#i hope they have a good office culture and benefits

[roseandpeaches]

food poisoning is not fun. i'd rather get a migraine. wait no i don't wanna jinx it.

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Same Team! A YJH Office Romance Pt. 1

Idol!Jeonghan x ProductionStaff!Reader

You’re serious about your job, but not as serious as Yoon Jeonghan is about flirting.

Part 1: ~2k words, Part 2

Series Content: slooowwwwww burn, fluff!, cute flirting!, will-they-won���t-they vibes!, tension!!, office crushes, office romance, appearances by all of the members, reader is shy and gets flustered easily!, jeonghan is jeonghan-ing!

My Masterlist

Author’s Note: This is just Part 1! Not sure how long this series is going to be, but I promise there will be smut eventually lol! I just got into the head of this MC and wanted to create a tense, flirty coworker dynamic with Yoon Jeonghan, the prettiest man alive! Also, I should mention that the representation of Koreans in this chapter is completely fictional and in now way representative of how actual Korean people feel about foreign coworkers! It’s a little K-Drama “ice queen” trope, sorry! I hope you enjoy! 😊

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If you had known there was going to be so much paperwork involved, you would have just printed and signed everything ahead of time. But they had mentioned that the in-person onboarding was required.

“Sign here,” the onboarding representative pointed to various lines for your signature.

Payment, discretion, benefits... the contract was airtight.

That’s the K-Pop industry for you, you thought as you diligently scanned through each line. You could feel the other new hires at the onboarding getting restless.

“Sorry,” you said to the room, “I’m kind of slow at reading Korean.” You could practically smell the mixture of surprise and annoyance coming from the others seated around the long conference table. If you were being honest, you knew that your Korean was pretty good. (Not that you’d ever admit it out loud!)

“Wow, you speak pretty well,” the onboarding representative said.

“Thank you,” you smiled politely.

“Is she pretty, too?” you heard the woman seated across from you mutter to the woman on her right, eliciting a soft giggle. You caught her eye for a moment, smiling, but she looked away quickly.

You had to remember that small gestures you considered normal in the States might come off as rude or overly familiar. You focused again on the contract in front of you, trying not to mind whether you were the last one to finish signing.

“Once everyone is done signing everything, we’ll take you on a tour of the building, and we’ll end the day by swinging by the practice room and meeting the members.” The onboarding representative clapped his hands cheerfully, and everyone stood, bowing and shaking each other’s hands as they left the room. You were selected to go with the second tour group, with the two women seated across from you and another young man. You were all new “executive production staff” and would be sharing a four-desk cubicle.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N,” you said, bowing politely to your new colleagues. They greeted you politely, if a little stiffly. The two women seemed to know each other already and were sticking together. The young guy was typing rapidly into a messaging app on his phone.

“Um,” one of the women said in a timid voice, directed at you.

“...Yes?” you asked as politely and as gently as possible.

“Where are you from?” The other woman asked more boldly. You noted that she didn’t use polite speech.

“I grew up in <hometown>, in the U.S.,” you answered politely, deciding to ignore this woman’s attitude.

“What are you doing here? Don’t they have plenty of production jobs in the States?” she asked in English.

Ah, she’s gonna be a tough nut to crack. You anticipated some culture-clashing and were prepared to answer any questions or handle any tension that might arise. You wanted to be prepared, so you had done your best to study the culture before moving, talking to friends whose parents were from Korea and reading books about Korean history and social norms. And by watching (probably too many) TikToks. But, you had focused most of your energy on learning the language.

But the fact still remained: you were the outsider here.

“Fluent English speakers are in high demand, after all,” you tried to answer as smoothly as you could in English.

“Jiyeon-shi,” the woman’s friend gently hit her arm, her tone both amused and chiding. The woman, “Jiyeon,” just stared at you, her expression smug.

“Well, don’t expect to turn Korean just because you got a job here and use our skincare routine,” she said, her words laced with venom. Ah, she’s speaking Korean again, you noted.

“I would never presume such a thing. I look forward to working with you,” you bowed deeply. Kwon Jiyeon scoffed just before the four of you were guided toward the office floor.

“This is where you’ll be working,” the tour guide, a young woman wearing a face mask and glasses, gestured to a partitioned-off space in a sea of similar cubicles. “You’ll likely not spend much time at your desk, but please make yourselves comfortable.” She directed you and the others to the staff kitchen, the lounge, the row of conference rooms that needed to be booked at least two days in advance, the company cafeteria, the courtyard on the roof, the editing bays, and finally, you were at the practice rooms.

“This is where various groups and their performance coaches and choreographers can be found,” the tour guide said. You could feel the bass of a song pulsating through the walls and could see tight groups of dancers practicing in the mirror through the small windows in the doors to the spacious, sprung-floored rooms.

You were assigned to exclusively work with the group SEVENTEEN, probably the number one K-Pop group in the world at the moment. You felt unbelievably lucky to have gotten the gig. You were fully expecting to work with idols who hadn’t even debuted yet, but the interviewer was so impressed with your experience in the American music industry—and the way you picked up the language quickly—that he felt it would be a waste of your talent to send you to a group that could disband in a couple of years.

“Okay, it looks like they’re about to take a break,” the tour guide said before facing the four of you. “Listen, the members are very polite and kind, but please respect their privacy and their position at all times. This is meant to be a formal meeting, so please remember to be professional.”

Interesting warning, you thought. You figured there had probably been incidents with staff in the past. You could imagine. There was a lot asked of the idols in this industry. Not to mention they were all gorgeous. You hoped they wouldn’t be uncomfortable working with you. Jiyeon and her friend (“Daein” you learned) were visibly flustered. You averted your eyes, trying to focus on your breathing. I can’t get nervous, you thought, these are going to be my colleagues.

The tour guide opened the door, and the four of you filed into the studio. The atmosphere was rowdier than you expected, and more crowded.

So many people around just for a dance rehearsal? Or is it just open studio time?

There were a group of girls, one in a folding chair, the others sitting or stretching on the floor nearby, facing away from the mirrors. A group of guys on the far end of the studio, some of them even snacking, some of them talking to each other or into a camera, held by some other young person wearing a face mask. All the while, music was playing at the far end of the studio, and there they were.

Well, some of them.

You felt your stomach flip.

Well, you couldn’t imagine not reacting to them, right? They were famous. And... you didn’t know how to describe it. Standing there, next to this wary Jiyeon and her follower, Daein, and the other young guy on your tour whose name you already forgot... and the nice tour guide, and the staff in the corner she was talking to...

Somehow they all just disappeared, and you were watching the group of men in the middle of the hard studio floor, dancing in perfect sync to the music.

So this is what it’s like to be in the presence of real celebrities, was all you could think.

Your heart was pounding like crazy. You could tell that your face was probably beet red. You tried to breath.

They’re ...boys, really—you told yourself. You’d learned that age was important in Korea. You’d also learned that you were a year older than the group’s oldest member.

Seungcheol, you remembered. That was his name.

... A pretty name.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of their dancing, until suddenly the music died down.

“What, what!”

“Hey!”

“Why are we stopping?”

A flurry of protests came from these men (—boys), and the tour guide clapped her hands together.

“We apologize for the interruption,” she bowed to the group, now paying attention to her—and facing in the direction of where you’d entered the studio, facing the four of you.

“We’d like to take just a quick moment to introduce you to these four new executive production staff that will be working with you from today. They are the sharpest and most creative candidates, and some are even coming from overseas. Please let me introduce...” she gestured to each of us, gave us a moment to bow, and tell these ... men ... that we looked forward to working hard together.

You realized there were only eight of them standing there in front of you. It didn’t feel real. ...Aren’t there thirteen of them? you wondered.

And then, as if summoned, three more of them appeared from the other side of the long room—the boys who you’d seen talking into a camera. You involuntarily caught eyes with one of them, briefly. He bowed slightly, his kind eyes crinkling.

Cute... you thought involuntarily, quickly averting your eyes and bowing slightly.

You recognized him. “Joshua.” His Korean name was “Hong Jisoo.” You wondered what to call him... You’d both lived in America, right? “Joshua” was fine, right?

“And this is Y/N, coming to us from the United States,” the tour guide said. You snapped out of it, turning to the members and bowing quickly, unable to look at them directly to see their reactions.

“It’s nice to meet all of you!”

Fuck, I sound so nervous. What the hell...

“Nice to meet you!”

“Thank you for being here!”

“Whoa, you’re American!”

“Do you speak Korean?”

“Really? Wow!”

“Wait, you know Korean?”

“We go to America all the time.”

Again, a flurry of words flew from the crowd of boys. You don’t really realize until you’re in front of this many people, but 13 is a lot... you continued to stare nowhere in particular, just avoiding their faces. But even judging by their feet, there were still only 11 of them.

As Jiyeon and the young man—who had finally put his phone away—bowed shyly and exchanged some words with a couple of the members... from what you could tell... That one must be “Hoshi”... a surprisingly average-height man with bleached blonde hair and a baggy hoodie on, speaking politely with Jiyeon, who was covering half of her face with her hand.

“Nice to meet you.” A velvety voice came from right next to you, and you jumped a little in spite of yourself before turning to face the most angelic looking man you’d ever seen in your life—grinning softly and staring right at you. You managed just a fraction of a second of eye contact before averting your gaze, positive that your face was flushed and Yoon Jeonghan could absolutely tell.

“Nice to meet you.” You bowed, suddenly conscious of every tiny gesture you were making, wondering if you shouldn’t have worn your hair down—if a ponytail or a bun would have looked more polished, or maybe you chose the wrong outfit, the wrong shoes...

“Thank you for your work,” another voice came from next to Jeonghan, and you turned and bowed. It was Seungcheol, the leader. He looked spectacular up close. They all did. It was like they weren’t even real. You couldn’t believe that real people could look so stunning, just casually.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol joined the other members, and everyone exchanged greetings before gradually returning to practice.

You couldn’t help but look at him again. He was so beautiful. You’d never seen someone like him before. Your heart was hammering in your chest. You didn’t even care how red your face probably was. How he had such a beautiful face, and a slight build... but he looked so strong at the same time. You glanced in his direction before the tour guide rounded you up again to leave for the day. 

But he was already looking right at you.

It was too unbelievable for you to look away...

“Welcome,” he mouthed at you, smiling as you were led out of the room—completely speechless.

Your eyes stayed locked until you were out of sight.

[qqueenofhades]

Hoping you can explain this because you’re smart but why in the world are the same people who scream about a labor shortage worried about the border and immigration? Isn’t more people coming to our country a good thing if we train them properly to fill vacant positions (a lot of which are service jobs anyway)?

Alas, you are forgetting what is quite possibly the chief shibboleth of Western white supremacy/far-right nationalism: that all people from other countries, especially *gasp* the brown ones, are invaders, murderers, job-stealers, polluters of the (white) body politic, etc, and that under no circumstances should they be invited or allowed to stay. This isn't just an American thing; witness the Tories in the UK salivating over the idea of torturing migrants, trying to shut down any legal migration routes even with the employment black hole caused by Brexit, steadfastly denying that their workforce problems have anything to do with Brexit, steadfastly denying that they need to loosen immigration rules, etc. This is also the case with the European right/far right, the Australian far right, and anywhere else in the world that has historically been built on systems of white colonization, white supremacy, and other racial and legal scaffolds of privilege and exclusion. The white people who come to a country and settle it are bringing "civilization" and therefore should be welcomed and encouraged, but the non-white people who already lived there are "savages" and need to be exterminated for the good of the "master race." If they try to come back to the (white) nation state after their homelands were colonized, moreover, they are "invaders" who just want to "soak up the money of hard-working citizens" and etc etc.

The core fascist hatred of immigrants is also why Trump is directly echoing Hitler's anti-immigrant rhetoric with his "poisoning the blood of America" screeds, his promise to round up and deport migrants en masse, and otherwise be as massive of a dick as possible. The fact that there's no economic benefit and indeed a lot of economic pain is entirely beside the point. Trump and his deranged followers like the cruelty and the idea of torturing brown people for daring to come to "their" (white) America, and think that if they can be outrageously monstrous enough, this will finally deter all the other ones from coming. It won't, and no globalized economy will run without immigrants, but again, this isn't the point. Reality or pragmatic calculations have nothing to do with it. It's only about what can cause the maximum amount of cruelty and chaos to everyone who doesn't wholeheartedly worship and fit the (white) fascist model. That's why the Republicans yelled about wanting a border bill before they'd fund Ukraine; the Democrats obligingly gave them one with some of the toughest restrictions in years, and the Republicans yelled and threw it away because Dear Leader Trump told them to trash it. In some sense this is a good thing, because it meant that Ukraine got funded without being beholden to performative partisan cruelty at the border, but it also shows that they don't actually care about any of this. They have bluntly stated in so many words that they want a manufactured crisis at the border so Trump will have it as a campaign issue. Then he can take office and implement all his terrible concentration camps and all the other genocidal fascist bullshit of Project 2025 (bUt bIdEn iZ thE wOrsE oPtiOn!!!!!)

So: yeah. There's no point looking for any actual consistency or logic in the modern far right, because that is so far from the actual aim. No matter if migrants are essential, no matter if Americans literally won't take many of the jobs they do, etc. I live in a big city that has had a ton of migrants coming here and have read many, many news articles about how all they want to do is get a work permit, make their own money, learn English, and integrate into American culture; they are often far more positive about the prospects of America than actual Americans. But because the entire project of a (white) fascist ethnostate as advocated by Trump and co. in America, the Tories/Reform in the UK, and the far-right European parties, Russia, and other places (this is all connected worldwide -- again, it's not limited to one country or region), rests on demonizing (brown) immigrants as subhuman scroungers who come to rape, murder, steal jobs, and otherwise threaten (white) law-abiding citizens, that will always win out above every single other consideration.

[sreegs]

do you think the 2019 tumblr acquisition was made on a more optimistic note? In terms of how they thought the site could have been made profitable or at least self-sustaining.

yeah it felt good at the time because tumblr was owned by Verizon. switching hands to a company that was at least aligned with what tumblr does (blogging) and a private company made it feel like Tumblr had a chance to refocus and reprioritize, but Automattic was not a good fit for Tumblr culture

because tumblr was mostly nyc based and had things like, observed public holidays, and an office (this was pre-pandemic). there was this transitional period where tumblr was treated with some exceptions while they adjusted to the Automattic way of things. this strengthened the divide as seasoned Automattic employees saw us as getting special treatment like sub-competitive wages (as compared to absolutely not competitive wages) and a day off during national holidays.

this transitional policy was loosely documented and adhered to, and was unceremoniously ended by a decree from the top that Tumblr no longer has holidays off. i'm not going to say which national holiday triggered this change of heart but, lol, it's a doozy

additionally there were only a handful of automattic people who understood what tumblr was, and much less who understood the vibe of Tumblr's userbase. i know there were at least a few people who thought Tumblr was an analog of wordpress and didnt even know the dashboard existed

Tumblr employees started leaving en masse because their benefits and compensation were cut. Mullenwig's seagull style of management and the general disconnect between Automattic and Tumblr culture accelerated the exodus. I remember reading on Automattic's anonymous employee-only message board (yeah.) employees expressing their happiness that the "lazy overpaid Verizon acqui-hires" (the Tumblr staff, who had lower salaries than other tech companies and never identified as Verizon or Yahoo or anything except Tumblr) were being shed like dead weight and soon it will be Automattic in charge of everything

Also, side note: Automattic is weirdly anti-profanity as an unofficial workplace policy ordained from the CEO. How's that gonna fit with Tumblr?

So the initial feelings of freedom from Verizon and opportunity to work on things that might turn Tumblr around were dampened under the wet blanket of pay cuts, benefit cuts, cuts to time off (Automattic has "unlimited" vacation, lol), bad management, and an unwelcoming attitude from naysayers

The remaining old pre-2019 staff are very, very few in number. It's mostly Automattic's show now, and you can see how that's working out for them. i was once hopeful it would work out for Tumblr but that hope has long waned. it would not surprise me if the biggest advances toward profitability have been due to employees leaving Tumblr and not being replaced

[alpaca-clouds]

Neurodiversity from an Evolutionary Perspective

I spoke yesterday about how neurodiversity is a bit of Schrödinger's Disability today. We neurodiverse people get all the backlash of being diabled, and all the discrimination, but we rarely get disability benefits of any sort.

But today I want to talk about something else: Evolutionarily speaking most neurodiverse people are not disabled. Our disability stems entirely from the fact that we just do not function in a 9-5 capitalist hellscape.

Just look at it from the perspective that our species actually evolved to gather and hunt - and maybe also cultivate some stuff. (Given how long ago we did that, you could argue that this also shows in our genes.)

See, by now a lot of specialists think, that both autism and ADHD are very underdiagnosed, because even within the field a lot of people are looking for a certain, stereotypic way for the neurodiversity to show. With modern diagnostic criteria there is a good chance that about 5% of all people have ADHD and/or autism. Which is... a lot.

But the thing is that it actually makes a lot of sense. Because evolutionarily it would totally have been an advantage.

Let me talk about something we did at university yesterday. We got a lot of random shapes on a picture and we were supposed to find the T and the X between these shapes. Something I could do within less than a second, while three of my fellow students were unable to find the T (which was rotated) at all. Because my brain processes visual information completely differently.

And this... is evolutionarily an advantage, right? Just imagine being a hunter-gatherer and going through the forest or the savanna. And now you have someone among you, who is able to see a prey animal instantly, because of how they process visual information. Or who realizes them being stalked by a predator. Or them finding fruits and other things.

Neurodiverse people are also very capable of having a very different approach to problem solving. Which again would have a small tribe easier survive. Doubly so with the hyperfocus that neurodiverse people can have. Which totally is an evolutionary advantage for a group to have. Who knows. Maybe the first person to make fire was a neurodiverse person hyperfocusing on this task.

Also, there is the very common believe that people with ADHD specifically were probably very well adapt at hunting for several reasons.

So, yeah. This is so very common, because evolutionarily it was an advantage. From an evolutionary perspective it makes sense that it is so very common.

You have to remember: Modern Homo Sapiens as a species is around 160 000 years old. We settled down sometime between 10 000 and 15 000 years ago. So, just from an evolutionary perspective us having settled down is a very, very new thing. And not to mention, that the modern working culture has been around for not even quite 100 years. Office jobs have been a thing for even less.

And I can tell you: If you leave me out and about outside. I am good. Like, give me some nature observatory duty or something, putting up trail cams, what not. I am good. I can work for 12 hours straight (because hyperfocus). But sit me in the office for just 6 hours, and you will have me crawling up the walls, because that is just not what my brain does.

Ideally I am gonna need a job, that involves a lot of research and going outside. Which is why I hope to either go into Digital Humanities or the Environmental Geoinformatics. Because that is stuff I work well with.

If you gotta put me in an office job, you might as well shoot me right. Because my brain just doed not work like that.

[wastemanjohnmain]

welcome to the UK, where world leading healthcare is free at the point of use! hopefully you don't need it though. underfunding and shitty management of the public health sector by non clinicians mean you could wait up to six months for an urgent referral. hope all your organs are in good working order because you could die waiting if they're not :) and god forbid you should need to see a GP or a practice nurse for something more minor - the demand highly outweighs the supply and you'll be engaging in the hunger games to maybe get a 10 minute telephone appointment in September 2026 :) mental health suffering? well you are shit out of luck my friend - again, demand far outweighs supply - everything has been cut down to less than the absolute bare minimum - and the criteria for services is sky high now. make a cup of tea and take the crisis line number. you'll be fine right?

welcome to the UK, one of the richest economies in the world! how is it then that living standards are as low as they were in the 1970s, what with the old cossie lives and wages that were already laughably meagre now completely out of sync with how fucking expensive everything is?? i know you worked hard to get your education and onto your graduate scheme and did everything society asked of you to make it in life, but things are different now so here's your mouldy room in a shared house where the rent is a million pounds a month and lol what disposable income aren't you just happy to have a roof of your head?? stop going to Costa every morning for your soy triple shot vanilla latte you entitled little shit! it's not like we've had 14 years of complete mismanagement of the economy or anything! ps. aren't you so tired of hearing that it's all your fault?

welcome to the UK, where we have a welfare system designed to help people.in need, I.e. those out of work and those too sick to work! but good luck accessing that too. and if you want to try - LMFAO! oh honey no one LIKES working. but all this pretending to be too unwell to work ain't fooling anyone! come on mate drop that defeatist attitude and get on indeed.com. none of your conditions are even real. stop using your multiple sclerosis/depression/long covid/terminal cancer as an excuse. fucking sickness culture in this country. the high rates of mental illness especially have no obvious cause at all do they?

welcome to the UK, a tiny country that prides itself on tolerance and has historically seen great benefits to the economy and culturally from immigration! but god forbid we make this an easy place to live for trans people! this Woke has gone too far! and oh my GOD aren't all these refugees SO annoying?! they clearly just want to come here for the free healthcare (you know that non existent thing) and to get welfare benefits (you know asylum seekers aren't entitled to benefits apart from a pittance allowance from the home office right?) and they're absolutely not braving a life threatening journey to escape horrific conditions and persecution in their own country. but whatever. not our problem. off to Rwanda with you. human rights are stupid lmao. empathy? compassion? never heard of her.

welcome to the UK, where we support genocide and saying certain things in opposition of it is actually fucking illegal. i wish i was kidding.

welcome to the UK, where nothing works and everyone is sad.

welcome to the UK. god i fucking hate it here.

british tumblr - even if you don't think it will make a difference, even if you recognise there is just a lesser of two evils here, even if you don't trust any of them, even if you're fucked off and burnt out, i am BEGGING you to vote to get these absolute cretins out of power. we cannot have another five years under tory rule. there will be nothing left.

[silvermoon424]

hi katy! felt like sharing this, but after some months of job searching and not going anywhere, i finally have a place interested in interviewing me! it’ll be a hybrid job, with one day going to the office and five days WFH. i really wanna try and do well on this, do you, or any of the rest of your followers, have any interview tips to help prepare?

Thanks for all you do, you’re a wonderful person! And I hope you have a happy halloween! :^)

I'm so happy for you!! That sounds awesome and I really hope you get the job!

Anyway, I definitely recommend prepping for the interview instead of just winging it. I know that sounds obvious, but you'd be amazed at how much less stressful an interview is if you've prepared for it beforehand. Obviously you're not gonna know what questions they'll ask ahead of time, but when I was interviewing I looked up different articles about the most common interview questions and tried to prepare answers for them.

Also, when they ask you "tell me about yourself," don't talk about your love of anime or your knitting hobby. You want to give like a 3 sentence overview of your work experience and skills, especially how it relates to the job you're interviewing for.

You also want to make sure you thoroughly research the company and job description beforehand. They're very likely gonna ask why you want this position, and "I need the money" or "you have great benefits" isn't the answer they want to hear. For example, for my most recent job interview for the job I landed, I said that I was very interested in the position because it allows me to expand my knowledge of accounting and because the company I now work for is a not-for-profit doing important work.

If you can't think of anything flattering to say about the company's function, just focus on the job description and compliment their company culture. At the very least, you want to have it come across to the interviewers that you have looked into their company and are interested in what they do. Yes, I know it's stupid, but you have to play ball during the interview process.

Also, always have questions handy to ask at the end of the interview! It looks really bad to not ask any questions because it seems like you're not interested in learning more about the position. When I was interviewing I had a list of 20 questions in my Notes app I could ask and just picked out the best ones. Here are some of my favorite questions; you should aim to ask 3-5 questions.

How will I be trained?

What does a typical day on the job look like?

What other roles have successful employees in this position transitioned into?

What grabbed you about my resume?

Can you tell me anything about the team I’ll be working with?

What are some challenges I can expect to face in this role?

What do you like the most about working here?

Do you have an ideal start date in mind?

That's really all the big stuff I can think of. I definitely recommend looking up articles or videos on how to prep for an interview, but also don't overload yourself with information. It's important to come across as natural when you interview, and like I said before it's impossible to know what questions they'll ask beforehand so all you can really do is have some vague ideas about how to answer some of the questions that might be asked.

Good luck, and thank you for your kind words!

[wolven91]

Slugs & Apes - Chapter 1

"Have you heard? We're getting a Human representative!" Called a familiar voice behind Blarah.

Blarah retracted her eye stalks all the way back into herself in a slower-than-normal moistening as she sighed deeply. A fresh headache had just blossomed in the centre of her ‘head’. 

"No, we aren't." Blarah responded offhandedly to Pleppany. Turning to face her long standing friend who, whilst Pleppany was undeniably annoying at the best of times, she still meant the world to the young sluggat.

"This is a backwater, tail end of nowhere dust bowl. Why, in the deepest salt-mines, would a human come here?" She demanded. “They can live in the lap of luxury wherever they go.”

Whilst she doubted Pleppany, Blarah would have loved to see one of the new species that had recently joined The Galactic Community, but being realistic, there were far nicer places to go than the edge of space on a station that orbited an awful double star system. The Edge wasn’t liked by non-molluscs.

She sighed, her sides bubbling. She moistened her eye stalks again and looked at Pleppany, who, now she was paying attention, was visibly undulating. She wasn’t joking; Pleppany believed what she was saying.

"... you're not kidding are you? You know something!" Blarah realised, eyes ‘ploping’ as Blarah blinked. Pleppany was practically bouncing on the spot at this point as she began her long, winding way to the point, as usual.

"You know how I've been hanging out with one of the Captain's secretaries? The tall one with the green tinge? Well he let slip that his girlfriend had said, you know his girlfriend, the one that made a fool of herself at the party last year, yeah her. Well she said that her dad had said that he had to put in a ton of human acquisition requests to ready a diplomatic suite for one on the second floor north section and… that it had to be done by today at the very latest!"

Blarah stared at her friend for a moment as her mind quickly worked its way through her tale before latching onto the meat of the story, realisation washing over her.

"There's a big freighter due to dock later today..." Blarah mumbled aloud as the implications made themselves clear "But it'll be a diplomat, not goods, won't it?"

"That's the best bit, I heard that humans have been sliding over each other to get off Dirt! They chose to come here. They want to see every part of the Community, even this dump!"

A human, willingly choosing to come here and maybe even one that wasn't some dusty old political type? Blarah would believe it when she saw it. But… there was a moistening of hope.

Pleppany gave a smile and a seductive undulation, exaggerating her already undeniably attractive self, cocking an arm against her hip, just above where her body lay against the ground. 

"I intend to get an interview with him. The station's news centre has to keep on top of these new developments after all..." Pleppany said with a hungry tone.

Any Sluggat with working eye stalks couldn't deny Pleppany had every desirable trait going for her. If she intended to use her 'strengths' to get to the alien, she would likely succeed.

As for Blarah, she just might see him from the spaceport’s admin offices, but otherwise would have to settle for pictures and whatever information Pleppany put on the station's local network. Pleppany eventually slid away and out of sight, leaving Blarah alone.

Once Blarah was at her desk, she looked up everything she could on the Humans.

It began with the usual history lesson; The Galactic Community was a federation of the vast majority of the various species across the stars that had been found and contacted. Any smart mollusc understood the benefits of working together rather than going it alone so regardless of the various cultural differences amongst the gathered races, they ultimately all agreed to the same goal of cooperation and exploration to seek out new friends and allies.

The Galactic Community had countless sluggat races as part of their collection. Sluggats came in a vast variety of colours and construction, but were found exclusively around The Edge, the perimeter of the known galaxy. Sluggats did make their way inwards, but their home worlds were outward. 

It didn’t take much to decide to join The Galactic Community and for the most part sluggat kind was left to its own devices thanks to their choice of uncontested territory. The Community’s disapproval at their constantly warring ways was shown, but they never actually did anything to stop or prevent the various skirmishes. Nothing to adjust the status quo. 

Then these creatures appeared. Humans. Bipedal like most of The Galactic Community races, but smaller, closer to slaggat size, much to their joy. There had been some kind of issue during their rapid uplift. Sluggats being limited to The Edge only really learnt of the event after it had been and gone. Whatever happened, the humans rapidly spread out amongst the stars and were immediately a hit amongst all if not most of the sentient races for various reasons. 

On average, they stood as tall as the tallest sluggat, roughly the same in width, but instead of securely travelling across the ground with the use of mucus and their lower body, they perpetually fell forwards, catching themselves with two appendages of dense meat and bone like the other races.

Bipedal, warm blooded, even their blood was bright red when exposed to the air. Everything about them was strange and screamed "Alien" and they enraptured sluggats just as they had everyone else. The video Blarah was watching had a human male and female standing side by side as the information was given as a voice over. 

Their skin didn't move unless they chose to move themselves. She wondered how the hell they saw behind themselves without being able to extend their eye stalks, unless they were constantly retracted in? There was a class of Sluggat that did that, she was sure of it.

Blarah grasped the fast food drink cup in one hand and while slurping it loudly, trying to get the last of the delicious sugar water at the bottom, a deep voice washed over her, the deep vibrations rippling her flesh subtly.

"Excuse me, I'm a bit lost."

Blarah’s eyestalks snapped up from the video, getting locked onto the Human's in front of her. Her free hand slammed down on the keyboard in an attempt to shut the voice up. After an awkward few seconds and several brutish slaps the computer was silenced as it began an in depth explanation on the differences of their genders.

She moistened her eyes with a quiet 'plop' as she struggled to figure out what to say. He was huge, he was solid and he was leaning right over her desk and his eyes had entranced the poor unsuspecting Blarah completely and utterly.

[thedawningofthehour]

This week for some reason has felt so heavy. Elections aside, every single thing of media i see reminds me of DOTH to some extent, I wasn't exaggerating when I said this fic has literally rotted my brain. Recently I've been on transformers because of the new movie and remembered how in one of the shows there is an arc where a very important character loses his memory and is manipulated, which reminded me of how this was a trope in several shows and how I literally hated it because of all the anxiety it generated for me even to this day, no kidding, that rabbit hole reminded me of my most recent case: Code Geas! Which I just remembered, it's the most similar to Doth!!! At one point in the anime the main character is captured and taken to his father, who alters his memories in order to use his intelligence for his benefit, and not only that but the one who captured him is a character who is supposed to be a good person, but his beliefs of what is right end up doing more harm than good. And yes, I also wanted to punch him so hard in the face because I was so angry!!!!

The point is, I hope everything gets better in your life so you can post more often and I can get on with my life, because i need It so much.

Btw, I decided to watch the Simpsons Halloween specials and on the 2020 one they have a sketch about the elections and at one point they show the things Trump did in his term and My God!!! the man didn't change at ALL!!!! Some things he said he might as well have done them yesterday!!!!

I just looked it up and oh geeze that is actually eerily similar to what I have in doth.

For legal purposes I have never watch Code Geass and knew absolutely nothing about it before this ask; I actually confused it with Code Lyoko a lot as a child. All similarities are coincidental.

Like dude Trump has been a dipshit for so long his ridiculous assholery has been cemented into American pop culture. Like, was Back to the Future big outside America? Biff Tannen was literally a lampoon of Trump. This was thirty years before he ever announced his presidential run. He's always been an absolute joke until he stepped into the spotlight at the exact moment the alt-right movement needed representation, and they latched onto him to play out their fantasies of owning women and killing brown people.

And he's actually gotten worse since getting out of office. The anger of being rejected and the stress of maybe going to jail is doing a number on him, but he also legit has dementia. A lot of people think he's had a stroke as well. The other night he mimed fellating a microphone during a rally. People accused Biden of having dementia but like-Biden's stuff is all pretty typical old people stuff. They forget things, they mix up names, they hit their limit and are kind of nonfunctional until they get a nap. That's just what happens when you're 81. Sexual behavior with absolutely no care to its appropriateness is textbook dementia shit.

I'm really sorry to you and everyone else who isn't American and has to listen to me talk about the election endlessly. Believe me when I say I would much rather talk about turtles. I'd like to say the political posting will stop after tomorrow, but this isn't going to be over for a while.

Please vote if you haven't already, guys. For real.

[thatstormygeek]

"And I think there’s more Republicans still out there that perhaps don’t want to speak publicly. They don’t want to get the backlash or the retribution that the former president has talked about if he’s reelected."

Huh. Sounds an awful lot like how they've been describing cancel culture all this time. But I thought only the "left" did that to people.

“And just because someone disagrees with your opinion, on a policy matter, or something like that, doesn’t mean they’re a bad person. And so I think a lot of times these days, people take things so personally, or they make it personal, when it doesn’t have to be. And I think that’s the way we move forward is being civil, allowing for discourse, especially discourse from the other side. And we can find common ground.”

The problem is that common ground has to include respecting the rights of people to live in ways you don't agree with. And Republicans are horrid at that. So y'all can opine about the need for common ground all you like, you're going to have to show us something, prove that you can do that, before we can begin to think about where that common ground might lie.

Personally, I don't know that there is anything they can manage that will make me trust it's not just a ploy to get us to let our guards down. YMMV. In my experience, the only time the right is decent is when they are forced to be.

Clay Wirestone practices what he preaches in that piece. He is willing to extend the benefit of the doubt to Representative Howe, ready to meet him partway.

Me? I'm not so nice.

I can appreciate the effort Howe spent laying out Trump's history of lying about elections being stolen long before he was even in the running for office. And I get the desire to weasel out of your own responsibility, especially when writing a public opinion piece. But my dude...come on. You lay out how your guy was an obvious liar and openly vindictive, then make a big deal out of how y'all were lied to, but then you tell everyone you voted for Trump twice.

So the lies and overt grudges weren't enough to turn you off. I guess I'm glad open insurrection is, but jesus fucking christ the bar is in the deepest level of hell and most of the GOP still can't clear it.

"Every Republican, with hindsight as a gift, needs to thoroughly examine the actions of the former President, and determine whether or not you think he exemplifies the virtues and values we hold dear as Americans."

If only. I mean, I think the values and virtues Republicans hold dear are kind of shitty a lot of the time, but it would be nice if they'd at least try to pretend to care about those.

"Several years have since passed, and with hindsight and a willingness to accept the facts, I decided to write this article for my fellow Kansas Republicans. While we may have different perspectives and analysis of what happened on January 6th, and what happened leading up to that day, what actually occurred that day must be accounted for and fully addressed by Republicans and the Republican Party."

Overall, I'm glad he wrote this. We are going to need more (a LOT more) in that party willing to openly hit the brakes if there is any chance for this nation at all. And I hope he stands by his declaration to not support Trump.

But I also wonder what his options are otherwise. Who is running on the GOP ticket that he feels he can vote for? If open insurrection truly is the line, there are others he can support, but if he's being honest about wanting the direction of his party to change, well...good fucking luck with these primaries.

And that's where the weaseling I mentioned earlier comes in. Ultimately, I don't give a shit if this guy experiences any consequences or whatever if he's truly committed to changing things and willing to actually investigate his own biases. But it's hard to know if the dodging accountability is just ego protection or if it's a sign he really doesn't see what the issues are.

Time will tell, I suppose.

[blueheartedmayor]

5. a good morning hug

‘good morning, Damien!’ Oliver signed happily, a smile wide on his face.

(and a hug for the mun too! happy new year!)

For When You Need a Hug (Accepting across the blogs, but will be slow!)

-

The first day back after any form of work break was always considered a culture shock to anyone. It was easier to envision a world where one didn't have to go back to work. A life of luxury sounded grand in the long-term.

But the world needed to keep spinning. Some jobs were vital, such as the mayor who would make sure that schemes to help those who had been affected by public service buildings being closed were helped as early as possible. Damien had goals for the new year, after all, and he wanted those in the city to benefit from ideas that seemed so obvious that it was a surprise that no one had considered them before.

Seeing Oliver after a break away was a further pep in his step. When the attorney stepped into his office, Damien was up on his feet, crossing the office, and pulling his friend into a quick, yet firm, hug. Nothing like the bear-hugs the Colonel would give to those he was comfortable with, but clearly a consequence of being in the soldier's company over the break.

"Good morning to you as well, old friend. And a happy new year to you too. I hope it was a good break for you? We must take time to catch up on it all when you have a free moment."

[ladylilithprime]

"Look, you all know that I'm a Mad Scientist, right?"

Several people nod while others exchange confused or slightly uncomfortable looks. You make a mental note to transfer those individuals to a less exacting department and nod.

"The key word in that title is mad, and it doesn't actually mean angry. It means that I am, by definition, quite explicitly crazy.

"Another title I've been given is Evil Genius," you continue, taking on a bit of a lecturing tone in the manner of your least-hated professors. "Evil is a bit subjective, admittedly, morality being a product of culture and society more than a strictly inherent category, but genius? That is definite. I am, quite frankly, almost guaranteed to be the smartest person in any given room.

"Now, knowing that I am both crazy and a genius, I also know that some of my inventions may well be even more dangerous than I anticipate simply because I am predisposed to look at something someone more rational might regard as outrageous or ill-advised and go right ahead and build it anyway for the challenge of it. Remember the Automated Atomic Scrubber?"

More nods, a few shudders from those who had survived that one. It really had been a bad idea, but the challenge was just too intriguing to resist. Which was really the point you were making.

"Now, I'm self-aware enough to know that this is a risk, which is why all of your employment contracts come with very good benefits, healthcare, and generous severance and life insurance packages," you remind them. "And not just because several of the so-called heroes have a bad habit of treating my employees as disposable."

A quiet rumble of irritated complaints goes around, and one of the workers - Alan, the one who got thrown through the plate glass window last month - reaches up to touch the faint scarring around his right eye. He had almost lost the eye, and you had been livid, sending a literally explosive complaint letter to the American Heroes Association over the incident. Another mental note to make sure Alan got a bonus for returning to work so quickly; loyalty like that was hard to come by and deserved to be rewarded.

"So, given that the heroes don't always treat my employees with the care and respect due to fellow people and excellent workers, coupled with the understanding that not all of my inventions are actually going to be good or safe for everyone around them when in use, naturally I determined that always having a quick and easy failsafe shut down would be a sensible precaution. And, since I don't want the American Heroes Association to confiscate my inventions and reverse engineer them like bloody thieves who don't respect intellectual property rights, it follows that I would make that shut down button as destructive to the machine as possible. All my blueprints are archived and backed up with password protection, anyway, so I can register the ones that work with the patent office and bury the ones that were, as noted, ill-advised.

"Was that answer sufficient?" you ask, checking in. After all, one of the hazards of always being the smartest person in the room was the occasional lapse in remembering that not everyone could follow your logic. As well, a hazard of being admittedly crazy was that your logic was not always reliably logical, so it never hurt to get confirmation.

"Yes, Doctor Hazárde," the one who had asked says, nodding and looking thoughtful. You wait, letting him think, and are unsurprised when he bites his lower lip before looking up. "I think I need to talk to HR about something, Doctor."

"I thought you might, Raoul," you say with a smile that you hope comes across as more reassuring than threatening. "Do let me know if you need a letter of recommendation or a corroborating report for AHA. You've been an excellent member of the team thus far."

"Er, thank you, Doctor," Raoul stammers, blushing and looking a touch chagrined. Really, why did heroes always assume that they weren't recognizeable out of costume? The boy hadn't even dyed his hair or worn colored contacts behind those fake glasses!

"Alright, everyone, back to work!" you say cheerfully. "And let's put that self-destruct button behind an extra armor panel, hm? Don't want to make it too easy for the heroes to get to, after all!"

Your workers always ask “Why do you put a self destruct button on your inventions?” Tired of their questioning, you decide to explain why it’s perfectly rational.

[sunnyworldwidelogistics]

Our Persistence Made Shipping Bed Linen to Saudi Arabia Possible—You Won’t Find Another Company Like Us!

Our Persistence Made Shipping Bed Linen to Saudi Arabia Possible—You Won’t Find Another Company Like Us!

Mr. Ge from Ningbo is in the textile business, often shipping bed linen to Saudi Arabia. This time, he had over 22 cubic meters of goods to ship, and because of the tight timeline, he needed air freight. He was introduced to me by a friend.

As an experienced freight forwarder China to Saudi Arabia, I am quite familiar with the Saudi route. Although there are many flights to the Middle East, only larger airlines like Emirates and Turkish Airlines operate cargo planes, while others, such as Qatar Airways and Kuwait Airways, mainly use wide-body passenger planes with limited cargo space. This shipment was over 20 cubic meters in volume, and the client wanted it shipped in one batch, so choosing the right airline was crucial. Even for us, as a seasoned freight forwarder China to Saudi Arabia, this was a challenging task. The client mentioned that other freight forwarders couldn’t offer a solution for shipping everything in one go. He felt that our company was larger and more reliable, with a never-give-up attitude, so he placed his hopes in us.

Since the client trusted me so much, I couldn’t let him down. In our 20+ years of operation, Sunny Worldwide Logistics has a 99% on-time delivery rate, unless there are natural disasters or other uncontrollable events.

Since the client’s goods were in Ningbo, we based our solution on flying from Shanghai Airport, which is nearby. I primarily reached out to Emirates (EK) and Qatar Airways (QR). As backup options, we also considered other airports in Nanjing and Hangzhou, which have increasing numbers of international flights. We even looked into Wenzhou and found a transfer option via QR flights to Qatar, which was also worth considering.

Finally, persistence paid off! A contact at Qatar Airways in Shanghai informed me that there was a last-minute cancellation, leaving a perfect spot for our shipment, but it required handling two days in advance. I immediately secured the space! When I sent the route and details to the client, he was very pleased and said, “I trust you as my freight forwarder China to Saudi Arabia. I feel relieved handing this over to you!”

This case is just a glimpse of how we operate. We apply the same persistence to every client—never giving up until the goal is reached. Each client gets at least three options, which is deeply connected to our company culture.

Our internal culture emphasizes constant learning, improving teamwork, and boosting passion for work. At one point, around the seventh year of our business, we hit a bottleneck. The office felt lifeless, with no energy or enthusiasm.

I was very concerned, so we introduced morning meetings. In the beginning, we would dance and play games to lift everyone's spirits. Back then, everyone who left our company was a "dance master," knowing at least seven dances! Gradually, we refined this into a structured routine. Mondays were for dancing, Tuesdays for reading about military discipline, Wednesdays for games, and Thursdays for sharing experiences.

This morning meeting culture continues to evolve. Now, on Mondays we read about military discipline, and on Wednesdays, we read about persistence, with a dedicated reading segment in the mornings. We are constantly refining this routine so that more people can get involved.

The biggest benefit of the morning meetings is that they boost energy and team cohesion. After dancing or exercising in the morning, everyone feels energized, and their moods lift. This is the culture at Sunny Worldwide Logistics—our morning meetings bring everyone together as one.

To learn more about us, you can check out my journal, where I record stories of international freight, along with the warm and touching moments we share with our clients. Feel free to reach out anytime if you need assistance.

[cooladddy]

The Marvels’: First Reactions After the Premiere

The Marvel Studios film held its premiere in Las Vegas Tuesday, with press screenings also held in New York and Los Angeles. Now, first reactions are arriving on social media, ahead of formal reviews, which hit on Wednesday morning.

Brie Larson, Ms. Marvel star Iman Vellani and WandaVision‘s Teyonah Parris star in The Marvels, which hails from Candyman filmmaker Nia DaCosta and arrives in theaters on Friday. It is a sequel to 2019’s Captain Marvel, which raked in $1.128 billion globally. But The Marvels opens amid a very different landscape, and doesn’t have nearly as lofty box office hopes. The film did not have its actors available to promote the film amid the SAG-AFTRA strike, and Captain Marvel benefited from tying directly to Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame, which helped build excitement. Marvel switched gears in its marketing of the movie on Monday, releasing a last-minute trailer that reminded audiences of Captain Marvel’s ties to the Avengers, and featuring archival footage of Endgame stars Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evan and Josh Brolin. #TheMarvels is pure FUN. It’s an intergalactic character journey focused on further developing #CarolDanvers #MonicaRambeau & #KamalaKhan individually & as a team. It’s also a clear new beginning for the MCU. MAJOR implications for the future. Fans are gonna be TALKING. pic.twitter.com/nMJ2VBzEPn— POC Culture (@POCculture) November 8, 2023 All I wanted from #TheMarvels was to have a good time and that movie is stupid fun! Kamala, Monica, and Carol are so much fun together. The swapping, singing, and dancing played better than I thought it would. The cameos, my god those cameos! I’m so happy I saw this in IMAX! pic.twitter.com/seWhnb9fzX— Joseph Deckelmeier (@joedeckelmeier) November 8, 2023 #TheMarvels is pretty all over the place, with a truly silly plot, but still manages to be light on its feet. It’s often really funny, mostly thanks to Iman Vellani - a STAR. Fun body-switching action, and doesn’t take itself too seriously. Not great, but far from a disaster. pic.twitter.com/ammljNEvCw— Daniel Howat (@howatdk) November 8, 2023 #TheMarvels is a winner Not a perfect winner But a light, breezy, entertaining blockbuster that delivers a satisfying team up! Brie Larson really SHINES as Captain Marvel (Finally), Iman continues to be a shining Star as Kamala Khan, & Teyonah Paris knocks it out as Rambeau! pic.twitter.com/GV9PuwiFIa— Zach Pope (@popetheking) November 8, 2023 It’s saddening that it’s tracking so low because #THEMARVELS is a BLAST! A breath of fresh air for the MCU that balances terrific humor and heart throughout and boasts fantastic performances and chemistry from its main trio of Larson, Parris, and Vellani. DaCosta was the jolt of… pic.twitter.com/XuR0XVWaPA— TomChatalbash (@TomChatalbash) November 8, 2023 #TheMarvels was such a lovely, surprising, decent and delightful experience. The chemistry of the cast is out of this world. Kamala Khan and her family are definitely one of the movie’s standouts. Nia DaCosta delivers a movie full of heart. The emotional beats are also great,… pic.twitter.com/xN4z3XqagU— The Hollywood Handle (@HollywoodHandle) November 8, 2023 Read the full article

[realityzap]

"... applies to everyone.  This is a must read for women, especially mothers who are burdened with shaping the next generation, but men would benefit as well. Despite the title this is not a book about religion, although Christianity is mentioned throughout for historical context and explanation as to where the ideas of patriarchy, and the Seven Deadly Sins originated from. Now I that I’ve seen them and have read detailed examples of how they perpetrate our culture, I can’t unsee them.  The Seven Deadly Sins are everywhere.  Our society is absolutely saturated with them.  My hope is that this book will bring more awareness to their influence, make us aware of our internalized patriarchy, and help us heal it by breaking free from these toxic, mythical narratives that do nothing but enforced oppression." — review of On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (2023)

"While I enjoy the perspective of psychological astrology, and the idea that we have three levels of health for expressing each of our planetary placements was helpful and new to me (similar to the Enneagram), this is a very basic book for beginners.  It sets a good foundation if you’re very new to astrology and offers a quick reference if you’re more experienced. " — review of Use Your Planets Wisely: Master Your Ultimate Cosmic Potential with Psychological Astrology (2020)

— Chelsea

"A society in which self-realisation is central proceeds from the assumption that people are essentially good — so self-realisation is a good idea.  A society that takes the opposing view of human nature will be focused on self-denial, because it’s all about keeping a check on evil impulses: regular monitoring is necessary, and a firm hand needed on the reins.  This notion has dominated Western thought, taking its penultimate shape from Christian ethics. [...] Both religion and scientism instil in the individual a split identity that springs from a sense of deficiency.  I am evil and sinful, or irrational and stupid.  If I make enough effort, I can become good or rational, and those in power will help me by continually monitoring me and rewarding or punishing me.  If large groups persist in their sinfulness (unbelievers) or stupidity (reactionaries), those in power have to take radical measures: mass conversion, re-education, or if needs be, eradication.  Even perfectibility has its limits. Both religion and scientism regard present-day humans as imperfect; true perfection will only be found in the hereafter or in a distant future when society is run according to truly scientific principles.  In both cases, this requires considerable personal sacrifice.  Believers must pray and work hard to attain God’s mercy.  The ignorant must study hard, and if necessary seek psychological counselling in order to attain reason through the proper insights."

— Paul Verhaeghe, What About Me? (2012/2014)

"Why do women equate self-denial with being good? We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom.  We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger.  We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day.  We put others' needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary.  In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses--often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts--are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins. Since being codified by the Christian church in the fourth century, the Seven Deadly Sins--pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth--have exerted insidious power.  Even today, in our largely secular, patriarchal society, they continue to circumscribe women's behavior.  For example, seeing sloth as sinful leads women to deny themselves rest; a fear of gluttony drives them to ignore their appetites; and an aversion to greed prevents them from negotiating for themselves and contributes to the 55 percent gender wealth gap. In On Our Best Behavior, Loehnen reveals how we've been programmed to obey the rules represented by these sins and how doing so qualifies us as "good."  This probing analysis of contemporary culture and thoroughly researched history explains how women have internalized the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it.  By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover the integrity and wholeness we seek."

— Penguin Random House, about On Our Best Behavior (2023)

"In a world where we’re often judged harshly for identifying and revealing our needs, doing so can be very frightening.  Women, in particular, are susceptible to criticism.  For centuries, the image of the loving woman has been associated with sacrifice and the denial of one’s own needs to take care of others.  Because women are socialized to view the caretaking of others as their highest duty, they often learn to ignore their own needs. [...] In the course of developing emotional responsibility, most of us experience three stages: (1) “emotional slavery”—believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others, (2) “the obnoxious stage”—in which we refuse to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs, and (3) “emotional liberation”—in which we accept full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others."

— Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (1999)

"Once needs were met, more income did not generate more contentment.  It would appear that the acquisition of stuff and property beyond the basics doesn’t up your Zen quotient."

— Robert Lustig, The Hacking of the American Mind: The Science Behind the Corporate Takeover of Our Bodies and Brains (2017)

"An increasing number of women have more money and decision-making power, and it was only a matter of time before this trickled down to their romantic relationships.  The more independent women become, the less likely they are to tolerate relationships that don’t meet their needs. While women are demanding that men be more emotionally fluent, men are still receiving a very different message about what their role in the dating world is. [...] “Health programs often view men mainly as oppressors—self-centered, disinterested, or violent—instead of as complex subjects whose behaviors are influenced by gender and sexual norms.”  It’s one big, vicious cycle, where men’s individual actions confirm the beliefs of health care workers and then health care workers continue to treat them in a gendered way that doesn’t respond to their full set of needs."

— Liz Plank, For the Love of Men (2019)

[workscounselingcenter]

What Kind of Therapy is Right for My Family?

Seeking therapy can be intimidating and overwhelming. Acknowledging to yourself that you need help is hard, and acknowledging it to someone else can be even harder. This can be especially true in a family context. Some parents who enter into family therapy might be feeling at their wits’ end, or perhaps they are feeling like failures. There can be a lot of shame, discomfort, and anxiety in opening up about “family problems” to a stranger. In some cultural contexts that is a huge no-no, and in today’s multicultural society that can come with its own unique sets of challenges.

Whatever has led you to this place of seeking, you know that you’re ready to ask for help. Now the questions come:

Who do I go to for family therapy?

Are there different kinds of family therapists?

What treatment options are available to families?

What if I don’t like my therapist but someone else in my family does?

Is there a special kind of therapy just for families?

Is my child too young to participate in family therapy?

All of these questions and more can come up as you navigate what is right for your family. Luckily, these questions can be answered fairly simply. Any therapist who is comfortable working with families is a great place to start. In Tennessee, we have a special designation called LMFT which stands for Licensed Marital and Family Therapist. These therapists have both gone to school and chosen to specialize in the theories and techniques best suited to serve families. However, many therapists without this special license are trained and happy to work with families. Many therapist websites include specializations and preferred clients for each clinician.

Anyone looking into therapy should feel comfortable with their therapist and confident in their abilities. It does not hurt our feelings to ask us questions about our qualifications, experience, and theoretical lens. Trust me – we want what is best for you too! The first few sessions are often more of a “get to know you” for both the client and the therapist, and the hope is that all parties involved feel comfortable moving forward. If, for whatever reason, you do not feel that you and your therapist are a good match, it is perfectly acceptable to seek help elsewhere.

Therapy is available and accessible for people of all ages. Play therapy for children has proven to be effective for children as young as two years old, and many therapists recognize the benefits of children seeing their families work on tough topics and relational challenges together. Additionally, therapists like to see how the entire family system functions as a whole. Despite the fears that children can “interrupt” the therapeutic work in a session, this is not necessarily the case. It is often helpful to see how the individuals in the family each affect one another.

While this article does not dive deeply into the therapeutic techniques and strategies used by therapists, I hope this serves as encouragement that every family, and every therapist, is unique. Most therapists will have a preferred theory to serve as a framework for their sessions, but nearly every therapist works with the clients to tailor a treatment that will be effective. This can be examined from session to session and updated as needed. Essentially, it’s the trust and relationship that is built in the therapy office that makes the difference. If you find yourself here looking for family therapy, several of our therapists are licensed or pursuing licensure as an LMFT, and even for those who are not, there are several who specialize in family therapy. So, what are you waiting for? Let us know how we can help you today!