#i hope he gets a redemption arc BUT LET HIM STAY MEAN PLEASE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

acesofspadess · 1 year ago

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Live {3}

summary: after a silly little comment on Niall's live, who would've thought it bring you...well here....

a/n: redemption arc??? nahhhhhh

Battles week was here and to stay you were feeling all the feels was an understatement.

It was unfamiliar to see his name pop up on your phone again. It was like no time had passed and you were back in Mullingar in your music room sending him audios of melodies you had put together.

Another notification from him snapped you back into reality.

I know why you said what you did,

and I know it is all my fault.

I think you need to get your ego checked.

It clearly triggered something as he was calling you the next minute.

“I'm sorry Maia.” he breathed out, and you could hear his sincerity. “I wish i was there when you released your EP, and i wish i kept in contact with you. I never wanted you to feel forgotten. By the time I had finished with the album you had already moved on. I saw the way you looked at her.”

“It was always you Niall.” the words were out before you knew and you sucked in a breath.

“Are they about me? The songs.” he asked and you knew he knew the answer, so you didn't respond.

“Did she know?”

You seemed to lose all sense at that.

“Of course she knew! It was the reason we broke up.” you heard him inhale at that. “But still she was there for me. She was my friend! I trusted you Niall-”

“Maia-”

“No, let me talk! I sent you the tracks of some of the EP, did you know that? Or did you know that I was slowly falling for you? You were not only my friend, but my musical mentor. I trusted you to guide me like you said you would. And what hurts the most is the date, June 9th Niall. Really? You just had to choose the date we met.” he inhaled sharply. “I chose Kelly because even if I lose with her as a coach, she never left me high and dry.”

He had tried to call and text everyday since but you haven't answered until the day before Battle rehearsals.

I know you won't answer this or maybe even see this. But I know your battle is tomorrow. I believe in you and I know you're gonna do amazing, no matter what.

Thank you, it means a lot.

Mai, I am so sorry. I know your upset but i want to do everything i can to make it up to you, please.

I know Niall. I forgave you a long time ago. It sucks that i could never stay mad at you. But this doesnt mean im pushing everything out. You still really hurt me.

Im going to make it up to you i promise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I was going through some songs for you guys. And I decided on this song because you guys have an amazing range.”

During rehearsals you knew it was going to be hard for you to win this one. You knew Kelly couldn't coach nerves and that was what you knew would be your downfall.

Kelly was amazed with you in rehearsals and you hoped it was enough

“No matter who I choose, it has everything to do with the fact that I'm gonna pick who has it at the moment. Just have a good time. And the goal is for the other one to get stolen.

```

“Singing ‘River Lea’ here is Team Kelly”

The organs played and you lifted the mic to your lips

Everybody tells me it's 'bout time that I moved on And I need to learn to lighten up and learn how to be young But my heart is a valley, it's so shallow and man made I'm scared to death if I let you in that you'll see I'm just a fake Sometimes I feel lonely in the arms of your touch But I know that's just me, 'cause nothing ever is enough When I was a child I grew up by the River Lea There was something in the water, now that something's in me Oh I can't go back, but the reeds are growing out of my fingertips I can't go back to the river

The audience cheered as you riffed and you smiled

But it's in my roots, in my veins In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain Oh, it's in my roots, in my veins In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain So I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea

You both sounded amazing together as the audience clapped

I should probably tell you now before it's way too late That I never meant to hurt you or to lie straight to your face Consider this my apology, I know it's years in advance But I'd rather say it now in case I never get the chance No, I can't go back, but the reeds are growing out of my fingertips I can't go back to the river But it's in my roots, in my veins In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain Oh, it's in my roots, in my veins In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain So I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea So I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea,

You saw Kelly standing up and it gave you a burst of energy you needed to finish the song

River Lea, River Lea (oh) River Lea, River Lea (oh) River Lea ,River Lea (oh) River Lea, River Lea (oh) River Lea, The River Lea The River Lea, River Lea The River Lea The River Lea

The audience roared and you hugged Kate.

“You both killed it, and in two different ways.” Blake spoke up first. “Kate, your softness while singing those big notes and having Maia’s straight in attack on those notes, like its a cool thing you do up there.” he told you and your chuckle turned into a full blown laugh when you heard Nialls. It's a beautiful thing to listen to together. I dont know Kelly.”

“Help me!”

“I can't, I'm sorry.”

“It was mind blowing.” Niall spoke next. “It pinned me back to my seat.” you all laughed softly. “You completely made it your own from two different sides. It was really what a battle should be. Amazing control from both of you and the harmonise were perfect. Kelly its a tough one, but, and i say this with my entire chest, if i was in your position i would pick Maia.” you thanked him softly with a head bow and you watched him nod back to you.

“That was a solid performance,” Chance praised. “Maia you have great control and how Blake was saying you attack it. I don't know, I just love your tone. Kate, towards the end of the song you really made it your own, so for that i would send Kate to the next round.”

You watched as Carson came up and the audience clapped softly. “Man, I just wanna say well done.” Kelly commended. “The both of you have such unique talent and both incredible powerhouses. Now the crappy thing is you both rose to the occasion in completely different manner. You both are amazing and I love both of you.”

“The time has come, who is the winner of this battle?”

“Oh man, i'm gonna re-” she cut herself off with a hum. “The winner of this battle is Kate.” You clapped for her as disappointment soared through you. You watched her hug Kelly and you waved back to her and sent her a kiss.

When she walked off you looked back at the judges and heard the sound effect of a steal and you squatted down to floor. “We've got a steal!” Carson announced as you stood back up. The sound played again and you covered your face in your hands. “We've got another steal!” Carson announced. When the audience died down Carson let both judges speak. “Chance?”

“Maia, I think you are such a great singer and I think with the right songs and proper training you can go really far.”

“Niall?”

“Maia, maia, maia. I told you in the blinds and i'll tell you again. You have such a unique voice and amazing talent. I know you can win this thing with the right songs and i can already see you up there with the trophy in your hands.”

“Maia, who do you pick to be your new coach?” you knew who you were going to pick the moment the steals went off. “I pick team Niall.” Niall screamed, thrusting his fist in the air.

“Niall steals Maia. Go meet your new coach.” you walk down the stairs quickly and into Nialls awaiting arms.

He lifts you off the ground and you both laugh. “You really thought I was gonna let you go.” he whispered and you shook your head at him. “I was really hoping you wouldn't.” he let go of you and you walked down the steps as Niall went back to his seat.

“Bad move Kelly.” he laughed menacingly, while rubbing his hands together excitedly. “She's gonna win this thing.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

tags:

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653

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mischief-lies-and-stories · 1 year ago

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Reacting to Animated Marvel Shows 8/?

All right, back to the anime Avengers. All you need to know is: pretty Loki (of course the most important part), weird noses, Avengers meets Sora & co., way too fast redemption arc, and another possible incestuous ship for me whoops. Spoilers for Future Avengers 1x20 (and probably 1x19).

Bruno looks a little early Avengers (2012) Loki and I don’t know anything about his usual character design, but between his eyes and the war paint (I think) on his face, he looks a little mind-controlled. [I knew nothing that happened before ep 19 at this point, and even that I didn’t really retain, but damn I was really close to what’s happening here.]

“Wing daggers”??

Hulk speaks in complete sentences in Japan, apparently

Ugh Amora, fuck off

Amora who are you calling “young sorcerer”? I know you’re older, but you’re roughly the same age

Cap just said “Avengers, stay frosty.” What the hell does that mean?!

Ironman just jumped in front of Loki (and Wasp, but mostly Loki) and my frostiron heart has reawakened. Cap, is this what you meant? Frosty, like frostiron?

I mean, it did nothing, all three of them got thrown into the wall, but it was cute

Hey, Loki, remember how you have magic? Why are you letting the mortal with science superpowers protect you from overpowered Amora???

I don’t understand what Makoto’s superpowers are

This b-plot is still hella gay

“Being a hero without you is meaningless to me.” What the fuck, friends to enemies to lovers, excruciating slow burn 100k words

I will not go to AO3 after this episode, I’m stronger than that

Thor why do you have to yell “Mjolnir throw” like it’s a Pokémon that needs you to tell it what to do? Also how did you miss?!

Why do they all have to name their powers to activate them, first of all? Second of all, isn’t Loki canonically immune to this? I know this came out before Loki, but still.

Ooh this is a good idea for a scene. I hope they do it well.

Lol they recreated the live action Avengers shot and just shoehorned Wasp in there.

I hate how the only part of their face animated to move is their mouth. Like Loki begging Thor not to listen to Evil Guy No.1 would be so much more moving (literally) if the rest of his face was allowed to be expressive. Like even if they did the anime pupil vibration it would add so much more emotion.

Loki kiss him to break the mind control (sorry, I’ll try to remember to tag this as thorki, I couldn’t help myself)

Thor please do the whole giving the villain a false sense of security in thinking he’s won by raising your hammer against your brother but at the last second slamming it against Evil Guy’s skull (I’ve already forgotten his name). You’re smart enough for this to be feasible, I believe in you.

I do also like the breaking the mind control through the power of (brotherly) love, too, though

But letting Loki genuinely show remorse and apologize when really you’re not influenced by Evil Guy (because your love for your brother is already too strong, okay I’ll stop) before you smash Evil Guy’s head in is cool too. Loki probably needs to do this for character growth purposes anyway.

Loki’s crying and I’m screaming, this is cute I can’t stand it

Holding hands! Okay I’m also crying now this is so sweet

Oh shit is she dead! Fuck I hope so. Go straight to hel, Amora

So does Bruno take on the Emerald Crystal to try to be more powerful than Makoto and then Makoto has to save him through the power of love?

Oh wait he’s already got the emerald!

Makoto fuck off with this no homo bullshit

Makoto kiss him to get the Emerald shit off him

Why are the OCs the only ones with normal fucking noses?! (Yeah, I’m on that shit still)

Gay love can pierce through the veil of emerald crystal and save the day

Makoto is so in denial about being in love with his bff lol

Makoto, it was the YAOI

“Brotherly bond” shut up, Thor, it was also the YAOI on your end

Dammit, Amora’s still alive

Evil Guy’s alias is just Leader? Weak.

Oh shit Evil Guy had a gun this whole time?! I swear to god if this kills either one of them I’m gonna be so annoyed. They’re Asgardian.

Also, I paused it just as he shot, but I’m calling it now, he aimed for Thor, but Loki jumped in front, even though they’re both immune to bullets (I think)

If Loki dies I’m suing

I fucking told you! Self-sacrificial piece of shit. If that armor isn’t bulletproof what’s it fucking good for?

Hey maybe subdue Evil Guy first before Loki fakes his death? He can hold it, it’s fine. But one, the dude might have another bullet in that gun, and two, he’s gonna make a run for it, both of which would render Loki’s bullshit sacrifice meaningless

Loki you piece of lying shit

All the same, I can’t tell if I’m crying from laughter or just crying

Marvel: So we can give you an evil Loki who lives or a redeemed Loki who (pretends to) bite it. That’s all we got.

Evil Guy why are you still here? Thor’s about to murder you three times over. You’ll be nothing but a spatter of blood on cement when he’s done with you, dumbass. You fucking shot Loki, then stuck around long enough to call him weak TO THOR’S TEAR-STAINED FACE?! Buddy you’re stupider than your choice of alias would imply.

YES! YES I FUCKING CALLED IT MY BOI LIVES

Oh motherfucker did you turn on your brother, you’re awfully close to Evil Guy for my liking

I’m more mad right now that Loki’s surprised (again) by how Thor reacts to his death than I will be if it turns out he’s a dirty lying traitor again

MOTHER OF FUCK, YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Again, Loki can live and be a villain or be a hero and die (fuck and doesn’t that sound familiar?)

Damn, there goes the kink cuffs

Fuck am I invested in this? Oh no

The end credits song is so stupid lol

End announcer guy: Come on, Loki, how could you betray the Avengers like that?

You must be new here, fam.

End announcer guy: Who is orchestrating the forces of evil?

Me: Dr. Doom.

Show: *Kang appears out of the fog, the size of a skyscraper*

Me: NO!!!

Me @ me: Bruno and Makoto are not getting together. This is a Disney kids show from 2017, it’s not gonna be gay.

Me: *proceeds to watch the next episode anyway*

Loki: *betrays Thor, like he famously repeatedly does*

Thor: *surprised Pikachu face*

Me: *surprised Pikachu face*

Yeah, I’m disappointed in me, too.

#loki #animated avengers #future avengers #future avengers 1x20 #future avengers 1x20 spoilers #marvel tv shows

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notproofread · 2 years ago

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so i finished a court of wings an ruin pt.2

let us talk about the men... even though i don't really want to talk about them. for the most part they really disappointed me lol

Tamlin

tamlin is.... trying to be better (at least in the beginning) i guess but there will be no way that he will actually heal & get to move on if not only feyre but lucien as well betray him, use him, destroy him & his court

I was very much interested to see where the story leads him though I had no actual hopes for him to get a redemption arc (which he deserves, I stand by that point argue with the wall)

then he was not trying to do better anymore but now I think he is fully leaning into the villain role which FINALLY gives him the edge that has been missing

because now i see and feel that he has turned his back to prythian because he has really lost EVERYTHING that had importance to him (feyre, lucien, his court, ...). now we can make a good villain out of him, you know?

....

.......

..........

.............

make up your mind tamlin god fucking damn it, im getting tired of your back and forth DO YOU WANT TO SEE THE WOLRD BURN OR DO YOU NOT YOU ARE WORSE THAN ME AND I AM A SUN LIBRA MOON GEMINI

also sorry but how tf did he survive until the end my mans should have died or been killed on so many occasions bruh

Lucien

see this is what I was hoping for after the first and second book, lucien is so cool & such an interesting character especially considering his (still kinda unexplored) backstory

•so WHY is his ONLY character trait now elain??? please there is so much more to him, give me literally anything else

the descriptions of him fitting into the surroundings of the autumn court are so amazing though I am literally in love

i think its cool how he gets to work with the people at the night court and i hope he gets to work more with azriel and maybe rhys especially with things about autumn and spring court

also loved to see his inner feelings regarding elain and jasminda!! that was such a nice detail to show that he is falling (hard) for elain but still feels guilt about his first love (still annoying though)

... great, written off to go find a human queen... guess thats one way to get rid of a character... could've just killed him if you didn't need him bye

Rhysand

rhysand ... why fuck first talk later? war is coming my dude you can get your dick wet later, after you have heard news and planned accordingly???? Im disappointed 100% ew

but nooooo, instead we get this weird horny political talk... am I supposed to enjoy this?

apart from that he was kinda boring

unfiltered thoughts after he "died": i CANT BELIVE CAN NOT BELIEVE that he died AND THEN WAS RESURRECTED THE SAME WAY FEYRE WAS bro that was the most unnecessary scene i have ever read why make me go through all that tension (again bc it happened with feyre before) just to make him come back to life this is so shit i don't know wether to laugh or cry

but tbh i didnt believe for 1 second that he was actually dead, im sorry but there was no way SJM would have the balls to kill of Rhys lol

Tarquin

unrelated but I miss Tarquin he was cool I have a crush on him <3

he is way too good for the other high lords, i'd rather read about him

Cassian

eh... boring at best, annoying at his worst.

bro what the hell why are you so fucking obsessed with nesta YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER and clearly she is trying to avoid you take a hint (no that is not romantic its creepy and annoying)

like "no means no" also applies to fae or other magical beings leave her A L O N E

he was so cool in the first book but this time it also feels like his only remaining character trait is nesta (giving very much lucien and i hate it) and maybe a bit of fighting/training stuff

Azriel

stays true to his character (at least in the beginning...)

if feyre is going to butt into his love life more I am going to riot, leave the man alone!

only one who actually pays actual attention to elain (yes, not even lucien does this as well as az) & figures her powers out first

also love how he is obv in love with mor but is neither making this his only character trait (looking @ you cassian & lucien) nor doing everything for her. he is NOT changing but staying true to his self i hope this stays the same

......

..........

...............

ah nevermind he just tried to suffocate eris... honestly though I get the like pride & protect my family stuff but arent all of them a bit too easily riled up? all high lords & courts are assholes after all, you guys included. you should know this by now

slay for saving elain

Jurian

now what is this?

wha- why does SJM want to give everyone a redemption so bad (except for tamlin ofc we been knew)

am i really supposed to believe that Jurian has reached clarity after witnessing everything through Amarantha? it was so such a good concept, having a human turn insane and helping those he despised

and (even if its a bad example) would have showed that humans and fae CAN work together after all

all men do is lie. only tarquin slays. bye.

#no characters die in here anyways #except when theyre the villain or unimportant #i fell in love with lucien and then i was given NOTHING #go rhysand give us nothing #tamlin #lucien #rhysand #tarquin #azriel #cassian #jurian #actoar #acowar #a court of wings and ruin

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loveisthemoment · 2 years ago

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how about how Wednesday, for all her bluster, hasn't ever really encountered truly powerful "evil" until Tyler (evil in very much quotation marks bc redemption arc please). she talks the talk but how much can she walk the walk confronted by her feelings for him?

oh, this is something exciting because this needs a look at Wednesday's character. Because as much as she's down for darkness and evilness, how far is she ready to go. And this also means she needs to confront her own emotions, something she has deemed unnecessary and a weakness. There is plenty of moments in the last episode with Wednesday and Tyler that ells I hate what you have done, I like you but I hate you. It's small expressions, you can visibly see Wednesday has feelings even if she tries to hide them. She is hurt and upset but does what she does best in this situation: she turns them down. Shuts them off. Her confrontation with Tyler at the end comes at the same time as she has a more significant threat to deal with which gives them not a real conclusion, especially regarding her feelings.

Now the Addams family is uniqe, crazy ,cooky, spooky whatever you wanna call them. Neither Pugsley or Wednesday fear death, they embrace it. They enjoy torture, craziness and everything in between. It's their type of love language. But Wednesday in particular can't stand people looking down at others, and people she cares about getting hurt. Especially her friends. So I think the least of Wednesday's worries would be that Tyler is a murderer. I think she even would enjoy his psychotic side A LOT. She never tried to kill or murder him when she found out he was the hyde. She did what she had always done, the only thing she knew. and torture is funnily enough the same way she showed love to Pugsley.

With this said, I think that she will eventually have to confront what she actually felt for Tyler. And the contradicting thing for her to accept is that he hurt her friends, he hurt her. How will she deal with that? Revenge is the only thing I can think of, she won't let him off easily. So if Tyler has escaped trust me she will look for him, but will she be able to deal the last blow? No, she won't because as I said earlier, she might thrive on torture darkness, and things we would deem evil, but those are also her ways to show love. Wednesday could definitely kill someone without feeling remorse if she thinks they deserved it, but killing someone she cared about, or is caring about. That would make her hesitate because as much as she wants to stay void of feelings and emotions they are there, they exist and they are the core of the Addams family. So if she doesn't manage to completely kill all of her feelings for Tyler that there is not an ounce left she won't be able to deal the final blow, even if she says she can.

I have no idea if this actually was an answer to your ask but I at least hope you enjoyed my rambling here. Also, feel free to add your own thoughts.

#wednesday #wednesday x tyler #wednesday addams #tyler galpin

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ragingbookdragon · 3 years ago

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These Words You Should Always Remember: To You, My Heart I Surrender

Batsis x Ghost-Maker One-Shot

Word Count: 4.6 Warnings: Explicit Language, Violence, Angst

Author's Note: This wasn't supposed to be 4K words y'all. I swear. But y'all better love me for it. Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

There were the occasional sounds of fists meeting faces and shins hitting sides echoing in her ears, but she paid them no mind, eyes trained on the screen before her. She was content to let her brother and oldest friend beat the ever-living shit out of each other if it meant they’d eventually put their feelings aside and make up. Of course, it was a long-shot pipe dream and one not so easily reached—she could hope though.

Over the sound of the continual fighting came footsteps, followed by, “Aunt (Y/N). How’s it hangin’?”

Glancing over her shoulder, she smiled at her second nephew. “Jason,” she greeted warmly, and he bent down beside her, letting her press a kiss to his temple. “What are you doing here so late? I thought you and Roy were going to Panama City tomorrow? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

He shrugged. “Plane leaves in the morning. Figured I’d hang around here for the night to say a couple ‘see you laters’.” Jason’s eyes followed the screen. “Is that the human trafficking ring out of Saint Petersburg?”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) answered, turning to click at the mouse. “Some lawyers from the courts around here got caught in a hotel room with a few of the girls.”

Someone new appeared in her peripheral, two people actually, Tim and Dick. “Didn’t they arrest everybody in the hotel room?” Tim asked, propping his chin on her shoulder.

She reached up and scratched his scalp the way he liked. “They did. The girls were sent to a secure facility for treatment and the lawyers have unsurprisingly lawyered up. None of them are talking.” (Y/N) clicked on the screen, opening a tab that led to an interrogation room. “Gordon’s not having any luck. Whoever’s running this operation is obviously terrifying enough that none of these guys are cracking. Even with the threat of getting sent to prison for life.”

“Want some help?” Dick offered and she shook her head.

“Nah. We adults have it.” (Y/N) looked at them and smiled. “You guys go do what young people do. Hang out with your friends, drink, party, be young.”

“I feel like you’re saying that to the wrong trio,” Tim said. “None of us drink except Jason and even then, none of us party.”

She shook her head again, this time in shame. “God, you people need to live.”

Jason happened to glance over her head, and he frowned. “Speaking of needing to live…you might wanna stop Bruce and GM from killing one another.”

(Y/N) turned in the direction of her friend and brother and sighed. “Am I a terrible person for considering letting them punch each other unconscious?”

“Nope!” came unified response and she chuckled, rising from her seat.

“Thought so,” she said, walking over to where Bruce and Ghost-Maker were about to go at it again.

She stepped in between them, gracefully dodging a throw punch and a kicked-out leg, shoving both of them back in return. “Hey, enough.”

“Move.” Bruce commanded and she glared at him.

“I said, enough.” Her head turned to Ghost-Maker. “We all know this little sparring match has gone a bit farther than just training.”

“No one’s getting hurt, (Y/N).” Ghost-Maker said, and she narrowed her eyes.

“Maybe not right now, but someone will get hurt and we don’t need that.” She pointed to the opposite ends of the room. “Separate and cool off. Both of you.”

Seeing that she wasn’t going to budge, Bruce let out a puff of air and turned, striding into the showers, leaving her and the other man on the mats. (Y/N) sighed quietly, rubbing her temples, and griped, “I swear you both make it so difficult to be around.”

“Only because he lets his emotions get in the way.”

(Y/N) looked up at him, watching as he wiped the sweat from his face. She caught his hand. “You busted your knuckles.”

“I’ll be fine.” He started to pull away and she tightened her grip.

“Don’t even start with me, Ghost.” She tugged him to the med bay and shoved him towards a seat. “Sit.” He obeyed, though she could tell he was probably making a face at her, and she busied herself with finding the antiseptic and some wraps.

Turning back around, she perched herself on the desk and placed his hand in her lap, gently wiping the blood and dirt away from the wounds; then she set the rag aside and wrapped his knuckles with the fresh gauze, carefully, as if he were made of glass.

When she was finished, she couldn’t help but do the childish thing she’d come up with all those years ago during their training; (Y/N) softly rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles, blowing quietly, then she murmured, “There. All healed.”

A rare smile came over his lips, though she could tell it was more of a sneer than one. “You’re still doing that?”

(Y/N) huffed a laugh and shoved his hand off her legs. “Yes. How do you think I managed to heal all the wounds me and the family have gotten over the years?”

“Hmm, stitches and alcohol.”

“Smart-ass,” she grunted, rising to her feet. “You hungry?”

Ghost-Maker stood from his seat. “No. I have to get back to The Haunt.”

“Hot date waiting?” (Y/N) cracked, elbowing him in the side and he snorted.

“No. I need to read up on the information Icon’s run through since I’ve been gone.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, gazing at him. “You know I’m doing that right now with our scans, right?”

“Of course, I do. But you’re not Icon.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes. “Great, I’ve been beaten by an AI.”

“An AI that I designed.” Ghost-Maker added, and she glared at him for a moment before chuckling.

“With fear, so I’ve heard.”

He shrugged. “I figured I would give him the one thing I lack.” He looked over at her. “Do you want to come with me?”

She wanted to, but she sighed heavily. “I can’t.” her eyes found the shower room door. “Someone needs to stay behind and talk to him.”

“I’m not surprised you’re staying.”

It was all he said before he disappeared from her sight and (Y/N) bit the inside of her cheek as something aching tugged deep in her chest. She hated how easy it was for her to understand when Ghost-Maker was disappointed in her decisions. How easy it was for him to impact her feelings. It’d been almost two decades since they actually held real conversations and every memory of the time they’d spent together, her, him, and her brother came back to her. Every moment of watching the two boys go head-to-head, and her torn between her family and the man she loved—it’d always been that way…and sometimes she wished she were like Ghost-Maker, unfeeling of love and empathy.

She shook herself from her stupor and walked into the locker room, leaning against the wall of the closed shower door; she could see his feet beneath the door. “Why do you always let yourself get so angry when it comes to Ghost?”

“You know why.” Bruce retorted. “You know how he is.”

“And I know how you are,” (Y/N) countered. “Yet you refuse to admit that on some level he’s got good points.”

He stuck his hand out from the opening of the door. “Towel.” She waited. “Please.”

Handing it over, she said, “You and I both know the longer we do this the darker it gets…the darker we get.”

“I’m not killing people, (Y/N).” Bruce griped as he stepped out of the shower, the towel around his waist. He’d busted his eyebrow and lip.

“I’m not saying you have to, Bruce. I wouldn’t expect you to. All I’m saying is you won’t admit that Ghost is right about things.”

“About what!” He shouted, turning on her. “That I should just start slitting throats up and down the street! That I should give up what we started as children! What (Y/N)!”

She merely stared at him amidst his yelling and then she calmly stated, “That you can’t save everyone.” He didn’t react, just looked at her as she explained, “You are so hellbent on the idea that everyone can have a moral redemption arc, but the truth is that not everyone has one nor does everyone deserve one.”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Sometimes I think Ghost was right. Trying to save everyone? Giving up every part of myself to make sure everyone lives? He was right. It eats until there’s nothing left inside you.”

“So what? You’re going to stop saving people?”

“Don’t be an idiot, Bruce.” She gave him a sharp look and said, “I’m going to stop saving the people who don’t deserve saving. And if that means I let someone bad die? I can live with that.” Walking off, she ignored him as he called out for her to stop, leaving him alone.

***

The little hovering tray floated into her peripheral and she blinked, turning to look at it. “Good evening, Miss Wayne. Refreshments?”

She smiled, plucking a champagne glass off along with a few grapes and cheese slices. “Thanks Icon.”

“You’re welcome.” The tray wandered off and she walked over to where he was sitting down, silently reading through the reports.

“Find anything interesting?” she asked, popping a grape in her mouth as she nudged his elbow off the armrest to perch on it herself. His arm unconsciously rested around her waist, fingers brushing the side of her pants.

“Leonidovich is having a party tonight.”

(Y/N) hummed, watching as he clicked through the pictures of the party’s setup. “Big place. Open. Good for plain clothed security to get around in.” she narrowed her gaze. “This is the ball room of the Winter Nebula Hotel. Who’s renting out the penthouse?”

Ghost-Maker smirked. “Our host for the party.”

She nodded. “Then that’s where the real party is going to be tonight.” Glancing at him, she asked. “Any big ballers on the VIP list?”

“Oh, a few internationally wanted arms and drug dealers.” He looked at the screen. “Leonidovich picked up a new shipment of girls earlier. He’s probably going to make a deal with the dealers tonight in exchange for them.”

(Y/N) nodded. “I guess it’s time to put our noses to the grind then.” She shimmied off the seat and started towards the closet. “Have any dresses back here?”

“You’re going inside?” he questioned, almost sounding surprised.

“Well, you can’t go it,” she retorted. “Your wily ways of fucking and flying means that people know your face.”

“Half of it.”

(Y/N) stuck her head out from the curtain, neck, and shoulders bare. “You’re not going to go in without your mask on. We both know that.” She pulled back in, grunting and shuffling around until she was finished.

Pulling open the curtain, she stepped out in a thigh length white heart-bodice dress, form fitting to her body and off the shoulders. (Y/N) slipped in the black metal teardrop earrings. “Part of me wants to ask why you have female clothing in your closet, but the other part wants to ask why on God’s green earth do you have to buy everything in white.”

Her face pinched. “It’s sterile. At least paint some gray in here somewhere, Jesus.” Ghost-Maker merely chuckled at her complaints and stepped behind her, gently placing something around her neck. “What are you—”

He let the black necklace fall to her chest and gently grabbed her chin, the other plucking a small device from the tray that Icon had next to them. Maneuvering her head to the side, he reached up and stuck it behind her ear, snug and out of sight. “Your hair should cover it,” he said.

“What is ‘it’?” (Y/N) asked.

“Listening device.” Ghost-Maker nodded to the screen, and she looked over, seeing a black box on the screen with a marker that was ticking. He raised his fingers to her ear and snapped; the blue marker etched with the sound, and she couldn’t help but feel impressed.

“Nicely designed, Ghost.” She remarked, glancing back at him. “Get my invitation?”

“It’s printing.” He met her eyes. “You need to be careful.”

(Y/N) knew he was being serious, but she couldn’t help but mess with him a bit. She smirked. “Why, Ghost, are you worried that I can’t handle a bunch of international criminals by myself? Me? That mighty Widow-Maker?”

“I’m not worried about you.” He said, and it hurt a lot more than she expected it too. “But I’d be down a sparring partner if you got yourself killed.”

She blinked at him. “I’m not sure what’s more upsetting—that you only think of me as a sparring partner or that you legitimately think I can’t do this by myself.” (Y/N) tipped her head. “Ghost, I’ve got this.” He opened his mouth to say something, but she turned away, walking to the door. “Where will you be tonight?”

He watched her back. “I’ll be doing what I do best. Surveying until you get into the penthouse.”

“You can’t bust in until I get enough on Leonidovich to have him arrested.”

“I’m not going to arrest him, (Y/N).” She turned, staring at him, but she said nothing, and he cocked a brow. “You’re not going to stop me?”

Her gaze fell to the tile floor, and she shrugged. “I don’t think I can, even if I tried to.” She let out a breath and turned. “Good luck tonight.”

***

To a novice, the party would’ve just been a normal high-class function, but to her knowing eyes, both from her own billionaire life and her vigilantism, this party was crawling with criminals. She’d caught at least seven drug deals go down in the past five minutes since she walked in, and at least nine men went off with escorts.

She inconspicuously grabbed a champagne chute from a waiter’s tray and sipped it lightly, scanning the room for Leonidovich. He was in the corner of the room, sitting next to a few women who (Y/N) recognized from the missing persons in Gotham.

His eyes flashed to hers and she gave him a flirty wink, disappearing to the bar, knowing he was going to take the bait. Sure enough, a hand touched the small of her back and she hummed as his lips brushed her ear. “I wasn’t expecting a goddess like you to come to this party tonight.”

She smiled and leaned back into his chest. “This goddess goes where she pleases.” Tipping her head slightly, she caught his eye. “And where her boss will find the best deals.”

“Deals, hmm?” he hummed. “What kind of deals are you expecting?”

(Y/N) smiled. “Oh, the ones where lots of money is involved…and merchandise.”

He gazed at her for a few moments then murmured in her ear, “The code word for entrance to the penthouse is ‘подземный мир’.”

“I’ll remember.” Leonidovich pulled from her with a smile and disappeared into the crowd. Something made her want to shiver from disgust, but she concealed it, watching and waiting for him to enter the elevator.

When he did, she waited another few minutes before walking over to it; the security stopped her and she cocked a brow, muttering, “подземный мир.”

The two guards looked at each other then stepped aside, letting her into the elevator. Another guard was inside, and she smiled politely as she stepped in, glancing at the little panel as it blinked.

It dinged, signaling their arrival and when the doors opened, she was greeted by an extravagant penthouse. To her surprise, there weren’t many people inside, just Leonidovich and his personal entourage.

“Ah, you’ve come,” he greeted, holding out a hand.

She took it, letting him place a kiss to her knuckles. “I told you, this goddess goes where she pleases and where she’s needed.” Looking around, she murmured, “My boss would prefer our business done alone. Is that possible?”

The guards seemed to turn even frostier but Leonidovich merely chuckled, nodding his head as he let her go and gestured to a side door. “The office is just through those doors. We can draw up a contract.” He turned to his thugs. “Wait here.”

(Y/N) nodded, following him as he led her into the office, noting how he locked the door, and he motioned to a chair in front of the desk. “Please, sit.”

Taking her seat, she crossed a leg over her knee. “You wouldn’t happen to have something to drink, would you?”

“What can I offer you?”

“Vodka.”

He chuckled. “Ah, a woman after my own heart.” He waltzed over to the bar and poured them both glasses, walking back to hand her hers. “Here you are.”

(Y/N) took it and clinked her glass to his. “ваше здоровье.”

They both downed their glasses and for effect, she held her façade. “You speak and drink like a true daughter of Russia.”

She smiled. “I’ve had more than a few drinks with many sons of Russia.” Glancing out the window, she added, “My boss is interested in your inventory. A few of them actually.”

Leonidovich hummed, turning back to wander over to the drink counter. “Tell me about your boss.”

“He’s a multi-billionaire out of Hong-Kong. Made his fortune by building cell towers and selling opium on the side.”

“Opium is a highly sought-after drug.”

“That it is,” (Y/N) agreed. “He’s been branching out into Kolkata, wanting to get into the spice trade.” She gazed into her empty glass, staring at her reflection. “But the men over there want something in return…more than money, if you catch my drift.”

“I do.” He said, matter of factly. “Perhaps I can offer them something better.”

“And what would that be?” almost there. She thought, but she never expected—

“You.”

(Y/N) turned her head just as he swung his arm as hard as he could, the vodka bottle in his grasp. She barely even had time for her eyes to widen when it collided with her temple, shattering into a thousand shards, cutting deep into her skin.

She fell out of her seat and hit the ground, dazed and in a massive amount of pain. Reaching up, she felt the blood pouring from her head and she sucked in a shuddering breath, trying to wipe away the fluid from her eyes so she could see.

Of course, he didn’t give her time because he was pressing his knee into her back, fingers yanking the listening device from behind her ear. Leonidovich glared at it and smashed it between his fingers. “I know who you are working for. I’ve seen this tech before.”

(Y/N) rolled onto her back, throwing out her elbow, which to give her credit, she did catch him in the jaw, but he was quick to respond, punching her across the face. Blood pooled in her mouth, and she spat at him, then his hands were winding around her throat, squeezing tightly. It reminded her of the training in the Amazons where she had to learn to uncoil anacondas from her body.

His grip became tighter and tighter just like the reptiles and she bared her teeth as she tried to suck in air, digging her nails into the flesh of his hands, his wrists, anything she could scratch at. He was heavy enough that she couldn’t flip him and with the dress tight around her thighs, she couldn’t cock her legs up to his shoulders or waist to get any distance between them.

She gasped when he put his knee in her stomach and that was the last bit of air she had to hold in. Her lungs started burning, begging her for air she felt the panic starting to rise in her as she thrashed beneath him, trying to throw him just an inch, but nothing was working.

Dark spots started to ebb out from the corner of her vision and like the phrase had come alive, she saw every moment of her life flash before her eyes. Every wrong decision, every right one. Every goodbye, every hello. Every person she’d ever lost and every one she’d ever saved. Her nephews’ and nieces’ faces darted across her vision followed by Bruce’s and then his.

She didn’t want to die now. Not since he’d come back to see them after so long. She wanted to stay. Wanted to tell him she loved him, even if she knew he would never be able to feel the same. She wanted to live.

Gunshots sounded from the outside, but they were like whispers as her eyelids started to droop shut, brain fogging from the lack of oxygen. Her hands started to go slack as the door was kicked in and as her arms went limp, something damp splattered across her face and the weight of Leonidovich’s body fell away.

(Y/N) sucked in a lungful of air and rolled, with what strength she’d received from the freedom, over onto her side, coughing violently. Her head was swimming with pain and her brain felt like someone had taken a mallet to an overripe melon.

Someone gripped her shoulder and she screeched, flailing on them when they grabbed her wrists. “(Y/N). It’s me.” They pulled her against them, folding her to their chest and placed a hand to the back of her head. “You’re safe.”

Sandalwood and metal oil wafted up her nose and she heard the familiar hum of his suit. “K?” she breathed, terrified to pull away and look at him.

His thumb caressed the back of her head. “It’s me, (Y/N).”

Something broke inside her and she buried her face in his cloak, sobs wracking her body as she clung to him. Words passed her lips, and she wasn’t sure what she was saying but it didn’t matter because all she could think about was how he’d saved her in the nick of time. The man she’d turned her back on at twenty to go home with her brother, had saved her again.

***

When she awoke, she sat up straight in the bed, vaguely unaware of how she’d gotten there in the first place. She started to move when she heard, “I wouldn’t get up if I were you.”

Stilling, she looked over, seeing Ghost-Maker with a book in his hands. Sun Tzu’s The Art of War, one of his favorites. When they used to train together when they were children, they used to lie under the stars, and he’d tell her all about how each chapter in the book had been devoted to a different art of warfare; she loved how passionate he would get when he talked about it.

“What happened?” she asked, fingers twitching against her side where it had started to ache.

“You were found out and almost strangled to death in penthouse suit.” He snapped the book shut. “When the bug went down, I moved in and took care of the criminals in the suite before killing Leonidovich and saving your life.”

(Y/N) frowned as he set the book down and leaned over, checking inside the bandage that was wrapped around her head. “Thank you.” Her eyes found his behind his mask. “What happened after?”

“You don’t remember?” he inquired curiously, and she tried to shake her head, but his grip was firm, keeping her in place.

“No. I remember you saving me but everything after that is a giant blur.” Suddenly she felt too transparent and pulled from his hands, turning her back to him as she threw her legs over the side of the bed. She rested a split second and stood, though his earlier warning rang in her ears as her knees buckled beneath her, head swimming.

He was there in an instant, arms wrapped around her waist as he caught her, lowering her back onto the bed. “I told you not to move.”

(Y/N) grunted at him and when he moved to pull away, she held on, resting her head on his shoulder. “Just…wait, K.” She whispered softly. “Please, just a moment.”

Ghost-Maker didn’t move though she felt the way he tensed at the first letter of his name. “You called me ‘K’ back there too.”

“I was relieved to see you.”

“And what you said afterwards?” She fell silent. “You don’t remember, do you?”

(Y/N)’s lips pulled downwards. “I have an idea of what I said. But I doubt you’ve been oblivious to it all these years.”

“Why do you love me?” he inquired, and from the tone of his voice he was either genuinely curious or completely baffled, she was hoping for the former and not the latter.

She turned her head, ignoring the prickling of pain as her temple brushed his shoulder, and pressed her forehead into his neck. “Because you saw who I was when no one else did.” Tears started swimming in her vision, and she reached up, curling her hand in his suit jacket. “I love you because you’re you, K. Because you’re my oldest friend and the one who’s always known me.”

Ghost-Maker closed his hand around the one in his suit and fell silent for a long while and (Y/N) stayed quiet too, simply letting the tears fall from her cheeks to the skin of his collarbone, her lips quivering against his skin.

“I can’t love you the way you love me.” He finally admitted.

(Y/N) blinked the tears away, whispering, “I know.” She started to pull away from him, reaching up to wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry, K.” It was hard to look at him, but she managed it, barely. “Just…give me some time and let me work through all,” she gestured around herself, her heart, and her head. “This.”

“You’re not angry at me.” He remarked and her brows furrowed.

“Of course not. Why would I be?”

“Because I don’t feel what you do. Love.”

(Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh despite the heartache. “K, I’m not going to get angry because you don’t feel love.” She reached up and placed a hand to his cheek, her thumb brushing against the fabric he kept covering his nose and eyes. “I know that in your own way you do care. Even if it’s not love.” Her hand shifted and she ran her thumb over his lips. “I can live with that.”

Ghost-Maker slid his hand up the side of her neck, pulling her to him; he pressed his lips to hers and she closed her eyes, letting herself be lost in the bliss of the moment, if only for a moment, then she pulled away and opened her eyes, gazing at him.

She offered him a sad smile and managed to find her feet again, rising from the bed, leaving him there. “I’ll see you sometime soon, K.” she said, walking to the door.

“Do you want me to call Bruce to pick you up?”

“No. I’ll walk for a bit.” (Y/N) got to the door and stopped, pausing to look back at him. “K?”

He glanced over, meeting her gaze. “Hmm?”

“Do you know what my biggest regret is?”

“I don’t.”

(Y/N) grimaced. “It was leaving you.” Even behind his mask, she knew the surprise was in his eyes; she knew him that well. “And if I could do it all over again…I’d stay with you instead of getting on the plane that night.”

Ghost-Maker looked shocked for a moment, then it gave way to a smile. A real smile. One she hadn’t seen in years from him. “I think I would liked that.”

“Goodnight K.”

“Goodnight (Y/N). Stay safe.”

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mhevarujta · 4 years ago

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Zoya and the Darkling [Rule of Wolves Spoilers]

It’s a pity that fandoms mostly focus on romantic/sexual relationships, because The Darkling and Zoya have one of the most epic dynamics in the Grishaverse. The way they affect each other is so complex.

Zoya did not go to the Little Palace after being tested in the usual manner of Grisha travelling across Ravka to recruit children with powers. She was a young girl, a child really, living with a bitter and broken mother, in a home where her Suli inheritance was not appreciated, in a country that would condemn her both because of the power she let her demonstrated AND because of who she would have been without it. She was basically sold as a child-bride and her mother deluded herself into thinking that her daughter would not be raped by the old man she was marrying so that she’d feel better about herself, not to mention that she poisoned Zoya with her fears and made her afraid of her own heart. At the wedding her power broke loose and her aunt took her to a hard journey to the Little Palace so that Zoya would be tested and have a chance at a better life.

Zoya was taken in and she was separated from her family, but her aunt was ALWAYS in her heart. She started training and she was stronger than most, she was also driven and resilient. She arrived at the Little Palace when she was 8-9. When she was 13, she was the youngest one to be chosen as part of a group that would travel with the Darkling to Tsibeya to find the white tigers of Ilmisk because one of them was supposed to be an amplifier. By that age, Zoya was half in love with him already and she lived for his rare appearances at the school. She was the best, she had fought to be so, and he wanted him to see it. The Grisha were focused on hunting the female tiger, but the amplifier was a male one. He tried to kill the female’s cubs and Zoya gave them the protection of her body, she got scars that she never had tailored and she almost died, and killed the tiger to defend the cubs; not for the sake of power.

It wasn’t HER turn to get the amplifier, but since she killed the tiger only she could claim it. And THIS brilliant scene happens:

Some part of me always feared that he would send me away, banish me forever from the Little Palace. I told him I was sorry.

“But the Darkling saw me clearly even then. ‘Is that really what you wish to say?’ he asked.”

Zoya pushed a dark strand of her hair behind her ear. “So I told him the truth. I put my chin up and said, ‘They can all hang. It was my blood in the snow.’”

Nikolai stifled a laugh and a smile played over Zoya’s lips. It dwindled almost instantly, replaced by a troubled frown. “That pleased him. He told me it was a job well done. And then he said … ‘Beware of power, Zoya. There is no amount of it that can make them love you.’”

The weight of the words settled over Nikolai. Is that what we’re all searching for? Was that what he’d hunted in all those library books? In his restless travels? In his endless pursuit to seize and then keep the throne? “Was it love you wanted, Zoya?”

She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think so. I wanted … strength. Safety. I never wanted to feel helpless again.”

“Like calls to like” fits the Darkling and Alina, but it also fits Zoya and the Darkling… in fact it fits Zoya and Aleksander even more so. Both were powerful and KNEW it. Both eventually learned to be unapologetic about it and saw it as their safety net. Both were taught that power would give them safety, survival, fulfillment in some ways, but not love. And yet, as much as they denied it and hid their hearts they DID want to be loved more than anything.

Zoya only rises thereafter. She gets her rank, she is one of the most valued Grisha in the Little Palace, she is admired for her strength and beauty, she armors herself with arrogance, and ruthlessness. But she has not friends. Both her and the Darkling are surrounded by people, they are admired, but they don’t have people close to their heart. The Darkling always cared about Baghra as much as he could still manage and Zoya cared only bout Liliyana and Lada (an orphan girl that her aunt had taken in).

The Darkling SAW her. He saw how she tried like no other, he saw her pain, her anger and he considered these to be things that he could use to control her and to push her towards the direction he desired. And despite not being appreciative of her devotion when he had it, he missed it when it was gone.

When Alina got in the picture everything changed for Zoya. Yes, Zoya had feelings for the Darkling and I DO believe that her feelings and vanity would have been hurt to some extent by the intimacy in the way he approached Alina, but the primary problem was Zoya’s sense of injustice. Zoya had tried for YEARS, had trained hard, had sacrificed to be where she is. Alina never asked for any of it, but from Zoya’s perspective Alina would have been an untrained Grisha who got all the status, power and recognition that SHE had fought for without even trying. Until then, Zoya had been praised for wanting power, but when her anger is not convenient anymore, the Darkling punishes her for it and does not have a second thought about her.

And yet she remained loyal as always.

Even more so than rank, the Darkling and Liliyana were Zoya’s safety-net. And in ONE MOMENT, by genociding Novokribirsk, Zoya’s own mentor, the one who gave her safety and who was meant to create a haven for the Grisha, a person who KNEW her and who KNEW that she had family there, showed that he had no care for her, not care for human life and she wiped out the last people that Zoya loved.

He left her broken inside. In Siege and Storm, Zoya was at her lowest. She has to plead to Alina to have a position in the second army and she has to reveal a part of her heart; not just her loss of Liliyana. Her voice BREAKS when she says that the Darkling could have warned her of his plan; her pain at the idea that he did not give a crap about taking EVERYTHING from her is raw and cutting.

But she is not a quitter. She adjusts, she pulls her pieces together fast, she is a warrior and she stays on the right side without a question.

Then the Darkling attacked the very Grisha he was supposedly fighting for and killed half the people that Zoya had EVER KNOWN. And she still keeps fighting.

Enter Rule of Wolves. There is SUCH DEEP IRONY in this book and the way Zoya and the Darkling’s arcs interconnect is a prime example of Leigh’s amazing writing.

The Darkling had told Zoya that they would change the world and he completely stopped paying attention to her the moment the potential of Alina’s power blinded him to anything else. And yet, when he returns Zoya has gained the kind of power that could eventually rival his own. But he STILL thinks that he should be the one to rule Ravka. He still thinks that he is the best option for the country. And once more, he criminally underestimates Zoya and overestimates himself.

Who else is vengeful and afraid of his own heart, I wonder…

Aleksander considered Zoya weak for the very same things that were his own fatal flaws.

But unlike him, Zoya SAW her flaws. The Darkling shut himself off more and more in order to save himself from pain. Zoya eventually opened up her heart to grief and pain to become the person her country needed and to embrace her power. She opened the door, when the Darkling did not manage to do so. She showed more courage than he did… and he SAW it.

Aleksander hoped to become the savior during the battle, he wished to demonstrate how only HE could save Ravka. But seeing Nikolai and Zoya defending the country is the first time it registers that there are others who are up to the task and who may be better suited than he is.

And he becomes essential in Zoya being accepted as a saint and in her rise to power partly because he wants to gain her favor but also because he finally sees all her potential, all she can achieve, how a Grisha queen of such power might give the Grisha the haven they need, when he clearly can’t.

And what is left for him to do? What does he want? He wants to serve the country he loves in a way that will affirm his sense of self-importance (he wants to offer something that no one else can) and he wants to be loved. So his new objective is to stop the blight.

The blight was created because of his own power. This man who hunted down and ruined the life of a young girl (Alina) in order to force her to be his balance, so that he could freely use his power in a very imbalanced way, finally realizes that HE is responsible for his power and that HE can be the only one to balance it and himself. So there is a new path he sees ahead of him: he can sacrifice himself to stop the blight and in the process Ravka might finally see that he always wanted to protect the country… and it might love him back. He KNOWS that he has committed crimes, he does not seek redemption, but he desired for all he has done to matter. And it can’t matter if he is not at all responsible for its country’s well-being and if everyone hates him. He has lived so many lifetimes without happiness or fulfillment and they would all have been wasted.

But he can’t achieve this by himself. This man who always thought that he could do things alone, and who took away everything Zoya had fought for, NEEDS her allowance for his centuries-long life to gain a scrap of meaning. He needs her allowance to be appreciated and loved.

I can’t be the only one who sees what a beautiful twist of fate this is.

At the same time Zoya herself understands the Darkling. She understands how anger and using power as a coping mechanism can corrupt. Knowing herself and seeing how he turned out are essential in her becoming a good ruler. He is the cautionary tale of what she could but will never allow herself to become.

When he explains his plan, she KNOWS that he’ll be in eternal pain and she has does not mind that his will be his fate. But when she sees the aftermath of his sacrifice and when she feels the kind of pain he’ll be experiencing for eternity, it leaves her shaken. She feels that pain in her own heart and this is not a fate that she wishes even on him. Genya and Alina are very much willing to let him rot but Zoya, who also believed that she could forgive him, feels that she has to.The Darkling has not redeem himself. He is doing penance. But as Genya mentions, there’s a fine line when one has to do the math of how much a person has to pay and of how much pain they have to feel before their punishment stops being just and they become victims instead. Zoya, being afraid of becoming him, knows that learning to show forgiveness is the only way forward, it’s the way for her to keep her heart open and not become the avalanche.

Zoya Nazyalensky has become everything that Aleksander Morozova, the lost boy, wished to be. Poweful, eternal, with friends, with a true partner, holding the best position a Grisha could imagine without forcing her rule and finally giving their people a true chance without comprominsing them.

The Darkling was hoping that Alina would have been his balance. We are told how she might make him a better man and she might make him a monster.

But at the end of the day it’s Zoya who allows the Darkling to become the closest thing to decent that he can be at this point.

It’s the Darkling’s life that allows Zoya to see the lines that she will not cross and how to not become a monster.

And it’s Zoya’s ability to forgive him and her willingness to save him that becomes the backbone for the next phase of the Grishaverse, whenever Leigh decides to write it.

The way their paths entangle will always be at the core of the story.

_______________________

@myfriendscallmeraba I’m tagging you because you asked for it. It’s very encouraging to have someone interested in my ramblings.

#shadow and bone #rule of wolves #row #zoya nazyalensky #the darkling #aleksander morozova #sab meta #row meta

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mistchievous · 3 years ago

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This fandom has a very strange divide when it comes to Shannon Diaz.

I say strange because I don’t think you’re all as divided as you think you are. I think you’re coming from different places and completely missing each other. I might be wrong, but let me explain what I mean.

First, it’s possible to have multiple emotions and opinions about a character. You don’t have to despise a character completely or adore a character completely. And if you do either of those things, you should acknowledge when a character isn’t two-dimensional. Like, I love this character including their flaws. Or even, I love this character despite their flaws.

The issue with Shannon is that the diverging opinions seem to be coming from two different places. I say this because I personally have differing opinions regarding Shannon that align with both “sides” of this depending on how I’m looking at her.

There are opinions regarding Shannon’s character inside the narrative, and there are opinions regarding Shannon’s character outside the narrative. And those opinions clash.

I’m going to explain this as clearly as I can.

Inside the narrative, we’re talking about Shannon as though she’s a real person and we’re judging that character based on her actions.

The main thing people talk about, of course, is Shannon abandoning Eddie and more importantly Chris.

Then others point out that Eddie also left, but fans have been willing to forgive him. So why not Shannon? To which Side #1 points out that Eddie "redeemed” himself whereas Shannon did not. To which Side #2 points out that Shannon didn’t get the chance to redeem herself because she was hit by a car.

I tend to fall more in line with Side #1 on this though I understand where Side #2 is coming from. And there are two main reasons why. (Though again, please understand that Side #2 falls more in line with the outside narrative which I’ll address in a minute.)

One reason is because I feel like Side #2 is misrepresenting the differences between Shannon and Eddie as parents and what they “did”. And I’m not talking about Eddie being gone for work whereas Shannon just left. I’m intimately aware that money is no substitute for a person’s actual presence. My dad can help me out as much as he wants financially, and I know he loves me. But it will never compare to everything my mom has done for me emotionally by supporting me as a person and really getting to know and understand me.

When I say there’s a difference between Shannon’s form of “leaving” and Eddie’s form of “leaving”, I mean this. Shannon completely removed herself from her son’s life. She was gone. She didn’t even stay in contact as far as we know. Whereas Eddie may have run away physically, but he was still there in a way. He still communicated with both Shannon and Chris. He still went home to them on leave. I’m not defending what he did or saying that he was being the parent or husband he needed to be. I’m just saying that these two things are different. And I would honestly argue that one is more easy to “forgive” than the other, but that’s just my personal opinion.

Now. The second reason I tend to fall in line with Side #1 from inside the narrative is because Side #2 is kind of assuming that Shannon would have redeemed herself if given the chance and that she was worthy of that forgiveness.

They might be right, but they also might be wrong. First of all, loving your child does not excuse hurting them. And while Shannon did love Chris, she also caused him a large amount of emotional pain. So even if she did “redeem herself” as a parent, no one is obligated to forgive her for abandoning him. And it’s important to note that if Shannon were Chris’ father instead of his mother, people would probably be far less inclined to even give her a second chance. Much less think that trying to better herself and be a better parent meant people were obliged to forgive her and see her more favorably. It’d be more like “Oh. So now he wants to step up and be there.” Whereas for a mom it’s like “Oh, she was struggling so much. And she came back. And she loves her son. Etc.”

As a society, we tend to put moms on a pedestal and see dads as secondary. And it affects how we react to the things they do.

But also, even inside the narrative, there’s no guarantee that she actually would have stuck around for Chris. She completely abandoned him once, and she could do it again. And arguably, it would be easier to do the second time. Even if she loved Chris and didn’t want to hurt him. She loved him the first time too. Loving someone doesn’t mean you’re incapable of causing them pain. So this idea that Shannon would have redeemed herself is a hopeful one. Not a fact. And even if she did, no one is obligated to forgive her. There’s no scale where if she does enough good things, it magically erases the bad. Forgiveness is personal. You choose to forgive someone. People can’t buy it from you with their actions.

Now, let’s talk about outside the narrative.

This is where I more line up with Side #2.

When people say Shannon “deserved” a redemption arc and that what was done to her character was fucked up, it’s not a defense of her inside the narrative. At least in my understanding.

This is where you’re talking about Shannon from a creative standpoint. Where you’re stepping back from the story and viewing her as a character.

Let me explain.

While you may not like Shannon as a person, creatively she was a well-developed character. She was complex and had a variety of motives. She had an actual background that we got to see bits of in Eddie Begins. She was built into someone important who could have played a very interesting role in the story.

Instead, they basically fridged her. They said “Eh. I don’t feel like dealing with this character and all the complexities they add to the story, so let’s just kill her off.” And they did. They turned an interesting and multi-faceted character into a plot device and used her death to focus on Eddie. The woman died, and her death became all about Eddie. (And Chris, but the man pain was the main focus. Let’s be real.)

It was sloppy and weak writing, and I would argue that yes. Shannon’s character deserved to be handled better. Not because she was a great person, but because she was a good character. Not to mention the fact that it’s also a bit misogynistic because this sort of nonsense is almost always geared at female characters. Not the male ones.

(If you watch Lone Star, they pulled some similar nonsense with Charles Vega. And I was pissed. And so was a lot of the fandom. Tommy got an entire episode devoted to her coming to terms with his death, but I’ll be interested to see if they drag her grief out for an entire season like they did for Eddie. If her pain has the same level of focus his did. Because if they skip to her moving on, I will burst into ugly laughter. Especially when unlike with Eddie and Shannon, Tommy and Charles had a very loving and well-founded relationship that was going strong. So, the idea that Eddie would be more consumed by grief over Shannon than Tommy would be over Charles would have me side-eying the screen a bit. Even though I know grief is a very personal process. But I’m getting sidetracked. Back to Shannon.)

I’m not saying Shannon’s character should have been handled better in that she deserved to redeem herself and be forgiven and be a mom to Chris and yadda yadda. That’s all inside the narrative.

I’m saying that as a character, it would have been better to follow her. Not run her over with a car. Even if she had that “redemption arc”, it would be a more compelling story for her to fail. For her to try and redeem herself and then get “overwhelmed” by parenthood and make more mistakes. And if she didn’t continue to fail, there could have been the focus on divorce and how that affects families and children. How she and Eddie navigate their issues with one another to continue parenting Chris.

Instead, no. They killed her. It was lazy and irritating writing.

So, that’s what I mean when I say I don’t think you’re all as divided as you might believe.

Because honestly, I think most of you have a more complex view of her that lines up with this in a lot of ways, but it’s not something people have time to really explain. So, it comes out as “Ugh. I don’t like Shannon,” which rubs some people wrong who are viewing her as a character. Or it comes out as “Ugh. Shannon deserved better,” which rubs other people wrong who are viewing her as a person and parent.

This is just what I’m seeing and taking away from everything, and I hope it helps clear things up for some of you. Or gives you a better understanding of where the other side might be coming from. ❤️

I don’t claim to speak for the entire fandom. It’s just eyebrow-raising to me. Because I hold both opinions, so I don’t really get why there’s a big debate.

#and there i go word vomiting on tumblr again #lol!#in this essay i will #shannon diaz #911 discourse #long post #mist speaks

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iloveitwhen · 4 years ago

Text

What Team?

OK! SO I thought I knew where this was going then it started becoming a Lila redemption arc but that was about to be like probably 5 long chapters then i changed it and started writing in Lila’s view but for some reason I couldn’t write it in anyone else’s so this is in Lila’s POV and Imma do a part 2 with other pov’s and extend the story a bit

this is for @miracleofadisaster cause they asked for it and based off of this post by @unmaskedagain

there’s a cuss word in here somewhere if ya’ll care. also i hope i did it justice!❤️❤️💜

Part 2

Things were… not going as planned. Which was basically impossible since everything goes Lila’s way but this class, oh boy this class was stubborn. Instead of choosing between Marinette or Lila the class collectively agreed to ignore and not believe Lila when she spoke of Marinette nor Marinette when she spoke of Lila. It was a little awkward at first but as time went on it got easier and easier for the class to ignore the two girls when they spoke of the other. And Lila was NOT happy about it. She had promised that brat that she would take every single one of her friends away until she was alone and ostracized. And she was not one to go back on promises. Marinette had dropped the situation but Lila was determined, she would not lose so she was forced to come up with alternate ways to take the other girl’s friends away. Lila originally planned to take Alya away first but the girl was too bullheaded and refused to believe that her “bestie” would ever hurt another soul, she had told Lila “I know you don’t trust Marinette but you tripped and I know Marinette well enough to know she wouldn’t do that! And besides, we all know Chloe framed Marinette and put your necklace in her locker. Simple!”

Lila groaned in annoyance. Just what would she have to resort to to get these fools on her side? Sure Lila was a little heartless, ok very heartless, but she didn’t want to physically beat up Marinette, well it didn’t really have anything to do with having a heart or not, Lila was just too lazy to exert physical energy like that. She was staring out of the window of her mother’s car when a familiar flash of black hair and pale skin passed her peripherals and she whipped her head to find Marinette blushing profusely while talking to some boy in the park by school. She watched them become smaller as she got further away for a moment before a smile crept onto Lila’s face and she relaxed back into her seat. The Destruction of Marinette was finally coming.

---

Lila sauntered in the classroom the next day, it was before class started so of course Marinette was not there but Alya was speaking animatedly with Rose and Juleka in the back of the classroom.

“Hey guys! Guess what I saw yesterday?” she spoke in an excited tone that always got those oafs enraptured in her stories.

“Oooo, girl tell me,” Alya held a glint in her eye and while Rose practically vibrated through her chair, Juleka just sat there not being one to show emotion.

“So you know how Marinette has a crush on Adrien?” Immediately Alya and the other two girls looked between each other growing uncomfortable. Ok, fair enough, not the best course of action. “No no no! I’m sorry, not like that! I just saw her yesterday at the park with some tall, dark haired boy and it looked like she was like, into him, you know? She was blushing pretty hard. He was pretty cute and I just thought that they looked so cute together! I just think she might be over Adrien now!” Maybe if these girls believed that Marinette wasn’t into Adrien they'd help her get with him, Alya has told plenty of stories of them joining forces to get Marinette to ask out Adrien, all she had to do was convince the lot to switch out Marinette for her. Simple enough. Except now Alya was laughing, why was she laughing?

“I’m sorry it’s just-” Alya burst out into laughter again before straightening up and grabbing Lila’s shoulders and looking into her eyes, “trust me, Marinette does not have another crush, besides whoever that guy was there's no way he’s better than Adrien.” Ok. Rude.

“But he actually seemed pretty nice….”

Juleka spoke up which startled Lila so much she flinched back, “What did he look like?”

“Well he was pretty tall and he had black hair with blue tips, he was handsome too.” Lila prayed Marinette had good taste in men because if she just called some random, ugly dude “handsome” she’d be mortified. Lila’s thoughts were washed away when Rose gasped and Juleka gave Lila a rare smile.

“Aww,” Rose squeaked, turning to her friend, “Juleka that is so cu-”

“Wait, she was blushing because of LUKA? Seriously? That knockoff Jagged Stone? Please, Marinette actually has class. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an air headed buffoon. I mean c'mon.” Lila’s jaw dropped, she couldn’t help it! That was just so, so rude! Even Lila didn’t insult people straight up like that, not only did she insult that boy, who honestly Lila didn’t really care about, but she insulted her! Lila was many things and being insulted and basically called stupid was not something she liked to be.

Juleka slammed her hands on the table making everyone in the classroom jump and look over at the four and stood up glaring at Alya.

“ExcUSE ME?” Lila’s brows shot up at the quiet girl’s outburst, so many things were happening today.

“Sorry, girl, I didn’t mean it like tha-”

“My brother is amAZing. He and Marinette would be perfect together. He’s respectful, kind, and actually cares for Marinette!” Juleka was fuming which shocked everyone speechless, but headstrong Alya got over it quickly and retorted,

“No way, Adrien is way better for her, he’s also respectful and kind AND his father is Gabrial Agrest.”

“Please, the brat doesn’t even like Marinette,” Rose gasped at ‘brat’ but Juleka ignored her and attempted to mimic Adrien’s voice saying, “she’s just a friend!” Alya gasped in offense.

“You take that back!”

“Why? There’s literally no reason to because it’s true.” The two were completely oblivious to the stares they were getting from everyone who had trickled into the classroom. The only ones not present were the ones being talked about and Ms. Bustier. No one dared to interrupt or make a sound, not even Lila since they were all so shocked that Juleka was actually arguing with someone, and so passionately. None of them had ever even heard her speak so loudly before.

Alya was about to retort when Alix hissed, “they’re coming!” and in walked Marinette with a slight blush talking with Adrien who was rubbing the back of his neck with a shy smile. Alya shot Juleka a smug smile before turning and jogging to her spot.

Nobody paid any mind to Lila who stayed rooted in her spot with blood slowly draining from her face.

What just happened?

Not only did they defend Marinette but they argued about who was better for her. And Alya just so blatantly insulted her. Like she was nothing. Alya will suffer for that.

Lila turned and slowly walked to her seat and plopped onto it, ignoring Nathaniel's side glance. After a moment she smiled to herself, all she had to do was convince everyone else that this "Luka" was better for Marinette so she could have Adrien all to herself.

Lila really didn't know what she was getting into.

---

For the rest of the day Lila joined forces with Juleka and Rose to spread the news of the newly coined "Lukanette" pairing. Alya was not having an easy time hiding how offended she was that people so easily turned their backs on Adrien, the girl really needed to learn to let go. Lila was going to tear “Adrienette” away from her if it was the last thing she did.

Meanwhile, Juleka and Rose worked overtime, with a few smartly placed words and here and there the two were determined to turn the rest of the class on their side. They, plus Lila, had become the forefront runners for the Lukanette campaign, and as shameful as she felt campaigning for Maribrat she convinced herself that it was for the better. One step back two steps forward, once the class was "Lukanette" believers she'd have Adrien to herself and it would be one more step to take the throne and continue The Destruction of Marinette. She’d feel the disgust churning in her stomach but she'd still do it. It was for the greater good.

Nathaniel refused to partake, Ivan was firmly Team Luka while Mylene chose Team Adrien since she didn’t know Luka that well and Adrien was always nice to her, Alix laughed at everyone and didn’t pick a side but was slightly stingy when Kim and Max pledged Team Adrien, and of course Nino decked himself out in Team Adrien gear, seriously the boy came into school with something new everyday. However, Adrien became Team Luka to support the nice dark haired boy even though he had no idea why his classmates were creating “Teams” between himself and Luka, but he “just wanted it to be fair!” The surprise came from Sabrina when she herself pledged Team Luka while Chloe was Team Adrien. It was a week after the Teams began and at first it was all fun and games but that moment when Sabrina switched sides it became war and there was an immediate shift in the air. During school Team Luka did not speak with Team Adrien at all and vice versa, after school the teams were forgotten, except of course when Alix, who was always one to sow discord, would mention it during a class hangout and chaos would ensue. Then shirts were made, inspired by one of Nino’s bracelets that he determined marked him officially as “Team Adrien,” and the civil war within the classroom became official. Marinette of course was completely oblivious and refused to ask why everyone was wearing shirts and refused to get dragged in, not realizing she was the center of this little war.

At first it was only Juleka and Rose who wore the teal tie dyed Team Luka shirts but when Alya and Chloe walked in wearing their own Team Adrien gear Lila’s fury raged. That day after class Lila snatched a Team Luka shirt that Juleka and Rose made with Marinette to wear the next day. When she walked in the next morning she felt Alya and Chloe’s eyes burn into her soul but she refused to back down, she felt shame rise in her but held her head up high but not missing Marinette’s dropped jaw at the sight of her.

Two steps forward one step back, she kept telling herself. No one insults her and gets away with it. Alya will go down with Marinette and Lila’s dignity.

It became an even bigger deal when Alix tweeted the situation of her class and Chloe retweeted it with evidence that Adrien was better which in turn dragged Jagged Stone in and people were warring over who was better looking, nicer, more talented, etc. It definitely could have ruined some careers in the process but Juleka happily relayed to Lila that Luka was just happy that 3 million people were “Team Luka” with 2.8 million “Team Adrien” and many of them were begging to hear his music.

Unfortunately this news reached the Waynes. How the ever loving shit did Marinette even KNOW the Waynes was completely beyond Lila. The girl was a freaking nobody, if Lila didn’t break her quickly she might surpass Lila and that just wouldn’t do. The reason Lila knew the Waynes had found out was because Alix, that hotheaded brat who refused to pick a side, showed up in a black shirt with bold green letters that spelled out ‘TEAM DAMIAN’ and on the back it said ‘FIND YOUR OWN GIRL’. Lila asked who Damian was and the whole class heard her when she said, “Damian Wayne, obviously.” Lila screamed into her pillow until she couldn’t breath when she got home that day. There HAD to be a solution to all of this, she wanted to desperately stop faking that she cared who Marinette ended up with, just as long as it wasn’t Adrien. Or Damian freaking Wayne.

Team Luka:

Lila, Juleka, Rose, Ivan, Sabrina, Adrien

Team Adrien:

Alya, Chloe, Nino, Kim, Max, Mylene

Team Damian:

Alix

More shall arrive for Team Damian

Part 2 Teaser heehee

“Hey Marinette?" The girl called looked up from her sketchbook to see Juleka nervously tapping on her desk with her nails and Rose standing behind her with a look that could only be described as sparkly. Marinette raised an eyebrow but smiled kindly at them.

"Yes?"

"So umm *ahem* can you help me and Rose make shirts that say "Team Luka" on them?"

"Team lu- uhmm sure?"

Juleka have her a rare smile and a soft "thanks" before returning to her seat with Rosa who squeaked "you're the best Marinette!" Marinette gave the girl a weak smile and a small nod of appreciation and just stared in confusion at the spot where the two girls stood previously.

What?

Part 2

#ladybug #miraculous ladybug #adrinette #lukanette #daminette #maribat #adrien x marinette #luka x marinette #damian x marinette

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davekat-sucks · 3 years ago

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as someone who doesn't like Eridan I am curious as to why he is your favorite character.

Part of it is his design that really stands out from most of the other characters. Eridan is quite more fashionable than Kanaya. He at least show more emphasis on him being the respective violetblood he takes pride in, while also wearing blue, another color that is related to highblood status. As well as blue being part of a violet shade. Though if you try to tell him vviolets are blue, he will damn correct you that vviolets are vviolets. Learn your damn colors! Another is a bit of his personality. He is a douche, a tool. A violetblood who takes advantage of being high privileged and will put others down beneath him, because the hemospectrum says so. He is more racist than Equius. He is the perfect example of what a troll should be and how trolls should act. Too many fantroll OCs go for the more revolutionary against Alternia or being the "nicer" troll. But no one tries to be racist to lowbloods like a rustblood or bronze. No highblood fans themselves with their money or seen to enjoy living a luxurious lifestyle. He is the OG real deal of what it is like if someone is born under Her Imperious Condescesion's ruling. The only thing that he does have a fear that even he cannot escape as a highblood, was the pailing. Basically, he needs to fuck with someone or he dies, because Eridan did not contribute to help repopulate his race. It's already bad enough sea dwellers are rare to come by and his quadrants are empty as hell. Despite being the rich kid, Eridan craves for attention, whether be red romance or black hatred. Any one of those would be able to please him, if it meant it could comfort his ease of loneliness. The way he approaches could be seen as creepy, but at least Eridan is honest about his feelings. He doesn't dance around or lie hard to those close to him. It's that same advice of being direct that he tells to Kanaya, because she will not get Vriska's attention that way. It's also why he can't kill land dwellers. He wants to have good relationships with them. It's that same relationship that shows he his a hypocrite. The dude rants about being a sea dweller and wanting to kill all land dwellers. But he never acts on it. He only commissions people to build doomsday devices, but never makes one himself. Eridan spends most of his time on land than at sea, as Feferi points out. He has an interests in wizards, but doesn't believe in magic. That's a bit of parallel of Rose's interest to write yaoi wizard fics, but she dislikes wizards themselves because of her mother's encouragement of her hobby (though Rose was over analyzing her intentions, she did not realize Mom Lalonde did care about her well being despite Sburb going to happen). The man collects various weapons, but his main strife specibus is his rifle. We don't actually know if he uses the harpoons, spears, or other weapons he has collected in his hive. It could relate to Eridan's interest in military history and wanting to be like said general figures and dictators. But we rarely see him gather some army or actually trying to lead like one. He is all glub and no bite. It's sort of interesting that he is flawed. And of course, we cannot address about his actions in Murderstuck. You can sort of sympathize with him in some way. He lost his moirail, he has no other friends left, his home planet is destroyed, and this big bad Jack Noir is going to kill them. With Alternia gone, anything like hemospectrum or highblood lowblood status, don't mean SHIT if they have to abandon it. That means, Eridan has nothing left on himself. All of this happened as he was still a TEENAGER. The poor fish was feeling hopeless and his actions were caused by his own emotions. It's different from Gamzee, who can be seen controlled by Caliborn/Lord English or was willing to follow to help for his cause. Different from Vriska, as she wants to be seen as the big hero by raising the stakes even higher than before. I sort of wished that he could have faced Gamzee in some way during that x3 showdown combo, since their aspects are complementary towards each other. It would also be

fitting he gets revenge for Dualscar's death, by killing the descendant of the Grand Highblood. He and Vriska could have worked together one last time against the clown. Part of me also jokingly thinks Eridan would try to convince Vriska to take him to Jack in order to serve him. It's sort of a question of how exactly Eridan would get Jack Noir's attention. It is never explained how, even when Feferi and Sollux agreed they have to stop him. Would he fire his wwand to make a signal beam to get Jack to fly over? Would he asks Vriska to deliver himself to the man? No one knows, but either way, his surrender out of fear could be seen as dumb and cowardly. Sucks that he got killed by end of Act 5. But probably for the best he stayed dead, so that his character wasn't ruined from Act 6 to Pesterquest. His character not doing much as a sprite was one of the worst offenses. He really could have helped Jake about his Hope powers, but every dead troll there was shafted aside. At least let FEFPETASPRITE TALK. Don't use her as a joke, just because Hussie doesn't want to do Feferi and Nepeta's quirk in one chatlog! Then there's the half assed "redemption" joke bit from Epilogues and the ridiculous gender arc by retconning Eridan's backstory and forgetting about another character's relation with his lusus. Because WhatPumpkin don't want him to be a racist, rich creep asshole. And yet, it's why I love him. Eridan is one flawed, tragic villain. Maybe I just have a weird interests in douchebags who try so hard to be liked or acknowledged of being superior by putting others down to push their own pride, but with the way that has been set for Eridan, sort of makes sense to me that he would do all these actions. It's fucked up, but I can't blame him for being put in that kind of situation. Being a kid and growing up, it's hard and nobody understands. His life was an Ugly Story.

#Eridan Ampora #Homestuck #Homestuck epilogues #Pesterquest

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago

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One of the underrated moments of 3b was when Magnus told maryse he doesn't want to burden Alec and she tells him Magnus is part of the family now and he goes 😍 really?? 😍 and then alec tells him he is too much and u can see magnus taking a second to respond because all his newly formed hopes that maybe he isn't too much gets broken like its so heartbreaking that scene is so well acted we don't talk enough about it

god yeah!!!!!!!!!! everything about that moment is SO heartbreaking because magnus was finally daring to hope, after three seasons of expecting alec to get tired of him at the drop of a hat. he was always ready for something to be too much for alec and for the FIRST time he actually allowed himself to believe that alec was in it for the long run, that he would accept magnus even when he wasnt completely powerful and useful and put-together

and i dont think its just maryse saying that but specifically the fact that the night before alec had said "let me be here for you". it always breaks me that THIS LINE, not anything else, was what made magnus break down in his arms. because he had been trying so hard to keep it in and not be a burden and be cheerful and give alec what he wanted, and then alec begged him to just let him help and that. was so powerful because magnus felt so alone and he had been trying so hard not to put this on alec but then alec desperately ASKS him to. and it's such a shock and a relief and at the same time so terrifying his walls finally finish crumbling and he cries so hard his knees buckle and holy fucking shit that scene was so amazing too

so like who wouldnt feel a little more grounded after that? alec didnt just put up with magnus' pain, no, he asked magnus to please let him help him. to be honest. to cry and let alec wipe the tears and deal with the "ugly" parts of him, the fragile parts, the parts that couldnt stand to be strong on their own anymore. and that's all magnus ever wanted, yet didn't really dare to hope for

so for the first time he feels confident that he has someone to lean on. someone he can allow himself to crumble with, even if only for a second and then he's back to trying to get his life together. but for once he's not afraid alec will think he's too much and leave him. in fact, when alec says he needs a break, MAGNUS DOESN'T GET IT. it's such a stark contrast with the magnus who needed reassurance that alec didn't think less of him because of his father, or the magnus who said he never wanted alec to know about his past, or even the magnus from just a day before who tried to bolt and escape alec before alec saw him crumble for real. but i think it makes sense; because of that line from alec. how could he doubt alec would stay with him, when alec had just given him everything he ever wanted, possibly even more? this held so much significance for magnus; alec begging to be there for him was a complete game changer for him

and like dont get me wrong, that line from alec didnt single handedly solve his self esteem issues or anything, both because he still has a long way to go and because he had been learning, however slowly, to open up and let himself be supported for a century now. it's why he ever even got with alec in the first place; because he was daring to try to be vulnerable again. but that line, at the very least, changed magnus' confidence in their relationship. doubly so when maryse lightwood, of all fucking people, promised that they'd be there for him. and she meant it, too, because maryse doesn't say anything she doesn't mean, now does she

and im not going to get into the whole maryse lightwood redemption arc™ thing, but still. this matters. he felt accepted. he had people promising to be there for him, and holy shit, he actually believed them

and then it all immediately fell apart. and he was so confused and this very shaky confidence in his relationship with alec just crumbled. and thats what he meant when he said "i can't lose you too, alec" - not that he couldn't bear to live without him, but that this relationship was the one thing that was finally, finally helping him convince himself that it was okay to ask for help, that he had worth. that he was more than just useful and powerful and capable of helping others, that he had value for himself, too. that people wouldn't leave him to rot as soon as he stopped being worthwhile

it's also why he wanted to erase his memories, because the scar of that - finally allowing himself to believe, just for a little, that it was okay to not be put together every once in a while, only to have that hope completely crushed - honestly threatened his recovery so much, and could throw him back so far. like, don't get me wrong, alec was special to him, their relationship was special, and that also played a part. but one can live without romantic love, even a great one. and magnus had done it before, was used to it even. it's the impact it had on his self esteem that was too much to bear in a state as fragile as he already was

and in short yeah that scene hurts like hell

#u: 3b breakup- me: say no more #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #malec #meta #magnus bane meta #ask #anonymous

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aspoonofsugar · 4 years ago

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Hello, I would like to know what you think about the discussion that Cinder and Watts had.

It is interesting to note that what Watts tells Cinder is that her suffering doesn't make her strong or special or worthy of anything and by extension Watts tells Cinder that as much as she pretends that her suffering made her strong in reality she is still quite fragile and vulnerable because she hasn't been able to overcome her trauma and still wants to give meaning to her life and suffering.

Hello anons!

These two asks can be answered together.

First of all, I really liked that scene! It is probably my favourite moment of the episode together with the sequence in the underground.

I think there are two ways to see Watts and Cinder’s interaction in the episode.

1) Cinder

Cinder: You’re right. Without you I am nothing. But because of you, I am everything.

As I have written here:

Cinder’s way of thinking is very similar to Mercury’s. Not only have they both endured their parents’ violence, but they have tried to give this violence meaning. It is because of Madame that Cinder has become “everything” and it is because of Marcus that Mercury has become “strong”. They must believe that it was not all for nothing and that the pain they felt made them stronger instead of weaker.

This is why Cinder thinks that deep down her “hunger” is good. It is because it drives her, but she ignores that it blinds her too.

The idea that suffering made her stronger and more deserving than others is Cinder’s main coping mechanism.

She was treated as nothing, so she needs to believe she is secretly worthy of things others are negated. As I have stated here, she deep down wants to be chosen:

I would say that Cinder wants to be chosen. She wants to be special and to be given value. This is probably why she is serving Salem. It is because Salem has chosen her for an important role.

Well, Watts’s speech is about exactly this:

Watts: You think you’re entitled to everything because you’ve suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you need to be worthy.

In a couple of phrases he deconstructs Cinder’s coping mechanism and this is why she is made to feel so vulnerable.

The whole point of Cinder is that she should stop reducing herself to her trauma and pain. By doing so, she both dehumanizes herself and dismisses others.

She dehumanizes herself because she tries to overcome her inferiority complex by looking for power and she does not realize that this is turning her into a monster:

Raven: Aura can’t protect your arm, it’s Grimm. You turned yourself into a monster just for power.

She dismisses others because she is so focused on her own pain that she can’t notice others’.

In short, she must stop pretending everything revolves around her and should start working on herself and her own issues. This is thematically what Watts’s speech is about. It also ties to the teaching of the Fall Maiden about choice. Destiny is not something that is given to you, but something you work towards:

Pyrrha: When I think of destiny, I don’t think of a predetermined fate you can’t escape. But rather… some sort of final goal, something you work towards your entire life.

Cinder is looking for worth outside herself. She wants Salem to recognize her and magical powers to be strong. She misses that self-worth is something only Cinder can grant herself.

However, things are not as simple in-universe because Watts is not referring to this in his speech. What he wants is not for Cinder to overcome her issues and to realize serving Salem is wrong. What Watts wants is for her to become better at her job.

Not only that, but in Watts’s speech there is hidden also this message that @luimnigh and @harostar have discussed here. Their posts are already clear, so I won’t spend much time on it.

The main idea is that Watts is worthy, while Cinder is not and how it goes back to their different upbringings and social status. In short, Watts is an Atlesian elite, while Cinder is a no-one, who was bought as a slave. Cinder keeps feeling this difference and can’t really break free from this kind of mentality.

That said, I think this last point gains more nuance when one looks at what this speech means for Watts himself.

2) Watts

Watts’s allusion is Watson and WoG says that he is Watson if he had connected with Moriarty instead of Sherlock. Personally, I think that as for now another good way to describe his allusion is that he is Watson if he were jealous of Sherlock instead of loyal to him.

As for now, Watts’s defining trait is his jealousy of Pietro Polendina and of his creation:

Watts: She’ll open the vault and she’ll destroy herself...And our little Penny problem would be...

It is not by chance that he wants to blow her up, even if that would not really be necessary. The Little Penny Problem he is talking about is really his problem and not Salem’s, who could not care less about Penny once she has the relic.

Watts wants to destroy Penny because he wants to be better than Pietro. Still, he misses why Pietro is better than him:

Watts: She’s on a set-path now...At least she should be...As much as I hate to admit it there seems to be some part of her capable of resisting...

As we know, the part of Penny who is capable of resisting is her humanity. Penny is a masterpiece not because she is a war machine, but because she is a real girl. This is the core of Pietro’s genius and this is what Watts can’t grasp:

Watts: Our tin soldier's heart has cost him his mind. We need to keep their attention on Mantle for as long as possible.

Watts, just like Ironwood, believes that feelings make you weak and stupid. Of course, this is the anti-thematic statement which has already been proven wrong over and over. Even when it comes to the situation above, Watts is actually being baited by Ironwood and him falling for it results in his arrest. The moment Ironwood is more open about his feelings is also the moment he is acting more logically.

In short, Watts is a brilliant scientist, who bought in Atlas’s ideology that you must pursue success at all costs. You must be strong/clever because only in this way you can be successful. If you let feelings cloud your determination/mind, you are a failure.

However, it is precisely this ideology taken to its extreme that is Watts’s own downfall.

He can’t understand Pietro’s ideal and is overshadowed by him. What is more, the idea of not being the first in his field drives him to disgrace.

His backstory makes so that Inside team WTCH Watts represents Salem’s entitlement.

This makes him similar to Cinder, as well. He is different from her for upbringing and status. Still, they both have the same flaw. They believe they are entitled to things.

Cinder does so because she has suffered. She was no-one, so now she must be the most important person in the world.

Watts does so because he was born an elite and he should stay an elite forever.

Watts is there not only to tell, but to show (both Cinder and the viewers) that the path Cinder is on leads nowhere. Watts had probably everything Cinder ever wanted. He was successful and rich. He did not have to worry about food or poverty. Still, that was not enough for him. He wanted more and this led him to betray his own country and to join a nihilistic witch.

In other words, Cinder will never find what she is looking for in power or success. Watts had both, but he is empty just like her. He is hungry just like her.

This is well conveyed symbolically by Watts being one of the very few characters that never unlocked his semblance. It means he never truly unlocked his full potential. He never truly understood who he wanted to be. He tried to be who his society wanted him to be, but he was not satisfied and decided to destroy it instead.

So, when Watts talks about the need to be smart and the difference between being deserving and worthy, he is actually talking about himself, probably without even realizing it. He is projecting his feelings of failure on Cinder. He was deserving, but not worthy. Pietro was the worthy one.

Other than these two, there is also another level to this confrontation that has been underlined by @misstrashchan here.

It is about the parallel between Cinder and Ironwood when it comes to their reactions to Watts spelling them the truth about themselves:

Ironwood: I will sacrifice... whatever it takes... to stop her.

Watts: Oh, I hope you do, James. I hope you do.

The difference, as the post above explains very well, is that Cinder is able to listen to Watts, while Ironwood ignores his words altogether.

This ties to how Ironwood’s inability to recognize his mistakes and to change his mind (literally what his semblance Mettle is about) is why he is the main villain in an arc where we are having the first redemption arc of one of our original trio of villains:

A redemption, which will probably be followed by other defections among the AceOps themselves.

In order to redeem one-self, a person must accept they were wrong and change their mind. Ironwood is unable to do so and this is why he is dangerous.

In conclusion, I love this confrontation because it is very complex, has many levels and is gray. In terms of complexity it reminds me of Tyrian’s interactions with Emerald and especially Mercury:

Tyrian is seen tormenting the two kids whenever he gets the chance. That said, he ironically ends up spelling out for them truths the two must face:

Tyrian: Do what makes you happy children… please? I’m begging you…

Tyrian: Of course she is! You’re surprised? Salem is destruction incarnate! Our mistress wishes to see the end of it all! There is no ideal more beautiful.

Tyrian is a great evil mentor because he manages to spell out what Emerald and Mercury should do and to make sure through his body language that they are not able to. He tells them the truth and threathens them, so that they can’t pursue what they need.

Here, Watts tells Cinder the truth by lashing out about how she is so worthless, that a machine must do her job.

It is also interesting because both Emerald and Mercury are clearly set-up to have an evil mentor figure:

Emerald and Hazel’s foiling has already paid off, while Mercury and Tyrian’s will probably pay off in the future.

I am not sure if Cinder will have a similar foiling/relationship with Watts. Still, it is an interesting possibility. Especially because one thing I would really like to happen with the original villain trio is for the abuse and the manipulation they are subjected to backfire. I would like for them to break free (with others’ help obviously because they can’t free themselves alone) by taking all these thematic truths they are told, so they can be manipulated, and to change them in teachings they can use against their abusers.

In short, I want Cinder to say...”Yeah, I do not need to be deserving of power because I am already worthy on my own”. And I want Mercury to free himself and to tell Tyrian...”This is what makes me happy”.

I think that this has partly happened with Emerald in the sense that Salem’s tactic to weaken her loyalty to Cinder through fear backfired:

Salem: Emerald... I want you to tell me whose fault this was. Now

Emerald: Cinder! We failed because of Cinder...

Salem: That's right. I want you to understand that failure. I want you to understand why Cinder must be left to toil in her isolation until she redeems herself.

The whole point of this interaction was to make Emerald submissive. It is clear Emerald is there for Cinder and not for Salem, so Salem frightened her and forced her to symbolically “betray” Cinder.

Still, this did not work for two reasons.

a) Emerald needs to see Cinder for who she is, so that she can break free from her.

b) Fear is among the factors that motivated Emerald to leave:

Yang: You're gonna have to try and summarize it. Why should we trust you?

Ren: Because she's scared. Just like us.

Not only that, but in an inversion of what usually happens with fear in the series, it is specifically because Emerald and JOYR are all scared that they can overcome their conflict and work together (as @echo-from-the-void. noticed). Fear has separated our protagonists from the AceOps, but has brought them Emerald.

These are my main thoughts on the scene, thank you for the asks!

#rwby #rwby meta #cinder fall #arthur watts #emerald sustrai #rwby volume 8 #rwby spoilers #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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johannesviii · 4 years ago

Text

This is a long post about Shaman King I started to write ages ago and I don’t have a good title for it

Let me tell you about Shaman King for a few minutes, okay. Because the new anime adaptation is coming in like 3 months and I’m still not ready for it. Also I started to write this post 5 years ago just because I re-read the whole thing at the time and it’s been in my drafts since then. Oops

But yeah Shaman King was the very first fandom I got into when I first had a real internet access, around 2003-2004. I was around fifteen. The manga was still going. And in retrospect, it was full of problems. Among other things:

Not enough female characters & questionable choices for most of the ones who actually have a part to play in the plot

A black character drawn with big lips (see above), and I REALLY HOPE this is gonna get fixed in the new anime ; I mean even the author stopped drawing him like that a few years ago when he did the “remix tracks” extra chapters so come on please

An imaginary native american tribe who, while pretty cool, is still imagined by a Japanese dude in 1999 soooo yeah there’s some rough corners here and there (edit: got some anon hate about that but I'm sorry, "ancient aliens" tropes always make me uncomfortable)

An art quality which gets worse and worse over time due to deadline pressures and an increasingly exhausted author

Was stopped before it could reach its natural conclusion (the author drew an actual ending years later and tbh it’s great so I’m putting this very low on the list)

So yeah. Manga from 1999. Problematic. Aged badly. It happens.

BUT.

In retrospect, most of it is such a kick in the metaphorical butt of shonen manga as a whole I can’t believe it was competing against Naruto and One Piece at some point?? Like

It’s a shonen so it plays the "dramatic and sudden power jump” game, but it uses it to reach a surprising conclusion (in the “new” ending I mean)

Most of the characters are “shamans” which means they can see ghosts and spirits, and they use them to fight, to work, or to help other people. This is a manga in which you’re gonna see a Russian shaman channeling a Vodyanoy spirit into a drum to create a torrential flood. You don’t see that in every manga

It’s stated right away that no shaman can be truely, irredeemably bad, because only good-natured people can see ghosts and spirits.

So, no matter how bad a villain may be, they must have had a good nature once even if they look like a complete bastard at the moment.

How far is the author willing to go with that concept? Pretty far

Even without talking about the main villain and how the story ends because, duh, spoilers... Like

My favorite character, who gets a full redemption arc later, cuts someone open in his first chapter

He’s one of the good guys 10 volumes later

Speaking of which the amount of gore in this manga has to be seen to be believed, Jump would never let this happen nowadays

If you’re wondering why this is in the “positive” (......?) list it’s because I was 14/15 and all kids that age crave blood and angst

The main character, Yoh, pictured above, is very laid-back, and I mean very. He listens to the in-world equivalent of Bob Marley and constantly wears big headphones. Also he wears sandals, and sometimes there’s a weed leaf drawn on his t-shirt

His parents arranged a mariage between him and a girl shaman even though they’re still teenagers, so this would have potential for High Drama - but surprisingly enough it turns out they like each other and after that he just goes around saying “this is my future wife” and she’s like “hello if you touch him I’m going to end you”

It sounds weird and it......... is, tbh, but it’s also refreshing among all the “ugh, girls, yuck” tropes that nearly all shonen mangas used to have at the time

Yoh’s main goal in life is to live with minimal effort

When his grandfather tells him he must train to participate in a shaman tournament which happens every 500 years, because the winner gets a wish granted by the Great Spirit, he decides his wish will be to make everybody’s life easy so that nobody will ever be forced to work or do shit they don’t want to do to survive anymore

Yoh Asakura is a Millenial icon don’t @ me

Speaking of which

Almost everyone in this series is broke as f█ck

Yoh owns a big house but that’s only because the price was ridiculously low since it’s the most haunted place in Tokyo and nobody else wants to live there. The house is constantly full of other characters (including enemies) who have literally nowhere else to go

The only important character who isn’t broke has money because his family is super rich but he hates all of them because they’re all bastards so it’s super awkward

Another character bought a really cool motorbike but he’s going to be in debt for the next 40 years

Also he’s a hobo

And also bi

What I’m trying to say is: relatable

Also the tournament is held by an imaginary Native American tribe. They’re also broke. All of them. The two judges who are in charge of the main characters live in a cramped appartment and often try to sell souvenirs in the street to pay the rent

I know that’s hashtag problematic but I still love them I can’t help it

Just like in most shonen mangas the hero seems to amass a big collection of Friends but since everyone is a weirdo in a way or another and comes from all over the world it looks even funnier

At some point during the tournament, the main characters have to form small groups of three in order to participate to the next part. Yoh’s team is one of the strongest teams among the ones we’ve met at this point, and is composed of 1) Yoh, a laid-back sleepy kid wearing toilet sandals 2) the aforementioned bi hobo who’s sad because his current crush is in a rival team, and 3) a thirty-something tatooed guy with no legs and an IV drip and who looks like he hasn’t slept since 1997

Oh and they all wear adds for a bath house

Because remember: everyone’s f█cking broke

Spoilers for the mid-point of the manga but I need to talk about it because it encapsulates everything I used to love in it

You’ve been warned

At some point the main character, Yoh, is asked to choose between staying in the tournament or resurrect his rival

This is framed as some kind of very heavy, very huge dilemma. Like oh no what will he do. Will he give up his dreams and hopes. Will You Push The Button(tm)

So the choice is presented to him

In a very dramatic way

And he immediately goes “there’s a way to save him?? YES PLEASE”

He doesn’t hesitate a single second and drops the tournament in a heartbeat to save the guy

This scene greatly contributed to make me a better person I’m not even joking at all

I love Yoh

So anyway I don’t have a proper conclusion for this

Shaman King is very flawed and its flaws need to be acknowledged to fully appreciate all the good things in it, and the “old” fandom from more than 15 years ago was a very good formative experience for me because the forum I was on (which was nuked from the face of the internet by a hacker “looking for training grounds” (his words not mine, he posted it on our frontpage a full week before he did it) in 2005, rip) was full of people who were really into criticising every little aspect of the manga but still loved it dearly

And I think that’s a healthy way to enjoy things and I think we should bring this back

Anyway

Shaman King extremely flawed but full of good things

I still can’t believe it’s back

Johannes out

#long post #shaman king #spoilers #mild gore in written form at some point

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