#i hope the longer-time audience members understand that too

[staylovesmiley]

Going Dumb~ Chapter 13

₊˚⊹ᰔ Pairing; Kim Seungmin x Fem!reader, Stray kids x Fem!reader

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Summary; It had been over a decade since you had last seen each other, having met in choir when Seungmin was living with his grandparents in LA and you with your Aunt. Now that you are both presented adults, how will he handle a change to the reality of you he had made in his mind in your absence over the years?

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Notes; This is an omegaverse!AU. in this world when someone reaches puberty they will present with one of three sub genders; alpha, beta, or omega. Due to Alphas and Omegas experiencing rut and heat, some jobs are restrictive as to what sub genders they will hire, specifically singling out omegas as heat suppressants are harder to obtain than rut suppressants. Scent glands are located near the pressure points on the neck and small hormonal patches called scent blockers can be placed over them to reduce or rid an individual of their scent for a period of time depending on the strength of the hormones in the patch.

₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ ₊˚⊹ᰔ Warnings; omegaverse!au, beta!kim seungmin, almost all alpha!straykids, female!reader, poly!pack dynamics, angst, mild violence, mentions of sexual harassment/assault and discrimination, smut, enemies to lovers, Kim seungmin is kind of an ass I’m so sorry dandy boy, she/her pronouns used for reader, jealous seungmin, I have only ever wrote one abo story before but it is one of my favorite genres so I hope I can do this justice~

In the months after your brief trip to the states for the Met Gala you watched as the boys prepared tirelessly for their new comeback. After making up with Chan and gaining a better understanding of where the fight with the alpha was rooted you both did your best to rely on each other more, and over time your place in the pack felt more cemented and you yourself felt more secure.

Finally, it was the day of the first performance after their new album had dropped. You were waiting just to the side of the stage about of view of any cameras while you watched your boys get into their positions after chatting with the fans in the audience. They looked incredible, the stylists really having outdone themselves once again enhancing the beauty that was your pack members. They all, for the more part, had new hair styles and carefully placed makeup that made them look so attractive you had to fight yourself not to stare for too long. Their outfits as well suited them nicely and as you watched them dancing on the stage you couldn’t help but find yourself lost in a trance like state, absolutely mesmerized by how they carried themselves during a performance.

Your eyes feel to Chan, cheeks heating up slightly as your mind kindly provided you with the memories of the night the two of you had shared together back in the hotel after filming the music video for the very song they were performing today. Of course it wasn’t unnatural for members of a pack to share intimacy of any kind, including sex, but since then nothing of the sort had happened between you and the alpha. It wasn’t that you weren’t interested, nor the other way around, you could see the way his gaze would linger on you from across the room or how his touches lasted a bit longer than necessary whenever you interacted with him. Things were just…too busy. They had so much going on in preparation for their album and the announcement of their upcoming world tour, none of you had time to even get a full nights sleep let alone find time for a quick fuck in between the rigorous schedules you all were kept to.

Then your gaze shifted onto Jisung and the reaction on your face was no better. He was the first in the pack to ever be intimate with you, and even though you had both been in a pheromone induced state of mind for most of it, seeing his lean muscles rippling under the sheer fabric of his top caused you to tug your lower lip between your teeth as memories of flushed skin pressed against your own and low moans echoing in your ear sent shivers down your spine. Unlike with Chan, there were no lingering looks or lasting touches from the younger alpha since your shared heat and rut cycle together. It wasn’t as if neither of you wanted it to happen again, or that you wanted to forget that it had, just that the bond that it had formed between the two of you was different. Han would often seek you out for forms of comfort rather than sexual gratification, snuggling in your bed or on the couch with you after a particularly stressful day when his mind was moving to fast and his thoughts began to overwhelm him. It’s not to say he was not attracted to you, nor that you weren’t attracted to him given your reaction to how he was currently devouring the stage before you like the ace you knew he was, just that the preferred form of intimacy between the two of you was softer these days.

When your eyes landed on Seungmin your heart sank to the pit of your stomach, watching as he seemed to struggle with the switch from his usual hand held mic to the one he wore hands free for this performance. You couldn’t quite tell what it was at first, until you noticed how much it shifted with every move he made and even bounced back to hit his face a few times. You could see just how frustrated he was and it made your chest feel tight as you wished you could rush out onto the stage and provide an immediate fix to the problem and alleviate his discomfort but unfortunately you were forced to sit and watch as the performance, and his struggle with the mic, continued.

The second the song ended and he was out of the camera’s view you watched as he ripped off the headset and made his way off the stage as quickly as possible. Stylists were on him in minutes, dabbing away sweat as the tech staff took the mic and his ear piece off of him carefully from where it hung loose around his neck. You slowly approach the beta as the crowd around him clears, the smell of soured laundry washing over you the closer you get and you frown as you cup his cheek with one hand and the other takes one of his to give it a gentle squeeze. “Wanna tell me what’s got you worked up, Minnie?” You speak softly, looking up into his eyes just as soft as you allow the sweet citrus of your own scent to surround the both of you like your own little bubble of security. “My stupid mic….it was shaking like crazy and I couldn’t focus-“ Seungmin huffed, clearly still agitated though he leaned into your touch instantly. “You still did so good, even better when you factor in that you were being distracted.” You hope your words are assuring to him as you allow the singer to pull you closer and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck as his arms wrap around your waist securely. “I hope that’s how it seemed- I felt like I sounded like absolute shit. I’m never using a head mic again…” Giggling, you could feel his pout against your skin as one hand rested on his back and the other came to card your fingers through his hair gently. “I’m positive you did not sound like absolute shit.” Seungmin let out a whine as you pulled away, your hand taking hold of his once more to pull him into the green room and out of the quickly crowding hallways.

Once inside you pulled the sulking beta over to the couches and took a seat, motioning for him to join you. Seungmin laid with his head in your lap, your hands instantly moving to play with his hair as his eyes closed and the sour tinge to his normally calming scent slowly faded away. “Awe puppy you were that wound up?” Changbin teased playfully as he made his way over, taking a sip from the bottle of water in his hand. “You’re hogging our bunny.” The alpha’s pout caused you to giggle but Seungmin felt otherwise as he quickly sat up and pulled you into his lap protectively with arms wrapped securely around your waist. “I knew her before any of you so I have the right to hog her all I want.” He pouted, chin resting on your shoulder. From the other side of the room Minho scoffed loudly, eyes rolling as he made his way over to where you were both sitting. “You seem to forget how you treated her like absolute shit for the first…hmm I don’t know- month she was here? Your rights were revoked then and there.” He crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow at the beta and you could feel the tension building rapidly. “Woah woah let’s all take a deep breath I’m a person not a toy you guys can fight over.” You huffed a bit, patting Seungmin’s hands that held you close to him before standing up and straightening your clothes that had rumpled slightly when he had pulled you into his lap. “Besides, you guys need to go work with your social media manager now so I’m gonna go head out and meet with stay. Behave.” You pointed a finger at the three men currently around you before giving a nod to Chan and a soft smile.

After your departure from the green room Seungmin pouted, curling in on himself as he sulked. “You didn’t have to bring that up again, Minho hyung…I’ve apologized and we’ve moved past it.” Minho sighed, sitting down beside the younger member and placing a hand on his leg in what he hoped was a comforting manner. “I know, pup…I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have said that.” The beta huffed a bit but moved to curl into the alpha’s side regardless, scenting Minho a bit as his own anxiety and frustration from earlier melted away.

While the members were inside filming TikTok challenges with other idols and taking behind the scenes photos for their instagrams, you made your way outside to where fans were waiting eagerly for the boys to come out so that they could maybe get a glimpse of them or a cute interaction if they were lucky. Once they spotted you, the boys trusted assistant and rumored member of their pack, chaos erupted as your name was screamed out in an attempt to get your attention.

Ever since your departure with the group to the Met Gala, dressed to match the members rather than the rest of their staff, fans had come to form somewhat of a parasocial relationship with you in extension to the members of Stray Kids. It helped that you were also not one to shy away from them, not having the same restrictions as the boys did when it came to responding to comments or doing as you were now…meeting with them face to face unplanned and taking pictures or gifts and letters to bring back to the boys. Stays generally seemed to have an appreciation for your bond with the members, and your willingness to bend the rules a bit to give them more access to them with the boys approval of course. You never shared anything that could get them in trouble, or that they didn’t want to be shared with fans, always running your responses to comments by Chan and any member it involved before posting them to protect their privacy as much as they desired and to not cause any issues like when you had lashed out at the paparazzi. Speaking of, the company had somehow swept the situation under the rug completely. You weren’t sure if they were paid off or threatened with legal action for somehow sneaking past lines to get back stage where they shouldn’t have had access, but regardless you were grateful they did so even if it was more for the image of Stray Kids rather than your own.

You took a couple selfies with stay that asked for it, still as shocked as the first time it happened that they wanted anything like that from someone who wasn’t an idol or even someone of higher importance like a producer or songwriter. The smile you held was genuine as you accepted a few gifts from stays as well, little charm bracelets or stuffed animals, sometimes letters. “I promise I’ll get this to them when we are back at the dorms.” You told them as you gave a thumbs up and carefully tucked the items into your tote bag so no managers would see and try to confiscate them before the boys got them.

Waving your goodbyes, you made your way over to where the boys and other staff were now exiting the building and loading up into the two cars that would take you all back to the dorm. “You feeling better, Minnie?” You asked softly as you took your seat beside him in the middle row of the second car. “Mhm, a lot better now.” He said simply, taking your hand into his own and giving it a little squeeze.

Back at the dorm, you immediately began passing out the gifts from stay to the respective members. When you approached Chan where he was going through his laptop bag at the kitchen table a wide smile broke out on his face. “Bunny! Got something for me there?” He nodded to the letter and small crocheted wolfchan in your hands and you nodded with a bright smile mirroring his own. “As a matter of fact I do! From stay, of course.” You held the gifts out to him but he simply took them and placed them on the table beside his bag before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. “Always taking such good care of us and stay.” He murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. You let out a giggle, eyebrow raised at him. “Thank you?” Chan hummed, sniffing lightly at your hair before placing yet another kiss there. “Did you use Ayen’s shampoo again?” This caused you to snort out a laugh, pulling back from him slightly. “Yeah, why? Do you like it?” You swore something in his eyes darkened for a moment but his face was relaxed in a lazy smile and he nodded to your question. “I do, you should use it more often. It goes with your natural scent really well.” With that his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck as he began scenting you gently at first, but soon started to place slow kisses to the column of your neck. “Chan-“ you started, but were interrupted by a low growl from behind you. “Can you two get a room or something?” The hair on the back of your neck stood on end and you felt a chill go down your spine at the tone in the alpha’s voice, Minho having walked in and caught the both of you. Chan pulled away sheepishly with the tips of his ears burning a bright red. “Just needed to scent Bun after being around everyone at the broadcast station-“ The oldest defended, collecting his things quickly before retreating to his room, but not without one last longing look thrown your way that had the second eldest scoffing.

You eyed the alpha curiously, watching as he made his way to the fridge and grabbed himself a bottled water. He had clearly just finished showering with his hair damp and face bare of the makeup he had worn earlier for the performance. “You okay Min? You look a little-“ before you could finish your sentence he snapped, not even sparing you a glance as he brushed past you and back towards his own room. “I’m fine.” You sighed, arms crossing over your chest as you began following after him. “Minho don’t be like that…you know you can tell me when something is bothering you.” He ignores you, practically slamming the door to his room in your face before you could follow and attempt to interrogate him even further. “Well okay then-“ You couldn’t help but scoff, turning to leave when suddenly a hand shot out from behind and wrapped around your wrist. “Wait-“ Minho had cracked the door open just enough to stick his arm through and stop you from leaving. You rolled your eyes before turning back to face him. “So now you wanna talk?” He frowned, eyes downcast as he gently tugged you into his room. Once the door was closed and you both were safely inside he just stood in front of you while you once again crossed your arms over your chest. “Well, I’m waiting.” You heard him let out a little whimper, like a child being scolded, before taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry for shutting you out…will you please stay with me and maybe watch a movie?” His request had you fighting off a smile and failing, nudging his shoulder lightly as you passed by him and threw yourself onto his bed. “Thought you’d never ask!” You called to him from where you were currently burrowing under his comforter until only your head from the eyes up was visible. Minho swallowed hard, giving you a small smirk before joining you and booting up the projector above his bed that he would use as his tv in his room.

He had picked something random, not really paying attention as his eyes kept drifting to where you sat curled up beside him. Minho licked his lower lip anxiously, a habit he had picked up from Jisung, before wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. You rested your head on his shoulder as you watched the movie, the smell of warm salted caramel swirling around your senses as you leaned into him more comfortably.

The alpha swallowed hard, your own sweet citrus washing over him mixed with the sweet florals of the shampoo you had borrowed from their youngest. Before he could take hold of his impulses he was leaning down to place soft kisses to the back of your neck. A giggle bubbled up from your chest as his hot breath fanned across your skin. His kisses didn’t stop there, having to tilt your head slightly as they trailed from behind your neck to the side where your scent glands were. “Min, you’re missing the best parts-“ You started to giggle again until suddenly you found yourself with your back pressed flat to his mattress, the alpha hovering over you as his kisses were mixed with little nipping bites to your neck as well. “M-Minho?” You stuttered a bit as one of his hands began rubbing your hip gently. It wasn’t until he left a rather harsh bite just below your scent gland that you placed the palms of your hands against his chest and pushed him back away from you. Minho went with no resistance, leaving you breathless still laying back against his bed while he sat in front of you with his eyes turned down and away from you. You could tell from the slightly burnt smell tainting his usually sweet scent that something was wrong and immediately sat up and moved to place a hand on his arm. “Min what was all that-“ He was quick to pull away from your attempted touch, curling in on himself on the farthest part of the bed without actually getting off of it.

You sat back with your legs folded underneath you, pulse still racing as you waited patiently, for what you didn’t know. You half expected Minho to bolt out of the room like a startled cat yet instead he spoke up softly. “Why not me…” Blinking a few times as confusion flooded your expression, you watched him carefully before responding. “Why not you? What do you mean?”

He took a deep shaky breath before speaking up again, this time a little more audibly. “Back at the hotel…when you came to see me- you kissed me back, didn’t you? I thought- I don’t know maybe there was something there…but then you slept with Chan hyung.” Your eyes widened and you went to deny it, though you weren’t sure why, but he stopped you. “Don’t. We all know you did…you don’t think we couldn’t smell it on you for like a week? And the way he’s been acting towards you after that-“ Minho ran a hand through his hair before looking down at his lap where his other hand worried away at the hem of his shirt. “I just- You kissed me back but didn’t want to go any further….just sleep. But with Chan it’s okay to go further? I get it- you know if you like him….if you wanna be with him- but I thought there was something between us too.”

You frowned, moving towards him slowly until you were close enough to pull his hands into your own. “Minho….look at me-“ he refused, immediately shaking his head with his gaze still stuck looking towards his lap. “Minho, please just look at me?” At your pleading he slowly raised his head and you saw the tears threatening to spill behind his eyes. “That night when you kissed me…I didn’t want intimacy- just your comfort. Chan was- that was a completely different situation than what had happened between us.” Your words didn’t seem to help as his scent soured even more. “I did kiss you back, though. Because I like you and I liked kissing you. In the right situation I would have let things go further, it just wasn’t the time…” the alpha sniffled a bit, holding your gaze as he seemed to be trying to decipher if your words were true or not before finally responding. “Then why not now? Is now not the time either? Will there ever be a time? You say you like me but it doesn’t feel like it…ever since you and Seungmin made up the connection we used to have feels like it’s more and more distant.” Your frown only deepened at that and you pulled him closer, burying your face in the crook of his neck gently despite the burnt scent he was giving off making you somewhat nauseous. “You and I will always have a connection that no one else will have. I understand you’ve been feeling neglected and maybe a bit jealous but sex isn’t the way to fix that.” You could feel his once tense body slowly relaxing against your own as you continued. “I’m not saying I don’t want you. The opposite, really…you mean too much to me to just fuck you in a whim.” That caused the alpha to snort out a laugh, shaking his head as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer. “Language.” He teased, placing a kiss to the top of your head before flopping back down on the bed with you still held against him causing you to let out a little yelp of surprise followed by a giggle. “Lee Minho, you mean so much to me. There is no need to be jealous of anyone else when you were the friend I needed when I first came here, supporting and taking care of me like no one else did in the beginning. Even now.” This seemed to dispel the last of the lingering bitterness he felt, but the cherry on top was when you pulled away just enough to plant a gentle kiss to his lips before cuddling back up against him comfortably. “Now can we please finish the movie? And rewind it! I was really invested before you tried to maul me.” Even though Minho was blushing furiously he acted nonchalant, scoffing and rolling his eyes as he grabbed the remote and did as you had instructed. “Yeah yeah, whatever you say cutie.” You both relaxed into a comfortable silence, the only sound in the room was the movie you were watching though now you were the one not paying attention as you let the sound of his gentle heartbeat lull you to sleep in his arms.

It was three weeks later and things seemed to mellow out slowly. Yours and Minhos bond had grown stronger after your talk, his jealousy fully dissipating replaced with playful teasing towards Chan any time he clung to your side like a love sick school boy. Speaking of the alpha leader, his not so subtle advances and affection had all but stopped as preparations for their tour ramped up and new songs and choreographies had to be created, learned, and recorded. You practically had to drag him from the studio most nights and tuck him into bed yourself to make sure he stayed there and didn’t try to go back to working. Everything seemed to be running smoothly, though there was some mild stress regarding the impending concert. You were all on your way back to the company after attending a few different schedules and once you exited the van you noticed a group of about twenty or so stays crowded outside who started calling out to you the second you were spotted. “Hey guys I think I’m gonna go say hi.” You called out to the group as everyone gathered their things and started to get out themselves. “Okay just meet us inside when you’re done?” Chan said with a smile, pressing a kiss to your temple before you headed off towards the fans calling for you.

When you reached the crowd you followed the same routine as usual- accepting gifts and letters from the stays on the members’ behalf and even taking a few selfies while chatting with them and making small talk like asking how they have been and if they are eating well. Things were going smoothly until you got to a particular girl with a tiny wolfchan plush hooked onto her bag dressed in the cutest little crocheted outfit. “Hi! I love your wolfcha-“ You didn’t get a chance to finish as she swung with her right hand, the sharp acrylic nails she wore ripping into the delicate flesh of your cheek before her left hand grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled until she was inches from your face. “You disgusting ugly bitch!” She screeched, her grip on your hair tightening causing you to let out a yelp in pain. “How dare you steal Channie oppa from me you slut!” You winced, feeling the warm trickle of blood slowly dripping down the side of your face from where you had been scratched. “What do you have to say for yourself?! You stole Channie oppa from me and you have nothing to say for yourself?!?”

Hearing the commotion from the crowd, the boys all whipped around to see what was going on only to watch as one of their supposed fans yanked you around by your hair while screaming obscenely only a few inches from your face. Seungmin was instantly bolting towards you with Chan only a foot behind and the other quickly falling into step as well until their managers and one of their bodyguards blocking their path. “What the fuck are you doing get out of our way!” Seungmin barked at them, trying to shove past but to no avail. Chan and Minho, on the other hand, had to be physically held back as they attempted to get to where you were still being attacked.

With your hair still held in her fist and the barrage of insults never ending all you could do was stand there and take it, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to withstand the sharp pain in your face and scalp. “You really have nothing to say?! Speak, bitch!” You took a deep breath, eyes opening slowly to meet her furious gaze before looking to the fans beside her watching in horror with cellphones out recording the attack. “Did you get all that on video?” You asked through gritted teeth. The poor girl you spoke to nodded, her hands shaking slightly as she didn’t know what to do and was afraid to act lest she be the next target of the crazed fangirl. You couldn’t help but smirk a bit, eyes falling back on the girl in front of you just as the bodyguard not actively holding back the members came and pried her off of you. “I’ll see you in court.” You spoke calmly, voice almost icy cold with how void of emotion it was before turning and walking towards the building as if your hair was not a tangled mess and the side of your face wasn’t still painted red.

The boys stopped their fight to get to you, watching slightly dumbfounded as you made your way past them nonchalantly and into the jyp building. They all looked to each other before quickly following after you, finding you already waiting by the elevator to head up to their practice room. Seungmin was by your side in the blink of an eye, a hand gently placed on your lower back as his other hand cupped the uninjured side of your face. “Bunny are you okay- oh my god…” The beta gasped when he saw the full extent of your injuries. “I’m fine, Minnie. Let’s just get up to the practice room, yeah?” You give him a small smile, a sharp stinging causing you to wince from contracting the muscles in your injured face. With the elevator finally opening, you make your way inside quickly and they all follow suit silently but with so many questions swarming in their minds.

By the time everyone is upstairs and in the practice room all hell seems to break loose. The members are surrounding you, checking over you frantically. Some are cursing about the girl who had hurt you and the managers for holding them back from helping you sooner, Felix in particular is so angry his face is red and there are tears of frustration spilling down his freckled cheeks. You are trying your best to reassure them everything is fine when you feel a hand wrap around your wrist and pull you away from them. You turn to find the owner of that string grip to see Chan standing there with a storm brewing behind his eyes.

His brows are furrowed tightly and his nostril flared a bit, you can’t help but freeze. “Channie I-“ you start, worried this will be a repeat of last time you had gotten into a fight until he is pulling you to his chest and holding you firmly against him. “I’m so proud of you- you are incredible, you know that? You stayed so calm- you….you did better than I would have, better than I did.” You turn to look up at him confused, desperately attempting to not stain his shirt with blood. “I wanted to rip her head off- I wanted to get to you so badly but you handled it all so well. The managers are holding everyone downstairs until the police come for questioning and then we will need to meet with them too.” At his constant praise you feel your heart swell and tears brim in your eyes. Chan leans down and leaves a gentle kiss to your forehead just before one of the staff approaches you with a first aid kit.

He reluctantly lets you go, the alpha still hovering near by but it’s Seungmin who lets out a little growl when the staff starts to inspect your wound. “Give me that.” He practically snarls, all but ripping the kit from their hands before intertwining your fingers and dragging you out of the practice room with calls of protest from the other members yet no one stops you.

Seungmin takes you down the hall to the bathroom and locks the door with the both of you inside so you are completely alone. “Come here, I gotta clean you up first.” He commands but there isn’t much force behind his words. You move towards the counter where he stood but before you can get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror he is turning you around and lifting you up to help you sit atop the counter facing him. “Seungmin I can do it-“ you attempt to get down but he steps up closer between your legs before you can. “Let me, please?” You whine a bit, not able to say no to the soft pleading look he is giving you as he takes a few paper towels and wets them in the sink until they are damp. “Okay…I trust you.” He smiles and you feel like your heart skips a beat. Suddenly you are eight years old again pining after the cute boy from choir who you consider your best and only friend, suddenly you feel like you can’t breathe properly when he gets inches from your face and begins to gently pat away the blood from your wounds. When you wince he pauses briefly, his free hand moving to rest on your upper arm and the warmth from his touch causes your breath to hitch slightly. “You could have fought back, you know…not even Chan hyung would have faulted you for that.” His face is so stoic, hyper focused on the task of cleaning and patching you up and you can’t help but take this opportunity to admire him up close. “You may not have faulted me but the fans might disagree. It was better to just….let it happen and take legal action after.” He huffs a bit, shaking his head as he finally finishes cleaning the wound. The beta tosses the bloody paper towels into the trash before pulling an antibiotic cream out of the kit to carefully apply to the cuts. “Your safety is more important to me than stays feelings.” You frown, staring into his eyes but he refuses to meet you there, trying to stay focused but you cup his face in your hands until you can bring him to meet your gaze. “Kim Seungmin don’t say stuff like that. You love stay so much, of course their feelings are important to you.” He’s quick to respond, and the look on his face gives away that it was so quick he couldn’t stop himself and think his words through fully. “Not as much as I love you.” His tone was a bit exasperated, eyes wide as if he was trying to defend you from yourself but the second you both realize what he said you both freeze.

You both stay like that for a moment, silence surrounding you like a heavy weighted blanket until you feel yourself moving forward to press your lips against his own. You feel him hesitate and it causes you to panic and begin pulling away only for him to place a hand on the nape of your neck to hold you still as he presses forward to prolong the kiss. It’s so sweet, gentle…everything you hoped it would be since you were a child. When the two of you pull away slightly breathless he rests his forehead against your own. “I’ve wanted that for over a decade, you know…” His eyes widen a bit but then he’s chuckling, shaking his head as he pulls back further so he can finish dressing your wound. “I hope it lived up to your expectations?” The beta is trying desperately to act nonchalant but the reddened tips of his ears and his slightly shaking hands give him away. “More than, I’d say- Minnie…” Seungmin shakes his head, applying the antibiotic some more before adding gauze and medical tape to your cheek. “Let me finish.” You pout a bit, but allow him to finish as he had requested. However, you thought he meant finish with the bandages when he really meant his confession. “I’m not…good with this- I don’t think I realized how much I cared about you until recently…but I fear I am stupidly and hopelessly in love with you. I’d- I wanna take you on a date, if that’s okay…?” You can’t help but blink a few times, looking up at him in a daze before nodding enthusiastically with a soft blush flooding your cheeks. “I would like that a lot, Seungmin. But first…I think you should kiss me again.” This causes the beta to falter a bit, dropping the tape in his hands haphazardly into the first aid kit before you are pulling him back to you by fist fulls of his shirt.

You both kiss lazily, sweetly, for what felt like an eternity before making your way back to the practice room. Your hands held together in a way that feels right, a comfortable silence between the two of you as Seungmin grins from ear to ear unable to relax his face for even a second. Despite it all, everything was still going smoothly….at least for now.

author’s note; aaahhhh finally!!! Sorry I have been gone for soooo long life has been kicking my ass- but it feels good to be back! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did writing it~ pls as always your feedback and reactions mean the world to me so lmk what you think!! ᕱᕱ₊˚⊹♡

taglist; (pink users I wasn’t able to tag) @coastinglove @skzswife @maisyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @doitforbangchan @chartrucewhore @sebastianswhore13 @finnydraws @bahablastplz @0325tiny @motheraiya55 @confusedabouteverythings @hellevator-143 @ihrtlix @h0rnyp0t @katsukis1wife @emmxxsworld @tenshimara @im-sinking-in-mud @n1nme4r @nightcat101 @chancloud8 @corgilover20 @pizzalove5000 @bookswillfindyouaway

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no resistance [kinktober 2023: fingering]

See the full Kinktober 2023 Collection here! See my full list of works here!

Summary: President Loki fires his assistant for booking an interview gone horribly sideways and hires you in her place.

Pairing: President Loki x Reader

Word Count: 7.4k [prepare drinkies and snacks accordingly]

Warnings: 18+ | smut (minors & pearl clutchers, be gone. i won't ask again); fingering; dirty talk; most likely inaccurate depictions of what a day in the White House looks like; improper use of the Oval Office desk; a handful of cuss words [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: power dynamic (she's his assistant); mentions of Natasha, Bucky, Morgan, and Steve if you squint; bit of a makeover trope towards the middle of the story; Reader is mid to late 20s

Dick-tionary (aka smut guide): smut starts at "He worked his hand back under" and ends at "When he pulled his digits"

"I uhh…I think that's all the questions I have for this interview. Thank you so much for your time, President Loki, and I wish you the best of luck with your re-election campaign."

The journalist, if she could even be called that, fidgeted the slightest in her seat, her discomfort evident from both the motion and the expression on her face. As if she knew that the god-president was now quite cross with her, and much deservedly so.

As if she knew she spoke out of turn in this interview that was so graciously granted to her.

"My security will see you off the premises. Good day, madam."

He exited the room with a slight swish of his coattails, striding down the halls with a fury now directed at his assistant rather than the would-be journalist. Once the offending individual had been located, there was a meek, fearful look on her face as well.

"Boss," her voice wavered. "Your forehead vein's making an appearance again…"

"Clear your desk. Today is your final day on my team." His voice rang out and echoed all over the floor of the campaign headquarters, most of the staff raising their heads and peering from awkward angles to have a view of the commotion.

"But Boss, you said you wanted to connect with the younger adult audience and capture their votes. Miss Lewis has an audience right smack in that demographic, her videos get millions of views, I don't understand--" She let out a frustrated huff. "An interview with her could secure you a good few million votes in your re-election. From fresh voters who've just registered and are undecided. She could bridge the gap that makes you seem so unrelatable with the digital age--"

"That woman that should never dare call herself a journalist asked me to confirm the measurements of my phallus because it appears that that is the dominating question her audience had for me," he snapped, rendering the former assistant quiet.

"I--I'm sorry, Boss. I didn't know--"

"No. No you did not. It is clear that you did not do ample research on how this Miss Lewis conducted her behavior and what type of a strategy she would likely use to bridge this so called gap of relatability. I have let a good few shortcomings of yours slide since the beginning of this campaign season in hopes that you simply needed to find your footing. But time is running short and frankly so is my patience. I no longer have leniency to spare for incompetence, especially from people that work too closely with me. Pack your belongings, I expect you out within the hour. Security will triple check for any information you may try to smuggle out of the premises, so I suggest you do not even attempt it."

She let out a sound of utter disbelief. "And how exactly do you expect to replace me on such short notice? The press will see when I'm not in your entourage at the briefing tomorrow morning."

"I assure you, it will not be such an impossible feat to replace the likes of you. Now if I were in your shoes, I'd hasten my movements. The hour will tick by before you know it."

Members of Loki's security kept a close watch on her to ensure that she only vacated her desk of her personal belongings. Checking every item she placed into her purse if there were scribbled secrets or supporters' contact information that might give the opposition some sort of an advantage over him.

Once they were positive that there was nothing she held on her person that could even remotely sabotage his re-election campaign, he had her escorted out of the building.

Now on to finding his new assistant. Preferably someone with a sensible enough head on their shoulders that they would at least do a rudimentary background check on who would be conducting the interview before writing them a gate pass and allowing them into such a private space.

Loki took a glance at the small pile of papers that his former assistant left behind. One had numerous strikethroughs and comments scratched on so harshly there were indents on the paper from whoever was wielding the bright fuchsia-inked pen.

Boring as all fuck, this isn't the aesthetic that we're going for. Try again, Y/N, the feedback read. The suggestion held the name of a creator whose content focused on documentaries centered on powerful individuals that have leveraged their platform in a negative manner. That perhaps this journalist could interview him and ask questions that touched on his past before he arrived on Earth and even some of the myths that surrounded his time on Asgard.

The president snapped his fingers at the nearest staff member, beckoning him over with an impatient flick of his fingers. "Which one of your colleagues is Y/N? Point her out to me."

The staff member raised a shaking hand, pointing in the direction of your desk. "O-Over there, Mi--Mister President, Sir," he stammered, mentioning your full name before Loki motioned for him to return to his seat. He took a good look at you, phone clipped between your ear and shoulder while you wrote something down on paper, the concentration written all over your face as you proceeded with your work.

"Yes I'll be sure to keep your contact information on file and forward your request for interview. You'll hear from us soon about schedules and logistics," you told the other person on the line with a smile stretched across your face that was so obviously strained, he could imagine your cheeks were beginning to smart from holding it.

He watched you work for a few more moments, your side of the conversation giving enough away for him to figure out you were speaking with a representative from Stark Industries. Something about a partnership to provide free sustainable energy to the impoverished communities throughout the country.

"We're very much looking forward to speaking with you in more detail about your proposals, Miss Stark. Thank you so so much for taking the time to answer my call, we'll be in touch soon." You took your little pencil and used it to twist your hair out of your face, your strained smile finally dropping. "Sorry I probably won't be able to call though because the president's PA is a complete ditz that'll reject my request because it doesn't go with the aesthetic," you grumbled, imitating his former assistant's tone toward the end and bringing an amused smile to the god's face.

"Miss Y/L/N," he called out to you, his tone uncharacteristically soft. Despite it, however, the sound of his voice still caused you to start in your seat.

Your expression morphed into a grimace, sucking in air between your teeth, looking defeated. "Good afternoon, Sir," you spoke, your words shaking with obvious fear. "You…heard me mocking your assistant, I apologize nobody was meant to hear that. I'll uhm…I'll clear my desk, it was an honor getting to work--"

"Hold on a moment there, darling, you're not in any trouble." He approached you with his hands held out and open in an attempt to tell you you had nothing to fear. "It was…quite an accurate depiction, if we're being honest. Hardly a mockery. I've erm…I've actually come here to speak with you about some of the interview requests you'd sent in prior to today."

He held up some of the scraps of paper in his hand, each of them containing your handwriting and his previous assistant's caustic feedback in the obnoxious fuchsia ink she insisted on using. "They were all rejected," you offered lamely, grimacing again as you squirmed in your seat.

"They're also quite clever. Intelligent, even." Your head snapped up at the compliment, a mixture of shock and satisfaction on your face as you looked at him. Your grimace had given way to a tiny endearing smile, a tinge of pink now in your cheeks. "Had my itinerary been comprised of these instead, today might have turned out to be more productive."

Your eyes widened to the point he worried they might pop out of your head. "The Lewis interview pushed through today?" He nodded once, a look of pity now painting your features. "I am so terribly sorry I sent over my research on her content but--"

"My former assistant likely shredded your findings," he finished, sitting slightly at the edge of your desk. "It's alright, Y/N, I don't hold you responsible for any of today's shortcomings. I see the efforts you've taken to enrich this campaign. Shamefully quite late, but I see them now. Hopefully moving forward we could work together to correct your predecessor's oversights."

"Wait, hold on…former assistant? Predecessor? Sir what--"

"I'd like to offer you a promotion of sorts. I'm in need of a new assistant, seeing as I fired the last one today for organizing an interview so brazenly invasive I might as well have taken the meeting completely nude."

"Well I'm sure Ms Lewis' audience would've loved that--" You stopped your words short, looking as if you'd bit your tongue. "Sorry I shouldn't have--"

"I'm sure they would have," he chuckled, leaning in the slightest to get a better look at you, finding himself surprisingly looking forward to what the next few days would bring, seeing your face more often as well as the potential of a better workflow considering that you seemed to be more focused on substance over appearance. "Take the rest of the day to familiarize yourself with the new workflow, as well as my itinerary. I'll defer to your judgment to rearrange or outright cancel any upcoming interviews as you see fit. I'll meet with you a half-hour before breakfast for a debrief on any changes you've decided on."

He barely gave you any time to nod your head in agreement before he reached for your hand, raising it to his lips and placing a delicate kiss on the back of your hand.

"I look forward to working with you, Y/N."

Your first few days working for President Loki had passed in a blur, working tirelessly to rearrange his schedule and maintaining a correspondence with the content creators that your predecessor had arranged interviews for. Spinning tales of how hectic the president's schedule had become on such short notice and therefore their appointments with him would have to be rescheduled at a later date.

A later date that probably would never come, considering that most if not all of the planned interviews conducted their business similarly to the one that effectively got his former assistant fired within the hour. You made a small note in your own binder that perhaps when he'd secured his re-election, they could be granted access among the crowd of reporters during larger press conferences.

"Maybe if you're among hoards of other reporters, you can keep your thirst in check and actually act like respective, decent human beings. Not asking about dick measurements like you're asking about the weather today. Thirsty idiots…" you grumbled, writing another name into the list.

"If that list gets any longer, you may need to have a rotation schedule, sweetling." You jumped at the sound of the president's voice coming from so close behind you, peering over your shoulder to find that he stood near enough that you could almost feel the heat radiating from his body. "Are these all the ones you'd rescheduled from the prior calendar?"

You mutely nodded, swallowing your nerves before speaking. "All the ones so far," you clarified, clicking away at your computer to show him the packed and borderline overbooked schedule that was formerly planned for him. "I made sure to go for the ones planned in the next few weeks first so that they at least have enough time to reallocate their time somewhat. There's about six more weeks worth to sort out."

"Excellent work," he told you, his voice even closer to your ear now that he was leaning over your shoulder to peer at the schedule on your monitor. "And what does my schedule look like for today, Y/N?"

You clicked to this week's view, taking a cursory look at the calendar. "After the press briefing, you have a lunch meeting with the Department of Defense along with one of the directors of R & B Weaponries, a Mr Barnes, to discuss about a new ammo supplier for the Navy forces and your own personal security detail."

He nodded along with your summary, the citrusy leathery scent of him wafting into your space and making you a touch dizzy from his onslaught of your senses. You just had to smell immaculate on top of looking like sex on legs, you hissed inwardly, biting down hard at the inside of your lip to keep you from saying a word aloud.

"And will you be joining me in this luncheon?"

Your eyes widened at his question. Of course you wouldn't be. The information to be divulged in such meetings should be something heard only by the president or those he deems closest to him. You were his assistant, nothing more. All you needed to know were names, dates, and overall points of discussion.

"I uhm…no. I don't--I don't believe I will be," you stammered, your breath hitching when he turned his head to look at you and suddenly you could feel his warm breath on your cheek. "Personal assistants aren't usually included in the guest list for these events," you offered in a lame attempt at explaining a question he didn't even ask.

"You are now. We'll leave at a quarter to noon." He began to walk out of the office, only halting to look at you over his shoulder when you let out a tiny squeak like you were about to protest. "Are you opposed to this new arrangement, sweet mortal?"

"Uhh--" You took a breath, composing yourself. "No, Sir. I'll call the restaurant to update the head count."

President Loki smirked at you, jerking his head toward the door. "Excellent. Now we should get going. I believe the briefing will commence in a few moments."

While you were on your way to the briefing room, you sent a haphazard text to a stylist friend, a Hail Mary to hopefully get you looking somewhat presentable.

Tasha, massive SOS. I need an outfit to not look like a total clown show next to the President for a lunch thing.

You followed a few steps behind the president, taking a quick look at your watch when you got notified of a reply from your friend, Natasha Romanoff. Is "lunch thing" your way of downplaying "date"? He finally made his move on you after making googly eyes at you all week long?

Her text had you fighting the urge to roll your eyes as you stepped into the briefing room, cameras at the ready and reporters sitting straight and alert, waiting to pounce with their questions once President Loki was situated at his podium.

The hour went on mostly without a hitch, you taking your notes on near everything he'd mentioned in response to the reporters' queries. While your boss was speaking with a few people from Press Relations, your ears perked up at some small talk between two reporters, one of them having a few biting words to say about you.

"I mean at least his last assistant had some sense of fashion. I never thought I'd miss Little Miss looks like she got hired from the red light district, but at least she didn't look like some frumpy ass college student who just rolled out of bed. Honestly she's dragging the whole look down and that's saying so much because Mr President can make anything look hot."

"Except her, apparently," the other reporter shot back in a snippy tone. "Guarantee you he just hired her so that he has less of a distraction in the workplace. She's the kind people look at and they're doing the opposite of mentally undressing her."

"Mentally putting a paper bag over her head," the first reporter capped off with a witchy cackle.

You felt your fury bubbling just under the surface, wanting nothing more than to march over there and give them a piece of your mind for being so catty at someone that they didn't even know. To drag them over their impractical shoes that made their legs wobble if they so much as tried to stand straight or their two sizes too small shirts that had buttons fighting for their life trying to keep their tits covered.

Instead of doing any of that, however, you pulled out your phone to text Tasha. Firstly, no it's not a "date", when are you gonna drop that tin foil hat of yours. And secondly, scratch what I said earlier. You've wanted to give me a makeover since college? Now's your chance, Babes. Gimme the works.

You sidled past the president and his current company, asking one of your closer acquaintances from the staff to accompany him to any impromptu meetings until the lunch meeting later and to inform your boss that you had to attend to a personal matter, but that you would be back before he left for the restaurant.

As the clock kept on ticking closer half past noon, Loki could feel himself getting antsy waiting for your return. He'd noticed how jittery you seemed when you passed him on your way out of the press briefing, and the staff member you'd sent to keep him apprised in your stead gave no satisfactory explanation on what caused you to step out so abruptly.

"Where are you, Y/N…" he grumbled into the empty office, looking on at your desk that he'd moved inside so that calling on you would require less effort. Instead of stepping outside or phoning you, he'd simply have to call your name from wherever he was and you were already there.

And if he was being completely honest with himself, he'd also done it so you would be closer to him and he would see you at all times throughout the day. He found your presence calmed him, the competence you'd more than proven to have over the last few days already easing his day to day.

Just as he was about to reach for his phone and call you to check if you were alright, he heard your voice outside his office, speaking with your reliever in a tone he likened to one that he heard back on Asgard. Whenever Frigga would correct him on any missteps he had throughout his magic lessons.

"I totally get how you can get lost finding the meeting rooms, it's a goddamn maze in here. But if you make any of them lose unnecessary time because of it, not everyone will come at you with understanding. Just make sure that it doesn't happen for next time. I'll draw you up a map for the rooms that are most frequently used. Study it, live it, breathe it. See if someone from security can accompany you while you familiarize yourself with the place, and don't stop until you can navigate the floor with your eyes closed."

"Yes, ma'am," your reliever confirmed, his tone audibly less jittery than when he was speaking with Loki. "Thank you so much, Y/N. Honestly getting you to be in charge of the rest of us might be one of the best things the President ever did. The one before you was so--"

"Harpy?" you finished with a chuckle, the lightness in your tone feeling like a soothing balm to the nerves Loki had had since he saw you exit the White House so hastily earlier this morning. "Remember when I tried to suggest that we should reach out to Greta Thunberg's team?"

He could almost hear the other man shudder from the other side of the door. "Gah, she nearly ripped your throat out that day. Something something not shippable and we need to get 'hot people'. Really lost the plot, that one. Anyways, I'll go work on memorizing that map. Thanks again, Boss."

"Yikes, don't call me that," you shot back, your voice growing closer to the door, prompting Loki to walk back to his desk before you stepped into the office. "That's just for our boss, no one else." Your footsteps sounded different; there was considerably more of a click in each step, and the slightest stumble to them as if you were re-familiarizing yourself with your own legs.

There was a bizarre feeling of the air becoming easier to breathe once he heard the door open. "There you are, darling. I hope your personal matter's been sorted out and you're ready to--" His words halted dead in their tracks once he turned around and got a good look at you, quickly surmising that the 'personal matter' was a complete overhaul of your appearance.

There was an ethereal glow to your face and your hair that had his hands twitching to reach out and touch you, and in place of the slightly oversized sweater and denim you'd worn this morning was a blazer designed to be worn as a dress, set in a shade of green that matched his waistcoat perfectly. To top it all off, the buckle that cinched at your waist as well as the heels that brought your height up by a few inches were set in a gold that matched the horned helmet atop his head.

You looked like the personification of his most far-fetched fantasies whenever he thought of what he wanted in someone that would stand by his side. A confidant. A partner. A lover, even.

Someone radiantly beautiful, brilliant, and completely unafraid to declare themself as his by adorning his colors.

"Too much?" you spoke up, jostling him out of his thoughts. "I-I mean if it is I still have a change of clothes in my bag I can--"

"No, no. It's not too much, little mortal. Not at all." Mentally he was stabbing himself for stumbling over his words so clumsily; he was normally so much more composed than this. "You look…ravishing." Your eyes lit up at his words, betraying the neutral expression you tried to maintain. "Come. We should head to the restaurant."

He offered out his hand to you, confusion plaguing him when the rhythm of his heart stumbled just as his words did once you'd placed your hand in his. He found you such an anomaly, looking at you with utmost curiosity, wondering how someone could simultaneously calm the chaos all around him and yet incite an entirely different type of chaos in his heart. Not to mention his loins.

"You know, darling, had we been in Asgard, your wearing of my colors could be interpreted as a declaration of your allegiance to me," he spoke once you were both situated in the back of the car. You nodded your head slowly, as if ruminating over what he'd just said. He couldn't take his eyes off of you.

"That makes sense," you answered, seeming as if you were thinking aloud. "Seeing as I am your assistant, people should see within seconds that I'm associated with you. The color thing's probably the most tasteful way of doing it rather than a t-shirt with your face printed on it…"

"May I ask you something…a touch more personal, Miss Y/L/N?"

"O-Of course," you stammered, your nodding a touch unsteady, fingers laced together tightly as if you were trying to keep your nerves at bay.

"What made you decide to work for me?"

You blinked rapidly for a moment, seeming to be genuinely taken aback by the question, before composing your answer.

"All the people who held the position before you were horrid…evil men. All they cared about was finessing a kick back. Burying their constituents in debt. You stepped into office and…I was out of debt in less than half a year. My student loans were nowhere to be found. All because you prioritized our right to have an education. Of course I was going to try working on your re-election campaign."

Hearing you talk about his predecessors, describing them the way you did as if they were so starkly different from him, somehow didn't sit right with the god. "But darling, you do know that I, too, am what others would call a…horrid, evil man?"

You shook your head stubbornly, sitting up straighter as if you were about to deliver a lecture. "No. You're not. I've seen evil men. I've worked with them, I've--" The words caught in the back of your throat, making you clear your throat before pushing on. "I've suffered at the hands of evil men."

Your eyes met his, the sincerity in them knocking the air out of his lungs. Had he been up on his feet, he was sure that your next words would have knocked him down on his ass.

"I'm not looking at an evil man."

His next query escaped from his mouth so swiftly, he couldn't have stopped the words even if he wanted to. "Y/N, what prompted all this?" He made a motion from your hair to your feet. "Why the change?" You squirmed in your seat, as if holding the answer in was making you physically uncomfortable. "It's alright, darling, you can tell me."

There was a heaviness in your tone when you answered. Like you were holding back tears from just recounting the events. "This morning…in the briefing room. There were these reporters commenting on how I looked and how it kind of…cheapened the image. Your image. Ruined the aesthetic."

"What is it with these feeble-minded mortals and their absurd fascination about aesthetics?"

"I don't know," you blurted out. "But the thing is, Sir, I don't have to know. The only thing I have to understand is that there are people, voters, who assign a high value to the aesthetic of a candidate. And it won't sit right in my conscience if I have the knowledge that my appearance can jeopardize someone's decision to vote for you, and I do nothing about it. So…I called up a friend of mine and…told her to make me a new person. A pretty one."

You were already beautiful, he thought to himself. It mattered not how you presented yourself.

Before he could suppress the urge, he was reaching over to your side of the backseat, tucking a lock of your hair that fell loose, obstructing his view of your features. "You deserve so much better than this, sweet mortal," he said softly, stroking your cheek with the backs of his fingers, his heart warming when he saw how you leaned into his touch. "You should be working for an honorable man. A decent man."

The next words to come out of your mouth had him just about ready to carve his heart out with his own dagger and serve it to you on a golden platter. "I am."

"Babes, noooooo," Tasha whined from her end of the video call. "Why are you putting your hair up? The whole fit goes better with your hair down."

You mumbled your answer as incoherently as you could, hoping she'd chalk it off to a bad connection as you fiddled with the half of your hair that was put up in a little gold claw clip.

"What was that, Babes? I didn't quite hear you."

Dammit. "Because he told me he likes it when my hair's not blocking my face, okay?" you answered her with an exaggerated sigh. "Now please tell me my makeup meets your standards because I really don't wanna explain that I lost motion in my right arm from blending my eyeshadow."

"Okay first, your makeup's fine. I'm so proud I'm about to quote that little red cartoon dragon. And second, I can't believe you had the audacity to tell me I had a tin foil hat on, I told you the first day you walked into that briefing room with him that that man couldn't stop himself from looking at you and looking like a heart-eyed emoji. Now you're telling me this? Babes, it's time you accept it. The President has it bad for you, and give it eight to ten months, and you're gonna become First Lady Y/N Laufeyson. In fact I'm so sure of it that 'if I'm wrong, I'll dye my hair puke green. Neon, glow in the dark, puke green."

You let out a frustrated sound that echoed throughout your apartment, stepping back from the phone and showing your friend your choice of clothing for the day, just like you had every morning for the last week. Today it was a dress with puff sleeves, a high neckline with a keyhole and ribbon bow detailing, and an a-line skirt. In President Loki's signature shade of green, of course.

"Looks great, Babes. He's gonna love it."

"Doesn't matter if he likes it, Tasha. The viewers just have to not think I'm ruining his look," you grumbled, stepping out of your phone camera's view to change into the dress.

"Mm hmm, keep telling yourself that, Y/N. Have a good day at work. Try not to ride your boss until after office hours, okay?" You waved her off, ending the call and putting your phone on Silent before you headed off to the White House.

When you got to President Loki's office, he was sat at the edge of his table, hands resting on the lux hardwood surface, and legs spread.

The posture put those unfairly sensual muscular thighs on sluttish display, made worse by the way the fabric of his at least one size too tight slacks stretched and strained over his skin. You had to look away before you dared look closer because you could've sworn you also clocked some tenting between his legs.

"Good morning, sweet little mortal," he greeted you, his voice even more gravelly than usual. Your knees nearly buckled from its effect on you, already feeling the familiar pooling between your legs.

"Good morning, Sir," you answered, already feeling flushed, your breathing a bit deeper and causing an uncomfortable pinch from how bra was pinching against your breasts. "You're up early today…"

"I'm still up, darling. I couldn't sleep. Something was…plaguing my mind."

"Oh?"

He gave you a single nod before raising his hand forward, curling his fingers in a motion that had your feet moving of their own accord toward him. Had you not known any better it was like he cast a spell that summoned you to his side.

But you did know better. He didn't need to cast a spell.

"Closer," he breathed when you were standing two feet in front of him, flicking his gaze down at the space between his legs.

Your heart caught in your throat, your pulse thundering in your ears and pounding so hard you could swear you felt it even at the tips of your toes. Regardless, you obeyed, stepping closer until you stood less than a foot away from him.

"I want you to know you're free to tell me if you wish for me to stop." His words came out strained, like it hurt to say them. "I would never hold it against you. If you do not feel the same I can drop it and we can both simply pretend this never happened."

There's no way, you kept on stubbornly repeating to yourself. Even as he placed his sinfully large hands at your sides, bringing you even closer, so close that you could feel his breath warming your face.

Even as he reached up to remove the clip holding your hair up, weaving his fingers into your hair to hold you in place while his eyes roamed your features, constantly returning to stare at your lips.

The stubborn voice in the back of your head only got silenced once he closed the remaining distance between you, soft lips pressing against your own in a kiss so delicate it was like he thought you were made of porcelain and you would crack at even the slightest touch.

"You can stop me if you feel I've overstepped," he whispered, still close enough that the movement of his lips still faintly ghosted over your own. "I just simply couldn't go another day without telling you--"

You felt the slightest thrill up your spine at the surprised sound that caught in the back of his throat, when you cut him off by giving him a fleeting kiss of your own.

You barely registered the heavy sound of his helmet hitting the tabletop before he pulled you closer, one hand tugging lightly at your hair, the other roaming down your body and working its way under your dress. He grasped at your thigh, letting out a sinful moan when you parted your lips for him and your tongues met in a frantic tangle.

"Do you trust me?" he rasped, catching his breath. He let out a sharp exhale, sounding relieved when you simply nodded your head. He wrapped his hand around the inside of your knee, his other arm wrapping around your waist to lift you up to straddle his lap, knees resting on the edge of the tabletop.

The precarious position had you grasping at his shoulders, leaning into him to keep yourself from keeling over.

He splayed his hand across your back, holding you steady. "I have you, sweet girl." He pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, kissing his way down your neck until you let out a strangled moan once he'd reached a spot between your neck and shoulder.

You had to be dreaming. That was the only explanation for this. You slept in and you were still in your apartment and now you were about to be late for work. Yup, that was it. You tried to dig your nail into your palm, wincing at the sharp pinch you felt but nothing came of it.

"Agh--" Your nail broke skin, a tiny spot of blood blooming on your palm.

"Darling Y/N, what in the Nine are you doing?" He wrapped his hand around your wrist, running his thumb across your palm, seeing the minuscule wound.

"This is a dream," you mumbled, more to yourself. "I have to wake up."

"Little mortal," he cooed, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "You think this a dream?" You whimpered at the smirk he gave you when you nodded. "So you've dreamed of this before? Of my kiss? My touch?"

Ah what the hell I'm dreaming anyway. "I have. Every night."

"Oh my sweet little mortal." He pressed a kiss to your palm, the pinprick wound suddenly nowhere to be found when he pulled away. "I can assure you…if this is a dream, it is one we share. The things I've wanted to do to you. With you. Now that I know you've wanted this, too, there is very little that can stop me from turning those dreams into reality."

He worked his hand back under your dress, between your legs, fingertips teasingly trailing up the inside of your thigh. He let out a staggering breath when he met the fabric of your panties, drenched with your arousal.

When you began to whimper from his fingers tracing along your slit he pulled you in for another kiss, effectively muffling your moans when he began to circle your clit over your panties. You started to roll your hips into his touch in response, your body already aching for more.

"So deliciously eager," he purred, kissing his way to your ear. "But I'll be needing you to stay alert, darling." You let out a little squeak when his hold tightened around your waist, keeping you from grinding your hips and chasing your own pleasure. "Now tell me what will be on my itinerary for today."

The softly growled order had your mind scrambling, thoughts that usually easily stitched together to form whatever answer he needed suddenly becoming disjointed and lost to the recesses of your consciousness. "Wait what?"

"I'm sure you understand my need for those under my employ to be mentally sharp as a tack. Regardless of my desire and affection for you, sweet mortal, you are still among those people." You arched your back, pressing your chest against his when he moved the fabric of your panties aside, sliding a single finger inside you and moving in long, languid strokes. "However now we could perhaps make our little morning discussions a touch more…interesting."

"You have the p-press briefing at eight and--Ohh fuck!" Your grip on his shoulders tightened when he inserted a second finger and curled them upwards, brushing against a spot that had you letting out the most obscene moan that filled his office.

"Such vulgar words from your lucious lips," he panted, stealing another kiss from you, nipping at your bottom lip as he pulled away. "Like watching an angel in the midst of corruption. On her pretty little knees for her god." He brushed against the spot with firmer strokes, making you wetter and turning you into a whimpering mess. "Keep going. What comes after the briefing?"

Your mind was spinning trying to recall. You mentally smacked yourself for struggling to remember when you'd just been committing the schedule to memory on your Uber ride here.

"U-Uhm…You have a pre--a prefatory meeting with Morgan Stark at 9:30 to dis--Fucking hell--To discuss free sustainable e-energy to lower class communities." You kept on frantically combing through your memories of your ride over here to recall the rest of the schedule.

"And what else, sweetheart?" He stilled his fingers while pressed on that same spot, lightly ghosting the pad of his thumb over your clit. "You're already doing so well. Finish it so we may move on to more…pleasurable…activities."

He pressed his lips to the base of your throat, the feel of him sucking lightly on the skin driving you near incoherent. "You--You have a meeting with R & B at three. To fi--" You threw your head back and let out a howling moan, his hand tightening on your back to keep you from falling over. "To finalize the contracts for the Department of Defense. And your security detail."

"Not just my security," he grunted, starting to stroke his fingers again. "Yours, too."

That was enough to break through your pleasure-induced haze by a fraction. "Hold on. What? Sir, I don't need--Ohh!" The rest of your words died with an obscene moan when he started flicking his fingers rapidly inside you.

"You're far too valuable for me to not allocate resources to ensure your safety when I can't protect you myself," he explained, peppering kisses across your collarbone. "Is that all for my day, sweet girl?"

"Y-Yes!" you whined, trying desperately to move your hips for even the tiniest bit more friction. "That's everything."

"Excellent." He moved his hand up to hold you by the back of your neck, letting out a sinful groan when he licked into your mouth. "And you'll be joining me in all of those, won't you?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I always want you with me," he murmured against your slips, letting out a moan of his own when he kissed you again, starting to move his fingers faster and pressing his thumb firmly on your clit. "Now come for me, my sweet mortal. My corrupted little angel. Make a mess on your god's fingers."

Your orgasm overtook you as the god moved his hand to your lower back, guiding your movements as you rode out your high, coating his fingers with your release. Your mind was a haze, the sound of his raspy utterances of your name barely hitting your ears. His chest heaved against yours, lips pressing soft kisses to the side of your face while your breathing evened out.

When he pulled his digits out of you, you let out a whiney groan, already feeling the loss of him. The sight of the god placing his fingers in his mouth, his sinfully dexterous tongue lapping up every drop of your juices from his skin, had you squirming in his lap all over again.

"More already?" he teased, pulling you in for another kiss. You could faintly taste yourself on his tongue. "What a beautifully insatiable little mortal you are. It's as if the Norns had made you just for me." His hands freely roamed your back while he kissed his way down your neck, sucking a bruise onto your collarbone. "I've indulged myself in such fantasies of claiming you on every surface of this office. Of every room in this house. I want to lay you down on my desk without a stitch of clothing on you and get drunk on the taste of you."

You could only respond with a faint whimper, images of what he'd described taking up all the space in the forefront of your mind. "Please…"

"I promise you we'll have all the time to make every single one of those debauched fantasies come to life, sweet girl." He kissed you again, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the table, softly chuckling against your lips when you started to pout at your feet hitting the ground. "But I want our first night together somewhere more intimate. A moment that shouldn't be rushed and stolen between meetings, held in secrecy in my office."

He held your chin delicately between his fingers, keeping you from looking away at him. The mere sight of the near fully blacked out eyes shining with sincerity and held back words was enough to have your knees buckling again.

"Later tonight," he continued. "When everyone's day is over, then our night can begin. I'll bring you to my private quarters and there…" He took a deep breath, a brilliant smile stretching across his face, a real one so starkly different from the practiced smirks he gave the public. "There I will make love to you."

He guided you to take a step back from him, your heart fluttering when he placed a soft kiss to your forehead before conjuring a majestic golden mirror into the room with a flick of his wrist. The image of you visibly disheveled, paired with the smeared lipstick marks all over President Loki's face, had you biting your lip trying to hold back a smile of your own.

You held the undone ribbon of your dress between your fingers. "And here I spent a good ten minutes on this trying to look all perfect," you told him playfully, a fit of giggles finally escaping you when he took the straps from your hands and used them to pull you to him once again, capturing your lips in a tender kiss.

"Much as I appreciate the effort and having you look as if you'd gift-wrapped yourself just for me with this lovely little flourish, may I say that it matters not how you dress. You were already perfect the day I first saw you on the campaign floor."

"I was wearing a ratty old sweater from college," you shot back, finding it hard to breathe.

"The color of the sky on a stormy day." He brushed his nose against yours, pressing a soft kiss to the tip. "Turn around. Face the reflection."

When you faced the mirror again, he redid the ribbon exactly as it was when you left your apartment with a wave of his hand, kissing along the side of your face as he put your clip back in your hair.

"There you are, sweetheart," he cooed, nipping at the shell of your ear. "Not a hair out of place." Another wave of his hand and he, too, had returned to his state before you walked into the office. "I'd very much like for you to join me for breakfast."

You answered only with a nod, reaching for his hand.

As he led you down the halls toward the dining room, you sent Tasha a quick text.

About what you said earlier…fingers don't count, right?

A/N: It's finally done! The initial 5 stories goal of Kinktober 2023 are all up and I'm finally going back to writing the series I haphazardly dropped when I decided to write these pieces over a month ago. And I finally have a President Loki story in my little library of works 😳👀

I swear I didn't expect to write such a mega chonker for the first President Loki story but I got all kinds of carried away…so much so that there are scenes that I cut from the final draft that might become drabbles somewhere down the line.

For now though…back to the blorbos of 'one look & they'll know', 'relinquish the crown', 'the final Lady Sharpe', 'let me hear you', 'rules of conduct', 'feels like mine'…and some other not-so-secret projects 😳👀

Ohh…and that bit in the end where he pulls on the ribbons of her dress? This was fully the vibe:

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @superficialdomina @anukulee @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog

Kinktober taglist: @azula-karai-27

[darkfictionjude]

I've followed blogs without a demo before and while sometimes it has paid off - I find myself doing it less and less overtime because all too often I go back to a blog 3/4 months later and find it dead with no demo.

That being said in a lot of cases the demos never being finished feels like a cycle of :

*wanting to foster interest and community around your writing* -> *writing an IF is a huge task and it takes longer than expected to learn coding/write a branching narrative/limit story scope to a feasible level* -> *interest dies down because it has been a long time with no demo* -> *low/no interaction on posts ends up feeling demotivating especially when compared to other IF authors so they lose passion for the project*

To compromise, on my part I don't often follow blogs with no demo but if I'm genuinely interested in the story I try to go back to the blog and like/reblog posts or ask questions if there's anything I'm curious about. I definitely think you should write what you want for yourself without necessarily expecting attention - but attention and interaction is always going to feel good regardless.

At the end of the day as an audience member you're never actually 'owed' free content (especially given that its more often then not a passion project) so I have no hard feelings for writers who make demo blogs just to share some fun info about their characters/story and then dip - even if it can feel disappointing.

It 100% feels weird/kind of scammy to have a patreon if you haven't actually written anything though, because you're taking money from people (who often don't have huge amounts in the first place) before they even know if they like your writing/world/story - and before they know if you're capable of actually fulfilling any of the promises you make (which given that IF is generally much longer than a traditional novel is a *massive* promise to make to your audience in exchange for their financial support).

After an author has dropped a demo (even before any/consistent updates) patreon is all good in my book. At that point the audience has a 'sample' of the writing and can use that as a method to judge if they enjoy it. As long as the promised content on the patreon tiers are being fulfilled - you as an audience member are now getting what you've paid for - and can unsubscribe at any point if you no longer wish to keep paying for it.

Yeah I do feel like writers tend to want to work on something that will sell, and why not? It feels good to know your hard work is recognized and appreciated

This is a very nuanced take, I feel that some people even get angry when writers disappear, which yeah I’ve been burned before but like I don’t understand getting pissed when at the end of the day there are more games out there and as you said, no one is owed free content. IF writers are hobbyists, like this is a side thing for most of us it’s a gruelling hobby not only work load wise but also if you unfortunately get anons being mean to you

Yeah I didn’t want to say that but it does feel strange when there’s no work but there’s a Patreon. Because Patreon is just additional writing, it’s meant to be complementary to the main work. People pay for additional writing because they hope it adds to their experience when reading the IF proper.

I mean based on the name it is a modern version of being a painter in Europe during the renaissance and have a richer patron pay you to make art 😭

[micamicster]

HII MICA i just wanted to ask your thoughts in the new season now that youve finished it, especially your favorite moments, episodes, and songs!!

Ok here are my long awaited (sorry babe!) season 2 thoughts! This really got away from me haha but long story short: I loved it ❤️

Long story medium: Nida Manzoor has done it again—beautiful, vibrant, funny, and poignant. A season 2 that succeeds in expanding the world and deepening our understanding of the characters. And the songs are great!

Long story LONG: under the cut <3 (and also I’ve reread this and i have managed to avoid any major spoilers so if you haven’t watched yet this post should be safe!)

I went into this season VERY apprehensive. I think the first season is a practically perfect season of television, and over the last few years I’ve had plenty of time to think of all the ways a second season could fail to deliver. But as the credits rolled on season 2 episode 1 my sister and I just sat there grinning at the screen like you guys we are SO back!!!!

Some thoughts, in no particular order:

The writing: Nida Manzoor has a knack for putting her finger right on the sore spot—right on the place where the show is most likely to receive criticism, and digging in. Not in a gotcha, bad faith sort of way, but by pulling those issues apart and showing how painful and complicated and nuanced these questions of representation and responsibility really are. Not to give too many spoilers but whew. Her episode fives! Other people can speak to this better than me but this seasons episode 5 was raw, painful, pointed… simultaneously a criticism of art and representation as political commentary, and like the only possible political commentary that could be made under these conditions. Fictional battles with censorship, identity, representation, and responsibility meet the very real world, where Nida Manzoor is producing a real show. To quote manzoor herself, “i don’t want to give the answer to the audience because i don’t have it—I don’t want to ever feel like I’m preaching or delivering a sermon about anything; instead, just posing the question.” It’s such a good show guys.

Character Arcs: The arcs given to the band members who were secondary characters in season one were executed beautifully. Getting more insight into Taz, Ayesha, and Bisma (and giving more to do to their incredible actresses!) was exactly what I’d hoped for from a season 2.

God I Wish The Show Was Longer part A: While I loved (and badly wanted!) more time with the other girls, I did miss the tight focus on saira and Amina as narrative foils and drivers of each others character development that season one had. Not just from a shipping perspective! (although we all know I’m guilty of shipping for sure lol). But I did miss their relationship, and a longer season would have given us more time to spare from the other important arcs going on to return to things I loved about season one.

Compared to season 1: One difference I noticed was how the surrealist elements aren’t only contained to Amina/her narration anymore, but that other characters have them or interact with them (Bisma pausing her arguments, Ahsan trying and failing to interrupt the spotlight on Amina and Billy). I thought it was a great way to show how much closer the characters have become (that Ahsan would even notice Amina’s little fantasy!) and also as a way to give narration over to different characters (Bisma being the clear pov in those fights as compared to Amina narrating things she’s only heard about in season 1). Another difference is how each episode of season 1 is so well-contained and precise, while I feel the show sprawls more in season 2 as a result of expanding the world and becoming more of a true ensemble show. This isn’t a criticism—shows need to expand in order to continue to grow! Just an observation, which leads us to:

God I Wish The Show Was Longer part 2: Around episode 4 and 5 I wondered if they were going to be able to tie everything up, given how many complex issues and conflicts had been raised. I had no reason to doubt—Nida Manzoor brought these conflicts and arcs to deeply satisfying conclusions, without feeling like these issues lost nuance or were reduced in complexity for the sake of a finale. It’s incredible what all she managed to achieve in 6 episodes! That said, I would have loved to have been able to see more of the characters journeys, and one or two more episodes would have given things more room to breathe. I would have loved to see more of Taz’s work with other artists, or Saira becoming more comfortable with the idea of herself as a mentor. Bisma’s arc in particular I thought could have used more time, although Faith Omole’s stunning performance of Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood does beautiful emotional work for her arc (and tbh for everyone else’s arcs—it’s a centerpiece of the episode and a great example of what a song can do for character, emotion, and arc in a musical narrative). Which brings us to!

The performances/songs: Putting these two together to say that every actress delivered an incredible award-worthy performance, juggling comedy and dramatic acting skillfully. And the songs! Villain Era is on fucking repeat in this house. Already said Misunderstood is amazing but it should be said again. Nina is pretty much the toughest act in the world to follow but Faith fucking does it. Stunning ❤️ Speaking of Faith her doing the voices in Oops I Did It Again was the happiest I’ve been all year oh my god this show is so much funnnnnnn everyone watch it it’s so! fun!

[xofanfics]

Lost for Words - Part II

Part I | Part II | Part III

Genre: angst, fluff, smut 🥺🤗🥵

Pairing: Reader x Kun // Reader x Taeyong

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: You have the best boyfriend you could’ve asked for. Things take an interesting turn as you befriend your new coworker, exploring the blurred lines between friendship and something more.

Taeyong’s thoughts revolved around you for the rest of the weekend and for the three weeks that followed. He found himself thinking about you more and more as the days went on, even outside of work. They started out as simple thoughts; just flashbacks at how beautiful you’d looked that morning. Then the thoughts got a little more complex. He’d look at menus and think about all the foods you told him you liked. He’d make a note to himself to tell you all about it and give you that recommendation. But then he took it even further by imagining himself taking you there someday, on a date. He wondered what it would be like to kiss you, to hold you so close that he could easily smell the scent of your perfume. 

He hated the fact that you weren’t single. He hated the fact that you had a boyfriend. He hated the fact that he had absolutely no chance with you. He knew he had no right to feel this way, but he couldn’t help himself. His thoughts and feelings were just that - thoughts and feelings, where they would remain in his mind and heart until he decided to move on. An even more delusional side of him even wondered if there was the possibility of you and your boyfriend breaking up.

It was pretty early on into their relationship, but he knew that he could see himself with you. It’d been a month and a half and he felt like you’d gotten considerably close with him. The team was pretty close, in general, though, so Taeyong had a hard time understanding if this was how you acted with everyone. 

Today, he had a meeting with you to discuss his findings from a marketing campaign that just ended. You would normally have this meeting with the rest of the team, but Taeyong honestly just wanted to have some time alone with you. He presented it to you under the guise of wanting to give you the information as soon as possible. He insisted that he’d just do the full presentation next week, once Valentina had returned from her maternity leave. 

The two of you didn’t have meetings alone often, so Taeyong was enjoying every second of it. He watched as you listened to his findings. He loved how attentive you were and how you always had a question or two. Plus, the longer you talked, the more time he got to spend with you. 

He was well aware that you were his coworker. He knew that you should probably stay that way, but he couldn’t help feeling so drawn to you. Even your other team members praised how well you worked together. Workplace relationships were almost always a bad idea, right? But in the delusional side of Taeyong’s mind, he thought that he could make it work whether anyone knew about it or not. Of course, he would prefer no one knowing. He wouldn’t want you to be the target of gossip. Even if they were just words, Taeyong knew all too well how hurtful words could be. 

“I hope that all made sense,” he said, “but I think that audiences responded really well to the new templates we used for the email. We tested two different ones but it seemed like the new one performed better.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. We can definitely try that for new products moving forward. I think the new template was easier to read, with more white space.”

“I think that maybe changing up the templates on social media would also be helpful. I’d love to test that as well. I can bring up that idea in the larger meeting next week. How does that sound?”

You nodded. “That would be great. Thank you for your help on this. It really helps to go over this information.”

“No problem,” he said as you turned toward the door. He could see your coworkers gathering by the entrance. “By the way, are you joining everyone for lunch? I hear they’re trying a new soup place.”

You shook your head. “Nah. I’m not really in the mood for soup.”

“What are you in the mood for?”

You chuckled. “Honestly? I was thinking of going to the convenience store and having lunch there.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, joining in your laughter. 

“What’s wrong with the convenience store?”

Taeyong shrugged, teasing. “I mean, nothing…I guess.”

“Wanna join?”

“Sure,” he said. “It’s hump day, the perfect time for a cheat meal.”

You giggled as Taeyong opened the door for you. 

*

You enjoyed Taeyong’s company a lot, you realized. You felt like you could be yourself with him around. He was friendly with everyone, of course, but it seemed like you had a lot in common with him. Everyone at the office seemed to like him, too. He was a breath of fresh air, honestly. 

You talked about a lot of things but it seemed like you were having deeper conversations today. You talked about your childhood and how your parents struggled to put you through college and how you never knew until your parents told you that they were selling the house. The three bedroom home that you and your sister had known your whole lives was sold and they moved into a smaller home, further from the city. You told him how you always felt bad about it and how you should’ve gotten a job despite your parents telling you you didn’t need to. 

“Hey,” he said, noticing the melancholic aura, “none of those things are your fault…”

“I know,” you said, “but I wish things had been different back then.”

“If you could change one thing in the past, would it be that?”

You nodded. “I would’ve worked so they didn’t have to sell the house.” You turned to him after taking a bite of your noodles. “Is there anything you would change?”

Interestingly enough, Taeyong shook his head. “I don’t think so.” Noticing your surprised face, he added, “Life sucked a year ago, I’ll admit, but I wouldn’t be where I am today. And I like the way things are going in my life right now. I mean, I like the work I’m doing and I have a team that respects me. I’m also moving into a much nicer apartment in a couple of weeks.”

“That’s amazing. Do you need anything for the apartment? I’d love to get you something.”

“I was debating on having a housewarming party after I move in, actually.”

“You should! It would be fun.”

“I have a few friends that would be able to come. And I’d love to invite a couple people on the team, too. My friend, Hwan, would probably bring his girlfriend. You can bring yours, too, if you want.”

“Yeah,” you said, “I’d be down to come.”

***

Valentina had returned from her maternity leave, a month later, with fresh energy. Among the team, she found herself naturally drawn to Taeyong. His intelligence and unwavering enthusiasm for learning resonated with her deeply. Valentina had always held hard work in high regard – after all, it had propelled her to her current high-level position at the youthful age of thirty-three. Life was starting to come together for her; she was recently married and had welcomed her first child into the world. With her momentum, a promotion within the next couple of years seemed well within reach.

As she entered the meeting room, the soft sound of her heels pierced the air. Her lips curved into a warm smile as she greeted the room with a confident "Good morning." Setting down her cup of coffee, she took her designated seat at the head of the table.

“Morning, Valentina,” you said.

“Does anyone need to dial in today?” asked Taeyong, “We should set up the video conferencing.”

“I think it’s just Hina working from home today,” you said. “She had to have a repairman come in to fix her plumbing.”

Taeyong nodded and went to the computer to set up the camera. Then, David walked in with his laptop and a grin. He sat down at the other end of the table. 

A moment later, Taeyong had set everything up and Hina was on the screen. She waved to everyone and Valentina began.

“I called everyone here this afternoon to provide an exciting update. We understood that a few of you mentioned wanting to attend more conferences and conventions taking place in the industry as we went through last quarter’s employee survey,” she explained. “Due to the number of people that requested, we intend on buying extra tickets for those that are interested in attending. It would be a great opportunity to learn more about our competitors and attend keynotes. This is a new initiative for the company’s commitment to professional development.”

The room was filled with excited chatter and agreeable nods as she went on. She continued, “David and I will be presenting our upcoming product launch, along with a few other high level members of the company. The convention will be taking place in Incheon at the Songdo Convensia Center and we will be staying at the Hanuri Lotus Hotel, which is within walking distance to the convention center. If you’re interested in accommodations, of course, be sure to let us know. It’s coming up next month, so please make decisions soon. I’ll send out an email to follow this meeting with all the necessary information!”

Following the announcement, anticipation filled the air, a collective enthusiasm rippling through the team members. 

By lunchtime, it was all anyone could talk about. As you, Hina, Taeyong, and Kevin stepped out for lunch, the topic of conversation was the conference. It was taking place in the next three to four weeks. Thankfully, you hadn’t made any plans. Kun had mentioned taking a trip at the end of the summer, but that would have to wait.

"I didn't see that coming," Kevin commented, a hint of surprise in his voice. "I mean, we never have the budget for anything…"

Taeyong chimed in, sounding intrigued. "Seriously? You think so?"

Hina joined the conversation with a sarcastic smile. "Oh, absolutely. They're all about decking us out with the latest tech, but when it comes to travel and conferences, suddenly there’s no money" She let out a slight eye roll before returning to her noodles.

You nodded in agreement. “Yeah. They’re usually super strict about budget but I hope this means they’ll invest in us a little more so we can get promoted.”

Taeyong turned to you. “Is getting a promotion hard here?”

Kevin shook his head. “Not necessarily, but I think there’s more room for it now that the marketing and creative teams have been expanding. Honestly, the place was a mess before Valentina came. I’ve been here for about four years and Valentina has been here for a little over two. I went from an intern to a full time employee.”

“Me and Y/N came after. Valentina hired us both.”

Taeyong nodded. “Are you guys going to go to the conference?”

"Absolutely!" The collective response came almost in sync, a chorus of agreement filling the air.

Taeyong let out an airy laugh. “Well, I guess I’ll see you all there.”

***

Despite going into the office everyday, it still seemed like you had nothing to wear. You sifted through your closest, unsatisfied with almost all of the options available. Too business casual, you thought. Not fashionable enough. This was a conference, after all, and you needed to present yourself in a better way. With these sorts of events, you never knew who you’d meet and what opportunities could arise. It’s not that you were looking to leave the company, but you never knew where life would take you.

You started browsing online, looking for more fashionable pieces to add onto your weekend fashion itinerary. Kun placed a mug of chamomile tea on the coffee table for you and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“Still looking for an outfit?” he asked, taking his place next to you on the couch.

You nodded. “Yeah. I saw this really nice pantsuit. Wanna see?”

“Sure,” he said as you went ahead and pulled it up on the screen. “What do you think?”

“I think it’d look gorgeous on you,” he said, “but four hundred dollars?”

“That’s the cost of beauty, babe.”

At that moment, he pulled out his wallet and handed you his credit card. “Buy it. I’d love to take it off of you,” he said, giving you a suggestive grin.

“I’ll be in Incheon, babe,” you explained, taking the card.

“Well, you’ll be in a hotel room, won’t you?”

“I don’t know if we’ll have roommates or not…”

“Well maybe I’ll just have to book a room of my own then,” he said, placing gentle kisses on your neck. “Would you come to visit me?”

***

Taeyong looked at himself in the mirror after he got out of the shower. He sighed, unsatisfied. I need to get back in the gym, he thought. With all of what came with moving from one apartment to the other, he’d been busy trying to get back into his routine.  

Most evenings after work, he was too tired to unpack more than a few boxes. The more he unpacked, the more he wished that he’d hired someone to do this. But he was almost there. It’d been a little over two weeks since he moved in but he somehow found himself living out of the boxes instead of unpacking properly. 

But between the convention coming up and the housewarming he was planning, he needed to put some pep in his step. 

He reached for his new moisturizer, courtesy of their generous employee discount. He heard his phone vibrate on the sink as he applied it but he didn’t bother looking, as he figured it was just a random notification. 

A few moments later, he was sitting on his bed in a pair of shorts. He picked up his phone with a smile as he realized that you were the one who texted him. 

Y/N [9:12PM]: I got your invitation earlier. I RSVP’d with a plus one! 

Y/N [9:12PM]: Btw, do you have a registry?

Taeyong [9:13PM]: You don’t need to buy anything. You guys coming is more than enough!

Y/N [9:16]: I’ll get you something you won’t expect haha

He hated the fact that he’d brought up inviting your boyfriend. But what did he expect? For you to not ask him and for him to not show up? Of course, you’d probably want him to meet your friends. But maybe it would serve as a reality check. Maybe seeing you with your boyfriend together would snap him out of it. Maybe it would snap him out of it so he could realize that he couldn’t have you. Maybe it would be the push he needed to go out on dates so that romance with you wouldn’t even cross his mind.

But, his heart still thumped at the thought of you coming anyway. He couldn’t wait to impress you with his event. He wanted you to taste his cooking. For the past couple of weeks, he’d made note of all the things you mentioned you liked or food he’d seen you eat. So far, it seemed like one of your favorite things to eat was dumplings. And, when you could, you’d opt for seafood. When you went out, he noticed that you’d choose seafood noodles over beef or chicken. He had some ideas of what to put on the menu, for sure. 

He hadn’t had the opportunity to hang out with you outside of a work setting. Sometimes he’d get a drink with you and Hina after work but there was never a time when he hung out with you on a Saturday or a Sunday. It had been about three months since he met you, so he supposed that this wasn’t unusual. If anything, he’d have to tread a little more carefully since he worked with you. He knew that people didn’t always care to be friendly and hang out with their coworkers outside of a work related event, but you struck him as the open-minded type. Hell, you’d opened up to him so much already, which had been a bit of a surprise. 

The conference was also coming up. He was excited to go, in general, but he was also excited to potentially spend time with you. He’d never been on a work trip like this before but he was excited. Kevin was apparently already making plans for them to go out at night, after the conference and team dinner. 

He fantasized about getting you alone, just to talk to you without everyone there. He knew that there was a line that couldn’t be crossed. But he genuinely enjoyed talking to you. There was no harm in that. Even if he sometimes looked at your lips and wondered what they tasted like. Even if he sometimes thought about the sweet things he’d whisper into your ear if he could. Even if he wondered what would happen if you hugged him and he didn’t let you go. After all, there was no harm done in his wonderings.

***

General Taglist: @to-all-the-stories-i-love​ @sweetnspicy-noona​

THANK YOU FOR READING! LMK if you want to be tagged in the next part!

[gunilslaugh]

Hiiiii! What are your thoughts about Xdinary Heroes during their wedding day? How would everything go? 🥺

Hiii! Writing this made me feel a bit sappy, but it was cute. I hope the you like it :]

All members ∂ * ^ * ∂

Summary: How Xdinary Heroes are on their wedding day.

WC:~1.2k

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner.

Gunil

Gunil readjust his tie for the nth time. He’s a bit nervous, but the good kind of nervous. Today is the day where he gets to marry you, the love of his life, and he is ecstatic. Gunil checks the time, the ceremony will be starting soon. You and Gunil both agreed to not see each other before the wedding. A decision Gunil partly regrets because at the moment he wants to see you more than anybody else. He settled for sending you a text. “See you soon love ❤️” . He somehow becomes even more overjoyed when he gets your response. “See you soon future husband 🥰” .

The ceremony begins. Gunil waiting for you at the altar. The moment you enter the room Gunil’s breath hitches and his heart skips one or maybe two beats. You look absolutely gorgeous and Gunil feels like the luckiest man ever. He cutely stumbled over his vows, kissed you with so much love after you were announced married and bridal carried you out of the room, more than ready to spend the rest of his life with you.

Jungsu

Jungsu had been thinking about this day for a very long time and it has finally arrived, the day of your guys wedding. In less than an hour you two would be a married couple. Jungsu just got his hair finished. He checks himself over in the mirror, making sure that he looks perfect. Loads of planning went into today, so Jungsu wants to make sure that it’s everything you’ve dreamed of. He runs over his vows again in fear that he might forget them. He spent weeks figuring out the perfect words to say. 

Tears well up in Jungsu’s eyes as you make your way down the aisle. It’s a sight that Jungsu will never forget. He holds your hands tenderly once you finally reach him. His eyes are filled with love (and some tears). When it comes time for the vows Jungsu recites his words that took him weeks to figure out and they’re some of the most beautiful words you’ve ever heard. The kiss he presses to your lips is light and delicate, being a bit shy about the audience. Once the two of you exited the room, now married, he’ll give you another kiss.

Gaon/Jiseok

Jiseok is unable to remain still. He’s bouncing off the walls with excitement. How could he not be when the two of you are getting married today. He used to imagine what it would be like to marry you, what your wedding would look like. Now he no longer has to imagine any of it because it’s real, it’s happening. Jiseok almost can’t believe it either. Everything feels surreal right now. Him standing in his suit waiting for his cue to go to the altar where he can finally marry you.

Standing at the altar Jiseok can only see you as you walk down the aisle. Even as the marriage officiant speaks Jiseok can hardly understand what he is saying because he’s too mesmerized by you. He wrote out and planned his vows, but they seem to have gone out the window, so he just speaks from the heart. He kisses you with one hand cupping your cheek and the other not letting go of your hand. He looks at your wedding ring adorning your hand as you two walk out, married.

O.de/Seungmin

Seungmin is more nervous than he thought he would be. It’s a good nervous, an excited one. He checks the laces on his dress shoes because he’s suddenly worried about tripping. He was finally going to marry you. The two of you used to jokingly talk about your wedding day, but that day has actually arrived now. Your friends can no longer tease you both about acting like a married couple because you’re actually going to be one and Seungmin couldn’t be happier about it.

The second the doors open revealing you standing there Seungmin feels like he’s falling in love with you all over again. Sliding the wedding ring onto your finger reminds Seungmin of when he bought you a promise ring all those years ago. He stated it in his vows that he finally fulfilled his promise of turning that ring into a wedding ring cause he just wants to spend the rest of his life loving you. The kiss he gives you is delicate and passionate. He picks you up and twirls you around before setting you down to exit the building as newlyweds. 

Junhan/Hyeongjun

Hyeongjun and you agreed on wanting to have a small wedding, with only your close friends and family. Hyeongjun thinks that it makes the wedding feel more intimate. Hyeongjun’s heart is filled with warmth about the two of you tying the knot and coming together as one. The moment before the ceremony begins Hyeongjun finds himself rather calm. He’s excited of course the moment he dreamed of is finally coming true. 

The moment you entered the room and began to walk down the aisle Hyheongjun’s face is painted with a bright smile. He always thinks that you’re beautiful, but you are exceptionally beautiful right now. Hyeongjun carefully holds your hands in his and gives them a loving squeeze. He poured out his love for you while reciting his vows and even teared up a bit. The only time his bright smile left his face was when it was time for you two to kiss. It was quick, but warmhearted. The two of you exit hand in hand ready to embark on another life journey together and it almost doesn’t feel real for Hyeongjun, but the way you squeeze his hand reminds him that it is.

Jooyeon

Jooyeon is bouncing up and down, buzzing with excitement. He is thrilled that today has finally arrived, the day that he gets to marry you. Jooyeon recalls the days his members would tease him about arguing with you. Claiming that you two sounded like a married couple. Now, in about an hour, you two are really going to be a married couple, it makes him laugh a bit. He can’t tell if the minutes are passing by fast or slow. All he knows is that he can’t wait to be standing next to you.

Jooyeon’s heart picks up at the sight of you entering the room. It hammers harder the closer you get. Jooyeon doesn’t think there will be a day where you don’t affect his heart and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s a bit clumsy at slipping the ring onto your finger, but it’s oddly endearing. In his vows Jooyeon says that there is no one else he would rather spend his life with than you. He’s very excited to kiss you when the time comes and even more excited once the ceremony is finished and you two are now married. He hugs you while jumping up and down.

[glassprism]

Hi, maybe it's a silly question because it's irrelevant in the performance but...

What do you prefer? Wedding dress in final lair or PONR costume as well?

I notice now it's very commun to see Christine's PONR costume in this part of the show in severals non-replicas (Italy, Spain, Greece...). In my opinion, Wedding gown have so potencial and it's so sad to see how this production desicion deny us of to see variants of this costume.

I hope you have a great week

Bye

I definitely, definitely prefer seeing the wedding dress in the 'Final Lair' over the Aminta dress.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand why many non-replicas forgo the wedding dress: it can be just another expensive costume on top of a show that can be fairly costly (all those different period costumes, the Phantom's lair sets, faux opera sets, not to mention the chandelier itself), plus the way many non-replicas are set up, there's just not enough time for them to do the quick change from the Aminta dress to the wedding dress. I get it, and I don't really get fussed about it.

But on a thematic and symbolic level, the wedding dress wins. First, the wedding dress is just one of the best visual shortcuts to tell any audience member who is still unaware that, yes, this is what the Phantom intends to do to Christine: marry her, willingly or not, and with all the consequences expected thereafter. One can easily imagine that Christine figures this out too; why else would she demand of the Phantom, "Am I now to be prey to your lust for flesh?" Yeah, it doesn't really affect the performance, Christine can react this way whatever dress she's in technically, but I think seeing her in that wedding dress can certainly help audience members understand the state she's in, her fear and horror.

Within the show, it also acts as the "payoff" to the "setup" that's the Mirror Bride. We see the Mirror Bride in the wedding dress during the first lair scene, which is a pretty massive hint at how the Phantom views Christine; when we reach the second lair scene, it's Christine in that wedding dress, taking on that role (if against her will) that the Phantom envisioned for her. There's also some nice parallels, possibly unintentional, in Christine being in a white dress in both lair scenes - first the dressing gown, now the wedding gown.

And if you really want to get meta, you can say something about the Phantom trying to force Christine into the role of the passive doll that the Mirror Bride is, and that Christine arguably was during 'Music of the Night' when she was entranced; and you can also note how it shows Christine growth and the fact that she's not a passive doll, in that she resists the Phantom at every turn in the 'Final Lair', no longer acting as the hypnotized object of desire who's happy to be led around by the Phantom.

Where was I going with this? Oh yeah... anyway, wedding dress for the win.

[apathologicalpeoplepleaser2]

Now that I have had time to digest the final season of "YOU", I want to share more of my thoughts (under the cut because of the spoilers):

The fact that Joe was starting to slip up and make mistakes and that he is shown not to be this 24/7 prince charming-mastermind he thinks he is makes 100% sense (shooting him in you know where was a step too far and too on the nose, though).

His mother and his step-brother should've been more involved, in one way or another.

I wanted to see more of Paco. It makes sense that he would be thankful to Joe for protecting him and his mother from Ron, but I wanted to see him be more conflicted. This would've been a great way to represent how complex it feels when someone who you have idolized and looked up to has done good things for you but now, years later, many all not that good and non-excusable things are coming into the light of day. How you can be thankful, in disbelief, scared and angry at the same time at the situation like that. I hoped they had shown him and Joe talking. Maybe Paco visiting him in prison? That would've been ouch and messy in the best way.

I didn't like Kate all that much in season 4, but most of her actions in season 5 won me over. Still, the ending would've been more effective and reasonable if she had died in the fire. The show can be about feminism, girl-power and taking back your agency without the female characters not facing consequences.

Henry should've been shown to live with the people Joe took him from or with Teddy.

Speaking of Teddy, I was so scared that his fate would be similiar to Forty's, so I was so happy that he survived.

I still don't understand why Bronte/Louise is so hated. Is it because we don't like to be mirrored and called out by a fictional character? Because that's what she is - a representation of an audience member. At first, she portrays Joe's perfect victim to mentally trap him and to get him to face the music. She thinks that she is above those he has killed before because she sees herself as more clever and immune to such mind games and because she knows about his past. However, bit by bit, she starts to lose herself by her double-life, by getting mesmerized by his charm, manipulation and pretty words and by getting hooked into this kind of "I'm the main character and the key-player in the book"-mindset. In the end, she understands those other woman and that things aren't so black and white and realizes that she is not an exception. (Let's be honest: we might have thought many times: "Why is she and she doing that or falling for that? If I was in that situation for real, I would act so differently and see his deception coming from a mile away!" But if we were truly there in real life, I'm not all that sure we would be necessarily able to do that.) In that way and by releasing herself from Joe's grasp by the help from other people, she learns to see herself clearly - both good and the bad - and starts to build her own future again. He is not her whole life anymore. I think it's pretty damn compelling and realistic. And while I understand that we might have wanted to see someone who had been in this show longer to have stronger influence in Joe's downfall, I also think that we needed the perspective and efforts of someone who knew Beck, the first main female character we were presented to, without the lenses of Joe.

No nod to Ellie and Delilah? Really? I know Jenna Ortega was too busy to appear, but it could've been mentioned that Ellie was one of those people helping to take down Joe.

I thought for sure that we would see more of his trial and him trying to defend himself and failing. It would've also been bittersweet and partly amusing to see him talk with the psychiatrist or priest while being in prison and the familiar contrast between his words and thoughts. (Also, I wanted to see someone beat him up.)

However, making him to still blame everyone else but himself in the end was exactly the right call. One doesn't magically and completely change their life-long thought patterns and habits simply because they are imprisoned and punished by the law.

Him calling out the certain parts of the audience was an excellent touch (most of the words in the letter must've been based on people's tweets and other posts about the show, which is both amusing, alarming and tragic in itself). It also reminds us, that this show is both satire, partly frighteningly realistic picture of today's world and a psychological human trial in one package.

[yuzurujenn]

[2024.05.11] Quardruple Axel May Issue: Takahito Mura – The Evolving Athlete 

Takahito Mura often co-stars with Mr. Hanyu, including in ``Notte Stellata'' and ``Fantasy on Ice.''  From their amateur days to the present, they have deepened their relationship from time to time as two comrades. ※ We asked Mura to talk about Hanyu's evolution as a professional athlete.

(Text by Tatsuya Murao)

--You performed in Notte Stellata last year, and you have just finished the second day today.

Just like last year, I had a very fulfilling time. The theme of the show is "Reconstruction after the Great East Japan Earthquake", so when we skated, we were conscious of the concept of the show when selecting the opening, finale, and even solo numbers. I may have mentioned this last year, but I really feel that the skaters are very cohesive in this ice show.

--Continuing from last year, the opening was choreographed by David Wilson, and the skaters looked like twinkling stars in the night sky.

Yes, the opening and finale both have that kind of image. This time, we have a new member, Javier (Fernandez), so he has lengthened the song a little and changed some parts, but the overall flow and base is the same as last year. It seems that David has brushed up on that.

--What kind of guidance did you receive from David?

For each movement, there is an explanation: 'This is what it means, so this is how you move'. This is especially true for the finale, since the lyrics are in Japanese, I think the audience can listen to the content of the song directly. With that in mind, David asked Satton (Miyahara Satoko), who can speak English, "What do these lyrics mean?", and said, "In that case, the direction of the hands should be this way", or something like that. The finale ('Song of Hope') is a song that brings everyone together and I really like it. It was the same last year, and I could still hear that song playing in my head for a while after the show. It's very moving, and I like how it ends on a high note. I was glad to hear that the song would not change for this year's show. The opening song, combined with the lighting effects, starts from a very fantastical place, with an image of the ``night sky and stars,'' and builds into a magnificent feeling. That song is also the theme of "Notte Stellata", and it fits the image that Yuzu has in mind. Because the theme is so clear, it's easy for us to imagine it, and it's easy for us to skate to it.

--Regarding this ice show, does Mr. Hanyu, the chairperson, have any thoughts on the initiative or any advice given to the performers and staff about how they should skate?

At the opening, there was a quote that said, ``The skaters have put their thoughts into this show,'' and I think that's exactly that, and the feelings of each skater were reflected in the songs. The theme of the show was shared in detail last year, so I wasn't told anything in particular this time. But we could see what Yuzu himself was working on, because we were also rehearsing together. It would be a bit strange to say that we understood his thoughts and that we met his expectations, but I think it's because we're all firming up together, because we're all heading in the same direction, that we're all coming together as one. We are no longer amateur athletes, we are working on the show as professionals, so it goes without saying that we understand this aspect as well.

--Did you get a glimpse of Mr. Hanyu's strong commitment during rehearsals?

I feel like he puts a lot of emphasis on the direction and presentation. This is true for the opening and finale, the collaboration between Yuzu and Daichi Mao, and Yuzu's own program, but he really worked out the details in rehearsals, like the timing of the lighting and sound, and how bright it should be to start from. When he was interacting with the staff, I got the sense that he was very particular about the timing, saying things like, ``It's too late at the moment, so can you please try again?''

--Since turning professional, Mr. Hanyu has been appearing in a number of solo shows, and it seems like that experience has been put to good use in this show.

That’s right. In the case of "Saturday Night Fever", a collaboration between Keiji and myself, Yuzu himself told MC Gamada (Ken), "You can hype it up a bit more. I think it would be good if we could get the audience more excited before the show starts".

--I saw it yesterday on the first day of the show, and the whole venue was extremely excited.

The audience was really excited. Keiji and I said, "‘Saturday Night Fever’ is the most nerve-wracking" (laughs). Of course I'm nervous about my solo, but I'm more nervous about this one.

--I was thinking that it might be a bit more relaxing for two people to do it together, but on the contrary, it's nerve-wracking.

Quite the opposite really, I get really nervous (laughs). In a sense, a lively, danceable number like 'Saturday Night Fever' shouldn't be uncool, right? Keiji and I were saying to each other, “Are we going to be OK, are we going to be OK?”. I was also worried about the jumps, so there was a sense of tension in that aspect. But I'm very happy that the audience enjoyed it and I could skate while feeling that they were having fun. Today was the second day, so I was grateful that there were many people who knew where the excitement was. There’s one more day left, so I'm going to go all out there.

--As for the collaboration number, there was also ``Carmina Burana'' by Mr. Hanyu and Mao Daichi, which became a big topic this time. What did you think of it?

When I first saw him skating, I asked him, "Isn't it really hard?" He replied, "No, it's actually only about 5 minutes", but he also said, "While the movements seem to be slow, there are very detailed parts that require effort to express them, so it can be difficult at times because I have to hold my breath during those parts." I was watching Mao Daichi's movements as if she was picking up Yuzu, like he was being picked up by a god, that kind of expression is amazing to see in real life. After all, Mao Daichi's divine demeanour is amazing, isn't it? I think it's interesting because it's a combination of two top performers from different genres, and when I watch the program that brings those two together, I think, ``Wow, that's amazing.''

--It feels like Daichi on stage and Hanyu on the ice are working together as one.

Really, it's just overwhelming. At first, I wondered how the collaboration would go, but when I saw them rehearse for the first time, I was speechless. Something like, “… wow, that's amazing…”. “What the hell!” I thought. First of all, Yuzu has a huge presence. On top of that, Daichi's presence was also incredibly large behind Yuzu. Daichi-san's performance changes from the dark atmosphere in the first half to the scene where she changes quickly and becomes pure white in the middle made me think, ``Wow, she's a professional.''

--Mr. Hanyu's performance skills are amazing as he faces Daichi-san.

Yes, I agree. For example, if I were to perform Yuzu’s part, Daichi’s presence would be too strong and I would simply disappear. But I think the reason he can keep himself from being absorbed is because Yuzu has such a tremendous presence.

--It is true that just by standing alone on the rink, in that large venue, Mr. Hanyu gives off the impression that he is in control of the entire place.

At first, when Yuzu starts to skate, I think everyone’s wondering what's going to happen now. As Yuzu skates and Daichi-san suddenly appears, her presence is overwhelming at first. However, as Yuzu's movements become stronger and stronger from the middle, his presence becomes as big as Daichi’s. When I look at that, I think, "As expected."

-- Mr. Hanyu said that the program conveyed the message of experiencing the natural disasters and suffering that humans have no control over, and of resisting it, accepting it, and moving on.

That's how I felt when I first saw it. After all, it’s been true since the “Prologue" stage, his ideas were way ahead of us. When he tried to use games as the theme for RE_PRAY, I was blown away, and I think it would be very difficult for other people to fully express such an idea. In the first place, I think it is truly an extraordinary feat to be able to turn that idea into reality. The same can be said for his quadruple axel challenge. He was also an elementary school kid who said, "I'm going to win a gold medal at the Olympics!” and achieved that goal. Before we knew it, he has reached a truly amazing level and is creating a new era. I guess it’s something he was born with.

--During his amateur career, he has achieved numerous feats in the world of competition, and has defied conventional wisdom. I feel that turning professional has given him more freedom in his ideas.

I think that what we are actually seeing from him now is what he originally wanted to do and wanted to try. My simple impression is that I'm very happy and grateful to be able to see that part up close.

--After such an astonishing collaboration, in the second half, Mr. Hanyu performed a new piece, "Danny Boy".

Yes. I was talking with Akko-chan (Akiko Suzuki) about it, and she said, ``I'm really into programs with this kind of tune that Yuzu skates to.'' His movements really stand out.  During the actual performance, the finale was right after that and we were behind the curtain waiting for our turn, so it was a shame that we could only see a glimpse of the performance. So, the only way to see him doing it at 100% is in the video, but even watching him in practice, there was a part of me that thought it was really great to see Yuzu skating a program like that. Today's open practice was after my own practice, so I went to the rink side and watched it. It's amazing that he can skate songs from various genres, and the way it connects to the finale's “Song of Hope”, it’s like a story.

--Did you have a chance to talk to Mr. Hanyu during the performance?

Well, we do talk a bit during rehearsals and so on. Yuzu has been working on his training and various other things, and he says, “It's tough”, but I’m like, "No, it doesn't look like that at all!" Considering my age, Yuzu is still young, but essentially, performance declines with age. That is the fate of athletes, but he is working hard to build his body to do what he can. I think that's the theme he talked about when he turned professional, his attitude as a “professional athlete”.

--He said that he will continue to evolve physically as well.

In fact, I think so. I think it is extremely difficult to do this without compromising the technical aspects. People tend to think that athletes' bodies are strong because they train hard, but in fact, when the body starts to decline, the rate of decline is huge and fast. Because they are prone to strain at this stage, they may end up with more physical injuries after they retire. So, we have to be careful and make sure that doesn’t happen, but Yuzu is doing the opposite and trying to increase his level. I thought his body and his jump skills were well-honed even when he was competing, but now I feel like he’s in a slightly different realm. That's really what I think every time I see him skating in various places. It was the same when I watched Notte Stellata last year, and it was the same when I watched Fantasy on Ice. I think now, after the "RE_PRAY" performance, his body condition has improved considerably. I really feel that.

--Is there anything you feel that Mr. Hanyu usually pays attention to when it comes to taking care of his body?

When I met him at the dinner hall and so on, I thought that he seems to be eating better now. I haven't seen much of his training since he does them elsewhere, but looking at his physique, I think it's really well-balanced and toned. When you look at him from the side, he looks very thin and slender. However, you can see from the way he stands that he has a really strong body. I would say it's very solid. I feel like his body is perfect. When I met him, I asked him, ``Have you grown taller?'' and he replied, ``I haven't changed.'' But he kind of looks bigger. I feel like he’s taller than when he was competing, and I think it’s because his body has gotten stronger. This is what I thought when we met together for the first time in a while.

--In Mr. Hanyu's documentary program, he said, “I just want to make sure that oxygen gets distributed to my muscles.” “I have to stop thinking in order to get oxygen to my body”. I feel that he is reaching an amazing state.

“I want to get my body moving rather than thinking with my head”, I think that's what you have to strive for in order to handle such a long challenge by yourself. He is definitely doing things that an average skater can't do. Yuzu himself did one performance of his "RE_PRAY" and said, "It's really hard. My body is a wreck." However, compared to “Prologue” in the beginning, he’s definitely able to move better now till the end. 

--That's how he has evolved as a professional athlete.

I think so.

--It's really interesting to see the body from an athlete's perspective. I would also like to ask about Mura's performance. How did you choose the song for your solo performance "West Side Story"?

As expected, I chose it with the theme of the show in mind. In particular, after the Noto Peninsula disaster on New Year's Day, I was struck by the fact that those affected by the disaster definitely have someone they call their "loved one". I chose this song because I wanted to express my feelings towards that person in 'West Side'. I wanted to show that people are not alone. It's like the feelings you have for your friends, lovers, family and each other.

--Who did the choreography?

Mihoko Higuchi-sensei. I had a chance to meet her and she choreographed it last year.

--That's also a new collaboration.

Yes, that's right. When you change choreographers, you also get the characteristics of the choreographer, so there are a lot of movements that aren’t in previous programs. For example, the intervals between steps can be different from what I am comfortable with. So it was very refreshing. There are a lot of turns at the end, but I put in three clusters. I jokingly said, “I’d like to add a step-like feel towards the end”, and Mihoko-sensei said, "That’s it". And the cluster that came out was another difficult one (laughs). It’s not a typical rocker counter loop, but a back-in rocker, a back-in counter and finally a bracket. It's quite hard, this cluster. There are some combinations of turns that I would never have put in if I were competing.

--In that sense, Mura is still evolving.

Well, technically, I think it's really bad. I feel it every day. I normally teach as a coach, but when it comes the time for me to move, I sometimes feel a decline and think, ``Oh, that's not quite right.'' 

--I am reminded once again how amazing it is that you are able to perform so well even though you do not practice all the time, unlike when you were actively competing.

No, no, there is always a sense of crisis. I just can’t find much time to practice on my own.

--On the other hand, by teaching your students, do you have any feedback on yourself?

Teaching athletes has helped me to think about various aspects, such as “How should I improve my current physical condition?'' and “How can I compensate the weak areas with movement?''. My students have various characteristics, each with different qualifications and different jumping styles. I keep this in mind as I teach each of them to help them move more easily. Things I had originally imagined in my mind during competing times, after I started teaching as a coach, I was able to connect them to actual movements and made new discoveries. Sometimes I jump with the kids I'm teaching now, so I think there are some positive aspects there.

--Thank you for your valuable talk. Lastly, please give some words of encouragement to Mr. Hanyu.

Well, it's the same with "Notte Stellata" and the same with "RE _PRAY," and I think there are so many things that only Yuzu can achieve and embody. I'm really looking forward to seeing what you’ll do next, and I'd like you to show us a new world. One thing I'm a little worried about is that you might overdo it someday and break down. That's the only thing I want you to be careful about.

Source: Quadruple Axel 2024 #羽生結弦 SPECIAL pg 52-55 Info: https://x.com/AxelQuadruple/status/1790022696480235669

[aughby]

"The Song I Never Knew"

With his attractive voice that could make a crowd of hundreds feel as though he was singing directly to them, Kai had always been the centerpiece of their band. However, something felt off tonight. The band was scheduled to play at a big event, but Kai's best friend, the pianist, seemed distant. Her usually positive and enthusiastic personality seemed to carry an odd weight, especially when singing the song "Princesa."

"Hey," Kai said to her during their backstage rehearsal. "Why don’t you want to play 'Princesa'? You’re usually the one pushing us to perform it."

She gave him a quick glance and then looked away. She whispered, "It's nothing," as her fingers casually danced over the piano keys, avoiding eye contact.

Confused, Kai frowned. This song was special, but he didn't know why it affected her so much. He had no idea that it had anything to do with her feelings in private. For years, she had been his closest friend, but at some point, she developed feelings for him. She couldn't help but think of "Princesa," the song that always seemed to be for Kai's crush, the girl who was always in the front row. The thought that Kai had composed those words for someone else hurt, and she wasn't sure if she could handle the emotional weight of playing it again.

The band had put a lot of effort into "Princesa," and Kai had dedicated many nights to polishing the song and putting his all into each and every word. However, his closest friend was unaware that the song wasn’t about the girl in the crowd. It was about her—the pianist, who had been by his side for as long as he could remember. Kai had secretly fallen in love with her, never having the guts to say so. He hoped she would notice his gaze at her every time they played the song.

All they could do was carry on with the show. Kai's best friend lightly sat down at her piano as the lights went down and the band members took their places on stage. Unaware of the band's own emotional agony, the crowd erupted in cheers. She kept her head down, her fingers tapping the keys in a machine-like way as Kai started to sing the first notes of "Princesa," his voice gentle but powerful. Each word he sang made her heart ache because it reminded her of all she would never be able to have.

Between verses, Kai stole looks at her, feeling something wasn't quite right. She was obviously struggling, and her typical fire was gone. He couldn’t understand what had changed. They had always been in sync, but tonight felt like they were worlds apart.

The audience exploded in cheers as the song came to an end, but she was unable to stay longer. She got up quickly, abandoning the piano, and went backstage. She ran to a quiet spot, tears beginning to spill. She couldn’t bear it anymore—pretending like she was okay, like she didn’t feel anything. Knowing that Kai was in love with someone else hurt too much.

Kai noticed her sudden departure and quickly followed. He found her backstage, wiping away her tears; her back turned to him.

"Hey," he said softly as he approached closer, trying to figure out what had happened. "What’s going on? Are you okay?"

She refrained from turning around out of fear that her emotions would be obvious on her face if she turned to face him. "I'm fine," she whispered, but her voice was cracked.

Kai's concern grew as he said, "You don't seem fine." He leaned in closer and put a gentle touch on her shoulder. "Talk to me."

She shrugged off his hand and wiped at her face. "Just leave it, Kai. It's nothing."

But Kai couldn’t leave it. He had never seen her like this, and it tore him apart knowing she was upset. "Is it the song? Why do you hate playing 'Princesa' now?"

His question made her heart ache deeply, and she turned to face him for the first time that evening, her eyes sparkling with tears. She broke into a sob as she added, "Because it hurts, okay?" "It hurts knowing that song is for someone else."

Kai’s breath caught in his throat. For someone else? He stared at her, realization slowly dawning on him. "What are you talking about?"

Her voice trembled as she blurted out, "You wrote it for her, didn't you?" before she could stop herself. "The girl who’s always watching us from the front row. Every time you sing it, it feels like a reminder that you’ve fallen for someone else. I just can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt anymore."

As her words sank in, Kai's heart began to beat in his chest. He was unaware that she had been feeling this way. Her pain, her reluctance, her distance—all of it made sense at once.

"No," he muttered, emotion erupting in his voice. "No, you’ve got it all wrong."

She blinked; she was confused. "What do you mean?"

"‘Princesa’ isn’t for her," Kai murmured as he moved in closer, his hand gently cupping her cheek. "It’s for you. It’s always been for you."

Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes widened in disbelief. "What?"

Kai grinned, speaking barely audible. "I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I just... didn’t know how to tell you. So I put it into a song, hoping you’d realize it was about you. But I guess I wasn’t as clear as I thought."

She could not believe what she was hearing, so she just stared at him. All this time, she had been hurting over a misunderstanding. "You... you love me?"

With a nod, Kai wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "Yeah, I do. I always have."

As she gazed into his eyes and realized at last what she had been missing for so long, her heart began to fill with emotion. "I love you too, Kai," she said.

With a growing smile, Kai drew her closer to him and embraced her before she could speak another word. They stood there, holding another in the silence that no longer hurt, and for the first time, the burden of unsaid feelings lifted.

The song that had previously caused them pain now became a symbol of everything they hadn’t said—but everything they felt. And now they had finally found their way to each other.

[cinemabuffoon]

rant incoming!

I fully believe that the expendables series is one of the biggest wasted potentials of a movie series in recent cinema history. This series could have (and should have) leaned heavily into the energy of the expendables 2, which is the best one imo so I might be biased, where it leaned into the fact that it was a bunch of aging action stars from various eras and embraced it instead of constantly trying to hand things over to younger cast members or botching what could have been one of the most entertaining franchises to exist. I mean for goodness sake Jean Claude Van Damme is literally named Vilain and is generic villain™️!!

I personally enjoy these movies because I'm there to watch some of my favorite action stars be cool and shoot up crap and pal around, and thats what it always should have been. Now, it can be as serious or unserious as it wants to be (like I've stated before I lean towards 2 so that's my preference of the ratio) but it should have been focused on this cast of characters. I understand that Stallone had stated with the third movie that he wanted it to open to a wider/younger audience but I really think that was the wrong choice. As far as I've seen from various fan response, we are all here to watch this cast! these guys! Not some younger actors we don't really care about. They should have ham'd it up! Maybe they kill off some mebers every once in a while if they want to keep it interesting. They are the expendables after all! They could bring on so many cool actors too. Imagine if in the expendables 3, instead of being what it is, they brought in some of the female action stars from the 80s / 90s! They could be new additions to the team, a mercenary squad that has a cool, friendly yet competitive rivalship with them, or even as villains! Sigourney Weaver, Linda Hamilton, Uma Thurman, Michelle Yeoh, etc!! So many cool ladies that would have been a fantastic and fun way to keep the movies fresh while staying on brand. Now if they wanted to bring on younger crowds then maybe bring on some more established "modern" action stars then. Ronda Rousey kinda makes sense to me because to my understanding she's fighter in real life. I do think you can bring on newcomers and I'm welcome to it! But I wish they didn't want to hand it over to them. I understand many of these actors are aging and may not want to do this forever and thats completely fine, but i feel that there is a better way then how they went. Also! longer standing villains would be so great! Not necessarily like Thanos but maybe keep them on for more then one movie. Allow establishing time or allow more time to have the battle of good v evil! I.e Vilain was two movies and not one, Stonebanks (who was wasted in 3 smh) given 2 or 3 movies due to his connection with barney or 4 if they had a really good concept/reasoning/writing, etc. There's so much I could probably add and maybe I will later if i think of it but it saddens me to see the state of where this franchise is heading. I hate that Tool hasn't been back once, his arc will never be finished. I hate that so many actors that should be in this arent any more or never will get to be due to its decrease in quality. I hate that the latest movie feels like the lacroix equivalent of a tangerine. I hate that these movies have had more bad than good recently. I know they were never masterpieces, but as someone who loves action films and enjoys many of these actors movies, it was such a fun franchise and one that's potential has been squandered. It's just sad. This is also coming from someone who is relatively new to this series. I didn't grow up with this so I have no nostalgia or anything, I'm not blinded by rose tinted glasses. I'm just a fan who wishes better for this series. I hope we get a movie that absolutely revives and revitalizes this franchise but after 4, I'm not betting anything on it.

feeling like we should have gotten sequels to the A-Team (2010) instead right now

[hyewka]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well and I absolutely adore your stories, really. You’re an amazing person and I can see it.

As a fellow writer I just feel like asking you a question or so.

See, I’ve written like 30-40 or so full fics within the span of half a year or so, right. I even have a few series on my acc that I’ve spent so much of my time on. All of my stories, I enjoy writing them but then when I post them I don’t get much likes or reblogs. Like when I look at the graph it’s always so low.

What do you think I should do to be doing better? Or is it all just chance and luck?

Thank you!!<3

Hi anon! To answer your question, it's not necessarily all up to chance and luck especially on a platform like tumblr. To get higher interactions and to reach a bigger pool of people you should consider a few things!

One: what fandom youre writing for. Generally, to gauge at how active your fandom fanfic community is, check two things; top posts of all year under the most commonly used tag and top recent posts. On moablr, I wouldnt consider a post with 300-500 notes flopping and anything beyond that interval is big on here. In other fandoms, especially bigger ones, this information might be different so considering your fandom base is important in managing your expectations.

Two: what tags you're using. tags are very very important on tumblr. for txt, txt smut tag is the most followed versus using something like tomorrow x together smut. Don't use broad tags either, it wont get you that many interactions. For example, something like kpop smut isn't gonna do much for you.

Tags that work for me in relation to txt smut work: #txt smut, #txt hard thoughts, #txt hard hours, #txt x reader - also if it's not ot5 add the members name in place of txt for example: #yeonjun smut.

Tags I've seen people use that don't work: #txt x gn!reader or anything that identifies the reader like plus size!reader in tags just wont reach that many people.

Also, if you write things like hybrid and sub!idol I'd recommend to use those in tags! Though it seems broad, most people who follow these tags read anything regardless if it's within their fandom space or not.

Three: you have to consider your writing. Too many gramatical mistakes, too niche, the length- all those things matter. If you're writing in English make sure your writing is cohesive and easily understandable. I would say to stay away from writing abbreviations in dialogue or in your writing, things like "tbh" or "bcs" is a little amateurish and might put some people off if it's repeated throughout your work. Just make sure it's decently consistent. And also!! Cant stress this enough but if you're writing a full fic be mindful to not have a lot of very long paragraphs.

If you're too niche, like what you're writing is a fantasy world building driven sex dungeon, there might not be that much demand. I'm not saying to stop writing things that interest you or adjust your hobby to what people want, it's just that the more genre your fic falls under, the more niche it'll get. Meaning a smaller audience. Yandere and dubcon will always appeal to a smaller amount of people so keep that in mind.

When it comes to length, it's not that big of a deal but it might sabotage you. The longer it is, usually the less people interested. Especially if it's smut. Anything over 25k might be too much. Now on the other hand, a fic really small (like a sentence or two so basically a blurb) might not catch someone's attention enough to hit like or reblog. 1k-4k word counts is desired.

This also has to do with summaries, avoid very long summaries. Two to three sentences would do.

Four: how your fics look. check the layouts of your fics, and then compare it to everyone else's. I'm not saying it has to look the prettiest or be very neat, but adding pictures to your fics especially on tumblr REALLY helps with engagement. I also recommend using simple dividers and not to use different fonts for titles, especially tumbrs cursive one. Either three icons that are cohesive with the other or a header that's the size or a little bigger than twt headers dimension.

Five: what's popular on tumblr. This goes hand in hand with the niche point I made earlier but making the switch to x reader instead of a named oc genuinely makes a very, very big difference. Switching from first person narrative to 2nd person, so instead of writing in "I, me, we" use you and your. This also makes a difference.

That's all I think might be hindering your amount of interactions, tags I'd consider the most important. If you want tkwo build a more dedicated followg, I'd recommend opening your requests!

[lock-my-feelings-in-a-jar]

16, 29 and 7

16. "is there/what is a song that has been ruined for you by an ex or a former crush/situationship/relationship"

this is a very good one. no. because nobody holds that much power to ruin things for me. i wouldn't allow it. if something ever feels like it's being ruined for me, i'll take it as a sign that i need to change my perspective of it and/or i'll find something different and better to associate it with. it's the same as learning new habits, you can change anything in any way you want. your world is yours to shape. don't let anybody else shape it for you, because it won't be for you.

29. most OVERRATED band or artist. okay. i'm going to switch the word overrated with overmarketed because i feel like that's a better word for this, actually.

like kiss is usually described as overrated. lots of people like them for whatever reason they have for liking them, that's fine. i like some of their songs, i love that they did good with their version of god gave rock and roll to you, but besides that, i've never understood the MASSIVE hype worldwide. it's SO MUCH. but i know their appearance and stage act and everything was big, and the marketing is always such a huge deal with that too. they've been EVERYWHERE for way longer than i've been alive. even now, i still see things about them. and of course, you put something in people's faces enough, they're gonna know it and a lot of people will like it.

but i also have trouble sometimes processing the fact that hardly anybody likes my favorite bands/artists the way i do, because i listen to it and i'm like "this is SO GOOD" and then nobody else cares and i'm so confused by it. like HOW????????????? but it's the same on the opposite end too, somebody else might be really into something and i'm just not very into it and they'll equally be like "HOW??????"

a problem is, most people i talk to about my favorites, they've never heard of them in their lives. they're not out in anybody's faces that much, so they're less likely to know them or ever listen to them, so how are they supposed to know if they like it unless they go out of their way to listen? and even if they do, it might be just a one-time thing. for me, i usually need to let songs really soak into my head by listening multiple times.

most of the time, people posting songs on tumblr even, almost everybody will just scroll by and not listen. is it too much work to play it? is there too much on their dashboard that they can't listen to everything? is it an inconvenient time to play it, like they're in public with no headphones? are they just not interested in listening to anything different at the moment? or are they not even looking at the dash at the time and they totally miss it? do some people listen and they just don't interact?

and the way i see so many video posts people reblog and they have to beg people to unmute the videos, it's like you have to physically reach into people's heads, plant a speaker in their brains, tape their eyes open and then play it. it FEELS like that's what some bands have been doing to people with the marketing over the years and some are just better at it.

i can't say if a band is overrated, i can only say that i think it reached a very large audience for a very long time and that many people apparently found something more in it that i never did. whether it's the music, the stage performance, the members, the community, etc. i don't know. maybe there's more to it than it seems on the surface.

and i never know when i'll suddenly get really into something i've never been into before. for example, maybe in the future i'll go through a kiss obsession and then understand it. maybe i never will. the brain is very fickle.

okay anyway. 7. "is there/what is a song that always makes you think of your parents?"

yes.

when i was in my mid teens, my parents were in the process of splitting up, they were yelling and arguing a lot and i used to play this song while they were arguing hoping they would hear it and maybe think about the words. not that i wanted them to stay together, but because i thought there were better ways to split up. maybe actually listen to each other and talk it out and be civil about it. respect each other or something. i'd gradually turn up the volume little by little in the middle of their screaming at each other. it didn't work, they had no idea i was even doing that until i brought it up years later after they were divorced.

besides that, i kept using other songs to try to get through to each one separately. point out a line in a song and i'd be like "this is how you feel, right?" and then they'd talk to me about it and i'd let them talk as much as they needed. then i'd do the same to the other one and try to relay the messages back and forth in better ways than if they were actually talking to each other. not sure that helped anything either, but at least i tried and i learned something from it myself.

[ssunstng]

❛ if i say yes, will you shut up? ❜

                                                                        [ meme. ] ---- for kae sieran.

                  the city of eudom ran off complete freedom. most establishments were easy to bribe && pay off, crime was riddled through the never sleeping streets. in attempts to show the COMMONERS that the head’s were at least trying to do something about it, most business heads met up for council once a month. it was something each head couldn’t avoid && because of that, often times the meeting’s would end in some sort of brawl because no one could ever agree on the simplest of things. luckily for sumi, the only complaint she ever heard from the board members were that there were simply not enough girls at her establishment, which she didn’t care for. she wouldn’t take in just ANY withered flower. but as of recent, there was someone && their particular clan causing a RUCKUS at her brothel && she had to make it known to the others that it had become an ISSUE that could no longer be IGNORED.

                  kae sieran && his WHATEVER clan had not only rudely interrupted her girls at WORK once — but now it had become THREE TIMES within the past month. at first, she was paid off to keep the matter between them. if she didn’t know any better it sounded as if sieran just couldn’t get ENOUGH of getting under her skin && her business. too many nights were spent scrubbing blood of the floors && walls because sieran was far too impatient when it came to their hits. it didn’t matter how many times he paid for the cleanings, her business was being affecter && her girls AFRAID to cross paths with their men.

                  forcing an audience to what she was DEALING with because of HIM, a devilish grin ended after her INNOCENT request of having hits BANNED from her house. most of the councilmen agreed, bastardizing sieran under their breaths because how DARE he interrupt immense pleasure in such a horrid way. save it for the streets, not the sheets. lastly, she requested — no, demanded — that he paid for TRAUMA EXPENSES && that he was no longer welcome to enter through her doors. it seemed like everyone was in agreement && that made sumi beam, eyes brightening like no one’s seen before as she watched sieran crumble where he sat.

                  ❛    if i say yes, will you shut up   ?     ❜      she could SMELL the defeat of his words, it took her everything not to laugh out loud — && that was just be MEAN. 

                  ❛      thank you for being SO understanding, kae sieran. let’s hope you’re a good little boy && listen.     ❜   && with that her head turned away from his, long straight hair flipping && providing a curtain between the two. she could FEEL his glare, sense his seething — but she sat with a smile. sumi had WON.

[rainswept]

ngl i had to take a fat nap after that response ☹️

i have genuinely never felt so overwhelmed with emotion before, now we're in the same boat because i don't even know what to say to tell you exactly how much i enjoyed reading all of it. i got that whole eyes burning going on n shit and im having a very fun awesome time trying to put a name to whatever the feeling in my chest is (not), but love sounds like a nice way to put it so we'll go with that! i love you too, and appreciate the time you took to write everything out more than any sentence can convey the full meaning of

you're right about me not expecting my ask to mean so much, i wrote it because i knew most authors (and creators as a whole) like hearing how their viewers discover their work. you said you were curious in the notes of the url post, i thought i might as well send in my story to satisfy.

it would be a big step for me, but also a chance to say something nice to someone who inspired me and then move on after a “thank you” or vague acknowledgement to… prove to myself interacting isnt as bad as i thought it'd be?? something like that. i’m not sure what i wanted you to say, or how i wanted to feel about it

bbuut as per usual, you managed to surprise me no matter what i was looking for ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ ) and it wasn't all over the place or hard to understand at all. my turn to be dramatic:

“what is the point of feeling if, as soon as you pry your eyes away from the page, the emotion fades with the ink?” is definitely a question i connect with. impressionable teenager check ‼️

i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive.

they aren't real right? who cares? which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming. imagine not being able to delve into those depths. of course it feels uncomfortable to be pulled under the waves at first— you aren't going to be able to breathe— but the underwater life has so much to offer. i know it now, because i’ve seen that unknowable infinity in your work and in your passion. and there's so much more to sea (ba dum tiss). thank you so much for showing me that

love changes a lot of people. it is sacrifice, and you often have to make compromises. so why not let myself be devoured by that endlessness? i would rather suffer, be swallowed by the ocean and have all of my soft edges filed into jagged pieces by the currents than to have never known that pain at all. because it changed me. i want to remember that.

i want to remember your words, and the part you played even if i am left with only hurt, because love is also giving. it's greed knows no bounds. it's scary, the only thing i had to offer was myself and my experience. but it's getting easier. i’m happy to be seen as a member of your audience, and will applaud every success long after our interests no longer align because that is my compromise for you ♥(ˆ⌣ˆ)

hope all that makes sense. i like the umbrella tag! i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️

ANON i am so sorry for the late response i had to process this. i’m having such a hard time posting these bc i just want to keep them treasured in my inbox forever ugh

long post again

ANYWAY. you’re so poetic this is insane. hello???//?/? when i first saw this there were tears in my eyes literally. i cannot. the first paragraph. actually all of them. i . died?? goodbye?? this is the end of me as i know it. i will never be the same. these r the most impactful words anyone has ever said to me i think. i have no words. genuinely no words i’m going to melt into thr floor. plea. please. spare me anon. spare me. i’m in agony right now ur writing is so beautiful. ANONNNNN😭😭😭😭😭😭 god i will never recover. i am in tears

“i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive. they aren't real right? who cares?”

i get that, in a way. but as you said — “which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming.” — that’s how it feels to me, too, and it always has. i get the idea of thinking something isn’t important because it’s not real, but i’ve always latched onto them regardless. so i had to write, honestly. to get it out. because otherwise it would consume me instead. it sounds very dramatic, i’m aware, but it’s true — i have so many feelings surrounding these fictional pixels and stories and they have so much to offer and they take up too much space in my brain and if i do not talk about it i will Explode ™️. Or Implode ™️. so i write! because i want to. because i have to. because otherwise it will Swallow Me Whole. and i’d rather embrace it! i’ve always been an ‘obsessive’ person when it comes to interests — it’s all or nothing for me. so it’s one or the other — i can drown or i can swim, but i can’t really get out of the water of my own volition,,, and i’d rather not drown. so i’m both glad i inadvertently introduced you to that way of seeing things, and regret it, because it does hurt sometimes. but it’s worth it to me, and it seems like it is to you too, so that’s good!

ONCE AGAIN i could copy and paste this entire ask and comment on it but i fear it’ll just be me repeating your sentences and gawking at them and it would get way too long. 😭😭😭😭 so i’ll just let your ask speak for itself

“i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️” also we can explode together actually. i’m glad u allowed urself to be perceived because. oh my god. 😭😭😭😭 this ask changed the trajectory of my life forever. half joke. destruction is not imminent you’ve got this

also, you’re definitely more than just a member of my audience now, in my opinion. if you do decide to stick around (and i hope you do), i hope we can become friends eventually too! even if you decide not to, these interactions have meant more to me than you know! so thank you, either way

[prying-pandora666]

I think you’re misunderstanding me.

I am not saying the Ozai of the live action isn’t abusive or horrifying. He very clearly is.

I’m saying the writing doesn’t convey it as well as the original and that’s a genuine criticism. It seems unfair to blame the audience for something that was super easy to grasp before being made more muddy.

An audience member shouldn’t need to be an expert in abuse to understand.

Yes, Zuko is less angry and desperate and volatile here. He is also older and was banished when he was older. It does lessen the impact.

Azula is insecure here, like she was in the original, but she’s no longer terrified of showing any vulnerability and even stands up to Ozai. Something she would’ve been too terrified to do on the original.

At some point, some of the fault IS with the writing.

Zuko and Azula seem more frustrated with their situation than traumatized. And while I agree with you that this isn’t what the show is TRYING to convey, it does do an inconsistent job of helping us understand what we are supposed to be getting from the additional scenes or changes.

Yes, in real life trauma can manifest in all sorts of unpredictable ways. But this is a narrative and they’re supposed to be conveying this to an audience.

This doesn’t surprise me though, given that it seems the entire production was made in crunch time and there wasn’t time for refining script drafts.

I also hope you have a nice day.

This is probably the only thought I’ll post on this, because overall I enjoyed the show but the internet is going to internet about adaptations:

I think there are plenty of critiques one could make about the live action AtLA adaptation (the pacing, some of the emotional character journeys not quite landing, some of the dialogue) but the one I keep seeing that I do not understand is that Ozai is “too nice” or that the show is downplaying his abuse.

If anything, live-action Ozai feels more cruel and horrific. Especially with the expanded exploration of his relationship to Azula. Do that many people really have trouble recognizing insidious evil if it’s anything other than literal cartoon villainy?