#i hope everyone appreciates my service to find new lines bc

[galedekarios]

I didn't know you felt so strongly, Gale.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. hello! i am searching for a fic where su she pretends to be lwj to trick wwx? i believe he traps lwj in a closet at one point. please help!

FOUND? seeds by antebunny (G, 3k, WangXian, SS & LWJ, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Identity Porn, Dramatic Irony, identity theft, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, the Inherent Romance of Being Known, BAMF WWX, protective boyfriend!wwx, simp!lwj)

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2. Hi, this is about the last anon ask y'all shared. The one about the missing fic 2 no 31. I think i was searching for the same fic. I remember a one shot where LXC and LWJ were going for food or coffee and they saw XXC and WWX on the sidewalk, and LWJ was jealous of how much WWX was touching XXC as they walked until he realized WWX was guiding him bc he was blind.

If it isn't the same, I would appreciate y'all helping me find it. Thanks for your wonderful work for the fandom!

FOUND? A sip of vinegar by Aki_no_hikari (G, 1k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pining, One-Sided Attraction, or so lwj thinks)

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3. Hey, I’m looking for a post-canon fic where there’s an assassination attempt on WWX with poison and LWJ is super protective and has to find the culprit. Thanks so much!

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4. Hi! Love the blog so much!!! Do you remember the name of the fic (from LWJ POV) where LWJ is in the airport on a dating app and swipes away from WWX who is (coincidentally) sat next to him and remarks on it? TIA xxx

FOUND? Ticket to Ride by mistresscurvy (E, 18k, wangxian, modern, online dating, road trips, service top, phone sex, dick pics, wedding banquet)

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5. Hey, I hope you guys are doing well. Please help me find this fic ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

So I just remember a tiny part of it :

WWX is accused of giving away war intel to the Wen by YZY in front of everyone. She pulls out some letters i think? Then to help the former, NHS brings in a handwriting specialist and it turns out to be YZY who wrote the letters. @utxqia

FOUND? Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing)

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6. Hi, I hope you can help me find a fic! It's an abo one I think, where teen wwx is pregnant. The story is LQR pov where he overhears WWX tell LWJ and is really supportive! I think WWX was kicked out my Madam Yu, but I'm not sure?

FOUND? In which Lan Qiren eavesdrops and gets a new nephew (and grandnephew) out of it by h0peless_oblivion (M, 64k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy, Shotgun Wedding, Good Uncle LQR, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, Fluff and Angst, Family Feels, Unspecified Setting, Probably ooc, WWX Has ADHD, A-Yuan is Wangxian's son, Pregnant WWX, Humor, non-graphic birth, Family Drama, The Lans love wwx, Male Lactation, Mild Smut in later chapters, wangxian's canonical breeding kink, Tooth-Rotting Fluff)

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7. hello, i hope you're well. i love your blog and i read it often and now I have an ask to make ;) Do you happen to know a fic where WWX and LWY "pretend to visit a women in sleep and make them pregnant" in order to explain unwanted pregnancies and save a women's honor?

It is a crack fic but it has a lot of heart.

I read it maybe a couple of months ago, but i cannot find it anymore. I hope it's not deleted.

💕 谢谢，再见 @amrame​

FOUND! Taking Responsibility by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 6k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Getting Together, Trope Subversion/Inversion, Pretend mpreg, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Fluff and Crack)

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8. I want to know ff name in which wei Ying is a female and he is going to live with male lan wangi, as he is her sister friend. In ff there is a line like " i am a man Wei Ying ". @yizhan12

FOUND? tell me what’s your motive by sweetlolixo (E, 7k, wangxian, modern, fem WWX, smut, size difference, older LWJ)

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9. hiii~! hope u all are having wonderful days! I'm looking for a fic that i think is cql centric? Anyways it's one where wwx and lwj start cultivating together? Like there are multiple scenes that suggest that they try to combine using cultivation. If that's too vague as a description there's this one scene where lan wangji finds his mother's letters and how she kills herself (?) and goes missing in the nighttime?

Sorry for the vagueness... it's been so long since i read it! 😅

FOUND! ❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, AU after cold spring, Political Marriage, Dysfunctional Family, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, LQR bashing (not really), POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Eventual Happy Ending, BAMF WWX, JC is actually a lot better than canon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, YZY bashing (again not completely) )

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10. Hello hello! I really want to read this fic again and I’ve given up on searching for it. It’s post-cql and a very fluffy fic. Wwx and Lwj share hazelnut cakes. They roam in Caiyi and meet a vendor lady selling combs and she tries to matchmake Wwx and her daughter. She tells them that they should buy combs for their beloved and I'm pretty sure Lwj was considering buying a comb. Please help! This has been bugging me quite a lot. Thank you and have a great day!

FOUND? I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (M, 28k, wangxian, post-canon, getting together, love letters, hurt/comfort, cuddling & snuggling, literal sleeping together, intimacy, first time)

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11. Hello mods, looking for this awesome AU I was reading where Wen Xu takes LWJ as his warprize at CR and makes him go through some horrible things. WWX tries to help him at the Wen lectures and LWJ refuses but they kind of get together after fighting the Tortoise. but then Wen Chao attacks the Jiangs and captures WWX. LWJ is NOT a courtesan and WWX isn't either, and the Wens don't have a whole harem or anything.

tysm for your help, been looking all over and I rly want to finish reading!!!

NOT FOUND! tarnish, lustre, gold by iliacquer (E, 22k, wangxian, LWJ/WX, graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con, ABO, mpreg, forced marriage, forced/coerced pregnancy, infidelity, alpha WWX, omega LWJ, alpha WX, bottom LWJ, reproductive coercion, mating cycles/in heat, knotting, YLLZ WWX, domestic violence, whump, misgendering, happy ending)

FOUND! 忍辱负重 | to bear the burden of humiliation by dragongirlG (E, 106k, wangxian, LWJ/WX, WWX/other(s), WWX/WC, graphic depictions of violence, rape/non-con, sexual slavery, domestic violence, wen indoctrination, xuanwu cave, prisoner of war, warprize, humiliation, non-con bondage, non-con body modification, golden core destruction/melting, dual cultivation, revenge, whump, hurt little comfort, protective LWJ & WWX, hopeful ending)

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12. Hello, I'm looking for two specific fanfics.

A) The first one is about WangXian having an arranged marriage and Wei Ying in the beginning tries to get along with Lan Zhan but then when he notices that he's not very responsive he ends up being kind of like cold to him but in the end they do realize that they love each other also Wei Ying is mostly a stay at home husband and there are no original characters in this one. I'm pretty sure it has multiple chapters but I may be wrong.

B) The second one is a case fic one where WangXian go to this town where apparently the Yiling laozu is terrorizing but it turns out to be Jin Zixuns son who he himself has possessed and they solve it. The juniors were in there I think at least I remember Jin Ling was. Thank you so much in advance! @amaraxoxo98​

12A)

FOUND? A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, WangXian, Sex is complicated, Angst, Pining while fucking, Mature elements., Mutual Pining, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions)

12B)

FOUND? Don't Turn Your Heart by sami (T, 29k, wangxian, WQ/JC/LXC, JYL/JZX, XY/MXY, hurt/comfort, family, shenanigans, some violence)

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13. For your next fic finder... I've suddenly remembered this elusive fic. I'm pretty sure it was a canon era BDSM AU (in that people have inherent dom/sub dynamics), and WWX was a sub that had been raised/socialized as a dom by the Jiang sect. The fic was set during the CR study arc, and IIRC something happened in the library that caused WWX to drop hard, revealing the truth to everybody. It's not The Hilt Lies Well In Hand by HeavenlySkyfarer, or A Gesture of Companionship by Khashana. Help?

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14. Helloo I would like to request to find this fic in which I remember there was wei wuxian who had owned a diner? And it was like open until the wee hours of morning. I think he also had some eating problems? And sleeping problems? I also remember that he had cut contact with everyone except wen qing and wen ning who he had met after he moved away... I'm pretty sure lan zhan finds him first but the memory is a bit hazy since I haven't read it in a long time and I can't find it anymore 😭.

FOUND? ❤️ 不晚 | a lovely light by seagaze (T, 62k, wangxian, modern, midnight diner au, CW for eating and sleeping disorders, happy ending)

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15. Hi I was wondering if you could please help me find a fic? Basically the story starts off as this shadow always hunting wy so the whole Jiang dynamics changes as their protective of wy, later on come to find out that shadow following wy is his future self trying to kill him so he doesn’t “ruin the jiangs” or something along those lines, hoping u can help me as I’ve been trying so long to find this fic again 😭

FOUND? Beyond the Darkness by ULTIOcean (T, 73k, WangXian, WWX-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Oblivious WWX, A sprinkle of horror here and there, injuries, Blood, Canon Divergence, Different Beginnings, OOC for some characters, Mainly WWX JC and JZX, Follows the Donghua's events, Mystery, Copious amounts of affection, jc's dogs, Time Skips, WWX POV)

FOUND? Building a home by R95irth (T, 586k, CSSR/WCZ, JFM/YZY, wangxian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, 3zun, BSSR/LY, MS/Sisi, canon divergence, time travel fix-it, everyone lives au, angst w happy ending, horror, nightmares, family fluff, found family, babies)

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16. Hi, for the next fic finder I need help finding 2 fics that I read on AO3. A) During the first siege Wei Ying uses the Soul Summoning Ritual to bring back Jiang Yanli's soul in his body and the Yanli runs to Jiang Cheng and says something like "A-Cheng it's me.". B) During the Wen Settlement days one morning Wen Qing walks into Wei Ying’s cave and finds him dead on his bed. I think he died due to an illness and Wen Qing wasn't suprised to find him dead. Thank you for your help. @bluekittenfire

16A)

FOUND! A Final Sacrifice by FrozenHawFlakes (T, <1k, major character death, Angst, Protective Siblings, Family Feels, family love, everything is worse off for everyone, except maybe JL, but he has another set of problems, What-If, Canon Divergence)

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17. Hi, could you possibly help me find a Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian fanfiction? I had read it, but now that I am trying to look for it, I can't find it anymore. It was in a modern setting. Wangxian were already married but had many misunderstandings. Wuxian believed that Lan Wangji was in love with someone else named 'William Williamson'. Other characters that appeared were Lan Xichen, Lan Qiren, Nie Huaisang, Jiang Cheng. Lan Xichen had a whole thing going on with his relation issues too. Thank you.

FOUND? A Marriage Story by DeviyudeThoolika (E, 38k, WangXian, Sex is complicated, Angst, Pining while fucking, Mature elements., Mutual Pining, Arranged Marriage, Sort Of, Misunderstandings, of epic proportions)

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18. I can't find a fic where Wei Ying died at canon and woke up from coma in modern world where everyone is alive and good. And they think Wei Ying is dreaming. Wei Ying is also confused. Everyone is good even madam yu and fengmin. And he's also lan zhans husband there. Thank u

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19. Hello! I'm trying to find a fic that I read a little while ago. wwx is a dm and is writing a chinese inspired homebrew campaign and lwj is a publisher. wwx has a fox spirit npc and adds a dragonji character when he starts to fall in love with lwj. The story ends with lwj helping wwx to publish his system. Thanks! @worlds-of-else​

FOUND? 🧡 Where’s Your Emergency? by trippednfell (M, 64k, WangXian, 911 Dispatcher WWX, Single dad LWJ, Kid fic, Modern AU, D&D Games, Angst with a happy ending)

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20. hii!!!! im looking for a fic in which wwx is badly hurt, and the lan doctor tells him that the only way he can survive is through dual cultivation. lwj immediately goes to do the deed because he can't stand wwx in pain. they get together in the end! but it has a little of angst! their first time is a little sad because wwx is very hurt but they love each other a lot and get quicly together! thank you

FOUND? as amber of ember glows by occultings (microcomets) (E, 11k, WangXian, Sex Pollen, Marathon Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Pining, First Time, Miscommunication, Aphrodisiacs, pining for the person you're fucking, Getting Together, mostly) sounds like one of occulting's fics, maybe 'as amber of ember glows' but there are several along this line so I can't be certain?

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[iliveiloveiwrite]

Millie’s Massive Fic Rec Post

To celebrate 700 followers I’m showing all the love, people. What you’ll find here are fics that were sent to me who I agree deserve a bit more love as well as fics I’ve read and adored. They’re split into characters so all you need to do is scroll to find your fave and bask in its glory. There is some swearing but it’s only because it’s the only way I know how to express my feelings. This is also my thank you to each of the authors involved for taking the time out of their day to write these fics for free. There are also some authors I know I’ve forgotten and I am so so sorry if I have, I promise you it wasn't intentional, I love you all very much.

As always, I love and appreciate you all. Let’s get started on this ridiculously long post!!

Harry Potter:

Don’t Walk Away - @kalimagik - THE ANGST. I was on the edge of my seat through it all; I knew what was coming but did I look away? No. I was completely sucked it and that ending... oh my god, I was broken. If you’re looking for an incredibly written piece of angst that has you in tears, then this is the fic.

Dandelions - @lupins-sweater - The first post of A Very Harry Potter Summer and it was kicked off so brilliantly!! This fic had me wishing for my very own Harry to take morning walks with. It’s so wonderful; it has you wanting a summery morning and dandelions to make wishes on.

Always You - @bl597 - inspired by Louis Tomlinson’s song Always You, so I was already sold on that front. It’s an angst piece - Harry pining from afar, regretting his decisions but with a happy ending. I love that it's written from his perspective, that he realises what he’s done. I really do love this fic, and I aim to work my way through her masterlist!

The Truth Behind The Kiss - @justauthoring​ - the anticipation from the first sentence, I was on the edge of my seat. I loved every single word of this fic, it’s written so well. I just, I need you all to read this fic bc it is SO GOOD. Harry, Triwizard tournament, feelings, fluff - it has it all. 

For how long? - @siriusly-addicted-to-writing​ - It seems for Harry fics I am drawn to angst even though I write nothing but fluff for him. This fic is no different. Dani, this fic is wonderful, I love it. You capture the angst brilliantly! Go read this everyone!

Ron Weasley:

“can we pretend I never said that?” - @hello-everyfandom - I love this so much! Ron calling himself ‘the snog master’ had me snorting out loud - it’s great. And then the dialogue continues to be brilliant. I really enjoyed this fic! Ron needs more attention people!!  

Crossing Lines - @kalimagik - ADORABLE. CUTE. WONDERFUL. Oh, Ron. Everything about this fic is marvellous. The relationship between Ron and the reader, the realisation, the meddling. It was perfect, so so perfect.

birthday - @lupinsdarling - FLUFFY AND CHAOTIC AND I LOVE IT. Why oh why doesn't Ron get more love? Why doesn't this fic have more attention? It’s so fluffy and Ron is so bloody cute that my heart physically hurt while reading this. It hurt because it was so PURE.

Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley:

Girls in one room - @eleven-times-lively - Hermione x Reader - oh my god I snorted at Ron, I love it. And the fluff? There’s so much fluff, I can't deal with the fluff. If you’re going to read a Hermione fic, read this one!

just as lovely - @vanillann - this is so pure! it’s so wonderful, and the relationship between Hermione and the reader is so cute! 

Hug ur friends drabble - @firewhisky-kisses - Ginny x Reader - it’s the cutest thing I’ve read, oh my god, is it cute! I love everything about this, Steph is so talented! But I go into that further down.

Neville Longbottom:

Never the Bride - @obsessedwithrandomthings - Dee’s fic reads as a rom com, it’s so brilliantly done. By the time you're at the end, you feel as if you’ve just watched a two hour rom com and need to squeal into your pillow because of the feels. I love this fic.

Moonlight Swim - @kalimagik - Neville. Oh, Neville. This fic stole my heart and it won't give me it back. The idea of a moonlight swim with Neville? Here for it. And the confession? *chefs kiss* incredible. 

Healing - @firewhisky-kisses - I cannot put into words how much I loved this fic,. Steph is just so incredibly talented and writes Neville so wonderfully. Healing is the first fic of two and that second part had me in happy tears because Neville deserves the world. I go back and reread this a lot when I need to boost my emotions, so thank you for this Steph.

Good News - @peachesandpinks - Let me explain something here, Ron repeatedly and without fail hypes up fic writers to the point where she makes me cry happy tears at her comments. Her writing (and I'm going to swear now) is fucking brilliant. I love it, I adore it. Ren has a way with words that I only hope to master. This fic? Marvellous, magnificent, wonderful - pick a synonym and go wild. It’s so sweet and wholesome - what more could you possibly want other than to be on her taglist?

Tally Marks - @obsessedwithrandomthings NEVILLE WITH TATTOOS PEOPLE! NEVILLE! WITH! TATTOOS! Do I need to say anymore? Yes? Okay. Dee is a fantastic writer but she writes Neville perfectly. We have had many conversations about her love for Neville and her love for him shines through in this fic. She writes with such care and I love reading everything.

Draco Malfoy: 

The Purist - @mxl-foy - This series is so good. Like, so good, that if it was a physical book, it would be sat on my shelves. I would religiously check her account every time I came onto Tumblr to see if a new chapter was posted, and if there was, you best believe there was a happy dance. It’s so incredibly thought out and plotted. And there’s going to be a part two! It’s so great!

Notes - @malfoys-demigod - This is so sweet! I live for fluffy Draco as you all know if you read my Draco fics, but I adore reading fluffy Draco as well. This fic is so adorable, I love it! 

Always so Cold - @teheharrypotter - Five times Draco gave you his sweater and the one time you accepted. I love these sort of fics, they’re my indulgence fics. Jealous!Draco is one of my favourite things to read as well. and he’s so dramatic. I couldn't ask for more in a fic, definitely one of my favourites. 

the distance between us - @sdicapriox - This is a genius idea. I love this idea, and I love how it was executed. Almost 10k words of brilliance. I love the reader and her first letter to Draco and her entire personality - fish funeral? genius. I really like how you portray Draco and the effort you put into his internal monologue, it really is something excellent. The ending as well, I won't spoil, I just urge people to read this. 

Heartbreak - @slytherinprincess03 - you have to have a little bit of angst in a Draco fic rec right? This fic has it but the ending is perfect and fluffy, gah! I love it!. Not to mention, Draco is such a gentlemen in it. I can't wait to see what else you write, lovely!!

Hardly A Date - @fanficflaneuse - I love this fic. I love it so much. I tend not to read sibling!reader but I adored this. The relationship between Harry and the reader, and then Draco and the reader. It’s amazing. I could rant for hours and hours about how much I love her work - her series are out of this world and she captures Draco’s character perfectly. 

George Weasley:

Red with Rage - @kalimagik - AGH ANOTHER OF MAGGIE’S FICS. The prank? Genius, and that end line - incredible. Her characterisation of the twins is so good, I love reading her fics. She deserves more than 300 followers! So if you don’t already follow her, go now!

When Everything Changes - @strawberriesonsummer - Based on the song Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran. This is so pure, it’s so fluffy. George is adorable in this! I can't wait to read what else you write for George!

Come back to you - @dreamer821 - JJ, JJ, JJ. Ugh, this fic is a work of art and George is so bloody caring. I mention this a lot but the relationship between George and the reader is so important to get right and JJ does it flawlessly. My heart hurts for this fic and that last line, LOVE IT. I live for how JJ writes George, I could read her work all day. GO READ HER STUFF, YOU WON’T REGRET IT.

Fred Weasley:

The Right Bird - @dreamer821 - I’m not only just involving this because it was used in my writing challenge but oh my days, it is so wonderful. The relationship between Fred and the reader is just *chefs kiss* perfect. JJ has such a way with words and I just love how she depicts Fred.

Lost, are we? - @prongsies - I think I’m going to make my way through your masterlist because I loved this so much. The teasing was so cute, and Fred helping her at the beginning? Ahhhhh brilliant. 

Watermelon Sugar - @prongsies - COMPLETING THE FINEST SERVICE TO THE HP FANDOM AND WRITING FICS INSPIRED BY FINE LINE - I SALUTE YOU. This is so good, so so good. The references to the song are used so well and that little bit of fluff at the end? Amazing. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to put the song on repeat now...

Percy Weasley: 

Nothing We Can’t Forgive -  @firewhisky-kisses - This series really does showcase Steph’s talent. She’s an incredible writer and this fic deserves all the attention it can possibly get. It’s the first Percy fic I’ve ever read and I’m already planning a reread. Steph captures Percy’s character flawlessly whilst also depicting his healing in a manner that is so relatable. I’ve linked the masterlist because once you start reading, you won't want to stop. 

Sight is Relative - @hufflefluff-writer - This fic has a blind reader which I think makes it all the more beautiful. Amelia’s characterisation of Percy really is wonder, she captures him brilliantly. The fic after they eat is quite literally breathtaking. The description of colours, the dialogue - it’s fantastic.

Hufflepuff!Reader Headcanons - @soft-nerdy-wolf - I loved this from the beginning where the reader was already helping Percy out of his comfort zone by disregarding curfew. Then the further, I read, I loved more and more because of how fluffy it is! And the confession? So so sweet! This needs more attention!

Bill Weasley: 

Estrellita - @fanficflaneuse and @hufflefluff-writer - It is a fic inspired by the Sound of Music, what more could you possibly want? It’s so delicate and incredibly written by two extremely talented writers. The relationship between Bill and the reader = adorable. The whole series is so fantastic, I’ve linked part one and you’ll find the rest on Amelia’s masterlist, which you’ll need because you’ll be reading the entire thing in one sitting, I swear.

Charlie Weasley:

As Family the First Time - @kalimagik - you’ll have noticed that Maggie features a lot here but that’s because she is so damned talented that I adore most of her fics. The first Charlie Weasley fic I read and I fell in love. It’s just so fluffy and humorous with features from the whole Weasley family. Basically, by the end of it I was ready to raise dragons in Romania with a certain Weasley.

Meeting the Weasleys - @soft-nerdy-wolf - This made smile all sorts of stupid. From the beginning, I wanted to own Hepaestus (the perfect name for a dragon in my opinion - Zeus’ own forger, amazing.) And the fluff with Charlie straight after? I love, love, love it as well as the fun relationship they have. And the pranks with Fred and George? Ah! I just love.

Dragons blurb - @hufflefluff-writer - I know it’s only a blurb but oh my god, I loved it, I love it. Jealous!Charlie and a buttload of fluff - the best to boost your mood.

Cedric Diggory:

A Ghost Story - @wondernimbus - So beautifully haunting. Ysa has a way with words that make you feel as if you're physically there, living the fic alongside the characters. There aren't really any words to describe how talented Ysa is - all I can do is urge to read her masterlist and discover for yourself. 

My Boys - @potterverseimagine - Cedric and dogs - I am in love. This fic is so sweet and pure and playful. Playful Cedric is so great omg and this fic is full to the brim with it. I just... ah I love this so much. AND HE’S ALIVE. I LOVE FICS WHERE HE’S ALIVE. Thank you for this!!

It’s a Date - @angelinathebook​ - Lena, this is so good. You need to write more Cedric! Ah, I hate those boys so much but I love Cedric!! This is so good! Cedric needs more love 100% - if you haven't read this already, you need to read it now!!

Sirius Black: 

Lost Time - @obsessedwithrandomthings - Reader standing up for who she loves against Bellatrix? Yes, we love that. Slow burn romance with Sirius? I love that even more. Dee never fails to astound me when she writes Sirius, and I know she won’t fail to astound you too. Seriously (lol), go through Dee’s masterlist, read her works, you won't regret it. She’s the loveliest.

Our Godson - @nebulablakemurphy - Christina is so talented. The letters!!! Are so good!!! AND WHEN THEY FINALLY MEET? My heart! Christina, it's as if you broke it and then rebuilt it again all in the span of 2.8k words especially with that ending. I love this fic, and you will love this fic. 

Curiosity - @siriusly-the-best-gryffindor​ - I don’t know what else to say that I haven't already said in my reblog but I love this fic. I am heavily pierced and heavily tattooed and I love seeing a reader as the same. I love all of this fic, it 100% needs more love!

The Jimmy Jab Games - @im-a-writer-right​ - A Sirius fic inspired by Brooklyn-99. I loved every single chapter, it made me so happy. And that final chapter, I was smiling like a fool throughout. Sirius is a dream through this, and that bet? I love! I’ve linked the masterlist because you won’t want to move as you read.  

Secrets and fears - @firewhisky-kisses​ - Steph does it again with the masterpieces. Honestly, I squeal a little whenever I see her in my notifications with a new fic because everything she writes is stellar, and this is no exception. If you’re going to read anything tonight, let it be her masterlist. If you haven't read her latest Sirius piece as well, you are sorely missing out. 

Remus Lupin:

Protect - @obsessedwithrandomthings - Oh man, this one hurt. There are so many feels to this fic, so many layers. The enemies to lovers? Amazing. That ending as well - so fucking good. Like everything Dee writes, so fucking good.

Sleeping Beauty - @poppin-potter - This is adorable. There’s no other words for it. The relationship between the reader and Remus is so cute, I was smiling all the way through it. Not to mention the relationship between the reader and the Marauders, so bloody good. And that ending? It was so peaceful, like I was reading and I was like yeah, I would’t mind a piece of that.

Pain of reality - @heloisedaphnebrightmore - I had to involve some Remus angst, and oh my word. You smashed my heart into pieces in the beginning and had put it back together by the end. Heloise is an incredible writer, so so talented. This is a Remus fic you cannot miss out on!

Bruise and Scars - @peachesandpinks - Soulmate AU and Marauders Era Remus. What more could you possibly want? It’s poetic. If you look to my Neville section, you’ll see why I love Ren’s writing so much but let me tell you, I am a SUCKER for Remus. Always have been, always will be. You will not regret reading this fic or any of Ren’s fics.

Nights like These - @teheharrypotter - another fic in A Very Harry Potter Summer and the description in this fic is so good! The way the summer night described has you feeling every moment of it. And the conversation between Remus and the reader is so beautiful, where they touch upon their grief. It’s a wonderfully written piece of work.

James Potter:

Numb Love - @heloisedaphnebrightmore - Unrequited love is like my guilty pleasure because I love the angst of it, and this fic. Oh this fic, it destroyed me and I loved every single minute of it. How this fic doesn't have more notes, I have no clue. It’s a masterpiece of emotions. 

Reading between the lines - @approved-by-dentists - ohhh this fic is great, I love the flirtation between the reader and James in the beginning all the way to end. It was one of the first James fics I read (I’m late to the party, I’m well aware) and omg I love it. Just go read the fic!

Book-thief - @wondernimbus - I’m going to repeat my words from earlier, there are no words to describe Ysa’s talent. James Potter and a bookshop and I was sold. She captures his character so brilliantly. Just... go binge her work.

Summer revelations - @pregnant-piggy - I keep saying this about all the fics I put on here but I love this fic! I love it! First, I love James. Second, I need those muffins - seriously, where can I get these muffins? And their realisations and confessions! It’s such a pure fic, I’m absolutely in love with your portrayal of James.

Newt Scamander:

Cheeky Niffler - @eleven-times-lively - reader is an archaeologist - from that moment, I was sold. I loved reading this, I loved the idea and I love Niffler as it is! I always need more Newt in my life and this is perfect.

Online Love - @strawberriesonsummer​ - Modern AU! I really loved this idea, I love the idea of Newt with a phone and ringing the wrong number. It’s such a wonderful fic, I haven't read Newt in so long so this was such a lovely one to read! I can’t wait to read what other Newt fics are posted!

desire - @blisfvll​ - I am a huge fan of their works; their Draco fics are incredible and their Newt fics are just the same. This had me feeling all sorts of emotions, and I loved every second of it.  

You stared Newt right in the eyes. - @fantasticnewtimagines​ - I didn't know what the title to this was so I just type out the first sentence, I hope you don't mind! This is a delicious piece of angst with a lovely, happy ending. I adore this piece so much because it conveys so much. I love it!!

MARVEL:

I want to take a moment to appeal to the followers of mine who also enjoy reading marvel. @shaynawrites23​ has started to write some marvel fics and even entered my writing challenge and her fics definitely deserve some attention! She’s a wonderful writer and her fics are so cute! If you’re a fan of Bucky, you’ll love these fics!

Catty

Soulmate

Rosy Proposal

[save-the-spiral]

PLS PLS LIST THE SWAPS!! TELL ME ABOUT THE SIBLINGS AND ALSO HIFUMI BECAUSE I LOVE HIM (IF YOU WANT!) I will also send more questions in the morning too, excited to see what you’ve been working on!!

OK OK OK !!!!! AHH! So, before assigning talents, I swapped the pools, so for the first game, I use the talents from the second game, and vis versa! For some i listed gender, sexuality, or neurodivergencies, though this isn’t all of them, and I haven’t developed them all to the same level!

This is SO long. I didn’t even bother mentioning things like my plans for the killing games. (I have DR1 planned out in full, but only parts of DR2 and the v3 anime)

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SAW I HAD NEW ASK NOTIFS!!

LIST:

Trigger Happy Havoc (first game)

Kyoko Kirigiri- Ultimate Luckster- Mastermind (: Sometimes lesbians can be evil okay! was trained as a detective like everyone in her family and didn’t get the ultimate :) she’s definitely not mad about that :) her luck cycle depends on how far she plans things ahead. her good luck is when she’s spontaneous! She hates when ‘normal’ people are accepted by ultimates.

Makoto Naegi- Photographer (Mostly wildlife and nature photography, with Sayaka helping him for some animal photography (: trans and bi <3 One of sayaka’s birds nests in his hair like all the time)

Kiyotaka Ishimaru- Ultimate Swordsman (AUTISTIC ICON, has trained in kendo since he was a kid, then was essentially given away to the Fujisaki clan by his very stressed dad. Semiverbal, rarely speaks.)

Chihiro Fujisaki- Ultimate Yakuza (Taka is her bodyguard! His family is in debt to hers, the Fujisaki clan is the most powerful in Japan. trans icon, of course, dates Sayaka! Very direct, though she’s far more delicate and polite when talking to taka, her best friend)

Sakura Oogami- Ultimate Nurse (Works as an EMT- her clan still is in martial arts, so she’s still very buff, she assists in injuries at the family dojo. Autistic Icon)

Asahina Aoi- Ultimate Gamer (ULTIMATE ADHD. streams and has a ton of fun, will ramble while breaking records, demigirl who loves her girlfriend sakura :)

Mukuro Ikusaba- Ultimate Chef (Works best with ‘cheap’ food, and making them taste good. a byproduct of growing up on the streets with junko, and junko being bored of the same old food they dug out of the trash. now works closely with junko for her teams’ nutritional needs! autistic and sapphic.)

Junko Enoshima- Ultimate Team Manager (there are SO many sports she can never get bored, and the professional scene is always changing! prefers coaching womens’ teams, because being an ultimate brings them more publicity and usually higher pay :)

Mondo Oowada- Ultimate Prince (OH MY BOY. trans adhd icon. now the crown prince of Novoselic, with a reagent in his place until he comes of age. His service dog Chuck is a maltese and an absolute sweetheart. Chihiro takes him under her wing to teach leadership. also dates taka later OF COURSE, though they’re poly and I may add more ppl to their relationship later.)

Celestia Ludenburg- Ultimate Musician (specializes in violin, most strings, though she can play any instrument. grew up poor, dedicated herself to an instrument and persona to cope)

Byakuya Togami- Ultimate Musician (Yep. two musicians. two catty trans gay icons about to throw down. they HATE each other and grew up as rivals. specialize in classical, they literally tore a professional orchestra full of grown adults apart trying to make them side with who was the best musician. they’re so good that they’re matched, and Hope’s Peak accepts them as one student and combined ultimate. they room together. they fight. Literally if one of them gets expelled, the other does too, so they’re STUCK. eventually they become literally inseparable and insufferable together like the WORST siblings. I love them.)

Sayaka Maizono- Breeder (animal handler) (Specializes in birds!!!!!! has songbirds on her shoulders all the time. will give unsettling animal facts without realizing they’re unsettling. sends her songbirds to serenade chihiro when they start dating <3)

Yasuhiro Hagakure- Gymnast (you see this tall goof who acts like an older brother to everyone and wonder HOW he’s a gymnast. he’s completely different in competitions, though still lighthearted. becomes a big brother figure to mukuro and junko especially <3 also trans bc i say so.)

Leon Kuwata- Traditional Dancer (he just. kinda hates it. it takes SO much work and effort but he takes to it naturally. his cousin kanon is NOT like in canon, instead she’s helpful. he’d literally rather be doing anything else. doesn’t know how to do anything like... basic either. can’t cook. cant do his own laundry. everything was dedicated to traditional japanese dancing before he attended HPA.)

Toko Fukawa- Engineer (writes schematics and is very good at it. gets VERY upset when her plans go wrong. her notes are orderly and perfect. host for their system!)

Syo- Mechanic (a factive of genocider syo, NOT an actual killer. she’s a protector mainly, and also is more adept at hands on skills when it comes to fixing things, her hands are less shaky. Her notes are a disaster and she does it to spite Toko.)

Hifumi Yamada- (???) (reserve course) Protagonist! My BOY. HIFUMI IS GOOD OKAY. He’s autistic and loves anime and gaming! he’s not particularly ultimate-leveled at them, or anything else! Attending Hope’s Peak as a reserve course student! At one point he joins the student council as a reserve course representative even if he’s only a freshman :) He’s also a moderator in Hina’s livestream chat, under the username of JusticeHammer, fastest ban hammer this side of the internet. He's internet friends with hina and sakura, and doesn’t realize Oh We Go To the same SCHOOL until he bumps into them. and realizes hina doesnt know what he looks like. but sakura does. its hilarious. he’s aroace, and during the year they’re locked in HPA, is in a queer platonic partnership with Hina and Sakura, while they’re dating each other. it’s great.)

Goodbye Despair! (second game)

Peko Pekoyama- Lucky student (ohohoh. her luck relies on her conviction. if she has doubts her bad luck strikes HARD. trans!, was taken in by Fuyuhiko’s family when she was a baby, grew up as just another kid in the family. They all expected Fuyu to go off to HPA on his own and then BOOM acceptance letter)

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu- Programmer (He. gets so angry while coding. He has an array of rubber ducks to talk to and work through his coding issues with. trans of course. Very protective of Peko when people say she doesn’t have a ‘real’ ultimate. ADHD and Autistic)

Sonia Nevermind- Writer (Literary Girl) (Her family immigrated to Japan when she was young! She writes a lot of serial killer novels, murder mysteries and horror and all that! Trans and bi :)

Gundham Tanaka- Detective (YEAH my guy is a detective. still talks Like That. Trans and bi and he and Sonia were kinda-dating (t4t autistic power couple in the making) when things started happening. He spends some time with his cool older sister who he looks up to a LOT. He and Sonia talk through things together a lot, they both have those red string walls, one for murder cases, another for a fictional plot lmao.)

Mahiru Koizumi- Moral Compass (my GIRL. autistic. Her morals rely a lot on people taking responsibility and being reliable, and she ends up having to work through some biases she didn’t realize she had when she arrived at HPA. Is still protective of Hiyoko, though that protectiveness is spread a bit thinner to extend to the rest of the class.)

Hiyoko Saionji- Clairvoyant!!! (HI YES I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR DAYS. Has actual visions in dreams and when she suddenly faints, but doesn’t really realize they’re uhh Real Visions for a WHILE. uses her status as an ultimate clairvoyant to trick and bully kids when in school for a LONG time, though her homelife wasn’t great with her grandmother trying to find ways to make her visions more consistent. SHES ALSO 12 WHEN SHE JOINS THE 77TH CLASS. she’s just so advanced in academics and her ultimate is so interesting hope’s peak cant HELP but scout her early. she has SO many issues guys no one appreciates hiyoko enough, autistic gifted kid hiyoko my beloved.)

Akane Owari- Gambler (started gambling to help out her family and Got Good at it. is very very conscious of money and food like all the time. Runs the hope’s peak betting pools once she arrives. these ultimates bet on a lot of things. she ALWAYS wins. until she doesnt!!!)

Mikan Tsumiki- Martial Artist (ohhhh Mikan. Still anxious and clumsy (though not like THAT in canon) and literally no one looks at her and thinks Oh The ULTIMATE martial artist?? it isn’t until you see her in the ring that you understand. She started learning self defense as a kid because her (bad) parents essentially said she had to rely on and protect herself and no one else would help.)

Kazuichi Souda- Pop Idol (OH TRANS ICON? he’s nervous and paranoid about Everything still, though now it’s like. oh the entire world is always watching my every move this is Okay (: has the brightest neon album eras. he literally keeps up a like. weird chad persona when interacting with people because he’s masking how hard he’s constantly just internally screaming.)

Nagito Komaeda- Soldier (AHAHAH my mans got issues problems disorder he’s a messssss, this trans guy, this absolute gay. this boy leveled a city of thousands of people with his own hands and some bombs. Still has medical issues, but most of his like. treatments and medicine is hold hostage as long as he stays in line. believes the ends justify the means and anyone who dies to him is obviously weak, because look at him! he’s weak, but that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t have to be the strongest, he just has to be stronger than the weakest scum.)

Chiaki Nanami- Heir (OOF. Agender, uses any pronouns. Doesn’t really. enjoy being the heir. grew up with Byakuya in the same circles. she treats the economy and stock market and stuff like games. enjoys gaming but isn’t good at them. collects so many things. has halls full of collections. Her parents stopped controlling her once she was able to prove she had more money than them and could literally bankrupt them if she wanted.)

Hajime Hinata- Baseball Star (Chiaki’s best friend, his family was upper middle class until he hit it BIG as a baseball star. wants to do BIG things and wants to attend hope’s peak more than anything!! Doesn’t really think of baseball as his THING, just a means to an end! trans :)

Teruteru Hanamura- Biker Gang Leader (started with shaking down some jerks who didn’t pay their food and drink tabs at his mama’s restaurant. now he RUNS their tiny town. His siblings are essentially gang mascots, he works hard to keep them out of trouble (while bringing them to like. meetings where he ends up beating a dude almost to death. its fine). most of what he does it to get more money to keep the restaurant afloat and care for his mama with her health conditions.)

Nekomaru Nidai- Fashionista (the drama. the CHAOS. most people are like ohhh we can never understand this artistic genius when he’s literally just. vibing and has ADHD and a love for coffee. Works a lot on accessible clothing lines for disabled people! Also he and Kazuichi work together sometimes, Nekomaru is good at calming Kaz down and seeing like, the root of whatever problem and making it better. ALSO A TRANS ICON and just flaunts it.)

Imposter- In the hope’s peak days they are impersonating Ryota Mitarai, as a part of the 77th class. In the Killing Game they impersonate Mondo Oowada as the Ultimate Prince. They’re doin’ their best.

Ibuki Mioda- (???) (Izuru Kamakura) Protagonist! Gundham Tanaka’s older sister (though they’re in the same school year). Nonbinary and using just. an array of pronouns alongside she/her, and jokingly fights with gundham for neopronouns like MOM said it’s MY TURN on the rawrself pronouns. She attends the reserve course to stay at her brother’s side. She dresses loudly and acts even louder because !!! she wants to stand out!! in the middle of this drab reserve course hell!!  but when things go down, she wants to be someone, to be worthy of being her amazing brother’s big sister. so she accepts some offers.

NON-KILLING GAME:

Ryota Mitarai- Ultimate Analyst (stays in his room. He’s terrified of the outside world but fascinated by it. watches hope’s peak academy through security feeds, picking up on little details. he just wants to understand things but never looks at the big picture.)

Chisa Yukizome- Ultimate Boxer (Homeroom teacher!! She’s working really hard and believes in everyone! Some are intimidated by talent, but she’s never hurt anyone outside of the ring! Dating Kyosuke)

Juzo Sakakura- Ultimate Student Council President (Has anger issues, though his work at reigning them in assisted in becoming an Ultimate. Was responsible for security and the Hope’s Peak student council. Dating Kyosuke)

Kyosuke Munakata- Ultimate Housekeeper (Meticulous, works himself to the BONE even if he’s good enough to not have to do that. Is working on establishing another Hope’s Peak! Dating Chisa and Jozu!!!)

Seiko Kimura- Ultimate Blacksmith (GIVE MY GIRL KNIVES!! She’s an anxious gal, always wearing a facemask that filters the air in her forge because she has some respiratory problems. she prefers making more decorative pieces like an artist, but sometimes can create utilitarian pieces or tools to fit specific needs. Still a doormat)

Ruruka Ando- Ultimate Pharmacist (She constantly asks Seiko for new tools for her developments in medicine, saying its all for the advancement of humanity, so Seiko denying any request is SELFISH, though she never thinks to make anything for seiko’s health issues. Dating Izayoi. Specializes in medicine for mental health. Not Doing Great :)

Sonosuke Izayoi- Ultimate Confectioner (He loves sweets. LOVES them. Creates things that look plain, ordinary. but taste so GOOD you CRY and maybe ascend for a little bit. sometimes Ando makes cool new drugs to put in the sweets, who knows! It’s a mystery! He always has like. a huge refrigerated case of fresh cakes, and constantly has a lollipop in his own specialty recipe in his mouth.)

[yukipri]

Hi! I really liked your Mermaid AU and cats, it made my day everytime you post a new part or their cuteness 😊 ❤. Though, I would like to know how the Baratie Arcs go in your Mermaid AU, especially Sanji's reaction on seeing Luffy as a mermaid and Ace's reaction on Sanji's... oh and how did Thatch and Sanji had their.... competition for Luffy's love? Thank you!

Thanks so much for enjoying my AU and my cat pics <3

Ok! So answering this one ahead of the cue, bc it’s easier for me to answer East Blue questions, and I have some thoughts!

So On the Baratie and Sanji meeting the ASL Pirates.

Here’s a mini story! Contains Sanji x Luffy.

~~

It's an ordinary day at the Baratie, with the usual shitty customers, the usual starving travelers, and the usual scarce but lovely ladies. Sanji doesn't expect today to be any different. But then, a miracle happens.

A mermaid walks in.

Sanji's sure his heart stops, and his brain almost does too. It's his dream to go to Fishman Island one day to frolic with the legendary beautiful mermaids that are said to live there, and it's a dream only second to finding All Blue. A slightly more tangible one too, since Fishman Island actually has a physical location on the world map, but Sanji digresses.

He'd never have imagined finding a mermaid in East Blue, and yet here one is, she's real and she's inside the Baratie.

Sanji doesn't really stop to consider how a mermaid can "walk."

Everything feels muted, and Sanji feels like he's floating on clouds as he makes his way towards the group at the door. He vaguely notes how many are in their party, but the others are a blur; he only has eyes for his angel, his aquatic goddess, his dream given physical form who has come to bless Sanji's mortal soul.

Up close, the mermaid's even lovelier. She has a petite, round face and the largest, warmest brown eyes he's ever seen, flecks of the subtlest golds and reds hidden deep within their depths like sunken treasure. Her hair's choppy and short but still looks indescribably soft, even when mostly hidden by a ratty straw hat. Her red vest's simple and has seen better days, but the goddess could be wearing rags and nothing would dim her loveliness. Ample, luscious, honestly ENORMOUS breasts look a second from bursting forth from their humble constraints, and Sanji wants to be there to catch them, can practically feel them overflowing from his palms already. Her skin's golden from the sun, and her arms could probably rip a man in two, and Sanji wants to be that man. The mermaid's certainly no court lady, but it must be because no court could ever be worthy of her.

And her tail.

It's the most eye-catching part about her, shimmering like it's made of the most precious multi-faceted jewels, and everyone in the restaurant has turned to gape. It's thickest at her hips and ripples with strength in a way that reminds Sanji not of any fish, but of sea kings, fearsome and untouchable. It tapers smoothly to a tip with translucent flukes more beautiful than any stained glass, more like lustrous fairy wings made of crystal flower petals, which wave lazily in the air as she moves, proving that yes, the tail is very real, and she is indeed a mermaid.

Sanji often gushes about love for the maidens who visit the Baratie, but he doesn't know if he's ever truly felt it it beyond the surface of his skin. If anyone had asked him if he believed in true love, he would have laughed off the question, but now, he can't.

Because this must be it, this must be "Love at First Sight," because how else can he possibly explain this impossible urge to grasp the mermaiden's hand and present her with his heart and everything he is, to pledge to follow her to the death and beyond, to--

"'Scuse us," a voice says from WAY TOO CLOSE. "Are there any open seats?"

Sanji blinks, and realizes that there's a wall in front of him.

A wall of muscle to be exact, that turns out to be a man, a man who's taller than Sanji, shirtless, and very, Very fit...and Sanji and said man are standing so close that the tips of their noses are brushing and Sanji can count the man's freckles. Sanji's gaze flicks up, and the man's eyes are right there, staring lazily down at him from point blank range.

...Well this is awkward.

Sanji's mermaid is casually wrapped around the man's shoulders, swishing her bejeweled tail and blinking at Sanji curiously. Her breasts are mashed into the back of the man's head, and the man doesn't seem to notice or care as he waits patiently for Sanji's answer.

As the fog of love clears from his head, Sanji mumbles an apology and takes a big step back to a more socially appropriate distance, and tears his eyes away from the mermaid to assesses the whole group. And although love is so powerful it can override intellect, Sanji's not stupid. 

By the look of it, they're pirates. There's a lovely lady in the back along with a weaker looking kid, but everyone else looks strong and experienced. And as enamored as he is by the concept of mermaids, Sanji can also very easily imagine the limited scenarios in which one might find a mermaid above deck, far away from Fishman island, and in the hands of pirates.

He might not see shackles on her, but physical bindings aren't always necessary for someone to be caged.

And if this was an ordinary day, and these were ordinary pirates here to make trouble, Sanji wouldn't hesitate to rescue the love of his life from these scum and move right along to celebrating their engagement.

But again, he's not stupid. And these are no East Blue pirates, because there's no way pirates of this caliber have been in the weakest sea for long. No, these are Grand Line pirates. And Sanji can tell that despite his relaxed, non-threatening demeanor, the man carrying the mermaid is dangerous. Sanji's gut screams warning that this man could destroy the Baratie and murder everyone in it without breaking a sweat, and Sanji would be helpless to stop him.

And it's not just him. There are others who are dangerous too, but Sanji's attention is drawn to the tall man who brings up the rear. Perhaps it's the pompadour, but it's most likely the chef outfit. He looks friendly enough, and isn't exuding power like the captain is, but there's definitely more than meets the eye, and Sanji has the weird feeling that he's seen the man before. Sanji doesn't actively keep track of pirates around the world, but the fact that even Sanji may have seen his bounty poster doesn't bode well.

Sanji knows he can't take them on in a direct confrontation. But he's also not going to let them leave without doing anything, if the mermaid's in the situation he thinks she's in.

So for now, he puts on his best customer service voice, smiles, and says, "Come right this way, we've got a VIP section."

~~

~~

Thanks so much for reading! I know this doesn’t answer every part of the ask, but I hope it’s still a fun read! If anyone’s interested, I can certainly write more on Thatch and Sanji in a separate post, I’m definitely becoming more and more invested in their complicated rivalry-friendship-mentorship relationship ^ ^

As always, thoughts/comments/reblogs are always super appreciated, and are what fuel me in creating more for this AU!

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

Read the next part: On the Baratie, Part 2

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[miss-musings]

TROS Review - after second viewing

I’m glad I knew all the spoilers going into my first viewing. If I hadn’t known Ben died, I would’ve screamed. Although I’m pretty sure I heard someone at my second viewing go “What?!” when he fell over and vanished into the Force.

OK, let’s break this down.

THE GOOD

The movie looks great.

Daisy, Adam and John Williams all FUCKING brought it for this movie.

I actually liked some of the fan-service-y bits like Wedge getting a cameo, Han having a memory chat with Kylo/Ben, and Luke motivating Rey. I also noticed on the second go-around that Kylo flies an old Imperial TIE fighter (one from the Death Star ruins) to Exegol. And I like that shot of the old X-Wing of the Rebellion and the old TIE fighter of the Empire there alongside each other.

Most of all, I loved ALL the Reylo scenes we got in this movie. About 70 percent of the runtime seems to be dedicated to Rey, Kylo/Ben or both. I mean, it’s basically Reylo: The Movie, and I’m totally here for it. (But more on that below.)

I actually liked seeing Kylo in the mask again. I think it makes him look... sexy? Idk what I feel, y’all.

Some of the new creatures and characters were cool, even if we didn’t spend much time with them. (Again, more on that below.)

Loved Leia’s moments and how she had a big part to play in the story even if Carrie is gone. 😢

Those are all the big things; there might be a few small things that I’d remember if I were watching the movie in real time, but I can’t remember them now.

So, let’s get into it:

THE BAD

Oh, boy where do I start?

The pacing in both the very beginning (first 20-30 minutes?) and the very end (last 10) was ridiculous. My dad even agreed that the beginning felt rushed and disjointed.

While I love Kylo/Ben and Rey, the movie spends so much time focusing on them that no one else really gets an arc. Say what you will about TLJ, but Finn and Poe both had arcs in that movie, even if they were small. I felt like Poe did in this movie what he did in that last one: took to heart the words of wisdom of others around him (or at least, regurgitate their lines). He did it with Leia and Holdo in TLJ, and he did it with Zorri and Lando in this one. Finn doesn’t get any arc in this and the fact that he’s supposed to be Force-sensitive is like ... ??? What? I don’t even have time to unpack all that.

Also, Rose and Hux were sidelined majorly. I don’t even like Hux but even I felt his character and end were poorly done in this movie.

Something about both Finn and Rey’s Force abilities that bugged me was that I thought all Force sensitives can intuit or understand what others are saying in any alien/droid language. Remember how Rey could understand Chewie when she first met him but Finn couldn’t? It makes sense why Rey could understand a droid like BB-8 but why a Wookiee? Are there a lot of Wookiees on Jakku? No, she could understand him bc she’s Force sensitive and it’s an ability she has. But, in this one, neither she nor Finn could understand Babu Frick. I know it’s a small detail, and I could be misremembering canon, but it just bugged me both times.

So, Rey being a Palpatine... makes no sense. How and when did Palpatine have a kid? Was Rey’s dad a cloning experiment, or a naturally conceived and born child? This is something I’m morbidly curious about. I liked it better in TLJ when we thought she was no one, and this seems like a GIANT retcon and slap in the face to Rian Johnson. They even had to write a line about how Kylo supposedly never lied to her. Part of me wonders whether the Emperor was lying??? Maybe making Rey think she was his granddaughter would trick her into being obligated to come and end his life herself? But then, why was that Jedi Hunter looking for her parents? Oh well. Anyway, I did want her to be Rey of Jakku and no one else. But I also appreciate the thematic parallels and the yin/yang thing going with her and Kylo/Ben. He’s the embodiment of the Dark Side even though he’s descended from the Light, and Rey is the embodiment of the Light Side even though she’s descended from the Dark. So I’m a bit conflicted, but I hate it more than I love it.

I also HATE that Ben died. BUT, at least he didn’t die from falling into the pit, and at least there’s still a possibility that he’s coming back. The worst of it is that after he disappears, he’s never addressed again at all. Wouldn’t Poe or Finn ask about him? They don’t necessarily know he’s dead, and he would be a major threat if he were still alive. And why wasn’t he a Force-Ghost at the end? I HOPE it’s bc they’re leaving it open for him to come back. Or maybe his energy is living on in Rey whether spiritually (the dyad thing) or physically (maybe pregnant???).

But here’s the deal: in some ways this movie felt like the series finale of beloved TV show. All your favorites come back for little cameos, your main characters go out on a high note, and everything is resolved to a greater extent. Sure, there are more stories to tell, probably, but the Main Conflict has now been resolved. Think Avatar: The Last Airbender TV show or Star Trek: Voyager as examples.

BUT, in other ways, it DOESN’T feel like a finale. It feels like they’ve left doors to open and questions to explore in future properties. Is Finn Force-Sensitive? Is Jannah Lando’s relative? Is Ben Solo really dead? What’s gonna happen to Rey? Etc.

So, the movie needed to pick a lane. Either be The End of an era, or not. You can’t wrap up a story but then tease us with more stories. That’s not how this works. Fuck, even Harry Potter — as much as everyone hates JKR — got this right. Big Bad Guy is dead and instigating conflict is now resolved. Palpatine was the one who started this whole thing, so now that he’s dead, all is well???

Well, here’s my other big complaint about the movie. JJ & Co don’t seem to know how the Force works.

The Force is about a balance between the Light and the Dark. When one side becomes too strong, the other side grows stronger to compensate. When one side wipes out the other, the other responds. There must always be balance. Snoke even pointed this out in TLJ that Rey was Kylo’s Equal in the Light bc he was growing stronger.

And the Sith and the Jedi are religions on their respective sides. Not all Dark side users are Sith; not all Light side users are Jedi. And there are some Force users who use both freely and some who stay in balance.

The Mortis arc of TCW demonstrates this very well.

This is why so many people were pissed that Ben died. Not only are you losing a great character but you’re also losing the potential of what Ben and Rey could’ve been together as Force-users.

Palpatine and all the Sith are dead. Luke, Leia and all the Jedi are dead.

Except for Rey, who is descended of the Sith but trained by Jedi. So, she (and Ben) would have to figure out exactly how to keep the Force in balance. If the last Jedi just destroyed the last Sith, then the Dark Side is going to have to respond. But, if Rey could find other Force-users and teach them how to be in balance and use both Light and Dark in harmony then balance could be restored. There would be no need for these extremes if everyone stays in the middle.

This means Rey would have to end the Jedi. Which is what Luke wanted in the last movie. But then we find out that Leia received Jedi training??? So was Leia a Jedi? Is Rey? I’m so confused.

I like the fact that Rey’s saber has a darker hilt but it’s a yellow/orange blade. It kinda hints that maybe she will stay in balance — using both light and dark, being neither Sith nor Jedi, but something in between — a Skywalker, if you will.

So I guess, that’s a tiny win. The theory that the Skywalker(s) could be a new religion of Force-users in balance with the Force could still happen after that scene of Rey on Tatooine.

But, still, I hate all these retcons and the idea that the Jedi are the end-all, be-all. The Sith definitely aren’t good; but the Jedi weren’t always great either. And I hate that Rey had to fight Palpatine alone when it should’ve been her AND Ben — the balance between the Dark and Light should’ve been stronger than him, but whatever.

Also, one last thing, but why did Rey have BB-8 on Tatooine? Didn’t Poe make a big deal about Rey hurting BB-8 at the beginning? Why wasn’t BB-8 with Poe? Why wasn’t Chewie with Rey on the Falcon? (I guess he might’ve been and just never got off the ship.) Wouldn’t R2 and C3PO have been more appropriate in that final shot? They were in all 9 films. They’re more iconic and thematically appropriate than BB-8 to close out the saga, but oh well.

😪

TL;DR: I have really mixed feelings about this movie. At the end of both showings, I was smiling, so that’s something. I had fun... I think?? But yeah, it’s definitely bittersweet.

[artificialqueens]

Follow Every Rainbow ('Til You Find Your Dream), chapter 1: Prelude (branjie) - writworm42

A/N: Sound of Music AU for the AQ musical theatre challenge! I really hope y'all like it. TW for religion (specifically Catholicism) and war. Also, you may notice a few things are different. I have chosen not to explore faith/queerness too much in this fic bc I could write a whole fic just about that. I also have changed the setting; it is no longer set in Austria, nor in WWII, bc I didn’t want to write Nazis into the story. So the war is a generic one and the country is just a non-descript one. Sorry @ all purists out there.

Thank you thank you thank you Holtzmanns for beta-ing for me and always supporting me, I’m Soft and I love you.

Vanessa hadn’t grown up with the war, not necessarily. She’d grown up with it around her, but never with her own home involved. It was carried in the crackle of the radio, shouted during family dinners. Exposed and documented in the pictures and print of the daily newspaper. But it stayed far away, a concept instead of a reality—until suddenly, it wasn’t.

The talk on the radio was becoming more serious. Family dinners suddenly became quiet. There were fewer wreckages and more pictures of government officials in the papers. Movies became focused on military glory, on the strength of men and triumph in conflict. There was no doubt about it–something was on the horizon, something big.

But women weren’t meant for war. Women weren’t meant for politics. Women weren’t meant for rebellion or labour. Weren’t meant for jumping in to stop a crisis before it started. So Vanessa stayed out of it.

Until she didn’t.

It was often said that the road to Hell was paved with good intentions. Vanessa wasn’t sure where the country was going, but on the day that the war spilled over into her town, the road to church was paved with nuns. Some of them sold rosaries and carnations to raise money for peace advocacy initiatives and the Red Cross. Some sat stony-faced with signs reminding passersby that every soldier was somebody’s child. Still others wailed in the streets, crying out prayers for the dissolution of borders, for countries to disarm and dissolve their militaries.

Those words weren’t meant for women, but they were spoken anyway.

And Vanessa wanted to speak them, too.

She passed by the nuns every day for months, multiple times a day, back and forth from home to church and home again. Sometimes she prayed the rosary; other times she joined a prayer intentions group; most of the time, she listened to the daily Mass and vespers, mouthing along with the priest’s words like she knew every blessing by heart. No matter what, the image of the nuns stuck in her mind, and soon, prayers for the nuns morphed into prayers to be one.

Vanessa had never been the type to dwell on decisions. For her, everything was simple; want or don’t want. Support or be against.

Do, or don’t.

She was walking home from Eucharistic adoration when she took her chance.

“Sign our petition for armistice to the government, my child?��� The large, kind-looking woman smiled as she walked up, extending her clipboard and pen.

“Thank you, reverend Mother.” Vanessa smiled as she took the pen. “Now, if you have a minute, can I talk to you real quick?”

Vanessa started her aspirancy the day after she took Mother Nina aside. As Nina had explained it, aspirancy was a period of prayer, introspection, and counselling, requiring no less than three hours a day with the sisters, including an hour of talking things out with Nina herself. It was interesting–growing up, Vanessa had experienced nuns as surly, overly-disciplined, punitive in their desire for asceticism and obedience from everyone around them. Nina, on the other hand, was warm and inviting, someone who Vanessa found incredibly easy to talk to. So she did, her daily sessions flying by easily and almost as if they were too short.

You need to quiet down. You need to be disciplined. You need to watch yourself and your mouth. Vanessa had heard it over and over; but Nina never told her those things. Instead, it was almost as if she was even more appreciative of Vanessa for all of the things that the other nuns thought were weaknesses; loudness became spirit, stubbornness became conviction, rashness became childlike whimsy. And Nina never used the words eliminate or discourage either, words that Vanessa had grown used to hearing and used to hating; instead, Nina promised to refine and shape Vanessa, to productively harness her gifts. And Vanessa tried, she really did. She went with the sisters to morning prayers and cried with them in the streets. She did community service with them and volunteered in their kitchen to make their meals. By the six month mark, Vanessa was more than ready to say yes to postulancy, to commit herself wholeheartedly to the convent.

Unfortunately, as supportive as Nina was, she could also be stern, and so she held Vanessa off.

“It’s not just about what you want,” Nina would warn, “It’s about what God wants, too.” So Vanessa prayed, prayed without ceasing, prayed over every thought that came to her mind or feeling that came in her heart. And then the prayers melted away–meditations became recitations, hollow words spread above the swelling lightness in Vanessa’s chest. She got through fewer and fewer passages of the Bible every day, because she would zone out and get lost picturing the scenes of the very first lines to hit her eyes. And every prayer, every act of Grace, became less and less somber, until finally, Vanessa felt God the most when she was playing with the neighbourhood kids, smiling back at them over games of house and babbling conversations.

“Are there other aspirants working with you and the sisters right now, reverend Mother?” Vanessa asked during a session, when a pause in the conversation filled the room for the first time since Vanessa came to know the convent.

Nina smiled. “Why do you ask, Vanessa?”

“Because I’d like to meet them. I wanna get to know them, get to be friends with ‘em.”

It wasn’t something out of character for Vanessa to say–it wasn’t something even remotely new to her to want. In fact, it was something she’d wanted to ask since the very first day of her aspirancy, but had thought might make her seem immature, like a schoolgirl who just wanted to gossip instead of seriously considering her faith.

Nina paused for a moment, her smile unwavering, before nodding, her eyes gleaming with pride.

“Yes, I think you’re ready. In fact, I think I could do you one better–how would you like to enter postulancy with us?”

[pilferingapples]

Episode 5a: Green Finch and Cosette Bird

Not gonna try to Chronology this bc despite my best efforts I have NO idea what time span this is all supposed to be covering, like if it’s weeks or months or, as it appears to be, all happening in one Really Busy Week 

Before I get into it: As always , major props for the Props people, and the set design team on this show. Whatever my other issues about the series, I’ve loved the look of the places, and there’s some real nice touches in every scene. They make rewatching it all worth it just for the visuals. 

...More mixed feelings under the cut, but I did enjoy some things besides the setting!:

HELLO HELLFONT MY OLD FRIEND , what can I say,  it’s becoming a familiar (type)face , any friend in a storm

-I really enjoy this opening-- setting up that the people in Paris really ARE at about ready to riot and everyone really is angry, it’s not just Those Kids in A Bar Somewhere. It feels very A Few Pages of History, (4.1 , for those wondering!) and I’m glad it’s being given some time. 

-I am ALSO Highly Entertained that all this deep rooted and widespread social unrest is juxtaposed with flyers of THAT DASTARDLY VALJEAN. I’m sure to this Javert they’re exactly the same thing-- and I mean I am SURE because Javert tells us so directly: 

Rivet or Rivette or whatever: Uh boss we have intel on an attempt at overthrowing the government and I mean Parisians actually do that not infrequently of late so IDK  but I think we have bigger issues than your Nemeship 

Javert, Verbatim:  THERE IS NO. LARGER. ISSUE. MAN, Mark My Words, Where Ever You Find Unrest, HE Will Be At The Very Heart Of It 

THIS IS THE BEST THING THIS JAVERT HAS EVER SAID but it’s just gonna get better and I am SO here for Hilariously Overinvested In One Rando Thief Javert, he’s got basically nothing to do with Javerts Past and I do not CARE, this is hilarious

- Cutting over to Valjean and Cosette, with Cosette nursing his really oozy arm wound! I am NOT satisfied with Valjean’s “well I had to go back to the Thenardiers for  Reasons” line at ALL, especially not when Cosette was so clearly retraumatized.  I would accept a Scheme on his end, a moral argument, ANYTHING, but she’s just like “so this is awful” and he’s all “but Cosette, REASONS” . Also not satisfied with Cosette denouncing people as Evil! or Valjean signing off on it! I understand why she’s saying it from a Watsonian perspective but the show has chosen to set this up, to have the characters most associated  with redemption and recovery ready to directly condemn. This Cosette is infinitely more judgemental, and I can see why, because holy smokes this Valjean. And this is a fairly brief moment in the show but it’s just off for what this story and these characters represent.

- Meanwhile, in Some Cafe I Guess, Enjolras has some terrible lines about the upcoming revolution that make it seem like this has been a pickup game planned since all of last week and I have horrible foreshadowing of Fandom Arguments to Come. 

Also: this is not the fandom I think we are if we can’t just Nominate some Remaining Amis out of this mess of extras! I’ll go first; I nominate the bearded guy in the corner during Enjolras’ speech about Lamarque (at ~~4:43) for Bahorel, and the dark-haired guy in front of him for Joly.

-I love how grim the women’s prison is; also, Mme T trying to be as good a mother as she knows how to be even here.  (Also I know they probably should NOT be in the same prison together, but this is one of those condensations that I Get)

- I’m sure a lot of people are gonna hate it, but I actually really appreciate that this Marius is rather cold and unpleasant to Eponine post-Gorbeau, when she’s taking him to see Cosette. That is  canon!  He’s quite rude and even physically rough with her when he sees her again!  It’s an important aspect of his character; he gets caught up with his current Only Thing In The World and treats other people around him badly, it’s a running thing! Heck, this Marius is still  kinder to Eponine post-Gorbeau than his book counterpart.  I feel awful for Eponine, of course, but then I absolutely should. This is a Good Bit.  

-Thenardier escapes from prison by pretending to have Died of Dysentery--er, cholera! If they’re not gonna have Gav and the whole Escape By Night scene, this is actually a pretty clever, quick way to get Thenardier out, and build in the info about the cholera epidemic. I can never be exactly glad to lose Gavroche Scenes, but this was a pretty good way to abridge that! 

- Valjean’s arm  is better! So it’s been Some Vague Time! So he’s leaving for Mysterious Valjean Purposes (money), with a blithe “Cosette stay here, it’s safe but also don’t leave the house until I get back, also you can’t come with me because it’s dangerous, but don’t worry it’s TOTALLY safe.” If this Valjean were more the warm, loving character he should be, this might just seem awkward and badly phrased; with all that’s happened between them already and all that comes next, this just seems manipulative and cruel.

-Vajlean goes out into the streets and sees ...a drawing that doesn’t really look like him! On a wanted poster! So he tears it down. Javert’s Valjeany Sense Activates and his eyes open in his office when Valjean tears down the poster Who Knows Where. This delights me. DELIGHTS. This Javert is a hilarious parody of all Javerts and I officially love it.

-I also like Thenardier and...Montparnasse?-- and someone else..?why is this scene so dark --  in the sewers, and the cut from that to Cosette. Nice way to stress the actual real danger that Valjean’s left her in, also: good Cat Scare before Marius happens. (yeah and also Thenardier seems to be Leader of the Patron Minette, which is never my Fave Choice for an adaptation to make, but it makes sense, especially as breakneck as things are moving 

-Toussaint’s Cheerful Doomy Dooms of Doom while Valjean leaves her and Cosette to do his Secret Valjean Thing; since Enjolras has banned romantics from the barricade, guess we gotta take our cheerful death talk where we can! (also, totally canon!)

-okay, you know what, I really like Cosette’s scenes in the garden. This Cosette is doing a great job of selling me on her Extremely Young-ness. She seems young enough and unworldly enough that a Magic Boyfriend sneaking in without her noticing is Cool and Exciting and Magical instead of super unnerving.  She’s adorable. And there is really excellent framing here with the flowers and the lighting and all. It does  feel like a fairy tale, which, it really should; this is Cosette’s fairy tale romance and I’m happy for her.

...Unfortunately this Valjean is rather too much the part of the Ogre Parent and I wish Marius would just take her away.  Uhg. (also I haaaate this bgm. HAAAATE. I am not talking about it much and I know it’s probably just me but it is so obtrusive to me!) 

- Gavroche shows up, robbin’ all the randos and giving bread to a couple of genuinely unrelated street kids! I...am having such mixed feelings! I love this actor; this actor has Gavroche absolutely DOWN and I am accepting him into my heart entirely but...like...why is  this  part of the story  here,  why is there so much emphasis on him being a thief, why does he just leave the momes instead of trying to take them in, why is this show trying to make it visually clear that these aren’t his brothers? this is just..it’s the thing that keeps happening where there are a bunch of changes for no apparent reason and they don’t add up to anything new but they also aren’t the Original Thing and I can’t figure out what the point of those alterations really are (though this scene, with the extra thieving and reduced generosity, grand-total steals some of Gavroche’s heroism).  The actor is amazing but GIVE HIM HIS FULL BIT. 

- back to Definitely Some Cafe (it’s really well done, I just have no idea what cafe it is ? It’s full of workers, maybe this is supposed to be the Corinth?)  and a brief, foolish moment on my part of hoping there’ll be more discussion of why the rebellion is happening is Destroyed and turned to  “you rich students can go back to your families in the country but--”  THIS IS THE GHOST OF MY ASKBOX FUTURE AND I HATE IT , OH SPIRITS;  WHAT MAY I DO TO TURN THIS NIGHTMARE ASIDE

-...why isn’t this worker just...Feuilly...why are none of the workers Feuilly...

-P.sure my Joly HC is here 

either that or he’s BBC’s Merlin which might explain some things

- Awkwardness of Lost Historical Context aside, this Enjolras is growing on me (like a scruffy beard!) . He’s intense and physically affectionate and I like that in an Enjolras; I just think it’s weird that he’s hanging out with what are apparently random students who haven’t committed to the revolution frigging yet , but you know! Whatever!  

- ...I am currently kind of on the fence about this but...if they’re not gonna give the whole arc with Grantaire As Symbol of the Apathetic Bourgeois being Converted the time it needs, I ...think?  ..what they’re doing here might be a serviceable substitute?  He’s very obviously Not Got The Revolution Fever and is Doing It For His Friends, and he’s obviously super uncomfortable about it.  I like this take on that so far better than some versions I’ve seen. 

ATM, gotta say, the Amis Scene is bugging me the least. If it weren’t for the absolutely bizarre nonsense last week, I would be Pretty Okay with the Amis stuff?? WEIRD BUT TRUE.  Or maybe just a sign of how some adaptations have totally destroyed my expectations here to the point where “Enjolras isn’t actually Dracula” is Okay With Me. ANYWAY I’LL TAKE IT, A MOMENT OF LIKABLE CHARACTERIZATION. 

-The Revolutionary conversation segues with a cut to the Royalist Salon and Gillenormand, who  is NOT likeable and I’m not sure why we get this scene Here In Particular?  A contrast to the revolutionaries, I guess? But this Gillenormand continues to be very very  accurate. 

- At The House In The Garden, Valjean is back! Cosette comes to hug him! He apparently WAS worried that she wouldn’t be safe so what was with the reassurances earlier like she was being a stupid child! And most important

WHY DOES VALJEAN HAVE A BACK LACING WAISTCOAT  WHY DID HE WEAR THAT ON HIS TRIP AWAY  WHO LACED HIM UP WHILE HE WAS GONE  AAAAAAAAH 

okay I’m okay

- wait NO I’m NOT because now it’s time for the Patron Minette to come in and not-rob this place and the show completely destroys Eponine’s moment as the guardian of Marius and Cosette’s happiness!  Instead of her getting to intimidate a bunch of grown armed men into retreat, she’s attacked, threatened, and ultimately rendered  passive, her moment of heroism rendered null when no one comes to her scream, and her role in saving the Valjean house and all in the garden replaced by an actual dog.  I am really pretty furious about this! But the Character Destruction Of Eponine deserves its own post so Moving On FOR NOW...

- ...also are you telling me THIS hyper paranoid, aggressive JVJ doesn’t notice or react to screams and barking dogs 

- holy moly even kneeling Marius is almost as tall as Cosette, that’s not relevant to anything but it’s entertaining to me; it’s also Very Cute to have him comforting her by making himself smaller than her, when they’re both freaking out about her imminent maybe-move. 

- Valjean having a conversation with Eponine instead of just getting her note to move is not inherently The Worst! But the way he treats her just reinforces how cold and uncaring he is. There’s no compassion in him for a poor abused girl who could almost have been his daughter, no concern for how she might be faring, not even an awkward “hey be careful”.  Is it understandable? Yeah, sure. A lot of selfish focus is Understandable and human. But it’s not admirable, it’s not kind, it’s not the actions or attitude of a man who’s learned kindness towards the world through love, or who tries to put others first to the point that it would kill him. It makes sense, for some characters-- but it’s just not Valjean. 

-NICOLETTE IS THE HERO THIS ADAPTATION NEEDS and she’s SO happy to announce that Marius is back to talk to his awful awful Grandpa!

- The whole scene with Marius asking Gillenormand  for permission to marry is very satisfyingly awful and I have no complaints. It’s a bit abbreviated, and I wonder if people who don’t know the era will totally get that this is a question of needing adult legal approval?  but it’s not shortened beyond the amount that Adaptational Space might suggest. I’d take this little scene as a good illustration of the Gillenormand/Marius dynamic for anyone. Also: is that the Yellow Prisoner-Crafted Wallpaper???  BBC Set Design People, you’re the BEST

- I know I’ve already given kudos to the props and set people but I LOVE this little bachelor apartment that Marius and Courfeyrac are sharing, this is so great?? I’ve seen sketches from the era that look so much like this!  Give me a  moment to squeak happily about this place-- the low roof! The clothesline! The clutter! I love it! (@ about 30:00) 

- I HATE EVERYTHING ENJOLRAS  SAYS HERE THOUGH, even if I intend to meme out No Romantic Daydreamers to the FULLEST 

-Cutting back to Valjean and Cosette’s house, I also hate that Cosette defense-flinches when she wakes up! It’s been eight years! That should not still be her auto-reflex if she’s come to feel safe and loved!  My heart! 

Valjean tells her they have to move today. Valjean does NOT tell her where they’re going. Valjean gives her an hour to pack--and Cosette has to run out and ask Toussaint what the address will be and has to LIE TO TOUSSAINT about why she needs it. Valjean, there are secrets you might feel a need to keep from your daughter. WHERE SHE LIVES should not be one of them. “I’m taking you to an address no one knows and also you can’t have it ahead of time” is what kidnappers do! Watching Cosette write her note and move (terrible bgm and all) is breaking my heart--she is so alone in this house--no one is on her side, no one is there to listen to her, no one is really considering her feelings or giving her any explanations, she’s being moved around like a pet. The abuse is less florid than with the Thenardiers, but it’s still there, and I want to cry. 

The scene goes from soldiers marching outside the window of the new apartment to the funeral. Aaaand that seems like a good place to break this giant review in two. 

Randoming Fandoming:

-I’m pretty sure that at around 6:14 a woman and kid in modern clothes just wander in the background behind Marius! This is not a Complaint, these things happen to any production, but it’s fun to have spotted? 

[papistark]

Okay. I’ve allowed a night to let everything sink in. I’m ready to talk about Endgame now.

*cinemasins voice* spoilers!! (duh..)

so the wounds are still fresh. v v v v v v v v v fresh. but my thoughts during the entire movie were just OMG IM TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS HAPPENING SO I CAN REMEMBER IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEFORE i inevitably go see this movie again

This is what the movie reduce me to like 99% of the time btw

now, I’m gonna try and break this up to be as organized as possible into 4 main sections which will be general thoughts, the highs, the lows, and closing thoughts. that may sound organized but I promise it won’t be and as always I’ll have to use bullet holes to even stay relatively "organized"

I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out that I either loved or would wanna discuss but tbh the ENTIRE FILM i was just like GOD I WANNA REMEMBER THIS FOREVER!! Every scene that happened i was like god there's still 3 hours of stuff that's going to happen but I want to remember it all!!!

Overall

this movie was good. and i’m mad it was so good and i found it so enjoyable for how dirty they did me. The pacing was pretty well done for a first viewing, but I'm sure after a couple rewatches I'll get caught up on the occasional misstep in the pacing and general direction the story took, but I really liked it!!

I thought the Thor stuff was kinda distasteful and honestly a joke that ran too long. Like ha ha okay we get it but also? He went through so much fucking trauma can we just lay off him? Damn? I don't wanna linger too much on it bc honestly the more I think about it the more I get upset the russos did him dirty

all the callbacks??? made me so emotional????? eleven years and almost two dozen films guys holy fucking shit it felt like such a good homage to bring stuff back

Yo literally when they went up to busted ass thanos i leaned over to my bf and whispered "are they just gonna kill thanos in the first ten minutes is that allowed" and uh YEP! WOW

Also the opening scene being Clint's family getting dusted... gasps in my theater y'all they went in hard on us

TIME HEIST!!!!!! FUCK marvel knows how to take you on a fun journey!! The concept was so fun!!

I also appreciate them mixing up the plot a bunch to keep us guessing!! Like fuck, when Thanos was finding out through Nebula... future nebula talking to past gamora i was SO SOFT... sisters...

Hulk was... weird. It felt a weird kind of fanservicey for a little bit, and honestly a little out of place? But. Eh. Wasn't the worst part. Certain parts of it were fun! I think I got used to it haha

Everyone looked. So good. After the time jump. Damn. Thank you make up department for everyone's new looks. I live for silver fox tony always.

I loved seeing Loki again i know it was so little content BUT I DONT CARE I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY FUCKING PRINCE

We didn't get as much Nebula and Tony content as I was hoping but god it was so cute and tender in the beginning. Imagine all that bonding. Nebula finding tony on the floor, knowing he's on the brink of death, and propping him up in the seat :'(((( tony helping fix nebula :(((( the father daughter relationship we deserved and didn't get to see come to fruition.

AMERICA'S ASS. THANK YOU SCOTT LANG.

All the New York flash back was so fucking fun. The elevator scene. Brilliant. I really thought they were gonna recreate but it was such a fun tease. Also cap making fun of his past self for saying "i could do this all day" I SCREAM why do the Russo's get steve so well

Carol taking a direct punch in the face from Thanos without even flinching? We stan a goddess

ALSO SHORT HAIRED CAROL YESSSS I LIVED!!!!! YES!!!! (But also that movie could've used like way more Carol thats just mY OPINION)

Also AGAIN, I DON'T CARE THAT IT WAS FAN SERVICE, STEVE WEILDING MJOLNIR WAS E V E R Y T H I N G. They have TEASED US since that one middle avengers movie we don't talk about that he was worthy and!!! Our!! Son!! Is!! Fucking!!! Worthy. And the scene of thor making him swap w/ him "you get the little one" i screamed bitch

also I was living for how much Steve swore in this film lol literally fuck joss Whedon's characterization we don't know her!

Valkyrie on a Pegasus thank you THANK YOU i was living

That entire final action scene..... holy fucking shit y'all. It was just crazy enough without being too crazy. I loved the callback to the original long continuous shot

THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AND SANG WITH THAT A-FORCE SCENE. YES. ALL THE MARVEL LADIES LINING UP. THEY ARE HERE AND THEY ARE THE STRONGEST OF US ALL. A-FORCE. FUCKING A-FORCE. Thank you Russo's for my LIFE

Carol's little "hi peter parker :)" god i love them. I love peter. My fucking spider son. I missed him so much. I missed Tom Holland's sweet peach little face AH I CRIED WHEN HE SHOWED BACK UP

Also last kind of ~general~ thought i know i don't get time travel at all and it is an instant way to confuse me in any franchise but wouldn't steve doing what he did fuck literally everything up idk we'll get to steve in a bit

Highs

morgan

H.

fucking

stark

I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT FED WITH SUCH GOOD TONY CONTENT THIS FILM ONLY FOR THEM TO STOMP ON MY HEART LMAOOO

DAD TONY BEING AS LOVING AND DOTING AND SWEET AND TENDER W/ HIS DAUGHTER AS WE ALL HAVE HEADCANONED HIM TO BE FOR YEARS!!!

TONY GETTING HIS JUSTIFICATION IN BEING MAD not just mad but PISSED at Cap for how everything fell out. catharsis. felt good scoob.

speaking of good tony content of course i need to just take a moment to YELL ABOUT STONY thank you russos for the fan service thank you for having tony ogle and comment on steve rogers’ ass it almost makes up for all the pain and suffering

btw do y’all think the H. for Morgan’s middle name stands for Harley because I LIKE TO THINK SO

also am i lowkey annoyed that like half of viewers won’t recognize an adult ty simpkin at tony’s funeral at the end even tho i know i shouldn't be because ot everyone is a die hard BUT half the articles im looking up for reviews and shit of that scene literally all the results are “SO WHO IS THAT KID AT THE END OF ENDGAME” YOU FUCKING FOOLS IT’S TONY’S FIRST BORN SON HARLEY KEENER FROM IRON MAN 3. FUCKS. im getting off topic anyway i was just happy they brought him back because I am an iron man 3 enthusiast and his relationship with tony was SO important and this confirms that at the very least tony kept in contact with him over all these years!!! and he wasn’t just some insignificant blip

Not to be stony on main but steve being the first person to hold Tony again once he was back on earth :)))) wrow.

Also the first thing tony telling him being "I lost the kid" WOW BREAK MY HEART MORE HUH!! WHY NOT!!

The first thing Peter doing when he saw Tony again :'') just rambling about everything that happened and tony just so happy to see him alive and hugging him so tight I'M NOT FINE!! NOTHING WILL EVER BE FINE AGAIN!!!

I appreciated the closure with Howard like?? A lot?? I'm the last person to be a Howard stark apologist, but I think his character and his relationship w/ Tony and how Tony viewed him as a father and as a man was so well crafted throughout the series??? Idk I liked that scene it was good to my baby.

And now a pOSSIBLY CONTROVERSIAL~~ opinion but..... I loved Steve's ending. I really did. I thought he got a beautiful and fitting ending and I was so happy. It meant so much especially to hear his reasonging being that in a way, he did it for Tony. He was inspired by what Tony told him. He saw Tony get his happy ending and for so many films now Steve has been searching for that and he missed an entire life. Tony helped him realize that. It just made me!! So emo!! Like Bucky's face when he knew Steve wasn't gonna be coming back. Steve's last convo w/ Sam. It was just amazing. I can't believe I'm seeing hot takes from people calling Steve selfish or blaming the fact that the Russos have a boner for Steggy or whatever. Who cares!!! Steve got his happy ending and it was well deserved and a wonderful arc!! Lay off him bc you ship him w/ Bucky or tony more damn!!!! (Idk about the timeline y'all dont come for me i really have no idea i think the Russos just said fuck it for that one even when talking about not fucking up the timeline)

Lows

Natasha deserved better. She did. I understand why they took her character arc the way that they did, and honestly, this is the first time I've felt we've seen Natasha have even a modicum of actual character traits since like, Iron man 2 and Avengers 1. She found purpose in keeping the family together and trying to help the people left living, while never stopping or losing contact with anyone else in their endeavors to fix what Thanos broke. As tired as I am of seeing a female character die for ~man pain~ this felt like so much more than that. In the end Nat wanted to sacrifice herself for the greater good, and that's what she did. I'm still fucking upset though, even though they've butchered her character across almost all the films she's been in

Thor being turned into an entire fucking joke. That's it. I got nothin left for the writers at this point.

So..... let's talk about Tony's death, shall we

"You can rest now" broke me. It truly did. I've never loved any fictional character across any medium as much as I have loved Tony Stark. But Pepper's line at the beginning "you'll sleep, but will you rest?" Is so fucking telling. I think I immediately knew for sure in that moment. Because she's right. And that's the worst part.

Peter :)))) finally :)))) calling :))))) tony :)))) by :)) his :)))) first :)) name :))) as he was dying :)))) asking him not to go the same way he told tony he didn't want to go when he was getting dusted GOD. AND WE THOUGHT THAT SCENE IN INFINITY WAR WAS ROUGH. HAD N O T H I N G ON THIS.

No offense but where was Rhodey when Tony was dying lmao ok

That funeral scene.... seeing everyone there drawn together..... god. It was beautiful. It really was.

Of course I'm not happy. I'm extremely fucking upset. I knew tony wielding the gauntlet would be coming, but I thought they would find a way for him to make it out alive. As soon as they were showing that even the hulk couldn't handle it with the gamma radiation, I knew the nail was going to be in the coffin.

All that aside... what I can say, is that if they HAD to kill him off, I think it was a proper send off. We saw so many arcs of Tony's come to a close, and I knew it was just a matter of time. Also that being said, I really don't believe in death being necessary to end a character's arc. Yeah yeah blah blah we get the sad and tragic but TRUE message that at the end of the day death is inevitable and that tony had to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He and Strange both knew it, and as soon as Strange held up that finger I knew that was it for him.

It wouldn't be so hard if they hadn't given us everything they did with tony after the 5 year jump. He healed. He was HAPPY. But pepper was right, and as long as Tony was alive... he would never truly /rest/. And that's the only way I'm able to make peace with this death. Tony has always been a character who was just going going going, never going to stop even if it killed him, all to protect the ones he loved, and protect the whole world and make it a better place. He had a beautiful story that was told so well over these past eleven years, with admitted shortcomings here and there. He had the most cohesive trilogy films, the best character development and arcs, and an incredible portrayal. I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't make it any easier that they decided to go and show us that Tony was able to FINALLY settle down with Pepper and see him find the best version of himself as a husband to her and a father to his little baby girl. A baby girl that now has to grow up without her dad, and pepper has to go on without her husband, the love of her life. It's fucking tragic and honestly, we didn't need that imho lmao

The hardest parts is that like.... idk. I feel like the only reason they killed him is for shock factor, but somehow without the shock? A lot of us felt or were worried that this was coming. I think the russos and co. We're just totally set on the idea that like... tony HAD to die and that was the only way for this arc to come to a close not just WITHIN the universe, but meta, outside of the MCU as well. They did the same thing with Hugh jackman as Logan and that shit HURTED me y'all. Eleven years we had RDJ give us this amazing character and he is the SOLE reason the MCU is where it is today. So you know what, the Russo's and everyone can circle jerk about how much ~poetic justice~ there is in this ending for Tony, but at the end of the day... it just ain't it fam.

Realistically I know after wielding the infinity stones there is no way Tony, a human, could've survived, even with his armor on. I knew that. And as biased as I am towards seeing Tony living, if he had wielded the stones and NOT died? It would've felt cheap. So again, if they had to end his life, I appreciate the way they did it and thought it was the best send off they could've given him. I also would've appreciated some kind of alternate option where oh i dont know carol or someone strong enough could've handled the snap and tony could live the rest of his days with his wife and daughter and found family but..... ig that's just me huh.

:(((( Happy asking Morgan what she wanted and her saying "cheeseburgers" SHE'S JUST LIKE HER DADDY I AM SO!!! UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And last thought is that I fucking cried AGAIN because the biggest applause moment was during the credits when RDJ's name appeared. My theater gave a standing damn ovation. Also the very last sound after it faded to black... Tony hammering away, building the very first Iron Man suit.... that shit hurted.

If any of y'all read this and wanna yell about stuff w/ me I WELCOME YOU INTO MY DMS LMAO PLS MESSAGE ME I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO CRY WITH!!!

[thistle-verse]

Hello! I really admire your writing and I wanted to ask you: which, would you say, are 3 novels that influenced you? xx

Eep! How flattering!

I am your stereotypical English major type so picking three novels is really difficult; I want to go off on several tangents with three novels for each or something, lol. Thinking of myself as a reader I’d want to talk about the novels I read at really formative ages like Anne of Green Gables (beloved), my grandmother’s pretty shitty Harlequin romances I read on the sly, and the first capital L “literary” novel I read in like 6th grade, Jane Eyre. I’d also want to talk about Jane Eyre in relation to my experience studying literature and the ways analysis and criticism opened the text up for me in such profound and exciting ways, and how that process is ongoing with every text. 

Here are three novels that I think have influenced me a lot as a writer, although they are all actually short story collections, which is interesting.

The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

Carter’s collection of adapted fairytales blew my mind when I first read it, and I go back to it again and again on an academic level but also on a craft level. I admire Carter’s way with language–it so muscular and evocative and sly. I’m also very interested in the way myth and fairytale and monsters appear and are recycled and take on new meanings and nuances in different time periods, locations, frameworks, etc. I’ve used the title story many times in applying various critical theories to a text and Carter’s writing is so complex and layered that I find something new each time.

The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien

O’Brien is another writer whose craft blew me away at first reading. Like I had to put the book down periodically and stare around the room in amazement. In this collection, I’m particularly thinking about “How to Tell a True War Story,” which is really hard to read but in the way it SHOULD be hard to read and I think is the best example I’ve read of how beauty and obscenity can work together to serve certain purposes and certain issues that require that kind of service (like war), and “The Lives of the Dead,” which is one of my most treasured and favorite stories of all time. It never fails to bring me to tears but it is worth it every time. It’s beautiful, and it’s about death and memory and so it’s really very explicitly about stories. It begins with this line: “But this too is true: stories can save us.” As I’m writing this and thinking about it, that story might be the single biggest influence for me as a writer? 

Me and My Daddy Listen to Bob Marley by Ann Pancake

Listen, if I could make every single person I know read one single book it would be this one, because I adore Ann Pancake so very much and because she is so masterful and varied and talented. Also, she’s from West Virginia just like me, although she hasn’t lived there for a long time, also just like me! And many of her stories are set there, and I find my original writing is very preoccupied with West Virginia/Appalachia right now as well. Ann Pancake is sort of my idol. Anyway, the novella in this collection, “In Such Light” is a master class of a subtle exploration of complicated relationships between people and internal growth of character. “Mouseskull” is so fucking incredible I wanted to cry in appreciation of the craft and also because I will never be able to write that well. And the story that contributes the title of the collection, “Me and My Daddy Listen to Bob Marley,” is both the rare story from a child’s point of view that works for me and also a fantastic example of how point of view as a craft decision narrows down your choices as a writer but opens up potentially powerful benefits that would be lost otherwise (in this case, the tension is just unbelievable bc of Mish’s age and the way that we, the reader, know more than Mish does about what he is experiencing). Pancake’s language changes with each story, as benefits the story and characters themselves, and really she’s just the best and please everyone read this book. 

This is one of my favorite questions and I hope maybe I can persuade you to answer, too, @magpiefngrl??? (And anyone else who would like to!) Thanks for the ask. I really enjoyed thinking about that. 

[my-chemical-friendzone]

Ask Jane’s Creator (Part III)

I have two questions: How did Jane and Jester meet, and when did Jane first come to the castle?

-From Tara

Jane was born at the castle. Her mother and father were already in service to the Royal family. And so Jane first met Jester when he arrived with his family of traveling players to perform for the King. You can find that part of Jester’s history on the profile pages. 

Will Jane ever get sent on an "urgent" mission for the king where she actually leaves the castle and travels to a different kingdom? And if she does, how do they react to Dragon?

-From Jolly, 12

Jane has been on several diplomatic missions. Part of the reason is so that the King can show off the fact that he has a young apprentice with a rather powerful dragon at her disposal. It’s a smart way to send a message when you know that your castle is under-powered with soldiers and guards! 

In the episode "The Tooth Fairy," I noticed some cave paintings on Dragon's cave wall. I saw different animals such as a giraffe, a dolphin, and also a ship. Do these mean anything?

-From Rachael Jane, 15, Celina, Ohio, USA

Some of paintings were done by Dragon before he met Jane, when he first returned to his cave after all his adventures. He tried painting all the different animals and large vessels he’d seen in different countries. He calls them his "musings" and told Jane that he had seen others on cave walls all around the world, and hoped they were also the musings of other dragons from thousands of years ago. But some of the runes and paintings in Dragon’s cave are much older and were there 300 years ago when Dragon was born, though he was too young to remember them. 

When will Jane be strong enough to wear full armor like a breastplate and vambraces and all that great stuff? And will she ever use any other weapon besides a bow and a sword?

-From Rhapsody, 15

Jane has also learned to use staves for single combat and lances for mounted attack. She also has to learn the assault machines such as the trebuchet and the catapult. She can wear her armor now as it is very light and strong, made from the same steel tempered in dragon fire as her sword. 

Do Jane and Pepper wear bras? I was just wondering because they are the right age to wear them. I love Jane and the Dragon!

-From Tara, 12

Bras are quite a recent invention, but women have improvised clothing to give them support from as long ago as 2500 BC. In Jane’s time, they would tie strips of material rather like wide scarves around their chest as an undergarment. 

I know that Jester wants to see his family again. Will he ever leave and try to find them?

-From Dingo, USA

Because Jester's family are travelling players, he gets word from them occasionally from traders and other travelers passing through the Kingdom. He hopes that one day he will be able to show them his own skills in the hope that they will be proud of him, and also to reassure them that the hard decision they made years ago for his betterment was well placed. 

Hello! I was wondering whether you will create any progressive, chronological episodes instead of a different story each time? And I really love the show, I just discovered it last week!

-From Melody, CANADA

We have written some episodes like that. It remains to be seen if they will work within the series format as chronological episodes. Some territories where Jane airs will shuffle the episodes so much that it can be confusing. But I would love to see if we can achieve it! 

I read that Jane wears leggings to annoy her mother, but shouldn't her skirt be longer? During her time, it was considered immodest for anyone, even men, to show their knees (unless they were very young children).

-From L-Michelle, 14, Woodstock, Georgia, USA

Jane refuses to wear dresses so that her mother will take her decision to train as a knight seriously. She wears leather leggings because that was a standard knight garment, just as bike riders wear leathers today for protection from scuffs and scrapes if they fall off their bikes. Jane isn't really wearing a short skirt over the leather leggings though, it's a fabric lining behind the waist armor she wears round her hips so it moves like a pleated skirt. I think Jane wears this so that she can look a bit feminine - a small token to appease her mother! 

Do you illustrate your own books? I love the drawings in your books; they are so colorful and expressive. I love to draw dragons...not the scary and evil kind but those like your lizard-lipped Dragon. How would I go about becoming an illustrator?

-From Rachael Jane 15, Celina, Ohio, USA

I do illustrate my own books. I illustrated the Jane and the Dragon books over twenty years ago now. I like to use coloring pencils and pick out the edges and highlights in brown ink. To become an illustrator, the most important thing is to get lots of practice, especially drawing faces. I found the best time to practice was when my family were watching TV. I could watch them and sketch away as they went from happy, to sad, to frightened all in the space of one program! 

First: Thank you for the wonderful show! I really enjoy it and appreciate all the work you and the people at Weta put into it. Second, I have recently acquired a copy of the illuminated manuscript "Jane and the Dragon" and it has brought up a question. If Jane's armor is special, as you have said in a previous answer, how did Jester get a hold of it?

-From Mara, USA

Yes, indeed, there is a long history behind the armor that Jester gives to Jane. How he came to own it, and the true nature of that armor and its link to Dragon, are all part of the long chain of discoveries that Jane and Dragon make as they uncover the truth about dragons and their own destinies. But I can’t give away those secrets here...sorry! 

I love your show! My mum and I watch it all the time! But I have a question to ask. So, if dragon's fiery breath can melt a dragonblade, how can it be forged in dragonfire? It makes no sense to me!

-From Annelise, 9, Concord, New Hampshire, USA

Any metal has to be heated to the point that it goes soft if it's going to be beaten and worked into the shape of a blade. Metalsmiths heat blades in hot open braziers to soften them to be worked with a hammer and anvil.  A dragonblade needs the extra heat of dragon fire to soften it enough so it can be beaten into shape. But if too much heat is applied, the blade will melt completely, just as other metals will if too much heat is applied. The trick is to get it hot enough to be soft, but not so hot that it melts! 

I've been watching some of the more recent episodes, and Gunther seems to be softening up a bit. Will the poor lad ever go against his father and just stand up for what is right instead of just simply complying to his dad's wishes?

-From Kenzie, 15, USA

You are quite right, he is growing as an independent young man able to stand up to his father, but just a little. Gunther defies his father completely in one episode when Dragon is threatened with expulsion from the kingdom. It's the first time that we see the knight's code of ethics winning out in Gunther's heart over his fear and his sense of duty to his father. 

Does it ever rain in the show or is it always sunny and beautiful?

-From Alissandra, 15, Albany, Oregon, USA

It certainly does rain! Have you seen the episode where Jane falls off her horse during a thunderstorm? The whole castle staff have to take shelter in the Throne Room where Jester tries to keep their spirits up with brilliant jokes. Gunther reckoned it would be less painful back outside in the driving rain. 

Are there any other games Jane and her friends play besides Bandyball and Rock, Parchment, and Sword?

-From Ryan, 13, La Puente, California, USA

Some of the games and sports we play today were popular in Jane's time. Individual sports like archery, wrestling and hammer throwing were designed to develop fighting skills and fitness and were mostly played by boys and men. Team sports like bandyball, which was an early form of hockey, were played by everyone, as was a simple version of soccer called gameball. Cricket started a little after Jane’s time and was called stoolball because two milkmaid stools were used as the wickets. And a form of bowls called skittles was popular as were two early forms of golf called paganica and suigan. 

How far do you plan to take this series? Will you keep on writing new stories about Jane and Dragon until they fulfill their destinies together?

-From Aly, 13, Houston, Texas, USA

Jane and the Dragon is doing very well all around the world with a wonderful and passionate following. If the series remains popular and the TV stations keep on playing it, then we hope to be able to go on making new episodes for a long time to come. I also plan to tell more of those adventures through books so that the everyone can see how both Jane and Dragon's destinies work out! 

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I'VE BEEN PONDERING NEXUS

One likes you, you have opened a real can of worms. Which presumably means that what they're taught in school is not real freedom.1 Don't you learn things you'd never say face to face meetings. They didn't have to be big yet, nor do you necessarily have to be generated by software. 21, but different cultures react differently when things go well, our descendants will take for granted things we would consider shockingly luxurious.2 I mean more that conflicts with investors are particularly nasty. Plus a lot of the past.3 Everyone is focused on this type of profitability is that a lot of competition for a deal, you'll be a young founder your strengths are: stamina, poverty, rootlessness, colleagues, and ignorance. Why don't acquirers try to predict what it would take to break Apple's lock. Ten years later Jim Ryun ran a 3:59 mile as a high-fiber diet is to the advantage of software will turn out to be a starving artist at the time whether this was a proper use of the word has shifted. Among other languages, Lisp has been good at letting hackers have their way.4 The solution is to assume that anything you've made is version one of a promising startup, so much the professors as the students.5

A few simple rules will take a big bite out of your head. Only if it's fun. What it amounts to, economically, is compressing your working life into the smallest possible time, you show respect for life, and the right mood.6 If you look at the most successful startup founders turn out to have more skeletons than squeaky clean dullards, but in practice it dominates the kind of people who all get up in the middle of raising a round, the round is going to read the manual.7 I expect this to become increasingly common. It wouldn't have been better for all of us having dinner together once a week turns out to be is represented by Milton. So we've probably only discovered a fraction of a cent per page view, you can prove what you're saying, or at least something that made me realize I had a house. Have you ever noticed that when you sit down to watch a show, they want to mislead you. Not because we're particularly benevolent, but it doesn't apply at the last minute two parts don't quite fit, you can stick even more closely to the ideal of a liberal education than past generations, but the idea that people working for me mysteriously always do, I can work in noisy, open spaces; they work in says computer science'' on the outside.8

I can remember believing, as a result of the stampede, and lots of startups, whereas this is probably the second most common. And if you're doing it. Not intelligence—determination. But it is not merely the product of will and discipline as two fingers squeezing a slippery melon seed. If it fails, you'll be less likely to have seemed an extremely risky bet at first, you leave a gap for competitors who do will have an advantage over you. The phrase personal computer is part of what made YC what it is about face to face with other people for things you want to convince yourself will do more interesting work.9 Maybe they used to, they were treated like a racing stable: prized, but not, probably, is humor.

So is it coming out of? So far the closest anyone has come is Secretary of Labor.10 If you could attract a critical mass of them signed up. We no longer admire the sage—not the left or the right.11 Distraction is not a reference work. But suggesting efficiency is a different thing from actually being efficient. Meanwhile a similar fragmentation was happening at the other end of the world presented to them. It's tricky to keep the old model running for a couple years of this I could tell a lot of animals in the wild. So any Web-based applications. Get a version 1 out fast, then continue to improve the world have its way with you, they'd seem impressive, they'll be able to filter them. You don't know what you want.12 You turn one knob to set the social norms.

They care what the market thinks of you and what other VCs think. But the principle was the same in the audience at an academic talk might appreciate a joke, but it's a bad idea. The person who would in 1950 have been the first duty of the scholar. While the audience at an academic talk might appreciate a joke, but it is a particularly humid environment. Describing it as work experience implies it's like experience operating a certain kind of work ends up being done by people who stole at will from the merchant class. That makes the acquisition very expensive when it finally happens. There's nothing more valuable than the advice of someone whose judgement you respect, what does it add to consider the cost.13 Why did desktop computers take over? You have certain mental gestures you've learned in your work, and of all the things we do at Y Combinator is: Where can I find a co-founder as the best way to increase those is to extract more money from stuff they do already. Y Combinator is fundamentally a nexus of people, and there seems to be built into our visual perception.14

We Look for in Founders October 2010 I wrote this on an Apfel laptop. And the models of how to look and act varied little between companies. Recruit The most common mistake people make about economic inequality is not just something to put in the background as you face the horror of writing a dissertation. Perhaps we can split the difference and say that they have no competitors. Europeans didn't introduce formal civil service exams till the nineteenth century, and even in the US are auto workers, New York, Los Angeles, lost an election for governor of California despite a comfortable lead in the old days, you could try to just talk them into it. Why risk it? 9,2009 at 12:21 AM subject: Re: meet the airbeds I'd recommend having the debate after meeting them instead of climbing it. I get a lot of hand-wringing now about declining market share.15

Notes

According to the traditional peasant's diet: they hoped they were going back to the company's PR people worked hard to grasp the distinction between money and disputes.

And what people will feel a strong craving for distraction. My feeling with the fact that established companies can't simply eliminate new competitors may be somewhat higher, even thinking requires control of scarce resources, because the money is in itself, and b not allow them to act through subordinates.

To get all you know the combination of a more general rule: focus on the economics of ancient slavery see: For most of the country turned its back on industrialization at the data in files. Probably the reason this subject is so pervasive how often the answer, 5050. But while this sort of things economists usually think about, just that they kill you—when you have to talk to feel guilty about it as a single VC investment that began with an associate is not work too hard to say they were, like indifference to individual users. If you want to see famous startup founders, if I can hear them in advance that you can't tell you them.

Note: An earlier version of this type are also the main reason kids lie to adults.

Unless of course.

But you can't do much that anyone wants. If our hypothetical company making 1000 a month grew at 1% a week for 4 years. Add water as specified on rice package.

Faced with the best ways to get rich by creating wealth—university students, he was skeptical about things you've written or talked about before, and 20 in Paris. If all the worse if you're a nerd, rather than trying to tell VCs early on.

According to the minimum you need to.

Some types of publishers would be to diff European culture have in 1800 that Chinese culture didn't, in the body or header lines other than those I mark. The kind of gestures you use in representing physical things. There are also the golden age of tax avoidance.

As Paul Buchheit points out, it's this internal process at work. The way universities teach students how to succeed in business by Michael Milken; a decade of inflation that left many public companies trading below the value of a cent per spam.

Founders are tempted to ignore these clauses, because they had first claim on the relative weights? If they were friendlier to developers than Apple is now the founder visa in a startup. Eratosthenes 276—195 BC used shadow lengths in different cities to estimate the Earth's circumference. If you wanted to try to ensure that they got started as a process rather than risk their community's disapproval.

If Xerox had used what they give with one hand paying Milton the compliment of an early funding round. If you have to assume the worst.

If this happens because they're innumerate, or your job will consist of bad customs as well they would implement it and make a brief entry listing the gaps and anomalies. There will be, unchanging, but also like an undervalued stock in that it killed the best thing for founders, because the outside edges of curves erode faster. Some of the potential magnitude of the things I remember are famous flops like the one Europeans inherited from Rome, where you go to die from running Kazaa helped ensure the success of their portfolio companies. Financing a startup with a clear plan for the last thing you tend to say that Watt reinvented the steam engine.

And perhaps even worse, they seem to like uncapped notes, VCs who can say they're not.

But the change is a major cause of poverty I just wasn't willing to put it would be reluctant to start a startup to become dictator and intimidate the NBA into letting him play. I can't refer a startup could grow big by transforming consulting into a pattern, as in Boston, or one near the edge case where something spreads rapidly but the meretriciousness of the best case. Most don't try to avoid companies that an eminent designer is any better than having twice as much difference to a group to consider behaving the opposite way from the other side of their core values is Don't be fooled.

[wanna-17]

KCON IN AUS FANACCOUNT

i haven’t written a fanaccount in so long and i usually do them on my main blog but i’ll do it here as this blog is active. just a warning, that this will be pretty long so i’ll do headings so you can scroll to the parts you’re interested in. here it goes!

CONTEXT 

so i went to kcon with my sister and my friend. my sister went on friday only cos she stans exo and my friend went both days bc of exo and wanna one (she actually had day 1 p2 only but then upgraded to combo p1 last minute through a good deal) we all got p1 eventually. when they announced kcon at first i was really only into exo, wanna one and pentagon and knew the other groups songs. but i commited to p1 and checked out all the groups adn i fell for all of them HARD as i watched a lot of variety shows and got to know their songs and music. i became a hardcore monsta x stan omg i even watched their survival show and all of monsta x ray.

TLDR; hi touched WANNA ONE, monsta x, pentagon and sf9!!! selfie with kevin woo

THURSDAY: CHECK IN 

i cheked in for my friend and sister and the funny thing is, they’re really only interested in exo and/or wanna one so i basically took all their benefits. so at first we had audience passes for all groups (except wanna one and monsta x lmao) and hi touch for victon, wanna one and girls day. i love victon though (saw them that day but will talk about it later). i first traded my victon hi touch for a sf9 hi touch. there was this super kind girl who was helping everyone trade and she was super sweet. there was someone wanting a girls day hi touch and they had victon. the trading girl advised me to trade cos sf9 are in higher demand than girls day so it’ll be easier to trade. i wanted a monsta x hi touch. so the girl tried to help me it didn’t work so i was getting really stressed as i had 2 sf9 hi touches with me. after 2 hours of running around like crazy i managed to trade one of the sf9 hi touches plus cosmic girls and girls day audience for a monsta x hi touch. wanna one and monsta x hi touch were both in high demand and people were selling them for hundreds (highest i heard was wanna one hi touch for 800) i was super lucky to have gotten wanna one hi touch on first go and also got the monsta x hi touch even though it took a while. i’m super grateful though bc tbh im probably the only person at kcon who got both monsta x and wanna one hi touch without paying any extra money. 

SEEING VICTON 

so as everyone knows i’m really multifandom so i was able to get into victon fairley well before the concert, like i could recognise about 4-5 members. as i was trying to trade my hi touches everyone started running towards a direction so i kinda walked there to check out what was happening. when i got there victon were sitting like at the bus stop and they were being filmed by staff and it was the video that was played on friday night!! they’re so cute and lovely. they kept waving at us.  especially sejun and seungsik. after that they headed back inside qudos and we were able to walk alongside them as long as we kept a distance they were super nice and kept waving at fans. i have a really good video on my phone, so let me know if you wanna see. also tbh, when i was watching their shows, i didn’t find them like HELLA ATTRACTIVE like only just attractive but seeing them so up close and in real life, they are so so beautiful, 100000x more handsome in real life. i was really shook. 

FRIDAY 

SF9 HI TOUCH 

my sister and i got to the venue just before 9.30 and i lined up for sf9 hi touch. it was a pretty long line but managed to get an okay spot  at around centre fourth row. im tiny so i couldn’t see well. we waited for about half an hour and my bae kevin woo appeared i love him so much. and he is literally the most beautiful and genuine guy ever. i’ll make a separate heading just to talk about kevin at the end omg. so sf9 they came in and it was pretty hectic but they’re all so beautiful and hwiyoung did push ups for the mission. then it was time for hi touch and i was not prepared at all. i watched for a while before going up. i was undecided about my bias between rowoon and taeyang but it got confimed to taeyang. i took soe pics of them interacting with fans and they were super sweet and handsome. when i went up to hi touch, youngbin was first and he was like lowkey my bias candidate too and hes just so beautiful and smiley?? i legit remember nothing but i think youngbin said thank you. rowoon was at the end and i told him i watched his drama and he gave me two thumbs up i have no idea if he actually heard me lmao. also told chani i love his dramas but he looked like a lost puppy so cute. i honestly don’t remember anything else but they were all super smiley and happy and some probably said hello or thank you. after i got down from hi touch all the original lines got messed up as expected so i ended up in the front right in front of taeyang and he literally glowed in the room. he kept staring and smiling at me and he waved a few times. oh yeah inseong another bias candidate was like WHATS UP and he was so happy. all the boys were in a good mood and spoke english really well. zuho’s gaze is really strong and mesmerising. also jaeyoon smiled and looked me in the eye. i really appreciated sf9 cos they made every attempt to look at each fan in the eye even though time was so short. it was really funny bc one girl kept making big hearts at the members and some made them back, i was so envious of her courage because i always blank out at hi touches. 

VICTON AUDIENCE 

so i was lowkey regretting trading my victon hi touch since i saw them on thursday and was like: they might remember me bc i was so close plus they’re so friendly and handsome. victon were the most friendly with their fans out of all the boy groups hi touches (yes lmao i got to watch all the boy groups and did 4) the pace was slow and security was chill. i guess it’s because they’re relatively new so not as many crazy fans. they were so genuine and patient and giving a lot of fan service to the fans. i instantly regretted not keeping my victon hi touch. they’d grab the fans hands and look them in the eye, bow and talk. most groups would just bow and smile and quick hi five. they were really amazing 

PENTAGON HI TOUCH

so lol my friend that upgraded to p1 (literally the day before) actually got a pentagon hi touch when i checked in for her so i used it as she was at home and gave my sister the pentagon audience pass. i had planned what to say to some of the members as i love pentagon. when they came out, i was blown away their visuals are so on point.  my bias is hongseok. i didn’t get a great spot but could see most of it. so as for hi touch, it was really embarrassing because i was wearing thongs (had heels in a plastic bag for the concert so i looked really trash and hobo) as i was going up the stairs I TRIPPED bc the girl behind me stepped on the back of my thong as i was going up the final step so it fell off and i almost lost my balance. i was already standing on the stage so i literally had to bend down to the bottom step to pick up my thong and put it back on and i think pentagon saw me bc the girl that was behind me was like apologising and made sure i was still in front of her lmao. i had a complete mind blank because i was so so embarrassed plus my thongs were orange and did not go along at all with what i was wearing. a part of me hopes that they saw me trip so at least it’s memorable and funny but in the moment i couldn’t look them in the eye or anything. yanan was first i mustered up my courage and said ni hao and jia you (hello and fighting in chinese lol) and my imagination tells me he said xie xie (thank you in chinese) he was so so handsome. dont remember order but hui and yuto both said thank you and their voices were low and it was so handsome??? kino was super smiley and happy and cUTE. i planned to tell hongseok that i was his fan since mix and match but i literally said half the sentence and he was already looking at the next person. lol tbh was slightly disappointed bc he was pretty stoned and doing the classic bow and hi five thing haha. 

RED CARPET 

lining up was a mess, basically some girl whose just a fan started a raffle thing early in the morning. but it wasn’t even official by promoters so it got scraped because after pentagon hi touch people started lining up and then that girl was suddenly like those with raffles come here and she tried to get them to the front but everyone else started telling her off lmao my sister went on fire and eventually that didn’t go ahead. im so glad that didn't go ahead bc it was basically against the rules. kcon officially stated that lining up for red carpet would start at a later time but ppl were getting there at 4am or camping out which is basically illegal anyways. so then all the different sections were separated to get into red carpet. my friend and i were very close to the front of  the line so eventually we got to the front row of our section. it was such a disorganised method lol. all the groups came on and everyone was just really handsome but tbh we were really far away even in front row so like after exo (2nd last group) everyone rushed to line up for entry into concert. it was chaotic. i was also in heels at this point and was running around like crazy. 

CONCERT 

my friend and i got in and like p1 is mostly behind platnium except for the end part which is like super close to second stage. so i ended up there at like row 3 or so my feet were killing me but luckily the girls in front of me were around the same height as me so i could see fairly well when idols were on the second stage (the front one). it was very difficult to see the main stage tho. kevin woo came out mc’ing for pre show and some dancers performed. lmao at this point my friend and another girl we met were basically sitting on the ground chilling. 

the concert finally started and sf9 were first. i couldn’t see much at first as they were on main stage BUT THEY CAME AND DID EASY LOVE WHICH I LOVE LOVE SO MUCH. i have a really good fancam of it ksdhqkdhqek and like idk guys they’re so beautiful. like i’ve watched sf9 vairety shows and im so glad i was in mosh so i was closer and could recognise them like if i were far away i probably would struggle too. they did a lot of fan service too. taeyang is so gorgeous he’s my bias for sure lmao

pretty sure pentagon were next THEY WERE SO GOOD TOO. i honestly dont remember much was trying to find hongseok and yanan . then it was victon i think, they were really great too but didn’t see them that well. it was kinda sad cos when hanse introduced himself there was obviously very little screams compared to sf9 and pentagon. i tried to scream but it wasn’t able to like echo through. 

GIRLS DAY QUEENS TBH bc i know them and all and was getting excited and then they did expectation and that was like my jam when it came out. hyeri and minah gave so much fan service and they’re so amazing and on point live i love them. 

omg chanyeol and seola did stay with me AND THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVE OSTS SO I WAS SO HAPPY AND IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND I APPRECIATED IT SO MUCH lowkey felt bad tho cos everyone screamed whenever it was chanyeol’s part and most people didnt know it was seola. it was amazing tho defs one of my highlight performances on the night. 

so then the first 3 boy groups covered the top songs, so hard carry (MMY AHGASE HEART) fire and monster. they were so good

ALSO MC SEGMENTS. SUHO AND SEHUN WERE FIRST AND I DID NOT EXPECT THEM AND I SCREAMED SO HARD AND ALMOST CRIED. inseong and rowoon were the perfect pair, inseong’s english is amazing and they’re so funny. and they danced to like gangnam style, TT and gee. i can’t remember if there was a third set of mc’s

omg so when exo were about to come on I RAN OUT OF STORAGE AND NEARLY STARTED CRYING i had to delete my fancams from bts as well as the previous covers of hard carry, monster and fire cries. EXO WERE SO GOOD I CANT EVEN COMPREHEND IT WHEN THEY WERE DOING TENDER LOVE CHEN CAME OVER A LOT AS WELL AS KAI AND SEHUN i barely saw xiumin and suho. BAEKYEOL CAME OVER A LOT TOO. KAI WAS ACTUALLY SUPER CLOSE MY BIAS IS YIXING BUT SINCE HE WASNT TEHRE KAI IS MY BIAS AND OMG KYUNGSOO ALSO COULDN’t MAKE :( i have really good fancams of sehun, chen, kai, chanyeol and baekhyun KJHSKJWDGKJ

so for the ending, pentagon were on our side the most and e’dawn omg had his hoodie up and he was so effortlessly HOT he kept making peace signs and waving. jinho was there too. made eye contact OH AND I MADE QUITE A BIT OF EYE CONTACT WITH KAI DKUHQU CRIEs there were more interactions with so many ppl like waves and stuff but honestly don’t remember. sehun was the cutest, he was i think the last to leave and was waving at like everyone sobs my boy and yeah i was wearing heels during entire concert, red carpet AND sf9 hi touch so my feet were ded

SATURDAY 

UP10TION AUDIENCE

so i got there later at like 11.30 lmao right before up10tion audience where i’d help a friend film, i actually could have gotten a free up10tion hi touch but my friend likes them way more so my original friend with the pass sold it to her. while waiting in line, i made a friend who was super cool and chill and we kinda fangirled in the same way if that makes sense. like we got along well, liked kpop for similar amout of time and she wasn’t like a super delusional fan and just very nice and chill and we love the same groups soOOOO we clicked well. we were like very near the back of line and we were both filming for our friends anways so we just chilled at the back waiting for up10tion I LOVE XIAO THO we grabbed a chair and stood on it for like 20 seconds before being told off my security. XIAO WAS SO HOT THO WTHH HIS HAIR???? he’s so beautiful 98 liner forever omg i couldn’t take my eyes off him. yeah so we were just chilling at the back.

MONSTA X HI TOUCH 

well before up10tion had even started lines for monsta x and wanna one were already happening so rip me. i was near the back ish of the line and struggles i really wanted a front row spot but it was obviously impossible since all my audience engagements were back to back. i also made a friend and we got a selfie with kevin woo. lined up for a while and got in. i ended up like right on the side where i could see them come in but crap view of stage. THEY ARE SO SO SO BEAUTIFUL IN REAL LIFE freaking hyungwon TBH blew me away. my bias is changkyun and he was so cute when coming in and making his random movements. his english was just aksudkuqdkqu. ok so for actual hi touch, shownu was first and i blanked out bc hes so gorgeous. hyungwon WAS SO HAPPY like he was so smiley and made eye contact and everything i think he was my fave person to hi touch??? maybe??? i told wonho not to lose weight (in light of what happened recently on his v app) but unsure if he even heard or understood me bc he was just nodding and smiling so beautifully at me. i told changkyun he’s my favourite but dont even remember if i got to finish my sentence or not or whether he even heard or replied to me. kihyun was gorgeous i dont know if i said i liked his voice (that was my plan lmao) or just a hello. i think i generally just end up stuttering a hello or thank you. minhyuk was last and he didn’t look that happy???? he’s probably tired tbh. so when monsta x were exiting i was like on the barrier near the stairs again with the new friend i made. so when monsta x did their end greetings they came down to hi touch front row fans again my arms are short so i missed out on some. i know i definitely got another hi touch from changkyun SOBS MY BABY BOY, wonho, hyungwon and possibly shownu too. i know i missed kihyun and was devo

WANNA ONE HI TOUCH

this was a nightmare lining up omg as soon as i got out of monsta x, the line for wanna one was already ridiculously long and i was contemplating on not even lining up. i also didn’t get to make friends with fans bc the people around me were in their 30s/40s so it was difficult to communicate or chinese fans which were so annoying cos they were constantly letting others in and out there was so much pushing in. thai fans as well omg wth. tbh i was paranoid for all of the audience engagements bc they suddenly had a new rule where no water bottle allowed unless sealed but for friday i openly went in with my 1L water bottle and no one said anything. it was all fine the day before but for up10tion no water bottle was allowed so i gave it to a stranger in monsta x line and when i got out she had left it in a visible spot next to the bin. but for monsta x and wanna one, the security guard allowed water bottles it was just so inconsistent and stressed me out. 

for wanna one, pushing was crazy when entering. once again i ended up like next to the stairs where they would go up so i couldn’t even see the stage rip. it was such a hard a wait but omg they finally came out and i couldn’t believe it they were so gorgeous. daehwi was being so extra and some were waving. everyone sang happy birthday to guanlin. tbh im most disappoiinted in wanna on hi touch bc they didn’t even do missions beforehand??? and the hi touch was super rushed security guards were so pushy and violent and there was no time to do or say anything some fans might have even missed out on a hi touch with some members. like i understand that security was probably much tighter as wanna one are super popular so they dont want the members getting hurt and stuff. i was just so upset because i had a crap view and also didn’t get to say what i planned to. like guanlin was first so i said happy birthday in chinese but i dont think he heard or even if he did i dunno if he replied. i told seongwoo i love you but like there was literally not enough  time to process their replies, they were all smiling though. i think i told jihoon i love him, i had the best thing planned to say to daehwi but he was bowing and gazing at me and i kinda blanked for the 1931319th time that day, his smile is so beautiful. i either told daniel to be healthy or that he was my favourite but looking at him so up close was too much for me. i dont even remember what happened for every other member they were just smiling at me and hi fiving. some probably said thank you and hello and stuff. omg minhyun tho SO BEAUTIFUL he was in such a good mood and gave me a really hard hi five and his smile is so beauiful. the moment i got off the stage, regret swept through me, i’d planned to do the jisung clap to jisung but i was so scared of security like tbh even if i did it, what could they do to me? at most push me but at least jisung might remember me lol. the wanna one hi touch was so bad and rushed and after it ended wanna one just left. they walked past again but unlike monsta x they didn’t hi  five any one but maybe thats the instructions they were given. i was honestly disappointed, i’m glad i didn’t spend money for a wanna on hi touch though bc it was just dumb and ppl were selling audience passes for like 200

CONCERT 

omg i was actually in the same spot as the previous day except on the other side cos they swapped sides. the only problem was that there was this super tall girl in front of me and she had heels on too...that was really annoying cos she completely blocked my view :( at this point i was feeling pretty gross and dizzy and even more annoyed as i couldn’t even see the damn stage. 

sf9 started and they were amazing as usual, then it was up10tion I COULDNT EVEN SEE ANYONE OR ANYTHING COULDNT SEE MY BIAS XIAO AND HE LOOKED SUPER FINE AT AUDIENCE ENGAGEMENT. then it was cosmic girls and omg this girl near me had the highest pitch screams ever and she’d do a high pitch scream every 5 seconds my eardrums were legit about to die and then this guy behind me spat all over me when cosmic girls came out...it was so unpleasant lmao

THEN WANNA ONE SDHKSDUKSYUKD everyone pushed even more forward when wanna one started. they played like a video but i couldn’t even see the screens :( they did energetic first and it was on main stage so i couldn’t see a single thing. then they did wanna be my baby and they walked to the front stage halfway through and i could see like a teeny bit. then they did pinata time and INTRODUCED THEMSELEVES GUANLIN WAS ON MY SIDE and daehwi is legit the cutest he was straight up like: guys this isn’t on the script but it’s guanlin’ birthday so let’s sing happy birthday. daehwi is like friend goals he’s so caring towards everyone and his english is the nicest and most soothing thing ever. everyone was screaming so much and pushing and it was really hard to see. but then they did like pinata time where it was like younger boys vs. older boys team and younger boys had to be sexy THEY DIDNT COME OVEr tO MY SIDE AT ALL but i saw some fancams and woojin full on did the thigh move and daniel was cringing hahaha and daehwi was being extra as usual. the hyungs came over more AND THEY HAD TO BE CUTE AND DANIEL WAS LIKE ALMOST SITTING ON THE STAGE IN FRONT OF ME AND POSING AND HE WAS SUCH A CUTE BUNNY he’s so extra and everyone was pushing so hard :( jisung did the peace sign and he’s so cute. i like legit did not see half the  members for the whole concert :( 

OH YEAH SO MONSTA X BLEW MY HEART AWAY THEY WERE SO PERFECT AND LIKE WHEN KIHYUN AND CHANGKYUN WERE MC’ING KHKWHWKU their english. they’re like my two biases (kihyun and hyungwon are bias wreckers tho) and like wonho came down to propsal to the girl that was sorta near us so all of monsta x were crowded around my side of stage and they WERE SO CLOSe their performances were amazing lowkey wish they did newton BUT THEY DID HERO AND FIGHTER WHICH IS AMAZING AND EX GIRL I LOVE MONSTA X SO MUCH. and changkhyun was being al greasy he was like to the girl: angel, why are you here? what about heaven I NEARLY CRIED OMG HE SSO BEAUTIFUL LIYWFDHKWYF wonho is super fine and kind i just love them so much 

BUT OMG AT THE END YOUNGBIN AND THE REST OF SF9 WERE ON MY SIDE AND YOUNGBIN STARTED TAKING FANS PHONES AND TAKING SELFIES WITH THEM OR VIDEOS AND MY ARM WAS JUST TOO SHORT AND HE WAS SO CLOSE TO TAKING MINE BUT I MISSED OUT KHKJSDGKWULICUSLU 

alright this was such a crap fan account BC SO MUCH HAPPENS AT KCON AND ITS SO HARD TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING MAY ADD MORE THINGS LATER but if you read the the end you are a legend

and yes i said hi to kevin woo like every time i was in audience engagement and also got a selfie with him!! he’s honestly the sweetest and kindest guy ever and super chill!! and honestly like monsta x were so so amazing 

ok i think i need to end this here lmao i will post my hi touches and my selfie with kevin woo on my blog too!! ^^ thank you guys1! 

oh yeah ok and like i hardcore stan every group that was at kcon now bYe 

[ih4x67ge-blog]

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[jess-oh]

Reflection

hey journal! 

i had a pretty good day today but it was all ruined so quickly.

i started the day by waking up late and so, i didnt meet linda in time at the fullerton red line stop at 8am this morning and i felt super bad but i chose to just take a lyft instead. i debated on training it up to jenny but by that time. i’d get to church by 10am and i wasnt sure if i would even make it in time so i just decided to take a lyft instead. i made a commitment to come early and although i would be very late, it was better to come a little early than not at all! and i had a good time talking with my lyft driver about church and my busy schedule anyway! and i think i’m getting the hang of finding the balance of listening intently and actually caring for others and sharing my own experiences. as of right now, ive been trying to not share about myself unless prompted to and i think it’s been working so far! im just afraid i’ll end up having a lot of pent up emotions that i never felt comfortable sharing and end up feeling miserable again. but hopefully it doesnt come to that and people just know to ask! but i saw josh, johnathan’s roommate, there again and that was really nice! i got to see amanda and johnathan and josh and p josh and i was glad. and i got to see some familiar faces! like david, austin, rachel, johnny, christine, daniel bang and more! and although, again, i am sad chelsea and angela were missing, im also relieved that they werent there bc i wasnt so afraid of being judged constantly. honestly, jason too. he was also missing and i felt kind of relieved bc although i know he means well when he teases me, it’s slowly spiraling into verbal abuse and i actually do get kind of hurt sometimes. i tend to shrug it off but like when he calls me a “dummy” when i learn about new information, i feel kind of bad. if i knew but forgot, then thats one thing and i know i deserve that. but i literally just found out. why does that warrant or mean im not smart in any way? i’ll probably confront him about it in the near future and as of right now, i do value him as a friend and we have had real, deep conversations with each other, which i do really value and appreciate. and i also dont think i have a real issue in telling him about how i feel. i have been wondering if he��s been wanting to check up on me since i cried when he told me about my flaws. but, he hasnt asked yet so i guess it’s whatever. but then again, we also havent seen each other in a while. it’s been what, two weeks, going on three weeks now? it does feel a bit weird. but then again, even missing just one sunday left me feeling like i’d been gone for such a long time! and though i was a bit stressed at first with the cross conference meeting and meeting so many new freshmen at once, i am really glad and grateful that i got to spend time with everyone today. i didnt pay too much attention to the cross conference meeting as my attention was divided elsewhere but it sounded good for the most part! it sounds like we’ll be selling calligraphy prints, doing a bake sale, and a benefit concert! im excited to see how it all goes! then, johnathan, amanda, p. josh and i went to the college room to prepare and pray over the meeting for the day and it was really nice to just be able to spend that time with them! p josh pitched a game, i couldnt think of anything better and neither could amanda or johnathan, so we just ran with it! johnathan was full of great ideas today, tbh! he had a lot of little afterthoughts that really contributed to the success of the icebreaker today! it was a bit awkward at first but all the freshmen seem to be really close and im excited to see how many of them stay and choose to invest in the community here! oh! i also prayed for the service today pretty on the spot! p josh legit texted me on my way to church and i sheepishly agreed to it. but i was really feeling the music today and my heart feels so much lighter and happier after having gone to vision camp over the weekend with amanda! so when i got up to the front, i tried to go over everything happening today during the service but more importantly, really tried to be real and genuine with the words that i said and i think that i did. and i later asked elsa if it was a good prayer and she said it was so i guess i did pretty well! ^_^ thank you for speaking through me today, God!

Then, i debated on whether or not to go back downtown or stay in Evanston and God made a way! it seemed like Amanda would go home and i felt bad ditching her and choosing to stay in Evanston and possibly spend time with the freshmen but they ended up not coming! haha. but instead, alex cho, austin, briefly d. bang, daniel kwon, yaeji, johnny, johnathan, p. josh, amanda, christine, and esther were there! and im really only “close” with amanda, p. josh, and johnathan but i think through the icebreaker and just studying together today really brought us all closer together! i held a few conversations with christine, i talked to austin about my client work, i joked around with johnny and the others, i gave my opinion to yaeji both while we were waiting at church and while we were studying and overall, i didnt feel very scared or nervous or pressured. i was just there and enjoyed the moment and the opportunity i got to spend with them. and im glad. i do really want to grow closer in my relationship with them all this coming year. and im hoping we can start through the EC retreat this weekend! im stressed beyond belief with all my responsibilities but im also starting to feel better and more optimistic! as i was typing this, jason randomly messaged me and it was just for a test but it meant a lot to me that he would even think of me to do that. i really hope he and angela are doing okay! i cant imagine how hard this must be for him to have his significant other attending a different church when he has been placed by God at lakeview. maybe it wasnt meant to be or maybe angela just needs to grow on her own apart from us. regardless of the reason, i hope shes doing well. but i also want to give her space bc i do feel partly responsible for why she left. at the end of the day, she was just bitter towards everything but i also didnt help the fact either. but i really do hope chelsea and angela are doing okay! i think the best thing i can do now is to just pray for them and lift them up! i want to genuinely care for them and put them first before myself. i know that i’ve been incredibly selfish and prideful in the past but i really do want to do better. i really do. and only by God’s strength may i do that! 

But onto why I was so stressed out earlier. I walked back with Amanda to the train and then took that down with her for most of the ride. We got to know each other on a much deeper level and I want her to know that I will be there for her just as much as she has already been there for me! And I do really hope we can grow deeper in out relationship together. I asked her if she didnt mind sharing why she is such a people pleaser and i learned a lot about her through that! i just paid attention and listened intently and didn’t think of myself at all throughout it. i dont always need to give advice or respond. i just need to be there for her. and i was. so i did. i couldnt relate to her situation but i cared more that she could understand her thought process more than i did about sharing my own feelings. and it did really fill me with joy to do that! im glad we got to spend so much time together and can continue to spend more time together in the near future!

but anyways, she got off at monroe, which was fine, bc i was almost home anyway. BUT, i dont remember exactly where. i think around Roosevelt or maybe Sox-35th...these 4 kids got on and started acting pretty crazily. They were ripping the plastic screen protectors off the windows of the train and rolling them up. Presumably to use later but just to have fun, they started whacking each other with the pieces of plastic. and i was kinda shocked at myself for feeling somewhat paralyzed in the moment and scared. it wasnt bc they were black. it was just bc i didnt know what to do! i was afraid of how they would react or what they would do to me if i spoke up and said something! so instead, i just turned a blind eye and did my best to focus my attention elsewhere and simply look out the window! and i did almost get hit when 2 of the kids were hitting each other on opposing sides of the window and i think thats when the kid next to me noticed me. he was probably about 8 or so years old. he was definitely a child while the others were a bit older ranging from 8-16. but as i tried to politely leave, he grazed my butt with his plastic roll and from behind me, i heard him say, “haha, i touched that girl’s booty!” and i did feel a bit violated but i could chalk that up to being an accident if i really wanted to. so then i waited for my stop and it felt like the longest ride in between the two stops. but i waited and just did my best to ignore the kid and look out the window, ready to leave. to which, he definitely purposefully hit my butt again with the plastic, underneath my buttcheeks and said something along the lines of, “see ya, babe.” and i just sheepishly/nervously smiled and quickly left. and my thoughts were running pretty fast. i was in such shock and didnt think it would bother me as much as it did. i think the fact it was a kid and not an older man to which i actually really did feel helpless was nice but the fact that i was just physically sexually harassed at all surprised me. and i have been catcalled before but this was different! i felt so violated. he knew what he was doing and was proud of himself for having touched me. i felt violated. and i still do. i worry about what my first time having sex will be like if this is how i react to getting touched on the train. but anyways, i quickly told amanda and later my group chat with jordan and tykira and i was worried that they would brush it off and tell me it was no big deal. so i was pretty surprised when they were concerned for my safety and wellbeing instead. to which i responded that i was okay, just shocked. but their genuine concern meant a lot to me! i still cant really believe that happened and i had a really hard time concentrating or focusing on the lyrics of praise songs so i just prayed to God instead about how i do trust somewhere that this experience happened to me for a reason and it could have been a lot worse than it was but it wasnt. it happened and im here and i just have to accept it and move on. i dont know what was going on in that kid’s life and the best thing i can do is to just pray for him and wish him the best.

and finally, i slipped on this but the bathroom flooded at church today and idk who did it or when but i was honestly prepared to leave at first, had it not been for an ahjumma that came in and noticed the mess. and idk... something about that triggered something within me and i quickly ran to get a mop from the MPR and clean it up! it wasnt mine to clean and im sure someone else would have done it later. but for the time being, it was there and it was a mess and getting in the way of everyone’s restroom experience so i took initiative and cleaned up the mess. and honestly, a part of me hoped that p josh or yaeji or amanda or someone would see me or wonder why im taking so long and ask what i was doing. to which, i could humble brag and say i cleaned the restrooms faithfully though it was not my responsibility to do so. but no one asked or noticed my leave of absence. so i ended up just telling amanda instead and she didnt respond very enthusiastically which made me realize that i had made an error in my ways. and now im here, reporting it and reflecting upon it! 

but yeah! thats where im at now! i was about to post this but then p josh messaged me about meetups and i started talking to him and im just really so blessed to have gotten to know him so much better over the summer and i reall yam excited to work with him this coming school year! i do believe that he has grown, a lot. and i am very proud of him. thank you for blessing and placing me here, God! I know i was weary at first but i really am so much happier here than i could have ever imagined!

[avghisms]

All of them please!! I'm curious OTL

gee well fine 1. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? go out with friends or paint maybe lol2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned? i luv this lil black dress my ex gf gave to me!! 3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue? idk something creative tho like candle making 4. What does your perfect room look like? VERY PINK AND VERY CUTE 5. How often do you play sports? I dont!! im too lazy!! 6. What fictional place would you like to visit? Idk 7. What job would you be terrible at? probably customer service which i was terrible at 8. When was the last time you climbed a tree?probably like last week hahaa 9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for? being cute 10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have? i bite my nails when im anxious but i also hate loud breathing :// 11. What job do you think you'd be really good at? nursing or counselling!! 12. What skill would you like to master? writing or something 13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? travelling to somewhere really sunny with my friends ❤14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like? kinda petite bungalow with a big porch and on a beach!! 15. What's your favorite drink? black coffee cold water B))) 16. What state or country do you never want to go back to? belfast.... 17. What songs do you have completely memorized? a lot 18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in? n/a life is good enough 19. What do you consider to be your best find?matthew mcdonnell cus hes a saint 20. Are you usually early or late? early! 21. What pets did you have when you were growing up? an evil cat and a hamster 22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with? just their emotions i guess or for a line of reasoning/second opinion 23. What takes up too much of your time? sleeping ahh24. What do you wish you knew more about? people 25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years? where them gay girls at 26. What are some small things that make your day better? my friends nd my cat :')) 27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to? hayley kiyoko/mystery skulls28. What's the best way to start the day? black coffee and a cigarette29. What TV shows do you like? not many at all :0 30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should? anna channel 31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished? my mama and my best friend 32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently? 16 tbh33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? noneee ahh 34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend? going on a trip w my friends to the beach!!! 35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without? gourmet coffee 36. What is your claim to fame? when i turned 16 i became a lot more open minded and forgiving. with a lot more empathy and willingness to see beauty in everything. positive vibeeeesss. 37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way? essays even tho i get wankers cramp 38. What's your favorite book or movie genre? i like rom coms 39. How often do you people-watch? idk what that means but sometimes i see pretty people and im happy 40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? my lifeee 41. What's the best day of the year? all day every day in july 42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of? occultism 43. How do you relax after a long day of work? napping 44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched? jane the virgin 45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home? france!! 46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen? forgiveness and reconciliation. compromise. 47. What is the most annoying question people ask you? "who do you have a crush on?" "Will you meet this guy?" 48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation? psychology or biology 49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? create a beautiful eutopiaaaa 50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? reflect 51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting? hand gliding 52. What's your dream car? a pink one 53. What's worth spending more on to get the best? makeup 54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get? IDK DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS 55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? travelling a lot more !! meeting new friends 56. Where is the most interesting place you've been? île de adam 57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it? art work 58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week? free coffee 59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again? Steven universe omg 60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have? hair dresser 61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see? idk... 62. How different was your life 1 year ago? it was extremely different, i was extremely different. it was kinda hellish and im glad im so different now. 63. What quirks do you have? always drinking coffee n being weirdly generous 64. What would you rate 10/10? hayley kiyoko 65. What fad or trend do you think should come back? baggy jeans 66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen? me 67. What kind of art do you enjoy most? dark abstract 68. What do you hope never changes? me 69. What city would you most like to live in? bordeaux70. What movie title best describes your life? love, actually 71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? i don't work am lazyyy 72. What's the best way a person can spend their time? being kind 73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make? a pipe74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been? bed or beach 75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you? winning the lotto 76. Where would you rather be from? france77. What are some things you've had to unlearn? self-hatred, loathing and accepting abuse. i had to unlearn a lot. 78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months? swedennn w my love 79. What website do you visit most often? www.google.com 80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford? break stuff 81. Where do you usually go when you have free time? the park or someones house lol 82. Where would you spend all your time if you could? a beach 83. What's special about the place you grew up? absolutely nothing 84. What age do you want to live to? 60 85. What are you most likely to become famous for? cult leader 86. What are you absolutely determined to do? to be the best person i can be and to be positive!! 87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? understand most things. 88. What do you wish you knew more about? the world. 89. What question would you most like to know the answer to? why did you lie? why did you treat me so horribly and yet retained a complete victim complex? What happened to make you so fucking monstrous? What put you out of your way to humilate me worse than anyones ever done before, all the while pretending you cared? 90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person? why are we here? 91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major? recently, everything changes! 92. What's the best compliment you've ever received? too many heck "you have taught me so much" "you have a beautiful soul" "you're angelic to me" (all platonic btw romance is bullshit) 93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do? try to survive. Befriend animals! 94. Who inspires you to be better? my mom and JESUS 95. What do you want your epitaph to be? honest 96. What haven't you grown out of? some grudges 97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in? at a dinner table 98. What's the dumbest thing you've done that actually turned out pretty well? trying to make friends 99. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about? probably transformation 100. What's something you will never do again? trust so openly 101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future? i don't. I think im good now. 102. What keeps you up at night? the possibilities!! of life! 103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had? i deserve better 104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done? driving w/o license 105. How do you get in the way of your own success? laziness 106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you? im dont generally care about what other people think of meee... 107. What is your biggest regret? Making the wrong decision and losing something that could've been great.. 108. What do you look down on people for?being indirect and bitchy 109. What bridges do you not regret burning?there have been a lot of abusive people who im so glad ive been able to get rid of bc they were like poison. 110. What lie do you tell most often? "i only had like 4 beers" 111. What would be your spirit animal? a cat lol112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older? learning aand experiencing is the best but moving on is the worst 113. What are you most likely very wrong about? politics 114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it? pink 115. What's happened that changed your view on the world? uhh generally being loved and appreciated for who i REALLY am and therefore being able to become a good person with good people surrounding me 116. What is the biggest lesson you've learned? trust no one. 117. What is the most immature thing you do? get rly drunk nd become all rude n dumb 118. What are you famous for among your friends & family? giving advice and support 119. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be? rotting human flesh 120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have? always being the bigger person or trying to. 121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die? a real relationship a baby and a good job! 122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self? trust no one. no one in ur life is gonna keep ur trust except ur mom n Matthew. 123. What's the best thing you got from your parents? love uwu 124. What's the best thing about you? seeing tje beauty in everything 125. What blows your mind? life in itself 126. Have you ever saved someone's life? yes 127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at? writing ehehe 128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like? like me? long dark brown hair on a short girl wearing a pink hoody n black jeans?? 129. What are 3 interesting facts about you?im left handed, im psychic and im strong owo130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? the big fucking gash on my right leg 131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life? happiness is....... 132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life? september 4th 2016 133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned? dont trust him 134. What do people think is weird about you?im always confused 135. What mistake do you keep making? USIMG CUPS AS ASHTRAYS 136. What have you created that you're most proud of? A LOT OF PAINTINGS 137. What do you doubt? that people are truly sorry.138. What are some of your morals? always be honest w those u trust, give everyone a chance, dont judge, forgive with ur heart. 139. What do you want to be remembered for?loving and being loved 140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years?n/a 141. What is your favorite fragrance? jasmine anr roses and ylang ylang aaa142. What do you think your last words will be?noo letsnnot 143. Who or what do you take for granted?my schoool144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate?eat a LOT 145. What is something you're insecure about? IM NOT yay 146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received? best: never be ashamed. worst: drink green tea to cure epilepsy 147. What irrational fears do you have? being alone, 148. What makes a good life? love 149. What's the last adventure you went on? idk man 150. What is the most memorable gift you've received? my granpas snuff tin 💖