#i hope it'll do ok in transit

[rustfoxes]

My mum bought me a tiny one leaf cutting of a monstera albo variegata as a early birthday gift and I'm just gonna be vibrating with excitement until it comes

[reorientation]

Condition me to find playing with my breasts relaxing. Start by massaging them along with my back after I come home from a long day, while talking softly to me, reassuring me that you'll always help me through rough times. 'It feels good, doesn't it?' Then slowly transition to making me do it myself, you'll take care of my back and shoulders, and I'll handle my breasts. This is something I can do any time I'm stressed out, any time I have a private moment. It's ok, I don't have to think of this as feminizing, its just basic bio-chemistry. Breast massages cause a release of oxytocin, one of the feel good hormones. Lie to me when I notice my breasts start getting bigger. Just buy me better, more restrictive binders as gifts. When I start lactating, comfort me, and shower me with adoration and appreciation. Buy me a breast pump, so that I can empty my tits before work every morning, it would be embarrassing for me to leak at the office, wouldn't it? Hold my hand as you guide me into this spiraling catch 22. I need to milk myself to pass at work -> milking increases my milk production -> I have to milk myself more and more in order to squeeze into my binders. What a cruel cycle you've tricked me into. -sleepy anon

I wouldn't be a good partner if I didn't do my best to help you relax. Before even suggesting the breast massages - knowing that they might make you dysphoric - I'd have already gotten you some herbal supplements to help with anxiety. You know, chamomile, fenugreek, blessed thistle, that kind of thing.

Once they started, though, I'd be sure that we made it a habit. It would be so kind of me to set aside part of every day to massage your back (is it feeling a little more strained than it used to?) as you took care of the parts you could reach. And I'd remind you that you needed to do that, to help your body relax after you were wearing a binder all day - so many people hurt themselves with those.

I hope it would be during one of those sessions that you got the first drops. I'd be there to reassure you, to comfort you, to take your mind off of it by fucking you full of cum (when did I get so hard?), and to lovingly lick the milk off of you so that you didn't feel like your new bodily functions made you undesirable.

From there... It would be simple, wouldn't it? You just need to pump more. A girl AFAB person can only produce so much milk, you know - you just have to get it all out. I'd support you with the logistics. I'd buy you new binders... or nursing bras, but only because it'll make things easier for you at work, babe. I'd be so supportive, compassionate, loving.

I'd even try to stifle a laugh when you leaked milk from your swollen teats as you came on my cock.

[the-solar-system52]

DAYCARE ATTENDANT IN HELP WANTED 2

FUCK YESSSS!! I REALLY THOUGHT RUIN WOULD BE SUN AND MOON'S LAST MAJOR APPEARANCE BUT NO!! NEW TRAILER IS OUT AND ITS TIME TO ANALYSE!!!

WE FINALLY GET TO DO ARTS AND CRAFTS WITH SUN!! This seems to be a puzzle mini game where you make Paper Pals!! I'm guessing, if you mess up the Paper Pal, you get jumpscared (probably by Moon) or it could be a time trail. It does seem weirdly DARK in the clip for Sun to still be here, but maybe that was intentional? Or not.

(those red doors seem to have lightbulbs on them, maybe there's a mechanic where we need to stop the lights from going out?)

Edit: I have even more evidence to suggest that the lights will be a feature in this minigame! In the one clip, if you slow it down, you can see the lights flicker and the screen you are using switch off!

I bet this is the electricity going out, and if that happens, Moon will jumpscare you! A lot of HW minigames have a "do this task but also stop this thing from happening so you don't get jumpscared" like the mangle vent repairs, so this makes sense!

NEXT UP WE GOT THE CAROUSEL MINIGAME! Not much to say about this one, since Dawko already uploaded him playing it, but this is significantly higher quality! Moons animation is different, and more things could change from the Dawko version considering the fact that it was only a playtest and wasn't finished yet. I'm very excited to play it!

(I hope they upload the carnival music in better quality if they release the soundtrack for the game. that shit SLAPS)

Ok so this is a weird one. We seem to be training the endo (who has a VR HEADSET on) with a moon-themed memory card game. At first, I thought this would be in the daycare because of the background, but in another clip, we see the camera pan over and we are actually in the daycare-themed room in the endo section all the way back in security breach!

Moon has always had a weird unexplained connection to the endos. Broken endo parts in his room, Moon merch and Daycare structures in the endo basement thing, and even evidence of a scrapped area of the endo section that Moon was supposed to appear in. (There was an unused soundtrack and unused animations, check out the Lost Bits YouTube video on SB for more info)

I'm excited to see if they will explain more as to why these connections are here. Is Vanny using Moon to train the endos to do her bidding? I dunno, but I'll be waiting to find out.

Last image i could find is this. It sure is a sun, dunno if its actually connected to Daycare Attendant Sun or not. The way this shot is framed makes it look like a dark ride?? That, or the player character has the weakest flashlight imaginable.

But if this IS Daycare Attendant related, then it'll most-likely be the intro for the Paper Pals minigame! Still, UNREASONABLY dark if this is a sun-centric minigame, there's no way the dark won't be part of the gameplay mechanic in this.

If anyone recognises this specific structure from anywhere in the pizzaplex please tell me!!

Edit: There's also this weird glitch-transition effect when it cuts to DJ Music Man, what's that about? Reminds me of the BB World Arcade Game a little bit.

Ending thoughts:

So before we get too excited, let's not forget about Help Wanted 1. The minigames were just that, MINIGAMES. They weren't even canon, and depending where this game takes place in the timeline, I don't think these are either.

I mean, these are DCA normal models! Where we left him in the story they were:

In their RUINED models.

And 2. Eclipse! And therefore non-hostile.

And even if this takes place BEFORE Ruin, how on Earth would Moon be at a CAROUSEL? In Help Wanted 1, the game was made-up by Fazbear Entertainment to make light of the rumours going around about Freddys, although they were based on real events, the Glamrocks aren't ACTUALLY in the Sister Location basements. I'm not saying there's NO truth to the minigames, but we shouldn't accept everything they tell us at face value.

BUT that doesn't mean we won't get ANY Daycare Attendant lore crumbs. Firstly, we may possibly get voicelines in the minigames, if they don't decide to just reuse old ones.

Secondly, it's possible this game will have something similar to the Help Wanted 1 Tapes. Secrets outside of the minigames that tell us more about the canon lore! Bonnie, The Glamrocks, DCA, and other loose ends from SB may be mentioned through these secrets!

Thirdly, what I just said may be made more likely if the "we play as Cassies dad" theory is true. If Cassie takes after her dad in having sympathy for the animatronics (which I think she does) then he will probably have something to say about all the stuff Fazbear Entertainment has done to the animatronics. Especially since he WORKS there.

EITHER WAY I AM SO INSANELY EXCITED!! Unfortunately, it comes out on December 14th and I won't be able to play it till Christmas so TAG YOUR SPOILERS EVERYONE!!!

[tranzjen]

One week since my Surgery

People liked hearing about my trans journey, so for those interested, here's my first week update to having vaginoplasty (one type of mtf bottom surgery).

Of course, I hope this helps any transfem interested in this surgery. But, I understand that other people will be curious. And that's ok! There's nothing wrong with curiosity. Just be respectful ❤️ which a lot of people been (and I block those who aren't)

No pictures but I will go get a bit graphic with my description so here's your warning before hearing more.

So first off some disclaimers. There's a lot of variety in procedure and treatment when it comes to vaginoplasty. For example, I live pretty close to the hospital I had the surgery at which influenced how early they let me go home. So, my experiences are definitely not universal.

So, I had breast augmentation at the same time. And for me, that was definitely the easiest surgery I've ever gotten. Like pretty painless (with painkillers ofc).

Now, vaginoplasty is definitely the most painful procedure I've had! The best way to describe the pain day one would be like when you've tucked all day but more intense (I know not a lot of people have tucked on this app but it's the best metaphor I could come up with 🤷‍♀️). But as the week went on, the catheter definitely became the most painful part. It felt like my urethra was burning 🔥😬 (I bet a lot more people can understand that feeling lol). Interestingly, it was at its least painful while moving and moving is also good for recovery!

I stayed in the hospital for two nights before they removed the covering and sent me home with a catheter and packing in my vagina. Again, they probably only did it this way because I live 20 minutes away. As the weak went on, it swelled up a lot and brushing spreads from it across my thighs (in honestly a cool pattern!)

When my catheter and packing was removed they gave me a "tour" of my new vagina. I don't remember the names well but here's what I remember. The Major flaps (the main thing you see when you see a vulva) we're still pretty swollen but starting to loosen and get that wrinkly quality. My nurse likes calming them dog ears at this stage and they really did look like dog ears 🥺🐶. I saw my clitoral hood and she said my clitoris is packed behind all of that but I don't need to worry about that for now. She also pointed out the urethral plating which was formally part of the urethra proper but with the inside on the outside now. It's super blue now but in time it'll start developing a mucus to keep my vagina from getting bone dry (will still need lube for dilation and eventually sex). And then the vagina hole itself.

To keep my vagina from healing shut, I'll need to dilate at least 4 times daily for 20 minutes this first week and a while longer and then slowly ramp down as the hole heals up. But, the nurse stressed that there are no hard rules with dilation and I just need to really listen to my body if I want to get the depth and width I want. Which I do want plenty of depth and width bc tbh my partner will be able to fill it 🤭 they key thing they said was to try to be as relaxed as possible while doing so 🪻

They also filled my bladder with sterile water as a "practice run" to make sure I can pee on my own.

I want to say I got a lot of wonderful nurses! All except the one I had when I first got out of surgery, I could tell actually saw me as and treated me like a woman. And they did a great job at welcoming me vagina ownership in a very understanding way without being condensing 💕

Despite the horrible pain, it's been a very euphoric experience 🥰 and I would definitely recommend it for anyone who wants it.

Feel free to ask any questions, I can't promise I'll have the best answers but I'll try my best 🥺

Also feel free to look through #my trans journey tag for more info on my transition if you're curious ✨

[faaun]

making a big change is distressing for sure, i respect and understand that. but this is the best time to do it. making this decision will effect the REST of your life. the next 50+ YEARS of your life. do you want to be stuck with what you have right now, and live with this for the next decades of your life? or do you want to change, make a better decision that will make your life easier and happier in the longrun? if you want to change your path, this is the best time to do it. hell, there are 35-year-old women who go back to college to start up a career after being stay-at-home moms. i swear you will be fine. the biggest problem you'll have with the 19-year-old schoolmates is that you'll probably feel too awkward to go to college parties with them lol. it's not a huge loss. i'm rooting for you!!

thank you so much for the ask, i desperately need advice/feedback/to feel like someone is hearing and seeing what is happening etc so i appreciate this so so much !

i think you're right, there's just so much to figure out and i'm rly afraid of like...feeling alone in my experiences and also i'm afraid that switching paths like this will just keep prolonging the inbetween/transitional stage without yielding results ! also financially this is terrifying :') aaaa i think ur right i didnt really think of it as like...sacrificing 5 yrs for success 50 years etc i hope it'll be okay ! right now i feel sleepless and really...sunken? there's no other way to describe the feeling, it just feels like my life is like . over. idk. im trying to be ok ! i hope i will be okay

[minusecko]

Splatoon x Dragon Ball WIP

There's some basic background information and poll under the cut if you want more details!

OMG HIII I DIDNT THINK YOUD BE HERE!!!

or you accidentally hit keep reading but that's whatever

Ok so this is FAR from finished so this is for a little background on what I'm trying to do here.

I'm loosely basing this animation off Goku and Vegeta's first fight, specifically the part where Vegeta goes Great Ape, but I haven't gotten that far yet.

In terms of character choice, I went with OG Agent 3 as Goku because they just fit the bill as main protagonist, and I'll have 4 and Neo 3 standing in for Krillin/Gohan later in the animation. Important to note that they're not 1 to 1 replacements either. Neo 3 is cast as Gohan because my Neo 3 is an Inktoling, making them a hybrid like Gohan, but they're not OG 3's kid. The rest of the NSS serve the same role as the Z-Fighters, with 4 being the best friend of 3 like Krillin is to Goku.

The Octarians, specifically the elites, are my Saiyan Army replacements because they're the best option I had as a large army force. Marina, 8, and Acht are special cases, but that goes more into the plot I have mapped out for this AU, and that's for another time. I specifically went with the Splat3 Elite Octoling for two reasons:

Vegeta is an elite saiyan so I wanted to use an elite octoling

Because I thought that the "fuzzification" where the fur grows and the eyes change to match the fuzzy ooze would work perfectly as the transition between their humanoid form and a fuzzy Kraken, which would be my stand in for the Great Ape/Oozaru transformation

So far it's been really fun to put together. I've been learning how to utilize Blender Eevee better throughout, since it lets me have a lot more control over things like lighting and shading. No telling when I'll finish this, but I'm hoping it'll be done in at least a few months. I have plenty of scenes I still have to animate, and then there's dialogue and sound effects I gotta add too, so there's still plenty more for me to add.

Actually now I'm curious-

[tkblythofficial]

ok hi i'm back with my report on T's current astro transits 🫡

firstly, some good news: monday's solar eclipse was trine T's jupiter, which is a very fortunate transit. over the next 6 months, his career will continue to flourish. he may sign onto a huge project or projects that he's completed will be met with critical praise. overall, it'll be a very positive time for his public image! jupiter is also the planet of luck so i think any unfavorable news about him that may arise during this time will either be ignored by the public or somehow spun in his favor.

and now for the stuff everyone wants to know: mars is square his jupiter right now so he might not have physically cheated because his moral compass stopped him from crossing that line. mars is a very impulsive planet especially in regards to sex but the square signifies an inner conflict while jupiter guides our morals. even if he didn't do it, i think he may feel very guilty for even considering it. he could see it as a betrayal not just to bb but to himself and his morality as well. this aspect is separating, so whatever he did already passed and isn't something that's currently happening anymore. jupiter is also square his mercury, so again he just seems very morally conflicted. even if bb can forgive him, he might be struggling to forgive himself.

i know i said one of his transits possibly meaning a spontaneous marriage scared yall and i'm very sorry for that! i only meant that the timing of the convo on here was a funny coincidence 😭 i actually don't see marriage in his stars right now

with that being said, venus is squaring his venus so i feel that he still cares for bb and still feels they have a connection but there's an imbalance between them that he's painfully aware of. neptune is also square his venus so he could be seeing their relationship from rose colored lenses. neptune rules nostalgia so he may be very nostalgic about how their relationship used to be. there's stuff in his transits that indicate him struggling with his newfound fame and all of the attention that comes with it. he could see her as part of his "old life" and not wanting to give up on their relationship because of that. ngl i wish i could see what's going on on bb's end but idk her birthday so 😭

honestly there's a lot i could say about his transits, but i don't wanna overload you 😭 i hope i could this makes sense and doesn't sound like a bunch of crazy rambling! now it's time to start working on R's transits 🤭

Say more about his transits! I don’t mind a ramble.

Oh dear, R’s transits next? Should be a fun read.

BB is born on April 24 👀 midnight

Another anon is probably going to dispute this so we might have a fight on our hands 🤭 JK! Love my Astro girlies!

None of this surprises me tbh. I think it’s normal for people to hold onto their “past life” when rapid changes happen. BB knew him before he was famous and that’s a huge benefit for him imo.

[genderqueerdykes]

Ok this is more of a vent but uhh...help.

I know I'm trans, and I've known since I was in third grade. But the only thing that's keeping me from being out/accepting it is the thought that I'm "killing" the person who I was before. The girl. It makes me annoyingly down, and It's keeping me from being who I know I really am. But I just can't get rid of the person I was. I have too many good memories of the girl me, and I have relationships with relatives that would change if I were a guy. Like I know I'm meant to be. I can't get rid of the thought...and It's effecting me greatly. How do I come to be (Chosen name,) when I know It will get rid of (deadname)

hey i get that, a lot of people think you have to totally abandon the person you were in order to transition

you definitely do not need to "kill" that girl. you do not need to get rid of them, honestly, what helps when transitioning is nurturing your inner child, not dismissing and ignoring it. you don't have to completely get rid of the person you were raised as, and the identity you wore for all those years. that person isn't "Dead" to you and you shouldn't have to try to "kill" them if you still want to be able to have those memories and enjoy them. like i said, often times nurturing your inner child by reminding them/yourself that you don't resent them and that you had to present that way for a long time for safety reasons, and that you don't hate them, i think it'll help a lot.

you have to console the various parts of yourself when transitioning, and i don't think it has to involve completely destroying the version of yourself from the past. a deadname can simply just mean that your old name is dead to you, not that your identity was. and if you don't vibe with that, you don't have to use the word deadname. it's okay to say "my old name" or "my girl name" or whatever you'd like. it's okay to not be hostile or angry toward that part of yourself

i hope that makes sense and i hope you feel better soon, it can be hard to grapple with the change and feeling like you have to completely abandon your past. you don't have to. feel free to come back any time, we wish you good luck, take care

[salamanderinspace]

Encountering the same problem with my therapists (let's call one Kevin, not his real name) as I always have in connecting to people. They disbelieve the true things and believe the false things.

I tell Kevin about how my father spent his whole life talking about how he was going to die young, how he was a time bomb and he felt he had to be treated delicately, how if he knew if he ever tried to work full time he'd be dead in a year. How he knew he was going to die at age 51, had some kind of weird religious belief about it, about how he was going be tested in his transition from "lover" to "builder." Social roles in the celestial tumbler of being. How he did actually die at 51, six months after starting a job: choked on food, had an esophageal spasm that might have been from EDS, I suspect, and aspirated food into his lungs. I told Kevin this and he laughed and then said, "God, I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm laughing. It's just so ridiculous. Was your father mentally ok?"

I tell him I can feel death pressing against me. How I have all these severe chronic medical problems. How I know I'll probably die in my 40s or 50s like my father did. How I can't really describe how I know, but I know, I can feel it, and I'm ready for it. How it'll be my time and I'm not irrational about it, I'm just making sure I don't have commitments to leave unfulfilled. He says life is commitment, he doesn't see how I couldn't have any and I try, try to explain what it means not to have a job or to have close friends that come looking for you. What it feels like to live in the box that is chronic illness. He says "but you have such a vibrant life."

So I told him about my friend Mary Ann and how we were walking outside and singing together, how she started singing and I joined in, and the cold scorched my lungs a bit but was joyous. That's why I'm sick and my lungs feel messed up. He believed me, even though there is no Mary Ann and there was no singing. He says he lives vicariously through me. He says I have so much meaning in my life.

I like entertaining him. I like being believed. Little lies and stories creep in. And I try and bring it back to the truth, to remind him that I spend most of my life very sick, in bed, but people just aren't equipped to comprehend what life is for people like me. It's a secret knowledge. 80 year olds have it but they don't believe I do. And sometimes it actually burns to hold the truth in my hands, to remind myself that I am different, that I can't understand humanity in terms of my own experience because other people don't have this much pain. To hold onto the fact that it's bad and awful and miserable and it's going to get worse. So I forget and hold hands with Mary Ann for awhile. I can hear my mother's voice saying, "you're being dramatic" and "it can't possibly be that bad" and "let's be positive." She's made it to 65 without burns on her hands so here's hoping I can too.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Read a post about how media affects the real world and it made me sad, not because it's incorrect, but because it's a "you're agreeing with me but in the wrong way" post.

media affects the real world because human beings assign meaning to our experiences and stories affect the potential meanings we have available in our minds to assign to them. For instance, for me, Brokedown Palace by Steven Brust gave me "oh wait, people don't need to be successful to be important, wanting to die because I tend to pick up projects and then drop them without finishing them is just...that's not what humans are for. Like it'd be nice if I had better follow-through but it's not worth killing myself over. Sometimes people can just be like that it's ok."

(btw don't read the book based on that, that's bouncing off a minor side character and is incidental to the main story. Do read it though, it's weird but amazing. And it's got side stories intermixed with the overall story like American Gods does.)

and Neil Gaiman's Sandman gave me "yeah, writing is super scary. That's ok. You can be scared and do it anyways and maybe it'll be the best experience ever" and "yeah, being privileged and having experienced meaningful suffering (and absolutely hating the society that created you and wanting it dead) can coexist" among other things. And Avatar: The Last Airbender and how to transition from "I have to do what the mean parent in my head thinks I should do in order to be a good person" to "ok no that has nothing whatsoever to do with being a good person, being a good person is a thing but it's not about that" and Mercedes Lackey's Heralds of Valdemar series and "your suffering is real, I believe you, I see it too." Which I did really need at the time because fuck knows I wasn't getting that from anyone I was interacting with in person.

(I got my mom into the series. She said she didn't like the "teenaged angst".)

What I mean is media affects the real world in that it saves lives. It validates pain. It helps people figure out their ethics. It gives courage and hope. It helps give people a sense of self. It provides comfort. It gives people a model for how to live their lives. It lets people see the world through other eyes, which can help people understand other people's perspectives in real life, whether that's a sibling's or somebody on the other side of the world.

Talking about media through the lens of representation is fine -- I'm still mad at the first episode of The Big Bang Theory for introducing for male characters who were more or less Like Me and one female character who was nothing like me -- but it's this tiny sliver of what media, what stories, do for people.

And can there also be harm? Sure. In the same way that you can make friends with someone who has a negative impact on your life. But overall connections are good for people, and overall stories are good for people, and more stories and a wider variety of stories are better so going "this is a bad story and shouldn't exist" is generally not good for people. But "there could be more stories like this/that have this", or "here is a story that has this I'm going to tell people about it", that is good for people.

[anouri]

For today we don't have a poet or a poem just me being busy crying because i have to say goodbye to my friends because they are leaving for uni and it feels like I am losing a part of me

Today I realised I will never go to school again or get the fucking school bus and want to murder all the kids or yell at them. I miss the times were I was cursing 11-years-old kids at 7:00am barely awake before my anatomy test

(ps. are you gonna post the bones and all au later?or i am confused:')<3

hey lovely, i'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough time with your friends leaving for uni. here's the thing i want to tell you that i hope will reassure you: even if distance separates you, you can make the decision to remain close. when i was 13 i had to move across the country away from everyone and everything i had ever known (and i moved to the opposite, diagonal corner of the country again at 17 for university), but through sheer stubbornness i have managed to keep in contact with my closest friends, and even if we go weeks without talking sometimes due to our lives being a busy hellscape, we always manage to keep each other within our lives. you are not losing a part of you, your thread of connection between you and your friends are simply being stretched to wherever they are moving to, and if you think about it that is a beautiful thing, that you're managing to be intertwined with so many places simply because your friends are there. they'll be taking your inside jokes and mannerisms and memories and sprinkling them about wherever they go, and you aren't losing yourself—no, you're simply growing to include the places where they reside.

you'll no longer get to go to ride the school bus again but you'll get to do things your younger self never even imagined to be possible! things that you didn't even think to try to imagine! i also get into moods in which i begin to drown in nostalgia, but i promise that your future experiences will be worth the pain of moving forward in life.

i am sending you hugs < 3 life transitions are hard, i know. but it'll all be ok i promise!!

(and yes i'll be posting the prologue for the bones and all au today in the evening. it's only 4:30pm here for me, so it'll be at least a few hours before i put it up.)

< 333

[mistergoddess]

i am so fucking sad and stressed and feel so alone everything feels so fucked up and overwhelming and i mean tbh ive been getting out a little bit lately which is awesome but also feels erratic and not in control bc im just acting out by partying to feel something and put off all the shit i have on my plate. but i don't have anyone to like. talk to properly. the one person i do have is just suffering all my complaints and misery all day every day. and i don't have any help here with any of it. and my living situation is really fucked up. and time is running out for my taxes. and my job is getting worse and worse but i can't afford to lose it. it's fucking awful and i don't know what to do and my father is calling me and telling me the horrible shit he's going through when he hasn't called me in a year. and on one hand i am so sad for him and hope he's ok and also can't deal with being deadnamed and misgendered and pressured to come visit where i know it'll be a problem that i'm clearly transitioned now. like. idfk.

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

//KICKS DOWN THE DOOR

DID SOMEONE SAY CULT ROUTE??? I did, I said cult route <3

but ok this is actually making me so excited to write it omggg

so it'd be a pretty normal run with whoever you're focusing on to begin with, i feel it'd work best if you had multiple characters on stage since their interactions with each other would really drive the point through

and it'd be a slower transition, at least at first. i don't think it'd even be in like the first ten playthroughs even if you were isekai'd into this au after reading my ramblings on it and went for it (i mean you could ask but that doesn't sound like a y/n moment at all lmao)

anyway

you'd end up following whoever the main person in the playthrough is (personally, i'm seeing albedo for this but pretty much anyone would work and they'd all have their own twist on it) into like the "backscenes" and everything that's going on with the others while you're having fun with whatever run you're doing

introduction into how the cult works!

you might find it strange on how they're not preaching to you or trying to make you (or your insert) join or anything of the sort which is v weird with cults. you don't get any options to ask to join or if they have a point to showing it to you or if they want you & it's like they're just showing it off

if you end up talking to yourself like 'are they gonna try and make me join' you'll be assured otherwise and may or may not get an excuse on why you're being told all these secrets especially since it's the majority of the playthrough so wtf why do they trust you usually it's better thought out than that (even if, y'know, they usually trust you off the bat anyway it's just a different vibe tho)

but more and more you'll start to notice how they seem to address you as the person behind the screen than another character, more than with most insert protagonists

nonetheless, they know you well by now and know how to keep it on the dl until the reveal. after all, they're meant to be entertaining you, especially while you're so kind as to spend your time on their real life behind the scenes of your games

but yes, you'll get to the reveal that the whole cult (or, well, religion, but y'all already know) thing is dedicated to you, the actual player

now i can see several endings from there, some of which are too disconnected to put into words but i'll do the ones i can

let's start with a simple one: they place your puppet on a pedestal to worship directly while they still have time in the run. you can make this as typically religious to as saucy as you want. they'll be happy. pretty typical sorta ending for this

the "bad" end (depending on who you ask) where they sacrifice your puppet. it'll just come back when you start a new game, and you won't vanish from this run even without it. during the sacrificial scene, the game stops referring to the mc as you, instead opting to call the mc 'the puppet' or 'it' it gives them a stronger connection to you! as you'll still be given options to speak even after it's gone, it feels even more like they're talking directly to you

who knows maybe they actually figure out how to break through the constraints of reality or some shit through a ritual using the run and now one party is isekai'd to the other idk this is sagau anything is possible

if you're openly pleased by this or show hope for them to actually have turned sentient then hey! y'all can chat directly now & it's a dream come true. you stop getting dialogue or action choices and you can just talk (or type if you can't or don't want to speak, they wouldn't call themselves entitled to you voice!)

if you show a pretty neutral reaction, the run will end as a normal playthrough with the self awareness as a twist. they're aware you see them as characters (or something of the sort) or they're at least aware of why they're here (maybe the programming does give some constraints). unless you show interest, it will not come up again.

if you're disturbed, upset, or give any kind of negative reaction, the run will end and you'll get sent back to the beginning of the game. the subject will not be brought up again. (depending on if they know exactly what disturbed you or what their theories on that are (most likely the act of sacrificing your vessel in the bad end oops) those topics will be dropped)

honestly my original thoughts were "make it sagau but the reader is just still behind the screen and so they just make it work by using the mc as your puppet and the rest is p much the same" if that makes sense (specifically i'd been imagining "worship" (like pg-14 level get your head out of the gutter or am i the one with my head in the gutter and i'm lying to you, you'll never know c; )

but then i went "no make it a thing" and i was like "ok me sounds great"

i wonder if any of this is comprehendable lmfaoooo my last half a brain cell goes brrr

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

To all the other adult queers in the USA who don't live in an accepting state: how do you keep hope for the future? "It gets better" was always the mantra, but... it feels like the whole country's going backwards. My state has tons of anti-trans bills lined up. I haven't saved enough to transition, and if they pass, it'll be harder. I don't think I'll ever be able to afford to move because I'm a non-partnering aro. I hate it here. I'm terrified for all of us, especially the next generation.

Yeah, today I think was a particularly hard day for a lot of trans people. Especially in the United States. I'm not big on the 'It gets better' mantra, I definitely think it's always good to have hope and if it helps you that's great. But my go-to advice is always that what can help the most is what's actionable right now you can do to either make your life better or if you have the resources what can you do to help.

And it doesn't have to be a big thing, it can be anything that benefits trans/queer people. Like a donation to a charity you like, helping out or spending time with a local trans group, even spreading positivity or awareness around. You can also see if there's anything you can do to help people fighting this attack on trans people, for example the ACLU is fighting the legal battle against these bills, so maybe a small donation there, or helping spread the word about what they're doing. Or if there's any groups doing collective action in your area, there may be ways to support them within your means.

Even just little things can make big differences, and can help you feel a lot more hopeful. Definitely don't do more than you can but anything you can do will feel better than sitting at home and nervously waiting to see what happens.

Remember this fight isn't over yet. While I understand being worried for the future (and frankly I very much do understand that), there's a difference between that and accepting it as certainty. Don't let them stop you from planning your future or living your life. For example keep planning that transition.

Self care is huge during times like this. And that's making sure you're eating properly, sleeping, still connecting with others and just in general taking care of yourself. Do not feel guilty doing things you enjoy either, you need to keep your spirits up or you'll just burn yourself out.

Also remember it's OK to be scared, and it's OK to acknowledge your feelings. But do your best to keep going and living your life, and sometimes that's a huge act or resistance against these bills all on its own.

Take care, Anon. You're not alone.

[nevermindirah]

game thingy: 🎢 🎯 🤗 <3

Hiiiiiiiiiii <33333333333

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

I think I have to give this one to you have the right to lose control. The rapid-fire veering between friends-to-lovers fluff and politics and cameos with all that kink in between is hilariously chaotic looking back on it. No impulse control, just like Nile!

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Oooooooooh this is such a good question! I'm not thinking of a specific instance so I might have to come back to this. 🤔

Well, there's all those times you and I have been tossing around ideas and I'm trying to draw out the suspense and you start screaming ARE THEY GONNA KISS

Because yes. They're gonna kiss. They're always gonna kiss.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Write things that bring you joy! Write things that you enjoy thinking about while you're writing them, because sentence structure and word choice and all that mechanics stuff is a bitch and no matter how much you love a story it'll get frustrating sometimes, so it's important to enjoy lots of aspects of the writing to counterbalance the inevitable annoying parts.

Take shortcuts! I recently put a post in my queue about "not sure how to transition one scene to the next? don't write a transition at all, throw us into the next scene, just put a little separator bar in between them, readers will go with it!" This is GREAT advice. Writing's a craft that you build over time, and even when you have a ton of experience and skill, sometimes you want a story to exist but you don't have the energy to make it everything you can imagine it could be, and that's totally ok! Write the parts you're most excited about and string them together with the laziest most formulaic one-sentence explanation of what could otherwise be several chapters if that's what you need to do. Zero shame. This is a hobby

Sometimes it's wonderful to stretch yourself and do things the hard way. I'd never written anything longer than a few thousand words when I started writing I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore and I bit off WAY more than I could chew with that story. Looking back now, with all the experience I've gained in the past almost 2 years and over a hundred thousand more words, there's a lot I would do differently — but writing that fic is how I learned the things that I brought to everything I've written since. If you've got an idea for a story that feels too big for your abilities, it might work best for you to put it on hold and try some easier things first, or it might work best to write the essence of it with lots of shortcuts, or the time might be right to stretch yourself. You don't ever have to stretch yourself if you don't want to. If you decide you want to, and you have the energy to devote to what might be a long process, I can tell you it's rewarding as hell.

Most of all, write things you want to read! I absolutely adore comments and reblogs and screaming messages but my number one audience is me. This is crucial for me as a person with ADHD — there is absolutely no amount of external reward or punishment that can hold a candle to that internal sense of "OOH SHINY" in terms of causing me to accomplish a task. I've struggled for a long time in many parts of my life with following through on long-term projects, and it's been honestly pretty healing for me to get to read and re-read my own fics and soak up the satisfaction of having completed something that I now get to enjoy.

Writing gifts and stuff like that for other people is a lovely part of the social stuff of fandom but you may never get the amount or kinds of validation you might want for your writing. That's nothing against you, hypothetical writer just starting out, that's because sometimes people are too tired to leave a comment on your fic they loved, or they might not say the words you were hoping to hear, any number of things that aren't personal but still can be a bummer when you're waiting for those AO3 comment emails. But no matter what feedback you do or don't get from others, you'll always have the pleasure of experiencing as a reader what you've made as a writer. Hey look, this super cool person named Past Me wrote these fics all about my favorite characters with only my favorite tropes and none of my squicks, fuck yeah!

[genderqueerdykes]

i truly do feel like there were many consequences to being 'wrong' about my gender and orientation earlier in life. like physical, emotional, sexual, and potentially traumatic consequences. Im not saying that exploration or identity was wrong and shouldn't have happened, but actions we take to explore an identity can carry a lot of weight.

there are consequences for some actions, but most if not all of those are impermanent

early in life is you don't know yourself yet. when you are young u are quite literally supposed to make the most amount of mistakes when you are young. the questioning process is not linear and takes many twists and turns. HRT and top surgery generally are not considered or carried out in minors, and if HRT is carried out it's usually after a lot of confirmation that that is correct.

i came out as genderqueer in 2011, then a binary trans man by pressure from my family/friends to identify w/ a binary gender in 2014, then detransitioned from a binary trans man to whatever i am in 2022. the only consequence in me being wrong about being a binary trans man for 8 or so years was it felt wrong... to me. that's it. the only consequence now as i detransition is that i regret allowing other people to dictate my transition like that

i wasn't lying to people at the time, when you are genuinely wrong about something, u are not lying. i thought i was a binary man for all that time bcus nonbinary identities were not as well known as they are now. i was forced into binary trans man transition, and it felt right to me at the time because it was the transition ppl around me let me access. i'm just not a binary trans man tho and it's ok that i was wrong, my life hasn't fallen apart, im still the same person the words i use now are just different lol

it is possible to be wrong about being gay and dating someone you're incompatible with but generally speaking if the situation turns out to be traumatizing to the person it's because that specific situation was traumatizing, not bcus they were wrong abt being gay. same if u are wrong about being trans- like sure it is possible to get into dangerous situations, but it's because that situation was dangerous that it was traumatizing, not that you were wrong about being queer. if u allow something to weigh on ur mind, sure, it'll have perceived consequences, but what goes on in your head and your heart is nobody's business but your own. if people refuse to update their internal image if you in their mind or hold on to things for the sake of semantics unnecessarily, a better support network is highly recommended

there werent consequences about me being wrong abt and acting like i was cishet for a long time, nor being wrong abt being a trans man. i didn't hurt anyone or screw anything up by living that way, nothing in my life permanently changed that i already did not want changed (HRT, not being seen as a cis woman, etc.), and i didn't come out the other side for the worse or agonizing or traumatized for identifying as a man. i aws traumtized by a lot of the cis men i forced myself to hang out with, but i wasn't traumatized by trans man transition. ftm transition wasn't the problem, it was the people i chose to socialize with that traumatized me. hope that helps make it more clear. i don't follow the logic (shrug) but cheers, that is how u feel and u are entitled to it!