#i hope it comes across that crowley is trying to make it look like he’s scratching his face lol

[blairamok]

meanwhile at a medal ceremony

[once-upon-the-earth]

Look I think I said it before somewhere but I need to talk about it again.

Aziraphale (in the show - his characterization differs in the book and I’m talking about show Aziraphale here) is a soft character. He started out as a soldier and he made the conscious decision to give the sword away to someone who would use it for protection, instead of keeping it to fight (leaving out the whole thing about War owning it later on cause that’s a different topic and definitely wasn’t what Aziraphale had in mind when giving away the sword). He also makes a conscious decision to look and act as non-threatening as possible, instead deciding to look soft and huggable and gay as hell a tree full of monkeys on nitrogen oxide. We don’t see him fighting anybody even when he gets the sword back - he just holds it and swings it around a little, he doesn’t even lift it when they face Satan (I think. I’d have to go back and watch again but I’m fairly sure he just stands in the background behind Adam with the tip of the sword facing the ground).

We know, or at least suspect from the scene where he fixes the hole in the wall that he’s physically strong and we know he’s still technically a soldier in Heavens eyes (Gabriel going „you’re a lean mean fighting machine“ and him having and possibly leading a platoon in Heaven) but he fully rejects that position in episode five to go back to Earth. He doesn’t want to be a soldier at all. He’s still a protector, we see this in season two with Jimbriel (he literally says „I said I would protect you and I will), but even THEN he doesn’t physically fight the demons entering the bookshop (he lights the circle but it’s Maggie and Nina throwing fire extinguishers and encyclopedias).

I know we as the fandom love badass Aziraphale. I love badass Aziraphale as well. I take a little bit of an issue with how him actually being badass is portrayed in fanfic sometimes because a lot of trying to make him physically fight demons comes across as trying to make him more masculine, more fit, less the campy, soft, kind character that he is and it annoys me. (A part of that is also how people try to make him more like Crowley, which I don’t like the undertones of either but that’s a whole different topic.) Both because I don’t like the implication that to make him badass you have to change that part of his character and because we’ve seen him being badass in the show already and it was either a) trying to protect humans/Crowley/Jimbriel, which involved a lot more threatening that him actually throwing hands or on one occasion b) him being bitchy (Furfur pronouncing his name wrong). It was him being kind and caring about people and their lives! And possibly their reading skills.

And I know there’s a lot of hope for more badass Aziraphale in season three, because hell yeah, Heaven getting obliterated from the inside? Absolutely. But when we get to see BAMF Aziraphale in season three (because I don’t doubt we will, in some form or other) I’d much rather see him be badass by outsmarting Heaven (magic tricks anybody?) and getting away with it or threatening the Metatron or whatever than by punching somebody in the face. And IF he does have to use physical violence, then I want there to be a reason for it and I want it to be portrayed as a bad thing. Like I want I to be the absolutely lowest point of the character because we know how much he detests doing it and he hates having to do it anyways.

In that case also want it to end with the Metatron dead in a ditch.

[crushmeeren]

Crowley/Fem Reader/Aziraphale

Warnings; Bottom! Crowley, Top! Aziraphale, my version of Soft Dom! Reader, Anal Sex, Rimming, Vaginal Sex, Female Anatomy/Pronouns, Reader does wear a strap on!

Note; I wrote this entire thing as a request and I FUCKING FORGOT TO MAKE THE READER A DEMON, IM SORRY REQUESTOR 😭 I hope you and everyone else still enjoy 🥲

AO3 Link; Escapades🪽

Word Count; 6.2k

It always starts the same way. Crowley stumbles upon a new sexual escapade he wants the three of you to experience in the bedroom. Then the sneaky bastard riles up you and Aziraphale, way too easily if you’re being honest, and then three of you end up tumbling into the bedroom. You’re learning, way too late into the evening, that Crowley had been made aware of what pegging is. The red headed demon absolutely got more than a little drunk with Nina and Maggie last night, and consequently ended up with more details of their sex life than he wanted.

The only part he couldn’t shake off, was when they mentioned the pegging, and how mind blowing the experience can be. They talked about how ridiculously hot it can be, not to mention how good it feels, having your female partner, who doesn’t naturally have a dick, fuck you with more or less a cock of their own.

As soon as the the images flashed behind his eyes, he felt his cheeks burn. He took a sip of his scotch and he felt warmth spread through his belly pleasurably. He knows it’s not from the alcohol and for fucks sake, he just couldn’t resist being interested, the idea stuck to his brain like glue. It stayed with him the entire night. He, with extreme difficulty, was able to keep himself from getting rock hard that night. The thought of your smaller frame underneath him threatening to send blood rushing south.

That would’ve been too embarrassing if he spontaneously had to leave his impromptu drinking session with the girls because he couldn’t get his boner to go away. Truthfully, he had thought about being fucked by you often. Thinking about getting railed by you made his dick throb involuntarily. He knows the Angel wants it as well. He and Aziraphale had spoken about it, in great detail, before. He’d even had the Angel wrap a hand around his cock, whisper sweet nothings into his ear about you fucking him until he’d cum so hard his sticky release had hit him in the face.

Surprisingly enough, the two of them had never heard of or come across pegging before, leading them to believe it was never going to be an option. The fact that it was, is the reason Crowley showed up eagerly late the next day at the bookshop with a fucking strap on in his hands. You attempt to burn holes in his skull as your gaze flickers between the item in his hand and his smug looking face. Your eye twitches.

“Pegging?” you ask in disbelief, eyebrow raised as you cross your arms and push out one of your hips. Warmth pools in your belly at the mention of it, it’s not like you haven’t thought about it before. They had never brought it up so you just assumed they weren’t interested in that. You can see you were clearly wrong.

The three of you are in the bookshop, Aziraphale at his desk, reading glasses on the bridge of his nose as he looks over one of his books about “the art of prestidigitation”, as he likes to call it. Once he saw what the demon was holding he immediately turned back to his desk and started to try extremely hard to pointedly not listen to the conversation that you and Crowley began having. He ignored the way his cheeks burned, and the butterflies that filled his belly when Crowley started talking.

“Yes love, ever heard of it?” Crowley replies in a teasing tone of voice, smirking as he takes his black glasses off, setting them down on a nearby surface. He turns to face you again, stretching out his arm to wiggle the strap on at you, fake dick and all bobbing about in the wind. You roll your eyes at him, before narrowing your gaze. Sometimes you can’t believe the blunt audacity Crowley has, but when he gets these ideas it usually works out in the end so you haven’t turned him down yet. Laughing incredulously, you tilt your head and you reply with just as much attitude.

“Yes, I’ve heard of it, I’m just surprised you haven’t, I didn’t realize you had that little experience Crowley.” Uncrossing your arms you place them on your hips. You smile with fake innocence and make eye contact with him. You see his smirk grow even wider as he tilts his head back in amused laughter. Eyes coming to rest on your face, Crowley steps closer to you, getting into your space and looking down at you.

You can feel some of the heat radiating from him and you resist the urge to blush. You stare up at him, not backing down. The demon wraps his warm, slim fingers around your hip, slipping his thumb under your shirt, softly rubbing the skin over the bone there. You bite your lip to hold back a soft moan and the air between the two of you starts to thicken like warm honey. Crowley trails a finger softly down your neck. A shiver runs down your spine as he leans closer, lips softly brushing your cheek before he whispers in your ear. The bastard knows what he’s doing and you fall for it every time.

“Well then, I suppose I’m gonna need you to show me what it means to get fucked hmm? My pretty goddess,” he coos, voice smooth and low as he kisses your earlobe, then he moves to press a kiss into the sensitive skin of your neck. The feeling of his breath tickling your skin as he mouths at your throat makes your body flush, warm arousal instantly shooting to your belly. You almost forgot the Angel was here when you and Crowley hear the sound of a page ripping and Aziraphale cursing softly in the background.

——————————————————

As you expected, Crowley is the most eager to get pegged first. The idea has been rolling around in his brain the most lately and he’s aching for it. Furthermore he’s a little shit who always gets what he wants. So Aziraphale, living up to his title as Angel once again, caves easily to the demons request. He really can’t say no to his pretty face. Crowley promises him he’ll reward him in return, whispering sweetly to him and kissing his cheeks as the two climb onto the bed.

You had decided to leave that decision up to the two of them, knowing nobody is going to get left out either way. Aziraphale really doesn’t mind, he knows no matter what he’s going to feel good. Whether it’s watching you and Crowley put on a show for him or he’s actively participating, he’s just so happy to be a part of it.

After you’ve flipped off the overhead light, you turn on a lamp in corner of the room. It glows a comforting soft yellow and makes the space feel much more intimate. Despite the soothing light, you unfortunately spent about 10 irritating minutes cursing and figuring out how to get the damn strap on hooked to your hips and under your thighs correctly. You walk over to stand at the end of the bed, near the edge as you finish securing it in place.

Aziraphale and Crowley are on the bed, completely bare as they kiss eagerly in front of you. You hum softly in approval as you listen to the slick sound of their lips meeting over and over. They are both raised up on their knees, facing each other, giving you a pretty picture of their side profiles as they make out. Aziraphale is holding Crowleys waist and in turn Crowley wraps his arms around the Angels neck. He plays with the soft white curls at the nape of Aziraphales neck and the Angel tugs Crowley closer into his chest by his hips.

You feel your pussy getting slick and it throbs beneath the strap on. Your teeth dig into the sensitive skin of your bottom lip. Gods, they just look so fucking hot together. They are your wet dream and you let your eyes trail up and down their bodies, noticing both of their flushed, hard cocks rubbing together with every tiny movement they make. The tips of their cocks shiny with precum as they continue to lightly thrust against each other. You have the urge to reach out and wrap one hand around both of them, feeling the warm, silky skin and jerking them off together. You file that thought away and save it for later.

You hear a soft groan, which you recognize comes from the demon and your eyes snap upwards to see he’s already looking at you. His yellow eyes watching you intensely. You realize he was trying to get your attention and you raise an eyebrow at him. He keeps eye contact with you and he smiles into the kiss with Aziraphale. Crowley makes sure you can see his forked tongue as he slips it into the Angels mouth, making Aziraphale gasp softly and open up easily for him.

Your pussy clenches around air and your fingers dig into your palm as you see their tongues roll together. Crowley turns his attention back to his heated kiss with the Angel, closing his eyes again. You notice Aziraphales cheeks are a pretty pink as they start to really get into it, Aziraphale digging his nails into the demons skin. They lean into each other and you see Crowleys hand start to trail down Aziraphales chest. He drags his nails over the Angels stomach, making a move to reach for the Angels cock.

“No,” you order him, quite casually, and his hand stops in its place. Crowley whines into Aziraphales mouth and breaks away from the kiss. The Angel pants and leans forward as if he’s chasing the demons lips. Turning his head to look at you, bottom lip sticking out, Crowley keeps his other hand perched on the Angels shoulder as his chest heaves. They both have a pretty flush and Aziraphale decides to rest his forehead against Crowleys shoulder.

“You’re no fun darling,” Crowley pouts, trying to give you wide, puppy eyes.

“Oh no, whatever shall I do?” you say sarcastically, fake gasping and bringing a hand up to cover your mouth. Crowley narrows his eyes playfully and sticks his tongue out at you. He pushes back from the Angels grip and Aziraphale sits back on his calves, hands continuing to rest gently on Crowleys lean waist. You get a sense that the demon is actively trying to push you as Crowleys cock twitches when he makes a show of running his hand down his chest, inching closer to his own dick. You know he’s definitely testing your patience on purpose, but you keep your face neutral when you speak. He knows you’re the one in charge here and you won’t give him the satisfaction of letting him see the flash of agitation that courses through you.

“Crowley,” you say warningly, voice low as you keep your eyes on his face. He freezes the movement of his hand and reluctantly rests both hands on Aziraphales shoulders. Crowleys behavior isn’t unusual though, as he usually tries to see how much he can tip toe the line before you punish him and it’s clear he just wants to act like a brat tonight. You sniff once and decide to ignore him, knowing it’ll piss him off. You look at Aziraphale, who gives you a sweet smile, letting his palms rest on the tops of his thighs now. You return the smile, feeling your love for the Angel blossom warmly in your chest. He’s such a good boy for you.

“Angel, you’ve been so good, you can relax for a moment, why don’t you come here and sit next to me,” you purr, praising him. He blushes and you see his pretty pink cock kick at your sweet praise. He eagerly nods his head and starts to move away from Crowley, who makes a noise of protest in response.

“Yes my love,” he replies obediently, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, close to you, with his feet on the floor. He leans his weight back on his hands as he angles his body slightly toward you. His cock leans against his lower belly, drooling slightly and he obeys the unspoken rule of not touching himself.

You reach over to run your fingers through the Angels soft hair once affectionately. You get a soft hum in return. Focusing back on Crowley you move your fingers in a come hither motion, waiting for Crowley to obey you. Surprisingly he does so without protest, crawling forward on his knees and then sitting on his haunches in front of you. You glance at Aziraphale, making sure he’s watching. You know it turns the Angel on, he loves to witness you be more dominant, especially when it’s directed at the demon. Your eyes meet his pretty blue ones and you wink at him, smiling cheekily. The Angel feels a thrill tingle down his spine.

You turn your gaze back to Crowley, who seems to be annoyed he didn’t have your undivided attention. You giggle at his expression, which makes his cheeks turn red. His pretty lips tug into a scowl. You smile, not kindly, and bring your hand up, wrapping your fingers around his jaw tightly, forcing his head straight to look into your eyes. Your fingers press into his warm skin and his snake like eyes widen a bit, tracking back and forth. You make a tsk sound and shake your head softly in disappointment. He watches you, his eyes half lidded. You bend closer, getting into his face and you whisper menacingly, eyes sharp.

“If you try to break my rules again Crowley, I’m gonna have our Angel finger you open and then I’m gonna fuck him instead and make you watch from the side. I’ll tie your hands behind your back if I have too,” you growl, squeezing his jaw tightly as you lean back. Crowley stares at you, unblinking, unable to let his mouth fall open due to your tight grip. Your words sent heat blazing down his spine and straight to his cock. You hear Aziraphales soft groan from your left and you look over at him, admiring the way his hands clench the sheets beneath his fingers, knuckles white. His chest is pink now as well and you can see his dick jump occasionally as he watches you and Crowley. You smirk and look back at Crowley when he whines in his throat.

“Do you hear me?” you ask firmly, raising an eyebrow. Crowley nods the best he can. “Say it,” you demand, dropping your grip on his jaw.

“Y-yes I understand my love,” he chokes out, chewing on his bottom lip. You nod once in approval. Moving away from them both, you slip around to the side of the bed, getting up and crawling to lay down near the headboard. The two of them have turned to watch you, eyes lustful as they watch you lay your head on one of the pillows. You bend your legs and plant your feet, digging your toes into the soft sheets below. Raising up on your elbows, you give the others a pointed look, seeing as they both have remained silent.

“Well? Come here my pretty little demon, sit in my lap,” you purr, fingers coming up to motion him forward. Crowley wastes no time and crawls up the bed toward you, looking excited at what’s to come. He gets between your legs and slips through, a leg on each side of your hips as he sits down. The movement causes his hard, overly heated cock to make contact with the cool material of the strap on and he jolts a little, rubbing his cock further against yours and he cries out. Your hands shoot out to grip his waist, keeping him still and he shifts his weight, getting used to the feeling. Once you’ve got him steady you decide it’s time to get your Angel involved.

“Angel,” you call out, “do you mind coming up here and stretching open our bratty demon please? I’ll give you a treat afterwards,” Smirking, you run your thumbs over Crowleys hip bones and he moans lowly. You hear Aziraphale giggle happily.

“Of course dear, you know I love getting him ready,” he teases. You hear the sheets rustle as he comes up behind Crowley, hearing the sharp cracking sound of skin on skin as the demon yelps and you giggle. Crowley scowls at you as Aziraphale bends him over, forcing the demon to place a hand on either side of your head to balance his weight and expose his pretty arse. You frame his face with your hands, thumbs running over his cheeks.

“What’s wrong you naughty little demon? I thought you liked getting spanked,” you tease, grinning cheekily. His frown deepens and he pokes your cheek.

“Don’t be mean doll,” he says, letting his head hang between his shoulders as he lets out a low groan. You can’t see what’s going on but you know Azirphale must’ve started fingering him. You remember the feel of having your fingers sucked into Crowleys tight, slick heat and your pussy aches to be filled. You try to ignore the sensation and your lips pull into an amused smile as you hear the little choked moans Crowley lets out as his arse is stretched open by the Angels thick fingers. You’re no stranger to the feeling and you know Crowleys on cloud 9.

“How many fingers has he taken Angel?” you ask curiously after a moment, letting go of the demons face and running your fingers through Crowleys soft red hair as he lets his weight relax onto your chest, forehead on the mattress right next to your head, arse propped up into the air. The slick tip of Crowleys cock leaves a sticky kiss on your lower belly when he shifts his weight. You shiver lightly as you feel what must be Aziraphales free hand, smoothly tickling his fingers up your inner thigh, wanting to touch you too. You moan gently at his touch.

“He’s already taken two, seems as if our dearest was eager for this,” he teases, with a sweet laugh as he presses his fingers inside of Crowley again, making the demon jolt forward. His arms instantly snake under your head and around your neck as he buries his face into your neck.

“Ah!” he cries out, thrusting his hips forward, accidentally rubbing the tip of his flushed cock against yours again, which makes him curse loudly. You grit your teeth because by this point, listening to them both, feeling Crowley writhe around as he’s finger fucked, you’re so unbelievably turned on, so wet you can feel it trail from your pussy down to your arse. The ache for one of them to fill you is so strong. Your cheeks burn, but you have enough self control and a plan to get through this. You know one of them is going to be fucking you at the end. So, trying to shove your own arousal down your throat, you continue to shower Crowley with filthy, sweet nothings as he gets stretched open.

“Oh my you cheeky little pup, is the Angel making your sweet arse feel so good? Hmm pretty baby?” you coo to Crowley, wrapping your arms around his upper back to keep him in place with his arse in the air. Crowley always loves any sort of dirty talk that flows from your mouth.

“Oh fuck! Yes, yes so good, shit, please love, want you inside of me, I want to ride you,” he pants, moaning against your neck, his breath heating your skin. He writhes in your hold and tightens his arms around your neck, letting out a whimper. You hum in acknowledgment, deciding to check in with Aziraphale, if nothing else but to annoy the demon further.

“Is he ready Angel?” you ask casually, running your hand up and down Crowleys upper back. You see Aziraphales adoring smile as you look over Crowleys shoulder and the Angel nods quickly.

“Yes dear, our old boy is definitely ready, he’s being such a good boy and taking all of what I give him,” Aziraphale praises, running his free hand soothingly over Crowleys lower back. The demon just moans in response, teeth digging in slightly at the base of your neck. You feel another heady pulse of arousal in your pussy at the sharp sting of his teeth and you bite your lower lip hard enough you think it might split. Letting out a breath of air steadily through your nose you reply, letting him know just what you had in mind for him.

“Good job Angel, I told you I wouldn’t leave you out yeah? I want you to sit on my face and let me eat your sweet arse while Crowley rides me okay?” you say, voice gentle but with no room for argument. You know Aziraphale gets shy admitting it but he loves sitting on your face and letting you lick at his hole until he cums hard, hips moving wildly. You fucking love it and you usually save it for times like this. Getting crushed under the Angels soft, thick thighs, you’d die happily. You hear the choked out moan that leaves lips as he slips his fingers free from Crowley and crawls out from behind the demon, who did let out a groan at the feeling of loss.

“Yes love, whatever you say,” he says easily, trying to keep his voice casual as he maneuvers himself until he’s sitting next your head on his haunches. You laugh, amused.

“Shit, that’s gonna make me cum so fast if I’m watching you eat his arse and riding you,” Crowley whimpers, complaining into your skin. You grin wickedly and unwind your arms from his shoulders. You push at his chest, getting him unstick himself from you and sit up in your lap.

“Well that’s good because I’m not letting you touch your cock this time, you wanted this so bad? Well you’re gonna work for it,” you tell him, running your hands over his slender thighs. His lips turn downward into a pout but he doesn’t argue, not so secretly loving being bossed around by you. You hear Aziraphale chuckle gently from beside you.

“Okay my little love, can we please get on with it?” Crowley says, wiggling his hips impatiently. He’s still hard and his cock bobs with his movements. Your pink tongue darts out to run it over you lips and you pat the sides of his hips, urging him to raise up. He raises to his knees but you think this would probably start out better if he got onto his feet.

“Crowley, love, I want you to get into a squatting position to ride me, it’ll be better that way,” you say, watching his eyebrows raise.

“Are you bloody serious? That’s gonna be so much harder!” he whines. You just stare at him, letting him know it’s an order not a suggestion. He purses his lips and dramatically moves into position. Planting his feet and leaning forward to brace his hands gently on your chest, squeezing your breasts.

“Don’t be such a brat, you know I’ll help you if you need it sweet thing,” you coo, smirking up at him. You bring your hand down to grip the base of your cock, wrapping your fingers around it and bracing it upwards, running the tip of it over Crowleys still very slick hole and you watch his eyes flutter as he moans and starts to sink downwards.

“Fine, fine, just don’t tease,” he pants, tilting his head down to watch you start to stretch his arse and disappear inside of him. You bring your free hand to his hip and tilt them towards you by an inch and just like that the head pops in, past his rim. He lets out a choked out sound, hands gripping your breasts tightly. You bite the tip of your tongue and let go of your cock while he seats himself fully, letting your cock stretch his sensitive rim completely. You let your hands rest on the sheets as you study him.

You’re letting Crowley adjust to your cock filling his arse for a second when you hear a soft whine come from your right side. You turn your head to see Aziraphale still sitting on his calves, clenching his hands into fists where they rest on his thighs, face bright red. You see his cock twitch a couple times, coming back to slap softly against his belly. You can tell how worked up he is by now. You know it won’t take too much to push him over the edge. He must be on the edge of bursting from not touching himself all this time. He’s such a good Angel for listening and you definitely didn’t forget about him.

“Oh don’t worry my sweet, I didn’t forget about you, I’m gonna let you sit on my face soon okay? I’m just letting our princess here get adjusted, you’re being such a good Angel for me,” you say soothingly, reaching a hand out rub his thigh.

“I know my love, it’s just so enchanting watching the way Crowley rides you,” he says, brushing hair off your forehead. You smile smugly.

“Well enjoy the show then Angel,” you tease and turn back to face Crowley, who seems to have his bearings about him again. You slip your hands under his arse, gripping his flesh, and press upwards, biceps flexing as he raises up. He uses his thighs and feet to balance as he starts to ride you with your help. He lets go of your breasts and braces his hands on his knees, using them as leverage as he starts to bounce. As you help him get into a rhythm you feel your own arousal hit you like a freight train again. You watch where your cock slides into Crowley, filling him over and over while his mouth hangs open. His eyes are shut and he looks so fucking sexy bouncing on your cock.

“Fuck Crowley,” you breathe, “you look absolutely unbelievable. Does it feel good sweet thing?” you purr, voice soft as your arms start to ache a bit from helping him move. He opens his eyes to look at you, letting out a whine. He feels his legs start to burn a little bit, but the angle is fucking amazing and he’s able to hit that spot that makes his entire body shake, pleasure shooting through his limbs like electricity every time. It easily makes him feel like he’s gonna cum in no time at all.

“Shit! Ah, fuck, yes it feels so so good darling,” he babbles as he jolts harshly. You think he must’ve been hitting his sweet spot. Thinking you can probably let him keep up the pace on his own now, you take your hands out from under him. Looking over to Aziraphale he seems to be entranced watching the demon ride you.

“Aziraphale, sit on my face lovely,” you say softly, snapping him out of it. He looks down at you and nods eagerly. “Kiss me first though Angel,” you request, smiling coyly.

“Yes, okay, I’m so ready dear,” he says, voice bright as he bends down, pressing his soft lips to yours firmly. You moan into his mouth as he rolls his lips firmly against yours a few times. You bite his bottom lip sharply and turn your head, breaking the kiss. You wink at him in approval and he takes that as his cue to raise to his knees, shuffling closer and throwing a leg over your head. He’s facing Crowley as he hovers over your mouth, making heated eye contact with the demon, noticing Crowley was watching the two of you kiss as he kept a steady rhythm bouncing on your cock.

You see the Angels thick arse above you and your tongue runs over your bottom lip. For now you resist the urge to bite roughly into his fleshy arse. Wanting to move on you shift your weight and raise your head up to press a soft kiss on Aziraphales arse cheek. You hear the Angel moan lowly. Before you pull the Angel down to devour him, you speak to Crowley once more.

“Crowley my love, you can ride me however you like, but don’t touch yourself, you’re cumming untouched, is that clear?” you say, voice steady and strong. You hear him whine, but he must agree because you feel him sit down fully. He maneuvers his legs until he’s on his knees again. Crowely starts to roll his hips back and forth in your lap, groaning when your cock presses firmly against his sweet spot. You think that’s good enough, not having the patience to make the demon speak. You snake one arm under the Angel and wrap it around Aziraphales thigh. You use the other hand to spank his arse sharply, digging your nails in there and spreading him open. It allows you to see his pretty pink hole. You hear a soft gasp from the Angel as you blow cool air over his heated flesh, feeling goosebumps erupt under the fingers on his thigh.

“Oh- doll, please,” Aziraphale whines. You take mercy on him and pull on his thigh, forcing him to sit and make contact with your mouth. He cries out loudly when he feels your wet, warm tongue swipe over his hole, he digs his fingers into his thighs. You let go of his arse cheek and wrap both arms around his thighs, holding him close as you start to run your tongue up and down over his warm hole, massaging the swirl of skin with your tongue, getting him wet. You feel his thighs tense next to your head.

You start a steady pace with your mouth, licking firmly and dipping the tip of your tongue shallowly in his hole a few times. When you take a moment to suck on the soft skin with your lips it sounds like someone ripped the sounds from the Angels chest. Aziraphales letting out sharp ah sounds with every movement of your tongue, panting hard. You feel Crowley start to bounce again, he must’ve been watching before but he’s moving quickly now. The way his thighs smack against your pelvis has your insides twisting with want. You hear the little whines spilling from his mouth. Aziraphale starts to wail when you press your tongue deeper into his hole, wiggling the warm muscle in as much as you can. You moan against him and he feels the vibrations in his cock.

“Oh! Hah, love-ah! Your mouth, it feels so amazing, I may not last much longer,” Aziraphale whines, rocking his hips. You feel a bit surprised he’s already this close to cumming but you do think about how he hasn’t been able to touch himself this entire time. Fingering Crowley open and then watching him ride you. He must’ve been really close to the edge already. You pull him tighter and really get to work, jaw aching from the effort.

“Already Angel?” Crowley pants, teasing him slightly. Crowley leans forward to brace his hands on the bed by your chest. Aziraphale laughs breathlessly as he rolls his hips back and forth over your mouth, holding onto his thighs for balance.

“You’re one to talk dear, you already look like you’re going to combust,” he cuts off with a groan. Aziraphale can feel the tightening sensation in his belly, cock drooling and jumping as your pretty mouth licks firm stripes against his hole again and again. Crowley isn’t any better, his thighs ache but he won’t have to do much more to make himself cum. Riding you, watching you eat the Angels arse, it’s all too much. Crowley burns, skin sticky with sweat and his limbs tingle pleasurably as the demon climbs the sweet peak of his orgasm.

You take the chance to move a hand from the Angels thigh to wrap around the middle of his shaft. You start to pump your hand quickly, sucking harshly on the soft skin of his hole. The Angels eyes widen, breath catching his chest as his heart hammers, so close to cumming. The next soft lick of your tongue makes Aziraphale still, he throws his head back, his voice loud enough to reach the heavens as he wails, thighs clenching around your head. He’s cumming hard, limbs filling with molten lava as his cock throbs in your hand and he covers it with his sticky release.

“Angel! Oh for fucks sake, that’s not fucking fair,” Crowley gasps, unable to hold back his orgasm any longer. The demons eyes trained on the way Aziraphales face twists in pleasure, his cheeks flushed and his cum all over your hand. He fucks himself back on your cock, two, three more times before he’s sitting down fully, eyes squeezing shut as he rolls his hips. His dick kicks, cum spurting out all over your belly.

“That’s it Crowley, good job dear boy,” Aziraphale purrs, letting you slowly pump his shaft as he gets over sensitive. Feeling your tongue flick slowly over his hole, he groans in his throat. You let go of his cock, patting his thigh twice and the Angel slips off your face to lay on the bed beside you, trying to recover. The Angel must’ve miracled the mess away because you no longer find yourself covered in their releases.

You wipe your saliva covered mouth with the back of your hand, tilting your head up to look at Crowley, who’s still sitting fully in your lap. Hands still braced on either side of you. He’s breathing heavily, chest flushed. You hum happily, seeing both of your boys have been satisfied.

“Look at you Crowley, you were so good, making yourself cum on my cock,” you praise him. He laughs softly, but winces as he raises himself off of your cock, flopping down on your right side. You start to feel where the material of the straps has been digging into your skin and you undo them, pulling them out from under you and taking the strap on off. You sigh in relief and lean up to toss it off to the side, before laying flat.

“Feeling okay my loves?” you ask lovingly, resting a hand on each of their chests. Twin sounds of agreement reach you ears. You’re feeling very content with the evening. Of course, you had hoped one of them would have enough energy to slip inside of you afterwards and make you cum so hard you saw stars, but you knew it didn’t always happen when you wore them out. Really you don’t mind having to take care of yourself sometimes. You let them rest, listening to the sounds of their breathing and take your hand off of the Angels chest to trail it down your belly aiming to touch your clit.

It shocks you when a hand grips your wrist stopping you, it was Aziraphales. You turn to look at him, eyes slightly wide. He raises an eyebrow and smiles shyly.

“I don’t think so my love, let me return the favor,” he says sweetly, letting go of your wrist and sitting up to move around and get in between your thighs. You hear Crowley chuckle from your other side and you look at him as you feel Aziraphale scoot even closer, rubbing his once again hard cock through your slick folds. You shiver and let out a groan.

“We wouldn’t leave you unsatisfied love, especially not after taking care of us so well,” he purrs, smirking and propping himself up on an elbow to watch. You feel Aziraphale guide his cock into your aching pussy, stretching you deliciously as he bottoms out in one thrust. It sends warm waves of pleasure through all your limbs. This feeling is what you’ve been waiting for all night and your back arches into the movement. You wail, letting your eyes flutter shut. The pleasure is unbelievable after waiting for so long, tingles dancing up your spine and warmth pooling quickly in your belly.

You pull the Angel down swiftly and dig your nails into his back, wrapping your legs around his hips as he fucks into you fast and rough. He snakes his arms under your back and you let him pound you into the mattress. He makes you cum so hard your vision gets blurry. In the end he makes you cum at least three times. The other two finishing at least once more. Crowley jerking himself off from the side as he watches the Angel fuck you. The three of you end up in a pile under the covers on your shared bed, sleeping soundly. The next morning you wake up thinking that sly demon does have some truly great ideas.

[the-kr8tor]

Heatwave

Feat: The cats 😺😻😾

Pairing: Hobie Brown x gn! Reader/ Spider-Punk x gn! Reader

Word count: 1.7k

Synopsis: You and Hobie try to survive a record breaking heatwave.

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, established relationship, some miscommunication, FLUFF, lovestruck Hobie.

A continuation of this fic

My Masterlist

*I don't consent to having my work translated/ published on other platforms*

You groan loudly, as if it helps make the air cooler, but alas it doesn't work that way. It certainly doesn't help that the air-conditioning in your building completely fizzled out last night, resulting in you and Hobie waking up sweaty and grumpy.

You breathe heavily through the humidity, but the sweltering heat doesn't make it any easier.

The cats don't help too, especially that they're currently blocking the air flow from your single working fan. Crumpet,Teacup and Crowley lay sprawled across a cooling mat, Crowley looks back at you every minute or so, checking to see if you've melted into a puddle.

Teacup, the ever spoiled baby, mewls towards you, as if to say it's time for their hourly wipe of their paws with a cold damp cloth. She's lucky you love her. She's been relishing the attention lately, especially time spent with Hobie, you can't help but get jealous sometimes, this is what Hobie probably feels like with Crowley attached to your hip.

You reluctantly stand up, stretching to your full height, arms wide, you cringe at the sweat clinging to your back, arms, legs and clothes, it's safe to say you're covered in it. You grimace at how tacky your clothes feel on you, your tank top must look like an abstract painting from behind. You lick your lips in a futile attempt to keep them moist, feeling the cracks of skin underneath your tongue.

You grab the designated cloth to soak it in the sink, at the same time you open the fridge to grab another ice pack. Thank goodness you have a stock of them for whenever Hobie comes home bruised. You wish you don't have an abundance of it though, you hate it when Hobie gets hurt.

Teacup meows loudly, telling you to hurry up.

"Alright, alright! 'm coming, you big baby" not noticing your words slurring together. You lift up the cloth, wringing off the excess water.

You stride towards the cats, carefully patting the cloth on their paws, while checking their fur for any tangles. Making sure their water bowls aren't empty.

After rubbing their paws you move to pet Crumpet, moving your fingers on her head, and scratching behind her ear. She purrs under your touch.

You're concerned about Crumpet, she's a lot older than the other two, so you're taking more time to be more attentive towards her.

You rub her thick fur absentmindedly, the air from the fan blowing on your lashes. Your mind wanders back to Hobie, how is he faring in this temperature? Especially in his suit, you practically had to beg him to leave his leather vest at home.

"I always wear it, love, I don't feel complete without it"

"Yeah, I know for the aesthetic," you change your tone, you don't want to fight, "but damn it, just for today please, I don't want you getting heatstroke" you sigh at his stubbornness.

For added effect Crumpet meows at Hobie, backing you up.

Hobie sighs in defeat, "fine," he drops the vest haphazardly over your bed, you think he's mad.

He leans over kissing your cheek, it's too hot to give you a proper kiss, you curse at the temperature, depriving you of affection. "don't forget to drink water, yeah?"

"Mmhm, you too. Take breaks, okay?" you move to hug him, but you recoil your hands back, thinking the added heat might make him more agitated. Hobie thinks you're mad at him.

You wanted to convince him to leave his leather boots and wear his trainers instead, but it might've been all in vain, since he's already opening the window to swing away.

That was hours ago, you hope he's okay, and keeping hydrated. You wish he wasn't mad at you.

Putting the ice pack on your head, you lean against your sofa, watching the cats stay cool.

You zone out, not hearing the familiar thump of heavy boots.

Hobie thinks you're ignoring him, shit you look mad, your face scrunched up into a scowl, sweat dripping on your forehead.

He crosses the small distance, the cats lay sprawled on their mat, the only indication that they noticed him is their heads slightly following his movements, even Crowley refuses to scowl at him. It's hot even for the little hell spawn.

Hobie grabs the cool can inside his little plastic bag, it rustles, but you still haven't looked at him. Fuck he should've kissed you goodbye better.

You feel the cold can on your cheek, waking you up from your daze. You feel sluggish. Craning your neck towards Hobie, you give him a small smile.

"Hey, you're home, early" your eyes slightly glossy.

"Yeah, even villains are too hot to commit crime" he notices your eyes, "when did you last drink water?"

You grab the cold can of soda from his hands, your hands shake trying to open the lid. "Um, I'm about to drink now"

"Shit, sweetheart, that's not enough" he grabs the can from your hands, earning a small "hey" from you. "Let me get you some water, yeah?"

Hobie rushes towards the kitchen, shit how long have you last drank? You must've been too busy taking care of the cats that you forgot about yourself. He doesn't blame you though, those cats are your family. He should've checked in on you on one of his breaks.

Glass in hand, he webs himself towards the living room, so he can get to you faster. You hate it when Hobie leaves his webs inside, but he'll apologize and clean it up later.

Hobie brings the cold glass to your chapped lips, you empty it in a flash, water drips from your chin, he wipes it with his thumb.

"There, you're gonna feel better in a minute" he sighs when color comes back to your lips.

"Can I have the soda now?" You tilt your head prettily.

Hobie opens the can for you before giving it back, "lemme change and I'll get you another glass, yeah?" He rubs the sweat clinging on to your eyebrows, messing up the strands. He chuckles at your unruly brows.

"What's so funny?" You pout against the mouth of the can.

"Nothing" he pecks your forehead, ignoring the sweat. That kiss will have to do for now, he has to make up a lot of kisses for the lack of love he gave you that morning.

Hobie basically tears his suit off him, sweat clings inside, he should shower. He should also try and fix your aircon, but he doesn't want to leave your side, you were on the brink of heat stroke when he arrived, Hobie needs to watch over you till you're better, and the cats need attention too, he still hasn't won over Crowley yet. He's made it his personal mission since he met the rascal.

Crowley settles next to you, the fog clouding your mind slowly dissipating. You sigh with your eyes closed.

"Oi no sleeping" Hobie places another cold glass in your hands in exchange for the soda. He's now wearing an old band shirt that he's kept at your place. Hobie doesn't have shorts, so he just went for his boxers.

He sits next to you, with Crowley in between. Hobie stretched his legs in front of him, his toned legs in full display.

"Here," Hobie hands you a fresh cloth "nevermind c'mere" you happily lean towards him, "you need to take care of yourself too y'know" He dabs the cloth on your neck, drying it.

"I know," you sigh "I was just worried about the cats and you, it must've been hard being in that heat all day"

He hums too engrossed in wiping you dry. You take this as Hobie still being angry at you.

"Are you still mad at me?" You ask in a small voice. wringing your hands anxiously.

"What?" He stops his movements, "I thought you were the one who's angry" he grabs your hands, smoothing the skin with his thumbs, trying to calm your thoughts. "Why would I be mad?"

"Because of the vest thing" you look up at him through your lashes. "I thought, you might've looked at it like I'm trying to change you, I'm not, I like you just the way you are"

Crowley watches the scene with pensive eyes. Crumpet sneezes in her sleep, while teacup curls near Hobie's foot.

"I'm not mad about that, I understand you were looking out for me, and I was too bloody stubborn" he kisses each of your knuckles, his warm breath calms your nerves. You know he isn't good with his words, sometimes opting for showing what he means through his actions.

" 'm not mad either, I shouldn't have pushed you" you lay your head against the couch cushion.

"Nah, I want you to make me, you keep me in line, love. You're right I would've gotten heatstroke with it on" he softly lays your hands on Crowley, he returns to his previous action, wiping at the soft skin on your hip.

"Imagine, I fainted while swinging" he jokes but you glare at him.

"Not funny, Hobart"

"Now, you're mad" He chuckles as he moves the cloth over your nose.

"Augh!" You swat at the piece of wet cloth "that's disgusting!"

"It's your own sweat, lovey" Hobie smiles lopsidedly.

"Next time, wear your trainers instead of boots too?" You ask shyly.

"Alright, for you, yeah"

You nod, finally convincing him "you took care of yourself out there?" You cup his jaw, making circular patterns over his skin with your thumb.

"Yeah, took breaks, hydrated, can't say the same thing for you though"

"I know, I'll do better next time" you sigh, thumping your head on his shoulder.

"Oi" he shakes you with his shoulder "I still owe you that kiss"

You laugh, Crowley perks up at the sound "and I still owe you a hug"

"What are you waiting for? Come up here and get it" a smile creeping on the corner of his lips.

You lean up, head staying on his shoulder, Hobie does all the work, he cranes his neck down as he holds the back of your head, guiding you towards his lips. You sigh into his lips, ignoring the sweat forming on his upper lip.

You cling on to his shirt, slowly moving your arms around him, he kisses deeper.

By some sort of miracle the aircon comes to life, blowing much needed cold air into your flat. You both decide to ignore it, while you climb on his lap, so his neck wouldn't strain. He holds your back, anchoring you.

Crowley meows at the both of you trying to get your attention away from Hobie.

A/N: thanks for reading! Hope you liked it! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated ❤️❤️❤️

*picture above is from pinterest*

My requests are open! Check out my rules.

[crheativity]

is it okay to request platonic angst of leaving twisted wonderland and saying goodbye to the adeuce duo and Grim? I didn't see if you had a character limit, but if you do, feel free to ignore this or just do it with grim

SUMMARY: The time has come for you to depart from Twisted Wonderland. But surely Ace, Deuce and Grim will hear from you soon, right…?

WARNINGS: This is sad I nearly cried

COMMENTS: oh my GOSH writing angst is hard ahahaha. I seriously teared up writing this. I’m not sure if this is exactly what you wanted, but this is the first thing my mind came up with. Sorry this took so long, and I hope you enjoy it!!

(also, because this made me sad, I wrote a part two that can be found here. I hope you don’t mind!)

“Are you sure this’ll work?” Deuce fretted, wringing his shirt so hard you thought it was going to rip. He’d finally stopped pacing, at least. Moving to face you, his eyes locked on to yours, searching for any hint of doubt.

“Seriously dude, that’s the seventh time you’ve asked that in the past twenty minutes.” Ace complained loudly from his position propped against the wall. “Can you stop acting like a mother hen for five minutes? You’re starting to make me anxious,” he added, muttering under his breath.

The three of you and Grim were standing in the Mirror Hall as you double and triple checked your luggage, which Grim was perched on top of. He’d been strangely quiet ever since Crowley had summoned the both of you to his office.

Crowley had calmly explained that he (in his generosity) had finally found a way for you to return home. Grim had congratulated you and helped you pack, just as the others had, but most times he just remained quiet. You figured this was him trying to be strong for you. The thought brought the sting of tears to your eyes. You hastily blinked them back. Now was not the time.

“It’ll be alright, don’t worry.” You looked up and gave your friends the most reassuring smile you could muster, despite the lump in your throat and the niggling doubts in the back of your mind. “Crowley gave me his word that this’d work.”

Three sets of mouths immediately fell open as Ace, Deuce and Grim stared at you in horror. Your grin widened as you enjoyed the moment, before deciding to put them out of their misery. “Relax you guys. I also checked with Malleus, Lilia, Idia and Ortho. All of them said that there is no reason they could think of that my phone should not still work in my world, as long as I can charge it. And I can.”

A collective sigh of relief flooded the room. Ace walked over and punched you lightly in the arm.

“Not funny, Prefect. That’s Deuce’s last clean shirt and you scared him so bad he almost ripped it in half just now.”

“Ah- hey! This isn’t my last clean shirt!” Deuce protested, rolling his eyes.

“Oh yeah?” Ace retorted. He crossed his arms and stared at Deuce, his eyes narrowing. “That’s weird. If that’s the case then why are there so many random clothes strewn across the floor of our dorm?”

“Those are yours!”

“Enough, guys.” You sighed, tired of their bickering. “This might be the last time we see each other face to face for a while. Do you really wanna spend it bickering about clothes?”

Both boys shared a glance and then sighed.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Prefect. Sorry, Ace.” Deuce mumbled. He looked away, fidgeting with his jacket sleeve.

“It’s not your fault,” Ace sighed, “I’m the one who started it. My bad, you guys.”

“Ah, how nice to see three - ah, forgive me, two and a half - of my freshmen getting along so well! Surely this must have something to do with my excellent guidance as headmage, hm?” Crowley spoke suddenly, making the four of you jump. None of you had noticed him come in. The sight of him made your hopes soar and your heart sink.

It was time to go.

Ace opened his mouth and grumbled something that made Deuce stand on his foot. You had to repress a slight giggle as Ace glared at Deuce.

“Well then, shall we get cracking?” Crowley strode towards the Dark Mirror, evidently ignoring Ace and Deuce’s exchange.

Sharing a worried glance with your friends, the four of you made your way towards the Dark Mirror. Ace gently scooped Grim into his arms as Deuce grabbed your bag - you’d only needed one - and carried it to the mirror, which had begun to glow.

“If you’d like to say any last goodbyes, now would be the time. My, aren’t I generous for allowing you all a second last goodbye?” Crowley exclaimed as he got to work with the Mirror, which glowed ever brighter by the second.

You turned to face the others and Deuce immediately pulled you into a bone crushing hug. You readily accepted, wrapping your arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze.

“Come on guys, really?” Ace complained. Deuce immediately grabbed him and pulled him into the hug. He - and Grim, still sitting in his arms - didn’t resist.

“It- it’ll be okay.” You managed, hating how nervous you sounded. “Crowley and the others have said they’ll look for a way for me to come and visit. And- and I’ll be looking too, alright? So we’ll probably see each other soon.”

You pulled away from the hug just in time to see Ace and Deuce exchange worried glances. Then, looking back to you, they both nodded in sync.

Just as Grim burst into tears.

Scooping the cat from Ace’s arms you hugged him tight. Forcing hot tears away, you held him as long as you could, but all too soon a hand landed on your shoulder.

“It’s time.” Crowley spoke softly and gently - almost kindly.

“Don’t forget to text us as soon as you get through.” Deuce said. His eyes were red and his voice was full of emotion.

“Yeah, or else we’ll have to come looking for you.” Ace said with a smirk, gesturing to himself, Deuce and Grim, who was still sniffling. You could tell he was trying to be the strong one, as the other two were in tears.

You smiled at him - at all of them.

“Thank you guys. For everything.”

Ace’s smile faltered.

Turning around so you wouldn’t have to see them cry, you picked up your bags and stared at the mirror.

You didn’t want to leave.

Everyone had been so kind to you here. There had been ups and downs, but everything had seemed worth it. You were with people who’d walk to the ends of the land for you, and you would do the same for them.

You felt your resolve breaking. You couldn’t leave, you just couldn’t.

Digging deep for some scrap of resolve, you forced one foot in front of the other.

You didn’t look back.

♥Thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed it!!♥

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! Are there any fics about Nanny Crowley and Bookseller Aziraphale?

Thank you^^

Hi! Here are some nanny Crowley and bookseller Aziraphale fics...

I Hear You're in Need of a Nanny by emptymasks (G)

Aziraphale was trying his best to raise his son on his own, but at a certain point it was difficult to be running the bookshop while also keeping his eyes on Oscar all day. Crowley liked working with children, and children liked him, they’ve just always been drawn to him. A lot of people prefer hiring a female nanny to a male one, and as much as he thinks it’s a little ridiculous, it works out fine for him. He was happy to identify and present as female and tap into his maternal instincts. He’d been wanting to take a job closer to his apartment, but there’s not that many people wanting to hire a nanny in Soho; then he comes across a job advertisement in the local newspaper posted by a Mr. A. Z. Princer. When he meets Oscar, he finds a little girl tired of being told by the world that she's a boy. Single Parent! Aziraphale & Nanny! Crowley, Human AU

The Demon on Her Shoulder Has Her Back by Barely_a_human (T)

"'Hi, Crowley.” “What did you need, dear?” “I’ve- uh- been kicked out of my house. I don’t know where to go, and it’s raining. I’m sorry for bothering you, but you said I could call if I needed anything, and right now I need a grown-up that would be on my side.'" or Crowley adopts a young trans girl named Eve, and she get's to witness the almost-apocalypse, as well as Crowley finding love with an angel, from an outsiders perspective.

dancing queen (guaranteed to blow your mind) by Quilly (T)

Warlock has a secret, and it's that he invited three former staff members from his estranged parents' household to his wedding in the hopes that one of them is the one Nanny is still in love with. Crowley is just wondering what entity he pissed off to make three of his old flames show up the day before his adopted kid's wedding.

Connection by AppleSeeds (M)

In March 2020 when the UK goes into Lockdown, Crowley is faced with the unenviable task of homeschooling Warlock. A silver lining emerges when Warlock starts attending literature classes on Zoom run by local bookseller Aziraphale, who Crowley finds extraordinarily attractive. Crowley jumps at the chance when the opportunity arises to actually talk to Aziraphale away from Warlock and his classmates, and the two of them begin to build a friendship via Zoom. When they realise their friendship could be the beginning of something more, they explore ways to feel connected to each other until the day comes when they can finally be together in real life.

Millennial Blues by comicgeekery (E)

Aziraphale is a standard retail bookseller trying to make ends meet. One day a man named Crowley shows up with a flyer for a variety show looking for new acts. And, well, Crowley is handsome and Aziraphale has been lonely...and working on some magic tricks. What harm could a bit of light flirting do? It all should be fine as long as no one asks about his past...

- Mod D

[quoththemaiden]

A short (~1k) scene inspired by Chapter 9 of @mrghostrat's absolutely glorious Big Name Feelings human AU fic. Hope you like arms?

"C'mon, angel, not even gonna crack a smile at that one? Whales, get it? Whales."

Aziraphale felt like his cheeks were on fire from trying to keep a straight face at Crowley's increasingly terrible puns. "I would hate to tacitly encourage this behavior."

"Pfft, you love it." Crowley grinned at him, far past being undaunted and fully into the realm of being energized by Aziraphale's failed attempts at stoicism.

"You're utterly ridiculous." Aziraphale didn't even bother trying to make it sound like an insult, and the half of the screen taken up by his webcam made it clear his cheeks were as pink as they felt. "And I can't help but feel like you're stalling. Hadn't we agreed to be actually productive today?" Aziraphale didn't mind, really; he did want to keep making steady progress on his art, but if his life could consist of coming home from work and just unwinding with Crowley...

...but, well, that wasn't the purpose of this call.

Crowley groaned. "Yeah, yeah. What a taskmaster."

"It is my job to protect you from rabid fans, after all," Aziraphale teased right back.

"O Brave Guardian, protect me from procrastination!"

"That sounds rather harder than a dragon, I'm afraid. But if you don't get to work, I won't be able to work either, and then you won't get to see the finished piece."

"Urk—" Crowley made a strangled noise and finally reached for his mouse. "You'll actually be working on it?"

Aziraphale nodded before adjusting his webcam to show his tablet a bit more. "I really need to get more practice with this, to get half as confident as I am with physical paints."

"I've seen the drawings you've done! They're fucking brilliant."

Aziraphale laughed. "You've said that about everything I've shown you. I'm starting to think I should send you some stick figures as a test."

"Those would be the most adorable fucking stick figures ever. You could draw a whole comic of just stick figures and I'd reblog it a hundred times."

"That's about what I'd expect you to say, yes." Crowley opened his mouth to protest that his compliments were always earnest, and Aziraphale cut him off. "Weren't you going to start writing?"

"Ngghh, right, yeah. Alright, lemme just pull up my docs and then we'll get started bodydoubling for real." Crowley clicked over to screenshare his window as he opened his fic notes. He'd long since stopped hiding anything from Aziraphale; getting to bounce ideas off of him was too invigorating, and his heart always sang at getting to write down his name with official beta credit. (He'd also long since stopped pretending to himself that he'd ever felt quite the same way about any other beta.)

"Good lord." Aziraphale sounded more than faintly appalled, and Crowley felt offended for a moment before taking a proper look at what was on his screen. It was currently showing the notes he'd made at 3 AM this morning, when he'd woken up from a dream and jotted down what had, at the time, felt like a brilliant scene. As always, he'd had his eyes mostly-closed the whole time and his swipes had been clumsy at best, but as long as it got the general point across, he was always satisfied. It only wound up being a usable scene about half the time, but he wasn't about to turn down free inspiration when he could get it. He quickly read through the imagery he'd written down.

They switch rolled over and opened their eyes. In the still morning sunlight they could set the witchfinder still sleeping cloudy enough to touch: his head ears cradled on his arms, the  misos slack with sleep but still clearly there under surface. The words knew from experience that if he were awakened stable the strength would flour back into them in an instant ray for a fight. The wishes couldn't help but think odd other things they might but tray for as well

Crowley paled. "I— that—"

"I mean, it's. Well. It's rather avant-garde."

Crowley froze. "I, uh—"

"'The misos?' And 'flour?'"

Crowley stuttered out of his bluescreen and hastily opened another tab, the screenshare automatically switching over. Aziraphale had read it, but he clearly hadn't actually understood it. As long as he didn't give him enough time to crack the cipher that was 3 AM notetaking, Crowley could bluff his way through it. "Zuh. Yeah. Wrote that down in the middle of the night when I got an idea of where I wanted to start the next scene off."

"And you could recognize any of that?" The camera jostled a little as Aziraphale shook his head. "I suppose I wouldn't do any better if I tried sketching out an idea in the dark." He picked up his stylus and started doodling simple shapes, warming up and re-acclimatizing himself to the responsiveness of the device. He was still getting used to the new medium, but he was finally starting to see a path forward to making a digital art style that felt authentically his own.

"Yessss." Crowley bit his tongue to cut off the guilty hissing. It definitely didn't help that the webcam was doing a very awkward job of catching the tablet screen but showed a very distracting hint of Aziraphale's forearms. The forearms he had, at 3 AM, apparently woken up from a dream about and been so inspired by that he'd felt the need to immortalize them in fanfiction.

"Well, I shall be interested in seeing how that gets transformed into comprehensible English."

"Right, definitely." Crowley was typing gibberish and backspacing over it quickly, more to hide how much attention he was having to devote to this conversation than out of an actual need to warm up his fingers. "Right, definitely focusing on writing now!"

Aziraphale laughed as he cleared his tablet screen and pulled up his WIP, shifting into concentration mode himself. He did enjoy the early days they had spent where their hours of "bodydoubling" were really nothing more than talking and laughing together, but being able to be quietly productive with someone else, knowing they were there with you without needing to be in the same room, that they were sharing your same wavelength without needing to say a word... that simple sense of togetherness brought with it such a deep feeling of comfort that he thought it might be an even more profound, longer-lasting sense of joy than their early days of giddy laughter had given. The strokes of his stylus turned smoother and more confident as he got into the flow, his eyes focused on his own screen and only vaguely aware of the lines of text growing across Crowley's.

Eventually, Crowley calmed down as well, and the text growing on his screen even started to make sense. And he made sure it had absolutely nothing to do with forearms.

--

Translation of the deleted 3 AM scene:

The witch rolled over and opened their eyes. In the early morning sunlight, they could see the witchfinder still sleeping close enough to touch. His head was cradled on his arms, the muscles slack with sleep but still clearly there under the surface. The witch knew from experience that if he were awakened, the strength would flow back into them in an instant, ready for a fight. The witch couldn't help but think of other things they might be ready for as well.

[avocado-writing]

Yello! I want something fluffy but funny so I thought I’d request an aziraphale x crowley x reader where the reader is tech savvy, and by tech savvy I mean just basic knowledge of gadgets and such, but to crowley and aziraphale, tech savvy. Reader introduces them to a lot of gadgets and they’re both so amazed.

Bonus points for nina and maggie confused in the background because it’s literally just basic things but crowley and aziraphale act like it’s fucking magic (also ik crowley has a smartphone, but still!)

notes: I love this request so much. I really enjoyed writing it! (And don’t worry just because Crowley has a smartphone doesn’t mean he actually knows how to use it, take a look at almost any person above the age of 60)

pairing: aziraphale x gn!reader x crowley

rating: G

“Darling, the printer isn’t working.”

“Have you tried pressing ‘Control + P’, Aziraphale?”

“Yes. It’s not doing anything, devilish thing.”

You sigh, put your book down, and head over to your angel’s desk. He’s trying to print out a screenshot he’s taken of a picture you sent him the other day. It’s a cat meme. He’s rather taken with them, and likes to have copies to look at across the bookshop. You have explained he can just save the image itself but he doesn’t quite seem to understand that. 

“Ah you see Aziraphale, the problem is that you haven’t actually turned it on.”

“Oh!” he exclaims as you reach over to the power switch. The printer lights up and begins to spit out a dozen copies of the image Aziraphale has now lined up in its queue. As you try to force it to stop, Crowley saunters up behind you. 

“Can you help me get these to connect? They’re not—”

“Yes, one second,” you say, thumping the machine as it makes a sharp noise, and handing a pile of print-outs to Aziraphale. “Headphones again?”

Crowley nods, a little petulantly. You fish out the buds and put them in your ears, waiting until you see they’ve connected on the Bluetooth. 

“Here,” you sigh. You wonder if any of this is actually worth it. Yes, it’s nice for the three of you to have a group chat, but having to constantly remind them that most of these devices have to be connected to electricity is grating on you a little. 

“Oh, I’ve just got a message from Nina on my mobile telephone!” Aziraphale announces. You see him pause over the passcode screen and you brace for him to ask you what it is, again, but he remembers at the last second. “She asks if you can go over and help with the tills, she says they’re… well, I’m not going to repeat what she’s written here but in nicer terms they seem to have broken.”

“Aziraphale please stop telling her that I’m some sort of tech genius. I’m not. I just know how to press buttons correctly.”

“Come on, believe in yourself,” yells Crowley. You roll your eyes and take out one of his headphones. 

“Crowley, I can hear you over your music! You don’t need to shout!”

He sniffs. “It’s a podcast actually.”

“I can tell her that but she might be disappointed,” Aziraphale says, looking at you with Those Eyes. He’ll win, he’ll always win, because you can’t say no to him. You groan. 

“Alright. Tell her I’m on my way - but not to get her hopes up!”

Aziraphale beams at you. As you leave the shop, the printer tells him it’s run out of ink, so he goes about ordering an entirely new one off the internet. 

-

taglist: @angiestopit @dazed-soul @smile-eywa @staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @candlewitch-cryptic @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided @cool-iguana @bdffkierenwalker @ilyatan @civil-groupie @foolishprincipalitee

[kaleldobrev]

To the Rescue (3) — Take Me Back Series

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Series Summary: After making a deal to bring you back, Sam doesn't see you until years later when your paths cross during a case

Original Prompt: Requested by anonymous | Hi, I just joined Tumblr and came across your blog, it's wonderful! I'd like to make a request, something between Sam and reader. The reader dies and Sam makes a pact to bring her back, but she comes back without remembering him and the hunting life. He thinks it's best to stay away from her. Years later they meet and she falls in love with him all over again, and when they kiss she regains her memory. Do you like it?

Chapter Word Count: 2.7k

Chapter Warnings: Cursing (8x), Minor Character Death

Authors Note: When I originally wrote this it was 1.2k. With editing it turned into 2.7k | One more part after this folks! Sorry for the cliffhanger in advance | Flashbacks are in italics | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Pulling up to your house, Sam felt as though his stomach was in knots. It wasn’t like it was the first time he had seen your house, but this time it was different. It wasn’t just a normal driveway he was used to doing to make sure that you were safe every once in a while.

“You okay?” Dean asked, snapping Sam out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m…I’m fine,” Sam lied.

“Alright,” Dean began, opening up his glove compartment and taking out his gun. “Let’s go boy wonder,” he grinned.

Walking up to your front door, the biggest sense of dread starting washing over him as he started to think that maybe something was wrong. “You know, I don’t think she’s home. She usually parks her car in the driveway.”

“Maybe she actually parks inside her garage?” Dean suggested.

Sam looked at him, full well knowing that you wouldn’t be able to park inside your garage — it had too much stuff in it to park your car. It was more of a storage unit than anything. “Trust me on this one.”

“Wow, you really do stalk her uh?” Dean grinned.

“Not stalk, just concerned,” Sam corrected.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night,” Dean said, patting his brother on the shoulder. Y/N would help me sleep better at night, Sam thought.

Taking a small deep breath, Sam knocked on your door, hoping that you somehow broke your pattern of parking in the driveway. It had been a couple of weeks since he’s done a drive by, so maybe you did have enough room in your garage now; but knowing you, you hadn’t cleaned it out.

“She’s not here,” Sam said quickly, and he turned on his heels about to leave your front porch. But Dean stopped him, grabbing onto the back of his jacket to bring him back. “What?”

“You don’t wanna check if she’s inside the house?” Dean asked. “What if she’s —”

“She’s not here Dean. Trust me,” Sam said, his voice a little stern. “The more time we’re here, the less time we actually have to go and find her. Now let’s go and check the shelter. I’ll try and call her on the way there.”

Dean went to open up his mouth to protest, but he knew that his brother was right. “Alright,” he agreed. As much as he wanted to check if you were inside the house, Dean trusted Sam when it came to his gut feeling; especially since this was concerning you.

You didn’t know how long you’ve been tied to this chair, but it felt like hours at this point. Mel or whatever her name actually was just talking your ear off; and it wasn’t even remotely about the deal, but just random little stories about her time here on Earth. If you weren’t currently tied to a chair, there was a part of you that would have actually found her stories to be quite interesting. “I don’t know, I love being a crossroads demon but at the same time, I feel like I could really bring some value to the team if Crowley trusted me more. What do you think?” Mel asked.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” you admitted. “I mean, I’d love to commend you on your work ethic but uh, I’m a little bitter right now,” you said.

Mel laughed. “Fair enough,” she grinned. “But, if you had to give me like a recommendation, would you say I had a good work ethic? I mean, I was your right hand for almost four years here.”

“Again, don’t really wanna commend you when you currently have me tied to a chair in my own shelter,” you stated, your voice radiating annoyance.

“You know, these past four years have honestly so eye opening,” Mel begin. “I can really see why Sammy wanted to marry you.”

“I’m sorry?” You questioned.

Mel went to open her mouth to answer your question, but there were two doors slamming in the distance. And her smile turned into a slightly mischievous one. “Looks like lover boy and big bro are here to rescue you!” She exclaimed and looked at her watch briefly. “About damn time too. I was starting to get bored.”

Mel got up from her seat, and removed a piece of fabric from her pocket as she walked toward you. “Just gonna place this in your mouth so you can’t warn my favorite boys, okay?” She giggled, before putting the fabric in your mouth, almost gagging you.

As the pair walked into the gym, it was mostly pitch black except for the small amount of moonlight that was currently streaming in from the windows. "Y/N?" Sam called out.

Muffled screaming could be heard, and that's when they noticed you sitting in the middle of the auditorium tied to a chair and with some kind of gag in your mouth. "Just like old times," Dean said, pulling out his gun.

"Except we're saving her, not the other way around," Sam stated, he too pulling out his gun.

"Whatever," Dean mumbled. "Just get Y/N out of here."

"And where are you going to go?" Sam asked, slightly confused as he raised a brow.

"Gonna go see if I can find that Mel bitch," Dean said, slightly waving his gun and grinning.

"No need to find me! I'm right here boys!" Mel called out, her voice singsong like; the large auditorium lights turning on in a matter of seconds. "And there's really no need to have those silly little guns out, so you might as well put them away," she said, appearing behind you now. "I just wanna talk. You know, have a little catch up. It's been such a long four years, and I've been so interested in what my Winchester boys have been up to. Especially Sammy here."

"Nothing really for us to talk about. Considering you've killed five teenagers for really no good reason," Sam said.

“But it was for a good reason,” Mel stated. Both boys looked at her with a slightly confused expression on both their faces. “I needed a way to get you two here. You wouldn’t have came any other way. Well, that’s not entirely true now is it Sammy?”

Sam looked at you, and he could see your expression changing. You were no longer relatively calm, but more confused than anything else. “Either you tell her or I will,” Mel stated, her voice no longer sing song like. “Tell her what you’ve been up to.”

Sam and Dean exchanged looks, and Sam didn’t want to tell you what Mel was insinuating. “5…4….3….” Mel began counting.

“Alright, alright!” Sam yelled out in frustration. “I’ve been watching her for the past four years to make sure she was okay.” He sighed. “Happy?”

“Now, let’s see what Y/N thinks about that mmm?” Mel asked, her hands on either side of your shoulders. “Wanna talk?” She asked you, and you eyed her. If looks could kill, Mel would have been dead.

“Fuck you,” you said, muffled.

“Oh my!” Mel laughed. “The mouth on her! No wonder you were so heartbroken Sammy,” she winked.

As Mel, Sam and Dean were talking, you were carefully trying to untie yourself from the chair, making sure that none of them had seen you doing it; as you were pretty sure that if Mel had caught you, she had the ability to kill you in an instant. Then again, you weren’t quite sure how strong demons were.

“Now, I’d really like to hear what Y/N think —” before Mel could continue her sentence, you broke free from the rope that she had tied your hands with, and managed to tackle Mel to the ground.

“A little help here would be nice boys!” You yelled out, trying your best to keep Mel to the ground; but her demon strength was starting to show, as she knocked you to the ground.

Before she could do anything to you, Dean had his arms around her, holding her back as Sam held out his hand in order to help you up. “Thanks,” you said, taking his hand — a simple movement, but felt so natural.

Mel bucked her head back, the back of her head hutting Dean in the nose; the movement caused him to let her go and he stumbled back. “Fuck,” Dean said; some blood running down from his nose.

“You little bitch,” Mel said through gritted teeth. She went to lunge at you, but was stopped when Sam had shot her. She laughed. “You know bullets can’t kill me,” she smirked.

“No, but they can distract you,” Dean said from behind her. She turned around, and within an instant, Dean plunged the Demon Knife into her.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked, the three of you walking out of the shelter.

“Yeah I’m fine just…confused,” you confessed.

“I’m sure. I’m sorry Mel wasn’t who you thought she was,” Sam said.

“That’s not entirely it,” you began, the two men raised a brow. “Mel…Mel said that I knew you guys,” you looked at Sam now. “She said you wanted to marry me.” Sam and Dean exchanged looks, neither one of them really knew what to say

“What else did she tell you?” Sam asked, not denying your claim; as he was in fact planning on asking you to marry him as soon as the three of you had gotten back from the hunt. It was something that he spent months planning.

“She said that you made a deal in order to bring me back to life. And part of that deal was basically having me forget you and hunting,” you said, your voice having no hesitancy to it. “I know how ridiculous it sounds but…I believe her.”

“Dean, can you give us a second?” Sam asked, looking over at his brother. Dean and Sam exchanged looks, and Dean looked at you only briefly before nodding.

“Yeah I’ll uh…I’ll be in Baby,” he said, scratching the back of his head as he started making his way toward his impala.

“Is what she said the truth?” You asked. “And don’t give me a it’s complicated answer. It’s a simple yes or no.” Sam couldn’t help but let out a half chuckle, as this was a like you had said to him far too many times.

“Yes. It’s the truth,” he admitted. “Four years ago, the three of us were on a vampire hunt in Malibu. You and me agreed to go take out the nest because it was only supposed to be three vamps. But…it turned out to be six instead, too many for just the two of us to handle. That’s when you…”

“Died,” you said, finishing his sentence. “How did I…die?”

“One of the vamps…ripped your throat out…” he mumbled, his voice trailing. “It was my fault I…”

“Hey, hey,” you said, taking his hand in yours. “I may not remember, but it wasn’t your fault okay? I may not remember you, but, knowing you literally barely a few hours, I know you aren’t that type of person. You just…I get a good vibe from you.”

“You shouldn’t,” he stated. “I’ve done a lot of…fucked up things. Things that…”

“Whatever fucked up things you’ve done, I’m sure it was for a good reason Sam,” you reassured him. “You aren’t someone that’s just going to get someone killed.”

Sam just looked at your hand in his; enjoying the feeling. It’s been so long since he had held your hand. “After, why didn’t you try and ask me out?” You asked.

Sam chuckled. “Thought you’d be better off without me and plus, kinda thought something like this was going to happen.”

“Ask her out already please! I miss her baking!” The two of you heard Dean call out. You and Sam turned, and saw Dean with the drivers side window rolled down; Zeppelin playing loud enough for him to have probably been able to hear the entirety of the conversation.

Sam and you chuckled a little, and you looked at each other similar to that of two people in love with each other. “You wouldn’t want to go out sometime again would you?” You asked, softly smiling.

“I don’t know I…” Sam wanted to say yes; he wanted you back in his life, wanted so much to be in your life again. But he didn’t want to risk anything bad happening to you again. “I’m sorry.”

Disappointment washed over you as you looked at Sam. You had wanted to be with him, even though you barely knew him. But according to Mel, at some point, he had wanted to marry you. You had hoped that maybe with her gone, then you two could get to know each other again and have a bond like you apparently did years ago. You had felt something for him; some kind of connection, a kind of familiarity, even before you knew who he was. But, you understood where he was coming from. “Can I at least give you a thank you kiss?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, almost afraid to say yes.

Sam leaned down, and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. He stared into your eyes, mentally cursing himself for saying no, but he knew that saying no was for the best. You were safer, and you were free. “I’ll always love you,” he told you. “Even if you don’t remember loving me.”

Your lips and his were centimeters apart now, and you didn’t want this moment to end between the two of you. Because you knew, that the second the kiss was over, you’d probably never see him again.

“Take care of yourself,” you said, before the two of you pressed your lips against each other.

The kiss felt natural, a little needy, but gentle. It wasn’t a kiss you would give to someone you would see again, it was a kiss that you gave someone that you would never see again. It was a goodbye.

"Sam, I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe we should wait for Dean to come and help us," you said; as the two of you started walking up to an abandoned log cabin in the middle of the woods; something that you didn't even know Malibu had.

"There's only supposed to be three vamps, I think we'll be fine," Sam reassured you. "We've taken out more than three vamps just the two of us before."

"Yeah but...I don't know, it just feels different this time, I can't explain it," you said, your voice hesitant. For some strange reason, you just had a horrible feeling that something bad was going to happen, but you had no proof. It wasn't like you had premonitions.

"Fuck," you said, a sharp sensation entering your head, as if you just got hit in the head.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Sam asked, concern in his voice.

"Yeah just..." the pain got more intense, and you felt yourself start to lose balance; Sam's hands instantly finding your arms in order to keep you from falling. "My head really fucking hurts," you said, almost strained.

"Let's sit down uh?" Sam suggested, as he started leading you toward the curb in front of the shelter.

"Sammy, she okay?" You heard Dean say, the sound of the impala's door opening and closing. You heard barely hear the sound of his running toward you and Sam, as everything started to sound so muffled due to the intense pain and pounding in your head.

"You know, I don't know what I'd ever do without you," Sam said, caressing your cheek.

"I'm sure you'd be fine. You did just fine before you met me," you said, gently smiling at him.

"But my life is a lot better with you in it," he admitted.

"So is mine," you confessed.

"I love you," he replied.

"I love you too," you smiled.

You didn't really know how you had gotten to sitting on the curb but you now where, Sam and Dean on either side of you. The intense pain was starting to subside, and the pounding was starting to cease. You couldn't tell what either man was saying, as they still sounded muffled.

"Y/N?" Sam asked, his hands resting on your shoulders.

You turned to look at him, and all of a sudden you felt the urge to cry. Your hand reached out and touched his cheek. "Sam..." your voice was low, almost inaudible.

"Yeah?" He replied, his voice as low as yours.

"Take me home," you said.

"Sure," he nodded.

"To the Bunker," you clarified.

Sam looked at you; confusion clear across his face. "The Bunker?"

In the next and final chapter...

He scratched the back of his head before pointing to your side table. “Open up the drawer there,” he said, slight hesitation in his voice. When you didn’t move, he sighed. “Trust me,” he said.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @octoberclidan @kidwhofixates @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream @crystal555 @hannahisthebanana @seamlessepiphany @madzzz0797 @livingordeadwhoknows @writinginfear @roskar16 @rachiem4-blog @coldspoons @fuiabarcelos @foxyjwls007 @midorimachisenpaii @sammysnaughtygirl @missscarlettangel @frozenhuntress67 @snakebxtez @crystalandphoebewifey @spnandpj @androah @taraswifes If you'd like to be added to a tag list please follow this link If I forgot to tag you and you wanted to be tagged, my apologies!

[denaliwrites]

Aziraphale's Favorite Author

Aziraphale x GN!Reader

Summary: Reader has written a book, and is nervous to share this with Aziraphale, who has probably read literally every book ever.

Warnings: Imposter Syndrome.

Requests: Open! Please, feed me.

You can't think of another time you'd been so nervous. In fact, you were pretty sure there hadn't been another time. The energy zapping around across each and every one of your nerve endings was a uniquely new experience, and it left you feeling breathless in the worst way.

What were you even doing here? The book, wrapped delicately in gold paper that reminded you of the angel, weighed heavily in your hands. Far heavier than the actual physical object could realistically weigh. There was no way he'd want this -- he's surely read most books, if not all of them. He's read Austen, Shakespeare, every Great Writer throughout history, probably. How could you ever hope to compete? Why would he even bother reading the cover, let alone the meat of the novel?

But it was too late -- you'd already knocked, and you could see him fast approaching. He saw you through the door's window and beamed, and it just made you feel worse. You didn't deserve that expression, and as soon as he saw what you'd done, he'd take it away from you. Hell, he'd probably mock you, thinking you had any right to drop this slop in his hands like it was some great piece of literature.

The door opened, and immediately, he knew something was wrong. Of course he knew, how could he not? You were basically sweating bullets, eyes unfocused and heart beating so wildly you could even see worry on Crowley's face as he passed by.

God, how anxious were you?

"My dear," Aziraphale hummed happily, though you could hear that note of worry in his tone -- the one reserved especially for you. The one that, currently, made you want to run and hide, because how could you ever do that to him? You were ashamed --

"What are you holding there?" he asked softly, kindly, and you were pulled out of your ever spinning mind long enough to look down at the gift with a stunned expression.

"Oh, it's... it's nothing. I... well, it was for you, but on second thought, I don't think you'll like it. I'll just--"

"Oh, nonsense, dear," he reassured you, smiling. "I love all the gifts you bring me!"

His words were so genuine, you almost believed them. But how could he love anything you brought him? You were just a stupid, ordinary human, you couldn't possibly compare --

"May I open it?" he asked, hands on the object and gently trying to coax it out of your grip.

"No!" you yelped, before dropping your hold to clamp your hands over your mouth in embarrassment. "Oh, my God... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I should..."

"Please, come in," he said gently, moving aside so that you could step past him. You did as you were told, legs stiff with nerves and the overwhelming desire to flee from the bookshop, never to return.

He led you to your favorite seat, watched to make sure you actually sat down. You could tell that he had noticed the way your leg took to bouncing erratically the moment you were seated. He watched it with some concern before turning his attention to the book -- and it was so obviously a book, even through the layers of wrapping paper.

His touch was feather light and delicate as he peeled the paper away without causing a single tear. He stared at the cover once it was revealed for a long time. A very long time. Too long.

You were getting antsy, desperate -- you didn't even care what he said at this point (or so you told yourself), you just wanted him to say something!

"Crowley," Aziraphale finally said, and even though he had said it as if speaking to someone right beside him, the demon appeared from wherever he'd been with a curiously quirked eyebrow. "Look what our wonderful friend has done!"

"Oi, you did this?" the demon asked, gaze shooting over to you. You nodded, throat suddenly too dry to allow for words. "Well done, then," he said, and then he'd disappeared back into the depths of the bookshop.

You blinked in stunned silence, before returning your attention to Aziraphale. He was the one you were really worried about -- he was the one that could make or break you, likely the latter, in a matter of moments.

"Oh, my dear," he started, positively beaming, "I am so proud of you!" He moved to stand before you, gently pulling you up. He hugged you tightly and placed a loving kiss to your cheek. When you looked into his eyes, you saw real, earnest joy there. Pride. Love.

A few tears dropped from your eyes, and immediately his expression turned to one of concern. "Oh, my darling, whatever is the matter? This should be a joyous occasion!"

"I-I just," you blubbered, finally breaking out into broken sobs. "I thought you'd hate it..."

"Why on Earth would I do that?" he asked, and you could hear that he was truly affronted by the idea, and it just made you feel worse.

"You've... y-you've read, like, every book! Ever! You've read all the greatest... how could I ever hope to compete? I can't possibly be as good as Jane Austen! A-and, I mean, I know it's not about that, but I so badly want you to like it, but how can you like it when there are so many better books out there and you've read them all?"

He appeared thoughtful for a long minute that felt like it dragged on for hours. You could see words and expressions tumbling through his mind, could see him formulating sentences and paragraphs.

"My dear," he finally started, and it sounded a lot less sure than you'd expected, and a lot less devastatingly cruel. "Whyever would any of that matter to me? Great as they are, none of those writers are you. I care about you, and I care about the things you feel, and the things you say. I care about how you see the world, how you process your experience as a human with a limited amount of time and a limited capacity for experience. Your voice matters to me far more than Jane Austen's, or anyone else's."

Your sobs didn't cease -- if anything, they grew stronger. But at least now, there was relief in them. Overwhelming relief. And some joy, too. He'd made it very clear to you that he loved you and cared about you.

Warm arms wrapped around you and coaxed you down into the chair, settled atop his soft lap. His arms stayed circled around you, even as he held the book out in front of him and began reading.

You couldn't look at the contents -- he'd soothed you for now, but you still had lingering doubts, and you couldn't stand to look at the mess you'd made out of the English language. But from your perch atop his legs, you could watch Aziraphale's shifting expressions. You could roughly guess where he was in the novel based on the look on his face -- you hoped that meant it was good.

You were sure that it wasn't the best novel ever written, but maybe it didn't need to be. Maybe all you needed was for Aziraphale to be proud of you.

And he was.

In fact, you were officially his favorite author.

[anime-aus]

More Twisted Wonderland Events I Think Should Happen:

Part 1

Photo Album Event: The first years find a photo album that shows the third years' first year (technically Leona’s second year). The first years ask their third years about it. We get to see what happened in the past as they’re telling the story. I think it would lead to a lot of interesting interactions and I really want to know what everyone looked like and how they acted during their first year.

Haunted Mansion Event: This would definitely be a Halloween event based off of the rides or movies. Multiple characters come across a haunted mansion and get trapped inside. They definitely meet a few odd ghosts (and a few terrifying ones). They soon realize that they have to escape the mansion before they become trapped inside for all eternity!

Pirate Event: This would have to be Peter Pan themed or Pirates of the Caribbean themed. A bunch of students get a chance to sail around the island. One of the students among them is Kalim. Unfortunately for him Kalim gets kidnapped (again), but this time it’s by pirates. The rest of the students go on a mission to save him and Kalim gets a side story where he interacts with the pirates/tries to escape himself. I love pirates, so I think this would be a really fun even to play.

Cowboy Country Event: Realistically, this would probably based off of Toy Story because of Woody, however I would love for an event like this to be based off of Home on the Range! (Please tell me some of you remember that movie.) A bunch of characters go to a town out in Cowboy Country. One of them has to be Epel because he is very much a country boy. The NRC students learn different things, including how to ride horses. Turns out some of the cattle have gone missing and after some talk with the sheriff (and talk of a promising reward) the characters are out to catch the crook.

Dorm Swap: Crowley begins to notice that there have been a handful of student fights recently. In hopes of bringing the student body closer together he creates a Dorm Swap Program. For a temporary amount of time a random group of students is chosen to swap dorms. Some characters adapt to their situation easier than others. At the end everyone learns something about how the other dorms run.

Muppets Event: I just got this idea while watching Muppet’s Family Christmas. I just think a Muppet’s event would be cool. If we can somehow get Stitch and Tsums in Twisted Wonderland we can absolutely get Muppets. I just know Miss Piggy would love Pomefiore.

Cinderella Event: This one is pretty self indulgent, but I just had to share it. There is a party event where Yuu isn't invited due to some unavoidable reason. A fairy godmother finds a teenager who is upset because they can't go to a party. That's just begging for a fairy godmother to do something! With or without Yuu's permission, this fairy takes it upon herself to get Yuu all dressed up sends them to the party. The fairy also uses a spell that would make Yuu unrecognizable so they don't get in trouble for being there. Yuu has a lot of fun, but the next day they come to find that everyone is trying to unmask the identity of this mysterious party crasher. Yuu has to keep it a secret to avoid getting into trouble, but some of these people are making it so difficult.

[vidavalor]

hi again! rewatched the 1st season now. so first off thanks again for the excuse i appreciate it lol. but secondly hoping you wouldn't mind explaining the satan's obssession with crowley thing? cos he's obvs creepy as all hell pun not intended in the 11 years ago scene but i haven't found the bit that confirms it's a fixation on crowley and not just satan being satan. tysm!

Hi! Thanks for the ask. I can try and we can see what you think after, yeah? :) Christmas cookie? *passes plate and pours some tea*

TWs: discussion of PTSD, sexual assault, including rape, intimate partner abuse, anxiety, depression. We're looking at Crowley as an assault survivor here so it's a bit dark. Lindsay's abuse of Nina is also mentioned here. This will wind up having a companion meta at some point soon as I was also asked in comments on another post to talk about Crowley and intimacy issues which is then really also talking about Aziraphale as a trauma-informed partner so a less intense Part 2 at some point soon...

If you're the anon who asked me this (or anybody else) and you can't read something with these warnings but you'd like to see what I'm saying, PM me or throw something in my Asks and I'll see if I can do a version of this that gets the points across while omitting the darker aspects.

Meta on Lucifer and Crowley under the cut.

The Ask here was about why I see Lucifer as fixating on Crowley, in particular, and not just being generally evil as, ya know, he's Satan. It's a fair question since Satan's evil isn't exactly something that anyone would consider restrained as he's the devil. Some of this is inference here when it comes to Lucifer, since the show intentionally holds the character back a bit... but I also think that holding Lucifer back is by design to help illustrate some things that we'll look at here.

The first clue to me that Lucifer has a bit of a fixation on Crowley comes from Crowley's gigs in Hell. Before the end of S1, Crowley was high-ranked in Hell. He seems to go by quite a few names in his demonic world. By making himself Nanny Astoreth when he's looking after Warlock, it alludes the idea that Crowley is also the demon of that name, who is considered part of the "evil trinity" of Hell, along with Lucifer and Beezlebub, with whom Crowley used to spend time with pre-Fall and with whom he has history.

Astoreth is a genderbent serpent goddess in lore with an abundance of other Crowley traits so safe to say that Crowley is meant to be Astoreth as well. Aziraphale proposed in 33 AD that Crowley is also Mephistopheles and Asmodeus, which Crowley didn't exactly deny. Mephistopheles is one of the most famous demons to ever exist-- he of the Faustian bargain-- and Asmodeus is the demonic prince of lust. Crowley's already been shown to be a Bible figure in disguise-- Bildad the Shuite being a Biblical character-- so the idea that we are at the 2/3rds mark of the show and we've met all the high-ranking demons in Hell but several famous ones appear to not exist in Good Omens, despite more minor ones (Shax, Furfur) making appearances, implies that we probably actually have met demons like Mephistopheles and Asmodeus because they're all really Crowley.

Crowley retained power in Hell because it allows him what little freedom he can have in damnation. It means he likely won't be removed from Earth if he proves he's "good" at being a demon and that means he won't get stuffed in some cluttered, dark, cubicle in Hell for millennia. (Or destroyed.) More importantly, it means he'll be able to be on Earth with Aziraphale. That's easily worth taking credit for a bunch of human wars to fool Hell into thinking he's evil.

While we see that Crowley, when forced to come up with a demonic plot of his own, picks more annoying things than evil things and sells them as evil-- the M-25 design, taking down mobile phone networks, he's sometimes forced into doing things he doesn't want to do in order to not be outed as a demon who isn't super jazzed about being a demon and is really, secretly, a free-flying crow. He doesn't live to serve their Master Satan like some of the other demons do. He's going along with Hell as best he can and sometimes, he finds himself in a situation where he has to get creative because he's been tasked with something he disagrees with-- like we saw in the Job minisode. Other times, he might be forced into something he can't find a way out of, which is implied a little to be at the root of his terrible mood when he and Aziraphale meet up in Ancient Rome. He's wearing military garb that implies the temptations he's saying he's in Rome to accomplish are tied to Caligula, who wasn't exactly a swell guy.

What's interesting, though, is that Crowley is in this position of power in the first place. Other demons are shown in both seasons so far to be jealous of Crowley. He gets all the good gigs. Satan makes a bet with God that has both Upstairs and Downstairs in a tizzy for weeks and who is sent to whack the kids? Crowley. Who was sent on the first ever really Earth mission-- to get up into the Garden of Eden and "make some trouble"? Crowley, long before he'd cemented his big reputation. Who gets to deliver the antichrist baby and so kick off Armageddon, the thing that angels and demons basically "live" for? Crowley...

Across both seasons so far, Hastur, Ligur and Furfur are all given scenes of showing that they're jealous of Crowley being a favorite of Satan's and given the best assignments while they slum it in middle-management at best. What Crowley never says or admits to with other demons is that they actually don't want to be the favorite of Lucifer over here because he's the actual fucking devil and it's an absolute horror show. Crowley isn't about to admit that to them because he's supposed to want nothing more than to be Satan's slave and to express anything else is not demonic.

The other demons who are antagonistic towards Crowley are invasive and creepy but they stop short long before what we've seen Lucifer do. Hastur and Ligur pop up unannounced in Crowley's electronics-- the tv in his flat, on the screen at the movies-- and that's already disturbing. Imagine having your evil coworkers able to interrupt your r&r tv time in your own apartment... let alone the fact that Shax and even Beezlebub both pop up into The Bentley unannounced in S2. There's no evidence so far that Satan is out here "delivering instructions" like this to others in Hell the way he does to Crowley in 1.01 (and there's actually a scene in S2 that we'll talk about that suggests that he's not or, at least, that it's uncommon, which we'll get to in a second.)

He might well be but when you combine assaulting Crowley with giving him all the prime gigs in Hell and the other demons' jealousy of their Master's attention towards Crowley, you wind up with the impression that Satan is a bit fixated on Crowley.

The Bentley scene with Lucifer in 1.01 is analogous to rape. Crowley's sense of personal autonomy is violated. He doesn't consent to Lucifer forcibly entering his body. Lucifer does so by first penetrating through Crowley's two foremost metaphorical defenses-- The Bentley (enters through the radio and uses it to invade Crowley) and his sunglasses, which cannot shield his eyes/himself from Lucifer. Crowley already has these signature defenses mechanisms on in the attack scene and the horror in the scene is actually watching neither of them protect him. The scene is so early in the show that it's only the second scene we've ever seen Crowley wearing his glasses (and it's pitch black dark out, to add to it) so the glasses are basically introduced to us by showing us a situation that motivates Crowley's desire to hide his eyes from people he doesn't trust, even if they aren't human and know what his eyes look like. This is Crowley's third scene in the series itself and it's really arguably the second half of his second scene (the Hastur & Ligur in the graveyard one.) It's part of our introduction to Crowley in the modern era, with only Eden preceding it. Armageddon is new but the rest of this hell-- faking being evil, suffering violating attacks-- is thousands of years old for him at this point.

Crowley is driving when this happens.

Driving is the ultimate symbol of self-control because you're literally behind the wheel, navigating yourself through the world, in control of where you are going and the decisions you need to make to get you there, trusting yourself to make decisions that protect others on the road around you. Lucifer rips that from him by rendering him unable to drive while "delivering instructions" to his mind. Crowley-- a very powerful, magical being-- is unable to fight him off. When Lucifer leaves his body, Crowley had to grab the wheel and steer The Bentley away from hitting an oncoming truck with about three seconds to spare from a head-on collision. Crowley, The Bentley and the antichrist baby all would have likely survived that crash without issue because of their magic-- but the human driving the truck likely would not have. Obviously, Crowley would prefer not to kill anybody but Satan nearly made him against his will and rendered him unable to fight him, the powerlessness of which is then interesting when tied into things like Crowley essentially drugging himself to save Elspeth, trusting the present Aziraphale to help protect him while he did, etc..

As the attack happens, parts of "Bohemian Rhapsody" are underscoring it, picking up on a musical cue from when Crowley rolled up in The Bentley to see Hastur and Ligur in the graveyard. The graveyard scene sees Crowley arrive at the big crescendo of the song and what is it but the lyrics Beezlebub, has the devil put aside for me? and, prior to that, the eerie lyrics, especially on rewatch when you know what happens as a result of this scene: we will not let you go (let him go) x a million, not to mention the no no no no no no... bit.

By the time we're back in The Bentley and Lucifer has shown up, parts of the song play through it. I see a little silhouetto of a man plays as Crowley is literally seeing the driver of the oncoming truck in front of him, just as he loses the ability to control The Bentley. When Lucifer leaves him and Crowley grabs the wheel, we hear thunderbolts and lightning/very, very frightening/me and the Galileo segment of the song. Thunderbolts and lightning is interesting since God makes it a point to point out that this night is not dark and stormy but then that type of weather is what Crowley does in S2 that causes the power to go out and his parallel, Nina, to be trapped. It's also what demons in general can do so you could say sending a storm-- like in the Job minisode-- to be demonic and of Satan. (If it's not Crowley doing it to play Cupid, anyway.) The thunderbolts and lightning of Satan/Hell is very, very frightening to Crowley...

...Me/Galileo/Galileo/Galileo/Figaro... Galileo is arguably the most famous astronomer to ever live. He was a polymath, really, like Crowley was. Crowley, as an angel, made the stars and invented gravity. The scene with Hastur and Ligur that precedes this and ties into it has Hastur mistranslate the Italian Crowley spoke during it. Crowley said "ciao", meaning "goodbye", which Hastur correctly said was Italian but he claimed it meant "food" (mistaking it for "chow" because he's an idiot.) So a scene that ends with Crowley speaking Italian then connects directly into the scene of this attack, where Italian is spoken in the song scoring it, as Galileo was Italian and figaro in Italian is "fig tree".

While Eve does eat an apple in Good Omens, the Biblical 'fruits of knowledge' that tie to the Serpent tempting Eve in Eden are interpreted in different ways throughout different religions and at different periods in history. In Good Omens, Crowley got Eve to eat an apple and the pleasure of food opened a door to sexual pleasure. Eve shared the apple with Adam and they were *Aziraphale's hilariously judgemental voice* "expecting already" with Eve about 8 months pregnant later a day later because Eve's biology is atypical of other humans and all that. It's debated as an apple, with other different fruits and sometimes even wheat mentioned as possible things Eve ate-- if she ate food at all, as some people take the entire thing as a sexual metaphor. Figs are one fruit that some people believe it was instead of an apple, so this is a reference to Crowley as the Serpent of Eden.

Me/Galileo/Galileo/Galileo/Figaro... Crowley holding onto himself while under attack and just after it, which speaks to activation of a plan, which speaks to this not being the first time he's endured something like this. Galileo and Figaro = The Starmaker and the Serpent of Eden. The things he's done that he is proud of, that make him not evil, in his mind, and not deserving of this. Things he likes about himself. Things Aziraphale loves about him.

The song is narrating for us Crowley through the attack as he's basically frozen there enduring it, seeing the driver of the truck coming at him and Scaramouche/Scaramouche/Will you do The Fandango?

A scaramouche is a kind of mischievous scamp-- so, Crowley; The Fandango is a Spanish couple dance. Historically, one version of it is done between a pair of men who try to outdo one another with skill, in a kind of homoerotic competition. It's also slang for fucking during a concert and I have the feeling that Crowley would probably enjoying doing that Fandango a lot more as that would be consenting with a partner of his choice at a live concert rather than being mind-raped to Queen by the devil in his car. Regardless, it's another allusion to sex in the scene, adding to the rape overtones.

There's also something that is pretty horrifying about the fact that these scenes of Crowley and Aziraphale being separately reintroduced to us in 2008 after we first met them both together in Eden are intercut so that Lucifer's attack on Crowley scored by "Bohemian Rhapsody" ends with the Italian sung and cuts directly into Aziraphale speaking Japanese to the chef at the sushi restaurant.

He'll try to explain to Gabriel that eating sushi is "what humans do", which is the same phrase he'll use to try to explain to Michael and Uriel in S2 what falling in love is. During the bookshop attack, Shax will bully Aziraphale about his humanity-- about the same two things (food and love) in the two previous, connected scenes. (Gabriel, initially the one repulsed by tea in 1.01, leaves the scene after Aziraphale tells him to hide by asking if anyone wants a hot chocolate, in a pretty hilarious turnabout.) Shax calls back to the food-related and the love-related "it's what humans do" moments for Aziraphale by asking if she should "send up the sushi" and by mocking his relationship with Crowley ("What are you? Crowley's emotional support angel?"). Crowley and Aziraphale are the ones in love and it's tied together throughout multiple scenes in both seasons to sushi, in reference to the night Armageddon began in 2008.

The point then is that, making this all even worse, Crowley is actually supposed to be at a back corner table in a dark sushi restaurant sneaking a date with Aziraphale when he's attacked by Lucifer in The Bentley-- and then forced into helping start Armageddon, which could bring about the end of his and Aziraphale's relationship... and that's our grim introduction to his world in the modern part of the story.

As we go learn what Aziraphale is like in the modern era and contrast him with his head office's mentality via Gabriel's arrival, we also are given clues in the scene that suggest that Aziraphale was actually expecting Crowley, as he looks to the side Crowley comes up on when he hears the miracle sound that actually signals Gabriel's arrival instead. Aziraphale will then explain that he's there, doing "what humans do" and enjoying it, to Gabriel, and it will be only eating sushi in this moment, just as Crowley will not be present when Aziraphale explains that falling in love is "what humans do" while objectively talking about Maggie & Nina but, ultimately, talking about himself and Crowley beneath it-- his real motivation for keeping Heaven off their backs is Crowley. The writers then have Shax combine the two "it's what humans do" scenes around love and sushi and throw them back at Aziraphale while Crowley is once again not with him because of Heaven/Hell but is present in his absence in the moment.

All of this happens in the first scenes of Crowley in the modern era, all the way back in the first episode, and it's done to give us an understanding that he is a survivor of attacks like this and how that impacts his behavior, his choices, his relationship with Aziraphale. It's to give us a finer appreciation for his strength and his humor and his capacity to love in the face of it. It's to show that while some of the demons are just kind of amusing idiots, if dangerous, and that there's a lot of humor to mine there, some aspects of being a demon are not at all amusing. Crowley is really just doing the best he can to survive the absolute horror show that is an eternity of damnation as Satan's favorite over here because there are very dark, very violent aspects of it that he cannot permanently avoid.

While the attack we are shown is a mercifully short, if horrifying, scene, the implications of it are even worse. The assault we are shown had a plot purpose in that moment-- Satan giving instructions on delivering the antichrist baby to the satanic nunnery-- and since everything was in motion, that was the extent of it. Armageddon took precedence. What we are left with, though, is the impression that this type of demonic assault with its massive rape overtones is something that Crowley's experienced before and that the implication is that Lucifer attacking him is not always just to deliver a message related to an assignment but to deliver one of forcible control over him and that this is something that Crowley has been dealing with periodically for the 6,000 years he's been on Earth. It's akin to a kind of rape in 1.01 and that is already way more than enough to see how that would affect Crowley in the story... but then S2 takes this scene and both alludes to it in a key moment and gives it a whole paralleling subplot, highlighting its importance and continuing to expand upon the meaning of it. Both things together then suggest that while we saw a rape-coded assault in 1.01, the feeling that the scene was alluding to other instances where it was rape itself was definitely the implication of it.

In S2, in the group scene at the end, Crowley is out of the bookshop taking Maggie and Nina away from the angels for their safety when the subject of Satan comes up for the only direct time that season. Shax demands that Gabriel and Beezlebub be taken to Hell to be given "as gifts for Satan, our Master" and Head of the Dark Council Dagon replies that "he wouldn't want them-- maybe as hors d'ouerves." On the show obsessed with food symbolism and that codes different types of food with relation to sex-- in particular, because of Serpent of Eden Crowley-- and with the brothel owner named "Mrs. Sandwich", to say someone would want a being as a "hors d'ouerves" implies sex and if we're talking about Lucifer, then we've already established that consent isn't exactly a priority. Rape isn't about sex-- it's about power-- but the show is coding Lucifer's behavior in line with its coding of sex to highlight that his violation of Crowley isn't just of the heavily rape-coded variety that we saw in 1.01 but has actually, at other times, been rape.

Dagon's most significant line in S2 is essentially to point out that Satan's a rapist-- but it's also to point out that not everyone in Hell has been through that horror. Satan's choosy. Satan's a bit fixated. Dagon's comment is actually surprising. Your first thought when Shax suggests giving Gabriel and Beez to Lucifer is that he's the devil so they'd be in danger and what you've seen of what he's done to Crowley was skin-crawling and you don't want that to happen to Gabriel and Beezlebub. You assume that it might because we're talking about Satan but then Dagon puts a check on that and says-- to not a single bit of even implied disagreement in the room-- that Satan wouldn't really care that much about getting Gabriel and Beez.

Think about how truly kind of crazy that is.

Satan would not be that interested in being handed over his old friend and the Grand Duke of Hell who betrayed him and the Supreme Archangel of Heaven? He'd maybe rape 'em, sure, possibly, casually posits Dagon, but they aren't what he's really after. They'd just be hors d'ouerves.

Not a single being in the room even so much as signals disagreement with that assessment that the not terribly subtle Dagon chose to voice aloud, which means they all agree with her. They all know who Lucifer's fixated on.

*Gabriel* and *Beezlebub* would only be fucking *appetizers* to Satan.

That implies the existence of *a main course*, does it not?

Who else but Crowley (and Aziraphale) could be on that menu? No one.

We also have that Crowley is conveniently out of the bookshop for the moment that Shax and Dagon have this exchange about Lucifer. He comes back in on Dagon saying "hors d'ouerves" but was outside when Shax was referencing Satan so he didn't hear any of it. This seems very deliberate on the part of the writers, as if Crowley had been in the room, it would have prompted some kind of response and changed what happened in the scene afterwards. Instead, the only reference to Lucifer is specifically when Crowley isn't in the room, probably because this conflict is on-going and going to continue into S3.

Prior to Dagon's line, the show also paralleled Lucifer assaulting Crowley in The Bentley in 1.01 with Lindsay abusing Nina, which adds another layer into this. You could even make an argument that one of the reasons why we never see Lindsay and we just see their abuse of Nina via the text messages they send Nina is to draw an intentional parallel to how little we've seen to date of Lucifer/Satan in the series.

It directly ties to the 1.01 scene in The Bentley because, prior to Lucifer coming through the radio and assaulting Crowley, Crowley was trying to call Aziraphale (the Maggie to his Nina in this parallel, though obviously much further along in that relationship) to tell him about Armageddon but he'd taken out the mobile phone networks earlier in the night to have something demonic to share with Hastur and Ligur. This parallels Crowley knocking out the power in S2 accidentally and Nina getting locked in the coffee shop with Maggie. Lucifer and Lindsay both attack through electronic communication devices-- The Bentley's radio and Nina's phone-- and unleash a torrent of abuse. The difference is that Nina might be more easily able to escape Lindsay and live a more peaceful life after S2 while Crowley has yet to be truly able to evade Lucifer.

While Lindsay's abuse of Nina is at least psychological and emotional in what we are shown and Lucifer's abuse of Crowley is that with physical and sexual aspects that may or may not be present in Nina's relationship with Lindsay, the type of abuse doesn't matter to the parallel as it's all terrible and that's the point. Lucifer's abuse of Crowley is paralleled with the intimate partner abuse Nina is suffering in her relationship. This is objectively pretty interesting since it sort of suggests that Lucifer is Crowley's Lindsay, in the sense that they might have once been involved pre-Fall, which might add another element to why Lucifer is fixated on Crowley.

So, while Crowley can encourage his parallel Nina all he wants to take a risk and trust more and to trust him when he promises that it will be worth it, Crowley himself can't really extract himself from his own Lindsay-ish situation yet. He does know how to survive it, though, and it's not all about the defenses he and Nina put up-- it's about learning to shed some of those defenses enough to have a sense of intimacy with a kind person you can trust to love you and help you feel safe.

[ineffablenlghtingales]

So it starts off with Aziraphale driving back from Edinburgh in Crowley’s Bentley. He keeps passing this random hitchhiker and is eventually forced to stop.

It turns out to be Shax. (She's weird, I don't really like her). She tells Aziraphale that she is taking over Crowley’s job, and she wants to know where Gabriel is. Aziraphale denies any knowledge of this, but he lets the truth slip by accident.

Then we get fantastic flashbacks to 1941 (remember Crowley scrambling into the church and rescuing his angel? Then the bomb going off?) Also, hello Mark Gatiss and co as zombie Nazis.

The Nazis are registered by the demon Furfur. (His hair gets an honorable mention. He sort of reminded of some undead German composer and eww creepy is an understatement with that guy).

Furfur grants the three Nazis a temporary license to be able to go back to Earth as zombies for 24 hours to gather proof of Crowley's cooperation with Aziraphale. If they can prove Crowley and Aziraphale are working together, then they will be granted freedom from damnation. To help them with this, Furfur hands them a miracle blocker.

Then begins the silliness of Azi insisting and really trying very hard to work the magician gig. Crowley and he arrive at a theatre and Crowley makes a delivery of alcohol? But all the bottles are broken because well-p, he was right next to a bomb that went off, whoops. The poor old woman who made the order is not happy, complaining that the magician who was supposed to perform that night won't come. Azi decides to take his place.

The two of them step into a magic shop for inspiration for some phantasmic trick to pull off. Aziraphale is looking for a showstopper and comes across the bullet catch trick. The shop owner discourages Aziraphale from purchasing the trick bc Aziraphale has shown just how much of a hand he has for real magic tricks (sarcasm, to clarify).

Okay and the bit where Crowley sits there, watching Aziraphale practice and pretends to be an old man waiting to be impressed. Oh my god, David. I was laughing. But I really loved the bit where Crowley tells him that if he's going to be performing at West End, then it must mean that he's good enough for it (or something like that, to paraphrase. Demon's trying to encourage his angel. I love it.)

At the West End, Aziraphale nervously takes to the stage. (Then I got to thinking about the miracle blocker. Did the two of them intend to pull of the trick with a miracle? Like Crowley'd fire the gun but somehow miracle it to not actually discorporate Aziraphale or whatever?) Anyway if they did, those hopes are dashed because Furfur initiates the miracle blocker, meaning Aziraphale’s first magic trick fails spectacularly.

Also I died when Aziraphale calls out in the crowd, asking for anyone with experience with a gun. ALL the young men in the crowd raise their hands, Crowley does not. I could hear him saying "Nope. Angel, no. I'm going to be honest with you, I don't have experience with a gun. No, no. no." The angel picks a volunteer at random, choosing Crowley out of the crowd.

The poor boys! Crowley goes up on stage, and they greet each other, saying behind their smiles, "My miracles aren't working!"

The trick is a success, Crowley fires and misses Aziraphale’s head. I love how, in the midst of the success, Crowley's basically like "No paperwork! :D" Where as Aziraphale's like "Yes! We did it!" Haha is the paperwork for discorporation really that bad??? They celebrate afterward in their dressing room. Furfur confronts them, showing Crowley the evidence that he’s just snapped the two together.

Crowley denies the allegations, saying it is just a coincidence. Again, Mr. Dramatic just doesn't give a shit and decides to take a nap on the couch. Aziraphale asks to look at the photograph and genius that he is, secretly switch the picture with a flyer.

Back in the present day, Shax is determined to lead an army and attack Aziraphale’s bookshop to kidnap Gabriel. Beelzebub agrees with Shax’s plan and she now has permission to get Gabriel by any means necessary.

Meanwhile, in London, Aziraphale and Crowley reunite, and the demon tells Azi his attempt to make Maggie and Nina fall in love failed, so now it's up to Azi to play matchmaker.

I loved, loved, loved this episode.

[galaxyshine24-7]

Just thought of something angsty, so how would the NRC staff + the overblot crew react to MC overblotting themself? Now they didnt use any of the drugs (why would they? They’re already strong themself without it) it’s more like they were forced to overblot. Like a sniper shotting the drug to them, but the drug isnt any normal drug. The drug instantly cause the user to overblot and become monster like, something akin to mara struck from HSR. And correct me if im wrong but when someone overblotted they’re aware on what they are doing right? Let’s have the MC be mindless :) again something similar to mara struck.

Since we have already establish that MC is honestly much stronger than all of the mafia, their teachers are going to have to fight them because with the overblot making them much stronger, they’re a damn powerhouse. Wonder how that would turn out..

Also you can decide if MC dies or simply just in a brink of death ;)

Hope you like the idea ^_^

(I honestly think that at the end of the Twisted Wonderland game, Yuu overblots some way somehow.)

Silver Bullet Yuu would overblot in a self-sacrificing sort of way. Things are going down in Grim Court and Yuu takes the most drastic measure to get everyone out alive. Someone shooting Yuu with a gun would be very interesting maybe they jump in front of it to stop the big bad from powering up and Yuu overblots instead.

Also, I wouldn't say Yuu is more powerful than the other mafia leaders, but they do know how to give people a run for their money.

Thank you for this ask it's going to be so much fun.💖💖💖💖

Overblot Silver Bullet Yuu

Ash falls from the sky as the gangs raise their weapons at the threat. Everyone has undergone a beating, but nothing like the wounds the threat has pouring down their body. The ruins of NRC have become a battleground, small fights break out over the campus, but the main one is soon to come to an end.

The threat backs away as the current gang leaders and leaders of old old close in. Yuu stands to the side clutching their wounded arm as Grim hisses beside them. Sweat rolls down their brow looking back and forth from the two forces. It's finally coming to an end all the bloodshed and pain is finally over. What was this all for? Power? Fame? Is the cost of lives this insignificant? Yuu's stomach twists in knots anger and sadness fill their being. One thing is for sure this life can never be for them, but seeing the eyes of their friends fill with determination to protect this broken home is something they can't turn away from.

That is when the notice a glim in the distance.

A sniper.

The threat smiles wickedly as wisps of magic surround them. They open up their arms like an embrace, proclaiming the end of all those who stand in their path. Yuu's body moves before they can think, jumping in front of the line of fire as they feel something pierce their chest.

"Y/N!" Crowley cries, It's been years since he has called them by their real name but before they can take it in the world turns black.

Overblot Crew Reaction

Riddle Rosehearts🌹

It happened so fast that the Heartslaybul leader didn't even get time to blink as he watched Yuu's form get covered in black ooze. For once the dorm leader was speechless. He takes a step back feeling fear creep up inside him. Yuu's cries of pain ring through his mind. Ace and Deuce yell for the bartender, but Riddle orders Trey and Cater to hold them back. Yuu's form grows as he watches it towering over the threat. There is no rule on how to handle this situation, but Riddle is determined to do anything to get Yuu back.

Leona Kingscholar🦁

Leona sees Yuu race across his field of vision already knowing what will happen. Jack yells over the noise trying to tell Yuu to hold on.

"Herbivore!" he cries knowing a person who has never interacted with the magic drug can't handle an overblot. By that point, Leona is sweating trying to figure out what to do. It will only take seconds for Yuu to lose control and he doesn't know what will become of them after. Leona readies himself and his members for anything. He can tell the real fight is about to start.

Azul Ashengrotto🐙

Azul is always one step ahead of his opponents, but to think the threat would try to cause themselves to overblot is something he never would have imagined, and Yuu jumping in front of the bullet is something he can't even fathom as he stands in terror. Azul doesn't even care that he heard the bartender's real name. At this point he could learn all about Yuu, but he could lose them altogether, and that is something he won't allow.

Jamil Viper🐍

Jamil raises his weapon jaw clenched. Kalim stands by his side eyes full of tears as Yuu starts to overblot. He can't let it end this way, he still hasn't thanked them for all they did for him. He won't let it end this way, he will use every power he has to see Yuu alive at the end of the day. He owes them that much.

Vil Schoenheit👑

It takes Vil so much strength to hold Epel back watching his friend forced to overblot. His experience with it is the worst he could ever feel, and he can't imagine what it must be like for Yuu. The potato he has watched and grown with writhing in pain and anguish does something to Vil. He knows Yuu will lose control and he won't stand watching his precious potato become rotten.

Idia Shroud🎮

Idia will not let another person he cares about fall to an overblot. He gets his weapons ready telling everyone to prepare themselves for what's to come. Ortho stands next to him holding his hand tightly. Back then he had no power, but now he knows what he can do. Whatever it takes he will cure Yuu once this is all over.

Malleus Draconia🐉

He wasn't fast enough. He should've seen through the threats plan. How can he lose one of his only friends? His anger is unimaginable, a lighting strike hits the sniper burning them to a crisp. Nothing will stop Malleus from destroying all those that hurt Yuu. They have given him nothing, but kindness, and he can't imagine losing them ever. For once in his life they treated him like a regular person even after finding out who he is. He owes Yuu a life debt as he steps forward in front of Yuu's overblot form as he hears the sound of Sebek screaming behind him. Till the very end, he will never turn his back on his friend.

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Dire Crowley🎩

He falls to his knees. He has failed again to protect those he cares about. His poor friends and now their dear child. Tears stream down his cheeks watching Yuu succumb to the overblot. How dare he call himself a headmaster when he can't even protect his dear students. It takes Crewel to get him to snap out of it. He at least needs to see this all through. He owes his friends and he owes Yuu that much.

Divus Crewel🩸

No, this can't be happening, not his puppy. That he helped raise, it was like yesterday when Crowley introduced them and how small they were. He will not lose them! He almost kicks Crowley for falling to his knees. Right now they need to snap Yuu out of this overblot whatever it takes. It is time for these stray pups to prove themselves worthy.

Mozus Trein📚

It pains Mozus to see the small child he taught how to play piano, and to dance, and sing become a beast from overblot. He stands his ground trembling, he sees Yuu just like he did his daughters. He helps Crowley off the ground encouraging him to continue fighting. He knows they are the only people Yuu can call family and it is their responsibility to help their child in times of trouble.

Ashton Vargas🧤

He isn't one to dwell on emotions, but seeing Yuu sacrifice themselves stirs something unimaginable in him. He cracks his knuckles clutching his fist as he steps up to overblot Yuu.

"You better give me a challenge kiddo. Otherwise, we are going to have some serious training after this."

Vargas was always a man of action not words.

Sam💀

He always knew his little imp was full of surprises. Now it is time for him to get serious. He supplies the group with his arsenal of gadgets. Even getting help from his friends on the other side. He made a deal with his little imp long ago and he plans to keep his end of the bargain.

[smaller-comfort]

Wip wednesday except a) it's monday and the passage of time is a subjective social construct and b) instead of a piece of actual writing, you get stupid background facts and ideas that haven't made it past the brainstorm phase. Brain is full of bees. Bees are not great at narrative or dialogue. Alas!

I'd do some sort of ask meme, maybe- give me a character and I'll give you a random fact that hasn't shown up in a story yet.

Here's some modern AU and miscellaneous necrons (tired old men, and monster boyfriends) to start.

Modern AU Aephorul has a t-shirt that says "I'm here to eat ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all outta gum." Resh'an gave it to him for Christmas one year instead of getting him a new pair of booty shorts with ominous quotes on them.

He's not allowed to wear it out of the house ("Why did you give it to me, then?" "Because it reminded me of you. And I will treasure the look on your face when you opened that box until the day I die." The look on Aephorul's face was pure, unguarded delight, and he laughed until he cried.) But he has absolutely shown up in the background of Resh'an's zoom calls with it on when they both work from home. He's reached cryptid status among Resh'an's advisees, which he finds hilarious. Resh'an will vehemently deny that he's trying to encourage this behavior, but secretly he also thinks it's funny. (There's a whiteboard in the physics lounge with a tally of Aephorul sightings for the semester.)

-----

Anyway this is what I'm writing instead of petplay. *facepalm* It's fine. I'm also stuck in a state of minor crisis over the fact that I'm inevitably going to give Aephorul a goddamn fursona. This is both largely unrelated to the petplay and also extremely embarrassing for me. *double facepalm*

Somewhere between Oltyx leaving on his suicide mission and Denet summoning the monoliths, Erraph basically tackles Parreg in a corridor in a fit of 'holy shit we're not dead yet but we're absolutely going to die soon so this is my last chance'.

Existential crisis aside, one of them has blood streaked across his necrodermis and of course Erraph is just as cursed as the rest of them. "If I'm going to lose myself, it might as well be at your side. Better here than anywhere else."

Parreg is barely holding his shit together at this point; the destruction of his home planet, the inevitable decline of his dynasty, even his own descent into madness- fine. Okay. At least he was going to die with dignity, and not fail his king any further. But surviving? While his king goes off to die? (And this is the second time the survivors of Sedh have watched Oltyx leave on a suicide mission. Once was understandable, and he was only nomarch at the time- but twice is a pattern, and a concerning one at that.)

---

I'm not writing any of this! I'm not. I have no desire to write the tragic confessions of a pair of despairing bureaucrats who have spent their eternity engaged in useless, senseless grousing. (They had a place and a purpose in necrontyr society- grain master and magistrate- but as necrons? Without purpose, without respect, without hope for anything but stagnation and madness? *foaming at the mouth*)

Nate Crowley, come here, I just wanna talk. In lieu of that, I will continue to be unhinged and unwell about these bitter old men, and maybe someone else will write it for me.

Okay, so I know we're all here for Anrakyr/Thaszar but I would like everyone to also perhaps contemplate Yenekh being sexy while he runs into Thaszar attempting to capture the aeldari battle cruiser he and his legions just boarded.

Alliances with flayers are uncomfortable at best for most necrons- but Thaszar is already a bit of a pariah in necron space, so it's not like this would make it any worse. It's a mutually beneficial relationship- the flayers are after a different sort of bounty, after all. (Oltyx is still skeptical but he isn't going to spoil Yenekh's fun. He decides to extract assurances that the Sarnekh forces will leave his people unharmed directly from Thaszar and then has to deal with the fact that oh no he's hot.)

Alternatively, Lysikor is lurking somewhere in the Sarnekh fleet- Thaszar's betrayal and overthrow of his dynasty is legendary. He could learn a lot from someone like that.

[aliahm]

Whichever Comes First - Crowley x Gender Neutral Reader Drabble

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, suggestive dialogue

Credit for the gif goes to the creator of it, and credit for these two beautiful dividers goes to firefly graphics, here on tumblr.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

You hesitated for a moment, having not expected anyone to approach your table.

“I don’t drink.” you told the red-haired stranger, hoping he wouldn’t simply leave. When he smiled and sat across from you, you internally rolled your eyes at yourself for being glad, instead of put off by his forwardness.

“Just here for the view, then?’ he teased, and you scoffed in amusement, because he had a point. Not only were you at a nightclub, you were sitting at the bar, with no drink in front of you.

“I don’t really know why I’m here.” you replied, focusing on the black lenses of the sunglasses he insisted on wearing inside the expectedly dark room.

“Oh come on,” he drawled, and you froze for a second. “You wouldn’t have gone through the effort to come here if you didn’t have a reason”.

“Why don’t you tell me what my reason is, then?” you fired back, 75% attitude and 25% concealed embarrassment.

He raised his eyebrows a bit from behind his sunglasses. Even without being able to see his eyes, you got the feeling that he was looking through you just as much as at you. 

Suddenly, when he spoke, it was as though his words made your shame and your guilt vanish.

“It’s not me who needs to understand why,” he said, with unexpected gentleness in his voice, “it’s you”.

You sighed, displeased by the fact that his cryptic response made perfect sense to you.

Finally you began to say what you had refused to admit to yourself since you decided to come to this nightclub in the first place:

“I’m sick of feeling like everything I want is wrong. I wanted to go out, and meet someone, and maybe go home with them and screw up my plans for tomorrow, or maybe just make a friend, whichever comes first. I just want to know what it’s like”.

At that point, you were too fed up with feeling this way for your embarrassment to return. 

“Here’s to trying new things.’ he declared, despite neither of you having a glass to toast with. 

You smiled. “Something tells me this is hardly new to you, Mr.-”

“Crowley,” he replied. “and I suppose you’re right. I’ve always had a knack for getting people to say what’s on their minds”.

“I’ll bet you have,” you hummed, pleasantly surprising both of you with your sudden flirtatiousness. “though I meant this hardly seems like your first time in a nightclub”.

“Far from it. And yours? Think it can be salvaged?”

You smiled. “Maybe. I might’ve even made a friend by the end of it”.

He grinned back at you. “You might even forget all about your plans for tomorrow”.