#i hope you don't mind i'm using from our conversation

[spaceorphan18]

[spocksbedsidemanner]

.

[i-get-obsessed-fast]

Oh baby | Criminal Minds

.・゜✭・. Spencer Reid x F!Reader .・゜✭・.

Summary: you and Spencer unexpectedly become parents despite not being together officially

A/N: This is probs my fav fic I’ve written, so far. Hope you guys love it<3 lmk your thots:D also not proof-read I just wanted to get something posted.

BYR(b4 u Reid): Kind of a situationship?, nervous and scared Reid | kissing lol <- [warnings]

You woke up feeling absolutely miserable, maybe even worse than a hangover. A wave of nausea hit you hard, sending you rushing to your bathroom.

Dropping to your knees in front of your toilet, you barely had a second to catch your breath before you started throwing up, your stomach twisting with each heave “gross” you muttered

Flushing the toilet, and brushing your teeth you run to your alarm reading the time 7:30 am

Thirty minutes before you had to be at your desk

You throw on something work-appropriate but comfortable, not having energy to put much effort into your appearance after the rough start to your morning

As you walk towards the door, your eyes flicker to your calendar. Something makes you pause, and you decide to check it

A sinking feeling settles into your stomach when you see it’s around the time you’re supposed to start your cycle, but you quickly brush it off not wanting to stress yourself out even more

Cycles change all the time you convinced yourself it was just happening to you

As soon as the elevator doors opened, you hurried out, making a beeline for your desk.

“Just in time.” Spencer noted as you arrived

“I was worried I was going to be late.”

“You had exactly one minute to spare.” He held up a cup of coffee “I picked it up on the way.”

You took the cup but eyed him skeptically before grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards a quieter corner, his brows furrowed in confusion

“It’s a nice gesture, really,” you said as you lifted up the cup “But this looks a little suspicious.”

“Getting you coffee is suspicious?” He questioned

You sighed “I just don’t want the team in our business. They’re already catching on, and I’d rather keep this between us.”

He considered that for a moment before nodding “If it helps, I’ll buy Derek coffee tomorrow to throw them off.” He suggested

You couldn’t help but smile “you’re annoying.”

Spencer chuckled, then, to your surprise, laced his fingers with yours “you know.” He said matter of factly “If anything looks suspicious, it’s you pulling me somewhere private for a conversation.”

You nodded agreeing with him “You’re right.” and with that you let go of his hand “I’ll talk to you later.” you say as you walk away from the tall gorgeous man

You’d be lying if you said you didn't miss the way your fingers felt together or the sounds that leave his mouth when he laughs

It was like music to your ears

You know you shouldn't feel that way since what you guys have isn’t official, and you didn’t want to get hurt.

A few days have passed and it was like each day was worser than the last, now it was headaches, fatigue, nausea all creeping in at the worst moments

But you're convinced its just a bug, between the stress of the last case you and your team did and the lack of sleep it makes sense that your body is shutting down

Except, your girl friends at the BAU don't believe that one bit

“Geez, you look pale.” JJ says as she leans against your desk, arms crossed “And she’s been running to the bathroom a lot.” Emily joins in

You wave them off “I'm just coming down with something”

“Yeah that's what you said yesterday, and the day before.” Penelope recalls “What is this an intervention?” you question

“Nope, just your friends worried about you.” JJ says as she shared a knowing look with Emily and Pen

“It’s nothing.” you assured them

“Hey, I brought you some tea.” Spencer says as he joins the group, setting a cup down in front of you. His eyes scan your face with concern “you look sick.”

Your stomach twists at his comment “Do I really look that bad?” you ask feeling a bit insecure

Spencer's eyes widen slightly, he stumbles on his words “No-no, not bad. I just meant… you seem unwell. That's all.”

Emily smirks, shaking her head “Way to go, Dr. Reid.” she grabs her files and walks off

JJ gives you a sympathetic look as she stands “And that's our cue to leave. Come on, Penelope.” Garcia leans in as she follows JJ “Feel better sunshine.” she says before disappearing down the hall

Spencer shifts on his feet “I’m sorry. I shouldn't of had said it like that.”

You sigh, feeling guilty for your reaction “It’s okay. I’m just feeling extra sensitive today. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.”

He studies you for a moment, then lowers his voice “Have you thought about seeing a doctor? You've been sick for awhile now.”

You shake your head quickly “It’s not that serious.” but Spencer doesn't look convinced “Well…If you need anything, I'm right here.

You offer him a smile “Thanks, Spence.”

As he walks away, you stare at the tea he left behind. The more you think about it, the more unease settles in your chest. What if this isn’t just a stomach bug? What if it’s something worse.

And worse than that, what if you’re right?

As soon as lunch rolled around, you grabbed JJ, Emily, and Penelope by the arms “Come with me. Now.”

“Where are we going?” Garcia asked, eyeing you curiously “A store.” You hesitated, lowering your voice “I need a test.”

All three of them stopped in their tracks, wide eyed “Like a test test?” JJ asked, eyebrows raised, you nodded the fear in your eyes answering for you

“Okay.” Emily said already walking “Let’s go.”

“Wouldn’t you want to do this with…you know, whoever might’ve done this?”

“Uh, no. He’s busy.” You said quickly, leading them toward the exit, but just as you reached the door, Morgan and Spencer appeared

“Hey, where are you guys headed?” Morgan asked “Yeah, I thought we were all getting lunch at Caesars.” Spencer added, Rossi standing beside him

JJ reacted fast “We’re getting medicine for y/n” Spencer frowned “Oh I can come. I know which one will work best.”

“No, no, no, we got it.” Garcia said quickly waving him off Spencer narrowed his eyes, clearly sensing something was off, but eventually nodded “Alright. See you later.”

The four of you bolted out the door.

Inside the store, you stood frozen in front of all the pregnancy test selections, overwhelmed.

“Why are there so many?” You groaned, scanning the shelves “These are easy to read.” JJ said, grabbing a Clear Blue and handing it to you

You grimaced “Do I have to put it on the register?”

Emily snorted “You literally profile murderers for a living, but you’re scared to purchase a pregnancy test?”

“No wonder you might be pregnant” Garcia teased “Were you too scared to buy condoms too?”

You shot them a glare “Hilarious.”

JJ rolled her eyes and grabbed the test from your hand “I’ll put it down.” you sighed in relief “Thank you.”

At the register, you all smiled stiffly at the cashier as he rang it up. He barely acknowledged you guys, but that didn't stop you from feeling widely judged.

Back at the BAU, the four of you rushed to the restroom.

“Pee on the stick, wait five minutes, and we’ll either celebrate or cry.” JJ instructed “Your call.”

You exhaled, feeling like you were preparing for battle “Alright.” Stepping into the stall, you did what you had to do, then set the rest down on the counter, turning it away from you

“Timer is set.” Garcia announced, your heart pounded, you knew what the results was going to be, and that terrified you more than anything

The four of you sat in silence on the restroom floor, gross, but none of you cared right now. The weight of the situation hung heavy in the air

“Time’s up.” Garcia finally said glancing at you with concern, you swallowed hard “I can't look.”

“Want us to?” Emily offered you nodded “Please”

JJ picked it up first. The three of them leaned in, their expressions unreadable. Then, without a word JJ handed it to you

Your hands trembled as you looked down

Pregnant

Your heart dropped, and a lump formed in your throat, but you refused to break. Not here, not now. Instead, you slowly nodded, forcing out a breath “okay”

“So…is this good or bad?” Garcia asked, studying your face, you opened your mouth, then closed it “I don't know.” you admit

“Are you going to tell him?” JJ asked gently, you nodded “eventually.”

Emily places a reassuring hand on your shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze “We’ll give you time to process, when you're ready, we’re here.”

Each of them gives you a small, comforting smile before slipping out of the restroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You leaned back against the wall, staring at the ceiling

“Why? Why? Why?” you whispered to yourself

This wasn't just about you.

This was about Spencer.

Your coworker.

A man you weren't even in a relationship with.

How the hell were you going to tell him?

You stepped out the restroom, exhausted and ready to be anywhere but here. Your body felt heavy, your mind even more so. All you wanted was to crawl into bed and shut the world out.

“Hey! We’re still on for tonight?”

The familiar voice made you stop in your tracks. Of course it was Spencer.

“Tonight?” You frowned, genuinely confused

He gave you a puzzled look “Movie night? At my place? Like it has been every Friday for the past six months?”

“Oh…right.” You let out an awkward laugh, and rubbed the back of your neck “Sorry, I’m just- are you sure you want me there? I don’t want to get you sick.” You say even though you knew what you had wasn’t contagious

“I’ll be fine.” He said with a small smile “I can disinfect everything.”

You hesitated before nodding “then, I’ll be there.” “Great.”

Silence settled between you two, he looked at you like he knew something was off, and part of you wanted to just say it right then and there.

“Well, I should get back to my files.” You said quickly making an excuse to leave.

Before you could slip away, he gently grabbed your hand “Are you sure you’re alright?” His voice was quieter now, more concerned.

“Yes, Spencer, I’m fine.” You forced a reassuring smile, but his eyes searched yours unconvinced

“Did I…do something?”

“What? No!” Your stomach knotted at the thought of him blaming himself “why would you think that?”

He hesitated “Just how you’ve been acting recently, I want to know if it’s because of me.”

You sighed, squeezing his hand before pulling away “It’s not you, I promise.”

He nodded but the uncertainty was still there “Okay.”

With that, you turned and walked back to your desk, diving into your files, forcing yourself to focus. For a couple hours, it worked. You got lost in the work, grateful for the temporary escape— until a voice whispered right into your ear

“So… who’s the father?”

You jumped, nearly knocking over your coffee “Jesus Garcia.” She grinned unapologetically “Sorry, did I scare the baby?”

You glared at her “No, you scared me.” She leaned in closer “Can I take a guess?”

You gave her a warning look “You don’t know him.”

Garcia scoffed “Sweetie, I know this guy. Anyone with a pair of eyes can tell just by the way you two interact. You guys are getting it on.”

Your face burned “Penelope.”

She wiggled her eyebrows “So, it is who I think it is.” You sighed, lowering your voice “You have to keep this a secret. Please.”

She immediately sobered, nodding “Of course, but you are telling him, right?”

You swallowed hard, glancing over at Spencer who was talking to Hotch across the room “Yeah.”

“I’m happy for you guys, no matter what you choose to do.” Garcia said warmly you gave her a small grateful smile

“Thank you. I just- I don’t know what to do. I know my options, obviously, but I don’t think I can go through with that. But at the same time, I don’t want to do this if Spencer isn’t ready. I don’t want to hold him back.”

Garcia shook her head “Look, he loves you. It’s so obvious the little things he does for you, the way he talks about you when you aren’t around. He is going to be ready.”

You let out a deep sigh, looking down at your hands “we’re not even together.” The admission felt embarrassing, like it somehow made everything worse

“Honey, you know Spencer. It takes him awhile, but he’ll come around to making it official. He’s just scared.” You exhaled leaning back into your chair

“Yeah…maybe.”

“not maybe— definitely” she corrected “Just give him time.”

The work day ended, and you had finally returned home, you threw yourself on your bed still in your work clothes but too lazy to change

You laid there deep in your thoughts until you drifted off to sleep

You weren’t sure how long you had been out but there was knocking at your door that woke you

You looked through the hole and seen it was Spencer, he looked worried “Spencer?” You question as you open the door allowing him to enter

“I was calling, you never answered. I got worried.” He tells you as he looks at you scanning to make sure you were alright “I fell asleep, I’m so sorry.” You apologize “no it’s okay. I’m just happy you’re safe.”

“Today was exhausting.” You admitted. He gave you a look of understanding “Can I do anything to help?”

Your cheeks warmed at the sincerity in his voice. He was always quick to offer whatever he could “No, it’s alright.”

“Are you sure? I give great massages.” He teased, a small smirk playing on his lips, you let out a small laugh “I’m sure, Spencer. How about we just watch a movie?”

He nodded, clearly liking the idea “what are you in the mood for?”

You thought for a moment. After everything today, you just wanted something comforting, something that reminded you of simpler times

“The Fox and the Hound.”

Spencer’s face lit up with a soft smile “That’s a good one.”

“Can you set it up while I change?” You asked “of course.” Spencer replied without hesitation

You stepped into your room, closing the door behind you. As you emptied your pockets your fingers brushed against the pregnancy test. You sighed, staring at it for a moment before tucking it away in your nightstand drawer

Once you had changed into something more comfortable, you walked back out, expecting to see Spencer in the living room but he wasn’t there. You glanced around and spotted him in the kitchen.

“I decided we needed popcorn.” He casually said as he poured some into a bowl “That’s a good idea.” You smiled

Settling on the couch, you grabbed the remote as Spencer joined you, sitting down beside you with the bowl in hand.

You pressed play and it didn’t take long for you to immersive yourself in the familiar comfort of the movie

The movie held your full attention, so much so that you barely noticed every time your hand brushed against Spencer's in the popcorn bowl.

It had always been your favorite movie as a kid, but now watching it while being pregnant, it felt different.

Then came the scene, the scene that always broke your heart as a child and even now as an adult

The little old lady drives off in her car, away from the Fox leaving him in the woods to be free. It felt like it hit you harder then ever before, and suddenly you couldn’t hold back the tears

Spencer turned his head, noticing the way your shoulders shook “Are you crying?” He asked softly “no.” You lied even as you wiped at your cheeks

You let out a small, embarrassed laugh, trying to play it off. Spencer shook his head, shifting to face you. Without a word, he reached out, gently brushing away a stray tear “Hey, it’s alright. It’s a sad scene.” he agreed

Your eyes met his “I think I could use that massage now.” a small smile played on his lips “I think you could too.”

You turned around, away from his gaze, and pulled your hair to the side giving him full access to your back. His hands found your shoulders, pressing in firmly. The tension in your muscles melted under his touch.

“You’re tense.” He murmured. You sighed, eyes fluttering shut “that feels good.”

“So, what’s been on your mind?” He asked your eyes snapped open “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been really stressed lately, today especially. You told me it’s not me, so… what is it?”

You hesitated, knowing this was the moment. You couldn’t keep avoiding it.

“Spencer.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper, his hands stilled “yeah?”

You turned to face him, fresh tears slipping down your cheeks. His stomach dropped, he didn’t know what you were about to say.

“Hold on.” You murmured, quickly getting up. You rushed to your room, grabbing the test from your nightstand. When you returned, Spencer was watching you carefully, his brows furrowed in concern

You sat down, heart pounding “I have something to show you.” You say as you hold out the test to him, Spencer took it hesitantly, his eyes scanning the results

His lips parted slightly “oh.”

That single word terrified you

You weren’t sure what he was thinking.

Spencer on the other hand, his mind was racing so fast he couldn’t form a single coherent thought. His fingers tightened around the plastic stick.

“Say something.” You say as you watch him intently, his head snapped up, eyes wide, searching yours as if trying to piece together a puzzle with missing pieces “You’re…pregnant.” He said

You nodded “yeah.”

Spencer swallowed hard, looking back down at the test, then back to you “it’s mines..right?” He questioned hopeful that you wouldn’t have been with anyone else “of course it’s yours.” You said quickly, feeling a strange mix of emotions, offense, anxiety, fear.

“Right. No, I-i didn’t mean it like that, I just-” he exhaled sharply, shaking his head as he tried to process “This is…a lot.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Spencer went quiet again, his mind clearly catching up to reality.

And then, finally, he looked at you “How are you feeling?” He softly asked “I don’t know. Scared, overwhelmed.” You admitted

Spencer nodded and reached for your hand, taking it in his, it felt warm and grounding.

Spencer hesitated for a moment before taking his hand away and reaching into his pocket, pulling out a small, folded piece of paper. He held it up between you.

“I’ve been carrying this around for a while.” He admitted “It’s a list… of all the reasons I think we’re perfect for each other.”

Your breath caught “Spence-”

“I’m not finished.” He said quickly, his eyes pleading with you to let him get it all out “I’ve been planning to tell you for so long. Too long. I should’ve said something the moment I realized it was you.”

You just stared at him, heart pounding, and he cleared his throat “I even calculated the probability of a successful relationship based on compatibility factors and shared interests.” He let out a small, nervous laugh

That made you smile. Without thinking, you reached for his hand, giving it a soft squeeze

“I want to be with you.” He said, his voice quieter now, more vulnerable “But don’t say yes because of the baby. Say yes because you want me the way I want you.”

His eyes searched yours “say something?” He whispered, you swallowed hard, then nodded towards the paper “Can I read it?”

Relief washed over his face as he handed it to you without hesitation “You just carry it around?”

He nodded, a small, shy smile tugging at his lips “It reminds me of you. So even when you’re not with me, it still feels like you are.”

Your chest ached, and you smiled at him with tears in your eyes “I want to be with you.” You say

Spencer had never felt anything like this before, it was overwhelming in the best way, pure happiness, the kind he never thought he’d get to have.

Despite the fear of the unknown, he knew one thing for certain, he was happy it was you he was going to experience this with.

He pulled you into him, the embrace feeling both familiar and new. This time, there was no more unspoken words, no more uncertainty. Just the two of you, together, exactly as you were meant to be

“So…do the girls know?” He asked, remembering how strangely they all had been acting at lunch, you nodded “They were with me when I found out.”

Spencer exhaled, his eyes softening “I wish I had been there.”

“I know.” You murmured guilt tugging at your chest “I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head “I just, I don’t want to miss anything. Not with you, not with this baby. Every doctors visit, every sick day, every moment, I want to be there.”

His sincerity made your heart ache in the best way “I want you to be there too.”

His fingers gently tilted your chin before he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. It was soft, and lingering.

When his tongue traced along your bottom lip, asking for more, you gave in without hesitation.

After he pulled away, he smiled, his eyes full of wonder “I can’t wait to see you grow.” You brushed a hand over his cheek, returning his smile “I can’t wait to see you become the best dad.”

Should I make this into a mini series ? Where the next part can be them telling the team? 🤭 next chapter -> Family | Criminal Minds

check out my other works<3 here

[loves0phelia]

hello! hope you’re okay after the ending, honestly I don’t think any of us are.

I wanted to request a rafe x pogue reader where it’s that boat storm scene and instead of Sarah falling it’s reader and she’s just drowning and Rafe jumps in after her. He doesn’t know why he did it but he just has a soft spot for her and it’s just really angsty but also cute.

thanks! I love your account btw!

In The Sea

Summery: the anon

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: grammar mistakes

A\N: thank you to everyone who has been requesting it makes me very happy xxx

You stand at the edge of the deck, clutching the railing as the boat rocks, waves rolling against the hull. The salty breeze whips your hair around your face, and the peaceful ocean sounds made you think about the current situation.

You didn't expect Rafe to save you and your friends from being arrested, much less expect him to find a boat big and resistant enough to drive you all to Morocco Africa to find the blue crown. It was truly a surprise considering you and Rafe's history.

“So what? Are we just on our way to Africa now?” Kiara asked the group as if she couldn't believe that Rafe Cameron was willingly helping them.

“Quick little weekend trip?” She added to her previous sentence.

“What about Rafe? We know what he did to the cross and now we want to go after the crown with him?” You and the rest of the pogue's lips go into a thin line at the memory.

“Sarah, you're his family, how do deal with him” John B said, finding no other options.

“I don't- I don't know, I think maybe y/n might have a chance of convincing him to behave but..” she shrugged and you felt the stares of your friends burn holes through you. Your past relationship with him was a secret to nobody.

“We- we just have to talk to him, or at least try” You proposed earning a frown from JJ.

“Talk to Rafe? When has he ever just communicated with us?” 

“Talking to him is the only option we have, but you're definitely not talking with him,” John B said and as expected everyone nodded and hummed, agreeing. JJ was in no place to talk with Rafe.

“Why not? What did I do?” He asked, getting almost frustrated.

“We all know you and him are far from being civil, the last thing we need is you triggering him and causing trouble” His girlfriend, Kiara, tried to explain the easiest way but he still got defensive. After a couple of bickering from JJ and John b You finally decide to go speak with him, who was driving the boat not too far away from the deck.

“Hey,” You knock on the metal and rusted door before entering and walking up to him. His eyes catch yours and there's a tension between the two of you. But Rafe only tilts his head to acknowledge you.

You swallow, feeling the weight of his stare. "We just want to talk," you say, steadying your voice as the rest of your friends beside JJ follow behind you.

“All right let's talk” Rafe chuckles, and it’s low, almost a whisper. 

Your mind goes almost blank as you take him in, you haven't been this close since you were forced in the same room by Sighs men last year. You had almost forgotten how much you missed him.

“You guys be cool I'll be cool” His voice snapped you out of your daydream, realizing you had missed a bit of the conversation.

“So now you want peace?” Pope leaned back and scoffed, not believing a word that came out of his mouth.

“I just saved all your asses, how about a thank you?” He glanced at all of you one by one, but he only earned silence,

“Listen I don't want any part of your little fairytale treasure hunt bullshit, I'm just looking for Groff” He’s breathing heavily, holding himself back from adding more snark,

“Hey, Rafe!” Before anyone can react, JJ’s fist flies through the air, cracking against Rafe’s jaw with a force that echoes.

Rafe’s head snaps back, his expression stunned for a split second before he crumples, hitting the hard metal floor. For a moment, everyone is frantic, staring at the lifeless form sprawled across the floor, his eyes closed, completely knocked out.

“holy shit”

“Jesus JJ what's your problem”

“Whoo that felt good” Tired of JJ's crazy actions the girls walk away shaking their heads in disbelief until you are the only one staying behind.

JJ stands over him, breathing heavily, the adrenaline still pulsing through him as he looks down at Rafe. His fist is red, already bruising, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“What is wrong with you?” You look at him, feeling a rush of shock mixed with panic. You fall to your knees next to Rafe and quickly look over his injuries, softly rubbing your thumb on his jaw.   “If he didn't do it I was going to do it” Pope added only worsening the situation. You shook your head and furrowed your eyebrows at his sentence.

After the pogues agreed it was probably not a good idea to let Rafe free in case he woke up and decided to shoot you all with his “peacemaker” you tied him up in a small cabin. His head hung low, his wrists were bound to a stainless steel pole and his legs were uncomfortably folded beneath him. Your heart clenched at the sight of him but still decided to leave him there until he woke up.

You open the door to the cabin slowly with a tray of warmed-up canned spaghetti in hand, it wasn't the best but it was all the boat had.

“I brought you food..” You whispered before bending down to place the tray in front of him.

“great” he sighed.

“I found aspirin in the medicine cabinet, I figured you'd have a headache, maybe even a concussion” 

“Right… are you gonna throw it in my mouth like a seal or something” He scoffed again clearly angered,

“They don't trust you Rafe… but if you do the right thing maybe they will open up a little bit”

“I am doing the right thing! I helped you” He tried pulling against the restraints but failed. 

“I know okay? I know but unfortunately, I don't have a choice but to let you in here until we get there, I'm sorry” you whispered and pushed the tray closer to him. “Please eat,” You said and left closing the large door behind you.

For a moment you stayed behind the door listening closely. “Y/N come back!” he grunts and kicks his feet on the ground. “Fucking untie me please!!” he screamed and you jumped when you heard the tray you had just put down on the floor fly into the wall.

Pope leaning over the side, is the first to spot the flicker of movement beneath the water. "Guys! I see one!" exclaims, his voice a mixture of excitement and focus. He scrambles for the fishing rod, almost knocking over the tackle box in his rush.

John B is right beside him, laughing. “We've got our dinner!" he laughs.

“Guys, this one’s huge!” Kie giggles with the boys knowing we were all set for dinner time tonight.

You all spent the rest of the day cooking the fish you caught and preparing side dishes with some good music in the background.

Until it was time for Rafa's second meal.

You open the door carefully and his eyes catch yours, this time you don't speak, simply set the tray of seasoned salmon down in front of him.

Has you were about to close the door you hear him.

“Wait, y/n. Can you please- can you give me the fork” his tone is much softer than before so you can't deny him. 

You get down and pick up the utensil his bound hands couldn’t reach.

“Thank you” He murmured, and you barely heard him as you closed the door behind you once again.

The sky darkens ominously as thunder rumbles in the distance, low and threatening. Waves crash harder against the hull of the boat, tossing it with a force that leaves you gripping onto anything within reach. The storm monitor flashes red to show the storm coming ahead of you.

“That's not good,” John B says.

“We're gonna have to try to blast through it,” Pope says, not finding any better options.

“Why can't we go south?” Kie asks genuinely.

“The current is gonna be against us we don't have a choice” John B agreed even after trying to find safer options, the boat's roar has Pope push the lever controlling the engine to the max. 

The waves make the boat shift side to side making it difficult to stay up and steady.

Another massive wave crashes over the side, drenching them all, and you lose your footing, sliding across the deck until Kie grabs your arm, pulling you back.

“Hold on to something” Kie yells at you pope and Sarah and you all grip onto the nearest thing.

“Hey!” a distant voice echoes through the walls.

“Cut me loose! Y/N! Somebody!” Rafe screamed and banged his fists on the wall.

“Get me out of here!” Everyone listens but doesn't move a finger.

“We have to let him out” You scramble to your feet but jerk back when Cleo grabs your wrist.

“No!” she says trying to stop you but you pulled back.

“He's gonna drown” You pull open rapidly the drawers trying to find something sharp, able to cut the thick ropes wrapped around Rafe's hands.

The storm is relentless, its fury tossing you around like a rag doll as you try to reach him.  

You cling to the railing, struggling to stay upright as the boat lurches violently, nearly sending you sprawling across the floor. Your legs buckle under you. You come crashing through the door and walk onto the water-soaked floor knife in hand.

“Cut me loose” he begs.

Crouching in front of him you began frantically cutting the rope. Your muscles burn with how much pressure you're using.

“Shit,” You say when a sudden jerk of the boat makes your face come inches apart from his, lips almost touching. You don't have time to think as you regain your balance and continue cutting the bounds.

“There! Come on” you yelled and quickly grasped his hands to pull him up from the floor.

You both run to shelter but the boat jerks side to side even more violently,

“Something is wrong I have to go see!” 

“No!” Rafe tried holding on to you but you were already rushing away onto the deck where waves came crashing, a massive wave rose out of the dark, towering over the boat like a shadow.

You barely had time to think before it crashed down, an icy, unforgiving wall of water that slammed into you with the force of a sledgehammer. The impact was too strong and you were thrown backward, landing hard on the deck. Pain explodes through your shoulder, the wind knocks from your lungs. Dazed and gasping, you try to get up, but the boat tips again, and before you can stand, another wave strikes.

This one is worse, merciless, catching you just as you struggle to rise. Your fingers graze the edge of the railing, but the slick metal slips through your grasp. In an instant, the world spins as you are thrown away from the boat, the cold, raging ocean swallowing you whole.

The water is a shock, freezing and chaotic, disorienting you as you plunge beneath the surface. You thrash, fighting to reach the surface, lungs burning, but the waves toss you back and forth, each effort to rise met with another rush of icy water.

Back on the boat, Rafe catches a glimpse of you disappearing over the side, and his heart stops. “Y/N!” he screams, panic cutting through the storm. Without a second thought, he scrambles to the railing, nearly slipping himself as he peers out into the dark, searching for any sign of you.

“Where is she!” Sarah came rushing to her brother

“She fell overboard” he yells already reaching for a rope with the floating boyee. He’s soaked, exhausted, and barely steady, but there’s no hesitation as he jumps in after you.

“Rafe no!” She screams after her brother.

A wave slams into Rafe. “Y/N!!” he yells in the water as he sees you trying to stay above the water far away.

With the last of your strength, You swim faster and harder towards Rafe and reach out when you're near, fingers brushing his arm, grasping it tight. Rafe holds you with everything he has.

“I got you” But you don't hear him in the storm.

You both hold on to each other your arms around his neck and his around your waist as the boat floats away and the night turns into a void.

“Hey, open your eyes, look at me” You feel gentle hands grasping on your face as you finally sit up coughing out the water that filled your lungs.

“That's it” The hands rub your back in a comforting way.

The sand is hot beneath you, warming up your skin, and with exhaustion, you fall onto Rafe's chest.

“Hey you okay?” panicked, he grabs onto your shoulder and pushes you a little bit to take a good look at your face.

“You jumped after me,” you whispered.

“Of course I did”  You look up at him, heart pounding, feeling a rush of gratitude, fear, and something deeper—something that’s been smouldering beneath the surface, unspoken, for far too long. Your eyes shine with tears, not sad and not happy either but grateful. 

His hand reaches up, brushing a strand of wet hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your skin. His touch is warm, and grounding, and you feel your heart racing even faster under his gaze, intense and unreadable, like he’s seeing you for the first time.

Without another thought, you lean in, closing the space between the two of you as you press your lips to his, a spark igniting into a wildfire the moment you connect. Rafe’s surprise melts away instantly, and he kisses back, fierce and unrestrained, his hands finding your waist.

The kiss is charged, fueled by adrenaline, and a longing that neither of you can deny any longer. Your hands find his shoulders, clinging to him, grounding you in his warmth, his strength, the feel of his heartbeat thundering beneath your touch. 

Rafe’s fingers trail up your back, sending shivers along your spine, and his lips move against yours with an urgency that speaks of everything left unspoken.

When you finally pull apart, breathless, Rafe’s forehead rests against yours, his eyes searching yours as he lets out a shaky laugh, almost in disbelief.

“You saved my life” you smile, brushing a thumb over his cheek, still feeling the warmth of his kiss lingering on your lips. “I love you, I've always loved you” you whisper, and before you know it, you're kissing again, the ocean waves crashing nearby, the world forgotten as you lose yourselves in each other.

“I never stopped loving you,” he whispered.

Send request xxx

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Who Is My Heart Waiting For? | Jeon Jungkook | One Shot

Summary: Getting closer to one of the staff members on tour didn’t seem like such a bad idea…that is until Jungkook realizes that his feelings for her are more than just platonic. Pairing: Staff f!reader x Rockstar!Jungkook (pov) Word Count: 14k~ (I've legit been working on this since July lol) Warnings: Explicit language but that's it a/n: I made this with Jimin in mind (since it's his song) but no one was really vibing with it (unfortunately) so I figured I'd change it to Jungkook. I hope you guys like it! Inspired by Who by Jimin (Rock Remix)

"Ayo JK!" our keys player Tyler calls out as we all stumble through the green room doors, throughly exhausted after playing our third encore of the night. "Did you see the way that little hottie in the front row was looking at you?" he says, his description of whatever girl he's talking about incredibly vague.

"You'll have to be a little more specific Ty, there were plenty of hotties in the front row" I throw back, rolling my eyes and opening the water bottle one of the staff gave me. "The little blondie in the red dress?" he offers, his description yet still vague helps me sort through the girls that had been screaming our names throughout the show.

"She was practically drooling" he continues poking fun at her and I can't help but want to shift the attention away from her. "I mean I would too if I were her" I say, throwing out a cocky comment like I always do. It's no secret that I know I'm hot and after that concert high it takes a second for me to come back down to earth.

"You're the front man for a reason I guess" our drummer Zach says, sticks still in hand, tapping on whatever surface he can reach. "Don't give him a bigger head than he already has Z" Asher our lead guitarist says, rounding out the rest of our band with Leo our bassist chiming in soon after.

"Gotta give the man some credit though. I think I saw a girl pass out after he made eye contact with her" he teases, leaving Zach clapping me on the back making me stumble from the sheer force of it.

Leo chuckles when he sees the glare I send Zack's way but it's gone when he slumps down on the couch next to him. "Thanks" I grumble while rolling my shoulder, him being the one chuckling now, the intensity he had been using while banging on those drums still in full effect.

"Anyways" Tyler says, bringing the conversation back to where it had started "I bet she's still out there...waiting for you...hoping she'll be your girl for the night" he taunts winking to add fire to flame my protest against the idea.

"You know I don't do that anymore" I mumble, walking over to grab my phone and seeing that Sage is still blowing it up. "Why don't you just block her? She's obviously psycho if she thinks that you're still gonna go back to her after all the shit she put you through" he says, bringing up past memories from my last relationship that I would really rather forget.

"Ty stop" Leo warns, coming to my defense when he sees how tense I've gotten from the way he's been bad mouthing my ex. "Why? We all know she deserves it" he presses, leaving me balling my hands into fists, seriously considering shutting him up but when I turn around Ash's hand is already clamping down on my wrist.

"Just let it go" he mumbles, leaving me relaxing my hands knowing that he's right but I'm still ticked off.

"I need some air" I huff, pulling my wrist out of his grasp and shoving the back door open, leading to the fenced off parking lot behind the venue, a convenient place where I can breathe in the cool night air. 

It's become a routine I'm accustom to whenever Tyler gets on my nerves at this point and after clearing my head for what feels like mere moments I hear footsteps making their way over to me.

"I don't wanna hear it Ash, I'm fine" I sigh, my back resting against the side of the building, head hanging low, focused on the rocks I'm toying with.

"I'm not Ash" the voice says and my head pops up, watching as the familiar form gets closer. "And I didn't come here to lecture you" she says, mirroring my posture and leaning up against the wall beside me.

"Hey Strings" I mumble the name I gave y/n, one of our newish staff members. "You probably heard all that huh?" I ask and she shrugs her shoulders. "Not all of it but I'm pretty sure I got the gist of it" she admits, shoving her hands in her hoodie to shield them from the cool breeze that's blown our way.

"You should head back inside. I don't want you to catch a cold" I nod towards the door and she scoffs. "I should be the one saying that to you Mr. Lead Singer. Last time I checked we still have a couple more shows left" she scolds and I chuckle under my breath, shaking my head.

"What happened to not lecturing me?" I raise a brow at her and she crosses her arms, biting her tongue and going back to keeping her promise.

"As long as you're out here, I'm out here" she argues and I mirror her posture.

"Don't come crying to me when you feel like shit in the morning" I say and she scoffs in response "Then you better not come crying to me either" she says and I smile, knowing that she'll be at my mercy if I need her.

"That's your job though isn't it Princess?" I say, my voice dropping and I relish in the reaction she gives me. Her eyes widen a bit but if you blinked you would've missed it and she turns her head to hide the fact that my words effected her.

"Don't call me that" she mumbles and I laugh, bumping my shoulder against her's, "You know I was just teasing you y/n" I say and she shakes her head. "Don't call me that either" she protests and I can't help but want to keep toying with her.

"Why not? That's your name isn't it?" I say, poking her in the side, making her jump and whack my arm without hesitation. "It's Strings, anything else sounds weird coming out of your mouth" she says and I smile.

"I thought you hated that name" I chuckle and she sighs, "It's...grown on me" she mumbles and I hum, content that it seems we've gotten closer.

"Seems like you've gotten a lot better at restringing our guitars though so I might have to come up with a new nickname for you. Perhaps Sticks" I say, tapping my chin and remembering how she dropped a box of Zack's backup drum sticks the other day.

"Strings is just fine since it might as well be carved into my skin from all the times they broke on me" she says in reference to the many many times she had messed up when she started working with us on our last tour.

"I'll never forget the day we met" I say and she cringes, "One hell of a first impression huh?" she scoffs, still embarrassed to this day.

"Well when your first impression of your new crew member is a shy 'Hello' and the next second their thumb is getting sliced open by a rouge guitar string then yeah I guess you could say that's one way to be remembered" I chuckle and she slides down the wall, resting on her heels and curling up into a ball.

"Oh come on it wasn't that bad" I say, crouching down next to her but she shakes her head, "I'm never gonna live that one down huh?" she groans. "Probably not, but it was a great ice breaker...or I guess skin slicer" I say, trying to make a joke out of it but it doesn't go over well when she groans again and refuses to say anything else.

"You're lucky I was able to take you to the hospital since everyone else was busy" I say, my teasing nature with her relentless as always. "I wouldn't call it lucky since I had to listen to your whiney singing the whole way there" she retorts and I gasp, feigning offense but this is the same song and dance we have every time this memory is brought up.

"People would pay to hear this whiney voice sing. Oh right...they do" I retort and she huffs, standing up to lean against the wall again and I follow her in suit.

"You alright though?" she asks and I breathe out, trying to figure out how to keep my temper in check. "I swear that man is more interested in getting me laid than he is in himself" I say and she chuckles, listening wordlessly and waiting for me to get it all off my chest.

"I don't understand why he's so obsessed with the fact that I'm not sleeping around. Sage and I broke up right before we went on tour and all he's been doing is trying to pawn me off to whatever girl he's noticed has got her eye on me. If he doesn't have a girl on his arm yet then he's concerned about getting one under mine" I ramble and she nods along.

"He claims it's gonna help me blow off some steam but the only time I feel the need to do that is when he's ticking me off again" I finish, trying to slow my breathing so I don't get myself too worked up again.

"He's just trying to look out for you but I will admit he's probably not going about it in the healthiest way...but he means well" she tries to remind me and I know she's right, but something about the way he goes about it just rubs me the wrong way. 

"Yeah I know" I mumble running a hand through my hair in an effort to brush off the emotions this whole ordeal is bringing me.

"You wanna get out of here?" she asks making me chuckle. "That's my line" a wicked grin spreading across my lips making her push off the wall and walk away. "Suit yourself" she says, brushing off my teasing as me declining her invitation. 

"Hey wait up! I didn't say no" I protest jogging over to her and draping my arm around her shoulders, leaning on her so she stumbles and tries to push me off.

"You're pushing your luck here" she says but I wrap my other arm around her as well and follow her to the car that's parked next to the tour bus. "Liz gave you the keys?" I ask, surprised that our manager is letting her take the car for a spin.

"Not in so many words. She told me to look after you so I figured I would need a car to do that properly" she relays and when I walk over to the drivers side first and hold out my hand she tosses me the keys.

"If she tries to chew your ass out about it just tell her it was my idea" I say and she rolls her eyes before we both sink down into our seats. "Can't have my favorite staff member getting fired now can I?" I say and she sighs. "Don't let Liz hear you saying that or I'll really get fired" she warns and I turn the key in the ignition to start the car.

"Everyone knows you're my favorite, Strings" I say and she crosses her arms over her chest and slumps down into the seat. I take that as a good reaction since she usually gets shy when I say stuff like this but I'll have mercy on her this time and just enjoy our night together.

"So what's the plan?" I ask, putting the car in reverse before heading to the exit and out onto the street. "Turn left" she says and I smile, "So it's a surprise huh?" I say and she rolls her eyes. "It's more of you don't need to know until we get there, plus it's not anything crazy so don't get your hopes up" so I do as she says and follow her directions that take us to a diner on the other side of town.

"How did you know where this was without looking it up?" I ask, getting out of the car and walking with her to the entrance. "I have my ways" she says and picks up the pace, leaving me walking behind her and watching her make it there before me. 

She's a peculiar one I'll give her that.

"Come on loser let's go! I'm hungry" she calls out and I scoff and jog over to her. "Hungry? From what?" I say and she glares, looking me up and down. "From taking care of you guys all day. What else?". 

I know she works hard but it's fun to tease her like this.

"Sitting back and relaxing while admiring me" I say and she rolls her eyes, so much so that I would be concerned that they would get stuck at the back of her head if she tried to do it again. 

"More like running ramped and being at all of your beck and call. Do you know how difficult it is to take care of five man childs and one very strict overlord?" she scoffs, the last part in reference to our manager.

"Man child?" I say crossing my arms and she nods her head without hesitation. "You sure there's five of them? And all this time thought we were friends" I pout but she doesn't give in.

"What would you call what we're doing right now?" she asks, sitting down at the booth that the waitress leads us to. "A date?" I say with a smirk on my face and she shakes her head and starts looking through the menu.

"More like feeding a whiney hangry baby who needs my help to survive" she say and now I'm the one rolling my eyes. "I swear, your favorite insult is getting a little bit tired isn't it?" I say and she smirks. 

"Well what would you call that thing that you do when you're singing then?" she asks "A cry or sometimes a growl depending on the song" I tease, throwing an arm around the back of the booth leaving her sliding away from me to create some distance but I slide towards her to keep her close against her best efforts.

"Why do you always feel the need to be so close to me?" she grumbles, accepting defeat once we're almost all the way at the other end of the booth with one good scoot, had she taken it leaving her falling on her ass.

"Because I like being close to you. Plus you're always mumbling whenever we're in public places so this is the only way I can hear you" I reply while making excuses and she scoffs, muttering something inaudible under her breath.

"See I couldn't even guess what you could've possibly said" I say to prove my point. "Because it wasn't for your ears dumbass. Now figure out what you're gonna eat before I let you starve" she says, shoving a menu towards me.

I chuckle and flip through it and eventually we're giving the waitress our orders leaving me turning to face Strings once she's gone.

"Why do you always treat me like a nuisance when we're out in public?" I question and she takes a very long sip of her water to avoid answering right away. "Because you are" she answers and pulls her phone out to check a message that just came in and when I see the name 'Alex' pop up on her screen I get a little disheartened for some weird reason.

When she unlocks her phone I catch a quick glimpse of their conversation and it's full of messages planning for them to meet up. "Who's Alex?" I ask and she locks her phone immediately.

"A friend, not that it's any of your business" she replies curtly and her pointed answer kicks me in the gut. "What kind of friend?" I ask, trying to get more information before making assumptions but she gives me nothing.

"Just a friend alright?" she says and takes another drink of water making me let out a sigh, scooting back and giving both of us some air to breathe. She takes it as a chance to respond to the messages and when more come in I catch a hint of a smile and I scoff.

"What?" she asks, clearly confused with my reaction. "Seems like they're a lot more than just a friend from the way you're smiling at their replies" I nod towards her phone and she locks the screen again and places it in her bag.

"Fine, happy?" she says, showing that she'll give me her full attention now in hopes to change the subject and before I have a chance to try the waitress comes back with our food. "Did you two lovebirds need anything else?" the middle aged woman teases, trying to lighten the mood since she can clearly sense the hostility between the two of us.

"Oh we're not toge-" "Could we actually get some hot sauce? My girl loves her food extra spicy" I say, cutting off her denial of our suspected relationship. "Of course" the woman says and takes a bottle from another table and places it right next to Strings. "Just give me a shout if you need anything else" she says and I thank her before she heads off to help another table.

"I don't like hot sauce" Strings says, pushing the bottle away from her and I chuckle, "Yeah I know, but I do" I say and add a few drops on my burger. "You're so weird" she says before popping a fry in her mouth. "At least I don't eat like a child" I retort and she glares at me.

"Chicken strips and fries are the safest option okay? They're hard to fuck up. Unlike the monstrosity of a burger you got. Can you even fit that thing in your mouth?" she asks, watching as I pick it up and smush it down, trying to make it a little easier on myself.

"Only one way to find out" I say, opening wide and doing my best to take a bite but half the topping spill out the other side and she chokes on the water she had been sipping, finding my struggle hilarious. "Yeah yeah laugh it up" I say, rolling my eyes at her and grabbing some napkins for the both of us.

After we both clean up to a certain extent she looks between me and the burger, "You know famous people are supposed to keep up some sort of an image right?" she teases. "Don't remind me" I groan and rest my head against the wall behind us.

"Come here" she says a few seconds later and I look at her questioningly but sit up nonetheless and when I get close enough she grabs my chin and looks at my lips. "What are you do-" I start off but the next second she's placing a damp napkin on the side of my mouth to wipe off whatever sauce that was clearly still on my face.

"Now hurry up and finish eating. Liz will kill me if I'm the one that's keeping you out too late this time, plus I told her I'd bring something back for the rest of the guys too" she informs, tossing the napkin to the side as if that didn't just happen.

I clear my throat and sit back again, eating a fry or two, thankful that my hair is a little longer now otherwise she would've see how red my ears had gotten from something as simple as that.

I stay pretty silent through out the rest of the meal, nodding and humming when a verbal response is somewhat needed since I'm trying to limit the need for me to talk to her after she threw me off like that. Constantly keeping food in my mouth as an excuse to hide my flustered state.

"You're gonna choke if you don't slow down" she says and an image comes to my mind that I would rather not admit leaving me fulfilling her warning and choking on the rest of the burger I had in my mouth.

"I swear it's like you need me to take care of everything at this point" she teases, rolling her eyes at me and giving me the rest of her water so I can clear my throat after half of that bite got lodged in my windpipe.

After getting it all down and being able to breathe again I thank her sheepishly, thoroughly embarrassed with the scene I just caused but luckily the eyes that were watching us were little to none. Our only audience being some men who clearly just got off their overnight shifts and a few drunkards trying to sober up before going home.

"You alright?" she asks after having waved the waitress over to take our to-go order as well as bring over a couple more glasses of water. "Yeah I'm fine, it's just really good" I say, coming up with a subpar excuse and she narrows her eyes at me but takes my word for it.

"Just take smaller bites if you're gonna finish the rest of that, I can't have you throwing up when we get back to the hotel" she warns and I nod my head before taking another bite and making sure to do as she says this time.

"I'm glad you like the food though, I've been here a few times but I've always just ordered the same thing so I was scared that you wouldn't like it. Plus it was the only place around here that was still open so there wasn't really any other option" she admits and when I'm about to ask her why she knows about this place the waitress comes back with the order.

"That was fast" I say and she thanks the waitress before responding to me. "I placed the order a while ago so they were almost done with it and just waiting to box it all up" she says and I nod.

"You know you're really good at this stuff" I compliment and she looks over at me, clearly confused. "Ordering food? It's a pretty simple skill I would think" she says after standing up and grabbing one of the bags but when she tries to grab another I'm quick to carry the rest.

"Well yeah, but like planning things out so that everything is there on time and having back up for everything no matter if it's something like equipment or even a wardrobe change if the guys are being more careless than usual" I say and she nods her head, now understanding a bit more but she just shrugs.

"It's kinda my job to be good at that stuff otherwise I would've gotten fired a long time ago" she says and I shake my head and thank her as she holds the door open for me since I'm the one with my hands completely full otherwise I would argue for it to be the other way around, even though she hates when I do stuff like that.

"I'm here to take care of you and your needs so I'm pretty sure I'll survive if I open the door for you" she would argue but I always win no matter what she says. Although we've come to a compromise with me graciously allowing her to open the car door for herself but even that was a struggle.

"Strings I know you're all independent or whatever but that doesn't mean I can't be a gentleman" I would say when she first started working for us but she would be so against it no matter what.

"Just go live your rockstar life and let me fade into the background alright? I don't need anyone staring at us because you're the one taking care of me" she argues back and although she's right I'm not the kind of guy to let this all go to my head.

Have we had some mishaps because people have seen the two of us alone together? Yes, but that's not something I was ever worried about. 

Well maybe not until tonight...

"Do you know where we're going?" she asks me, referring to the hotel we're staying at but I honestly have no clue so I toss her the keys and get in the passenger seat this time and throughout the whole drive I can't help but steal glances at her.

"What's wrong?" she asks when we hit a red light and I'm shocked that she caught me. 

So much for being sneaky about it. 

"Nothing. Why?" I ask, playing the fool but she doesn't fall for it. "Am I the one with something on my face now?" she chuckles and starts driving again when the light turns green, the roads almost empty making the red lights only last a second.

"No" I say and look out my window so I'm completely turned away from her. "Then why do you keep looking at me?" she asks and when I try to come up with something I luckily find a questions that's been bugging me all night.

"How come you know your way around town already? I mean we haven't had to pull up directions or anything. It's as if you somehow memorized the whole city" I say and she chuckles. "Maybe I did" she teases but I don't believe it for a second. "That's a bit of a stretch even for you Strings" I chuckle and she scoffs at me.

"I thought you said I was good at my job?" she counters but I can't hold my laugh back. "I think I've known you long enough to know that navigation isn't your strong suit" I tease and she shakes her head.

"Remind me to never take you out again" she grumbles and I coo at her. "Aw come on, I'm only joking. You can't just leave me alone to fend for myself with those guys" and she turns into the parking lot and turns off the car once she's parked it around the back next to our bus.

"Aren't you supposed to like your bandmates?" she asks, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening the back door to grab some of the food while I do the same with the rest of it. "Of course I like them, but not as much as I like you" I tease and she rolls her eyes at me.

"Sweet talking will get you nowhere Jeon" she says, using my last name to create some playful distance between us. "Aw come on Strings don't call me that...unless you want me to start calling you y/n again?" I taunt and she shakes her head.

"Do and die" she warns and opens the door to the suite a few of the guys are sharing which happens to be where everyone is waiting for us with baited breath from the looks on the guy's faces.

"Where have you guys been? We thought you had left us here to starve" Leo whines, playing it up as if they hadn't already ate the food Strings ordered for them after the show.

"Didn't you guys eat like five pizzas already?" y/n asks placing the food down on the table and stepping back real quick, learning from past experience how they like to pounce whenever there's food around.

"We did but we're growing boys" Tyler says, his face already stuffed with a huge bite of his burger. "You're twenty six" y/n argues and he furrows his brow, "So? I grew five inches the last time I checked my height" he says after swallowing his way too big of bite and drinking one of the sodas that came with their meals.

"That's because the last time you measured yourself before then was when you were sixteen" Zack teases and Ty throws a napkin at him but the smile is wiped off his face once he sees the glare Asher gave him, daring him to throw something again. "Whatever" Tyler mumbles and focuses on eating his food while the rest of the guys pick up the conversation.

"Aren't you guys gonna eat too?" Ash asks but when y/n tries to respond I jump in and hook an arm around her shoulders. "She took me out on a date so we took our sweet time eating together" I say pulling her closer to me when she tries to get away.

"No, I had us eat there since you guys had already devoured all the food I had brought after the show and I was starving and couldn't wait to eat until we came back" she argues while trying to push me and wriggle out of my hold leaving me eventually loosening my grip when she pinches my side.

"Enough, no fighting with the talent. If you wanna fight someone you can fight Zack" Liz scolds while coming out of no where and picking up one of the drinks, absorbed in her phone no doubt checking in with the venue for the next stop on our tour.

"You're only saying that because you know I can't take him huh?" y/n points out and Liz hums in response, grabbing the bag out of my hand that y/n had set aside for her leaving Zack teasing y/n trying to convince her to arm wrestle him or something like that but I leave them behind, opting to follow Liz to see if she knows anything about this 'Alex' character.

"Haven't heard of 'em but from what you've told me it's probably some guy she likes" she offers before taking a bite out of her burger. Looks like all of us were craving burgers tonight but I can't help but notice how unsettled my stomach has been ever since I saw those texts.

"They talked about meeting up though so I'm a little bit confused about that since she's still working for the next few days right?" I ask, having taken note that her days off are usually Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

"She asked to switch her days to tomorrow and Monday. Now that you mention it though she had talked about bringing a friend to the show. I guess you'll figure out who this mysterious Alex is then. Or you could always, ya know, ask her" she says nodding towards where Zack has somehow convinced Tyler to arm wrestle him instead while y/n is on her phone again, trying so hard to ignore them but losing the battle and peering over ever once in a while.

I can't help but shake this weird feeling again and it's driving me nuts. What it could be I have no clue but I decide to just push it aside and head to bed for the night, hoping I can somehow sleep it off.

"I'm heading to bed" I announce to no one in particular but y/n jumps at the chance to follow, her being just as eager to get away from the madness as I am. "Take me with you" she begs and I chuckle and nod, both of us looking over at Liz for approval. "Yeah you're done for the night" she says, waving her off and y/n visibly slumps in relief.

"Just try to keep your phone near you tomorrow. I'll try not to need you bu-" "I'll be there if you need me. Thanks for switching things up for me" y/n says cutting Liz off and she sighs. 

"The fact that you're leaving me with this miserable lot on a show night is inconvenient but you've been working hard so go enjoy your time. We'll still see you at the show though right?" she confirms what we had talked about before and y/n nods.

"I'll put your name down for two tickets at the front" she says leaving y/n thanking her again before the two of us leave, throwing a goodnight over our shoulders on our way out.

"So two tickets huh? You bringing Alex?" I ask, addressing the elephant in the room and she hums, not giving me much to work with so I nod as we make the trek back to our rooms which happen to be right across from each other this time around.

"Are we okay?" I ask, hating the air that's settled between us making her look at me, utterly confused as to why I'm asking this. "Yeah...why wouldn't we be?" and I let out a sigh of relief yet I still don't fully believe her.

"I don't know. I feel like it got a little awkward between us back at the diner so I just wanted to double check" this is weird, I've never cared about stuff like this before. I usually just let the misunderstanding stew until things boil over or we eventually stop caring about it.

But not with her...I need to make sure that everything's alright.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow night yeah?" she asks, cutting the night short as we stop in front of our rooms while she fishes her room key out of her tote bag. I don't want to leave things like this between us. I want to spend more time with her, just to make sure that things really are okay.

"Do you-" I start off, making her turn to face me since she had already turned away to open her door. "Do you think you could introduce me to this Alex guy? Wanna make sure he's alright, you know? Can't have my girl hanging out with a loser now can I?" I tease and she smiles a little wider than I was expecting which somehow confuses me even more.

"I'll introduce you after the show" she agrees and I'm shocked that there's no push back about it. From the way she was responding to me earlier you would think that she wouldn't want to bring him anywhere near me. 

"I'll be the one in the spotlight" I smile and she rolls her eyes, 

"Goodnight Jungkook" she says and disappears into her room before I get a chance to reciprocate her sentiments.

"Goodnight y/n" I mumble, staring at the place she once stood before turning around and getting my key card out to open my room.

"Well that was pathetic" I hear Asher say as he makes his way down the hallway. Did I mention that we're sharing a suite...per usual? "Fuck off Ash" I grumble, opening the door and considering locking it behind me but I don't want y/n to hear us bicker.

"What? I'm just sayin" he holds his hands up in surrender but he's quick to back down since he knows how touchy I can get sometimes, especially after what Tyler pulled earlier tonight. "Yeah well don't" I say, walking through the common room and into mine.

"So who's Alex?" he asks, pushing a bit but I know he's just trying to talk me through all of this since I clearly need to. "Strings says he's a friend or something. She's bringing him to the show tomorrow night but that's all I really know" I say, taking off the rings and the rest of the jewelry I'm still wearing before kicking off my boots and getting a bit more comfortable.

"I thought she said she was single?" Ash says and I come out of my room and lay down on the couch, my mood getting worse and worse as this conversation progresses.

"Yeah I thought so too but she was smiling and giggling at her phone which I've never seen her do before so it makes me wonder..." I say, trailing off as Ash sits on the arm chair next to the couch, the set up to an onlooker resembling some sort of therapy session.

"So you're not gonna tell her?" he asks, his vague question making me sit up just enough the rest on my forearms. "Tell her what?" I ask and he rolls his eyes as if the answer was so obvious. "That you like her?" he says and I sit up completely, looking at him as if he had grown two heads.

"You're joking right?" I scoff and he shrugs his shoulders. "I saw it coming from a mile away dude. I'm surprised you haven't even admitted it to yourself yet" he says, getting up and taking his jacket off, throwing it on the bed and following suit in taking his jewelry and boots off too.

"I don't like her. I mean she's a friend and I like having her around but I do not have feelings for her" I deny, making my stance clear but it takes a lot of effort to actually say that and even when I get it out it feels as though I'm lying to him. I don't like her though...right?

"Whatever you say man" he says turning his shower on and walking back out to talk until the water heats up. "But from what I saw back there" he nods towards the door, the one just on the other side being to y/n's room. "It seems like you were about ready to tell her to not bring that guy to the show tomorrow night" he finishes and I shake my head.

"I think you've been watching too many dramas dude. Y/n and I are just friends, I'm just looking out for her" I explain and I watch as he puts a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. "Keep telling yourself that...but don't forget to thank me later when you realize that I'm right" he finishes and heads into the bathroom without another word.

I scoff and head into my room to take a shower as well and wash off all the sweat and smoke that are no doubt stuck to my skin and try to let the memories of everything that had happened after the show wash away. 

The words that Asher said keep echoing in my mind though and I can't shake the fact that maybe he's right, leaving me analyzing and over analyzing everything about y/n and I.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep that night.

~~~~

"Rise and shine gorgeous" I hear Ash say, turning my lights on and casually tossing a pillow at me. "Fuck off" I groan and he laughs, the same old song and dance every morning that we're on tour. To be honest though, I'd prefer that over Tyler jumping all over my bed like the hyper active knucklehead he is and I especially prefer it over Zack abandoning me and leaving it to Liz to come wake my ass up. 

My ideal wakeup call would be Strings coming to get me but the last time she did I pulled her into bed and she retaliated, kicking and punching me until I let her go. After that there were no more wakeup calls from her, and even if there were she would opt for a tactic similar to Asher. 

"What time is it?" I groan, rolling around to grab my phone but of course it's dead. "It's eleven thirty. We need to leave in thirty minutes so we can head to the venue for rehearsal" he says and I hum in response, rolling out of bed and dragging my feet until I'm dressed and ready to head out.

~~~

"Alright everybody that's a wrap" Liz calls out after we've finished up rehearsal, the staff all clapping politely before heading out, only to return a few hours later for the show. 

We stumble into the green room like we did last night, slumping on the couches and resting after a good two hour rehearsal and my voice is shot to say the least. 

"You gonna be okay tonight?" Liz asks, handing off the hot cup of tea one of the venue staff gave her. "I just need to rest my voice for a while" I say and she places a hand on my shoulder, trusting me and going to address the rest of the guys.

"You guys sounded great today so I think we're all good to go for the show tonight. Anyone got any complaints?" she asks, knowing there's always something someone's gotta say. 

"Yeah, where's y/n?" Tyler asks making my ears perk up even though I know the answer already. "She's taking the day off but she's gonna be at the show tonight" Liz says and the group sighs, making her cross her arms over her chest. 

"Is that a problem?" she cocks her brow, daring someone to say something and the brave soul this time being Leo pipes up. "Well she just usually has all the food ready for us back here when we're done with rehearsals" he says, trailing off when he realizes how stupid his little comment is.

"Food's on it's way children. I swear people would think I starve you from the way that you're all acting" she mutters and pulls out her phone when a notification pops up. "But some of us didn't eat breakfast!" Tyler whines and she holds up her hand to silence him. 

"Not my fault that you slept through it" she finishes and leaves the room when her phone rings, no doubt another person asking her the millions of questions they might have about us and the next stops on our tour.

"Did you guys see y/n before she left this morning?" Leo sighs, slumping back into the couch, this conversation getting a lot more interesting now. 

"No" I respond, needing to know more about it. "She was wearing this flowy dress with her hair and makeup done. She looked...girly" he says and Asher chuckles. "I mean she is a girl" he teases but Leo keeps going. 

"Well yeah I know, but she never dresses like that. As far as I knew her whole wardrobe consisted of converse, jeans, baggy hoodies and our band tshirts. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her wearing makeup before" he says and I roll my eyes. 

"You obviously don't pay enough attention to her" I mumble and I know I've fucked up as soon as those words left my mouth. "And you do?" Zack asks, clearly way more interested in the conversation than he was moments ago. 

"I mean yeah, cuz we're friends" I say, grabbing a water bottle off the table and chugging half of it and I watch with horror as they exchange knowing glances between each other. "Right... friends" Leo says, clearly unconvinced.

"So you guys really were on a date last night huh?" Tyler asks, clearly getting the memo as to why I've always denied his suggestions of hooking up with some of the girls from our shows. 

At least he'll give up on that mission now but he's got another one in mind without even trying to find it.  

"No, she just took me there so I could get away from your nosy ass for a while" I say to him and he scoffs as if he was offended when he knows damn well what he did.

"Makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. You guys have been getting pretty close this time around. I guess I never really thought that you would be into a girl like her" he continues and the more I come to defend her the more obvious it is to everyone how I feel about her. 

"Oh yeah? And what kind of girl is she?" I say, gearing up to tell him off since she's not here to do it herself. All of us knowing that she wouldn't accept any of our help no matter how stupid he's acting. 

I would say out of all of us the two of them are the one's who have a clearly fabricated sibling rivalry. 

Although everyone of us fights with him every once in awhile. It's never anything deep but he tends to jump at being annoying as hell at any opportunity that arises.   

"Well a little bit more on the boyish side in terms of fashion, up until I saw her this morning. Kind of standoffish at times, nags all of us" He lists off and I honestly can't deny that that's the way she comes off but the fact that it's Tyler talking about her behind her back bugs me. 

"That's because that's her job" I come to her defense which makes all of them smile wider. "Whatever, fuck you guys" I grumble, admitting defeat this time since I want them to stop looking at me like that. 

"So that's why you're stressed about her bringing a date to the show tonight huh?" Leo chimes in and I scoff. "It's not a date, according to her they're just friends" I say, not believing a damn word of it.

"You know this is her hometown right?" Zack chimes in, connecting all the dots now. "It is?" I ask for confirmation just in case they're fucking with me. "You think he would've known that by now" Leo taunts, gaining a glare from me.

"We don't talk about stuff like that" I say, trying to figure out some sort of excuse as to why I haven't bothered to ask her a simple question like that. Makes me feel like shit honestly. Some friend I am. 

"And what do you talk about?" Tyler asks, teasing me again. "Everything...nothing, can we change the subject?" I ask nicely, choosing a different tactic this time but it's no use. 

"You sure you don't like her?" Leo asks leaving me shaking my head.

"Nope" I deny.

"She's just a friend yeah?" Zach chimes in. 

"Yep just a friend" I say getting up to make some more tea to hopefully help me relax after this inquisition.  

"So you wouldn't mind if I asked her ou-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll chop your dick off" I cut off Tyler, surprising even myself with how quickly I responded

"Right, friends" He smirks, satisfied with how he got me to pretty much admit it with the other guys as his witnesses.

"You better make a move dude otherwise when the tour is over and she comes back home she's gonna end up with that Alex guy" Zack says, patting me on the back like he always does and yet I'm still never prepared for it,  stumbling and almost dropping the cup of lukewarm tea I was planning to refresh but honestly all I feel like having now is a stiff drink.

I open the door to the green room and head out with Asher planning to follow after scolding the guys but I bump into the person that was coming in. I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close before she falls and as a result we're met with a bunch of 'ooos' and 'awwws' from all the guys but I can't be bothered to shut them up yet.

"I'm sorry I should've paid more attention to where I was going" I apologize to the woman in my arms and it takes me a second to realize that it's y/n. "Strings?" I question and she rolls her eyes, pushing against my chest and stepping back, putting some much needed space between us from her perspective. 

"A girl changes up her appearance for one day and suddenly she's unrecognizable" she mumbles and pushes past me and into the green room with me immediately trailing behind her, forgetting what I had planned to do mere moments ago. 

"What are you doing here? I thought you had the day off" Leo asks the question all of us clearly want the answer to. "Liz told me that one of you guys weren't feeling well and asked me to bring over some cough medicine" she says, holding up the bottle of said medicine. 

"Look at that JK, she came all the way here to give you some medicine so you'll feel better tonight" Leo taunts and I make a motion to show that if he keeps on running his mouth he'll regret it. He's not a vocalist so he wouldn't mind if I knocked a few teeth out of his mouth now would he?

"Of course it's you" she says, turning around and shoving the bottle towards me, clearly in a rush to get out of here. "I told you you were gonna get sick" she scolds, Tyler's description of her coming back to me after witnessing it myself. 

A white flowy dress with a matching white bag and sandals is what I'm met with, a casual but appropriate look for a spring day but she shoves me, stopping me from checking her out as it seems that I had been doing it longer than what would be considered even semi appropriate. 

"Come on Jeon I don't have time for this. Take your medicine and get back to the hotel so you can rest. We can't afford to cancel last minute so hurry up" she says, checking her phone and glancing over at Asher. 

"Can I trust you to make sure he does as he's told?" she asks, one hand on the door already to leave so he nods, assuring her he'll take care of it. "See you at the show" she says over her shoulder to no one in particular as she walks out of the club with all of the guys yelling out their various goodbyes to her.

"What's with her?" Leo asks, all of us caught off guard by her behavior since she's usually not this rough with us, at least not for something like this. She takes on the care giver role when any one of us is sick so this harsh treatment kinda threw all of us for a loop. 

"She's probably just irritated by the fact that Jungkook was clearly undressing her with his eyes" Tyler jabs and I glare, the only sort of response I have the energy to give at the moment with him granting me a sickeningly sweet smile. "Fuck off" I grumble, my frequently used phrase when it comes to him. 

I open up the meds that she gave me and take them real quick, cringing at the disgusting taste making Leo chuckle. "We should probably get you back to the room tho. Doctor's orders and all" Asher says, grabbing his jacket, phone and wallet while doing the same for me. "I feel like shit anyways so there's no point in hanging around here anymore" I grumble and take my jacket from him. 

"You guys are just running away because you're scared of y/n huh?" Tyler taunts and I roll my eyes. "Isn't it obvious?" I grumble and he laughs, leaving me scoffing and walking out to head to the car. 

"You gonna be alright tonight?" Asher asks while we wait for them to bring the car around, him having hung back for a couple of seconds to grab the medicine that I stupidly left on the table back there. "Yeah I just need to lay down" I sigh and slump into the car when Asher grabs the door for me and I give him a small nod in thanks. 

He rounds the car and gets in on the other side and within the next ten or fifteen minutes we're back at the hotel again, trudging through the hallway to our room. 

"You good?" Asher asks again to the point where it's starting to annoy me. "Yes Ash, for the love of God yes I'll be fine" I scold and he holds his hands up. "Alright alright I'll stop. Do you want anything for lunch? I'm gonna check and see if Liz can get one of the staff to get us something. Or we can just order room service?" he offers and I go with my gut on this one. 

"I don't care just get me some chicken soup or something please? I need to get this shit out of my system asap and I don't think I can stomach anything other than that" I say, dragging my feet into my room and tossing my shoes and jacket off before getting in bed. 

"You're really that sick huh?" He asks, leaning against the doorframe and seeing how my state has gotten worse since we left. "Yes I am so can you go order food and leave me alone?" I say and he shakes his head. "I'm sorry I just feel like shit right now" I reiterate and he hums in acknowledgment. "I know" he says and pushes his weight off the frame and turns to leave. 

"Sweet dreams sleeping beauty. I'll wake you up when the food gets here" he says before closing my door behind him and I sigh, happy to be alone so I can pass out for a while...and pass out I do. 

~~~~~

Once we've finished eating and I'm starting to feel better Ash starts talking about y/n again.

"So are you gonna tell her?" he asks after cleaning up. "Tell her what?" I groan, not wanting to suffer through this but knowing that if I at least tell him he can tell the other guys for me so they'll hopefully hop off my dick about this. 

"That you like her" he says and I sigh, the conversation being a twin to the one we had last night. "I don't know" I mumble and he nods his head. "You probably should just in case this whole Alex thing goes any further" he offers up. 

"It just sucks because I'm just barely starting to realize that I like her because I've been put in this situation where I could potentially lose my chance with her if I don't tell her tonight. Who knows, she could've been talking to this guy this whole time and I just assumed that she was single since she's always been so focused on our band and the tour. I mean, I can't even keep a stable relationship going with all the shit we have to do" I say and he sighs.

"That was because of her. Not you" he says, him being the only one I let talk freely about Sage. "I know" I rub my temples, trying to coax this low grade headache away before it gets any worse. "Take the time that you have left to think about it and I'll tell the guys to back off, even if that means putting a muzzle on Tyler" he jokes and I scoff.

"Can't we permanently muzzle him?" I grumble and he laughs. "I'll take it up with Liz. If anything we can get him a shock collar or something and give him a couple volts every time he pisses us off" he offers up and the image alone makes me smile. "Keep the remote far away from me otherwise we might end up with a barbecued bandmate" I joke.

"Noted" he chuckles, "I'm not gonna tell you that you have to tell her but if I were you...I would" he sighs and gets up to finish getting ready to go to. 

Should I really tell her?

~~~~~~

As we make our way through the backdoor of the venue and into the green room again we're given our outfits and the rundown one last time. 

"Okay, everyone know what they need to do?" Liz asks, the staff having joined us for this little pow wow and everyone looks at one another and nods, all of them more or less having an understanding of what's expected of them. 

"Alright guys thank you very much. I need people to double and triple check that the mics and speakers are ready but other than that if you have any questions feel free to ask me or the owner and if you see y/n in the crowd try not to bother her. It's her night off so let's just treat her like a normal ticket holder. Okay?" Liz finishes and the nerves of seeing y/n tonight and potentially telling her how I feel all come back.

"You okay?" Ash asks, having noticed how I've tensed up a bit and I nod, breathing deep and relaxing my body as best as I can. If only it was that easy to relax my mind...

"You guys ready to go? Any last minute wardrobe malfunctions or bathroom breaks?" Liz asks, her tone being a little softer with us this time around since y/n isn't here to ease the burn. "Yeah I think we're good" Zach says, nodding his head after assessing the group for a second and she takes that as her answer, not having time to check up on all of us individually. 

"I've gotta get going but break a leg...not for real this time" she says, backpedaling and narrowing her eyes at Tyler who sheepishly scratches the back of his head. "Got it" he mumbles and after a second or two of her making sure he's understood she's out the door without another word.

"So y/n-" "We're not talking about y/n unless Jungkook brings her up alright?" Asher says, cutting Tyler off before he can say anything to piss me off but everything has got me on edge tonight. "Bu-" "Tyler, leave it alone" Zach warns and the subject is dropped, with Zach's word being law per usual and this time I'm thankful for it.

"Let's just focus on the show like we always do" Asher says, breaking up the tension and reminding us that there are more important things in play here. "Right" Tyler mumbles and soon we're walking on stage. 

The roar of the crowd hitting us like it always does with the high being just as good as it always is but it's paired with something different this time and I can't tell if it's a good or bad thing.

~~~~

As the set plays on I finally catch just a glimpse of her in the crowd, her cheeks flushed and her eyes glassy, the heat and alcohol being the culprit but the smile on her face is so much freer and genuine, a sight I've only seen a few times and when the song we're performing comes to a close I whisper in Ash's ear to see if we could switch things up.

"Do you think we're ready?" I ask, hoping he thinks we are and when he gives the guys a look they all know, all of them passing on the message so we're all in sync. "Yeah we're ready, you sure you wanna play it though?" he asks, hesitant since the crowd reaction to this switch up is unpredictable but I can't shake the feeling that now is the time that this song was made for and so I nod, the guys go quiet waiting for me to introduce this next song.

"So this one isn't something you guys have heard before but it's one that's been stuck in my head since I wrote it" I say and I watch as the crowd all turns to each other, buzzing with excitement of hearing an unreleased track. 

"It's one that's meant a lot to me but I didn't really know why..." I continue and I can tell that they're even more invested now, some of them clearly waiting with bated breath. 

"I know my words seem cryptic but I hope that the right person will understand" I end and the murmurs through out the crowd continue, looking left and right to see who I might be talking about...but now I know, I know who she is.

'We never met but she's all I see at night' I start, the strong chords of the guitars and the crisp beats on the drums add power, the crowd cheering at the opening line already.

'Never met but she's always on my mind'  and as the lyrics continue I see y/n's brows furrow in confusion, knowing that this song wasn't on the setlist, the sound being familiar to her nevertheless.

'Wanna give her the world and so much more' I continue, locking eye contact with her when she realizes my eyes have never left her.

'Who is my heart waiting for'  I sing and the roaring of the crowd brings me back, the first verse drawing my attention back to the fact that I'm still performing. My eyes glance over at her whenever they can and I can see I look of confusion but she sings along and enjoys it with the crowd, not knowing if she's reading my signs correctly. 

I focus back on performing, the excitement and reaction from the crowd being something greater than I've experienced in a while. This being our encore tour with no new songs added but I couldn't hold onto it, not tonight.

'I'll take her places they ain't found yet, I'll put it all on the line'  I continue, my intentions and understanding behind the chance of pursuing her conveyed in the song without me even trying. 

Had I really been writing this about her?

'Is she someone that I see everyday?'  I sing, purposefully looking for her in the crowd but when my eyes land on her I see her looking down at her phone and then looking around, making my heart sink at the thought of her not seeing the importance of this.

'Is she someone a thousand miles away?' I continue, turning my attention back to performing and when the mantra of the song plays all the instruments cut out except for the drums and the rest of the guys direct the crowd to clap along with the beat.

'Who is my heart, heart waiting for?'  is chanted over and over until we finally kick back into the chorus, a high note I've been dying to sing live being something I fall a little short of in hopes of finding her but to the untrained ear being something you couldn't catch.

'Wanna give her the world and so much more' I sing, coming to a close and finally my eyes meet hers again. 

'Who is my heart waiting for?'  I end, the crowd's reaction of jumping and shouting in excitement makes me lose sight of her again showing me that I should really try to focus on the performance but all I want to do is run to her.

I turn back towards the crowd and thank them right along with the rest of the band and luckily we're able to take a break since I managed to time it perfectly with the intermission and as always we all tumble back into the green room. 

We all reach for the waters laid out for us and down them in entirety, the stage lights feeling so much hotter tonight but I know deep down that it was the nerves that got me feeling like this, just the sight of her making my heart race. 

How have things changed so rapidly from me being able to be close to her without a care in the world to me in shambles from just being in her presence. I'm not able to mull over that thought for long as I watch Liz come in behind us. 

"Great first half guys but why the hell didn't you tell me you were playing that song? That's not coming out for weeks!" she says, her half praise, half scolding manner being hard to decipher but when I try to own up to it Tyler takes the blame. 

"It was my idea. I wanted to keep the attention of a girl I saw in the front row that had been making eyes at me" he says, the statement not being true but I'm sure he still did use the opportunity to his advantage. 

"You've got plenty of other songs that make the girls go wild for you so just stick to the setlist next time, got it?" she says, addressing all of us since we all literally played a part in it and so we accept her scolding with promises to never do it again. 

"Anyways Jungkook you've got a visitor" she says and I'm perplexed, her never allowing anyone to come back here especially in the middle of a show but when she opens the door and y/n comes into view I quickly take her hand and pull her outside into that same parking lot we had been in just last night, not wanting an audience for this.

"What are you doing?" she asks, dragging her feet now that we're out, not wanting to be pulled along any more but I want to make sure we're out of earshot, the thought of future teasing being painful enough as it is so I just want some privacy even if it's just for this one moment now. 

"I just wanted to talk...alone" I say and she nods her head but we stand there in silence until both of us try to say something but I encourage her to go first. 

"You guys sound amazing tonight" she says and I wordlessly thank her since I can tell she's got more to say. "That song um...I thought you guys weren't done with it yet" she says, bringing up the obvious elephant in the room and the cause of the tension between us. 

"We are, we just weren't sure if we wanted to release it as a single or as part of the next album. Liz wants to kill us for spoiling it...but it felt like it was something I needed to do" I admit and she nods her head and looks down at her shoes. 

"You said that the song meant a lot to you but you weren't sure why?" she asks, repeating the words I had said on stage and I nod, waiting for her to complete her thought. "So what's changed?" she asks, the opportunity to do what I had planned to being handed to me so after taking a deep breath I finally just go with what feels right. 

"I've never thought of myself as a romantic guy or one that has a way with words but when it comes to song writing things just feel different. That song felt like I was calling out to something...well someone that I didn't have but was longing to meet. Which is pretty obvious from the lyrics huh?" I say, nervously proving my point.

"What I'm trying to say is that I've found my 'Who' so to say, but I'm not sure if it's right of me to say this already since I've only realized recently" I admit and she smiles. 

"Recently being...?" she asks, her tone being laced with amusement. "Yesterday" I answer truthfully and she laughs, confusing me. 

"This isn't funny" I scoff but it only makes her laugh more, the tips of my ears going pink but I can't deny that her laugh is one of my favorite sounds. "I'm sorry I'm sorry, go on" she says, stifling back her laughter and waiting for me to continue. 

"You're insufferable" I huff which only amuses her more. "And yet here you are confessing your love to me" she says, connecting the dots before I have a chance to and I'm left there speechless, neither confirming nor denying her suspicious which makes her start to doubt herself. 

"Unless that's not what you're doing...?" she asks tentatively, disheartened at the thought of misreading all of the signs I sent her. "No, it is" I murmur, making her smile again, my heart skipping a beat like a love sick school boy.

"So you like me?" she asks and I have no choice but to nod my head, still unsure of myself but I needed to admit it. 

"I know it's selfish of me to say this since you have a new guy in your life so if you don't feel the same way I understand" I say, not wanting to pressure her into it, "I just wanted you to know" I whisper and when she tilts her head in confusion I start to second guess myself. 

"New guy?" she asks, scrunching her brows together, the reaction endearing. "Yeah, Alex?" I say tentatively since I feel as though something is definetly wrong here. "Oh! Oh, Alex. Right" she nods her head but I'm still very much confused about her reaction. 

"You should probably come inside" she says nodding towards the building and so I suspiciously follow her, this unknown Alex no doubt waiting inside but when all I see is the addition of another girl inside that the guys are all crowding around I know now that my suspicions were very very wrong.

"Alright guys give her some room" y/n says and pulls the girl away from the very engaging conversation she seemed to be having, granting y/n with a pointed glare but she ignores it. 

"Jungkook meet Alexis" she says and the girl I now know as Alexis cringes. "Ew don't call me by my government name" she protests making y/n shake her head but Alexis, I mean Alex's vibe changes up completely once she addresses me, an almost nervousness taking over her but I guess it kind of is a given when you meet someone famous. 

"Hi Jungkook it's really nice to meet you. Y/n has told me so much about you" she says holding out her hand for me to shake which I do but my eyes are now turned towards y/n who has face palmed at her friends admission. "Oh yeah? Does she talk about me all the time?"

"I mean, well, she might've mentioned you once or twice" Alex quickly backtracks, chuckling nervously when she makes eye contact with y/n as she's giving her a glare that clearly screams 'stop talking' which I can't help but chuckle about. 

"I'm just gonna go over here, um you guys have fun" Alex says and politely excuses herself in favor of going to talk to the guys again who have amusedly been watching our exchange. 

"Once or twice?" I smirk when we're finally back in our own little world. "Shut up" she hisses and punches my arm leaving me wincing in pain. "I didn't know you would get so violent when you're embarrassed" I tease gaining me another punch on the other arm to even it out. 

"Okay okay I'm sorry I give up" I hold my hands up in surrender making her cross her arms over her chest, still not convinced but putting her guard down a little bit nonetheless. 

"So you like me too then huh?" I say unashamedly, the way her friend alone gave a few subtle hints at that making me confident in my perception. "I never said that!" she counters but her defensive nature is adorable at best. 

"You didn't have to" I say and when she tries to punch me again I grab her wrist before she can make contact and bring it up to my lips, placing a kiss on the inside of it, feeling her elevated pulse through her skin.

"I could think of a better way to expel that energy princess so why don't you hold off on that anger until after the show" I tease and from her many blinks and open mouth at my suggestive wording it's apparent that she got the message.

"I could report you for sexual harassment" she says through gritted teeth, her cheeks no doubt heating up in embarrassment. "It's not harassment if you enjoy it" I say placing another kiss on her wrist which she quickly rips out of my grasp making me chuckle. 

"Better get back to the crowd otherwise you won't be able to see my pretty face anymore" I taunt and she scoffs and goes to storm out but stops, stomping over to where Alex and the guys are, ripping her away from them again leaving the boys as the ones protesting this time and seconds later slamming the door behind them.

"So?" Asher asks, the other guys engaging in a conversation that no doubt revolves around Alex making me sigh in thanksgiving, glad I don't have to confront all of them at once. "She hasn't said it...but she basically did" I shrug, acting as if it's no big deal but praying that this show will wrap up sooner rather than later.

"Told you" he says and gives me a friendly punch in the arm. "Yeah yeah I know I should believe you more often" I sigh and rub the area he abused. "So what are you gonna do?" he asks, now bringing the reality of the situation back around. 

"All I know is I don't wanna mess this up" I say and he nods, placing his hand on my shoulder to give me silent encouragement but leaves me with my thoughts a few seconds later leaving me grabbing some water and a shot or two to calm the nerves before we're back on stage.

~~~~

The rest of the show is a blur but thankfully from the crowd's reaction it seems as though they're enjoying it leaving me feeling fulfilled once we wrap up for the night. 

After the crowd has slowly dissipated and I find it safe to go out and walk around I search the venue on the hunt for a certain girl that's been running around my head for the past twenty four hours.

I duck my head into a few unlocked rooms and even some closets but come up empty handed, thankfully not stumbling upon some people hooking up inside of them but who am I to judge?

"Looking for someone?" I hear her playful voice behind me, calming whatever nerves I felt before confronting her after everything that was said...and sung. 

"Maybe" I say, turning around to face her and leaning up against the wall behind me leaving her doing the exact same across from me in this narrow hallway, away from prying eyes. "Just maybe?" she asks and I chuckle. 

"No use looking for someone that I already found" I admit making her bite her bottom lip in a seemingly unnoticeable way unless you were staring at her lips...which I am.

"You guys played a really good show tonight. I'm proud of you...well all of you" she says, backtracking a little in favor of being shy making me smile. "Thanks, means a lot Strings" I say in a huskier voice than I had planned on, her physical reaction quick but noticeable at this proximity. 

"You nervous?" I cock my head leaving her going into a defensive state. "Why would I be nervous?" she asks, looking away and further proving my point, giving me a clear view of the expanse of her neck, temping me oh so innocently to mark her as my own. 

"Oh you know, a fan can get a little intimidated talking to their favorite rockstar" I say, pushing off the wall and taking the few steps that separate us, resting my hand up against the wall, the proximity between us clearly one that would be shared between lovers. 

"You're not just some rockstar" she counters, straightening up her posture and in turn making the space between her lips and mine all the more smaller. "No...I'm not" I say, my eyes shamelessly staring at her lips before dragging them back up to her eyes. 

"Have you thought about what I said?" my warm breath fanning her face making her shiver, goosebumps clearly visible from the sleeveless nature of this now black fitted dress, a dichotomy to the one she wore earlier. 

She hums in acknowledgement, her eyes now the ones flickering down to the way my lips curve around the words making the corner of my mouth turn up.

"And?" I ask, her silence driving me insane, the torture of finishing the show alone making me impatient beyond belief. "And?" she echoes, her coy nature making me chuckle dryly. "You're not gonna say anything?" I ask, my nose nudging against hers, playing a dangerous game before she's even given in. 

"You said I didn't have to" she counters, referring to our previous conversation backstage. "I did, didn't I?" I scoff and she hums again, clearly amused with this push and pull between us. 

"So if I were to want to do this..." I ask, moving impossibly close, to the point of where if I moved my lips ours would surely touch. "Would you stop me?" I ask just above a whisper leaving her eyes fluttering closed and her lips parted slightly giving me my answer. 

"Guess not" I chuckle before pressing my lips against her's in a bruising kiss that leave both of us gasping for breath afterwards. 

"I've been wanting to do that for so fucking long" I murmur against her lips making her smile. "I thought you only just realized you liked me yesterday?" she points out again. 

"Just because I only realized my feeling for you yesterday doesn't mean that I didn't want to kiss you before then" I say making her eyes open up in surprise leaving me chuckling and pushing off the wall, taking her hand in mine and walking towards the venue exit. 

"Wait, where are we going?" she asks, her swollen lips and breathless state making me want to do something that I know I shouldn't making me bite back the original response I had in mind. 

"Back to the hotel" I say, giving the obvious answer and she goes quiet at that, unsure of what exactly lies ahead but her stronger grip on my hand once she's come around to the idea makes me smile. 

~~~~~

I wanna pull that rockstar shit on her. I want to give into those desires that both of us are clearly craving but she's different. She deserves more than just a lust filled first time together, I want to do this right so when I kiss her goodnight and turn to head back to my room she pulls me back with a puzzled look on her face. 

"What are you doing?" she asks, her brows furrowed together in confusion, almost asking if she had done something wrong. I sigh and come back to her, placing my hands on her hips and resting my forehead against her's. 

"I don't wanna go too fast" the admission something I hadn't planned on but the need to quell her worries being more important than my vulnerability. "Why?" she asks, her fingers lacing through my hair to hold me close, making my resolve crumble just a bit. 

"You're worth more than that. You're worth more to me..." I say the last part a little quieter, hoping my genuine intentions comes out from the change in tone. 

"You're too sweet for your own good Jeon" she giggles making me let out a breath, happy that she isn't taking this the wrong way. 

"I may be a rockstar but I'm a romantic at my core" I say just to make her laugh more which works as she decides to burry her face into my neck to stifle her laughter. "Please don't ever say that again" she chuckles, her laughter slowly dying down. 

"Why not?" I ask, my grip on her hips the slightest bit tighter to bring her focus back to me. "Because it's gonna taint your whole discography with cringe, that's why" she teases making me tongue my cheek. 

"You know I have half a mind to put you in your place for that smart mouth of yours" I growl making her shiver at the thought, her lip caught between her teeth again making me drag it down before rubbing my thumb along it, pulling it back when I can see that she's contemplating putting it in her mouth just to egg me on. 

"But I won't" I say and pull away leaving her groaning in frustration, the look on her face priceless. "Come on" she groans further, crossing her arms over her chest making her cleavage look all the more tempting. 

"Let me take you out on a few proper dates first Princess" I chuckle leaving her angrily muttering to herself as she turns to unlock her hotel room. "What was that? Couldn't quite hear you" I taunt, taking a few steps back over to her. 

"I said this was a waste of a dress" she repeats, her angered look adorable. "And why's that sweetheart?" I tilt my head, thoroughly amused by her frustration with me. "Because I hadn't planned on being the one who would take it off tonight" she says and unlocks her door before opening it and slamming it in my face. 

I can't help but smirk at her efforts to get me into bed with her tonight, her embarrassed confession endearing. "Sweet dreams Strings" I say through her door hearing what I can only assume is a pillow hitting it with a soft thud in retaliation. 

"You're gonna have your hands full with that one" Asher says, popping up out of nowhere scaring me half to death. "Don't do that" I growl and push past him into our open hotel room door that he just came out of. "You guys were the one's that were making a lot of noise. I just wanted to come and enjoy the show" he laughs, shaking his head and closing the door behind us.

"Yeah well better get used to hearing some other kinds of noises from us soon enough" I taunt making him cringe at the thought. "Maybe now Liz will finally let me get my own room" he rolls his eyes leaving that as his final goodnight.

I flop down on the couch in our shared living room and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out if this was the best plan of action. The ghost of a feeling of her lips on mine and that alluring look she had been giving me after the show makes me grit my teeth, trying to block the memory.

I get a text seconds later though from Strings knocking me out of my train of thought and smashing me into another one when I open the image of her taking a picture of her reflection. Her dress now discarded leaving her bare torso exposed but the picture only affords me an image of her back, the thoughts of what else she's purposefully hiding from me making my pants grow tight. 

'Careful Strings' is all I manage to type out, my willpower waining as seconds pass waiting for her response. 

'You knew from the beginning I was never a careful one'  she sends putting a new connotation on the name 'Strings'.

'I'm really trying to be a gentleman right now but you're testing my patience' I respond, getting up and pacing back and forth, weighing the pros and cons of what might come of this if I give in. 

'I never asked you to be a gentleman' she replies making me groan in frustration, her tactics of temptation were not ones I had expected to have this big of a pull on me. 

'Be a good girl Strings and let me treat you right. You'll get what you want. Just wanna take my time with you' I send back, hoping that'll keep her at bay and for the moment it does but when I try to stand up and get ready to pass out she's sending me another message that makes me chuckle.

'Can you at least come over here so we can kiss for a little bit? :(' she's fucking adorable. A temptress but adorable nonetheless.

'No Strings, we both know that it won't end in just kissing' I send back and she just replies with an angry face as expected. 

'Goodnight Princess x' I send back and lock my phone, tossing it on my bed and getting out of these clothes so I can take a shower, smiling to myself and thinking about seeing her again.

I want to do right by her and no matter how sulky she might get but we both know that 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' or whatever that Shakespeare dude said. 

In this case meaning I want her to be putty in my hands and begging for it by the time I give in. 

'Just a couple of dates Jungkook. You can wait that long' I coach myself after a notification pops up telling me she sent me some more pictures but it leaves me debating on if I should or shouldn't look but I ultimately lose the battle and open our conversation. 

My fingers tighten around my phone as she sends me more pictures, still not completely nude but close enough to make my dick rival the wants in my brain, almost tipping me over the edge.

'Behave!' is all I manage to get out before I strip my clothes off and get in the shower, leaving my phone behind but the images of her imprinted on my mind are enough to make this shower a lot longer than intended.

I guess Asher is right, I really am gonna have my hands full. 

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater Taglist continued in the comments 💜

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

[thisisntmyrightera]

Park SungHoon Head Cannons x Fem Reader

Pairing: Park SungHoon x Fem Reader

Headcannons about your relationship with SungHoon. Type: Fluff, some Angst Beware: Messages of hate, racism, sexism.

Note: I wanted to do something different and since I couldn't find anything about Park Sunghoon anywhere, I decided to bring something to the lovers of this great actor. It had been on my mind for a long time and I had to express it. I hope you like it.

-SungHoon and you met back in March 2023 when you were both recruited for the cast of Squid Game 2, with you being the foreign addition of the season

-As soon as you met, his kindness and tenderness resonated a lot with you, you were used to only knowing his roles but meeting him in person surprised you, he was a totally different person than usual.

-He, on the other hand, didn't last a single second without getting to know you before he was enchanted by your beauty. You seemed so delicate and different from what he was normally used to that he couldn't get you out of his head. As soon as he had the chance, he approached you and introduced himself, and quickly you both became good friends. Your first friend from the cast.

-A couple of weeks later, he invited you to eat at a place that wasn't fancy. In fact, he surprised you when he asked you to dress comfortably, something not at all formal. You both wore sweatpants, baggy sweatshirts, and caps. The date took place at a local gimbap restaurant, his favorite, which you loved as soon as you tried the first bite.

-The date was unique, like none you had had in years. There were no prejudices or anything false to impress. No one approached to bother you or you felt pressure around you to run away. On the contrary, everything around you was calm and the conversation you both had flowed as naturally as if you had known each other for years.

-Your friends (who you've told absolutely everything to) were initially hesitant about your relationship, he was much older than you, almost 40 and it could be harmful, but when he was with you he seemed like nothing more than a teenage boy in love, giggling and blushing, something about him made you feel like he was the one, but no one made the first move… or so you thought.

-The second date was shortly after, this time at your apartment, you both wore comfortable clothes again, ate instant ramen and fried chicken that he brought from his favorite restaurant, even though they had a movie on Netflix in the background neither of you paid attention, again you spent hours chatting laughing at stories and telling anecdotes.

-It was almost in October when during a walk along the banks of the Han River he took your hand, you didn't even notice, everything was so natural as if both of you were made for each other that his hand simply became part of yours

"I'm cold" you told him trembling with your cheeks blushing a little from the cold autumn wind, he didn't mention anything, he just smiled surrounding you with his arms while both of you leaned on each other looking at the river current

-In November, one of his best friends was getting married and he didn't miss the opportunity to invite you, he didn't spare his feelings either when he entered taking your hand, greeting his acquaintances and introducing you as his girlfriend, it was the moment when someone took a photograph which quickly traveled through the networks divulging your relationship

-Your name and his were everywhere, some portals referring to you as "the girlfriend" not even bothering to publish your name, many fans and followers began to share messages misogynists and racists against you.

''She's probably an easy one, she's a foreigner that's why they come to our country''

''She should have slept with him, aish she looks so fake''

''I don't understand why they keep bringing foreign celebrities to our country, now she'll dirty their legacy''

-Message after message made your heart ache, you spent hours crying and feeling like you weren't enough, to the point of asking him not to contact you anymore so as not to ruin his career, he had enough dramas in his life being hated for his controversial roles and now you would cause him more problems

-This only lasted a couple of weeks, one day he came to your door knocking with a small bouquet of flowers, subtle but with your favorite flowers, it was impossible not to let him in with his kind and warm smile, after talking for hours where he comforted you and apologized for not acting quickly against all the people who hurt you he took out of his pocket a small box, it was white and inside it two rings, one thicker than the other which made you overthink and panic a little making him laugh at your innocence.

''These are promise rings, I'll wear this one and you'll wear this one, we'll always wear these rings, no matter where we go we'll always wear them and when people see them they'll know that you and I have something that they can't break, because we've promised to love each other''

-From that day on, wherever you went, you always wore your ring on your left hand, which fans were quick to compare and realize that you and SungHoon shared the same design and quickly began to demand answers.

-For the fans it was something sick, despite being far past the age of majority, you still looked young and this made you earn roles as a student or teenager in popular kdramas, while he continued to receive the hatred of the public by playing mature villains without scruples, how could a sweet teenager have a relationship with a mature man, it was unforgivable.

-Despite this, there were thousands of people who loved both of you and respected your privacy, who supported you in your work and understood that you were both adults with your own decisions, that made you feel better and motivated you to move forward every day.

-His favorite dates were still at home, either at yours or his, they were always dates to eat fast food or recipes that he prepared to introduce you to Korean cuisine, then they watched movies until both of them fell asleep, almost always you sitting on his lap asleep on his shoulder.

-The next day you woke up in his bed or yours and he slept next to you always taking the necessary distance so as not to bother you or inconvenience you, but that didn't last long, as soon as you woke up you climbed on top of him hugging him to sleep some more time.

-A couple of months later both of you began to have more serious talks, would you sell your apartment or his? or would you both sell and buy a better one?, would you like to get married?, have children?, how would we work when the children were born?, talks that didn't sound uncomfortable at all, on the contrary it was comforting to know that you had a responsible and dedicated man at your side.

-At the beginning of 2024, both decided to sell both apartments and buy a better one, with enough space, which they decorated in neutral colors, which they inaugurated by inviting both their families to dinner, both cultures came together to welcome a new family which announced that their future plans included getting married.

-The families of both could not be happier than ever, your mother loved him like a son and his mother hugged you and squeezed your cheeks whenever she saw you, you were the girl she always wanted to have.

-In June 2024 while you were working on a series where you finally played a more mature girl than your previous characters, you felt a strong pain in your stomach, something like a colic and then you vomited the coffee and breakfast you had eaten before.

-They quickly took you to the hospital, everyone feared that you had suffered some kind of intoxication or poisoning, but everything was fine, your blood was clean in almost all the tests until you got to the bottom of the exam

-"Congratulations, you're pregnant" the doctor told you smiling while you looked at him in shock without knowing what was happening, you clearly knew what had happened, you were both already a formal couple and had thousands of plans for the future, but you had forgotten one thing in particular, to take care of yourselves when having sex.

-That night you told him, both of you sitting on the couch where many other nights you had had dates (and possibly where you had also gotten pregnant) he seemed worried at first, but when he realized he was very happy, he was going to be a father, he was going to have a little being with the woman he loved and it had been created by the love you both felt

-You cried at first, you were scared but as soon as he hugged you and comforted you with his words you knew that everything was going to be okay.

-From that day on, he started making thousands of plans, how they were going to decorate the baby's room, how they would protect the house so that they wouldn't suffer any accidents, that you would wait for them to be born to find out if it was a boy or a girl or they would like to know before, it seemed like he had had an adrenaline rush.

-At night, he liked to lie down next to you and talk to your belly (still flat) while he told the baby how his day had been, he told them how he had met you, how the weather was, insignificant things for everyone but for him, it was important that his baby knew that he was already part of the family.

-As the months went by, as soon as your belly began to show, he loved taking pictures of you in all the landscapes they found, he wanted to save even the smallest detail of your pregnancy.

-One day while you were both drinking cold coffee on a bench in front of the river, Han took your hand and talked about the future. From his pocket he took out a small box, carefully opening it and showing you a ring like the one you had always dreamed of (and the one that your best friend surely helped him choose).

"After our baby is born, I would like us to get married in a beautiful wedding like the one you deserve. It can be big or discreet, you decide that, or it can be just you, me and our child. I will be happy with the simple fact that our family is formed.

-It wasn't long before someone again leaked a photo of you where your belly was noticeable and again your name was all over the gossip tabloids, this time accompanied by rude comments against you and your unborn child.

-By then your last series had already ended and you were at home resting when your agency sent you a statement telling you that SungHoon and his agency wanted to make a joint statement, you gave your approval without thinking.

''I appreciate the support shown by our fans, im so sorry if some feel offended by our private life, I would like to announce that after knowing each other for a long time and realizing that we both felt the same way about each other, Y'N and I decided to formalize our relationship which has flowed healthy and happy, we are currently expecting our first child which we are very excited to welcome in February of next year who will be born in a home full of respect and love. Our relationship is better than ever, having already decided to get engaged to be married after our firstborn comes into the world. We appreciate the love and understanding of those who feel happy with our happiness, we treasure it in our hearts.''

-With that, SungHoon made sure to make everything clear, if that was what they wanted to know, he gave it to them by clearing up all the rumors.

-In December of that same year, Squid Game 2 finally premiered, taking you to the premiere on the arm of your future husband and adorning your dress with your beautiful belly.

-Your co-stars were happy, Ae-Shim (Geum-Ja) who had become a motherly figure for your character in the series kept caressing your belly repeating how beautiful you looked and how bright your face was.

-''It's a little squid, it will be my godson or goddaughter'' Jung-Jae repeated laughing whenever he saw you

-SungHoon never left your side, wherever you went he would accompany you holding your hand or resting it on your back, always making you feel protected

-This time the tabloids mentioned how pretty you looked, how happy you seemed and how adorable you seemed with your round belly, as well as how pretty your engagement ring was and how in love you both looked.

[vandijkwrites]

sorry if you've already answered this 700 times, in which case totally feel free to ignore. but how do you lengthen your attention span? is it as simple as watching/reading progressively longer things?

First of, I am by no means an expert, but I'm happy to help as much as I can! There are a lot of great articles, books, and podcasts on the topic if you want any further info.

The most important thing to realize is why are attention spans are getting worse:

Information overload and distractions make it difficult to focus. (Ex. social media and text notification going off while you are doing other tasks)

Intentional multitasking gets your brain used to doing more than one thing at once so it becomes very difficult to make it do only one thing (Ex. having the tv on in the background while doing other tasks)

Consuming a lot of media focused on having minimal downtime and immediate gratification decreases our patience and ability to do slower tasks (Ex. watching a lot of action packed movies and short TikToks)

Getting constant small hits of dopamine from social media decreases our ability to do tasks that don't give us dopamine hits (Ex. getting likes from a post or messages from friends)

The solutions to most of these come down to two things: (1) Do only one thing at a time (2) Limit distractions from that task (3) Reduce immediate gratification

So some example of ways to do that would be:

Read a book without your phone being on hand to distract you.

Watch TV without multitasking.

Reduce time on social media, especially social media focused on short videos.

Spend a day or part of a day without technology.

Spend time with friends without looking at your phone.

Watch slow-form content like unedited lecture or panel videos where people are just speaking at their normal pace without cutting pauses.

Listen to music albums all the way through instead of shuffling and skipping.

Eat meals without multitasking (ie mindful eating)

Make yourself a cup of tea and sit on a park bench or by the window and watch some birds.

People-watch at the coffee shop.

Write long emails or letters to friends and family instead of short texts.

Call and have a conversation with a loved one without multitasking.

Meditate.

Take a walk and enjoy nature.

Don't scroll through your phone while waiting in a line.

Read long posts when you come across them on your dashboard.

Have an ebook on your phone to read whenever you would normally scroll through social media.

Don't go on your phone/online for a certain amount of time before bed.

If you are having trouble doing these things, try to do one tasks but increase the stimuli of that task. For example, read a book while listening to the audiobook at the same time. Or listen to music while watching a lyric video. These are great baby steps!

Another great baby step is (like you said in your question) doing things for progressively longer amounts of time! Set a timer for a certain number of minutes and then read without distraction for that amount of time. That way it won't feel like it is never ending and you can track your progress.

Obviously not all of these will be for everyone and some of these are too hard for people with ADHD or serious attention issues, but they are a good place to start!

I hope that helps 💕

[jungkoode]

死 KKANGPAE | #14 死

† camping trip mysteries †

"You'd have never said you'd be involved in a Council of 9 meeting at any point in your life; yet here you are, suddenly thrusted into a mission with the Chief you've just hooked up with, because your life couldn't possibly get more complicated."

next | index

⚔ chapter details ⚔

word count: 9k

content: female friendships, silly conversations, Vyunjin, dodgeball, AD being horrible with throws, cryptic stuff, council meetings, having to work with jeon officially, gang loyalty and bestie gossip

☠ author's note ☠

 I really milked this camping trip for all it's worth, huh? Three whole chapters of outdoor shenanigans! I regret NOTHING. Anyway, here's the conclusion of our little nature excursion! Hope you enjoyed this slightly more chill setting (apart from, y'know, chapter 12's 👉🏻👌🏻 situation) because don't worry—there's PLENTY of time for everything to go spectacularly to shit later <3

MY KIWI HEAD 🥝🤧 I genuinely love him so much and I'm as surprised as you are! Who would have thought?? I seriously had ZERO intentions for Takama when I started this—no plan, no backstory, nothing. He just showed up in my brain one day demanding rights.

Maybe I love him so much because he's the only one with more than two functioning brain cells? Like, the man is just... chill. Nice. Using his fucking brain. Being all wise and grounding while everyone else is having emotional crises left and right. THE VOICE OF REASON IN THIS CIRCUS.

Takama x Reader endgame??? Jkjk this is a Jeon Jungkook fanfic ☝️ ...which doesn't mean shit won't happen before/after 👀

ANYWAY I'll leave you to make your own assumptions about our kiwi boy. All I'm saying is that sometimes characters write themselves into your heart and there's nothing you can do about it. Is it just me as an author having unhealthy attachments to my own creations? PROBABLY! You tell me!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go cry about my fictional characters for the fifth time this week. It's only Tuesday. Send help.

xoxo 💋

⚔ socials ⚔

read on ao3

read on wattpad

tumblr/twitter: @jungkoode

⋆⁺₊⋆ �� ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

The morning hike with Chaewon was exactly what you needed—fresh air, quiet trails... No drama.

But of course, you can't have nice things in Kkangpae.

Not when you return to find V lounging on a log like some tragic hero while J-Hope patches up his split lip.

"What the hell happened here?"

You eye the scene, already getting a headache. The thorny scent of roses fills your lungs as V gives you what immediately recognize as a smug smile.

"Just a little disagreement." V's smile is all teeth despite his busted lip. "Jeon can get rather feisty when he wants to."

J-Hope just rolls his eyes, clearly done with V's bullshit. He hands you a sanitary napkin without looking up, too busy sorting through his medical supplies—which basically means please help me deal with this drama queen.

You crouch next to V, ignoring how his eyes track your movement like he's a cat and you're the bird he wants to catch. The napkin comes away bloody when you dab at his lip, and his body tenses slightly under your touch—barely noticeable if you weren't trained to pick up on these things.

"Careful now." His voice drops low, playful. "I might bite."

You don't miss a beat.

"You bite, you get no help." The words come out flat, unimpressed. "I'm not one of your fangirls, V."

His games might work on others, but you've seen enough of his thorny side to know better.

Those roses have teeth.

A low chuckle breaks the tension. J-Hope's back with his medical supplies, but V's still watching you—though now with something that might be respect.

Or whatever passes for respect in that thorny mind of his.

"You really had it coming this time." J-Hope clicks his tongue, cranky doctor mode fully activated as he settles back down. "Jeon isn't someone you poke for fun without expecting consequences."

"Me?" V's eyebrow shoots up, all wounded innocence. "I was just having a friendly chat. Who knew our brooding Chief still had some fight left in him?"

The act doesn't fool anyone—especially not J-Hope, who (you bet your ass) has been patching up the aftermath of V's friendly chats' for years.

"Friendly chat?" J-Hope scoffs, dabbing at V's lip with more force than strictly necessary. "You two always turn everything into a dick-measuring contest. One of these days someone's gonna end up with worse than a busted lip."

V leans toward you like he's sharing a secret, mischief written all over his features. "He's just worried he'll run out of medical supplies if we keep this up."

You expect J-Hope to snap back—he usually does when people get like this.

But he just sighs, shoulders heavy with a worry that feels too genuine for the Kkangpae's ruthless doctor.

"Or maybe I'm worried you'll end up with a split skull, dumbass."

It's weird, the way it dribbles from his lips—like actual concern.

Which is weird in a place like this, where caring too much can get you killed. But then again, J-Hope's always been different. Maybe that's why he's one of the few people V actually listens to.

Sometimes?

V's eyes meet yours, like he's either hunting for something or escaping whatever was swirling in the doctor's pupils. Though, as everything with V, it vanishes instantly behind that shark-like grin.

"Ah, Hobi, always looking out for me. What would I do without you?"

"Probably be lying in a ditch somewhere." J-Hope says it casually, but his snark feels less blunt now. 

He gives V's shoulder a quick pat—kinda saying 'you're patched up, now get out of my face.' V nods his thanks, but his attention is already sliding back to you. His gaze lingers a bit too long, assessing.

"You've got a steady hand," he drawls, and you know he's not just talking about your first aid skills.

Thorns prickle your skin.

"And you've got a death wish." You hand the bloody napkin back to J-Hope, keeping your voice flat.

Unimpressed.

V's laugh shatters in the quiet. "Oh, you're interesting. I like you."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" You arch an eyebrow at him. "Coming from someone who just got his ass handed to him by Jeon, I'm not sure how much that's worth."

His smile widens; ever so slightly. Like what you said made him feel something—bad or good, you really don't care, but it's like his vines are slowly creeping into your lungs.

You just sigh, shrug it off. It's not your problem.

You've got enough on your plate without getting caught up in whatever dick-measuring contest is going on between V and Jeon.

Your attention abruptly shifts to Takama, sitting cross-legged in the grass like some zen master on his coffee break. Despite looking perfectly relaxed with his can of coffee, you know better—the man's probably cataloguing every movement in a three-mile radius.

He's just that kind of observant. It's just how he is, what he does, that much is clear from your training sessions with him.

Persistent without being belligerent; consistent without being insistent.

It's weird seeing him in casual clothes. The navy sweater and white collar combo is a far cry from his usual tactical gear, making him look almost... normal. Like he could be anyone's slightly intimidating older brother instead of Jeon's deadly second-in-command. Even his loose jeans seem deliberately chosen for comfort rather than combat.

He doesn't move a muscle as you approach, eyes fixed on the horizon like his mind has found refuge among the spongy dunes skittering away in the sky.

Or maybe he's just really into his morning coffee.

You plop down beside him, the damp grass immediately soaking through your pants because of course it does.

"Peaceful morning, isn't it?"

You break the silence, knowing Takama won't. Man's got the conversation skills of a particularly stoic rock when he wants to.

There's something calming about his presence though.

Like he's the drizzle after the hurricane.

Plus, he probably won't try to murder anyone over breakfast. Unlike some people you could name.

"Peace is rare around here." The corner of Takama's mouth quirks up slightly. "Savor it while it lasts."

You settle into the comfortable silence, watching the horizon paint itself in morning colors. Next to Takama, even coffee breaks feel philosophical.

"You and V," he starts, offering you the can. "You get along?"

You grab it and take a sip, considering your answer. The coffee's gone lukewarm.

"Hmm."

Yeah that's your answer, because you don't really know what to reply. It's definitely not a yes, but you don't... hate him either?

"He's a wildcard, but I can handle him," is what you end up settling for.

What follows is Takama's laugh—quiet, understated like everything else about him.

"V is... unpredictable. But he's loyal to the gang, in his own way." He pauses, choosing words carefully. "Just watch your back. Testing people is how he entertains himself."

You pass the can back, watching him take another sip. The liquid works through a swallow down his throat, and his Adam's apple bobs slightly. His head tilts towards you when he notices you've gone silent.

"And Jeon? How do you find working with him?"

The question makes your skin prickle, and you know it's not because of how sudden it is—but because of something else, as well.

Images from last night force their way through your mind like a wiggling worm unwilling to let go—callouses on skin, that silver lip ring, the way he'd touched you like you might break.

You take your time answering, very aware that this is Jeon's right-hand man asking—and that your neck probably still has marks his mouth left behind.

But you're not about to tell Takama that.

"He's... intense." You focus on shredding a blade of grass, needing something to do with your hands. "But we kind of... get each other, I guess."

Takama finally looks at you, and fuck—there's way too much understanding in those gray eyes.

Because with V you have a noncommittal answer.

But you just said you get along with Jeon. Kinda.

He doesn't comment on it, and it makes sense—being Jeon's second means he probably sees more than most.

About how hard exactly it is to be in Jeon's circle. Not part of it, not even near—just hovering.

It's not easy, you know that much.

"Jeon respects strength," he says quietly, like he's sharing a secret. "Stand your ground, and you'll earn his respect."

A pause. Then he adds, hushedly:

"Maybe more."

Your pupils flicker between his, trying to parse whatever the hell he means—but nothing in there gives you a hint.

He simply smiles, getting up and helping you up too.

You both turn back to watch the camp wake up, the morning routine starting to buzz around you.

Someone's cursing about cold showers. Someone else is complaining about AD.

You take another sip of lukewarm coffee, letting the bitterness ground you. It's easier than thinking about what maybe more might mean, or why your stomach churns at the thought.

Besides, you've got enough on your plate just dealing with regular Jeon.

You don't need to add cryptic messages to that mess.

The peaceful morning doesn't last long—because this is Kkangpae you're talking about.

Moon's voice cuts through your post-gossip haze, drawing everyone to the center of the camp like a very formal shepherd. Some people look about as thrilled as you feel about being up this early.

"All right, everyone!" He's got that tone—the one that says 'this is mandatory fun and you're going to like it.' "For today's lunch, we're doing something different. Group bibimbap, but with a twist: you'll work in pairs."

A ripple of murmurs spreads through the crowd. You catch Takama's eye—he just raises an eyebrow like 'here we go again'.

"These pairings," Moon continues, all business in his long coat despite the casual setting, "are chosen to mix different divisions and personalities. It's about teamwork and learning from each other."

You barely hold back a snort. Trust Moon to turn lunch prep into a team-building exercise.

Your attention snaps back when he calls out, "Y/N, you're paired with JM. I expect great things from you two."

Well, that could've been worse. At least JM's not likely to stab you over vegetable chopping techniques.

When you reach him, he's already smiling that gentle smile that makes him look more like a kindergarten teacher than a gang's financial mastermind.

"Looks like we're a team." His voice matches his whole vibe—calm as a lake on a windless day. "Any ideas on what we should tackle?"

You're about to answer when a groan cuts through your chat with JM.

You turn to see AD looking like someone just deleted his gaming setup, while J-Hope's already got that 'done with this shit' smile plastered on his face.

"Bro, why the fuck am I always paired with your annoying ass?" AD slumps against a tree, all dramatic like the gremlin he is.

J-Hope just rolls his eyes. "Because Moon loves to torture me, that's why. Come on, let's just get this over with."

Your eyes inevitably roam around the clearing, taking in the other pairings.

Jeon and Chaewon—they acknowledge each other with matching professional nods, something like 'we respect each other but let's keep this strictly business' hovering over them.

Takama and Jessi make an oddly perfect pair, his zen energy somehow containing her wildfire spirit as they huddle together, already plotting.

V's got Yunjin trapped in what looks like his usual chaotic storytelling, though she seems to be holding her own—and then there's Eunchae and Sakura, who look like they're planning to turn lunch prep into some kind of competition.

Meanwhile, Kazuha's hanging onto Moon's every word like he's sharing the secrets of the universe instead of just bibimbap instructions.

"So." JM's gentle voice pulls you back. "Should we handle the veggies? I think we could make a great team in chopping and prepping them."

"Sounds good to me." You find yourself matching his easy smile. "Let's show them how it's done."

At least someone in this chaos circus knows how to be normal.

You follow JM to gather supplies, falling into an easy rhythm. His gentle energy is oddly reassuring, and makes even veggie prep feel zen.

Plus, he actually knows what he's doing, which is more than you can say for half the pairs around you.

Because AD's already whining about something while J-Hope ignores him completely.

Yeah; that's Kkangpae for you.

But then you catch sight of V with Yunjin and your stomach turns, why, you don't know. Poor Yunjin's holding her knife like she's never seen one before, eyes darting around nervously.

And its knives, so yeah, V swoops right in.

"Let me show you," he purrs, and fuck him for actually sounding smooth.

You see his hand sliding over hers, like he isn't the same person who had blood on his lip an hour ago.

"There's a rhythm to it, like a dance." You watch him press closer, caging Yunjin with his body while he guides the knife. "Feel the movement. It's about confidence, purpose."

"Like this?" Yunjin's voice is small, breathless.

"Exactly like that." He eases into it. "Every slice tells a story of precision and care. And you, Yunjin, have a knack for it."

You grip your own knife tighter, fighting the urge to stab those thorny vines right out of the air. He's charming, you'll give him that.

But you fear the sweet floral scent roses simply masks decaying waste underneath.

And he needs to stay the fuck away from Yunjin.

You can't help noticing how she melts under his attention, all shy smiles and batting eyelashes. Like a moth drawn to a particularly deadly flame.

"There, you're a pro now." V steps back with a wink.

"Thanks, V." Yunjin beams up at him. "I think I've got it from here."

A slight movement catches your eye—JM's knife has stopped mid-chop.

His gaze darts between V and Yunjin like he's watching a car crash in slow motion, and it's real subtle, but you catch the way his jaw tightens.

"JM," you keep your voice casual, "you seem a bit distracted. Everything okay?"

He snaps back to his vegetables, gentle smile sliding back. "Oh, it's nothing. Just... observing the dynamics. It's interesting to see how different personalities interact, don't you think?"

You nod, watching V circle Yunjin. "True. Especially with V. Makes you wonder what goes on behind that smile."

"Exactly." His smile is halfhearted at best. "Sometimes, the most cheerful faces hide the deepest stories."

The way he says it makes you wonder just how many of V's stories JM knows.

And how many of them keep him up at night.

You and JM fall into a comfortable rhythm again, just hearing AD complaining about something, Eunchae's bright laughter, the clatter of pots and pans.

Then—crash.

Your head snaps up, muscles tensing automatically. Old habits die hard in Kkangpae.

It's Chaewon.

She's standing frozen, an overturned pot at her feet, staring at one of Jessi's guys like she's seen a ghost. His hand hangs awkwardly in the air where it had brushed against hers. You can see her breathing speed up—tell-tale sign of panic she's never shown before.

JM's knife stills mid-chop. Before you can blink, he's already moving toward her.

Jessi's there too, quickly motioning for the guy to back off—and he does, looking confused and apologetic, but you notice how Chaewon's shoulders drop slightly once he's out of reach.

JM murmurs something to her, too low for you to hear (though you bet that gentle voice of his could probably talk down a rabid bear). Chaewon gives a tiny nod, but her knuckles are still white where she's gripping her sleeve.

When Jessi touches her shoulder, you catch that silent conversation between the three of them.

The kind that comes from knowing someone's demons intimately.

"Alright, everyone, back to work." Jessi shouts. "Nothing to see here. Let's keep the focus on the task at hand."

Everyone turns back to their tasks, but you don't miss how JM stays close to Chaewon, or how Jessi's eyes keep scanning the crowd like she's daring anyone to make this worse.

JM hovers near her for another minute before coming back to your chopping station, and when he does, he picks up his knife and starts slicing carrots like nothing's happened at all.

"Guess we all have our off days, huh?" You keep your voice light, casual. No pressure.

JM's knife stills for a moment. He doesn't look up.

"Everyone has ghosts they're running from." The words come out soft. "Some just hide them better than others."

You let the silence settle. There's an unspoken rule in the gang—you don't go digging in other people's graveyards unless they hand you the shovel first.

"I'm gonna wash up," you mutter, already heading for the makeshift sink, feeling like he needs some silence before being back to normal.

Behind you, JM's knife resumes its path against the cutting board.

You're shaking water off your hands when footsteps approach from behind. Months in Kkangpae have taught you to be alert even for something as mundane as washing up after veggie prep.

"So you do know how to clean up."

The low drawl sends heat crawling up your spine. You know that voice—and the smirk that goes with it—without having to turn around.

"Turns out, I'm full of surprises." You flick excess water in Jeon's direction, catching his dangerous half-smile when you glance over your shoulder.

His chuckle hits you right in the gut, deep and rich and —fuck—suddenly all you can think about is last night.

His hands, his mouth, the way he'd made you shatter.

"Surprising indeed." There's that smug tone again. "Especially since I recall someone being too fucked out to help with cleanup duty."

"Well," you drop your voice low, just for him, "if you hadn't made such a goddamn mess, there'd have been less to clean up."

Your body remembers how close you'd been—how you'd ground against each other like teenagers, desperate and needy.

How his cock had felt pressed against you, so close but not close enough because someone didn't bring protection.

The frustration from last night still burns under your skin, reminder of what could have been.

If he'd just been prepared...

Jeon steps closer, and—fuck—even after last night, his presence still makes your skin prickle.

"A mess, you say? The way I remember it, you were just as responsible for the chaos."

"Chaos?" You meet his gaze head-on, refusing to back down even as heat crawls up your neck. "Don't flatter yourself, Jeon. It was... mild disarray at best."

His grin widens, and you hate how your eyes keep tracking that stupid lip piercing.

"Mild disarray? You were panting like you'd run through every back alley in Seoul."

You scoff, trying not to remember how he'd made you shake, how his hands had felt mapping every inch of you.

"Breathless, maybe. But let's not blow it out of proportion."

"Hah." His eyes narrow. "You've got a sharp tongue. But we both know—"

A shout from across the camp makes you both freeze. Your eyes meet his for a split second before you step apart, smooth as shadows. Professional. Like you weren't just thinking about climbing him like a tree.

Again.

You turn away, finally letting out that breath you'd been holding.

The banter gets you hot under the collar but fuck if you don't want more. Not that you'll admit that.

Even if part of you is already plotting round two.

This time with actual protection. Because seriously.

"Anyway," his voice cuts through your thoughts, "we should get back to work. Long day ahead."

"Right." You nod, and then go right back to prepping veggies.

Yeah. This is going to be a very long day indeed.

The smell of bibimbap hits different after spending all morning chopping vegetables next to JM's weirdly zen energy.

And yup—everyone's gathering around the portable tables, looking stupidly proud of their contributions like they didn't just spend half the morning complaining about Moon's team-building exercise.

You grab a spot next to Yunjin, who's already halfway through telling you about her latest drama obsession; eyes practically sparkling as she waves her chopsticks around.

"No but listen—the main lead thinks his brother died in that fire, right?" She leans in close, pink hair falling in her face. "But then in episode sixteen we find out he's actually been alive this whole time! Living in China!"

You nearly choke on your rice. "That's the most unrealistic plot twist I've ever—"

"Mind if I join?" Takama's calm voice slices through Yunjin's enthusiastic plot summary; slight smile that makes him look more like a monk than Jeon's deadly second-in-command.

"Pull up a chair." You scoot over to make room. "Yunjin's educating me on the finer points of melodrama."

"Ah." His eyes crinkle as he settles in. "The ones where everyone's secretly related and nobody stays dead?"

"Exactly!" Yunjin beams. "Like this one where the brooding CEO's got a secret relationship—"

"Should've fought harder for the meat distribution," you murmur, poking at your mostly vegetable bibimbap.

Before you can finish sighing about your protein deficiency, Takama's chopsticks appear in your line of sight, depositing a generous portion of beef onto your plate.

"Here. I prefer vegetables anyway."

"Liar." But you're already mixing the meat into your rice, trying not to look too pleased. "Thanks."

Yunjin pouts at that, surely expecting some meat too (even when her plate shows basically 0 vegetables anyway). You kick her under the table, and she almost bounces with a chuckle.

"So, V's actually a really good teacher," she says dreamily, pushing her rice around. "Did you know he used to work in a restaurant?"

You cough.

V's "restaurant" experience probably involved more knife-work than cooking.

"Is that so?" Takama asks, slightly puzzled.

"Mhm!" She sighs, all starry-eyed. "And he's so patient. The way he showed me how to hold the knife—"

"Speaking of knives," Takama cuts in smoothly, "your technique has improved, Y/N. Been practicing?"

You're grateful for the subject change. Watching Yunjin moon over V is like watching a butterfly land on a Venus flytrap.

"Yeah, well. Can't let the Seduction Division down, right?"

His smile is small but genuine. "Right."

Movement then catches your eye—Chaewon's heading your way, black bob bouncing with each step. She smiles when she spots you, but you don't miss how she falters slightly when she notices Takama. Her eyes dart between him and the empty space beside you, calculating.

For a second, you think she might turn around.

But then she simply strides over like she owns the place, sliding into the spot next to you.

You don't miss how she angles her body away from Takama, though.

"What's got everyone looking so serious?" She bumps your shoulder playfully. "Don't tell me Yunjin's got you all hooked on her dramas too."

"Not all of us can be as cultured as Yunjin." You grin as Yunjin pretends to be offended. "We were just discussing the finer points of V's... cooking techniques."

That makes Yunjin blush, but Chaewon's eyes sharpen. You catch that protective glint—the same one she gets whenever any of the male members get too close to her division.

"Oh?" Her voice is light, but there's steel underneath. "And how did you find our resident psychopath's teaching methods?"

"Come on, he was really patient!" Yunjin pipes up. "And his hands were so—"

"Speaking of hands," Chaewon interjects quickly, "I heard there was quite the incident at morning coffee. Something about Jeon's right hook meeting V's face?"

Trust Chaewon to steer the conversation away from V's charms while gathering intel in the same breath. Sometimes you forget she's your Chief for a reason.

Heels on grass make your eyes stutter behind Chaewon's silhouette.

It's Jessi; obviously—who claims the spot next to Takama, all long red hair and confident energy.

She's probably the only person who can make eating bibimbap look like a power move.

"Well, well." She waves her chopsticks at your little group. "What's this about dramas? Please tell me someone's finally calling out how unrealistic those chaebol storylines are."

"We were discussing layers," you explain, watching her pile kimchi onto her rice with the same precision she probably uses to plan weapons shipments. "You know, how people aren't always what they seem."

"Like how our fearless Chief here—" she angles her head towards Chaewon, "—pretends to be all business, but I caught her crying over cat videos last week?"

"That was one time." Chaewon tries to glare but can't quite hide her smile. "And you promised not to tell."

"Please." Jessi snorts. "Everyone knows you're a softie under all that badassery. Remember when you threatened to shoot that guy who made Eunchae cry?"

"He deserved it." Chaewon's voice goes flat, protective instincts flashing. "Nobody messes with my girls."

"And that's exactly what we mean," Yunjin pipes up, somehow making even this observation sound sweet. "Everyone's got different sides. Like how Jessi acts tough but always saves the last strawberry milk for AD."

"Oi—" Jessi points her chopsticks at Yunjin threateningly, but there's no malice in it. "Just for that, you're testing all the new rifles when we get back to the castle. Someone needs to make sure they don't jam."

Something about the easiness of the conversation makes something unfurl in your chest.

It's weird seeing these deadly women just... being friends. Sharing lunch and inside jokes like they aren't some of the most dangerous people in Seoul.

But then again, maybe that's exactly what Yunjin meant about layers.

"Sooo," Jessi prompts, "who wants to share their deep dark secrets? Come on, don't be shy."

"Real subtle, Joo." Chaewon rolls her eyes, but you catch that tiny smile she always gets around Jessi. "What's next, trust falls?"

"I'd let you fall." Jessi winks, making Chaewon snort into her rice.

Takama, who's been quiet this whole time, surprises everyone by speaking up. "Sometimes the secrets we keep aren't about trust. Sometimes they're about protection."

"Like how we all pretend AD doesn't secretly feed the stray cats behind the castle?" Yunjin singsongs then.

That breaks the tension, sending ripples of laughter around the group.

Even Takama cracks a smile.

"Or how Jessi acts tough but cried during that dog commercial last week?" Chaewon dodges the grape Jessi throws at her head.

"That dog was reunited with its family," Jessi hisses, but she's fighting back a grin. "Forgive me for having a heart."

"Yeah, buried somewhere under those nine inch heels."

You smile at that, and you note how the sun is high over head now, warming skin through the trees.

You should probably get back to work—those intel reports won't file themselves. But for now, you let yourself enjoy this moment of peace.

Even gang members need lunch breaks sometimes.

Dodgeball is usually fun. Keyword: usually—because when it's among deadly people... competitiveness is too light of a word.

You're in the middle of debating some strategy with Yunjin when Jeon's presence immediately freezes the whole camp. One second you're planning how to take down AD's team (he might be a tech genius but his aim is shit), and the next—

"Meeting. Council of 9, now."

Jeon's voice is calm, as usual. But it's precise, blunt in a way that makes your hackles rise. His face gives nothing away—typical—but something in his posture screams urgent.

The Council members share quick looks before following him into the trees. Moon's already at his side, glasses catching the sunlight. Chaewon squeezes your shoulder as she passes, and Jessi winks at Yunjin, but neither stops to explain.

Just like that, your cozy little camping trip turns into a war room—playful energy from moments ago gone, leaving behind the familiar sensation that comes with being in a criminal organization.

"Damn." Yunjin drops onto the bench beside you, pink hair falling in her face. "Even on a camping trip, we can't escape the threats."

Your little lunch group now feels weirdly empty without Jessi's loud energy and Chaewon's dry comments. You catch yourself staring at the path where they disappeared, like maybe if you look hard enough you'll develop x-ray vision.

So much for that epic dodgeball tournament you'd planned. Although honestly? Getting hit with rubber balls suddenly seems like the least of your problems.

"It's just how things work around here." Takama shrugs, wiping sweat from his shaved head.

Of course the dodgeball game's been put on hold, everyone too distracted by the Council's sudden disappearance to focus.

"Hey, Takemichi!" Eunchae bounces over, still flushed from running around. "Any idea what's going on? You're like, Jeon's right hand and all."

Takama's eye twitches at the nickname, but he doesn't comment on it. "No clue. But Jeon doesn't call meetings without good reason. Especially not during planned activities."

Your eyes drift to where the Council members vanished into the trees. It's odd seeing Jeon actually interact with people—the man's about as social as a brick wall. Even J-Hope, who he supposedly tolerates, barely gets more than grunts out of him most days. That whole don't-fuck-with-me hurricane aura of his keeps everyone at a safe distance.

And yet.

You'd fucked him.

Well, kinda.

Heat crawls up your neck as you mentally reminisce about last night.

Pride mingles with something else as you remember that untouchable Chief's face when he came all over your belly.

Focus, dumbass. Now isn't the time to replay your greatest hits. If Jeon's gathering the Council in the middle of fucking dodgeball, something's definitely wrong.

"Do you think it's..." Yunjin chews her lip, lowering her voice. "MDF?"

The mention of Myung-dong Faction makes everyone's faces go pale.

"Hard to say." Takama's voice drops to barely above a whisper. "But we did just wreck their trafficking ring. Hanjun's gone now. They're not known for letting that kind of thing slide."

You share a look with Yunjin and Eunchae. You remember Hanjun from your last mission—the way he'd crumpled when Kkangpae was done with him.

The way his whole operation had fallen apart like a house of cards.

Sakura's usually bright face is serious as she crouches next to you. "If it's MDF, we're fucked."

"They've been too quiet." Kazuha runs a hand through her wine-colored hair, eyes scanning the treeline like she expects assassins to materialize. "That's not their style. Not after what we did to their golden boy."

And she's right, isn't she? MDF isn't known for their forgive-and-forget attitude. Their silence these past weeks has been... unsettling. Like holding your breath underwater, knowing you'll have to surface eventually.

"Whatever it is, we need to be ready." Eunchae sighs. "Can't let our guard down. Not even here."

"We need to be united now more than ever." Takama's voice rumbles low as he scans the treeline."Division only makes us vulnerable, they might aim for that."

And he's right; because Kkangpae's strength isn't just in its firepower—it's in moments like this, when everyone's got each other's backs.

"Whatever the Council needs," you say, meaning it. "We've got their six."

The group falls quiet, the forgotten dodgeball lying between you like some sad metaphor for your interrupted normalcy. Somewhere in the distance, a bird calls. You almost miss it under the sound of your heart pounding.

A rustle in the bushes makes you lean back.

Though it's just J-Hope, looking way too serious for someone who was laughing at AD's failed dodgeball throws ten minutes ago.

"They need you." His eyes find yours, steady and unreadable. "Jeon asked for you specifically."

You share a quick look with Takama, and he's wearing the same exact puzzled expression as you.

"Me? Why would he—"

J-Hope just shakes his head. Great. Because being summoned by the dude you almost fucked last night during a secret Council meeting isn't complicated enough.

But you don't really have much choice, so you trail behind J-Hope like a kid being called to the principal's office, mind racing faster than your heart.

What the actual fuck could Jeon want? And why during the middle of dodgeball, of all things?

The Council's little forest hideaway comes into view, and suddenly you've got nine pairs of eyes drilling into you.

Great. Just great. Nothing like being stared at by the most dangerous people in Seoul while you're in workout clothes and probably still red-faced from almost getting beaned by AD's wild throws.

Jeon stands like a statue among them, and he speaks immediately upon seeing you.

"We have a situation that needs your input."

No greeting, no explanation, just straight to the point. Pure Jeon. You'd roll your eyes if you weren't so aware of every Council member watching you.

"Remember your first mission?" Chaewon continues. "The women we rescued? You were the only one who actually saw them in that room."

Of course you remember—hard not to, even if you wish you wouldn't.

That cramped, dark room with its rusty bars and stale air. Women huddled in corners like broken birds, some too afraid to even look up when you'd entered.

Your first real taste of what the Seduction Division actually does.

Not the glamorous spy shit you'd imagined, but the ugly, necessary work of saving people from monsters.

"Remember what any of the women looked like?" Chaewon presses.

You try to remember, but the thing that comes first is the smell of fear and desperation—thick enough to choke on.

Then it's their faces. Burned into your brain. And then... hers.

"There was one girl," you start carefully, watching the Council's reactions. "Couldn't have been more than eighteen. Skinny thing, but her eyes..."

You pause, searching for the right words.

"Even in that shithole, she was... I don't know. Like she was just waiting for a chance to burn the whole place down."

You catch the tiny shift in Jessi's jaw, the way her fingers tighten around her weapon.

The air feels like a forest fire waiting to happen.

"Dark reddish-brown hair," you continue, the details getting clearer as you speak. "Matted to hell, but you could tell it was beautiful once. And the way she held herself..."

"That's enough." Jeon interrupts you. "Your recollection could prove useful. We believe that girl is connected to one of our own. This isn't some random MDF hit."

Your stomach drops. Because shit—that... That changes everything.

MDF might be brutal, but they're not stupid.

Kidnapping someone connected to Kkangpae? That's not just an attack—it's a message.

A very personal message.

You watch the Council's faces, trying to read between the lines.

If MDF knows enough to target someone specific, how much else do they know? How deep have they dug into everyone's past?

The thought makes your skin crawl.

"Now we know this is personal." Chaewon's voice is ice-cold, all business. "The question is, how do we respond?"

"We hit back." Jessi's voice cracks like a whip, raw and broken. "Show those fuckers what happens when you mess with Kkangpae."

J-Hope reaches for her shoulder, ever the voice of reason. "I know you want blood, Jessi. But an all-out war will only get innocent people killed."

Jessi jerks away from his touch, but you see how her hands shake. 

"I should've been there," she whispers, more to herself than anyone else. "I should never have left them alone."

The pain in her voice makes your chest tight; you've never seen Jessi like this—like she's barely holding herself together.

"Why don't we just storm their headquarters and slaughter them all?" V (who's been conspicuously quiet until now) raises his voice.

The guy is just leaning back against a tree, playing with a butterfly knife like he thinks he's the Joker or something.

"Picture it." His smile grows wider, more unhinged. "Their precious hideout painted red, bodies everywhere. We could string up their leaders—or what's left of them—as a warning."

JM gives him one look—one that somehow manages to pierce through V's psychotic haze. Like he's the only person besides RM who can actually rein him in when he gets like this.

V slumps back with an exaggerated pout, thorny aura receding slightly. The switch from bloodthirsty to playful is so fast it gives you whiplash.

"As entertaining as that sounds," JM's voice is steady, like a calm lake washing away V's chaos, "we need precision here. Not a bloodbath."

"You never let me have fun." V whines like a kid denied candy instead of mass murder. "But fine, we'll be civilized."

JM turns back to the Council. "Please continue. V's just... working through some things. He understands the need for balance."

Jeon's face gives nothing away, but you notice how his jaw tightens. Having to share space with V is bad enough—having to listen to his murder fantasies is clearly testing what little patience he has left.

"As I was saying..." Jeon continues.

JM gives V another one of those looks and V slumps against the tree.

The thorny scent of roses fades to something more bearable, though you can tell he's just waiting for another chance to suggest mass murder.

"I might have a better idea." AD clears his throat. "A bloodbath would be satisfying, sure, but we need intel first. Something clean and quiet that gives us some advantage."

You watch him run a hand through his messy blonde hair, thinking three steps ahead while looking like he just rolled out of bed.

"We know where their hideout is. Send in a small team, two people max. Get their data, their plans, their weak spots." He pauses, letting that sink in. "Information is better than bullets right now."

The Council members exchange looks. Even V stops fidgeting with his knife. You catch Jeon's shoulders relaxing slightly—he knows a good plan when he hears one.

"Stealth does play to our strengths," Jeon admits, and his eyes flick to you for a split second. "Who did you have in mind?"

AD jerks his chin toward you.

"She's perfect for this. Hanjun's well acquainted with Flower now, but Y/N? She was only there for the takedown. He never had time to report back about her or the other girls. But between all of them," he adds, "she's the only one who got to see all the girls."

Suddenly you've got nine of Seoul's most dangerous criminals staring at you. But you meet Jeon's gaze head-on, refusing to flinch.

Finally—a chance to prove yourself.

And maybe get some answers about what's really going on with MDF.

"She's just an ensign." JM mumbles. "She's gonna need backup."

The Chiefs exchange looks, probably running through a mental list of who they could trust not to fuck this up. Your heart's still pounding from being called in, from learning about this mission that could change everything.

"Jeon will lead this operation." RM's voice leaves no room for argument. Like he's announcing the weather, except the weather is your hookup being assigned as your partner.

Amazing, really love that for you.

"You're picking him for stealth?" V's voice goes high with indignation, like someone just insulted his knife collection. "I'm literally the Chief of Stealth Assassinations. What the actual fuck?"

Thorns prickle the air, sharp with offense. You definitely catch Jeon's tiny smirk—he's enjoying V's tantrum way too much.

"Jeon has the discipline this requires." RM's tone could freeze hell itself. "We can't afford your... creative interpretations of orders right now."

V opens his mouth—probably to suggest murdering everyone involved, knowing him—but JM slaps a hand over it. The look V gives him could kill a lesser man, but JM just raises an eyebrow.

"This mission's success is crucial." RM continues like V isn't plotting JM's death with his eyes. "We need strategy, not chaos."

You watch Jeon's face carefully. His expression gives nothing away, but you just know he's thinking the same thing you are:

How the fuck are you two supposed to focus on a stealth mission when you can barely keep your hands off each other?

"Come on," V's voice drags after getting rid of JM's hand, "we all remember how well these two work together. Like gasoline and a lit match. Either they'll kill each other or fuck like rabbits. Not ideal for a stealth op, eh?"

JM smacks his shoulder, but V just grins wider. Your face burns as Jeon goes rigid beside you, like a gathering strength.

If looks could kill, V would be six feet under from the glare Jeon's sending him.

You stare very intently at a patch of grass, fighting the urge to squirm, because V has no idea how close to home that "fucking like rabbits" comment hits.

Or maybe he does—you can never tell what that psycho actually knows.

"Enough." JM sighs. "RM's guidance is sound. Jeon, you're our best strategic mind. Tactical is probably our best approach right now."

Jeon's jaw works for a moment before he gives a sharp nod. "Understood. I'll lead the operation."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

Stuck on a stealth mission with the guy you've secretly hooked up with, while his psychotic sworn enemy watches and makes sex jokes.

Just another day in Kkangpae.

"For now," RM's redirects the conversation swiftly, "let's focus on the task at hand. This camping trip was meant to build unity and trust. We can't lose sight of that."

Unity and trust.

Right.

Because nothing says team bonding like sending you and the guy you're dying to have sex with to infiltrate enemy territory while pretending you've never seen each other naked.

"There will be time later to prepare for the mission." He adds. "But while we're here, I expect everyone's full commitment to this team-building exercise."

Jeon surprises you by actually looking... chastened? as he gives RM a short nod. "You're right. My priorities were misplaced. I apologize for the disruption."

And that's... New. You've never heard Jeon apologize for anything.

But then again, RM's probably the only person in Seoul who could make him bow down. The amount of respect Jeon has for him is almost an entity of its own.

"No need to apologize." RM's stern expression softens slightly. "Let's refocus together on strengthening our bonds as a crew."

More team bonding. Because that's exactly what you need right now... bonding,̶ ̶o̶r̶ b̶o̶n̶i̶n̶g̶?̶

You give Jeon one last look before V's voice cuts through, all manic energy as usual.

"Last one back has to clean everyone's dishes!"

And then he just... takes off running like the psychopath he is, thorns receding with him. Because of course he'd turn this into a competition.

"Oh, fuck no!" Jessi kicks off her heels, already sprinting after him in bare feet. "I am not cleaning after his ass."

Chaewon and JM share this look—probably something like 'we're both too dignified for this shit' passing between them before they're running too, probably realizing nobody wants to risk V winning anything.

"How childish." J-Hope rolls his eyes, but AD's already got that gleam he gets when someone issues a challenge.

"Childish?" AD's grin is pure evil. "I bet I could eat enough for ten people. Give you something real nice to clean."

"You little shit—" J-Hope takes off after him. "Get back here!"

You glance back at Jeon and RM, both still walking like they're above such peasant activities.

But fuck it—you're already sweaty from dodgeball, might as well commit to the chaos.

"Think I'll take AD's strategy." You flash Jeon your sweetest smile. "Eat everything in sight, let someone else deal with cleanup."

You're running before he can reply, laughter bubbling up.

And then, merely a few second later, you hear his steady footsteps turn into something faster.

Looks like even the mighty Chief can't resist a challenge.

The campsite comes into view through the trees, and you pick up your pace.

You jog into the clearing, lungs burning, only to find V and RM already there.

What the actualfuck?

"How did RM beat us?" The words come out between gasps.

The man runs a criminal empire in designer suits, for fuck's sake. He shouldn't be able to outrun anyone.

V just grins that Cheshire cat smile of his and then, Jessi, Chaewon and JM stumble in next, all tangled together and cackling like teenagers.

"JM's face when I almost tripped him—" Jessi wheezes, red hair wild from running.

Everyone else filters in gradually, catching their breath and comparing notes on who cheated (definitely V).

But oddly enough, there's no sign (or sound) of J-Hope or AD.

Then—

"You absolute fucking cockwomble, let go before I rearrange your face!"

"Not happening, you lil' bitch. I'm not cleaning your blood off the floor again!"

You turn to find J-Hope and AD crashing through the underbrush like drunk bears, locked in what has to be the world's most undignified wrestling match. AD's blonde hair is full of leaves, and J-Hope's pristine turtleneck is covered in dirt.

Seoul's most dangerous gang, ladies and gentlemen.

Truly terrifying.

"You wanna fucking go, asshole?" AD thrashes like a feral cat, trying to land a hit on J-Hope. "I'll rip out your spine and use it as a fucking ethernet cable!"

But J-Hope's got him locked down, using his height advantage like the bastard he is. AD might be scrappy, but the doctor's got experience wrestling patients into submission.

"You need to get out of this unscathed first, you dumbass—"

"Then I'll download your consciousness into a punching bag," AD snarls, still fighting. "Have you getting hit for eternity, you piece of shit!"

Their little death match stumbles closer to camp. J-Hope's got AD in a headlock now, ignoring the increasingly creative threats being spewed at his face.

"I'll be patching you up after this, you psychotic gremlin." J-Hope finally slams AD into the dirt, probably enjoying this way too much. "Maybe I'll sew a live rat in your stomach. Let it chew its way out through your organs."

They keep wrestling, but it's getting pathetic—like watching two drunk uncles fight at a family barbecue. Both of them are red-faced and panting, shirts half-ripped from trying to hold each other back.

You can't help noticing they look wrecked—covered in sweat and leaves.

Actually...

"They must've been holding each other back the whole way here." You snort.

No wonder they're last. These idiots literally spent the entire race trying to murder each other.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" V's voice rings out like a demented game show host. "Our esteemed winners, graceful as ever!"

J-Hope and AD freeze mid-choke hold, finally noticing their audience.

The look of pure horror on their faces is priceless.

"Dish duty it is, boys!" Jessi's grin is absolutely feral.

AD shoves J-Hope off like an angry cat, but they're both too winded from their pathetic wrestling match to do more than hurl insults at each other.

"This is all your fucking fault!" AD jabs a finger at J-Hope's chest, looking about as threatening as a wet Pomeranian. "If you hadn't grabbed me—"

"My fault?" J-Hope's voice gets higher. "Big words from someone shaped like a fun-sized candy bar!"

"Say that again, you overgrown fucking giraffe!" AD tries to lunge but stumbles, still panting. "I fucking dare you!"

RM steps in before they can start round two of the world's most embarrassing fight.

"That's enough, you two. We all enjoyed the show, but it's time to work."

They both shut up immediately—even AD knows better than to test RM's patience. But the glares they shoot each other could probably melt steel.

"Can't believe I'm stuck with your ass for cleanup duty," AD grumbles, brushing leaves out of his blonde hair.

"Trust me, I'd rather perform surgery blindfolded. But maybe next time you'll think twice before dragging me down with you."

"As if I need help being slow from someone who runs like a drunk giraffe."

Their bickering fades as they head back to camp, still shoving each other like kindergarteners fighting over the last juice box.

Well. At least you'll enjoy a show during dinner time tonight.

One would think dinner time would be dulled down now, after the Council meeting earlier.

But nope—gang members are scattered around the fires like this is some post apocalypse scavenging situation.

You can't help watching V with Yunjin. He's leaning in close and probably whispering some bullshit about knives being romantic or whatever gets him going.

And Yunjin—sweet, perceptive Yunjin who usually sees right through everyone's bullshit—is eating it up. She's doing that thing where she plays with her hair, pink strands twisting around her finger while she giggles at whatever murder joke V's telling.

You snort into your food, because you just don't get what's it with these two.

The weirdest part? Even knowing what V's capable of (the rumors about his "artistic approach" to killing make your skin crawl), you kind of get why people fall for his act.

He's got that whole dangerous charm thing down to an art.

"Hey stranger!" Eunchae drops onto the bench beside you, nearly knocking over your drink. Sakura slides in more gracefully across from you, because someone in your division has to have coordination.

"What was the super secret meeting about? You went in looking normal and came out all..." Eunchae waves her chopsticks vaguely. "You know. Intense."

"Classified." You shrug, trying not to think about what that meeting means for you and a certain hurricane-aura'd Chief. "Above your pay grade."

"Ugh, you're no fun." She slumps dramatically against your shoulder. "I wish I could join the Council just to know all the juicy stuff."

"We're here if you need to talk," Sakura adds quietly, and fuck—sometimes you forget how perceptive your division can be.

"Thanks." You bump Eunchae's shoulder, warmth blooming in your chest. These idiots might be professional honey traps, but they're your idiots. "I mean it."

You go back to your food, half-listening to Eunchae's story about some mark who thought cryptocurrency was foreplay. But your eyes keep drifting to V and Yunjin.

What's your friendly neighborhood psychopath plotting this time?

However, the first drops of rain quickly hit your food like tiny bullets. Within seconds, the drizzle turns into a full-blown downpour because of courseit does.

Nothing like a surprise shower to end your deeply suspicious dinner observations.

"Oh, come on." Eunchae snatches up her plate, already running for cover, chestnut hair plastered to her face by the time she makes it three steps.

Your eyes snap to where V still has Yunjin trapped in conversation. They're both getting soaked but Yunjin's still hanging on his every word, pink hair turning darker in the rain.

"Yunjin!" You pitch your voice to carry over the rain. "Unless you want to catch pneumonia, might want to wrap it up!"

She blinks like she's coming out of a trance, finally noticing she's halfway to drowned. The spell breaks—thank fuck—and she hurries over to you, gathering her stuff with slightly shaky hands.

"Thanks for the save." Her voice is quiet, almost sheepish. "Got a bit... distracted."

"Yeah, no shit." You grab her arm, steering her toward your tent. "Let's get inside before we both melt."

You dodge through the chaos of gang members running for shelter, curses mixing with laughter. Someone—probably AD—slips in a mud puddle and lets out a string of creative profanity that would make a sailor blush.

The relative safety of your tent feels like crossing a finish line. The rain hammers against the canvas, but at least you're dry.

Well. Drier.

The rain doesn't let up for hours, turning the campsite into something out of a moody indie film. But inside your tent? It's like a sleepover bubble—wrapped up in cozy blankets and the glow from Yunjin's phone where some poor actor is having his third dramatic breakdown of the episode.

Yunjin's using your stomach as a pillow, pink hair splayed across your hoodie while she decimates the bag of chips between you. Every few minutes her hand dives in without looking, too focused on whatever absurd plot twist is happening now.

"This one's actually decent," she murmurs, smiling at the screen where someone's probably discovering their evil twin or something.

"If you say so." You can't help grinning as the male lead clutches his chest like he's having a heart attack over a text message. "These writers must be on something wild. Like, who comes up with this shit?"

Her giggle vibrates against your stomach.

"That's why they're fun! You never know what's coming next." She tilts her head back to look at you. "Kind of like living here, right? Never a dull moment in Kkangpae."

"God, don't jinx it." But you're laughing too because she's not wrong. Your life has definitely taken some drama-worthy turns lately. "Though I hope we're at least more realistic than that."

You both fall into easy conversation, trading comments about the show and today's chaos. When the male lead starts laying it on thick with the female lead, you see your chance. Time to figure out what the hell V was playing at earlier with all that knife teaching.

"So." You poke Yunjin's side with your toe, aiming for casual. "What's with you and V today? The whole knife lesson thing seemed... weird."

Yunjin doesn't look away from her drama. Of course she doesn't.

"I mean, have you seen him?" She sighs dreamily. "He's like a walking thirst trap. Those hands..."

"Oh my god." You stare down at her pink head in disbelief. "You'd actually fuck him? Like, actually actually?"

She finally tears her eyes from the screen, twisting to grin up at you with zero shame. "Why not? Life's too short not to ride at least one psychopath, right?"

The silence stretches.

"What?" She raises an eyebrow at your horror. "You wouldn't?"

"Jesus fuck no." You mime gagging. "You know he probably has some weird murder kink. Like, he'd probably want to chase you through a haunted house with a knife while dramatic music plays."

"Haunt play?" Her eyes go wide  before she breaks into giggles. "That's... weirdly specific. But don't knock it till you try it, right?"

"Yun." You roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck. "He'd probably set up a whole haunted house just to get his rocks off."

"Okay but..." Yunjin props herself up on her elbows. "Haunted house but make it sexy? That's kind of genius."

"You're actually insane." You shove her shoulder, both of you dissolving into laughter. "I swear to god, if I ever hear spooky music from his tent—"

"You'll what, call the ghost police?"

Her laughter shakes your whole body, bright and infectious, and the small space of the tent makes this ridiculous conversation feel somehow safer, more intimate.

Just two girls discussing their terrible taste in men while hiding from a storm.

Even if one of those men happens to be Seoul's most notorious psychopath.

Yunjin flops back down, using your stomach as a pillow again. The drama's still playing on her phone, but you're too busy thinking about V's games to focus on whatever chaebol drama is unfolding now.

"For now," she sighs dreamily, "I'll stick to living through these ridiculous romances. Much safer than the real thing, right?"

You hum in agreement, watching raindrops race down the tent's surface.

"Sounds smart. But if you do decide to test out V's haunted house kink..." You poke her side. "I want every single detail. For science."

"Deal." Her giggle vibrates against your stomach. "But only if you keep saving me from his 'passionate teaching moments'. My knife skills are fine, thanks."

"Always."

The word comes out softer than intended, but you mean it. In Kkangpae, real friendship is rare as fuck. People either want to kill you, fuck you, or use you—sometimes all three.

But Yunjin? She's different.

And all the while; the rain keeps drumming steadily against the canvas, turning the world outside into a blur of gray and green.

In here, none of that exists.

Not V's thorny games, not Jeon's hurricane, not the Council's secret meetings.

Just you and your best friend, safe and warm while the storm rages on.

For now, anyway. Tomorrow's another story.

goal: 400 notes

next | index

🔪 taglist 🔪

@cannotalwaysbenight @livingformintyoongi @itstoastsworld @redcherrykook @somehowukook @stutixmaru @chloepiccoliniii @kimnamjoonmiddletoe @rpwprpwprpwprw @jimineepaboya @annyeongbitch7 @mar-lo-pap @whothefuckisthishoe @mikrokookiex @vialattea00 @kuusstuff @minniejim @curse-of-art @cristy-101 @mellyyyyyyx @mimi1097

© jungkoode 2025

no reposts, translations, or adaptations

[daenysx]

hi lovely, this is my first time requesting so please feel free to ignore x

could i please request a poly!marauders x pregnant!reader that they’re all obsessed with - i have a major baby fever and i just read your remus x pregnant!reader and i need!!

again please feel free to ignore, i’m having so much fun at the sleepover <3

hi, angel, thank you so much!! i'm not sure if i did well, and this is a really small piece but i hope you enjoy <33333

poly!marauders x pregnant fem!reader

"you know, i knew babies are tiny, but this is like way too much tiny." sirius says as he grabs a pair of baby shoes from the shelf. "i mean how small should you be to get your feet fit into this?"

you laugh at your boyfriend. he still cannot picture baby sizes in his mind. "just imagine how tiny the rest of her will be if this is the size of her feet."

"okay, overuse of the word 'tiny' for you two." remus intervenes. "she'll grow up faster than you can imagine at the beginning so maybe we could get something bigger."

"i find this whole conversation pointless, why don't we just buy everything we find cute?"

you turn your head to james. he looks at a pink baby dress like it's the coolest thing he's ever seen. he's just too big and broad in a store like this, all tiny baby clothes and your tall boyfriend with strong arms to carry everything. you put your hand on your belly, admiring him from afar.

"someone seems to like seeing jamie holding up a nice baby dress, huh, gorgeous?"

"can you blame me?" you whisper to sirius. "he looks extra hot in here."

"yeah, he also looks kinda like a statue amongst us poor humans."

james comes next to you in two steps. "i'm serious, angel. we should get everything we think is cute, isn't this how you shop for a baby?"

"we have a list to complete." remus says, softer than he intends to. baby stores bring out the best of him apparently. "are you okay, dove? we can go home the moment you feel a little tired."

"or james can carry you." sirius says. "just saying."

"i'm okay." you tell them. "let's get the stuff on the list."

it doesn't take long, remus asks for help from a nice girl who works here and after half an hour you're done with the list. james also puts some unnecessary but cute as hell dresses on the shopping bag. no one stops him.

"oh, look at that!" you show them a stuffed panda. it has huge eyes and the softest fabric. "we should get this."

remus takes the stuffie from the shelf. the baby's first stuffed toy. it's just the right one.

"we're definitely getting this." he says. "maybe we can even name it before she's born. another member of the family."

"moons, it's already hard to pick a name for our babygirl and you want us to decide on a name for her stuffie, too? this is too much."

"yeah, well." remus shrugs. names are important. "we still have time before she joins us."

dreamer girl sleepover ♡

[kxsagi]

hi! This is my first time requesting so sorry if I'm a little awkward lmao. Anyways can I request one for Reo where considering he always gets what he wants, and thinks girls like him because of his looks/money (based off my interpretation of his character + ep nagi) when the time comes he actually did like a girl (reader) he really struggles because reader showed no interest lol. Anyways, thank you!

“𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭”

a/n: oooh i’ve never written anything for our gay rich boy before. and you’re all good dw!

ngl reo reminds me of the song “whatever she want” by bryson tiller (fire song btw) and “tapout” by rich gang

(don't know art credits sorry) he's so fine

reo mikage was used to winning. he was used to getting his way. it came with the territory – the money, the status, the looks. his life had always been an easy game of give and take. he gave a glance, a smile, a lazy smirk, and in return, he took hearts. casually. effortlessly. without even trying. 

girls liked him. obviously. they liked the penthouse views, the sleek cars, the designer watch he wore like it meant nothing. they liked the expensive dinner dates that didn’t even make a dent in his card. they liked the way he played soccer with unbothered precision, elegant and composed, the perfect balance of charm and skill. they liked everything about him. 

so, when he met you, he didn’t expect you to be any different. 

except you were. 

you barely looked at him. barely even acknowledged him beyond the most basic courtesy. a glance. a polite smile. a nod when necessary. nothing more. you didn’t fawn, didn’t blush, didn’t giggle. you didn’t trail after him or hang on his words. didn’t care when he slung a towel over his shoulder and his shirt clung to his skin post-practice. didn’t so much as glance at the stupid, limited-edition watch on his wrist that was probably worth your rent. 

and gosh, it drove him insane. 

at first, it was just an irritation. a minor dent to his ego. maybe you were just playing hard to get. maybe you were the kind who wanted to be chased. fine. he could play along. he was good at games. he could wait for you to crack. 

but you never did. 

weeks passed. then months. you were the same. cordial. friendly enough, but so completely unmoved by him, it made his eye twitch. you were kind, sure. sweet, even. just… not specifically to him. you treated him like he was just another guy. not reo mikage – the heir, the rising soccer star, the guy with a face and a bank account anyone would die for. 

and it left him a little unhinged. 

suddenly, he was the one looking for you at practice. lingering by the vending machine because he knew you always grabbed a drink there. making excuses to walk past the staff office, just in case you were there. he started trying, actually trying, to get your attention. 

he started lingering in conversations longer, waiting for you to notice his voice. he made half-hearted jokes to hear your laugh. let out exasperated sighs louder than necessary when he was tired, hoping you’d ask if he was okay. 

nothing. 

when he bought new shoes, he casually asked, "you like them?" 

you blinked. glanced at them briefly. "yeah, they’re cool." 

cool. cool. 

his shoes were custom-made and flown in from italy and all you could say was cool??? 

reo was losing his mind. 

the final straw came at a post-match event. he had just scored twice, and everyone was celebrating. people congratulated him, patted his back, showered him with praise. and then he saw you, quietly sitting on the terrace balcony, nursing a drink. he didn’t think twice before slipping away from the crowd and joining you. 

"you’re not celebrating?" he asked, feigning nonchalance. 

you glanced over, then back at the view. "i am. just not a fan of big crowds." 

he took that as an opening and slid into the seat next to you. surely, you’d see him differently tonight. he was riding the high of victory, practically glowing from it. girls were practically staring at him, but here he was, sitting next to you. 

"you saw the match, right?" he asked, eyes glinting, lips quirking into that signature smirk that usually made people weak in the knees. 

you hummed. "yeah, you were good." 

good. good. 

he was phenomenal. he scored the winning goal and you had the audacity to say good??? 

he didn’t even realize he was pouting slightly until you gave him a funny look. 

"what?" you asked, clearly confused by his expression. 

"nothing," he muttered, sulking into his seat. 

there was a beat of silence before you spoke again, your voice almost hesitant. 

"hey… do you think you could introduce me to nagi?" 

reo physically malfunctioned. he stared at you, mouth slightly open, unable to process what you just said. "what?" 

you smiled, completely oblivious to the dagger you’d just driven through his chest. "nagi. he seems cool. i feel like we’d get along." 

nagi. nagi. his lazy, bored, white-haired best friend. you wanted to meet nagi. 

for the first time in his life, reo mikage was faced with the impossible: rejection. not even outright rejection, just a complete, indifferent dismissal. you weren’t playing hard to get. you just… didn’t care. you weren’t interested. you didn’t look at him and see wealth or status or charm. you saw some guy. just reo. 

and as he sat there, stewing in disbelief, he realized two things. 

one: this was new territory. he’d never actually had to try before. 

two: he liked you more for it. 

because you weren’t shallow. you weren’t there for his money, his name, his easy charm. you didn’t fall for the things that made him likable to everyone else. and maybe it pissed him off at first, but it also made him want you more. 

so, as you kept rambling about how nagi seemed fun, completely unaware of the internal war raging inside him, reo downed the rest of his drink. 

fine. you wanted nothing to do with his wealth or charm? 

good. 

he’d just have to win you over the hard way. 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

a/n: i don’t chase, i attract 

[quixotical-lymbo]

Hi ! Just discovered you through your D-16 x reader fic and your writing is MWAH MWAH yummy 😋 ahhhh thank youuu, I've been craving for tf one fics, I want to request a short fic with D-16, Orion Pax and Gn! Reader who's a racer from that various reader prompts you posted awhile ago? Anything else is up to you! Go wild

Thank youuuu 🫶💐

Pairing: D-16, Orion Pax x gn!racer!Reader Rating: SFW Summary: Showcasing your appreciation for your fans leads to an unlikely encounter.  Warnings/Tags: Pre-canon, cybertronian!reader with a cog, size difference, awkward flirting??, forehelm kisses, and fluff.  A/N: Aww ty for the love! Hope you enjoy :) Word Count: 800+ words 

"What are we doing back here?" Came a rushed whisper from one bot. 

"What does it look like, genius? We're here to meet, ___."

"What?! You said you wanted to show me something, not break into a racer's personal quarters!"

"Psh, I bet they meet all sorts of fans back here all the time, besides, I'm sure they won't mind the bot they blew a kiss at to come and meet them backstage." 

"...you mean me?" 

"You?" 

"They blew the kiss at me."

"My friend, you need to get your optics checked, I'm pretty sure that kiss was meant for-" 

Orion didn't get to finish his sentence when the door to your quarters opened and your shiny figure stepped out and into the hallway. You glanced down at your newly filed digits before glancing up to spot two small, cogless bots standing in front of you. 

"...." 

"..."

"Why, hello there…where did you two come from?" Your voice was as warm as the sweetest energon and caused the tense mechs to ease up. You crouched before the two and placed your servos on your knee pads. One mech was blue and red, a lot more colorful in appearance and personality compared to his standoffish, silver colored mech companion. They were obviously miners from what you could tell from their chipped paint and dusty frames. 

The blue and red mech cleared his throat and prepared to speak until he was nudged back by his friend.

"We were lost! Yeah, we didn't mean to come…all the way here," The silver mech gave his friend a side-optic glare. 

"Could you help us find our way out?" The red mech briefly met his companion's shocked expression with a teasing smirk before switching his bright gaze onto you. "The name's Orion Pax, this mech over here is-"

 

"-D-16, nice to meet you…I'm…your biggest fan! I've been to almost all of your races and-" D-16 stammered out his introduction and seemed to be digging a further hole for himself as he rambled on. His friend watched with a familiar fondness before he snapped his gaze to the racer when their bell-like laugh rang out. 

"Aren't you two the cutest fans I've met," You cooed before pushing yourself up to stand. "I'll show you the way out, follow me." 

Orion pumped a servo when you turned away and winked at D-16 as he went to walk by your side. D-16 only rolled his optics and quickly went to catch up. 

“So, ____, how do you win like all the time?” Orion started the conversation. 

“Practice makes perfect,” You replied with a smile. 

“And what do you do when you lose?” Came the interesting inquiry from the silver mech. Realizing how his question might imply something bad, “I mean, how do you deal with the pressure of needing to be the best? I couldn't imagine having all those optics on me at all times.” 

You giggled and mulled over his question for a few nanokliks. “Well, I suppose I don't beat myself up about losing a race, after all the races would be boring if my rivals weren't on my level.” 

“Right! Makes sense. I, uh, thank you." D-16 felt his face plate warm as your bright optics made contact with his. 

"You're welcome, thank you two for seeing me,” You stopped when the exit came into view. “I haven't had this much fun in a while, I hope to see you too at the finish line again.” 

“We'll be there, ” Orion nodded as he nudged D-16 toward the exit. 

D-16 bit his bottom derma before turning back around and walking over to you. 

“Can…can I get a signature?” 

You blinked before your dermas curved in happiness at the timid request made by the mech. You see, instead of signing merch the regular way, you usually left your ‘mark’ on any special fan who caught your attention. It was a very rare occurrence which is why those bots claimed they'd never wash the mark off. 

 You crouched down and tilted the mech's helm back by curling a digit under his chin. D-16's breath was caught in his intake as your dermas pressed against his helm. He stood there frozen even when Orion came to his side and asked for a mark as well.

You obliged and kissed his helm as well. 

Orion leaned into it as you pulled away, you stifled a laugh as you booped his nose to snap the red and blue mech out of his daze. 

“Well…I'll see you two at the next race,” You mused before turning to leave. 

Orion and D-16 were standing there, pedes frozen to the ground as they processed the previous events. 

“Guess that blown kiss was meant for both of us.” 

D-16 only rolled his optics before smacking Orion's arm.

😼 - I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. like my writing? consider buying me a kofi :)

banner(s) by @dollywons !!

[endless-ineffabilities]

chemical override (6)

Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader

a/n: I hope you all have found ways to cope after the breakup, but here all your questions will be answered on what went down pre-August! Special shoutout to @just-fics-station @thepurplecrown @clarkysblog @hotdismylife and @sprinklesprinkle888 for sharing your ideas and indulging me with the lovely, crazy discourse!

To everyone, I am so chuffed at how this has become OUR story - our lil self-indulgent Ewan Nation production. You all are aces <3

series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist

In the aftermath of the breakup, the reader and Ewan throw themselves into their work, trying (and failing) to avoid any trace of the other. Will they remain this way - former lovers doomed to drift in each other's orbit?

Some time before August

New York City

The lush office was laden with expensive wooden antiques, one side with built-in shelves displaying film awards and plaques of varying degrees of prestige. A full glass minibar occupied the other side.

The casting director introduced himself as Bruce, insisting that Ewan call him by his first name and not any of that "sir or similar stick-up-the-ass names". Ewan can see him as a mentor or maybe even a friend, Bruce insisted.

After all, they were going to help each other out a lot.

The discussion was straightforward enough, never mind the saccharine tone Bruce seemed to be so good at. Aimed at making Ewan feel welcome, coddling him, remarking with awe at his projects thus far. But there was a fakeness to it. Ewan steeled himself, trying to adapt to the style of conversation. After all, if he is in this for the long haul, then he would have to get used to these situations.

Bruce appraised him, leaning back on his leather swivel chair. "How are you with the fantasy genre? All that YA, lovesick stuff the kids eat up so eagerly nowadays? Personally, I haven't got the taste for it, but it always makes bank, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, well, I'm a fan of all movies. I definitely see why the fantasy genre has made such an impact on audiences, especially with the romance element, you know, I get the appeal."

"Well, son, we've got a solid franchise in our hands here. Some adaptation of an elf-human love story, mind you, it sound ridiculous, but you know how it is. And the team seems to be in agreement - you fit the bill for the male lead. The male elf lead - " he almost guffawed at the thought, then collected himself " - hope you don't mind my saying that you've got elvish features yourself. Long nose, long jaw, lanky. The teens are going to eat you up."

"Ah," Ewan smiled curtly, nodding. There was a backhanded compliment if he ever heard one. "Well, sir, I've read the script - at least, the bit that was sent to me - and it looks quite promising. I'd be honoured to - "

"Of course, of course!" Bruce exclaimed in pleasure, cutting Ewan off mid-sentence. "And there's the case of your leading lady, and this all boils down to chemistry as you know. Our top contender is that Jenna Ortega girl from the Netflix show, you know her?"

Ewan nodded, well aware. He's seen her work, and thinks that she is a top actress of her generation, but leave it to Bruce to reduce her to being that girl from the Netflix show.

"Yes, she's a very talented actress," Ewan replied.

Bruce hums in agreement, head bobbing as a smirk materialises on his face. "Think she's a looker?" he said openly, without shame.

Ewan laughed nervously, his words caught in his throat.

Bruce, characteriscally oblivious to the discomfort of others, carried on. "I only ask because we're going to need you two to be pretty chummy with each other when you jump on this project. It's kind of a condition of the whole thing, but really nothing to concern yourself with." He waved a hand in the air, his proposition barely carrying any weight in his mind. But Ewan was catching on, and he started to develop a dislike about the whole deal.

"What do you mean?" Ewan asked.

"It's pretty common in this business, son. There's a reason why young, new actors like yourself opt to remain unattached so to speak, so they're always open to a PR arrangement or, you know, just so their - your - hoards of fans would think they got a chance with you," Bruce explains lazily. "In this case, since you and Ortega are, as I said, unattached, getting you two together would fuckin' do wonders for our movie."

Our movie, he said, convinced that Ewan was all in, because why would any young actor refuse such a golden opportunity? Franchises like this can set up an entire mainstream Hollywood career.

Ewan thought that he wasn't unattached. Granted, his date with you was yet to happen, but he already felt bound to you. He wished you were the one tapped to be his love interest. Very little acting would be needed there. Maybe he might even be inclined to go along with the idea of selling the relationship, using it for publicity for the film, but even that made him uneasy.

The industry offered a lot of privileges, but more often than not, they come at a cost.

"Sir, I - "

"Bruce."

"Right, sorry. Bruce, I have to tell you that I'm not exactly unattached."

"Got a partner?"

Ewan actually found himself smiling at the thought of you being called his partner. His first easy smile since entering this office. "Yes, she's an actress herself," he agreed.

"I heard of her?" Bruce asked with obvious disinterest. You were but a wedge in his flawless plan.

"She's kind of a new talent like me, but she's brilliant. She plays Alyna Rivers in our show."

"Ah her," Bruce loosened up a little. "I get it, she's a piece."

Ewan cleared his throat loudly, his jaw clenching on instinct. "So, like I said, I'm with her. I'm sorry but this whole PR arrangement with Jenna wouldn't work."

"Look, kid, I want my movie to do well, alright? I got a lot invested here. This PR thing has proven to be highly bankable time and time again. If you don't trust me, I can ask the team to show you the data on all that. It's a lot of boring numbers, but shit, the numbers are never wrong."

"I don't need to see - "

"If you wanna be with your girl, you can, but you just gotta learn to hide it. Sweep it under the rug, you know. Don't canoodle in public, you crazy kids," Bruce offered, like that made things any better.

"You want me to hide my relationship?"

"Hey, now, come on. Word gets around. Isn't your girl also doing this exact same thing with Jacob Elordi?"

"Not anymore, I don't think," Ewan clarifies, "and that was... that was hardly anything. They weren't obligated to do it. It just worked by chance because they were both single for a time."

"Po-ta-to, po-tah-to." Bruce clicked his tongue before making his next point. "So you see how it works, your thing with Ortega won't be any different."

"Do I have a choice?" There it is, the defining factor.

Bruce smiled slowly. The calculating and menacing air about him intensified, and it was obvious he was not there to be Ewan's friend.

"It would be stupid to refuse something like this, kid."

Ewan's blue eyes flashed in return. None of this was ideal, but his nan raised him well, and he knew better than to falter on his values in times of trial.

"Sir, what's stupid is if you ask me to hide my real relationship for the sake of mere publicity for a film."

"Stupid you say?" Bruce sneered, having already discarded Ewan in his mind, his fragile ego bruised. "What a shame."

There wasn't much to say after that. Bruce was clearly not disinclined to reveal the ice that settled in his veins, and it dawned on Ewan that it had always been the case. There was no true hospitality here.

For bigwig casting director-slash-execs like Bruce, this was a transaction. And Ewan was not about to put what he has, or what he could have, with you on the line.

There has to be another way to advance his career. If not bigger productions, then at least those with less domineering producers.

"That is a shame," Ewan said, getting up from his seat. "I won't waste any more of your time, sir. Thank you for considering me."

Bruce's eyes darkened even further. "You're actually refusing me? For some girl?"

Another genuine smile formed on Ewan's face at the thought of you. Some girl.

But you're not just some girl. He nodded without a trace of doubt in his mind, before reaching out to shake Bruce's hand. "If you don't mind, sir... I have to go and see my darling."

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Near the end of August

Los Angeles

The modern space sported a minimalist yet rustic feel, the interiors a blend of sterile white and sleek wooden surfaces. Very LA, as they say. The windowed walls offered plenty of light, as well as precious views of the valley below.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Donna," you greeted Ewan's publicist as she ushered you in her LA office.

"No problem at all, sweetheart," she said. "Please, have a seat. Would you like some coffee or tea? Ewan always has his coffee with way, way too much sugar. Mind you, if that kid wasn't active and boxing all the time, I'd be worried for his health."

You smiled fondly at her genuine concern. "Don't even mention the cigarettes."

"Oh, yeah," she scoffed, settling down on the chair across from you. She could have sat down at her desk, making the meeting more official, but Donna's always had a friendly and open way about her. "So, my sweet, how's your new movie coming up?"

You respond eagerly. The dialogue flowed freely, talking about your film and the lukewarm reception of season 2 of House of The Dragon. And finally, Ewan.

"I really thought he would get the Greta Gerwig film," you said. "Everyone said he was perfect for it. I think Greta herself had nothing but praises for him when they met on Zoom."

She sighed thoughtfully, "I thought so too. And, theoretically, he did have that one almost booked up. But there was an issue with one of the producers, which - I don't even want to get into that."

You shook your head, catching on whom she hinted at. "Donna, I heard... well, it didn't go too well in New York, didn't it? Ewan told me about it but... if you can tell me more, I just want to understand why - "

"Sweetheart," she offered a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes, "you should talk about this with Ewan."

"I tried. But he wouldn't budge. Mallory told me... that it might have been because of me that he didn't get the role? And also why he's struggling to get roles now? Donna, I... I can't have that."

It took some time for her to formulate a response. She didn't want to step in something that's none of her business. Your relationship with Ewan is yours. But when his career is on the line, she supposed that she needed to have some say in that.

"He met with this top producer in New York. This real old money Hollywood guy. For decades, he's built careers for the greats, you know - Pitt, DiCaprio, Theron, and whatnot. There was a franchise project practically offered to him on a plate, but Ewan refused, because a non-negotiable was that he would have to hide you in favour of a PR arrangement with his leading lady."

You swallowed, the weight of the truth making itself clear. "Couldn't he have just done the movie without that?"

"You would think," she grimaced, "but some producers... when they want something, they have to get it. And well, Bruce wasn't lying, that would have sold the movie well."

"I thought we were past this," you expressed sadly. "I understand how PR relationships work. Just recently, I found myself kind of in the middle of one. But there was no pressure, it wasn't forced on us, and it was meant to be all in good fun."

"I know, sweetheart," she insisted, reaching out to squeeze your hand. "Bruce is an outlier now. Most of the time you do get lucky, with an all-around supportive production team, just like with your project with Elordi."

You hummed in agreement on that positive note, but your mind kept drifting back to Ewan.

Donna continued, wrapping up her story, "but Bruce is still here, and he still has a lot of power. But you know, it'll be fine. Ewan's got such a huge fanbase and so much talent that it'll only be a matter of time before something else knocks on his door."

You wanted to share her sense of optimism, but something ate at you. What else will Ewan have to sacrifice just to be with you? This was his dream, his one dream, and you were standing in the way. How much longer before he is offered another project but he refuses to take it for your sake? Your thoughts blurred together, bordering on irrational, but you couldn't help it.

All you could picture was the unabashed sincerity on his face, that sense of wonder, when he told you that acting had always been his dream.

Being tied down to you, this early in his career, would surely only hurt him. And you don't think you're worth it.

"Ewan loves you, sweetheart. Anyone with eyes can see that," Donna said after a while, heeding the storm brewing in your expression.

He loves you. It was true.

Less than a month in, and you've already found yourself with a love that you've never felt before. And perhaps never will again.

And that was the problem.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Late September

The podcast moderators are overly welcoming, if not a little loud for Ewan's taste.

The BBC podcast is called Loose Ends, and it's one of the first things Ewan agreed to take on upon returning to England.

He had wanted to head straight home to Derby, to bury himself in his heartache and bitterness, but the team for the show tapped him for a couple more promotional stints, riding on the high of the season finale. And who better than Ewan to offer to the media, the undeniable fan favourite.

Clad in an old gray shirt and blue jeans, people would think he just rolled right out of bed. He didn't really have the motivation to put in more effort. The only striking thing about him is his newly bleached head of hair, supervised by his stylist for a photoshoot a few days ago.

It was ironic, the timing of such a change. Ewan knew that if word got out that you dumped him, he would never hear the end of the joke of that being the reason for his hairstyle change, typical of all heartbroken sods.

Everyone bursts into laughter when he tells them about his mum's reaction to his nude scene. It feels like going through the motions, and he must have been so out of it, so forlorn, that his team prepared an outline for him prior to the interview. The questions and answers all pre-agreed.

Make them laugh. React as required. Remember to speak when spoken to. The mantra goes on in his head.

And don't think about her.

An impossible task, worsened when a moderator goes off script and asks, "Now it wasn't me who saw this, as I'm not on social media myself, but one of our interns did mention that you ventured into Instagram recently? Is that true?"

Oh fuck.

"Mmm, yeah, I guess," Ewan laughs nervously, his hand massaging the back of his neck in a self-soothing motion.

"And your first post went viral? What can you tell us about that? Our listeners would love to know."

"Uhhhm - " He remembers that the broadcast is live, and he can't exactly ask them to edit this part out, so he quickly settles for something indirect. Inconclusive. Safe. " - did it go viral? I'm not too sure how that thing works. I haven't used any kind of social media before."

"Apparently it did! And it had to do with the subject featured in that photo, Ewan. Your costar - "

"Mmm," Ewan stops him there, "didn't you say that you don't use Instagram?"

"No, I think I'm too old!" The moderator laughs.

"It's insane, that whole thing," Ewan shakes his head. "I don't know how to handle it. I'm logged off most of the time."

"Oh, you log off?"

"Yeah, yeah, helps me keep my focus, you know. Keep calm and all that."

"It can get frivolous, can't it?"

Ewan hums in agreement, and thankfully, the moderator moves on to his last question. One that does not breach the subject of you.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Another day means yet another media stint for Ewan, this time for Now TV.

Still in London, his stylist Davey and the rest of the team prepare him for a day of brief interview clips, to be posted on the social media pages of the company.

Davey had half-joked about Ewan needing even more concealer than usual, the shadows under his eyes having significantly deepened after the breakup.

Some of his team have gotten wind of what happened. They would curiously ask about you, how often Ewan keeps in touch with you while you're on set...

You must be on FaceTime everyday!

Is it hard to be doing long-distance so soon?

Do you miss her? Is that why you're not getting any rest?

...but Ewan would only laugh uncomfortably, dismiss it by bringing up another topic or shifting the attention to someone else, or excuse himself to go for a smoke.

He'd been drowning himself in cigarettes and caffeine during the day, pint after pint in the nighttime. Aimless.

He is coping. He knows how it must look, but he deserves this. He deserves to drift for a while. It's the only thing he can do to keep himself from jumping on the next flight to Atlanta and begging for your hand back.

You said you love him. You did. He hangs on to it like a beacon in a storm. No matter how pointless it may seem, with you choosing someone else over him.

Work is becoming something of an anchor, something that keeps him from spiralling. He's an actor, and he has always wanted to be an actor. People now have expectations of him, and he will answer the call.

The interview session begins with generic questioning, stuff he's answered before on several occasions.

How special is the bond between dragon and rider?

What is a funny moment from set that you can share?

How similar are Aemond and Daemon?

All safe. He's proud of himself for not breaking mental clarity thus far. You're in the back of his mind, dormant as a memory, and not something looming darkly over him. For a while, at least.

But then he is asked, If you could invite any 5 people to a Ewan Mitchell dinner party, who would you pick?

"Matthew McConaughey - "

You.

" - Bruce Lee. I think they could strike up an interesting conversation - "

Your name echoes in his mind, and he can't control it.

" - Andrea Riseborough. She's just a chameleon, like in any role she undertakes -

You have great taste. Even if you would make him eat spicy food again, he'll take it. He'll endure anything for you.

He's stumped for a second, lump in his throat, and his effort in avoiding you leads him to mention someone who will always be a comfort to him.

" - Maybe my nan, because I miss her -

Your name. He has to say your name. Who else? Think of someone else.. but who else? Who would be better?

" - and then, another person. Let's make it from the show... it would be Alyna Rivers."

"Oh really?" The interviewer asks. She's not really meant to respond in this instance, but she knows that the fans would go crazy about any mention of you or your character, so why not jump on this opportunity? "Can you tell us why you chose her?"

"Uhhm, well, she's just an amazing character, you know, fiercely loyal, beautiful, tenacious," Ewan replies easily, "so yeah, she would make for good company."

It is obvious that he is describing you just as much as he does Alyna Rivers, and no doubt, the fans will catch on to this detail.

Later, he's asked about his favourite part about season two, and he duly answers, "Seeing more of Aemond and Vhagar's bond and how that perhaps have gotten stronger. Aemond has definitely reined her in, after the accident at Storm's End."

Then, "There are some new additions to the show. Do you have a particular favourite?"

Another obvious piece of bait. And he takes it, he doesn't care anymore. What's the use of denying the truth?

"A favourite new character? Oh, well, uhmm... I really do like Alyna, and I think I've said before that Aemond and her are quite similar in a sense that they both know what they want and how to achieve it. It's just a shame they're on opposing sides, because if those two get together... " he trails off, leaving it up to the audiences to fill in the rest of the thought.

And they eagerly do. The clips where Ewan mentions Alyna get the most traction, flooded with comments that more or less talk of the same thing -

We know why you chose Alyna, Ewan. We know your ways.

He could have said Alys. Or Gwayne. Or even the ghost of Daeron ffs. But nooooo.... it's Alyna Alyna Alyna 😮‍💨

I wonder if she's there behind the scenes

yeah shes definitely lurking in the background!

Aemond and Alyna better have at least a scene together in season 3!!!!!

Someone kidnap Ryan Condal and make him write this

Ewan doesn't see any of it. Not that he's missing out, because he soon feels the need to call his younger cousin to ask her how to turn off his notifications on Instagram.

Day in and day out, his one single post gets dozens of new comments and likes, a brutal reminder of what he's lost. He could just delete it, and get rid of his profile entirely, but he hates to imagine the discourse that would follow.

All the invasive allegations and rumours. So he leaves it be. It makes no difference to him now. Let people believe what they want.

To his chagrin, he finds himself scrolling on his home page once in a while. The addictive element to it was true, and for him, it's exacerbated because the things he sees are often related to you.

Photos of you from fanpages and news accounts. Ones where your friends have tagged you. It's a toxic habit, looking through it all, but he can't help himself.

Then one day, as he's slouched on the seat in his London apartment, phone propped on his knees, he sees a cutout photo of his face on the corner of the screen. He clicks on it, and it's an image of him interposed among different posts. Posts which he apparently liked.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he cusses at himself, reading the caption.

Boyfriend lurking? - Ewan Mitchell may play a formidable TV villain, but in real life, he's just like us. Click on the link in bio to see his series of liked posts!

Dread takes root in him, followed by self-loathing. Why couldn't he just keep off this bloody thing? He takes to the comments to see what he has allegedly liked on accident and it's predictably photos of you - you at a premiere, stills of you as Alyna, and even, heavens fucking forbid, a behind the scenes shot of you getting pretty close with Jacob Elordi on the set of your film.

He vividly remembers seeing that last one, because he went on a bender after coming across it.

Cursing himself and his wayward, sticky fingers, he exits the app and deletes it from his phone.

Whatever goes on there, whatever people might leave on his profile, he washes his hands of it.

He calls up several of his mates, asking them if they want to come over for a few drinks.

"Again, Ewan?" one of them exclaims. "C'mon, you gotta take a breather, mate."

"I don't need a breather." I need her.

"Ewan - "

His composure breaks, all his damned frustrations rising to the surface, and he confesses, "I wonder if she thinks about me."

"Hang in there, mate. We're coming over."

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

October

The director finally yells a satisfied, "Cut!"

It's only taken a good twenty-something takes for you and Jacob to nail a challenging scene. You had been on a roll since the beginning of the shoot, the last few weeks seemingly a breeze on paper, though it's a constant struggle to keep it together.

You've had to quell your internal dialogue so it does not stray to him. His smile. The feel of his skin against yours. His way of subtly picking up on details, and doing sweet things that surprise you as a result.

But you received word just before the scene that a few of your friends have come to visit, waiting back at your trailer - Phia, Fabien and his girlfriend, Bella.

And so, as if on instinct, Ewan is all you can focus on, every repressed memory of him rushing in like a tidal wave.

Do they know? What could you possibly say to justify what you did? You can only hope he took on that project, to give you a bitter sense of vindication.

It's the only thing that keeps it all the bay, the only thing that keeps you from jumping on the next flight to England and grovelling at his door.

Phia has her arms wrapped around you the moment you open the door to your trailer, loudly squealing, "I missed you!"

You sink into the hug, comforted by her presence.

As well as the fact that she represents some connection to Ewan.

Phia, Helaena. Helaena, Aemond. Aemond, Ewan.

It's a sick game to play, but it's what you have.

"Hey, yous," you hug Fabien and Bella in turn. Not long after, you're all lounging on director's chairs right outside your trailer, enjoying a bit of sun.

"How's our big Hollywood star?" Phia quips, her lips curling in her trademark pleasant upturn.

"Hardly a star," you shake your head fondly. "More of an indie darling."

"Of course, of course," she relents, before going on a monologue about how she's been keeping tabs on your project, how she just adores the costume designer whom she spoke to at length while you were working, and how the rest of the cast is rooting for you.

The rest of the cast.

"Ah, are they?" you ask, making a conscious effort to not simply blurt out his name. What does he think? Has he mentioned you at all?

Do they know?

Do they secretly hate you for what you did?

"Mhmm, right Fabs?" she says.

"Oh, definitely." Fabien agrees right away.

"How's your film? Are you done shooting in Philly?" you ask him.

"Just about done, but I think we're doing some final reshoots next week. I'm just glad my girl's here to visit," he slings an arm around Bella, who smiles and leans closer to him.

You smile at the sight, but it visibly falters. Ewan could be visiting you on set right now, just like Bella with Fabien, if you hadn't fucked it all up.

They notice.

"Love," Phia sighs, her tone softening. "I just want you know - we want you know - we're here for you, okay? No matter what you went through with... " A pause. Like saying his name would open up the floodgates.

Your gaze falls to your lap in shame. You pick on invisible lint on your trousers. Bite your lip. Breathe deeply.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"So you guys know, huh?"

"Well, more or less," Phia says. "I just spoke with... Ewan... recently. He's back in Derby for the time being, and he's - "

"He's a bit rough," Fabien says firmly. He's not taking sides here, but he's heard from Ewan, and he feels the need to have his mate's back. "Look, I don't want to pry, but what happened? It seemed like you guys were doing so well together!"

"You don't have to tell us," Phia adds, shooting Fabien a look. "But if you want to, we're here to listen. We love you both and we just want to help, love."

You feel your eyes welling up. Leave it to Phia to be oh so sweet. You can't lie to them, you don't want to. Even if you did, they would see right through it.

Your friends know you too well.

"I... I miss him."

Phia squeezes your hand, and the whole story is about to spill out of you when you hear your name being called.

It's your assistant Clara, letting you know you're needed back on set.

You swallow back tears, standing on your feet, trying to maintain enough composure so you can grant yourself access back to your character.

"Go do your thing, superstar," Phia smiles comfortingly. "We'll be here when you're ready."

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

November

"I'd like to propose a toast," Tom declares out loud in the empty pub, "to Ewan, Hollywood's new elf... Lord? Prince? Ah sod it, cheers!"

Round the table, Ewan, Fabien, Luke and Elliott all raise their pints with a collective, "Hear, hear!"

The pub has been cleared out for the lads, thanks to a favour called in by the twins, with the owner being their gym buddy and good friend.

"Thank you," Ewan replies, smirking. "I am your new elf prince, address me as such."

"Your ears have never been pointier, mate," Luke quips.

After a month of moping back home in Derby, or recovering as Ewan prefers to put it, he got a call from his manager telling him that the offer from Bruce still stands.

Apparently, the production team for the movie still had him tapped as the prime choice for the lead. After observing his audience metrics and overall viability, they decided that the movie would fare the best with him in it.

They had planted some half-baked announcements in the media, stating that it was Ewan against Joseph Quinn and Manny Jacinto for the role, and the fan reaction veered in Ewan's favour by a landslide.

Even though Bruce had an unsavoury word or two to say about him, he was willing to work past it, so long as Ewan would be more amenable to his demands.

After careful deliberation, Ewan chose to throw caution to the wind, and accept the role. So what if he has to pretend to have a real-life romance with Jenna? This is what you wanted.

"I'm glad you finally came out to see us, mate," Fabien says. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, fuck's sake. Remind us never to break your heart! That was tough to witness, you hunkerin' down out there all mopey and whatnot," Elliott laughs.

"Mmm." Ewan takes a swig of his beer to hide the wince he couldn't hold back. His friends, and most of the cast know by now, not in too much detail, of what went down between the two of you.

A typical short-lived romance of two actors. A summer fling. Most of them would look back and only see it as that.

Even though it was so much more. Even though Ewan still recalls how warm and soft and beautiful you felt as you whimpered underneath him, the loss of you as painful as getting hit by a freight train.

The liquor helps. Burying himself in work helps. Denial... well, that certainly helps the most.

When he goes out to the back garden for a smoke break with Fabien, he tricks himself into believing it's mere curiosity that compels him to say, "Phia mentioned that you guys went to Atlanta."

Fabien is rendered off guard, because he knows what's coming. "Yeah, we did. Bella came with us too. She was visiting me on set," he says, measuredly.

"Mmm." A long drag, a flick of ash towards the ground, an unaffected shrug - and eventually, with as impassive of a tone as he can muster, Ewan asks, "So how is she?"

Fabien smiles knowingly. "She's doing great. Her film's looking pretty good." He's privy to the truth, after he and Phia managed to gently coax it out of you over several martinis at a hotel bar in Atlanta. But he doesn't think it up to him to reveal that to Ewan, out of respect for your privacy.

While he might not share your sentiment, he thinks it's not in his place to tell Ewan that you basically lied for his sake.

But that doesn't mean he won't drop a helpful nugget or two.

"You know, I don't exactly know what's going on... but her and Jacob came across as nothing more than friends."

Ewan's hand freezes mid-air, the cigarette inches from his lips. He loathes the sense of hope that immediately bloomed in his chest. He's so bloody easy. One miniscule hint, and his delusions break through the wall of indifference he worked so hard to build.

"She said she has feelings for him," Ewan stresses, trying to convince himself. What was the fucking point of all this... this pain... if you never did?

"Hey, mate, I dunno," Fabien puts his hands up, "just telling you what I saw."

"It doesn't matter." It does. "She ended it." He wants you back, he will always want you back. "It's better this way."

"Is it?"

Ewan doesn't answer. He doesn't know how to, without grossly embellishing the truth.

Fabien watches his friend, sensing his hesitation as he averts his gaze. One thing becomes clear to him - you and Ewan are far from being over.

So he says, "She misses you, you know."

Ewan regards him with a stony look, one that slowly softens to reveal the broken boy inside. For but a moment, before he clears his throat and throws the butt of his cigarette on the ground.

"Let's head back inside."

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

December

You're back in London, as production for your film is paused for the upcoming holiday season.

Work is supposed to be the last thing on your mind, but it just so happens that your manager has you booked for a chemistry read for a yet undisclosed film.

Phia came over to your apartment, insisting that she help you get ready. When you asked how she found out about your audition, she was quick to say that she was up for the role as well but didn't think it was right for her.

"Why not?" you ask, as she hovers over you, patting blush on the apples of your cheeks.

"Oh, you just get a feel for these things."

"Phi, it's just a chemistry read," you say, when she reaches for the mascara. "I don't need to get all dolled up for this."

She gasps, "Oh, but this is showbiz, darling. We always have to put a face on."

"Fine," you relent. "Do your worst."

The makeup she ends up doing on you is minimal, but it enhances your features just the right amount. You rush through your final preparations, folding up the script sample you were given and stuffing it in your purse.

Phia stands out on your balcony, in the middle of a call. The window screen is slightly open, so you hear snippets of the conversation as you walk by.

"Is he ready?" she asks. Who's he? You assume it's the guy you are doing the read with.

You don't know about him, but you are ready, so you stick your head out to say, "I gotta go, Phi."

"Oh!" She startles a little, angling her phone away. "Already?"

"Yeah, the read's at 4, I believe. Just lock the door when you leave, 'kay?"

She hurriedly whispers something to her phone, presumably ending her call. "I'll actually head out with you," she grins. "My work here is done anyway."

"Any plans for the night?"

She shrugs, "Might meet with Tom and Martha."

"Oh, why don't I meet you guys after my thing?"

"Uhhhm," she chews on her lip, thinking. Under her breath, you barely hear her mumble, "... hoping you'd be busy."

"What?" A restrained chuckle escapes you, confused as to why she's being so coy.

"Nothing," she tilts her head. "We can meet if you'd like."

The weird exchange is out of your mind when you arrive at the casting agency. You run the scene through in your head as you walk in the building, up the elevator, down the long hallway.

It's a heartfelt scene, if not a little tense, a dialogue between reunited ex-lovers.

Your manager Polina and publicist Mallory greet you at the doors, swiftly briefing you before directing you in.

"They're waiting, just walk right in, doll," Polina says.

"Okay, wish me luck!" You have your hand on the door handle when Mallory strangely remarks, "Don't hate us, sweetheart!"

"Why would I - "

"Go, go," Polina guides you in, then shuts the door behind you.

The office sports an spacious and open layout, with plenty of natural light streaming through large windows. The primary workstation is partially hidden behind a subtle partition. You see silhouettes of a few people behind it, so you walk down that way.

The figures reveal themselves soon enough - the casting agents you recognise as Patrick and Amie, sitting in front of the actor you're meant to read with.

A range of emotion washes over you, but you don't even have time to reckon with them. The casting agents divert your attention from Ewan, as they approach you with wide smiles in greeting.

"So nice to finally meet you!" Amie croons. "Take a seat. You two already know each other, of course. Between us, there won't really be a question of chemistry here."

"Right?" Patrick adds, looking between you and Ewan. "The fans sure think so, and we have to say we already agree."

"So just give us a minute to set up," Amie says. "Then we'll start."

You smile stiffly, settling down on the opposite end of the couch. You keep your gaze straight, trying to keep your attention on Patrick as he sets up the camera. Your heartbeat races the entire time, and you feel your hands getting clammy.

"They're all in on it," you hear Ewan say, prompting you to finally look at him directly. You take him in hungrily, admiring his outline, ever so handsome with his Targaryen-blonde hair and black leather jacket.

A weak "Mmm?" is all you can muster.

"Our teams, Tom, Phia... they set us up. Tom came over and I overheard him on the phone with Phia."

"Oh," you mumble. He doesn't even spare you a glance, leaning on the armrest on his side of the couch. He looks as if he'd rather be anywhere but here, next to you, and it hurts.

It's what you deserve.

"Is this not a real chemistry read?" you ask meekly.

"I suppose it is," he laughs humourlessly, "but it's not a coincidence that you and I just happen to be the only ones scheduled for today." He turns to you, giving you a critical sideways glance. "Didn't see that coming, did you?"

"I... I can leave if you want - "

"Mmm," his brows furrow, "you do seem to be good at that."

You look away. He is not being fair, but you weren't neither, that wretched night back in September.

And he is making you pay for it now.

But then you hear him speak in a softer tone, "Stay."

Stay. When you look at him once more, his attention is entirely on you, arm outstretched on the couch like he just tried to reach for you but decided against it.

Stay, he asked. So you do.

It's what you should have done, months ago.

"Okay, guys. Whenever you're ready," Amie says. She and Patrick take their seats in front of you, with the camera on a stand between them.

The script crinkles on your lap as you hold it with shaky fingers. "It's been a while," you read out your opening line.

The dialogue plays out twisted and ironic, now that you know who your scene partner is.

"Hardly," Ewan responds in character. "I feel like no time as passed."

"Feels like a lifetime."

He pauses, then sighs, "Do you even miss me?"

"How... how can you even ask me that?"

"How can I - "

"Why didn't you... why didn't you fight for me?" your voice breaks, the lines hitting a bit too close to home.

"You're a fucking hypocrite," he spits with venom. "You weren't exactly giving me anything to fight for."

"I did it for us. I did it all for us." If you didn't feel like crying at the weight of the scene, you would have rolled your eyes at the similarities.

"Like I said - nothing to fight for."

"Nothing? So you're telling me I was nothing to you."

"No," he levels you with an icy look, "you were everything to me. Everything. But you left me behind, and for what? So you can run off with the rebel sect?"

"The mission needed me. You wouldn't understand." You feel a sense of relief when the sci-fi elements roll in, otherwise you might have given in to your emotions and sobbed right there on the damn couch.

"I needed you," Ewan says, eyes not leaving yours. "I needed you and you abandoned me, just like that."

"And are you not better for it? When I left, did they not make you General?"

"See, that is the difference between you and I," he says coldly. "I wouldn't have traded what we had for anything - no position, no amount of wealth, no glory... I would have chosen us every time."

"Aaand cut!" Patrick jokes, effectively breaking the tension.

The two of you have unconsciously drifted closer, now only a foot part. Ewan does not drop your gaze, watching you closely. You see his eyes flit down to your parted lips, and he leans in almost imperceptibly.

"Alright, how about we go one more time?" Amie says, diverting your attention. "Give us a different take, and then that's it!"

Ewan settles back on his end of the couch. When he reads his lines again, his tone is harsher and he no longer meets your eyes.

Patrick and Amie commend you both afterward, singing praises about your acting abilities. Ewan is polite as always, blushing and grateful, but he practically dashes out of the door when the meeting finishes.

You're left standing with Amie, as Patrick has taken to his laptop to file the footage.

"The way he looks at you," she sighs dreamily, referring to Ewan. "You'd think the sun shone out your arse, doll."

"He... he was just in character," you disagree. "He's a good actor, as you know."

"Yeah, I mean, he nailed the part's rancour perfectly. But his eyes - oof - you've got a good one there."

Oh. Of course they would still assume you and him are together.

How desperately you want it to be true.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

An hour later, you've just sent Phia a text saying - You owe me. Where do I meet you guys?

But you hear a knock on your apartment door. If you didn't buzz anyone in, it can only be a neighbour or someone the doorman recognised.

Someone familiar to you.

And it's him.

"Ewan?"

"I need to speak with you."

You step aside so he doesn't linger at your doorway. He walks past you, a welcome if not unexpected presence in the room.

You can't decipher his expression, his gaze angled downward as he leans against your kitchen counter.

When the silence becomes almost deafening, you laugh awkwardly, about to make some silly remark on whether he is still in character. But he doesn't let you diffuse the tension.

"I want you," he blurts out without warning. "God help me, I still want you. I think I might have a fucking problem because how can I... after what you did - " A momentary glance of betrayal, but you see the spite clear in his eyes. " - but I do. I can't get you out of my system."

"I'm sorry - "

"I don't need that," he says sharply. "I don't need your sorry. I need you. I need to have you, and maybe this way, I'll satisfy whatever pointless desire I still have in me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying - I'm asking - will you let me have you?"

"Ewan, I don't under - "

"I'm saying that we should sleep together," he says bluntly, and it feels like the rug has been pulled from under your feet, "but only just. You won't be mine, and I won't be yours."

"You're kidding."

He shakes his head, before adding, "Don't worry. It'll be our little secret. To the rest of the world, I'll have a different girlfriend anyway."

His words register, along with the bitter ache at his words, that you won't be his, he won't be yours. This is purely for pleasure. There used to be love here, and now he just craves the comfort your body allows.

You'll be using each other.

You should refuse. This is not healthy; this is not how you move on. Can you even go back to being good friends after this? But also - what have you got to lose?

What, except for him, and for good this time?

What, except everything?

"So what do you say - " He closes in on you, and with every bit of malice intended, the name no longer possessing the sweetness it once held, he sneers, "- darling?"

💌 next chapter

Taglist: @namelesslosers @skymoonandstardust @valyrianflower @luckyfirebasement @omgsuperstarg @elissanatok @callsignwidow @sinistersnakey49 @darkwriteracademia @yyrzmomo @queenofshinigamis @luvaerina @shamelessblazecrown @mirandastuckinthe80s @elleinex0x0 @pierrotlu @aegonswife @strangersunghoon @lunampacheco @writer-ann-artist @gaiaea @of-swords-and-words @ateliefloresdaprimavera @m00n5t0n3 @helaenaluvr @peachysunrize @annie-ruk @luvly-writer @ananas26t @athenafaes @lovelyteenagebeard @mamawiggers1980 @moongirl27 @katherine93 @barnes70stark @justbelljust @cloudroomblog @somestufftoday @esposadomd @girl-in-the-chairs-void @insideyourimagination @vyctorya @wildrangers @livcookesgf @onlyrealjoy (continued ... )

Some notes in the margins...

Well well well... the transition from friends to lovers to strangers to angsty FWBs sure is a slippery slope!

The time jumps are so we get through the moping quicker! It's mostly back to the regular shenanigans in the next part. Only, you know, angst-ridden. But you hurt Ewan, reader. *wags finger* Don't say you didn't expect this switch! Tsktsk

So what now - will you accept this arrangement? Will things ever be truly okay? Part 7 is going to be hot and hilarious and stupid and messy, just as the doctor ordered.

Let's hash it out in the comments, shall we? 🗡💕

[vigilante-3073]

Daddy's Credit Card

Cullen Family x Female Vampire Reader (Platonic)

PART 4

Summary: Bella's life is in danger and the Cullen family rallies around her. Feeling outmatched by the threat of an army and forcing themselves to work alongside the wolves, Edward reaches out to Y/N.

TW: Mentions of fighting, lack of regard for the feelings of others.

Graduation was fast approaching for the students of Forks High School and change was on the horizon. The student body was abuzz with conversations about future careers and top university picks. The Cullen family kept their involvement to a minimum, the less people knew about them the better.

Bella had her own ideas for her future and had been asking Edward to transform her into a Vampire. After the couple nearly became a Shakespearean tragedy in Italy, she had come to understand the fragility of their situation.

The Cullen family and Bella had come to a reluctant understanding that she would become a Vampire. The change would occur after graduation and Bella would be welcomed into their family with open arms.

Edward was pushing Bella to accept a marriage proposal before he would transform her, but Bella danced around the question every time.

Y/N had disappeared after she found Edward in Italy, he hadn't heard from her and he was reluctant to reach out.

Edward found himself missing her friendship, he had never been very close to the rest of his family and he wished that he knew how to fix things between them.

Y/N was a hazard to Bella. She was dangerous and Edward attempted to convince himself that they would be better off without her.

Carlisle was worried and he had been reaching out to his contacts around the globe to see if anyone knew where she could be. Edward wanted to assure Carlisle that Y/N would be fine on her own and she would return to them eventually like she had before. But something about this separation felt final.

She was gone.

Victoria had been returning to the area to hunt for Bella and the hypervigilance was beginning to take a toll on the family. Alice had been watching her decisions, but apprehending her was a difficult task.

Edward sat at his laptop at the table in the home of Bella's mother. He had taken her on a final trip before graduation while also allowing his family to hunt for the redheaded Vampire in Forks.

He watched Bella interact with her mother on the porch before his eyes returned to his screen.

'Y/N,

I don't expect you to read this, but I hope that you do. Carlisle has been searching for you and come up with nothing. If I were to begin looking for you, I wouldn't have any idea where to start and I suppose that would be my fault. I wish I had spent more time getting to know you, you have always looked out for me and that sentiment has not been properly reciprocated. I need you to know that I miss you and I miss our friendship.

The school-year is coming to an end and the family has made a choice about Bella's future. She wants to be like us and we have made the decision that she will join our family after graduation.

I am currently staying at Bella's mother's home in Florida. I brought her here in an attempt to get her to change her mind, but the trip also serves another purpose.

Victoria, James' mate, has returned to Forks in order to harm Bella. The family has this under control, but I thought that you should know.

I miss you and I'm sorry for the distance that I have created between us. I care about you and I hope that you return to us when you're ready.

Sincerely,

E.C '

His mouse hovered over the send button before he pressed it, slowly closing the laptop and returning his gaze to the porch. He hoped that Y/N would reply to his message, but he wouldn't blame her if she didn't.

...

Carlisle stood in his room, placing some folded dress shirts into his bag. Edward appeared in the doorway, "You know where she is?" He questioned.

"I heard back from one of my contacts in Milan. They seem to think that she's in the area," Carlisle stated, zipping up his bag and picking it up.

"I should come with you," Edward said.

"No, you should stay here. Bella needs you closeby in case Victoria returns," Carlisle advised, making his way out of the bedroom.

"What are you going to say to Y/N?" Edward asked, following after him as he moved through the house.

"I am going to ask her to come home," Carlisle stated simply.

"She's not going to come and you know that," Edward said.

"It's her decision and I can only hope that enough time has passed to soften her resolve. She went to you in Italy and it shows that there is still a part of her that cares for you," Carlisle said, opening the door and stepping outside.

He walked down the steps and opened the trunk of his car, placing his bag inside before closing it. Carlisle turned to his adopted son, "I will try my absolute best to bring her home," He assured, resting his hand on Edward's shoulder and giving it a gentle comforting squeeze.

"Tell her-," Edward began, the words died on his tongue. He gulped, "Tell her I'm sorry and that she was right," Edward said.

Carlisle gave him a small sad smile, "I'll tell her," He assured, stepping over to the driver's side and getting into the car.

Edward stood in the driveway as Carlisle started the car and drove off. He moved inside and found himself seated in front of his laptop again. His first email had never received a reply, but he still found himself composing a new draft.

'Y/N

Carlisle is coming for you. His contact in Milan told him that you were in the area and if you want to leave, now is your chance.

As a wise woman once told me, you have your own free will. Just know that I want you to return to our family more than anything and I hope that you will at least consider it.

I miss you and I'm sorry.

Come home.

Sincerely,

E.C '

He pressed send on the message, staring at his screen as he thought about how broken their relationship had become. Every time he thought that he could put the pieces together, another destructive part of him just continued to break them into smaller fragments.

"What are you playing at with this?" Rosalie asked from the doorway.

"I don't know what you mean," Edward stated, standing up and closing his laptop.

"I've seen what you're writing to her. I never took you as the type to grovel," Rosalie said.

"It's not like that," Edward snapped, exhaling in an attempt to calm himself.

"If you're telling her what you think she wants to hear, you're just setting her up to be hurt again. She's not stupid, Edward, she knows that you chose Bella over her. It still probably feels like she's swallowing broken glass when she thinks about it too hard, but she'll get over it. She got over it when Carlisle left her in the dust," Rosalie said.

"That's not what happened," Edward stated.

"You're right... Carlisle couldn't bear the weight of her affection and he offered you up to her on a silver platter before taking a wife, thinking that it would fix everything. He broke her heart and now you're doing the exact same thing, but without there being anyone left for her to turn to. She is alone out there and your fluffy little emails are keeping her stuck on you. Leave her alone and let her move on," Rosalie stated before walking off down the hallway.

...

Carlisle returned from Milan empty-handed like Edward had expected him to. A part of him still felt disheartened when Carlisle told him that he didn't even see her. There was no trace of her in Milan, but she never left anything behind when she moved along. She had pretty much perfected the skill of vanishing over time.

Edward attempted to refrain from emailing Y/N after his conversation with Rosalie, but there was no one that he wanted to talk to more.

A nomad Vampire had made its way into the area and Edward discovered that the person had been inside Bella's home. The Cullens put a protective detail outside Bella's home to keep her and Charlie as they searched the area. The Vampire was nowhere to be found, but the nomad being in Bella's bedroom and the rise in Newborn activity in Seattle was becoming a concern.

The Cullens quickly realized that the threat was palpable when Alice foresaw the Newborns coming to Forks in order to kill Bella. The wolves had agreed to fight alongside them in order to protect the humans of Forks, but they were still greatly outmatched. Edward found himself at his computer once more, fingers hovering over the keys before he shut the laptop.

He pulled his cellphone from his pocket, dialing Y/N's number and holding the phone up to his ear. Edward listed the line ring, fully prepared to hear that the number was no longer in service. He was almost shocked when the line clicked, no voice was heard on the end of the line but he knew that she was there.

"Y/N... If you're there, I need your help. Bella is in danger and we're going up against something big. I know that I have no right to ask, but your help could really make a difference for us. Please, I need you here," Edward said.

He waited for a reply, reluctantly hanging up the phone after another moment of silence and tossing it down on his desk.

He ran a hand over his face before leaning back in his chair, he heard movement in the room across the hall and slowly stood up from his chair.

Edward made his way over, watching Bella turn in her sleep, reaching out across the bed. His mother's ring glittered on her finger in the moonlight, he gulped before slowly approaching the bed. A part of him felt like he had lied to Y/N, but he also knew that she would never come if she knew of his engagement.

Was that why he'd done it? To give her a sense of finality?

It was unlikely that Y/N would ever return to the family, but news like this would absolutely destroy her. Edward knew that the real reason he hadn't told Y/N on that twenty second phone call was because he didn't know how to close the door on her. Y/N carried that unrequited love for him all these years and he had pretended not to notice it. Edward had been selfish, he needed her friendship too much to tell her that they could never be together in the way she wanted.

Some may call him heartless, but he could only hope to abuse that soft spot she had for him one last time. He needed to.

To save the woman he loved.

....

PART 5

[allthingsfangirl101]

A Night On The Couch – Glen Powell

Masterlist

Y/N got home from work past 7 o'clock. She hung her keys and jacket by the door. She let her work bag fall off her shoulder and left it by the door. She headed straight to the bedroom and quickly changed into a baggy shirt and a pair of leggings. She took off her makeup and pulled her hair into a messy bun.

When she walked into the kitchen to get a glass of wine, she noticed she was home alone. She grabbed her phone but stopped. She knew there was no point in calling her husband. She knew that he wouldn't answer his phone while at work.

The pros and cons of being married to an actor.

Y/N sat on the couch with her glass of wine in her hand. Memories of the horrible day raced through her mind. All she wanted right now was to wrap herself in her husband's arms.

Instead, she spent several hours sipping wine, watching a horrible reality show, with tears streaming down her face. When the front door opened, she let out a sigh of relief.

"You're home," Y/N said shakily as she put her empty glass of wine on the coffee table and stood up.

"Not for long!" Glen called out as he jogged upstairs. Just as soon as she was filled with hope, it shattered.

"Of course," she mumbled as she went to the kitchen and poured herself another glass. She walked back out as Glen ran down the stairs he just ran up, except now he was in different clothes.

"Sorry, babe. I gotta get going. I have a meeting and then. . ."

"I'm not surprised," she said, making him stop.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Seriously?" She scoffed. "Glen, this is the longest conversation we've had all month."

"And?" He shrugged. "We're both busy. You're the assistant to that big magazine producer."

"Eddie Morris," she sighed. "He's the editor of Vogue magazine."

"I said that," he brushed off. "What I was saying is that we're both busy. It happens to married couples who both work. It's normal."

"No, it's not, Glen."

"Of course it is," he shrugged grabbing his jacket from the closet and slipping it on. "Honey, it's difficult for married couples to both work and still have time for each other."

"Maybe that should tell us something," Y/N mumbled. "Glen, don't you think we should talk about that? We're never around each other and we never seem to mind. I'd really hate to say this, but maybe it would be easier for us to. . ."

"Don't say it," he said harshly as he turned around.

"It's not like I want a divorce," she tried to reassure him.

"You just said. . ."

"I  was going to say that we should talk to someone."

"Therapy?" Glen scoffed.

"Look, it's no secret that our marriage has been rough. We need to make more time for each other, Glen," she reworded. "We should take a break from our jobs and go on a trip or. . ."

"I can't take time off my work," he cut her off. "We're in the middle of a big movie. Plus, we're already behind and they haven't even finished writing the last few scenes. But your job is. . ."

"Not important?" Y/N finished for him. "Gee, thanks, Glen. Such a loving and supportive husband."

"I was just going to say that your schedule is a little more flexible than mine."

"I don't set my schedule, Glen," she corrected him. "Eddie does. And he's a bigger workaholic than you! Which means I get dragged along."

Y/N's voice broke at the end of the sentence, remembering the conversation she and Eddie had a few hours ago. Her husband didn't notice her whole expression change.

"Glen, I know you have a big important 'meeting' at the nearest bar with your costars," Y/N continued, the tone of her voice different, "but I really need to talk to you."

"Can we talk later?" He sighed, not hiding his annoyance. "I don't have time, Y/N."

"Glen, please," she said, her voice breaking. "I really need some time with my husband—just him and me. No work. No phones. No distractions. I need to tell you that I was talking to Eddie today and he decided to. . ."

"I have to go, Y/N," he cut her off.

"Of course you do!" Y/N laughed harshly, her anger from the events of the day finally bursting. "Considering your work is sooo important to you. Much more important than your wife."

"Come on, Y/N," he sighed. "That's not fair."

"Isn't it?" Y/N scoffed. "We are in the middle of a fight and you're choosing your job over me. Like you always do. You know what, Glen? Go. Go to work. And when you get home at 2 AM, you can sleep on the couch."

* * * * *

Y/N wasn't sure what time Glen got home. She went to bed after finishing the bottle of wine and didn't hear him get home. Glen got home a little after 3 am. He kicked off his shoes and instantly went upstairs to their bedroom. With his hand on the door handle, he froze. His argument with Y/N replayed in his mind.

He softly opened the door and saw her asleep in their bed. He wanted to wake her up and apologize over and over again. He wanted to take three months off so he could spend time with his wife and take her away from here and her job. . .

Her job. Something happened with her job yesterday and he left her.

He took a step into their room to talk to her but stopped. She had told him to sleep on the couch. He didn't want to. He wanted to wake her up and spend all night talking.

But he didn't. He turned around, closed the door gently, and walked back downstairs. He sat on the couch and instantly ran his fingers through his hair. He laid down, his mind racing through what could've happened to Y/N at work.

A few hours later, he woke up with his entire back aching. He froze when he heard her coming down the stairs. He sat up and watched Y/N come downstairs.

"Morning," he said to get her to acknowledge him.

"Morning," Y/N whispered as she walked into the kitchen. Glen watched as she walked over and poured herself a cup of coffee. Glen slowly stood up and tried not to stretch out his back in front of her.

She was now sitting at the table, slowly drinking her coffee. When he walked in, she froze but didn't look up at him. He poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked, trying to get her to talk to him.

"Fine," she mumbled. He looked down and saw that she was still in her pajamas when she was usually in her work clothes at this time.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?" Glen asked as he numbly drank the coffee.

"I would," she sighed. "But I don't work there anymore."

"Wait, what?" He roughly put down his cup on the counter and ran over to her. He knelt next to her and gently put his hands on her knees. "What happened, sweetheart?"

"It doesn't matter," she tried to brush off. She stood up, making Glen's hands fall off her knees. "Don't you have to get to work?"

"I'm calling in sick," he said, waiting for her reaction. Y/N turned around and studied him.

"You're serious?"

"Yeah," he said, walking over to her. "Turns out my wife needs some attention and she needs her husband to cheer her up."

Y/N threw her arms around Glen's neck, practically jumping into his arms, as she pressed her lips to his. Glen instantly caught her and started kissing her back.

"I'm really sorry about your job," he whispered, his forehead pressed to hers.

"I'm honestly not," she shrugged, leaning back.

"Let's get some bagels and we can talk about everything."

"Thank you," Y/N said with tears in her eyes. Glen leaned in and kissed her.

"I'm really sorry about making you think that my job is more important than you," he said, tightening his arms around her. "It's not true. Nothing is more important than you, Y/N. I love you."

"I love you too, Glen," she whispered, her voice breaking. He leaned in and kissed his wife. He broke the kiss with a playful smirk.

"Does this mean I don't have to sleep on the couch anymore?"

[the-oblivious-writer]

With Her I Die |3|

Past J.T to Eventual S.S x Female Reader

Chapter Three: Skinning Survival

warnings: hunting/animal death, blood and gore (animal butchering), suicidal ideation (subtle), survivor's guilt, past death, and grief/loss

taglist: @morganismspam23

masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

The woods are different in winter. Everything feels closer, more compressed without the buffer of foliage. Sound travels strangely—sometimes swallowed completely by snow, other times carrying with startling clarity. You feel exposed and hidden simultaneously, a contradiction that suits your fractured state of mind.

Natalie moves ahead of you, her steps purposeful yet silent. She holds the rifle with a casual confidence that you've come to recognize as part of her armor. You follow behind, knife strapped to your thigh, the weight of it both reassuring and terrifying.

"Travis usually spots while I shoot," Nat says without looking back. "You good with that arrangement, or you wanna switch it up?"

You just nod, then remember she can't see you. "Spotting's fine."

Your voice sounds wrong in your ears—brittle, unused. You've barely spoken to anyone except Shauna in weeks. Even then, your conversations are more silence than words, an unspoken language of grief that only the two of you understand.

"Cool. Your eyes are probably better anyway. Mine are fucked from the pills."

Natalie doesn't sugarcoat things. It's why you agreed to come with her today when Shauna suggested it. No pitying looks. No careful dancing around Jackie's name. No suffocating concern.

The rabbit is small—too small, really—but it's the first thing you've seen in hours. You point, a quick gesture that Nat catches immediately. She raises the rifle, breathes once, twice, then pulls the trigger.

The crack echoes through the trees, and somewhere far away a flock of birds takes flight. The rabbit doesn't move again.

"Nice shot," you say, and mean it.

Nat's mouth quirks up. "Don't sound so surprised."

You retrieve the animal, its body still warm through your gloves. Something shifts in your chest—not quite pain, not quite relief.

"We should keep moving," Nat says. "Daylight's burning."

By mid-afternoon, you've added two more rabbits and a scrawny squirrel to your collection. Not the bounty you'd hoped for, but better than returning empty-handed. Food has become precious, portions smaller with each passing day.

"Let's head back," Nat suggests. "Before it gets too dark."

The walk back is mostly silent. You're both conserving energy, saving breath in the cold air. But as the outline of the cabin appears through the trees, Nat stops suddenly.

"I didn't say it before, but... I'm glad you came today." She doesn't look at you directly. "Travis gets too in his head sometimes. Makes too much noise."

You understand what she's not saying: You know how to be quiet. You know how to disappear.

"Thanks for asking me," you reply, the words feeling strange on your tongue.

Nat gives a quick nod. "Yeah, well. Someone's gotta make sure you don't sleepwalk into a fucking ravine."

You stiffen at the mention of your nighttime wanderings. "Shauna talk to you about that?"

"She's worried. We all are."

"I'm fine."

Nat snorts. "Yeah, sure. We're all fine." She pronounces the word like it's poisonous. "That's why we're starving in the middle of nowhere. That's why we've already lost almost half our team. That's why we wake up screaming. That's why you're digging up graves in the middle of the night."

Her bluntness hits like a slap. You feel your defenses rising, that familiar anger bubbling up. "Fuck you."

"No, fuck you," Nat says, but there's no real heat in it. "You think you're the only one who lost someone out here? You think you're the only one who feels guilty?"

You start walking again, faster now, wanting to escape this conversation.

"Look, I'm not trying to be a bitch," Nat continues, keeping pace. "I'm just saying... we're all fucked up. But at least some of us are trying."

"And I'm not?" The words come out sharper than intended.

"Are you?" Nat's question hangs in the cold air between you.

------

In the cabin, you don't wait for anyone to ask. You take the animals outside to the makeshift table—a flat rock Shauna normally uses for butchering—and pull out your knife. Your hands are steady as you begin to work, stripping fur from flesh with methodical precision.

You feel Shauna's eyes on you from the cabin doorway, but she doesn't approach. This is something you need to do alone.

The work is gruesome but straightforward. There's a simplicity to it that calms your racing thoughts. Blood stains the snow at your feet, vibrant against the white. You remember other blood, other snow—Jackie's blue lips, her still chest. You push the memory down, focusing on the task at hand.

I can do this for us. I can provide this.

It's the least you can do, after everything. After the things you said. After failing to bring her inside that night.

By the time you finish, your fingers are numb despite your gloves, and the light has faded to a dusky gray. You gather the meat—pathetically little when laid out—and bring it inside.

The cabin falls quiet as you enter. You feel their eyes on you—Taissa's curiosity, Van's surprise, Shauna's cautious hope. You hand the meat to Misty without meeting anyone's gaze.

"Protein," you say simply. "Not much, but it's something."

Later, as the meager stew simmers, Shauna sits beside you, her shoulder touching yours. She doesn't speak, but her hand finds yours under the blanket you're sharing, fingers intertwining with quiet understanding.

"Nat said you did good out there," she finally murmurs. "Said you have a steady hand."

You don't respond, but you don't pull away either. It's the closest thing to peace you've felt in weeks.

That night, you dream of Jackie again. But this time, she isn't walking away. She's sitting beside you, those perfect fingers tracing patterns on your skin.

"You've got blood under your nails," she says.

"I know. I can't get it out."

"Did you kill something?" There's no judgment in her voice, just curiosity.

"To survive," you tell her. "We have to eat."

She nods, as if this makes perfect sense. "Are you angry with me still?"

"Yes," you admit. "I'm so fucking angry. And sad. And lost."

"I know." Jackie's smile is gentle. "You were always so good at feeling everything all at once. I envied that about you."

"I thought you hated it."

"I never hated anything about you," she says. "Even when I said I did."

You reach for her, but your hands pass through her like smoke. "I miss you so much it's killing me."

"Don't let it," Jackie whispers. "Please don't let it."

You wake with tears freezing on your cheeks, Shauna's arm around your waist anchoring you to the present. Outside, the wind howls through the trees, carrying secrets and sorrow in equal measure. But for the first time in weeks, you don't feel the pull to follow it, to dig your hands into the frozen earth where Jackie lies.

Instead, you turn into Shauna's warmth and close your eyes, allowing yourself to drift back toward sleep. Tomorrow, you think, you'll ask Nat if you can go hunting again. Tomorrow, you'll try to stay among the living for a little while longer.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part One

Summary: Some of your closest friends betray you and somehow push you into the arms of someone unsuspected. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5.7k Warnings: Mentions of cheating resulting in pregnancy and explicit language...I think that's it lol (Barely edited per usual lmao) a/n: You guys seemed really excited for this fic so I'm gonna make it a miniseries since even the poll results were so close so anyways I hope you enjoy!

"Is everything ready?" I ask my best friend Jina for the hundredth time today. "Yes y/n calm down. This party is going to be perfect don't worry" she says with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making me even more apprehensive but decide it's best to just take her for her word instead of digging deeper. 

"You're right, I should probably just go back upstairs and get ready huh?" I say and start heading upstairs to take the curlers out of my hair and finish up my makeup in her old bedroom. "Let me know if you need help, I'll just be putting the finishing touches on everything in the meantime" she calls after me and I respond with a quick 'okay' before running up the rest of the steps I had been ascending.

I walk down the hallway lost in thought and am stopped in my tracks when I find myself bumping into someone, almost falling over but he luckily catches me before I even have a chance to stumble back more than a few steps. 

"Careful there" he teases and I look up and apologize immediately. "I'm sorry Mr. Jeon I wasn't watching where I was going" I say quickly and he smiles at my flustered state. "It's okay darling don't worry about it" he says in a deep tone that has always gotten to me. I take a quick step back to create some much needed distance and to cover up the awkwardness that had settled in. 

"Thank you again for letting us hold our engagement party in your home. Are you sure you still don't mind?" I ask him as well for the hundredth time as if we had time to change things with mine and my fiancé's relatives already on the way. 

"Y/n if I minded I would've said no a long time ago. Don't worry, I'd do anything for you, since you and Jared have been such amazing friends to my daughter. It truly means more to me than you know" he says placing his hand on my bicep to aide in showing his sincerity. 

"Of course Mr. Jeon. Moving to a new state in the middle of your Sophomore year of  college has gotta be difficult for anyone so I'm just happy we could be there for her" I say smiling up at him. He stares at me for a second, studying my features before breaking out of the slight trace he had caught himself in to continue the conversation. 

"I'm sorry you're probably wanting to finish getting ready and I'm holding you up" he says taking his hand off of me and stepping aside so I can walk down the hallway to my intended destination. 

"Don't worry about it. We've got plenty of time as it is so I'm in no rush. Thanks again Mr Jeon" I say, quickly wrapping up the conversation and walk into Jina's room. Before I'm able to close the door though he makes it a point to remind me of something I've always forgotten.

"Haven't we agreed upon calling me Jungkook? Mr. Jeon makes me feel so old" he teases and we both laugh at his words. "Thank you, Jungkook" I say and he smiles, satisfied with the change. "You're welcome" he replies with an heir of sensuality that leaves my brain buzzing and I close the door before either of us has the chance to say another word. 

He's always made me nervous but why does today feel different? It's not like his playful nature is anything new. He's acted like this since the first day I met him and when I had brought it up to Jina she just said he was being friendly so I never really gave it a second thought. 

There's no denying he's a handsome man and from what I can tell him and his ex wife had Jina when they were quite young so he's not anywhere near old enough to make it seem a bit strange but I tend to just deal with the butterflies by ignoring them as much as I can. 

He makes sure to be respectful when Jared's around and he hasn't crossed any lines to my knowledge so I don't mind it. It makes me feel confident more than anything and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. 

I shake off those thoughts and finish getting ready before I start to panic about being late and end up finishing up a lot sooner than I had planned and as I'm putting on my heels I hear a faint knock at the door. 

"Come in" I call out and my fiancé pops his head in from behind the door. "Aw I thought I would catch you while you were changing" he says with a fake pout leaving me smiling and shaking my head at him. "You'll get to do that plenty of times once we're married you pervert" I tease and he scoffs playfully. 

"You know, now that I think about it I kind of am a pervert aren't I?" he says while stalking towards me, making my breath hitch and my adrenaline start pumping but I have to tell myself to calm down before I do anything stupid. "After the wedding I warn and he backs off like he always does.

I smile and get up from the bed I had been sitting on and give him a quick kiss but he holds onto the back of my neck, keeping me there for a little while longer and deepening the kiss. "You look gorgeous" he whispers against my lips and I smile before giving him a quick peck and pulling back to look at him.

"You don't look half bad yourself" I taunt and he scoffs before granting me a sarcastic 'thank you'. "I'm kidding baby you look handsome as always" I say and he smiles at that and places a quick kiss on my cheek before taking my hand and leading me downstairs to where we're met with a few of our family and friends having already arrived. 

"You should've told me they were here sooner" I whisper to him while I wave at them as we walk downstairs. "I didn't want to rush you" he replies, giving my hand a gentle squeeze leaving my heart fluttering at how thoughtful he had been.

"Thank you love" I say looking at him as if he's the only one I need. "For what?" he chuckles, studying my features almost as if he's committing them to memory. "For wanting to marry me" I say and he laughs at my cute sentiment. "Thank you for saying yes" he replies and at that we start mingling together throughout the crowd and thanking everyone for coming. 

~~~~~

We part ways after a few more groups of people come in and around the time we're going to bring out the champagne I start to look around to see if I can find him so we can both be ready to make a toast once everyone's gotten a glass.

As I look around and ask a few people where he might be they point toward the far end of the house where not many people had wandered to and so I curiously make my way over to the room I had assumed he would be in but before I'm even able to put my hand on the door I hear the voices of not only Jared but Jina as well. 

"We have to tell her" I hear her say and stop short, my heartbeat immediately raising as I hold my breath, waiting for the response. "You told me you were on the pill though. How did this happen?" and at that my heart breaks. "I don't know I guess I forgot to take a couple of them and-" "And so what? You decided that screwing me without protection would work out just fine? Fuck Jina" Jared cuts her off and I hold my hand over my mouth to stop the sobs that I know are sure to come. 

"You were the one that said you wanted to stop using them" she defends. "Oh and so now it's my fault. Jina we both agreed to that and you know it" he says and at that the room falls silent for a moment before he speaks up again.

"What are we gonna do?" he mumbles, leaving the choice in her hands. "We need to tell her because I'm not getting rid of this baby. I don't care if you're going to be in our kid's life or not but either way we're telling her" she says, standing firm on what she thinks is right. 'She should've thought about that before she started fucking my boyfriend' I think to myself and wait for the conversation to continue.

"She deserves to know" she says in a hushed tone and they both agree moments later that they'll tell me after the party to avoid both of our families catching wind of it and at that I walk away as quietly as I can, heading to the bathroom across the house to collect myself before I even try to face anyone. 

'How the fuck could they do this to me? How could they do this to us? Did everything the three of us did together really not matter? All of this love that I gave Jared and he gave me made me feel like we were gonna last forever but I guess my wants and needs weren't enough for him. He wanted what he wanted and found that in my best fucking friend. 

I chuckle dryly at that thought and how ironic it sounds at the moment. The wants to avoid the drama of the rest of the family knowing? Well they don't have that kind of luxury anymore. 

I collect myself a few moments later and make my way out of the bathroom to intermingle again until I happen upon my soon to be ex fiancé in the crowd. 

"Hey honey" I say and I can see him trying to hold back the guilt at my words and I hold back from ripping his head off for the sake of what I'm about to do. "Should we go ahead and bring out the champagne and make a toast?" I ask and he nods his head agreeing wordlessly. 

"Great I'll ask Jina to help us out" I say and I can see how stiff his whole body becomes after I mention her name and he laughs it off and walks closer to me and I hold out my hand for him and guide us both over to where we've placed everything for the toasts. 

~~~~

"Does everyone have a glass?" I call out and everyone says yes and Jina makes her way around, filling everyone's glasses but her own. "Okay great Jina go ahead and grab a glass and then if you guys don't mind we'd like to pose a toast!" I say and everyone places their full attention on both Jared and I who are standing side by side. 

I watch as Jina tentatively fills her glass half full knowing full well that she won't be drinking any of that but I singled her out as a way to make her even more uncomfortable. Serves her right honestly but it's only just begun. 

"Okay everyone, firsts things first I would just like to thank all of you for coming. It is just so wonderful we could all gather here together and the fact that you all made the effort to come and celebrate Jared and I is just something that I won't ever forget so thank you again from the bottom of my heart" I say and hear murmurs of 'You're welcome's and 'Thank you for inviting us' throughout the crowd and I continue on after those die down.

"Another person I would like to thank would be my best friend who I couldn't have any of this without her including being able to host this party in her's and her father's wonderful home so thank you both for that" I continue and I look for Jungkook in the crowd and see him raising his glass to me and I turn my attention to Jina moments later and see the forced smile on her face and I smile back at her and take a deep breath before continuing. 

"You know Jina has been such a great friend to both Jared and I and the countless memories we've made together are something that I'll always hold close to my heart. One memory in particular is one that I think we'll all remember for the rest of our lives is one that I would like to share with you all" I say and I watch as Jared and Jina make nervous glances at each other but I hear the room fill with words mentioning how cute our friendship is and how it's nice to have close friends that get along. Oh boy they're about to know just how well we all get along. 

"This one actually just happened not too long ago, in fact it was just today wasn't it guys?" I say making eye contact with the both of them and I can see as both of them realize that they've been caught. 

"Yeah it's funny I was looking for Jared not too long ago to try to find where he had scurried off to and low and behold I found him and Jina having a cute little chat together just over there" I say and motion to the secluded part of the house where they had been and I see the crowd go from happy to confused. 

"They had been talking about how they had a surprise and they needed to tell me after the party but I figured that I would just give them an opportunity to say it now so all of us can hear it together. Would you guys like to share it with everyone?" I ask the two of them and wait a few moments before Jared tries to shut me down. 

"I think that's probably a conversation we should have in private right Jina?" Jared says, pleading with her to back him up. "Oh are you guys too shy? Don't worry I can say it" I counter, brushing him off. "Y/n I don't really think that's necessary" Jina now tries to reason with me but I'm way too far gone by now.

"Why not? Doesn't everyone deserve to know that you're pregnant" I say, pausing for the rest of the family to smile at the surprise and some of them start to congratulate her but before they can get too far I continue on. 

"Yeah she's pregnant with Jared's baby! Isn't that so sweet?" I say and at that point the room goes so silent you would hear a pin drop and I break it by continuing to rub salt into the wound. 

"I know right? It's so crazy isn't it? It was a surprise to me too. Congratulations to the both of you" I say and down my drink while they stand there speechless as does the rest of the crowd. 

"So yeah anyways thank you all so much for coming and get home safe!" I say and make an exit into the backyard while Jared and Jina chase after me. 

"Y/n, y/n wait. Please" Jina calls after me first, following as I make my way over to the clearing behind the house and away from prying eyes. "Why should I wait huh? It's not like you waited and thought 'Hey maybe it's not the best idea to be raw doggin my best friend's boy friend' or were you guys still fucking by the time you asked me to marry you?" I ask the two of them and they both just stand there in silence. 

"You know what, you guys are perfect for each other. The whore I thought was my best friend and the whore who chased after her because neither of you could keep it in your pants. Thanks a lot, have a nice life" I say and storm off into the small clearing behind Jungkook's house, praying they won't follow me. 

"Oh and another thing" I say before walking too far, "I'm keeping the ring to compensate for emotional damage you bastard" I spit at my ex and his jaw drops, never having heard words like that come out of my mouth ever let alone directed at him. 

"Baby wait I can explain" he says trying a pathetic excuse of trying to get me to get him to hear him out. "Pretty sure I heard everything I needed to hear when you were having your little rendezvous earlier" I say, fully admitting to listening in on their conversation. 

"If I never see either of you again it'll be too soon" I say and continue on into the clearing, walking just far enough to be out of their view. "We really fucked up didn't we?" I hear Jina say and soon hear Jared scoff in return. "We fucked up? No you fucked up! You should've been more responsible" he throws back at her and storms off. "What the fuck Jared don't you dare walk away from me" she yells and chases after him, following him back into the house. 

After taking a few deep breaths and convincing myself over and over again that this is for the best and I'm better off without them I slowly make my way back into the yard and sit on the bench that's furthest away from everything, hoping no one finds me out here. Luckily it does the trick and I'm able to avoid facing anyone from the party and soon hear all of their cars leaving and the place falls silent. 

"They're all gone now if you want to come inside" Jungkook says, walking over to me tentatively, making sure he doesn't do something to make me run off. I look up at him with a tear streaked face and try to smile but ultimately end up hanging my head, hiding what little emotions I've let myself show and he walks over and sits on the far side of the bench I'm on. He doesn't say anything, he just sits with me and lets me ride the wave of emotions I'm feeling but also letting me know he's there if I need him.

I let out a few shaky breath after having let a few more tears fall before collecting myself and drying my eyes. "I'm sorry" I whisper and he turns towards me with a confused look on his face. "Whatever for?" he questions, puzzled as to why I could possibly be apologizing. 

"For the show I put on back there. I was just so mad when I overheard them talking and I don't know, I felt like I wanted to humiliate them since they decided to fuck behind my back like how fucked up can you be to sleep with your best friend's boyfriend?" I spout off and then look over and remember who I'm talking to. 

"I- I didn't mean. I'm sorry Mr. Jeon" I apologize again and hang my head in shame. I'm met with a chuckle as a response and when I look up at him I can see that he's clearly very amused. "What's so funny?" I question and he continues to laugh. 

"I'm sorry darling, just seeing how horrified you looked when you remembered that you were talking shit about Jina to her father was kind of hilarious and honestly adorable" he chuckles and I let out a breath and smile at him, happy he wasn't offended by it. 

"I wasn't thinking straight, I'm sorry" I apologize again, feeling so so guilty for bringing all of this drama to his house. "Hey, you have nothing to apologize for" he says softly, placing his hand on top on mine. The one that happens to be sitting on my thigh and I gulp at the sight of his big hand enveloping the sight of my hand and now has his fingers resting high up on the inside of my thigh. 

"It's not your fault that they're both fucked up and you got caught in the crossfire okay? So please don't apologize about that again" he says and I nod my head mindlessly, my eyes still focused on the hand that is now squeezing my thigh in reassurance but I can't get past the feeling of having his hands on me like this. 

He stands up a second later, taking his hand off of me and I look up at him, almost as if questioning why he stopped and he simply smiles at my cute reaction. "Let's head inside alright? It's gonna start getting cold out here soon" he says and I nod my head, wordlessly following him back into his home. 

"Did you want a drink?" he asks and I jump at the opportunity. "Yeah I'll just take this" I say while grabbing one of the barely opened champagne bottles. "Did you want a glass?" he chuckles, watching as I take a big gulp out of the bottle. "No need, this is fine. Might as well not let it go to waste right?" I say and he hums in acknowledgement while poring himself a drink. 

I walk around his living room and take in everything about it, reminiscing about all the memories and shared laughter there had been here over the last couple of years and find my mind wandering a bit. "I'm really gonna miss this place" I say, meaning to keep it to myself but accidentally voicing it loud enough for Jungkook to hear as well. 

"You're welcome to come back here anytime you'd like" he replies, startling me when I realize he's gotten closer and is now sitting on the couch directly behind where I stand, facing the mantle and looking at the various pictures placed on it. Pictures of Jina, Jared and I over the years, ones that no doubt Jungkook had taken. 

"I always hated this picture" I say mindlessly and I hear him get up off the couch so he can see which one I'm referring to. "Oh the one where I took all of you to the beach house a few years ago for your birthday? Why? Didn't you have fun?" Jungkook questions, genuinely surprised with my reaction to it. 

"No it's not that, I had a great time. I just feel like I look like a wet dog in that picture" I admit and I'm granted with a little chuckle beside me. "Hey" I whine and glance over at him, my breath hitching when I realize just how close he's gotten. 

"You know what? Now that I think about it I don't really like that picture either" he says and I turn my body to fully face him, highly offended and demanding he explain himself. "I didn't like the way that Jared was touching you that day. He couldn't keep his hands off you and I know that it was making you uncomfortable" he says, lowering his voice an octave and causing a shiver to run through my body. 

"How did you-" "When a man really pays attention and cares for you he can tell from the slightest change how their woman is feeling. I guess he just never got the memo" he says, glaring at Jared in the picture and how he unashamedly has his hand placed directly on my ass while I'm wearing a swimsuit that I had already felt uncomfortable in in the first place. 

My mind goes into overdrive with what those words could've possibly meant. 'Was he paying that close of attention to me that he noticed something small like that? Has he been jealous of Jared? Does he care for me?' are just some of the questions that start swirling around in my brain and before I can register what had happened next he's gone and sat on the couch and is suggesting I come sit down as well. 

"You've had a long day don't you think?" he asks and I nod my head and sit on the other side of the couch making sure to keep proper distance between us. "Yeah I guess you could say that" I chuckle dryly and take a drink from the champagne bottle I still have in my hand but end up spilling it on myself. 

"Shit" I say and Jungkook quickly grabs a napkin to help clean up having spilled some on the couch as well. "I'm sorry" I apologize, constantly finding more and more reasons to apologize and he shuts me down again. "A little champagne never hurt anybody don't worry about it" he says, brushing it off and leaving me feeling a little less guilty. 

"Why don't I grab you a glass and give you some of my clothes to wear so if we have another little mishap it won't be as big of a deal" he offers and before I can refuse he's already given me a glass and is halfway up the stairs. Gosh my brain really must be working in slow motion already. 

~~~~~

After Jungkook gives me a big t shirt and sweats I change into them and tie the drawstring tight to aide in keeping the pants up and look in the mirror of the bathroom I had been changing in and realize how much of a mess I look like right now with smudges of mascara under my eyes and my nose all red from all of the crying I had been doing earlier. 

I quickly wash and dry my face and throw my hair up and out of the way since at this point theres no saving this look and just accept defeat, walking out in my now more casual look and find him sporting an almost identical one. 

"Feel better?" he asks and I nod my head and walk towards where he's standing. "Come here" he says holding out his arm and pulling me into a hug. I melt in his embrace and almost start tearing up a bit again, but push back a little and softly break apart from his embrace before the two of us sit down. 

"I don't know how to feel honestly. I feel angry and sad and betrayed and relieved and heart broken and I don't know. I'm just confused" I start and he nods his head, encouraging me to continue and so I do. 

"We've been together since before Jina and I had ever met and things had always been so good between us and then when Jina came along it felt like things had gotten even better if that's makes sense. We had our three amigos group going and whenever we were together it felt like the rest of the world didn't matter. Or I guess at least that's how I felt" I say and take a shaky breath in and out before preparing to say the next part. 

"When Jared and I got together, I told him right off the bat that I wanted to save myself for marriage and he respected that. I will admit that we both had gotten close to breaking that boundary I set  once or twice but he always backed off when I asked him to and I was thankful for that. Guys my age or guys in general don't really respect that sort of outlook anymore so the fact that he was more or less willing to date me after knowing that gave me hope for us" I say, letting everything off my chest.   

I down my glass and pour myself another one before continuing on and I take into account that he's watching my every move. "I figured 'If he had a problem with it and got tired of it then he would've dumped me' or 'He's had really good self control all of these years so that must mean there's something special between us'. So when he asked me to marry him I said yes without thinking twice. I had my knight in shining armor, the one who waited for me and I couldn't be happier" I scoff, taking another gulp of champagne. 

"Looks like he waited to have me but got someone else to fulfill his needs on the side" I mumble and down the rest of my glass before pouring another and I can see the concern in Jungkook's eyes growing but I pay no mind to it. 

"You know after all that I just can't help but wonder 'Was it all worth it? Was saving myself and in the end losing the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with worth it?' At this point my virginity is becoming more of a hassle than anything and honestly I don't want it anymore" I say, finally voicing how I had been feeling about keeping myself pure for a while. 

"I feel like it would be best if I just got it over with and went on with my life you know?" I say, finally looking at Jungkook and I can see how dilated his pupils are and how ragged his breath has gotten, doing a horrible job at concealing it.

"Can I ask you something Mr. Jeon?" I question, leaning towards him, a new gained confidence flowing through me from all the alcohol that I had consumed in such a short time. Downing glass after glass throughout our whole evening. "Jungkook" he rasps and I feel a fluttery feeling building in my stomach. 

"I'm sorry, I always seem to forget. Jungkook, can I ask you something?" I repeat placing my hand on his thigh, feeling the muscle tense up at the contact but he nods nevertheless and waits for me to continue. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" I question, wondering what his experience might've been like. 

"Um, when I was about eighteen I guess. It was right before I graduated high school" he answers truthfully and I nod my head, mulling over what I plan to say next.

"It seems like a man of your age has had his fair share of sex am I right?" I ask and see him gulp at my assumption. "I guess you could say that" he responds and leans back a bit when I get closer. "Mr. Jeon do you have a girlfriend right now? Someone you might be seeing?" I ask, making sure that in my tipsy state I won't make the same mistake my hopeless excuse of a best friend and ex made. 

"No, I uh I'm not seeing anyone" he says quickly and I nod my head and wait a moment to get my words together. "Do you think you would mind taking my virginity?" I ask and at that his jaw drops, not expecting to be asked something like that straight away but in this state I guess you could say I'm full of surprises. 

"I- What?" he asks, confused and concerned as to if I actually meant what I said and not only that but clarifying to make sure he's heard me right. "I'm asking you if you would take my virginity. You said you'd do anything for me remember?" reminding him of his words from earlier in the day. 

"Y/n I think you might've had a little bit too much to drink" he says scooting back from me to create some distance but I close that distance moments later. "No I'm fine, I haven't even had that much silly" I say, slowly starting to slur my words but still conscious enough to make them coherent. 

"Look I think that's something you should keep until you have a chance to give it to someone special. Someone who you care about and cares about you too" he says, trying to softly reject me but it falls of deff ears.

"I care about you though. Don't you care about me?" I pout and he shakes his head and tries hard to hide a smile but fails. "Of course I care about you darling but I think you're too confused and too drunk to be making this sort of decision" he say holding my shoulders at arms length to keep me from getting any closer to him.

"It's okay Mr. Jeon I know what I'm doing. Oh! I mean Jungkook" I say cutely, leaning in a bit more and his arms give in, letting me get a bit closer so as to not harm either one of us. "Don't worry I won't tell Jina" I say and he clears this throat at the sound of his daughter's name. 

"Y/n I really don't think this is a good idea" he says, watching almost helplessly as I place my hand on his shoulder and use it to anchor myself as I climb onto his lap and although his words have said otherwise, his hands are the ones that guide me by my hips to sit on his lap, giving me a boost of confidence in my decision.

"Can you do this for me?" I ask and his eyes ping pong between mine, seeing how blown out my pupils are and notices how hot my skin has become. He stays silent and just takes in all of my features and waits for my next move. I lean in closer to him and run my fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. 

"Just take it" I say against his lips and without a seconds hesitation he grabs the back of my head and smashes his lips against mine. 

It's a mess of lips and tongue and teeth, accompanied by the sound of him groaning and pulling me closer and me moaning at the feeling of being desired by someone like him. Someone strong and confident and undeniably sexy. Someone who wants me just as much as I want him but before I can fully grasp what's about to happen I feel myself slipping away and lose control of my body. 

"Y/n?" Jungkook questions feeling my body slump against him after I had broken the kiss and rested my head on his shoulder. He smiles at the realization that I had fallen asleep in the midst of it all and wordlessly stands up, carrying me off into the guest bedroom and laying me down to sleep there for the night.

"Goodnight darling" he says, placing a kiss on my forehead before walking out of the room and slowly closing the door behind him.

prev / next Series Masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @bangtans-momma @coralmusicblaze @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @marvelbun @j3nni-rs @evidive @beomieboi @forevrglow @jesssssmaybankk @teugiie @chaconnelatte @whoa-jo @snehal @xumyboo @mindurbuzznezz @diorh0seokie

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)