Ryan

"Mm, that's a good girl." Perhaps it was a good thing her phone got taken away. Because this interaction would have never happened. Ryan watched intently as Rihanna's voice filled the studio and as Santana acquainted herself with the pole. For someone who claimed to not have any experience, it was clear to Ryan that she knew exactly what she was doing. Santana captivated her in a way most people couldn't. When ahs approached her, Ryan leaned forward and spread her legs. "You certainly look damn good. Let's see how you feel, hm? Up on my lap, little devil."

Santana

Shit, she was a dumb bitch because that 'good girl' had gone straight to her cunt. The brunette slid her hands slowly up Ryans legs before she actually slid into her lap. "Little devil is right Master, I taste like sin." The latina purred in Ryans ear, before she turned in her lap, grinding her ass against the other girl. God this was electric and despite the setting it was somehow better than any shitty lap dance she'd ever given under club lights.

Ryan

For someone who claimed to need lessons, Santana sure did know how to work that body of hers. When she climbed into Ryan's lap and purred into her ear, the Switch couldn't help but think of all the ways she would like to bend her over and fuck her. So hard that she couldn't walk for days. Or force her down on her knees just so the Latina was at her disposal. She pressed her hands to the other girl's hips, just so she could slow down her movements and savor the feeling of Santana in her lap. "Seems to me like you didn't need a lesson at all. I think you just wanted a reason to be in my lap. Hm?"

Santana

Santana made a purring noise that she didn’t all together recognise as Ryan pressed her hands to her hips. “I mean, I’m sure you could still very much give me a run for my money. However.. I did very much like the idea of being in your lap Master. I liked the idea of being close to you full stop.” The Latina purred as she leaned up to run her hands down Ryan’s shoulders,

Ryan

There seemed to be no need for pretense as far as Santana was concerned and Ryan appreciated that. Even if is was in the confines of their own privacy. She smiled brightly at the other girl, pushing her tongue between teeth and smacking Santana's ass playfully. "Is that right? And exactly how close are you hoping to get to me, hm?" Ryan grabbed her ass fully this time, then pulled her forward as much as she could go. "Because I'm sure more than a lap dance can be arranged."