#i hope there's no afterlife so that i can be sure that you're actually free from it all

[cptkitten]

Blue October - Hate Me

[theboredasexual]

WHAT I HOPE HAPPENS IN SEASON 7

Alright buckle up because this might get long. (also if somebody else has already made this theory I apologise)

To start, let's recap a few Important Events in season 6.

Rayla promises to kill Callum if he gets controlled by aaravos again.

Callum does the cleansing thing, and is told that if he does dark magic again he will be consumed by it.

We already know aaravos can control dark mages.

It's been said many times by many people that there is a lot of foreshadowing for Callum using dark magic again in season 7 to save Rayla, and therefore 'being consumed by it' and/or falling victim to Aaravos's control once more. In this scenario, Rayla has promised to kill him (and we all know Rayla refuses to break her promises).

There's a lot of takes on this. Some people say that Rayla will, for once, break her promise and refuse to kill Callum; but I frankly hope this DOESN'T happen, because i think it'll be wildly unsatisfying.

I've seen other people point out that there is one remaining Quasar Diamond, and it'd be an INSANE chekovs gun (or whatever the phrase is) to leave that unused. The general theory goes like this:

Callum uses dark magic to save Rayla

Aaravos controls Callum

Rayla kills Callum

Rayla uses the Quasar Diamond to bring Callum back to life

But here's the thing (and correct me if I'm wrong, ofc) isn't the Quasar Diamond unable to revive someone who's actually passed on into the afterlife? Aaravos was stuck in a prison similar to the coins, just made with primal magic, and the COINS were explicitly stated to be a plane between life and death where spirits got trapped. When Rayla's parents passed on, the left they coins but didn't return to mortality like Runaan.

So for the singular Quasar Diamond to revive a dead Callum, something ELSE would have to happen first...

Here's what I imagine in my dreams of Season 7:

At some point in the season, maybe Rayla or Callum has learnt the spell that Viren used to trap people in the coins (we know Callum has studies dark magic...I find it easy to believe that he could've written down the notes for it in his spellbook). I'm pretty sure the Staff of Ziard is required for this spell, so lets just say we have that as well. This will come back in a bit.

Rayla is in some dire moment, about to die, and Callum remembers their conversation at the ship - he remembers promising to choose the greater good over Rayla if it came to it. But he just can't. And somehow, who knows how, he has the opportunity to free her...but only by using Dark magic a third time.

It's no choice for him, of course. He does the spell and Rayla is saved but now Callum is corrupted for good and Aaravos possesses him again (or he just does something villain-arc-y idk). So now Rayla has to fulfill HER promise and even though she's beyond angry and heartbroken with Callum breaking his, she's not about to stoop to his level.

There's a dramatic-ass fight scene between warrior and mage - spells flying everywhere, Rayla battling with swords and arrows and all sorts. But eventually she overpowers him (because of course she does) - shoots an arrow through his heart or stabs him in the chest or something like that. And as he's there, bleeding out in her arms from a wound she inflicted, she gets an idea. A horrible, awful idea but its her only chance to fix this.

Without thinking (because how are you meant to think AT ALL when you're one true love soulmate is DYING-) she picks up the Staff of Ziard, finds the place in Callums book that lists the spell, and digs Runaans blank coin out of her pocket.... and suddenly Callum's dying body is gone and the coin is no longer blank and Rayla. Has. Done. Dark. Magic. GASP-

Anyway no idea what would happen after that but I just really like the idea of Rayla using dark magic and understanding Callum being unable to let her die. I feel like it'd be a GREAT moment and a really confronting and horrifying thing for her and daaammnnnnnn......

[cookiesupplier]

A Friend Down In Hell - Part One

pairing: Nick Folio x ofc (Ishtar)

warnings/tropes: slow burn, pining, idiot in love, language, drinking, mentions of violence, mentions of torture, mentions of religious mythology. (potentially more to be added)

summary: Folio can't quite tell you how long he's been dead, but it doesn't matter when he has friends like his, and Ishtar. Ishtar, with whom he fell in love the moment he met her. The problem? She doesn't know it. How does he convince a demon, who is practically immortal, to date him when he's dead? How did Ellie do it so easily?

author’s note: Story TWO of the Hell-Verse, Unbetaed.. I hope you are going to enjoy the ride that's starting!

tags: @spicywhenspeaking @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @lyschko666 @bngurngheart @lacktoesandtoddlerants @sorrowsofsilence @collapsedglasshouses @vinyardmauro @dsireland86 @4rtificialfolio @emmmm127 @badomensls

Folio doesn’t actually know how long he’s been dead, he knew technically, but time changes depending on where you're in Hell, especially when it comes to the punishment dimensions. Those assholes can speed up time to make a day out in the real world seem like a decade for the poor bastards under their ‘care’, and Folio knew that first-hand.

Thankfully, Noah had never been one of his jailers, because he wasn’t sure he could ever be so forgiving of the shit he was put through for his punishment. He might seem like the most easygoing guy in the world, but there was a fucking line, okay mate. Noah, well, he was sort of the BOSS man of the bloody prick that had been torturing him in those first days that Folio was in Hell. On one hand, Folio could hold a grudge in the early days of when Noah would have to oversee his torture, and seeing that demon face in the other dimension, on the other, as time wore on, he got the vindictive please of cackling mercilessly at the dick-wad every time he fucked up and Noah reprimanded him…

Sometimes in front of Folio.

He swore he saw the fucker smirk a little too. Funny feeling Noah wasn’t supposed to do that, reprimand his subordinates in front of their victims, hmmmm victims? Prisoners? Subjects? Whatever he was, considering he had been constantly told he was supposed to learn his lesson in how to be a better person, it had been hilarious watching that asshat get his ass torn a new one, the incompetent fuck. It helped that most of these kinds of interactions came around the time right before Folio had earned his transition to living in the Afterlife part of Hell, instead of being imprisoned in the punishment dimensions of Hell. Boy, seeing Noah once he was free had been a shock and a half!

He’d just might have freaked out, just a little, yelled he wasn’t going back, and broken his nose! Both Jolly and Nicholas had smirked and just sat there watching the scene while Noah pinched his bleeding nose, asking if he was done now, or did he wanted to try to his jaw too?

Folio had just blinked at him at the time, rather shocked that Noah was just sitting there, looking at him with his head tipped forward while he was pinching his nose tightly to stop it bleeding. Right, so, Folio had known how to handle a broken nose, he was a biker, and he’d gotten more than a few broken noses in his time, and fixed them. Anyone that tells you to tip your head backwards when you get a bloody nose was a fucking idiot, so seeing Noah tilt his head forward showed him that the man was smart. Not just because he was the one in charge of those other dimensions. No, you tipped your head forward, so the blood didn’t flow down the back of your throat from your nose and risk choking you to death.

Seeing Noah do that, Folio made the connection, that demons must be alive if they could be hurt and die, and Noah was protecting himself. Not that he was planning on doing anything, it was just, a curious thought. He had no intention of doing anything with it, but it was something he had wondered about the bastard that had tortured him in Hell time and time again. He had wondered at that moment if Noah knew that that asshole had enjoyed the vindictive nature of his position, sadly he learned later that he did, but not all demons had the right disposition for the ability to torture and punish the way they did. However, the fact that he actually enjoyed it, was the very reason why Noah would never allow him to advance any further in his position than he was already. The bastard, in question, was a very low-level demon in the rank of the punishment dimensions. Folio, had never ranked high on the punishment scale, that demon had just always been a bastard, which was why Folio had sadly landed with him. Asshole, unfortunate, but, it was where he ended up.

So, the long and the short of it, he didn’t know for sure how long for him it had been since he’d been dead, thanks to the fact that torturous asshole had liked to play with the flow of time to mess with him, Folio did know that it had been almost five years, give or take a few, since he had been free of him. He’d been living free and clear in Hell and enjoying his life, it was a party, and he loved it here. Living in Hell, you wanted for nothing after all.

Folio wouldn’t lie. Even though he had been in Hell for a while in the punishment dimensions, it had still been a massive culture shock changing from them to living peacefully in Hell with the others. He hated to admit, that some of the demons had made him a little bit wary at first, but accepting people for who they were, wasn’t one of the lessons he had had to learn when he came to hell, and that hadn’t taken him long to adjust.

Good food, good booze, gorgeous women, what more could a guy want right?

He even had the most fucking amazing motorcycle that he had built himself from scratch. When he was alive he’d had a Harley-Davidson, which, unfortunately, had been the machine that he’d totalled, and had gotten himself killed with. Here, now, this baby was pure Hell-Born, yep, Hell had its own brand, which was fucking awesome if you asked him and Folio thrived tinkering around with it! It was so much fun! His bike was a thing of beauty, he loved working on her. Almost as much of a beauty as Ishtar.

Ishtar.

The best part of being in Hell, not being in the punishment dimensions, was Ishtar.

Folio had taken one look at Ishtar and fallen head over heels in love with that woman. Demoness. Love of his life. She was EVERYTHING. She was a purple-skinned beauty of a demon, and if anyone thought that they challenged her for his heart, they had another thing coming.

Not that she knew that.

Nope.

Jolly never let him forget it, either.

Made fun of him for it constantly.

He asked out and went out with other women constantly, they were fine, they were easy going, and they were fun to go out with, but Ishtar was different. Flirting with her was fun, and it was great, but going out with her, he knew he would crash and burn, and he’d destroy any hope he’d have of her falling absolutely and irrevocably in love with him. No. He had to get her in the perfect position, he had to ease her into the world of Folio.

Jolly just rolled his eyes at him over it.

Folio just ignored him, so what he’d been flirting with her for ages, he would get there, he had time, it wasn’t like he was going anywhere any time soon now was it? This was Hell!

Spinning around in a circle, it was a quiet morning in the soul intake office, at least the one they were running, Folio used to wonder how many of them there were because he knew countless souls were coming through Hell at any given time, but they barely handled few. However, the more he thought about it, the more his head just went in circles, until he decided that he’d rather just not know.

“Yo, Ellie, J-man,”

He chuckled, literally feeling Jolly’s unappreciative stare at the nickname when he said it,

“Okay, Jolly, how about it, who is up for coming out to the bar tonight? I feel like a night out on the town… up for some fun with me?”

Looking to the pair, hopeful that they might agree to go.

“Could rope Nick and Noah into it, come onnnnnn?”

Grinning wide, ever since Ellie made up with Noah though, if either of them agreed, then Folio was pretty sure that if one was going to the bar, the other would too. Not only had Noah not been big on letting her out of his sight lately, after her disappearing for a week, his Noah’s entourage seeing him there without her, oh it would be a field day, they’d be on him like wild fucking piranhas. Folio sometimes worried what would happen to any of those girls if Ellie found out one of them tried something with Noah. He’d had seen her getting quite good with her bat lately, not to mention, from what he heard, that Noah was still training her with other kinds of weapons. Fun times.

Scratch that, he wasn’t worried about what would happen to them. He was more worried about whether Ellie would feel guilty after. Anything they got they would deserve, especially after taking a shot at a demon lord when he was so openly involved with someone, to the level he was with Ellie. They would have it coming. However, souls here, and dealing with someone like that, are two very different things. Folio hoped Ellie wouldn’t actually have to deal with that.

Jolly shook his head slightly looking over to Folio and, Ellie not even answering before she was looking towards Jolly with his expression, wondering what was going on,

“What’s up with you?”

His attention switched from Folio to Ellie’s quizzical look, as Folio pointedly ignored the judgement written all over his oldest friend's face. He might have technically known Noah longer, but he’d been friendly with Jolly longer, mostly because the time he knew Noah longer than Jolly, the man had been the Boss-man of the guy making his life a literal, living hell, so he wasn’t counting that to his friendship quota, thank you!

“He is going into withdrawals.”

That was all he said however and Folio just rolled his eyes, Ellie looking between the pair, wondering what it was they knew and she didn’t. Sure, she’d been around for months, but there were still things that she was learning about her friends, about Hell. Even Folio, who had been around for years on top of his time in punishment, could still learn new things here and there, so who the fuck knew everything around here. He wasn’t even sure if the demons knew everything… no one knew everything, not even the demon lords! Not that he’d put it past Noah to claim he did, but Folio would flip him off for trying, though.

They probably all would, for that matter.

Now Ellie was looking at him with scrutiny, probably trying to figure out what Jolly meant when it became obvious that he wasn’t about to explain any further, and Folio just looked at her with a raised eyebrow,

“Come on, you know we all have fun when we go out, what's the harm?”

Grinning at her, his smile was wide, and bright, hopeful as he tried to convince her to come out with him, sure, he could go out on his own tonight, but it just wasn’t the same. Especially considering if he did go out on his own it would be so much more obvious why he was there, well, one of the reasons he was there. He did like hanging out with his friends too, Folio always liked hanging out with his friends, he was always up for that! Honestly, the only thing that could beat hanging out with his friends would be a night out with a beautiful lady, one in particular came to mind, but that was something else entirely.

Either way, he never went to the bar alone, never, Ishtar might ask questions!

“Eeelliiiieeeeee…. Pleeeaassseeeeee?”

He was not to proud to beg? He wasn’t… Jolly wasn’t wrong, not that he was about to admit it, but he missed his Ishtar time, he missed that gorgeous face, getting lost in the wondrous joy of her eyes, and he just knew if he ever dared to touch those lips of hers, they’d be… ahem, nope, nope he wasn’t getting distracted from his goal now. Not when his plan to get to see her, and spend time talking to her tonight was still within his reach.

“So, Ellie, how about it, bestest, ever, pal? Come onnnn?”

Looking towards her with raised eyebrows expectantly waiting as she dragged out the answer, she was doing it on purpose, he swore it, torturing him, not that he didn’t torment her right back every chance he got.

“Fine, bring Noah?”

The groan he got at the question,

“Can we skip the shot challenges Folio? Please, dragging you home passed out on the floor, and my boyfriend so drunk he thinks it would be too ungentlemanly to take advantage of me, is not my idea of a good time.”

Jolly however was chuckling from the other side of the room, Folio rolling his eyes at him, enough with that, he was just happy she agreed

“I told you, withdrawals.... you’ll figure it out. Eventually.”

Divider by @saradika-graphics

[woodelf68]

LOKI 2.4

I don't see why they can't keep Dox in Holding forever; they had no problem pruning Lokis into the Void for forever. >.>

Dammit, Sylvie, it would have taken OB and Victor five seconds to sign each other's copies of the TVA Guidebook; could you not let them have their brief moment of fanboying joy?

OB's explanation of the Loom is very helpful here; it reminds me of the Doctor on Doctor Who explaining sciencey things to his companions on screen so that the kiddies (and adults, lol) at home could understand what was going on. (Okay, so the TVA as a TARDIS, discuss. Look at all those long corridors its got for running in!) I loved OB's "...the backlog of branches that was created when someone...*looks accusingly at Sylvie* ...killed He Who Remains and released all those branches and ruined my life." (Aw, come on, OB, you're out of the basement now! You're making friends and meeting admirers of your work!)

Loki claiming that the little figure in the model was clearly not him so why did he have to be the one to 'hoof it' and lob the throughput multiplier into the Loom? Well, Loki, you have very long legs and can run fast, also tradition has been established that your character is the one who gets sent to do the hard jobs for others; just be glad you're not being asked to steal Surtur's flame and doom Asgard this time around. (Of course, your decision to abscond with the Tesseract has already caused the TVA to erase the Asgard of your timeline, people and realm both, so...uh, never mind, pretend I never said anything.)

MOBIUS AND HIS PIE AGAIN. I SWEAR TO GOD THAT THE TVA LACES THE PIE WITH DRUGS TO KEEP ITS WORKERS DOCILE AND HAPPY WITH HAVING NO LIFE OUTSIDE OF WORK AND POSSIBLY ACTS AS A CONTINUAL DOSAGE OF SOMETHING THAT KEEPS THEM FROM REGAINING THEIR MEMORIES? MOBIUS CAN'T GO TOO LONG WITHOUT ANOTHER SLICE OF PIE BECAUSE HE'S EXPERIENCING THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS OF AN ADDICT. I was so happy to hear Sylvie call him out on his pie-seeking habits and his refusal to try to find out any information about the timeline he was pulled from. Like sure it might hurt to remember a family whom he'd lost, but I'd rather honour the memories of loved ones by remembering them than being too cowardly to do so.

I have to agree with the point I saw raised in another post of 'WHY do they have to fix the Loom? Surely all the multiple timelines managed to exist just fine on their own before it was created?' Also, hoo boy, did Loki's speech about how you can't free a people and then leave them to look after themselves remind anyone else of Asgard's justification of being the ruler of the Nine Realms? Keeping a military presence on those conquered worlds? AND NO, LOKI, YOU'RE NOT A GOD, YOUR DAD TOLD ME SO IN A BIT OF THE SACRED TIMELINE YOU DIDN'T GET TO EXPERIENCE. Although this time at the TVA is Loki's post-Thanos period when he was claiming the same thing in the Sacred Timeline, wanting to be a 'benevolent god'. So...that actually ties in.

Um -- do we all agree that Miss Minutes looked orgasmic watching everyone (except Brad) be crushed in the cube thingie?

(Was Loki pruning himself related back to the time slipping thing? I still don't really understand what the point of that was.)

OB: But if I reboot Miss Minutes, we'll lose the magic dampeners in the TVA!

Loki and Sylvie: THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF A PROBLEM!

Oh hell yeah, Bradley, prune that bitch! I HOPE YOU END UP IN THE VOID WITH A HUNGRY ALLIGATOR, RAVONNA.

Kudos to Timely for sensibly asking if it's safe before sticking his head inside some alien machinery and not just blindly following instructions.

LIGHT! BEAUTIFUL LIGHT IN THE TVA! I don't care what this means as long as I can properly see what's going on!

Oh. Oh shit. Spaghettification is what's going on, huh. *Salutes Victor Timely* May you get the afterlife you hoped for, sir, you died a noble death. Guys. Guys, stop staring into the blinding radioactive light; I'm sure that's not good for your eyes.

And...what a cliffhanger; it's like FINALLY all the pieces are falling into place and the story is getting to someplace exciting. That was a good episode; I hope it keeps up this pace next week and something good happens if the Loom is going pear-shaped. I gotta try to remember to watch this on Thursday for a change.

@delyth88 -- finally felt inspired to make a long reaction post! (And my stupid computer glitched about 2/3 of the way through and I had to rewatch what I'd already seen to remember what I had been commenting on! I blame the TVA.)

[blacknidstang]

4 and 8 for the discourse asks ❤️

Hello my beloved 💕

4) meg!sam or lucifer!sam

HOW DO I ANSWER THIS EVEN HOW. I think Jared's acting with Meg was just... Phenomenal truly. Mindblowing performance from such amazing amazing episode. But i think personally i choose Luciter Sam. There's certain beauty, elegance and grace to his Lucifer that sometimes take my breath away. And we don't see a lot truly but sometimes, even a tiniest moment can leave a mark on you. Like this one short scene from Proverbs that had me screaming MY WIFE, MY BRIDE, MY BEAUTY, MY LOVE.. just... Just look at him i am i feel WEAK

8) How should the afterlife have been “resolved”? Did the fixing of Heaven work?

Bdjdudwij i cannot believe you're asking me this when you're fully aware i think Dean is just a prisoner in his isolated heaven and all of that is a illusion. :/ Obviously the writers were held at gun point to make it LOOK LIKE Dean is in heaven waiting for SAM instead of being happy with Cas but they dropped hints all along that this is just an unreal Chuck-made heaven. If you reverse the second Carry On song, invert the waves and subtract the frequency from the first version you will be able to find the morse code to the actual truth of the finale. Hope that clears thing up.

Ok petty jokes aside i actually just realized, it doesn't matter bc it is a win-win thing for us.

IF it had not worked & Chuck has won then ya know, Sam & Dean share one heaven and as long as they are together, according to that certain post, THEY WON'T EVEN REALIZE CHUCK HAS WON. Like it's genuinely funny that the claim turned out to be even more of a samdean soulmatism proof

But if it has worked and heaven is fixed (which i genuinely think is the answer bc it matters so much to me that they fucked god over and raised new one just so they could be free and happy together) then the rest is history. So even if there's nothing i exactly can say for sure, i wholeheartedly think sam & dean are each others heaven and thats all that matters.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to particularly rant about that one thing <3

Spn discourse asks

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

more musings about religion under the cut...

this was actually another thing that pushed me from christianity as a child. i didn't really understand the concept of heaven for a long time. different christians i knew had different ideas about the after life. i was raised believing we die, become angels, and go live in heaven with god forever happy to worship him.

some christians tell me that we'd have our own homes and live quite ordinary lives but free of sin (aka fun) but we'd be happier than ever.

and that terrified me. just living an ordinary life forever and ever where you do nothing but worship god? it filled me with so much existential dread.

and i think that's why the "all the interesting people are in hell" kind of mindset really appealed to me. and i genuinely felt like i'd prefer hell to heaven. and christians can say "well you didn't understand heaven and hell!" and my answer is okay? too bad. work on your PR then. lmao.

but this is also why paganism appealed to me.

unlike the christian heaven, the pagan afterlife in my imagination was a land of adventure and wonder. there were journeys and different worlds and monsters and gods and spirits. and this is just stuff i gathered from pop culture. but as i matured and took paganism more seriously and began studying the stuff earnestly, it just confirmed my excitement for a pagan afterlife.

obviously all afterlives are a bit different but the gist of it is you journey to your destination (which is one of many). if you're a good person then you go to the good afterlife and if you're bad you go to the bad afterlife and if you're kinda whatever then you go to the kinda whatever afterlife. and as far as we can tell these afterlives are just like our lives: there's hunting, games, drinking and feasting, even sex and fighting, etc. like as long as you're not going to the pits of tartarus or something the afterlife probably isn't that bad. maybe it's not as good/vivid/meaningful as life but it's not some place of either endless torture or endless monotony. and most (indo-european) paganisms at least have some concept of reincarnation. so even if it does eventually become boring or monotonous there's always the hope that you'll be reborn again. i appreciate that. neither the torment nor the bliss is eternal. instead they are reasonable, based on your merit (or demerit) and will eventually come to an end.

but until then? you just get to chill in some awe-inspiring landscapes, overcome obstacles, explore new worlds, talk to spirits and famous heroes and sages, solve riddles, drink and feast, hunt and play games, fuck and fight, sing songs, etc. again, maybe it's not as good as living but it sure as hell sounds a lot more compelling to me than hanging around worshipping god in eternal bliss forever.

[rathayibacter]

🌤️🌧️☔

Share your favorite mechanic from a game you’re working on. i really like the equipment mechanic in KATABASIS. your character is a spirit in a hostile afterlife, and your equipment is made up of all your various emotional baggages from life. the stats in the game are Anger, Despair, Regret, Longing, and Suspicion, and they're derived from your equipment, so youre constantly balancing how you want to set up your stats with the unique abilities provided by each piece of equipment. do you mix gear from multiple stats so that you can offset their disadvantages and vulnerabilities, or do you go all in to make yourself devastatingly powerful but with a massive achilles heel? im real close to having a revised playtest version of KATABASIS out, so ill probably be talking a lot more about it soon.

Share something melancholy from one of your games (name the game, or let me choose). there's a small gang of animals trapped in Disparateum's Dreaming. they're too real for the world around them, and there's no clear way to free them since they're not actually asleep. they're inspired by stories of a group of feral animals, some of which were escapees from a nearby slaughterhouse, that lived in the graveyard near my home when i was growing up. hope those guys are alright.

Is there a game idea you have that you’re not sure you’ll ever write? If so, what is it? oh, too many to count. getting ideas is the easy bit for me, so i usually share em on here or on discord because id rather someone whos actually interested in making it give it a go. heres a couple i dont think ive ever shared before, though:

mech game where your mech is powered by emotions, and each emotive stat can be temporarily empowered by swapping it for a panic-response equivalent

a dungeon crawl set in an infinite series of caverns, where the four elemental affinities all have their roles swapped around (earth is healing and protective, water is cruel and deadly, fire is gentle and requires nurturing, and wind is strange and mystical)

a competitive strategy game inspired by the late Roman republic, where generals who die become senators passing laws to try and lengthen the war and balance the scales of power between the remaining generals

a game called Party Planners where you're a party of powerful max level adventurers trying to survive the cutthroat world of high society by putting on the perfect dinner party

if youre reading this, and wanna do something with one of those ideas, go fuckin nuts. just be sure to tell me about it, so i can check it out!

[faebriel]

Hi! Just read the hadestown au piece and I just wanted to say it was so gorgeous and heartbreaking at the same time.

I was wondering if you could say a little more about the au? Maybe some stuff about how everything plays out following where the fic ends (I know how Hadestown ends, just mean in the au terms) and obviously the walk out of the underworld (and Wilbur’s reaction)

O/

hi anon!! first of all i am so SO glad you enjoyed the fic <3 thank you so much, and thank you for the question as well!!

as for the rest of the au - well, the recap in the notes kind of summarises the first part. and niki finds wilbur, and fights schlatt, and gets dumped outside the walls, and goes to sleep.

the person who finds her, actually, is ranboo - for someone so goddamn lanky they're not bad at finding their way around hadestown unnoticed, and they've heard about niki from techno and phil back in the pit. he's the one who wakes her up. niki is still despairing and angry when she wakes, and turns to go - but ranboo, hopefully, asks her if she's the person techno and phil told them about, if she is the crack in the wall.

and niki is furious and hurting, still, but she doesn't entirely have the stomach to leave when ranboo is staring at her like this -> 🥺

so she follows him as far as the fighter's pit. and passes more people who recognise her, and whisper, and stare - people who heard about her the same way ranboo did, or people who saw That Fucking Display on the railway. not only did she care for the strangers here, but she stood up to schlatt (emotionally and physically lol). not only was she brave, but she was kind, too. and when guards pass, people offer to hide her. and people wish her well on her journey.

she reunites with techno, and, god damn - look around. techno really does think that with the people behind them, with quackity behind them (he could recognise a god's handiwork anywhere, and niki's guitar is so obviously mended by godly hands), they might actually have a chance at tearing schlatt down long enough to escape to freedom. forever free from governments what have you. and niki is bitter about wilbur, but she is still twice as furious with schlatt - so sure. gather the people, free the end. beat him at his own game. they charge the centre of the city

meanwhile, quackity and schlatt are getting into an absolute shitfit about this whole thing. ohhhh you're betraying me for some stupid mortal country why don't you like MY country huh WELL maybe if you weren't so AWFUL TO ME i would LIKE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU etc etc etc. and quackity looks outside and he hears the distant sound of guitar and he's like oh. oh, shit. oh, thank god. they actually did it

while all this is happening, wilbur is continuing his no good very bad afterlife on the railway line, right in the centre of the city. wilbur is not really great with manual labour to begin with, if we're totally honest - he can build a house, or an office, but it's not how he likes to spend his time, and especially not in a place so grey and featureless and devoid of feeling or, well, life. and he's feeling quite horrible about the fact that not only do his friends mourn him, just as he hoped they might not, but niki came all the way down here for him. and she got hurt, because of him. it's a nightmare, but one in which he has signed over absolutely any power he had to affect the outcome.

phil finds him. security is getting kind of lax around hadestown. they talk about life, and death, and getting demoted from being the messenger between those two worlds because you got a bit too mouthy with the boss. it kind of puts things into perspective.

wilbur still doesn't regret sending niki away, because he knows he's trapped, but he regrets pretty much every other wasted second.

fortunately for him, niki is currently swept up in the crowd making its way straight to the heart of hadestown. techno is living up every second. oh, he has missed revolutionary action. techno is the righteous anger, ranboo is the soft-spoken follow-up, and niki is both. oh, wow, the four of them really make a charming matched set, don't they. almost like a syndicate okay i'm not gonna be coy look it's the syndicate

they make it to the heart. schlatt's really not happy. but man, he's in the mood to emotionally crush some hippies so - you want to sing and dance your way through my country? quackity sure thinks that little anthem you lot keep twittering on about is something special. so sing a song for me! make me laugh! make me WEEP! go on, if you think you're so special. sing it.

so niki sings the anthem.

okay. niki plays the anthem, and she sings it too, but she's one person and she hates this much scrutiny and her voice is failing even as she sings - and then, a voice pipes up from the crowd, someone who already knows all the words.

and wilbur sings it like he believes it, too. and in that moment, niki (tells herself) that she forgives every awful thing that happened between them since he took that train.

the melody is not hard to pick up. two voices become a dozen, become a hundred. (techno hums obligingly because okay, he doesn't love the symbol of the revolution being a country's anthem, but these things are kind of hard to change once they get rolling and he can sit most of these people down for a class on anarchism later - )

and schlatt gets emotional over this for three whole seconds. oh, three seconds is enough for wilbur and niki to reunite with more hugging and more tears and more apologies this time, and for quackity to reminisce about their pasts, and for him to think more about his country than he has in the last thousand years combined. and then he hates niki even more for it. oh, he respects the hustle. but also he despises the hustle.

so, fine: you want to get out of hadestown so badly, then? well. let's not make it easy for you. here is the age-old catch - wilbur can leave. but niki must walk ahead, and cannot look behind until the two of them have returned to the mortal world.

oh, he adds, and, wilbur - of course, if you change your mind, you're welcome back in hadestown. shit, you might have just earned yourself a promotion back here. if spring is coming again, i might just need someone to help lead down here.

and wilbur scoffs, as if i could ever do that!

and niki holds her breath beside him.

because leading hadestown - a domain over a country of citizens who cannot starve, and cannot die. without having to worry about mortal things ever again. isn't that exactly what wilbur would want? and he already left for less. he already left her for less.

so hadestown gathers. oh, yeah, they're coming too - they heard l'manberg's anthem, of course (or some of them heard techno's anarchist diatribes against governments and are quite excited to lead a life without rulers. it depends). there is niki, there is wilbur behind her, and she walks for a while and he walks for a while and they all walk for a while, and after that while niki calls out to him, but there is no response.

brief pandemonium.

schlatt's rigged it, you see - niki can't see wilbur. but now she can't hear him, either. can't let them go without one last trick. the crowd will have to guide her instead.

Niki takes a trembling step forward. "Got eyes on him, Niki," Techno calls from behind. A quiet laugh ripples through the crowd.

so they keep walking.

and walking...

and eventually, the crowd falls silent too. and doubt comes in.

it's been hours - beyond hours, beyond days - and niki hasn't heard a thing. there is no music, no bubbling of voices behind her, no shuffling of feet. for all she knows, wilbur turned back and left. for all she knows, everyone else gave up and followed him. why wouldn't they? they don't know where they're going. she barely knows where she's going. right back into the cold, and dark, right at the edge of winter - and who is she to lead them? niki isn't a god, or a muse's son, or a president or a tyrant - she's a baker, for gods' sake. her best friend died and her heart is still broken because of it. is that the kind of person who can lead a country's worth of people out of hadestown? it can't be. it can't be.

and none of that matters, because who cares who would and wouldn't follow her out of hadestown - wilbur wouldn't. he couldn't. he couldn't even follow her home when the alternative was literally dying. of course he would take up schlatt's offer. it's perfect for him. he already made his choice. he already chose his side. and he didn't choose her.

Niki staggers over the next crest, outlined in the bronze and gold of sunrise - painting a sharp, bright glow round every stray strand of hair, round the guitar scuffed and restrung across her back, round the shape of her trembling fists, pressing themselves tight against her sides. And she stops. "Does she look okay to you?" Technoblade mumbles, at Phil's shoulder. "It's a long walk," Phil responds. He is entirely too quiet for Wilbur's liking. Technoblade looks just as displeased with the answer as he is, and turns to Wilbur. "She normally good at walking?" She doesn't look well. She shakes - Niki, solid, steadfast in Wilbur's eye, never trembles. Her shoulders sink, and for a moment that rends his heart from his chest, Wilbur thinks she might be crying, and he's driving his nails into the flesh of his palms in matching fists before he can stop himself (because there is nothing he can do, silent, even if it's the exactly what Niki would scold him for). But all he hears are sharp, laboured breaths. Her boots rest at the edge of shadow. Niki stares down at them, edges blurring and warping, the sunlight crawling towards the tips of her toes - so, so close. She sang the song. Spring is almost here. She is almost home. But she can't bear walking home alone. Is he there? is all she can think. Is he - And she turns.

not to break the immersion, but - in hadestown, orpheus cannot bring himself to trust hades, and thus he turns. here is a bit different. niki doesn't trust schlatt, but she turns because she can't bring herself to trust wilbur anymore.

the crowd surges forward into the sunlight. surrounded by the flood of people, all niki can do is stare at wilbur - who, mere steps behind her, looks just as exhausted and filthy and heartbroken as she does.

and then he's gone.

-

i could never really decide how i wanted this fic to end.

the foundation is there. the people of hadestown swarm past niki, into the sunlight. quackity steps off the train. niki sinks to her knees, and phil puts a hand on her back, and techno and ranboo stand there hovering beside her because something really bad just happened and they don't know what to say.

tommy, tubbo, fundy and jack emerge from the ravine, shouting in glee as the crowd reveals itself as friend, not foe. tommy searches desperately for niki in the crowd. finally, he finds her, knelt on the ground. he knows before she turns to him, face streaked with tears. tubbo follows, and then shakes himself out of whatever grief-induced stupor his brain is trying to slip into - president of l'manberg, he turns to the nearest gangly teenager and starts ordering him around with piles of quilts for the country's newest residents. fundy and jack crowd around niki, and niki holds them as close as she can.

many ex-residents of hadestown settle into the ravine - the very one that niki spent hours carving rooms and gardens and homes into, in that slim space of time between losing l'manberg and losing wilbur. the others wander. i don't think niki stays. i think she fumbles around the ravine for a while, helping people settle in, but she doesn't feeling like she's really doing much. she's made a minister of the new government, but she can't bring herself to care.

i could never decide if i wanted l'manberg to go down with wilbur. it was already besieged enough without setting two godly anarchists (and their bffls) on it. and this time, i really do think niki would be the one to turn away. it wouldn't be surprising if it didn't survive another winter.

it feels a little cruel, but orpheus' story is cruel, too. do wilbur and niki meet decades later, in a peaceful afterlife? i don't know that either. i'll leave that part for you to figure out.

and here's a link to the fic if anyone missed it 🌹

[apatheticcrossovers]

Could you write biltzo x monika fic with fluff and little bit of angst?

(I hope this ship isn't in crack ship category)

Of course! And don't worry, when I say in my pinned that I won't do "Joke Ships" I mean like, ships that are overly memed on and stuff, and only done for laughs and stuff (I hope that makes sense, I'm not too good at explaining). I have some ships that would probably dip into crack ship territory tbh. - Mod Apathetic

All for You

Fandoms: Doki Doki Liturature Club, Helluva Boss Ship: Blitzo (Helluva Boss)/Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club) Characters: Blitzo (Helluva Boss), Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club) Tw: none Summary: Whenever Blitzo was in the human world on a job to kill someone, he'd occasionally get distracted whenever he saw a human game he was interested in. It wasn't easy to find human games in hell. Luckily, I seemed to have found one from the human world he could get in hell, and it was for free too! He didn't think he'd get this emotional playing it though...

"So, you're really just, stuck in there?" Blitzo looked at the computer screen, raising an eyebrow slightly. He had found this game called 'Doki Doki Literature Club' on his last trip to the human world. He's always down for some hot anime girls, so was excited when he found out he could get it for free in hell too. Then violent stuff started happening, and he got really excited. But now he was at the final act, with the antagonist character, Monika, who he's just now finding out is actually alive and sentient, and not just programmed to do bad things.

"I'm sorry Blitzo, but, there's not much I can do to get to your world..." She had a sad look on her face as her voice came out of the speaker to his old box computer. "Especially with this old hunk of junk you downloaded the game on!" She let out a small laugh, crossing her arms. Blitzo laughed as well, but still took offense to that.

"Hey, it's not my fault! Imps get no respect down here, it's easier for us to just die out than actually try and make a living!" Blitzo let out another loud laugh, but stopped when he realized that Monika, wasn't laugh, in fact, she didn't seem to find it funny at all. Her face was contorted into a frown as she looked at Blitzo through the screen, resting her arms on her desk.

"Blitzo, you don't... actually think that, do you?" She sounded concerned. Monika didn't really know anything about hell, she didn't have much of a concept of an afterlife for herself, sense she didn't even have a soul, but were Imps really treated that poorly down there? "You know Blitzo, You shouldn't talk like that..."

"What's wrong, I'm just speaking the truth, Imps are treated like nothing but a burden, the scum of hell, the lowest of the low." He was getting angry as he spoke, which only caused Monika to get more concerned. She may have not known Blitzo for long, but she did know she cared about him, that's for sure. "Besides, why do you even care?"

"I care because I love you Blitzo!" Monika leaned forward slightly, though it didn't bring her any closer to him physically, she still felt as if it would help. Blitzo stared for a moment, almost silent. No, no she couldn't love him, how could she ever someone like him?

"No, no you don't mean that Monika..." Blitzo said, leaning away from the computer slightly. Monika so desperately wanted to reach out to him, let him know that she did truly care, that everything would be ok.

"Blitzo... why else do you think I did all of this?" Monika was deadpan as she spoke, resting in her seat again as she looked out at Blitzo. "I destroyed my game, I hurt my friends and the people I care about because... I wanted to be with you Blitzo..." Monika felt guilty as she spoke. She had regretted everything she had done, to her friends, to her game, everything. "I hate myself for everything I've done, but... I had no other option, the game wouldn't give me a route so... I made my own.."

Bitzo was silent as he stared at the screen, trying to find the words to say what he was thinking. He had completely forgotten that everything in the game was her doing, and he hadn't even realized that she did it all in order to be with him. No one had ever really done something so drastic before, it was hard to believe that she was willing to practically ruin her 'life' just for him.

"You, really ruined your life, for me?" Blitzo's voice was quite and nervous, as if still cautious about Monika's true intentions with him. He could actually have a relationship with her, right? He technically wasn't real, and they couldn't actually show affection to each other outside of maybe verbal affection, which Blitzo still wasn't entirely used to. "You, you didn't have to do that you know... I mean, you barely even know me..."

"But, I did Blitzo... I couldn't risk losing you... you mean so much to me..." Monika sounded sad as she spoke, she even looked like she was holding back tears, sucking in a breath as she tried to keep her composure. "I know enough about you to know that I love you, so... please..."

Blitzo was silent for another moment, feeling his heart skip a beat as he looked at Monika. Is this what true, unconditional love was like? It felt, wonderful, fantastic even. Blitzo finally smiled at Monika, reached his hand to the screen, and caressed it slightly, as if trying to why away her tears. "Thanks, Monika... really..." His voice was softer now, letting out a soft sigh as he did. Monika smiled, feeling ever so slightly comforted by his attempt as wiping away her tears. "I promise, I'll find a way to get you out of there, even if it's the last thing I do..."

Monika could help but smile at his words, her face softening as she looked at him. "Thank you, Blitzo... I really do love you..."

"I..." Blitzo hesitated slightly, he had never said the words before, swallowing slightly before finally speaking. "I love you too, Monika..."

[myhiraeth]

seudxnimx​:

myhiraeth​:

@seudxnimx​ ​:

He knows Styxx well enough to see that glint of pleased and he’s not annoyed by it, in fact he’d be hurt at a different level if a more disappointed look was given his way. He doesn’t stop him from touching his side, well aware it could be much worse and he figures Styxx knows that much as well or his reaction might have been something more if Seth’s life was actually at risk.

A quick tick of his head as to say no, his side was the worst of it. Scrapes and bruises were an add on of the fight but definitely the least of his concern. When Styxx speaks again Seth isn’t sure what to make of the tone, his hearing far too good and able to pick up on inflections in voices and this one was new. It takes seconds of Styxx speaking to have Seth soften up, almost feel defeated. It’s easy to forget how much longer Styxx has been around and how much Seth doesn’t know still. He’s sure that his family isn’t pack like - close or not still a connection type of thing as he listens, it doesn’t matter though. His stomach feels like he’s swallowed rocks and his throat is tight, he can’t look anywhere else but at the man telling him a parallel of what Seth might be feeling but time ten. Brown eyes glossy as they well with tears, he has nothing to butt in about and simply listens to the familiarity in it. He wonders if Styxx attacked the goddess almost hoping he’d die next - because Seth can easily say it’s a reason he’s attacked a whole pack on his own.

Grief. Not a word the pack uses often, not that he’s part of it anymore but none of them seem as effected as Seth was. Leah wasn’t easy to be around, she was cold and calloused - but she cared, so deeply and she… died to keep those she loved safe. And he knows she’d do it again if she was still here. He’s quiet when he looks at Styxx, the tears right at the edge making his vision blurry. All it takes is a quick shake if his head for a choked sob to break free, “How do you do it…” a rhetorical question of the other wants it to be, the breath he has to take from the sob he let out causes a sharp pain in his side and he growls deep in his chest at the anger that’s set in with their grief as tears roll down his cheeks. He wants it to stop. All of it. He doesn’t want to feel this anymore, he doesn’t know how anyone can live with this empty feeling he has from where the love he has for his family, his pack and his sister used to be. The ribs are only a sliver of the pain and he can’t imagine how Styxx has done it, has made it this far with his kind of loss. The ache isn’t even just for his sister at the moment but for Styxx, someone he does still deeply care about and love.

Seth is silent as Styxx recounts two of the worst displays of his temper, a temper he prides himself on keeping carefully leashed at all times lest he turn out like the his father, or his brother... or his uncle, sister, mother... there was a lot of anger in his genes and while he prefers others not to have more reason to loathe and fear him, he's willing to share if it helps Seth feel less alone in his grief.

His heart aches as Seth tries to keep himself from letting loose his angry, mournful tears, but when he speaks they break free. Styxx lays a hand on the boy's shoulder.        "You just do."       He says, the words not meant to insult Seth's rhetoric.       "You pick yourself up and you keep going because the alternative is to lie down and give up."        Not that Styxx hadn't tried it once or twice (or a dozen times), but while angry, hurt, grieving- Seth doesn't seem the type to give up on living.        "Maybe because it's what she would want for you. Maybe to spite others who want you to quit. Maybe because it's all you know how to do."      He shrugs helplessly, resignedly.      "The reasons differ, but for lack of throwing yourself to the afterlife, the end result is the same: you just do."

He ruffles Seth's hair lightly.          "Though at the rate you're going I fear you're running headlong into the afterlife after all."         Its meant only partially as a joke, his voice light but his sky blue eyes serious.   "Be careful, adelphos. There are still living beings who care about you and would prefer you here with us."     Me, his expression says. *I* care about you. *I* want you to live.

[web-spinning]

Mercs with an s/o who's an angel? if not all of them, then just sniper is fine. :"D

A / N- This one was tough. I had a hard time imagining how it would work, but then I remembered that Merasmus exists, and my day was easier :b Made this as headcanons, hope you like it.

P.S- This is the last request I had this week, and they're still open.

TW. light smoking mention.

Scout 

- he already thinks he's a gift to humanity, so being with an angel? That bursts his ego up even further, 

- he makes jokes about it. Very cheesy kind of jokes, 

- " Hey, did you fall from Heaven? 'Cause you look like an angel" 

" Scout, we talked about this ", 

- however, he is still very happy to have you around, it makes him feel special, 

- asks you about the afterlife, but will understand if it makes you uncomfortable, 

Soldier 

- he doesn't mind. I mean, he already had a wizard roommate,

- but he's very jealous of your wings, he wants ones too, 

- when he's feeling down, you use some extra strength to give him a short fly in your arms. It's usually short, because he's not the smallest, but it's worth it every time, 

Pyro 

- in their Pyrovision, they would see you as an angel anyway, so doesn't change much for them, 

- still, they will do everything to not accidentally set your wings on fire, 

- due to your supernatural setting, you're one of the few people that can actually understand them, 

- this firebug ain't afraid of anything, but is still very anxious to ask about your " powers ", in fact they don't even know if you have any, 

Demoman 

- when he first saw you, he genuinely thought his liver stopped working and he died, 

- but other than that little accident, Tavish is a sweetheart, 

- he is a bit overprotective, and will make sure you don't get into the mercenary business, 

- let's just hope you don't want to meet his mother, 

- " momma always told ya there's an angel watchin' over ya ", 

- Eyelander likes you too, 

Heavy  

- Mikhail might seem tough outside, but is actually pretty worned up from all the fights, 

- you are like his last hope. Much like Scout, the fact that he got a literal angel in love with him makes him feel special, 

- he spends most of his free time making up angel related pet names, 

Engineer

- get ready to help him with his projects, 

- he needs to know how his teleporters affect supernatural beings ( he wants to know if you will or won't have tumors ), 

- other than that, Dell will gladly use his handiness to help you with everyday things that seem easy for humans, 

- after hard day at work, he gladly flops into the embrace of your wings and refuses to move from there, 

Medic

- let's just hope you don't being experimented on...in the name of science! 

- seriously, he is very, very curious about the whole angel thing, and he wants to know how exactly it works, 

- you're the only person that actually is capable to remember all of his dove's names, 

- he will compare you to said doves, especially the wings, 

Sniper

- this man feels miserable for you. Really, you are a cosmic being, and he lives in a van, 

- but with some reassurance, he understands that you really don't regret being with him, 

- much like Engie, he will flop into your wings after a hard day, 

- the difference being he loves touching them, they're very fluffy, 

- he will run his hands through them to calm down, 

Spy

- he loves to compare you to historical art of angels, in fact he would even commission one piece just for you,

- he trusts you with his real identity, more than he would trust another human,

- maybe secretly tries not to smoke as much around you, to not " ruin your purity ",

- if a feather falls from your wing, he will keep it in his Spytron.

[shushiyuii]

if you're doing requests, than can I possibly ask for some G!revivebur and t!tommy hurt/comfort? (with soft noms involved if thats okay)

hope you're doing well today and i love your writing too

Thank you so much! I'm glad you love my writings! mwkdakdn and I've actually had a great day today! So thank you for asking! (Also of course noms are okay uwu)

Warnings: Soft vore, mentions of death and torment of a tiny

Words: 1.1K+

His train had finally arrived…

Meanwhile, Tommy was working on his base, being a borrower, it wasn’t quite as easy as you wish to get the materials needed.

He was exhausted from mining all day and now he just had to organise his chests, which was just another annoying task. Tommy huffed in annoyance at this, at least he had enough minerals to last him ages.

He hated organising his chests but if he did it would at least be easier to find things, as to why he was doing this millennial task.

Chest after chest, block after block, ore after ore. It was finally almost done. Just a couple more to go, he went over to another chest and found some… interesting things… It held his old L’manburg uniform and his flag, things he put away after Wilbur had well, died.

He picked up his old uniform and noticed something strange on it, it was stained with blue, covered in stitches. Alarmed he began to examine the uniform and there fell out a note, from Ghostbur.

“Hey, Tommy! I came to borrow some things and noticed your old uniform! I fixed it up for you! I know you said not to go through your stuff, but I figured you’d like it!” – Ghostbur

He huffed as the note itself was covered in blue, Ghostbur had a tendency of leaking his blue everywhere, It couldn’t be helped…’. He looked down and saw water beginning to seep at the pages, he wiped at his eyes.

He wasn’t going to cry! He was Tommy Danger Kraken Innit! A man! And men don’t cry!

It wasn’t his fault! It was Sam’s! He didn’t let him protect Ghostbur! It could’ve been stopped and now the only remnant of his brother is gone.

Gone to the afterlife, once and for all. Maybe his symphony could finally be at peace with everything being gone now, he could move on…

Little did he know that wouldn’t quite be the case as a thing popped right into his face, much to his hate and surprise…

‘Wilbur Soot has joined the game’.

He couldn’t be back, Dream really didn’t revive him right?! Wasn’t revival supposed to be immediate?! Whatever exhaustion was trying to take over his body was gone as adrenaline pumped through his veins. He immediately booked it through his door towards L’manburg.

His vision went from black to clear, he fiddled with his hands, finally becoming aware of his surroundings, the blue and gold catching his eyes with a torn L’manburg flag, with the crater in front of him. He pinched his arm to make sure he wasn’t going crazy, and he wasn’t!

He was alive again with blood rushing through his newly revived veins! He was alive again! Dream his hero! He had really been brought back! He could feel his excitement jolting every part of his body, so many things to do and see, so many things to make amends for!...

Panic filled with thoughts rushed through his head, what would the others think? Oh god, back when he was dead himself, he remembered how Wilbur was… This is practically going to be doomsday all over again if he didn’t stop it.

He had never run so fast before, not even in the war. It seemed his body agreed with him this once that this was very very bad. And it wasn’t going to be an easy trip for the borrower. Every hole he jumped over, and soon L’manburg came into his view.

His fingers twitched, not used to being able to function. He could feel bruises over his body and particularly felt an aching pain from his chest, probably some remnant from the stab wound, but that wasn’t going to stop him out, now that he was finally free.

He breathed in the fresh air, taking a deep breath, and filling his lungs as much as he could. How he missed being able, you learnt to appreciate such things.

He closed his eyes in a sort of relief, happy, satisfied but this was only the beginning.

“Wilbur!”, he heard a voice, a familiar one. One he hadn’t heard in a while; he knew he was close not far. He was used to having to keep an ear out for the borrower, he was just surprised at himself he wasn’t rusty.

He turned around to see a small figure approaching, seeming to run with all they had, wow, Tommy must’ve really missed him!

Soon, Tommy was just a couple of meters away from Wilbur. Not one of them talked at first, “Hey Tommy! I missed you!”. Tommy’s expression turned somewhat dark, upset, grim. He titled his head in confusion and crouched down as much as he could.

“You shouldn’t be here.”, Wilbur snorted slightly, then turned to giggles and those giggles turned to psychotic laughter as he processed the point that Tommy just brought up, he wasn’t supposed to be here? “I’m not supposed to be here Tommy? What about you?”.

No answer came, he laughed again, “Oh, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.”. He brought a finger to Tommy’s face, gently squishing it. “Listen, I spent 13 and a half, 13 and a half years! IN THAT GOD DAMN HELL!”. The gentleness faded as he increased pressure on Tommy, causing Tommy to fall over from under the pressure and try to fight back.

The pressure lightened as he removed his hand, he was about to speak when he saw Tommy back away from him, he was confused for a minute.

But whatever it was, Tommy was mumbling and crying, flinching whenever he made a small movement. Usually, Tommy would be fighting back right now?

He put any other thoughts he had aside, “Tommy, what’s wrong?”. Sure, he might be cruel sometimes but that never stopped his older brother instincts. The boy cried louder. He cupped the boy into his hands and brought him closer to his face.

“Tommy, I’m here, what’s wrong?”, “I-, You-, Dream-, Can’t, S-scared”. He hushed the boy and nuzzled him, he flinched at first but soon reluctantly gave into the contact. It was clear to him that Tommy had changed drastically, more than he thought, he was traumatised. Who dared to hurt his little brother?

“Tommy, who?”, “Huh?”, “Who did it?”. He sniffled, “D-dream”. His eyes widened suddenly, a vision flashed of a tiny Tommy caught in an explosion, a memory from Ghostbur. He remained silent.

Without a word, he brought Tommy close to his mouth, gently placing him in. Tommy flinched as he was placed on his brother’s tongue, “W-Wil?”, “You’re safe”. He mumbled as he moved his tongue to coat Tommy, which then lead to tilting his head back and swallowing.

He traced his brother's descent with his finger, and soon felt him land in his stomach, he waited for his little brother to get tucked in and fall asleep, to which he did. Then he decided that he’d keep Tommy in there for a while, where he’d be safe.

[kingdom-of-kins]

Hallo! It’s good to see you again. I do paint, hypothetically! You’re right about the time thing haha. It’s been a while since I’ve really painted, art can be hard sometimes and it’s mostly for fun. I have a love hate relationship with my chosen medium sometimes: I hate to draw landscapes and free handing them is messy. But on the other hand…. My favorite thing to paint is the night sky. It’s an interesting combination to say the least. But man if some of the things people build aren’t stunning and make me itch to grab my paints.

We’ve been watching some more of the afterlife stuff. It’s been proving hilarious so far- and even though we know it isn’t really a continuation of empires we might’ve been emotional over something sausage did in his recent episode. Pearls finale in empires was heart wrenching for us, and the quiet little nod to her in the Church of Saint Pearl was just. He surrounded the church with sunflowers too.

It’s snowing outside again, and Ethos tempted to make it snow inside again because someone remembered that one fun fact about how you can make ice cream out of clean freshly fallen snow.

Hermits are insane as always. What are some of the things you’re enjoying lately? Be it with the new season or in general. I hope things are sunny for you as well -🐉

o// hi again!!

yeah, i gotta agree: art, while smth i try to do often, takes more energy then i'd like to admit. ive done a few night sky paintings myself!! im not all that good at it but it is sure fun :] AND so true, i get rlly inspired by other peoples works in different mediums all the time but its so hard to transfer them to my main medium (digital art) while still keeping the vibe i was going for.

i never actually ended up watching empires tbh! i might, now that its done, but that type of series has never really been my thing unless im hyperfixated on someone whos part of it lol. im glad to hear that afterlife is seeming cool so far!! hope you're having fun with that :]

the weather where ive been has been very swingy lately, so i kinda get that. far too many storms if you ask me. but snow ice cream... thats a thought. whats your favourite flavor of ice cream, actually? just out of curiousity. mines probably strawberry or peach, im a sucker for fruit flavors

ive mostly been getting into non-mcyt series, but ive really been enjoying slimecicles videos :] im still partway through the recent scu upload but ive been rlly enjoying it so far!

best of wishes to you :]

[yourlocalcatholic]

You're not a good person; being catholic means anything good you do is rooted in selfishness, wanting to go to heaven, afraid of what some made up being will do after you die. You don't do the right thing because it's the right thing. You do them because you're afraid of what will happen to you if you don't. And on top of that, you practice an outdated, misogynistic, close-minded religion. The world changes, and you're either too stubborn, selfish, or stupid to change with it.

“But take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father. When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you” (Matthew 6:1-4).

I assure you, if anything I did was rooted in selfishness, God would surely judge me for it. 

Why am I Catholic? Not because I fear damnation, but because I truly and genuinely love God. I wasn’t always Christian, nor did my parents raise me under any sort of religion. I pursue God because he is the truth, because he is deserving of praise and honor, and it is my life’s purpose to worship him. I do not follow him because I am afraid of the afterlife. In fact, I am not afraid of the afterlife at all. 

As I stated before, I was not always Christian. I used to do things that I believed were the right thing, but upon converting to Catholicism, I realized they were not. I supported ideas that led myself and others away from God, and for that I am sorry. Additionally, I do not do the things I do now because I am afraid of hell, I do them because they glorify God. I try my best to emulate the fruits of his spirit in all that I do. I am not a good person; I am a sinner. I am sure we both know that being Christian does not inherently mean you are a good person. I do not try to be a good person to get a “get out of hell free ticket”. I try to be good because I love. 

Also - I am a woman. While I struggled with how Catholic’s approach femininity when I started my conversion, I understand it now. Catholicism is not misogynist. Indeed, men and women have different roles in the Church, but they are both equally important and they complement each other. 

Furthermore, Catholicism is not “close-minded.” One of the reasons Jesus came was to establish the Church, and he gave very clear and concise directions on how to do so. Why would we deviate from this? 

A lot of people are turned off by the “closed-mindedness” of Church, if you want to call it that. But let me let you in on a little secret... that’s the point! Christianity is not supposed to make you feel all comfy and cozy in your sin. We all come to the Church from different backgrounds, and in order to become enveloped in her embrace, we must tussle with the things we are most attached to that are rooted in our sinful nature. For me, I struggled with sex. I still struggle with sex. I used to be pro-choice, pro-contraception, pro sex before marriage, pro-masturbation, etc. These were very difficult for me to let go, but I kept an open heart and I allowed God to move me. I did the research necessary, and I found that what I once supported was wrong and did not glorify God. What I once believed “didn’t harm anyone,” in reality was extremely damaging. 

Another secret that really isn’t a secret - I’m bisexual. So, you can imagine how it is for someone who has struggled with their sexuality to stand among people who you aren’t sure would welcome you if they knew the truth. But I learned what the Bible and the Church say about homosexuality, and I know that I am not automatically damned, but instead what I choose to do with my sexuality determines my closeness with God. Like everyone else, I must choose whether or not I will indulge my sinful nature and separate from God, or surrender my cross to him. 

And finally, yes, the world is changing, but God doesn’t. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). Before my conversion, I would be what is considered liberal or progressive. I thought very similarly to you - I didn’t understand tradition, I didn’t understand why people couldn’t just get with the times, and I didn’t understand why religious people (namely, Christians) had to let their religion dictate their politics. But all this lack of understanding was simply ignorance. There was a lot I did not know, but I kept my heart open to the truth and I found it. Tradition, I quickly discovered, wasn’t actually bad. 

I have a feeling you may have been hurt by the Church or by religious people. If this is true, and if you ever want to talk about it, my DMs are open. Bless you and I hope you have a wonderful evening. 

[ilosttrackofthings]

If you're still taking sunday six prompts, how about 'floor' of February 22, 2018 or 'home' or 'broken' of January 21, 2018.

Good news: I actually managed to get ‘home’ going again and have what should be part one of two finished so yay!

Bad news: I think ‘broken’ was a little too ambitious so here’s what I did manage to write, along with some explanations/headcanons. (Also this is unedited so don’t judge me for stuff I’d clean up if I ever posted this for real.)

Once, after aparticularly successful mission in the Bahamas, the team spent a dayon the beach, soaking up the sun and enjoying the ocean breeze. Afterlunch, their bellies too full of food to go out into the water, Jemmaand Skye sat at its edge, near enough the surf would wash over theirlegs and around their hips. When it rolled back out, it sucked thesand from beneath them and they laughed like children every time.

That’s what thisfeels like. The monolith is the ocean, vast and unforgiving, andJemma herself is the sand, torn away from the shore no matter how shestruggles to hold on.

She’s senttwisting and turning, caught in a riptide, and when she’sthrown—gasping and aching—onto dry land, it isn’t the solidfloor of Vault E. Not that she cares about the dirt beyond that itgives when her fingers dig into it and absorbs the sounds of heragonized screams.

.

.

Pain—real,physical pain—cuts through her skull. Sunlight breaks through herfluttering eyelids, curling and twisting around her eyelashes, makingstrange patterns in the air, obscuring the faces of those around her.

Orperhaps that’s the head wound.

Handscarry her and more reach out to touch her as she passes by. Too hard,too soft. Too hot, too cold. They’re all wrong. All completelywrong. None are what she needs.

It’sthe soulbond.

Sherealizes it with a clarity that only increases the pain. The bond hasbeen severed, that’s the pain she’s feeling.

Butit can’t be like this. Millions of people outlive their soulmatesand it hurts, yes, but how can they go on if the pain is always thismuch? If Fitz is really dead-

(Oryou are, a cruel little voice inher head says. She’s the one who was swallowed by the monolith.She’s the one who disappeared. Perhaps this is the afterlife.)

-howis she meant to go on living for another fifty years or even fiftyminutes with pain like this?

Thehands holding her lose their grip on her head. It’s too heavy forher to lift on her own and it pulls her neck to a sharp angle,aggravating the blow she took earlier.

Shesinks gratefully into unconsciousness.

.

.

(She comes to himcrying, so overwhelmed by her suffering that even in sleep her tearsfall. His worshipers lay her at his feet and scamper away. What is tocome is not for them to see.

Hereaches out to her, lets his power fall on her that she might befreed of her pain. The thread of connection he anticipates does notform. Rather, he feels a sharp tug that nearly knocks him off hisfeet and the lingering ache—the one he has suffered for generationson end and has learned to pretend he does not feel—is suddenlygone.

Hebreathes, for the first time in a literal age, easily.

Hisknees hit the stone floor beside her and he pulls her to him, feelsher skin, her hair, the beat of her heart in her breast. He presseshis face to her neck, takes in the scent of her. He remembers this,the sense of completion long since lost.

Hertears have stopped falling and though she sleeps on, she turns intohis every touch, deepening the closeness. She is his. For always thistime.)

.

.

Atinkling like wind chimes eases her awakeand when she opens her eyes she sees rainbows dancing where the lightfrom an open window falls on a wall.There’s no sudden spike of the ache that’s been sitting in herbones for days or theemptiness so deep she fearedit might drown her. There is, however, a slight twinge at the base ofher skull that eases when strong fingers slide gently over it.

“You’reall right now,” a voice says. Or … doesn’t. She recognizes thewords, but she doesn’t hear any sound.

Shetwists, finds herself in the lap of a man she’s never seen before.Her heart pounds. Though not from fear.

“Whathappened?” she asks.

Helooks human enough but as she was able to determine, between bouts ofunbearable agony, that this cannot possibly be Earth, he might aslikely be a member of one of the many races Sif claimed are similarenough to pass for human. As if to prove her right, hetips his head to one side like a bird consideringa scrap of food it’s never seen before. “You don’t know,” hesays, but his mouth doesn’t move at all.

Itisn’t a question, but she shakes her head anyway, using the motionto turn more fully onto her back. She’s on stone, but the lap she’sresting on is plenty comfortable.

She’sconscious of her precarious position—of how intimately she’slying against him and how casually he draws his fingers through herhair even now she’s awake (she’s glad for that though, it feelswonderful)—but can’t find it in her to pull away. Perhaps she’sbeen drugged.

Hiseyes narrow in confusion, which he shakes off swiftly. “You areaware your soulbond was severed?” he asks, still without moving hislips. The words are in her head, some sort of telepathy which bringswith them a sense of unease and caution.

Thequestion reminds her of Fitz and of the gaping hole left where herbond to him used to be. Guilt washes over her and that, finally, hasher sitting up.

Thestone they’re on turns out to be a bench and she slides her legsover the side so that she and the man face opposite directions. Theposition allows her to somewhat face him, but she focuses on the viewout the window. It, like the bench, is stone with no glass save thedecorative pieces hanging from narrow strings. The jungle—sheimagines the same one she’s been struggling to survive in while hersoul felt like it was dying—is beneath them, stretching out like agreen carpet until it disappears in distant clouds and fog.

Shecan feel the man’s eyes on her as well as the lingering buzz of histouch on her skin and shifts slightly away. She’s always felt alittle guilty with other men even though her bond with Fitz is purelyplatonic, but ever since he confessed his own belief that it wasromantic instead… She could barely hug Trip after he rescuedher from Hydra, for heaven’s sake! Lying in the lap of a completestranger is far more than she’s done in the past year, and knowingshe’s done it while Fitz is surely suffering as deeply as she is?

Was,she realizes with a jolt. There’s a lingering tenderness when shefocuses on the bond, but no pain at all anymore.

She’snever heard of anything like this—of course she also hasn’t heardof many people separated from their soulmates by light years; perhapsthe bond simply needed time to adjust to the distance.

“Youdo not need to explain,” the man beside her says. His eyes arefixed ahead on the lights on the wall. “But you must know that myown bond was severed as well. She … feared me.”

Amillion questions buzz through her head. The bond can be severed? Wasshe brought to him because of his familiarity with the subject? Doesthat mean her bond with Fitz hasn’t adjusted at all and he’s onlyeased the pain of its loss somehow?

Butwhat she says is only, “I’m sorry.” She touches his arm andfeels a vibration down to her toes. Her breath catches and it takesmore concentrated effort than she expects to pull her hand away.

Hewatches her, eyes oddly predatory. Prudence urges her to ask whyhis soulmate feared him, but curiosity sends her another direction.

“Whatdo you mean when you say it’s been severed?” She focuses on itagain, feeling the familiar warmth. It’s there, exactly as itshould be. She must have been right and the bond only required sometime to adjust to the distance. But if that’s the case, shouldn’tshe be able to feel the distance between herself and Fitz?And-

It’snot so familiar anymore. Her bond with Fitz was like walking into awarm house at the end of a long winter day. But now the bond is warmlike a crackling fire, eating up wood and gas and whatever else fallsin its reach. She’d almost think her soul’s caught a fever.

Theman drags in a deep breath, his eyes fluttering in pleasure.

Asuspicion takes root in Jemma’s mind and she struggles to push itaway while he brings himself out of whatever that was.

“Mysoulmate turned to dark magicks. She was willing to damage her ownsoul in order to see me cut from it. Though I cannot imagine anyonegoing to such lengths to be free of you-” he reaches for her andshe wants to pull away—she does—but she can’t seem tobring herself to move- “I assumed your soulmate had done the same.”

Sheshakes her head furiously and his hand falls from her hair. “No.No, that’s not what happened. He wouldn’t-” She knows Fitz hasbeen frustrated with her, but he would never break the bond. It’snot even possible. Is it?

“Itwas the monolith,” she says firmly. “It dragged me away.”

“Monolith,”he echoes and she feels a sharp something in her skull before hisexpression clears. “In the temple.”

“Yes!”It was all carved stone like this place—but much dirtier; no onehad been there in ages—and she spent what felt like days by theside of the monolith’s twin, hoping it would take her back, beforehunger drove her to find her way out and into the surrounding jungle.

“Atoy the Kree left behind,” he says, the words in her head vibratingwith barely leashed disgust.

“TheKree?”

Henods. “They changed me, turned me into one of their weapons. Thatis why my soulmate feared me. But I would not have harmed her and Iwill not harm you. I want only to help my people.”

Shebarely hears the second half of his statement, too distracted by thefirst. “But the Kree stopped experimenting on less advanced racesages … a … go.”

Shelooks around again, taking in the primitive stone architecture, theuntamed wilderness outside, the human-looking man beside her. Whatare the odds that the Kree would pick another species so physicallysimilar to human beings? As a scientist she can reason that theymight have hoped to repeat their successes by starting with similarbase genetics, but that thought does little to stop the fear mountingin her chest as pieces slot into place.

“I’mon Earth,” she says. There’s no way to test her theory, no way toprove it’s true, but she knows it is when she says the words. Theman’s hand rests on her back, giving her support. “I never left.That’s why the bond broke, because Fitz-”

Fitzdoesn’t exist. Not even in some theoretical afterlife. He won’texist for several thousand years.

“Iam sorry.” There’s so much sympathy on the man’s face, so muchcompassion, that she allows herself to fall into his arms.

.

.

After recovering from the shock of what’s happened, Jemma eventually gets around to asking Hive all her questions and he explains that, since neither of them has a soulbond of their own, they bonded naturally when they came into contact with one another. She spends a lot of time considering how different this new bond is from her first and also coming to terms with this new world she’s found herself in. She’s not sure how she feels about Hive’s position but ultimately comes around and accepts what is definitely not a platonic bond for what it is.

Then I had some vague thoughts that, with Jemma by his side, fear of Hive would increase because now there’s the potential for a dynasty (whereas before any dissenters could simply hope to kill him alone and be done with the whole mess). So the two of them would find a way back to the future where they’d learn what became of poor Fitz.

It’s possible to survive the severing of a bond, but not easy, spiritually or physically. Hive honestly only survived as long as he did because of his powers. Fitz struggles for a while but once the ATCU shows up on the scene and they learn about the stasis pods, he starts going into one for long stretches, only being revived when the team truly needs him. This leads the team to branching out and bringing in more scientists, including Radcliffe.

Ultimately Radcliffe still builds Aida a body and the Darkhold happens and wouldn’t you know it, when Fitz is revived to help deal with the Russian’s army of robotic copies, he bonds with the newly (In)human Aida.

So everyone is happy and bonded. The end.

[patternsintraffic]

My 100 Favorite Albums of the 2000s: #100-#91

Hi all. As you can tell from the title of this blog post, I am about to take you off on quite a tangent. Music is in the works (both the completion of Lights & Reflections and the first full-length Harsh Lights album), but currently I find myself sitting up into the early morning hours with a newborn while my wife tries to get some uninterrupted sleep. So I am taking the opportunity to finally post this ridiculously long-winded writing project that I embarked on last year. The actual list-making and blurb-penning has been done for many months now, but I never took the time to format and post it. So here I am with some free time, getting around to finishing this undertaking!

As you may have seen, I decided to join in the fun at the turn of the decade and make a list of my favorite albums from 2010-2019. I wrote about my top 20 albums of the decade, and had a blast revisiting those records and sharing a little bit about why they are special to me. However, the most surprising part of the process for me was that choosing 20 albums to represent that ten-year period was...pretty easy? I started my career in late 2009, so the entire past decade I've been working full-time, pursuing my own music in my spare time, and more or less adulting. I've definitely listened to a ton of great albums, but it's hard to find music that truly excites you as an adult the way that it did in your formative years. The whole time I was crafting my list, I was thinking about how much more difficult (and rewarding) a task it would have been to compile a list for the previous decade, spanning 2000-2009.

So of course, not long after posting my 2010-2019 list I got to work compiling my favorite albums of the aughts. That 10-year period starts when I was 12 years old and wraps up as I was starting my post-college career. Pretty much my entire journey of musical discovery and growth occurred during those years. I had little in the way of responsibilities, and for most of the decade I ravenously consumed an absolutely enormous amount of music. Multiple hours worth on an average day. I was still buying physical CDs all throughout those years, so I really focused on each album I purchased, giving them many repeat listens and learning them intimately. And so much of what I heard was new and fresh to my ears. At 12 years old, there were so many sounds and styles of music that I had yet to encounter, and all of those first experiences and coming of age moments left lasting impressions.

Suffice to say, putting together a top 20 list of albums to represent that 10-year period was nearly impossible. I knew I would have to make a larger list to feel like I was doing justice to even a fraction of the albums that impacted me in that decade. What I eventually arrived upon after making an initial list of albums and then cutting it down quite a bit...was 100. Yes, I'm going to write about my favorite 100 albums from 2000-2009. And I'm going to have a damn good time doing it. Most of my favorite albums ever will be contained in this list, and most of them are wildly underappreciated, in my opinion. For the sake of keeping each post to a manageable length, I will be posting 10 albums at a time, starting with numbers 100-91 below. Walk with me down memory lane in countdown form, and I hope you can enjoy me waxing poetic about 100 albums that were staples of my young life. Let's get nostalgic.

100. Paris Texas - Like You Like an Arsonist (2004)

There are hundreds of albums that I could have picked to round out my list here in the final spot, but I wanted to shine a light on this poppy punk rock record from 2004. It doesn't do anything particularly groundbreaking, but it's a really fun take on the genre and it didn't get the recognition that it deserved. "Bombs Away" and the title track are absolute barnburners. What a shame that the band broke up shortly after this album was released. I remember reading a review of Like You Like an Arsonist around the time of its release that criticized it for sounding like a collection of songs that could blend seamlessly into the soundtrack of a blockbuster action movie. Looking back, I agree with the reviewer's assessment, but I see it as high praise.

99. Greenwheel - Soma Holiday (2002)

In 2002, you could throw a shoe and hit a band that sounded much like Greenwheel, a radio-ready alternative rock outfit with some heavy riffs and a throaty lead singer. But these guys stood above many of their contemporaries on Soma Holiday, their only major label release. (Their independent EP Bridges for Burning and never-released second full-length Electric Blanket both hinted at a sustainable career that didn't come to fruition.) This album had enough muscle for the rock kids ("Shelter" and "Strong") and enough sweetness for the emo kids ("Dim Halo" and "Breathe," which was later recorded and popularized by Melissa Etheridge). What could have been.

98. Sleeping at Last - Ghosts (2003)

It's been almost 10 years since Sleeping at Last became a solo project for Ryan O'Neal, releasing themed singles that make up overarching concept albums and EPs. Though the output from the current incarnation of the band is beautiful and soothing, the minimalist and orchestral style is a far cry from Ghosts, Sleeping at Last's one major label album. At the time they were a three-piece featuring guitars, bass, and drums alongside O'Neal's piano and distinct vocals. Ghosts features an uncommon blend of cinematic, ethereal, and earnest indie rock that just seemed to go deeper than its peers in 2003.

97. Taking Back Sunday - Where You Want to Be (2004)

I've never been a huge fan of Taking Back Sunday, though of course I rocked the singles from Tell All Your Friends like any self-respecting high-schooler in 2002. It was the follow-up, 2004's Where You Want to Be, that really got its claws in me after I picked it up on release week. With a killer opening trio of "Set Phasers to Stun," "Bonus Mosh Pt. II," and "A Decade Under the Influence" giving way to ballads like "New American Classic" and "...Slowdance on the Inside," this is just a great rock record.

96. Sherwood - A Different Light (2007)

A Different Light is a bright, summery, buoyant pop album full of smooth vocal harmonies, glistening guitars, and shimmering synths. Sure, the lyrical content isn't all rainbows and butterflies, but if you could capture the sound of pure positivity and optimism, it would sound a lot like this record. Between the singalong melodies, handclaps, and "whoa-oh"s, if you don't have a good time listening to A Different Light then music might not be the right medium for you.

95. Young Love - Too Young to Fight It (2007)

I'm fairly certain that Young Love, the dance-rock side project of beloved post-hardcore band Recover's frontman Dan Keyes, was not at all well-received. But for someone with no preconceived notions or attachments to Keyes' previous work, I thought this album was a hell of a lot of fun. In a world where Young Love made a mainstream impact, alternate-universe Kyle can be seen storming the dancefloor to the title track or "Discotech." Too Young to Fight It also gives us the smooth R&B of "Tell Me," the indie rock of "Take It or Leave It," and the experimental and apocalyptic "Tragedy." This is so much more than a dance album, and if it hadn't been released by a musician with strong ties to the hardcore scene it would have had a fighting chance of being recognized as such.

94. Vendetta Red - Sisters of the Red Death (2005)

Vendetta Red frontman Zach Davidson has one of the most dynamic hard rock voices I've ever heard, and Sisters of the Red Death is one of the catchiest rock records I've ever heard. Despite those facts, I have a complicated relationship with this album because of its often-horrifying lyrical content, which details acts of sexual violence and gore. That's usually a dealbreaker for me, but I won't completely write off this record since it is a concept album set in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. Apparently female empowerment is at the core of the message, so it's not like Vendetta Red are condoning the acts that they're singing about. It's still a bit unnerving when you get the urge to sing along to one of the plethora of earworm melodies throughout this album and then realize exactly what you're singing. While I may not have the stomach for Sisters of the Red Death in 2021, I can still wholeheartedly recommend "Silhouette Serenade," which contains all of the awesomeness with none of the gross-out lyrics.

93. Ours - Distorted Lullabies (2001)

Now 20 years into his career, Ours frontman Jimmy Gnecco is surely tired of being compared to Jeff Buckley. But damn, he really does sound like Jeff Buckley. And when you're being compared to one of the all-time great voices in rock music, that's not such a bad thing. Distorted Lullabies is the first proper Ours album, and it's filled with melodic rock songs that highlight Gnecco's incredible range. As the saying goes, I could listen to Gnecco sing the phonebook (those were still around in 2001!), but put his powerful and emotive voice on dynamic rock songs like "Sometimes" and "Meet Me in the Tower"? Yes, please.

92. Armor for Sleep - What to Do When You Are Dead (2005)

This here is an emo concept album about a boy who commits suicide and his experience in the afterlife. Despite the overwrought subject matter, the songs on What to Do When You Are Dead are carefully crafted and interesting. "Car Underwater" is a scene classic, and my favorite track might be the keyboard-centric interlude "A Quick Little Flight." Armor for Sleep seemed a bit more thoughtful in their songwriting and arrangements than many of their contemporaries.

91. Cauterize - Paper Wings (2005)

The single "Something Beautiful" led me to Cauterize's 2003 major label debut So Far from Real, but upon purchasing the album I found that the rest of the tracks didn't live up to that song's high bar. Not so with the independently-released follow-up Paper Wings, which was just full of emo rock songs that I absolutely devoured in 2005. This was actually the first album that I had to order online because it wasn't sold in stores. I remember the surreal feeling of the CD showing up in the mailbox, and that first experience attached some additional meaning to Paper Wings. It doesn't hurt that it features propulsive songs like "Wake to the Sun," "Closer," and "Tremble." Cauterize later signed to another label and re-recorded most of these songs for Disguises, which rejiggered the tracklist and added a few new tunes. Even though the production might be a little better on Disguises, I always preferred the Paper Wings versions and the flow of the original tracklist. There's nothing like the first time.