#i hope my understanding is not flawed because i am living this hc now

[draconisvesperi]

Of Irminsul and the Wanderer

Spoilers for 3.2 Archon Quest and 3.3 Archon Quest Interlude.

If my understanding of Irminsul is correct, should not the Wanderer be able to wield Electro powers - or whatever powers he could wield as Scaramouche post-Dottore-unlocking-the-Seal?

Hear me out.

Irminsul, so far as I've understood, has no power to change events that have already occurred. This is why despite Scaramouche's attempt to do so, he could not erase himself from existence, nor could he bring back those people who had lost their lives. Likewise, Rukkhadevata could not erase herself from existence.

All changing Irminsul can influence is the memory of whatever you wish to change, not the events. The recorded remembrance can be modified or erased entirely. History can be rewritten, but not modified.

So when Scaramouche went into Irminsul to erase himself (which is essentially suicide, and is a really twisted moment, by the way) all he succeeds in doing is erasing the memory of himself.

What he did does not change.

Therefore, what happened to him does not change either. All his life experiences still happen, he still lived his entire life the same way, only he - and everyone he met or came across - no longer remembers it.

He still joined the Fatui. He still went to the Abyss time and time again and was repaired and made stronger. Dottore still unlocked the seals on his divine power.

Now, if Wanderer had remained as Wanderer, it would be understandable that nothing much would come of that, as he does not know anything of this power (presumably? or in any case, he would most likely not have tried to access it?). But in the state he is in now, with all of Scaramouche/The Balladeer's memories returned to him, he knows. He knows how to wield that power and how to access it.

So technically he should be able to duel-wield Electro and Anemo.

Obviously he wouldn't do that, as he has an Anemo vision so wielding Electro is questionable - it would likely mean Delusion but he doesn't even have a Delusion so it would most likely just raise uncomfortable questions - but that is a lot of possibilities for the headcanons, is it not?

And the fanworks. Electro-Scara merged with Anemo-Wanderer.

On another note, I find the fact that the Raiden Shogun not having voice-lines for the Wanderer anymore rather messed up. Now that his reputation as Kunikuzushi/Scaramouche/Balladeer is forgotten, it's like.. she forgot she even created him. Even the Wanderer before memories returning to him knows he is her creation - the memory of this has obviously not been altered. To me, it's like he meant so little to Ei that if it weren't for his notoriety (that she forgot about) he doesn't even exist to her.

[mikaze-discord]

Love letter project ♡

Sooo to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Shining live, I put together a project! I basically got a bunch of people to write a love letter for their favourite boy. Things like, why they like them, how they got to like them and what they like about them were all accepted!

The event was supposed to have 2 fans for each boy but unfortunately I was unable to get two for some of the boys. 

Under the cut will be the love letters for all of Class A!!! Please enjoy~ And thank you for all the people who participated in the event and taking the time to write the love letters out. 

CLASS A

OTOYA ITTOKI

From @ponzu-penzui:

Hello world! My nickname is Yuki, and I’m here to tell you about the sunshine boy that is Otoya Ittoki. The redhead of the series, Otoya is your seemingly a-typical sunshine in a mascot boy character. But, as we all know with these types, the sunshine isn’t as, well, sunshine as they seem. Or, if you didn’t know, well… spoiler alert I guess. Go watch the anime, or play the otome games, then come back here. Anyways, let’s get started on our journey, shall we? Through the rabbithole that got me here in the first place!

Otoya immediately became my best boy the second I saw him. I’m not quite sure what immediately got me at first, whether it be his red hair and eyes, his voice, or his immediate friendliness, but here we are. I should also mention that UtaPri was my first idol anime, so I was completely unaware what was going to hit me later. And, if you’ve watched the entire anime, you know where I’m going.

Season 4 was an emotional wreck. I cried at least twice. Did I have a newfound appreciation for Otoya after all that heartache? Definitely. Without spoilers, it was incredibly painful for me to watch, but I don’t regret it.

After watching the anime, I soon found out about the existence of Shining Live. So, with no other UtaPri content to binge, I started to play SL in late 2018. After playing for a little more than a year, I tiered in my first Otoya event (Heartwarming Snow Festival), and achieved my first top 200. Ever since then, I’ve tiered in every Otoya event, getting top 200, then top 100.

But, why do I like Otoya Ittoki even to this day? Well, I guess this is the time where I say that, after a certain point, I started to see bits of myself in Otoya. This led me to start to RP him, and, as you probably know if you’ve ever roleplayed a character before, I started to look at the miniscule amount of translated game content (many thanks to the Ohayaho Translation Team) for, well, more content. And content I did receive. Long story short, this only served to solidify Otoya as my favorite boy of not only UtaPri, but from all anime/manga/game content I’ve ever seen/watched. His cheerfulness may have been the first thing that got me in this rabbithole, but his backstory and how he managed to grow up pulled me in even further. And, I don’t think I will or want to get out anytime soon.

Next one from; Anon

As much as we all know our Otoya for how sweet and kind he is, there is so much more to him than just a precious smile. He is uplifting, cheerful towards everyone he meets. He has empathy and goes out of his way to make sure his friends are happy. Even so, Otoya has feelings that aren’t always happiness and smiles. He can feel sad and angry just like anyone else.

The reason I care and love Otoya so much is because he has shown me that I don’t have to always put on a smile. It’s nice to show off your pearly whites, but sometimes, it’s okay to be sad too. There are times in everyone’s life when they feel out of place and that they don’t belong. Otoya also felt this way and that’s perfectly okay. He’s still being the best idol he can be: The idol that Otoya loves the most.

MASATO HIJIRIKAWA

From Anon: 

Masato Hijirikawa. Why do I like Masato Hijirikawa? I like him to the point that it feels weird for me to even question why I do. He's just- a good boy. A great boy. I love him. As a joke, I'd usually say that it was his weirdly pretty, bowl-cut hairstyle that drew me to him, or I'd say that he caught my interest when I read that he was "very good with his hands" (wink wonk) in his Shining Live description, and while both of these reasons are still true, it wasn't until I started role playing him in an old server that I really started to appreciate his character more.

Masato, despite his aloof and almost "perfect" initial image, is a very relatable character. When he first arrived at Saotome (in-game) he wasn't necessarily seen as someone with a lot of talent to become an idol, which he acknowledged with grace and worked hard to make up for. He's humble despite his privileged upbringing and is incredibly self-aware of his flaws, which are sources of insecurity for him sometimes (a lot of times). Though it should be said that most of this insecurity stems from not having a lot of control over his early life, which is why it felt so gratifying to see him break free of his metaphorical chains to pursue his happiness without any doubts. He's a hard worker and is willing to accept criticism with open arms, not only for himself but for the people around him. Despite his traditional upbringing and nature, he's very receptive to change as long as it benefits both him and STARISH. He values the people he cares about more than anything, which is why he constantly strives to be a better version of himself every day, not only for himself but for the people around him.

Though his stoicism sometimes makes him seem plain or even "boring" to some people, he hides a warm, hidden passion within that's just as bright as everyone else's. Like the springtime bloom of cherry blossoms after winter, Masato shows his passion and love with no restraint to anyone who takes the time to understand him, and I can very much attest to this. I love him a lot and I hope to see more content of him, STARISH, and the others for more years to come.

NATSUKI SHINOMIYA

From uh....me:

HELLO I’m Z~ also known as the mod of the mikaze-discord/utapri-hcs tumblrs, as well as the organiser for the event! But enough about myself, let's talk about Natsuki Shinomiya.

When I first watched the anime as a youngin, I had already known about the games and their plots but had decided to try out the anime as well since I had nothing better to do.

Natsuki was actually one of my least favourite characters in the anime just because of how they presented him. I just...didn't care for him at all. He was just some random tall guy who loved hugs and almost murder…. Yeah.

I’m sure like most, I had a changing point. Originally, I was a Tokiya rper but...I was just unhappy with how my Tokiya was, I wasn't as experienced in rping with that server being my first rp server i was ever in. I didn't feel like I matched up with the others. I felt my Tokiya was just lacking something, substance maybe. Another person actually had a similar feeling and had changed their character from Camus to Syo and since we already had an Ai, I had just decided to go with the flow and complete the rest of the cute team. Best decision of my life. I’m so grateful for Natsuki and everything I associate him with. Without him, I probably wouldn't have made my tumblrs, I wouldn't have stayed in that server, I wouldn't have gone looking for other servers to rp in. I don't think I would be the same without Natsuki. I just find him so endearing now, he is just a lovable giant who happens to be able to be a disney princess. He is just so darn cute damn it. , just look at his Christmas card, his King card, quite literally just half his Shining live URs. Also, just like his songs just slap. Natsuki to me, is just serotonin. He gave me so many opportunities that I could have missed. I don't even think I would have started this love letter project without him if I’m being completely honest. I genuinely enjoyed all the memories I made as Natsuki. Thank you to Natsuki and to the Mikaze-discord for basically starting me off.

From Luke:

Natsuki was actually the very first character I encountered before I got into utapri. A friend showed a photo of him and told me that I'd probably be into this guy. She sure was right! After installing shining live for the first time and having a familiar face on the screen, I grew curious of him each day and just had to find out why was so attracted to him. The fact that I've seen him so many times in the past was haunting me, telling me that this man actually watched me grow up from a distance without even knowing his name. It sounds weird but I find it rather comforting for someone who doesn't want to be protected but isn't strong enough to defend myself alone.

The thought of having him there was enough to get me through the day and gave me enough reason to wake up to the next. I admit I may have adapted some of his habits after looking after his account for a year but that isn't a bad thing if it means that it would turn me into a much better person than I am now. I guess you could say we've grown together now in a sense, preserving the feelings and just living through the moment no matter how happy or sad it is. What's important is that we're not alone in all things we do and in everything we feel, there will always be someone there to keep us moving when we feel like giving up.

[mariaiscrafting]

What if I’m Latino and want to draw sapnap as Latino as well? Is neurodivegent headcanons for the dream team okay but this isn’t?

I’ll admit, the lines are blurred with Dream SMP characters because they are both characters and representative of real people. If you want, I can talk about the various levels of Problematic™ that are involved in this question, and since I’m bored and procrastinating, let’s get into it:

First off, there is, actually a history of Tumblr fanartists in particular drawing traditionally white characters as POC and getting backlash for it, so honestly, I’m not totally agains the practice. Frankly, drawing classic characters as POC when they haven’t really been confirmed as any race - just assumed to be the default of white - isn’t a bad thing. One such example is Hermione, who many fanartists have depicted as black, with curly hair or an afro. Because Hermione’s character and story are not intrinsically tied to any particular cultural or explicit details that would make it logically flawed to hc her as non-white, there’s really nothing wrong with this.

This is different from the opposite because it is a way for non-white audiencemembers to drive home the point that non-white Americans/Europeans are, in many ways, just like their white counterparts. That is to say, whether Hermione is black or white doesn’t change who she is; she can be a white English lady or a black English lady, but being black doesn’t necessarily mean she would act any differently or be a totally different person. It is a means to combat the assumption that any American/European character whose culture isn’t explictly brought up by the creator of a work is white.

This isn’t the same as the opposite - portraying POC characters as white - because the latter is a form of whitewashing. When you portray assumed-white characters as POC, you are not erasing anything from that character, while portraying POC characters as white erases their culture, the visibility of that ethnic group/race, and any details the creator of the content might have included in their story about that character. That’s why films are criticized for casting white actors to play POC characters, and artists are criticized for lightening character’s skin tones or erasing physical features of theirs that can be attributed to their ethnic/racial identity.

Now the question with portraying Sapnap as Latino is, is this wrong, exactly? I’d like to preface by saying that everything I’ve said about portraying Sapnap as Latino has been purely my opinion. At the end of the day, I’m not an expert on racial theory or art; I’m just a poli sci major who’s taken a couple courses on racism and has talked and learned a bit about POC in media. You can come to whatever conclusions you like, at the end of the day, and portray him however you like, love.

As I see it, there are several reasons portraying Sapnap as Latino is Problematic™. First off, Sapnap and other white members of the Dream SMP already have problems with recognizing POC and the implications of POC within the SMP. Sapnap has actually answered a donation before by saying that he’s not 100% white because he’s part-Greek, completely unironically and without recognizing why him saying that was wrong. Imo, this indicates a lack of understanding for what it really means to be a POC in Western countries that so many white people exhibit. Being a person of color in Western Europe, the US, Canada, Australia, etc., means functioning within a society where you have to battle with yourself everyday your own, multiple, and seemingly contradictory identities. It means functioning within a society where you have to navigate the crossroads of oppression within you must survive. White people who falsely claim that they aren’t white like this simply don’t understand or are even aware of exactly what it means to be shaped by the oppression of being a person of color. They believe that being a person of color, beyond occassionally experiencing explicit racism, is just a label and a tie to one’s ancestry, when it’s much more beyond that. And the thing is, Sapnap can’t claim that label because he simply hasn’t gone through the lived experience of a POC in the United States. And that’s fine. It’s fine to be white, and to just be a little ignorant to your whiteness. I’m not attacking Sapnap by pointing this all out, I’m just stating facts.

Secondly, this would mean that a 100% white person is essentially playing the role of a Latino character, which is already a far-too common practice in film and TV showmaking. Then again, I will admit that a counter-argument can be made here, in that, headcanons are not actually canon to the Dream SMP plot. For example, Ranboo has told his audience he’s fine with viewers headcanon’ing his character as nonbinary, even though Ranboo himself is cisgender. This is an ambiguous aspect of his character that can be manipulated however the viewers like since there has been nothing within the canon to refute it, so far. However, it would be a different matter entirely if Ranboo, a cisgender man, attempted to write his character as a nonbinary person and then act out that nonbinary character himself. That would actually be unjust and kinda fucked. Now, along a similar vein, one could argue that audiencemembers headcanon’ing Sapnap as Latino isn’t really a bad thing since it isn’t Sapnap himself trying to portray what he believes a Latino character would be like. So I get the potential counter-argument there.

Thirdly, my main problem with this whole drawing Sapnap as Latino ordeal is the hypocrisy of it all. Far too often within this fandom, I see fanartists and writers erase Quackity’s ethnic identity, whitewashing him in their art or completely disregarding his race in their work. And while one could argue that the lack of focus in this fandom on Skeppy can be explained by his infrequent streams and departure from the SMP lore, Ponk is rarely drawn or written about, and he streams regularly and always has something going on with his character, in side plots or otherwise. I just find it lowkey absurd that this fandom thirsts for a Latino character so bad that it has to portray Sapnap, who is played by a white actor, as Latino, when there are other POC whose identities are either disregarded or the characters as a whole ignored.

Fourth, my main question, at the end of the day, is, why are we not advocating for more POC in the SMP? Why headcanon characters as POC, when they could literally just make an effort to uplift more POC CCs, who are highly marginalized within the streamer and Youtube communities? I’m Latinx too, mate, and I’d fucking love more POC characters to fall in love with, but Sapnap isn’t the one to fill that hole.

Regarding other sorts of headcanons and how those relate to headcanon’ing characters as different races: my thoughts on this are way too complicated, at the moment. But to sum it up as concisely as possible: a) I am not neurodivergent, as far as I know, so I cannot do the subject nearly as much justice as a neurodivergent person could; b) my thoughts still kinda align with the same thought process as race - that it’s useful to hc characters as neurodivergent because it helps to break stigmas that ND people are so vastly different from neurotypical people that traditionally-assumed neurotypical people couldn’t possibly actually be ND; c) I would still advocate for more ND representation in the SMP, rather than try to warp the neurotypical people’s characters to fit into that yearn for representation that I so desire; d) there actually are ND people on the SMP - a couple of people with ADHD, as far as I know - who do exhibit ND characteristics in their characters/lore, as well, so frankly, why not give those characters ND hc’s?

Anyways, this was so much longer than I wanted it to be and I still don’t know if I fully articulated my take on the subject properly. It’s really just too complicated a subject to be applied to Dream SMP fanart, so my conclusion is: Imma diss people for drawing Sapnap as Latino when Quackity is RIGHT THERE, and you can draw him however the hell you like. At the end of the day, we’re both just people obsessing over block men, and there’s no significant harm  that will come from either of our opinions or your artwork. I hope this was a satisfying answer, and seriously, thank you for getting me to write this all out because it actually made me realize that I’m not as fully against the idea as I thought I was <3

[comfeyworks]

Alastor writing/ Character ref sheet

NOTE: This is MY interpretation/ notes of my characterization of Alastor. Most is speculation and the other parts are just me having fun imagining what his character could be like. This is no way meant to be official or taken as cannon in any way.

A wonderful user by the name of dolly moon complied a lot of information from Viv’s streams. I’m referencing some of the information here so please check them out, they did a fantastic job making notes.

Warning: Contains talk about murder, cannibalism and other possible triggering subjects.

General

---NAME: Alastor--- Died: 1933 Age: 30′s Occupation: Former radio host and serial killer. Currently powerful overlord in hell

Main Personality/ notes

Always smiling (He sees people frowning as weak)

Sadistic

Charming and charismatic

Very proud( puffed out chest, arms behind back)

He's controlling/ does things his own way

Careful! He's not too braggy, or too forceful/ demanding. Ex: Viv stated in her qna that the pilot was originally going to have Alastor boast about himself and his backstory. Instead vaggie narrates his backstory. She changed this because Alastor wasn’t the type of person to flaunt his achievements. He knows that everyone knows how powerful he is, he’s not the type to rub it in. He's supposed to be charming, but still proud, juuuust in the right way

He knows what he wants, but doesn’t necessarily brute-forces his way to get it. Ex: "He-" "-llo!" He KNOWS he's getting in hotel regardless, but waits for Charlie to open up the door before invading the hallway.

Deceitful; When asked why he wants to help out at the hotel, he says: "Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself!" 'This is what you can think my reason is...' is essentially what he's saying. He answers Charlie’s question in a roundabout way that givers her what she wants to know while still keeping his true intentions secret. Time and time again, he lets his mask down slightly when Charlie isn’t looking. At 24:10 he narrows his eyes when she has her back turned to him At the beginning of his song he distracts her with magic so he can push Vaggie away. When he says “...And it’s just laughable-” during he reprise he turns away from Charlie to say this, he leans down to Vaggie.

He’s a hypocrite (hates being touched, invades other’s personal space)

Watches people do things the hard way and then reveal he can do it once it's done just to watch people fuck up

DELIGHTS in watching people failing/ struggling to do things. He likes observing people/ sinners as they are battling with their conflicted emotions.

He’s curious (He stopped by the ‘radio shack’ place to see what Charlie was talking about on the broadcast, and cocked his head when she started singing. To me that meant, “Oh? What’s this now? Something new?” he was intrigued and wanted to know more)

He analyzes people. He looks at the Magne family portrait when left alone. You can briefly hear him playing Charlie’s “Inside of every demon is a rainbow” song, and smiling.

He picks up on things quickly. Vaggie makes it clear she doesn’t like the idea of him being there, and he messes with her. He puts his elbow on her and pushes her away ( 20:44-20:48) He pulls her chin up and tells her to ‘smile’

He’s egotistical. No one is really ‘up to his level’

He gives verbal and physical affection constantly throughout the pilot, but it’s not genuine.

Likes being unpredictable

Primary drive:   Decisions are weighed in his own wants/ feelings. He wants to be amused, he chases exciting/ entertaining things. Think of him as like a cat chasing a mouse.

Fears: He doesn’t fear anyone. But is wary of powerful threats. He dislikes dogs Physical Expression: He’s VERY, VERY expressive through his body language and eyes. Large/ easy to read emotions can be perceived through his body language (Leaning towards someone, or leaning away). Smaller/ pinpoint emotions can be read through his eyes and type of smile (Wide eyes, squinted, closed vs open smile, etc.) He’s like a bird, fluffing out his feathers constantly. (He fixes his hair briefly at 24:41) He expresses himself proudly. ‘This is who I am, remember that!!’. Viv said the reason why almost all of characters have nicknames is that a soul’s real name is dangerous, its a way others can have power over you. Yet Alastor uses his first name, because he’s not scared and confident in who he is as a person. He doesn’t hide from any aspect of himself. I’ve stated he hates being touched by others. When he picks up Nifty in the pilot, she poofs out and spreads her limbs out. At 25:41, Alastor turns his head away from her briefly so she doesn’t touch him.

Flaws/ Weaknesses:

(Note: Basically anything already stated can be a problem depending on the situation, I’m just saying things about his character that he’d find weak or naturally cause problems)

His mother, he’d do anything for her.

He has a darker/ more powerful demon side to him where he runs purely on instinct/ primitive emotions.

He’s arrogant. This can cause problems!

---

Killer/ moral compass profile (Living)

Motivations:

Thrill Killer- Pleasure from pain

Slight power/control aspect involved as well.

‘Causes’

Childhood trauma (abusive father)

Environmental factors (mother died when he was 18-20)

Type of killer: *Note: I’m still not 100% satisfied with this part, I might make some changes later*

He won’t just kill anyone. They have to meet a certain list of requirements.

Viv compared him as someone similar to Dexter

He’s a very goal oriented killer. Whatever he did it was with reason and purpose, meticulously planned. Ex: Maybe one year he’d kill someone who was a real jerk, to see how the others around him flourished. Likewise he might kill someone who was important to the community just to see how the grief made everyone react.

He was a very careful killer, he ended up dying purely on accident, bad luck.

He killed for the fun of it, pure joy, excitement, curiosity. But he only killed people he thought deserved it.

He considers what he does to be ‘work’. He expresses in the pilot how after decades in hell it’s become ‘mundane’ and ‘aimless’.

The victims had to be overconfident to some degree.(This ties into the ‘he wouldn’t chase his victims.’ They had to be somewhat full of themselves or naive)

Some kills are personal (Someone wronging him, trying to hurt him, otherwise he just wouldn’t care if some guy is an asshole) but others are just because he feels like they’re bad/ they’ve have done something that they need to die for.

He used ‘personal’ ways of killing people. (Knife, his hands). I don’t think he would have used a gun of any kind because of the noise, but he could have once every blue moon.

Generally doesn’t draw things out for too long ”...If I wanted to hurt anyone here... I would have done so already.” (He defeats Sir Pentious in under a minute. But still takes the time to crush him and drag his body across the floor.)

He ate people, and knew how to make delicious meals out of them.

Buried his victim’s bodies/ remains on a hunting ground for deer.

Morals

No human is pure or kind just because. They’re selfish beings. Who take and act to help their own causes. Everyone is a monster on the inside. “...redemption, the nonexistent humanity!”

Everyone puts on a mask to hide who they truly are. Life is one big game to see who can survive. “...the world is a stage! And the stage, is a world of entertainment!”

People don’t change “...there is no undoing what is done.”

Puts himself first, and above everyone else. He also degrades others. “I don’t think there’s any hope left for such loathsome sinners...” ”Inside of every demon is a lost cause, but we’ll dress them up for now with just a smile!” “...and show these simpletons some proper class and style...” ��...do I know you?” “You think I’m [husk] some kind of fuckin’ clown!?” “...maybe!”

People deserve the consequences they get for being themselves “...the chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this!”

He understands what society views as good and evil, but doesn’t really believe in those standards himself. What is considered evil he just views as a hobby or something fun to explore. Ex: Cannibalism is wrong by society’s standards, but to him he thinks the greater wrong is killing something and not making use of it.

He has some level of empathy. (Again, He’d never kill a child or those running away.)

People’s emotions are a fun little game to him. “...I want to watch the scum of the earth struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip, and tumble down into the firey pit of failure!”

Doesn’t see value in being nice or honest. (He does find it funny to watch)

Other notes/ hc

He’s knowledgeable. In more ways than one. He knows not to fuck with certain people if he doesn’t want to get hurt, he’s got knowledge on the workings/ operations of hell and deal-making.

Likes to cook

He likes bitter things (Bloody meat, alcohol, black coffee)

He’s got a party side to him.

He speaks french!

He plays musical instruments

He knows how to fight without his powers

He’s an only child

He’s part creole

He hates silence, he always surrounds himself with noise of some kind.

Husk and Alastor have a long, complicated relationship

He does things to make Nifty happy (Wearing sweaters)

He’d go out into a hurricane just to let it beat him down for fun (Why is this so funny to me)

Despite all he is, Alastor is capable of having friends and loving.

Has absolutely NO romantic experience.

He hates modern technology in general, but hates tik tok the most

The idea of Alastor cross-dressing to lure his victims in is absolutely hilarious to me, but I don’t think he’d ever do it.

[whoaffle]

I love your comics but I feel like you're portraying Rose like some sort of joke. I and a lot of other people who love Rose HC him with anxiety and its really insulting the way you're making him act. Idk maybe you don't HC him the same way but seeing you take Cyrus' depression so seriously and then treating Rose like he's some sort of idiot really stings. Or maybe I'm projecting too much. I'm sorry if this upsets you and you don't have to pay it any mind if you don't want to.

Heya! I’m really sorry that you feel this away about our Rose. First of all, I have to say that I don’t headcanon Rose with anxiety or any other sort of mental issues (like I do with Cyrus), which is why I feel comfortable with portraying him the way I do. In fact, I myself have anxiety (besides depression) and I know just how serious it is, so I wouldn’t want to joke with that. I’m sorry if the way I portray Rose felt insulting, it wasn’t the intention. I’ll try to explain the logic behind our characters, including Rose.

The thing with my comics is that it’s a comedy thing, even though I do take some aspects of it very seriously, so all characters are somewhat treated as “jokes”. Usually the way we make comedy involves working around the characters’ flaws in a way to make them somewhat funny, but keeping the characters likeable and relatable. Each of them has strong “flaws”, and by that I mean characteristics that cause them to generate conflict, even if they are not necessarily “flaws” as in “inherently bad”:

Giovanni is very easily-stressed, he has little patience. He has some family issues too, but we try to play on those carefully. Maxie is very anxious, and has a strong need to be in control of everything because he is very insecure - and that part of him is partially inspired in myself, I have to say. Archie is dumb, like... the one character that is just very dumb in a way that people usually aren’t - but he has lots of positive traits to compensate that. Cyrus has extremely poor social skills, he is very rude and a perfectionist too. Ghetsis is... oof. Ghetsis is kind of the ‘bad example’ character, besides being stressed all the time and sadistic, he is also homophobic, intolerant, violent, etc, etc... In fact, if anyone in my comics is treated kind of unfairly, I suppose that’s Ghetsis... But I intend on giving him some long-term character development, as well as with most characters. Lysandre is super selfish and has no common sense, Guzma is very lazy and a big liar, Lusamine is sometimes creepy and childish... And, well, the “flaws” we gave Piers and Rose are: Piers has self-esteem issues and is very likely to self-depreciate, while Rose is super hasty because he’s always trying too much to help but usually acts before thinking.

All of these traits are like... traits that many people have in their lives, and our intentions are not to make fun of actual people who have these traits - just use them as a tool to make comedy: in order to make it funnier in the comics, we exaggerate them and make them absurd (in a way that most people don’t behave on a daily basis). We like to work with comedy based on absurdity. So the characters behave in such an unlikely way that it turns out as funny. Of course that the absurd can be used the other way round to show tragedy too, you can feel sorry for a character that acts in an absurd way, you can show people being absurdly unfair towards others and that will make the reader feel sad and angry and frustrated...  It all depends on how the narrative works, how things are shown and, specially, how bad the consequences of the absurd actions are. We try to keep things light and funny most of the time, but we understand that humor is a delicate subject, and sometimes it may have an undesired negative effect on people... It has happened before with our Happy Cyrus series, I actually think nowadays that I should have finished that series in a different way, but either way it’s never our intention to make people feel bad. I apologize if that happened to you with our Rose as well.

What we plan to do with Rose is making him “absurdly” hasty (even if he has the best of intentions). He is definitely NOT dumb, though - this is something we have already discussed (me and my siblings). I don’t think Rose is stupid at all, he is actually a very intelligent man when he thinks carefully about things (after all, he is a super successful CEO). The thing is: he often does things before thinking. If I was writing non-comedy or partial-comedy, I would not exaggerate him the way we do in the comics... I’d treat him hastiness more seriously and try to come up with more complex thoughts and feelings behind his actions. But to create the comic effect, we exaggerate all characters to the “absurd” level (as I said), and that’s why Rose acts the way he does for now. This is not only about Rose, we just haven’t had the chance to show his other sides yet. (Trust me, you’ll see Archie doing some really absurd things very soon... And Lysandre as well. In future comics, Guzma too will do very absurd things too... Ghetsis has been doing absurd things since the beginning, and Lusamine does them often as well... etc).

Anyway, there’s also this kind of “balance” between absurd and “relatableness” that we try to keep in the comics, so... while all characters have some trait that is enhanced to an absurd level, we usually alternate which of them is being used as “comic” and which is being used as the “contrast” - that is... Rose breaking the table and Giovanni yelling at him - Rose is being comic, doing something absurd, while Giovanni is the contrast - the character we relate to, that reacts to the absurdity of the situation. However, we can also have: Giovanni yelling at the computer because he doesn’t know how to close the browser window and having a huge fit and Rose telling him the computer can’t understand his screams then offering help - In that situation, Giovanni is the “comic” one - his flaw is the one amplified - and Rose takes the role of “contrast character”. Some characters tend to be contrast more often: usually Maxie, Cyrus, Piers, N and sometimes Guzma and Giovanni; while others are more likely to be comic, such as Archie, Ghetsis, Rose, Colress, Lusamine and Lysandre, but we do have situations in which Maxie or Cyrus are the comic characters and someone like Archie or Colress will work as the contrast. It all depends on the dynamics. Sometimes all characters are being absurd and it’s up the the reader being the contrast, even.

But anyway!!! I kinda took this further than I wanted! (Sorry, I studied Language Arts and I like talking about this kind of stuff). What I think has to be clarified here is: we definitely don’t headcanon Rose with anxiety and the kind of thing he is doing is not meant to be a portrayal of a person with anxiety. Quite the opposite actually: he is a super carefree character in our headcanon, who always believes things will be all right and is almost always OK with everything. He is always trying to help others and that desire to be the one who will solve the problem is what leads him to making hasty choices very often. Also, we will most likely give Rose some more “serious” character arcs, like we want to do with the others, so he will definitely have the opportunity to shine and show his good traits as well. He is very humble, he is generous, he avoids conflict, he is intelligent and creative, he likes to make people smile... He has good things in him, and we want to show them with time, just like we would like to do with all characters.

I hope this explanation makes you feel better about this whole thing. We’ll be careful not to turn Rose into a flat character with only jokes to him... It’s not our intentions, and we want to make him a complex character like the others.

It makes me sad that my comics have hurt you and other fans of Rose, because our intention is to make people smile with them, so I hope you understand what we are trying to do and accept my apologies. I love Rose as much as I love my other characters, and I think the only reason why I am so attached to Cyrus and talk so much about his depression is because I have the same problem and it’s always something that’s coming back to me at times, even more than my anxiety... I sometimes use Cyrus as some kind of “vault character”.

Also glad you like my comics even though you had some stuff to criticize! Thanks a lot for the feedback! :)

[aerinmelina]

I replied to this comment, however I feel this warrants an explanation via post as well.

I was speaking from a sleep-deprived, PMS-ing, worried mother state when I threatened to leave. My youngest child broke his arm just earlier this week and he’s trying to Spider-Man crawl up things while I frantically pull him off of walls and tables and kitchen islands and whatever else he’s been getting into (or onto). I might take a break from the Fablehaven fandom once in a while going forward, but I don’t see myself as fully leaving unless the drama continues full speed ahead and becomes a permanent fixture. I love you all too much to really leave, and this book series has meant so much to me for so long.

I said what I said out of frustration and hurt. @fairyprincesskendra is one of my closest friends, and the anon hate she’s been receiving has set my hair standing straight up. (Seriously, anon, go curl up in a hole and die. Take your shameful self away from this website and all others forever.) This girl means the world to me. She’s helped me through so much of my suffering. She’s listened to me moan and whine and cry about my ex and all of the crap that he still puts me through even now, and she’s done it with an open and accepting heart. She’s given me hugs when I’ve needed them. She’s helped talk me through anxiety attacks when the world of single parenting with traumatized children + traumatized self has been too overwhelming to handle. We’ve spent time painting our nails and playing board games and staying up late at night and co-writing fics (which we still need to finish at some point) and laughing about ridiculous hc’s and driving through the forest near her home and ordering way too much food when we’re out and... and... and... the list goes on.

It hurts me to think that some random person with an unhealthy agenda could be so cruel to someone who means so much to me. I don’t care what people say or think about me - that’s their issue, not mine. But for someone to attack one of my friends like that? It hurts. And I don’t think I’m the only person who feels hyper-sensitive about this right now. A whole bunch of us love her. She’s a wonderful friend and a good person.

The anon hate plus the appearance of another blog which held a similar atmosphere and overall feel as her own shitpost blog was a little much to handle all at about the same time. My understanding is that the new shitpost blog did not plagiarize her work, but the feelings between posts were eerily similar, and the overall aesthetic of the new blog was also close to Erin’s.

I felt it was important to explain that it’s okay for more than one person to contribute similarly-fashioned content into a fandom, which is 100% true. In doing that, however, I failed to recognize that Erin has worked so hard, and for so long, to generate content for this small fandom. She deserved some differences in blog names and aesthetics, and I should have addressed that as well. (I believe the new blog has adjusted their name and appearance so that they are more distinguishable from Erin’s blog. Thank you for that.)

Adding fuel to the fire, I logged on to tumblr this morning and found that @certain-death-awaits was receiving quite a lot of hate, hence the gif I chose to reference in my post this morning (RE: everything burning down and me being like ‘wtf mate???’). My feed is usually a good mix of all of the various fandoms I belong to + cool quotes, and it’s usually all positive content, but this morning all it was was hate hate hate hate hate and I simply can’t deal with that.

I am typically more well-spoken and articulate through written word than I am through spoken word. I actually shove my foot in my own mouth a lot via spoken word, and I’m amazed that I have the job I have because really... putting my foot in my mouth is like a special talent of mine, and I talk a lot in my current role. Maybe my autistic brother and father rubbed off on me a little too much while I was growing up. 🤷‍♀️ There are certain social things which have never really clicked with me, and I still find myself making errors to this day. This special talent of mine does also bleed over into my writing from time to time. I try to be pragmatic and diplomatic when I’m addressing sensitive topics and situations; that’s just who I am. That’s the approach I always take. And sometimes I flub it big time.

It’s an error. I’m a human being. I never mean harm to anyone (except Erin’s evil anon), and I never mean to offend anyone (again, except for stalker!abuser!anon who should shove off forever). This is a flaw in me which I recognize about myself, and I’ve used that recognition to learn to give other people the benefit of the doubt. “Did they really mean for that post to come across like that?” or “Did they purposely phrase it like this, or was that something they didn’t exactly say the way they meant to say it?” and other such questions are common thoughts which cross my mind frequently. I do forget sometimes that not everyone thinks along the same lines as me, and then I wind up assuming that all people will be as forgiving of me as I am of them and award me the benefit of the doubt as well. I try to carefully word my posts, but there will inevitably be mistakes. I promise that I don’t wake up in the morning asking the questions, “Who should I piss off today?” or “Who’s my next victim to offend?”

Please. With the knowledge you have about me now, and with the insight I’ve tried to give you regarding my gaps in social skills, please give me the benefit of the doubt. And please give others this benefit, too. We’re all humans, and sometimes we make genuine mistakes. It never hurts to reach out to someone with the hope of gaining understanding.

Well, damn. This has turned into a rant. I’m going to post this and go to sleep so that I can try to successfully drag my butt out of bed at some pre-dawn hour in the morning.

I’m still calling for peace. Please let the wars and the fighting stop. Can we not move on with our lives? Can this fandom please become an uplifting space again? I just want to talk about character traits and analyses and plot twists and holes again.

[hejer-maomao]

Can I make a request in how the Ikerev suitors react to a MC with Depression? If you aren't comfortable writing this, I understand.

… This right here has to be the most challenging request I have ever received and I’m honestly terrified of writing it.

I have hesitated for some time now and I even thought of simply turning you down because depression is not an easy topic to write about. But when I thought of the possibility of these HCs somehow making anyone, anyone, out there feel a little bit better about themselves, then I will force myself out of my comfort zone for it.

Just few words of serious warning here. I am not an expert on mental illnesses nor am I a doctor. Although I am not exactly mentally healthy myself, I have never been diagnosed with depression either. I will try my best to make this as accurate as possible, based on my readings, my own experience and my friends’ struggles. So, please, do not hesitate to tell me if something is erroneous or can potentially offend or trigger anyone who has depression and I will immediately take this post down, you have my word.

The purpose of these HCs will be to heal and to comfort and NOT to belittle or mock depression.

For all of you out there, who are battling with depression, you are real warriors my friends and I pray to God you never stop fighting. Keep clinging to hope and never be ashamed to seek out help. Many people , including myself, are always ready to hear you out. My ask box is also open for everyone who simply wants an ear to listen.

Trigger Warning: Depression.

Ikemen Revolution Suitors Reacting to an MC with Depression:

Lancelot:

Lancelot would quietly listen to you as you confess everything to him, his eyes never leaving your face, his hands gently enveloping your cold ones.

Once he is sure you have said it all, Lancelot will slowly guide your body to face his own, bring his face closer to yours and solemnly say, “You’re not a burden. You’re a strong woman. So strong. But I’m here now, so try to lean on me even for a while.”

Lancelot would tightly embrace your trembling body with his strong arms, trapping you against the solid warmth of his chest, and burying his face into the crook of your shoulder, leaving behind soft kisses on your skin.

His hands would come up to pat your hair, tightening his hold on you further as soon as he begins to hear your sobs echoing in the room. After letting you cry your heart out, the King of Hearts would gently pick you up and carry you to the bed. Carefully tucking you under the covers, he would place a soothing kiss on your forehead. 

Lancelot will not leave your side for the rest of the night, nor the night after it as well as all nights for the rest of your lives.

Just like you have managed to save him from the throes of despair, supported him when he was distant and cold, and forgave his cruelest actions, Lancelot took an oath to himself to never stray away from your side, and to hold your hand as you find your way out of the darkness inside your head.

Jonah:

As soon as the words left your lips, it would take some time for Jonah to process the situation and for his brain to register the new information. When it fully sinks in, Jonah’s eyes would immediately begin to water, his cheeks taking on a soft shade of red before he chokes out. “How can you be so strong?”

Jonah would gently hold your hands, bringing them to his lips, kissing each and every knuckle of yours before nuzzling your palm against his own cheeks. Throwing his arms around you in a hug, Jonah would gently whisper how strong, how fierce and how beautiful you are, because even in your darkest hours, you never gave up on yourself.

The Queen of Hearts would then puff up his chest and slightly pout, his eyes still red from all the tears he shed and order you to stay put until be comes back. Jonah would then leave for a few minutes before returning with a plate full of sweet treats, plopping next to you on the sofa and shoving them into your mouth. For each cookie you successfully eat, Jonah would reward you with a gently peck on your lips, softly smiling at you as you slowly make your way through the desserts, Pine nestled quietly on your lap.

Jonah cannot be prouder of you after your confession. He always respected the incredible woman he fell in love with right from the start, but knowing how much pain and suffering you had to go through on a daily basis made Jonah wants to hold you inside his arms and never let you go.

You’re the bravest soldier Jonah has ever met.

Edgar:

Edgar’s surprise in reaction to your words barely lasts for a few seconds before his regular, soft smile returns to his lips. He adorably tilts his head and softly tells you, “I love you regardless of anything.”

For Edgar, there’s nothing you can say to him that can make his love for you decrease even by a mere inch. After all, you have accepted him wholly, with his bloody past and disappointing actions, deceiving nature and horrible secrets. How can he not do the same for you?

The Jack of Hearts knows all about self-loathing and the awful feelings of anguish and hopelessness. Even now, Edgar still hasn’t learned how to completely let go of his past, nor how to accept that this cruel world actually deserves to be loved. 

Edgar will hold your hand in his, and will ask you to stay by his side as you both learn, bit by bit, to love life again and see that there’s hope even in the midst of the darkest nights.

If Edgar managed to return from hell itself with your help, then you have no doubts that he will give up everything he has in order for you to keep on living and learn how to smile again.

Zero:

Zero’s first words to you would be, “It’s okay to feel this way,” as he tightly holds your hand, his eyes trembling with raw emotions. 

Zero is no stranger to the feeling of utter emptiness in one’s chest. He has, for very long time now, felt as if he does not belong anywhere, as if he is destined to feel lost and meaningless for the rest of his life.

So Zero, knowing that you feel almost the same as he, if not worse, smiles gently at you and squeezes your hand a bit tighter. Just as you chose to see past his flaws and his deeply-rooted insecurities, Zero will forever see you as the strong warrior you are. In your dark just as your bright days, Zero promises he will be there. He will smile when you do and hold you close whenever you feel like crying. He will give you space and time whenever you need them and stick close to you if you feel like the world is crashing around you.

Zero will be more than content to simply walk by your side and match your pace. He will be there when you feel courageous enough to take baby steps towards healing and he will never abandon you even when you shut yourself in your room and come so close to giving everything up. Zero will be there, through it all. So do not be afraid, and lean on his sturdy back, and let his gentle warmth and kind heart heal your very soul.

Kyle:

“Is there anything I can do to help?” would be Kyle’s softly whispered words as he gently holds you close to his chest, one hand patting the crown of your head, tousling your hair in a familiar gesture.

Kyle might not be a psychologist, but as a doctor, he knows that talking about one’s fears and doubts might prove quiet efficient in the process of healing. He is more than ready to introduce you to one of his psychologists friends, whom he has absolute trust in their skills. But if you do not feel ready to talk to anyone yet, Kyle will respect your decision and encourage you to take as much time as you need. He will be there, whichever choice you make.

Kyle’s soft heart and awkward kindness will shine through your darkest days as his rough hands will guide you back to the surface every time you feel like you’re drowning. Kyle will use every means in his hands to bring you back to health, all the while making sure he does not force you beyond your limits. 

His golden eyes will never stray from you as he alternates between gently pushing you towards the sun and tenderly enveloping you in the safety of your shared room. No matter how hard things become, Kyle will be there with his silly smiles and stupid jokes, and he will repeatedly save you whenever you feel too tired to even stand on your own.

Ray:

Ray’s emerald eyes would tremble for so long, his hands softly rubbing your back as he quietly waits for you to finish speaking before he calmly whisperer: “There is hope.”

Ray is not excessively optimistic, nor is he unreasonably idealistic. He simply knows the woman he loves and he knows what she is capable of. He is certain that she will make it through it all, no matter how many times she falls, no matter how much it bleeds and hurts, he knows you will get back up even if you choose to stay down for some time, gathering up your strength.

Ray fell in love with a real fighter, same as him. And just like he never gave up on his own self for years, Ray will undoubtedly never give up on you either.

He knows it’s hard. He knows how painful it is to get up in the morning when all you want to do is to lay in bed, crying your heart out, doing nothing at all. He knows how tedious life can become, when all the people around you are smiling and enjoying themselves while you feel like suffocating with each breath you take, your insecurities piling up on your shoulders, threatening o pull you under the tide at any given chance.

Be ready to be completely accepted by this man. All of you, from head to toe, will be embraced by Ray as he walks you the same road as you towards self-healing. 

Take as much time as you need with this man by your side. With Belle gathered in his arms, he will follow you to the ends of the world.

Sirius:

Sirius will be silent for a long while after you finish talking. He will hold your hands between his own, his fingers tenderly caressing your knuckles, as he thinks for a while.

Once he reaches his final conclusion, Sirius will hum in approval before getting up, dragging you with him in the process.

“Let me help,” is Sirius’ next words as he wears his usual, familiar smile.

You will pampered to death by this man. Do you feel like staying at your room all day without doing nothing at all? Sirius will make sure you have soft blankets, water and warm meals whenever the darkness in your head gets too overwhelming. Do you feel a little bit better, ready to go out for a while? Sirius will also be there, hand intertwined with yours, as he allows to pick whichever destination you want to go to, without ever pushing you too far or forcing you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Life is unfair, and Sirius is well aware if that. Although he cannot exactly banish your doubts and insecurities, he will be there to deny them all and remind you how much you are loved and that when all of this is over, he will still be here and so will you.

Seth:

Ever wondered how it would feel if you had someone who understands your very soul without even needing to speak? Well, Seth will become that person for you.

You don’t even need to spell everything out, Seth would be up on his feet declaring that you’ll get through this together. 

Just like Sirius, Seth will be able to read your every mood and act according to your feelings for the day. He will alternate between providing you with days full with shopping trips, delicious food and girls’ talk and others simply spent watching classical movies in the darkness of your shared room, curled up together under the blankets, munching on simple treats.

Don’t hesitate to lay everything bare to this man and rely on him to hold your hand as you fight your way through it all to reach the surface. Seth will never judge you nor deny any of your efforts. Whether you only manage to get up from your bed in the morning or spend an entire day smiling or laughing, Seth will be proud of you regardless.

Harr:

“I love you”, is Harr’s response to your confession.

For him, a strong fighter like you who managed to help him out of his own darkness is more than capable to save herself, but he will be there with you, each step of the way, keeping you safe from the demons inside your head, and holding your hand whenever it feels too much to bear.

Harr’s kindness and concern will mainly show in actions rather than words. A cup of warm chocolate and soft tissues after you finish sobbing your heart out for no reason. Your favorite flower appearing right beside your pillow after you spent an entire day holed up in your room, refusing to let anyone inside.

Small acts like these will contentiously prove Harr’s determination to share his warmth with you, as you both find your ways towards loving yourselves and loving this world.

Oliver:

Clenching his teeth in irritation, Oliver will most certainty tell you how much of an idiot you are, if you thought this will change anything between you.

“You chose me, so don’t go around trying to escape. You’re stuck with me, so deal with it. You won’t drive me away.”

Oliver’s behavior will not undergo any major changes after your declaration. He will still treat you the same way since he does not consider you to be any different. In his eyes, you’re the same silly woman he fell in love with. It doesn’t matter for him that at certain days, you would feel too empty to even get up from the bed or too tired to even brush your hair or drink your coffee. It does not matter because Oliver will be there in any case, every day, whether good or bad, and will kiss you good morning, insult your bed hair before threading his fingers through it, tenderly kissing its ends.

Oliver is the same as ever, and his love for you will remain unchanged. He fell in love with a human after all, and he will embrace that human, with all of her mood swings and flaws.

Hey little fighter, soon things will be brighter ❤

[creepypastashavecomittedtaxfraud]

mind if i ask for some good soft stuff w Jeff and Toby? or Ben ! ...or EJ.........or Nina.... I'm sorry I will take literally anything I love ur hcs So Much and also Jeff needs more love uwu ((Gee Jeff how come u get to have so many bfs and a gf))

ILL DO SOME FOR EVERYONE!!! Jeff has50 billion partners we know this

this post got SUPER SUPER long i am so sorry everyonebut these r all like my favorite pairings ever SO…i wanna do them justice. under the cut because of the length!

Jeff x Toby

oh they just Love to mess with eachother and pull pranks on each other. toby especially loves to get at jeff withem. usually ends up making the other one just SO MAD

which then sometimes leads to playfighting .which then might lead to one of them getting pinned to the wall.which might end up in semi-angry makeouts .who knows hehe

parts-of-our-mouths-are-rotting-awaygang . toby likes kissing jeff a lil bit on his exposed teeth cus he thinksit’s funny. jeff acts annoyed by it but it makes him blush a little bit.

they both have the tendency to bekind of self destructive and just in general not doing basic self care stuff. sothey Try to keep a little bit of an eye on each other .they both hate to beover bearing but idk. they just care about each other a lot. And love eachother when they cant love themselves

toby and jeff both can be prettyemotionally explosive , so they try to keep each other as level headed aspossible. distracted and mentally ok so one of them doesn’t completely spiralout of control, though if that were to happen the other one will be there toget a hold of em.

The best way to calm either of themis grabbing a hold of them physically and holding their head in your arms untilthey chill out. Ungraceful maybe but effective and relatively easy.

they’re both pretty troubled, butthey’re trying to get it under control. They’re there for each other no matterwhat.

they like to go up to the humanworld late at night and fuck around. climb on stuff that shouldn’t be climbedon. play in fountains. vandalize shit. that’s date night for them. One day jeffgot ahold of some spray paint and they both went nuts with it, THAT was a goodday

Toby didn’t used to smoke till hemet jeff but now they’re both in it unfortunately aha..jeff kind of regretsgetting him into the habit but not much can be done about it now.

Since meeting Jeff toby’s definitelypicked up his kind of harsh sarcastic humor streak, and jeff’s actually gotten atiny bit nicer, though whether that’s of tobys influence or just the sideeffect of being in love is up for debate. So I guess there was a small exchangethere. They balance out nicely.

they both get beat up and injured alottt on the job, probably the most reckless ones of everyone. despite this,whenever the other one comes home all messed up the other one gets so freakedout and concerned, asking what happened and trying to take care of it. kind ofhypocritical but…they cant help it. 

they really really love each other.they wish they could both be healthier

Jeff x Ben

evenbefore they’re in a relationship they are Very close to each other. So whenthey actually get to dating, you know that’s solid. Nothing can tear themapart.

theywere very much, deeply in love with each other before ever admitting it . theyboth never wanted to say anything in case it ruined their close closefriendship but they both completely gave in eventually

they’rebest friends and best boyfriends at the same time. They’re each othersemotional and mental support. They love and care about each other so much, andare able to take care of each other so well because they so . deeply and intimatelyknow each other already. Yknow from being close for so long already. They reallydo trust each other with everything

it’slike they’re constantly together. They eat and sleep together, spend all daytogether, stay up all night together. It makes them happy, keeps them calm. The longest times they’re apart are when Jeff’s out killing or so injured he has to rest in his own room. 

Jeffhas his periods of really bad depression, and ben makes sure to be there forhim and take good care of him during these times. He’s very very calming andgentle and it keeps jeff calm and safe.

Ben,likewise, has long periods of bad depression too, which jeff helps himthrough. Takes care of him, keeps him distracted and comforted. Keeps himcompany.

Theyreally like to just hold each other and talk each other through things. Theyreally know how to communicate and what the other needs to hear and neverfeel lonely with the other around

Theylike to go out on the roof and smoke weed/cigarettes and kiss, sometimes they talksometimes they don’t. they could spend days alone with just each other.

They’ve known each other longer than they’ve known anyone else who lives there. that bond is special. and honestly, Jeff really is ben’s whole world. ben doesn’t know at all what he’d do without jeff. and jeff doesn’t know what he’d do without ben either. it feels like no one knows them like they know each other.

i guess the one little disconnect they have it ben doesn’t do the regular killing stuff like jeff does. doesn’t really get it. just stays home and does his own thing. sometimes he’s self conscious about it, like since he doesn’t do the same work as everyone else maybe he’s…weaker for it..or something. he doesn’t like to talk about it.

they’ve both been aloneand lonely for so long. Most of their lives really. So now that they have eachother they never ever want to let go

Jeff x EJ

Justas, a first things first, the moment ej sees jeff he already gets such a crushon him right away. It sounds so corny but he thinks jeff’s really the cutestguy he’s ever seen. A real love at first sight moment, even though hedefinitely doesn’t say anything about it at first.

EJ,also, is very much the caregiver type, and jeff desperately needs someone totake care of him, so they are really perfect for each other.

Jeffcan’t help but have a real soft spot for being taken care of , which ej is supposedto be doing for him anyway being the medic and all but still. Since ej’s been basicallyin love with jeff since forever he’s just so extra gentle and caring with himwhenever he’s hurt, it makes Jeff just melt…

I think ej’s very calm comforting level-headed logical personality is the main thing that makes jeff fall so hard for him. While he has other friends who try to help and support him ej actually seems to be the only one out of everyone who isn’t as badly effected by it. like he actually has the mental and emotional capabilities of supporting him. and slowly he just becomes so attached to and dependent on him, and he’s happy to love and support jeff

ej however has his really low points too, which jeff tries to help him through too. he holds ej in his arms and pets his hair or gently pats his back and listens to whatevers bothering him. which is all ej really needs. someone there with him. yknow

ej’svery casually affectionate, Jeff gets plenty of space if he wants but if they happento be around each other he loves to stand behind him and wrap his arms aroundhim, be close to him, touch his hair a little, run the back of his hand overhis cheek…really into light physical affection.

Couplevoted most likely to be caught making out in the closet randomly during the day

Ej isjust so completely in love with jeff, flaws and all, loves giving himattention, talking to him, taking care of him, giving him kisses. It is just embarrassinghow in love he is, even if he tries to only express it in private.

Jeffgets flustered and embarrassed easily with how sweet ej is to him, it stillgets him a little bit pink in the face even after being with him for so long, and tries to reciprocate it too. getting all cuddly and sweet with him when he feels the need to

Jeffloves bringing out ejs more outgoing social side. When they first met he wasvery reclusive and you know, loner-type, but jeff’s very outgoing andcenter-of-attention, so after some encouragement they’re both 100% party boystogether, which ej really needed. Being alone all the time was bad for him

Otherthan all that…They’re very strongly bonded and connected in a way they havetrouble describing. Ej just thinks jeff’s the most perfect man in the wholeworld , and Jeff thinks ej is just. perfect . so understanding and loving and caring and patient. he’s never met someone who puts up with his bullshit so well. and he is in Love

Jeff x Nina

Omg when nina finally gets to see him in person for the first time SHE IS SO EXCITED !!!! Runs up to him and gives him a huge hug, practically scooping him up off the ground !!!

He’s, very stunned at first, but gets his bearings back soon enough

After the initial rushed introduction, he learns why she’s here and he’s actually really flattered?

“You’re here??? For me??? you came all this way here to meet me???”

compliments really are the way to his heart lololol

and while he’s still kind of shocked from the whole thing….she is really cute….so that’s a plus

They spend a long time getting acquainted with each other, but nina naturally probably already knows a lot about him, which really just makes jeff more interested in her 

oh once they actually date for real nina is so happy!!! He’s everything she was hoping for and more!!! the guy of her dreams!!! he’s handsome and protective and cool but also sweet and caring and lets her cuddle up to him!!

Jeff has to come around to the idea first but once they’re dating for real he’s actually really happy too!!! She’s so energetic and sweet. its a much needed brightness to his life, he cant help but kind of fall in love with how affectionate she is. and how absolutely smitten she is with him

at the beginning she is very very clingy, goes everywhere with him,!! and he really does not object. honestly its a bit of an ego boost in addition to how much he really has accidentally fallen for her .

 but she does dial it down after a bit! she’s always just as sweet with him as ever though, as long as he allows it 

she’s actually a tiny bit taller than him, and uses that as an excuse to pick him up a little bit from time to time , which he protests, but she thinks its the cutest thing

she’s a very nurturing type girlfriend, she remembers all the stuff he has to do in a day and is checking in to remember if he’s done it. whenever he’s injured she insists on taking care of him

 EVERYONE notices after they start being together that he’s really cleaned himself up. like he showers regularly??? he’s started brushing his hair??? dressing?? semi-nicely??? he acts the same as ever, he’s just. cleaner. and everyone thinks she’s forcing him to be but actually he’s just started putting more effort in himself to impress his beautiful girlfriend, because he just reasons that she always puts so much care and effort into her appearance he should do, almost the same right?

[someobscurereference]

im very into the 3H hype now as well, but i have missed your FE14 talk more than i can say lmfao! any plot ideas/headcanons/other concepts that have been nagging you lately and that you want to share? (i know i just specified fe14, but 3H is also fine !) if not though thats okay, and i hope you have a nice day! :D

Aw, I missed it too, anon! That was the downside of closing my ask box. I was assured I wouldn’t see any spoilers before I wanted to, but I was sorry to put a hard pause on any cool questions anyone had to ask. I don’t normally have any HCs that I get on my own (since they’re usually tied into the plot of any given fic I’d wanna write and usually not a “this is how I Always with a capital A think about X”), but let’s see about upcoming plots! I’ve left you guys hanging for a little while now.

Mafia AU

Firstly, I’m probably going to be actively working on Mafia AU with @kimium again in the next few days. Holy cow, seriously, she has the patience of a saint with this AU. I could not ask for a more understanding person to be writing that with, because I have not been looking at the Mafia AU or really much writing at all in Forever. Granted, I was very busy with real life stuff and final projects/work as my study abroad was coming to a close, but I probably would have been understandably annoyed if I had to be partnered with myself for that too because I have been So Bad. Like, Very Bad about writing! So thank you, @kimium, for your kindness. You deserve a reward. Seriously.

(Did anyone notice that I wrote less fic when I was in Japan? I sure did! I felt bad about it, but while I loved being there and all my classes and friends, I really had no energy or time for anything that didn’t immediately pertain to university life in some way. My hobbies all got put on a big hold while I was over there. But I’m back now! And am working on making more time for myself for creative outlets!)

Spooky FE14 Fic

Also, I have another FE14 Spooky Horror Fic that’s on the way! With all the FE ships you know I love to write! Probably… somewhere between ½ to ¾ths done? Including blocking for future scenes, I’m at about 37K word count right now. That will go up as I take the blocking and turn it into actual dialogue and narration and stuff, lol. It’ll still be a while before I’m done though. I’ve had this thing sitting in my drafts for literal months and haven’t been able to work on it in a while. But I want to very badly!

I’m trying hard to make this spooky fic different from my previous fics. I don’t want to spoil too much, but I am actively trying to make sure I have a few different dynamics than who I paired up in Dark Things Grew (which you should check out if you like spooky stuff!) and also more getting together than established relationship. Also more, like, having real flaws in relationships and as people? But we’ll see how that works out, haha. It’s my first time writing a lot of things, so it’s a little new to me too. And spooky in the “oh no, what if people don’t it when characters are, like, realistically an asshole?” But I want to to be good! And I think you’ll like it! Or at least some will, haha.

FE3H

I sat down trying to write some FE14 stuff earlier, but I think the 3H bug really bit me because when I tried to write, something just wasn’t clicking right. And I just kept thinking about some of my 3H faves?? So I guess I’m halfway through a short-ish Caspar/Linhardt fic now, lol. (I also have a half-written Raphael/Ignatz in my drafts too, but I don’t know if I like it or not, so we’ll see if I ever come back to it. I’m thinking of that one as a warm-up.)

But it’s been literally a minimum of 2 years since I’ve written something that wasn’t for FE14, so getting to know new characters again is interesting. Normally I like to scan wikis and consume literally everything about a character before I write them so I write them as accurately as possible, but 3H is so new that a lot of that info is really scarce rn! So I’m nervous! But trying!

Also, because you asked about various things and I feel bad just naming upcoming, unfinished fics:

A Few Fic Ideas I Think About Often And Actually Have In A File On My Laptop Titled “FE Fics to Write” (much more on the real list)

Chef/Baker AU Owain! (I also talk to @kimium about this often. But also I know nothing about baking or cooking at all so like??? We’ll see if I ever get this one done, haha.)

AU where Owain (and maybe the others, but this is more Owain focus) is an Android but nobody knows it except him. (Slowburn Leo/Owain/Niles? And also maybe Nina and Forrest are there?? This one is also a little vague but it Haunts me)

I wanna write a fic like this one where Inigo made a deal and the price of Severa and Owain living was their memories except this time around it’s more of the aftermath and a little more magic is involved. Also, Owain/Inigo established relationship but Owain forgot. Also, Owain hates Inigo.

On that same line, I want to write a fic that takes place during the “Owain and Inigo Do Not Get Along” time period of their lives. I always write them as established friendship. But they legit were Not Friends in Awakening for a good part of their friendship. They would die for each other but also shove each other’s faces in the dirt if they could. I want to write that. Also maybe with hate romance.

Established Leo/Nlies Modern AU where Owain is their neighbor/someone they know who they sleep with on the regular. Owain thinks it’s all casual. Is it??? *Eye emoji*Insecure Owain? (maybe tied in with the above? maybe something else? mentioned in another fic I’m writing and I want to explore it more. He so easily has breakdowns in canon when Felicia and Severa call him weird.)

Can u tell I love Owain

Anyway, those are some of my top fic ideas and fic that I’m actively working on atm! I hope they seem appealing to you or anyone else reading this, lol. I’m trying to get back into the swing of things as I go! Definitely always feel free to hit me up with more FE questions anytime though! (Awakening, Fates, 3 Houses–it’s all on the table again!)

Thanks for asking!

[franeridart]

Whats your opinion on the headcanon that bakugou is hard of hearing because of how loud his explosions are? If you dont mind my asking

I think I answered this q on this blog already? Maybe? But anyway, I don’t exactly mind it, but I can’t say I share the headcanon myself - for one, because I’m of the opinion that their bodies are built to withstand a safe use of their quirks (a bit like you can’t break a leg by simply walking, you know), so in general I’m not a fan of headcanons that include damages caused by simply doing what their bodies were born to do? 

But also because generally, even under the assumption that his body isn’t made to hold up with his explosions, isn’t it awfully convenient how only his ears take damage in these scenarios? What about his eyes? How come he can still see with no problems even with the continuous exposure to the explosions’ light? How about his hair? How come he can stand so close to fire without it ever being damaged by it? His palms have thicker skin and we know that thanks to his UA file, but what about the rest of his body? How come he can stand smack in the middle of an Howitzer Impact without getting even slightly burnt? When you say “only his ears aren’t made to withstand his explosions” what you’re telling me is that his whole body is tailord to deal with his quirk but his ears, and that just feels unrealistic to me - by which I mean, when this is the scenario we’re talking about, you can’t give the fault of the damage to Bakugou’s quirk. It’s a problem his body has, not a natural consequence of having that sort of quirk. And imho with those premises you sort of end up with a different kind of story, you’re supposed to write it differently - that’s what I think, at least

Anon said:Maybe the reason Baku raises his voice so often is because he can’t hear very well, which isn’t due to his explosions, rather, he was born with bad hearing to protect him from taking damage by them.. and then his other senses are sharper to even it out, and his body can even subconsciously notice air vibrations, resulting in really fast reflexes.

Ah, this is also another reason why I’m not a huge fan of the headcanon - don’t get me wrong! If you like it then go on, I’m not trying to stop anyone from enjoying ideas and possibilities!! But personally I like Bakugou not having any reason to be loud-mouthed and rude, that’s just his personality and how the environment he grew up in made him, and lately I’ve seen the hc used to justify his behaviour more than I like? Bakugou being an asshole is just who he is, and I love it! I love that his life made him like that and I love that he’s working hard to fix that flaw, giving him an external reason, something he has no control over, to justify his personality changes the core of his character too much, and that’s not something I’d ever want to do tbh

And it’s also cool to think that he was somewhat genetically engineered to be better in a fight to compensate for a lack of earing (though again, why only his ears and not his eyes or his sense of tact too), but that goes to cut on all the hard work he put in becoming as good as he is, right? If that’s what you like than who am I to stop you! But Bakugou’s hardworking nature is one of the things I love about him, I don’t really feel like taking away from him all the effort and work he put through the years in becoming as good as he is now

Anon said: Kiri’s grades suddenly getting sky high after Baku started kissing his cheek for every correct answer

Kirishima: “OKAY NEXT CHAPTER LET’S GO”

Bakugou: “the fuck, no, we’re done, that’s how far we went in cla–”

Kirishima: “GOING A BIT AHEAD CAN’T BE A PROBLEM CAN IT”

Anon said: Kiri is seriously talented at dirt doodles

lmao it’s just stickmen hahaha

Anon said:aww your miri/tama collage is so precious! have you considered doing something like that for kiri/ kami as well? those boys are in desperate need of some love.. totally understand if not! have a wonderful rest of your day/night :3

Uh, well, it’s not like I “haven’t considered” doing it, but more than a collage it’s… just how I always draw? Only usually I cut the pics for each of them to be a different image so they’re easier to see, while yesterday I was too lazy to do that and left them all on the same canvas haha so I guess yeah next time I’ll feel like drawing krkm if you’d like I can leave the drawings all in one pic, that’s just less work for me after all lol

Anon said:Ahhhhhh~ I had had… Such a need for miritama after that chapter and I couldn’t find anything w the right feel or anything and ??? Then you just??? Bless you thank you they look wonderful and so so soft and happy and I’m just !!!

AHHHH!!!! Thank you so much!!!! I’m glad you liked them :O

Anon said:thank you good lord you’re gonna help me get out of the depressive spiral chapter 152 has put me into

BOI ANON DON’T I FEEL YOU it’s why I drew those to being with hahaha

Anon said:DUDE YOUR PINING KIRISHIMA GOT ME DEAD HOLY FUCK SO PURE SO AWESOME 10/10

THANK YOU!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ 

Anon said: I just recently became obsessed with MomoJirou because it’s an incredible ship and I can’t get enough and then you give us these adorable drawings of them? I cry

Anon said:fran….your girls…… they’re so good……..

Anon said:I love how you drew Momo 😍

Anon said:FRAN THANK YOU FOR THE MOMOJIROU CONTENT I LOVE IT I LIVE FOR IT I HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF MOMOJIROU FOR SO LONG AND NOW I CAN SEE SOME BEAUTIFUL ART OF THEM IN YOUR STYLE WHICH MAKES IT TEN TIMES BETTER THANK YOU

AAAAHHHHHHHHH BOI THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I’m ??? so glad you guys liked them???? Momo is so hard to get a grasp on for me, it makes me happy to know I did her right!!!!

Anon said:What do you think about futakuchi? xox

He’s my fav in Dateko!!!! Also one of my two biggest #same in Haikyuu haha (the other’s Kuroo lol)

Anon said: I haven’t seen semi on your blog for a while? ;)

That’s 100% most probably because there hasn’t been any haikyuu on my blog for a while, I’d say :O

Anon said:You keep drawing… So many soft things I’m in love… momojirou is so sweet it cleared my skin (and !!! I know you said you have no idea how to draw her but she looks wonderful and I loved it!!) And pining Kiri his face at the end??? Saved me. And STUDY DATE I CAN’T FORGET tbh baku looked so good esp the way you drew him kiri I Understand. Anyways you’re a blessing and I hope you have a lovely day!!!

God anon….. you just go……….. and slay me like this……. how am I supposed to deal………………………. (ilu)

Anon said:Does the Octopus Team still exist? I was scrolling through Shouji tags and saw the art.

I’m not sure what this ask means :O like, are you asking me if I’ll ever draw them together again? Because tbh that one doodle sort of just… happened while I was doing something else……… oops….

Anon said:Is it just me or are you getting more and more notes a lot quicker? Bc congrats my friend

:O thanks!!! But to be fair I think more than on my art this is mostly on the Bakushima becoming a much more popular ship, lately! The anime will do that haha

Anon said: I literally check your blog multiple times every day to see if you’ve posted anything new, your art just makes me so happy??? Like it could literally be bakugou as an orange and kirishima as a strawberry and I would reblog it faster than lightning and stare at it for five mins. Your style is just so nice and it like…. flows well?? Is really clean??? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT MY DUDE but BASICALLY i love everything you do and thanks for blessing us with all the cute kiribakus and bokuroo :))

sob thank you ;O; so much ;O; holy shit ;O; ;O;

Anon said:So I’m new to the BNHA fandom and you’re probably the first artist I stumbled across but I am HOOKED. I love your bakushima A LOT and your headcanons are so perfect I get so hype when I see them on my dashboard *v* Do you ever think about what would happen if Bakugou’s family found out about his new relationship? Do you think they would love Kirishima? (Of course they would it’s impossible not to). I imagine that would be an interesting scenario!!

I’m 100% sure Mitsuki would be like “HOW THE FUCK did you manage to get such a nice kid to like you” but when we’re being honest Masaru is a super sweet man married with a firecracker too so does she have any right to talk? Nope, she does not 

And thank you so much for the compliments!!!! :O this fandom is super full of talented and nice people, I hope you’ll have a great time in it!

Anon said:Dude like mate honey love bunch bro man,,,,, YOUR FR*CKING ART!!!! SO H*CKING GOOD???? BAKUKIRI (cries because I love them so f*dging much) LOOK SO GOOD IN YOUR ART STYLE? SO PURE! WHOLESOME!!! I just went through your art tag for the last hour and I love everything. Kirishima is my FAVE I LOVE HIM!!!$ and the Baku squad mm mmmmmm good shiz right there. AND YUUJIIIIII AND BOKKUROOOOO AND THE VOLTRON AU!!!! Honestly we have such similar tastes ah. Anyway I’m running out of words love you fran xox

HOLY HECK I LOVE YOU A LOT TOO ANON!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Kirishima and bakugo furiously (not mad just intense) making out I know what your thinking but please give it a try

I mean the idea isn’t something I mind at all, but drawing this sort of things requires a specific mood for me which isn’t easy to come by and more often then not when I do draw that sorta stuff I don’t finish nor post it? So in general that’s not the type of things I’ll draw as a suggestion, sorry orz

Anon said: Whenever I see a new post from you but it’s reblogged I immediately go to your original post so I can read your tags. I love them so much!

Heck !!!!! I’m glad you enjoy my nonsense? hahaha

Anon said:*whispers* hey hey…. kiribaku hide and seek got any thoughts on that

Are you asking about one against the other or hiding together? …either way I can only see that ending in disaster and explosions ngl lol

Anon said:It came to my mind after reading your last comic that Baku usually dresses up pretty nice¿? Its canon that his family works for the fashion industry and his costume is SO EXTRA™, we never really see him in cringey or weird clothing (please correct me if I’m wrong (?)) but I still like the idea of him having lots of skull/punk tees and struggling to find normal stuff lol

Wouldn’t call them cringey or weird, but it is canon that every time we’ve seen him out of his costume/uniform in the manga he’s worn either plain black tees/tank tops or t-shirts with skulls on them :O that’s actually his canon style, I wasn’t taking a wild guess back there haha

Anon said:I miss your art on my feed on the days you don’t art. So I scroll through your old posts whenever that happens. (This is not a plea or pressure for you to do anything more often btw. You make so much amazing art and contribute so much to this fandom. I love going back and looking at all your art. We are not worthy!) I literally can’t think about Kiribaku and the Bakusquad without thinking of your art.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!! Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;O; 

Anon said:Cons of Kirishima being the protagonist of MHA: He would constantly be hurting himself and making us as the audience suffer in the worst way. Pros: if the recent chapters are anything to go by, he would be /very very pretty/ by now due to how much he’s been beaten up

I still prefer him healthy and happy tho ｡ﾟ(*´□`)ﾟ｡ once in a hospital bed is enough for me //sob

Anon said:I can’t describe how happy these deathstar doodles made me?? Your art is top notch as always but you drawing one of my all time favorite ships when there’s so little content for them gave me strenght for the next 57 years, thank you sm!!! And have a good day!!

Anon said:Ahhh you have no idea how much of a blessing it is to see deathstar in your artttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!! I love you so muchhhhhh!!!

I’M!!! HAPPY!!! YOU GUYS LIKED THOSE!!!!! I never understood why there was so little content for them tbh, like??? Okay the anime didn’t reach any of The Good Stuff for them and most fans never read the manga, but the manga makes them such an obvious ship?? So good so right so healthy and supportive and beautiful b o y rereading that manga gave me a lot of feelings bless the two of them ｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡

Anon said:Oh my god, I was just looking through like all your art and I realized how much you’ve improved. Like oh my god you’re fantastic, all your art looks so great. I mean this as a compliment and that’s you’ve improved a lot and you’re so great. ❤️❤️

THANK YOU OH BOY (●´□`)♡ this means…………….so much…………. gahh

Anon said:i got so busy with college apps and entrance exams that I stopped watching the anime around the intern time and I stopped reading the manga around about the time sun eater faces off against those guys. man I have so much to catch up on but I still don’t have much time at all. all I know is Mirio is being an angel and I’m at peace with that.

Mirio………… is such a good boy……………….. he deserves so much more…………….. so much better………………….. o

[my-mystic-messenger]

HC (rfa+saeran) of MC being a huge troublemaker(like with the law and/or entire countries), or in a violent gang of some sort? thxxx

Okay so I had a lot of fun writing this, so as I do I went a little overboard with it. Also, the amount of research I did for this is crazy AND if the FBI is checking my browser history they now think that I am a drug cartel running serial killer looking for a hitman to hire. Great…anyway, I hope you enjoy. Also: this is only  || PART 1 || and here you have || PART 2 ||Anyway: 

Masterlist 

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS) OPEN!! ||

♬Zen♬

Settling down with Zen hadbeen astonishingly easy. For one, he was extremely devoted toeverything he did, be it his work or his relationship to you. Younever had to worry about him ever doing anything that would betrayyour trust in him. Considering your profession and background thatwas the key. Something that also helped was his devotion to his work.Most people would have complained about the irregular and longworking hours, but for you they were a blessing. It made hiding whatyou did to get by a lot easier. He was never home, so you never hadto explain where you went!

It wasn’t like you wantedto keep it a secret, really. By doing so you weren’t helping yourselfbut him. You weren’t exactly sure how the show biz worked, but if hisagents weren’t fine with him dating a commoner you were quite surethey might suffer an aneurysm upon finding out that you and yourbiker gang basically ran multiple drug cartels. Keeping it a secretmeant protecting him. Plus, he was always so happy when you didn’tcomplain about not being able to go public, thinking you were sounderstanding when in reality it was in your interest to remain onthe down low as much as his.

For the most part keepingit a secret was easy. When he asked you about work you just told himyou worked in import and export of goods. It wasn’t a lie, just aselective truth. The drugs never came into your home and you didn’ttake them yourself, you only made a lot of money off of them. Sure,sometimes you had pangs of conscience about the poor souls you soldthe shit to, but then again it was hardly your fault that people wereweak enough to get addicted. It’s not like six-year-old you haddreamed about selling crack to junkies, but sometimes life happenedand you had to suck it up.

It was when one of yourmain smugglers was shot during a gang fight that things became alittle more complicated. All of your guys were out of the countrywhich meant you had to take care of certain dirty work. The guy hadmanaged to hide the stuff, but you knew better than to trust it wassafely stored until some of your other men returned to collect it.Everyone in the business had their eyes and ears all over the world,which meant you had to do something and you had to do it quick. Thedrugs had to be picked up and stored somewhere they’d be safe andprotected. Really, there was only one option.

Making sure that Zenwouldn’t be home at the same time as you you’d hopped on your bikeand driven to the given location. Obviously it wasn’t like you couldjust walk in, get the suitcase full of crystallized LSD and walk outlike a walk in the park. You could sell a single gram of that stufffor 3000$ counting and you had an entire suitcase full of that shit.People were quite literally ready to kill for that amount of high enddrugs. This time you were on the receiving end of a bullet treatment.Before you knew the shooting had started and you had to flee thescene.

You had your own weapon,but your priority was the suitcase and really there was no time topull it. You were outnumbered as well, so you ran out, willing awaythe pain you felt at the hits you took. Luckily only two bulletsactually hit you, one of which merely gazed your shoulder, the otherwent straight to your lower back. Still, you kept running, jumped onyour bike and drove off as fast as humanly possible. Your initialplan had been to hide them somewhere else, but you found yourselfriding home. You needed to take care of your wounds and clear yourhead before proceeding.

The only problem was thatapparently Zen had planned to surprise you. So when you dragged yourbody into the apartment with the most expensive drugs on the marketin tow you weren’t alone. Instead you were greeted with the smell ofyour favourite dish being prepared a happily singing Zen. You’d beentoo out of it to retreat and that is when he’d turned around andtaken in your disheveled shape. You were covered in dirts, cuts andbleeding from not one but two bullet wounds. Needless to say he had alot of questions. “What the fuck happened?! Oh my God, we need tocall an ambulance!”

As he ran to the phone youran towards him, tackling him. “No! Zen, calm down. You need tolisten to me and you need to understand what I’m telling you.” Hedidn’t calm immediately, insisting to at least clean and patch upyour wounds before even letting you speak. With his background youweren’t surprised that he remained calm or that he knew how to patchup a bullet wound, really. “What’s in the suitcase”, he asked,voice calm and unwavering. “Expensive as fuck LSD”, youexplained, chuckling to lighten the mood only to groan with pain whenyour body reminded you of the state you were in.

Zen sighed, shaking hishead. “I can’t judge you nor will I preach to you about how whatyou’re doing is wrong. I’ve been there myself, but I know for a factthat there are other options”, he said and you couldn’t help butroll your eyes. “My parents are dead, I never finished high schooland I don’t have a talent for anything other than this. I reallydon’t have other options.” Zen met your eyes, obviously annoyed,and flicked your forehead. “Look at you. Money is not worth dyingfor.” You snorted. “Oh please, my bike looks worse. Anyway, can Istash the drugs here?” He shrugged and merely kissed.

★Yoosung★

When you’d first starteddating Yoosung most people in your life had been more than a littlebewildered by your choice in partner. Where you were mature, he waschildish. Your calm was met by his overly excited personality andeven your interest seemed to clash. On top of that everyone felt likeyou were more like a caretaker to him than he was a boyfriend to youand they could not fathom while a woman like you would stoop down tosuch a level by dating a man-child like him. In short, he could notcompare to your caliber and yet the two of you seemed to magicallywork somehow.

What most people didn’tunderstand – couldn’t, as it was a part of your personality andlife you never shared – was your love for everything innocent andif Yoosung was one thing than it was innocent. He practicallyradiated it for the entire world to sense and it drew you in like amoth to the flame. His endless naivety you found charming and his‘flaw’ of getting too attached and dependent on the women in his lifewas something you thoroughly enjoyed. He basically gave up allcontrol for you to take. Your word was quite literally his demand.Frankly, you wondered why other people didn’t see the appeal.

On top of that he neverpushed for anything. You knew for a fact that you were his firstkiss, his first girlfriend and his sexual experience. You were theonly human being that had ever laid hands on him and if that wasn’t apleasant thought you didn’t know what else to tell those people. Hewas yours and yours completely. He was also considerate, sweet andattentive without pushing you. He never demanded sex. He nevercornered you. He never forced you to things you didn’t want to do.Especially things based on stereotypes like cleaning and cooking. Hemade you feel free, compared to others.

It was precisely thatfeeling that allowed you to open up about yourself. Out of all thepeople you’d had in your life you were sure that he would understandyou. Still, obviously you didn’t overwhelm him with your personalityand needs, so you turned your confession into a longer process. Itstarted with little, subtle hints. You told him that if you could,you would kill certain people, but he brushed it off as an emptyphrase. When you disappeared out at night a lot and he asked you whatyou were doing you told him you were cleansing the streets ofdisgusting men. He took it as a joke.

After that you continuedbut with a little more obviousness. You wanted him to realize ithimself, so you had to be obvious enough, but still make sure thatthe other RFA members didn’t get what you were trying to confess. Youstarted being reckless about hiding your bloody knifes or left bloodstains in your clothes, but Yoosung never reacted to any of those,completely oblivious it seemed. You reckoned that hints just weren’tenough, not with him. He was just too innocent and too pure. You alsofigured that there was a certain layer of denial within him you hadto break through. Well, there goes nothing!

It was a normal, sunny daywhen you finally took the last step into opening up about who youreally were. When Yoosung came home from work in the evening yougreeted him with a sight he would never forget. The majority of theliving room floor was covered by tarp, amidst of it a lonely chairwith a man tied to it. A rope tied his legs to the chair while hisarms were bound behind his back with what looked like cable ties. Hewas gagged but not blindfolded, as you weren’t scared of him seeingyou. It’s not like he would ever get to tell the tale, so you weresafe in that regard.

Yoosung froze, eyeswidening as he took in the scene. He quickly slammed the door shutand covered his mouth so he wouldn’t scream. When he looked to youthere was a bright grin on your face. Your wore an apron and latexgloves and from that and the knife you yielded in your handeffortlessly he deduced it wasn’t you who was in danger. “Surprise”,you called like you’d planned some kind of birthday party for him. Hestarted to shiver, eyes snapping between you and the man who wasobviously trying to, but because of the gag incapable of, ask Yoosungfor help.

“W-What…what is this”,he asked, voice shaking. Your smile was replaced by a pout. “Thisis me”, you said. “I’m bearing all of me to you. Don’t you wantto get to know all of me, Yoosung?” Strangely enough, he did. Hewanted to know all of you no matter how much it frightened him. “Areyou…will you kill this man?” You beamed again and nodded. “Yes,I will. Right here so you can watch me do it. Men like him deserve todie. They approach me all the time, talk to me like dirt and touch meinappropriately. This one actually tried to rape me”, youexplained, knife tracing the mans skin.

Yoosung watched you cutthe man apart, piece by piece. Watched you as you drained him ofevery last drop of blood. He was torn between disgust andfascination, incapable of averting his eyes. He watched as of allcolour left his body and then saw the light in his eyes flicked andfaint. Dead. “Why did you show me this”, he asked, astounded byhow calm he remained in the face of this. You grinned, walking overthe dead body like it was dirt to get to Yoosung. You were so closehe could feel your hot breath ghost over his cheeks as you whispered:“Because I want you to join me, my knight in shining armour.”

♨Jaehee♨

It had been your free day,so you’d decided to use your time productively and go to the grocerystore. Your fridge had been gradually getting emptier and afterstuffing your faces with cakes and pastry all day it was about timeJaehee and you finally ate something healthy again. You knew all herfavourite dishes and with those in mind you got everything you neededto prepare them. It had been a while since your last proper date,actually. Most people thought that once you live and work togetherdating is no longer necessary, but you kindly disagreed. One shouldalways show appreciation!With two heavy bags in hand you’dentered the apartment, humming to some tune stuck in your head. You’dtossed your keys into the bowl next to the door and kicked it shut,careful not to be too loud. You’d been so eager to get started as youcarried the groceries to the kitchen only to stop in your tracks whenyou saw the figure leaning against the table, looking at the knife inhis hands with the kind of interest you knew would turn out to bedangerous for you. He looked up then, grinning at you from ear toear. You should have been frightened and yet you found yourselfdeadly calm.

“What are you doinghere, Nam-Il”, you asked as you put down the bags and started tounload them, not paying the man a lot of attention. “I came to getyou, obviously”, he replied. You didn’t turn around to look at him,but you could feel his eyes tracking your every move. “I think Imade it quite obvious that I have no intention of being with you,Nam. I am not yours to take.” You’d just finished gettingeverything out of the bag when you heard the quiet steps behind you.You spun around quickly, hands tightened around the knife you’dgrabbed. Your blade poked at his stomach, his was at your throat.

He grinned at you,obviously amused. “As fierce as ever I see. I missed you, babe.”You growled at him angrily, poking a little harder to let him feelthe blade properly. “I wish I could say the same.” It wasobviously that moment that Jaehee chose to enter the apartment andcome to the kitchen. All three of you were frozen until she startedto scream. You and Nam lowered your knives and put them awayrespectively, but didn’t stop glaring at one another. “Jaehee,babe, please calm down”, you told her, demeanour instantlysoftening the second she was the one addressed.

“Calm down?! This manwas in the news! He’s a from that mafia gang Hwan Song Sung Pa andjust bought his way out of prison despite getting a life longsentence and I get home to you having his knife at your throat andyou tell me to calm?!” Well, when she put it that way, her reactioncertainly made more sense than your suggestion. “I know this mightseem really bad to you, but don’t worry. He’d never hurt me.”Jaehee whimpered. “And how do you know that?” Nam snorted,crossing his arms over his chest. “Because she is my wife and I’dnever hurt her…much.”

The answer obviously floored Jaeheefrom the way her face fell and body sagged with utter defeat. Youglowered at Nam. “I haven’t been your wife since your dumb assdecided to get caught killing a man earning yourself a life-longsentence in prison”, you snapped at him. He just grinned andshrugged. “Well I am back now, am I not? Come on, babe, you knowthis kind of life isn’t for you. When the guys told me you wereplaying relationship with another chick I told them to leave youalone, because I was sure that you would realize that you aren’t cutout for this kind of boring bullshit.”“Just shut the fuckup, will you”, you snapped at him, holding back as to not slap him.“Just leave, Nam. You’re scaring my girlfriend. We can talk aboutthis another time. I have enough explaining to do as it is. I don’tneed your dumb ass making the situation worse.” You wereexasperated and exhausted at the same time. Luckily he didn’tprotest. He merely pressed a kiss to your cheek, something youdecided to allow despite your past together, and left. You leanedagainst the counter, head hanging low. So your good for nothinghusband was out and about and your girlfriend was having abreakdown.“Y-Your husband?!” You turned to look at her,apologetic and tired. “It was an arranged marriage of convenience.My father used to work with his people and Nam got obsessed with me.Thinking that I would take over his business my father married beoff, so Nam and I could rule the ‘underworld’ together. It didn’twork out. I hated that life so I ran away and he got locked up.”Jaehee nodded, still in obvious shock. “Do you…love me?” Youreyes widened, heart breaking. “Of course I love you! I love ourcafé, I love our apartment and I love our domestic life. I wouldn’tchange it for the world.”

Jaehee started to crythen, tears running down her cheeks in streams like you’d never seenthem before. You instantly jumped into motion, running towards her topull her into your arms, do everything in your power to calm herdown. She shook in your arms, crying so badly in shook your wholeworld apart. “I am so sorry I out you through this. So, so sorry”,you whispered into her ear, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Ipromise I’ll take care of it and then you’ll never have to see me orNam ever again.” She shook her head. “No, don’t leave me!” Soagainst your better judgement you stayed.

♛Jumin♛

Despite getting marriedvery quickly the two of you were going strong even years into yourrelationship. Despite a meticulous daily routine that to most wouldseem caging and tiring the romance and lust never quite died down. Infact, with every passing day it seemed to get more and more intense.The need to be close to one another all the time grew to the pointwhere Jumin offered you the position as his Chief Assistant just sohe could have you around all day long. Logically he knew that therewere possibly more qualified people for the job, but his heart alwaysbeat his mind when it came to you.

His need to be with youwas very well reflected in you as well, which lead you to accept theoffer without a second thought. At that time you’d been married forabout two months. Everyone had advised you against it, stating thatcouples who both lived and worked together were doomed to fail. Thetwo of you proved them wrong. Not only did the two of you avoid anykind of fights or fallouts, you also turned out a far better additionto the company than most people had assumed. You knew how to handlethe finances better than Jumin’s and when you were in a meeting youusually ran the show.

Everything had been so peaceful andperfect you’d allowed yourself to relax, let your guards down. It wasa stupid mistake. Being the person you were with the background youhad you could never allow yourself such luxury and life loved toremind you of that. You’d been in the middle of eating dinner withJumin, soft music playing in the background as you smiled at oneanother while enjoying yet another perfect meal. That is when hisphone chimed with a call that would shake apart your idyllic routinein the matter of minutes, a call you’d expected as much as you’dsuppressed it.

He’d excused himself fromthe table, apologizing for having to take the call and telling youhe’d be right back. Even with the door to the office closed you couldhear him talk angrily, catching enough glimpses of the conversationto put two and two together. “What the hell kind of interest couldChil Sung Pa possibly have in our company”, you heard him asked,obviously aggravated. Your heart had sunk upon hearing the familiarname, hairs standing up as your body froze in position. You listenedto the rest of the conversation and yet you barely registeredanything out of pure shock.

By the time he left theoffice the food had grown cold and so had Jumin. He was tense andnervous, walking up and down the flat while brushing through hishair. You’d never seen him like that and yet you weren’t surprised.The Korean mafia wasn’t to be taken lightly, you knew that betterthan anyone. For a couple of minutes you let him pace around, walkoff some of the pent up energy that must have been buzzing throughhis body. Once he’d sunken down on the couch, hands in a prayer likeposition pressed to his lips as he deeply contemplated what the bestthing was to do.

You sat beside him,wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pressing a kiss to histemple. Surprisingly he melted into the touch soon, actually leaningagainst you with a sigh, body relaxing soon. “Apparently Chil SungPa is trying to either buy our company or set on destroying it. Idon’t understand where their sudden interest is coming from, but if Idon’t find a solution soon we might find ourselves losing thecompany”, he explained, looking at you with an expression you couldhardly put into words. He looked like a child lost somewhere withouthope of returning. It broke your heart.

“Listen, why don’t youlet me handle this one? I think you might be a little too emotionallyinvolved. I mean you have dedicated your entire life to this companyso the possibility of you losing it might make you too irrational.Those kind of people can sniff out even the slightest insecurity likea blood hound and they’ll use it against you. I’ll keep my cool andI’ll manage to convince them to back off, no problem.” You weregrateful that Jumin agreed without much hesitation, because it meanthe hadn’t even questioned why you knew how Chil Sung Pa workedexactly.

When the next morning cameyou met up with one of the representatives that had been send to theC&R International building to discuss the future of the company.Despite the protests of your co-workers no one but you was allowed inthat particular meeting, not even Jumin or Mr. Han himself. You knewit was for the best that way. The meeting didn’t last long, twentyminutes at most. When you left the office it was the clan member thatheld open the door for you as you confidently strode out of the room.He bowed deeply to you, seemingly scared, before practicallyscrambling away.

“They withdrew theirattack on C&R”, you announced, an audible gasp going throughthe rows of workers that had gathered. “How?” It was such asimple question and yet it was difficult to answer. “Because myfather is the head of Chil Sung Pa which makes me the heir to hisempire and he knows better than to mess with my life and business.”Needless to say it left people flabbergasted, surprised and scared.“You are the daughter of a mafia mogul”, Jumin asked. Youshrugged and smiled at him apologetically. “Right when I thought mywife could not get any more interesting…”

☼Saeyoung/Seven☼

Thetwo of you had been peacefully sitting on the couch, Saeyoung typingaway on his laptop while you read your book when you heard themovement around the apartment. The last couple of years had beendomestic bliss for the both of you, but you’d known better than tofully settle as your past always found a way to come back to bite youin the ass. You instantly put down the cup of tea you’d been sippingon and the book, before shutting Saeyoung’s laptop and covering hismouth. “Go to your work room and lock yourself in. Don’t come outbefore I tell you to”, you whispered into your husbands ear.

Without much time to actyou’d gripped his wrist and dragged him off, pushing him into hisbunker-like work room and shut the door behind him. After that youhad to act incredibly fast, quickly running through the basementapartment that you knew was no infiltrated by some of your formercolleagues. Or at least you thought they were colleagues, the linebetween friends and enemy’s had always been blurred during your yearsat your old agency. Luckily, you’d always slept with an eye open,running to gather up the weapons you’d hid all over the apartment inpreparation for this exact situation.

You were the first oneto come out of hiding, showing yourself in order to spark what wasunavoidable at this point: A shooting. “I expected you to show upmuch sooner”, you’d called mockingly. “Did you guys grow soft onme? Wanted me to have some happy ever after for a while beforeblowing my brains out? How nice, but the game is over now. Come onout now, wherever you are.” The fight that followed was brutal. Youshot at least five men, the others you were forced to kill in a moredirect manner. One after the other fell until you were the only oneleft standing.  

When Saeyoung emerged fromhis room he did so to a bloodbath, corpses lying scattered aroundwhat you’d called home for the past couple of years. You said amidstthem, holding onto your stomach where one of them had managed to stabyou. Without turning to look at him you said: “I didn’t come to getyou yet. Disobedience can cost you your life, you know? I wouldknow…” Saeyoung stood frozen by the door, taking the scene in ashis mind seemed to fail processing half of the thoughts he wasthinking, let alone the things he was feeling. Who was the personhe’d called his wife?

“What organization doyou work for?” You chuckled bitterly, turning around to look atSaeyoung, blood still gushing from your wound. “Does it matter?After the stunt they pulled today I’ll make sure the organizationwon’t exist for much longer.” He’d fallen in love with an illusion,Saeyoung realized as he heard a bitterness in your voice he’d neverheard before. “I am seriously surprised to see you this shocked,agent 707. All this time I was so sure you knew who I was but choseto ignore it in favour of domestic bliss but from that expressionright there I can tell you really didn’t. What a plottwist.”

The sweet, innocent girlhe’d married was gone, Saeyoung knew. Then again, could something begone when it hadn’t been there to begin with? Still, he felt drawn toyou, incapable of staying away. He stepped towards you, inspectedyour wound before going to get a first aid kid to patch it up atleast to some extend. You could only laugh. “Why are you doingthis? Everything was a lie. Did you really think a normal personcould love you? Stick by your side despite everything you put themthrough? I was sent by my agency to kill you! Do you still think thatyou’re the dangerous one?”

Despite your harsh wordsSaeyoung didn’t stop tending to your wound, if anything his touchbecame lighter and even more gentle than before. He cleaned it andstitched it up to the best of his abilities without saying a word.Only when he was done did he look up, meeting your eyes and nodded.“Yes, because I made someone like you fall in love with someonelike me.” Your harsh facade broke, tears springing to your eyes atthe broken way he said those words, like he was still unbelieving ofthe fact that anyone in this world could love him. How could think solittle of himself still?

You wrapped your arms around him,burying your fingers in his soft hair while brushing up and down hisback soothingly. “You are good, Saeyoung. If anyone deservessomeone better it’s you”, you whispered gently. He quicklyuntangled himself from you, looking at you with such desperation inhis eyes it ripped at your heart. “Please don’t leave me”, hebegged you. “I don’t care about what went down here today. I knowyou are more than the mistakes you’ve made…as you taught me muchthe same. The problems of your past are your business. The problemsof your future are my privilege.”

And he meant every lastword. At first you thought about saying no, pushing him away andleaving like you knew you should have done, but you found yourselfincapable of doing so. You loved this broken man before you and you’dfinally found someone who loved you just as much in return despiteseeing the cracks in the glass. How could you ever let go of someonelike that? You nodded and kissed, sealing the deal amidst of thedanger literally surrounding you. After that the two of you wordlessgot up, got rid of all the bodies and blood and by the time Saeranreturned him, nothing had ever happened.

☀Saeran☀

You’d never imagined thatyou’d ever be able to fully and completely separate your private lifefrom your profession, but with Saeran by your side you’d finallyfound some sort of peace. Life wasn’t always perfect – it got messyand exhausting at times – but those were the things that made itinteresting. Both of you were fundamentally damaged people, butwithin all the darkness and pain in your respective hearts you’dsomehow fund a spot for the other person to call their own and aninteresting relationship had blossomed as the result of that.

At first the two of youwere desperately trying to avoid a relationship and each of you had alot of rather valid reasons for doing so. Saeran was broken from theinside out and in no way fit to care for another person in the statehe was in that didn’t even allow him to care for himself. You, on theother hand, couldn’t allow yourself any permanent ties to the mundaneworld thanks to the profession you called your own. You’d learnedfrom the mistakes of your predecessor and had no desire to dragsomeone into the messes you made along the way. Let alone some dearto your heart…like Saeran.

Somehow the attraction youhad for one another defeated all reason, however, and the two of youfound yourself in a messy and yet strangely perfect relationship. Youconstantly gave each other shit and fights were a given and yet youmade one another better. After a certain time things just clickedinto place and you were truly and undeniably happy. So much so, youwere convinced things would stay that way. You’d been sure that you’dkeep on dragging his ass to therapy while he’d remind you to takesome steps back and enjoy small things in life, like clouds in aclear, blue sky. You were wrong.

About two years into yourrelationship with Saeran your questionable background finally caughtup to you. You’d expected it, but not quite as soon. You were onevery wanted list from the National Intelligence Service to theSupreme Prosecutors’ Office of the Republic of Korea. You had a priceon your head and you were unwilling to let Saeran pay it. Luckilythis particular matter was not shared with the media, which meantthat at least you didn’t have mugshots of you plastered on every wallin Korea. It gave you the chance of a clean sleight. Pack your stuffand disappear without a trace.

Everything had beenperfectly planned on your part. Your things were either packed ordestroyed, your traces were evaporated and you’d made it impossiblefor anyone to track or trace your moves. All that was left to do wastake your stuff and leave. It would have been so easy, had you notunderestimated your boyfriends involvement in the down world. You’djust swung your bag over your shoulder, ready to leave, when hestopped you in his tracks by leaning against the doorframe, armscrossed and a disapproving expression on his face. “I cannotbelieve that you’d actually leave me like that. Harsh.”

“Saeran, listen, it’snot like that I can -”, he silenced you then by merely raising hishand. “Explain? You don’t need to. Codename: MC. Profession: Hitmanand Whistleblower. Hit-Rate: 100%. Prices per hit start at 20.000$ asyou work internationally and your job as a blower earns you about500.000$ per case as you work in groups of maximum three blowers atthe time to earn as much as possible”, he recited all your infolike a poem he’d learned off by heart. Your shoulders sagged, bagfalling to the floor as he grinned at you. “Did you really think Ididn’t know?”

You honestly couldn’tbelieve that all this time he knew of your shady doings and saidabsolutely nothing. You closed the distance between the two of youand started punching at his chest, causing him to break out laughing.“You goddamn asshole! I was carrying the guilt of keeping it asecret every single day and you knew all along! I can’t believe you”,you half scolded, half laughed. He caught your hands eventually,holding them together and raising them to his lips to press a kiss toyour skin. “Well, that is the price you pay for keeping it a secretin the first place.”

You probably should havebeen more concerned about the fact that your boyfriend wasn’t evenmildly concerned with the fact that you were basically a murdererrather than the fact he’d teased you with having known all along, butfrankly there wasn’t a single care in you. “I am also mad that Ihad to pay for all our dinners. I mean look at the fucking money youmake. Don’t expect me to treat you to anything ever again”, hejoked and however inappropriate it might have been to say suchthings, you burst out laughing. “Fair enough, I guess. Then again,I do work hard for that money.”

His lips curled into awicked grin, eyes shining with something dark and mischievous. “Ifthey caught you, you still have a lot to learn.” Just from the wayhe said it a hot shiver ran down your body and you moved closer,returning that very same grin. “And I presume that you’re going toteach me?” As you spoke your lips were almost touching, so closeyou could feel the proximity. Instead of replying Saeran merelypulled you closer, nails digging into your hips as he pushed you upagainst the wall. He claimed your lips with a kiss then, hard,passionate and bruising.

[hejer-maomao]

Hewwo I am back and am asking to see if I am request again. Can I get Luka and Edgar with a insecure s/o who doesn't really like herself? uwu

Hewwo! (Oh my, your greeting is so cute) Of course you are welcome to request again ❤

This ask is just too pure for words! It also strikes a sensitive cord in my heart as well, as I personally struggled a lot with self-hate and insecurity for a long, long time, and I have only started to learn how to love myself very recently.

It’s a tough, extremely exhausting, and painful  process and I hope that all of us, who do not really like themselves now, will slowly grow to appreciate the amazing people we all are.

Enough with my sappy talk, let’s get started!

Luka:

Luka does not get it at all at the start.

It’s not that he’s denying your heartfelt feelings nor carelessly brushing them aside after you gathered all of your courage to confess them to him. Luka simply does not get why such a beautiful soul like you would not like herself. It is beyond his capacities to understand.

He honestly believes that you’re so strong, so brave and simply so gorgeous, inside out. None of the flaws you’re mentioning seem to even matter to him. Luka Clemence loves you. The messy you, the tired you, the happy you, the sad you. He loves the you who jumps excitedly at the promise of chocolate, and the you who cries her heart out if a dog dies in a random movie. He is helplessly, and utterly in love with the you who hides under her soft covers after a bad day, and the you who sometimes forces herself to fake a smile in front of others just not to worry them. Luka just loves you, every part of you, every inch of your body that you like and the inches that you hate, your kind smile as well as your scars marks, now and forever.

Everything about you is so warm and soothing and Luka desperately wants to lend you his own eyes, so you can see the incredible woman who managed to heal his heart and fill the void in his soul. Maybe then you would be able to love yourself just as much as he loves you.

And just the same way you saved him before, Luka decides it is his turn to firmly stand by your side and help you take baby steps into healing. His calm, reassuring presence giving you courage as a constant reminder of his unchangeable love for you.

He will never pressure you into faking self-love, nor insist that you’re perfectly fine or that you’re just exaggerating. No, no. Luka will continue to shower you with his affection and love, in his own quiet way, hoping that one day you will wake up in the morning by his side, sleepily trudge your way to the bathroom and finally find it in yourself to smile at your reflection in the mirror. Because you are fine just the way you are.

But it is only up to you to believe that or not.

Edgar:

Edgar Bright is no stranger to self-loathing.

He knows, more than anyone, how hard it is to open your eyes in the morning and feel completely empty. He knows how painful it is to look at yourself in the mirror and feel nothing but pure, raw hatred for every inch of your body. He knows how tedious it is to try and convince your mind over and over again that self hate won’t lead you anywhere.

Edgar knows all of this and maybe even a little bit more.

He has spent years hating himself, hating his blood-soaked hands, hating his fake smile and pretentious gestures and hating how uselessly  obedient he is. And more than anything, Edgar knows how this hate just keeps on piling up inside your soul, ripping at your heart, spreading darkness between the cracks of your ribs, and eventually ravaging your entire being. 

So Edgar will patiently wait for you. He will wait and wait and wait even more while showering you with compliments each morning, pepper kisses all over your stomach and thighs after you’re done making love, making sure to loudly vocalize his deep adoration for every part of you, whether you thought it to be ugly or not. Because Edgar simply loves you. He’ll try to encourage you to go bold with your clothes, yes wear that crimson skirt, get that backless dress from your closet, and forget about what others think of you! Edgar will repeatedly tell you, voice crystal clear, that you should have confidence in your beautifully crafted body, and strut your way into the world, regardless of anyone’s opinion.

Edgar will also be there when everything is simply not working. He will pull you into his tightest embrace and wrap his arms around your waist, as you sob your heart out and blabber how pathetic you feel, how useless you are, and how just not enough you consider yourself to be.

Edgar will then softly kiss your eyelids, gently wipe away your tears and whisper in his soothing voice that you are always enough, that you are worth everything in this world. You are worth fighting for, dying for and living for.

‘You are so loved’ Edgar softly murmurs in your ear as you doze off in his arms.

So guess who’s finally back after two weeks of absence? 

Last week has been an utter nightmare you guys! My laptop was broken, my university is trying to kill me with more force than usual, and I’m feeling quite sick once again.

I hope these very simple and average HCs will somehow make the requester and anyone who reads them feel the tiniest bit better about themselves. 

Just remember, there’s absolutely no need to push yourselves too hard! Just take one step at a time, and do not give up on healing just because it is slow.

After all, storms never last! And after the rain, always comes the sun ❤

My Ask Box is still open for the moment, but I’m thinking of closing it quite soon, since unanswered asks are slowly piling up, so make sure to send in your requests now! I’m looking forward to your asks!