#i hope walmart has nothing you want don’t give dirty looks to people for no reason keep an eye on ur child running around instead

[hellfireeddiemunson]

i just wanted to come to walmart real fast with my sister and then go home and get drunk but our dad decided to come with us and now we’ve already been here 40 minutes and done essentially Nothing bc my dad is just Looking at camping shit

[calumance]

Love is electrifying - C.H.

Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, a sprinkling of cussing.

Word Count: 3k

Summary: First dates are terrifying, and they’re especially terrifying when you don’t even know who you’re going on a date with, but sometimes blind dates can end up being the best dates.

A/N: HELLO! This was originally a request that was sent to me, however I got incredibly carried away and ended up making a oneshot out of it. You can find the original request here. Also I apologize that it took me so long to get this posted. PHEW I hope this is worth the wait, I’m excited to share this with you!! Feedback and requests are always welcomed!!! (Want to be added to my tag list? Let me know!)

Masterlist

        The clock was ticking closer to the time your date was supposed to be picking you up. As you stood in front of the mirror, assessing the outfit you chose, you started to question why you ever agreed to go in a date with someone you’d never met before. Maybe it was for the thrill, the adrenaline rush, or maybe it was because Sierra literally begged you to give him a chance. You rolled your eyes and shook your head remembering that day.

        Sierra had been your best friend since middle school, it wasn’t until after high school the two of you split. She stayed in your hometown for college while you went north to New York for college. Even though you didn’t see each other every day, you made a point to talk to each other. Whether it was a good morning text, or a text ranting about the irritating professor you or she encountered. The distance between the two of you grew as her musical career started to take off, and so did your more nine-to-five career.

        It wasn’t until you received a transfer notice that you mustered up the guts to call Sierra. She squealed when she heard you were moving to Los Angeles, and babbled about how much she missed you and couldn’t wait to have sleep overs again. You had laughed and your stomach filled with excitement as you realized that even though the friendship was distant, nothing actually changed. When you landed in Los Angeles, she was the first one to greet you, her arms open wide and a smile spread across her face. When you wrapped your arms around her, you knew you were home.

        It took about a week for her to start bugging you about your love life. You were out getting lunch on a Saturday afternoon, her hair tied up in cute space buns, sunglasses covering her eyes. The way she dressed for a Saturday lunch made you look like you were dressed to be featured on the ‘People of Walmart’ website. Sierra dropped her fork to her plate and looked at you over the top of her sunglasses, “So you’re telling me that you haven’t dated anyone since high school?” The look on her face said there was no way she would ever believe you.

        You shrugged and stabbed mindlessly at the food on your plate, “I mean, there was a couple of meaningless things in college, but nothing serious.” When you looked up at Sierra, she had leaned back in her chair and pushed her sunglasses back up to the top of her nose. The wheels in her mind were turning and your furrowed your eyebrows. “What?” You asked feeling as if there was a storm brewing in her mind.

        She snapped her head back towards you as a mischievous grin spread across her lips. You reared back, terrified of what she was about to say. Before saying anything, she leaned forward, crossing her arms on the table and licked her lips. She wiggles in her chair as the same grin came back to her face, “What if I set you up on a blind date?” Your heart raced in your chest and you kicked your lips and stared at her like a deer in the headlights. “I have this friend, I think he’d be perfect for you.”

        Friend? Her friends were almost all A and B list celebrities, who in the hell did she want to set you up with? You shook your head and laughed a sarcastic laugh, “No, Sierra. There’s no way that I am worthy enough to date any of your friends.” The blood rising in your face finally reached the top of your ears as you looked around seeing if there was anyone around that you didn’t want to hear your next thought, “I mean you’re dating Luke Hemmings for fucks sake.” She shrugged and gave you a look that proved she didn’t see this as anything other than normal. Not wanting to explain how someone like you dating someone of her status was weird, you just sighed. “Will you at least tell me who it is.” She grinned in satisfaction and responded by raising her eyebrows and sticking a fork full of food in her mouth.

        It’s five minutes until your date is supposed to pick you up and Sierra has yet to tell you who she set you up with. The nervousness running through your veins starting to buzz the more the clock ticks. You had tried to call Sierra multiple times, but she never answered. Two days ago when you asked her how he was going to know your address she simply responded with “I know where you live.” Her voicemail answered again as your hands trembled, the nerves finally taking over the thrill of the unknown. You cursed at your phone just as the doorbell rang.

        The sound made your skin crawl, and your stomach jump into your throat. Slowly, you dropped your phone into your bag and made your way to the door. Your fingers pressed to the door as you stood on your toes and tried to peek out the peep hole. The peep hole was dirty and smudged so all you could see was the blurry outline of a person standing on the other side. Your fingers wrapped around the door knob as you took a deep breath and tried to calm your heart. The door creaked as you opened it, your eyes finally landing on the man on the other side. Immediately you recognized him, “Oh, fuck,” slipping off your tongue. Calum let out a soft laugh and looked down at his feet. If he said anything to you, the sound was muffled by the intense beating in your chest. You closed your eyes and placed your hand on your forehead, “That wasn’t supposed to come out of my head, I’m sorry.”

        Calum laughed again and raised his eyebrows, lifting his head slightly to look at you. “It’s good, haven’t gotten that reaction in a long time.” He lifted his head fully and tucked his hands into his pockets. His hair was combed back and to the side, giving him a slight pompadour style. His normal curls that you’ve seen in pictures being tamed by the gel. A black leather jacket was pulled over white button up which was loosely hanging over his black jeans. The outfit was topped off with a pair of old black high top converse. You snickered at the half effort he put into his outfit, but somehow he still looked more put together than you. “I made us reservations at a restaurant not too far from here, are you ready?” His brown eyes looked at you with a shimmer, a shimmer that told you that he was safe, safer than most blind dates. With a nod, you reach for the door handle and stepped out and shut the door behind you.

        The car ride was quiet, only glances were stolen. The butterflies in your stomach unable to calm down, making you feel more than nauseous. As you looked over at him, he looked at you, your eyes connecting. The heat in your cheeks caused you to turn away and touch your face to see if you’re were physically hot. Beside you, Calum cleared his throat and loosened his grip in the steering wheel. “You look very nice, by the way.” He said, causing you to turn your attention back to him.

        Again your cheeks felt hot as he smiled at you. Your stomach did a flip as you ducked your head and swallowed the lump that was quickly forming in your throat. “Thank you, you too,” was all you were able to choke out. Your eyes widened as you looked out the window, embarrassed that that was the only thing you could get out. Calum let out a soft chuckle, but didn’t say anything else.

        As Calum pulled into the parking spot, you started to grab your bag and take off your seat belt. “Stay right there.” Calum said, a soft smile spread across his lips. Your eyebrows furrowed as you released the seat belt and watched Calum jog around the front of the car to the passenger side. He popped the door open and held out his hand. Reluctantly you placed your hands in his, immediately a bolt of lightning running from your fingertips to your shoulder. He helped you out of the car then shut the door behind you. As soon as he let go of your hand, you looked at it and flexed your fingers. As he walked away from you, shooting you a quick smile and shoving his hands in his pockets, you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt it too.

        Calum opened the door and stood off to the side, allowing you to walk into the restaurant first. A soft ‘thank you’ fell from your lips before you stepped to the side and let Calum be the first to walk up to the hostess. She welcomed him with a warm smile, and he returned it before giving his last name. You continued to stand behind him, your arms awkwardly crossed in an attempt to hide in nervousness. As the hostess left the stand, Calum turned towards you and held out his hand. Afraid of what his touch would feel like, you hesitated. As you placed your hand in his, you flinched, but it didn’t stop to lightning from shooting through your whole body again. A sigh escaped your chest as the tingling dissolved and Calum pulled you to the table.

        Even though the waiter had just finished dropping off your glass of wine, the sound of Calum slapping the menu down on the table made you jump. He chuckled and apologized for scaring you, “Sierra has told me a lot about you.” He said as he folded his hands together. As he leaned forward placing his arms on the top of the table, he wiggled in his seat, readjusting his position.

        The smile sitting on his lips lit some sort of fire in your stomach. A fire that you haven’t felt in a long time, a fire that caused you to hastily reach forward for your glass of wine and wash the majority of the liquid down, hoping to give you some sort of liquid courage. You raised your eyebrows and made a face that was caused by the bitterness of the liquid in your glass, “That’s funny because up until the point I opened the door I had no idea who she set me up with.” You gulped, but you weren’t sure if it was because of the lump that was forming again, or if it was from the dryness the wine left. The glass made a quiet thump as you set it on the clothed table, “What exactly did she tell you?” You asked while using your pointer finger, middle finger and thumb to twist the stem, spinning the glass on the table.

        Calum cleared his throat as your gaze met his. From under the table you could tell that his leg was bouncing in nervousness. You tried your best to relax since it was obvious your nerves were wearing off on him. “She told me you two grew up together, and she also told me that you were one of the sweetest, polite, shy, beautiful people she’s ever met.” He grinned and the nerves in your body start to buzz again, but you composed yourself and swallowed everything down.

        A question sat in the back of your mind, a question that you weren’t sure was appropriate to ask someone you met only an hour ago, “was she right?” It slipped out, and almost immediately you regretted it. You could feel the bile sitting in your throat; you shook your head and looked down at the glass that you were still nervously turning between your fingers.

        A sly grin stretched across Calum’s lips as he sat back and copied your actions by turning his glass while it sat on the table. He glanced up at you and you felt your stomach jump into your throat. He slowly started to nod, “So far.” He said while dropping his gaze back to his glass. The butterflies filled your stomach and your cheeks flushed a bright red. You lowered your head to hide the flirtatious smile that was slowly starting to stretch across your face.

        As dinner played on, your nerves started to relax. There was nothing really to be nervous about, from what you could tell Calum was just as normal as you were, aside from the whole rockstar thing. He didn’t act like a rockstar, when you had asked him why he didn’t go out and party like most rock stars, his smile faded and he shook his head, “those days are in the past, the old me, you could say,” he said as a smirk pulled at his lips as he referenced his own song. A chuckle rumbled in your chest as you lowered you head and nodded in understanding.

        The car ride back to your place was less quiet than the one on the way to dinner. This time it was full of laughter and ‘get to know you’ questions. When Calum pulled up in front of your house, you swallowed. The night had gone so well that you didn’t want it to be over, you wanted this feeling to last forever. You ducked your head as you looked at your hands and fiddled with the strap of your bag. The thought of inviting him in crossed your mind, but you knew if he came in then it would lead to more, breaking your rule of no sex on the first date. It wasn’t because you think he would push for it, but more because you weren’t sure if you could control yourself. There was just something about him; he was sweet and polite, but at the same time of the most attractive humans you’d ever laid your eyes on. Calum cleared his throat jolting you out of your thoughts. “I had a really good time tonight.” He said sheepishly with a nod.

        Your heart raced as you nodded in agreement, “I had a really good time tonight, too.” Your hands trembled in your lap as you thought about the possibility of him kissing you. Instead of looking at Calum, you directed your attention back to your house. As you reached for the door handle, you felt as if everything were in slow motion. Your palms felt sweaty as you turned to Calum to bid him goodnight and saw the look in his eyes telling you how badly he wanted to kiss you. But there was something in your gut telling you to leave, so you popped the door handle and ran towards your front door, without saying another word to him.

        Once you were on the other side of the door, you let out a breath and pressed your back to the door. The chill of the door against your skin causing shivers to run up and down your spine. The feeling of wanting to burst into tears suddenly overcame you as you fumbled for your phone in a desperate attempt to call Sierra. When she answered, you broke, the tears started to fall, even though you really had no reason to cry. “Why didn’t you tell me you were setting me up with Calum? If I had known I never would have agreed,” you cried, “He deserves more than me, I made a fool of myself going out with someone as elite as him.” Your chest heaved, no matter how normal he acted and how normal everything felt, the fact of the matter was he wasn’t normal at all.

        For a moment Sierra was at a loss for words, giving you time to calm down. “Elite? What are you even talking about, darling, he’s as normal as you and I. So he has a successful music career, that does not change who he is, and it definitely shouldn’t change how you see him. When you were with him, did you feel like you were with someone famous, or did you feel like you were the only people in the world?” You thought about dinner and how you felt, really you hadn’t noticed the other people in the room. Once your nerves started to relax the only other person who made an appearance in your vision was the waiter. Before you could answer, Sierra continued to babble about how crazy you sounded, but what actually caught your attention was the sound of a light knock on your front door.

        The tears immediately stopped as your eyebrows furrowed. Without saying another word to your best friend, you ended the call then slowly made your way to the door. As badly as you wanted to peek out the peep hole to see who it was, there was a feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you that you already knew who it was. Your fingers delicately wrapped around the doorknob as you twisted it to open the door. Calum had his hand on the back of his neck, and the other dug deep into his pocket. Although your eyes were locked, neither of you said anything, but somehow you knew you were thinking the same thing. “I don’t want the night to be over,” Calum breathed out before lifting his hands to either side of your face and hastily pressed his lips against yours. The same bolt of lightning jolted through your body, this time much stronger, causing you to inhale a sharp breath. At first you hesitated to kiss him back, but when the reality of how badly you didn’t want the night to end either, you balled the material of his t-shirt in your fists and pressed against him. As his lips moved against yours, you couldn’t help but think that breaking your personal rule this one time won’t be such a bad thing.

************

Tag list: @mantlereid​ @notinthesameguey​ @viiirg0​ @wheniminouterspace​ @thinkofmehlgh​ @another-lonely-heart​ @limer-encia​ @itsmytimetoodream​ @babyoria​ @treatallwithkindness​

[dejayoonw]

hold tight , jjk

part 5 | make it up

word count: 4.3k

warnings: jealousy, mentions of drugs, dirty talk, praise, pet names(baby girl, little girl, pretty girl, she calls him daddy), jk has a big dick, oral (m receiving), deep throating, face fucking, fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, spanking, finger sucking, like one (1) pussy slap, he cums in her mouth

a/n: this is part five of my social media au hold tight & will probably make most sense if read along with the rest of the au.

~~

“Come on, we don’t want to be late do we?” tugging your best friend's hand towards the door you wondered how Jungkook would react if you were to be a little late to the wedding, would you get to see him annoyed like the first time you met him just before he recognized you? You hoped you’d get to see that side of him again, liking it more than you cared to admit. Pushing your thoughts to the back of your mind you got into the passenger seat of Tae’s Bentley, it was his proudest possession to date. You were happy that your best friend's hard work had paid off enough that he could afford something like this, plus for the two of you to live in an upscale apartment. Of course the two of you shared the rent on the place but still, you were proud of him for being so successful while doing something he loved. 

Pulling up to the wedding venue you smiled to yourself as Tae pulled into the parking space next to Jungkook's car. Your smile was soon wiped off your face the second Jungkook stepped out of his car. He was wearing tight black pants that accentuated his thighs with a button up shirt tucked in, two of the top buttons undone to show off a little bit of his chest. The only disappointment was one of your favorite parts about him, his arms littered with tattoos, had been covered by his sleeves. And yet, you still couldn’t find it in yourself to be disappointed, not when he looked this good. You will yourself to stop gawking at the boy, letting your eyes meet his only to see him already looking back at you with an uncharacteristically smug look on his face. You couldn’t care less that you’d been caught, in fact you were glad he’d seen you. You threw a wink his way and turned to your friend, taking the camera he’d lent you to use for the job out of his hands. Poor Tae was doing his best to ignore his best friend eye fucking the guy he’d hired, he found himself wishing more and more that Hoseok had been available. 

Throughout the wedding you made sure to focus on the job, as much as you wanted to flirt with the pretty man in the oh so tight jeans you didn’t want to mess things up for Taehyung. So you kept to your section of the venue and did as you’d been instructed. The ceremony surprisingly seemed to go by quickly though the reception was lasting a lot longer than you’d expected. You weren’t sure how many people kept the photographers around throughout the whole reception but you guessed if you had a rich daddy to pay for everything you might do the same. Just as you were about to take the fortieth picture of the bride's grandmother doing shots with yet another man in his twenties you heard your name being called. 

“The groom said they’re about to move the party to one of his friends' houses, it’s just their friends. He invited us.” Taehyung told you quietly so no one would overhear. Jungkook stood next to him though his eyes were anywhere else but on you or Tae. 

“So they want us to take pictures of their friends doing coke and getting fucked up?” You mumbled not exactly excited about the extra work. Jungkook snorted at your response, you couldn’t help but smile a bit, feeling proud. 

“No they want us to come get fucked up with them. Or, at least I don’t think that they’re planning on doing drugs.” Taehyung seemed to be questioning whether he should even go now, worried you might be right. 

“Look at them Taehyung, of course they're going to do drugs. Why should that stop us from partying like Belford? We can be The Wolves of Walmart.” Taehyung shook his head at your ridiculous joke, especially considering you probably had just as much money as any of them, but chuckled nonetheless. How the two of you had even stayed so close into your adulthood was honestly something you both wondered everyday. You two were so different. Where he worried about things like drugs and shied away from anything overly sexual you didn’t bat an eye to it. You weren’t necessarily into coke or anything hardcore like that, but you’d smoked your fair share of weed in your lifetime. 

“We’ll go if you want to but if anyone offers me a line I’m leaving.” Tae said, shuddering slightly at the thought. You smiled up at your soft hearted best friend finding his caution endearing. This was why you’d been able to stay close, because the differences the two of you had always seemed to be nothing in comparison to the adoration you held for each other, platonically of course. Once upon a time you might’ve harbored a crush for your introverted, modest friend but then he came out to you in tenth grade and you quickly got over those feelings. Besides, you were more into the bad boy type anyways. 

“Are you coming too, Jungkookie?” You asked looking up at him through your eyelashes, eyes opening just a little wider. How could Jungkook say no to you when you looked at him like that? As much as your relentless teasing made him feel like he might have an aneurysm, he couldn’t resist spending more time with you. It felt weird not having you messing with him today, so maybe you’d talk to him at the party. This was probably the last time you’d see each other anyways, he should make it count. 

“I’ll go for a bit.” The cute little smile that took over your face was enough to rid Jungkook of any second thoughts he might’ve had. Jungkook saw you as this powerful intimidatingly sexy woman who somehow still emitted the cutest energy. How would he ever survive tonight with you switching back and forth so drastically? 

It didn’t seem to be a concern once the three of you got to the party. Ever since you walked through the door you’d been swarmed by multiple people. It was one after the other, even if Jungkook had worked up the courage to talk to you he’d never get the chance to. So he sulked on the couch, squished in between a couple engulfing each other and the arm of the couch. He’d lost Taehyung a while ago, though Jungkook figured he’d found someone for himself. 

You loved your viewers, well most of them, there were definitely a few on the weirder side that occasionally took things too far, but overall you loved them, you were so thankful to them. It was times like these though, that you wished your job wasn’t so public. You’d been stuck in the same spot for the last hour, person after person had come up to you to ask if you were Honey from onlyfans. You hated that you sounded so snobby in your head but you really just wanted to talk with people normally tonight, you were there to have fun after all. Not that talking with your viewers wasn’t fun, you just really wished it didn’t feel like work sometimes. You’d zoned out on the guy next to you who had been telling you all of his favorite videos of yours in great detail. Your eyes found Jungkook across the room, a strong pout on his lips as he played on his phone. You tilted your head slightly wondering what had him so upset and why he wasn’t enjoying himself. 

“Yuta, dude, leave that poor girl alone. Sorry Honey, he doesn’t know how to shut up sometimes.” One of the girls, who’d earlier introduced herself to you as Sorn, said trying to save you from her friend. Honestly Yuta wasn’t bothering you, it was just that he’d been rambling for the last 10 minutes and you would much rather be figuring out what’s going on with Jungkook right now. You smiled over at Sorn silently thanking her. 

“It’s no problem, I think it’s sweet that you enjoy my content so much Yuta. I do think I'm going to go check on my friend though, again, it was nice talking to both of you.” You said, smiling sweetly at Yuta while winking at both of them before making your escape to Jungkook. You say yourself on the arm of the couch he was sitting on, catching his attention right away. You couldn’t help but notice the annoyed look on his face when he looked up at you. 

“Why are you pouting over here all by yourself?” You asked him trying not to laugh at how obvious it was that he was struggling not to look at your legs that you’d draped over his own. 

“Not all of us have a fan club everywhere we go to keep us entertained.” Jungkooks sharp tone had caught you off guard and shamefully sent a wave of head down to the pit of your stomach, but maybe that was the drink you’d been nursing since you’d gotten here. You weren’t sure why you found yourself wanting to make it up to Jungkook, you hadn’t done anything wrong. It’s not like the two of you came together or anything. Yet here you were, giving him your best apologetic eyes, with a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry Jungkookie, I didn’t mean to make you jealous.” You said quietly, hoping he wouldn’t think you were still teasing him. Jungkook didn’t know where this shift in attitude came from but he could swear he’d seen this look somewhere before. 

“I’m not jealous, what do I have to be jealous over?” He didn’t know if he was trying to convince himself or you but it was clear neither of you were buying it. You didn’t push it though, you didn’t know why you felt so compelled to make things right with him. Maybe it was just instinct because you were admittedly attracted to him and you tend to submit to the people in your life who you connected with physically.  

“But still, we’re friends and I let you sit over here alone while I talked to a bunch of people. I should’ve stayed with you. Let me make it up to you?” There was no way in hell Jungkook was reading this right. You were sat with your legs draped across his lap, your fingertips grazing his shoulder and every so often they’d brush his neck just slightly, but there was no way you were saying what he thinks you’re saying. 

“What, um, what do you mean?” He asked, avoiding your intense gaze. 

“Anything you want, name it and I’ll do it.” How was this happening? Jungkook had to be reading it wrong. But, what else could you mean? His mind was racing so fast, he felt himself freaking out. Before he even thought about it Jungkook was mumbling something about finding a bathroom and stumbling off away from you. Jungkook wasn’t even sure how he found the bathroom, but all he knew is he needed water, now. 

Splashing some of the water onto his face Jungkook attempted to calm himself down. Why had he gotten so freaked out? This wasn’t like him, normally he was good at getting people he was interested in, man or woman. Why did you make him so nervous? Just because he’d seen you naked before didn’t mean you’re any different from the people he’d slept with before. Except you were, he hadn’t slept with you. He’d just seen some pictures and maybe a video or two(or fifty) of you. He’d fantasized about you without even knowing you and now he knew you, kind of. He felt creepy. Why did he though? You posted that stuff for people like him to look at, you made it clear that you knew he’d seen your stuff and you didn’t act like you felt weird about it. In fact, you acted like you liked it. So why was he hiding in the bathroom? You’d basically just offered to fulfill all the fantasies he’d had about you. He had never been one to run from that kind of offer before, at least not from someone as beautiful as you. 

The more Jungkook thought the more he hated himself from most likely missing his chance with you. How many of your viewers could say they’d had this opportunity? He didn’t know, but the answer was none. You’d made it a rule a long time ago not to sleep with any of your viewers. There was just something about Jungkook, which is why you’d made your way outside the bathroom to apologize for freaking him out. You weren’t sure why you thought he’d wanted to sleep with you in the first place. Sure you knew he’d seen your stuff online but that didn’t mean anything. Jungkook didn’t see you at first when he opened the door but when you’d called out his name he was glad to see you. 

“I’m sorry I forced myself on you like that, I think I just read the signs wrong. I got carried away because I think you’re really attractive and, I don’t know, I’m sorry.” You kept your eyes on your hands folded in front of you. You had this pitiful look on your face like you were ashamed of yourself. Jungkook was disgusted with how hot he found it. Why did literally everything about you turn him on? More importantly why hadn’t he jumped at the opportunity to act on it when he first noticed that you were willing. Yoongi would’ve called Jungkook a little bitch if he’d seen the way he’d been acting around you. 

“Shut up and get in the bathroom.” Your eyes went wide as you checked to make sure it was actually Jungkook’s mouth those words came out of. You felt heat rushing to your cheeks at the stern look on his face. Where had this come from? Where had he been hiding this side? You knew if you walked in that bathroom you’d be getting exactly what you’d silently(and not so silently) been begging for since you met Jungkook. He didn’t want to push you, but he couldn’t deny the excitement he felt when you rushed past him into the bathroom.

“If you don’t want to do this we don’t have to.” You told Jungkook when he shut the two of you in the small bathroom. You wanted to give him the opportunity to leave before anything happened. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel pressured. 

“I can assure you babygirl, I want nothing more than to show you just how much I want this.” Before you could process his words Jungkook's lips were on yours, kissing you like a man starved. His lips were soft and he wasted no time being gentle, sliding his hands in your hair and tugging your head back further to give him better access as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Then, before you could get used to the feeling of his mouth on yours, his lips left yours and attacked the skin on your neck. Sucking, nibbling, and licking as he tried to find your sweet spot. Your fingers were desperate to cling onto something, moving from his back up to the base of his neck you raked your fingers through his hair as his mouth worked wonders on your neck. You were a whimpering mess as he left little marks all over your neck. Jungkook smiled at the sweet sounds leaving your lips, feeling proud of himself for getting this kind of reaction without even really doing anything. You could feel the wetness beginning to pool in your panties and you ached for some kind of relief. You involuntarily pushed your hips into his, feeling his already forming bulge causing both of you to moan at the sudden contact.

“You better keep your hands to yourself if you want this to go well for you, little girl.” You had to stop yourself from moaning out loud at his words. Jungkooks grip on your hips was tight enough that you’d probably bruise but all you could feel was pleasure. 

“Kookie please,” You begged, dropping down to your knees in front of him, taking his large hands in yours. “wanna make it up to you.”

You wouldn’t continue without his explicit permission, so you gazed up at him with wide eyes. How could Jungkook say no when the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen was on her knees in front of him begging to suck his cock? 

“Go ahead baby girl, show me what that pretty mouth can do.” He said letting his hand fall to the back of your head gently. His cock was practically screaming to be let out of the tight confidments of his jeans. As you cautiously undid the zipper and button and pulled both his jeans and his underwear down at once Jungkook let out a soft noise at the relief. You gawked at his size, he was probably the biggest you’d ever had, prettiest too. Your mouth was watering at the sight, he was perfect. 

Looking up at him you were stunned again by the beauty that is Jeon Jungkook. Staring down at you with his mouth agape he brought his hand to your jaw, swiping his thumb along your bottom lip. Keeping your gaze locked with his you opened your mouth, sticking your tongue out just slightly, licking at the pad of his thumb. Jungkook groaned slightly as he finally guided his cock into your mouth, watching you close your lips around the head and started slowly bobbing your head up and down his shaft. You began to use your tongue as you quickened your pace. Jungkook was mostly silent but you could tell he was enjoying himself when he tightened his grip on your hair every time you took him deeper.

You began to use your hands a bit, causing a moan to leave his lips at the feeling. You then took his cock deeper, finally making him buck his hips forward, hitting the back of your throat. Rolling your eyes back you pushed your head down further on his cock hoping he’d get the hint. Thankfully he did, tangling his hand in your hair to hold your head still, he bucked his hips again, harder this time, shoving his cock even farther than before. He repeated the motion, fucking your face until you had to tap out. 

Pulling off of his dick with a pop, you were gasping for air, your chin covered in saliva and your hair was a mess, you looked perfect. Quickly Jungkook pulled you up by your arms needing to feel your lips on his again. Your pretty little hands snaked their way up Jungkook's shirt, feeling his abs as he kissed you. How that simple action affected him so much Jungkook didn’t know, but he did know he was in for it. Sex before didn’t come close to how it felt with you and he hadn’t even fucked you yet, how was he ever supposed to have sex again with a random girl knowing it could be this good with you? 

You lightly traced Jungkook’s abs letting your hand slowly fall down to his cock, pumping it in hopes of getting what you wanted. Jungkook kissed you a little harder making you moan and rub your thighs together for some relief. Needing to feel you Jungkook pulled your hand off him and roughly turned you around, pushing you against the bathroom counter. You whined at the feeling of his hard cock against your ass. 

“You’ve been such a good girl baby, sucking my cock so well. Feel how hard you made me?” He whispered, his raspy voice sending more heat to your dripping core. His arms wrapped around your waist, his hand cupping your clothed pussy making you whine out. “Want to be my good girl? Want me to fill up this pretty little pussy?

“Please.” You begged, wanting nothing more than to be his good girl. Jungkook pulled your dress up over your ass, yanking your soaked panties down letting them fall to your ankles. His hands gripped your ass as he admired the pretty sight for a moment before he dipped one finger into your entrance almost groaning at how tight and wet you were. 

“Fuck babygirl, who did this to you? You’re soaked.” He teased, adding another finger to stretch you out enough for his cock. You let your head fall forward, loving the feeling of Jungkook's fingers pumping in and out of you. Then suddenly he pulled them out and slapped your aching pussy causing you to yelp. “I asked you a question, pretty girl.” 

“You did.” You whined out, pushing your ass back into Jungkook's hips, needing some relief. Thankfully he shoved both fingers back in, feeling satisfied with your answer. But he wasn’t done teasing you. 

“Are you sure it’s only for me? Not all those other people you were ignoring me for?” He asked, curling his fingers up and hitting your g-spot. 

“No, fuck,” You moaned as he continuously hit that spot, you were so close. “It’s only for you, daddy.” 

Jungkook groaned at the nickname, he’d never cared much for it but something about the way you said it made his dick twitch. He pulled his soaked fingers from your pussy ignoring the whine you let out in protest. He spread your juices all over his cock before lining the head at your entrance. Both of you let out gasps of air and soft moans as he slid his cock into you. 

“Fuck baby, you feel so good.” All you could manage to reply with was moans of agreement as he bottomed out. Both of you needed a moment to not cum right away. The feeling was too good. Needing him to move you ground your hips into his making him groan out a sweet sound as he gripped your hips tightly to stop you. Before you could beg him to move he had pulled back almost all the way out and slammed his hips back in forcefully. Your head fell forward as he repeated the action at a fast pace. His hands left your hips to squeeze your ass, letting one hand fall down to spank you, surely leaving a handprint. 

Needing to get deeper Jungkook pulled your leg up onto the counter, gripping at your thigh tightly. You moaned at how deep he was getting now, knowing it wouldn’t be long before you were coming apart. Jungkook shushed you letting his free hand wrap around to shove two of his fingers into your mouth to silence your loud moans.

“You’re doing so good for me pretty girl but I need you to be quiet okay? We don’t want to get caught, do we?” The thought of someone catching the two of you had you clenching around Jungkook's cock, making his hips sputter for a moment. “Oh you like that idea? The thought of someone finding out what a slut you are for your daddy?” 

Jungkook's hand left your thigh and immediately found your clit, rubbing at a fast pace to match the way he was pounding into you. You moaned loudly around his fingers, biting down on them lightly causing a hiss to leave his lips. Your leg that had been holding you up was starting to feel like jello but you ignored it as you came undone all over Jungkook's cock, clenching and shaking in his hands. He held out, fucking you through your orgasm until you let your leg down so you could hold youself up. Jungkook quickly pulled out ready to cum on your back until you dropped to your knees and opened your mouth wide. Moaning at the sight Jungkook let his load spill all over your tongue only getting a little bit on your lips. You kept your eyes on his as you gathered his cum on your fingers and popped them in your mouth making sure you got every last drop. After you swallowed you opened your mouth to show him, making him smile down at you, grazing your cheek with his thumb. 

“Did I do good?” You asked softly, still staring up at him with wide eyes. 

“You did amazing baby girl.” He told you, pulling you up to stand. He chuckled and held you still when you wobbled slightly still not fully able to stand on your own. Crouching down, Jungkook pulled your panties up your legs for you and let your dress back down. 

“Thank you, daddy.” You told him, partly teasing and partly serious. He rolled his eyes and smirked at your words placing a soft kiss on your cheek. The moment was interrupted by a banging on the door, making you two jump apart.

“Yo, are you two idiots not done yet?”

[221castiel]

Yesterday - Chapter One

Master Post // AO3

-

He isn't exactly sure why he wants it so badly, his own parents were only married for five years before Mary had died and even then it was only a year later when John had stopped wearing his ring. Opting to instead leave it some drawer filled with other forgotten items; pennies and keys with no purpose other than to collect dust. Cas's parents had divorced when he was nineteen. Something that had become a long legal battle over every little thing, the house, the kids, every single piece of silverware that filled the kitchen.

Marriage had never been a permanent thing in either of their lives, and yet, Dean wanted it. He wanted it the same way he wanted the sun to set every night and rise every morning. He wanted to whisper each vow as he stared into Cas's vibrant eyes, to feel the other's lips as they kissed for the first time as a married couple. Dean wouldn't consider himself a romantic, he was just as happy to stay at home and watch Game of Thrones as he would be going on an over planned date, and yet, he wanted every sappy moment he would roll his eyes at growing up. The first dance, shoving cake in each other's faces, the perfect ring, which Dean had quickly learned is something far easier said than done.

It had taken months of stopping at the mall's jewelry store, sorting through each shipment of new rings before he'd finally found the perfect one.

"Holy shit," Charlie cries, her nose only inches from the glass case that she'd lent over, "that's a lot of bling." Dean nods, a grin tugging at his lips. Charlie's excitement was contagious, warming his chest as she continued to study the ring. He had a ring. He was going to propose. It was happening. "Seriously dude," Charlie continues in the same raised voice, "Marline Monroe would be jealous of this."

"Well could you keep it down," Dean teases, as one of the workers behind the counter gives them a side glance that he's frankly too excited to care about. "Or at least let me buy the ring before you get us kicked out."

Charlie looks up, a wide smile across her face. Her bright hair had been pulled back in a ponytail though through the workday it had begun to fall out and now framed her face in small strands. "Sorry," Charlie whispers, a grin still spread across her lips. She stands up properly and adjusts her walmart vest that she'd draped over her arm. "I'm just so excited for you- and jealous of Cas."

"I'll buy you one next."

"I'm holding you to that," Charlie teases, causing Dean to roll his eyes.

She looks back to the glass case and Dean steps forward looking over her shoulder at the rings that fill it, his gaze immediately finding the ring he'd spent the past weeks looking at. The band itself is silver, the center lined with small diamonds, while the edges were carved with a leaf like pattern. In the center a large diamond sat, catching the store's bright light and reflecting it in small shimmers. "Do you think he's going to like it?" Dean whispers. He'd been sure Cas would, but now he couldn't kick the tug in his stomach, the thought that maybe he's better off saving for a little longer, buying one a little bit more expensive or with a bigger diamond.

"He's going to love it," Charlie replies.

Dean looks up as Charlie goes silent, meeting her concerned gaze. Her lips pressed in a tight line, eyes darting over Dean's face, eyebrows knit together, her whole expression weighs on him. He already knows he doesn't want to hear whatever she has to say. Is it too late to walk away?

Despite the sudden dread that weighs on his shoulders, Charlie continues speaking. "Look," she begins, "I want to be all supportive and stuff, I really do, but how the hell can you afford this, it's gotta be more than you and Cas make in a month."

"I've been savin'"

"For what the past century?"

"Three years and just under ten months," Dean corrects. He shrugs his shoulders looking back down to the ring. "But who really keeps track of that crap."

Dean shoves his hand into his jean pockets, pressing his lips together as he looks across the rings. He can feel Charlie's eyes burning against the side of his head, but he refuses to meet them, he already knows the expression that would sit across her face, concentrated and curious, trying to figure out Dean's exact thoughts.

Charlie takes a small step closer, and Dean doesn't move, continuing to study a rose gold ring that holds a dark blue jewel in the center. "Dean," Charlie says, her voice low and gentle. "You know Cas would be just as happy with a cheaper ring, something you can actually afford."

"Cas would be happy with a fuckin' ring pop," Dean grumbles. "Doesn't mean I can't buy him something better."

"Could you push a side your prince charming complex for five minutes, and not make the most financially stupid decision of your life?"

Dean looks back to the silver ring. He knows Charlie's right, hell the thought has been in the back of his mind since he'd begun saving, putting every extra penny or dollar won during a game of pool, aside. They could pay off almost two months of their health insurance, fix their bathroom sink, save the money for if an emergency came. Dean could think of a million different things the money could go towards. Things Cas, who was far too selfless for his own good, would want the money to go towards, yet Dean couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Charlie-"

"You can't-"

"No," Dean insists, looking back to the other. "I'm going to do it."

Charlie's expression softens her lips tugging into a gentle smile. A gesture that's so simple yet seems to lift whatever weight that'd been resting across Dean's shoulders, easing his breathing, and allowing him to return the smile. "He's going to love it," Charlie says.

"I hope so."

-

His feet ache as he doesn't so much as walk down the apartment building's hallway but drag himself, the dim lights above casting shadows over the dingy hallway walls. Stopping at his apartment Dean pulls the keys from his pocket, the sound of fighting from the neighbours clear through the thin walls.

Fuck people. After a six hour morning shift at Walmart followed by a five hour shift at McDonald's filled with bitchy people and forced smiles, Dean was done with people. Especially loud neighbours that spent nights fighting until they broke up, only to get back together a few days later. If he had to listen to make up sex even once that night he was complaining to the landlord.

A loud crash comes from their neighbours and Dean sighs. Maybe he'd prefer the makeup sex over hate sex.

He finally manages to unlock the door and step into his apartment where he's immediately met by silence, the main room of the apartment -a small joint living room and kitchen- dimly lit by the living room table lamp. Though other than the lamp and a few dirty dishes there was no sign of anyone else. Not that Dean minds, it gives him a moment to breath. A moment to catch his thoughts and relax.

After dropping his things onto the kitchen chair Dean goes to get a glass of water, though his attention quickly changes as he stops at the kitchen counter where papers were spread out. A mix of bills and lined papers that were covered in Cas's neat writing.

Across the top of one page the words, Next Month's Budget, had been printed. Various numbers were printed underneath as Cas balanced out their income, trying to figure out how they could buy new light bulbs while saving money for Jack's birthday. He feels sick just looking at the numbers.

He already knew everything on the page. There were no surprises, medical insurance took out most of his income, car insurance took what was left. Everything Cas made was spent on food and rent, making sure the heat stayed on the months they really needed it and that water came when they stepped in the shower. There was close to nothing left.

He already knew that.

And yet he feels sick.

He flips the page over to read the back, though he doesn't get more than a glance before the sound of footsteps comes, followed by Jack's voice, "dad!"

Dean turns at the sound, forcing a smile across his face as Jack comes running towards him, a wide smile across the child's and his arms out for Dean to pick him up. "Hey kid," Dean hums, picking Jack and resting him against his hip. "Did you have a good day?"

"So good!" Jack cries, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck in an awkward half hug, causing a genuine smile to tug at Dean's lips. A warmth spreading across his chest that has him gripping Jack together as the child buries his face into Dean's neck.

"So good, huh?"

"So so good!"

Dean laughs, smiling down at Jack. "What made it so good?"

"We goed to the park," Jack says, burying his face further into the crook of Dean's neck where he rubbed his nose much to Dean's disgust, then made a soft sniffle. "And- and drawed."

"All while you're sick?"

"I'm not sick!"

"He's been refusing to take the cold medication," Cas says, Dean's gaze immediately darting up at the sound of Cas's low voice. He stood at the entrance of their hallway wearing one of Dean's AC/DC shirts, his dark hair tousled with strands overlapping one another or simply sticking out in random directions as a small smile rests across his face that Dean returns. How couldn't he. When his boyfriend was standing there looking gorgeous even with his messy hair and slightly darkened eyes from lack of sleep. Boyfriend- hopefully soon to be fiance.

"I don't want it," Jack grumbles. Dean looks back down to the pouty expression that now rests across Jack's face, his bottom lip puckered out, and eyes pleading. Something that only makes Dean's smile grow. "It's bad, I want ice cream!"

"How about you take the medicine," Dean offers, "and I'll get you some ice cream, deal?"

Jack stares back for a moment, bottom lip still puckered out as he gives a firm nod. "Deal."

After Jack runs off to the bathroom, Dean grabs a bowl from the cabinet filling it up with a few spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream before he walks out of the kitchen. He makes his way down the small hallway and into Jack's room where he finds Jack standing on his bed while Cas helps him get into his superman pajamas.

"Superman?" Dean hums as he steps into the room, careful not to break any of the toys that scatter the floor. "Batman's way cooler."

"See Daddy," Jack cries to Cas, "I telled you! I telled you!"

"I know Bee," Cas replies as he helps Jack slide his arms through the shirt's holes. "But they need to be washed."

"I want them now!"

"You can have them tomorrow night."

"Tonight you'll just have to be lame Superman," Dean teases as he takes a seat on Jack's bed. He knows it's not a good time, Cas is obviously tired, and Jack is starting to get sick, something that always leaves him a little more sensitive, but he can't help himself. He knows it's worth it when Cas sends him a glare, an expression that Dean finds far cuter than he ever should.

"Daddy!" Jack cries, Burying his face into Cas's chest as Cas wraps his arms around the child and rubs small circles into his back.

Cas leans down pressing a kiss to Jack's head. "It's okay Bee," He whispers gently, though when he looks back up the glare he gives Dean is anything but that. "You're provoking him," Cas whispers.

He definitely was.

"Am not," Dean replies in a similar low tone. Cas's eyes narrow, and Dean sighs. "Let me fix it."

It takes a few minutes for Dean to calm Jack down, between a mix of apologies and promises that Superman was in fact a very cool super hero, and in fact almost as cool as Batman. By the time he does, Jack is more than happy to eat his almost melted ice cream, then receive a piggy back ride to the bathroom where he brushes his teeth, and continues to tell Dean about his day. Specifically about the squirrel he'd seen at the park and the tv shows he'd watched in the morning. Finally after a long conversation about a show Dean's never even heard of, Dean manages to get Jack into bed, whispering a goodnight before he goes to flick off the lights.

He reaches out to the light switch, his finger grazing it before he hesitates, looking back at Jack.

Even in the single bed Jack looks small, far too small for a four year old. The doctors had insisted it was fine, a common side effect to a chronic illness, nothing anyone could fix, and yet Dean couldn't help but feel guilty. A weight in his stomach as if he'd swallowed lead, he wanted to fix it so bad, wanted to make sure Jack was never going to be anything but okay. He wanted to fix it no matter how many times he was told he couldn't, and he knew Cas felt the same way.

Jack made a small sniffle then his eyes fluttered open, meeting Dean's stare. "Dad?" Jack whispers, his voice sounding more nasally than before.

"Yah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," Dean whispers back, a small smile tugging at his lips as he flips the light switch.

After stepping out of Jack's room, Dean takes a deep breath allowing himself a second to calm his heart before he walks into his own bedroom, finding it empty. The living room and kitchen is exactly the same as when he first got home, the lamp still dimly glowing, dirty dishes and papers still scattering the surfaces. The only difference is that the porch door had been propped open, letting the night air linger through the living room

Dean walks across the livingroom and to the porch doorway, where he leans his shoulder. An easy smile spreads across his face as he watches Cas stand over one of the many plant pots that cover their tiny porch.

With a pair of scissors in hand Cas carefully looks over the pot of Marigolds, cutting off any leaves that had begun to wither and letting them fall off the porch and onto the street below. A concentrated expression rests across Cas's features as inspects the plants, his lips pressed in a tight line and eyes narrowed, his fingers working carefully. How Cas had the patience to watch something grow, to care for something so frequently, Dean would never know.

"It's cold," Dean finally says, stepping onto the deck. Cas doesn't look up and instead picks up his watering can, tilting it over to let the water soak the marigolds. "Do you need a coat?"

"I'm fine."

"You won't be saying that when you're sick."

"I won't get sick."

"Just cause you don't get cold doesn't mean you can't get sick," Dean mumbles.

Cas looks up, the smallest smile tugging at his lips as he tilts his head to right, a small action that always brings a warmth to Dean's chest. A comforting feeling that leaves him wanting more, one more look of Cas's eyes, one more touch of his fingers that were surely frozen from the chilled wind, one more second of just being with the other.

"Dean," Cas insists in his usual gravelly, monotone voice. "I am fine."

Despite Cas's arguments Dean tugs the first sleeve of his jacket off and then the second, the evening air immediately freezing against his bare arms. "Comeon angel," Dean says, offering his jacket. "Humor me."

Cas narrows his eyes, but still takes the jacket from Dean's hand and pulls it around himself before turning back to the plants. Dean leans against the deck railing no longer trying to speak and instead watches as Cas works his way from plant to plant, trimming leaves, and drizzling them with water. He can hear the distant sound of voices in the streets below, some kind of fight that could be just heard over the ambulance sirens from a few blocks away, both noises that occur far more frequently than Dean would ever like.

Maybe it wasn't a good time to buy an engagement ring, maybe they'd be better off saving to move to a different apartment. Somewhere nicer, where kids didn't walk in the middle of the streets because it was safer than walking near the alleyways, or near parks that weren't filled with used needles and other things that had Dean caring Jack rather then letting the child walk (though honestly Dean wasn't sure if Chicago had any parks not like that). Maybe they'd be better off buying light bulbs or saving for the over the top birthday Dean knew Cas wanted Jack to have.

Saving it would be the best choice, yet Dean couldn't bring himself to not picture the ring. To not imagine how Cas's eyes would light up as Dean opened the box, he'd say yes, Dean had never been so certain of anything in his life. Cas would say yes, and then they'd kiss, holding onto one another as if it was their last moments alive.

"Do you regret anything?" Dean suddenly says, his mind spinning with too many what ifs to stop himself.

Cas pauses for a second, before he continues inspecting the small tomato plant that had just begun to sprout. "No," Cas replies, his voice steady, though Dean can hear something else in it, hesitation, maybe worry, "do you?"

"No- yah- I mean, I don't know," Dean shoves his hands into his jeans pocket, trying to warm them from the numb feeling that had quickly begun to grow. The fighting down below had stopped though the ambulance's sirens continues to blare and for a moment Dean let's that fill the silence as he tries to sort his thoughts. "I think I'd've liked to try harder at school, maybe got a degree in mechanics, something that'd make us money." He pauses, looking down to his shoes, it's easier than looking at Cas as he admits his defeats. "We could have a nicer apartment."

"I like our apartment," Cas replies.

"The neighbors suck," Dean says, "We've got the Joker and Harley Quinn on one side and a fuckin' hooker on the other."

"Meg is a respectable woman."

A smile tugs at Dean's lips. "Yah well most apartments have nice chicks."

"Dean," at the sudden softness in Cas's voice, Dean looks up, his eyes meeting the other's. Cas places his watering can down and steps forward. "Are you alright?"

"Yah." Cas gives the smallest tilt of his head, a crease forming between his eyebrows as his gaze darts down Dean. Dean pushes himself from the railing and raises his arm, lacing his fingers with Cas's. "Really, angel," Dean continues, pulling Cas into his arms, "I'm fine."

Cas wraps his arms around Dean's neck, resting his chin against Dean's shoulder. Even with the help of his jacket Cas feels frozen as Dean wraps his arms around the other's waist, Dean's fingers grazing the frozen skin from under Cas's t-shirt. "Dean," Cas says, his voice louder in the suddenly silent night. "You are allowed to talk to me."

"I'm just thinkin'" Dean replies. He holds Cas closer to his chest hoping that it will keep the other warm, and rests his chin against Cas's shoulder. "Worryin' about Jack, money, the future, that kind've crap," Dean says. "Things are just goin' to get more expensive."

"I understand your concerns," Cas replies. Dean tilts his head as the other talks, pressing a kiss to Cas's neck, followed by a second, the kiss so soft and gentle Dean's lips just ghost the frozen skin. "But Jack will be starting school soon and when that happens I'll discuss working more hours with Crowley. We will figure it out."

"I'm worried about you," Dean whispers, something which was only half true.

He was worried with every beat of his heart that he could never give Cas what he deserved. That one day Cas would realize he deserved better and walk out. Dean wasn't worried about Cas, Cas could handle himself, he was worried the day Cas would realize he was worth more.

Dean was worried that one day he would be left with nothing but a broken heart for memories, and the feeling of sorrow to wash it out.

"Dean," Cas whispers, "there's no reason to worry about me." Dean presses another kiss to Cas's neck and slowly let's his fingers travel down the other's back, tracing the curve of Cas's spine. "Please don't worry about me." The thought of arguing crosses Dean's mind but instead of trying he buries his nose into the crook of Cas's neck as Cas's grip around him tightens.

It was moments like this that left Dean holding Cas closer, clinging onto every second as if it would be his last with the other. When they were alone in the dark, only lit by the decks faded orange light, and the world around them had gone silent as if to give them one moment alone. It was simple moments like this that left Dean out of breath, and at a complete loss of words, unable to describe just how in love he was with Castiel Novak.

Slowly, humming softly, Dean removes one hand from Cas's back and laces the fingers of his right hand with Cas's left. "Here comes the sun," Dean begins barely above a whisper, swaying softly, an action Cas mimics.

"And I say," Dean sings softly, "it's alright."

"Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter," Dean continues, his voice hanging through the silent night, only broken by their footsteps as they move across the deck. "Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here." Cas's lips press lightly to Dean's neck and he replies by giving Cas's hand a gentle squeeze, it's all he can manage. Any words would ruin the moment, nothing he could say would be as gentle as them swaying, sharing one another's warmth as the wind continues to blow.

"Here comes the sun, do, do, do. Here comes the sun, and I say," Dean sings, "it's alright."

They continue to dance as the song goes on, footsteps heavy, and their swaying half a beat off. Cas's fingers are still frozen against his, and Dean's own arms had long ago become numb, and yet it's perfect.

Dean wouldn't trade it for a second of perfection. The breathless feeling leaving him light, his heart pounding constantly in his chest yet always one beat not enough. It's impossible to breathe properly when all his senses are heightened on one thing.

Cas.

By the time the song comes to an end and their slow dance has stopped, Cas's eyes were on Dean's, the normally vivid blue casted in shadows by the deck's light. Cas's hand moves from where it rests on Dean's shoulder and to his cheek, the contact so light Cas's fingers barely grazes Dean's skin. "I love you," Dean whispers, because he isn't good with words, he never has been, and that's the only thing he can think of that can even remotely describe how he feels.

"I love you too," Cas replies. He leans forwards pressing his lips to Dean's for a slow kiss that has Dean's heart somewhere between racing and stopping, tearing all the air from his lungs. When they pull away, their lips still grazing, there's only one thing Dean's sure of; he's going to marry the love of his life.

[thats-a-real-mood]

1.)Supernatural cast interviews

2.)Supernatural 15x20 live blogging

Start here for #1

The road so far.. sad and so many memories

So far a giant recap with the actor past and present.

Wow Mary’s death

Dads on a hunting trip...and he hasn’t been home in a few days

So far 3 min and it’s one of the promos and the starting point.

The Winchester brothers

The Junkyard dog

Bobby was there dad in all but blood.

The brotherly love

So far I was correct about the first half was just a interviews things with the actors and not part of the actual episode.

I wish it really would have been a true 2 hour episode. They could have keep the interviews as an extra or as a 3rd hour.

Earth angels

Here is Anna

“You can have angels, just make them dicks.”

Monster moments

King of the Crosswords

“Making our enemy’s our friends”

“Crowleys the creepy uncle you avoid at thanksgiving.”

Angel in disguise

“He is the third brother.” -Jensen

“Finding love and acceptance in a human family” -Misha

The Power of Myth

Supermeta

Brought up French mistake

Changing channels

Scoobynatural

Heart & soul

Baby

Distinguished Guests

The Voice of God

SpellBound

The Greater Good

Rising son

Courage under Fire

Resurrection

Last supper

I fucking hate John Winchester

So far nothing about destiel has been mentions and this first part is almost over. So either they are gonna give us more in the actual episode or nothing.

Team Free Will

The Final episode

Misha hoping we feel satisfied with this episode.

“The people we really have to satisfy is us, the writers, and these characters.”

This makes me worried for our destiel finale

Everyone is making things feeling satisfing and making me feel guilty. If we don’t get the ending we want, they at least want to know how hard they worked but we still are very iffy with this.

2 mins this the episode.

Start here for #2 (episode time)

-Back of the car shot and the end shot of previous episodes. Love that.

-dean got a dog and has at least 5 bottles of alcohol in his room.

Sam have a run. Being domestic and stuff (trying to keep going with everything and not think about it?)

Sam kicking the washer for the noise

>okay so the montage was very domestic and nice but underwhelming tbh

Title card-

Okay driving up and dean crying. This is his “destiny.....”

Pie feast

He’s crying and Sam is sad at seeing a happy family.

Here’s the pie promo

Cas,Jack (first mention) chick flick moment

Sam puts pie in deans face and background guy laughs

Oh shit. Shadow in window. First five minutes of supernatural. Ooo nvm he dead

Face mask guys

Creepy mask dude

Kids gonna get pulled out from under the bed

Yep I was right

-singer and kripke were the alias’s

Tree scene

Vamp mimes... wow dean

Oh shit again

Damn dean just off with the head. No checking. And Sam just shot the dude. Knee and assuming the head.

Headshot so it is a vamp?

Wow I forgot how psychopathic these brothers are. Hunting knife or a head chop?

We are now at the barn.

Aw let dean have this throwing star

This does not look like the barn that cas come to in season 4

2 vs 4 they gonna lose. Wow there’s that promo shot.

>Almost twenty minutes in and only one mention of cas. We did have that blue tie of cas’s that dean wore but like? Does that actually count?

>This seems like it’s just gonna be another filler episode that supernatural does.

Kool machete fight

Wow a chick vamp?

Jenny? That “vamp” they saved? Gonna have to research her again? Wasn’t she the one that they tried to keep from vamping?

Shit I saw that stab thing being out of the wall and then dean got pushed onto it.

Dean is gonna die. Are you kidding me?! Your gonna leave Sam all alone after EVERY THING THEY JUST WENT THROUGH?!

Please don’t do this. No dean don’t.

>30 more minutes and ????

Saving people, hunting things

Please mention cas, please

Proud big brother Dean Winchester

Come on, dean. Aw man mentioning the Woman in White

He was so scared of being told to leave or die by Sam.

Man come on. Your pulling a jack now. First cas, then jack and now dean is gone.

Wow you get a great morning and then bam

He’s gone.

>No mention of cas? Thirty/twenty minutes left? How are they ending this?

>I don’t understand. They said there wasn’t gonna be any ambiguity about their love..? I’m Confused.

>did I miss something?

Sam is giving dean his hunter funeral with deans dog..

Wow this is so different compared to this earlier morning montage

The table shot with the carved names

Sam wandering to deans room..

Who is calling dean?

Agent bonjovie?

Oh another case.

Life goes on? He’s just gonna take the case? Werewolf?

>twenty minutes left and we just saw the lights go off in the bunker...

Okay wtf deans alive?

Heaven?

AHAHAHAHEKENE BOBBY!!!

Omfg jack saved Bobby?????

Akejeijwebwj this is what I wanted!! The hunters and eveyone dean loves being together in heaven. Ash and Pamela, the ROADHOUSE, cas??? What? How did cas help? What?

Almost perfect? Sam? Coming up here? To heaven? Cas? Whooo??

Everything u want or could ever dream? Find cas? Ride in baby?

>10 minutes

Carry on is playing

Sam had a child and named him dean..?

Who?

He got out of the life!

Sam with his child....

>You did Sam dirty making him look old like that. Wth kind of wig is that????

>Did they even bother with some makeup to make him look older? It’s literally Jared in a grey wig that remind me of spirit Halloween or Walmart Halloween wigs.

Sams child with the demon tattoo. Does his child know of monsters or just cause his dad has it did Sam do it as a precaution?

Wow

“Dean. It’s okay. You can go now”

“Dad. It’s okay. You can go now.”

Carry on my wayward son cover is beautiful

>come on please give us something of destiel? A bridge scene? A confession here? Please??

Sams in heaven now and literally cas and jack was only mentioned twice.

>extremely disappointed but not surprised tbh.

>the thank you at the end is nice.

>why was I expecting and hoping and wanting for this for so long and I’m honestly so tired that they couldn’t give us this small thing. This could have gone down in tv history if they have given a resiprical confession from dean but they just.... couldn’t.

So last episode: a good heaven for dean, with Sam got to love old and got o and named his child dean. aTLEAST IT WASNT CAS. Total of TWO mentions to Cas And jack.

[lexiconoffear]

Well, what do you know? A tragic glimpse to my right presents a view of a little stranger with a charm for whispering nonsense to the air. Fucking Harper Lee over there is writing shit all on her frosted green MacBook with the creativity of a blunt hacksaw. That she casually smiles with a hint of disdain towards those that give her the stern eye when she infrequently cowers behind Jane Austen books is nothing less than revolting. Why do I sound surprised to see these people at Verve? All of them with the usual brand of “I want to make it in Hollywood too”. Here’s a newsflash for you. Stop pretending that you like to read Lady Susan and Sanditon. Oh and Miss Fucking Perfect, we know you haven’t read any classics in your sunny shell of an existence. I would also like to add that drinking five cups of mint mocha and mumbling your shitty screenwriting lines is a non-starter with any professional worth a damn. It’s insulting that people like you think otherwise. But you like giving out shitty blowjobs to every one of your followers on Insta if it gets you some undivided attention. The nerve. For once, I would like to rip open her fucking head and look inside. But we all can’t take unnecessary risks. Can we Joe? Cut to our little hideaway in that golden Americana cul-de-sac. Repose feels great in the evening. Some might beg to differ. Now, it’s time for some pressing news. Shock. Horror. A domestic violence case in our own quaint suburbia. To say that I'm intrigued to see how you handle this crisis is a bit of an understatement. Typical. Color me fucking surprised. You try to console yourself with many crafted truths. A bad case of false reporting. Lack of circumstantial evidence. You even blame it on something out of your control. But I'm glad to hear that you’re slowly dying on the inside. The world can finally find comfort in knowing what a stand-up guy you are, Joe Goldberg. You want a do-over? Some respite from public heat? No bueno. Why will it be any different this time Joe? Do you honestly think that low of me? Every word you espoused was a lie. Like crimson etches that forever stains our vision of what’s real. Comeuppance is nothing but a decorum now. The viewers of the media and our community love to crucify every fucker that slowly chips away at the perfect household image. The perfect family. Our fucking so called perfect lives as couples that be. But that’s the least of your concerns. What you should worry about most is a woman who owns her narrative. Her story. Her triumphs. She doesn’t pretend to be some victim of circumstance. She is a fucking survivor. Fucking America loves this piece to death. People love it. They all can't get enough of that shit. As soon as it's served up, everyone eats it up like magic rice. You were too oblivious to see what is at stake here. Don’t give me that dirty look as if you're entitled to it. Really, it’s a fitting retribution. Any scorned lover would see this punishment as fit for the crime committed. Did you think for once that the cost to all the insanity you inflicted was justified? Has nothing sacred ever matter to the likes of you? You weren’t like this before we grew and settled. Those restless struggles. Endless disputes. Our relationship certainly wasn’t the easy paradise that we pictured in our minds. That much I can tell you. But it was worth fighting for. Nothing else meant more than the first word we chose to define our union. Don’t tell me it meant nothing the moment you pulled closer at a wedding and reassured me with vows that came to be. Don’t you dare lie to me and say that our love was an illusion that ended while we fucked each other in my third trimester. When you saw me for the first time at Anavrin, you witnessed that wonder. A one-of-a-kind love. That incited all this madness and ecstasy. I was the cool girl you envisioned in your hopeless dreams. That cool girl who did everything right. Who like every asshole envisions as the definitive girl they like to fuck and bring to their family home for Christmas. Manic pixie version. She is that fucking cool girl. The same girl with a mouth that is sure to win some prizes in any department. What a fucking joke. To think that I shaped myself to be the ultimate lover. Unmatched in both scale and vision. Did you think that my fucking name was a joke to you? Yes, that’s a rhetorical question by the way. One fucking word. Love. How the fuck did you fuck that up? My charming hardened New Yorker guy with a wounded soul. I remember when you were different. Smitten by a dumb joke about fucking fruit of all things. I saw that darkness in your eyes. A wit that followed with a charming presence. Can’t also deny you weren’t easy on the eyes either. This had to be it. The thing we both searched for our entire lives. Love. In Hollywood of all places. You were all in and nothing else mattered. I loved you unconditionally. Yeah, that’s a fucking cliché if I hear it again. We fucked each other, blew one another and rose in the morning like fucking squirrels on mescaline. Perhaps, that’s a little too intimate for the ears. Forgive me for not censoring shit that needs to be heard. So, how the hell did we end up here? Call me a little jaded now, if I don't look back at our history with rose-tinted glasses. I should have seen the signs. Yes, love can make us do terrible things and be blind to each other's faults. That's a fucking given. But I never thought I would lose trust in you. The one who finally brought a sense of ease to my heart. The same guy who later cheated on me and fucked a woman from behind. Our neighbor no less. On a day that very well should have marked the death of me. Just one glance and I saw the vision of our nuclear family undone. All you ever pursue is another work of project in sight. That’s how your fucking story always is. Just like Delilah. Just like Beck. Add that cutthroat bitch with a revenge agenda to the fucking equation too. You killed assholes. Left. Right. Center. Yet, you stand there and face me with a familiar look. A smugness that reeks of self-righteousness. That appearance of hypocrisy. The very look my mother gave me when I didn’t do my part in taking good care of Forty. The same look is all I see now. Disappointment. Disgust. Revulsion. Like a damaged commodity that you pass on when you’re done. You didn’t even have the balls to tell me what you really felt. It’s all a delusion that you hold to encourage that shitty desire of buying new merchandise with an exclusive item on the side that some cunt upsells you at Walmart. Forgiving the unforgivable is not in my fucking rule book. You think you can get away. Unscathed. Unfazed. Unhurt. No, you don’t. No fucking way Joe. Now, I know the truth. I wasn’t destiny. I wasn’t love. The worst part is that you made me believe in hope. Made me hold onto faith. Then, you reduced me to a foil in your self-absorbed romance story. But make no mistake, you will pay the price. Mark my fucking words. Don't think I won't make plans well ahead in advance to fuck you over. You will see what I'll bring to the table. I must thank you though. You brought something else out of me. Something I tried to hide for a very long time. All it took was a little nudge in the right direction. The follow up act was less painful. But you wouldn’t care, would you Joe? You never thought about family. The lengths that many would go to protect their kind. To spare them of any anguish. A quick head dash into a collective antique vase from Montalcino should do the trick. Maybe, a little cut on the arm with a help of a few broken shards. That will save myself from the shame. From the silent screams. The undying pain. Nothing compares to the deep cuts of the heart. All I see now is a vivid painting of torture. Filled with cinnabar streaks all over the Vermillion carpet that my late brother cherished. What a perfect expression of grief. The dull ache. The fading memories. The wild stench of blood. When your other half dies, nothing eclipses the misery of loss. That’s what I told myself. Family is everything. It always came first. Above all else. But when I fell in love again, my entire perspective changed. Until reality hit me in the face. Sheared off in patches and defiled like every other celebration past the fourth of July. Do you really think I wouldn’t see to it that justice will be sought for the unseen wounds, the unheard abuse, and the million masks people like you wear to fool their loved ones? Don’t kid yourself Joe. It’s time we put an end to this fantasy. One way or another.

Love Quinn (YOU)

[therainroguefanfiction]

༄ How To Save A Life… » original

Genre: Slice of Life, Angst

Word Count: 2,003

Pairing: None

World: Original

WARNING: This fic mentions anxiety, social anxiety, loneliness, self-harm and depression.

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It’s amazing, how such a simple gesture can mean so much to a person. They may not even realize the impact that they made, despite how big it may be. Human beings have the power to connect in a way that goes beyond any other species, but they don’t always choose to do so. With a simple act, a person can change another’s life, whether for good or bad. That kind of power is dangerous, so I suppose it’s a good thing that most human beings don’t realize they actually possess such a thing.

The more I think about it, the more it scares me. But I guess that doesn’t mean much, seeing how afraid I am of other humans in general. I really didn’t like other people, and I absolutely hate the way they make me feel when I’m around them. I go out of my way to avoid other people, and I make sure that I don’t get into any type of fights or altercations with others. I seem to have a skill, though, that makes people hate me with every fiber of their being. It’s been that way since I was a child.

Back then, I strived to get close to other people; all I wanted was a single person I could call a friend. It didn’t work out like I had hoped or like it always does on television. I didn’t fit in with any of the groups around me, even though I went out of my way to change myself to fit them. I did many things I shouldn’t have, that I still regret to this day, just to get them to like me, but they wouldn’t, they refused to accept me. They used me for what they could get, got a good laugh, and then dumped me to the side like roadkill.

It was frustrating, sure, but more than anything else, it just plain hurt. It wasn’t physical, so there was no amount of medicine that I could take that would cure the pain. I refused to do drugs and I refused to go out and get drunk just to forget. I suppose what I did choose to do was just as bad, though. Instead of drugs or alcohol, I turned to cutting. It terrified me every time I placed the smooth blade to my pale skin. Even though I was in so much pain, I didn’t want to die.

I was afraid to die.

I loved the world, I just hated the people in it.

Still, I slid the blade across my skin despite my fear. It was never deep enough to put me in harm’s way, which proves how much of a coward I really am – it’s pretty sad. It was no deeper than a cat scratch, but it still stung and throbbed, and little diamonds of blood covered it like a blanket. It was enough to make me feel better, for a few minutes, before I started to feel stupid for what I was doing to myself. That just made the situation worse.

I already hated myself for various reasons – fat, ugly, and above all else, unable to do anything right, just to name the main ones – and now I had cutting to add to my list. I was a despicable human being, I still am, but at least I can handle it a bit better now. I don’t cut anymore, though it does cross my mind occasionally.

Perhaps that’s a side effect of the crazy pills that I’m on now.

Though the pills do ease the fear of human beings, it can’t take it away. It’s still there, lingering just beneath the surface, waiting for me to feel safe and secure before it winds its black arms around me like death coming from the shadows. It grips my throat until I can’t breathe, and chains my heart so tight that it hurts every time it beats.

Sometimes I would envision myself in a barren wasteland, filled with nothing but rock formations that towered over me like skyscrapers. I could see chains binding my wrists to a metal plate in the ground, one that refused to budge so much as half an inch. The ground would crack beneath me, and lava would begin to seep through, but I couldn’t run away.

I could never run away.

I often wondered if someone could come to my rescue, to take me away, but I hated how that sounded. One thing I didn’t like – besides people -, was being a damsel in distress that needed a knight in shining armor to come to rescue her. Really, I’d be fine with just having someone that was a true friend, but after a while, I started to doubt the meaning of that word. I actually looked it up, and the definition only filled me with misery, knowing that I’d never have such a relationship.

Sure, there were people that tolerated me and my smart ass quips, like my co-workers, but something deep down told me they didn’t actually like me. I’m positive they only act nice because we have to see each other every week, and often are put together on projects. The day goes by in a painfully slow manner when you’re working with someone and there’s nothing but lightning between you – sadly, I know this because I just recently learned the true nature of my friend, who believes she’s done nothing wrong.

But I’m probably mostly to blame, anyway.

I guess I got a little off point, here, and for that, I apologize. I’m sure my ramblings mean nothing to you. So, let me spare you further hell, and begin telling you my boring, bang-your-head-against-a-brick-wall story.

Everything began when I was twenty-years-old, working at the local J.C. Penneys in the mall. It was my second job, and although my bosses were lenient and pleasant to be around – most of the time -, I still hated it. Not only because I was lazy, but because I hated having to deal with customers. Dealing with the people I worked with was one thing, but having the thought of being thrown onto the register with a customer was like staring my own death in the face.

Wait, I take that back. I’d rather stare death in the face than be on the register with customers.

Thankfully, this rat has learned to hide and run from customers – which would probably get me fired if anyone knew I did that since the company was one of those customer first types. That’s also why I do my very best to keep these thoughts tucked away from prying eyes. I mean, I hated being out there with people, but I needed the money. And in what other job would you be able to cower in an air-conditioned stock room by yourself, with no one to deal with but the massive racks of clothes that needed to be priced? It was heaven, really, but it didn’t happen very often.

I guess in a way I rely on my co-workers more than I should. With them around, I can roll the customer off onto them and get away scot-free. They don’t mind since they can actually handle having a simple conversation with other people.

It was the beginning of Spring, the beginning of April, and although it had been slightly chilly as of late, Florida was beginning to warm up. I didn’t mind the rare thirty-degree weather, it was the eighty-degree humidity covered weather that sent me to the floor panting and begging my family to move to Antarctica. I was very sensitive to heat, of any kind, which is another thing I can add to my pathetic list.

Nothing really special was happening in my life at the time, not like it ever did at any other time. I woke up last minute, rushed off to work, grit my teeth and tried not to harm myself just to be sent home, and when I finally would make it home, I’d flop in front of the computer where I stayed until it was time to go to bed.

See, rather than being one of those kids that goes out and parties the night away, having sex with every guy that smiles at her, I’ve always been the nerdy kid that sat at home, with no friends, playing video games and screwing around online. If anything, that’s the only thing I can say I like about myself. Of course, I probably would have done those things if I had actually had friends to coax me into them – I cave easily, remember?

That Monday, I expected the same routine.

I was only working six hours, so I just bit the inside of my cheek and decided to bare it, just like I did every other day that I worked at this godforsaken clothing store – I didn’t even like fashion, for fuck’s sake. That should be pretty obvious since I only ever come to work in t-shirts, jeans, and dirty sneakers that were falling apart – thank you, Walmart, for your wonderful quality in shoes.

I said goodbye to my mother, and promised to call her which I had no intention of doing – I mean, come on, I only get fifteen minutes, and I fully intend on spending those minutes trying to stay alive!

Since it was seven in the morning, and the store did not open until ten, I was forced to stand there looking like an idiot, pushing the little white button until my supervisor came power walking to the door with the keys. The older woman would smile and greet me with the typical good morning routine before telling me what I would be doing that day.

After her explanation, I’d take the elevator to the second floor – and god was it slow – before heading to the pricing office. Just like always, my team was already back there, scrambling around getting pricing books and sheets, picking out the cart they wanted, and trying to find a scanner that actually worked – those were few and far between, believe me.

The women would greet me, but it was nothing beyond a simple ‘good morning‘. Though I wanted to say something else, I never did, because I never knew what to say, and I knew I could never hold a conversation without doing something I’d regret. It was easier just to keep it short and simple. Seeing these women did make me feel a bit happy, even though we weren’t friends. I liked their presence, and they could be rather funny when they worked together.

Today we were looking for clearance in the Men’s department. Apparently, we had about fifty sheets of stuff to find, though I was sure we’d only be successful in about half the list, if that.

When nine-forty rolled around, I attended the meeting just so I could sit down for a few minutes, though nothing they discussed had anything to do with my team and, to be completely honest, I could care less about who got the most ICAPS, and who got the best reviews on the survey.

Good for them.

Give ’em a damn cookie and move on.

I took my time after the meeting ended because I decided to take my break now, so I could have fifteen more minutes without the threat of customers. I always did this when I worked six-hour days; it was starting to become a routine.

With those fifteen minutes, I spent them in the air-conditioned break room, in the back corner – or emo corner, as I’ve officially dubbed it -, trying to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for the horrible experience I was going to be throwing myself into it. It took a lot to calm myself down, but I managed it, just like always.

If only I had known how different that day was going to be.

If only I had known what was really going to happen to me that day.

I really should have stayed home.

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📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

[unimpressedperson]

ishin-denshin

(I found that picture in @seoulicons . Thank you for posting that)

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: I mentioned Expensive Girl and sex, so yeah, nothing here is pure. Also, there are mentions of self-harm, so please, if it’s triggering tell me and I’ll change it :) Your mental health should always come first :)

Pairing: Min Yoongi x @emerson-moonchild, Min Yoongi x Reader

Word Counting: 6.2k

Synopsis: Min Yoongi and Emerson had a profound connection, so deep and supernatural that not even themselves understood it. However, nothing is pure bliss and flowers, when everything seems wrong and the connecting fades with time, then their love shall be proven with no otherwise.

A/N: Hey Em!! It’s finally here! I finished your oneshot + poem. Yes!! I mentioned The Chaos Club and paired them with BTS, but tried not to focus on them. Even though it finished with over SIX THOUSAND WORDS, I had to stop myself and not include random and unnecessary stuff, like interactions between characters without the starring roles presence (Yoongi and Emerson). Oh, before I continue, I changed the band’s name, it’s shitty, but I even wrote one verse of ‘Clarividencia’ (the BTL song mentioned). Hope it’s good! You deserve the best Em, or should I begin calling you ‘cutie pie’? Lol Sorry for my bad grammar and hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing :)

- x - x - x -

Min Yoongi took a long sip on his coffee, dark and, ironically, sugar-free. He enjoyed small ironies and always drank from them, maybe it worked as fuel to his personality. Despite from the cute face and artistic name, Yoongi enjoyed how people were amazed about the personality flashed: rebel, serious, sarcastic, a human with a stone cold heart pumping blood and rage to his organs.

Well, that's how outsiders saw him, reality was insanely different. Emerson knew it, she dig down so deep in Yoongi's emotions, finding a butter heart with so much love stored. Whilst drinking tea from a ridiculously adorned cup, she analyzed his soft expressions and occasional wrinkling nose whenever the bitterness hit his taste buds.

– Tea is just leaf juice, you know, right? - Yoongi asked, not glaring straight at Emerson.

– So what? It's delicious. - Emerson answered, taking a long and loud sip from the salmon and cream coloured cup, raising her pinky. - Coffee is just juice from beans. Water is juice from ice cubes.

– You are so british sometimes. - The man said and turned to look at Emerson, grinning slightly at her cuteness and rosy cheeks.

– Well, my identity backs you up on that. I'm british, living in London, drinking tea in a british coffee shop, listening to british news on television, presented by a british journalist, graduated in a british university, working for a british television broadcast channel. You are the foreigner here, love. - She said serious, but smiling, fingers stuck around the cup, steam warming her face.

– I know. Everything is so british. Even our songs are getting british. - Yoongi said and finished his cup of coffee with a short sip. - Yesterday Taehyung sang with british accent, even the verses in korean. We were surprised and Namjoon almost collapsed cuz one of the words sounded like 'yadong', which is porn in korean.

– I'm surprised one of your songs never mentioned 'yadong', since it's a rock band with pretty explicit musics. - She giggled remembering the first time Yoongi allowed her to listen 'Expensive Girl', their first song that exploded in SoundCloud, and as soon as Bangtan Lads made a career outside Korea, the track was deleted, only officially existing in personal files from every member.

– Don't you throw 'Expensive Girl' at me, it was Jin and Namjoon's idea to release it. - Yoongi said and raised one of his eyebrows slightly.

They were sitting on a table close to the window, sun shining bright outside, breaking through the typical whitish smoke accumulated all over London's atmosphere. The cafè was one of those overrated places, charging abusive prices for a cup of plain coffee, walls painted in a very dirty shade of cream, matching the fancy cups (the owner would never admit it, but Emerson knew they were bought in Walmart, part of a special edition paying homage to Duke William and Duchess Kate wedding), wooden floor well polished, and secondhand machines.

– Why do we insist in coming here anyways? There is nothing special or marvelously tasty, and the prices are salty, even for my rich ass. - Yoongi said, listening the annoying creek sound from the old, and possibly thriftshopped, brown chair.

– Because it's small, quiet and mainly because your fans won't flash boobs outside the window, since they would never imagine rockstar Min Yoongi having a coffee with his girlfriend in a place like that. - Emerson said, staring the street along with Yoongi.

– Yeah, that day we went to Starbucks was insane. Who would imagine someone is actually willing to lift the blouse and get arrested in exchange of an autograph? - Yoongi said and chuckled.

– That day was intense and weird. Her boobs were beautiful, though. Round and symmetrical. Your face tattooed on the nipples also looked good. - Emerson said and smirked in a dorky way, leading Yoongi to chuckle even louder. - Who would ever guess that your nose has the exact shape of a nipple? The fan was a genius, we got to admit.

Yoongi left all the weight from his upper body heavy on the chair back, staring at the ceiling and inhaling deeply, exhaling and repeating. He swallowed a puddle of spit pooling on his tongue and looked back at Emerson, finishing her tea with a short sip and folding back the napkin.

– Fame is so good sometimes. Don't take me wrong, I love making music, being rich and travelling around the globe, but the occasional harassment bothers a lot. - Yoongi said tapping his fingers on the table.

Emerson reached his arm and caressed lightly the skin covered with a sweatshirt. Yoongi inclined to the side, laying his head on table, feeling his girlfriend's fingers petting his black hair. Sometimes words weren't required, silence had a lot to say, loud, actions could hold even more significance.

– I love you, cutie pie. - Yoongi mumbled, cheeks squeezed against the wood, but words still bright and clear.

– I love you too, Yoongles. - Emerson replied, still feeling his smooth wires against her skin. Soft touches coming from both sides.

Whoever saw Min Yoongi up spitting on a microphone, saying raw words about political struggles, sex, mental health, life and a few songs based on stories, possibly thought of him as a rough person. No one would ever imagine his soft side, everyone always glanced over and focused on Suga, not Yoongi. The opposition between personality shown and stage name enchanted and intrigued.

Yoongi only allowed a few people to witness his actual personality.

Opening up and letting someone unknown in his personal space, oh it always represented a problem to Yoongi. A lonely soul that hardly had friends, only close to a few people. Bangtan Lads represented friendship and family.

Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook, Seokjin, Jimin and Taehyung flew from Korea to England with him after achieving worldwide success, for the sake of their fame moving to a place rather connected to alternative rock sounded as a clever change. Seven korean boys, carrying a bag with worn-out clothes, instruments and golden discs. Simplicity and luxe. Millions of fans, artists and new faces, yet Yoongi only felt truly comfortable around his bandmates.

After a few months living in England, conceding daily interviews and working like horses in new musics, Yoongi decided to try and join a dating app. Hoseok met a few women through Tinder, but happily found Taylor, friends with benefits at first, but a few months later his girlfriend. Witnessing one of the lads glad in a relationship inspired Yoongi, he even paid for Tinder Gold, regretting immensely after two dates and realizing sex could be good, but lacked connections. He needed to connect with that person, deeply to a point where her heartbeat felt like music.

Lonely and slowly giving up, Yoongi felt his heart flutter when Emerson appeared like a butterfly on his eventful yet boring life. Emerson emerged from a calm life working as music critic for Rolling Stones, to the love of Yoongi’s life and his main inspiration.

Everything began when Emerson went to work and received the task of interviewing a korean band. Apparently someone was sick and everyone else had more important stuff to do. She accepted and decided to use the original agenda, adding a few questions and studying every member.

Those who believe would say it was love at first sight, a connection between souls. Not even a word flew across the room, but Yoongi felt butterflies on his stomach and heart beating faster. For a single moment, he even considered the idea of end having a heart attack, because in years no one ever made him feel like that. Emerson lost words and suddenly, there were only Emerson and Yoongi in a room, not the whole Bangtan Lads.

That same day they had dinner together. Chatted, danced and traded cellphone numbers. Instead of going back to his place, Emerson took him to her home and they watched a movie.

For the first time in a almost a whole year living in England, Min Yoongi felt a connection.

- x - x - x -

– I swear that Zeus’s nutsack is the best position ever. - Namjoon said and threw the notebook in Jungkook’s direction, watching him grab it and read all lyrics written down.

– And why should we sing about that? - Seokjin asked raising one eyebrow, expression deadly serious, grabbing his can of Coca-Cola and sipping from the white straw. - I love doggy style, but would never write a whole goddamn song about it.

– I agree with Jin, the world doesn’t need to know what you and Bárbara are up to. I never wanted to know. - Taehyung said and nodded in Jin’s direction, whilst curling a lock of brown hair on his fingertip. - Honestly, I think you need vacations, your ideas are getting cornier, hornier and grossier.

– Let the man live, you guys! - Hoseok said and took the notebook off Jungkook’s hand, being punched in return. - I don’t even know how the fuck is Zeus’s Nutsack, but if our smartpants wants to write about his experience, allow him to do so. - He gazed down at the lyrics on his hands and chuckled. - Sorry Joon, but this time I’m with Tae and Jin, I won’t sing it.

– Please guys! We are an alternative rock band who has three songs about sex, we need something to bring sexy back during the concerts or fans will feel bored. It’s been two tours since Jimin showed his abs during ‘Clarividencia’ for the last time. People are commenting on Twitter. - Namjoon said and pouted.

– Let’s vote. It’s a democracy, isn’t it? - Yoongi asked, emerging from his big and fluff chair and bending down, his upper body supported by the elbows firmly planted on his skinny thighs. - I vote to burn that shit and never mention it again.

Everyone in the studio laughed, except for Namjoon, he shrunk on his spot and turned the page, sketching and randomly drawing circles, looking for inspiration in something other than intercourse. Yoongi watched everyone leave the studio and sat beside him.

– Remember when we first recorded a full-length album and korean managers wanted us to become a pop? They saw potential in every single one of us, but wanted a profitable artist. - Yoongi laid his head on Namjoon's shoulder. - Thankfully we took our content and moved to an indie recording studio. Can you possibly imagine us as Bangtan Sonyeondan? BTS not BTL? We discussed the idea, and the first sketch of success wasn't the right one. Maybe that song is like BTS, a bit more of thought and time may turn it into BTL.

– Are you saying that I should focus less on the movements itself? The song is pretty explicit, so should I use better metaphors? - Namjoon asked, still not looking at Yoongi, but the older man saw a sparkle run through his eyes, like a lightbulb shining with new ideas flowing through his synapses.

– We can work on it later, right now I want to prepare a surprise to Emerson. Can you believe we've been together for 5 years already?

– Yeah, half a decade. - Namjoon said, sighing deeply. - What do you have in mind?

– I'm gonna propose. - Yoongi smiled, a gummy grin with feelings running off the edge. - I've been planning it for two years now. When we completed our third anniversary, Emerson wrote a post on her personal Tumblr about our relationship, mentioning a few situations and funny moments from day to day. That same day I wanted to make a song, but it's easy, within hours I could finish a masterpiece and the effort would be almost none, so I decided to step up my game a little and began writing a book. Poems about her, our partnership, my feelings, everything.

– It's really thoughtful of you, Yoongs. - Namjoon wrote a few random lines on his notebook and turned to look at his friend. - And some folks still dare to claim you are not a romantic guy.

In fact, not even Yoongi saw himself as someone surfing on romance, usually writing about politics and books. Focusing in feelings and matters related to relationship never appealed. He became responsible for most tracks talking about issues of immigrating from Korea to England, emphasizing that fame changed how they saw him, but xenephobia still existed. Bangtan Lads received a Grammy Nomination for ‘Golden Borders’, a whole album shoving in people’s ears how shittily they treated immigrants, but still wished from heart to live in USA.

Using ‘Golden Borders’ as the soundtrack, Emerson made researches and released a documentary about immigrants, showing the ridiculous racism and highlighting double-standards in how right-wing parties treated foreigners victims of war and those just running from economic crisis, but still wealthy. She also reported how politicians like Donald Trump vertiginously changed the meaning of “immigrants”, not differing someone legal from the illegals.

Yoongi was possibly the proudest boyfriend ever accompaining his significant other during the premiere of ‘Invisible: The Truth on Immigrating’. Emerson invited a few famous people who immigrated from their home-countries, along with “common” folks.

Maybe he wasn’t the most romantic boyfriend ever, but still knew how to encourage Emerson. During their relationship, Yoongi convinced her of writing two books, one script for a movie, produce two documentaries and demand her own column on Rolling Stones site. Whilst she inspired and gave ideas to two albums which earned them four Grammy Awards, abetted him into trying something solo, and produce for different artists aside from BTL.

Even though both of them worked massively with media, Emerson and Yoongi never thought about conceding interviews as a couple. Daily invitations for appearances in shows together popped up on their e-mails, but without discussing it they already knew the answer: No.

When asked the reason, Emerson and Yoongi agreed to keep their personal life, well, private. They already shared a few cute moments on Instagram and Tumblr. Why would someone want to dig more into the relationship? Snooping isn't good.

- x - x - x -

– In conclusion. Communism wasn't planned for over populated countries, or planets. - Jade said and chopped in two the turkey sandwich she was holding, taking a bite from one half of it.

Emerson shrugged her shoulders and nodded, agreeing with Jade. Accompanied by Shmailah and Zariah, they were waiting for the reunion with some other journalists from Rolling Stones. The weekly meeting for coming up with ideas to articles, reportages and new ideas for photoshoots to use in scheduled interviews, was about to happen, but only a few professionals were already there.

Usually, the boss bought some goodies to complement and cheer every meeting, but that day in question had food and sandwiches provided by a new diner across the street. They were lolling on burgers, sandwiches and chips, also milkshakes and cherry fizzy drinks.

– My article about nigerian culinary is going smooth. - Zariah said and took a sip from the vanilla milkshake in front of her. - That restaurant I contacted to ask for primary informations, the old lady sent me fried yams. I’m totally sending her a Christmas card and gift, and candy canes for her grandchildren.

– Great! It's so nice when someone values our work and spoils us with small, yet adorable gifts. - Emerson said and dipped one chip in the ketchup sauce. She was sitting curled up, knees touching her chest, not very excited. - By the way, mine about Bollywood is almost done, but I need some new informations. Can you help me, Shims?

– It's not right to assume I know a lot about Bollywood, only based on my bangladeshi heritage… But yes I’m a fucking Bollywood nerd and would love to help. - Shmailah grinned perversely, caressing Emerson's cheek with love, noticing that she seemed a little down lately. - What's up, Em? You don't seem very happy, not even surrounded by your best friends and a whole lot of free junk food.

The parallel conversation between Zariah and Jade quit, suddenly all three pairs of eyes were gazing at Emerson, who felt her cheeks getting warmer. She took another chip and started talking, whilst shaking the potato around, like a wand, before taking a bite and continuing.

– I don't think Yoongi loves me anymore. - She sniffed, swallowing the growing knot in her throat with chips. - We've been together for five years now, but in the last few months he's been a little distant. I know, I know, Yoongi sometimes loses himself inside his own brain, but not distant like that. Far, you know? We used to be so connected, now that connection seems a little faded.

– Oh Emerson. I don't see that happening, ever. - Jade said, bending over the table to grab her fries-less hand. - Yoongi seems so passionate about you. Whenever we go out in group, he only has eyes for you. Like, when Yoongi notices you barely had the opportunity to speak, he always tries to bring you into the conversation. Jimin already witnessed your boyfriend getting distracted and spend several minutes staring at his lockscreen, which is you.

– Totally agree with Jade. Not even dead Yoongi would stop loving you, he would probably find his way back into our spiritual plan only to make sure you are aware of his love. - Shmailah said, watching a shy tear run down Emerson's rosy cheek

– It's so complicated. In the past two months he spent days without showing up at our place, and not caring to tell where he is. Whenever he is around though, the office's chair receives most attention, since Yoongi locks himself there and if I try to get in, he scouts me outside saying it's something related to work. - Emerson tried to swallow the knot again, but now not even milkshake worked, and she sobbed. - Why couldn't I see if it is about work? When he was recording and producing his solo mixtape, I slept on the studio's couch for four days straight, trying to support him. I'd never do anything to ruin whatever he has been working on. We had coffee today at a cafè, but the experience felt so shallow. Small, verging insignificant, talk.

– I’m so sorry to hear that, baby. What if he’s been working in something for you? Like a gift and doesn’t want you to see and spoil the surprise? - Jade asked, raising one eyebrow. - You shouldn’t conclude always the worse, sometimes it is just something you can’t put immediately put together. Consider it and give time to time.

The conversation silenced in the moment everyone else invited to the meeting showed up. Seven other journalists gathered, including the boss, whose appeared holding another tray full of cookies and cupcakes.

– For what it seems like, that diner also has bakery goodies. - Jackie, also know as The Boss, said pushing the tray up on table. - I love so fucking much my job. Whoever don’t can totally stand up and leave, more cupcakes and chips for me, há!

- x - x - x -

Emerson had no time to think about her situation with Yoongi during the afternoon. Work consumed every disposable piece of brain cell, fulfulling a whole week of articles for her column and completing one reportage about self-made millionaires.

However, after leaving the building and heading home, the empty apartment made her shatter out and cry, sobbing and feeling a sudden urge to destroy something. Not only a random object like a glass cup, but something stiffier and harder to fix, like herself. In years working, dating Yoongi and being friends with so many great people, she never felt that need again, honestly, considering the idea of hurting her own body sounded weirdly appealing, after so much improvement, going back felt like a failure.

Maybe the past years left her brain so occupied with every new information, that negative thoughts had no actual space, a little tab in the corner that was muted by Yoongi’s voice. Now, without his presence and strong connection, Emerson silenced all other tabs, only listening to the one where haters were loud, depression and self-harm spoke freely.

Years of self-improvement faded within a pinch, a thin drop of blood coming from her thigh stained the beige pants, and Emerson left the small, yet painful, piece of skin go from between her long nails.

Weak and sobbing, she reunited all forces and stood up from the front door, walking slowly in bedroom’s direction, wishing only to lay down, curl up inbetween the duvets and sleep, ignoring any bad temptations, observing them disappear along with conscience.

Old monsters, some she saw as teenage ghosts, showed up. Emerson felt stupid for harming herself over such a small reason. Independent woman, smart, successful, amazing close friends, and yet the major breakdown in years was happening because of a man. What kind of mean joke could that be?

She wished so hard to pull herself together again, living happily and not getting to precipitated conclusions over small situations. That's it, maybe she was only overreacting. What if she is not? What if the connection between them is, indeed, fading? What if? What? What?

What was their mistake?

What was her mistake?

Was there a mistake?

Cruel trick her own brain was playing. Blackjack with sanity. Poker with happiness. What did she had to bet? Of course, Emerson conquered a lot in years, how much of that could she lose? Golden Globe? Literature prizes? All had her name embedded in wood. Friendships? Weekly night-outs proved that their bond didn't change within years. Why then only Yoongi seemed to slip through her fingers? The only thing she would miss the most, fading like smoke on the water.

Sometimes, the smartest, strongest, toughest people can go through menaces with delight and peace. Though, their inner monsters exist, and can seem small for whoever witnesses from outside, but a spider is a huge matter to a fly. Struggles and fears, perspective changes them.

Judging someone's feelings and fright isn't up to us.

- x - x - x -

That night Yoongi meant to crash down at the studio, but Namjoon showed up close to midnight, accompanied by his girlfriend, a small and chubby woman with wild brown hair, and also followed by Jimin and Jade, Jin and DiLayla. Their Instagram revealed that everyone had dinner, sponsored by a fancy restaurant trading food for audience.

– Why is everyone here grating me with the grace of your presence? Is there a party happening in my studio and I'm not invited? - Yoongi asked sarcastically, saving the new poem written before anyone could ruin it.

– Cut it out, Yoongi. - Jade said taking her thick beige coat off, leaving it on the black couch. - Don't you think you've been spending way too much time working? Stuck in your office or studio?

Her tone seemed mysterious, as if she meant something more than what was actually voiced. Yoongi felt intrigued watching everyone getting comfortable. Were they intervening?

– What is that? An intervention? I don't do drugs. - Yoongi joked, only him laughing, everyone else seemed morosed.

– See Yoongs, we were having dinner and suddenly Emerson became a subject of discussion. - Jin spoke trying to look chill, but very tense. - Jade mentioned that Emerson has been feeling a bit… Ignored lately. Bárbara and DiLayla agreed...

– Let me speak, love. - DiLayla touched Jin's shoulder and stood up. - Emerson mentioned to us that you’ve been working way too much, even at home, and she thinks you don't love her anymore. Basically, she feels like your connection is slowly vanishing.

– Namjoon told us what you've been planning for proposing to her, and honestly, I will take note and use a few of your ideas someday. - Jimin gave a side grin to Jade, watching how she blushed and continued. - But maybe, just maybe, you focused so much on something to her, that kind of forgot her? Not literally, we know you love Emerson with every beat of your heart, your maeum [마음, something like feelings], but you know, you can't starve a man before feeding him…

– What? Emerson is feeling neglected? - Yoongi asked, chocked and feeling his heart breaking.

Yoongi turned the chair around when tears verged to fall, not wanting to face his friends whilst crying. Jin, Jimin and Namjoon only saw him emotionally shattered in two situations. Feeling raw and vulnerable always made him uncomfortable, mainly being stared by people he had no intimacy, like his friends’s girlfriends, they were cool, but not close enough to watch him with guards down.

The young man hated this aspect of him. He despised how inadvertently his mind let things pass without noticing, facts around that could vastly affect his life, personal or professional. Having Emerson always picking up on him about unhealthy habits made it easier to don't die after spending three days living off hard liquor and olives, and overworking.

He wasn't someone mindless, or easily distracted, but Emerson helped him to focus in more than one thing at once, like working, but still resting enough, or channeling the best from every situation. Hiding something from her, avoided the warnings. Without realizing, Yoongi evicted his girlfriend from working aspects of him.

Maybe Jimin was right. He focused so much in doing something for Emerson, that he forgot to live with Emerson.

Goddamn it, Yoongi!

Namjoon looked around and politely asked everyone to leave the studio for a moment. He pulled a chair and sat beside Yoongi, caressing his trembling shoulder.

– I don't think I ever saw you crying over something so simple to solve. - Namjoon whispered, still petting his friend's shoulder. - You know nothing is lost and what to do is actually easy. The solution may ruin a huge surprise, but it is going to soothe a small injure caused by itself.

– What if Emerson has been considering to break up? Oh fuck, Joon! What if I ruined it all? - Yoongi used his sleeves to dry off his tears. - What if everything is so lost that not even all poems I wrote could fix it?

– See, a few weeks ago me and Barbs were talking about couples that gathered together along the past years. - Namjoon said and stopped caressing Yoongi's shoulder. - First, Hoseok and Taylor, then you and Emerson, Jade and Jimin, Di and Jin, me and her, Zariah and Jungkook, and Shims with Tae. I think we created an equilibrium in universe. Everyone is such a great and right match that if at some point one these couples break up, a new Big Bang would happen, cuz the mutual decision could ruin the universal balance.

“I'm not being far-fetched, I swear in the name of Stephen Hawking. - Namjoon spoke and made a cross in his chest. - Sometimes a long-term relationship can go through challenges. Two different people sharing a life of experience cannot live without occasional fights, bickering or arguing. We are human, even the most rational ones can be stubborn. All you have to do is insist. Although, it seems like Emerson loves you as much as you love her, so the only struggle here is distance.”

– You are right, but I’m still feeling like a sucker. - Yoongi snuffled, cleaning the coryza from his runny nose. - But as Emerson already told me, I should learn from my mistakes, then use it on an inspirational song, making my fans wander on what actually gave me the idea to it. - He grinned passionately and turned his cellphone screen on, staring at the lockscreen: a stunning picture of Emerson in Japan, smiling, using a flower crown and surrounded by cherry blossoms. - I love her so much.

Next thing processed by cameras around the building was a very hurry Yoongi grabbing his stuff, leaving a group of friends behind. A determined face, quick steps and then driving fast through the parking lot, tyres screaming like Robert Plant in the beginning of ‘Immigration Song’.

- x - x - x -

Emerson woke up in a startle after hearing the front door banging loudly. Still sleepy, she had no energy to stand up and check what was happening. Sleep whilst crying is exhausting, you wake up psychologically weary. After a few minutes and heavy steps, she heard someone calling her name, more specifically, Yoongi calling chanting her name.

She stood up, bringing one of the duvets along, and walked to the room, where Yoongi was crouched down, sitting on his calfs, typing something on the laptop he settled on the coffee table. When the man side glanced Emerson, he got up on his feet and hugged her, feeling his heart shatter with the small, yet present, dot of blood staining her beige pants.

– I’m so sorry. Forgive me, please… - Yoongi whispered, trying not to cry again, not before actually accomplishing his new goal for the night. Also, his mind was worried about the blood on her leg. - Did you hurt yourself, baby? Oh fuck, did you?

– Why? What did you do? - Emerson questioned feeling his arms around her, resisting before letting the duvet down and hugging him back. - I pinched myself a little too hard, but I swear it wasn't serious. Sorry...

– I was distant and absent from your life, and now you are convinced I don’t love you anymore. - He swallowed the knot on his throat, still trying not to cry. - It’s so dumb, because the only thing I love more than you is my music, but you are the inspiration for my work, so you are my music… And I made you hurt yourself.

– No, please Yoongles, it was a small relapse. Not worth of a fuzz. It won't happen again. - She felt his uneven heart beat against her ear, touching his chest. - Who told you that? Who told you how I was feeling? - Her arms quit hugging him, a tension running through both bodies.

– I don’t know, today I was finishing a project for you in my studio and Namjoon, Jin and Jimin showed up, they were accompained by their girlfriends. They told me how you were feeling and made me realize how far I’ve been, and how cold I acted earlier. - He seemed uncomfortable revealing his sources of information, but the truth would end up appearing anyways.

– Wait a second… - Emerson dried the single tear left running down her cheek and stared Yoongi. - Have you been working in something for me? Like, a surprise? A gift?

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders and nodded. His mind was hazy and the urge to just kneel and propose to Emerson without previous background was slowly taking over his guts. He couldn’t predict her reaction, since every brain cell were occupied on finding the right words. Fortunately, the woman grinned shyly and blushed, gazing down on the laptop.

They sat down in front of the open laptop, his arms around her shoulders. Yoongi sighed and pressed the ‘enter’ key, watching Power Point opening and a clear book cover appeared, mint coloured like his hair.

The book Yoongi worked for two years was almost ready. Whilst looking for good names and aesthetics a japanese word loomed from his pre-teenage memories: ishin-denshin (以心伝心) and his book title fitted like a glove. A compilation of poems and the last one, in Yoongi’s humble oppinion, the most majestic one was named after the piece itself. He planned on proposing whilst reading to Emerson.

– You asked me nothing, but I feel the need to explain what’s in front of you. - Yoongi cleared his throat, watching Emerson’s eyes scanning the screen. - My gift for our fifth anniversary was a book. I’ve been planning it for two years now, and in the last two or three months I reached the final details, which were cover and last poem. I never allowed you to see it, because I wanted it to be a surprise. I guess old habits never die, because during the time spent working on that book, I isolated myself from you and gave a wrong impression. Sorry.

– It's so beautiful, even though I don't even know what the title means. - Emerson said and sobbed, smiling through tears. - If the whole book is in japanese, then it would be good if you taught me how to read.

– Oh, cutie pie. I love you so much. - Yoongi snorted and kissed the top of Emerson's head, whose felt so loved, more than she felt in months. - It's, indeed, in japanese. Ishin-denshin, it's a kind of interpersonal communication, unspoken, but the understanding is still mutual. Something like, heart transmits what mind thinks. That word was a trend back in my pre-teenage years, never thought I would use it.

Emerson turned to look Yoongi. His eyes were watering, but no tears falling. She smiled, happily and kissed him. In months, they kissed plenty of times, but none of them had the same meaning as this one. It wasn't sexy or teasingly, if we are going to be honest, the kiss was salty with tears and, well, coryza. Emerson and Yoongi were slowly reconnecting.

The kiss stopped when their lungs claimed for air. After a few smooches, they got back to stare the screen.

– I love you so much, Yoongles. - Emerson felt a magnetic force making her back look for support on his chest, diminishing the space between them. - I know it's dumb, but I firmly believe we are soulmates, there is a supernatural connection between us, and considering the idea of losing you… it made me so desperate and sad. I know I would keep living, but my soul would never feel completed again.

– I know baby, I feel the same way, but instead of voicing my feelings, why don't you read a few poems I wrote? -Yoongi leaned and wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders again, smiling passionately whilst seeing skinny knees touching the chest, covered by a fluff light pink sweatshirt with ‘Treat People With Kindness’ written in a plain white font. He remembered the day they bought the piece of clothing after a Harry Styles concert in London. What a fun night, hanging around with him after the event. As Yoongi said earlier, being famous has its perks.

Emerson felt immersed in deep feelings, some of them not even voiced during their relationship. Yoongi wrote small poems about every aspect of her: from her cute moles, to how he loved petting her hair before sleeping, or how her voice was sweet like honey and face cute as a mochi. Everything, he wrote inspired by moments they shared, like the trip to Japan during spring, or New Year’s Eve in China. The first time Emerson tried kim chi and how her nose puckered when the spicy taste finally hit her taste buds. When she first attended to Bangtan Lads concert and fanchanted along with ARMYs, taking a few of them to backstage. Travelling to Brazil and messaging Bárbara instead of using Google Translator.

They lived so many precious moments together. Yoongi made sure over 100 of them became art through emotional poems.

The last one, named ‘Ishin-denshin’. She took a deep breathe, still sobbing with happy tears running down her face. The silence only broken by occasional snorts and chuckles. However, Yoongi was getting more tense, staring at her eyes.

Ishin-denshin

Once upon a time in the far land of England

A woman gave birth to love impersonated in flesh, blood and gold

No one knew how important she was and how lucky they were

Until chaos from Korea arrived and trapped her in maeum.

Connections can cross the border of space and time

Voices and signs

Touches and sights

You and me, hands holding tight.

Love is a matter of ishi-denshin

Ability to communicate from mind to heart

Open up on a gaze

Not a sound to be heard from mouth.

Thankfully chaos and peace mingle and complete each other

Yin and Yang united by their differences

Perfecting what was already sculpted with dust and water

Remodeling and always improving, resulting in brand new peculiarities.

Love and connections are the result of fighting

Nothing good comes easy

Nothing easy is good

Once you find balance, universe rewards you with love.

Continents separated us for most part of our days on earth

Wandering uneven, looking for the half that best fit our soul

Happily odds were and allowed what resulted in balance

Only imagining myself without you, even my brain in plain conscience feels afoul.

Don’t you dare saying you are not good enough

Cutie pie, you are unique like flakes of snow

Every drop has its own shape

Unique, you never see two looking the same.

My heartbeat is in sync with yours

Slow like when we sleep

Or when we kiss after a long period apart, tumbling in ribcage, rhythm vigorous

I thank everyday for finding my soulmate in a sweetheart like you.

Stay for as long as you want

I feel lucky only by having in my life as a constant

Luckily it won’t change much

When I finally make you a Min like me, everything mine will be ours.

When Emerson finished reading ‘Ishin-denshin’, Yoongi didn’t quite gave her time to think broader and stood up, pulling the woman together. Standing side by side, he kneeled in front of Emerson and proclaimed, among tears and sobs, holding one hand whilst looking for something in his back pocket.

– Emerson, after all those words you’ve read, would you give me the honour of becoming my Mrs.Min?

– The only possible answer is yes.

- x - x - x -

P:S I purple you <3

[junker-town]

The rise and collapse of a scalper’s sports card empire

Bribes, parking lot deals, and the cards you never had a chance to buy.

Warning: The following story contains strong language.

Tyrone sits in the middle of his three monitor setup like the cockpit of a fighter jet, one hand grasping a cup of coffee, the other his vape, alternating between stimulants and watching a scramble over spots in his newest break. “This shit’s been up 40 minutes and we only got two slots left,” he yells to his two business partners, pulling cards for their latest singles orders.

“Tyrone,” who asked not to go by his real name to keep his anonymity, elevated his hobby for collecting cards into a business three years ago, and turned it into an empire. Now he’s coming face-to-face with it all collapsing. “I knew we didn’t have forever on this,” he says, “I just figured it’d be the feds shutting it down, not some dumbasses at Target.”

May 14th was the end of an era for Tyrone. Target made the announcement they would no longer sell NBA, NFL, MLB or Pokemon cards following an incident outside a Wisconsin store in which a customer pulled a gun on another who’d just purchased cards. Signs, now posted all over stores in the country, read “To ensure the safety of our guests and team members, effective May 14th, MLB, NFL, NBA and Pokemon cards will no longer be sold in stores until further notice.” Walmart has not made an official announcement at this time, though there’s increasing speculation that they too will pull cards from shelves.

“That shit had me f***** up,” Tyrone says, shaking his head. “I dunno how it’s been working up north, but ain’t nobody in my area getting good shit from Target anyway.”

Tyrone began turning his hobby into a business like anyone else trying to get cards. He arrived at stores early on Friday morning, learning that cards weren’t stocked by Target and Walmart employees, but rather independent merchandisers who would enter the store on distributors’ behalf, and place items on the shelves. Tyrone would wait until the merchandisers arrived to put out the new cards, then pounce on them, buying out the store and immediately flipping them on eBay. It was a weekly ritual. Hit a store, move to the next, do the same.

“I’d spend HOURS in the car each week,” he laughed, remembering his beginnings. Tyrone quickly realized there was too much inconsistency. Sometimes he’d miss the merchandiser, or they’d go to another store first and throw off his route. Random shoppers would buy a fat pack (a wrapped package of multiple packs) as their nostalgia kicked in, having no idea what they were buying. This made his stock unreliable.

“It got exhausting, and frustrating as shit got bigger. That’s when I got smart about it.”

I know Luka and Ja, not Squirtle and shit.

After months of shadowing deliveries and driving around, Tyrone approached one of the merchandisers in a Walmart parking lot, and befriended them. He needed as much product as he could get his hands on, they needed to do their job. “I made it work for both of us.”

At the time the only thing really popping was basketball cards, particularly the highly sought after Panini Prizm series. If you went to Target or Walmart hoping to find Prizm basketball only to find it out of stock, there’s a good chance Tyrone had it, and you never had a chance of buying it.

“It was so easy back then,” he says. “They’d come in, put the shit on the shelves, snap a photo with their phone to show they did their job — then immediately pull it back down and buy it.” To the distributors, Tyrone’s merchandisers were doing their jobs, to the public they just thought they were too late and missed out on the cards. No one was the wiser, except for the merchandisers and Tyrone.

“I’d meet them at the end out their route, give them a stack — normally double what they paid, and everyone was happy.” As far as he sees it, Tyrone thinks the merchandisers got the better end of the deal. They just needed to meet him and make some quick money, he had to do the leg work to move the cards on the back end, but with prices skyrocketing it was worth it.

It wasn’t long before demand outstripped Tyrone’s supply, even having most of an east coast state in his pocket. He needed to expand, and began hitting up friends and family members in other states, bringing them into the fold. Before long he had numerous states, stretching from the east coast as far Texas in his network. Everyone giving kickbacks to merchandisers, sending the product to him, and profiting as he became able to sell product online for four times their value, sometimes even more.

“I was making less, because everyone needed a cut — but who cares. I was clearing $10k a month easy.”

Flipping fat packs and sealed product was nice, but the real money came in when Tyrone started getting his hands on hobby boxes. Larger, 12 pack boxes which brought more money, and more opportunity. “I can make stupid money on a case break, you don’t even know.”

A box, or case break, is a multi-participant venture in which a large number of people essentially gamble by buying pseudo-shares in a mass opening. Let’s say someone has a case of Prizm, you might pay $500 to get randomly assigned a team, then get every card from that team opened in a case.

For the individuals participating, it was a potential gold mine. Lucking out and getting the Pelicans could mean landing a five figure Zion Williamson card, at the expense of someone who got assigned the Hawks, and coming away with nothing. Trae Young isn’t worth big money, so Atlanta is seen as a dud slot. For people like Tyrone, selling the slots represents no risk — and all upside.

“Let’s say I’m paying three grand a case. I’m turning around and making five times that it in a break.”

With everyone desperate to open product hoping of landing a chase card, Tyrone was just in it for economics. “I’ll leave the gambling to the gamblers,” he says, “sure I’ll open something now and then for fun, but nah, moving sealed is where it’s at.” Soon, not even his vast network was enough to keep him in the cards he needed.

The fever spread from basketball into everything else. First football, then baseball, and finally Pokemon. “Pokemon makes me too nervous man,” Tyrone says to a friend who suggests they start buying it up, “we don’t know shit about those. I mean, can we break it? I don’t know. I know Luka and Ja, not Squirtle and shit. I’ll stick to what I know.”

“You have no idea how dirty this all is.”

As far as Tyrone saw it, he was providing a service. It had become impossible for anyone to get sealed product without spending thousands on boxes, and he felt that private card shops were cracking everything they were getting and selling singles online. Even then, he felt a little bad about what he was doing. “It sucks man, like I remember collecting cards as a kid,” Tyrone tells me, “none of these kids have a chance at buying packs. It’s all being eaten up.” As far as he was concerned, if Tyrone wasn’t scalping cards, someone else would — so why not him?

A large impact on the card market came not from flippers like Tyrone, but from Wall Street. During the economic downturn caused by the Covid pandemic, an increasing number of investment bankers were looking to diversify their portfolios with collectibles, and basketball cards were at the top of the list. Grading services like PSA and Beckett, once tapped only by enthusiasts trying to secure their most valuable cards, were now being flooded with requests to grade from big-dollar firms, aiming to solidify their investments.

“You have no idea how dirty this all is,” a lanky man named “Tom” calls from the back room as he assembles as eBay order. “I know this goes all the way through the system. I know Wall Street is talking to Panini and they’re engineering all this. Shit, I think ESPN is in Panini’s pocket too, pushing these players they know are signing.”

“Man, you’re tripping,” Tyrone says, rolling his eyes, not buying Tom’s conspiracy theories. “Don’t listen to him, I mean shit IS dirty, he right about that — but nah, nothing like that.”

Whether you believe the wild theories floated by collectors or not, it’s unquestionable that there’s a massive card shortage and it’s pushing prices through the roof. If you want to find a rare Zion Williamson rookie card now it’ll take not a few hundred bucks, or even a few thousand — but a second mortgage on your house.

Card collectors were tracking the price spikes daily, but when word got out to the general public that there were five- and six-figure cards being pulled from packs, it started a frenzy. Go to any store that stocked cards and you’d find empty shelves, people who were never interested in cards before were lingering around the section, looking to quickly make four times their purchase in a matter of hours be reselling online.

Word of Friday stocking got out. It wasn’t long before there were lines down the sidewalk, in the middle of a pandemic, of people waiting for store doors to open to they could rush the card rack. “My people started getting scared,” Tyrone said, referring to his merchandisers. “Not like they were afraid of getting hurt or nothing. They just didn’t want the drama of pulling the shit off shelves, someone reporting them and losing their jobs.” Soon the merchandisers started to pull out of their deals, no longer interested in the risks the quick money brought. It became more and more difficult for Tyrone to secure large numbers of cards.

This is the harsh reality of the #Pokemon TCG right now. It’s a mess pic.twitter.com/3RnbeGz07A

— Pokémon News (@TrainerINTEL) May 22, 2021

Then the news came cards were being pulled from shelves. “Nobody was ready for that. Shit, I don’t think Panini or Bowman were ready for that,” Tyrone says. Overnight the network he’d cultivated for years collapsed, but this wasn’t a man who looked like his world was crumbling around him — rather, he seemed calm. “I knew it was coming, just not this way. I have plans, believe me I have plans. Just not ready to talk about that yet.”

While Tyrone pivots to whatever he’s doing next, on Friday May 21, one week after pulling cards from the shelves, Target opened them up again for online-only sales. This time with strict limits to how many packs and boxes people could buy, effectively killing the scalping market. A great day for general consumers, and perhaps the nail in the coffin for those who made a living off cards in the last few years.

When reached for comment Target corporate said they had nothing to add to the card situation beyond their initial statement posted in stores.

[roombagreyjoy]

I just finished watching TFATWS 01X04 and here are some scattered thoughts:

There's literally only so much you can do with acting and cinematography. Even when they're both stellar. If your plot is weak and the motivations and side characters are bland, and the antagonists' plans feel rushed and not thought through then what can I say, I'm gonna end up glancing at my phone instead of paying attention. Predictability is just your average day when it comes to superhero stories but there's a limit as to how much you can actually excuse.

I'm gonna go backwards since the ending is what I have freshest in my mind right now but from the top of my head:

You… want to kill Captain America. You make plans to meet up with the Falcon but you have already stated your desire to kill Captain America. You're the leader of an organisation which has allegedly worldwide reach. You're supposed to have a plan. But when you throw Captain America's buddy against a pillar and he stops moving you just… leave? Like that? Without finishing the job? Okay.

I get it if she's scared. I do. But she literally blew up a building with multiple people inside just last episode. Where'd that determination go? Where's the fire of your revolution at? You see Cap get mad and you just haul ass and leave??? What kind of nonsense bullshit is that??? Didn't want to leave any plot points unanswered for next episode did you, writers???

No seriously what the actual fuck you make a move against Captain Walmart and when he's about to retaliate you just... retire? Leaving yourselves vulnerable? And don't tell me it's because they're fucking amateurs because those people were wielding combat knives and clearly had had training (regardless of how much; clearly less so than any of the other main characters but case in point is they're still trained). Now you just have a havoc Walker going on a bloodthirsty killing spree which of course is very plot convenient but it just feels so... poorly written.

Speaking of poorly written: Lamar. They did the man dirty. And I don't mean no disrespect but he was the blandest, most plain character in the entire show thus far. No amount of outstanding acting from the performer's part (who intuitively led us to believe Lamar was, in fact, a character with nuance and potential) will save him from what he ended up being: cannon fodder to fuel the white man's motivation. One would assume content creators learn from their mistakes; apparently, they do not.

Something else... "the Dora Milage have no authority here"... and America does... in European soil? Don't forget yourself.

Sorry but as an European it makes me mad that they just gloss over these scenes like so. Excuse you.

Anyway that's just colonialist American television bullshit for you.

Military propaganda blablabla

I really have nothing to say about Karli other than the fact that no matter how honourable her motive and how strong her determination, she'll probably just end up being a weak minded leader (because this is Disney and supremacists who go against xenophobes are bad). I mean… I don't dislike her. I just don't like her. Massive kudos to the actress for her performance though, the scene where Zemo shoots her and destroys the serum vial was brutal. Less so the funeral speech scene but it was all in all pretty good so no complaints from me there.

Speaking of no complaints: Wyatt Rusell. He's killing it. The acting he does in close-up shoots is just, amazing. It's a shame such talent and, let's be real, genuine passion and work is being lost with all the fucking idiots plaguing the fandom who are deadass sending him death threats over what may possibly be one of the best performances in an MCU project, ever. I literally have nothing but praise for this man's work. Absolutely outstanding.

Speaking of (x2) one of the best performances in the MCU: Not only is Anthony Mackie showing us the full Juilliard graduate experience, he's finally being able to give Sam the complexity and nuance his character so rightfully deserves. Sebastian Stan is of course a top tier actor and, let's be real, the opening scene with the WS conditioning being lifted was simply heartbreaking, but his talents cannot compare to Mackie's (this episode in particular)

However they generally even each other out and their chemistry makes their complimentary roles shine even further. Massive kudos to both of them for giving two characters who would otherwise be left in the dark extreme realism and in the case of Sam, an innate compassion and humanity I would have never expected from a show like this. Sam is an intelligent and driven character who is so preoccupied both by his loved ones and by the people he's supposed to be up against that it's just absolutely mind blowing how anyone could take a look at him and say he does not deserve the shield. He is what the shield ought to represent. He is what the shield should aspire to be. Not what it'll ever be nonetheless (can you tell I fucking dislike America's guts)

The Dora Milage were a very welcome addition and the fight scene might just be my favourite this episode. The choreography was a little clumsy in my opinion but that might've been just the way it was shot in order to make it more chaotic so... it'll pass. I hope to see more of them in the future (especially if they beat Walker's ass again)

Zemo my beloved war criminal ❤️

I have many more thoughts regarding scenery and music and of course the nuance of the acting in specific scenes but mainly yeah this was it

Uhhh 7/10 could do better but overall enjoyable let's hope next episode doesn't disappoint XOXO gossip ralph

[artificialqueens]

A Cat's Intuition (Shalaska) 2/4 - Lunaska

A/N: So, here she is.This fic, like most things I write, is a slow-burn, so be patient with me. The waiter/bartender as described in this chapter is probably ridiculously inaccurate, but it’s how I need it to be. This chapter was fun to write and I hope you like it as much as I do. Please leave me some feedback!

Aaron’s ears were red.

And his neck.

And his face.

And probably everything else too.

In his haste to get rid of the small colony of underwear that had settled on his living room rug, he had made some poor decisions.

First of all, walmart shopping bags are good for many things: acting as small trash can liners, handy helpers when you have to pick up the shit your neighbor’s dog keeps leaving on your lawn, and the classic “i’m staying at a friend’s house and don’t want my dirty clothes to touch the rest of my clothes.”

One of the things walmart shopping bags were not known for is their stealth.

Being mildly transparent, flimsy, and noisy, they are not the best at keeping secrets.

Another important thing to take into account is that when you want to keep the contents of your grocery bags hidden, you should probably tie them shut.

Needless to say, Aaron’s decision making skills were proving subpar.

But, his lack of knowledge in the art of the covert didn’t stop there.

On his way to drop his bag of underwear off in the big trash in the parking lot, he made a crucial error: being a distracted son a bitch.

Aaron wasn’t sure the quarter he bent over to pick up was worth the embarrassment of having his bag full of underwear spill out all over the concrete.

Underwear that wasn’t even his.

To top all it off, it was in front of the new guy who lived right next door.

As he stared at the brunette sitting on the ground in front of him, he tried to think of any possible excuse he could use to justify what was happening.

He didn’t want to be the neighborhood weirdo.

“I’m really sorry, I was just, uhm, doing some spr-”

“Is that my fucking underwear?” The other man interrupted. Though, he didn’t seem as angry as he did shocked and confused.

Aaron tried to swallow the huge lump that had just formed in his throat, but it wasn’t going down.

He decided to stop trying.

Choking sounded pretty good right now.

xxxx

Justin was just trying to have a normal fucking day.

Instead, he was standing across from his new neighbor, who seemed to have a penchant for stranger’s undergarments. The man was sitting on the concrete with his scruffy blond hair in his hands. The bag that once contained the underwear was gone with the breeze, leaving only its previous contents to color the sidewalk.

Fucking walmart bags.

He really didn’t have enough time to process the scene before him. Even if he did have all the time in the world, he certainly didn’t have the patience to deal with whatever this shit show was going to entail.

The blond was now rubbing at his eyes, albeit a little too harshly.

It’s really a shame that all the cute ones at this apartment complex are absolute psychos.

But he had to admit that he would pick Brian, “Do you want to come over and watch Contact with me and my cat Trixie?” McCook over the weirdo stealing his underwear.

But, back to the situation at hand.

“All I want to know is if that’s my underwear?” Justin said, gesturing to the messy pile decorating the sidewalk. “And if it is mine, why do you have it?”

The blond looked up at Justin, looking absolutely hopeless.

“Uh…I don’t know.”

Justin walked over to the undergarments in question and knelt to get a closer look. It took him less than ten seconds to know that this was his missing underwear.

He looked up at the blond who was currently running his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends like he wanted to rip them out of his scalp.

He was starting to feel rather bad for embarrassing the guy. I mean, we all have our kinks, right?

He quickly looked away from the other man. He couldn’t show sympathy for someone who was actively stealing his underwear, doing God-knows-what with it, and then throwing it away.

“Look,” Justin said pointing his finger at the other man, “I don’t care what you get off to but just don’t take my shit anymore, okay?”

The blond nodded.

The guy was pretty cute, especially looking all guilty.

He steals underwear, Justin.

Focus.

He pushed off the ground with a groan and a final mildly angry look at the thief, then stalked off towards his car. With one last look over his shoulder, he yelled

“and I want my socks back too!”

xxx

Aaron couldn’t find any damn socks.

He’d spent both of his days off cleaning his entire house and looking everywhere for them and found nothing but $3.78 in change and an old beanie that Cerrone had clearly taken his claws to.

He was already pissed that he didn’t get a chance to explain himself and now the other man was going to think he was still stealing from him. He was hoping he’d find the socks along with the answer to why he was mysteriously receiving all of his neighbor’s underwear, and maybe a couple thousand dollars.

But, no dice.

Oh well.

He couldn’t afford to dwell on his odd relationship with his neighbor, or his lack of spending money.

He was scheduled to work tonight and he really needed to make some good tips or his car was gonna have to run on imagination instead of fuel. So, as he walked into his uncle’s dusty bar and grill that evening, he tried to gather some energy. The dark blue walls of the poorly lit restaurant were slowly becoming comforting, almost homey. Waiting tables wasn’t glamorous, but it kept Cerrone’s food bowl full and Aaron’s fridge stocked with PBR.

Sparing a final grateful thought towards whoever created his drink of choice, he tied his apron and got started.

A few hours in, Aaron felt right in his element as he settled into a practiced rhythm. With the kind of grace that can only be learned over time, he juggled his tables, feeling confident in the service he was providing. He had waited tables since he was sixteen, bouncing from restaurant to restaurant learning new things every time. And now at twenty four, he felt that he could do this job in his sleep and still make more money than his co-workers.

Extra napkins for table five.

Table eight needs refills.

He was about to go get one of his tables their check when he was flagged down by a customer who wanted a drink from the bar. He quickly made his way to the bar area, grumbling under his breath. The way this restaurant handled it’s drinks for tables was inconvenient, and that’s being generous. The waiters had to go all the way to the bar and order the drinks themselves.

As he grumpily made his way to the bar for the first time that evening, he took in the unfamiliar figure of the man behind the counter, who currently had his back to Aaron. They had hired a new bartender who he had yet to meet, but word around the kitchen was that he was funny. And something else his coworkers had mentioned? Was it ambidextrous?

Whatever it was, he just hoped it helped him make good drinks.

He leaned against the bar and patted the counter yelling a quick, “Hey, can I get a Long Island for my table, please?”

Aaron felt a little rude yelling at the back of the new guy’s head, but he didn’t have much of a choice.

As he waited for the bartender to acknowledge him, he took notice of all the people sitting at the bar. Most of them looking towards the new guy with amused expressions, others closer to him were laughing. He must be as funny as everyone said.

Putting a couple of drinks in front of his small audience, he grabbed a cocktail shaker from behind the counter and turned towards Aaron with a wide smile that melted as soon as the two made eye contact.

When Aaron met his eyes he wanted to evaporate on the spot. If he had a drink, he’d have done a spit take. And if he’d had more money to his name and a more conveniently placed exit door, he would’ve booked it out of the restaurant so fast, he would’ve broken the speed limit.

It was his neighbor.

You know, the one who thinks he’s a panty thief?

The one who probably thinks that Aaron has some sort of shrine dedicated to his briefs? The brunette probably assumed that Aaron had some sort of weird underwear fetish.

Aaron had always been both gay and weird, but he’d never been an underwear thief.

At this point, he chalked most of his problems up to bad karma, or maybe he’d accidentally been rude to a witch one day and now she was ruining his life. Either way, the amount of bad luck he was experiencing was ridiculous.

Aaron’s neighbor, whose name tag read “Justin,” was staring at him in shock. The shaker in his hands had stopped moving and the brunette stood stiff as a board in front of him.  The atmosphere had gone from lighthearted to tense in a matter of seconds and Aaron had no clue how to fix it.

So, he just looked back at the other man, waiting for him to to say something.

Anything.

But, the seconds passed, feeling like hours, and he knew he had to get back to his tables or his wallet would suffer. He took a quick, shaky breath and looked the other man in the eyes.

“So, uh, my name is Aaron,” He gestured to the name tag pinned onto his uniformed chest.

“It’s nice to, um, see you. So, yeah, a Long Island Ice Tea for table fifteen, please.” With that, he mustered up an unconvincing smile, turned on his heel and went back to his table. When he came back for the drink, his bartending neighbor was at the other end of the counter again with his back turned towards him. He quickly grabbed it off the counter and walked away with a sigh of relief.

Luckily, the rest of his shift was uneventful. He only had to make a couple more trips to the bar that night and all of them were less awkward than the first, and for that he was thankful.

As he rolled silverware with a couple of his co-workers later that night, he thought back on his previous encounter with Justin. Both times Aaron had been mostly silent, not even bothering to clear his name or give the other man an explanation. Everything had happened so suddenly and unexpectedly that all Aaron could do was just stand there.

He didn’t want to have an awkward relationship with someone he would obviously be seeing a lot of, so it was in his best interest to try to clear things up, and maybe even be friends with Justin.

He was determined to make things right.

Or at least make himself look less creepy.

His thoughts of redemption stayed on his mind till he clocked out that night. During the drive home, he considered what he would say and even planned a couple comebacks just in case an argument broke out, but the moment he turned the street corner that led to his apartment, all he could think of was getting home.

He sighed as he pulled into the familiar parking lot of his apartment complex.

It had been a long ass day.

All he wanted was to get home, take a shower, and watch a movie on his couch with Cerrone on his lap. He turned off his car almost giddy at the thought of having a relaxing night in.

But, the possibility of that scenario fizzled out as he got out of his car and saw Justin pull into the parking lot.

He knew that he would never get another opportunity to talk to him at work. He had already spent hours thinking about what to say and there was no time like the present, right?

Aaron pushed his door open and pulled himself out of his beat up toyota. He walked closer to where Justin was parking his car, hoping to catch him as he got out.

Justin got out of his car ungracefully and slammed the door behind him. Obviously not expecting aaron to be standing a couple feet from him in the middle of a dark parking lot.

Okay, not his best idea.

“Were you waiting for me here?” Justin said with wide eyes and a shaky voice. He had a hand over his heart and was obviously trying to catch his breath.

Aaron once again realized that this probably wasn’t the best scenario to try to convince someone that you aren’t insane or trying to stalk, kidnap, or murder them.

“Uhm, no. I just saw you pull in and i’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while,” he said, nervously combing through his hair with his fingers, “ So, I thought now would be a good time.”

Justin visibly relaxed a little, but still seemed nervous.

“I already said we’re cool, dude.” Justin said, “We all have weird kinks. I just can’t afford to keep losing shit; I’m sure Brian two doors down has some great pieces for your collection, though.”

Aaron sighed nervously, “No, let me explain. I didn’t take your underwear. It just…” he started pulling at his hair again, “Kind of appeared in my living room.”

“Oh, I see. It appeared in your living room?” said Justin, clearly unconvinced.

“Yes. I don’t know how it got there.” Aaron knew it was a terrible argument from the second it left his mouth, but it was the only one he had to work with.

“Have you considered magic? Maybe David Blaine is playing a very long, overly involved magic trick on you,” Justin said, bitingly sarcastic. “And maybe I’mDavid Blaine, after all! I’m in a mask filming this whole thing just to embarrass you, right?”

Justin took a deep, exasperated breath, clearly about to continue his list of impossible scenarios, but Aaron quickly put his hands up in surrender.

“I know it doesn’t sound very-” Aaron stopped suddenly, almost positive that he heard… meowing?

“Cerrone?” he called into the darkness of the empty parking lot.

Justin was obviously confused, but also looked around trying to find whatever the blond was searching for. Suddenly Aaron’s cat sauntered out from behind Justin’s car, going straight towards his favorite person.

“What are you doing outside?” asked Aaron as he gathered the kitty in his arms, “how did you even get out?”

He rubbed his cat between the ears and Cerrone purred. They were both wrapped up in their little love fest until a cough from Justin’s direction brought Aaron back to the situation at hand.

“Oh, sorry!” he looked down at the cat in his arms, “do you maybe want to talk about this at my place? I really need to get him inside.”

While he really did need to get Cerrone back home, he was also hoping that maybe showing Justin how normal his apartment was would help strengthen his argument. And after being at work for so long his feet were fucking killing him and he really wanted to sit down.

Justin shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, obviously apprehensive.

Aaron tried to muster a friendly smile, but quickly realized it probably just came off weird, so he slowly let his lips drop into their normal position.

Justin seemed to think it over for a few more seconds. With hands still in his pockets he kicked at some nonexistent rocks at his feet before uttering a quiet, “Okay.”

Okay, this was progress.

Aaron nodded, grinning excitedly before leading the way towards his apartment. The whole walk was awkward and as he struggled to unlock his front door with one arm, as the other was holding Cerrone, he could see the hesitance on Justin’s face.

As the key turned and he pushed the door open, he only hoped for one thing

Please don’t let there be a huge pile of this guy’s underwear sitting in my living room floor.

[traviswsoul]

Day 28 Brook's Memorial Park to Sunnyside RV Resort 50 miles

July 31, 3:49 time, 2,044 caloires, 13.2 avg mph, 1,014; climbed After so many days resting up I was ready to ride. The campsite was great, I went to sleep at sunset reading Thomas Paine’s The Age of Reason, which is blowing my mind, and then was at with the sun at 5:30. This was a great execution of the morning routine so I was able to run through the breakfast and packing like a pro. This was greatly assisted by having a dry tent, I think I’m learning something about dew, I believe dew doesn’t settle through the night as much as it settles in the morning after the sun comes up. It makes sense, if the air around a colder thing heats up then the surface of the thing gathers dew, it’s just condensation I’m thinking. This lines up with my observation and is encouraging me to get up as soon as its light, I really hate packing a wet tent! Adapting my body to routine of the sun is really exciting for me, I have always been a morning person and believed this to be the best way to make the most of the day. I hope that I can keep it up when I get off the road. It makes me think about how much time I have been outside, and sleeping and waking without a roof over my head that normally allows my controlling of light, and so many other things. I am enjoying an learning a lot from the simplicity of a narrow realm of control and adapting myself to nature instead of trying to force all the elements to adapt to my lifestyle. But, don’t get me wrong, I’m also looking forward to sleeping in when this is all over and I’m back in my bed, I need some black out curtains. ;) However this morning I had almost pedaled out of the park before realizing I didn’t have my Garmin computer in its place, I turned around and dug it out of some pocket it didn’t belong in, I’ve got to unpack and reorganize everything soon. Because I am no longer on the coast I no longer have maps and planned routes, instead I downloaded a route on the Ride With GPS app and when I was setting it up I checked avoid highways. This was a bad move. I rode for a couple hours, the last few miles down the same road, I knew I had a right turn coming up and that it was going to take eight miles toward the next town. This road was deep grey gravel with some packed spots from driving but like cars do to roads like this the packed spots were rippled and a nightmare to ride over. I had a little hope that it might turn into a paved road so I went almost a half mile before throwing in the towel and turning around. The way back was downhill and there were several times I was certain I as going to crash as I drifted through the loose surface. Somehow I managed to not though and arrived back to where I started. I happened to just get phone service at this same time so despite the chaos I called mom right away because she hadn’t heard from me in a couple days, and I promised her that wouldn’t happen. She was at a computer and helped find my way, as she has always done so well, even before computers. I’m actually really grateful for this mixup because I ended up cycling through the Yakima Valley hop farms. Eighty percent of America’s hops come from here, they grow all different varieties, the ones hop fans are familiar with as well as ones they developed and cultivated ones found wild. I am a huge hop fan myself and have in the last year become for intrigued about how they grow. My local brew supply store had some for sale in the shop one day that you could grow at home, then I talked with a friend of mine that farms hay about them and we wondered if they’d grow in the Texas hillcountry, surely local Texas beer brewers would pay a lot more for Texas hops than what whoever pays for hay. The field is covered with a grid of rope and wire suspended twenty feet up in the air. Ropes are run from it to the ground, one for each hop vine in the rows. They grow tall wrapping up the vine and reaching for the sun, it’s a beautiful sight to see. I stopped as soon as I did, parked my bike and walked in to inspect what this was. It was a young plot and none of the plants had mature hops on them so I didn’t recognize them right away. I did have a feeling it was hops from the baby buds I found on them, I took a sample to ask someone later but I didn’t have to, down the road was a mature field with towering vines and fully developed fat hops. I was beside myself, my ideas were confirmed and they had been on my mind for such long time so to see it in person felt like the coolest culmination of my ongoing farming lesson that has been this trip. I continued to ride turn after turn through hop farms all at different stages of growth approaching harvest and delivering those delicious betters flavoring my favorite hopy IPAs. All day I had been riding through or along the Yakima Nation Indian Reservation and the Yakima River. I will take this moment to not start ranting about the genocide that created the foundation for our sprawling across this “great” nation and the irony and conflict that I feel about national pride because we collectively choose to ignore this fact……If you stole someone’s TransAm you wouldn’t go blasting around town, blaring Metallica, yelling about it with your mulleted head hangin out the window, flying a flag with you name on it would you? How long after it’s been stolen and passed down to your kids does it become appropriate behavior? This is why I have a hard time with the braggadocios pride on Independence day, why I’ll always bring up smallpox at Thanksgiving, and could only wear an American branded article ironically. Budweiser beer has the word America in the place the brand name used to be, it’s way out of hand. People keep realizing the truth in the line Not all Donald Trump supporters are racist, but all racists are Donald Trump supporters, and they also see them selves as the greatest patriots as well, only adding to my resistance to align where I’m supposed to, patriotism, its a no brainer right? You go all gung ho about where ever your from and allow ideas that’s it’s the best actually hold water. That’s insane, It’s like religions knowing that all the others are wrong and mine is right. Clinging to nationalism, hyper patriotism and rejecting things foreign or different are blatant signs of insecurity and self doubt, in some cases, in my opinion. But since I’m not ranting about the patriotic forgetfulness of the blood on our hands after “founding” our country I’ll move on to my next flat tire. The Yakima river took me into Granger, there are dinosaurs in Granger, all over the town, apparently its a ancient river bed and some of the first fossils were found there. There really cling to there dino identity in Granger, theres not much really to be honest. I needed to eat and managed to find the only restaurant in town that was inside a little Mexican market and meat shop. I had a great time visiting with the three woman sitting next to me at the second of the only three tables there. I drank a bottle of appeared to be Mexican version of pedialite, that stuff you give to babies when they are sick and need electrolites, which I sure did, it was hot outside. The bonus was it was Horchatta flavored! I love Horchata and used to order the cinnamon rice milk drink at Magie’s, my favorite Mexican joint in my home town. I hope I find that again some day! It wasn’t much further to the next town, I had options, I could have stopped there or gone on but I was in no rush and then my tire popped a quarter mile from the first gas station of the town so it was decided, Sunnyside Washington would be home for the night. I had a hell of a time changing this tire. The one tube I tried to replace it with ended up have a bad valve in it and wouldn’t take air, I only realized this after wasting a buck in quarters and a CO2 figuring it out. When I the bike was finally ridable and put back together I spent a while riding around this big little town. I checked the Big 5 Sports store and the Walmart. Little air guns and pellet guns use CO2 but they don’t screw in so they don’t have threads to use with my tire inflator. So knowing there was nothing left to do I cruised around eyes for a spot to camp. The back of the Walmart had a line of overhead bushes and right behind them was 8 foot lane before a huge endless corn field, it would have been perfect but it was still early, I could use a shower, and didn’t want to not be able to leave my stuff to go eat or get water. Sunnyside RV Resort was a much better option for twenty bucks. I met some wonderful kids too there that were really interested in me, my stuff, harmonica and had all kinds of random ass stories to tell me like, about the bug at school, the treasure he buried in the yard, and the youngest just mumbled stuff constantly. They were are dirty from playing outside all day and not afraid of their curiosity. The six year old gave me a blue magic stone which was one of the half glass marbles from a fish tank, I’m keeping it forever. The guy who ran the place sent me to El Valle for the Lamb Shank and Cadillac Margarita. The lamb was delicious covered in enchilada sauce served with rice and cheesy refried beans, I didn’t need any liquor though so I passed on the Cadillac. I went to bed full and happy I was back on the road and in the full swing of things.

PS. The encouragement from strangers and drivers everyday is amazing, powerful and really helps me push on sometimes when it’s slow. Please take note, If you want to express your excitement about seeing a cyclist on the road and cheer him on, be sure not to begin honking until after you have passed him and he can identify you as an ally by your fist pumping out the window. Ally’s honks don’t sound any different than Asshole’s

[imnoexpertblog]

Look Good, Feel Good

5/9/18

It would make perfect sense that as I am writing the Health and Beauty blog I am CRAVING EVERYTHING BAD FOR ME EVER. I’m usually craving-free unless it’s shark week. But I currently could go for all the fast food, all the chocolate, all the fried stuff. Hopefully writing this will pull me out of that state. I have a long list of things to cover in this category and it’s so hard to only pick a few to start with! Interesting stuff coming for sure.

Ever heard of Olly? The vitamins? Well if you haven’t, you’re missing out. After a little bit of time on third shift, my body started to reject sleeping during the day. It was weird because it was going fine initially, then not so much after a little while. Now it really just depends on the day or how much noise is being made near/in my apartment building. Anyway, falling asleep has never been my problem. It’s staying asleep that I just can’t seem to master most days. I started researching vitamins and supplements that might help me, but also isn’t entirely melatonin. If you take too much of it, your body can potentially stop making it on its own and that just sounds scary to me. I came across Olly Restful Sleep gummies. I looked on the Olly website, Amazon, and on Target and the reviews were mostly 4 stars and 5 stars. People were claiming it cured their insomnia after years of searching for a fix. I saw that people were a fan of it helping you fall asleep as well as stay asleep, which was my whole goal. The taste reviews were also positive! They are a “blackberry zen” flavor. I was thinking this stuff might be gold in the form of a purple gummy. These gummies are also a mixture of melatonin (for the healthy sleep-cycle), L-theanine (to encourage calmness), and botanicals (to soothe and relax). I liked everything I was reading so I ordered them for $11.99 on Amazon. I figured if they don’t work, I didn’t break the bank over it. I looked at other vitamins they offer and I also bought the Vitamin D gummies. I thought if I sleep all day and the sun goes down soon after I wake up, there is no way I am getting enough sunlight. I was also sold on them as soon as I saw that they were lemon flavored. I am obsessed with lemon. So, I bought both and continued to look at all the Olly vitamins. I eventually added Flawless Complexion and Undeniable Beauty to my cart on a regular basis. Flawless Complexion has kept my face very clear since having quit tanning. They are flavored “berry fresh” and consist of vitamin A and E antioxidants (to support clear skin), zinc and selenium minerals (for new skin regeneration and cell detox), and a bunch of botanicals for odetoxification). Undeniable Beauty is flavored “grapefruit glam” and consists of biotin (for growth of hair, skin and nails), vitamin C (for collagen production), and borage oil (for naturally occurring GLA). I like these 4 and can see results, so I will keep at it. I take the vitamin D every day. I take the sleep gummies at the beginning of my work week when it is most difficult to get back to day-sleeping (after having slept through the night with Baby over the weekend). I rotate the other two every other day to avoid overkill and gutrot. I have tried the Goodbye Stress ones as well as the Vibrant Skin, too. I cut the Vibrant Skin because I disliked the texture and I already take 2 vitamins for my skin. The Goodbye Stress vitamins didn’t seem to do anything for me. Reviews claim otherwise for some, which is great for them, but I didn’t see a difference myself. There are more for energy, probiotics, digestion, daily vitamins, etc. Olly also carries smoothie/shake mixes and now granola bars! I’m excited to try more of their products.

Keep Calm and Detox. I was feeling puffy after drinking one weekend (I was probably just dramatic, it was the first time I drank two nights in a row and I fully regretted that. If you know me, you know that I rarely drink) so I went searching for a detox tea. I wanted to make sure I was getting something legitimate and something reviewed well. These detox teas can be scams, part of fad diets, have the wrong ingredients, or can possibly just not work. Being on a budget, Zero Tea 14 Day Detox Tea caught my attention being only $15 for a 14 day package. The reviews were promising (4.5 stars for almost 900 reviews). It has organic rooibos, cinnamon, green tea, nutmeg, cloves, red peppercorn, orange peels, and cornflower. Most importantly (to me) it does not have any laxatives in it, natural or otherwise. It claimed to boost your metabolism and energy, promote proper digestion, reduce bloating and inflammation, and to detoxify of course. Plus, everyone was raving about the taste. Taste is a big thing for me because I am really not much of a tea drinker. I think it tastes dirty most of the time. Pushing that fact aside, I trusted what these people were saying and I ordered it. I started it the day after it arrived, steeping the bag in 8 oz. of water for 5 minutes and drinking it upon waking up (it also recommends drinking 8 oz. of water before the tea, as well). I really was okay with how it tasted! It was kind of cider-ish and also citrus-y. Technical terms, LOL. I lost 2.4 pounds in those 14 days and I truly felt it did what it claimed to. I felt great the whole two weeks, was less puffy, even had great skin the whole time, lost those couple pounds, had energy, and it curbed my appetite and cravings. I got a little coupon inside the bag stating that if I gave them a review, I would get a free bag! Baby and I are going to split it and both do 7 days with our free bag. I’m excited!

I have never been one to spend a lot of money on much of anything, but make-up especially. I was at Wal-Mart with Baby a couple weeks ago and we passed an end-cap with boxes full of make-up. They all were under $10, worth much more, and had about five items in each! You can bet I was immediately interested. Budget friendly make-up? Uh, yes please. I have a recent obsession with highlight so the Walmart Beauty Favorites Box: Glow For It was all I could look at. It comes with Covergirl Vitalist Healthy Glow Highlighter, Found Coconut Sheet Mask, Milani Make it Dewy Setting Spray, Hard Candy Rose Gold Highlighter, and Wet N Wild MegaGlo Highlighting Powder. Maybe it’s a little overboard to use the three highlighters and the setting spray all together but I do. Every. Day. They also have Time For Eyes and Latest in Lips for the Beauty Boxes. There are three Hair Favorites Boxes as well; Refresh Renew Extend, Love My Curls, and Naturally Inspired. I am very close to buying the Naturally Inspired Hair Box. Give these cheap boxes a look!

Okay. My struggle this week (and/or this past.. few months). I am back to the gym. Reluctantly. Again. I was going regularly in February and I was really proud of myself! Then I got deathly ill and didn’t go for about a week. That is understandable. But that is what did it for me, getting sick knocked me right off saddle. My main motivator now is that Baby and I get discounts on our memberships at Western Racquet if we go a certain amount of times each month. Otherwise, it’s not cheap. I always heard good things about that place but always knew how expensive it was. I wasn’t interested in spending more than $20 a month, which was what I paid at Planet Fitness. Baby’s friend gave him a two-week trial at Western and he LOVED IT. He knew he was going to sign up right away. He then had me do a two-week trial. It’s very nice in there, don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t hooked though until I used the steam room and showers. HOLY MOLY. I never showered at Planet Fitness when I worked out there. There was nothing special about the showers or locker room there and I usually prefer to shower at home. But. Steaming changed the game for me. I had no idea how great it feels or how amazing it would be for my skin. The showers have hair/body soap dispensers and they even have little changing sections in each of them! Western provides towels, Q-tips, tampons, cotton balls, lotion, mouthwash, hair driers, SO MUCH STUFF. I don’t use the sauna but they have one of those too! I think having all of that is definitely worth the membership. Text WRFC to 95577 for a free two-week trial if you live in the area! Back to my struggle though, I really don’t feel like working out lately. My body just doesn’t want to sleep through the day these past couple weeks and I’m not sure what to do about it. Lacking the energy I would have if I slept enough is holding me back for sure. I’m just going to keep pushing myself to get to the gym, taking my Olly sleep gummies, forcing myself back to sleep every time I wake up, and look into ‘sleepy’ teas to potentially knock me out. If you have any tips, let me know! I already have black-out curtains and sleep with an eye-mask. Ya girl is TIRED.

I hope you survive Hump Day! I look forward to our next requested blog; anxiety in relationships. I’m off to sleep soon, wish me luck!

[cleannation2018-blog]

Pizza Hut Wendys Suit

Cleannation

Vs.

Pizza Hut/ Wendys

T. Andrews has brought  a person pan pizza on friday. Today I order the same thing I order all the time when I am ordering pizza. not at that location but any time i am ordering pizza. Light sauce extra cheese sausage and pineapple.  I wait probably 20 minutes for my personal pan pizza to be made. Just as he comes out with my pizza I smell HIV.  I know what HIV smells like due to past experiences at other stores.  Actually I am in the middle of other suits with other stores due to HIV being wiped on numerous of stores food products and products in general.  Walmart in particular.  I am not a prissy kind of chick that screams at the sight of Mud or dirt or “germs” buts AIDS Is scream kick and yell at obviously and its EVERYWHERE. I Have noticed the aids smell on a lot of products across stores like CVS  7 Eleven WALAMRT SAFEWAY AND GIANTS –THOSE are the stores I frequent on a regular basis.    Reading it may sound hard to believe but I’ve gone to atleast two walmrt stores and been THROUGH a store---nearly every product I picked up has been tainted with the smell. Its gross negligence or PURPOSEFULLY done either way PEOPLE shouldn’t have jobs including the president.  There’s no way a consumer is coming into ANY STORE over the course of two weeks and finding all the products contaminated---- Yet it’s true. How I will never know. I feel like they trying to make it normal. HELL NO. I brought a new product I expect a new product---a risk to every consumer and the CEO of these stores are unconcerned and the president of the United States  is unconcerned.  From here it would appear illegal and negligent like these people are putting consumers in harm’s way especially children who are not paying attention. Adults who are not paying attention. I actually am not eating properly. I’ve been eating sealed products like chips and even that is compromised some days to the point I eat nothing  and soda  I’m starving so I ventured into ordering. At  this point im hoping a camera and needing a job and wanting to stay out of jail will keep people in line but it Is not. I have been advocating that HIV  positive workers be banned from working at stores and due to the contaminated mess Wal-Mart’s store is that they be banned from entering stores all together.  But back to the purpose of the suit against Pizza Hut and Wendy’s they will be included in the same suit as it happened on the same day and in retrospect are connected due to the timeline. Back to what happened on the second of March 2018. Written 3/2/2018. He comes out with the pizza and I smell Hiv. I Ponder for a second.  Then I ask for a refund.  I am angry leaving the store because one Pizza Hut disrespected humanity and myself by hiring HIV positive workers and entrusting them with LOADED guns and NOT telling CUSTOMERS they are hiring HIV positive workers. What you choose to do with your BUSINESS is YOUR business BUT YOU took my right to decide if I want to EAT HERE. You place doubt on EVERYONE walking in the door. AND I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA. I showed you what would happen if I know someone with HIV is working there. The fact that your flagrantly took my rights and choice is spit in your face and take your JOB and your company. And the whole it’s your choice to run your business how you please—is following law. But the law needs to be UNDONE clean people with sense are not eating with PEOPLE or from PEOPLE who have AIDS. You cannot put DIRTY and clean in the same sentence. They need to be removed from working especially around food and clothes and the like. Imagine buying a brand new car or a brand new sofa and someone wiped hiv fluids on the surface. DISGUSTED. And Whats even worse I have to worry if when I say LIGHT  sauce because I HATE tomato sauce or pizza with too much tomato sauce has pissed someone off or scratched someone’s funny bone and someone thought it was funny to put HIV in my food.  Fuck no This is a food place meaning I can customize my food anyway I LIKE. I paid money.  It should be encouraged to show you’re a worthy food place. I’m not worrying about shit beyond did you do it RIGHT you owe me money for you not having common sense. I went to Wendy’s next and the whole way there Im thinking do these people KNOW each other. Call themselves being upset because I don’t want to catch AIDS. And I turned out to be right.  People shoot humanity and human decncy down every day.  I am now an over developed cynist. Turned out to be right. I ordered two double stacks for 1 each and a small fry.  The first burger I opened smelled like Vagina. Think God I thought to smell it.  It was refunded. None of these meals were eaten thank God  but IT DISHEARTENS ME THAT THE world I use to know where WHAT I was going to order is no longer the concern WHERE can I eat safely. Do They LOOK trustworthy. YOU TURN customers into FBI agents.  You take the free civilized  world we live in when you hand it to inferior diseased criminal minds like hiv positive people. It is a HUMAN thought to want to NORMALIZE a disease especially a disease like HIV but it is a crime. The only way to normalize it is to give it to people INFECT people. It is a crime. and I find it amazing you have that much trust in criminal humanity that you are giving people with loaded guns free blank checks and the only security you are offering is a cameras that will be reviewed after someone has eaten a meal. No sir. No MAM It  is the most infuriating THING I one cant enjoy my food but that Two YOU HAVE GIVEN INFERIOR INFECTED PEOPLE POWER. i say the wrong thing on twitter and WALAH my food is being posioned. Thats not a  civilized soceity specifically when   THE WAR HAS BEEN started by criminals and it is A WAR.  When I spend money on food. I expect  to enjoy it not worry I will be picked out because I am black or fat or because I said something on TWITTER about my food being contaminated by AIDS. It is the most infuriating thing that the GOVT is insinuating hiv PSOITIVE people are GOING TO play god and SHRUG if a clean person gets via food or some other criminal activity it. No sir noone will be playing GOD In my life. I live my life the way I do purposefully. I will be getting what i SO. The law and govt are meant to be the consumers eyes and ears. Protectors considering nooone knows everything and most people know some but noone knows everything. The govt has quite frankly startled and disspointed me. My diet is 80 percent dairy. Im a likely candidate to be picked out either from milk  ice cream salad or mayonnaise. Its scary. And those are OBVIOUS food that conceal HIV an food can be wiped with it. Its a scary thought. Are you really saying THE GOVT PASSED A law putting the general public in harms way? I am going to have to stop this, Little ol me a nobody with no secret service.  I'm usually not a politician or someone who goes to bat for things on this level but FOOD is half of my life. I have no choice. ONE of the amazing things about being alive is that we get to make our decidions there are probbaly a billion food items in earth,. In the past two weeks ive been drinking soda and chips. Its a disgusting sad story. I dont have AIDS and Im living like I do. Its the most dehumaning thing I have eevr experienced AND pizza Hut adn Wendys JUST EMPHASIZED MY POINT. tHE aids THING was brought to my atention before Wendys ND PIZZA HUT----brought my spirits down. These people dont have much to live for., Taking someone elses life will not be a hard task. Ist unsettling The GOVT WAS allowing them to work and free access to stores. Its coming to an end. There is no other way.

Relief

 Close Pizza Hut and Wendys adn the sum of its assetts

REMOVE ALL HIV positive workers from employment and remove access to stores

[devynstahlwriting-blog]

The Decorative Pineapple

I sit on a shelf in a Bed Bath and Beyond, or maybe a Target or a Walmart if I’m feeling cheap, truth is I don’t really know.  Every day, I watch people walk by my lonely shelf, a glance here and there, but no one grabs.  There really is no true use for a thing like me, all I do is add aesthetic to an otherwise boring room.  At least in my opinion, but what use is my opinion.

             Here comes another worthy consumer, passing by. Wait, she stops. She stares with her wide eyes, in line with my shelf.  Her hand reaches into my shelf, and she grabs me, so long to the pathetic candle holder that surround me.  She turns me around in her warm hand, examines all my aspects, my green metal leaves, my golden body, this is a little intrusive, but I think I might find my forever home.  She places me next to some paper towels and batteries.  We stroll through the store, everything slows down, I’m no longer on that lonely shelf.

             The cart comes to a stop and I’m placed on this moving ground, I’m forced to move towards this red light, BEEP, and I’m placed in a plastic bag.  It’s official, the batteries follow, then the paper towels and we’re moved back into the cart.

             “36.53” a voice interrupts my joy.

           I see the blue-eyed woman look down at us, “oh um.” She ruffles through the bags, “these, I make it without these.” It’s not me, she wants me, so long batteries.

           “29.67” the voice says again.

           She nods flipping through a cloth thing, “phew, here.”

             We make to the car and we’re off.  I bump against paper towels but it’s good bumping, I don’t think paper towels minds, we’re both going home.

             My person places my bag on this hard surface, it’s cold but it makes me warm knowing it is not my shelf.  Her hand reaches for me again, she continues to stare at me, and places me in the middle of this hard surface, there is nothing around me, but I am home.  It’s not like my shelf lonely, it’s a comforting lonely.

             I may be old, and a little dented but my owner loves me. She even has matching plates to go with me.  She bought a whole kitchen set that matches me at that.  I’ve never been more at home than when I was with her.  There’s now a man.  A man with coffee brown eyes, and a black beard.  He comes around a lot, he eats off my plates and kisses my owner. He’s been coming around a lot, I’ve lost track of time as I cannot tell time.

             My owner sits across from me, staring at me, she grabs me, and whispers, “thank you for giving me hope.”  If I could smile I would.  She sets me down and makes a plate on my friend the plate.  I notice something new on her finger, it’s shiny, bread man comes through the door, kisses her on the cheek.

             He whispers to her, “I love you,” I doubt he loves her as much as I do.  She smiles, and looks down at me.  I hadn’t seen before but he has a box, a box that says kitchen.  Beard man reaches into and takes something out.  Wait!  IT looks like me, he has a me too, I have a sister.  Beard man isn’t so bad.

             My owner comes through the kitchen door, her belly has gotten big, and beard man has done a lot of the things my owner would do. Beard man places a brethren down in front of my owner, with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on top, she smiles gratefully at him.  Maybe he does love her.

             The house is a lot louder, there is a lot of yelling and crying, but no one is sad.  I am suddenly grabbed by the dirty hands of a small beard man, but he has no beard, beardless small man.  He waves me around and giggles, running me through the rest of the house, I’ve never been here before, I’m going back and forth in beardless small man’s hand.   Next thing I know I’m flying, and BANG. I hit the wood floor, ouch.  My owner walks over.

             “Oh no,” she picks me up and observes my wounds, I dent in my body, and a bent of my leaves.

             Beard man walks over, holding beardless small man, “well it adds character.” He smiles at her and kisses her temple.  I’m once again placed next to my now perfect sister. Character, I like that.

             Beardless small man, is no longer beardless and no longer small, he’s another beard man.  He’s putting things into boxes.  I haven’t seen my owner or first beard man in a while, if I could talk I would ask where are they, but I cannot, I am placed into a box with my plate brethren and my sister and everything in the kitchen.  Where am I going?

             Beardless small man who is no longer beardless or small, pulls me and my sister out of the box, “thank you for giving my mom, and my dad hope, and allowing them to find each other.  They loved you and I promise to love you too.” He places us on a different hard surface in a different kitchen.  This must be our new home.

[princessbebeboots-blog]

Midtown |

What did you do this afternoon? Went to get food then went to Walmart to get make up wipes and my medication.

When was the last time you smiled? Couple hours ago.

Can you use chopsticks? Yes.

Who will you be sleeping with tonight? Me, myself and I.

Do you still talk to the person you fell hardest for? Sometimes yes.

Do you remember what you were like a year ago? Yeah not the best person.

Where did your last hug take place? My sisters.

When is the last time you took a nap? This morning I took two.

What are you doing tomorrow? Court.

Who’s pool did you last swim in? My own.

What are you excited for? I dunno maybe going to see the color morale.

Who do you like? I dunno at the moment.

What makes you laugh? Friends, my nephew and family.

How has the week been? Pretty good.

Your thoughts of long distance relationship? I think they're worth it for the most part.

What is/are your favorite colors? Pink and black, purple and black etc.

Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them? Not really.

Does your last ex deserve to die? No.

Who do you tell the most to? Jena.

Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? Yeah lol lies.

What do you carry with you at all times? My phone and my keys.

When was the last time you saw your grandpa? Both my grandpas are dead so I hope never.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? A few.

What’s on your mind right now? I am tired and I want to sleep but it's early.

How have you felt today? Okay lack of energy and tired.

Anything you’d like to say to anyone? Not really.

Do you bite your nails? No.

Are you hungry? Not right now.

Last person you texted? Jena.

Who’s password do you have? No one's

What were you doing at 11:00 AM? Napping.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to 24/7? Not 24/7 though, but I have a couple guys I talk to as friends haha.

What are you listening to? Let's Read on youtube I like to listen to creeper stories haha.

How is your hair? Up and wet.

How is your heart lately? Beating.

What are you eating or drinking at the moment? Coke and nothing.

Who was the last person you said, “I love you,” to? My nephew when I hung up the phone.

What color is your phone? Silver.

What do you spend most of your money on? Food lol.

Who was the last person to call you? A random ass number.

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Yeah when it's cold.

How long does it take for you to take a shower? 10 minutes maybe.

When was the last time you cried? It's been a couple weeks.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? Not really.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yeah.

Do you have any obsessions right now? True crime and gore.

Where were you last night? Home.

Do you have plans today? I just got food earlier.

Do you like who you are, as a person? I do actually.

Is there one thing that is on your mind constantly? Yeah I think about my anxiety sometimes.

Have you talked to a complete meany today? No I tend to avoid mean and negative people.

Are you wearing socks? I hate wearing socks.

Do you regret something you did yesterday? No lol.

Do you have anything in your pockets right now? No pockets.

In the past week have you gotten sick? Nah just lost a bit of energy.

In the past week have you gotten your hair cut? Yes.

Did you give anyone a dirty look today? Nah.

Has someone disappointed you recently? No anything in my life that upsets me tends to not last long.

Are you comfortable answering personal questions? Yes.

Who’s in your profile picture with you? Just me.

Do you have to wear glasses? When I drive and read yes.

Do you like Redbull? It's ok I like Monster better.

Do you drink regular or diet sodas? I drink both.

Would you rather date a person with a British accent or an Irish accent? Either I like both.

Ever broken a bone? Yes.

Have you ever had fake nails? I like to have them sometimes.

How many times have you been sent to the principal’s office this year? I don't go to school.

Last time you had pizza? Couple nights ago it made me sick.

When is the last time you wore a dress? My sisters engagement party.

Do you blow dry your hair? No I don't do much with my hair besides let it air dry.

Last restaurant you went to? I picked up Sonic today.

Do you believe in karma? I do.

How many days until your next birthday? I have like four months.

Where is the person you have feelings for right now? I don't know who I have feelings for.

What’s irritating you right now? Nothing I am actually pretty happy right now.

What radio station(s) do you listen to? I don't usually listen to the radio haha.

Do you like Chinese food? Yasss.

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life? Sometimes, but then I realize I am better off.

How many kids do you want to have? 3 maybe.

What are you wearing right now? Black, blue and white leggings, sports bra and black tank top.

Have you had the chicken pox? Yes when I was younger.

Last person to lay in your bed? Meeee.

What’s your favorite number? I don't have a favorite number.

Is tomorrow going to be a good day? Yes I will make it a good day.

What have you eaten today? I had a salad.

Who was the last person you took a picture with? Myself.

----------------

Where was the very first kiss you had with the last person you kissed? In my sisters kitchen.

Are you texting anybody? Yeeees.

What were you doing at 9:30 last night? I was in bed listening to Rob Dyke videos.

Are you listening to music right now? Nope I'm listening to Let's Read.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? Not really.

Concert tickets or NFL game tickets? Concert.

Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? No.

Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a someone that treated you badly? Lol story of my life.

If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say? Ok.

Have you hugged someone within the last week? Yes my sister and my nephew.

If you could push one person off a mountain, who would it be? LOL.

Are you a couple with the last person you kissed on the lips? Nope I am not.

What woke you up this morning? My body.

What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? We're essentially best friends.

Did you cry at all today? No.

Do you like to get your nails done? Yep.

Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope not.

Do you still talk to the person you fell the hardest for? To an extent yes.

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I dunno.

Are you older than the last person you kissed? No.

When is the last time you consumed alcohol? Couple years ago.

What were you doing at midnight last night? I was sleeping.

Have you ever been given flowers? At graduation yes.

Can you honestly say that at this point in time you’re happy with the way things are? Yes things are getting so much better.

Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? I don't know.

What are you excited for? I dunno exactly.

Did anyone call you babe/baby today, who? No.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? No.

What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body? Probably call 911.

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them, or let them go? Let them go I am not chasing nobody.

Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member? Yes.

Would life be the same without alcohol? Yes.

Ever had sex in the bathroom? Yes.

How do you feel about the person you kissed last? eh whatever.