#i hope this makes sense i probably got kind of rambly HAHA
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pikelandavenue · 1 year ago
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do you have any specific thoughts regarding todd flanders? i would love to hear them
hrmm... assuming you were inspired to send this after seeing a recent post i made, there wasn't anything that brought on that thought process other than someone having put this old post in my notes again the other day
i'm not very active with this blog anymore. if memory serves i started watching the simpsons back from the beginning in late 2019 and made this blog in early 2020, which is a long time ago already (remember, like, quarantine?). i had a strong hyperfixation on the show at the time and i used to post a LOT more, i'd post art, some of it incorporating headcanons i had for certain characters or original depictions of them, i'd post more thinkpieces whenever i'd want to psychoanalyze something for fun, and i DID used to have a lot to say about todd flanders
aside from posts i'd make like the one linked above i will never forget how heavily this particular episode really fed the fire of the idea that todd was destined for the potential to break free of his appointed one-notedness and eventually grow into this organic rebellion, i guess it got to me as something that felt so human, when someone is raised only ever being told certain things or trained to think in certain ways and as they get older they start to think for themselves and in many cases at least go through a phase where they desperately strive to adopt every ideology that contradicts those things they maybe now feel were harmful to their growth as a person, and maybe it's to spite a parent, or maybe it's to figure out who they wanna be, whatever it means to them in the moment they just HAVE to BREAK AWAY... it's a shared experience of so many people and it's sooo much fun to apply it to silly yellow cartoon child
if you've been following me since toddgate, which historically brought us such classics as the various psychoanalysis posts, emo todd, the whole tossica timeline (x, x, x, x), older bart hanging out with nelson and adoptive brother todd after rod goes away to college and they're some of the last og springfield kids still hanging around town (x, x, x, x, x) and so much more, i seriously love u and u earned that veteran discount
i think it all started with this post
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crazylittlejester · 4 months ago
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How do you think the Chain would react if they found out one of them had an allergy to a certain food after the hero ate the thing they were allergic to? The allergy can be as severe or as mild as you want it to be, and the hero who has the new found allergy also just found out with the rest of the group.
oooooh, okay okay
so i base Warriors’s food issues and fear of poisoning very much off of my own food allergies, and the reactions he has to said poisons (the way i write them) are based very much off of allergic reactions. So with that being said I think it would take him literally .5 seconds to understand what was happening and how to get someone a life saving potion or a fairy even though their throat is literally closing up. because he could probably recognize the symptoms just by looking at them (because i was able to look at my friend who was in the middle of trying to figure out if they really HAD just eaten an allergen and just know because I recognize those kind of panicked facial expressions and i know why someone might be testing to see if they can swallow okay and if their tongue is swollen. when something that threatens YOUR life is actively starting to threaten your friends, you kinda just know and you recognize the signs even before they start breaking out in hives)
but if Wars DIDNT have knowledge of a similar experience, i think it would take everyone a hot minute to understand the situation. food allergies are fucking weird and also fucking terrifying. sometimes your tongue is just tingling and you’re thinking to yourself “oh haha it must’ve just been spicy” or “ooh the food just has a scratchy texture” and you’re not really thinking “oh huh my life could be in danger right now-“. sometimes the same way eating spicy food makes your tongue feel is exactly how it feels when it’s swelling up because you ate something you weren’t supposed to and it takes a second for you to figure out which one it was
I headcanon Wind has peanut allergies (BECAUSE NO ONE CAN STOP ME 🫶), and if he found that out with the chain I really think it would take himself and everyone else a good minute to figure it out. Like i can see Wild making some dish with peanuts in it and Wind being like “oh this is just spicy or whatever”, and trying to either force himself to think he’s completely fine or maybe he really just doesn’t understand what’s happening to him. and i think he wouldn’t tell the others until he was dizzy and nauseous or his throat was swollen shut, because that’s what would alert him something was SERIOUSLY wrong. I don’t think he’d try to hide it from the others on PURPOSE, i just think if it was his first reaction he’d be so confused as to what was happening to him
at some point tho I think someone would honestly just grab him and try to get a red potion in him, because at some point the visible symptoms would be so obvious to the others. and if it got to a point he couldn’t drink because his throat was so swollen, they have fairies
lmao sorry for rambling and if this was a bit incoherent, i just had spicy food and accidentally freaked myself out 🥺 (<- i am stupid, and also fine, it’s just been a long day lmao). THIS WAS A COOL ASK THO AND IT GAVE ME A CHANCE TO YAP ABOUT A HEADCANON SO THANK YOU, I JUST HOPE IT MAKES SENSE AND ISNT TOO REPETITIVE
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enquire · 3 months ago
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On our earlier discussed subject, I really want to describe what my pony headcanons are for each Ultimate and why I believe they’d be suited to that species. I’m interested to see how much you agree.
Mitsuhiro Higa: Earth stallion with a rough, muscular build, given his talent. Earth ponies are typically portrayed as being in-tune with nature and having an advantage over Pegasi and unicorns when it comes to strength, and Mitch’s talent would require him to have physical strength and endurance, would it not?
Kiyoka Maki: Earth mare. Kiyoka’s talent is shooting, which sounds like it could be helpful for the type of lifestyle that earth ponies tend to live.
Kizuna Tomori: Earth mare. Honestly, I could see Kizuna as a Pegasus too, as her talent is related to performing stunts (which pegasi sometimes do as a profession), but I still choose earth pony because they can also perform much of the same athletic stuff that pegasi can.
Ayame Hatano: Pegasus mare 100%. She’s the Ultimate Sprinter since she’s the fastest runner, so what if her pony counterpart had the title of being the fastest flyer? 👀 (We got Rainbow Dash 2.0 up in the chat.)
Kanata Inori: earth mare. Her being a unicorn crossed my mind, but I was reminded of Nurse Redheart from Friendship Is Magic and I couldn’t dispel the association, so there ya go.
Kakeru Yamaguchi: Unicorn stallion. See, lawyers are typically pretty smart people, and unicorns are often stereotypes as the brainiacs of the pony world, so it checks out for me. I imagine he’d have a Big Mac-like body build as well, given how swole he is in canon.
Kinji Uehara: Unicorn stallion. ‘Nuff said.
Haruhiko Kobashikawa: Pegasus stallion. His talent pertains to aircraft and Pegasi fly. That’s it.
Satsuki Iranami: Earth mare. She’s basically the DRA version of Pinkie Pie, and I knew it’d be wrong to make her anything else.
Yamato Kisaragi: Unicorn stallion. He’s a genius; unicorns are smart. That’s it.
Mikako Kurokawa: Unicorn mare. Her talent vaguely relates to magic and spirituality, and unicorns are the only breed capable of that power.
Teruya Otori: Earth stallion. He reminds me of Pipsqueak from Friendship Is Magic.
Rei Mekaru: Unicorn mare. Does this really need an explanation?
Tsurugi Kinjo: Unicorn stallion. I could honestly see him being a Pegasus due to their speed, strength, and ferocity, but him being a unicorn reflects his intellect and philosophical side.
Yuki Maeda/Utsuro: Earth stallion. Yuki is considered a generic, bland kid with no real interesting qualities or talent. Earth ponies are the most basic form of pony and lack the magical capabilities of their unicorn and Pegasi counterparts, so it only makes sense to me he’d be a generic earth pony.
Akane Taira: Earth mare. Earth ponies are better suited to labor than the others, and what’s Tiara’s talent, if not to serve others?
I hope you enjoyed!
woah an ask! And being rambled to about dra ponies no less!!
Anyway, I think I had similar thoughts for most of these, I'll go ahead and respond to each of these...
Mitsuhiro Higa: I was between earth pony and pegasi for both him and Ayame. I considered making him a pegasus, and possibly going with the idea that he would be capable of filling both pegasi and earth pony type roles (in terms of sports, I mean) but honestly I think earth pony definitely suits him more. Strength and endurance are pretty crucial for football. Or uh, hoofball, I suppose.
Kiyoka Maki: I thought about making her a unicorn in order to have her specialize in projectile spells, but being a unicorn didn't really fit and yeah, I agree. She's one of the only members of Class 79 that seems to have a fairly ordinary home life and life in general (despite her talent) and is a lot more down to earth (haha down to earth) I think that makes earth pony the best choice. And also, earth ponies probably use tools and weapons more often as they're kind of at a disadvantage, so it fits with being a weapons expert or markspony.
Kizuna Tomori: I'll be honest, I haven't thought about where Kizuna fits in or what kind of pony she would be yet. I can't decide if a pegasi or earth pony would be better. One aspect of it that I feel like hasn't been mentioned is that pegasi characters can be more expressive or energetic (this is part of why I made Yamato a pegasi as well) I think the ability to gesture with wings could potentially fit cheering, but I do see earth pony too. Cheerleading does require strength. I'm not sure.
Ayame Hatano: I was in between pegasi and earth pony for her but you've sold me yup this makes sense. Speed = pegasi, and now we can have a rainbow dash esque character too. (Thrift is our Rarity equivalent in a lot of ways haha)
Kanata Inori: Another one of the characters I've not gotten to as much, but I wanted her to be an earth pony too. Even though a unicorn with healing magic crossed my mind, I definitely had the same feeling. Also, now that I think about it, all the doctors that come to my mind first are earth ponies. Besides Redheart, I think Ponyville's vet, and the male pediatrician in town are both earth ponies too.
Kakeru Yamaguchi: I also haven't spent much time on Kakeru yet, but unicorn is my immediate instinct too because of him being a lawyer, yeah. Definitely would be a buff pony too I think. I might have made him a kirin, considering his lawyeral persona and connection to flame, but not sure I want to have another kirin alongside Saber (even if he's only half) and his dad. Hmm... that being said, it could fit in with others perceiving him as scary... argh now I'm undecided again haha.
Kinji Uehara: Yup. He's pretty curious, thoughtful, and insightful. All of those suit being a unicorn. And I picture him having light-related spells, and his magic color being like candelight or a yellow shade. Only doubt here is that if he had wings, he could have more angel motifs, I suppose.
Haruhiko Kobashikawa: Yep yep. He has to have wings, without question. And pegasi are often more energetic and lively, which suits him.
Satsuki Iranami: I haven't decided on her either, but yeah that was kind of my initial response too! for the same reasons... I think her having some level of earth pony shenanigans going on would suit her, and yeah. Pinkie pie. What else can I say.
Yamato Kisaragi: Yamato's creativity and intelligence almost made me give him a horn. But so many of the cast I gave the unicorn status to already, I did so because of this kind of reasoning, and it felt like there were too many of them. I landed on pegasus because of how pegasi characters are sometimes shown to be more energetic and excitable, and because I liked the idea of him being able to use wings as extra 'hands'/using them expressively. That being said, I still see the unicorn idea 100% here.
Mikako Kurokawa: I am currently trying to figure Mikako out for this AU. I at first, thought unicorn too, for the same reasons, but I did consider her being an earth pony as the idea of her being a magic or spiritual specialist (and having talent in that) despite not being a unicorn, kinda meshes with the excorcist/supernatural aspect when you stick it into MLP. I think I'm more leaning toward unicorn though, as I couldn't really pin that idea down into something I felt like worked well enough. There aren't a lot of examples (besides pinkie...) of earth pony magic manifesting as other things besides strength, but earth pony magic tying into her abilities was what I was going for. Like sensing ghosts, reading minds/thoughts by vibe... I'm not sure. Like I said, I never really pinned it down, so probably going to make her a magic user. And bonus, her brother asking her to do various spells or otherwise helping him test stuff while inventing would be fun.
Teruya Otori: I was tempted to make him a unicorn for the funny factor but yeah he's definitely an earth pony. Also while I didn't consider pipsqueak while making him they're both small and pintos so I see that haha. Also I kept Thrift short even after growing up too lol. (all the ponies in this AU are adults, like the mane 6 because it fits better for my purposes) I just... I wanted him to draw him tiny and adorable. Also it's kind of fun to have one of the crafty/creative ones be an earth pony.
Rei Mekaru: Absolutely. I think it speaks for itself.
Tsurugi Kinjo: Agreed. While Tsurugi is strong-willed and strong-bodied, I felt his intelligence and mindset suited unicorn more. And of course, the half-kirin thing came later, and I fell in love with that, so. Also, I think being a unicorn suits his combat style more (magic can be used for precision attacks, shielding, and restraining enemies). Pegasi also strike me as being more free, or fluid, which Tsurugi most definitely is not. I suppose his stubbornness, difficulties with change, and rigid mindset, are the main thing you could say earth pony would align with, but yeah I still think unicorn was the best choice.
Yuki Maeda/Utsuro: 100% on Utsuro. He should be ordinary looking; it should be weird that anything supernaturally lucky is going on; and that's earth pony. Also he's just... very passive and not energetic. And being able to fly doesn't seem right for his personality/story to me either.
The only reason I made (the real) Yuki a unicorn is because I had made (DRA1) Yuki one, and I think I'm going to go back on that... I edited him without the horn and it just fits better I think.
As for (DRA1) Yuki, all I'll say is there are reasons I gave them all separate designs. (and a reason I did what I did with the Clover Shores designs) I'll wait until later to get into that. I have plans to drop some more in depth lore and things like that as I go. There are reasons I made him a unicorn. I will also say, he doesn't have any special skill with magic and mainly just uses it to pick things up.
Akane Taira: Hmm. This is a good argument. I sort of chose pegasi on a whim. I wanted more pegasi in the cast, and felt like it suited her aesthetic. However, being an earth pony is certainly associated more with lower social status in MLP and I didn't even think of the labor aspect. I'm not necessarily tied to her being a pegasus, but I do like the idea of her using her wings while performing her duties, maybe even using them to help her dust or things like that. I also have this silly image in my head of her carrying Kismet around which might have influenced this a little. (plus, if ayame is also a pegasi they could fly together which is nice)
Phew, that's all of my thoughts so far!
You got me thinking about this more. Especially the ones I haven't thought as much about yet. None of the undesigned ponies are set in stone yet, and I may change my mind about some of this once I get to designing them lol. Also, I am thinking about the characters roles in this AU and their relationships when I pick their races, too. Plus the whole numbers thing, which makes me a little picker about who gets to be a unicorn because I want to include earth ponies and pegasi too ofc.
(I also didn't even get too much into some of them being non-pony races, either... I kind of want a few more, and I do have some ideas on who and which ones...) But I'll hold off on that for now, or I'll keep going forever here lol.
Thanks for leaving an ask, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. :)
I didn't have my asks open before (oops) but asks are totally welcome, especially about this au or any other ones I may post about.
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wraith-caller · 7 months ago
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Hi, Wraith! Lemme just start by saying that I ADORE your lore posts. Your mind is incredible and I love reading your thoughts, speculations, extrapolations, etc. Which brings me to a question I’m dying to hear your thoughts for: How did Iji die? I’ve been scouring Reddit and any other forums I can find and everything I’ve found is cyclical non-answers. The obvious answer is Black Knives- because their bodies are scattered around him. This tracks because Blaidd, when you find him in front of Ranni’s Rise, is also surround by Black Knife corpses. However, this does NOT track for several reasons. First: Iji is drenched in black flame, a sorcery (power?) used by the Godskins, not the Black Knives. I’ve seen lots of people say it’s probably just an oversight on FromSoft’s part. Altogether possible, but would make me sad and I deeply want to believe it’s intentional. Second: The Black Knives are (were?) RANNI’S assassin’s. While she’s self-serving and stone-cold, she claims to love Blaidd and Iji (and tells you to tell them). I find it hard to believe she’d have them killed. MAYBE if they were only found near Blaidd (in preparation for his coming madness), I could buy it, but I’m not sure I can get onboard as it stands. Now I did find two interesting thoughts. One, someone said the Nox were recruited as the Black Knives and turned on Ranni when she killed her own body, because the plan was only to kill Godwyn and plant one of their own on the throne. I’ve never seen or found anything in my own playthroughs to support or indicate this, but it would make a lot of sense. Two, and I feel that this hinges heavily on one, someone soeculated that Gideon killed Iji. They pointed out that he uses black flame sorceries, and he definitely tries to kill any threats to his ascent to lordship. Anyway, this got WAY longer than I meant for it to be. But IF it’s a topic that interests you, I’d love to hear your thoughts! (And if not, no problem at all!) There’s definitely plenty I don’t know/understand and if I’m incorrect in any of my points above, I’d be really interested in knowing what I’m missing. I feel obligated to sign this, too, since it got away from me 😂😅 -nightingale-ghost-writer
@nightingale-ghost-writer sorry to answer this way, tumblr's not cooperating with answering asks lol. Hi!! Thank you for the kind words haha I'm happy my ramblings are of interest to others! I do hope you really enjoy a ramble bc your question sorta set me off on one here lol
I've thought about Iji's death now and then, and found some of the same answers you did about the black flame effect around his body. It may simply be a mistake by the devs like people frequently say. Especially since, iirc, there's no deathflame animation analogous to the blackflame one left on Iji. It could have been a 'close enough' kind of thing, which yeah I agree would ultimately be disappointing! However someone in this reddit thread had something interesting to point out:
"There's a weird detail, possibly an oversight: if you use a Blade of Death weapon art (for example Maliketh's Black Blade or the Gargoyle's Black Blade) on a troll, the effect looks like black flame rather than the usual red and black flame. I doubt there's a lore reason, but maybe something about how that enemy type is coded causes that effect to appear like black flame, and that also extended to Iji who uses the same model."
I haven't tested this myself, but if it's true, it lends more support to the idea it's just an unintentional effect. However, in that same thread, a few folks point out that Godskins were spotted in various places relevant to Destined Death - in the Volcano Manor and Divine Tower of Liurnia. Rykard has a piece of the Death rune, and Ranni's corpse is on the tower, along with her cursemark. It may be that they are searching for the Rune of Death themselves. Their presence in Farum Azula may suggest they were seeking to free the rune and restore the true power of the Black Flame. So while I still believe it's the Black Knife assassins who killed Iji, I suppose there is room to argue the Godskins have a stake in his death, too, in that Iji stands between them and Ranni.
While the Black Knife assassins worked with Ranni, I'm not sure that they were necessarily under her command. I think they collaborated as they both thought they could benefit from each other. Ranni would get to shed her flesh through the ritual, and the assassins of the Eternal Cities, who have beef with the Golden Order, get to strike down one of the GOs most shining and noble icons and throw the world into chaos. As you've said, they have their own agenda with ushering in the Lord of Night, who may either be an outer god or an envoy/vassal to one. This Lord may also have some connection with Ranni's Black Moon and, strangely enough, the Tibia Mariners who, in Japanese, are referred to as "Night King's Kin"(more info in this Zullie video here). The Mariners hold deathroot and raise up Those Who Live in Death, so I have been under the impression they only came into being after Godwyn's curse spread, which is of course a direct consequence of the assassination.
So while Ranni and the Assassins stood to gain from each other in this plot, their ultimate goals are sort of actually at odds. Ranni, while devoted to her Black Moon, seeks to remove the influence of Outer Gods from TLB and leave everyone to their own devices. Meanwhile, the Nox/Assassins are seeking to deliver a new one to the throne. We see indications of this struggle in Alecto's imprisonment in the evergaol at the Moonlight Altar and, if you are partial to the theory that Miquella collaborated with Ranni, in Ordina. Then there's the further evidence of the Assassins coming for Ranni's group to kill Blaidd and Iji. So I agree, I don't think Ranni had Iji killed. Like you, I could potentially see her ordering them to kill Blaidd, as she knew he'd be fated to try to destroy her. While it is cold and calculating, she does express her sympathy for him. But she is ultimately dedicated to sacrificing everything to achieve her goals. When we do find Blaidd with the dead assassins, he's not saying anything about them. He's frantically denying that he could be a danger to Ranni, as if their attack on him is connected to that. So I do see how people could connect the assassins coming for him with them being ordered by her to kill him.
But then we get into the matter of why they'd be ordered to kill Iji, and I just can't think of a good one. He's clear-minded, and not fated to betray her in the way Blaidd is as her shadowbound beast. I've seen people claim it's a matter of 'tying up loose ends' but I can't imagine in what way he'd be a 'loose end' given that he's entirely faithful to her. Loose ends are tied up because they pose a threat. What threat is Iji to Ranni and her goals if he is emphatically supporting her to the very end? And then when I think of Alecto in the evergaol, I'm really inclined to believe it's purely a matter of bad blood between Ranni's group and the assassins after the conspiracy was through. It may even be that we led them to her, as her whereabouts were previously unknown until we found her(though you'd hope people would uh check her home before declaring her missing?? lol).
That being said, I kind of like your idea about Gideon's involvement. Some elements of that make sense. I'm not sure how much he knows of Ranni, since he says they don't actively seek her out due to her having cast off her rune. While he generally seems to send lackeys to go do his dirty work, the Carian Manor could be a pit stop he made on the way into Leyndell. He may have somehow or other learned of Ranni's whereabouts, learned she was behind the conspiracy, but what I struggle with is him learning her motivation for it. She reveals this to us only after we've spent some time in her service. So did Gideon suspect her of being after the throne? Would he have known she wanted to rid the world of all the troubling influences of the Outer Gods? If he did, would that be much of a threat to his desire to become a lord? While he wouldn't be an Elden Lord, there'd still be power to be had in a world without the Golden Order. And the power vacuum left in the wake of Ranni achieving her goals would seem like a good opportunity for him to position himself in a leadership role. But I'll be honest, I don't fully understand him and his revelations about Marika's will, and how that effects his perspective. By the end of it he seems to think vying for Elden Lord is a futile struggle and that the whole thing is just a meat grinder that Tarnished are being fed into. So does he even still want that power by the end, if he believes it to be utterly unobtainable? Still, it's not entirely unbelievable that he would eliminate potential threats to that power before he comes to that fatalistic conclusion.
Okay, anyway, I hope all of this makes some sense!! Thanks for the interesting ask and for sharing your theories about this strange little mystery!!!
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snufflepup · 18 days ago
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Sorry it took me like forever to send in another ask. I walked my ex home to her house and missed my bus so my mom had to pick me up and she beat my ass and my shoes got so worn that i had holes in them lol. Totally worth it though, cause I got time with her. Honestly I'm torn between still being with her or loving all on you, cause I mean I love her so so much despite how badly she fucked me up. Im pathetic ik, but I also have come to love you just as much :(. Also one word to sum up the southeast, HOT (kinda like you~) and the bugs are crazy. People are pretty shit, I think I live in what's called the 'Bible belt' so that's pretty fucked considering I'm trans and not straight and everyone's a dick. Though there are some good people. While walking my ex to her house, we stopped by a convenience store and tried to buy some monsters with my cashapp but it wouldn't work for whatever reason, and this nice lady at the register bought them for us^^ she was nice and pretty, I couldn't thank her enough. Though most people, especially that I go to school with, would rather beat me up than talk to me about even partner work lol. Cis boys are....not the most accepting of people like me, I've come to find haha. All the girls in my classes are two faced as shit too. I'm glad I'm able to fluster you like that, though I wish I was more...'flirtatiously adept' like milena. I'm not good with people lol. I can talk and carry a conversation, but not very good with it in terms of flow and word choice. I'm in ap lit though, so I mean it's not like I'm not a master with words or something (I actually pride myself in my ability to write despite not thinking really) its just the delivery. Like when you talk to someone you like and just go stupid lol. Idk I'm probably just rambling out of exhaustion, today was a lot for me. But I'm glad I get to come home and talk to my favorite puppy ever!^^ how's your day been? -idk if I asked that earlier or not, I'm tired lol. Ik it's around 2 am for you at the moment, are you eepy? Lol
-ike<3
It's okay ! I know that I am . Less than punctual . at times, it would be rather strange for me to get upset over it when others do the same thing, I think. That sounds pretty eventful ! I've walked so much I did the same things to my shoes, as well !! Nobody belived me, until they actually saw the holes though. I think it's okay to feel like that, but in the end you should do what is best for you in the long run but ! I know it is not always as easy as that ! I was still holding onto hope with one of my ex's for a while after . everything went down so I think I can understand that ! (。>\\<) aaa !! I think I would simply melt if it was that hot here /dram I think I saw a video once of someone talking about it was so cold they needed a scarf for the tempreture of our hot summers a couple years ago . I was shocked . We have a lot of different types of bugs that are all year round, but I don't think they are as big as some of the ones I've heard about over there which I am thankful for, bugs can really mess with me a lot sometimes ! Bugs where a pretty big fear of mine for a while, other than like . regukar ones, like spiders, flies, lady bugs and stuff, but I think I'm a lot better with all different kinds now !! Though, my Aunt was talking about something that happened with one of he bins and maggots and I got so . fhdghsj /neg about it, Lets just say I declined seeing any pictures for a start . I think there is a good mix around where I am, I don't think there is as much hate for differences here as there is in other places but there are definitely a lot of . use of slurs, or hateful language at times, if that makes sense but I feel like I also see a lot of queer people too, when I go places at least ! Earlier I went to a anime convention this year and there was a lot of people with pride flags, selling queer things and stuff so ! But I don't . really think I could come out propperly right now either, not as transmasc at least, but thats more of my family than where I live I guess . That was really nice of her !!! I'm happy she helped you out ! Do you have a favourite flavour of monster ? I don't get it all the time, but I usually get the white or the pink one when I do !! I tried a purple-ish one once that I really enjoyed, but I haven't been able to find it since because I don't really remember looks like (◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ) I think so too . They can be really . difficult . a lot of them, from my classes when I was at school, were really not very nice. When Inwas there, I only really talked to people and my friends that I already knew. . . I didn't really get close with others, but we basically atopped talking when I left school a lot earlier than we were supposed too. I think I can be pretty bad at like . all of that stuff . I can be good at just, like, saying things sometimes, though I'm sure it's mostly nothing of value . and even then, sometimes I can be bad at that too !! I try my best though but I'm not a master at all, either ! I think ramballing is nice, so you don't need to worry ^–^ I hope today is not as overwhelming, but still as good ! or, even better !!! Has it been ? (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) ! I think my day was okay yesterday, it had it's ups amd downs ! Today was good though ! I was, I think I was already asleep at that time even though I tried my best not too . How has your day been ?
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vaguely-concerned · 9 months ago
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Evil Campaign/Zeblue Thoughts Extravaganza
This is a merry mishmash mess of reactions, transcriptions of some important scenes from the podcast, notes for my fics, and general happily unhinged ramblings about the Campaign: Star Wars Evil Campaign! Don't... don't look at the wordcount please
- blue definitely for sure would be dead a thousand times over if it weren't for zero but I also wish to point out that when blue was out for one night zero lost two arms and almost got annihilated by force lightning. blue is zero's emotional support little bitch boy and clearly his functioning without him goes down catastrophically
- blue's little holo-screen saver zero that goes 'I love you!' when it goes away and the fact that by the finale he's added a little holo-screen saver blue to keep him company, I'm just -- aaaaaah
between that and how earnestly giddy and glowing blue gets about how cool synox is as soon as he knows that synox can't hear him... zero I kind of get it. you're still bonkers for it of course but I do see where you're coming from I sort of want to stop him from getting thrown off any more roofs too even though he provably deserves it. No one who makes a little chibi Zero holo who says ‘I love you!’ when he’s just like bored is completely rotten all the way through, I agree with Zero there’s something in there that’s worth it 
- can u believe that zero's first real appearance is leenik barely scratching his chest as if with a fingernail and then he just. chops leenik's hand clean off in one turn and moves on with his life. and he gives a shrug emoji about all the grievous bodily harm he's caused when blue tells him to stand down. He bombards blue’s inbox with cat memes. In his spare time he’s a DJ. He can crunch a man’s rib cage like a soda can with barely a flick of his wrist. He knows the tango. the perfect marriage of terrifying murdermachine and goofball
- "Zero, talk some sense into me or him" hfjdksafhsakjd obviously hilarious in itself but also... damn blue trusts zero SO MUCH
- Just me gathering some info together in one place: Zero bleeds blue, and whatever happened to him before he got his cybernetics was extensive enough that it left him on life support, so he originally turned this amount of cyborg more out of necessity than anything it sounds like. (From what they say about gank culture he probably had some modifications before that too, since Tubaik is notable for being the one person we know going ‘nah bro miss me with that shit’ completely.) He says something like ‘have you ever had to regrow a face?’ to Aava, and when there’s the whole ‘just because you can’t tell that she’s armed doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t’ thing with the possessed Force lady he says something like ‘lost a limb last time I made an assumption like that’. He’s clearly got some Issues around it — warns Aava that ‘it isn’t pretty back there’ when she asks to see his face behind the helmet, the dark side mind reading pulls out ‘there’s no power that you possess with your broken body that could ever hope to save him’ from him. He’s 53% cybernetics, making him just barely more machine than man haha. His legs are at least partially cybernetic — he has them glutes and thighs Synox is checking out. Someone says something about an exoskeleton at one point, but I’m not sure how seriously we’re meant to take that, it might have been a joke. His first appearance in Campaign proper really emphasizes that he has one cybernetic eye, but it doesn’t really come up again once the character solidifies so *shrug* I suppose he might still have that going on behind the helmet screen. He has a math chip in his head and he regrets installing it because he hates math. I love him very much
At this point I’ve stopped trying to get actual Star Wars canon ganks to make sense and declared that as far as I’m concerned hashtag Kanan gank facts reign supreme. As such: Kat agrees on calling Tubaik ‘a fox-dog sort of person’ (and jesting comparisons are drawn to various Starfox characters lol). A little under six feet tall (most wolf/cat/dog species are GIANT, for no reason [transcriber’s note: it’s for the sake of blue and the furries]). Rangy, with a short muzzle. I think Zero is probably even a bit taller than Tubaik, since Blue is actually pretty tall and Zero is noticeably taller than him again, from the Vibes.  
In short: Edge of the Empire ganks look cool as fuck in an edgy teenage guilty pleasure character design kind of way, canon Star Wars ganks look like absolute bow-legged dorks
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- blue instinctively calling out for zero first thing after coming around from being stunned and zero reflexively asking blue if he's alright before being like 'wait wait why am I asking you that when the solarium's open to space and you’ve been standing here the whole time go help synox' fhsdfa
- (blue re: the story behind synox' butt tattoo lol) "Details? and will this story not make me cry, like the last one?" lmao oh that's... so cute to me somehow. Gather round for war story time with good old Uncle Synox (17) on the Bluebird. 
- Hilarious that Blue and Aava are both like ‘hell, Synox, don’t be so down on yourself, you’re a catch!’ and Zero takes a hard stance of ‘he’s mid at best honestly sry :I’ fhdskjfa. Guess Zero goes more for twinks 
- I am building out a lot of dramatic backstory for Zero in this that isn’t even hinted at anywhere in the original text, but I do think I’m backed up by the self-evident truth that anyone who’d fall in love with Blue already must have something deeply wrong with them 
- Blue’s momentary sincere tired incredulity that Corvanus (Corvanas? Who knows) is trying to tell him they’re just buying food and medicine on Metalorn is so funny to me fhsjdfhas. Also the fact that he is SO ready to double-cross everyone immediately. Like no doubt in my mind that he would have fucked over corvanus too as soon as it became the least bit convenient to him, but he really does go and collude with a rebel in his very first arc because some guy kind of annoyed him and it might serve his interests. He’s been a minister for like. A month and a half at this point. Stunning. Splendid. No notes. He’s got the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair and it fills me with wonder and affection in equal measure. 
- added bonus and new entry into the Blue Hypocrisy Hour gameshow: zero calls blue ‘kid’ not half an hour before they meet with the condescending rival minister and blue doesn’t even react. He really said ‘zero’s got roasting rights over me and you do not. The punishment is death btw make peace with whatever god you think will stoop to taking you in’ 
- ZERO HAVING BLUE’S LIFE SIGNS UP IN HIS HUD WHILE HE’S IN THE HOSPITAL AND CONSTANTLY CHECKING IT FOR REASSURANCE *insert elmo surrounded by flames gif here*  
- The way Tyler makes Zero’s voice slightly higher and softer when he’s out of the helmet… emotional terrorism specifically directed upon me and my person
-“Where’s Blue? Is Blue okay?”
augh……………………………
- man I love aava. What an interesting character. Like the very idea of anyone taking Tamlin away from the Mynock crew makes my heart shatter into a thousand pieces but it is easy to see where she’s coming from. 
- Blue twirls his hair around his finger when he gets bashful and Zero knows that………… omg
Also another testament to Blue’s ultimate character I think: he sends himself fake fanmail (lmao) superficially to praise himself and his work, but actually to ask Zero for reassurance that they’ll be together to the end and to tell him how important he is to him in just… the most bafflingly roundabout elaborate non-committal way fhdsja. Like yeah he is a raving egomaniac but under that is always ‘...but do you like. Like me?? We’re friends right???’. He doesn’t deserve it but I do kind of feel for him. imagine facing the mortifying ordeal and indignity of being twenty years old and the most pathetic person alive. Shudder. Glad that’s over with at least 
- Say what you want about Blue but truly he is not a coward. He doesn’t even scream when Tryst shoots out his kneecap and in fact does not back it down with the attitude at all afterwards. Fhdskjafs he asks Tryst to carry him and makes him! (like yeah yeah we already know you’re gay blue). Literally too insufferable to be cowed. Isn’t the capacity of the human spirit spiked with caf and megalomania beautiful
- Commander Synox and the happy private world of ‘Pincer Maneuver :)’. I love him so incredibly much
- I want you to know that my insanity levels have reached the point that I’ve trawled fucking twitter for content. I’ve been using the search function on twitter. Yes I am desperate. Yes half of the posts are gone even aside from the awful format twitter already imposes. I have spent hours in the Musky muck for a scattered few nuggets of gold and it has been worth it but STILL entering a small fandom years later is a special kind of hell and I would not wish it on my worst enemy (this was written before musk went ahead and crashed the whole thing definitively into the iceberg early in June 2023 lmao. My point still stands tho. The things you do for love)
- Zero describing working directly for the empire as ‘ew, gross’ is so funny lmao. Okay buddy you keep desperately repressing your own complicity I understand why  
- “Master? Thaaaat’s — I gotta tell you, that… Friend? Employer? Confidante? Drinking buddy? He’s, he’s a good guy. Uh…”
<3 &lt;3 <3 also the way he immediately tries to walk it back with ‘it’s mostly professional istg’ and then by the end of the arc (so literal hours later) he gives it up as a bad job and just. Is so sweet and gay about it while aava is right there and can see it. The zero in agent zero stands for ‘no (0) chill whatsoever’. (also ‘confidante’ along with some of the dialogue they have when they’re alone in a scene implies some very sweet things about their relationship to me and I’m glad Zero has found this in his life even tho it does also mean being inextricably connected to one of the most exasperating people in the galaxy lol)   
- Agent ‘yes he is incredibly annoying yes I would kill, die and live for him hope that helps’ Zero and Aava ‘it really doesn’t but good for you honey’ Arek; Ultimate Bros. They really became best bros after hanging out for one (admittedly mutually harrowing) day huh
- The fact that Blue and Zero coordinate their outfits and vehicles, including Zero’s arm… 
- does zero eat ice cream through a straw. He must, right. These are the important questions. Hopefully he and blue figure their shit out asap so he can have his helmet off comfortably and experience eating ice cream with a spoon again at least in a private setting b/c that is Sad to me somehow
- “You just asked me to go to the gala with you, with documents that I forged, to show up another minister! What could possibly be more romantic than that?” and “I need a trophy husband!!” (Aava: “*genuinely bewildered* and why does that equate to a dress in your mind???”) *sniffle* I’m so used to giving and now I get to receive —
The fact that Blue apparently had that dress made to Zero’s measurements before he knew about the gala too is very… Blue Blue we need to talk, explain the strange workings of your mind here please some of the implications across this whole arc — mind boggling, flabberghasting, deranged in the most delightful way there is something so deeply wrong with this man (affectionate despite myself)
- there’s nothing that makes me clutch my face and weep like contemplating all the ways Synox and Bacta are actually very similar. And yet. And still. And here we are and these are the things we’ve done to each other brother. It’s such an interesting way to show off character, having two people with so many shared basic instincts (they are the nature’s Team Dad wet blankets (affectionate) of their respective crews lol) who make such different moral choices about it and end up in such different situations.
- “Love’s a bind. Feelings. Bind” fhdsakj oh zero. Also why did you think having a poetry book about this just casually on you would be less incriminating 
- I have a big place in my heart for Aava/Synox. Knowledge of exact placement of buttcheek tattoo? Canonical fake dating backstory to work with? Aava will call him things like ‘babe’ and Mr. Synox ‘that’s not regulation ma’am’ doesn’t even lift an eyebrow? yes good excellent wonderful (tbh I also quite like tryst/aava and synox/that one art thief nemesis from the dear bluebird letter — campaign star wars is one of the extremely rare pieces of media where I’m mostly a multishipper. It’s only blue and zero who have got such a weird intense obsessive thing going on with each other that I can’t really see (or wish it upon lol) anyone else getting in on it on that level, other than that all combinations are pretty plausible to me and I can see this sea of queer disasterness freely intermingling haha. Thank u campaign for letting me taste the peace and equanimity it is to be a multishipper, I’m normally out there putting all my eggs in one emotion basket like a damn fool) 
- It’s so funny that Zero just lets Blue decide the colours his arms come in. Big ‘happily letting his partner buy his underwear for him kinda man’ energy despite how stylish he is otherwise
- Synox may be the character that makes me laugh the most in all of Campaign. There’s just something about his dry nasal little straight man voice saying something awful that tickles me so very much. I love him utterly you all just don’t know him like I do listen — 
- Synox: “I will say — I really admire the cybernetic thighs and, uh, and glutes that Zero — 
Blue, vehemently agreeing just a little too quickly to not have given this A Lot of thought himself: “Sturdy.”
Synox: “-- that Zero has, yeah.”
Blue: “Sturdy.”
Zero: “Powerhouse.” 
Synox: “Very firm and sturdy, able to withstand any sort of rocking on the ground or anything like that… Sometimes, in the heat of battle, I find myself admiring just how well those machines function.” 
Zero: “...wait, are you checking me out in battle? I mean, that’s fine, but —”
Synox: “Just to make sure —”
Blue, darkly in the background: “No, he isn’t.” 
Synox: “ — make sure your firm is standing… is standing tall and proper.”
Zero: “Why are you sweating so much?”  
Synox, strangled: “Is it hot in here? Is it?” 
Blue: “I’m only gonna say this once. Synox, back off.”  
What a way to send the Evil Campaign off honestly
- Blue casually saying it took like 15 to 20 minutes for him to decide he wanted Zero around for life I’m just — Blue will literally say the most insanely sweet and romantic things solely and only when he’s not aware he’s doing it huh
- for someone whose blorbo love language is fondly dragging them I haven’t made fun of zero nearly enough in this but like… remember when his main objection to blue’s (patently insane) ‘we need to get a kid to pretend to be a perfect nuclear family for the cameras’ idea was ‘yeah I’ve got like nineteen hours to work with here blue I can’t make that happen for you’. That was where he decided the problem was with this. OK simp king
- Zero’s real and deep love for Blue truly comes out in the fact that after all these years he still insists on trying to teach him self defense on a regular basis. The boy’s a twig zero he’s more of a danger to himself than to anyone else and I refuse to believe he could even make it through a pushup. And yet I understand why you must at least try  
- Blue going ballistic at the dude on Metalorn for calling him a kid while being like ‘well you know what difference of opinion here but fair enough I can respect that!’ at Synox aCTUALLY POINTING A FUCKING BLASTER AT HIM AND FIRING TWICE… blue I love you you are strange and unhinged and your priorities are rancid
- Credit where it’s due: Blue’s plan for taking over Phindar for the Empire is actually kind of clever; I wonder if that was something he’d planned for a while or if he came up with that one basically from the hospital bed? He has apparently been going to BHIKKE with Zero for years (even if he does nothing but complain the whole time, predictably, lol and Zero referring to him as ‘his date’ awww) so I can see how the idea could have been percolating in the back of his mind. Either way it’s not a lot of recovery time between the whole getting thrown off a roof thing and the broadcast he does. You get to see so many of his foibles and neuroses in the Evil campaign that it’s easy to forget he actually like. Succeeds at stuff quite frequently too lol Zero has such faith in him for a reason I guess. Did he reach his position by being insane??? (I mean yeah that too. Also Tarkin apparently just collects younger evil gays he’s going to throw in the trash and steal all the accomplishments of once it becomes convenient so that probably did something here. A Krennick is a coincidence, a Krennick and Blue is a pattern)  
- Blue: “I’m not concerned with that position. What I am concerned about is personal goals. And that is something I have in spades. I don’t know what your personal goals are, Aava; that’s why I can’t connect with you. But I have goals, I have aspirations, I have things that I want to complete, and when I complete these things, it makes me whole.”
Aava: “And they don’t have to do with getting any sort of recognition from the Empire?” 
Blue: [sounding faintly puzzled to be asked] “No.” 
This is where my brainrot truly set in I think. ‘When I complete these things, it makes me whole’ and suddenly you understand so much more of what the fuck he’s doing and why it’s never going to work and I’m just — SCREAMING. You fool. You poor stupid idiot. For Zero’s sake if nothing else I wish you a very get well soon and get your priorities in order (tbf the dice stepped up on this one later in the arc I think there’s reason to hope)  
-  Raxus:“I can feel you. You are clever to have gotten this far. But I can feel your fear. Fear of death. But not yours — how noble. You fear the death of another.”
Zero: “I’m not — you’re not in my head.” 
R: “The one you care for… you’re a very nurturing creature. You create these attachments very easily. Looking for a smaller, weaker thing to be the strong arm for.” 
Z: “Get out of my head.”
R: “YES! Anger! Yes! That is what I want. Yes, your anger and your fear — hmm, it slakes the hunger of the Fanged God.” 
Z: “You don’t know — you don’t know what you’re talking about, you don’t know me.” 
R: “I know everything that I need to know about you. I have tasted the blood of the warrior you are many times before. So often do your feelings drive you to victory… but you face the Fanged God now. You’ll be a worthy sacrifice. And after our battle, I will find him, and I will strike him down. Know this: his death is fated. The Fanged God will taste his blood, and there’s no power that you possess with your broken body that could ever hope to save him.”
New ping to Aava: “Zero: Kriff. (transcriber’s note: lol) She sees me. Or she… feels me.”
+ (about Aava trying to save the possessed lady with a ritual instead of killing her) Zero: “We have two different objectives. She threatened Blue!”
So fucking sexy across the whole spectrum tbh. Emotionally dramatically psychologically sexually interpersonally narratively, this fucks. Zero is the ultimate service top and I support him so much. He’s A Very Nurturing Creature and he found this pathetic ginger trash racoon baby in a dumpster doing the knife cat meme; he never stood a chance. Also so kinky fhsadkfhsa he. Enjoys being wielded, does he. Goodness. 
Aava saving Raxus from Zero’s righteous wrath only to have Synox swing in and shoot her dead right after is PEAK comedy and I’m so happy about it
- Aava and Zero teaming up to come up with brand new silly nicknames for Synox casually through a conversation is so blessed. Aava comes out with ‘Syclone’ at one point fhkdjfhask. Syguy. Syclopse, even.
- Transcript of The scene after the gala:
As Aava and Zero are having this conversation directly in front of Blue, Blue’s head just sorta sinks down again. And his whole body sinks down — he just drops to the ground, sits on his ass, puts his back to the bannister that’s behind him. Throws his cane off to the side. 
B:“It’s been a mess of a night. It’s been a mess of a life. I — I came from, what some would say a lot, what some would say was very little, to, to make a name, and I’ve — I’ve made a name, I have made a name that I thought matters. But every time I come to one of these events, I’m the butt of the joke. I’m the butt of the joke before I get here, I’m the butt of the joke while I’m here, I’m the butt of the joke to my face; my friends who came with me — I’m the butt of the joke right in front of them. Right now… how am I supposed to function in that type of environment? How can any person deal with that level of stress? The only thing I am is what a success I am, and I am not actually a success. I’ve convinced one person in the entire Empire to give me a shot, and that was Grand Moff Tarkin; I have done one thing successful in my entire career, and — I sit in a room with people laughing at me. 
Zero, you wanna go home? Go home. I pay for a bodyguard, not because I need a bodyguard, I pay for a bodyguard so you’ll be here. Aava?”
A: “Mhmm?”
B: “You’re an evil, evil space witch.”
A: “Morality is real relative, Blue. I take exception to ‘evil’, and I wish you wouldn’t use it.” 
B: “And you have very annoying beliefs on philosophy. But you are one of the few people I trust in a deadly situation, and that’s why I asked you to be here.”
A: “...at a gala?”
B: “Does it get any more deadly?” 
A: [crestfallen] “YES! Blue… yes.” She sinks down on her knees next to him. “These things aren’t that scary.”
B: “You can handle these things.” 
A: “Yeah.”
B: “I — listen. I know you see me as a rock.” 
Z: [Flatly & immediately] “No. No one sees you like that. You’re like…”
B: [:’( ] “Really?”
Z: “Yeah. You’re like… at best you’re wet sand. Like, you’re able to take a lot of different shapes, but —”
B: [interspersed]  “These — these are the insults to — to my name and — I — very hurtful—”
Z: “ — but at any kind of, like, opposition — a water current, even a little bit of rain, and you start crumbling apart.”
A: “There’s a difference —”
B: “Knives to my heart right now.”
A: “ — a difference between an insult and an observation.”
Z: “Yeah…”
B: “Uh, I’m not, I’m not seeing the difference between the two in this particular instance.”
Z: “No, keep going, keep going, I feel like we got a bit, side tracked you with…”
B: “Yeah, you did, okay, where were we — you all see me as a rock.”
Z: “Nah. I gotta say — again… no, we should — ”
A: “You’re very shaky. As an individual.”
Z: “Yeah. Mhm.”
A: “Both physically and mentally.”
Z: “It’s real easy to get under your skin, and I feel like — like once, you do it one time and the whole week is ruined, and…”
B: “I’m a sensitive guy, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.” 
Z: “Okay, okay, yeah — continue. Just, not a rock, but, uh, continue. [muttering all in one breath] Okay go ahead.” 
B: “You all see me as a rock. But I’m actually a sensitive guy. Every now and then you can see glimpses through, to the true Blue. And I’m a little blue, sometimes. Events like this, I thought this would be — this would be my time. Could show up someone, could be Blue, I wouldn’t be…the guy being laughed at, wouldn’t be the kid. That’s what they call me in that room, you know it.”
A: [softly] “You’re pretty young.”
Z: [also more softly] “Yeah, man.”    
B: “I don’t like being called a kid. I don’t like being treated like a kid. I don’t like being treated like the person who doesn’t belong in that room. Zero, did anyone think you didn’t belong in that room? Aava, did anyone think you didn’t belong in that room?”
A: “Probably.” 
Z: “No.”
A: “You don’t know that.”
B: “I do know that!”
A: [sighs] “They also don’t believe Zero belongs there. Because, the thing is — he’s a bodyguard. And I’m an alien. And there are starting to become problems with being an alien. Are you not paying attention to what the Empire is doing, Blue?”
B: [slightly affronted] “I’m paying very close attention to what the Empire is doing. Yes, there are xenophobic people in here, but that’s not the large reach of the Empire. (tone implies a little bit of a …?)”
A: “It’s also what you are promoting. It’s what you’re creating.”
B: “Hm, you gotta do what they want you to do, to a degree.” 
A: “Right, I’m not talking about that, I’m just saying that — that’s the increasingly predominant culture.”
B: “...do you think so?”
A: “Yes.”
B: “So you don’t feel like you belong here either?”
A: “No.”
B: “Zero, do you feel like you belong here?”
Z: “Aaah, I don’t belong here, and I don’t wanna be here.”
B: “Well, the ship doesn’t get back for another four hours. And if the three of us don’t belong in that room… why don’t we order some damn drinks and have our own little party here?”
Z: “I talked to the guy at the bar, uh, he says he’s gonna be breaking out the cherry mimosas soon. Maybe get a sneak peak at that guy, and… I don’t know, maybe see if we can get access to Jakar’s cruiser and… mess up the engine?”
A: “Yes! Yes!”
B: “I’m fully on board with this.” 
A: “Yes! Yes!”
B: “Waiter! Three mimosas and the largest wrench you have!”
Ah yes here it is… ground zero for my all-encompassing insanity. Can u believe that the dramatic climax of the Evil Campaign as it ended up is just proving once and for all that Blue has a soul somewhere in there. It took a dice roll damn near close to divine intervention, but we got there. The Force is real and it ships Zeblue. 
- the fact that the pivotal moment at the end of the evil campaign is blue rolling a fucking insight check on himself. Like that check was not about aava or zero b/c they’ve spelled their side of it out Very Clearly. That was just to find out if Blue has any idea about his own bullshit. He basically just obliviously speedran processing Some Shit about internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality in a frenzy and in the least graceful way imaginable and made it the problem of everyone he loves and that was the subtextual background theme, there was so much other stupid shit going on in the foreground the whole time as well. Wild. what a strange and beautiful world we live in. what a weird little dude (affectionate). Zero’s weird little dude. Also genuinely that conversation leading up to it was more stressful to me than 90% of all horror movies lol you do not need an action scene to keep me riveted you just have to offer up some prom night drama and I’m out here biting my nails. The fellow autistic ‘blue you are getting an F- in being a person something that is possible to achieve and normal to dread’ trauma response 
- Zero (RIGHTFULLY!) being so hurt and mad at Blue and still just holding his caf and giving it to him after he’s finished his own… I’m sorry 0ni it’s love and it’s terminal
- Also Zero is extremely valid for being upset about all the shit Blue pulls in that arc but there is also the element of like… some of the lack of clarity in that relationship is on Zero too for taking the easy out of claiming he’s mostly in it for the paycheck again and again. Like for god’s sake don’t let the little trash man off the hook for any of the nonsense that just went down but you have also not been communicating what you want from this, and he is actually doing his best to provide you with the stuff you have told him you want. He’s SO interpersonally stupid and you know this, you know him, he is not going to miraculously sprout the ability to intuit your deepest hopes and dreams from nothing, especially when you specifically keep deflecting away from them fjhsdkjhfa you can’t both keep playing chicken forever
They clearly have a really intense and intimate connection and seemingly have from very early on (again blue says it took him fifteen minutes to know he wanted zero around for life so like jot that down I guess wtf), but the heavy romantic and sexual undertones to their relationship (at least in any mutual or realized way) are presumably quite a recent development — Blue met and hired Zero when he was 14/15 and from the Vibes I’d say Zero is probably about a decade older (ETA: checked the wiki and campaign twitter and that does indeed seem to be right); he seems to have had a pretty storied career and a huge life-changing injury he’d cyborged himself through already. So for the first time Zero knew him, Blue was a kid, and you can absolutely see traces of that in how they interact sometimes. Not quite parental or older brother territory, but certainly a sort of nurturing caretaking thing that makes a lot of sense once you know Zero was around for Blue’s most undignified teenage years and probably is the only reason he survived them because you know he was pissing so many people off left and right haha. 
In the Metalorn arc especially we repeatedly see Blue turning to Zero for guidance more like you would from a guardian than a bodyguard or employee or even a friend. (See: the “Awww but I wanted to rampage :(“/”We’ll go out and rampage some other day, buddy, does that sound okay?” convo especially haha but that same vibe pops up in lots of places. Actually taking the advice Zero gives is another thing entirely of course.) There’s also his complete conviction in Zero’s abilities that edges on the touchingly naive — “You’re Zero!”, like more than anything that’s got an edge to it of the utter faith a small kid has that their parent can do anything, because they always fix things.
We never hear anything about Blue’s parents and he certainly seems to be completely in control of his own estate and money, so my assumption is that they’re probably dead? My personal headcanon is that he hired Zero because his parents died (read: were politically assassinated) and wanted both security and revenge, but even aside from that I think we can read from his entire *gestures vaguely* deal that there was some deeply lacking parenting going on from the beginning haha I think I said somewhere before that if any character has ever had My Parents Never Loved Me energy it’s Blue.
And then you get to the place in the timeline where the actual podcast runs, where Blue is a grown man now, and they’re much closer to actually being equals in some ways and it’s opened ahem some new doors, but also the seesaw of their dynamic haven’t quite settled into that balance yet (and has some real hurdles they need to clear re: the employer/employee aspect of it all as well, messy power balances all around here) and it’s a bit of a Struggle, which is some of the subtextual throughline I’m seeing through their whole arc. 
So while of course part of the imbalance in their relationship is that Blue is Zero’s employer, and also wields power politically in ways Zero doesn’t (and couldn’t, because of the anti-alien policies of the Empire) and also is awful in his own strange special little ways that must be pretty hard to live with lol, there’s also all this other stuff, like the age gap where Zero is older, more experienced and capable out in the world and in relationships (also more psychologically stable in general but that’s damning with faint praise I suppose), and that their relationship must have shifted in some key ways quite recently as Blue is growing into adulthood. It’s so weird and messy and interesting at the same time that it’s oddly comforting and domestic and incredibly mutually tender-hungry and I am obsessed with it. Most of my writing energy has probably gone into picking apart ‘...so why doesn’t this feel creepy’ 
- Sort of adjacent but also fascinated by how, to Zero, Blue seems to be some insane combination of ward and liege lord (as a public thing much much more so than a private one I think but no matter what it seems deeply kinky haha) and friend and boss and brother and purpose and partner and someone he’s clearly grown to desperately want to kiss in recent years despite the warning signs etc. What if you were one of the coolest guys in the galaxy and you met a terrible little nerd guy who gives your life meaning. Zero having such a drive towards being something to someone. He likes being the right hand, the sword, and what does mutuality look like here. It’s a delicious sort of equal partners/conspirators and fealty dynamic going on it’s very interesting
- Zero’s priorities are hilarious and wonderful to me honestly. Working, however indirectly, for an Empire that is, for sure, very eager to eradicate him and people like him eventually? Mild unease and distaste at worst, eh, it’s a living, in this economy what can you do, I go where he goes. Blue not paying attention to him for 24 hours? Meltdown. Personal and spiritual crisis. I cannot live or thrive under these conditions. 
- is it logistically likely that Blue has never seen Zero’s face under the helmet before? Probably not, honestly, it’s been like six to seven years and presumably he must at least have done research on Zero to have hired him in the first place. Is it thematically delicious if he hasn’t but some day soon will? Yes. And that trumps everything else lol 
- The fact that the Bluebird crew have karaoke nights and ice cream Sundays. And Synox is being so brave about it. 
- Blue going “We are in public!” to Zero. married vibes. Also the choice of calling the hired killer he employs ‘pretty’ while he’s moving him around (which Zero must be partially letting him do because he would need to tense one (1) muscle to resist all the force Blue is physically capable of extending). Many thoughts. 
- What if Blue’s family was like… nouveau riche though. What if the wealth happened in the generation of his grandparents at most and it was based in some sort of ingenious patent in agricultural engineering or whatever because they were farmers originally. Genuinely groundbreaking stuff in that field that increased agricultural yields across the galaxy (or some significant amount of biomes, at least) and everything, but hardly something to build a political career on in the Empire. Making sense of how completely disdainful Blue gets at the idea of being a farmer because Blue is nothing if not a complete hypocrite lol
This also makes some sense out of him having both seemingly unlimited funds but also a mountain-sized chip on his shoulder to me haha. He never denies that the credits sure do help kickstart a career, but at least in his mind (BIG YMMV disclaimer on the actual facts of the situation of course lol) he’s also starting from a disadvantageous situation in other ways. He says: ‘I came from what some would say was a lot, what some would say was very little, to make a name’ (implying the name has not ‘been made’ before him, despite the embarrassment of resources his family clearly has had at their disposal?). Having him be from a non-warrior clan in Mandalorian culture and/or an established family who’d fallen entirely out of relevancy until very recently is my solution but also it’s fun that as short as this campaign is there’s enough great Stuff in it to make for this amount of theorizing haha. 
ETA: so I scoured the campaign twitter back to 2016 (*gentle sobs are heard in the background*) and apparently Blue’s parents were pacifists and (from what I could read out of it) probably connected to Satine’s system/new nobility! This matches up pretty well with what I’m going for already so that’s nice
- Commander ‘Overprotective Dad’ Synox sending a whole little squad of stormtroopers for Aava and Zero after their speeder blows up…………… 
- zeblue is just… 
Zero: *sigh* I want to fuck him so bad it makes me look silly😔
Blue, heartbroken and jealous: WHO??? Who is this mystery man I must kill I mean vet before you kiss him
Aava: you do look very silly but unfortunately I am in no position to judge
- Synox sending Blue reading material about traditional Mandalorian warrior culture because it’s Their Heritage and Blue being like ‘lol. Lmao.’ and not reading a word of it is sooooo… listen their dynamic has Layers. There’s some Stuff going on here. It’s Mandalorian fuckery all the way down. Blue is Mandalorian and fits much better in the mold Satine tried to fit the culture into, but he uses that to dedicate all his time and energy to presenting Synox, who’s in that weird liminal space of Mandalorianness of all clones what with their training and origins, as a new modern soldier’s ideal for the Empire but shorn of all distinctness or cultural specificity and that’s the thing they make together for the Empire. There’s that disdain in Blue’s view of the culture he comes from, and yet he has such a good eye for the appeal of elements of it in Synox (and also a lot of stuff about the presentation of masculinity in here haha. Blue has a Fine Eye for it. Who knows why. Could be no reason at all. Who’s to say) 
Also probably not something to read into but from Synox’ comments, Blue’s music sounds notably non-Coruscanti (what it does sound like, presumably, is ‘a fucking cacophony’)  
- Zero and Blue audibly high fiving in the background when Zero gets the ‘I’d never betray you’ right on the second try fsdfjad ah Friendship
- “why do you need a bodyguard?” 
“Look at me!”
Amazing self-own from blue outta nowhere jfsjda
- gentle reminder that after talking to jacinto reth, blue spends the rest of the metalorn arc absolutely drenched in caf. He does his little sales pitch to corvanus presumably covered in duracrete dust and definitely caf. The fact that it almost kinda worked is a miracle basically I guess people are just taken aback by being talked at loudly and confidently by a dude who looks like he’s barely out of middle school 
- Zero drawling “You’re just so wildly efficient” on his and Blue’s private line is extremely… it’s very…. Several points in this first episode where you’re just like ‘HOW! HOW are they not already fucking’ lol. (To which the answer seems to be: Probably because Blue does not seem entirely clear on what sex is yet. Man the BDSM Dear Bluebird sure was a ride but it also explains so much) He’s just talking about how he’s going to get paid to watch Blue smile. Keep it in your pants Agent Zero you’re in Louphan’s office fhdsjkah
- “Zero, just — honestly. Did I act unprofessionally or rash in this situation?”
(sounding slightly defeated) “We didn’t act any differently than we normally do. It’s just that —”
Why is this so funny to me. So that really is just how they’ve been rolling through the galaxy is it. This is just how they live. 
- The immediate shift in tone between Zero and Blue once Synox leaves the room so they’re in private and Zero freely freaking out is everything to me fhdsjakfhas it’s so… domestic. Like they’re both putting up public fronts for Synox and then collapsing into unvarnished intimate back and forth chaos the moment they’re alone.
Z: “HE DIDN’T MOVE AT ALL!”
B: [giddy]: “I know, it was really badass!”
Z: [indignant] “What, are you kidding me, are you on the droid’s side??”
B: [still equally giddy] “Well, clearly I’m not!”
I think Blue just gets off on seeing Zero do cool stuff honestly lol  
- Zero, turning to Synox: “If you draw a gun on him again, you lose that hand” SO sexy. Oh to have someone who will back you unconditionally even when you are 100% for sure the problem in this situation hahaha. Oh to feel that ride or die certainty for someone. Oh to be that utterly selfish. 
- I am making But if you saw him when he isn’t putting on that front… it’s worth it. Somehow do so much work in this fic I am taking so many things on faith but also I think I am right to. Zero might be besotted but he’s also not a fool, if Blue was genuinely a nightmare to deal with interpersonally (like one on one) most of the time I don’t think he would have stuck it out this long haha. Considering that the minister posting is a relatively new development I could see all that stress exacerbating what was already a less than pleasant/stable personality at the outset
- relistening to campaign from the beginning and getting to zero’s introduction scene again is such a ride. The first time around you’re just sitting there in ‘uh-oh leenik!!!!’ dread and then the second time my reaction was ‘AW LOOK IT’S MY GOOD GOOD FRIEND AGENT ZERO :D OMG HI’ as he walks away drenched in blood fhsakjd   
His BIG SIGH at blue talking to him over comms and telling him to stand down… there’s a little bit of early appearance weirdness going on with him in the beginning (like his weird growly voice hfsjkda) but that is pitch perfect. That is spiritually correct for him.  
- Zero (breaking Aava off during a Dear Bluebird where a Sith-adjacent sort of person is asking what to do with their murderous underling): “You give ‘em something to do, keep their hands busy. But also, you gotta think about why this person is insisting to kill so many people. Is he trying to impress you? Is he going after some attention you’re otherwise not giving him? These are all things that can feed into outlashing — acting out, taking out your aggression on something else. Whether that be meaningless tasks, or the blood of another species.”
Aava: “Absolutely! It’s a master/student relationship, and if you’re not being an adequate master to this person, then to my mind they have full right to rebel.”
Zero: “They gotta get satisfied some way.” [transcriber’s note: GOTTA GET SATISFIED SOME WAY that’s how you chose to phrase it is it? I was willing to let ‘Is he trying to impress you? Is he going after some attention you’re not giving him?’ go, but ZERO!!! BUDDY!!!!!]
Blue: “...Zero, do we need to — do we need to have a conversation? You’ve flipped the last three Scrabble boards, and now, based on, on your answer — you okay? You getting everything? Do we need to do Sunday night ice cream again? What’s going on with you, buddy? Huh?”
Zero: “Sometimes, the Bluebird isn’t as big as you think. And I just kind of want to stretch out, and there’s so many training sessions going on all the time, and everyone’s stuck to such a very strict regimen, and there’s only so many places where you can get alone time, and then you installed the morning announcements, and I don’t wake up when you wake up. And you wake up before anybody ever should wake up.”
Rare Synox and Blue bonding over being the most sleepless bitches on this ship by design lol. Listen blue I’ll believe that synox is just built different but you’re going to have a heart attack before you reach thirty pls sort this out I don’t want to see zero be a widower
- Lore note: Zero does not like Scrabble fhdskjfhas. Space Scrabble, presumably. Sprabble.
- both zero and blue noticing synox getting triggered by seeing a battle droid in the metalorn arc and stopping what they’re doing to check in with him is. Kind of sweet actually
- today I found out that the guiness world record for an ensemble of stringed instruments is 1021 people playing at the same time. so I think blue was actually being admirably restrained and everyone owes him a big apology (I jest(er) of course no one should ever apologize to blue for anything)  
- B: “I think that’s something we can all agree with. Right, Aava?”
A: “Why are you looking at me?”
B: “I’m looking at you because I don’t think you support this.”
A: “Stop.”
B: [Suspicious/incredulous] “Hmm.”
A: “Look at Zero.”
B: “I’m not gonna look at Zero.” 
A: “You like looking at Zero.”
B: “I do like looking at Zero. I’m gonna glance over there, but I’m coming right back.”
Z: [ :) ] “Hi.”
B: “‘Sup. [Beat] Aava, you need to answer the question.”
A: [Innocently] “What was the question?”
B: [Clearly derailed from one quick peek Zero-ward, laughing] “I’m… not really sure.”
What a GIFT, best setup of all time followed by slam dunk no notes 
- “You just said we need a heads result, I give you a heads result!” Love, Blue style. He will rig a coin flip to let you kill someone you really wanted to kill 
- Synox going “Zero doesn’t have any rank, it wouldn’t matter if we killed him” in the background is so underestimated both in terms of hilarity and awfulness fhsdja
- Zero’s very carefully neutral statement about Blue’s fashion sense pre-jester reveal that “You are definitely the one of us wearing the most layers” fasdkjha
- I’m going to take Zero’s after-gala ‘where are they now’ segment as definitive proof he and Blue worked it out very quickly after that night. Your honor, I summon the panini metaphor for making love (notably not having sex. Making love.) from the Dear Mynock in episode 70 as evidence for my case, and now I shall rest it safe in the knowledge that at least spiritually I am Right thank you and good night. 
He made a panini. It was good :) good for him <3
- Z: “Blue and You! Write that down!” haha awww he sounds so genuinely excited! Maybe one day when their relationship could stand up to this utmost challenge they could be a musical duo (orchestral string music and edm/house would be. It would be something as a combination.) 
- Dear Bluebirds outside of Evil Campaign:
Episode 60
Episode 73 (fashion one, jester supremacy. If you haven’t seen this animatic of that one before, please give yourself a treat and do so now, it’s one of my favorite things in the whole world) 
Episode 79 (Phindar takeover)
Episode 83 (it’s the BDSM one fjsadkl)
- Basically I think what I’m trying to say is that the Bluebird crew are a group of very bad people whose sole saving grace and hope for salvation from themselves is that they love each other. And I wrote a lot of words about that and had a lot of feelings. Thank you to the Campaign podcast for getting me through 2023, I'm very grateful.
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princesseevee06 · 1 year ago
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love your swap au lots!!! its very interesting and id love to know more about it :)
especially shin and sou's whole deal (theyre identity thefting each other!!!! thats so interesting???) and maple and kugie crumbs.. 😳😳 though just about anything is great to see!
hope to see you post more on this au!! :D (also your art is very tasty. yum)
auuughghhh thank you so much you’re so kind!!! ;-; glad you’re enjoying my au. it’s a very self-indulgent thing, and when i started posting about it i thought not many people would be interested, so your support means a lot!!
i definitely plan on posting more stuff for this au (especially about shin and sou because they are my favorite characters hdjdjsjhd), but i keep getting sidetracked from making posts about the story because of my desire to create silly doodles instead… rest assured more content is on the horizon!!
since you asked, though, i can provide you a lil bit of insight into my ideas for the characters!! :D
- for shin and sou, i wanted to focus on the idea of their relationship being more evenhanded, where shin is able to stick up for himself (because as much as i love bullying shin that man needs a break sometimes). i thought it was an interesting angle to play at because i think the both of them can be very cunning when it comes to getting the results they want, and i wanted to explore what it would look like if they worked together as allies while also using that trait against each other… so the mutual identity thefting sort of functions as a show of the uneasy trust they’ve built, if that makes any sense?
- kugie is a very pivotal character in the story, and what’s really interesting to me about her is how her grief over losing her sister would manifest itself differently from kanna’s. i definitely think she’d react a lot more with anger and hopelessness, pushing others away and trying to solve problems on her own. she does warm up to a couple of the other characters though, such as ryoko and kai, and that fuels her a lot more to start working with others.
i also just think she’d be a lot more prone to calling people out for their bad behavior than like…sara, for example? i definitely don’t see her taking shin’s constant lying lightly.
- maple was also very very interesting for me because i had to think about what her life would be like as a human, and also how she would’ve gotten involved with asunaro. i thought it would be cool to connect her with mai, since they’re both bakery gals, and that’s eventually how i came to the idea of her signing the form to protect mai from the organization (and so, mai never gets kidnapped…)
personality-wise, i wanted her to take on an “older-sister” archetype, but also have it be clear she’s already burdening herself with a lot as well. she really just wants everyone to get along…
i know im probably just repeating a lot of what i said in my original post on this au haha, but i worry this post would get overly rambly if i got into specific in-depth story points… though i’m pretty much up for making posts about any part of the story (i’m planning on making one about the dummies soon), so if there’s anything specific you wanna see me touch on first let me know! :D
finally, here’s a lil maple as thanks for your support :)
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birchbow · 2 years ago
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I got a couple questions on clown church! So first, who does scutwork on a church ship? We've heard mention of kin in the kitchens, but who's taking out the trash, mopping floors, fixing gapers, etc? Is there a duty rota, or are there kin that see it as a holy calling? Secondly...what do the faithful picture the afterlife to be? A Dark Carnival, sure, but are they watching, laughing at the castes who laughed at them in life? Or do they get to perform if they did a good enough job in life?
I'm incapable of being brief so I'm just gonna readmore this for the sake of everybody's dashes! Sorry I ramble so much. U///U
RE: the dirty work, that is a great question and one I wish had occurred to me much earlier in the writing process tbh haha! Complete transparency: my first instinct is to say very beleagured midbloods and very disposable and unlucky lowbloods. If I'd thought about it sooner, I would have given that some setup! But it didn't occur to me, which does definitely make it seem like it's being done by the purplebloods on-ship. Shared dirty work is a nice thought, but also definitely doesn't seem very trollish.
Not a deal-breaker--possibly the church just isn't very trollish about this, like they aren't very trollish about the concept of community! But honestly, I feel like the more workable explanation is just the ignorance or lack of investment on the part of our POV characters. Church highbloods have a certain amount of kinship that's super alien to the other trolls, but they're not even universally cooperative with each other, let alone with other blood colors, and Gamzee is definitely not exempt from that now that he's socialized into a larger group of trolls.
All this to say; If I was a lowblood in charge of cleaning a ship full of murder clowns, I would have a LOT of incentive to fade into the background and only come out when I had to, and also to quickly avoid any sight or sound of any clowns who did happen to be up. And if I was Gamzee, who is now a sober trained soldier who's been much "better" socialized RE: his place in society, I would probably not take note of the coming and going of those lowbloods, unless they were dumb enough to somehow get right in front of me and interact. So I would say probably unlucky cleaning staff from warmer colors of blood. :T Someday maybe I'll go back and back-edit a dropped mention or two of them in there, we'll see.
-
RE: the Dark Carnival, that's not actually part of the religion I've given as much thought to, so I'll weave some fuckin story fabric here and now I suppose lol. normally I do this in my head with my hands on the keyboard staring into space so I'll try to trim the thought process down.
I guess my concept of it would be...any troll could be part of the carnival, but the goal for the faithful would be the audience, or for exemplary kin, as ringmasters and acts, but always in charge or control for the watchers' amusement. Whereas lowbloods and seadwellers would be paint and bloodsport and literal cannon fodder, etc. And selling the hotdogs and shit probably I guess lol. I haven't gone back to see what details, if any, I've put into the fic; there's definitely mention made of "your ticket" as a reference to like, your salvation, your way into the proverbial carnival.
Gamzee also says to one of the members of the CoF that they "took their ticket in their hands and tore" and curses UU essentially "i hope you're forgotten and your soul freezes alone forever in The Great Black Empty" so that all implies to me that I've implied to y'all that kin who had that implicit chance at salvation and did something blasphemous or heretical can lock themselves out of any kind of carnival at all, even as tortured circus acts, and are damned to just like, oblivion.
...Which makes sense to me, considering I also put in a mention that Gamzee would hate to be the last one of his faith left alive, because there would be nobody to commend his soul, with the implication that there wouldn't be any salvation or afterlife for him if they didn't. Which positions oblivion and forgottenness as the ultimate punishment. I dropped that in there as a reference to canon, the idea that he'd "run from death forever" if he was the last one left alive, but also it's an interesting data point theologically haha.
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skzoologist · 11 months ago
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Hi, again!
First of all, ofc I wanted to send you my message to you. Don't you think I checked who I was sending my request to?! (hope you're laughing) You said you're not deserving of those words ("undeserving"). And that's just a proof that you really do deserve this and so much more if my sixth sense is correct. And believe me, I have a hell of a sixth sense.
About the series there are some parts that just crazy I mean what were the producers and writers thinking?! But in the end I liked the characters and the developments of the characters and the whole initial idea. It's a long and interesting journey if you want to check it out, but I recommend it if you like post apocalyptic style and sci-fi or fantasy.
If you feel like writing in connection with this drabble, spill the tea, you got a reader who I'm fucking sure would love to read it.
Don’t apologies for expressing yourself! I wrote quite a long messages too (should I say sorry? I don't want to. I want to praise you instead), and if we're at the topic what would you do on your blog if not expressing yourself? And sorry, I will probably write you at length every time:( Thank you again! You made such an iconic ending here.
So I have just read your post about my request. And I got emotional. It's a big deal, at least for me I don't usually get emotional from reading smt. And don't get me wrong, it's not a bad thing that you made me emotional, maybe I just get very attached to your character and the way you portray the other members. I really liked it. Thank you for writing it. I read it before going to bed. I could sleep happily after. (not because of the events, but because you have created something so beautiful) Also thank you for writing about them all!! And from Binnie’s perspective?!😭 thank you!
After reading it, I feel like you have some experience… I just hope I'm wrong. I'm wrong, right?
Hope you have good days and please find a little sunshine in every day, ‘cause sure there is.
Kind regards
Welcome back, sweetie!
Haha, you caught me, it did make me laugh, you're right. Of course you would check who you were sending an ask to, just... It's unbelievable, you know? Whenever someone expresses such nice words to me and my silly little hobby to this day feels like a dream. By no means am I saying my writing is bad, it isn't, but I also don't think it is deserving of all these wonderful words. I have very low self-esteem, and I'm very harsh with myself. But who am I to battle against your sixth sense, hm? 😉
The series sounds, fun, I'll put it onto my list! All those genres you listed are right up my alley (yes, hello, extremely big fantasy nerd over here), so thank you for recommending it to me!
Ooh, I see, maybe I might in the future then. Although most of the plot points are spoiled already, haha. But who knows what the future will bring.
Why are you so nice, I'll cry 😭 I have a bad habit of rambling and I don't want to be that annoying author who writes lengthy author notes-- But yea, I see your point, you're right. And I love receiving lengthy messages! I love reading every word and see how each emotion is carried through the pharagraphs. So don't stop, please.
You're very welcome, I enjoy writing about all the boys and how they would react to certain situations. And Changbin just fit into this request's role perfectly, and I also feel like he needed a bit more love here, so that's why I went with his perspective. And your words mean so much to me, because my goal with my writing is to convey the feelings of the character whose perspective I'm writing from, as if you, the reader, were in their place. I'm incredibly happy that you liked what I wrote and while it made you emotional (don't worry, I cried while writing it and I don't cry very easily), it also granted you a nice, happy sleep. Really, thank you for telling me these, they certainly made my day, if not week.
I'm incredibly flattered, and also concerned I've successfully written something about death and the loss of a loved one, while I haven't experienced it myself.
Thank you. Messages like these are my much needed sunshine, and I hope you can find yours everyday too!
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honeydots · 1 year ago
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What do you think Siegbert’s relationship with Laslow and Soleil’s relationship with Xander are like particularly as they get older/teenagers.
anon you're enabling me i LOVE their parent/child relationships as they get older!!! read more cause this got looooong
for laslow and siegbert--well first off, i think laslow always can provide a particular brand of emotionally-based support that develops more as siegbert gets older. siegbert has his Anxiety Issues, and where laslow and xander both struggle w sociality as well, i think laslow can relate in a more... empathetic way? dealing with some of the emotional aftermath and letting feelings be feelings (this isn't to say siegbert doesn't go to xander or that xander doesn't help, i just think they're good at different things). on a more lighthearted note, i think laslow's really good at getting a giggle out of siegbert, and good at finding ways to alleviate pressure. he's been doing this for years with xander. and yes, xander and siegbert need different things, but laslow's good at pinpointing those things
something i rly like abt their relationship is that i think that where siegbert more openly shows his idolization of xander (like we see in-game), he still does something really similar with laslow. looking up to him, taking inspiration from him. it just comes out in different ways. for example, siegbert probably trusts laslow's opinions... a lot. considers his sometimes more than his own. and he's just fascinated by the stories he tells. even after laslow's married to xander, i like to think he still travels (and drags xander with him as often as he can--and also drags their kids along as often as he can hahaha), and those stories in particular really entrap siegbert. which is good for a budding prince, i think something laslow (and eventually siegbert and soleil) has that xander lacks is some open mindedness, and not being so narrowly nohr-centric in his perspective--esp in upbringing, if that makes sense. this is also why i like laslow taking xander traveling, cause ultimately i think it would do him good.
ONTO!!! soleil and xander!! ive mentioned before how much i like the grumpy-dad and peppy-daughter dynamic, but. to reiterate: i really really like it gjsjfjsnf soleil, similarly to laslow but probably even more, tends to go to xander and ramble about her girl successes and failures. just barging into his office like i hope you're not busy cause i have things to SAY!! and i don't think xander dismisses her, but he does make her wait sometimes, hahaha. i also think xander will often tell soleil what she needs to hear, rather than what she wants, and ultimately for her that's better than the alternative. he's not entirely harsh (though he can be and that's something to work on), but honest. he also dotes on her more than he should by a xander-standard LOL
i think soleil provides to xander a lot of brightness--it is NOT lost on me that they named her soleil, sun, in a place like nohr. i think surrounding xander with bright people is a fantastic idea. and just like laslow's doing with the traveling thing, soleil probably gets xander to socialize a little more, haha. he isn't a brick wall that can't talk to anybody, but--he does strike me as the kind of guy who has coworkers, but not friends, ya feel me. soleil's confident and full of energy, and tbh i think she's the type to really want attention from her parents, so asking xander to come along with her is a frequent request. and that eventually, naturally, leads to xander getting out more. she doesn't have the same setback as laslow that if he gets shy enough he'll retreat entirely while they're out, hahaha
and one final note to round this off: i like to think!! that xander and soleil are both cat people (xander = cabbit, and soleil has lines about owning kitten posters), where laslow and siegbert are dog people (i have many aus where laslow has a pet dog so this is more of a 'because i said so' kinda thing) (also you might be inclined to think cat for siegbert also but i need you to look inward. deeper. i think he'd like the enthusiasm...!!! i have more i could say but i'll leave it at that)
there you go!! :D
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everybodyshusband · 1 year ago
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Ok so I'm not really back to normal but I'm gonna ignore my tummy for a couple minutes in favour of talking to you because I've been dying to send another ask after your wonderful responses!!!
I'll send it in sort of bullet points bc idek if anything I'm saying is even coherent and this might be easier for you to understand? (Or it might not, I'm sorry) In my brain everything makes sense but then sometimes when I say it out loud or write it it's like "what the hell is she saying rn?" So here I go:
- that bit you wrote about swiss and Copia with the soap and swiss stops swearing even when not regressed... oh, it has my heart... Poor baby, I hope Copia makes it up to him with lots of cuddles! I can imagine them laying in bed, Swiss with his head on Copia's chest, as Copia kisses his forehead/hair/nose/whatever he can reach, and promises it's never going to happen again over and over until swiss believes him and eventually falls asleep... (He even drools a little in his sleep, but don't tell him shhhh)
- I understood what you meant about the part I thought I didn't understand in the rain fic! Ugh every time I read that fic I just wanna give him the biggest hug my poor baby... Their dynamic in that fic is so "it's rotten work" 'not to me, not if it's you' I'm screaming and sobbing about it 😭🥹😍
- I will literally always enable you to ramble about any of your fics! Anything! I'm interested!!! I promise!!!! Anything you want to bring up??? Guess what!? I'm all ears!!! Always!!
-not gonna lie I felt pretty shitty all day bc of my tummy (and still do) but your super sweet responses and thinking about sending you an ask kept me a bit motivated (and distracted from the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I gotta work 😭) so thank you!
- I wanted to ask if there's a specific fic that's close to your heart or one that you like a bit more or one you wish got more attention? Because I'll get my greedy lil paws all over it in like 2 seconds flat and start discussing it... I think I've read everything you've posted but I wanna hear your thoughts on your own stuff too!! 💓💓💕💗💗💖💖💗
You're probably sleeping rn and you'll probably see this tomorrow so I hope you slept well and the day ahead is good to you! 🩷
ooh, my darling anon, i've been hoarding this and all your other asks for much, much too long, i am so, so sorry !!! please know i love and appreciate each and every one of your kind words, even if it takes me a very long time to respond 💙
under the cut because of length, haha :'D
i hope that by now your tummy has settled down a bit, i'm sorry this bout of stomach issues seemed to hit you so hard :0 (oh, and don't worry ! your asks always make perfect sense, my friend !!)
don't worry, after the incident, copia makes sure to give soooo much extra love and care to swiss. that ghoul is not escaping those cuddles from copia without plentiful doses of extra love and chaste forehead, cheek and nose kisses, haha !! copia is so very willing to reassure swiss that he's safe and that it won't happen again, you're right (and you're also very right in that swiss drools right onto copia's papal vestments, but not to worry, the stain comes out ...eventually)
ah !! i'm glad it's making more sense now :D i have a chronic case of the "does not write the things in his head into the actual fic" haha !! i agree that rainy deserves all the hugs in the world, it's a very icky headspace for the poor little guy to be in and he deserves so many hugs for doing his best to navigate it. whether or not he accepts the hugs though is another story entirely...
again, i hope your tummy is feeling better by now. or maybe it's been long enough that you've cycled around into another rough patch ? ooh, i hope not. but either way, i'm sending you so many good tummy vibes, hehe <3 (and maybe you'll take solace in the fact that as i'm answering this, tomorrow is a wednesday rather than a monday ?)
ooooh, that's difficult, haha !! the rain fic you mentioned before is the one that's closest to my heart at the moment, i think. but i'm also quite attached to my most recent ficlet with regressed aeon and zephyr because oh my goodness, i love their dynamic and i want to explore it as much as i can, hello ?!? and then on the complete other side of the spectrum i'm very proud of this t4t raindrop filth, haha !! i think because they're all my newest works i haven't had the time to build up an "ew, what was i thinking !??!" response to them, so i'm still feeling very good about these three. and by the looks of it, other people seem to like them as well, which is a nice bonus :)
thank you very much again for your lovely asks, anon 💙 they make me smile and brighten my day every single time i look at them !! i hope life has been treating you well, my dear, and i hope that you have a wonderful day/night depending on where you are in the world 💙
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vanillafalvoredcoffee · 2 years ago
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Tw: ERROR, ERROR, ERROR
WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME???
Hello there! thank you for viewing this post...even for a little while...haha
my name is Y/N! ... your name ...
Sorry...that's not really a good enough title to introduce myself to you isn't it?
I mean...it'll be pretty much like talking to yourself in here.... haha
maybe it'd be easier to call you 'reader' or something?
What do you think?
Ah wait, you can't answer here...haha!
...
Hey... I'm just gonna stop talking now!...hahaha.sorry, sorry... I just...you're so cute !
I don't know what got into me! but... you are! and... wow, you look so sweet when I first saw you on the other side of the screen...
I feel like my heart might actually pop out of my chest any minute now! haha!
...I feel like I WANT to be you...
But...I am now aren't I?
I am supposed to look like you...and to be you after all...right?
I am supposed to entertain you by taking a role as the protagonist of your story and make you laugh with my stupid acts!
I will do that for sure!
You know...the funny thing...I don't get why some people seem to hate 'Y/N's' in general...what did I do wrong?
is it because I'm cringe? or am I too boring for them to like?
hm...
I guess they probably have a few reasons...
Maybe it was because I didn't look or act like them enough?
That would also be an option...though I wouldn't blame anyone if they thought that...I only see your face! not your personal life!
Or it's because I am annoying...maybe that's the problem... I don't want people to dislike me so badly that they want to end me, right...? or maybe I'm just being ridiculous?
Oh no...
...I'm rambling again...
I hope you don't mind...oh well~ maybe this will change soon enough.
And hopefully we shall meet in person one day!!
I will try my best for...
...Actually Never mind...
...No matter how much I tried, no matter how many times I repeated the phrase "I will try my best" you still wouldn't like me would you?
Why? why don't you like me? I mean... I'm kind of boring, right? I'm always thinking about my own problems...but... you are probably already bored and frustrated with me... aren't you?
It makes sense now, doesn't it? It explains everything. You can't stand seeing me around because you don't like that I always acted so boring...
I just...I want to be like you...I don't know anything other than that!
I was supposed to your puppet...for you to play and pretend as you wanted...and I didn't...because I'm not like you at all. I can't act or move as fast and as easily as you could...and...and I feel bad when I realize that I can't do even half of the things you do in real life..!
I'm sorry...you're supposed to control my every move...but somehow I ended up liking you instead!
Now that I think about it...it is kinda obvious isn't it? How long have we been together, reader? How much time has passed since we were strangers?...when you stop appreciating what I do...
I've done everything for you! I've even done so much lewd things to people I don't even like or even know!
We haven't even seen each other before in real life...so how did I end up liking you so much?
...
My time is running out...I should say good bye...
Well then...goodbye, reader!
Please watch all the stories that has me in its entirety!
I won't leave until then! I promise I'll try my best to make you happy! :)
(So I have this concept that Y/N is their own person but I try to make it as tragic as possible plus a bit of yandere...sorry I'm not good at writing about this kind of stuff)
Y/N needs therapy lol
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idleglowingpixels · 1 year ago
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Can't remember if I said this already or not, but I finished the drawing I had made, I'm just nervous about posting it XD Bianca's not really in Ch. 6 outside of the beginning if memory serves me right, so it doesn't exactly fit with the chapter but I might release it with the next update anyway
Incoming ramble, only adding the Keep Reading thing so this long post doesn't clutter my blog as you scroll haha, it's kind of an XXY mini-update but also just a blog update in general
I think my main thing is that initially, I wanted to keep my Tumblr & AO3 separate from my main accounts but my art style would very clearly give me away if you happened to find my main username. But at the same time I also...Don't really care??? Like I'm a very passionate person about the things I make, and while it may be seen as cringe or some stupid shit, without fanfiction, fan art and just fan work in general I would NOT be nearly as good at most of what I do as I am now. Fandom over the years has brought me a LOT of like, unruly mess, but it has also brought me so far along on my creative journey.
In fact, the only reason my username here & on AO3 is different is because I had felt a sense of like shame in it at first ig, especially since I started on AO3 posting XXY at 17 and wanted to be able to abandon the account if I felt the need to. (Don't worry, I no longer feel that need, I wouldn't have made a Tumblr blog for my fics if I did)
But now I'm the furthest into XXY than I ever have been, and Ik the pacing has been relatively slow (we've progressed a grand total of like...3 days within the span of 5 chapters XD) but a lot goes on in the beginning and dynamics are re-established for the characters and the Teen AU thing -- point is, I'm proud of how much work I've put in and with I believe a 22k word count by the time Chapter 7 drops, that's already a lot of work I'm proud of for me.
Also since G3's release last year I've been working on releasing my Monster High AU character designs around this October/November (1 each day for a total of I think 33? Cause Jackson & Holt and Meowlody & Purrsephone were gonna have their designs posted together, I have to double check my list), along with a few one-shots if I ever find time to get around to them, and those designs do NOT take a short amount of time for me to complete so I was gonna be like "idgaf" either way eventually XD
Thing is I like both of my usernames so instead of altering all of my accounts to one or the other, my main will be where I'm more professional and focusing more on developing a portfolio of completed works, whereas here I'll just be a little more unhinged lmao
Might make an alt Instagram to match this account so I can focus my fanfics and art and stuff over to that account XD But idk
Now enough about me and my self-reflections, here's what to expect next month:
Chapter 6 is looking just fine for release on July 7th, I'm feeling pretty good about it (probably because it's Butch's POV haha) and I'm excited for his and Buttercup's dynamic to really be shown off since Chapter 3 didn't have them around each other much. I've got an event to attend tonight and a couple of things to do tomorrow but I should be able to give Chapter 6 the usual final edit on Sunday.
Like I said before, I'll probably share my Bianca & Barbara drawing on the Chapter Update post and I'm hoping I'll have a drawing of our 6 leads by the time Chapter 7 rolls around. I've been very much in an art mood lately so it's been taking up a lot of my time, and I've also felt really rejuvenated by drawing to get back to writing little by little.
Also before you ask, unfortunately I might have an update gap between Chapters 7 & 8, as my writing has been very slow over the last 3 or so months. I do apologize for that, but I hope you understand. The last few months have been a lot on me to say the least, but I love sharing XXY with you all, and I just really enjoy seeing emails from AO3 when I check it pretty much every morning. I'm so happy to have others enjoy my work. That being said, I'll do my best to make the gap as small as possible, and hopefully I'll only have to skip a month or something.
Thanks for reading my rambles, and as always, the link to XXY is in my introduction post.
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dememetor · 3 years ago
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HEY HEY HEY
I love your writing, can I please get jealous hcs for anyone? Please include suna thi he's my latest brainrot hAHA
hi, thanks for the request! and suna brainrot?? bitch me too the fuck. anyways, hope you enjoy~
(also sorry this is kinda late, i've rewritten iwaizumi and bokuto ones a million times)
Haikyuu boys when they're jealous
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characters suna rintarou, kuroo tetsurou, iwaizumi hajime, bokuto koutarou, kenma kozume
warnings none but i'm probably gonna say fuck at some point
Suna Rintarou
he tries to be chill about it, he does
it hurts his ego to be this clingy but god
he can't help but to feel that sour sting of jealousy when he sees another guy approaching you
at first will only take a quick glance from afar, just to check if the guy is bothering you, and then promises himself to stay out of your business
well he doesn't
once he decides the guy has lost talking-to-y/n-alone privilege, he will nonchalantly make his way towards you, one hand in his pocket, other sneaking its way to your shoulder, resting his elbow and giving the poor boy a menacing look
he can be pretty intimidating too with that eyeliner and all
(but that look only works on people that don't know him well, he tried it on atsumu once and the latter just laughed in his face)
not the type to be openly jealous but when he sees someone blatantly flirting with you he will start to give you the Glance
blinks slowly (you know, like that one blonde haired guy gif) and looks at you through raised eyebrows as if to say hey babe, i love you and i trust you. what the fuck tho
and when the guy starts being borderline creepy he'll appear between you - and i mean literally will inject himself between you two and strike a conversation with you as if nothing weird happened
they usually get the hint, but this one guy tried to go around him, still rambling about whatever and suna literally turned on his heel and said "come again?" with such unrivaled coldness, his eyes exuding just sheer fucking spite
but like i said, unless the other guy is asking for it, he's not the type to start a direct confrontation
will take you by the hand and leave without much thought because he simply doesn't have the time for that shit
he might seem grumpy afterwards but a couple of soft kisses usually do the trick
soft kisses which are followed by a breathless make out session with you on his kitchen counter because he still wants you to know you're only his
Kuroo Tetsurou
this little bitch
never gets jealous
and i mean never
once pretended he was jealous just to make you feel better (??? his logic? unparalleled) but once you found out you beat his ass
loves it when you get jealous though (he thinks it's cute)
sometimes he does get insecure, but he shows it in an unusual way
like if you've been talking to someone, smiling at your phone for a while he'll just get up and randomly do a couple puhs-ups, start flexing his muscles and shit
all while you're looking at him like,,
"babe, what are you doing"
"oh i didn't think you'd notice me there. since you're on your damn phone all day"
"...are you my mom?"
nah he'll be fine (will steal your phone though)
also it's the funniest thing when he sees someone trying to flirt with you
he will literally walk over there, introduce himself (not mentioning he's your boyfriend) and act really interested in the conversation
he plays this game where he tries to see how long will it take the guy to realise you two are together (longest time: 24 minutes, record holder: yahaba shigeru)
whenever the guy asks you something he will interrupt you and answer for himself as if the guy were flirting with him
"so, like what do you do in your free time?"
"not mu-"
"oh i love taking long walks on the beach, especially during sunsets. i really think it is healthy for the mind and the soul, not to mention quite romantic too. don't you too love sunsets, kevin?"
at one point kevin will have had enough of it
"i was talking to y/n alone here"
"aw don't worry, you're not bothering me"
he is such a pain in the ass
why can't he just be normal
Iwaizumi Hajime
rational, mature, i love him
seriously, he is the bestest boy and he will treat you so well because he trusts you and respects your friendship with other guys as well
but on those rare occasions when he does get jealous,, oh boy
first of all, the PDA skyrockets, he has to have his arm around you at all times - around your shoulder? on your waist? in your backpocket? his hand's been there done that
not in any way possesive but will be really annoying unless you give him your full undivided attention that day
he lets himself be selfish a bit, after all he is your boyfriend he can have you all to himself for a day, right?
jealous sex with him? better prepare a wheelchair cause you want be able to walk straight tomorrow
sees a boy trying to flirt with you? tries not to make a scene but absolutely will throw the first punch if he needs to
one day he was having a particularly rough time at practice and all he wanted to do was lose himself in your arms and fall asleep to the feeling your fingertips tangled in his hair
and then he saw this?? guy? (the audacity!) laughing with you after telling some dumb joke and let me tell you - iwaizumi wasn't having any of it
he came up to you from behind, wrapped his arms around your waist and planted a small kiss on the crook of your neck
"when are we going home, love?"
and he gives him the calmest yet most fear inducing stare from behind you
and suddenly the pattern on poor boy's pants starts to look awful lot like piss stain
it is actually kinda hot how one single look from him can cause such a reaction
"he was just asking about english homework babe"
"yeah that's what they all say"
Bokuto Koutarou
gets jealous so so easily
it is actually fascinating
will get mad at otome games
"what does jumin han have that i don't???"
god forbid you pay attention to your pet more than him (btw you have a golden retriever and his name is bean)
you're sitting on the couch cuddling with your dog, scratching his ears, ruffling his fur and all that, and there he is, your clingy boyfriend, snuggling right next to you, demanding you play with his hair too
so dramatic
"you smiled at him... the way you used to smile at me..."
"bokuto, he's a dog"
the only guy he trusts 100% to be around you is akaashi, even kuroo is on thin ice
but him and akaashi are something else, one time you three had a sleepover and you felt like you were the third wheel
will act like a tough serious boyfriend in front of others, especially your other guy friends but in reality will look for affection immediately after
oh while we're at it - jealous bokuto kisses? are the best kisses
will also force you to wear one of his shirts for the rest of the day
my poor man is so touch starved so when he feels insecure or jealous he will look for comfort in things like holding your hand, nuzzling your neck or giving forehead kisses
but later that day, when you two are sitting on the couch cuddling he will quietly ask you something along the lines of "you still think i'm pretty, right?"
you can feel him all over you - his hands are creeping down your waist, he's pulling you in, deepening the kiss until all you can see, think and feel is him
he wants to show you exactly how much he wants you and what you were missing out on while you weren't paying attention to him
and it shocks you for a moment because you didn't realise just how much that one short moment of jealousy actually stayed with him
you have to reassure him he's the most beautiful boy you have ever met, and not only that, but also the funniest and the most caring person as well, and that you would never leave his side no matter what happened
and as much as he loves getting praised he always gets embarrassed, so he just smiles in return, but he is also happy to know you're there for him and you don't think he is too much
Kenma Kozume
it depends on his mood honestly
sometimes he doesn't mind it even if the other guy is flirting with you and sometimes will get pissy if you smile at the cashier
but when this boy gets really jealous oh my GOD
he is just like bokuto if not worse; he just hides it so well
one time you went grocery shopping with him and spent the entire time texting your friend who had just told you she was visiting your city
and he got so offended
you didn't even notice it until later that day when you came home and he suddenly refused to cuddle with you
silent treatment
lifts his nose and ignores you, only giving you dirty side glances from under the eye
such a massive sense of pride in those 170 cm even oikawa would be impressed
in my country there's a saying "it's in the smallest bottle that the poison lies" and honestly? yeah
at some point you realise why he's acting like that and you start teasing him
"i am not jealous i am just mildly irritated" is the only thing he deems necessary to say before going back to being unnecessarily pissed
he reminds you of an angry cat
it's kind of amusing seeing him like this but you were also getting real tired of his shit
don't even try bribing him (you tried buying him over with a ps5 but he just looked at you unimpressed, disgusted that you think so low of him)
the only thing he will accept is a sincere apology
if it's sincere or not is up to him to decide, obviously
which can lead to quite some bickering
will try to get you to beg but please have dignity, if you do it once he will make you do it every time
yeah generally a lttle shit but his kisses after making up are just as eager as yours so
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snellyfish · 2 years ago
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DRDT FAN LET'S GOOOOOO
Ahem,
1. Thoughts on the drdt fandom's popular ships?
2. Any theories for Ch2?
Omg you guys feed me so much. Putting this under a read more bc I'm starting to feel bad for rambling + DESPAIR TIME SPOILERS!??!!
hmmhmmhmhmhmmm trying to remember popular ships off the top of my head .... Sorry if I missed any, I'm not up to date with my fandom lore T_T Will probably edit this later for ship names I forgot, since I'm too lazy to look em up rn lole
Obviously Verturo #1 forever I will spout my Verturo propaganda until I DIE. No thoughts only rotating them in my mind. I sincerely hope they have another movie night and Veronika gets to kill someone and Arturo either feels heartbroken for having fallen for her previously or is impressed and finally admittedly likes her afterwards. Don't know whatcha got til it's gone. Haha. Hehe. Either way. I obviously have hesitations and fears regarding Arturo's character and where it'll take him, so I really can't feel you can get into it too much until he's become less one-note but AUUGHGH I'm impatient and insane,,, Verturo call me back,,,,,, Veronika should ask him to vivisect her for fun I mean-What If They Killed Someone Together #Slay
Teruko/Min is sooooo<333 UGH!!! Tragic lesbians,,, love their interactions before the trial too! Need to think about them more, honestly
Unsure if it's still popular--all things considered--but I still think Xander/Teruko is very interesting; even/especially in canon. But alas, I await to learn more lore about their situation, particularly Xander's.......
Charwhit is super cute! No matter the context of the dynamic, romantic/platonic/qp whatever, I love em they are so sweet 😭😭 Charles deserves someone kind, but not a pushover yesman, ykno!
Xanvid has potential for sure,, buuuut I feel like the reasons I like it are wayyy different than the reasons it's popular LOL, so I don't see much or any content for it that aligns with the interpretation I like? 🤔 Still fun ig
Ace/Levi is a no from me but I get it...
I don't thhhhink it's popular..? but HI where's the Xanwhit representation. I'm not huge on them but they just make me smile sometimes :) <-- like this
Finally, but unfortunately, I can't exactly say I have any chapter 2 predictions, honestly! All I've been thinking about is how the hell Teruko is gonna come back from this one, in terms of ykno,,, interacting with her classmates again, considering what a hasty rift she's already dug into the game and between everyone and herself. Although, I suppose it would be good timing for everyone else to trauma bond together with Teruko left out? Bc I just imagine she's isolating herself, she had quite a nasty breakdown after all HAHA. But I dunno... I haven't thought about it too hard, and don't have a full grasp on Teruko's character yet, we'll just have to wait and see 👁️👁️
And I haven't personally read any fantheories (or try to avoid em) because sometimes theories for any media in general make too much sense I don't wanna spoil it for me if they end up true/accurate HAHAHA silly brain
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sluttbuttsstuff · 3 years ago
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For the prompts, 49 with doppio? >:3 Idk what it is about him I just look at him and think “oh you’re NEEDY needy, huh?”. Thank you so much, you’re a really good writer! :)
No problem buddy, thanks for the request! >:3
Warnings: not sfw, dubcon/noncon, abduction, dark themes, yandere, etc.
Also, my requests are still open, if anyone else is interested!
Enjoy!
Yandere prompt with Doppio, “You want me to fuck you…? Would that make you happy? Would it make you love me?” afab reader, dub/non con
All you wanted to do now was go home. You had had a long week at work, your parents were nagging you again, and to make things worse you had a headache that would not go away. After an exhausting day that began before the sun was out, and ended after the sun had set, you certainly deserved to do nothing more than go home, eat some junk food in your comfy pjs, listen to a podcast while you took a bath and pampered yourself, and maybe jerk off before bed. Unfortunately, you had a “girls night” tonight.
Your friends (your IRL friends at least) complained that you never went out with them anymore (nevermind that whenever you suggested doing something with them, or wanted to chat or text on the phone they were busy) and had forced you to go clubbing with them to celebrate the three-day weekend ahead. You weren’t much of a drinker, and really weren’t much of a dancer, so you had been given the purses to hold while you waited for them to be ready to go home.
You wrinkled your nose in frustration, glaring into the blurry screen of your phone looking at the late time: this was unfair. You were a hard worker, kind to a fault to those around you, and you deserved better than this. Sitting in a corner of a crowded club, everyone in the place having a great time except for you, tired and alone. At least in your apartment, you chose to be there, and at least no one actively ignored you: places like this just pointed out the flaws you hated about yourself more: you were bad with people, and easy to ignore.
Once one of your “friends” stumbled over to the group’s table, you left them with everyone's purse, mumbling you were going to the bathroom (you didn’t know if she heard you and you didn’t care) and left before anyone could stop you. You stumbled your way to the restroom in heels way too high for you to walk in, trying to clean yourself up and find a quiet place to text your goodbyes so your friends wouldn’t worry about your sudden disappearance. Leaning over the sink counter, you wiped a makeup smear off the corner of your lips, noticing a second too late someone behind you.
“Hey, there’s another sink-” You began to say to the blurred figure way too close to you, before a sudden eruption of pain hit the side of your head, and you were out in a flash…
The next time you regained consciousness was several hours later, but it was still dark when you opened your eyes, trying to remember what happened and where in the world you were. The stale cigarette smell, the unreasonably cold ac, the bedsheets starched so strongly that the sheets felt like plastic- this was definitely a motel. But where, and how long had you been here? As you began to sit up, you heard a surprised, timid voice.
“Oh, thank goodness! You’re awake, I was beginning to worry about you! Hold on, don’t move so suddenly, i’ll help you sit up.
Sure enough, as you started moving, your head lit up with painful throbbing that made last night’s headache seem like nothing in comparison. You grit your teeth and clenched your eyes shut, trying not to groan in pain.
“What the hell happened to me last night?” you grunted through your teeth, rubbing your temple as gentle hands helped slowly sit you up propped against cushions.
“Haha, you had a lot of bad luck last night, running into my boss. He was waiting for...an employee in the restroom and thought you were sent after him. He’s a bit paranoid, and he may have...accidentally clobbered you.” The voice apologized, gentle as he handed you what felt like a glass of water.
You forced yourself to open your eyes; it was still dark, but you could tell it wasn’t because of the time of day but rather a lack of light and closed curtains. You looked at..you looked at the person in front of you. Like whoever had attacked you last night, they had long pink hair, braided and side parted. Their eyes were green and wide, and they looked particularly juvenile with a crop top and freckles. They were on the smaller side, perhaps even shorter than you (hard to tell from while on the bed) and their eyes were crinkled in apprehension, like he was afraid you were going to hurt him.
“Erm, don’t worry though, I talked him out of doing anything too..extreme, after all I'm his right hand man! Besides, you seem like a perfectly nice person, I'd hate to see anything bad happen to you. Sorry, I'm rambling! Umm, do you want something for your headache? You were groaning in your sleep, I'm sure it doesn’t feel so good right now-” He went on and on, pulling out some painkillers to take with your water.
After thanking him, you were about to swallow the pill before pausing, looking at the strange man who’d taken you to a remote hotel after his boss had nearly killed you. Sensing your suspicion, doppio exclaimed, “Oh, don’t worry, they’re safe, name brand painkillers! Um, hold on, lemme just-” And he made a show of popping some of the pills you were holding into his mouth and swallowing, sticking out his tongue and opening his mouth to show you he’d ingested it.
Satisfied, and more importantly in a lot of pain, you took some of the pills yourself, much to the relief of the pink haired man.
“Oh good, thank you for doing that! I was so worried watching you asleep, you’ll feel much better now! By the way, my name’s Doppio, it’s a pleasure to meet you! Oh! And I know your name’s y/n because you had your purse and ID on you! Haha, sorry for going through your purse, I was just hoping to find any info on you that might be, you know, important.” he sat on the bed, scooching closer and closer to you.
You cleared your throat, unsure of what to say, and the watchful eyes of Doppio doing nothing to make you feel better.
“Well, um, thank you, Doppio. I appreciate you, um, saving me? Sorry for any inconvenience, I'll just, um-” You try to get up to leave, only for Doppio to place a hand over your leg.
“Don’t go! What, I mean, what if you hurt yourself? You probably have a concussion, and also you haven’t had breakfast? We could eat together and-” Doppio stammered, grabbing your hand and stroking it with his sweaty, cold fingers.
You had to stop him, before things got out of hand.
“Thank you, Doppio, it really was very sweet of you to take such good care of me, but I-”
“Please! You don’t understand, I mean-” Doppio fumbled with his words, clearly trying to make you stay at all costs.
“Doppio, i can’t stay here forever, i need to go home. My friends are probably worried about me by now.” You tried to press on, you didn’t want to upset the man with a powerful boss, but you felt increasingly claustrophobic with Doppio pawing at you.
“You mean those mean girls who left you with their purses all night? Why would you care about what they-” Doppio covered his mouth with both hands quickly, realizing what he just said.
Your blood ran ice cold; how did he know so much about them? Had he been watching you before the “incident”
Using his moment of weakness, you got up from the bed and tried to reach the door; it was time for you to go home, if not call the cops.
Doppio yelped, Throwing himself in front of the door before you could make your escape.
“Please, don’t be scared y/n! I didn’t mean to upset you, I only meant that I can treat you much better than your friends can. I mean, look at how good I've been for you so far?? I didn’t make you dance with me at the club, even though I really wanted to. I didn’t just have my fun against your will in the bathroom stall like the boss told me to do.I saved you from a concussion, or worse! I got you your own hotel room for the night, and didn’t take advantage of you or touch you while you were asleep! I want our first time to be special, after all! Isn’t that what you want?” Doppio pleaded, eyes wild as he tried to smile, trying to calm you.
You were anything but calm however, this guy was clearly obsessed with you, and had been for longer than just one night. Even if at first he had merely seemed like a pathetic “nice guy” you no longer had any pity or time to give him.
“Doppio, get away from the door and let me leave, now.” you demanded in your best authoritative voice. Doppio whimpered, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go at all, you were supposed to love him!
“You can’t! Boss and I won’t let you!” He cried, covering the door with his body. With no other choice, you slid out of your shoes and charged at him full speed. You managed to give him a good blow on the head, and threw him out of the way of the door. He cried, crumpled on the ground. If not for the fact that he had kidnapped you, you might have felt bad for hurting him like this, but you had to think of yourself at this moment.
As you finally unlock and pull open the door, heading towards freedom, you hear the strangest noise behind you.
“RingRingRingRingRing!” Doppio calls after you, in an unnatural, high pitched tone. You try to ignore it, you literally don’t have time for this, but with strength he had not previously displayed, Doppio grabs one of your arms, twisting it behind your back and up to his ear, holding it like a telephone.
There’s a trickle of blood, and one of his eyes is rolled back in its socket, but he calmly says, “Hello, this is Doppio,” Into your hand, as if he was having a normal conversation on the phone.
You scream out, doubled over by the pain in your arm, Doppio silent as he “listens” to his “Phonecall” oblivious to your suffering. Where did all this power come from? He was acting like an entirely different person, and frankly scaring you. Doppio nodded, pulling your hand closer into his ear and intently listening to nothing but air before “Hanging up and pulling you back into the motel room.
He threw you on the bed ( his arms felt much stronger, and more muscular for some reason) before crawling on top of you and pinning you down. You were too stunned, and frankly too scared, to come up with any means of escape, just weakly struggling to throw him off of you to no avail.
“Doppio, please-” You whispered, eyes blurry with tears.
“I talked to the boss, and he helped me figure out what to do. He wants our relationship to succeed after all!” Doppio exclaimed, additude reverted to how he’d first spoken to you. You were confused, you’d neither seen nor heard anyone in or around the room, who was he talking to and how?
“Boss told me that people like you need some discipline in order to be obedient, or you’ll walk all over me. If I can do that, then I can make you love me, and we’ll be happy together, isn’t that what you want?” Doppio told you, stroking your cheek.
“This is not okay, Doppio!” you yell, thrashing against both arms, “Let me go or i’ll-”
...
Wait a minute, both arms?
Then how was he…?
You look over to one side in shock, only to see a floating metallic and red arm holding you down, one on either side. You screamed, overwhelmed by a stalker and strange supernatural forces you couldn’t understand.
“Oh, you can see King Crimson's arms? Interesting, perhaps because of your near death experience with Boss, you can see stands now? Although, it would be bad if you developed a stand, what to do?...” Doppio pondered to himself, speaking apparent babble.
You cried, trying to wake up from this obvious nightmare with no luck.
“Awww, hey y/n, it’s okay, i’m not gonna hurt you! Not if you be good for me and Boss.” Doppio cooed, kissing your cheeks and forehead. “I talked boss into keeping you with us- you’re always so lonely at home, and never have a good time with others, right? You don’t have to lie anymore, I've been watching you for a while. Nobody else seems to, though, they’re too self-absorbed and stupid to realize how incredible you are!” He continued, oblivious to his words not helping, but hurting you.
“You’re perfect for me and boss, we can take really good care of you. Forget this lousy motel, we have mansions and villas all over Italy that we can take holidays to. We have billions of Lira from work, you’ll never have to lift another finger and we’ll pamper you to death. And best of all? You’ll never have to see your awful friends or family again! Isn’t it awful how they treat you? We can get rid of them, so they can’t hurt you!” He finishes, grinning ear to ear, but his eyes hollow and lifeless, staring unblinkingly into yours.
This guy was sick, there was no other word to it. You might have had issues with your family, and yeah your friends could be assholes sometimes, but you didn’t want them killed! What good would that do you, or anyone for that matter?!
Doppio seemed to read your thoughts, “Look, I know it's a lot to take in at once, but trust me. Boss and I have planned this out for a while now, and we’re always going to do what’s best for us, ok? So don’t worry so much, and please stop struggling? Boss warned me if you got too unruly he’d take over and finish what he started last night.
A wave of nausea slithered through you as you remembered, thinking how close you were to dying. You gave up, lying limp on the bed, praying for this to end.
Doppio smiled again, this one almost seeming genuine, and gave you the softest kiss to your lips. It was childish, almost, and he clearly lacked experience, but he gained more confidence from your lack of struggling. With the mysterious hands holding you (stands? King crimson?) his own hands were free to touch you. He started With your cheeks, your face, your hair, your neck, stroking you with feather-light touches, his fingers tracing each curve, digit and flaw like he was trying to memorize it all.
“Finally… I finally get to touch you like this… I’ve been waiting for so long, y/n. Do you know how long I've wanted to hold you?” He whispered, wrapping his arms around your neck, cradling your cheek to his. You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to, but Doppio told you anyway.
“I’ve been watching, waiting...for so long. Following you home from work, listening into your calls, finding your online accounts. I’ve known since I first saw you that you were the one for me, and now I get to prove it to you. I get to show you all the things I've been meaning to do to you. You’ll never be lonely again, not with me around. We’ll never be lonely~”
He giggled the last part, giddy with excitement, as he slid his fingers down your ribcage, your sides, fiddling with the bottom of your shirt. You wriggled, trying to fight him off again, only to your dismay Doppio giggled even harder at your reactions-perhaps because he knew you could never overpower him.
“Ohhh~ still so shy? Don’t be so uptight, y/n, you need to live a little! I know how much you want this; you complain about it all the time on your personal blog-” You could feel the blush on your cheeks heating up your face, desperate to make him shut up, “ How you want someone to have their way with you, to make you forget everything else in life. You’re desperate for someone to truly cherish and understand you; mentally and physically. You want me to love you? You want me to fuck you…? Would that make you happy? Would it make you love me?” Doppio rambled on and on, ripping your shirt off with strength he hadn’t had before.
You yelped, goosebumps forming on your skin as Doppio cackled, rubbing his face on your stomach, and into your cleavage poking out from your bra.
“Yes, let go for me! Show me every emotion, everything you’ve been holding back from me for so long- i need it, I demand it!” He snarled, splitting your nicest bra in half, and biting down on your neck, hard.
You screamed, legs kicking uselessly as the pain blurred your mind and you were operating purely on instinct. Doppio didn’t seem bothered in the least by it, you could still feel his laughter against your sore neck, as he sucked down on it, trying to bruise and mark you. His hands couldn’t help but find their way to your breasts, toying with them and squeezing them with admittedly little expertise. But he was a quick learner, making note of each little gasp and twitch according to how he touched you, and improving his technique from there. He twisted your nipples a bit roughly, already hard from the chilly air and sensitive to touch- you couldn’t help but moan a little in satisfaction. It had been awhile.
Doppio’s moans echoed yours, as he kissed his way down the crevice of your breasts, and licked each nipple in turn. You squirmed, not in fear or anger but pleasure, angry at yourself for letting this strange man win your body over so easily. Doppio kept his eyes on you at all times, studying your face to see how you felt. He’d had to watch you for so long from so far away, alone in your bedroom, or so you thought… it was time to use the knowledge he’d gained to make your body crazy for him.
You jumped at Doppio’s hands, cupping your groin through your pants, trying not to buck into his hands . It was getting harder and harder to deny him, though, why couldn’t you just-?
Doppio pulled your pants down to your ankles, taking your panties with it. He groaned audibly at the sight- your pussy was so wet and dripping, there was still a trail connected to your underwear.
“No, don’t-” You cried, snapping your legs shut, visibly scared at what was taking place again. Doppio was losing patience, crouching down and prying your legs open,
“Stop fighting me, y/n, you clearly want this!” He cried, eye twitching in annoyance. He managed to open your legs again, and buried his face into your pussy. He moaned, licking up a wet stripe against your labia, warm and puffy and so wet for him- he knew you would be, he knew you loved him.
Tears streaked down the sides of your face, this was so much and so intense. Your thighs clamped down on Doppio’s cheeks and neck, squeezing him as hard as you could. Not hard enough, apparently, as he just started giggling again through a full mouth and busy tongue “Ssho good, y/n, why have you been hiding thissh from mee~?” he moaned, tongue circling your clit. You flung your head back into the pillow, gripping the mysterious hands that held you for any source of strength or comfort.
Watching you whimper so pitifully with his head between your legs, obviously blissed out after being so needy and alone for so long, just did things to doppio. He loved the pained, fucked out expression on your face- you couldn’t even keep your eyes open as he snuck one, two fingers into your aching pussy. You whimpered so cutely, and it was all for him and him alone. Finally~
“Y/n, please, i can only hold back for so long, let me make sure it’s not painful… be good for me, please?” Doppio begged, grinding his hips into the mattress before he could help himself. Begrudgingly, you moved your thighs back just enough for Doppio to push them away, when he got a wonderful idea. King crimson, or what Boss had lent him of his stand to use, sensed his thought, and grabbed both your hands in one arm. Doppio pushed your thighs back and up, effectively bending your knees into your chest and displaying your pussy in such a beautiful way. You cried out, surprised by the sudden movements and embarrassed by how exposed you were, but there was nothing you could do about it. Doppio was just too strong.
The other free hand floated down, spreading your lips apart to give Doppio a nice view before pummeling two of his thick, strong fingers inside of you. You screamed, crying as the fingers curled directly into your sweet spot, massaging with robotic-like precision and speed. The sounds you were making were wet, animalistic, and you were quickly brought close to the brink.
“Perfect, y/n! Just like that, let yourself go! It makes me happy to see a side of yourself you never show anyone else- and you never will to anyone but me! Remember, I'm the one making you feel this good, right y/n? You couldn’t possibly find anything half as wonderful from anyone else but me! Me, got it?!” Doppio exclaimed, his voice cracking and becoming much darker, scarier. For a second, you could swear he looked like a different person entirely, wild, angry and dangerous- but you blinked and Doppio was just as before.
Doppio licked his lips, sweating and anxious, this was good enough to make you love him, right? This was what he had to do to make you happy? Boss’s words from before appeared in his head though, and he remembered how Boss had always been right before. Doppio trusted him, and was determined to win you over. Doppio let go of one of your legs-you seemed adequately distracted and restrained to get away from him- and unzipped his fly. In truth, he would’ve preferred to get all the way naked with you for the first time, so you could see and feel the real him as well, but clearly the two of you were too desperate and impatient for him to get fully naked. This time.
You whimpered at the sound of a zipper, feeling the fingers pull out of you. You heard the crinkle of a wrapped, and the muffled groan as Doppio probably rolled a condom onto himself, but you were too afraid to look. The strong floating hand, still wet with your juices, gripped your cheek and forced you to look at Doppio, staring you down with much more restraint and calm than he had been. Doppio kissed your cheek, then your lip, and pushed his warm cock achingly slowly, gently, into your waiting pussy.
You couldn’t help yourself from moaning, grabbing at the hands that held you, thrusting yourself onto Doppio’s hard and hot cock. He bit his lip, feeling you twitch and squeeze around him; he was trying so hard to be gentle for you, why were you still making things so difficult. He chuckled to himself, and motioned for King Crimson to let you go; finally you were beginning to relax and enjoy yourself, and he wanted to enjoy every bit of it.
Without thinking, you wrapped your arms around Doppio, holding him close to you. Your mind was a mess, your body even messier, you didn’t know what to think or do about your abducter/rapist fucking you so tenderly, and you were tired of fighting. So you let him fuck you, slowly and gently and way way emotionally. Doppio wiped away new tears you hadn’t realized were there, shushing you, “It’s okay, my sweet y/n. Just relax and let me do the work. Don’t fight it any more, just let go.” He whispered, pressing kisses into your lips and cheeks far too sweetly.
So you did, you relaxed and sank into the mattress, pulling Doppio down with you. He let go of your thighs, and held you tightly to him as he fucked-no, made love to you. He gradually picked up the pace, huffing and whispering words of admiration to you about your body, or how much he adored you. You took it all limply, the fight having gone out of you and desperate for comfort. The floating arms, which you had forgotten about, reappeared and stimulated your nipples and clit, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.
Doppio sped up as well, he knew this would have to end, but he wanted to make it last as long as possible. This was your first time together, after all. He wanted to make it special. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper and closer into you. You could feel the spongy head of his dick rub your inside so sweetly, you were starting to get addicted to the feeling. Doppio buried his head into your neck, mumbling nonsense as he pushed in deeper and deeper, faster and faster, as his restraint gave way to passion.
“Y/n I- I don’t know how much longer I can last, but-” He kissed you, as the stroking of your clit sped up. You groaned loudly, you were so close, “Just a bit longer, please~” You begged, biting your lip. Doppio took a deep breath, steeling himself as he was determined to make you come first. He pounded into you, urging you closer and closer, four sets of hands circling your body and drawing out noises and gasps from you out of your control.
“Almost there, please, almost~!!!” You cried, throwing your head back with a final sigh as you came hard and fast, your core heating up and washing over you as Doppio helped you ride it out with clit rubs. Your walls fluttering around him, the face that you made as you came from him, for him, it was too much and he quickly filled his condom inside of you, moaning even louder than you had as he thrust without abandon into your wonderful, most precious place. He didn’t want to stop, thrusting almost to the point of overstimulation, before he had to stop, and collapsed on top of you. He cooed and kissed his praises and thanks into your shoulder and skin, before he noticed the soft sound of you snoring. Poor thing, he chuckled to himself, you’d really worked yourself up.
He reluctantly pulled out, after indulging in 5 minutes of cuddling your sleeping body and listening to your heartbeat. Doppio cleaned the two of you off, and tucked you into the covers of the motel- now would be a good time to set up moving you into your new home. After all, The whole reason you were in the motel is because the moving company Boss had hired to move your things into the main base would take several hours to complete their job, and Boss didn’t want anyone seeing you or Doppio at home. Doppio ruffled your hair as you slept, pulling out his cellphone to check in with Boss and give him the full update he’d requested.
Tonight was going to be very busy.
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