#i hope this helps anon im sorry you're having a tough time with it

[always-just-red]

hihihi! sylus girlie here. as a college student i often never take breaks whenever im working and often stay up late finishing up assignments. then i stress out but never tell anyone and suffer in silence:’) i was wondering if you could do something similar with sylus x mc where mc often forgets to take breaks at the hunters association and is always the first the volunteer for missions so she could improve.

but then it’s starting to take a toll on her and is so so stressed, but feels bad about venting to someone or saying no to new missions.

maybe one day she’s doing a simple task like cooking herself dinner (or something) but accidentally burns herself and she just ends up breaking down and decides to call sylus and he immediately goes to her. :’)

feel free to decline or change anything! i just like the thought of someone comforting u when ur overworked and stressed bc i wish someone would do that to me lol.

Fast-tracked this one for you, anon! I'm really sorry you're having a tough time right now, and I hope this brings you a bit of comfort- remember, Sylus would want you to take care of yourself! Good luck with all your studies, and feel free to send in another request if ever you need it! 🥰

Technical Difficulties

Sylus x Reader 🩸

Summary: You're not very good at asking for help when you're struggling. Thankfully? You don't always need to.

Genre: fluff + comfort ft. a very domestic Sylus!

Warnings/Additional tags: stressed reader (has a lil bit of a breakdown!), some swearing, uses of 'kitten' and 'sweetie', Sylus is so soft here he should come with a health warning tbh

| Word count: 2.4k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

In the event of a wanderer incursion where evacuation of citizens is obstructed or otherwise not viable, association protocol 32.3-A dictates that you should first… That you should first… What?

Your pen is poised above the blank space where your answer should be. 32.3-A is a general procedure: something to do moving people to the nearest shelter. Or, wait— are you supposed to try to contact support, first?

You drop your pen with a huff and flop face-down onto the mock exam. It’s too much. Too much information, too much responsibility. Open textbooks are spread over your desk and around your head like an unholy halo— stacks of them, filled with codes and procedures. They’re supposed to be helpful, but they’re not; they’re drowning you.

Your phone pings and you glance up. Text from Tara:

Hi! Hate to be a bother, but did you finish glancing over that practice question for me? xx

Shit. You’d completely forgotten. You straighten, reaching for your laptop so you can load up your latest emails. You’ve got time to look over it; the exam isn’t for another two days. Breathe, ok? You have time.

Seven unread emails. What? You scan over them frantically. Two from the Captain: accepting additional mission requests you’d applied for. Were those both this week? One from Nero: you hadn’t sent in that finished report. Three from your colleagues, all scrambling for help with the exam. One from Tara:

Thanks for saying you’d look over this for me! You’re the best at this stuff!

Ok, so: Tara’s practice question. Nero’s report. Your own practice questions. Then… dinner? Maybe that should come first. You’d skipped lunch— had one slice of toast for breakfast. But you don’t wanna cook; cooking takes time, and you’ve got none. None.

Your phone is ringing, snapping you back to reality, and you peek over at it. Sylus?

“Hi,” you greet as you put him on speaker. On your laptop, you’re opening up Tara’s attachment.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

Always straight to the point. “Uh… yeah?” you frown as you read through your friend’s work. “Why? What d’you need?”

Sylus sighs through the phone. “That was a test, sweetie. You failed.”

“Yeah, well…” you murmur, highlighting a sentence with your cursor. “Add it to the list.”

The man doesn’t find that funny. The phone is quiet— too quiet. “Are you alright?” he asks, just as your gaze wanders to check if the call has disconnected.

“Mmhmm.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Sylus.”

You stare down at your phone. He’s waiting for more, but you won’t give it to him. You’re one word away from slipping, and you can’t let the dam crumble, especially in front of him. He’s smiling from the phone call background: a photo he insisted would ‘ruin’ his image when you took it last week.  

“I need to go, ok?” Your eyes are shining.

“Ok,” he says softly.

There’s a bleep as the call cuts out, and the photo is gone. Waiting beneath it is another text from Tara, and one from Xavier: Nero told me to txt U bout a report??

You swallow the ache in your throat and slump down on your desk again.

…

You wake up with a start, your head ringing. The tangerine sky outside your window’s turned dark— your laptop, too— and light spills from your desk lamp, yellow on white pages. There’s more, and you turn, tracing it back to where it leaks through the crack of your almost closed bedroom door.

You hadn’t left any lights on in your flat. You hadn’t switched on your lamp, either.

Tiredness is dulling your thoughts and your senses, but you know you feel uneasy. There’s something in the air: smoky, but not unpleasant. You can hear something as well. No— two things. A faint, almost imperceptible hiss, and a more obvious humming.

Hunter instincts kick in. You roll open a drawer of your desk, snatching up one of your standard-issue pistols and removing its safety with a click. You stalk up to the door, your trained footsteps near silent. You take a deep breath, clearing your head. One. Two.

Three! You shoulder the door open, leaping through with your gun trained forwards.

At the other end of your sights, Sylus turns, an eyebrow raised. Your kitchen stove seethes behind him, and he gives you a once over as he sluggishly raises both hands. “You flatter me, kitten,” he smirks in surrender, looking between your weapon and his: a spatula.

You lower your gun, your heart still racing. “I could have killed you, Sylus!”

“That’s the spirit.” His hands drop, too.

“How did you even get in here?”

He’s turned back to the stove, and he’s using the spatula to push something around a frying pan. “Hmm…” he muses, then blink— he’s gone. He’s at your fridge a second later, materialising from thin air. “I wonder,” he finishes as he reaches around for something.

Show off. “You know how I feel about you telepor…” No. “Phas…” No. “Magic…king…?” By now he’s watching you over his shoulder. “You know— that thing you do.” You’re twinkling your fingers. “What do you even call that?”

“Magicking, yeah.”

You huff in response and he laughs, walking back over to where he’s cooking two steaks and preparing a salad. You’re still coming to terms with the fact he’s even here, looking... quite frankly ridiculous, because he’s wearing your apron. It’s too small for him. Baby pink. Frilly, too.

“You know how I feel about you magicking into my home,” you mutter distractedly, because actually? He’s kinda pulling it off. His sleeves are rolled up past his elbows, tight on his arms. “Use the door like a regular person, you psychopath.”  

“Where’s the fun in that?” He sounds smug. Ugh, he must feel your eyes on him; he must know. You think he’s toying with the idea of calling you out, but he doesn’t, and when he does speak, the smugness is gone. “Mephisto saw you were sleeping. I didn’t wish to disturb you. You sounded… tired. On the phone.”

Guilt twinges in your chest as you draw up beside him. “Is that why you’re here? Playing housewife?” You pick at a frill on the apron.

“Poke fun all you want,” he sneers. “This shirt costs more than your entire wardrobe.”

“Snob.”

“Ha.” You have to retract your hand as he threatens it with the spatula. “Watch yourself, sweetie. I’ll remember that the next time you ask to ‘borrow’ my card.”

You laugh gently. Now that’s a threat. You’re about to tell him so when you hear a ping from the other room, and your heart sinks. Just a single sound, and you’re back to where you were an hour ago, at your desk with the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Sylus hums in acknowledgment as you excuse yourself and hurry back to your workspace, snatching up your phone. You missed three calls while you sleeping: all from Xavier. He’s been texting you, too.

Nero’s yelling at me

Wants to talk to U

Can U pick up? Pls?

It’s one report, for gods’ sake. You feel your chest tightening again. You just needed to proofread it, but it’s probably fine, right? You wake your laptop out of standby; you’ll just send it as it is. “I’ll just be a minute, Sy,” you call out. “Need to finish one thing.”

He mumbles something in response, and you imagine it’s for the best you can’t hear it. Your keyboard clacks as you tap out a quick email to Nero, then you surf your files for the report he so desperately wanted. It should be… here. You attach it. Hit send.

Nothing happens.

Huh. You hit send again. Then again— still nothing. You groan, trying to back out of the email. None of your keys are working. Your cursor is stuck. “Oh, come on,” you release on an impatient breath. Switch it off, switch it on again? You hit the off button. The screen goes black.

With a sigh of relief, you wait a moment before switching it on again. The screen stays black.

“No, no, no, no,” you plead quietly, but it doesn’t cooperate. Your phone rings and you snap, hitting more buttons: Answer. Speaker. “What?” you hiss.

“Whoa. Hi…?” Xavier’s voice is cautious. “I don’t know if you saw my texts, but Nero—”

“The report, Xavier! I know! I know!” You try holding down your laptop’s power button. “I’m trying to send it, but my shitty computer won’t—”

“No way!” Tara’s voice comes in on the other line; did they both get the night shift? “Hey you! Did you get a chance to—”

“No, ok?!” you practically cry out. “No! Can you two just back off? Please!”

“Oh, sorry, I…” Tara sounds upset, then distracted. “Wait, Xavier wants to speak to you.”

“Are you ok?” he asks after a second.

Ok? You just want everything to stop. “I’m fine. Shit, tell Tara I’m sorry. I am sorry, Xavier, I just… I just need my laptop to…”

Work. Work! Nothing’s working. Half of your files are on there. How much of it is backed-up? Panic is setting in, gripping your body like ice. Your throat hurts and your mouth is dry, the dam is breaking and you can’t stop it. Tears prick at your eyes as you blink at the blank, hopeless screen. Your reflection stares back at you.

You let out a sob, expelling days of frustration and exhaustion. Everywhere you look there’s something you need to do, something you need to learn, something you need to finish. You can’t. You clasp a hand over your mouth, muffling your own cries.

Xavier is speaking— saying something over the phone— but you can’t hear him.

The light changes, and there’s a figure above you, lifting the phone from the desk. “They’ll call you back,” the shadow says. Sylus.

“Wait, who is this?” Xavier.

“That’s Skye!” Tara.

Your friends’ distant voices cut out as Sylus ends the call. He sets the phone down again, nudging your laptop out of view, then lowers himself until all you can see is him: his red eyes, softer than you’ve ever seen them. “Come on, sweetie,” he coaxes, guiding your hands over his shoulders.

You understand what he’s asking of you. His arms wrap around you and you hold him tighter, letting him lift you out of your chair. He feels warm, his skin ever so slightly flushed from where he’s been standing over the stove, and he pulls your legs around his waist, letting him carry you with ease.

With your face buried in his shoulder, you can’t tell where he’s taking you, and you don’t care. His shirt is going damp against your cheeks. You want to stop crying, but you can’t with the taste of your tears on your lips. You feel weak. You feel pathetic.

Something solid is behind you, and Sylus is setting you slowly down on the kitchen counter. He’s away from you for a moment— moving the frying pan off of the heat and turning a dial on the stove— but then he’s back, standing between your legs, standing close. You’re looking down until his hand is under your chin, lifting it with the delicate touch one employs when inspecting a flower that might break.

He shushes you without a hint of impatience. “Look at me,” he directs quietly, and when you do, he unrolls his shirtsleeves— drawing the cuffs over his hands so he can use them to wipe your eyes. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You do— you tell him everything. The hunter’s exam. The textbooks. The extra patrols you’ve been signing up for. The work you’ve been doing for your friends. The stupid report. The even more stupid computer.

Sylus listens collectedly, nodding his head and issuing the odd hum of understanding. He listens to all of it, and when you’re done, he pushes your hair back from your face with a sympathetic sigh. “Oh, sweetie.” A tendril is tucked behind your ear. “You should have said something.”

“I know.” Your gaze is still shy of his. “But how can I? I need to do this— be this— for everyone.”

His hands are on your cheeks again, drawing back your focus. “You’re just one person,” he says. “You— just you— and that’s all you need to be. You’re stubborn, and strong, but you’re not invincible. Even Linkon’s shiniest hunter is allowed to have limits. Everyone does.”

“Even you?” you snivel, setting him up for a quip.  

Nothing. He smiles. Shrugs. “Even me.”

It’s hard to believe when he’s staring back at you, oh so solid, oh so perfect. Always a picture of strength: of fiery determination or calculated coolness. Everything in extremes; nothing by halves. Except… his hair is slightly dishevelled from where he’s been working away in the heat. There’s a damp patch on his shirt. He’s wearing your pink apron, and there’s mascara on his sleeves.

Then there’s the way he’s looking at you.

It shifts when you finally look back. He drops his hands from your face and pulls back a little. “You do a lot for your friends,” he continues with confidence, but he’s rubbing his neck, “and they care about you. You should afford them the chance to return the favour. It’s only fair.”

“You’re right.”

“…Good.”

Perhaps it’s the fact you’ve vaguely composed yourself— or the way you’re watching him like you’re seeing something new— but he straightens self-consciously, rolling his shirtsleeves back up as his eyes go sharp: assuming their usual severity.

“You’re too soft, kitten,” he scolds, reaching out to tousle your hair until you’re glaring daggers from behind a curtain of it. “How many times do I have to tell you? You put yourself first. Always. No-one else matters.”

There’s quiet for all of a second. He can’t help correcting: “Well, except me, of course.” The apron’s crooked, and he flattens it with a brush of his hands. “Any time spent with me qualifies as self-care. You really should know that by now, sweetie.”

Your mouth curls, but you haven’t quite got it in you to laugh— not yet. Stretching his neck with two sideways tips of his head, Sylus returns to his post at the oven, where the meal he’s cooking has almost certainly gone cold. You watch as the stove flickers back to life. The man is humming again, and though the food might yet be salvaged, whatever melody he’s attempting is long-past recognition, let alone saving.

You chuckle to yourself.

And you can’t see it, but Sylus is smiling, too.

[popponn]

Hihi, im the same anon that loves ur page!!

the froggys are seriously silly :)

Anyways, can i request some hcs abt bllk boys with a reader who's going thru a depressive episode? im just goin thru stuff rn, if u can't its fine.

So, hows ur day been?

I hope you're well

have a great day! <33

byebye💖

notes: anonnie;;; i hope you are feeling better when you finally read this;;; this took so long, im sorry. i have been busy and there are lot of things going on, but i am fine thank you for asking :> and hey, a depressive episode could be tough. but you got this! okay? try to take it slow and step by step, drink water, eat food, and move around a bit. a light walk or a stretch is okay. like how the clouds always change, things will change. i hope reading this could give you a little happiness, especially when you need it.

isagi

if you are looking for someone who will listen and give practical advice without dismissing your feelings or concerns, honestly he is the one. especially as a boyfriend, you can trust him to be the one who will sit beside you on the sofa while wrapping you in the blanket. will ask you what you want to eat and the moment you decide to fight the cold hard life back, don’t worry, your isagi yoichi will be your #1 supporter! especially if you guys have spent more time in the relationship, he really is good at balancing giving comfort while still giving you trust to walk on your own. though he sometimes couldn’t 100% understand your point of view, but the sincerity in his effort to be always there for you is no joke. he promised every part of him he could give to you and he means every word of it.

bachira

who hurt his baby—he will fight it. somehow. he has this odd sixth sense when it comes to you. just with a glance, he will immediately get how down you feel and what you need. a joke and a cheer up along with many kisses? coming right up. a listener who will hug you like a koala? do you want to do that while cuddling in the bed or in public in front of his friends because he won’t hesitate honestly. just say what you want—if he must eat a cake messily like 5 year old to make you laugh then so be it. will get you out for recreation the moment he could and if he couldn’t that means it’s time for his creativity to shine (and boy does it always shine). but if the one that makes you feel down is someone, bachira is not one for violence but he could you know. if you want. (please stop him.)

rin

if you don’t cry, at best he will be an awkward listener—but a good listener nonetheless. if you cry, though, honestly he will panic. this guy is already not good with his own emotions, so you need to be clear about what you want with him. he is not the best with words though, and advice he offers is usually either “let me just fix this for you” or a straight up detached, objective one that is better offered to someone with a cool head and controlled emotion. therefore, more often than not, he opts to just listen and hold your hand. he will try to help, though, and if he can’t—at the very least you will get a really menacing guard dog who won’t let anyone mess with you while you are trying to get up. (also, go tell him to buy something. his credit card is ready and feeling like he is doing something for you is good for the both of you.)

sae

itoshi gene is harsh and he is somehow worse than his brother in this scenario. he is a naturally critical person towards anything. if you are ready to get your fault pointed out and think up a “what can i do to make this better or avoid this from happening again” go to him, but if you are looking for someone who will listen or give validation, as much as you love him, don’t. him and a terrible headspace is not a good combination. however, a direct “can you hug me?” or a “can you do something for me?” is not completely out of the question—he, after all, still cares about you. high chance he won’t ask, especially if you said you don’t want to say anything, but in this situation the softer part of him who has a hard time saying no to you truly comes out. a movie night, even if it involves the goddamned fries, would happen. he is smart enough to know when to spoil you, especially since he knows your habits and tendencies by heart.

kunigami

the sort of person who sees a hint of gloom on your face and immediately cradles it with a tenderness that no one would expect from someone with his build. he is a good, caring person by nature, if you are looking for someone to help you, he is the best choice. he can be clumsy sometimes and the words he gives to cheer you up have a high chance of being uttered with a lot of pauses in the middle—but the way he acts will probably be enough to bring a smile to your face again (and he will also smile along with you when this happen because by god you are his happiness). all those aside, high chance he can’t give advice, but he will give you top-notch cheering up—words, actions, cuddles, everything—along with genuine validation. (especially after wild card, he has seen hell. “feeling terrible” is something he understands a lot.)

kaiser

for this one i won’t sugarcoat it: jesus christ. why. is there no one else?

jokes aside, as i love to bully him a bit here, objectively—this really depends on the sort of type of person you are. if you are looking for advice or validation or a listener—not him. but if you are the sort of person who prefers a distraction or the “tough love” sort of motivation that is more scathing and heartless—borderline degrading—he is the one. out of spite, his words are probably enough to spur you into action, forgetting whatever blue feeling you have as it has turned into a red raging anger. however, a little note, believe it or not, this actually comes from a caring place in his heart. kaiser is someone with many, many harsh edges—and this comes more from “i rather see you angry and living than seeing you down without me being able to do anything” root that he rather die than say out loud.

nagi

the best you could get is a passive listener. worse you can get is a passive listener who still plays games. the worst you can get is that one scene where isagi has a legitimate concern and gets his hair pulled by this guy. another one who is better to have as a company in seeking distraction for the time than anything. but, despite how admittedly terrible he is in cheering you up with words, he truly makes it up by action when it finally hits him how down and different you are. it will take a few hours or a few days, but he will get there. afterward, expect many small sweet gestures ranging from cute gifts, your favorite snacks, et cetera. your chatroom with him will too suddenly get noisy with many cute stickers and “u ok? :x” for at least a few weeks. (also he is shameless enough to ask out loud to his teammates about what should he do with you when he realizes how stuck he is. so hey. there is that: possible extra brains if you need a solution.)

reo

common knowledge that he never shies away from using that money of his when he needs to and this is one of those situations where he genuinely considers taking you away for a trip so you can feel better near a sunny beach or a peaceful lake—you pick. if you don’t want that, however, this guy is still the best when it comes to understanding you and will be there until you give him a smile. what else do you expect from someone with a complete set of love languages? do watch out though, he is also someone who could get angry pretty quickly, especially when it involves something or someone he cares about—and this time it’s you. on a brighter note, though, this means if you are looking for someone to shit talk with, he is the one. he is a smart caring boyfriend, so talking with him during this time will do a lot of good to you. a good advice along with good validation.

bonus round:

barou — has this very awkward and unique way of cheering you up by getting you to clean the house along with him (and somehow he is less strict with you this time) and then cooking for you after; somehow always works like a charm. yukimiya — do you know all those shoujo manga perfect handsome famous sporty smart boyfriends? this is it. coming to you live. chigiri — shit-talking session that will soon move on to a pep talk that will give you every bit of confidence and drive you to need. a best friend and a boyfriend in one package. one of the people who truly knows and understands how despairing an overwhelming situation could be. karasu — will he tease you a bit like a meanie to distract you, ironically? yes. but if you need an advisor to brainstorm the best possible solution he is also the one.

[navstuffs]

hi!! i really love your writing and i would love if you could feed me with a request (only if you're comfortable with it, ofc) 👉🏼👈🏼 what about a leon x reader where reader is passing through a very tough depressive crisis and is really not fine mentally speaking — and leon just try to help and comfort them through this? 👉🏼👈🏼

anyway, thank you for your fics, they really helped me these days 😭💗

Anchor

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x GNPartner!Reader

Summary: It is 1 am when Leon Kennedy knocks on your door. He shouldn't be there and you shouldn't have opened it. 

Warning tags: hurt/comfort, angst, leon almost died, reader is suffering with anxiety due to past events, can be read as platonic or romantic (you choose)

Writer's Notes: hello! first of all, im sorry i took so long to write this request for you. i changed some stuff and i hope you don't mind (reader is still depressed). thank you so much your kind words and i hope this fic serves as comfort for you!! <333 stay safe anon!

for more painful leon's fics, check my masterlist. i have some happy ones too :)

It is 1 am when Leon Kennedy knocks on your door. It is the third time that week only, the fifth of the month. 

It starts when you don’t appear at work after two weeks since his return, and no one knows where you are. HR informs you are sick, which means you are still alive somewhere in the world, just sick. Okay, but sick with what? Sick how? Are you in the hospital? Do you need any help? Leon knows you don’t have family around, like him, and you are pretty much alone - like him. 

So, as any regular worried friend would, he calls and texts. He wants to hear your voice and guarantee that you don’t need help and have everything you need. That you truly are okay. No answer. HR has guaranteed him you are not dead, but what if you—no, he shouldn’t think about that.

The next step is going to your house. He knows where your address is and wouldn’t be a complete weird appearing there in the afternoon. No answer. Leon won’t be a creep as far as looking at your windows, at least not yet. He won’t go as far as busting your door and checking how you are feeling because he needs to confirm you are okay. You might just not be home.

On the second visit, Leon got awfully close to kicking your door. Before he could do that or even knock, he saw a shadow pass over the window. Though Leon told himself he wouldn’t, he looked inside just in time to see you disappear to the second floor. So, at least you are really alive, Leon’s body filling with relief. It could have been a bad case of flu, and you don’t want to contaminate anyone.

One more week passes, and he visits your house two more times. Those times you didn’t even bother to hide yourself, lazily lying down on the sofa in a way Leon couldn’t see your face (oh yeah, now he is definitely peeking out your windows). So you are genuinely ignoring him or truly sick with some contagious disease. Maybe Covid?

The fifth time he knocks on your door, it is 1 am and Leon is deeply not only worried but bitter. He was sitting in his apartment alone, wondering what you had and why you didn’t open the door for him. You two are colleagues, and Leon would dare to go as far as to call you his friend if anyone asked. How many times have you brought him soup while he was sick? Brought him meds, kept him company? Checked on him until he was finally all better?

It would be only fair if he did the same.

Leon grabs his keys without even thinking: You will open the door for him tonight. And if you don’t, well, he will kick it open. To hell with the civil approach.

-x-

All the courage slips away from his body when he notices the kitchen’s light on. Leon can’t see anything inside since you decided to make his life harder and close the curtains. So, instead of kicking that door until it’s down, Leon goes back to the gentle approach (like the idiot he is): he knocks.

The door opens not even ten seconds later, and Leon blinks, surprised. You are there. You, not a trick of his eyes: a fluffy and long blanket covering your body, only your face peeking with a familiar expression Leon recognizes immediately - he had seen in his own mirror before.

“You won. What the fuck do you want?” Those are the first words to him in weeks.

“May I come in?” 

You ponder for a moment, your eyes red, and Leon wonders when you last slept. You walk away, leaving the door open, and Leon follows inside, locking the door behind him. 

Your house isn’t in the best state. He had been here before and thought you weren’t the most organized person (“I can find myself in my own mess, Leon.”). The mess had grown too much from normal. There were tons of take-out boxes on the kitchen counter, pizza boxes, and fast food bags. At least you had been eating—not the best food ever, but feeding. He could work with that.

And the bottles—oh, those Leon would identify anywhere. You weren’t a heavy drinker, and you mentioned plenty of times you didn’t know how he liked whiskey. Now, there were countless empty bottles of whiskey, beer, and vodka, so much so that the place looked like a bunch of frat boys had a party just the night before and didn’t bother to clean.

Leon follows you to the living room as you fall onto the couch. An old Simpsons episode plays on the TV screen. There are still some bags and bottles on the floor, but fewer. Your eyes focus on the TV, not really watching or paying attention to him.  Leon stands there, keeping a safe distance from you and gathering what to say. 

“I came to check on you.” Leon starts, his eyes glued on you. “You haven’t called or texted me back. The HR said-”

“I am sick. I wanted to be left alone.”

“I know, but-”

“I could complain about this to HR, you know? It could be considered an invasion of privacy, and you could lose your job. “

“I was worried about you.”

“You saw me in the window that day, didn’t you? I’m alive and breathing. Now get out.”

You hide your face in the sofa, conversation clearly done on your side. It feels like an impossible battle to win. Leon then tries again, “Do you need anything?” 

“No. Get out.”

He sighs, turning on his heels. Leon wants to say you can call if you need him, any time, but Leon knows you wouldn't. This is an impossible battle to win, Leon realizes as he starts to leave. But then he freezes, a memory piercing his thoughts. Leon comes back to the living room, your face still hidden.

“No.”

“What?” 

“I am not leaving. Not before I know what is wrong.”

“I am sick.”

“Yes. So I have heard.” 

You don’t turn to look at him, and that’s fine. If you want to be stubborn, so could he. Leon can wait. The episode on the TV finally ends, and as the familiar opening plays in the background, you slowly turn in his direction, one eye appearing first, then the other, as if expecting Leon would be gone by now. Unlucky for you, Leon S. Kennedy didn’t give up that easily, especially for his friends.

“I don’t know what you are feeling, but I know that face.” His voice manages to sound neutral.

Of course, he does. Of course, your partner, the legendary D.S.O veteran, would know. You, just a newbie, would have no idea what he went through, but Leon didn’t seem the kind of person to crumble for anything. Leon would probably be fine if you were the one to get shot, not him. He wouldn’t have panicked, he wouldn’t have started crying, screaming for someone to help them, losing themselves in a sea of despair and pain.

“Hey…”

Blood. So much blood in your hands. You are useless, you can’t help him as Leon’s face loses color-

“Hey.”

He deserved someone better—someone much better as a partner—not you, a weak agent who thought you were strong enough to stand by his side. Oh, how wrong you were.

Leon calls your name, more urgent this time, and your line of sight is filled with the face of the man you considered your friend right at your path—concerned blue eyes, his hair tickling against your face. His forehead is in concentration, the faint ghost of a beard, as he speaks soothingly. “Hey, look at me. You are safe. Deep breaths, come on.” 

The visions mix as you blink: Leon losing blood in your arms, unconscious, back to being safe, his worried eyes staring at you.

Your rapid breathing noise fills the room, your heart wanting to burst as the pain spreads over your body, the pain worse than being stabbed or punched. You keep your eyes on Leon - he is fine, he is safe, he is well, he is worried sick about you- as he continues to nod and tell you to breathe.

It takes a while, Leon’s hands on your shoulder as you finally calm down, the tears rolling freely from your eyes.

“I am sorry.” You manage to whisper. “I am so sorry.”

“You are safe. We both are safe.” Leon declares, and you take that in. Right now, yes. But what about tomorrow? What about-? “Hey, eyes open at me.” When had you even closed them? “Come on. There is no one else, just you and me. And we are safe.” 

You nod, not arguing back. Finally, you sit down, and Leon takes two steps back. “Water?” 

“I think there are some in the fridge,”��you reply, cleaning your tears. Leon leaves and quickly comes back with two bottles, unbottling them for you. You shake your head, but Leon insists, and you drink in small sips, the cold liquid refreshing your dry throat. When was the last time you had any water? Or took a shower? Or slept?

Finally, you give him space on the couch to sit. Leon doesn’t, and you point your head to your side, and he sits, keeping a safe distance from you. You two say nothing for a while, simply looking at the TV to watch Bart Simpsons on his shenanigans. 

“I am sorry.”

“Would you stop that?” Leon sighs back, frustrated. 

“No. I am sorry.”

“Fine. I forgive you. Are we good now?”

“No.” 

“I knew it wouldn’t be,” Leon replies with a sad smile.

“You could have died, and I didn’t-” Leon says your name, but you continue “-let me finish. I didn’t help. I didn’t move. I did nothing.” 

Leon didn’t want to talk about this, knowing it was inevitable. The day he took a bullet for you: not one, but two. Leon noticed before you, his reflexes quicker than yours. It was his responsibility anyway.

You only watched, shocked, as the bullet pierced his leg, then his chest. You didn’t move or flinch; you just froze, your hands closing and opening nervously as Leon fell right in front of you. You had been fortunate that the backup team had arrived on the other second, finding in the middle of the swarm of bullets a screaming you protecting Leon with his own body, all training thrown out of the window. You two should have been dead. Life had given you and him another chance, since no other vital organ or vein of Leon had been damaged.

You don’t remember much after except asking for your resignation that same day and getting a “No” as an answer. So you decided to get on sick leave until some higher-up got tired and fired you.

“I did nothing.” Leon tries to interrupt you again, but you continue, “You could have died, and I did nothing.”

“It wouldn’t be your fault.” 

“What? Of course, it would!” 

“No, it would not.” 

“Can you fucking stop trying to make me feel better?” Your tone is so angry, so vile, that Leon almost flinches. 

Death is always in the back of his mind. Every time he is out there, he could die. He is expandable; they all are, but he couldn’t just let you die. You a much smarter version of what he once was during Raccoon City. The same bravery, but not foolish as his. Much sharper. Leon knew why he got paired up with you in the first place, the irony not completely lost in him. 

It would have been fine if Leon died that day he protected you, but not okay if you did. Not on his watch. Not now, not ever.

“I can’t help it,” Leon replies, a sad smile on his lips. “I can’t help it, especially when a friend needs my help.” 

A friend? 

Do not grow attachments. Wasn’t that your first lesson? It had been hard to be paired up with a man who hated it at first, then to learn how to laugh at his silly jokes or admire how far Leon would go for anyone. For anyone, except himself, stupid brave man.

You open your mouth and close it, simply lying against the sofa with your eyes closed. 

“So, let me help you?” His voice is warm and inviting. 

It would be best if you said no. You should kick this man out of your living room, out of your life, and never go back to that stupid job fighting an endless battle that would end with you dead or someone you cherished dead. You don’t know how Leon does it, but as you open your eyes, his blue eyes look straight at you awaits in hope. Waiting to comfort you, support you to the best of his abilities, and be your friend.

The pain is still there, vivid in your soul and mind, but there is hope. Right there, in that tiny spot you gave Leon S. Kennedy. That’s why you shouldn’t have opened that damn door, you realize, but it is too late. You limit on nodding.

[robogart]

So do you just respond to anon hate because you know itll get you showered with compliments after? Because you really shouldve just deleted them and moved on ... Dont engage, just block, right? Or are you just too good for that. If its not worth the effort, why do you keep doing it? Look, I really truly love your work .... I *agree* with all the people complimenting you. But taking the time out of your day to formulate snarky responses to people that should not matter to you, for the sake of drowning it out with others' approval just makes you look really vain and desperate. Im sorry if that upsets you. Im not trying to judge your character, im just saying thats how you might appear to an outsider, but you shouldnt care about what i think of you anyway. Regardless, i hope you have a wonderful day and keep making the art that you want to make. ✌

I will say "don't engage, just block" has been a successful tactic that I have used/been using on twitter (and instagram, when I remember to use it) since two people can't really engage with a character limit. There's also no real anonymous posting on either platform, so people can get dogpiled on either side, which I try to be aware of and avoid.

So it's tough because I do agree that most times it is better to walk away - you're right! And I'd be inclined to do that for most internet circumstances. But I guess this Shadowheart situation has honestly just become something that I am going to speak up on, because to these anonymous messages, I want to state and clearly explain why this piece, and others like it, are important to me. Drawing fat people is very important to me.

And I have been very much "in the pocket" today in responding to things, much more than I usually am, considering I usually don't get this much inbox attention at all. In the past, the few times I'd get this sort of quantity of responses would also come from a similar circumstance when I would want to draw a character from a popular series (usually drawing them as fat, buff, larger-bodied than their original design) and people want to speak up on it. So when this does happen, and specifically on tumblr because it's a blogging platform that supports long text and anonymous messages, I do find myself responding to most things. Especially since it's revolving around drawing fat bodies and it is something I feel impassioned to speak up on and explain why I do it.

My more "snarky" and cheeky responses are towards the anonymous messages that are giving me that energy at the start. And I respond to them because I am a person, not just some art-making machine on the internet. I want these anons to know that I see their messages, their attitude is not appreciated, and their commentary is hateful and wrong because they have internalized shit they should work through (as do we all). But it's not going to fly here and there are MANY people who agree with me and do not tolerate this behavior, and these anons should see that that is the case.

The kind and supportive messages I get because of these situations I vastly appreciate. I respond to them because I'm grateful for the time, I'm in that typing/ready-to-respond pocket, and they help me (and hopefully others) remember that for every hateful thing someone might say, there are a dozen people who support you. Every time you dare to draw and represent a person outside of the beauty standard, there will always be people who will hate it and they are going to tell you. But with them, there will be dozens more who truly love it because they find it beautiful and they will appreciate what you do. It is immensely meaningful and important to me that people see this and see more artwork that expands the scope of beauty. That is why I respond to these messages.

[barbthebuilder]

So umm, sorry this is a sensetive question at all. but like, I'm newly gender fluid and its like a big fear of mine im just faking it all, is there any ways for me to like alleviate those fears 😭

Again you don't need to answer if u don't want too

Yo, thank you for the ask! This is a really good one. I'll try to help you out there, anon.

I think we all struggled with this particular feeling at one point or another. It can come back sometimes even after we concquer it. It's definetly tough, makes you question everything, and to be honest I'm not really sure where it comes from and why it is so universal.

Anyway, I would encourage you to sit for a moment and think. What does "faking it" mean? Convincing youself and other you are something you're not? Forcing yourself into a label? Well, okay. Are you trying to convince somebody? Are you trying to force something?

Remind yourself of the reasons you decided to put such a label on yourself. Was it for attention? Was it for some malicious reason?

Or was it for your comfort? To complete sense of identity, understand yourself better, find a community?

Being genderfluid is based mostly on the feeling. It's a wide spectrum of elements one can have or not. So even if your experience isn't like others you're still could be genderfluid.

But also. Remeber that you can't fake something while being unaware of it. "Maybe I'm doing it unconciously!" bro no. Don't listen to that voice of doubt. That's paranoia. Imagine that's just some annoying aunt that vistis once a year to gossip. She's a bitch. Roll your eyes every time you hear her.

Anyways, in my case that feeling just kinda dissapeared. It stuck for a long time but then it became weaker and weaker. This blog certianly helped me. Coming out (and getting postitive reactions) helped. Being connected with myself and honset has been helping.

Not sure if this was useful in any way, shape or form but I really hope at the very least it was entertaining ;) anyone is welcome to tune in with their comments, thoughts, advice or criticism!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw, Parental abuse, threats of murder, threatened violence against women, sexism, A boy being told to toughen up deal, being called names

Looking for support and validation (💛📼 sorry for the emojis i want to be able to find this post once it gets answered, don't know if this counts as symbols and is against the rules, im so sorry)

My dad (45) talks about how to could kill me at any moment anytime i (15M) am annoying to him. He's been doing it since i was a child, getting in my face and screaming about how he would brutally kill me if he could. Now that i'm a little older i try to make jokes like "you wouldn't i'm just so cool and awesome, i can't be killed" but he goes on about how "i could. i could. i can. i will kill you."

I feel like this is pennies compared to other people and their parents but i can't take it anymore. I'm tired of threats and hands on me and him getting in my face and the yelling and blowing up over little things like my nails or clothes or whatever. There's a stigma for boys and abuse, and it feels really isolating... I've heard all the "toughen up" and "man up" and "be stronger" and "you're being weak" and i'm really lonely

I know so many more women are victimized and oppressed and scrutinized and abused and hurt than men and i really don't want to take away from that, but i don't know what to do. I'm so tired and stressed and scared and lonely. Like i'm the only boy out here who is being yelled at and crying about it, i can't help but feel like im being weak for crying. He keeps talking about how men are so much better than women and can take them down and hurt them and i hate it.

he wont let me have a heater in my room, winter is coming soon and my room has shitty ventilation and insulation because i'm above the garage. He said no to the heater because my room is messy (bits of laundry and wrappers here and there, i think it's pretty clean and stuff) and therefore i'm a disgusting pig and going to burn the house down and should have thought about that before i asked. I'm so cold, my body is freezing, i can feel the coldness of my hands as i type this. Every winter is colder and colder these days. I'm thinking if buying a heater secretly tho! maybe i'll feel a little less sad if i can sleep warm and cozy...

thanks for reading, sorry this went into a tangent, i tried to tw everything at the top but i don't know if i did it all right, i'm sorry. Thank you again, thank you so much. I feel a little better now that i typed all this out. I should go to bed now, nightnight, have a good day, thank you.

Hi anon,

It sounds like you've experienced these threats so many times that you've become desensitized to them and have normalized them to the extent that you feel this experience is equivalent to "pennies" compared to others. But threats on your life should be taken seriously, regardless of who says it, how many times it's been said, or even your gender identity. You're right that the culture around boys and men is to be "tough" but that shouldn't mean tolerating abuse. You're not decentering misogynistic abuse by highlighting toxic masculinity. Your dad sounds like an incel.

Hearing about the heater situation is even more concerning because it's starting to sound like neglect as well as child endangerment. I recommend that you reach out to a crisis resource such as 741741 or 988. You can also take a look at this spreadsheet with other crisis resources, as some of those include crisis resources specifically for men or minors. If anyone has any additional suggestions or comments, please feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[joestarkisser]

hi, sorry if this is weird or if im bothering you, i was just wondering if you have any advice. ive been having trouble connecting to real people for a long time and i feel like its partially due to mentally comparing with my f/o and concluding that no irl people could ever make me feel the way my f/o’s do so its just not worth it. but i also feel really lonely sometimes and im not sure what to do. i kind of wish i was interested in real people and felt like interacting with them was meaningful but a lot of the time it just feels like a chore and i dont like that. i also sometimes get really sad thinking about my f/o because of the fact they arent actually real and i can never actually be with them and would have to either settle for a real person or just be alone. do you ever deal with anything like that? sorry again im not involved with this community i just lurk and idk who to talk to about this you can just ignore this if you want

Hey anon! Sorry for answering this late!

Personally no, I don't deal with this myself. I'm pretty strictly ficto beyond friends and therefore don't worry about things like this often at all. But I can at least try and help a bit!

I think maybe it has to do with idealization. The hardest part is realizing no one is gonna be as perfect as your F/O is IRL, and having such standards can be tough to manage with reality. If you're looking to meet people with romantic intent, try to accept that no one will be 100% like your F/O, and instead approach IRL dating with a more open notebook so to speak. Think of it similar to when you were first getting into the media your F/O belongs to, while you were still learning about your F/O and falling in love with them. In a similar sense, you can learn about a new person and fall in love with them as well!

If you're not actively searching for a relationship, or just looking to make more friends, try not stressing it! I find personally that the best connections with people come from naturally building up to friendship with them via interactions in art sharing servers, on video games, etc! Just try doing something like playing a multiplayer game and the like, without intent to make friends, just to enjoy yourself.. and you may find yourself with connections faster than you think!

Also, it may also be neurodivergency or trauma or both at play here. If possible, try and discuss these feelings with a professional, and see if the cause of this is more clear and manageable for you!

Sorry if this didn't help much, anon. I'm not the best to go to for this, but I hope it helped a little! Good luck!

[rolkstone]

Im so sorry that you have to deal with that counselor and get a rude message even tho you didn't do anything wrong. I am praying for you that you stay in your full 90 days, It really unfair for you to deal with that kind of person. All you did was vent and that is it and that person dare to get mad and send a message to you acting like their the victim and you're the problem? that is fucking stupid. I hope you talk to the staff more cause aleasts they are helping you. Ik what it like to be stuck with a person I dislike or infected me with rage. I'm praying for you to get better

thank you for this message; I really appreciate the validation and the kindness. This counselor is supposed to come in today and I'm a nervous wreck about it because I'm sure he's going to want to talk to me. I feel like I'm being a problem whenever I ask for literally anything; though admittedly that could be due to my own insecurity. But of course getting a message like that isn't going to help that. I've talked to another staff member about it and she said "maybe it was tough love" which just infuriated me and made me feel invalidated.

I still dont' know how long I can stand to be here. It would probably be best if I stay the full 90 because I'm not healed from my addiction yet (and probably never will be). It would suck to let one asshole stand in the way of my recovery. I have decided that I will try to be as happy as I can be while I'm here. I will be pleasant and calm at all times with the staff and will keep my requests to a minimum. Thankfully I have the VA to go to for things like that job training thing. The staff here doesn't know the full situation and can't do what a Veteran Service Officer can do anyway.

thank you again. I am sending you good vibes anon!

[jdeanmorgan]

hi! kinda serious topic: im demisexual (have known for a couple years already) and im recently discovering myself as on the aromantic spec as well. I have a hard time discerning romantic love from a planotic one, i dont know if my crushes were actually crushes or people i admired/ felt comfortable with/ just thought that were beautiful (im working on it tho). The thing is, i went to my best friend to vent about it, since he is usually a source of comfort for me and helps me through hard times.. but for some reason, me saying "im afraid to comit to a relationship and hurt my partner feelings if mine ends up being not quite 'romantic' or 'sexual' as i thouight they would be" meant to him "i will not comit to any relationship. i dont care about my partners, even if they love me.'.. and that hurt so much. my automatic answer when im upset is to ignore and keep going (noah kahan gowing sideways defines me tbh lol), but that reaction stayed with me. so im afraid to come out to other people. and to make it harder, i also came out as nonbinary(to 3 friends, best friend not included). so..idk.. im quite lost. idk how to feel or what to do. again, usualy my reaction is to 'step sideways' and move on. forgive and forget. to stop thinking about it bcz it hurt otherwise. but its taking a tool on me.

sorry for the long text, and for droping this bomb on you. i just saw your bio and i felt..safe to talk to you. feel free to ignore me if this too much for you! sz

my inbox will always be open for stuff like this !!

yeah, that's a tough situation to be in! I get it, though. I'm demisexual and nonbinary, and I have always identified under the ace umbrella myself, because I feel the similarly, I don't know if my crushes were, you know, crushes, or if I just really liked the person as a friend, you know?

It's always hard to come out, no matter who you're coming out to, unfortunately. I would hope your best friend would listen if you brought it up and/or tried to explain how you feel better, but it's up to you when/if you feel comfortable to talk about anything like this again, but you don't owe anybody en explanation either.

I normally do not come out to anybody, like, I avoid it like the plague, I just let people assume whatever they want (my mom is the only person I've ever "come out" to, and that's because she figured it out and straight up asked me), so I might not be the best person to give advice, but will be here if you want to vent to. my inbox is open!

sending you love, anon! <3

[demented-trashcan]

Hey hiiiiiii!! Greetings, im terribly sorry for being this direct. But my little kitty needs your help, i know times are tough but please if you have some time to spare, kindly boost/share the post I pinned for her. It would be so meaningful to me as I’m hoping it would reach more people.. please 💔🙏 praying you’d consider, and pls kindly send me a msg for a response so I could atleast thank you for doing us a favor! Wishing you good health and peace! 🫶🏽

Hello, Sir, Madame, creature from hell what ever you are, you must be from Twit... X. (if you're not I'm sorry for insinuating)

1) if you use too many emojis I will think your a bot (hold off behavior from YouTube)

2) boost is kinda vague on this site, do you mean reblog or blaze? Cause I ain't blazing your shit.

3) who the hell are you?

4) clout on here means jackshit. Taylor Swift uses this app/site, does anyone care? No

5) my ask box is for stupidity and anon hate not save my pet likes = prayers bullshit

6) if you want me to look at something, link it, I don't know who the hell your cat is

7) I don't pay any attention to who follows me, if you're following me and I don't recognize you. It's nothing personal.

[canongf]

hi liv! you dont have to answer this if you dont wanna, but i just wanna ask for some advice possibly! so im having trouble with really letting myself feel all my feelings for this f/o i have because of our age difference. i tend to not change my s/is much, but i feel like id have to age myself up and be different to love him. i am a young adult but i feel like someone could judge me for loving my f/o. hes in his 50s and its like a 30+ year age gap. and its hard to imagine he could even like someone like me. not just the age gap but me being much less capable and 'tough' like him.

and ive tried to not feel like this, but also dont want to stop loving him. i dont want to like open up to it and then realise that he wouldnt really want to be with me or that we're too different. so im just sort of conflicted and stuck not being happy about it but also not knowing what to do, sorry if this is confusing!

on another note, thank you for being the presence that you are in the community! you have a very beautiful energy that really shines through. seeing your posts and the positivity you spread is really encouraging. anyway, i hope youre doing well, and thank you again! <3

hi anon!!! 🖤

first!!! the compliment about my energy is so beyond kind and so beyond special to me and i have been holding it close to my heart since the first time i read it. being here is one of the best thing to ever happen to me and it means the world that i have even the tiniest presence in this community!!! i can't tell you how much this message means to me!!!

and second!!! i get how you're feeling and i'm sorry you're feeling it!!! it's a hard place to be!!! but i want you to know a couple things!!!

anon, you don't ever have to be different to be loved by your f/o. you are loved exactly as you are and you are deserving of being loved exactly as you are. yeah, some people are uncomfortable with age gaps and they're allowed to be. but this ship isn't about some people, it's about you. you're an adult and he's an adult, and you're allowed to do what feels right to you.

and i know it's really easy to get in our heads about this kind of thing, but have you ever tried getting into his? sometimes it really helps to put things in perspective! because in your mind, you're young. you're not as tough, you're less capable. you wonder how he could love you. but in his mind, he's old. he's not as lively and bright as he once was. he's rough around the edges now. and he can't imagine how someone like you could want to be with him. he's not worrying about your insecurities, he's worrying about his own.

we've all got reasons why we wouldn't work out with our f/os, but ultimately the only things that matter are the reasons why we would. who cares about being different from each other. who cares about what people might think. it sounds like you've got a real special connection and a real genuine love for him, anon. and that's enough!!! 🖤

[taegularities]

hey rid, i was hoping i could vent/get ur advice on smt? u don't need to post this if u dont want to!

im an elementary education major and i rlly want to be a kindergarten teacher... like rlly bad. i still remember my first day of kindergarten and i knew from that moment that's exactly what i wanted to be. i changed my mind a couple of times (mainly because of family pressure) but i always came back to teaching. my dad is so not supportive about it and it usually doesnt get to me, but it rlly is rn. he's one of my favorite people in the world and i love him to bits, but it absolutely destroys me that he still cant be supportive of it. i want nothing more than to make him proud but i dont think i can as a teacher.

it's been getting to my head and now im uncertain if i wanna be a teacher or not.. like i cant see myself being anything but a teacher, but knowing all the cons (the low pay, the amount of people leaving the field) it scares me and is rlly discouraging me. i feel like i need to choose my head and be practical rather than choosing my heart and following my dreams, but i almost feel like i would be betraying myself if i did that. im genuinely so lost and dont know how to feel about it :( any advice would help!

- wife from war anon 💂‍♀️(side note, why do i feel so nervous signing my tag on this ask HAHA)

hey babe !! don't worry about it, you can vent anytime <3 i'm sorry it's been affecting you like that :(

it's a difficult situation you're in, and i understand how it must feel to not have someone's support on something so important, especially when that person means so incredibly much to you. but that said, in the end it'll be you who'll be stuck with a job for the foreseeable future.

the problem is that, in life, you can't always satisfy everyone, right? and if you keep trying to do just that, you might end up neglecting your own needs and desires and that might affect your mental health in the long run. so what i'm trying to say is – if you feel like that's the job for you and you really can't be happy anywhere else, then you should stay. ugh i know, the pay in this area is a full disappointment, the entire teacher body has been complaining for years lol i guess that's something that's a constant.

but are there perhaps courses or people you know that could go through opportunities that you might like? something or someone professional? oftentimes, there are jobs out there that cater to your interests, but you just don't know it yet. or perhaps you could be a tutor on the side, for some extra money?

it's a tough situation, but i hope you get through it and know that your stress is valid – still, please remember, that in the end it's your life, and it's you who you need to make happy. if your gut's telling you you'd betray yourself if you did something else, then that probably means something. i found a few links (i'm not sure if they're good, but maybe you could try?): 1, 2, 3.

i'm so sorry you've been feeling that way, love 🥺 vent anytime you need... i hope things get better soon 🤍

[1d1195]

hiiii !!! i finished ding and i just jasndjfhkadjadj I ADORE them🥹 they truly are just perfect for each other (girl omggg i NEEEEED a future blurb about the rematch and him winning he deserves it after all that anxiety😭 also you should do something where bc they do a rematch and none of them consider that first fight a real match IF HE WINS THE ONE STRIKE IN HIS LOSS COLUMN SHOULD JUST DISAPPEAR LMFAEJFKK)

I WAS SOOOOOO HAPPY TO SEE A TRADITIONAL BLURB !!!!! idk what it is about them but they just have a special place in my heart, i think when you were first posting the series i was just in a really different place in my life, not bad but not really good it was sort of an adjusting period, and i would get on here and read them and they just made me feel sooooo good and it was just a safe place to get lost in and everything. your writing truly is such a blessing thank you so much sam <3

AND THENNNNN last night i couldnt sleep so i was scrolling on here and i saw an anon mention committed and i realized I HADNT READ IT YET so you know i went back and read everything including their blurbs and ohhhh myyyy goodnessss😩😩 THEYRE SOOOOO ADORABLE they way they were just soooooooo down bad for each other ???? i need that otherwise it would never work between me and someone else. THE JEALOUSY BLURB WAS PERFECTION AND THEIR FIRST TIME ?????? AHHHHHHHHH

things are kinda boring on my end, it's officially iced coffee season again and i LOVE THAT. i CANNOT drink it during winter i already tend to run cold so that just pushes me off the edge and i just cant warm up again but now its hot out and im not sick anymore!!🥳 so thats fun

music wise i havent really been listening to anything new but i was on the phone with my sister this morning and i turned on Magic by 1D and its suchhh a fun song😭 ive been feeling more upbeat songs lately and that one has been on repeat ALSO last first kiss :))

hope your doing absolutely amazing lmk whats new with you what've you been up to ??

~🎶

Ahhhhh! Hi! I've been thinking of you! Glad to hear you're not sick anymore! I don't have very many new songs either--I'll have to look! I'm def PMSing so I'm looking for depressing songs to fit my mood rn lol. I'm back on my Noah Kahan kick. MAGIC IS SUCH A BOP. I use it to help me clean my apartment.

I'm so glad you liked Ding and I'm thinking that's a great idea 😉 I'll try to work it in!

That's really sweet about Traditional. It's def the series most people seem to like overall. I'm sorry you were in a tough place but it makes me happy you felt safe here on my little blog. It means a lot to me 💕

I loved Committed! I think it was a random idea (not super suggested) or at least I hope it wasn't because I can't remember. I just liked that TikTok that went with it 😂😂 They were oblivious little cuties for sure. Loved them 💕 SO glad you got to read something knew from me even though I'm def gonna be slow this week! I remember you saying you liked to read finished series so that's probably for the best. They were being annoying part way through if I recall. Not quite a cliffhanger but very Ross-Rachel just shut up and be together sort of thing 😉

I'm SCREAMING about iced coffee season. I drink it year round. My friends send me the snowblower memes during storms that say like "need anything from dunkin?" it's so me. I'm happy for you though! It's like it's officially summer once you start right? That's good news!

Tbh May was really tough for me in about every direction. I'm still kind of overwhelmed with a lot of stuff, but summer is looking more relaxed while still doing a bunch of things. The highlight of the last few weeks was probably reading my trashy romance book and going to a couple book stores and getting more books that I shouldn't have 🤭 It's also POLLEN SEASON around here and it's quite miserable. But it's okay, I will be fine. Just got to get through a few more days of craziness 😅

SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU! LOVE YOU!

xoxo

[gb-patch]

Hi, the 'refund ask' person here. Please don't feel pressured to give an answer, I just want to clarify and apologize for a few things, for whoever is behind this acc, reading and taking their time to give detailed answers :)

First, I am sorry, truly, for coming across as a rude person who would scam a small business, and such valuable creators and artists. It was not my intention. I didn't think of it in the moment, I didn't even think that my question would be answered. (Which obviously changes nothing because you would still read it, and it apparently took me a while to realize, but you are a real person. A personal 'sorry' here.)

Like you said, it definitely was an 'it doesn't hurt to ask' mindset that I wrote the question with. Thank you for assuming I meant well, I really did. But I do see my fault now, so really, really thanks for taking your time to explain it in detail. In retrospect, no matter how 'well' I meant, I was in the wrong. To put it mildly, I was ignorant. It feels stupid to say it, but I guess I needed to hear from someone that I couldn't just give someone money, take what they're offering, and ask for my money back. It wasn't how I viewed my question then, but it definitely is now. Also, they might not see this, but a sincere thank-you to the other people who commented on my ask, for making me see how wrong my words sounded when they weren't just in my head. It was a lesson learned, to say the least.

Also, please understand that I didn't mean to say it wasn't worth $5 for 'just a moment', even though I did say it that way. I see how I could've worded that differently. Each and every moment of the story is super important to me, and believe me, I do think thay they all are worth way more than what you're charging, or mostly, not charging. However, it was silly and greedy to ask you to just give away even more of those beautifully made moments. Of course it is your right to charge for your hard work, and I am actually glad you're doing so.

I know it doesn't change anything, or take back what I previously said (no matter how much I wish it could) but I really wanted to make sure you didn't think there was someone in your audience who would be willing to scam you and even shamelessly ask for permission to see if they could. Again, not the intention at all.

Finally, it is actually so nice to see that a small company like yours has a lot of supporters willing to defend it. My question definitely wasn't a scam attempt, but if it were, I'm so glad to see that it wouldn't succeed or go unnoticed.

I will keep on supporting you, albeit silently for the time being, and playing your games for as long as I can. Our Life is an absolute delight of an experience, it inspired me a bunch, helped me through some tough moments in my own life, and is a game that is far more than just a game to me. I can't wait to see what you put out there next. You guys are some of the best out there in my opinion. Love what you do, love the way you communicate with your audience, and love how you handle crises like this. Hope you all have very nice lives where you can create to your heart's content :)

Sorry for the drama I caused, and sorry again, bc this ask is too long :) Thank you for reading.

It's alright. You don't need to apologize. I'm happy you were sympathetic to where I was coming from and that's all I would want. You didn't upset me or cause me any harm and I absolutely don't want you feel unwelcome over asking a question. It took years to make a game that could make people happy, but in only minutes I can sour the experience for people forever with what I post in these ask answers. I hope to avoid that as much as possible.

Not long before you sent your answer, there was another ask about this that was understanding of your situation.

"Im NOT that anon but I'm kind of sad how many other anons are judging them and seem to be a bit eurocentric? not everyone who plays these games have the same currency or similar currency conversiom rate as someone whos family is from venezuela, $5 is barely enough to buy flour, rice, and fish so what may seem like pocket change to you might be all someone else could live on. scummy would be to do so without ask. just disappointed bc i thought this community was more open-minded"

I agree that money is a difficult thing to get and people can't be blamed for not being able, or simply not wanting, to use it on visual novel content. Though, it is also a sore spot for artists who are very familiar with people who flat out devalue their time/effort and think there's no reason to pay for it. It can be hard to always take the question of 'can I get your hard work for free?' with no frustration. But that wasn't the intention of the original question.

If it the question had gotten a different type of response people wouldn't have felt the need to come to my defense over it. At the end of the day, I'm the one who could've avoided this and answered the question in a way that left the asker and the other readers satisfied/informed. It went too far this time.

It's always hard to know how to manage these situations. When a question comes along about a touchy topic but I think it's important to answer, I try to make it definitive and also to make clear that this doesn't open the gates for future asks about this. If I don't, then inevitably more asks come in and I either have to keep addressing/arguing a topic or ignoring them without explanation. It can make a development blog about posting previews a pretty unpleasant place. But if I use one ask to make an overall statement, it can come across unnecessarily strong against the single question the asker sent in.

To the OP, I'm sorry for making you feel like what you did was a huge mistake. It really wasn't. It was a just question over a policy that was intended as neutral and ended up with extra meaning put on it because of outside circumstances/other people's prior and potential actions. I hope you're able to feel reassured after all of this.

And the last thing I'll say is that future asks commentating about the situation won't be posted.

Thank you again for playing!

[kaijuno]

Jewish anon: (You don't have to answer if you don't want to. No pressure. This is mostly just for you)

The garbage I've had to put up with I feel has me more bold in how I talk to people like that. When I was younger I'd throw hands and I'm still proud that I did. But now that I'm older it's interesting to remind them how privileged they are to have so much family still alive when so much of mine is ash. To look them straight in the eye and say "when your grandfather is the only member of his entire family left alive, don't expect sympathy from me". They're not used to having the roles reversed and it makes them angry and uncomfortable, because theyre supposed to be the ones with the power, not me. Well tough shit, Mary, that's been my entire life and I'm not going to be gentle just because you're sensitive and have never had anyone curse you the way you cursed me.

So I know you've been having a hard time recently, and I hope this can help you even just a little bit: Live. Even if it's just out of spite like me. Live. Someone out there might not want you to still be here, so live your best life purely to shove it in their face and say, "Fuck you. May my mere existence bring you misery and your misery shall bring me joy." Zol er krenken un gedenken, let him suffer and remember. Vi tsu derleb ikh im shoyn tsu bagrobn, I should outlive him long enough to bury him.

So for you, Kaijuno, live well. Live spitefully if need be, and don't feel sorry about it. You shine too bright to suddenly go dark 💖

“it's interesting to remind them how privileged they are to have so much family still alive when so much of mine is ash” is such a powerful line to me

And yes I’ve been having a rough time but it humbled me knowing it could be so much worse. Thank you for sharing your story.

I felt a similar way coming out to my dad. He’s your typical old fashioned grandpa type and because I came off to him so stubborn he just. Accepted me. As I was. He hangs a pride flag in his dining room to this day because I’m stubborn like him and wouldn’t take no for an answer

[tears0fsatan]

hi hi!! itsa me, 🔶 anon and i am here with another rq. may i request zhongli comforting gn!reader who's been feeling depressed and hopeless for a while ?? i think you can tell that my life has been. such an emotional roller-coaster for me BKWJDKKSJF i just need my emotional support rock grandpa

𖥻 characters... zhongli x gn!reader

𖥻 genre... comfort + a lil bit of fluff

𖥻 warnings... relationship between reader and zhongli isn't specified, zhongli calls reader terms of endearment, geo grandpa is a lil ooc

𖥻 a.n... welcome back 🔶 anon !!!! :DDDDDD im sorry to hear things have been tough lately :[ times can be rough but i'm glad to know you've stuck around for so long n i hope that these feelings pass soon :] sorry that this is on the shorter side n for being mia, i was at a friends birthday party and ended up getting whiskey poured in my mouth by a drag queen named beyonce lol

the stars hung bright in the dark and quiet evening sky, a cool breeze wafted over the night making your tear stained face feel sticky. as the night wore on, the busy city of liyue lulled into a calm atmosphere with only the sound of crickets and the wind keeping you company. the empty feeling in your chest remained present even after hours had passed since you finished crying.

"what seems to be troubling you tonight, my love?" the familiar voice of the geo archon broke the silence of the night, you hadn't even noticed his footsteps. normally, you would've turned to face the archon, but tonight you just couldn't seem to find the energy to do so.

you stayed silent and took a quick glance at zhongli as he took a seat beside you. he didn't push you to answer, knowing you would tell him when you were ready and basked in the quietude.

after a few minutes of sitting together and saying nothing, you rested against zhongli's shoulder before closing your eyes and letting out a sigh.

"it feels like nothing is ever going to change and time is slipping through my fingers. i don't know what to do anymore, zhongli. days have just been so dull and i can't escape it." you croaked out, voice hoarse from all your sobbing earlier.

the man behind you said no words, reaching his hand up to stroke your hair while the other went to curl around your shaking shoulder.

"my dear, it's easy to feel that way with how the world works these days. everyone rushes through life so early on they forget they have their entire lives ahead of them." the archon spoke softly but it was as if his words reverberated in your chest.

"what's with all the rush? while it is true time passes by in the blink of an eye, you're forgetting that you have so much of it left. during moments like this, it's as though all the good aspects of life have left your mind and everything reminds you of all the negatives." zhongli spoke with so much experience in his tone, like he knew that everything would be fine, that you would be fine, and you couldn't help but cling onto that hope.

"there's nothing wrong with having a little hope in life. after all, i'd say that's what makes life worth living."

he looked down at you and offered you a smile, knowing full well you couldn't resist returning one back. you groaned and covered your face, feeling embarrassed to let him see you in such a messy state.

"you're so cheesy sometimes, you know that?"

"you remind me everyday, darling."

© 2022 TEARS0FSATAN. please don’t repost, modify or translate my works anywhere!