#i hope someone actually knows the song so this would make sense to some people

[seyaryminamoto]

My latest completed commission may have been a bit ambitious... because I went wild with it. But I certainly relished in doing so :') Combining my favorite ship with my favorite-ever Disney movie is, uh... a dangerous concoction :'D

The commissioner specifically requested for Azula as Mulan, Sokka as Shang, and Xin Long (my OC dragon from Gladiator) as Mushu. The rest of the cast was up to me to choose, and I pretty much went wild rewatching this movie and picking out some of my favorite moments to recreate them in my style, with these characters. I came up with a lot of correlating characters between both ATLA and 1998's Mulan, but I couldn't hope to draw EVERYTHING, unfortunately. Still, if you want my reasoning for the cast correlation... check out the Read More! Beyond that, feel free to reach out to me if you'd like to commission me, or if you want to join my Patreon!

The Herbalist as Mulan's grandmother might feel arbitrary but she honestly felt like the ATLA elderly lady with the most similar personality to Grandma Fa. Fickle, with a unique connection with a seemingly perfectly ordinary animal, old and sassy? Figured it fit! So for once, the Herbalist is Azula's grandma! xD strange notion, I know, Azulon/Herbalist is not a ship I ever thought I'd accidentally put out in the world but there have been wilder ships than that in this fandom...

Momo became Cri-Kee, I wasn't 100% sold on it but when I considered that Avatar features soooo many hybrid animals... I figured he could be a hybrid cricket-lemur. Weird, I know, but eh? Better than nothing xD

Aang as Chien-Po was a no-brainer. He's the only character I settled on instantly, never even considered anyone else for the role. Their personalities line up really well, and Chien-Po's tendency to be OP and resolve things that are outside of other people's reach sounded like he was prime Avatar material! So, while their dietary preferences are an obvious difference between them, I decided to go for it nonetheless considering all their other similarities!

Kino (another Gladiator OC) is Ling, and he actually did give me a ton of trouble to choose. I considered many characters for the role right up until I realized that Kino's personality actually lines up fairly well with Ling's, down to being a class clown type (who ABSOLUTELY would have cut gym class!) and breaking out in song about the hypothetical woman he'd like to fight for? Yeeeeah that's right up his alley xD but there's another reason why I picked Kino...

... And that is my likely unexpected choice for Yao:

ZUKO.

ZUKO IS YAO.

YES.

I'M NOT EVEN SORRY.

(For the uninitiated, Aang, Zuko and Kino are best friends in Gladiator, very often together, and they make a really good team, so that's the extra reason why Kino became the obvious choice for Ling aside from having really similar personalities, definitely closer personalities than, say, Jet, for instance.)

People have likened Zuko to Shang a LOT since ATLA aired. This is the main reason why I'm even making this huge note! I suspect it's primarily because of the aesthetic, let's be real here, and because he becomes Aang's teacher, but people have exaggerated Zuko's alleged similarities with Shang, or taken them out of proportion, in many ways. I actually remember an AMV ages ago with "Be a Man" and it was Zuko "training the Gaang"?? It... didn't feel right to me. Obviously, someone might rebuff with "well, how does Sokka make MORE sense than that, though?" And believe it or not, I have arguments for that... (when do I not...?)

Not only is this what the commissioner specifically requested (and it obviously lines up with the ship we love!), but let's examine the actual reasons why Sokka as Shang adds up:

Sokka actually had to train a bunch of toddlers who weren't paying any attention to him. You know. Kind of how Shang had to train the unruly soldiers who weren't getting anything right. Sokka has a positive relationship with his dad (Zuko, ofc, does not). Shang also has a positive relationship with his dad! And not only this, but there's a military component to both relationships, specifically with Shang wanting to follow on his father's footsteps and aid him in the war... so much like someone else I know, who jumped at every opportunity to rejoin his father in the war, even wishing to join him as a child until Hakoda tasked him with protecting their Tribe instead (kinda like Shang is tasked with training soldiers rather than joining a battlefield).

And the final cherry-on-top that I'd loooove to hear Zuko fans try to argue against... is sexism :') didn't Sokka get characterized as a sexist guy for four episodes, which made people decide that this was his main character trait even if it went away that quickly? Um, yes, that happened. Shang literally sings the memorable song that's a crazy ode to masculinity, including the rather sexist line of "did they send me daughters when I asked for sons". Shang outright abandons Mulan once they discover that she was a woman all along (while, admittedly, choosing to abandon her rather than KILL HER, which as we saw from Chi-Fu, he was NOT supposed to spare her!)...

So, is this REALLY what Zuko fans, who willfully believe their boy is a feminist king (... why? beats me...) are trying to compare their unproblematic blorbo to? :'D Me? I have no problem linking Sokka with Shang due to Sokka's beginnings and due to the fact that both Shang and Sokka have similar growth when it comes to accepting femininity is as valid as masculinity, and as they both learn to respect women as fighters and potential heroes! (I simply do not believe Sokka's ENTIRE tenure in ATLA was about that, though, and that's what I continue to clash with the fandom over...) So... all this is why I've reasoned that Sokka is a VERY solid choice for Shang, in fact, better than Zuko could hope to be.

... but this isn't all.

Maybe some might accept my arguments for Sokka-Shang. And then, they might ask:

WHY ZUKO AS YAO, THO??

... And the truth is it took me long to see it, myself, but HOLY SHIT, DOES IT FIT!

What is the primary thing we remember about Yao in Mulan? This guy is constantly itching for a fight, to prove himself, surely riddled with insecurities that he exteriorizes through overcompensation of masculinity. He's funny as fuck, but he's taking himself 100% seriously as a manly man all the time, and he's always ready for violence. But there's one more thing...

He treats Mulan as his RIVAL.

And more often than not? SHE SCREWS HIM OVER. Intentionally or not.

What does that sound like? Why, yes, it sounds a LOT like Azula and Zuko's sibling relationship!

The fact that Yao is a temperamental dude who lashes out easily at things (oh, something he has in common with Zuko!), that he specifically resents Mulan (in this case, Azula, just as Zuko does!) and is either constantly looking to defeat her and prove his superiority over her (... wait, just as Zuko with Azula??), that he has a black eye perpetually across the movie, and it's his LEFT EYE (just as Zuko's scar is on his left eye! :'D), that he's friends with a pacifist he has basically nothing in common with, personality-wise (just like Zuko and Aang!), and that he pretty much has a REDEMPTION ARC in which he goes from a bitter, asshole rival to Mulan to treating her as a friend and ally, to the point where he was disappointed to leave her behind and THEN joined her at once when she says she has a plan? :') I have always been critical of Zuko's redemption arc, goes without saying. But if ANY of these characters redeemed himself in any significant way, it certainly seems to be Yao to me, and with people gushing NON-STOP about Zuko's redemption? Why, he ought to be the character who goes from bitter rival to loyal friend, right?

So. I'm not even sorry. Zuko is Yao. And I'd dare say that he should be flattered by the comparison, even, because Yao ends up being cool as FUCK!

I don't really talk about this much nowadays, but Mulan was my favorite Disney movie growing up, it ABSOLUTELY had a formative influence on me as a little girl, and Mulan was my favorite female character for a looooong time. Thus, any excuse to rewatch this movie makes me happy as heck. With the wisdom of age I know, of course, that it's not perfect, it's not what China wants, it's not the most thoughtful depiction of Chinese culture or the most faithful adaptation of Mulan's poem (... but I'd also dare bring up that the 2009 Chinese adaptation ISN'T all that faithful either...), but it has a kind of magic in it, a solid storytelling flow, so many memorable moments one after the next, that I could hardly choose which scenes to depict... Disney has never again seen the storytelling heights it reached with Mulan in 1998. I don't even care if that's a controversial opinion in any way... this is their best animated feature for me, and nobody can change my mind.

So... depicting Azula, my beloved, in all these scenarios as this character I adored and idolized as a child, was so damn fulfilling for me. While some might think that, personality-wise, these two ladies don't have much in common, the fact that Mulan is sent to a matchmaker who basically tells her she looks good but is going to be the worst wife ever...? Our girl Azula, with all those insecurities about being unloveable and a monster, probably would relate big time to that.

Mulan is also an INTELLIGENT soldier rather than a brawny one, which is how she starts to make progress in the army, it's how she manages to overcome the huns with that avalanche... and Azula's primary difference with most other antagonists in ATLA is that she's smart as fuck. She is very strong, no doubt, but a LOT of that strength comes from her intelligence, from assessing situations in unique ways, from planning and strategizing. The way Mulan finds the most unexpected solutions that still pay off reminds me a lot of how Azula achieves unexpected feats through rather unorthodox means, capable of taking over a city with basically no bloodshed while her nation has spent 100 years trying and failing to do so through major army incursions and who knows how much senseless violence. Obviously, I'm not saying what Azula did is GOOD and it's kind of dumb that we always have to point that out... I'm merely comparing the magnitude of the feats, and the fact that they both come from ladies who use strategy and intelligence to achieve their goals rather than muscle and physical power.

And while anyone would rage at me for the comparison between Fa Zhou (her dad) and Ozai, the truth is the dynamic between them CAN be compared, if loosely: Mulan literally goes to war to keep her father safe. Azula goes to war under her father's orders. Hell, she makes herself BAIT in the Eclipse to make sure the Gaang won't get to her dad?? While it's very much possible to say that both characters have different personalities and attitudes in life... I'd also bring up that their contexts are evidently completely different. I wouldn't say for certain that Azula, had she been raised outside a Royal Family, would be EXACTLY like Mulan... but they might have more similar traits than one might expect. Ultimately, though... I love them both. And this opportunity to swap their places was pretty much a dream come true!

Alright, that was plenty of rambling xD ultimately, I had a blast doing this commission, as I'm sure is obvious by now. So! If anyone wants to commission me, feel free to check out my prices right here and hit me up if you're interested!

[marengogo]

Are You Sure ?! - #4: I Hate that YOU Love Hate You but, I Love YOU, so ...

I’m listening to a Mellow/Angsty Love playlist - (yes) it has BTS/ solos BTS songs as well

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello My Sentimental Girls, Bois and Enbys,

Please be kindly warned that I am going to be overpoweringly sensitive as I write this. Not necessarily because Are You Sure?! has unfortunately come to an end, but because, as I try to write this post, as always, “through” my TwinFlame’s JK emotional lens, the last two episodes really were so full of so many feelings that I am trying my best to order my thoughts and do them justice. Like, let me tell you, this boy really felt plenty, or better yet he allowed himself to truly feel a lot hence, as always, through respectful speculation and educated guessing I’ll try my best to convey my related observations. 

Towards the end of the post I’ll also have a little confession to make about something that I have been so determinedly ignoring, because the mere thought always makes me so uncomfortable, sad, and a tiny bit scared, so there’s also that.

All that being said, here I am, concluding this physical/sentimental journey, with my unrequested thoughts but with a hopeful sense that perhaps writing this down will somehow lessen my emotional weight, because let’s be for real, I am going to have AYS withdrawals on Thursday. So, is this post going to be long?  … 🤡 I mean, you should know me by now. For those who don’t know me, yes, it will be a long post 🙏🏾.

Truly free things are hard to come by nowadays. Undoubtedly, money has effectively found its way into our everything. Yet, there is one thing that hasn’t changed in its acquired value as in, how you get by it, and how you get it, etc. This one thing is still available free and you can find it anywhere, LITERALLY. However, whether or not you’ll be able to acquire it, and eventually keep it, is, to this day, one of the most debated, discussed, joyed over, cried over, mused over, etc, topic. 

Yes, you’ve guessed; it’s Love. 

I don’t believe I was actually ever taught about just Love in all its forms. Not at home, not at school school talked about famous people in love, sexual education, popular love … basically they beat around the bushes 🙄, or amongst friends, and if I had, I do not recall it, at all and y’all, I have one heck of a good memory, I will not be humble about that. I think that my first notions and ideas I formed about the concept of Love came through books and films, and let me tell you, there is an infinite related archive out there, which can be as exciting, as much as dangerous. Regardless, even though it was never really explained to me same for everyone most likely, as I grew up, EVERYONE loooved to talk about it, ALL THE TIME, so somehow, I made my own understanding of it. 

One of the things I understood was that some day, when I would become a woman, I would find an adult man, have a family, children, and live happily ever after because I would fall in love and some man would fall in love with me. I understood it as a given; Everyone, of a certain gender, falls in love with someone, of the opposite gender, because there is someone out there, of a certain gender, for everyone, of the opposite gender, just waiting to find you or to be found. Basically, Everyone will eventually find, and forever keep, mutual heterosexual romantic Love.

Spoiler alert: It wasn’t not true.

In fact, the true state of things is actually the very opposite. The minority of people on this planet, heterosexual or not, will experience, and live with true mutual romantic love, and will be able to keep it for a very long time, and even fewer others will be able to take it all the way to the day they die, those are at the Legendary Level ones. And I am not saying this because I am jaded or bitter or any other hurt and/or hater-inclined-behaviour, you can really miss me with alla dat. This is just that one very helpful, and hard, to accept and you don’t have to accept it by the way! reality that should hit everyone at some point, but not always does. When it doesn’t hit, people may end up tormenting themselves sometimes to death when and/or if they can’t “find love”, wondering if they are unloveable, what is wrong with them, etc etc etc.  

Reason why, it is paramount to love yourself first and foremost. 

Because it might be true that someone is “unlovable” or that there is “something wrong with them” but, if true, this is principally hindering one’s well-being because, finding and trying to fix whatever might be amiss with one's self, may not guarantee a successful mutual romantic love, but it does guarantee a happier life in general. I mean, listen, if in the scope of things, you might end up having to spend the rest of your life without a mutual romance, meaning, you have to spend infinite time with you, yourself & YOU, how is that going to work, if you don’t love yourself …? And, just in case it wasn’t common knowledge, Loving Yourself is not easy, like any other relationship, it takes work. The reason why therapy ain’t cheap ✌🏾💰💋but needed, honestly.

So, let’s make no mistake; alas Love, in any of its forms btw, if it is harmful, it is not Love is needed. In fact, as it turns out, human beings were “programmed” in such a way that having it in one's life would make their existence progress less painfully, or even painlessly. In addition, self-love is one of the purest, satisfying, and incredibly useful types of love out there.

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, for those lucky enough to find & keep romantic love regrettably, thus far, I am not one of those, trust me when I tell you, it is not at all smooth sailing. There are just so many factors to be factored in and the bear thought of it all can honestly be enough to make anyone not want to be bothered by it.

Yet, my beloved and most precious, TwinFlame seems to have found it. Now, I can’t guarantee it to be romantic as always, despite me believing it to be so but he sure as hell is fighting his darn life to keep it. So, yes, hm, I think

JK is in Love.

If it wasn’t clear enough in episode 1 all the way to this finale, JM is a person whose presence JK particularly wants in his life, and whose absence kinda makes him feel sort of … unsettled? … but I’ll dive deep into this, later on in this post. For now, it is important to point out that my TwinFlame not only actively looks after JM, but he actively seeks JM’s attention, he actively wants to be sought by JM, he actively tries to make JM happy, he actively wants to level with JM, he actively wants JM to be comfortable around himself JK and for JM to be comfortable with himself JM. Basically, JK cares, in his own way, quite loudly for JM. And I say “his own way” because I believe JK’s emotional intelligence (EI) to be somewhat different from the common ones. I actually received an ask about his EI, which I plan to answer very soon 🙏🏾, so for now, I will not dive into that in this, cos I really ain’t trying to compete with the length of dictionaries with this post 😬. 

Japanese people, traditionally, have a fascination for sad love stories, and ever since I got into 875, I’ve been wondering if Koreans feel the same way but in their case, it is likely to be just Sadness period. You see, in the West, we “all” love a heartbreaking and passionate love story, the reason why Romeo and Juliet will probably be eternally famous. Yet, we don’t believe that true love is love, because it is brought about by unbearable suffering, so it must be real. We are more of the true love, is love, because it leads to immeasurable happiness kinda style. Basically we Westerners love Romeo and Juliet because of what they could have been, but Japanese and maybe Koreans would love Romeo of Juliet because of what they were to each other. So when a person like me watches a movie like 5 Centimetres per Second and swears to never watch it EVER AGAIN which I haven’t and refuse to, a Japanese person might think that is probably one of those movies they’ll find themselves watching over and over again and let me tell you, it was great, I just don’t think I can handle a second viewing, no thanks.

So if I am correct in thinking that Koreans feel similarly as Japanese in this matter, JK, like many other Korean folk, loves to sing sad/angsty/melancholic songs. Either by himself, or in company, like he used to with Tae probably they still do as well as watching sad movies, like JM’s favourite being The Notebook and JK’s being Titanic. Yet, here is where the glitch in the matrix happens; JK was most likely not that serious but wasn’t he? 😬 when he brought this up however, he seemed to be a little bothered by the fact that JM really liked “Hate You” out of all the song in his album. JM sang Seven, 3D and Standing Next to You this particular one he kept bringing up like there was no tomorrow, throughout all 3 trips, yet, when he played Hate You in the car, for the second time because he had as well in episode 6 JK was like; “Why?”. 

Let me tell you something.You know how I usually skip Spring Day, cause I can’t really handle it? Before AYS Ep. 8 I used to skip Hate You as well for the same reasons as Spring Day; it was too sad for me to bear as it felt closely related him singing it alone makes me relate it to him in my flowed brain, even though he didn’t write it 🙃 to people I love, people being the Tannies. Lovely by Khalid and Billie Eilish in comparison is MUCH SADDER but because I am in no way emotionally connected to either Khalid or Billie I don’t mind listening to the song at all I love that song. 

Anyways, Long story short, it looked like it bothered him a tiny bit. It felt almost as if “Sure, we are Koreans and we like sad love songs, this being an excellent one, but I don’t want MY love story to be sad” kind of bothered “also this better have NOTHING to do with the fact that Shawn Mendes wrote this song!” - perhaps nervously thought JK 🤡🤣😂. In fact, there are a few situations that came up, involving him and JM, which “bothered” him and he had no qualms in bringing up with JM right away, which by the way is healthy AF. JK seems to be the type of partner that wants to confront you right away and will not let it be until he hears the words that make him know that the “conflict” is cleared to his own satisfaction, or until he senses you don’t want to talk about it any further in that particular moment.

Those are all examples, during AYS, where JK was satisfied with the answer that JM gave him to the legit concerns/silly questions he brought up. JK’s reaction right after all of those answers was him being content/happy, by laughing, singing along, or something else, hence moving on. Below is an example where he wasn’t satisfied with the answer:

Did he just drop it? Did they talk it out? As always, we will never know, as this part cuts into another scene. Only JK, JM and the editors will know and this is a fact we should never forget. Never forget about editing limitations, and this is a very good moment to add that even though whoever translated this show did a shitty ass job, the crew that went with them, to film in Sapporo specifically, seemed to be quite familiar with them, their dynamics almost like friends, which I think contributed with JK and JM feeling as comfy as they did in Japan.

Japan.

By the looks of it, this is the country that holds special meaning to both myself and my TwinFlame and, NGL, this kinda makes me happy and feel special LOL 😜. BUT, I DIGRESS! Didn’t JK seem a bit more … relaxed? Besides the very romantic fact that he wanted to go back to Tokyo because it was their first trip, didn’t JK seem a tad flirtier, a tad cuter, a tad more annoying, a tad comfier and just so fucking happy? He, and I’d dare say JM as well, truly let their guards down, even if just a tad. The fact that JK & JM wondered how the crew would have edited the content tells me that they were fully aware about the fact that they were being filmed, but didn’t want to think too much about it, because they wanted to also have a sense of freedom. Because of that, perhaps, they tried to give us as much realness as they could, restraining themselves in some instances, while also saying Fuck it! in few other cases during which they perhaps forgot about the fact that they were being filmed, confidently relying on their trusted crew to properly edit the footage in the best way possible. But back to the main point,

JK is in Love.

JK is probably the type of person who wishes he could have an answer, and/or remedy, to any problem his significant other may have. Yeah, he is probably the type of man that wishes he could take away all their pain, or feel it for them instead, and it is exactly because he seems to be willing to do anything for his loved one’s well-being that I think that sometimes he does struggle with some of their societal boundaries, such as; age hierarchy. Without getting too much into his EI, the part in episode 7 where he brings up how things would have been if he and JM would have been born the same year really stood out and stayed with me.

In this particular instance, for the first time I finally got to see him kinda mind about their age difference, almost troubled and not because he might think it to be a lot which it isn't at all, but because according to their societal practices, he theoretically should constantly be mindful about it, limiting greatly the actions he can do, not that he’s ever heed to them, but the fact is that he should, and in certain situations, he must. If we think about it properly, right from their debut years, JK has struggled a lot with referring, and treating, JM as a hyung, which is actually quite weird considering that the person he treated more like a “chingu” friend of the same age in this context was is Tae, even though, to my knowledge, he’s never dropped honorifics with him and had no desire in doing so, as explained during the first In The Soop which in hindsight, I’m sure must have confused Tae a lot who has been trying to be his cool hyung for as long as I can remember  (the following pictures are not from In The Soop, but Festa 2021). 

Like, it is honestly so peculiar how, back in the day, JK had never really treated JM as your typical “chingu”, nor a hyung, yet found himself sticking by JM’s side a lot, off cameras, filming him a lot, acting stand-offish just to apologise right after, staring at him a lot, learning all his likes and dislikes, studying his body and habits, doing questionable things such as focusing rather often on his lips and butt through a camera lens, which eventually evolved into JM being the first member he’s ever bought a gift for, as well as being the first member he’s ever travelled alone with… basically, as I’ve stated, JK has really never seen JM as his hyung or friend though he does try to remind himself of it. 

So if JM is not a hyung, or a “chingu”; then what is he? 🙄… 

Wanna know what’s even funnier? JM clearly cares about JK enormously and though he likes most of all of his sides cos JK can be annoying when he wants to 🤡✌🏾 the side he likes the most is his cute side; but here comes the catch. It would seem that from their debut days, JM truly became fond of that cutesy, happily skipping, side that JK shows with his hyungs in particular and the fact that they are ALL his hyung, including JM, just made writing this sentence so weird NGL …, that cuddly, super-maknae aura he has many a time, with literally everyone but the 95s, because Tae, as speculated, he seems to see as a chingu and JM as a … charming person?? Whatever that means.

Now JK does give JM “cute”, sometimes, but it is not the little brother kind of cute. It’s that “don’t go without me…” kind of cute, “let’s buy the same one” kinda cute, “you didn’t show me first, so I am hurt” kinda cute, “how do I look?” kind of cute “I can film you, but don’t film me” kind cute, “... spend time with ME!” kinda cute … you get the jist, don’t you? Cause, repeat after me; He a simp, he a simp, he a simp! And there is nothing wrong with being a simp tbh, as long as you own up to it, and JK does own up to it marvellously 💋.

And remember when I mentioned about him feeling sort of unsettled when JM isn’t around? I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days but doesn’t it almost feel like a sort of … separation anxiety? Through the whole episodes it sometimes felt like he tried to do as much as possible, of anything, with JM as if he would just take off and leave at some point. This could also explain him always popping up on WEVERSE whenever JM took a flight, or trying his darn best to get him to come around even though they had just spent so much time together in the US. But who knows right? Perhaps he just really loves to spend every hour, every minute, every second with JM because, like crazy,  

JK is in Love.

So in love that he thought it important for himself to drive them to the airport, hence he didn’t drink that last beer I know he was dying inside, as well as taking a flight to Korea with JM, when he really could have just flown to the US from Japan. So in love that out of all the trips he's been to in his life, Are You Sure?! is the best trip he’s ever been on and he wishes to reboot when they come out of the military, where, by the way, they presently are together 🤡 . So in love that he wasn’t going to have JM get sad and lost in his own thoughts while in his presence, no, reason why, like a knight in shining armour, he “went and saved” him from his slump and not because JM was a princess in distress, but because prince charming also needs saving every once in a while If you ask me, the main “princess” in this relationship is my TwinFlame, no doubt, cause I also fo happen to think that they do take turns, for sure. Hence, the main “prince charming” is most definitely JM, and btw, frequency of a certain behaviour is not a factor that determines who is “main” 💋. 

Marengo Confession-Time!  😬- here it goes: I love watching people react to ANY 875 content, but I haven’t been able to watch anybody react to Are You Sure?! Because to put it plainly I am scared. I’m scared that people will question their relationship, or have homophobic reactions, or feel uncomfortable watching them when they do what they do. I just don’t want them to be hated for something they can’t help and are comfortable with. For the most part I am sure they would maybe nt comment, or chalk it up as “brotherly behavior", but what if they don’t? In fact, I am also so apprehensive of the reaction the world would have if they are a couple if they ever came out, it genuinely terrifies me.

I don’t want them to be looked at like freaks, or worse, so I am not able to bring myself to watch people react to them, in the same way I turn off when people have unwarranted shit to say when reacting to 875’s music. If they are a couple, I truly want them to be happy, safe, and become part of the Legendary Level ones. So, even though the world may not be fully ready to want their chapter in their history books, I hope it will someday,  because theirs would be such a motivating and enthralling chapter at that. 

I don’t know what will await them when they come out of ME. It is interesting though that JK made all these memories during the trip to take with himself and think about while serving. The snow he watched with JM, the restaurants they ate at, the time they tried skiing for the first time, the antics in the sauna and the “scuzzi”, the tuna-mayo gimbap he knew JM would love, the good afternoon and good night whiskey, and more. Now that I think about it, in some way, JK has a similar Love background to mine, he most likely wasn’t taught that romantic Love can come from someone of the same gender and he wasn’t exactly taught that not having children or a traditional family can be okay. 

Yet, I have a feeling that just like me, through movies perhaps, songs, or other means he’s figured out a thing or two. I have a feeling that he will decide for himself what Love is to himself, all the forms of Love he will need, who embodies Love for him, and what role Love will take in his life, and whether or not JM turns out to be that person MAKE NO MISTAKE: JM is an incredibly important person in his life. So, it is a strong feeling I have, but then again when has JK ever not taken control of his own life? When has he ever not followed his instincts and/or succumbed to what people want him to do? Same for JM really. 

These are two boys who found themselves in Seoul even though they were born in Busan, like, the universe wanted them to meet. They are two boys, who, along with the other five, made the phrase impossible Is Nothing feel real. After all, these are indeed two boys who really can’t be told to do anything. There is a very famous quote, which kinda makes me think of them:

I am the Master of my Fate, I am the Captain of my Soul.

So yeah, the future is uncertain but one thing is for sure, no relationship that took so long, so much care, and so many trails to build, can be so easily destroyed. So, fighting TwinFlame, whatever it is you want, you got this! 👊🏾.

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

PS - Dammit! I miss them so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[kuni-kuun]

Kunikidazai x Heat Haze Days

[lilacstro]

Astro observation pt 6

well, here it is, as I got the results from the poll. hope you enjoy :))

1.People with 8th/12th house stellium often have some kind of thing of hiding. If you have Moon in 8th house too, its like, hiding but wanting to be seen at the same time. You may see these people have a social media, delete it, then probably see them posting a lot and suddenly they are gone. Its conflicting in some sense.

2. Continuing on 8th/12th house moons, apart from the cliche they dont trust people, these kinds of people have a desire to connect on a soul level to people they like, but something holds them down, I would like to guess most likely past experiences or own solid opinions on how it is or very huge inner conflict. It is very touching to them if you actually understand such people. Giving me vibes of Sia's song lyrics

"Break down, only alone I will cry out loud You'll never see what's hiding out Hiding out deep down Yeah, yeah I know, I've heard that to let your feelings show It's the only way to make friendships grow But I'm too afraid now Yeah, yeah"

I would like to add this for scorpio/capricorn/leo moons

3. Your moon sign can show how you like to relax and unwind. Infact if you are unsure on how to lift your spirits up when you are down, go to your moon sign, it works quite well imo. Example, Gemini moons may like to have a talk with friends, someone/something who can make them laugh, Leo moons may like getting a full glam time or watching some kind of entertainment, Libra moons may like doing some self care shopping/routine, retail therapy or just thinking and admiring their fav people lol or seeing pretty things scrolling pintrest

4. people with Saturn in 10th house, Saturn in Capricorn, Saturn at capricorn degrees have some kind of unbelievable drive and will for what they want. Gives me "Unstoppable" vibes.

5.I read this somewhere but I cant exactly remember where. If someone's Jupiter sign matches your moon signs or vice versa, you both have the ability to lift each others spirits. It holds 200% for me and my sister. She is libra moon and I am libra jupiter.

6. People with Saturn conjunct Jupiter/harmonious aspects often dream the big, the unachievable and are actually ready to lay the plan out and work. Somehow, they should even find the luck they need to support what they need. I would even say, if they find some kind of redirection or change in their "big plans", its often for the good.

7. As cliché as it may sound, people with major Scorpio placements/scorpio stellium have something on with black going on. Either they like black clothes, using black and white filters on their pictures often, liking nighttime, some romanticizing of melancholy through poems or sad songs, or looking good in black somehow.

8. I would say, the 12th house in someones chart can reveal a lot. Someone can lie, their birth chart cannot. The planets in 12th house or sign or the degree your 12th house can show what are your unguarded deepest thoughts. 12th house scorpios (Sag risings) can carry trauma/ resentment for the past, 12th house Venus may like to fantasize about future lovers or happy times, 12th house at Leo degrees can show you are very creative and loud at creating scenarios in your head or thinking.

9. people with moon in 9th house might pursue higher education of what they actually wanted to do since childhood. Could also be there was some influence of childhood that leads to the choice of further education. This placement also makes me think that you are studying what you actually want and connect to and most likely wont despise it.

10. I think, i read someone saying the 8th sign from your Venus placement can show what actually ends your relationship. For example 8th sign for someone with Venus in Sag would be Cancer. So making decisions when you are extremely high on emotions, the thoughts or warnings of breakups or withdrawal and not really opening up or caring about someone to a fault can ruin your relationships. I checked this for a few people and think this is actually very accurate for some reasons. If you want I can make a post on this one.

11. Mars in a women's chart can show what "bad boyfriend" she may fall for or thinks about. Mars in Taurus, someone who has money/luxury, Mars in Sagittarius? Someone who is free and adventurous and reckless kind of, Mars in Aries? Someone who is high on thrills and adventures and passion. Consider the house Mars is in for more info.

12.I again have another theory. I kind of believe that though Part of Fortune can show where you are lucky and things like that, the house /sign it may be in can show what is kind of fated in your life. In 9th house it can be your higher education, in 11th house it could be the people you meet, in 4th house could be the family you were born into. I can make another post again if y'all like.

13.Saturn conjunct moon is kind of a hard placement imo. It can again have several meanings, some of them being, having to raise your parents, your childhood was restrictive and did not allow you to show your emotions fully or an emotionally unavailable non-understanding mom. If this placement falls into your 8th/12th/4th house, it can show you carry some kind of trauma from both your parents.

14. Eros in someone's chart can show what they get turned on by. Eros in 1st house could mean you find looks very attractive at first sight HOWEVER it could be, that people find you super sexy at first sight too. Applies to other houses too.

15. People with Uranus in 3rd could change multiple schools when young. Could also be early education was very unstable and unpredictable due to multiple reasons. Maybe unavailable parents, finance issues etc.

support me on ko-fi :)

leave post suggestions and feedbacks if you like<33 if there is something you would like to add, please do it in comments/asks/reblogs. I love you all

[kurikive]

CASUAL | danielle marsh.

— "is it casual now?"

6thmember!reader, situationship/fwb but nothing sexual, angst, fluff at the end i promise, dani swears, reader is a (closeted) lesbian, reader is horrible at reading people, written in 2nd person, they work it out on the remix

warnings : A LOT of internalized homophobia !! reader refers to herself multiple times as a predator but it's just from fear and insecurity, nothing actually predatory is happening in the story. extremely brief mentions of starvation

wc: 5.4k words

inspired by: Casual — Chappell Roan

you and danielle marsh are friends. more than co-workers, you're friends. although you don't have that much in common except for your age, it was easy to adapt to the harsh environment of the k-pop industry's training system with someone like danielle by your side.

she's always been a ray of sunshine in everyone's lives, you're not the exception. if you were in a bad mood, tired from waking up in the early morning everyday, worked to the point of exhaustion, danielle would be there rubbing your shoulders and saying something sweet like

"you're doing great, y/n! keep up!"

and then you'd smile at her, and she'd smile back, and you'd feel so much better, thanks to danielle.

you didn't have many interests in common. music taste, fashion sense, movie picks, food preferences, personality types, if anything you were almost her complete opposite. and yet, she sat in your bed every night while you scrolled on your phone, talking for hours until it the clock hits midnight and she goes back to her room.

danielle did most of the talking, and you carefully listened to everything she said. the enthusiasm in which she enunciated all her words was endearing to listen to, and it couldn't not bring a smile out of you. the girl never forgot to give you your chance to speak too, trying to get to know you better everyday.

there was one thing she could not know, however. that you're a lesbian.

if it was hard enough being gay in korea, it was ten times harder when you were about to debut in a girl group, in one of the biggest companies in the industry at the moment nonetheless.

there were times where the members would all gather and have girl talks, talking about things like movies, celebrity crushes, past boyfriends and all that stuff, and you felt left out every single time.

sometimes it's more a curse than a blessing that danielle notices everything, because when she asks, "who's your celebrity crush, y/n?", "what do you look for in a boy, y/n?", "have you ever had a boyfriend, y/n?", you never know how you're supposed to respond.

it wasn't safe. it'll never be safe.

you've known the girls for almost a year and there has never been an indication of the way they felt about the LGBTQ+ community. hanni was your safest bet, she seemed the most open minded, but then again you can never be sure.

they were all so painfully straight.

so you try your best to answer vaguely,

"i don't know.", "i'm not sure, i don't really think about that." they complain a little about your mysteriousness, but it doesn't take long for them to let it go and move on.

you don't know how long you have to keep pretending you're not sure. you are sure.

you like girls.

you don't want to keep pretending you don't. but how would they feel?.

they'd feel unsafe, uncomfortable, scared, exposed to a threat, a possibility of being prey to a predator, a little voice in your head tells you.

but you're not. you're not a predator. they know you're not a predator. you'd never do anything to hurt them, or make them uncomfortable.

so you keep pretending. but the shell is starting to crack, and a knot in your throat gets tighter everytime you hear your members ask "is he your type?".

your debut is only a couple months away. you pray to god hanni has noticed by now. she's your roommate after all.

you start playing some specific songs without your headphones in hopes she walks by or enters the room and notices. you hope she's the one that asks. but she doesn't, she never mentions the songs, ever.

so you move on to movies and shows.

when she catches you watching heartbreak high in the living room TV, she only says "oh they're aussies, right?"

when she sees you watching heartstopper on your phone while eating dinner she just says, "kit connor is soooo handsome."

she doesn't mention it when she goes into your room and you're playing but i'm a cheerleader on your laptop. but hanni has caught on.

and the next time she goes into your shared room, she closes the door behind her. you're in your bed, and you're staring at each other, both of your eyes shine with nervousness.

"can i ask you something?" she says from the door, so shakily you start fearing she's not going to take it like you wish she would.

"sure." you didn't mean for your voice to come out as quiet as it did.

it's a nerve-wracking couple of seconds watching hanni take a seat in her own bed and face you. she takes a big breath before asking, "do you- no, sorry. are you... gay?"

yes, yes, yes. i am a lesbian. i like girls. you want to scream, but the realization of reality strangles you and your throat feels so tight, and you can't say anything.

"it's not like there's anything wrong about it, i'm just... asking." she tries. you can tell she's trying. it's sweet that she's trying.

"yes." it's a struggle to get it out, and your heart starts racing, but just being able to feels like such a relief that you might start crying. but then fear washes down on you again when you can't read hanni, at all.

"i'm really sorry, hanni. i promise i'm not weird or predatory or anything, i would never try to make you uncomfortable and i'm sorry if i ever did. i promise i don't like you like that, not that you're not attractive or anything, that's not what i mean at all. i just- i would never like you like that, you're like my sister and i promise that i'm still the same y/n you met, i really hope this doesn't change anything in our-" she cuts off your rambled apology-slash-explanation with a hug.

"it doesn't. i promise." it hits you now, just now, that hanni knows. she knows.

"please don't tell the others." you're choked up, and that's the only thing you could say before the tears in your eyes caught up. i don't know how they'll take it, you want to say, but the only thing that comes out is a broken sob.

"i won't. it's okay, y/n."

you've grown closer to hanni than you'd ever thought you would. you spend your nights in your room talking and laughing and watching funny videos you send each other.

it's been a few months since you've debuted and you couldn't be happier. you had someone to rely on, someone who knows all your secrets and can trust her with them, and vice versa.

your career has skyrocketed and your popularity is through the roof, and although there are always negative consequences that come with that fame, it's been mostly great on your end.

danielle doesn't really hang out in your room to talk anymore. if you're honest, you kind of miss it, but she surely has her reasons, and you don't think too much about it.

you're currently in one of the vocal practice rooms at HYBE, setting up your phone to do a phoning live. you'd just finish your vocal practice and you had asked for permission beforehand.

after a few minutes of talking with your fans, recommending movies and talking about food, you hear a knock on your door. quite strange.

"yeah? who is it?" you yell loud enough to no cause any ruckus. the door slightly opens and a face peeks inside, "it's me!" danielle's signature smile shining brightly at you, "i saw you were live and wanted to come hang out."

you didn't even need to tell her anything before she was coming right inside the room to grab a chair and sit beside you. "well, come hang out then!" you face your screen to see danielle struggling to bring the chair closer to you, and you chuckle a bit. "dani's here, guys!"

danielle has always been very touchy; with everyone, that is. today was not the exception, resting her head on your shoulder, holding your hand and locking your fingers together, nuzzling her face in your neck, it's all things you're already used to.

it's never been more than just friendly showcases of affection, to you, at least. and you've also never been irritated by it, but there's some guilt you try to suppress.

you don't want to push her away, you're not uncomfortable with her actions, what is uncomfortable is her potentially finding out your sexuality and thinking you let her shower you with affection for your own amusement. you fear it. but you don't want to think about that right now.

you think about it again, however, when you go back home and open social media only to see videos and threads with thousands of likes and views compiling every sweet moment of affection that happened just mere hours ago.

there's a pang in your chest when you see the tens of delusional comments talking of how much they'd like to see you and your friend as a couple. it feels like you're being strangled, and you suddenly feel unwell, so you close the app and turn off your phone.

"i should watch a movie."

you fully believe your debut was your prime. everyday gets harder, scandal after scandal, comeback after comeback, day after day. you work really hard, your members know, your fans know. but it never looks like it's going to get easier.

you win awards, win some more, get another important deal, shoot another session, write another song, the cycle repeats although not in the same order. like a fucked up loop. you're so fucking tired.

you wonder how hyein is holding up. you care a lot for her, like your little sister. she seems okay, eating a bowl of yogurt and fruits in the living room with haerin and hanni. are you the only one having a hard time?

you need to relieve your stress, and there's really no other option other than going to the gym to work out. so you go back to your room to lazily change into your practice clothes and grab your backpack, "i'm going to the gym." you try your best to sound at least a little enthusiastic as you walk behind the living room couch.

"when are you coming back?" you hear danielle ask from the kitchen, a twinge of concern in her voice. "it might start raining soon."

"i won't take long. if i see it starts to get cloudy i'll get going." you try to put her worries at ease. your gym doesn't have windows, though.

you shouldn't have gone. you're not even supposed to go anyway. it's raining hard, and it might start storming soon. but your manager can't know you're here. one of the many downsides of being in a group with four minors and two barely-adults, you can't call any of them to pick you up. so fuck it, you're taking the public transportation.

kind of extremely risky considering you are literally in newjeans, but okay. what else is there to do? what you failed to consider is the only bus stop being about five blocks away. and the bus doesn't drop you off even remotely close to the dorms. so you're gonna be running in the rain and, fuck it again, you do just that.

the first five blocks to the bus stop weren't that bad, you didn't get soaked like you imagined, blocking most raindrops with your backpack over your head. you really should've just brought an umbrella, though.

good thing you brought a mask, at least. nobody seemed to recognize you on the bus. you take a seat as close as possible to the exit and take out your phone to hurriedly text the group chat.

i got a bit caught up, im omw

domt worry 2 much

ill b there soon :))

minji responds with a thumbs up, hanni leaves an "idiot" that gets a like reaction by haerin. you see danielle write and then stop writing about 3 times, but she ends up not sending anything at all, so you just turn off your phone and look outside for your stop.

it only takes a couple minutes of waiting to see the silhouette of your dorm building. you get off your seat and wait for the bus to halt at the next stop to get off. it's raining a bit harder, but there's nothing you can do except wing it.

and when you get off, you immediately put your backpack on top of your head and start running as fast as you could towards your dorm. you get some looks, but no one can possibly be able to recognize you, not at the speed you're going.

after a few minutes, your legs start getting tired not only from running, but all the exercise you did hours earlier. another thing you failed to consider in this mediocre, careless plan.

but you're almost there. and you're almost not soaked.

by the time you reach your building the only thing about you that isn't wet is your scalp. you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket, it's probably one of your members, but you're almost there, you can't pick up.

you enter the gates of the apartment, and you're probably going to make a mess on the floor on the elevator, but your legs can't take it anymore, and you thank any god that hears your prayers when the elevator doors open and it's empty. you can't take more embarrassment right now.

the doors open once again and you try not to make much noise as you run towards your dorm. someone inside must've heard you fumbling with your keys because as soon as you find the right one the door is already open, a concerned danielle with a just as worried minji behind her. you smile at the sight of them. "hello!"

"get your ass inside!" you hear hanni shout from the couch.

you're drying your hair in your room after taking a shower and explaining the situation to your group members. just as you're about to turn on your phone to see what time it is you hear a knock on your door, "can i come in?" it's danielle.

"yup. come on in!" you answer a lot more energized than a couple hours before. danielle's not wearing her usual bright smile, but rather a more worried expression. "y/n, can we talk?"

you're confused. you've never heard or seen her like this before. she's obviously been worried before, she cares about you just as much as the others, but this time it's different. "yeah, what's up?" you try your best to respond calmly and tap a stop in the bed beside yourself, which danielle gladly takes.

"are you okay?" she asks as she settles down at your side. what?

"what do you mean?" you don't notice it but you start fidgeting with your own fingers. danielle notices.

"it's just," she tries looking somewhere else, but she can't help the need of looking into your eyes all the time, looking for some sort of sign, some crack, "i can tell you're stressed. you're tired and... if you need to talk i just want you to know that i'm here." her eyes are dripping honey and her hand is so warm when she grabs yours.

you show her a sluggish smile, "thanks, dani. i appreciate that." when you look back, her face is already finding it's way to the crook of your neck. "i'm just a little tired of everything. it really feels like i'm doing the same things all over again. i know we've achieved a lot as a group but i feel like i have nothing going on for myself." you sigh, danielle says nothing, urging you to continue.

"all the songs i pitch get turned down, my other drafts feel too personal to release as a group song. every song i write with the group in mind feels, i don't know, empty?"

your eyes unfocus as a wave of emptiness washes over you and the only thing you feel is a water droplet from your bangs fall and travel down your temples. and also the warmth shared by danielle's hand in yours.

"i just feel like nothing's going on in my life." you feel danielle's head leave your shoulder and you turn to look at each other at the same time, "i think i know how you feel." she says with the sweetest eyes ever.

"thanks for listening, dani." you smile at her, but it feels so strange when she doesn't smile back. she just stares, right through you. her eyes are so pretty; you've always known but this is the first time you've looked at them directly for so long (there's really nothing else for you to look at when she's so close to your face).

oh, yeah. in a sudden moment you were inches apart. you don't remember moving so it must've been danielle.

you don't really understand what's going on. maybe this is an eye contact battle and you're not supposed to blink. and you think for a moment you had it easy because suddenly danielle's pretty eyes are nowhere to be found and you're staring at her eyelids and long eyelashes instead.

before your brain even thinks of giving you the chance to mutter "i win!" in a silly manner, you feel your own lips getting shut. covered, enveloped by another set of softness.

oh. this is not what you expected at all.

what are you even supposed to do right now? well, pull away, obviously. but that could could give danielle the impression that you hate everything about this and, really, that's not true at all. it's good. well, not good, but- danielle is not horrible at kissing.

what even is happening, anyway? i mean, you're kissing. but what else? nothing feels like it's moving; it feels like time's stopped. there also hasn't been anything that has lead up to this happening.

so you're just left there, paralyzed, in shock, waiting until danielle pulls away. just waiting until she's done with you. until she's satisfied.

and it's until danielle notices that you're not moving that she realizes what she's done. she pulls away, shaken and distraught.

"y/n, i am so sorry. i don't know what came over me, i am so so so sorry. i really didn't mean to do that. please forgive me, y/n, i am really so sorry." at this point, danielle's voice starts to break. "i don't know why i did that, it's just, i don't know, you just looked good a-and we were just close and-"

"it's okay, dani. i know."

"no, y/n, i really am sorry. i-"

"dani, i swear it's fine." you grab her shoulder to reassure her, but is anything really fine right now? "i..." you don't really know what to say next. "i don't, like, hate you or anything. i understand things like that happen. i'm not mad at you."

"really?" you've never seen her tear up so fast. you definitely didn't expect her to tear up at this. but you know the feeling of guilt so well you can't help but feel sympathy for her. "are you sure? i promise it won't happen again."

"i'm sure, dani. you could never do anything to make me hate you."

you smile at her, she sniffles. it's the last thing you hear before you hear the sound of her wristwatch's seconds ticking. you don't really know what's going through her head. you count about 34 ticks.

"did you hate it?" her voice isn't weak, but it is lower than you normally expect it to be.

you're stunned, but the way she looks at you so earnestly, with a hint of nervousness in her eyes forces you to answer within seconds, "n-no! dani, i didn't... hate it. it was just unexpected. i didn't really process it at first." it's the truth, but it feels so gut-wrenching to say.

another 20 ticks of quiet.

"can i do it again?"

hello? hello? what is going on? hello?

"i-i mean, if you want to." it sounds more like a question than a proper answer. and danielle takes it anyway.

you don't have any romantic feelings for danielle, that's for sure. she's said she doesn't have any feelings for you either. that's established. and yet when hanni is too caught up watching movies in the living room with minji and hyein, danielle is always there, sitting in your bed.

sometime's it's just little pecks while you cuddle and watch something she doesn't care much about. sometime's she's on the verge of kissing the living shit out of you.

it's never more than that. none of you let it be more than that. it's more than okay.

it's comfortable. it's casual.

and yet, every time it happens, you feel guilt eat at your stomach.

because danielle doesn't know. and she can't know.

it's not like this was your idea in the first place, it was danielle's. but the fact that you let her do it anyway could be predatory enough for her to feel unsafe if she ever did find out. even if she's the one who caused this all.

and never once do you think about yourself while it happens. it's not a moment for you, it's a moment for danielle to take. and you're okay with that. as long as she's okay with it.

you're okay with many things just because danielle is okay with them.

if danielle wants to watch a romcom, you watch a romcom. if danielle wants to eat plain yogurt, you eat plain yogurt. if danielle wants to kiss you, you let her kiss you.

it's not that big of a deal if there are no feelings involved. it's just a matter of believing that that's actually true.

you let her do whatever she wants because you're scared to do the taking. because taking feels like stealing, and doing feels like attacking. and you're so scared to hurt danielle that you forget you can also hurt yourself.

but if it's so casual, why doesn't she let go of your hand? why does she call you pretty everyday? why does she look at you with those pretty eyes like you're her whole world?

was the "i love you" she said yesterday something she meant as platonic love? is there such a thing as casual love?

was it just the sound of the raindrops on your window that made you hallucinate the sound of a love confession?

you don't eat anything for the rest of the day.

minji and hyein are visiting their parents. hanni and haerin are out of the country. and you're in the dorm kitchen trying to figure out how blurred the lines are while you mix the milk into your tea.

you feel your heart drop when you hear the sound of footsteps of the line-blurrer herself over the sounds of light rain. it hasn't stopped since the day before.

you don't want to feel anything right now, you don't want to hear anything right now.

she wraps her arms around your waist and says, "good morning." with that big bright smile on her face. at one point it started hurting when she did, but you don't remember when.

she smells like the candles you burnt in your room two days after hanni left. you were trying to get rid of danielle's scent from your room, but you couldn't tell her that, so you just said you were trying something new.

danielle notices you say nothing back, and your eyes are nowhere in particular. "watchu thinkin' about?" her always cheery tone gets you out of your trance, and she notices when you stop stirring the spoon in your cup. you're still silent for a bit, but she lets you take your time.

"i don't think we should do this anymore, danielle."

you tense up when her arms leave your waist, but it feels oddly freeing. you don't turn back to face her.

"what do you mean?"

"are we still casual?"

there's disbelief in danielle's voice when she speaks, "what are you talking about? of course we are!" but she sounds dishonest, in a way.

"really?" that's when you turn around, her eyes are wide and her cheeks are quite flushed but nothing about her seems guilty at all, "because saying "i love you" doesn't seem quite casual to me."

she scoffs, "y/n, i tell all my friends i love them. it's a normal thing!"

"i'd agree with you if we weren't kissing on the low. it's a little too much on top of that."

"i don't know what you think casual means but-"

"what i mean is we should stop before the lines start to blur, that's if they haven't already." you don't want to yell at her. you hope she understands before you have to raise your voice. "we are public figures, famous figures. if this goes wrong we can't go back and that could potentially ruin everything, not only for us but for our group."

"well, it can't go wrong if there's no feelings involved, can it?" danielle is usually playfully sassy, but she's never responded to you like this before.

"we're human, danielle. feelings can't be stopped." you're not too good at reading people, but you can see something has clicked in danielle's brain.

"what i'm getting is that you developed feelings for me while we were casual, is that right?" she seems so sure and confident that it annoys you. it frustrates you. and you want to cry.

"no, that's not what i said. but i am scared of it happening, and i want this to stop before it has the chance to."

"well, you should've thought of that before you said yes." you never really did.

"why are you upset, anyways?"

"b-because!" her voice gets louder, "i just wanted this to be casual, and now your telling me you're scared of catching feelings, it's just weird. that's all."

you sigh, "listen, i don't want this to end on a bad note. i just-"

"well, i don't want this to end at all!"

it takes you a minute to believe what you're hearing.

"a-are you hearing yourself?" it's shocking, it really is, "this is crazy, why are you being so selfish right now?"

"because it feels good! okay?!" danielle has completely let go of the loose strings of morality she was holding on to, "it fucking feels good, a-and you make me feel good. i like it when we kiss, and i like it when we cuddle and, and, i just like it, okay?!" that's the first time you've heard danielle curse in your entire life.

"okay, well, i'm glad you did. but i don't. i don't feel good at all." it's so scary and risky because you're two seconds away from telling her the truth, and this could potentially damage both your careers irreversibly, but you can't think of any lie or excuse that is true enough to keep hiding it.

"i drown in guilt every time we kiss and i feel like i'm choking when you look at me these days."

you've never seen her look so confused, like she really doesn't understand you. because she never had to.

"why?"

"i am a lesbian, danielle." you can't shatter, not now. "and it kills me because you'll never understand how hard it is to hide like this for so long. and yes, we hide this casual thing from our members, but after this is over you don't have to hide anything at all and i still have to hide everything."

she says nothing. her eyes soften, but you can't read them. not like you ever could.

"i didn't catch feelings for you, but i could, and you're not helping out. and you don't have to worry about that. you don't have to worry about your members being disgusted at you for something you can't change. you don't have to pretend. you don't have to be scared that you're making someone uncomfortable by simply existing beside them. i had to pretend i didn't care when you kissed me, i had to pretend to be okay when you kissed me again. i've been pretending to be okay with so much i don't know what being okay is anymore."

danielle still says nothing.

"but that's all gone to shit now, hasn't it?" your voice can't break now, but it does anyway, even when your not done speaking. "i can't be okay with everything. i can't be casual about everything, danielle. not anymore." there's a hot tear running down your cheek, but you try to hold yourself together.

"i never want to hurt you, ever, danielle. but i am seriously hurting myself. i am eating myself from inside out. there's nothing casual about that."

"i think i might be in love with you." is the first thing she says in minutes. and that's when you shatter completely. you turn around to leave your mug of now cold tea on the counter and you rest your elbows on it to hide your face in your hands.

"do you think that helps?" you're sobbing.

"i'm sorry. i know it doesn't. i just had a moment of realization and i think that's why i was so upset. i didn't want you to end this because i was in love with you since the start and didn't realize."

"this is fucking crazy." it really is, that's why you can't hold down the laugh of complete astonishment that leaves your lips. "do you realize how crazy this is? i just came out to you and you're- i don't even want to think about this."

"i'm really sorry, y/n." it's the first time you see guilt in danielle's face in a long time. "i really am. i really didn't know, i- i didn't know anything at all."

"you were upset of me potentially having feelings for you when it was you the whole time, huh?" this is no time or place to make jokes, you're literally crying as you speak. but this is hilarious. danielle seems to think so too given she also laughs.

"i don't know what i was thinking." she says, hiding her face in her palm in embarrassment.

"i wish i knew too." you say, "i never do."

"so what now? i mean, you clearly don't like me back." you don't understand how danielle does it. she never looks away, she faces the truth, something you're unable to do easily.

"that's a good question, i actually never thought about that." i mean, you thought the possibility of danielle ever liking a woman, let alone you, was at a mere 0.1%, can you blame yourself for not thinking of a solution to this?

"i mean, you did say you could."

"selfish asshole." you mutter to yourself, but danielle hears it anyways. "hey!"

"i'm crying right in front of you out of fear and frustration, have some respect, dude."

"i would say it wouldn't hurt to try but it clearly does so i don't know what you want to do." wow, danielle really could never do anything to make you hate her. nothing at all. "i don't mind being the selfless one this time."

"cheesy." she's always been like that, you can't say you hate it. "i'll reheat my tea and think about it."

danielle waits for you. maybe it wouldn't be so bad to risk falling in love with her too. you've risked it once.

the microwave beeps and you take your mug out. it's hot again. you turn to face danielle and she's still there, hasn't moved an inch. "i'm willing to give it a try. but nothing casual."

she shines you the widest grin you've ever seen from her. "nothing was ever casual, i fear."

"i still can't believe you cursed." you say as you walk past her to go to your room (that probably smells like danielle's perfume again).

"i did?!" she trails behind you. you nod. "i almost jumped."

"hey, am i the first one to know?"

"what, that i'm a lesbian?" she nods, now beside you. you shake your head after a sip of your tea.

"hanni knew."

"i'm not even the first? fuck..." is she doing this on purpose... she has to be, right?

"dude? hello?"

"don't dude me, i'm your future girlfriend." she hits your arm as you walk into your room. you don't know what you're gonna say to hanni when she comes back.

"confident much? shut up and pick a movie to watch." you'll figure it out later.

end.

🗒️ this wasn't as long as i thought it was gonna be THANK GOD

[caamboys]

Future Spouse

i hope you guys like this reading <3 plsss give me feedback !! and more recommendations !! taking requests <333

pick a pile

PILE ONE

channeled song

" wish you were sober " - conan gray

" save me til the party is over, kiss me in the seat of your rover, real sweet but I wish you were sober "

THEIR PERSONALITY -

the emperor, six of swords, six of pentacles, justice, the well

This is a very dominant , overprotective person. They have a powerful aura and seem very strong minded and authoritative. People know not to fuck with this individual. This is the type to defend you against anybody, who would literally fight for your honor. I see a very masculine individual with a very no bullshit attitude. I think this person has experienced karma firsthand so they take it very seriously. I feel like your future spouse has abandoned bad habits and vices and transformed the way they live for the better. They've had a bit of a toxic past they've outgrown and integrated into their journey. I wouldn't be surprised if your significant other broke some hearts. I see them abandoning their old habits after facing karma and retribution. This is someone who believes in change and growth and will encourage it in you as well. I see them in a stern yet gentle energy to encourage you to live better, eat better or become healthier. They're veryyy charitable, and most people would not realize this because of how intimidating they are. They're actually very giving and compassionate to others. I think something about them is intimidating and strong & that presents them differently than who they truthfully are. I believe this is a new person, someone you haven't met yet.

HOW THEY TREAT YOU

channeled song - " flawless by Beyoncé"

king of pentacles, judgement

Remember how I said they'd encourage you to be better?? This person is also going to raise your self confidence majorly. I see them constantly praising you, hyping you up and complimenting you. They love to praise your physical appearance, and go out out of their way to raise your spirits around them. They want to see you elevate and will do anything to make sure you do. With the king of pentacles, they're gonna spend A LOT of money on you 😘 I'm getting gift-giving and words of affirmation as their love languages. This is a financially abundant person, & I see them wanting to provide for you financially to prove themselves to you, to show you they can take care of you.

PILE TWO

channeled song

" NASA " ariana grande

" you know I'ma Star, space, I'ma need space, "

PERSONALITY

the star, the well, nine of wands, the magician, the emperor, eight of swords, ace of wands, six of pentacles, three of pentacles

I think this is a very popular extroverted individual. They're very well-known. I see a lot of people admiring your future spouse and putting them on pedestals. Your person may be very gifted either physically or with a certain skill. With the Magician and the Star card I see them being magnetic, and constantly praised. Lots of people favor this person. I get the sense that they're in a natural position of power. Despite this they work very well with others and don't mind collaboration. They go out of their way to empower others.

HOW THEY TREAT YOU

"high priestess, four of swords, the empress"

Channeled song - "Good life by G-easy ft Kehlani"

" We put the good in the good life, we put the bad in the past now we alright "

I think this person knows how to read your body language, expression and moods very well. They're very intuitive and wise when it comes to the way you're feeling. They learn this specifically to cater to you. I see a feminine energy here being taken care of and nurtured. They're very emotionally intune with you. I think their love language is slowing down their fast-paced lives to simply rest and relax with you. Quality time is definitely one of their love languages along with praise. With the 'Empress' here I see them thinking of you highly, someone they would be blessed to be with. They think you both are powerful and will go together well. If you're shy, they will inspire you to step into a powerful and confident energy. I see them reminding you of how highly they think of you and how well you go together. They will encourage you to be more comfortable being in the spotlight. You will be a power couple here with the 'Emperor & Empress'. I see you two stepping on necks.

PILE THREE

channeled song - blow my brains out by tikkle me

" sometimes I wish I could lend you my voice, lend you my heart, lend you my choice"

" lucky is she, who lives unaware. unlucky me knows way too much "

THEIR PERSONALITY

seven of wands, seven of pentacles, the sun, five of swords, two of pentacles, the chariot, judgement temperance, seven of swords, knight of wands

I think something about your future spouse triggers people's insecurities. They have a certain way of living that shines light on darker traits and habits in others. I see people causing strife and problems with your spouse because of their light. I'm seeing this person has been betrayed by people close to them because of this. They can be defensive with new people and who they share their path with. Their defensiveness with others can be a little bit immature and overbearing but I think they know when to balance themselves out. They give strong Scorpio vibes tbh. I see them being a natural born protector and fighter. They have an inner warrior inside of them. I'm seeing your person has fought a lot to get where they are, and they don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

How they treat you?

" Industry Baby " Lil Nas X ft Jack Harlow

" you was never really rooting for me anyways"

"I don't clear up rumors, where's y'all's sense of humor? "

the hermit, three of pentacles, temperance, queen of pentacles, nine of swords, knight of pentacles, king of sworfs

I see them being very ambitious in showing their love to you. They may come across as very intense but truly they crave partnership. I think from the start they will pursue you strongly. I know I mentioned them being overly defensive earlier but when it comes to you this person has extremeeee patience. You're the only person to tame this person's inner warrior. They'll bow to no one except for you. I see them wanting to stay inside and watch movies, talk and overall withdrawal from everyone expect each other. People will wonder how you managed to 'tame the beast'. This person wants a divine collaboration to grow a new life together. I'm seeing something about living together and possibly combining finances. This person may want you to stop working completely and take on any financial burdens in the relationship. I'm seeing them sacrifice anything for this relationship, to make sure they're offering you the best they possibly can. They're very confident and assured of their approach in love, sometimes even arrogant.

PILE FOUR

Six of cups, Five of Pentacles, The devil, The star, The lovers, King of cups

channeled song - "if I could I would feel like nothing"

I'm so sick of being tired, I'm so tired of being sick."

THEIR PERSONALITY

I see your person has been through some sort of turmoil in regards to family issues. I think this has caused a detached and dissatisfied energy with things outside of them. I think they battle things like depression, and the word insomnia just came through. I think because your person is very physically attractive and magnetic, people overlook their pain a lot. They may struggle being vulnerable because of that but I feel like the people attracted to this pile could be the opposite. I see the universe divinely orchestrating this connection for their healing. With the lovers card being here, I think they deeply crave emotional availability and to be truly in harmony with their own emotions. This might be someone you met already, I get a strong sense of childhood nostalgia with this person.

HOW THEY TREAT YOU

the sun, seven of pentacles, the hanged man, the well, strength, queen of pentacles

I see them abandoning and sacrificing parts of themselves that do not serve your relationship. I see them working incredibly hard to make your relationship happy and healthy. I think this person suppresses their depression around you, I'm seeing them specifically shine a light on all their best traits, showing off the best parts of themselves hoping it will be enough to compensate for their shadow side. Aww pile four I see them working to be emotionally balanced in this relationship. Aside from that I think their love language is acts of service. I see them being very productive in your relationship, cooking, cleaning, doing simple yet thoughtful tasks for you. I think you motivate them to work harder because I see them wanting to fulfill you financially. To take care of all your wants and needs. I see them taking you down a new journey with them, a journey filled with harmony, divine union and emotional vulnerability. The way they treat you transforms as your relationship continues to grow and blossom.

Thanks for reading 🩷🩷 I love feedback !!! <33

- C

[felassan]

What's all this about Solas speaking in iambic pentameter? English isn't my first language so I never noticed anything odd about the way he talks, but your blog is the first time I've seen it mentioned by anyone

hello! ◕‿◕ Solas sometimes speaks in a specific pattern or rhythm. It sometimes gets described as or compared by people to iambic pentameter. (which is a type of rhythm common in traditional English poetry. Shakespeare used it in his sonnets and plays.) Though, I'm not sure that it's actually literally that or always that. The main point is that at those times, he's speaking particularly poetically, with a specific poetic rhythm in his speech. (Like where the stress on syllables is and the 'beats' in his speech.) Occasionally, the Inquisitor's dialogue line[s] in response to him are the same.

When Trick Weekes wrote Solas in DA:I, they wrote some of his key scenes to KD Lang's cover of the song Hallelujah on a loop. They talked about some of their process and the reasons for the use of this technique in terms of Solas' characterization in this DA:I-era blog post:

Trick Weekes: "When Solas talks about things that he saw in the Fade, things that speak to a distant past, I needed him to sound ever so slightly otherworldly and wistful – someone remembering a dream with a sense of both sadness and inevitability. If you follow [that link] and look at some of Solas’s lines, you may notice a familiar rhythm come out. It would have been forcing it to give lines the same rhyme scheme, but giving the words the meter captured some of that wistfulness and made Solas sound ever so slightly otherworldly. (In the rare cases the player got into the same rhythm, there was always an approval bump from Solas. For that brief period, it was like the player was thinking like he did.) I used this a few times over the game, and I love what it did to his voice. Also, Cori (who edited Solas) is exceedingly kind for putting up with my request that changes to those lines keep this surreptitious rhythm."

[source]

An example of when it happens in DA:I is:

"I've journeyed deep into the Fade // in ancient ruins and battlefields // to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I've watched as hosts of spirits clash // to reenact the bloody past // in ancient wars both famous and forgotten. Every great war // has its heroes. // I'm just curious // what kind you'll be."

Compare this with the song's lyrics:

"I heard there was a secret chord // That David played, and it pleased the Lord // You don't really care for music, do ya? Well it goes like this: The fourth, the fifth // The minor fall, the major lift // The baffled king composing Hallelujah Hallelujah // Hallelujah // Hallelujah // Hallelujah"

An example from Trespasser is:

"I lay in dark and dreaming sleep [I heard there was a secret chord] while countless wars and ages passed [That David played, and it pleased the Lord] I woke still weak a year before I joined you. [You don't really care for music, do ya?]" etc.

Recent mentions of this are:

Q. Will Solas still occasionally or dramatically speak in iambic pentameter? A. “Massive kudos to Patrick, who always writes Solas so well. Again, Solas is a returning character. It’s the same Solas you know and love (or hate depending on who you are). The same writer. So I think the answer is yeah, it’s Solas.” – John Epler

[source: BioWare dev Discord Q&A on June 14th]

User: "you really went off with solas. but the iambic pentameter makes writing fanfic dialogue for him so treacherous..." Trick Weekes: "It doesn't always have to be in the cadence! Just when he's deeply feeling The Old Days! He's written in standard prose 99% of the time!"

[source]

I think he does it a bit in the gameplay reveal video [Veil ripping scene with Varric] too. hope this helps :>

[msg refs this post]

[For the developer Q&A from June 14th on Discord: Notes are here, re-watch link is here]

[slytherinshua]

A JERK. OR NOT?

genre. fluff. warnings. eunseok is a tiny bit jerk... he teases a lot. but he's actually whipped. pairing. eunseok x fem!reader. wc. 1.9k. request. requested by @eternalgyu: JDJSJS OK LISTEN EUNSEOK ACADEMIC E2L- HES ACTUALLY BULLYCORE TO HIS CLOSE FRIENDS BUT HES ALSO THE SWEETEST WHEN HES IN LOVE like he would make u miss ur bus after school and it would rain but then would walk u home w an umbrella HSJSJSJ IM SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM a/n. hehe i ate up this req TBH EUNSEOK IS SO HIGH SCHOOL BOYFRIEND THO??? i literally love him what

You had no idea how you had ended up in this position; somehow charming the school’s most popular guy. Most popular and biggest jerk. But God, who even cared if he was mean when he looked like an angel sent down from heaven to grace the school grounds?

Whenever someone new came to the school, there were several things that they were immediately made aware of. Most of them were given a list or told directly by one of the older students, while others learned naturally within a week of being at Chungdam High. 

First? Eating outside was infinitely better than eating in the canteen.

Second? Being late was worse than being absent.

And third? Song Eunseok was the king of the school.

New students could probably just tell from the way he carried himself that he knew he could get anyone to do what he wanted. He was lazy, slept in class, cut in line at the snackbar, toyed with the younger students for his own amusement. He never truly bullied people, but he tread the line sometimes, and you didn’t like it.

You weren’t new to the school. You had been attending since you graduated middle school, and you were ever aware of all 3 of these things. It wasn’t until you were in your graduating year that the third thing became as apparent as ever. For some reason— whether it was a Summer glow-up that you weren’t aware of, or a dare from his friends, or whether he had truly always liked you— at the very beginning of the year, Eunseok had asked you out.

You thought that rejecting him the first time would discourage him from his… fixation. But, to your dismay, after coming back from the fall break, he seemed as determined as ever to win you over. He even somehow got the seating arrangement to change so he sat right behind you. You spent the fall months trying to ignore his constant pestering and note passing. He liked to kick your feet under the table as well.

You didn’t really mind the most handsome guy at school paying attention to you, but you were confused. You definitely weren’t going to blindly accept his offer to be your boyfriend without first getting to know him, which was your secret mission for now.

Given that you didn’t go out of your way to avoid him, and still engaged in conversations with him, Eunseok kept his hopes up despite your original rejection. He was more sensible than his reputation might have painted for him. Yes, he enjoyed teasing people just to see their annoyed face, but bullying was a step too far even for him. 

Maybe it was his need for attention, but he thrived on anything he could get. Whether it was the girls all having crushes on him or the boys all being jealous of him— he tried to make sure that he was at the top of everyone’s mind. But he wasn’t a bully. Anyone with any sense would know that Chungdam High did not have a bullying problem, but if anyone were to fill in that spot, it would probably be Eunseok and his friends.

It was because of this ambiguity that you weren’t quite sure whether you should be wary of Eunseok or not. He had never shown an interest in you before, and you wanted to be positive that his affection was sincere before allowing your heart to be affected by his flirting tactics.

Flirting? Yeah, he was quite good at that, you realized after a week of his attention. Only because he had mastered flirting in a way that was not cliche or cheesy, but hanging in that sweet spot of summoning butterflies every time a word flew out of his mouth. Along with his stupidly attractive smirk that appeared whenever you blushed because of his words, you were quickly failing in your plan to be unaffected by him until you were sure you wanted to accept his offer.

It was a delicate balance of your brain’s hesitance and your heart’s curiosity. You had never been in love, and though sometimes you didn’t want to accept it, you craved experiencing that more than anything.

It was a Thursday afternoon, and you were sitting in the library during your free period. You had come in to get some work done, but instead you found yourself mulling over how Eunseok had acted around you for the last week. You still couldn’t tell whether he was being genuine or not, and that frustrated you. You decided you would just ask him the next time you saw him. Worst case scenario, you would discover that he really was just a jerk trying to play with your emotions.

It seemed as if he wanted that ‘next time’ to be right now, because he pulled out a chair across from you and sat down. He crossed his arms and propped up his feet on the table, blatantly ignoring library etiquette. You shook your head and scoffed, turning your attention back to your very blank notebook.

“You’ve been in here for an hour yet I haven’t seen you turn a single page.” Eunseok started, a smirk already playing on his lips. He had his secret hopes and suspicions that he might be the reason why you were so distracted today. He needed to test out the waters first, though. Your cheeks immediately coloured at being caught, and Eunseok was given a surge of confidence.

“If you’re not planning to study anyway, how about I buy you something at the snack bar? Hello Panda, right? Those are your favourite?” He was already standing up by the time you found yourself nodding your head. You had no choice but to pack up your books and follow him.

“Hey,” You started, taking the chance to ask him your question while he was buying the snacks for you. “Do you seriously like me? This isn’t some stupid dare that Sungchan made you do, right?” 

He was silent for a few moments— maybe the first time you had ever heard him stop and think. He grabbed the packet of Hello Panda from the bottom of the vending machine and turned to you.

“Yes. I actually like you.” His face was almost completely stonelike. He was trying not to express anything that could give away just how much he was entirely whipped for you. You could see it in his eyes, though. They looked nervous awaiting your answer.

“Really?” You asked skeptically, needing one more confirmation before you would allow yourself to fully believe him. You wanted to believe him. It was hard trying to ignore his affections towards you every day when your brain kept telling you to take this chance and experience love for the first time. 

“Yes. Really. How long are you going to keep asking that?” He said, a little on edge from the situation. It was uncomfortable to have to confess so openly. He could tease you all day without feeling nervous, but when you were staring at him so closely, he started to feel vulnerable. 

“Okay. Just making sure…” You grabbed the Hello Panda from his hands and walked off, heart racing just a little faster than your mind. He really liked you? So then… should you ask him out? You shook off the thought as you walked outside. Your bus would be arriving any minute, and you wanted to get home to think in the comfort of your bedroom.

You frowned as you stepped outside. It was raining— a small sprinkle for now, but it looked like it would only get heavier. You didn’t bring an umbrella. You checked your phone for the time.

Shit.

It was already 4:08. Your bus was probably already close to the bus stop. You took off running, eyes widening as you rounded the corner. The bus was already leaving. 

“No- No! Come back!” You shouted helplessly, slowing down as you caught up to the bus stop. You panted, scowling at your luck. You would’ve been on time if Eunseok hadn’t distracted you by buying you snacks. You supposed you shouldn’t blame him too much. It was a nice gesture. You were doubtful that the Hello Panda would stay nice if you had to walk home in the rain, though. There wasn’t another bus for over 30 minutes.

“Hey! How could you just leave like that!?” You heard a shout and turned. Eunseok was running towards you, his hand shielding his face from the rain that had gotten significantly heavier since you had reached the shelter of the bus stop. It looked like he didn’t have an umbrella either.

“What do you mean?” You muttered, looking away from him to stop your heart from racing further. 

“You’re really not going to say anything?” He asked weakly. 

“Get out of the rain.” You said, hoping to divert the conversation from the topic you still weren’t entirely sure about.

“Not until you give me an answer.” He said firmly and you sighed. “Please, I’ll stop if you say so… But I need you to say it. I’ve liked you for a year now. If you don’t tell me to stop then I’m seriously going to cross a line.” He warned, heart all choked up in his throat. 

You weren’t sure what to say or do. Eunseok stood, getting soaked from the rain, waiting anxiously for your response. You would be lying if you said that his flirtation over the past months hadn’t had an effect on you. You felt the sparks fly— you had reason to think that it could work out. 

“I’ve never… dated before.” You confessed nervously.

“That shouldn’t- No, that doesn’t matter. All that matters is if you want to.” He reassured you, his hopes rising every second that you didn’t say no.

“Then… I like you, Eunseok.” You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear it. Even though you said it softly, it rang around his head like an alarm. 

You liked him?

You liked him.

You liked him.

He couldn’t contain his elation, and rushed forward, capturing you in his arms securely. Though he was soaking wet from the rain, having him hold you felt… pleasant. Much nicer than you had ever anticipated. His touch was cold against your skin but your heart felt warm. Droplets of water from his hair dripped onto your shoulder as you hesitantly reached around to reciprocate the hug. 

You heard him giggle. It was adorable. You had rarely seen him smile unless it was a sarcastic smirk, but hearing that sound of pure joy coming from his mouth and knowing that it was because of you triggered your own happiness to spike. It felt nice. Really nice. You didn’t want to let go of the hug, so even when Eunseok started to move away and apologize for hugging you so suddenly, you pulled him back and buried your head further into his chest. He was taken aback by your sudden action.

“You’re so… cute.” He whispered. You smiled, colour rushing to your cheeks. You hid your face even more just in case he saw. His teasing was bad before, but now that you were sure you liked him, it wouldn’t be annoying, it would be embarrassing.

Unfortunately for you, he somehow did catch a glimpse of the blush and didn’t let it go for the entire walk home. Maybe he was still just a little bit of a jerk.

↳ riize taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kangtaehyunzzz,, @weird-bookworm,, @haecien,, @seolboba,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @cosmicwintr, @chiiyuuvv,, @evalevaeva

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐄 ❞

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 | 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc; Nadia

summary: a lil workplace visit can’t be that bad, right?

warnings: cussing, links to pinterest. a lil short, sorry!

saint’s team radio 🎀: hiiiii there. thank you for all the love on virgo’s groove, i truly love each and everyone of you! hope you enjoy this, babies!

pls like, comment and reblog!

dividers from @cafekitsune

fc: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!

renaissance: the series masterlist 🪩

Lewis had missed his wife, terribly so.

Often being reminded by most, that his companion was not next to him as much as she was the last two weeks. He never tired talking about her in any sense and to anyone who would listen. By now, she would’ve spoken about her students or a joke that her friends used to tell as she attended university many years ago. Possibly a song she was thinking about or a candy she tried from the hotel in Miami.

He had missed the bright smile she often displayed at anyone who was open to receiving it or whenever she spoke of her new friends. Lewis had realised she had quite the loud laugh, contradicting her quiet voice, and how she would laugh at his jokes, a quiet wheeze at first then a boisterous laugh following right after. He had also missed how she would slip into one of her many home languages whenever she spoke and how she would derail the conversation to explain every little thing in that specific language.

Surprisingly so, he liked seeing that she was spending his money, even after trying to convince her that it was totally okay. Lewis also liked how she would send little updates on her day just as he did as well, talking about how she’s constantly stopped in the streets for pictures and how shocked she always was that people recognised her.

He also liked the rambles she had whenever they got the chance to facetime. Making her blush at his words was always a sight to see and how she would try do it back but her giggles held her back.

Lewis missed Nadia. A lot.

Sitting in his hotel room in Barcelona, he stared at the suitcases that were waiting right by the door. He checked his carry on once again to check that the little gifts he got her were okay. The specific hoodie he was wearing still had faint scents of her perfume, making Lewis feel giddy to get home. Months ago, he would’ve always said that the world is his home but ever since he met Nadia, he could feel his smile get larger as his thoughts go on.

Managing to get a podium, just as he promised her, he remembered her excitement and astonishment when he explained how many he actually had. She went on to tell him that she’ll make celebratory baked goods for whenever he gets back. Lewis knew that he was distracted when he attended a dinner with some friends after the race, his phone couldn’t be separated from his hands. All that was on his mind was seeing her.

-

“I know we initially removed the second question from the assignment but the board brought it forward that it needs to be done.” As soon as Nadia finished her sentence, her year 12 students groaned loudly.

“It didn’t make sense to me either but because you’re my kiddies, I’ll research when I get home and just get a memo so you don’t have to worry. Even if you all write the same thing, it’s okay.” She assured, walking to her desk after handing out the ‘new’ assignment papers.

“Uh, Ms Brown. You said this can be typed out, right?” A hand that was raised asked. Before the teacher could answer, someone interjected.

“It’s Mrs Hamilton, Tash.” That made a few students laugh. Nadia would never get used to hearing herself being referred to that. Every time she even woke up in that house, it was unbelievable.

With a little chuckle, she put her pen down. “Thank you, Kim. But yes, it needs to be typed out and don’t forget to make a cover, everyone.” Picking up her pen once again, Nadia went on to work on the question that troubled the whole class.

Silence fell and all that was heard was faint music coming from some kid’s headphones as they worked on their assignment or their homework, Nadia never had an issue if they needed to complete other tasks from their other classes.

Glancing at the clock on her desk, there were at least two hours of school left but luckily, she only had a few classes that day and was able to go home early. An empty large mansion but it was home. Craving the vanilla macrons she made yesterday, Nadia was more than excited to get home.

It was also the day that she expected her husband back home from Spain. Mondays usually went slower than the usual but she pushed her excitement to the back of her head as she continued to work. There was still some time left with her favourite class so she relaxed in her seat.

Nadia’s phone kept buzzing with text messages as she typed away on her laptop, sending an apologetic look to the students who’s heads whipped at the distracting sounds. Picking it up, all she saw was messages from Maggie, the school office admin, sending through messages that basically implied that she was shaking, she was excited and constantly repeated ‘girllllll’.

The class was now interested in whatever was going on because Nadia’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. There was nothing she was aware of unless the principal wanted to talk to her about something but that was even more confusing.

A knock echoed through the classroom and she gave the student closest to the door a signal to open it and he froze at the door, seemingly starstruck. All the kids then leaned outside their desks to see and they began screaming in excitement at whoever was at the door. The figure walked in the door and Nadia’s stomach dropped at the sight.

“Oh my days, Lewis Hamilton is in my class!”

-

After eventually calming down the class who were still shocked and buzzing at the fact that Lewis was there, he offered to take pictures with everyone and even brought them doughnuts that he had left outside the class in hopes to surprise them. He locked eyes with his wife and made his way to her, signalling to the kids that he’d be right back to take pictures.

Nadia threw her arms around his waist as soon as Lewis was close enough, he kissed through her wig then her forehead, completely aware that the kids were watching and recording. “I don’t wanna get fired, Lew.” Nadia spoke, facing away from her students.

“I had a word with the principal, you’re good.” He reassured, patting her back. Winking at her as he went back to the excited kids, she felt the butterflies in her stomach. She also realised how spontaneous he was because he really just showed up to her work like he forgot who he was.

Getting home was a bit of a challenge, the rest of the school caught wind of his appearance and that was a mission in itself. To Nadia’s luck, school was still in session and she could get home early with her husband by her side. The deal was that Lewis would come speak to the kids one day in exchange for his spontaneity.

Climbing out of the Range Rover that she drove herself to school in, Lewis held her hand to the front door where his suitcases were waiting to be let in. It felt all so domestic like they’ve done this a thousand times before, taking off their shoes right by the door and she immediately slipped into her slides. The home smelt like a mixture of her sweet perfume, cookies and the ocean scented incense she bought for the house.

“Welcome home!” Nads turned around after dropping all her things on the kitchen island to throw her arms around his neck for the physical touch they had been waiting for. They melted into the hug, faces digging into each other’s necks, engulfing each other with their warmth. The two stood there for what seemed like an eternity before letting go eventually. “That felt good, wow.” Lewis said, his eyes taking in every part of her face.

He had missed her so much.

“Right? It felt like a month apart. How are you feeling? Spain was something else.” Nadia smiled, still unable to look at him in his eyes. Before he could answer, he knew he couldn’t just outright say anything to her yet. Lewis couldn’t tell her that he’s falling for her so quickly, so much so that he wanted to shout it out to the world. He did that already, the world just doesn’t know that all of this isn’t real.

“I’ve been alright, just wanted to come back home and relax. Getting that podium though,” Lewis breathed out. “Please, you made it look flawless.” Nadia interrupted, with a ‘duh’ expression on her face. He couldn’t help but genuinely smile at that.

She walked further into the kitchen and he followed after her like a puppy, waiting for her to do anything. “I made you vegan vanilla macrons for your podium and my non-vegan ones are in a different lunch box.” Nadia tapped the lunch box labelled ‘vegan’ with her freshly done nails then placed it on the kitchen counter.

“Ohh shit, I forgot I got you something else as well!”

Nadia ran up towards the stairs, spewing out the words as Lewis watched her with a smile on his face, leaning his head on his hand. Deciding to make himself comfortable in the living room, he waited for her.

Quick steps of her sandals echoing throughout the main floor, she came through with a medium sized box in hand, a proud smile on her face as she plopped herself right next to him on the couch. “So. You know how I said that I love sourcing for archives in fashion or the latest pieces that are just tough to find?” Nadia started.

“Yeah…..” Lewis responded with a slight lift of his eyebrow.

“This is a gift I want to give to you since you did so good in Spain but I got it like days before the podium so I had to pray that you did good.” She added, unable to contain her smile as she handed the box to him. Sitting down quite close to each other, she watched as Lewis carefully ripped the gift wrap.

He was smiling before he fully opened his gift. “I can feel you just jumping’ in excitement.” Lewis said, his natural accent and voice coming into light. The same voice he used to when he felt right at home.

Eventually putting all the gift wrap to the side, he faced the box in curiosity, opening it and being prepared to see anything. “You’re joking.” Lewis said in shock, staring at Nadia who’s smile was brighter than the sun itself. “It was tough finding these but I do hope you like them, Lew.” She responded.

“These were made-“ “By Virgil, yep. I knew that you guys had a good friendship so when I came across these, they reminded me of you guys.” She informed and giggled at Lewis constantly looking back and forth at the shoes. The Nike x Louis Vuitton air force one was apart of a collection released in honour of Virgil Abloh, Lewis’ friend and Nadia’s inspiration in the fashion world.

Lewis couldn’t contain himself and stood up abruptly, pulling Nadia with him to wrap his arms around her and give her an even warmer hug. A bit shocked, Nadia quickly recovered and returned the same energy towards him. “Thank you, Nads, truly. Not just for the shoes but just…everything.”

“Anytime, pookie bear.” Nadia moved her head to look directly into his eyes, focusing on every crevice of her face. Looking down at her neck, he caught a glimpse of shining silver jewellery sitting pretty on her neck, only used to seeing gold pieces only.

“Is that 44 on your necklace?” He pointed it out, looking back and forth between her face and her jewellery. “Oh! Yeah, I wanted it to match my ring. The world is getting familiar with this face, might as well add to it.” Nadia said with a smug smile and Lewis had to collect himself but he realised he was right home.

Adding a little chuckle, he lowered his large hands from the middle of her back to her ass then her thighs, getting a yell out of her when she wrapped her legs around his waist. “Wanna get the neighbour familiar with you?” Lewis smirked, licking his lips at the same time.

“Let’s get right to it, Sir.” She responded, giggling as he started rushing to the bedroom, holding onto her tightly as they went up the stairs.

-

lewishamilton

lewishamilton a week filled with love and joy. canada, here we come ~

tagged: @/nadiahamilton

view all comments

nadiahamilton i look too good 🤭

lewishamilton you always do

nadiahamilton omg STAWWP 🥹

user dawg this is so unfair, you don’t get it

fencer my best friends 🥹

liked by lewishamilton

user mother and father

kehlani sleep with one eye open, mister

lewishamilton it’s sir

kehlani i’m still taking your wife, leprechaun 🫵🏽

user seeing you two in Canada!!

user this man is too gone, bridgerton level simp

user well duh, if you were with Nadia, you’d be too

lewishamilton this is true, she hung up the moon and the stars

user OOOOHHHHHH LEWISSSSSS 🙂‍↕️

chunks your home is so beautiful, thanks champ 🫡

user lewis is friends with the beta squad????

user they’re nadia’s friends

louisvuitton hope you loved your gift! 🤍

lewishamilton it was gifted by Nads so it was the best 🫶🏽

user you guys are so cute, it HURTS

canadagrandprix thee it couple

mercedesamgf1 has more stories about Nadia than the Spanish gp, we have to respect it

badgalriri got a problem? 🤨

user they got Riri clocking they asses 😭😭😭

nadiahamilton

nadiahamilton i’m the cooler one

view all comments

tyla you’re the coolest of them all 😝

nadiahamilton love you always!!

nellarose_ that french vanilla cake you made? signing you up for masterchef rn!

nadiahamilton girl pls 😭

user you guys remember when the wags called her tinkerbell? she literally is tinkerbell in real life 😭

user and she smells like money and sweet flowers ‼️

nataliatheedon come back to America rn

nadiahamilton canada’s the best i can do 😣

user i feel like a certain canadian rapper is gonna show up lol

user i’m from toronto and there’s a rumour that lewis’ people are blocking off that rapper from getting near nadia because he keeps reposting her pics lollllll

user no ways lewis actually has shooters???

user he’s Lewis, what did you expect? 😭

zendaya mother graced us with her presence once again

nadiahamilton love you Z 😚

louisvuitton 🤍🤍

sza hand in marriage?

lilymhe omg hiii, let’s redo monaco?

lewishamilton hi sweetheart

nadiahamilton hi my love

user PARENTS

saint’s notes 🪩: heyyyy babies! this is one is quite short lol but i hope you enjoyed! love u all 😚 also noticed the colour schemes for their insta posts? 🫡

taglist: @non-stop-imagines @motheroffae @perfecttrashface @thisismeracing @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @cocobutterqwueen @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @littlelizzies-world @httpsserene @apenasumlug4r @youre-sooooo-funny @eddiesbitch83 @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @sunfairyy @vsfavs @louvrepool @mistruscity @tian-monique @hopefulromantic1 @exotic-iris13 @yeea-nah @nichmeddar @gg-trini @lifeless-firefly @vellicora @takeoffz-tookoff9876 @serpenttines-library @emjayewrites @royallyprincesslilly @lewisroscoelove @purplelewlew @xoscar03 @kidsol-ar @nothaqks @tremendousstarlighttragedy @ggaslyp1

if your account is blank, that mean tumblr can’t find you!

[mysticheathenn]

What Are The Lies You Tell Yourself?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about the many things you tell yourself to keep yourself small, stay in toxic relationships, make yourself feel bad, etc. Maybe even words of kindness to help dispel those lies.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

MasterList

Patreon Link

Ko-Fi Donations

Next Reading: Patreon (unless spirit says otherwise)

Pile l:

What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 4 Swords (reversed), 2 of Swords, Awakening, 9 of Wands, 7 of Swords (reversed)

Pile l you have two different messages so I will start off with the first message of those who like to self-sabotage their lives. You like to feed yourself the narrative that you are too busy and everything is hard because you are afraid of failure. You are afraid of the things that can come from actually doing the many things that you say you want and will do. This might be success, failure, or fear of losing those around you because you aren't sure if leveling up will cause a rift or if people will start asking for money but either way, you refuse to look at yourself with complete honesty and accountability when it comes to achieving your goals because you are always feeding yourself lies as to why you can't do them out of fear of the unknown and it's time you stop lying to yourself. This doesn't even have to be a fear of failure or success, etc this could just be you feeding into your imposter syndrome or for some of you feeding into your Lana Del Rey era where you fear if you aren't sad, stressed, or anxious you won't be loved, be a funny person anymore, whatever the reasoning is. You have to give yourself a chance to fly or else you will never know what you are truly capable of or even know if you can really fly.

The 2nd message is for those who identify with hyper-independence. You refuse to acknowledge the fact that the reason you do everything yourself is because you fear having the few people around you let you down like others have. So you continue to feed this narrative of "I like to do things myself." "I'm the only one who can do things right around here." While some of it may be true...you really deep down fear people letting you down again. You are prolonging the inevitable of letting people show you who they really are. Let others around you help you so you can have a break now and then, stop always trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. If someone messes up or doesn't come through...so be it. You can't control everything in your life...you are going to have to release some of that control and go with the flow and allow things to come and go no matter how lonely or horrible the feeling may feel. Better will come when you stop trying to control everything.

Extra Messages: Tea Trea Oracle Deck: June, Slowly but surely getting ahead, dissatisfaction with life, An exciting life, waiting for news/ package/ or letter, Do not back down from the opposition show strength and fortitude, solid foundation success with effort, feeling tied down or frustrated.

Pile ll:

What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 7 of Cups, The Star, Page of Cups, 8 of Swords, Queen of Pentacles.

Similar to how pile l has two messages so does this pile. The first message I would like to ask is who hurt you? Who hurt you enough to where it made you believe that you can't be loved, shouldn't be loved, nor seek love. You continuously keep yourself in a small corner...my own little corner from the Cinderella movie featuring Brandi is playing in my head (Link to Song). Long story short you feel small when you are around others like you have to change who you are in order to be and feel loved but when you are alone you are exactly who you want to be if not exactly who you want to be at least you have an idea or a sense that who you are currently is not who you want to be and it's sad love. I want to hug you and let you know that you should be around others who see you, for you. You are not hard to love and you deserve the best and purest love there is. Stop feeding into the narrative of others as your own, because it's not.

The second message is similar to the first message and a little bit of the first message of pile l. You like to tell yourself reasons why you don't deserve nice things or feed into the mindset that you will never amount to financial abundance. I feel some of this mindset has to deal with childhood/adolescent trauma others of you this may have developed because you kept feeling like every time you got a leg up life would knock you down a peg as to tell you, you aren't meant to have good things when in reality life was trying to redirect you or point you in a direction of something better. You were meant to shine and have many options of abundance in your life. This message is for a few of you but this also has to deal with your looks. You possibly feel that your looks are not up to par and that everyone you meet is always better looking than you. You may also have a fear that if you ever did decide to date that the person you are with would leave you for someone better looking or "better" in general.

Extra Messages: Tea Trea Oracle Deck: A path with money is waiting for you to find it, Getting together with friends, Take care or there will be a loss of material wealth, Opportunity of windfall, Stepping into a new experience, Work/success/achievement, Affairs with your family.

Pile lll:

What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 5 of Wands, Justice, 6 of Cups, 10 of Wands

This doesn't feel like a lie per se that you tell yourself like the other piles but more so of the delusion you feed yourself. This feels more of a victim mentality mixed in with entitlement and before you say nope not me....*David Beckham's voice* Be Honest. How do you feel when you aren't getting your way or dealing with small inconveniences. Be Honest. If the answer is you complain about life not being fair and you go into victim mentality mode that everything always happens to you and not for you or you just feel for whatever delusional reason that life must always cater to you without any kind of effort is....quite bold...I will applaud you for that love. You have the confidence of a mediocre white man, haha. I love to see it. This per se again isn't all that bad but it kind of is as it stems from your childhood of you parents always handing you gold stars for just existing or putting in "at least they did it" energy. You like to believe that you are doing hard work or you are doing a lot when really you self-sabotage or you do one little thing and expect life or others to bend towards your will because you "tried". This message doesn't even feel like a message to help guide you but more so to act as a mirror because it has been a while since you have been completely honest with yourself and your behavior. Some of you might be sick of yourselves and need this while others of you don't smell your own shit.

Extra Messages: None. You don't really need extra messages as your reading was all the message that you needed for a shift and clarity on how things are. Stop lying to yourself. Look in the mirror and ask if you really love what you see? If you really love the kind of person you are? If you really love how you move in your life towards things you want.

Pile lV:

What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: The Tower, The Empress, The Sun, Queen of Cups

Three major arcana cards and one minor arcana say a lot about you, pile lV. At first because of the type of reading this is I thought maybe you might be afraid or lying to yourself about becoming successful or experiencing happiness but as I drew clarifiers for your pile it started to come together that you are not being authentic to who you are in your feminine energy. What I mean is that you are people-pleasing way too much to the point where when you want to say no, you say yes instead. This pile gives me the vibes that when a guy approaches you, you are on your "best lady-like behavior when politely declining the guy." Even when he keeps persisting and etc you refuse to act out of character and say listen my guy back the fuck up and fuck off. Take a hint. You can be in your feminine energy and still maintain boundaries, and say what you want to say without coming off as "hard, rough around the edges, etc. There was a YouTube short the other day that was from the Clock app where someone was making fun while also having a point when it comes to people pleasers. "Oh, you're such a people pleaser...how many people have you pleased?" So many people have stitched it not being able to answer this question because who have you pleased? Do you consider yourself a dog pleasing its owner for treats, shelter, and so forth. For some of you, this all stems from childhood because maybe you grew up in a transactional household where your parents or family didn't do anything for you without expecting something in return, or even romantic and friendships have done this. It's okay to say no from time to time. It's okay to not be this prime and prissy-like persona. Again you can be loving and kind while still painting boundaries and saying no to things you don't want to do.

Extra Messages: None like pile lll, you don't really need any extra messages as your message has everything that you need to hear.

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

Next Reading: Patreon (Unless spirit says otherwise)

[newtthetranswriter]

Hello !

Firstly thank you for all of works on FT !! Is it possible for some hc for Natsu , Gajeel , Sting & Grey with a s/o that is jealous about their relationship with Lucy , Levy , Yukino & Juvia ? Everyone think that these four will end up with the 4 girls without knowing they already have a s/o . How and will they tell people they already have an s/o ?

Thank you & take care of yourself :)

A/n: Hello, Firstly your welcome for all the FT work. Secondly Thank you for the request I love this idea. So I hope you enjoy and as always remember to hydrate or diedrate.

Natsu:

You guys just never thought announcing your relationship was necessary

So when Lucy joined and people started commenting on the chemistry between them Natsu brushed it off as just jokes

He doesn't even notice your jealous until you start distancing yourself from him

When he finally catches a clue he is confused why you would be jealous, after all he chose you didn't he?

But he would definitely take the time to reassure you that you have nothing to worry about

after making sure you know nothing will ever happen between him and Lucy, He will make an announcement to the Guild

Like he's jumping on a table and proclaiming that he is in love with you and will never look at anyone else the same way

After words he is more aware of comments about him and Lucy and shuts them down as soon as he hears them

Gajeel:

He was the one to suggest keeping the relationship quite, after every thing he did to fairy tale he didn't want you to get criticized for what he has done

When people started making comments about him and Levy, he just ignored them because he already had someone

So when you started to distance yourself he didn't really think it was connected

But once Panther Lily tells him that he needs to make it clear how he feels, he begins brainstorming

the next time you walk into the guild hall be ready for Gajeel to be on stage singing a song about you that barely make any sense

Once he finishes the song, even if he is slightly embarrassed he will pull you in front of everyone and announce that you are together and that he'll punch anyone who makes you feel bad

Gray:

You guys agreed that with Juvia's weird obsession with Gray, keeping your relationship between you and maybe your closest friends was the safest bet

But as Juvia became more touchy and more direct about her feelings, it put both you and Gray on edge

When he starts to notice you shying away from even just sitting together at the guild hall, he is more than ready to do something about it

He will fully put Juvia in her place, telling her that He is dating you and that if she keeps up with her shit or does anything to make you uncomfortable he'll take the problem to the master

he's not playing around, he doesn't want her kicked out of the guild but if she keeps making you uncomfortable then so be it

Sting:

It was your Idea to keep it on the down low, only Rouge, Frosch, Lector, and Yukino know

You just felt that with him being the new Saber tooth master, people would think he was showing favoritism if they knew you were together

He didn't like the idea but because you asked for it to be that way he accepted

But then rumors started spreading that he was showing favoritism to Yukino and you started to pull back from him

Both Yukino and Sting shut down every rumor as carefully as they can with out revealing who Sting is actually dating

Sting also tries his best to assure you that nothing is happening between him and Yukino

Eventually though it's Frosch who manages to get everyone to shut up about Sting being with Yukino

Frosch being as dumb as they are forgot it was supposed to be a secret

One afternoon when everyone was just chilling in the guild hall when someone asks Sting when he plans to marry Yukino, and before anyone else can tell them to shut up Frosch just goes "but Frosch thought Sting wanted to marry Y/n" queue the whole guild going dead silent

After Frosch's little comment everyone was confused so Sting rolled with it, deciding that he might as well just announce that. yes you and him are in fact together

(divider by @/cafekitsune)

[steddieas-shegoes]

“Steve! We have to go!”

“I’m coming!” He yelled back to Robin, still searching through his closet for the pants he planned for their night out. “Where the hell are they?”

He was throwing things out of the way, not caring where they landed.

That was a problem for future Steve.

Current Steve needed to look as hot as possible.

His dry spell would be over tonight. He wasn’t leaving the bar until it was.

“Steve!”

“Robin! Where are the jeans?”

“What jeans?”

“The jeans! The ones that you told me to wear!”

“Didn’t you wear them yesterday?”

“No! I saved them!”

But Steve looked over at his laundry basket where his shirt was hanging over and the pair of jeans he was looking for peeked through.

He did wear them yesterday.

Fuck.

Okay, back up options.

The dark jeans that actually probably belonged to someone else and didn’t fit his thighs right? No, he needed to show off his thighs.

The light jeans he hadn’t worn in at least a year because there was a questionable stain that wouldn’t come out? Well, it would be dark in the bar, but no. He’d know about it.

The jeans he wore earlier that weren’t special but also weren’t bad? How would that help him get laid? No.

So he looked back the jeans in his hamper, ignoring Robin’s angry yelling from outside his door.

“Found them! Two minutes!”

He put on the jeans, hoping they didn’t smell or have any stains on them.

He ignored Robin as he threw on his coat that was hanging on the back of the couch and ignored the dull headache blossoming across his temples.

He opened the door and started to leave.

“You coming?” He asked over his shoulder, laughing when Robin smacked his arm as she passed by him.

“Don’t act like you’re waiting on me. I’ve been waiting on you for 30 minutes!”

They barely spoke on the way to the bar, Robin already sensing his headache and probably hoping the silence would make it better before the night got started.

She was amazing.

Steve couldn’t live without her.

But hopefully, they’d both find someone tonight. They needed it.

— — — —

Steve wasn’t having any luck. In fact, he’d never had worse luck.

His head was pounding at this point, music much louder than usual, more people crowded around his usual spot. The three men and one woman he’d danced with so far were fun, but not really his type. He’d been a little upset about seemingly wasting his time, but swallowed down the bitter feeling when he saw Robin dancing with the same girl for three songs, huge smile on her face.

At least one of them was getting something from tonight.

He stood at the far corner of the bar, trying to be out of the way as best he could. He needed to have some water, but he knew the bartender wouldn’t be pleased about getting pulled away from actual paying customers. He would wait for a lull and then get his attention.

It was a new guy, or at least one who didn’t normally work the shifts Steve was here. He was pretty.

There was no other way to describe him; long, curly hair, tattoos everywhere, wide Bambi eyes, tall and thin frame that still held hidden muscle. Steve’s dream, really.

Too bad his vision was getting blurry from the headache.

He had to reevaluate his plan and get water now before he went into full migraine territory. He couldn’t pull Robin away from her night just because he had to get home safely with a debilitating migraine.

He started trying to wave to the bartender anytime he looked over towards Steve’s end of the bar, but it didn’t work.

He tried yelling over the crowd and music, but it ended up making his head throb worse.

He finally managed to throw a napkin at him when he was standing a few feet away.

Not his finest moment, but he’d apologize when he had water.

The bartender looked over at him with raised brows.

“Need something?”

Steve couldn’t help the shame he felt about literally everything happening at that moment.

“Water please?”

The bartender nodded once and grabbed a cup to fill with ice and water. Steve felt some of his muscles relax knowing that he was going to be able to hydrate a little.

When he placed it in front of Steve, he slid a small cup of lemons with it.

“Squeeze a little in there. Helps with headaches.”

Steve knew he was looking at Eddie like the sun shone out of his ass. It would be embarrassing if he wasn’t so dreadfully miserable from the almost-migraine.

“Thanks.” Then he realized how shitty he must look if the bartender knew what was going on from just looking at him. “Wait. How’d you know?”

“My uncle gets them bad. He always gets pale and his eyes get bloodshot when one’s coming. You looked in the mirror lately?”

Steve shook his head, then winced at the way it made his head pound.

“You here with someone?”

“Yeah. She’s dancing.”

“Need me to have an announcement made for her?”

“No, let me drink this first.”

The bartender nodded, but Steve noticed he kept checking on him between serving other drinks to people.

Steve used more lemon than he probably should have, but he had a whole cup of it, and it couldn’t hurt to use more.

He rested his head against the wall next to him, wincing at the excessive vibrations from the music.

Normally, he loved that their hole in the wall bar got loud and fun once a week. Tonight, he wished he could be surrounded by silence.

He knew he was getting worse, but he didn’t want to bother Robin, who was still dancing with the same girl. She’d probably go home with her as long as Steve didn’t interrupt.

He felt a hand on his forehead, slowly brushing sweaty hair away. He tried opening his eyes, but even the small amount of light seeping through his eyelids was too much.

“Hey, I’m Eddie. I’m the bartender. My relief just walked in so I’m gonna help you to the back, okay?”

Steve could barely nod, the pain in his head throbbing down his jaw and neck. He reached his hand towards the voice and managed to make contact with Eddie. Hopefully, Eddie understood he was not gonna be able to do anything helpful at this point.

He felt an arm around his waist, guiding him away from the bar, but Steve still didn’t want to try opening his eyes. He had to trust Eddie.

He should’ve stayed home. He knew the dull pain he felt earlier would turn into worse, but he was so stuck on getting in bed with someone, he came anyway.

Eddie was walking slowly, keeping a firm grip on Steve so he wouldn’t jostle him around too much. Maybe if Steve weren’t getting his brain attacked by hammers and knives, he’d be trying to get Eddie in bed.

That thought came and went though as he realized how pitiful it was that a grown man couldn’t even walk himself home because he had a migraine.

Eddie would probably tell this incredibly embarrassing story to everyone here and laugh about it for weeks.

Steve was in and out of it for the next few minutes, unable to really focus on anything around him besides the warm hand on his hip. Despite being sweaty enough to wring water from his shirt, he still felt cold, shivers occasionally wracking his body.

This was a really bad one.

He was so stupid for being stuck in a bar for this.

His brain registered a door closing, then a fan turning on. It wasn’t completely silent, but the outside noise was a small echo in his brain compared to the banging it had been previously.

“Gonna set you on the couch in the corner and get some ice.”

Steve didn’t acknowledge him, but he let out the most ridiculous whimper when Eddie set him down on the couch, slowly laying him back so his whole body was flat. He heard the door open and close, but was so focused on how nice the air from the fan felt, he didn’t hear the door open and close when Eddie came back in.

“Alright, gonna put this on your head. Where’s it hurt?”

“Everywhere.”

Eddie sighed, but placed the bag of ice on his forehead to start.

“Get these often?”

Steve appreciated his very low voice, knowing that anything at a regular volume would probably be too much in this quiet room.

“Mhm.”

“I grabbed you more water too. Think you can have a sip?”

“Mm. No.”

He heard Eddie laughing quietly, but he couldn’t smile back at him.

“You live close?”

“Mhm. Mile.”

“I live closer.”

“Hm?”

“Welcome to my humble abode. I own the bar, work at the bar, and live at the bar. Technically this is the staff office, but upstairs is my bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. If you think you can handle the stairs, you can sleep in my bed and I’ll take the couch. I’ll let your friend know you’re here too if you give me a name.”

“Steve.”

“Your friend’s name is Steve?”

“No. Mine.”

“Okay, what’s your friend’s name, Steve?”

“Robin.”

He tried opening his eyes so he could see his surroundings, but they were so heavy. Leave it to Steve to end up suffering with the worst migraine he’s had all year at a bar with a hot bartender taking care of him and he can’t even open his eyes to fully appreciate it.

He distantly heard the door again, but must’ve fallen asleep for a bit because the next thing he knew, he felt hands on his face.

“You’re sure he can stay here?”

“Robs?”

“Steve. You idiot. You should’ve told me it was getting worse.”

She was whispering, but she was angry with him and he knew she would be yelling if she was a worse friend.

“Sorry.”

“Eddie’s gonna handle it. I’m gonna take Chrissy home. You call me as soon as you’re up, got it? I’ll send the cops here to break down the doors if I don’t hear by lunch time tomorrow.”

“Got it.”

He was gonna forget, but hopefully Eddie would remind him.

When he had bad migraines, he pretty much forget everything he did or said. None of the doctors could explain it. He’d had scans done, and there were no signs of memory diseases, so it was just a part of the trauma from multiple concussions.

He could hear Robin telling Eddie the same thing. If he could make his face work, he’d probably smile.

He drifted again, but he could hear Robin still talking to Eddie as he did.

The next time he was fully aware, he was in a bed. The bed was huge, and there were so many pillows around him, it felt like a fort.

Two blankets were on top of him, one so soft he couldn’t help rubbing his cheek against it. He was surrounded by a cozy, light cologne smell.

He was also fully clothed.

His jeans were itchy, and he suddenly felt claustrophobic as he realized the sun was up and he was alone in a stranger’s bed.

He sat up and looked around.

The room itself wasn’t that big, the bed taking up most of the space. The door was closed, but he could hear someone moving around outside of it. He looked to the right to see a door that must lead to a bathroom.

He quickly got out of the bed, shoving his shoes on and grabbing his wallet off the table. He opened the door and saw the back of a man with long, curly hair.

The bartender.

Eddie.

Eddie had taken care of him during his migraine. His migraine that he should’ve known was coming and stayed the hell home.

He was an idiot.

When Eddie turned around, he felt his heart stop.

God, he was pretty.

Like, Steve might have to change up the nights he comes to the bar just to get a glimpse of this beautiful man.

“Hey. Feeling better? Must be since you’re standing without support.”

Steve blushed. He’d never been in this position before, and he had no idea what the proper etiquette is for thanking someone for taking care of you when you’re unable to even move or talk.

“Uh. Yeah, much better. Um.” Steve awkwardly stood by the counter while Eddie continued mixing coffee in a mug. “Thanks for. All that.”

Eddie was laughing. In another circumstance, Steve may have found it cute, maybe been proud of himself for making a hot guy laugh.

But he was dealing with a migraine hangover, which usually left him grumpy.

Eddie must’ve noticed because he stopped laughing abruptly.

His head tilted to the side as he looked Steve up and down.

“You know, Robin called four times already this morning to check on you. You should probably call her and let her know I didn’t murder you and hide the body already.”

“Okay. Yeah. I.” He felt around in his pockets and couldn’t feel his phone. Shit.

“Over there. Charging.” Eddie said as he pointed towards the table by his front door.

“Thanks.”

Steve walked over to his phone to see 33 missed calls from Robin.

He called her back immediately, not wanting her to actually show up with a SWAT team.

“Thank god! Steve, I told you to call by lunch. I was just about to call Hop.”

“You’re the one who left me here.”

“Yes, assuming you’d wake up early enough that I wouldn’t assume you’ve been murdered!”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 3:00, Steve!”

“Fuck. Okay. I’m leaving now.”

Eddie cleared his throat and nodded at the counter, which now had a plate of fried eggs, toast, bacon, and sausage on it.

“Okay I’m eating, then I’m leaving.”

“You better text me. I’ll show up with Hop!”

“Robin. Jesus.” Steve felt a bit lightheaded. “I am literally at the bar. You know where I am and who I’m with. Chill.”

“You were incapacitated.”

“And now I’m not. I can escape if I have to.”

“You’re not as strong as you think you are!”

He hung up before she kept going. She would stay on the phone for hours if he let her, and he wasn’t in the mood.

He made his way to the counter and sat down, smiling at the steaming food.

“You didn’t have to cook all this. Especially this late in the afternoon. You probably have to head down to the bar.”

“Nah. I own the place. I just work there to keep myself busy. I’m all yours until you’re good to go home.”

Steve didn’t have much of a response for that, his brain still firing on the bare minimum. Migraine hangovers were worse than actual hangovers.

He ate a few bites silently, then looked up to see Eddie setting a cup of tea in front of him.

“What’s this?”

“Technically, sleepy time tea. But it works really well for headaches.”

“Oh. Thanks. It won’t like, make me fall asleep?”

Eddie laughed and Steve decided he was happy to hear it now.

“No. It has relaxing properties to it, but it doesn’t actually make you drowsy.”

Steve took a few small sips and smiled.

“It’s good.”

“My uncle says I make the best.” Eddie leaned over the counter with a smile. “So, you thought going to a bar was a good idea with a headache? On our DJ night?”

“It wasn’t that bad when I left. Thought I’d be okay.”

“Mhm. So you get these a lot?”

“Well. I mean I do get migraines a lot. But that one was one of the worst I’ve had in a while. I can usually still talk and walk enough to get to my own bed.”

“Do you remember everything?”

Steve knew he had a lot of blank spots in his memory from last night. If Eddie wasn’t such a nice guy, he’d probably be more worried about it.

“No. I have memory problems when I get them.”

“Ah. Well that’s okay. I got you into bed pretty easily. You only woke up twice. Once to use the bathroom, which you managed to do alone. The second time you were crying about having to sleep alone? I couldn’t understand all of it, but that seemed to be the gist.”

“Oh.” Steve sighed. “That’s super embarrassing. Guess I’ll never come back here. Maybe never leave my house again.”

Eddie smirked. “I dunno. I think maybe I could fix the sleeping alone thing. You know, when you’re not incapacitated from a migraine.”

“You’re serious?”

Eddie nodded.

“You saw me like that and would actually want to be around me again?”

“I was hoping for more than around you. Maybe on you? In you? Next to you? All of those sound good.”

Steve choked on his next bite.

“Uh.”

He took a sip of the tea to help clear his throat, ignoring the way Eddie was moving around the counter.

“You know, Robin kept me on the phone for about an hour earlier, telling me all about how you’re the best guy she’s ever known and she’s a lesbian for a reason so that means a lot. Said you guys come here once a week because it’s the best place to find decent people, not just anyone. Said you’ve both had a bit of a dry spell.”

“She’s exaggerating.”

“Oh, so it hasn’t been eight months since you’ve taken someone home?”

“No.”

Eddie’s eyebrows raised in a challenge.

“It’s been ten.”

“My bar hasn’t been good to you, I guess.”

“Up until last night, I guess not. But I still prefer it over the clubs.”

“Until last night?”

“Yeah. The guy who owns the place kind of rescued me and let me sleep in his really comfy bed. He probably deserves something for that.”

“Oh? What does he deserve?”

“Well, I’d offer a blowjob, but I’m out of practice and might disappoint.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“But maybe he’d be okay with a real date?”

“When would this date be?”

“Maybe tonight?”

“Hm. He has to check the bar schedule, make sure no one needs coverage.”

“He can text me later to confirm.”

“I sure hope you’re giving me your number to do that.”

Steve laughed and held his hand out. Eddie placed his phone in his hand and waited for him to type his name and number in his contacts.

When Steve handed it back, their hands grazed each other. Eddie wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, squeezing for a moment.

“Dinner here? Maybe 8?”

“I thought you had to check the schedule.”

“Nah, just needed your number. I make the schedule, I know it like the back of my hand.”

Steve shook his head.

“Can’t start a relationship on lies.”

“Oh, a relationship? You move quick don’t you.”

Steve did. He knew he did. It’s why he’d never been able to keep anyone around. He moved like he was ready for marriage on the first date, and usually people didn’t like that.

He looked down at his lap, already prepared to lose Eddie’s interest.

But he felt a hand on his cheek, slowly guiding him to look up.

“Dinner here at 8?”

“Uh. Yeah. Please.”

Eddie smirked at him before he placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Just be yourself, Steve. I like you just fine. And I’ve already seen you at your worst and your crazy best friend. It’s all uphill from here.” Eddie pulled away and moved back to start cleaning dishes from his cooking. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll end up married by the end of the year.”

“Now you’re making fun of me.”

“Am I?”

Eddie looked over his shoulder, serious look on his face.

“Are you?”

“No. Stranger things have happened.”

[vaultdwellerbarbie]

Juno

javier 'javi' rivera/f!reader (5.2k wc)

summary it really didn't take yourself and javi very long to fall in love. or to decide to get married... or to decide that you wanted children. nothing wrong with doing things a little unconventionally.

content warnings smut, unsafe sex (w/ the intention to get pregnant), slight breeding kink i guess, vaginal fingering, oral sex

she has risen babygirl!!!!!! i'm like kinda half asleep as i'm posting this so i'm so sorry about that but i hope you enjoy this! yes, it's just as horny as the song. please listen to the song juno by sabrina carpenter.

At some point, a point that felt like an eternity ago at this point, going to Oklahoma was just supposed to be a small trip. Your friend Kate had let you know that she was going back to the place where she was raised on a whim, and you offered to go with her because you were working on a work project that would probably look a lot better if you actually knew what a tornado looked like in person, rather than just having researched them. 

Kate had been apprehensive about the whole thing. She was dealing with a lot of unresolved trauma, she didn’t want to drag you into something like that. Plus, she knew that it could be a lot seeing a tornado for the first time, and she also knew that you really weren’t well versed in how to survive one. Sure, you’d researched them and you were interested in them, but no amount of research could give you that real world experience that someone who had experienced one had. She didn’t want you to be in danger. You, however, argued that you needing that real world experience was exactly why your work project was going to fail if you didn’t go with her. 

Ultimately, your argument that you’d just find another way to experience one even if she wasn’t there was what made her decide that she would ask her friend Javi if it was okay. Now, you knew of Javi. You’d never met him, and you knew Kate wasn’t speaking to him because of what all of them had been through. Still, she’d shown you minimal pictures and videos of him, and you’d always found him attractive even though you kept that fact to yourself. 

When he agreed, you both took the week to go to Oklahoma, and it was supposed to be just that: One week.

Technically, it was. 

But, in another sense, it was the beginning of a lot more than one week once you realized that you were absolutely miserable back home. 

There were a lot of factors in your decision to move to Oklahoma, and it wasn’t as though you just left everything behind and did it on a whim.

The first factor was just how much easier it felt to exist there, without the constant hustle and bustle. You didn’t feel like you were in as much of a continuous competition when you were there, especially since you had made quick friends with the people who you were surrounded by. It was nice to not feel like there was always someone there, waiting to one-up you and take away the promotion or praise that you were looking for. But, you also found that you weren’t just looking for praise. You were having genuine fun, and that was something that you hadn’t really had in a long time. 

The second factor, and the most important one really, was Javi. As much as you wanted to discuss the non-male reasons why you wanted to change your entire life around - such as the fact that Kate didn’t want to go back to New York, and the fact that she was seemingly starting something new that you would love to be a part of - it was difficult for you when you found being around him so easy. 

He was more attractive in person than he was in pictures, and you were pretty sure that was because you could actually see his freckles which was nice. But he was also nice to you. When he teased you, it was just him referring to you being from the North, or him making some comment about how scared you were about the tornado, or him just kind of acting very familiar with you. Certainly, he was acting the way that he was because he wanted you to feel more comfortable with him, and you did feel comfortable with him. More comfortable with him than you probably should have.

There was no debating that you fell hard and fast, but you still had a commitment to go back home. So even though you got attached, even though you gave him the tightest hug of your life when you both survived that massive tornado, even though you almost kissed him at the airport, and even though you promised to call him when you landed safely - you still went back even though you didn’t want to.

By the end of the week, you’d FaceTimed him at least as much as you did Kate, and by the second week, you wanted nothing more than to see him in person again. Truly, nothing seemed to matter more to you than being able to see Javi again, even though you had absolutely no idea when you were going to be able to do that.

It would be about two months before you finally had it in you (and had it in your bank account) to take Kate’s offer and stay at her farmhouse (really, it was her mom’s offer, but Kate was more than willing) until you found a place to stay. And, even if you didn’t find a place to stay, Kate’s mom seemed certain that something was going to come up (as it would so happen, both of them seemed intent on discussing your friendship with Javi and how it really didn’t seem like much of a friendship at all since you were both clearly enamored with each other). 

The plan was simple, you surprised Javi when you got back. Kate and her mom picked you up, helped you settle, and the next day you exacted the plan. You claimed that you needed to send something to Javi in the mail, so you asked for his address. Happily, he provided the address. The next day, to add to the convoluted plan, you took an Uber to his address because you didn’t want him to recognize a familiar car. Of course, there were a few flaws. 

You didn’t know if he was home, you didn’t want to freak him out, and you had to be dropped off at the end of the street because you didn’t want to startle him. Startling him really wasn’t something that you should have been worried about, because he lived in an apartment building it would seem (a much nicer one than the one that you could afford back in New York, but that didn’t surprise you). But, you still didn’t know if he was home, and you still didn’t want to freak him out. So, you were as gentle as you could when you knocked on the door, and you had confirmation that he was home from the way that his - clearly tired - voice shouted that he was on the way. 

When you saw Javi, you really realized that you should have considered coming later in the day. Whether it was because he was in his pajamas, because he had adorable bedhead, or because the first words out of his mouth happened to be ‘I thought you were DoorDash’ - you definitely should have remembered that Javi wasn’t a morning person.

Regardless, the moment he actually figured out that you were standing in front of him he pulled you inside, and you pulled him into a hug, and you spent the rest of the day… well, making out, mainly. 

Five months later, you’re both spending most of your time doing research. Storm season had calmed down, so you had some time in between to assess what it was that you were all going to be doing when it started up again. Since Javi was no longer working with Storm Par, and yourself, him, and Kate had begun working hand-in-hand with The Wranglers, things were going to be a bit different. The three of you were going to be added to a pre-existing team, you were going to be on camera, and Kate was going to be running her experiments to figure out if what she had done that day in El Reno had actually worked, or if it was the combination of the fire and the distance and every little other thing that had made that event so unique. 

But when you’re not doing that, you’re mainly with Javi. You don’t live with him, you’re still living with Kate and her mom, but you’re with Javi more than you’re with anyone else. You spend most nights at his house, or he comes over for dinner with Kate and her mom, or you both go out somewhere. There are rare instances in which you’re not with Javi, and despite the constant stream of time that you spend together, you just can’t get enough of each other. It’s almost suffocating when you’re not with Javi, and he seems to feel the same way. 

At least, you were pretty sure he did judging by the amount of texts that he had sent to you while you were on the way to his apartment this afternoon. 

The moment your shoes were set into the shoe rack, he was locking the door and pressing his lips against yours. Your fingers found his hair, kissing him just as intently. You loved the feeling of his lips against yours, especially since it had been probably almost twenty-four entire hours since you had last kissed him. He tugged you closer by the hips, your hand that wasn’t in his hair moving to rest on his warm cheek. 

Pulling away, your eyes were locked on his, moving down to look at those freckles that always made your stomach feel like it was in knots. The thing was, you just thought they were cute at first, but then you started wondering if his genes would really shine through and give a baby matching freckles, and then all you could really think about what how you would absolutely forget everything about working and settle down in the countryside with him and some freckled children. But… why were you thinking about that? 

“I missed you.” You complained, a smile tugging at his lips as he pressed another chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. 

“I missed you too, I told you to spend the night.” He had told you to spend the night, but you simply didn’t have that option because yesterday was your laundry day and at least half of your laundry was at the place that you were actually, technically, living and not with Javi. Plus, you hated his dryer. 

“Get a new dryer, and I won’t have to burden myself with leaving you.” 

He hummed in response, moving away from you so he could move over to the couch - after all, he did invite you over to watch a movie. But, Javi took note of the way that you kept an arm securely around him, your head resting on his shoulder. You were always affectionate with each other, but tonight you just couldn’t shake the feeling that you wanted nothing other than Javi. 

“You okay, baby?” He didn’t seem to really mind, though. His hand moved down to capture yours, sitting down with you and instantly opening his stance so you could cuddle up to him before he put a blanket over you. 

“I’m good.” You replied, though the fact that you were halfway to sitting on him with your face resting just beside his was probably indication that you were not, in fact, good. 

“You know, you’re free to stay here as long as you like.”

“I know that.”

“And you also know that I never get tired of you, right?” He replied, tilting your chin up so you were looking him in the eyes.

“Pretty sure that’s why everyone gets so annoyed with us.” Everyone did get rather annoyed with you both once in a while since you could get a little bit overly affectionate, but you had been working on toning that down. “But I know that, and you know I never get tired of you, either.” 

Javi’s lips brushed against yours, his movements much more gentle than they had been earlier in the day. Something about the way that he kissed you, the way that he took his time to show you with his actions just how much he cared about you, made you feel like you were almost in a daze when he broke it. Javi didn’t go far, though, his forehead resting against yours as he looked at you. 

“You should move in with me,” He started, watching your eyes widen slightly and rubbing his thumb along your jawline. “You spend most of your time here, we both hate being apart. You should just be here.”

“I’ve gotta tell you, Kate and her mom have been holding bets about how long it’s going to take for me to move in with you since I mentioned wanting to come to Oklahoma.” You replied, a smile covering your lips as you looked into his eyes. There was a softness in them, a love that you were certain that you could never get from anyone else. But you didn’t want it from anyone else, you only wanted Javi. “I’d love to move in with you.” 

“Which one of them won?”

“I think Kate’s mom had under six months as her bet.” 

Javi’s smile widened before he kissed you again, and somehow, you tried to press closer to him even though you were certain that it wasn’t possible to get any closer to him than you already were. But there was still that feeling in your gut that you just… you weren’t sure. You wanted him closer, you wanted him to never not be close, and you weren’t sure how you had become to attached to another person but you were certain that it was an attachment that was reciprocated by the man who was pressing his hand on the small of your back to keep your body pressed firmly against his. 

“I love you so much, Javi.” You finally mumbled as you pulled away, his lips chasing yours for just a moment before he accepted the distance.

“I love you too, baby, so, so much.” 

Javi brought you back into a kiss, following your lead as you moved to lay against the couch. He moved his arms so he was caging you in underneath him, his lips not parting from yours for a second as he kept you close to him. Technically, you were supposed to be here to watch a movie with him. But, for some reason that didn’t seem to be something that either of you were really planning on doing right now. 

“Did you just come over to make out with me?” He teased, his hand pressed against your cheek as you looked up at him. A smile was still spread across his lips, and you were certain that your face matched his expression. 

“Maybe a little.” You replied, trailing a hand over his arm. You didn’t just come over to make out with him, you came over to spend time with him. You always wanted to spend time with him, though. “We could be doing more than making out, you know.”

“At least let me cook you dinner first.”

“Javi, that could take hours.” 

“So?” 

He gave in when you started pouting at him, his lips pressed against yours again as his hand slipped under your shirt for just a moment. The feeling of his hand against you caused you to arch against him, but he quickly pulled away from you and stood up. His outstretched hand told you that he was going to bring you to the bedroom, a place that you were more than happy to accompany him to. 

The thing was, you were both always very touchy with each other. The moment that you spent more than a few hours apart, you typically had to make up for it in some way. That way typically ended up being sex, if you were being honest, but it was still just some way for you to make up for the lost time. But, you’d both been a bit more reckless with sex as of recent. When you started sleeping with each other, which funnily enough somehow wasn’t even immediately, you were incredibly careful. There was always protection, even though you were taking a pill at the time. Recently, you’d both just kind of… forgotten… a lot of things. Javi was the one that drove you to the pharmacy to get your pills, but neither of you had really been reminding the other that you should probably been doing that. The last couple of times that you’d had sex, he had pulled out, but he certainly hadn’t used a condom. 

Truthfully, you were probably both pretty conscious about what you were doing. You were just not willing to actually speak about what you were doing which was for sure not the correct way to be handling things. But, how could you talk about it? Neither of you planned on quitting your dangerous careers, and even though you were more used to office work and you honestly would be fine with doing something less strenuous for a little while since you were certain that the team needed some more behind the scenes people since you currently, truthfully, didn’t really have many - you also new that Javi was going to be at risk. Ever since what happened to him and Kate, the idea of not being in the action has been an issue for him. Were either of you comfortable with having a child under that pressure? Especially since you’d only been together for like… five months? Maybe. You weren’t sure. But talking about it would be a good thing, probably. 

His hands against you distracted you from your disastrous train of thought, allowing him to pull the shirt that you were wearing up and over your head. 

It struck you, as you looked at him, that you really didn’t want anyone other than him. You’d been on numerous failed dates, gotten to know people who ended up being into you and even tried to see if that was something that you were interested in. You were never interested in anyone more than you were interested in him, and you had certainly never remained so invested in someone for as long as you did with him. 

“What’s that look on your face?” His tone was soft, his hand delicately running along your arm.

“I just really love you, I’ve never really felt this way about anyone else.” 

His eyes were just as soft as his tone was, watching you as he pressed a kiss to your lips. It wasn’t rushed and sloppy like the ones that you’d been having with him. He took his time, and happily accepted you wrapping an arm around his neck to pull him closer. 

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, either.” His admission was incredibly quiet, but you’d heard it since his forehead was pressed against yours. Some part of you wanted to have a deeper conversation about that, and you were certain that you would as soon as you left this room, but for the time being, you really just wanted to have him as close as possible. You had all the time in the world for talking, but right now you just kind of wanted to show him just how much you loved him. 

Your fingers played with the hem of his shirt, and Javi got the message and removed it. You’d always loved running your fingers along his skin, feeling him below your finger tips. One of the things that struck you about Javi was that he looked so cute, but he really did keep up his physique. You sure that had something to do with the line of work, considering the fact that he needed to be pretty in shape to be constantly outrunning tornadoes and since he had been in the military before that. 

Javi didn’t waste much time in getting you on the bed, though you did stop him so you could quickly remove your pants - it was always easier than taking them off while you were in bed with him. He didn’t object to that, and decided that he would take things a step further and remove the bra that you were wearing as well. Before you could reach for his pants, he had his lips against your neck and you at the head on the bed. 

Typically, Javi took a lot more time than he was taking right now, but he wasted very little time in removing he panties that were on your hips. His lips trailed down your body, your eyes locked on him as he moved to part your legs. There was a nagging feeling in the back of your head that you just wanted him inside of you, that you didn’t want him to spend any more time not being inside of you, but that nagging feeling was pretty effectively silenced by the feeling of his tongue against your clit. 

Javi always seemed to enjoy the feeling of your hands in his hair, and he always really did take his time - he liked to tease you, to warm you up before doing anything with you, mainly he just liked to make you needy; he really seemed to enjoy it when you begged for him. But right now, it was something entirely different. Maybe it was because you had agreed to move in with him, or maybe it was because you both knew that you were going to have a long conversation about things later, but all you knew was that he was being a lot quicker than he typically would be in a situation like this. 

That’s not to say that you were complaining, because you were thoroughly enjoying the way that he had two fingers pressed inside of you, his lips wrapped around your clit and his eyes periodically glancing up at you just to make sure that you were definitely enjoying yourself. He was a giving lover, you knew that from the moment that you started doing this with him. But, right now it just seemed like his sole motivation in life was making sure that you felt pleasure. Mainly, though, you were pretty sure it was showing you how much he cared about you. 

His fingers curled a bit inside of you, pressing against spot that made eyes fingers tighten in his soft hair. He knew how to bring you to the brink just as quickly as he brought you into his room. But right now, all you could really think about was how good he was making you feel, how good he always made you feel. How it felt when he made a slight noise against you, the reverberations sending shockwaves through - a reminder of who it was, and a reminder of just what kind of noises that you were going to hear coming out of him in just a few moments.

Ultimately, it didn’t take you very for your cunt to squeeze his fingers, for your orgasm to wash over you like it always did when you were with Javi. You always felt on top of the world, partly because you were convinced that he was the most beautiful man who you had ever seen. But, also because he really did have a way of playing your body like he was a genuine professional at pleasing you specifically. 

As you came down from your high, Javi slowly crawled up the bed to you. At some point, a point in which you must have not been paying very much attention, Javi had removed the rest of the clothing that kept you from seeing him fully. He let your hands trace his warm skin, his face level with yours and his curly hair hanging slightly in front of his face. His was a sight to behold, and sometimes you weren’t so sure how you got so lucky to be with him in the first place. You really couldn’t get enough of Javi, and you were certain that he knew that. 

“Do you want me to use a condom?” His voice was gentle, he did try to ask for your permission each time he chose not to. Typically, the only times you didn’t talk about it were when you were both desperate and in a time-crunch.

“I want you to cum inside of me.” You replied, not really thinking about what you were saying until it had come out of your mouth.

Javi’s eyes widened slightly, but a smile covered his lips as he looked down at you. “Oh, I can do that.” 

Javi pushed into you rather quickly, moving his head down so he could bring you into a bruising kiss. Your body arched into his, the warmth of his chest pressed against yours made you sigh. You loved having this close, you wanted to have him this close forever. You loved the way that he felt inside of you, the way that he fucked into you like he’d never have the opportunity to do so again, even though you were both well-aware that you were going to do this over and over again for as long as you possibly could. It wasn’t like you had a shortage of sex in your relationship, but it also certainly wasn’t the only thing that you had in your relationship.

Javi followed your lead as you softened the kiss, our fingers tangling in the back of his hair to keep him close. You couldn’t help but think about how much you loved him, how much more you loved him than you’d ever loved anyone else. It was honestly slightly concerning just how much you loved him, because you weren’t sure if it was even possible before him. But you knew that he felt the same way, and a large part of you knew that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. 

“Javi?”

“Mhm?” 

“You should keep doing it inside of me.” 

His breath stuttered for a second, but his hips didn’t. You could feel his hand squeezing your hip, the way that he seemingly started pounding into you harder than he was before. There was a slight overwhelming quality to it, but it was overwhelming in the best way possible. He felt so good, and he always hit that spot inside of you over and over again as though your bodies were made to be together. 

“I-If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you want something from me.”

“Yeah, your cum.”

“Mhm. Something more, though. Something… around here?” He trailed a hand to your stomach, the feeling of your cunt squeezing around him making him let out a particularly vulgar moan following by a grin on his lips. “You want me to knock you up, hm? Is that what you want?” 

“Please-” Your request came out as more of a whine, your eyes locked on his for just a moment but trailing down his face. A baby with his freckles was all you could really think about, a life with him. Some part of it was about possessiveness, you wanted him to mark his territory, and you wanted to mark yours. To be with him, and he clearly wanted the same thing from how his forehead fell against yours as he brought his hand down from your stomach to trace circles around your clit. 

“Fuck, I’ll give you anything you want.” He always got a bit more vulgar with his language as he got closer, but he was always honest - Javi hadn’t done anything dishonest in the entire time that you’d known him once he stopped working with Storm Par. “Gonna put a ring on that fucking finger, you know that?”

That was what sent you over the edge, your brain turning into mush as you reached your peak. Javi wasn’t close behind, his hips stuttering as the feeling of his orgasm filling you made you let out a series of unintelligible words. You’d never felt fuller, but you’d also never felt better. The idea of being with him forever was definitely more than an idea, at this point, it just felt like a promise. But you wanted that with him, you wanted it with him more than anything you’d ever wanted before. 

When you had both come down from your high’s, Javi took the time to push his come back inside of you with his fingers, a whine leaving your throat upon feeling the slight overstimulation. 

It didn’t take you both very long to clean up and get back into the couch, the couch where you had started to begin with. But now, he just had you wrapped up with him in a blanket. The sound from the television was definitely hitting your ears, but it was going in one and out the other. All you could really think about was Javi, about what had just transpired - mainly, about how you didn’t regret any of it.

“Do you really want to get pregnant?” 

“Do you really want to put a ring on my finger?”

“That wasn’t how I meant to ask you.” He replied, his voice soft. He almost seemed embarrassed that it had come out that way. “If it’s alright with you, I want to wait to ask you for a little bit, just because I had a plan that… you deserve. You deserve a real engagement story. To, you know, tell our kids. Can’t really tell them that I proposed during sex.”

Just the idea of sitting around telling that kind of story with children, your children, made your heart feel a bit warm. “You know, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted that kind of life before I met you.” Your head was tilted up to fact him, the movie forgotten. “But I do, even if I have to take a break from the field.”

“And won’t you be worried about me?” These were all things that you needed to talk about, things that you probably should have talked about before you just decided to go ahead an do it. 

“I’m going to be worried about you anyway, Javi.” You replied, moving up so your head was resting in between his shoulder and his jaw. He simply held you tightly, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. “But, yes, I was serious. I think a kid with your freckles would be just about the cutest thing.” 

You could tell that made him a little sheepish from the way that his skin heated up, and it definitely worsened it when you moved to press a kiss to his cheek. But, he was only sheepish from the compliment, not from the nature of what you were saying to him. 

“I don’t know about that, but I do know that I’d love to see a mini-you running around.” He replied, resting his chin on your head as he turned back to watch the movie.

There were some logistical things to work out. Things regarding work, things regarding maybe getting married before having a baby just so it didn’t look like you were having a shotgun wedding. You knew that you were going to have to probably move into a house together at some point, rather than an apartment with only one bedroom. Those issues were going to become more pressing as time carried on, but for the time being, you both knew that what you wanted was either other - that all you truly wanted was each other and a life together. That was all you truly wanted - or needed - to worry about for the time being.

[hazelsmirrorball]

Rockstar Girlfriend III. | Hazel Callahan 

Rockstar! Hazel Callahan x Popstar! Reader Summary: Hazel Callahan and Y/n L/n have to be in a pr relationship, but both of them can stand each other but recently things are starting to look up.  Warnings: Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Enemies to lovers! Fluff, slight loser! Hazel. Not proof read. Sorry for any mistake, English isn't my main language. a/n: I should be doing an essay for class here we are. Hope you enjoy and thank you so much for all the love. There could possibly be another part.  ps. the song is "Lavender Haze" by Taylor Swift

part one. part two. part four. part five.

“Surreal, I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say. No deal, the 1950s shit they want from me”

The two lines stared back at her as she anxiously tapped her pen against the couch hoping that some words would magically show up. She was desperate, very desperate. The deadline was near and she had made zero to no progress only having the first two lines of the song. She needed to finish the last song on the album, her manager had emphasized how important this album was for their career as a band. They needed to hop on the wave of success “dating” Hazel Callahan brought. 

She hated it, the only reason people were actually listening to her band wasn’t because they were talented but because she was attached to Hazel’s name. Not only did Hazel have several awards, a reputation of a god and a talented band but now Y/n’s band success was thanks to her.  She wanted to prove to the people that she was as talented as Hazel Callahan and her band. That’s why she offered herself to write that song on the album and that’s how she found herself at one am in the morning in the recording studio attempting to get out of the writer's block she had been stuck in for days. 

“No deal, the 1950’s shit they want for me. I just..” Y/n hummed the melody as taped the pen on the cushion attempting to get a beat. She was determined to get this song out. She needed to prove to her manager, to herself, to her band and to Hazel that she was talented.  “For fucks sake” Y/n muttered out as she took a sip of energy drink crumbling the paper up and throwing it in a pile of paper on the floor. She threw her head back on the couch stretching her legs under the coffee table. She closed her eyes, controlling her breath. Someone had cleared their throat from the other side of the room startling her. Y/n had lifted her head staring at the person in front of her. 

Hazel Callahan stood before Y/n, the only thing separating them was the table in the middle of the studio. Hazel’s body was adorned in a familiar sweater which instantly caused Y/n to smile at her.  Hazel held onto her guitar case while her tote bag rested on her shoulder. She sent a warm smile towards Y/n’s way, not her usual smirk, which actually scared her. For Y/n, this felt like she was crossing unknown territory. Why was Hazel at the studio late at night? It didn’t make any sense. 

“Hey, I hope I’m not bothering your creative process. I just.. You know. I was here in the morning and left by lunch. Didn’t see you move from your spot so I thought you might be hungry.  I brought some food so we could eat.  I always get good inspiration with a full stomach so I decided to bring your usual, I think… I’ve seen you order it a bunch of times before so I really hope it’s your usual and that I didn’t get it wrong” Hazel rambled quickly, taking out a brown bag from her tote bag and placing it on top of the table in front of them. She slowly rested her guitar case against the leather couch and quickly sat in front of the table also taking out her food out of her tote bag. 

“You know. It’s kind of scary that you’re being this nice to me.” Y/n said softly as she  inspected the bag slowly, surprised that Hazel had gotten her usual order perfectly.  Hazel took a bite of the fries shrugging her off. 

“I know it’s hard to believe but I am a nice person, Y/n. I just like messing with you, you make this cute little face when you're angry” She replied, taking a bite of her burger as Y/n followed her actions. Y/n could feel her face flushing at Hazel’s compliment. Her voice saying her name sounded like a melody she couldn’t get out of her head. What was happening?

“Thank You, Hazel. I really appreciate you bringing the food and everything but I need to finish this song. Management wants it for tomo.. Well actually today and I’m not even halfway done. ” Y/n said, placing her food down and reaching to grab her pen. As she grabbed it Hazel rested her hands on top of hers. Y/n looked up, locking eyes with Hazel as she felt herself loose the grip on the pen. Hazel cleared her throat, tapping her hand awkwardly, moving it away quickly. She looked to the side awkwardly, not wanting to face Y/n. 

“You are stressed and it’s pretty clear that you need a break. So forget about the song and talk to me. I know you’ll get the inspiration soon enough, Y/n. You are a talented girl.” Hazel said, rubbing the back of her neck turning to look at her quickly. 

“You, Hazel Callan, an award winning rock star, think I’m talented?” Y/n gasped dramatically placing a hand towards her chest in a joking manner not believing Hazel’s words. Hazel rolled her eyes, continuing eating her food. 

“I actually believe you guys are underrated. I consider myself a very big B/n fan. Your last album and quite honestly I believe it deserved several awards. More people need to hear you guys. I know that if they take the time they’ll see how talented you are and you’ll be on top of the world”  Hazel responded, scrunching up the wrapper and throwing it inside the paper bag. 

“I didn’t know you were such a fan. Would’ve sent you a signed sweater instead of the one you have.” Y/n said while continuing to eat her food. Hazel’s smiled started to form slowly while looking down at her Y/n’s merch. 

“I had to fight someone for this sweater, Ln. Now you should understand how big of a fan I am. So if you give me a signed one, I’ll love you forever” She said jokingly while leaning towards the pile of papers picking one up reading Y/n’s messy writing on a scrunched up piece.  

“Please don’t laugh at it. I tried my best.” Y/n muttered while placing her head on the table hiding her face from Hazel. 

“No, Y/n. You’re off to a good start. Let me help you out. Maybe we can come up with something together. You wrote here, I feel the blank, creeping up on me, what did you really want to write? Come on don’t be shy” She asked, while her eyes reread the lyrics. Her hand reached towards her guitar case, took her acoustic guitar out and placed it on her lap. As she strummed the guitar tuning it, Y/n felt herself smile. She wanted to write a love song and as much as she wanted to push Hazel away, the only thing she could think about was Hazel and her lavender sweater. 

“Lavender Haze” She muttered softly onto the table. Hazel straightens up trying to see her facial expressions. Y/n slowly raised her face up looking at Hazel.  

“Speak up, pretty girl,” Hazel said, sending her way an encouraging smile. Y/n felt herself blushed, feeling completely flustered by Hazel’s actions. 

“Lavender Haze. I feel a Lavender Haze creeping up on me. ” Y/n replied confidently, while  she watched Hazel nodded writing down on the paper. 

“Well, Y/n. Let’s make Lavender haze a real hit, baby” Hazel replied, passing her the pen with a confident smile. That’s how two girls that supposedly hated each other wrote a song at midnight about the Lavender Haze. 

...

Thank You so much for reading.

[next part]

previous chapter

[lilacstro]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ this time I want you..˚ʚ♡ɞ˚.... pac: where is this crush heading ♡

lol not me posting pacs on the songs that play on my spotify on shuffle. Nvm. Let's go>>>

We will be doing an energy check to confirm this is your pile :)

decks used: spirit speak, vessel oracle// cupid says and poesis oracle for energy check

paid readings are open xoxo, leave suggestions or feedback :)

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

support me on ko-fi :)

Pile 1

Energy check

I feel you guys are actually confused, maybe asking someone else (like friends or family about advice probably), it is even possible that you guys might be thinking some worst case scnearios. Some of you might be feeling impulsive to just confess your feelings. It feels you are excessively overthinking and are unable to make any decision. There is confusion and restlessness . If this sounds like you currently, then congrats, this is your group.

where is this crush heading?

Interesting. The information here matches the energy check. You are definitely anxious, be it because of what the future might be or maybe because of a past event. First of all pile 1, relax. What is yours aint going nowhere. There is desire to rush and take things fast, but leave fast, you are not even starting anywhere lmao. I feel you are holding all these feelings tightly inside of yourself I do not know why. There is indeed a offer for love you want to make, of course there is a page of cups here. The next crescent moon might be important.

I also feel either of you are looking them up on social media or paying a lot of attention to the other.

Now, if you guys trust in yourselves, the situation and confess your feelings, something might happen here, the chances seem good. Why you may ask? The Knight of cups, is over the Lovers on the back of the deck. What else of a confirmation do we need that you SHOULD confess your feelings. I cannot tell if your feelings would be reciprocated back immediately or at all since this a general reading, but despite of anyone choosing you or not, at least you will choose yourself and become one with yourself, and make some peace with the fact that the piece you gave away, has now returned to you, I hope I am making sense :)

Pile 2

Energy check

Hmmm the situation here is very specific, it feels either you have confessed to the person and they did not reciprocate. There is a chance you either have already either felt some kind of rejection to this person or have rejected yourself before even starting. There is some hurt and wounds, and it is possible it may be because people told you something? someone said something? This situation actually is under your control regardless. If someone has made you feel some way, pull your feelings back and see your worth and move away. If someone said something, be brave and confront the person and whoever that concerns. You can change this situation regardless. And, the outcome of this situation would be something totally unexpected, magical, in a good way :)

If this sounds like you currently, then congrats, this is your group.

Where is this crush heading?

This again matches what I have written before. You are trying to hold your love offer and feelings back, but there is a difference in this and Pile 1. Pile 1 held back out of fears around themselves, you are holding back because of others. You might feel you are in somebody's competition. The song gold rush by Taylor Swift can be significant to your situation. "everybody wants you, but I don't want a gold rush"

You are so hopeful that your love be reciprocated is one thing I feel. But your mind is telling yourself to hold back, and maybe even your intuition, which I instead feel is anxiety. I wanted to see what would be the outcome for your situation so I pulled a few extra cards, and I see blurting all your emotions out. I know y'all be like WTF ARE YOU SAYING EVERYWHERE LILAC. DID WE NOT KNOW SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS THIS HUH? well, maybe you did not? i mean, I will just say whatever I see and feel even if it is same all throughout lol. Speak your emotions and I feel there is a chance you would feel very bad and anxious at once but it would eventually get better. and if you cannot do that, i would say maybe walk away and love someone who probably does not make you so anxious and miserable maybe? Because the out come to either of these things you do, would lead to some love offer coming in for you, a happy ending either from this person or someone else, but you would be their dream come true. If you speak your emotions and even are turned down, atleast you released negativity and can move on freely now and let someone new come in :). Regardless, I STRONGLY see romance and abundance coming in for you, but after some kind of communication. This is even further double clarified by oracle cards

I wish you so much love and light <33

Pile 3

Energy check

this feels like a peaceful energy tbh. there are not too many firecrackers at the moment, maybe you are just feeling the beauty of the feelings and just choosing to keep them inside purposefully? it feels like either you are mature or this is a new a crush. You are choosing the easier way out for now, which probably is just enjoying harboring these feelings in silence. But I would say, if you feel you have grown out of this little home and phase, do not suffocate yourself and grow out of it, and take the next step, whatever that feels to you. Do not force yourself to reject the intensity of your feelings to play it cool. If you do not wanna reveal your feelings, it is fine. But, if not being honest with the other person, be honest with yourself. Feel those feelings inside you and accept these feelings inside yourself, this will help in the real grounding of your emotions. Do not feel alone inside by suppressing things too much :)

If this sounds like you currently, then congrats, this is your group.

Where is this crush heading?

Well, I do not think there would be any much progress or change to this situation yet, primarily because you do not want to do anything much about it just yet ig. I do not know, but I have a feeling some of you guys are probably depressed, maybe something else happened, so basically there is this feeling of "who cares life is already taking a troll on me, yeah I like this person and whatever but I don't have the time and resources to entertain this just yet" The feelings here just feel at the start, there is a lot of development to go through with your relationship to this person and your feelings towards them, this is not at a ripe stage just yet. I would suggest showing some compassion to yourself. You have multiple choices, multiple things to do I feel, and amidst this, I hope you drink enough water and take a good rest and take care of yourself. Spend time with people who you love, celebrate little things, irdk why am i getting numb feelings inside this pile.

lyrics from emi beehold's song numb little bug came up: "sometimes do you get little bit tired of life, like you not really happy but you don't wanna die, you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive, you gotta survive :/"

sending you love and hugs :)

[libraryofgage]

@holyangelstudentuniverse requested the following: Steve working at Bath & Body Works while Eddie is the mall pianist?

I love it omfg, your brain is fantastic I hope I did the idea justice

(if you see any typos no you didn't <3)

The old food court pianist was...okay. Technically, she was good; she knew how to play and rarely made mistakes. She was also clearly just there for the bi-weekly check (not that Steve can blame her), and her playing reflected that. The piano became the ideal white noise, loud enough to lessen the awkwardness of any silence but not so amazing that people couldn't ignore it in favor of conversing with each other.

The new food court pianist? He's a fucking enigma.

He's very clearly skilled, and he seems to actually enjoy the job. He plays like Billy Joel and Elton John met one night, had a piano contest, and then had a baby to create the perfect pianist. He's great and energetic and can play anything from Mozart to fucking Cardi B, and Steve wishes he'd quit already so he can actually focus on his own shitty mall job instead of getting absorbed in the guy's playing.

"You should just hook up with him," Robin says one day, hip-checking Steve as she passes by with a box of Cherry Blossom products. She restocks the soap bottles first, then the perfume, then the lotions, and finally the tiny hand sanitizers with their shitty little plastic flip-caps that Steve swears break for the fucking fun of it.

Steve, meanwhile, is replacing last week's sales signs with new ones. They're the exact same. They rarely change, actually. The only difference is the "expiration" date at the bottom, which changes if only to continually sell customers that sense of urgency that results in them buying $50 worth of products they'll forget about until the holidays come around and they need white elephant gifts.

He's almost done, too. All that's left are the signs by the metal gate pulled down over the store's entrance. They'll open it in about an hour to prepare for the mall's opening, but for now, it's staying down to discourage the mini-bodega clerk in the middle of the hall from flirting with Robin and trying to sell her shitty perfume like she can't just steal shitty perfume from Bed Bath and Beyond at the end of the day.

He waits until after he's switched the sign to turn around, arms crossed over his chest. His back is to the gate, and Steve would normally be too fucking paranoid about a blind spot to withstand it, but he's in argument mode.

"I barely know the guy," he says.

Robin snorts as she crouches, stocking extra hand sanitizers in the tiny drawers at the bottom of the shelf. "Yeah, but I know you, dingus," she says, her voice light and bouncing. "You hear the guy's muzak version of a Lil Nas X song and you're ready to marry the guy."

"I can just recognize artistic ability! Have you ever tried to make a pop song sound like a classic?" he asks.

"My point," Robin says, pushing some hair out of her face, "is that you should ask him out. Maybe you two can play piano together."

If she hadn't already heard it before, Steve would be immediately launching into an explanation of why that wouldn't work. Steve has never met someone he liked or trusted enough to actually play with them. Sure, he's tried playing with a partner before if only to say he gave it a shot, but it sucks. Especially when you don't like the person. You're squished together on an uncomfortable bench, sharing sheet music, elbows bumping as you both try to reach the proper keys to keep the song from sounding horrendous. It's Steve's personal version of hell on earth.

But Robin has heard that rant before, so Steve graciously spares her from hearing it again. For now. Until he's drunk, probably.

"What, I'm just gonna waltz up to the piano and ask if he's free on Saturday? Or, I don't know, try some dumb pick-up line like asking if he comes here often?"

"I'll be honest, it's not the worst pick-up line I've heard."

Steve and Robin jump, both whipping their head to look at the grate to see the food court pianist grinning at them (well, more specifically, he's grinning at Steve) from the other side. He's wearing a button-down black shirt with ripped skinny jeans, old Converse, and more accessories than Steve can count. There are chains on his jeans and a guitar pick hanging from his neck and an ear cuff and a stud through the edge of his eyebrow and so many chunky rings that Steve could use as an excuse to stare at his hands for an hour.

Robin is the one who breaks out of the shock first. She jumps to her feet and walks over to Steve, resting her arm on his shoulder and leaning against him. "But would it work?" she asks.

The guy grins wider, obviously looking Steve up and down to check him out before looking at Robin. "From Stevie here? Yeah. He's really rocking the apron," Eddie replies, winking at Steve.

Steve is about to ask how the guy knows his name, but then he remembers the name badge on his apron. He clears his throat, tearing his eyes away to glance down at Robin.

She seems to be having the time of her life right now.

"Well, uh, I'd prefer to know your name before trying any pickup lines," he says.

"Eddie Munson at your service," Eddie says, bowing to Steve with a dramatic flourish that he finds more endearing than anything else.

One look at Robin and her scrunched nose tells him she thinks it's a little over-the-top and, dare he say, cringe. Her opinion doesn't actually matter, though, since she'd be down bad for any girl that curtseyed at her.

Steve looks back at Eddie, noting the now expectant gleam in his eyes. He can't help an amused smile as he says, "Well then, Eddie," Steve says, stressing his name a little just for the fun of it, "come here often?"

Robin groans next to him. "Fucking hell, Steve," she mutters, slapping him upside the head. "I know you suck at flirting but you really couldn't come up with something better?"

"No, no," Eddie tells her, waving his hand dismissively. "I'm into it."

"And I'm out of it," Robin says, raising her hands in surrender before scurrying back to her Cherry Blossom products.

She's definitely still listening, though.

Steve rolls his eyes are her reaction and focuses back on Eddie. "So, uh, are you free on Saturday?" he asks.

"Completely free," Eddie says, taking a step closer to the gate and shoving his hands into his pockets. "How about lunch?"

"Yeah, I know a great pizza place."

"It's a date then," Eddie replies, winking at Steve. "By the way, any song requests?"

Steve blinks and thinks for a minute before asking, "Do you know Vienna?"

Eddie's grin tells Steve that he does, in fact, know Vienna. "Vienna it is." With that, he winks at Steve once more before heading back to the food court.

"That was painful," Robin says once he's far away enough.

Steve rolls his eyes and flips her off. "You're just jealous I've got a date and you're still too chicken shit to approach the Nike girl."

Robin practically squawks at him. "Oh, fuck you," she says.

"I'll leave that to Eddie, thanks," Steve says, laughing when Robin gags.