#i hope this chapter lives up to it
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The totally unedited rough draft of this chapter is over 5k words long...
(For me, this is a long boy chapter)
Also, have an exclusive sneak preview of it!:
This is literally the least spoilery section of this whole chapter
#so much plot#the effects of this chapter are going to last for the rest of the story#its very important#i am not gonna apologize for the last cliffhanger though#that was very intentional#i hope this chapter lives up to it#because its so important#i want to take my time editing it#so itll probably be up either tomorrow night or the next day#we will see#lots of emotions to work through
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I Said Just a Little Bit, Then I Got a Taste of It
Chapter IV
bjorn x fem!reader
summary: After being transferred to another sector of Jackson's Star you reluctantly befriend a ragtag group of people with the exception of one cocky asshole who knows just how to get under your skin.
On the surface, you hate each other, but after experiencing a particularly harrowing event together, the two of you grow closer than anyone else could ever imagine.
a/n: alright, the moment you've all been waiting for, it's nothing but smut from start to finish!! I took a mini-break to write something else but I plan on getting chapter v, maybe even vi out before I post part ii of let's make love!! this fic is gonna be around 8-9 chapters if I follow the outline I have laid out so we're at the halfway point now (Ëśáľ áľ áľËś) alsoâalways remember to wrap it up girlies!!
warnings: secret friends with benefits, enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol/drug use, nsfw, non-linear narrative, trauma bonding, resolved sexual tension, praise kink (both ways), oral (giving), loss of virginity, dirty talk
tags: @asvtrials @urfavhanna @orangebeauty @3arthtoeden @barnes70stark (comment if you wanna be notified when a new chapter drops)
wc: 2.8k
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If this really is the end, maybe this isn't such a bad way to go outâmaking out with someone as hot as Bjorn.Â
It's been awhile since you've kissed anyone, more than a little out of practice, not that Bjorn seems to mind, slipping his tongue in your mouth, overwhelming it.Â
Your fingers thread through the sweaty tangle of his hair, dislodging some of the loose sediment and debris that had showered you both earlier, your other palm sliding up the side of his neck to cradle him just below the jaw, the slick, wet noise of your tongues meeting echoing through the limited space.Â
This is the last thing you ever expected to happen, apart from the cave-in, swapping spit with your sworn enemy while you await your inevitable demise. Always assumed if anything were to go down between you two it would be homicide, with you in cuffs and Bjorn six feet under.Â
In reality you are much, much further down below LV-410's surface, spending your last few moments alive with the last person you wanted to spend them with. At least, that's how you felt prior to you and Bjorn's little heart-to-heart, able to come to an understanding that whittled the strain down to almost nothing. Â
Bjorn's hand drifts from where it's cradling your cheek down and over your grimy t-shirt, yanking the hem free from the cinched waistband of your standard-issued cargo pants it's tucked into. Slips it underneath the ratty fabric to touch your bare skin, skimming the flat of his calloused palm over your stomach up to the underwire of your bra, flirting along the edge.Â
He slips his hand under that too, cupping the entirety of your breast, the dry rub of his thumb over your nipple hurting just right.Â
âBjorn,â you whine, watching him pull back, a string of saliva stretching between your lips, the lighting casting orange shadows to dance across his face, eyes heavy-lidded and narrow, âplease.â
Immediately obliging, he rucks your cotton tee and bra up and over your collarbones so your tits are out, arms coming up to cover yourself on reflex when he stops you, pinning your wrists in the dirt above your head with one hand.Â
âDonât go shy on me now, princess, we've only jusâ started," exceptâitâs Bjorn's turn to go shy, cheeks turning an uncharacteristic shade of pink as he looks down and away, voice a little insecure when he whispers, âjusââtell me if it feels good or not.âÂ
Then he's diving forward to close the distance between your body and his, the broad stroke of his tongue over your nipple making you writhe beneath him.Â
What he lacks in experience he makes up for in enthusiasm, sucking with a fervor that has you feeling hot all over before he's switching to the other side, replacing his mouth with his hand to fondle your heaving, wet breast at the same time. There's a saying that passion is an extension of hatred.
âOhâfuck,â you whimper, almost having forgotten how euphoric it feels to have someone else touch you so intimately, âso good. You sure you've never done this before?â
That seems to spur him on, gaining more confidence as he continues working over your chest, blowing warm air over the cool wetness of your nipples, starting to soak through your underwear as a result and you haven't even gone that far. Yet.Â
âGod if only yaâ could see urself right now,â Bjorn groans, low and breathy, âLookinâ like a propaâ wet dream.âÂ
Bjorn lets your wrists go to rip both of your shirts off, pulling him down into another filthy, wet kiss, lifting your shoulders off the ground long enough to unhook your bra for you, swallowing each other's moans.Â
You're aware that you're running on borrowed time, the shaky rumble of the tunnel you're hooking up in providing a morbid reminder. Breaking the kiss, you lightly push back against his naked chest when he tries to chase after you, sharing winded breaths between your barely separated lips.Â
âEasy now,â you chuckle, tucking a sweaty curl behind his ear, over the little frowny face he has tattooed there,âyou still wanna lose your v-card, don't you?âÂ
The nod he offers you is quick, eagerâdefinitely virginal, turning you on more than you thought it would. There's just something insanely hot knowing you're the first to touch him like this, the only one so far to witness him desperate for more.Â
âOn your back,â you tell him, naturally taking charge, cutting him off right before he can interject, ânow be a good boy and listen. Can you do that for me?âÂ
You watch the rapid flutter of his lashes at the pet name, the whites of his eyes showing as his pupils roll back into his head like he just came from that alone. Wellâwho would've figured Bjorn to have a praise kink; deciding to file that away, planning on weaponizing it to your complete advantage.
âOhâdid you like that? Me calling you a good boy,â you purr, reveling in the breathy moan he gives back in response, feeling a little powerful as he follows your instruction, sprawling out without any push back. âThere you go, just like that. Look at you taking direction so well.â
Kissing down his chest and over the thin happy trail disappearing into his pants, you feel him shiver in anticipation. You pull the metal prong on his belt, unfastening the leather until the strap is lying on either side of his hips, hands a little shaky.Â
You're just as nervous as he is, wanting it to be good for his firstâand lastâtime, opening his zipper, the gold teeth revealing the tented fabric of his briefs as you yank it all the way down, damp from pre-come. He's looking forward to this just as much as you are.Â
âI���m gonna go down on you,â you explain, Bjorn drawing a ragged intake of breath into his lungs hearing that, assuming neither of you have lube on you, âneed you nice and wet, then you're gonna get me nice and wet if we're gonna make this happen. Okay?âÂ
A smirk stretches across his lips as his chin raises, a fraction of that familiar cockiness returning, finding it more attractive than you normally would, âOh? Gonna gag on it, princess?âÂ
âI can't believe I'm seriously about to put your dick in my mouth,â you grumble, choosing to keep up the illusion of irritation, if only to slightly detach yourself from the situation you've found yourself in, from the exceedingly foreign flicker of your heart. Â
You unsheath his cock from the unbuttoned fly of his underwear, eyes going wide when you finally lay eyes on him. Fuck. He's big. Of course he is, his grossly misplaced confidence making a lot more sense now.Â
âDroolinâ already, love?â He laughs, loosely steepling his fingers together behind his head, face rearranging into something incredibly smug.Â
Rather than saying anything you let a fat glob of spit fall from your mouth to make the slide easier, working your way up from base to tip, mixing your saliva with his pre-come, fueled by the continuous stream of moans he's feeding you.Â
Your mouth closes around him, the few strands of hair that had come loose from your ponytail framing your face, hollowing your cheeks to pay special attention to his head, the bitter taste of salt spreading out across your tongue.
Bjorn's sensitive, you can immediately tell, judging by how responsive he is to everything you're doing, swearing a litany of curses under his breath as your tongue massages the underside of his cock, swirling around it, babbling things like, âfuckâjusâ like tha,â ur a fuckinâ pro aâthis, holy shitâ and, âmâ gonna come if yaâ keep this up, princess.âÂ
You pull off with an audible wet pop, shushing Bjorn when he starts to whine at the loss, ânow, now. Can't have you coming too soon, can we? Not when we haven't even gotten to the best part.â
He gets the hint to sit up after tugging on his wrist, chest heaving and flushed down to his navel like he just ran a marathon. You didn't think it was possible for Bjorn to look this devastatingly attractive but he's once again proven you wrong, not that you mind at all in this case.  Â
âAlright,â you say, getting on your knees to rip your pants and underwear down and off your legs, shuddering under the weight of his lustfully heedy gaze, staring at your soaking wet core as he licks his lips nice and slow. âMy turn.â
Drawing his wrist to your mouth, you wrap your tongue around two of his dirty fingers up to the last knuckle so you can suck them clean, get them ready, âgonna teach you how to open me up, get me nice and stretched for your cock. Would you like that?â You check, words a bit muffled with your mouth preoccupied. Â
Bjorn groans watching you, hastily nodding his approval, following the path your tongue takes as you curl it around and splice between, finding satisfaction in how much he's enjoying your little show. Which is brand new for you, never having gotten this turned on by giving your bed partner pleasure.Â
Once you've deemed them sufficiently wet enough you lead his fingers down between your thighs, sliding between your folds, lashes fluttering at the contact, âur fuckinâ drippin,â princess. Allatâ jusâ foâ me?âÂ
You don't even have it in you to deny it, whimpering âyes,â as the first finger goes in with ease, pushing and pulling his wrist to steadily fuck it in and out of you, twisting and telling him to curl it upward, hitting your g-spot dead on.Â
âGod that'sâyou're doing so good, such a good boy,â Bjorn diving forward and shoving his tongue down your throat in another desperate, filthy kiss, pumping his finger faster, repeatedly brushing over the same spot you told him about that has your thighs trembling and your eyes rolling. He's certainly a quick learner.Â
His second finger joins the first upon your instruction, scissoring them apart to stretch you wide open, foreheads leaning against each other while you both watch them disappear inside you, fragmented breathing and occasional moans punctuating the shared air between you.Â
It doesn't take long before you're pulling his fingers out, licking them clean to get him even more riled up, jaw getting tight as he grits his teeth, looking like he wants to devour you whole, causing heat to coil through you. Fuck, you've never wanted anyone more.Â
âSo howdyaâ wanna do this?â He asks, reclining back, keeping himself propped up on his elbows so he can stare up at you appreciatively.Â
Your answer is immediate, having already thought about it earlier, crawling over his body to straddle his hips and hover just above him, âgonna ride you.âÂ
You figure it'll be the best position to do it in, will give you complete control, being able to set the pace and angle while Bjorn can just lie there and reap all the benefits. Â
He smirks hearing your answer, cocking his head sideways as his eyebrows raise, arches disappearing underneath his bangs, âfuckinâ knew yaâ wanted taâ sit on it.âÂ
âBjorn,â you scold, pushing squarely against the abdominal muscle in his solar plexus until he's lying flat on his back again, âbe a good boy and shut up.â
That does the trick, moaning a âkayâ as you get ready to sink down, feeling the blunt pressure of his head against your entrance when you realize something importantâhe isn't wearing any protection. How did you almost overlook something like that? The arousal must be clouding whatever critical thinking skills you're still working with.
Wait,â you pause, grabbing his attention, listening to him whine in annoyance at you to ânot be a fuckinâ cocktease,â lightly slapping his chest in retaliation, âdo you have any condoms on you?âÂ
âHuh?â He blinks, moony-eyed, mirroring your dumbfounded expression, clearly also thinking with the wrong head, ânah, why would I?âÂ
âDamn it,â you groan, considering backing out of the whole thing, not sure if you really want to let him hit it raw. You've never let anyone fuck you without one, the only contraceptive Jackson's Star has to offerâis even willing to offer, their attempt to force a baby boom with how incredibly low the colonyâs population currently is. âWhy not?âÂ
âWell sorry taâ say I don't jusâ carry rubbasâ on me babes, nevaâ saw thaâ point since I wasn't gettinâ none ânyway. Besidesâdaâ we even really need one?â
âYou're joking, right?â You give him an incredulous look, thighs starting to tremble from how long you've been holding yourself up, âI don't want a UTI, fucking in a mineshaft is already reckless enough.â
That and you're definitely not looking to get knocked up, especially by Bjorn of all people, preferably by no one at all. You just can't imagine subjecting a baby to such a miserably hopeless situation like the one you're doomed to die in.Â
âWell thaâ won't really mattaâ when we're squashed like a couplaâ bugs, now willit?ââ he challenges, feeling your resolve waver, hating to admit that Bjornâs been making solid points throughout the night.Â
He's right. It won't matter, none of it does, not in the long run when your bodies are inevitably being dug out from under the rocks and support beams waiting to topple over onto you.Â
Soâyou make up your mind and sink all the way down, only stopping once you're fully seated in his lap, listening to the drawn out groan that escapes him when he's bottomed out.Â
âShit,â he whines, eyes momentarily closing while he adjusts to the tight, wet heat hugging his cock, âyaâ feel fuckin' incredible princess.âÂ
You place both hands on his chest to keep you stable as you start to move, lifting all the way up to the tip before dropping back down, your shared moans echoing off the walls around you.Â
His hands come up to squeeze your thighs hard enough to bruise, aiding you in the slick slide with his shirt balled up and pillowed beneath his head. You don't remember it ever feeling this goodâthis mind-blowing, your bodies molding together like they were made for each other.Â
The wet slap of skin fills the air, angling your hips to repeatedly hit your g-spot again, your orgasm building quick, reaching down to massage your clit in time with your bouncing.Â
Bjorn plants both feet on the dirt to fuck up into you harder, head falling back as your eyes close, slapping your hand out of the way to replace it with his own, âfuck. This is bettaâ than I coulda imagined, takinâ ma' cock so well. Gonna come soon.â Â
His arm circles your waist then, pulling you on top of him, taking the reins to thrust inside of you at his own erratic pace, moaning filthy shit into your ear like, âlove thaâ way yaâ moan foâ me,â and âur such a pleshaâ taâ use.â
He sucks a hickey into your neck, your chest sliding up and down his from the force of his hips, signaling he's about to bust with a low grunt, offering to pull out and aim it at you somewhere instead.Â
But it doesn't matter, right? Hearing an ominous grinding coming from the rubble behind you, blocking off the path leading to the tunnelâs entrywayâthe final collapse.Â
So you shake your head no, begging him to come inside you, to consummate your relationship and make you his just before the end. And he does, sliding in deep as he moans your name and releases everything he has to offer, milking you into an orgasm of your own, sucking a matching hickey into his clavicle.Â
Listening to the thump of his rabbiting heartbeat as your breathing starts returning to normal, you feel him press a kiss to your temple in a silent thank you. You want him to hold you, to keep you close and give you the illusion of safety as everything unavoidably collapses around you.Â
Exceptânothing ends up collapsing, realizing the grinding you heard is the sound of drilling, excavating through the rock and splintered wood to get to you, sharing a bewildered look with Bjorn when you both recognize it. You're not dying like you both thought, you're being saved.Â
Both of you barely manage to get dressed just as a sudden stream of headlamps flood through the hole that's been made, just big enough to accomodate one body at a time, your pupils going small under the bright white lights.
A small group of miners are crouched there, instructing both of you to quickly crawl to the other side towards them before everything ultimately comes down, rendering their little rescue mission futile.
You let Bjorn go first, still rooted to the spot, completely shell shocked as you watch him squeeze his way through with the help of some hands being extended out to him, not once glancing back your way.
You're gonna live to see another day. You just had unprotected sex with Bjorn and now you have no choice but to deal with the aftermath that tomorrow will inevitably bring.
#posting this a few hours late but i havent gone to bed yet so it still counts lol#hope this lives up to the hype#i hit 117 notes on chapter iii which is actually insane!!#you guys are the best#thanks for all the love it keeps me going#bjorn alien romulus x reader#bjorn alien romulus fic#bjorn x reader#bjorn alien romulus#alien romulus#spike fearn
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before it felt like a sin, ch. 2
ch.1
pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC
word count: 6900
summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.
And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.
She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.
a/n: here's chapter 2!! I just wanted to add these amazing beautiful drawings I look back on allllllll the time, by @kay9leo đĽšđŤś I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!!! ���đđđđđ
I also want to reiterate that this fic is REALLY CANON DIVERGENT!!!!! I will NOT be following the gameâs plot at all really with this (it really starts to diverge around chapter 6/7 maybe I donât remember), and I donât see Eloise as the gameâs MC either.
Things were definitely not going as plannedâŚnot that Eloise had really known what to expect. Almost from the moment the portkey had brought her to meet Professor Fig, it seemed like everything had gone from bad to worse.
And it had all started out so well. He had handed her the provisional wand, and upon contact the magic coursing through her had been exhilarating. Finally Eloise was able to experience what she had dreamed of for so long. All too soon, however, she was putting the wand to use in ways she hadnât imagined. Watching Mr. Ospric die had made her blood run cold but then she didnât have the luxury of processing the shock as so much was happening at once and there was a dragon and death and thenâŚanother portkey? Before she knew it, she was fighting some sort of sentient guardians in some mysterious Gringottâs vault and there was concrete proof of the goblin uprisingâŚit was simply too much to take in at once.
Now, she was standing in front of the ornate entrance to a room Professor Fig had called the âGreat Hallâ. He checked the pocketwatch inside his robes again, and muttered (more to himself than anything) âhopefully the sorting is still going onâŚâ and then in a louder voice as he glanced at Eloise - âcome along then, young Eloise!â
He peered more closely at her then, taking in her pale appearance and added in a kinder tone, âIâm sure youâre hungry. Weâll just head in and get you sorted into your house, and then an early night for the both of us. Donât worry about the things that were lost in the attack - Iâm sure one of your new housemates will share her things with you until they are replaced.â
With that, he pushed open the doors and ushered her in. In any normal circumstances, Eloise was sure that she would have been absolutely in awe of the breathtaking appearance that greeted her. It was simplyâŚfor lack of a better word, magical. The ceiling was enchanted to look like the night sky above the castle, stars glimmering through the wispy purple clouds that covered the ceiling. There were thousands of candles floating in the air, illuminating the hall in a soft, golden light.
She couldnât focus on any of that.
As soon as Fig opened the double doors, the low chatter that filled the Great Hall slowly faded as everyone turned to look at who had entered. Eloise froze. Hundreds of faces all staring at her, filled with curiosity.
Judging her.
They must all know that she was a squib and didnât actually belong there.
No. She had proved her magical capabilities earlier that day, albeit in a different manner than she had expected. She deserved to be here just as much as they did.
The teacher at the far end of the hall was saying something and the students surrounding her had begun to whisper amongst themselves. There was so much buzzing in her ears that she didnât hear a word that was said. Then, a familiar voice - how in the world could it still be familiar after so much time? - broke through the fog and her head turned sharply to the side at the noise.
âEloise?â
Her gaze met familiar hazel eyes as Leo quickly stood up, taking a step towards her before he caught himself and stayed where he was. If the shock hadnât already been apparent enough in his voice, one look at his expression told Eloise everything. He hadnât had any idea that she had been accepted to Hogwarts. After she had been burned off of the family tree by her mother, it was like she didnât exist anymore. Of course he hadnât known that she would be there.
Leo had changed since Eloise last saw him. Of course he did, she thought to herself. It had been five years, after all. The same unruly black curls, same eyes. And yetâŚhe almost seemed a stranger to her. He was taller, face more angular and defined than it had been at thirteen. Voice deeper. But, the expression of vulnerability and guilt written all over his face was something she recognized well. It was the same expression that he had had the last time he saw her, the face she sometimes saw before falling asleep. Just as quickly as it flashed across his face however, it was gone, hidden behind a stony exterior. His expression hardened and he sat down just as quickly as he had stood up, quickly averting his eyes. The people around him were looking between them curiously, but before Eloise could even begin to process this new situation, she felt a gentle push on her shoulder.
Professor Fig had been talking to her. ââŚthe Sorting Hat. You need to go up and get sorted into your house.â
She looked up at him and realized that he was gesturing to the front of the Great Hall, vaguely recalling how Leo had described the sorting ceremony in his first letter home from Hogwarts. Everyone was still staring.
Well, let them, she thought. Eloise tossed her braid over her shoulder and lifted her head high, straightening her posture in the meantime. Did it matter if everyone was staring at her? She determined that if people were going to be whispering about her, speculating about her, she would give them something to talk about. About the girl who was admitted in her fifth-year at Hogwarts. The girl who surpassed them all.
Eloise shook off Professor Figâs hand and walked to the raised platform, where there was a stool and a professor waiting with an ancient wizarding hat in her hands. As Eloise sat down, a semicircle of professors behind her and the tables of students in front of her, the hat was placed on top of her head. It was so formless and well-worn that the faded fabric slid over her eyes and she was surrounded by darkness.
HmmâŚinteresting, a voice purred in her mind. Eloise jumped at the sound. Donât worry, dear. I wonât hurt you, although I suppose that not everyone would say that. My, my. You have had a rough go of things, havenât you?
Itâs not often I get to sort a new fifth-year student. She realized that it was the hat talking to her. Always much more interesting, you see. The first-years are always fun because I get to see their potential and who they will turn out to be, but even that can be fallible sometimes. People are shaped by their experiences.
An older student, though? Someone closer to the person they will be, with more experiences that have shaped them? Oh yes, these are the ones I like the most.
Wait, thought Eloise. Youâve sorted others like me before?
Oh yes. A pause. The voice purred in her ear. I can see the hunger for knowledge in you. ButâŚRavenclaw seems too simplistic. Behind the intelligence lies great ambition. A desire to prove yourself. Prove you belong. Yes, you may have had a rough life but you have managed to use whatâs around you to your advantage. So, you must be aâŚ
âSLYTHERIN!â
Eloise started at the sudden shout, realizing that it must have been out loud. As the hat was pulled off of her head, she could see the students at the table at the far end of the hall, the one Leo was at, break into furious whispers amongst each other. The teacher with her smiled kindly and pointed Eloise in their direction. âThatâs the Slytherin table, dear. Once you sit down, we can begin eating.â
Eloise got up numbly and slowly walked towards the table. The whispering got louder as she neared it, and the students kept shooting her glances. Most seemed simply curious about the new, older student who had just been sorted into Slytherin, but others looked at her with hostility. Two students moved aside and motioned to her.
âFigured you would rather sit with us than the first years.â
The girl who spoke gave her an appraising look, taking in her muggle clothing and mussed-up hair. Eloise sat down next to her, nervously smoothing her hands over her skirt. Now that the sorting was over and she was actually interacting with her future classmates, she felt exhausted and completely unable to keep up her facade of nonchalance.
âI was going to ask if you like quidditch butâŚjudging by your clothes -â
âGods, Imelda,â came a drawling voice to Eloiseâs left. âCanât you give the poor girl a break? Not even one second at our table and youâre already trying to recruit her for the team.â
The boy who spoke gave an amused look to Imelda before turning to Eloise. âYouâll want to watch out for that one - if she even gets a whiff of the fact you can fly a broom, sheâll be out to recruit -â
âItâs not my fault!â Imelda interrupted forcefully, smacking her hands on the table and leaning over Eloise to talk to him. âOur best players all graduated last year and I have it cut out for me -â
â- you to the Slytherin team,â the boy concluded, ignoring Imeldaâs heated protests. She sat back with a huff and crossed her arms. âJust ignore her. Itâs what weâve found works best. Iâm Sebastian Sallow and this is Ominis Gaunt. Two people you will actually want to spend time with.â
He stuck his tongue out at Imelda as he held his hand out to Eloise. The boy across from them snickered quietly to himself as he listened to Imelda splutter in denial. Eloise shook Sebastianâs hand hesitantly. âEloise. And actually,â she added, turning to Imelda, âI do know what quidditch is. Unfortunately, Iâve never ridden a broom though.â
That got Imelda going again, this time about how it was absolutely impossible that someone could know about the existence of quidditch without ever touching a broom. She seemed to be of the opinion that knowing of its existence meant an undying desire to learn how to play. âSo youâre not a mudblood, then? Oh, who am I kidding - of course youâre not. Weâre in Slytherin, after all. But howâŚâ
Fortunately, food started appearing on the table before Imelda could finish her thought. It was enough to move her attention from Eloise as she began to pile different foods on her plate. To be quite honest, Eloise was relieved. She wasnât sure how much she wanted to tell others about her circumstances, especially during this first night before she knew anyone. Would they think differently of her if they knew that she had been disowned from her family and presumed a squib?
Who was she kidding? Of course everyone would judge her for that. Besides, she knew she wanted to talk to Leo before revealing anything - maybe he could help her get a feel for how to approach the situation. If he wanted to even associate with her, that is. Once again, the thought passed through her mind that he could have changed through the years, just as she had. Their parents could be quite persuasive, and more often than not the two siblings had learned that it was easier to go along with them than against.
Leo had grown up with the adoration of their parents, showing magical prowess at the young age of three, when his favorite toys started following him around in a little parade. Eloise, on the other handâŚas the years passed and she still wasnât showing signs of anything at all, not even a measly show of a sneeze blowing her away, their parents started working to distance the siblings from each other. It hadnât been very effective and yetâŚwithout her presence, she could see him moving on in his life. Just as she had tried to do.
A sharp poke to her side. Eloise jumped and looked at Sebastian. âArenât you going to eat anything? You need to grab the good things before theyâre gone - itâs every man out for himself during the feasts.â
She looked around and, sure enough, the food on the plates was steadily going down. It all looked absolutely delicious - mountains of meat, bread, puddingsâŚher stomach growled loudly as she took it all in. Eloise hurriedly started putting the closest food to her on her plate, reaching over to give herself a heaping serving of mashed potatoes on the side. âThank you.â
âNo problem,â he replied after swallowing the food he was eating. âIâm sure youâve had a long day if you arrived that late to the sorting ceremony. As you walked up to the stool, Ominis and I had a bet about which house you would be sorted into. I told him, after my first glance at you, that I could tell youâd be one of us, but unfortunately, he - â
âHey! I can hear you,â Ominis said from across the table, leaning forward slightly. Eloise realized that he was blind - his eyes had no pupils at all. His gaze was unfocused but his head turned in her direction. He explained, âI could only sense your form as you walked down the Hall. And, for the record, before Sebastian can say otherwise, I said I could tell you would be a Slytherin. Will the blind jokes ever get old?â
âAs long as I have breath in my body - hey!â
Ominis had thrown a roll at Sebastianâs head which, surprisingly, hit its mark.
âI might not be able to see what just happened, but I know that Iâve just won,â Ominis said smugly, returning his attention to his plate.
Eloise just sat there, not really knowing how to react. This time, it was Imeldaâs turn to say, âjust ignore them. Luckily, we wonât need to see much more of them as the feastâs finishing up.â She wrinkled her nose in Sebastianâs direction, a gesture that was swiftly returned. Even though she had just met the three of them, Eloise couldnât help but feel happy just listening to their back-and-forth. She did feel a twinge ofâŚsomething, though, knowing that she could have been with them since their first year, if only her magic had shown itself sooner.
Mountains of dessert started to replace the remnants of the dinner: plum pudding, lemon tarts, cakesâŚit was more dessert in one place than Eloise had ever seen in her life. None of the students held back at all trying to get their favorites, especially if it was at the expense of another. The atmosphere was electric - everyone was excited to be back among their friends and catch up over everything that had happened the summer before, and Eloise was happy to just be among them.
She reached for a lemon tart, and when she looked up, she saw that Leo was staring at her intently. He looked away as soon as they made eye contact, but the moment didnât go past Imeldaâs notice.
âDo you know him?â she asked, nodding towards Leo. Eloise flushed and looked down at her plate, nodding reluctantly. She knew as soon as they went through role call the next day, everyone would know that she was a Babbit.
âYes, heâsâŚer -â
Eloise broke off, grabbing the nearest goblet of pumpkin juice and drinking the whole thing in one go. When she came up for air, Imelda was still looking at her expectantly. Eloise took a deep breath and tried continuing, but⌠âIâm not really sure,â is all that came out of her mouth.
Imelda furrowed her brow, clearly trying to figure out how that answer made sense and Eloise wasnât about to clarify for her. Although it wouldnât be long before it got out that they were siblings, she wasnât sure how much she wanted these new acquaintances to know about her at the moment. She had had enough pitying looks to last her a lifetime, and she just knew that once they found out she had been a squibâŚ
âHey Sebastian,â a pretty blonde girl said, leaning towards the group. She shot Eloise a curious glance but quickly looked back at her target. âWhereâs Anne? Is she still gone this year? What a pityâŚthe two of you areâŚwereâŚsewn together at the hip and I was looking forward to finally being the one who gets between the two of you this year.â At this, the girls surrounding her started tittering and she flipped her hair over her shoulder and pouted. âI thought there would be more of a challenge. But if youâre going to be the changed Sebastian again this yearâŚâ
âWhoâsâŚâ Eloise trailed off as she saw Sebastianâs expression. It had changed into something almost unrecognizable - at least, to someone who had only known him for all of forty-five minutes. He was looking at the girl with a mixture of barely-controlled fury andâŚsomething else that Eloise couldnât quite place. She shrank away from him as she took in his stricken expression.
âSheâs still sick,â he said shortly as he stood up. His hands bunched into tight fists and his body was shaking. Sebastian quickly turned and stormed down the hall. They all watched him go in silence; once he left, the blonde girl turned to Ominis.
âGods, whatâs his problem? So what if she misses a few days of school?â She looked around at everyone, pouting. âYou all know Iâm right. Last year he was a mess but he should be getting over it by now.â
âYou always speak before thinking, Victoria,â Ominis said tersely, getting up. âOne of these days, itâs going to get you in trouble. If you keep this up, when that happens nobody will be around to help you pick up the pieces.â With that, he strode away after Sebastian.
Eloise blinked and looked around. The rest of the students were starting to get up and slowly move towards their respective common rooms having finished their dessert, and the prefects were starting to herd the first-years along. Victoria laughed weakly and turned to her friends, effectively ignoring Eloise and Imelda as if they werenât there. âI think the summer holidays have made people extra sensitive this year. I honestly donât know what their problem is.â
âCome on, then,â said Imelda, shooting Victoria a dirty look. âLetâs head to the dorms.â
Eloise stood up and started following Imeldaâs lead. She was parting the students with ease as she walked through the crowd. Her strides were so long that Eloise had to half-jog to keep up with her. âOur common room is in the dungeons,â Imelda said, looking over her shoulder at Eloise. âThe other houses are creeped out by it, but they havenât actually seen it. Youâll see.â
Because of how quickly Imelda strode through the corridors and down the stairs, Eloise didnât have much time to take in the rest of the castle. She did however realize that they were winding through the corridors in such a way that she would be hopelessly lost if Imelda werenât with her. The two of them arrived at the Slytherin common room well before the other students due to Imeldaâs fast pace. As they entered the common room after saying the correct password - basilisk - Eloise couldnât help but look around in wonder. There was light piano music playing in the background - Chopin, Eloise thought she recognized it from her piano lessons at the muggle school. Even though the overall tones of the place were cool - blues and greens filtering through the tall glass windows and from the lamps, the checkered marble floors and columns giving off an air of cold elegance - the beautiful rugs and happily crackling fires made it all come together and seem oddly cozy. Various tables and desks were scattered around the space, and comfortable looking armchairs and couches crowded around low tables. Eloise could just picture it teeming with students studying after class or hanging out on the weekends. She knew that it was a place that could finally feel like home to her.
âI tried, Ominis,â came a hushed whisper from near the windows. Imelda and Eloise froze at the entrance to the common room and glanced at each other. âI just canât��do it. I know what you and Anne told me butâŚâ
âSebastian. Anne doesnât want you to wallow and waste your time here worrying about her. I know that youâre worried for her. I mean, I am too. You know sheâs like a sister to me.â
âYou have no idea,â Sebastian interrupted fiercely. His back was hunched over and he was holding his face in his hands. âIt should have been me. I canât live with myself. With this guilt.â
âNo, you -â Ominis cut himself off as the sound of the other students filtering in started to fill the room. The boys abruptly sat up straighter, although they didnât look at each other. Oblivious to the tension between the two, a group of second-years sat on the sofa right next to them, as they excitedly caught up with each other.
âIâll show you our room,â Imelda said, turning to Eloise. âIt gets pretty crazy here the first night back from any holidays, with everyone catching up. I donât know about you, but I want to get some sleep! Quidditch tryouts are next week and I already know how exhausting it will be.â
Eloise really was exhausted, and nothing sounded better to her than finally going to sleep. The dorms seemed to be set up so that the stairs going up led to the girlsâ dormitories, and the ones going down to the boysâ. Imelda explained that it was due to the fact that boys werenât to be trusted, and the stairs would turn into a slide if any boy attempted to go up them. It wasnât something that Eloise had even considered, due to the fact that she had just come from an all-girls school, but she flushed at the implication.
As they reached the staircase, they almost crashed into Sebastian. Imelda had been marching towards the stairs with a single-minded determination and Sebastian had been heading towards his with just as much purpose.
Eloise bounced off of his shoulder. She grabbed her own, wincing slightly. He was more solid than he looked. He looked blankly at the two girls before shaking his head and realizing where they were. âGods, Iâm so sorry. Iâm just -â he gave his head another little shake and saw that Eloise was holding her shoulder. âAre you hurt?â
âItâs fine,â Eloise reassured him. She gave a small smile. âIâve had worse, itâs really nothing.â
âYeah, yeah,â interrupted Imelda. She shot Sebastian a concerned look. âGo to bed. Weâll see you tomorrow.â
Imelda shook her head sadly and the girls resumed their path. âPoor boy. He hasnât been the same since the summer after our third year. I mean, he was always kind of obsessive, but in a charming way. He was on the quidditch team with me, and always really determined to be the absolute best, always working hard to show all of the other students they donât even know half as much as he does. That sort of thing, you know? Itâs not like he was insufferable, his charm drew everyone to him.â
She held the door open and Eloise walked in. It was a cozy circular room, with five four-poster beds. A small fire in the middle of the room warmed the whole place up, and Eloise was relieved to see it. When Imelda had told her that their dormitory was in the dungeons, she had immediately pictured a dark, cold, slimy space. Only one of the beds didnât have trunks placed at its foot, and Eloise went straight to it. Her trunk had been lost in the dragon attack. She was relieved to see a nightgown laid on top of the bed and a pair of green slippers neatly lined up on the floor; she hadnât been sure what she would wear.
Imelda sat down heavily on the bed next to Eloiseâs and started unlacing her boots. She continued talking. âThen, in our fourth year, he comes to school after summer holidays. Alone. He hasnât been the same since. Nobodyâs quite sure whatâs going on with his sister, except that itâs bad. Sheâs not expected to live much longer.â
âOh my god,â breathed Eloise. âI canât even imagine.â
âMe neither.â Imelda shook her head. âHe got into trouble left and right last year, there were even rumors of a duelâŚI donât think there was a single week where he didnât have detention. I mean, I donât blame him, but - he was taken off the team! This year he better not, I canât afford to lose my best beater again.â
The girls continued chattering quietly to themselves about other topics as they got ready for the night. Slipping into their nightgowns, braiding each othersâ hair, and, finally, slipping under the freshly turned bed covers. Eloise turned towards Imelda and simply whispered, âthank you.â Although they had just met, Eloise felt certain in the knowledge that she had just made her first friend.
Imelda waved her off. âItâs nothing. Get some sleep, the first day of classes is always overwhelming. I canât even imagine starting as a fifth-year.â
With that, she rolled over and soon Eloise heard her breathing deepen as she fell asleep. She stared at the canopy covering her bed for what seemed like an eternity. The low murmurs of the other girls as they came in and got ready for bed slowly morphed into drowsy good-nights, until finally the room was silent except for the steady tick of a clock and their breathing.
As tired as she felt, Eloise couldnât stop the racing of her mind. It felt like the last few days had more action than the entirety of her life. Even though banished had, at the time, been incredibly momentous for her, it paled in comparison to finding out that she actually was a witch and had been admitted to Hogwarts. She had used magic for the first time today. The rush of power that ran through her body when she cast spells was unlike anything else she had ever experienced. It just felt right. Like some part of her that had been hidden away had finally made itself known and she felt whole for the first time. She wondered if everyone else felt that same rush, that same desire to know and master absolutely every aspect of magical knowledge. She had been given a gift that until now had felt like a pathetic little daydream and she wasnât about to waste it now that she had it.
The clock kept on ticking lazily and still Eloise was awake. She eventually got up and after shrugging on a robe and slipping on the green slippers, headed towards the common room. She and Imelda hadnât spent much time in it earlier, and she wanted to see it at least once without any people, maybe as a space just for herself.
As it was even later in the night - it must have been around three - the fire had been extinguished and the light filtering through the windows had turned an even deeper shade of emerald green. It covered the mahogany furniture with an eerie light, as if Eloise had stepped into some strange underworld instead of the empty Slytherin common room. She trailed her hand along the velvet back of a sofa, mesmerized by the stark contrast of the green highlights and black shadows as her hand moved. Lazily twirling a globe as she walked past, the room silent except for her muffled footsteps.
It was precisely the silence that absorbed her completely. Being alone had always been her favorite thing; there was just something so special about being the only person in a place, feeling as if you were the only holder of some great secret. Eloise made her way towards the tall glass windows as if in a dream, not really noticing anything of her surroundings and yet taking it all in. The feeling of being there.
When she heard the soft voice she nearly jumped out of her skin.
âYou couldnât sleep either?â
Eloise whirled towards the voice, feeling as if her heart was about to burst through her chest. The student - a male - was sitting by one of the windows. Since the only light source was the windows, his face was entirely shrouded in black. Eloise was suddenly very aware of how indecently she was dressed to be outside of her dormitory. The sudden change from complete, eerie tranquility was shattered and she wrapped her robe more tightly around her, keeping her arms hugged around her body.
âWho -â
The boy straightened up, tilting his head back toward the window and, with the aid of the green light, Eloise saw that it was Ominis.
âWhat are you doing down here, Ominis? You almost gave me a heart attack! Youâre sitting in the shadows and I thought I was alone.â
âI could ask the same of you,â he said simply, the hint of an amused smirk gracing his features. âAnd, might I add, I didnât mean to scare you on purpose. I thought you were purposely walking towards me. For all I know, it could be the break of dawn and Iâm basking in the early rays of the sun.â
Eloiseâs jaw dropped open in mortification. She had completely forgotten that he was blind. âHow did you know that I was walking towards you?â She clapped her hands over her mouth in horror, the words leaving before she could stop them. What was wrong with her? With her sudden movement, her robes had fallen open again, revealing her nightgown, but she was too distraught over possibly having offended Ominis than continuing to follow the rules of propriety. âOh Merlinâs beard, Iâm sorry. I didnât meanâŚâ
He just huffed quietly. They hadnât spoken much at dinner, and Eloise was positive that he was angry with her. Maybe he had only acknowledged her presence because his best friend had seen fit to talk with her. Growing up blind, it would make sense for him to be sensitive to any comments regarding itâŚher face was flushed with mortification and guilt, and she slowly started backing away. Eloise figured it was better to just end the whole encounter being ruder still by making a hasty retreat, than to put her foot in her mouth once again and risk offending him more.
âNo, wait,â Ominis said as soon as he realized she was walking away. His voice was choked with emotion and it seemed difficult for him to get the words out. Eloise froze and looked at him. His whole body was shaking, and she couldnât tell if he was angry orâŚ
Was he laughing?
âI might be blind, but Iâm not deaf. In this silence, I would have been able to notice if anyone had entered the room even if they were trying to be sneaky, which you certainly were not. Stay, if you want.â
Eloise hesitated, then took the seat across from Ominis in the window. She nervously smoothed her nightgown over her legs. âJust so you know, youâre completely in shadow. If you hadnât said anything, I probably would have walked right past you without realizing that you were here too.â
âIâll choose a better spot to sit next time then, when I canât fall asleep in the middle of the night,â he replied seriously. If not for the fact that he had just been teasing her, she would have thought that he was really taking what she said into consideration. âYou never answered my original question. You canât sleep?â
Eloise shook her head, then quickly added, âno. So much has happened these last few daysâŚmy brain always has a hard time turning off. Especially after a day like today.â
Ominis hummed in understanding, tilting his head towards her. The green light filtering through the water danced over his gaunt features, making his cheekbones and the dark circles under his eyes more prominent. His pupil-less eyes glowed eerily in the light. âI can only imagine. You arrived late to the sorting, and your aura was very unnerving as you stepped into the Great Hall. I immediately knew something was extraordinary about you.â
âMyâŚaura?â
âYes. I might not be able to see, but my wand does it for me. Itâs hard to explain butâŚI can sense the people around me. I canât make out features, but everyone has their own unique aura radiating from them. Yours isâŚdifferent.â
Different? It must have something to do with the fact she hadnât had any magical ability until recently. Maybe it was stunted orâŚmaybe her aura was different due to the stress of the day.
âI saw someone murdered in front of me today,â Eloise blurted out before she could stop herself. Ominis didnât look surprised by her sudden outburst, he merely remained still as he waited for Eloise to continue. âIt wasâŚshocking. A dragon came out of nowhere and just ripped our carriage in half, taking Mr. Osric with it. The worst part isâŚIâm-Iâm shocked because it happened. But Iâm not sad. I donât feel the horror I think I should be feeling, and that is more horrifying to me. When I was lying in bed, the events of today kept replaying in my mind on a loop and I kept on trying to make myself feel the correct emotions. But I couldnât. Something inside of me is broken.â
Eloise looked down at her hands, fingers wringing and untwisting together in her lap. She tried to force herself to sit as still as Ominis, but it was impossible. She couldnât believe how easy it was to unload all of this onto a stranger, but he didnât seem to mind listening. There was silence for a few minutes, but it wasnât an uncomfortable one. Eloise peeked at Ominis from under her lashes. The boy appeared to be deep in thought.
âI couldnât sleep either,â he finally said. âItâs normal for me, though. I also have a hard time turning off my thoughts, especially at night. This little corner of the common room feels like mine, in a sense. Iâve been coming here to think since I was a first-year. Maybe I subconsciously chose this place because, if youâre right, itâs more hidden than the rest. Nobody will see me if theyâre sneaking around late at night, and itâs so peaceful.â
âThat I can agree with,â said Eloise. âI actually came down here to see what it was like when itâs empty. I donât quite know how to explain it, but this place already feels like home to me. A far sight better than the place I left behind. Places.â
âIf you want me to leave, Iâm fine with giving up my hiding place for a worthy cause.â
âNo,â Eloise said quickly. âIâŚI like having you here. With me. It means I donât have to be alone with my thoughts.â
Ominis smiled and tilted his head, not quite looking at her in that odd way of his. âItâs nice, talking to you. Most people avoid me. I canât imagine why.â
Eloise huffed in quiet laughter. They sat in silence for a while longer, until Ominis broke it again. âYou donât have to answer if you donât want to. ButâŚam I correct in guessing that you and Leo Babbit know each other?â
Eloiseâs breath hitched in her throat. She still wasnât sure how much of her past she wanted people to knowâŚbut she also knew that as soon as the day broke the castle would be swirling with rumors. And, as much as she hated the thought, the truth would come out one way or another. She had been lucky enough so farâŚher name hadnât been said at the sorting due to the unusual circumstances. But, come morning, everyone would put the pieces together once her name was called out by a teacher.
She could test the waters with someone like Ominis, who seemed like the sort of fellow who would take it in stride.
âIâŚlike I said, you donât have to tell me,â Ominis said softly.
âNo! No, itâs fine,â Eloise assured him. âItâsâŚcomplicated. I would prefer if it never came out butâŚif the school I was at before is any indication, everyone will know by lunch tomorrow regardless of if I say anything or not.â She took a deep breath, steadying herself. âMy full name is Eloise Babbit. Leo is my brother.â
Ominis showed no reaction. It gave her the strength to continue.
âI was rejected by my family. As the years went by and I still wasnât showing any signs of magic, I was ignored by my parents in favor of Leo. When my eleventh year came and went without any acceptance letter to Hogwarts, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was actually a squib. Up until then, I had held onto the hope and the day I lost that, I lost everything. I was banished and burned off of the family tree, like I never existed. Until a few days ago, I was learning how to become a perfect muggle wife at one of their horrid finishing schools. My family had already prepared a marriage for me to a prominent muggle family, reasoning that I could at least give them important connections.â She spat that last word out. Even speaking the words was a bitter reminder of the life she had almost led. âBased on Leoâs reaction, he definitely didnât know that I had been admitted to Hogwarts. I donât even know whatâs worse: if my parents knew and decided not to tell him, or if the fact that I was burned off the family tree means that they wouldnât have received a notification.â
She stared at her hands again. What was it about this boy that made her want to unload everything to him? Yes, he had asked her about it, but she still felt guilty for talking to him at all. Like somehow, telling him would make it his problem as well.
âIf thereâs anyone in this school who understands the horrors of oneâs family, itâs me,â he said. Eloise looked up at him in surprise. He chuckled quietly, as if he could see her expression. âMy family are direct descendants of Salazar Slytherin. Absolutely stark-raving mad, pureblood fanatics. Weâve gotten quite reclusive in the past hundred years or so, and donât have much contact with the outside world. Your familyâs inbreeding resulted in fear of giving birth to a potential squib. Mine, in the form of a useless, blind son who has no interest in continuing their crazy beliefs. I guess you could say we are two kindred souls. Maybe thatâs what your aura was trying to tell me earlier this evening.â
âI guess so,â Eloise replied. Both could tell that the other wasnât saying everything on their mind, but she wanted to give him the same comfort he had offered her and decided not to pry. âThank you, Ominis.â
He inclined his head towards her and then moved his unseeing gaze to the large stained glass window. They sat there for quite some time, at least it felt that way to Eloise. The passage of time seemed not to exist as she and Ominis sat there, deep inside their own thoughts. Formless shadows danced behind the window, their regular movements helping to calm her thoughts. After what seemed like an eternity, Eloise found herself stifling a yawn.
âIt seems your day has finally caught up with you,â Ominis said, smiling softly. âI think itâs best if we head to bed. Hogwarts might be more progressive than the muggle school youâve just escaped, but if anyone sees us here together it would just further the rumors already swirling around you.â
Eloise nodded her assent and stood up slowly. She hadnât realized how much time they had spent there until she felt the stiffness in her muscles that only comes from remaining still for a very long time. Ominis also got up slowly, gracefully stretching out his long body in the process. As he stood, she saw him grab his wand out of his pocket, and it began glowing a faint red as he walked. That must be how he gets around, she thought to herself. He did say his wind has a mind of its own.
She followed him and they slowly made their way to the two sets of stairs leading to the dormitories. They paused once they were about to part. âGoodnight, Ominis.â
âGoodnight, Eloise. Iâll see you tomorrow. Or rather, Iâll sense your presence later on this morning.â He gave her a faint smile and then turned to head down the stairs leading to his dormitory. Eloise stood there, watching until she couldnât see the red glow of his wand anymore. With a yawn, she turned towards her room and soon slipped under the covers, sleep finally coming. Before she fell asleep, she had only the fleeting realization that Ominis had not actually answered her question.
The title is a link to everything on ao3, but just in case you didnât catch that, here it isđŤś
next chapter
#let me know what you think about this chapterđĽšđŤś#I love the painting bc I hope it captures how Eloise was feelingâŚ.#she does NOT like being noticed#Iâm about to go to the beach#and I hope I can swimđ normally the sea where I live is pretty cold#but this summer is so warm that there are SO MANY JELLYFISH AND PORTUGUESE MAN O WARSđđŤđđŤđđŤ#yesterday there I was swimming around like a fool bc I just do laps across the beach back and forth#and less than an hour later all of these jellyfish were being washed up on the shoređł#like you couldnât even walk barely on the sandđłđł#I almost met my demiseâŚ..#in all honesty I suppose they would just sting and overall I might be fine#BUT THAT IS MY WORST FEARâŚâŚâŚ.#my city even created a special jellyfish flag to put up so that people know what theyâre getting themselves into when they swim#but they never put it up until people start being stungđđ#ok none of this was that interestingđđ but there you go#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfic#also this is probably the longest chapter#so hopefully itâs not too crazy and you actually read it���đđ
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đ¸ !!CHAPTER NINE POSTED!! đ¸
Title: Four Walls
Tags: slow burn, domesticity, friends to lovers, smut, pining post sias/pre am era
Summary: Disillusioned with LA and on the heels of a breakup, Alex goes to stay with Miles in London.
#so happy to finally share this with you all!#this chapter is another 15000 word monstrosity so hopefully that'll make up a little for the wait đ
#thank you to everyone for being so patient and supportive with this fic#i appreciate you all more than i can say đ#very much hope you enjoy this update!!#oh boy it was a JOURNEY to write#(but not as much as it was for alex to live đĽş)#as always feedback is so very appreciated đ#four walls#milex#milex fic#alex turner#miles kane#tlsp#the last shadow puppets#lulu posts
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Hello, I need to know how long do you plan TaS to be? Or maybe how many chapters will it be? Because I need to get mentally prepared for the end from now on otherwise I think I'll have a panic attack when one day you say we're at the end of the fic. đŹ Of course if you don't know or the plan is changing it's alright, just want to ask. đ
PLS this made me gigggleeee but we're gonna have to buckle up bc as of now it's looking like it's gonna be btwn 20â30 chapters LOL. i have no good guesses for word count since the chapter lengths seem to fluctuate between 8â25k atp but we're in for the long haul according to my outline doc (which is at 36k words in itself lmfaooo)
the plan def changes every so often but mostly just little things because i have the whole fic planned out from start to finish! so i can't give an exact chapter count since often i end up having to split chapter plans into two, but that's my best guesstimate atm, and i'll ofc post about it when we start getting closer to the end.
if it helps, i'm planning for the length of this fic to span from july 2005 to sometime in the summer of 2006 (excluding the epilogue), so when the dates at the start of chapters start creeping into june... you'll know we're nearing the end </33 i'm so Afraid LOL
#tough and sweet fic#johnslittlespoon asks#also living in fear every day when i wake up that i'll lose the fixation bc i have so much of this story to tell still lmao#so so much planned and i feel so much love and passion for this universe so i'm pouring every free minute i have into it <33#and hoping my brain is on my side and keeps chasing the happy chemicals from creating this story :'))#the fears of writing chaptered wips as a writer with adhd. it's true that motivation isn't good to lean on in writing#and that forming habits is what matters most. HOWEVER my brain will go where the dopamine is so i must manifest staying locked in as well
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Snowgrave Berdly my dear boy
#I have noelles and susies and krises to post but alas#edgy berdly#i also have a whole ballora picture i was working on but it wasnât working out#DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I REALLY LIKE BERDLY#OKAY#BUT LIKE#he is one of those guys who was insufferable but i could tell there was more there#and so i immediately was hoping for the best out of him#and he was very good in the normal route#lived up to my expectations perfectly well#but in snowgrave#ooooh in snowgrave#oh boy in snowgrave#i love berdly so much#anyway#deltarune#deltarune chapter 2#snowgrave#berdly#deltarune fanart#can i put Noelle in the tags it doesnât seem right#ah to heck with it#noelle holiday#the cage is made out of binary code itâs hard to tell from far away
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Get your hands dirty - Chapter 2
Percâahlia | M [for gore n whump] | Campaign 1 AU with choice bits snagged from TLOVM | Percy is the pact weapon + 'Shooting our your palm has fucking consequences' AU
[Chapter 2 finally here after @burr-ell bullied me. Hopefully the third and final chapter will follow soon-ish?]
âLord de Rolo?â and the words belong to a dream because that title belongs to Father and Father is dead, except Percy canât wake, canât wake up -
Stop. Breathe. Restart.
Dawn breaks late over the Alabaster Sierras: tall toothlike mountains take up so much of the sky, the sun must climb high to clear them. Itâs well past that first bite of morning, and so probably hours later than he would usually wake.Â
Knocking resumes at the door, more urgently, so Percival hopes his voice comes clear: âYes?â
âLord de Rolo,â and she has to be a servant that survived the purge, to put that much deference into the name, âyour sister and companions await you downstairs for breakfast.â The theyâre quite concerned, sir, is only implied. Which confirms Percivalâs hunch.Â
He reassures the maid he will be down shortly, but does not move. Instead, perhaps unwisely, he unpeels the white bandages from his left hand. Like if he removes all the gauze he will find the names where he always has.Â
Theyâre still bare. Percival breathes heavy relief until his eyes catch on brutal color in his palm.
Most of it, truthfully, is not his palm - but the pattern of the comforter beyond. Whatâs left - left - of the flesh so close to the wound is puckered and mottled with a rainbow of color. Heâs felt worse than the dull, tight pain. Which is better than the prickling drowning several fingers. (Thatâs why it hadnât hurt, when Vexâahlia took his hand last night.)
Well. It figures that if Pike could not heal the fingers he shot off the carriageboy, blasting a hole in his own fucking hand would be even trickier for Keyleth to repair. His head spins; nerves, tendons, muscles, a mess of tiny bones.Â
In a fit of grim whimsy, Percival holds his hand up to the sun, watching it peer through the gaping crater of his palm.
He tries to close his fist around it. Thumb, pinkie and ring finger make a valiant effort of the task.Â
The sun remains beyond his grasp.
[Read from begining] [Keep reading on AO3]
#critical role#vox machina#cr fanfic#percival de rolo#perc'ahlia#percahlia#pros: percy has friends who are here to help him through his pain & various stupid decisions. cons: he Keeps Making It Worse#whump writing#angst#that first chapter is one of my best things Ever and I hope this at least somewhat lives up to that
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i chose chaos today and dropped chapter 12 of im wanting it back (my amnesia trope binary boyfriends fanfic)
i hope all who read enjoy <3
#i kinda liked my math analogy so i put it here !#boy oh boy i don't even know what to say#like i'm excited for this chapter but it was a doozy to write#rly hope it lives up to everyone's expectations#love you all for reading gonna go cry about it actually#i'm so excited for it to be complete but also ILL MISS UPDATING SO MUCH#cobra kai#ck#binary boyfriends#hawkmetri#elimetri#hawk x demetri#demetri x eli#demetri alexopoulos#eli moskowitz#cobra kai fanfiction#cobra kai fanfic#i'm wanting it back#my writing
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WIP Wednesday (MLC longfic again!)
Now that my amnesia fic is posted, it's time for more of my MLC longfic! At long last, LLH is awake again . . . and not doing that well.
(You can find earlier excerpts here.)
CW/TW: Panic attack, bicha flare, suicidal ideation
Something was different. The pain was there as always, waiting to devour him whole once he acknowledged it, but there was something else, something blanketing it, muting it somehow.
Li Lianhua stretched out his senses like a limb and tried to make sense of it.
Ah. Warmth. That was the strange sensation. Warmthâheat, evenâall around himâhis back, his chest, his legs, even his fingers, which had been more like blocks of ice than flesh and blood these last few months.
He leaned back, pushing into the banked heat behind him. The solid core of warmth tucked against his front from navel to neck twitched, then pressed against him more securely, as though it could make a home for itself inside his sternum, ribs, and spine and heat him from within.
He felt warm everywhere.
Well, almost everywhere.
He rolled forward slightly, wiggled further down on the bed, and tugged the core of warmth up higher. He curled his arms and shoulders around it and nestled the bit in his hand between his face and the pillow until it cradled his cheek.Â
Much better.
He smiled into his new, warmer pillow and let himself start to relax back into sleep.
âXiangyi?â
The warmth against his face gradually took shape as his skin and mind began to wake. That was a fingerâno, several fingers. A hand. A large hand. And those callusesâhow could he not know them when they had clashed steel with him, choked him, clinked brimming cups of wedding wine with him, even been inside him, taking him apart with a gentleness he hadnât known they could profess.
He let his awareness spread throughout his body, setting aside the pain, and yes, that was a-Feiâs chest he had pressed himself against, like Huli Jing requesting head scritches, and those were a-Feiâs legs, tangled with his, and that was a-Feiâs breath rustling his hairâless now than it had been a moment agoâand that was indeed a-Feiâs arm he was clutching like a child would a favorite toy.Â
But a-Fei had been holding him first.
Why was a-Fei holding him? It was one thing to wake up in each othersâ arms in the newly wed room, after their�� . . . exertions. Before a-Fei knew that any real dream of a future was doomed to fail.
But to hold him now? After heâd given away the wangchuan flower and left a-Fei behind, left their promise behind? To hold him like he still mattered. Like he wasnât a curse who killed everyone heâd ever cared about. Like he was some sort of treasure . . .
Treasure . . .Â
Cabinets stained in blood, Xiaobaoâs bloodâ
âXiaobao,â he gasped, flinging himself free and to his feet. Where was Xiaobao? He had to find him, had to heal him, before it was too lateâ
âXiangyi! Sit down!â A-Fei caught him as his legs buckled and lowered him back onto the bed.Â
Why wasnât Xiaobao here? Had he killed him, too, just like he killed everyone he cared about?Â
âDuobing,â a-Fei roared. âGet in here. Now!â Callused fingers cupped both sides of his face, turning it gently but firmly toward him. âXiangyi, look at me. Heâs alright. Heâs on his way.âÂ
âHow could he be alright?â Li Lianhua gasped, clutching at his shoulders, the already blurry world turning more hazy. âI saw the blood!â
âI healed him. Heâs safe,â a-Fei said, cradling his head as though he could hold the shattering pieces of his mind together. âNow breathe.âÂ
Li Lianhua choked on an inhale, his lungs spasming, only managing to draw in a desperate wheeze.
A-Fei cursed and dropped to his knees by the bed, pressing one hand to Li Lianhuaâs back and the other to his chest, filling both with a familiar warmth that began to break apart the iron bands strangling his throat and lungs. âTry again. Feel my hands. Press against them when you inhale.â
The next breath shook and spluttered like a dying candle but some air squeaked through nonetheless.
âGood.â A-Fei gave his back a short supportive pat. âAgain.â
Lotus Tower shook as footsteps pounded toward the bed. âWhatâs wrong?â panted a beautifully familiar, impossible voice. âXiaohuaâer?â
âBicha,â a-Fei growled, rising from the floor to kneel on the bed at his side, his hands still bracketing him on either side. âHe thinks youâre dead. Show him the scab.â
âShit,â the Xiaobao-shaped hallucination cursed. It seemed especially cruel of hallucinations to now match the blurriness of their surroundings. It made them seem far too real.
The hallucination knelt at his feet and took his hands. âItâs me, Xiaohuaâer,â it said, tears in its eyes and voice. âIâm alright. A-Fei healed me. See?â It brought his hand up to a spot on the back of his skull and pressed his fingers to a crusted, raised line on its scalp. âIâm right here and Iâm alright. Do you believe me?â
He could feel it. Why could he feel it? His fingers had always passed through hallucinations before. And even when heâd dreamt of Xiaobao, or of a-Fei, of holding them again, it hadnât felt as real as this. His fingers traced the ridges of the scabâa perfectly neat seamâthen the silk curtain of hair that covered it.Â
This was Xiaobaoâs hair. The texture, the thickness, what he could see of the colorâno hallucination could do justice to this.Â
This was his Xiaobao.
He was alive.
âXiaobao,â he cried, turning his head this way and that to make sure it was the only injury. âYouâre alright!â
Xiaobaoâs bright smile shone through despite the haze his eyes imposed on everything. âTold you. No harm done. So focus on taking care of yourself, ok, lao huli?â
Li Lianhua huffed out a wet attempt at a scoff and bopped the side of his head. âNo harm? What do you call this?â
Xiaobao captured his hands with his and brought them down from his head to rest between them. âLess serious than a Bicha attack. How are you feeling?â
Li Lianhua blinked. A Bicha attack? He turned his attention inward to his qi, andâ
Ah. There was a-Feiâs Beifeng Baiyang, somehow wrapped around his Yangzhouman and pushing the last of the poison back into the recesses where it would lie in wait, coiled and ready for the next attack. The black tinge was almost gone from his veins.
He had been so worried about Xiaobao that he hadnât even realized.
A-Fei had probably saved his life. Again.Â
He shouldnât have bothered.
#mysterious lotus casebook#lhl#WIP Wednesday#lianhua lou#my fic#Di Feisheng#Li Lianhua#Fang Duobing#Difanghua#Things will get much better for LLH#starting in the next chapter#If tumblr blocks this excerpt from the MLC tag bc of my tws like it's done on previous weeks I will be so mad#I literally just finished writing this 5 minutes ago#this is the shortest turnaround time ever btwn when I've written something and posted it#cue internal screaming#also I am trying a new narcolepsy med which means thinking feels weird and consequently writing is a massive struggle#so I really hope this lives up to expectation
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do I know what this novel is actually about yet? No.
do I know that one of the leads was once described as 'the blade of the empire', is now seen as a traitor, and made her first appearances by, in order: (1) flogging the other lead with a whip made of bones (her own??? unclear!), and then (2) imprisoned and tortured beyond normal human endurance, unable to stand or do anything but affirm the other lead's memory of her pain tolernace, before (3) pulling someone else's hidden dagger out as a first recourse for dealing with a member of the imperial family? Yes.
#weaponisation and whump! sign me the fuck up#truly hope this lives up to the level of unhinged the first few chapters (and intro/summary) promise#yes i have like 18239 other things I'm supposed to be reading#but this one's just starting its serialisation so it's just one chapter per day don't look at me#çć
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Did you know that you have rights? The constitution says you do and so do I
#they truly mean it when they say love is blind huh#SHO I KNOW LEO IS HOT AND SHIT AND SORT OF FUNNY SOMETIMES BUT HE IS ALSO KIND OF AN ASS ASKSJA WAKE UP BESTIE !!#when I catch you leo when I catch you#all this to say I secretly know he cares a lot about sho and all the others or I hope so because I donât want to think he is just a dick for#the sake of being a dick#itâs called dellusionville and I live there I welcome yall here#leo you have until the end of this chapter to do one good thing for pookie sho and Iâll forgive you l#my hc going while right now you guys I have so many thoughts I will make a post essay about this game itâs sort of becoming my entire#personality I fear#sho#leo#tokyo debunker
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Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Blitzwing/Bumblebee (Transformers) Characters: Blitzwing (Transformers), Bumblebee (Transformers), Optimus Prime, Ratchet (Transformers), Prowl (Transformers), Bulkhead (Transformers), Lugnut (Transformers), Megatron (Transformers) Additional Tags: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Angst, Drama, blitzwing has trust issues, and bumblebee has adhd with a little rsd sprinkled in, okay a LOT of rsd, also apd and executive dysfunction, heâs got a lot going on for him, Infrequent Updates, Suicidal Thoughts, did i mention blitzwing has bpd because he has bpd Summary:
Bumblebee feels like the weak link in his team and Blitzwing finds that and his lack of self confidence annoying.
#new chapter !! merry chrimmis#blitzbee#fanfic#vulnerability fic#i hope the quality lives up to the fic. i feel like theres a bit of a trade-off with writing in my journal as opposed to slowly typing it
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It's finally here!
Chapter 24: Baby (Blue) Steps is live!
WOOOOOOOOO
In which we finally get to see Splinter's side of things. Pride, pain, and Papa, this chapter has it all!
#this one took FOREVER and i am so very sorry#i hope this nearly 12k chapter lives up to your expectations#hohohooo this one has some scenes that I've been planning from the beginning#very excited#rottmnt#cookie crumbs#my writing#fanficion#my fanfic#fanfic update#rottmnt fanfic swsa#rottmnt swsa#swsa#rottmnt fanfic
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Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon), Hazbin Hotel (Web Series) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Alastor/Lucifer Magne | Morningstar Characters: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Lucifer Magne | Morningstar, Charlie Magne | Morningstar, Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Husk (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Niffty (Hazbin Hotel) Additional Tags: Background Charlie Morningstar/Vaggie, hints of Angel Dust/Husk, Blood Drinking, mentions of gore, Alastor is a serial killer, Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Touch-Averse Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Non Sex-Repulsed Asexual Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Alastor has no clue he's ace, Inspired by Twitter, there's a tag I never thought I'd use, occasional appearance of deer!Lucifer, Alastor has a (literal) taste for Venison, Depressed Lucifer Magne | Morningstar
#radioapple#alastor#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel#deer lucifer fic#chapter two is live for everyone who prefers ao3#i hope to have part 10 up on tumblr later today
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dont apologize for going insane im putting my rambles out there to also find insane people đ¤đ¤đ¤ but yeah i haven't played rebirth yet but seeing people complain on the basis of "it's not og" is ALWAYS crazy to me because it's SUPER clear, in both an in-universe and out-of-universe sense that it's like. Explicitly not OG. It's so explicitly about breaking the chains of og and that's super super interesting. remakeverse is like it's own beast and its very cool and it's also making me lose my mind because the "what if"'s are so beautiful but also [breaking down about the original timeline] THERE WAS SO MUCH LOVE THERE TOO AND IT DIDN'T CHANGE ANYTHING!!!! HEAD IN HANDS. anyway thats to say i agree with all of your thoughts thank u for the insane food
EXACTLYYYYY AAUUUGHHHH the mind-screw of it all..... the implications........
#og timeline doomed from the start.......#was the og aerith's prayer heard? did she pray for a second chance?#she wasn't expecting to die. unlike rebirth aerith who could definitely see it coming.......#maybe it was something else. maybe it was AC sephiroth who wanted a do-over. or maybe it was something higher. beyond our comprehension.#ON THAT NOTE allow me to go on a quick tangent#i can't stand players who are like 'lol u guys got ur hopes up!! aerith dies just like she did in the og all this multiverse shit is stupid!#when i think the way the scene is framed makes it EXCEEDINGLY CLEAR THAT SHE LIVES IN ONE TIMELINE.#heavenly rainbow light = new timeline. âTHE ENTIRE FINAL CHAPTER is dedicated to hammering the association into your head.#plus the whole point of zack's scenes is to clearly establish a relationship between new timelines and characters unexpectedly surviving.#i know sometimes the curtain is just blue so to speak. but the symbolism here is so blatantly obvious it pisses me off when it gets ignored#aerith unmistakeably lives in at least one timeline. cloud knows it for certain. what that means for part 3 will be fascinating.#OK i got that out of my system lol anyway!!!! let's be insane together đ¸â¨#ffvii#ffvii rebirth#asks
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a tiny little zine inspired by @koddletâs how-to! (i love your zines, theyâre so fun and inspiring!) i first just folded it out of a sticky note for fun and put it in my pocket thinking âiâll fill this in later when i have an ideaâ and then i looked outside and it was so. fucken dark. and here we are :) i really loved treating it as an exercise in âdraw whatever comes to mind, let it be as shitty as possible, just try somethingâ â drawing isnât something i think of as my strong suit but little doodles sure are fun!
#looking at this again as i add the IDs i think i made the darkness angled the wrong way lol#whatever#this was so fun and freeing!!!#if it was larger i probably would have added another scene and some more commentary to explain the sunset sceneâ#i get really picturesque sunsets where i live and itâs tempting to take them for granted but i donât want to#so whenever someone comments on it i make a point of fully getting up and looking and just Appreciating it for a minute#every time#even when iâm kind of annoyed that itâs already getting dark when i need the daylight to motivate me to Do Stuff lmao#(how to make this story more stressful: imagine the book on page 3 is a required reading book and i have to read 8 chapters by the next day#but overall itâs just a snippet of my winter nighttime mood :)#penguinâs ponderings#i hope thatâs my tag for og posts. i forget tbh
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