#i hope all 3 fatal manipulation enjoyers like this

[speedgifposting]

something something happy pride month

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Close Friend Ep 6 fin: (Imagine You/KimmonCopter) - Fan gets a VR of his idol, they fall in love, but does it transfer to reality? A unique story and great casting of Kim & Cop into roles that stretched both actors. My favorite of the series and a good closer. Close Friend as a whole is so uneven I can’t recommend it, but individual episodes (3 MaxNat, 5 JimmyTommy, 6 KimCop) are okay.

Top Secret Together Ep 3 - no subs as yet but I still found it enjoyable. I like this series, it’s quiet. Sure, the only really unique touches are the office setting and the gay advice dads, but honestly I’LL TAKE IT. Of course my favorite couple is the hazer + freshie back at uni. What can I say? I’m a sucker for the old OLD tropes. (Should I just do a SOTUS+S rewatch this weekend to get it out of my system?) 

Y-Destiny Ep 9 - Look, I’m just not a fan of the rake archetype BUT my favorite combo for this is another player, and BL almost never does that. But ta da! Y-D wins with f-buds + high heat pulp (well I suppose this is university-set Cheewin). I don’t love honest-gay messy in a long haul series (Friendzone... shudder) but I don’t mind it in short form. So I think this may be my favorite installment in this series so far.

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 8 - *big fat sigh* I thought they were going to redeem Pi by having him be genuinely nice to Meen, but no it was all to do with a dumb pin. Even though he suffers from crazy stalking in this ep, I still don’t like Pi but I’m TOTALLY on his side. Is FUTS taking us on a light weight The Effect journey? Because at this juncture I think I’d prefer that. 

Nitiman Ep 4 - honestly it’s like Nitiman is vested in showing FOTS exactly what it’s doing wrong. Both shows introduced faen fatales this week. But Nitiman did theirs with a sympathetic character, genuine interest on both sides, bisexual confusion, and sweetness. In every way the opposite of (and superior to) FOTS. Even claiming, outing, and stalker characters are happening but treated differently. It’s like parallel universes. Not sure how I feel about the ending kiss though. Still, this is my favorite currently airing show. I look forward to @heretherebedork explaining to me my own feelings and why I want to forgive Bbomb the kiss but not Mork for anything. Since I’m evidently morally hypocritically confused. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 10 (BL subplot) - Taiwan is experiencing a C19 surge right now so this series will be delayed at least 20 days. 

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 3 - dropped with subs thank heavens, all the usual tropes when you pair grumpy + tsundere: challenges, bets, crashing into beds, veiled threats... oh my! Gay boys in stripped sweaters giving advice in cafes is my new favorite thing. It’s the BL version of the “bartender is my psyche” trope. Still finding the boss character creepy. About Hank Wang (plays Shi Lei) anyone else obsessed with his sanpaku eyes? Just me? Fair. Also he keeps reminding me of Pluem Purim, I have no idea why. Something in the mannerisms, I think. They don’t really look alike. (This show may also be delayed.)

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 8 - continues to be good, we now have 2 faen fatales, blackmail, worried friends, and the secret identity slowly devolving. Looks like we get at least two more episodes and could be as many as 12? Very much enjoying this show. 

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 3 (AKA 6) fin - it was fine, they always rush the ending a bit in Vietnamese BL. I found the first season much stronger than this second one over all. But since they aired in the same year and there’s only six total I feel like they should be judged as a whole. So I guess I’ll say, RECOMMENDED with serious pacing issues and some plot drag particularly in the second half. 

Gossip 

The cast of Until We Meet Again met together, ostensibly for their own amusement but speculation is that it has something to do with Between Us AKA Hemp Rope. 

Breaking News

Singto’s next starring role BL got announced Paint With Love. Between him and Ohm, they seem to be attempting to corner the market. I’m in favor. Singto plays Met, a wedding organizer, who hires Phap, a poor artist, to work on a wedding painting. Phap messes something up and ends up having to work for Med on a more permanent basis. Yet another office set BL from Thailand, following in Japan and Taiwan’s well suited footsteps... we hope. Phap is played by Tae (the original Forth in 2 Moons). No side dishes announced as yet. 

Pornographer Playback is airing, the third in the series from Japan (first 2 = The Pornographer AKA The Novelist & Mood Indigo). Not recommended unless you want non-BL gay cinema with high heat, and don’t mind the mess Japan always doles out to go with it. Such as: morally flexible characters, crass manipulation, gaslighting, cheating, seduction of a minor, so much smoking, het porn, and ambiguous, sad, or depressing endings. Part one of this final installment has dropped, part two is not yet available. No subs (even if they say they have them, they’re autiogen nonsense.) 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Things are looking dire. What will we do with our lives? 

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis is a series that looks at villains across various media in the hopes of coming to something of a consensus on the overall quality of the character. Are they performed well? Do they enrich the narrative? Are their motives fleshed out? Are they voiced by Tim Curry and thus a sex icon? 

There are a lot of important questions that I look into, but ultimately, Psycho Analysis boils down to asking one simple little question: How bad can a character be?

Thankfully, there’s one villain who decided to answer that question for me... in song form.

Psycho Analysis: The Once-ler

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Yeah, I’m finally talking about everyone’s favorite greedy bastard who, back in some of the darkest days of Tumblr history, ended up being the premier sexyman on the website. People were thirsting over this twiggy weirdo, acting as if he were God’s gift to women and shipping him with alternate versions of himself. Much like the movie he’s from, he is now incredibly hard to take seriously.

But hey, speaking of alternate versions of himself, I’m going to be covering him from the original book and the animated short film as well. Might as well just knock it all out of the park at once, right? Now let’s see how ba-a-a-ad this guy can be.

Motivation/Goals: The Once-ler is all about biggering. He’s making thneeds (things that everyone needs) and he is gonna stop at nothing to craft these things. Not even the power of the Lorax, Danny DeVito or otherwise, is going to stay his hand from getting that sweet, soft Truffula fluff to make his wares. This is ultimately a little unrealistic, at least for the Illumination version; if Danny DeVito asked me not to do something, I’d listen, no questions asked.

Performance: In the animated special, Bob Holt does double duty, as he is portraying both Once-ler and the title character. It works really well for what they’re going for, and the double casting is interesting because it highlights the ultimate role of the Lorax as the Once-ler’s conscience given form.

In the film, Ed Helms portrays the Once-ler, and he’s fine. He’s certainly better casting than Audrey, but that’s not particularly saying much considering that’s a non-singing Taylor Swift (when Cats is able to utilize Taylor Swift better than your musical, you know there’s trouble). I don’t know, Ed Helms is fun and all, but I’m just not sure his take on the Once-ler is all too compelling overall.

Final Fate: In the original book and the special, the Once-ler wins… but even he realizes it’s a terrible, pointless victory, and all he has achieved is ruin, his family leaving him, his business ultimately collapsing, and the environment permanently damaged. He’s left as a miserable, jaded hermit, broken by the bleak consequences his greedy actions have sown upon the world and only able to tell his story and pass on the last Truffula seed in the hopes that maybe, maybe someday the trees can regrow and the Lorax will return. The Illumination version follows this but then tacks on a happy ending  where the Lorax and Once-ler reunite because as we know ambiguity and bittersweet endings cannot exist in children’s films.

Best Scene: Obviously it’s the scene where he shakes his ass to seduce Jack Frost, in one of the greatest gay romances ever put to film.

Joking aside, it is undoubtedly his villain song. It has become such a meme, but real talk? “How Bad Can I Be” slaps. This is a really good song, probably too good for the movie but you know what, I’ll take it.

Best Quote: HOW BA-A-A-AD CAN I BE? Yes, I’m using a line from his villain song. Sue me.

Final Thoughts & Score: What can one really say about the movie version of the Once-ler that hasn’t already been run into the ground? Well, how about… He’s not too bad, honestly? Like, yes, he has next to nothing to do with his book counterpart and they really go way too far into trying to make a capitalist pig sympathetic… but the animated special from the 70s did that too. I think the Once-ler honestly works better when there is a dash of complexity to him and he isn’t just a simple-minded Captain Planet villain.

Of course, the issue here is that the 70s version took a simpler approach, kind of less is more. The 70s Once-ler brings up some valid points to the Lorax about his work, and the Lorax can’t help but agree that there’s no easy answer while also stressing that the environmental devastation is still really, really bad. It works, it feels complex, and it arguably helps the ultimate point that we need to protect the environment better than even the book did (and I love the book, don’t get me wrong, but its take on the Once-ler is a bit too simple for its own good; it almost runs into the Femme Fatale problem by being a bit too much of a strawman). The movie version has a bit too much going on, especially with his family. His family are much more blatantly evil, greedy, and manipulative, but they’re relegated to the background for much of the film and don’t effect things all that much. The whole narrative would have been infinitely stronger if they were the greater scope villains behind Once-ler and were who needed to be defeated and maybe taught a lesson, but instead they are ignored in favor of someone I’ll address very shortly.

All of this leaves movie Once-ler feeling extremely disjointed, but not irredeemably so. As I said before, his villain song is unironically awesome, and as lame as it is compared to the more haunting, contemplative ending of the book and the special, I’m not so much of a curmudgeon that I didn’t at least smile when he finally reconciled with the Lorax. Ultimately though, him being memed to death really didn’t help his case, but it means I’m not giving the movie version anything less than a 3/10. He might in fact be the best “so bad it’s good” villain ever, or at least up there. He’s just so undeniably enjoyable even if the narrative isn’t making him as complex as it thinks it is. The animated special version gets a 9/10, the book version is a 7/10, and the Once-ler’s family gets a 5/10 for being an interesting concept they sadly do little with, which will now be elaborated on as I follow up on the foreshadowing from the last paragraph...

Psycho Analysis: Aloysius O’Hare

Remember how I said the Once-ler’s family gets ignored in favor of someone else? Here he is, Aloysius O’Hare, one of the absolute lamest villains ever put to screen.

Motivation/Goals: He’s greedy. That’s it. I’m not kidding. He’s just a cartoonish caricature of a rich person, which still makes him a realistic portayal but also makes him boring as sin compared to the wacky dude with a big musical number about how bad he can be.

Performance: Rob Riggle does a decent job, but there’s really not much for him to work with here. This character is a cardboard cutout who exists to be as cartoonishly greedy and evil as possible with no nuance so the kids know who to root against and so that Once-ler doesn’t look bad in comparison.

Final Fate: Look, he’s a blatantly evil corporate villain in a kid’s movie about the environment. Of course he gets defeated and everyone turns on him. What’s especially funny though is that, on the brink of learning his lesson, he rejects any form of redemption and just goes whole hog on being a villain.

Best Scene: I will absolutely give him this: in the face of his ultimate defeat, after having the virtues of trees sung to him and the entire town turning on him, he for a moment contemplates turning over a new leaf… and then absolutely rejects the thought and instead decides being evil is just too much fun, at which point he tries to get everyone back on his side by seeing a funny little song about death while wavedashing. If more shitty villains did this, I don’t think there would be shitty villains.

Best Quote: LET IT DIE, LET IT DIE, LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIE! Yes I’m quoting a song again.

Final Thoughts & Score: Look, I’m not gonna mine words here: O’Hare sucks. Big time. He is a prime example of why The Lorax failed as an adaptation. In a story that is dealing with a moral grayness with no easy answers, O’Hare is just a big, blatant target, a dark shade of black in terms of black-and-white morality. He’s like a reject Captain Planet villain with Edna Mode’s haircut.

The movie would have been infinitely better if, instead of him, the Once-ler’s family were in control of the town, and they needed to learn the lesson about saving the trees instead of simply vanishing from the story. They were shown to be overbearing, manipulative, and greedy, and they had a much more personal connection with Once-ler being, you know, his actual family. The fact they abandon him and never really get any sort of comeuppance despite being perhaps the most evil people in the move, egging on Once-ler and taking full advantage of him, makes O’Hare all the more egregious, because there could have been some strong thematic elements that would have tied the film together and made it come off as much less preachy and more nuanced.

But we don’t live in a world where that happened, we live in a world where we got O’Hare. Aside from some genuine hilarity from him at the end, O’Hare really adds very little to the film. I gotta give him a 2/10, but I will say he’s a lot closer to a 3 than he is to a 1; there’s no denying his absolute rejection of learning a moral is absolutely hilarious. I love when villains do that. It’s just a shame those funny moments are wrapped up in something monumentally unimpressive.

[oh-boleyn]

katherine / infamy

words: 4880, one shot, language: english

anne / jane / katherine / catherine

TW: there are suicidal thoughts, slutshaming, victim guilt, minor ways of self harm, nightmares and some other things.

this turned to be a character study rather to any other thing but oh well, it's done

the commentary between scenes are things I got from internet about Katherine Howard.

Katherine Howard was just an attention seeker.

(…)

When they first arrived at the twenty-one century, Katherine Howard felt alone. It was a whole new world; one she didn’t have a clue of what was it about. Didn’t even have the advantage of knowing other women, except for Anna of Cleves, the only one she met during her short time as queen when they shared a dance, but nothing more.

The rest of them were just rumours while she was in court. Names nobody dared to say. Histories without faces, blurry memories. All of them carried themselves as queens. All of them except her, who was just a frightened nobody in the middle of five of the most powerful and celebre queens.

(…)

Katherine Howard was a silly flirt who actually did sleep around even after she’d married the king.

(…)

They had all been thrown into a small house. With thin walls, two bedrooms, loud queens and just one bathroom. She shared room with Anna of Cleves, this royal Germany queen who was the second divorcee, and Anne Boleyn.

A cousin she never really had the chance to meet, since Henry decapitated her when Katherine was still young. Anne Boleyn, her famous, notorious cousin, a mystery to this new world. Anne was perfect, smart, pretty, even her reincarnated version had the long dark brown hair and big curious eyes. She knew about politics, debate, could talk fluently in English and French.

In the new world, Anne Boleyn was an icon. A notorious woman who got beheaded because of her opinions and incapacity of keeping quiet was something admirable today, and everyone loved her, as the French court once did.

The opinion about Katherine was not the same. Not then, and not now. She was a traitor before, and now she was a naïve who couldn’t even save her own life. A foolish, provocative girl who warmed her way into the king’s bed, and other beds too. She didn’t have a legacy, didn’t left anything to be remembered.

(…)

Katherine Howard: Whore or Victim?

(…)

Money and finances were not something she was interested. She wasn’t good with numbers, Francis always said that. About how she was so lucky to be so pretty, or else nobody would want her as a secretary. With the years she had been discouraged to keep trying, so she just stopped.

Not every woman had been made to be good with it. Katherine considered herself more of a pretty face, rather than someone with a great intellect. It felt shallow, now more than ever. Her life was just like that, being a pretty face, smile, conceal emotions. She was raised by her step-grandmother to please. Emotion were not needed when trying to grant pleasure to someone else.

The other queens weren’t like her. And maybe that’s why they were so worried about making money or getting jobs.

The great salvation came by Catherine’s hand. Catherine Parr, not Aragon. Rewrite their histories, if everyone could make money out of it, why not them? It could be a way to reclaim what happened to them, set the record straight, be view as the real queens they were, not just six who banged the same guy.

(…)

Katherine Howard – The Material Girl?

(…)

“Catherine, almost moved into a nunnery, and then not.” Her voice sounded snob, trying to mock the other queen. “That could almost be really hard for you.” She concluded with a fake pout.

Her heart was beating faster every second. She was never good at arts.

Even when trying to please Manox, her first music teacher, he always wanted more. She could always be better, greater. It was never enough, no matter how high her voice went while singing, or how many times she practiced dancing, or how much her hand aches after playing one instrument for hours, she was not enough.

Not enough like the air in her lungs while performing. The rest of the group were natural, delivering their lines perfect, playing with the silences making it enjoyable and funny. But she wasn’t like that, she talked way too fast, pronounced words unintelligible and forgot that she had talk.

The musical, a fake competition, didn’t help her. It didn’t bring her release, or peace. Katherine felt always numb, there was no connection between what she was doing and her own story. Her past life just felt like a numb blurry dream.

(…)

Katherine Howard, a slut 17-year-old queen who was beheaded for being a slut!

(…)

It came to Katherine attention how much Catherine (of Aragon) hugged Catherine (Parr). They were usually together, helping or making each other’s hair and make-up. She knew Cathy was Catherine’s goddaughter, but the physical affection takes her by surprise anyway.

The idea of touch being something soft, delicate was so out of her range. Her father was bed-ridden and her mother died while she was young. After that everyone was rough. For the Duchess, touch was only a way of punishment. Katherine sometimes saw the ghost of bruises she would have when she didn’t behave like a lady, when her feelings were shown.

Touching was never something appreciated after that.

(…)

Manipulative, flirty seductress.

(…)

The show was doing well, so well that they bought a new house.

New is a way to say, because it’s old, really old. It needs to be fix, the stairs crack, it is too cold, and there are leaks in the bathroom. But it’s bigger, and each one of them get a room or something like that. Catherine Parr takes the basement, and Anne takes the attic. Anna decides to stay on the only bedroom that is on the first floor. And now Katherine is stuck between Aragon and Seymour.

The room feels impersonal, and Katherine is going crazy trying to make it feel more like her. She paints it, buys a carpet, a desk. When all of it fails, she starts pinning fanart to her wall, photos with Anne and Anna, tickets of plays and movies they attended. She is trying to make new memories but it doesn’t work, it feels like she is just pretending. As if she stole a life. It feels numb and impersonal.

An empty room could be a good metaphor for an empty brain. God knows she had never been bright.

(…)

The Tudors Season 3 episode guide says “As Henry presses for an end to his new marriage, a new sexual conquest emerges – young prostitute Katherine Howard”

(…)

“Kitty, I bought new chokers.” Anne says one day, entering her room.

Katherine doesn’t like buying new necklaces or chokers, maybe because she feels them dreadful. Still she wears them every day. The scar around her neck is a darker colour than her skin, resulting in a brownish tone to it. It looks grotesque. Internet, that magic source of information calls is a hypertrophic scar, thick and raised injured skin.

“Great.” She responds, smiling.

“I thought you might like the pink ones, after all you wear a lot of pink.” She started passing Katherine pieces of electric and baby pink fabric.

“And you wear a lot of green.”

“What can I say? It’s my brand.”

“Are you okay, Annie?” Katherine asks when she notices Anne does not have her usual energy.

“Yes, just Aragon getting on my nerves.” Boleyn sits on her bed. “I’m sure she hates me. It’s not news, we been knew for like, I don’t know, five hundred years. But I hoped it would change.”

“I’m sure she hates me too.”

“Why would you say that KitKat?” Anne frowns. “Did she say something to you?”

“No, but I’m sure she is not too fond of me. Mary wasn’t.”

The look in her cousin’s face does something to her stomach, twisting it. Anne loves her, and Kat knows she does. She uses pet names with her, and calls her Kit, or Kitty or variations of it. Anne tries to protect her. But Katherine knows she doesn’t deserve any of it. Why would she?

Even when she is trying her best, Katherine can’t love Anne back that easily. It doesn’t come natural to her. Giving her love to someone never resulted in anything good. Honestly, it resulted in death. She feels guilty about not reciprocating, but it’s the best way to keep the other queen safe.

“I love this pink.” She tries to change the conversation.

(…)

Michael Hirst describes her as a “Lolita figure”.

(…)

Not even in court, where nothing was private, and people would get into anyone’s problems, people had so much opinions. Nowadays, with social media and phones, everybody had a word. Parr said something about it, about Warhol and how we imposed the new “five minutes of fame”. Social media helped to convey that.

While she was dead, people made up their minds about her. It would be nice to say that they found her just to be someone trying their best, but for the most part it wasn’t. They described her as this femme fatale. A sexually active, young woman, who seduced a whole court.

Five hundred years later, she was still nothing more than a common harlot.

The movies, and TV shows helped with it. Always naked, disposed to just fuck. A toy. A possession. The king’s favourite flower.

Katherine couldn’t be really mad about it, because that was all about her. Even her solo was about how she was the ten among these three. Aragon was the faithful wife, Boleyn the witch who made England break the church, Seymour the one he truly loved, Cleves the great queen of the castle, Parr the feminist writer.

Katherine Howard was the pretty one.

There was no personality to it, just a pretty face that happened to be compared with real queens. Of course, she would never win.

(…)

A nymphomaniac.

(…)

The first time she doesn’t feel drugged or numb comes after a show.

They were just heading out, tired out of their minds. Katherine just felt tired, as always. With that voice in the back of her head telling her how she was weak for not giving more every performance.

A man took her by the wrist, and a wave came from it. Her whole-body getting tense. It comes from her wrist, all through her arm, to her shoulder, finally getting to her neck. And now she can’t breathe. His hand is still there, firm, while she is trembling.

It could have been hours, or minutes, or seconds, but her mind was panicking and racing. She couldn’t seem to hold on to a thought, instead everything became overwhelming, a dizzy feeling. Her body not responding her calls.

“Kitty, can you hear me?” A voice quietly talks. It must be Anne; she is the only one who calls her that.

“We should take her inside.” Another voice speaks. “It’s not safe here.”

“Outside air can help, Jane.” She starts focusing in what the queens are talking. “Kat?”

She manages to break the amount of nervous on her and starts breathing heavy, as if she just ran a marathon.

“I’m okay.”

She sounds raspy, more tired than before if it was even possible.

“Can we go home?”

Parr gives her a hand to take and stand up, but she refuses and decides to stand up by herself. Instead of going to Anna’s car as she would usually do, she heads to Aragon’s, sitting in the passenger seat, making sure to set distance between her and the other queen. Luckily nobody makes questions, and Parr rides with Cleves and Boleyn, so the car is not packed.

(…)

A girl whose only education was into how to please a man.

(…)

She didn’t think it was possible, but it gets worse.

Now, instead of feeling nothing, she feels too much. Way too many bad things. She feels something raw coming from inside of her. It’s so sad, it’s eating her from inside. Her limbs are so tired, but now she can’t sleep. There are nightmares keeping her awake.

It results that feeling was not good after all.

But at least, it makes her feel alive.

After a night full of nightmares, she would just go to the kitchen and serve herself, and usually Cathy Parr, a cup of coffee. If it wasn’t enough, another cup wouldn’t do any harm. She sometimes drank energy drinks if her first cup was not even of a little help, but tried not to rely on them. It was not healthy.

The rest of the queens didn’t bring up what happened, nor her new sleeping habits. Anne would shoot her concerned looks, but nothing outside that. No words.

She must not care. Katherine thought. She knows I’m Katherine Howard, too idiotic to even be sad.

She managed. Pretended to be happy, to have energy. To be oblivious.

(…)

A reckless fool.

(…)

“Jane, just stop it, okay?”

They were alone in the theatre, the rest of the queens were heading out to a bar, instead Seymour and Howard were going home. Katherine was just so tired after just two hours of sleep, and Jane simply didn’t liked bars as much as the rest of them.

“It’s cold, put on a coat or something more, you will catch a cold.” She tried to give the teenager her pink sweater, but all she got was rejection.

“Just don’t.” Katherine bitted her lip, but couldn’t help herself and snapped. “Stop acting as if I’m a child.”

“You are nineteen.” Jane stated.

“I am like five hundred years old.” There was bitterness in her voice. “Nobody cared about me being nineteen when the king beheaded me. They didn’t even care when I was younger, why now?”

“Because I care about you.” The blonde tried to look for Katherine’s eyes, but she was too focused on the ground.

“You shouldn’t.”

There were just too many connotations to what she was saying. She felt trapped inside her own mind, a mind that was useless. As long as she looked pretty, nobody should care about anything else. It was more than enough. Feelings were too complex and ended in tragedy, and whoever cared for her would have to see her downfall.

If she didn’t take them down with her.

After all, Thomas cared. Or so he said.

(…)

Cold, calculating and ambitious.

(…)

The nightmares would just not stop, even as much as she tried.

She would just wake up, agitated and breathless, with the images still going through her mind, even when her eyes were open looking to her bedroom celling.

Katherine tried all the things internet said about sleeping without nightmares. Don’t sleep on her stomach, drink something warm first, try to be warm. Nothing worked. It just got worse and worse, to a point were her still shaken up body would not response once she was awake, instead looking at dark figures that painted the walls in her room.

Internet calls it parasomnia, she calls it her brain just can’t seem to work properly.

It’s one night when after an episode she hears a knock on her door. Heavily moving aching muscles, she opens it, revealing Aragon with a bag of crackers.

“I heard you were having a nightmare.”

Katherine lets her in.

“Why the crackers?” She asks, while sitting back on her bed.

“They say that if you talk about a nightmare without eating something first, it will become true.”

She offers one to Katherine, who accepts.

“I am not sure it was a nightmare.” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it either.”

They fall into a not so comfortable silence.

“Why are you awake?” the teenager asks.

“Nights are a hard time for me. I can’t close my eyes without a memory appearing. Tonight, is Mary.”

“I remember things about her.”

“I do too. I still can remember when she was a baby, you should have seen her. Her hair was so soft, and her skin looked like porcelain. Like a doll, too perfect to be real.”

“I wasn’t even born when she was a baby.”

Aragon laughs unpredictable. “You got me there.” Her face turns darker. “I can’t wrap my head about the things she had done. What they say about her. Bloody Mary, a ghost story. She was just so kind before.”

“Life in court can change you.” Katherine establishes. “Those were other times; other things were allowed. Things people now would consider monstrous.”

“No, that is still no excuse.” Catherine smiled even with eyes full of tears. “I won’t keep you up any longer, there’s no need for it.”

“You can stay here.” Katherine spoke before thinking. “If both of us have problems sleeping, it might be good to be together.”

It becomes a thing, when they heard the other one was up, they would get a bag of crackers and go to the other room. Spending nights talking about meaningless things, trying to take their minds out of dark places.

Katherine discovers Aragon knows a lot of history, things that people have already lost, or that she never heard of. Spanish proverbs and idioms, details of her time as queen. It becomes their night time stories. Talking about the older queen’s past but never about the younger. There is something so appealing for Katherine about history, a curiosity she didn’t knew she had inside her.

It helps.

(…)

It is easy to see Katherine as a spoilt child, a child saying “I want, I want…” all the time and sticking out her bottom lip and sulking if she didn’t get her way.

(…)

Anna is objectively pretty. She doesn’t have the fine gestures of Aragon, or elegancy as Parr. She doesn’t have striking green eyes like Anne. But Anna is still attractive. Full lips, dark skin, and short hair. She chopped it off as soon as they landed to the modern times, and never let it long again.

Anna was also the only one who could remember her time as queen.

Still she doesn’t talk about it, she just ignores history all together. Cleves is great at support, noticing when they are tired and buying stuff for make them feel better.

They are friends, or so she thinks, still there is a lot that is out of the line. Things they never talk but all of them know. About her own past as queen, how Jane’s actions have led to Anne getting beheaded, about Parr’s implications with Elizabeth.

Katherine wonders if they had Googled her. If they have seen the show made about Henry. She is afraid because nobody talks about her truth, is either morbid retellings on how she was abused, on how they pimped her way into Henry’s arms, or about the teenage, spoiled brat she was.

Kat doesn’t think she is either of them. She is not just someone they used to climb their way into court, nor just a teenager who had everything she ever wanted.

Maybe she is something in the middle, constructed by pieces of it. Just pieces because she knows she is not whole; she is breaking beyond repair. Every day it passes it’s another piece, another fragment missing. A nightmare long forgotten; a night lost from her mind.

A rose without a thorn was unnatural after all.

(…)

No other wish but his.

(…)

Katherine realizes her costume is the smaller one, and not only talking about size.

She sometimes feels exposed, and wishes for pants or a better skirt, but the costume designer assured her it was better that way, to play the seductress and then surprise the audience with her real story.

Whore or victim, no in between.

At least she loved pink.

“Kitty, you ready?” Anne asked.

They were at a big studio, and their performance was going to be on TV. All the queens were so anxious the house was as loud as ever, even at night.

“I’m a little bit scared.” She admitted, punishing herself for admitting that.

“Don’t be, you do perfect every night, today is just one more day.”

Emotions fills her for a moment. And it’s not as usually the horrible, dreadful feeling, but rather a warm one.

“I love you Annie.”

Her heart is beating fast, fearing rejection by her cousin. Instead Boleyn hugs her, procuring not to squeeze her in any way she might panic.

“I love you even more Kitty.”

They stay for a while. It’s been hundreds of years since the last time someone hugged her and talked about love. But it felt real. A family bond that she never thought she could have again.

“Now, get prepared, you are going to kill it tonight.”

(…)

Had many characteristics of a juvenile delinquent, who was spoiled, fawned upon, and flattered.

(…)

Jane is the first one to start seeing a psychologist.

She has a survivor’s guilt, even when she was the one who died. But it was honest that she was also the one who came back. Katherine wants to help, but doesn’t know how. Dying is easier when you wish for it. When you leave no one behind.

“How was therapy?” Kat asks when Jane gets home after the first session.

“It’s good, I think. Talking about it was like releasing a breath I didn’t knew I was holding. I know there is still a lot to work on, but I feel like it is a good decision.” She smiles. Jane lets her hand in the table, offering it to the teenager without a word. She takes it. “Thanks for asking, Kitty.”

“Can you not call me that?” Katherine pleads, giving Jane’s hand a little squeeze. “Annie calls me that, and I like it being a thing with her.”

She knows it’s cold to just say that, but Anne has been the only one to call her that. From the moment they arrived, while everyone called her Katherine, for her cousin she was Kitty. It gave her a feeling of comfort, of belonging to a family. Boleyn was her family.

“No problem, we can look for another nickname.” Jane smiles. “I want to bake cookies, what do you think?”

(…)

Could this ‘whore in the bedroom’ really be a virgin?

(…)

“Are you okay, Catherine?” Kat asks.

The survivor was still in the kitchen, even when it was past midnight. Her face was slammed on the table, illuminated by the cold light of her notebook.

“Yes, just can’t seem to get this done.” She straightens her spine.

“What is it about?”

“Just about Spain history, and the colonies.”

“Can I read?”

“Yes. I will make tea.” Parr handles the computer to the fifth queen.

Catherine takes two mugs, and chooses peppermint tea for them both. When the water is hot, she serves it, and takes the sugar to the table.

“It is good, really.” Howard says.

“I can sense a “but”.” Catherine laughs.

“You are only taking one side; you should know how Spain sent a lot of people from the church on missions to re-educate the natives. Las misiones Jesuitas. Politics and religion were more connected than what this make it look like.”

“That’s… Very true. I didn’t know you were interested in history.”

Kat can feel her face getting redder and warmer, embarrassed.

“It’s great, if you ever want to work together, you know where to find me.”

Work. Work together.

The teenager is not sure about how to react.

(…)

If only she had been willing to put her pride and title aside, (…) she may have lost her title as queen but kept her head.

(…)

When she realizes how much her life had changed, it’s more than half a year since they arrived.

There is still something obscure, twitching inside of her. The voices of a million ghosts, and even more people now with their opinions.

Researching history with the first and the last queen helps her. She starts noticing the changes in the discourses, how things that could be empowering before now are just mere normal things. The idea of a part of history she missed is attractive, and she spends hours on Wikipedia and blogs before talking to Parr about trivia facts she finds of the years they were dead.

The house gets better by the time. Having it painted, changed the plumbing, renewed the stairs. It also gets better with them, slowly growing into a group, learning how to deal with each other.

It’s slow, but it gets better.

(…)

I have to conclude that Catherine was incredibly stupid and foolhardy.

(…)

Katherine decides to start therapy. Jane talks highly of how it affected her, how she resolved so many things about her past. And the youngest queen just wants that, to be liberated, to step out of her own shadow.

At first therapy was good, having a chance to talk about her feelings, about living with people who were totally strangers. Adapting to a new world. Having a cousin. It all comes easy, it’s just the way it is. It gives her a short feeling of release, of being liberated, but it always quickly vanishes.

Not everything can always be smooth sailing in her life.

“What is a child?” Her psychologist, a woman in her middle thirties asks.

“A child?”

“Yes, what do you consider a child?”

“A really young human, I guess.”

It’s a weird question, and she feels as if she was being interrogated. That is what exams must feel like.

“I can’t really remember a lot from my childhood.” Katherine starts. “It’s just things. My mother died when I was five. I loved dancing; my father let me study it. I was never good at important things, such as math or music.”

“Why you weren’t?”

“I’m not sure. Manox always told me how I wasn’t enough, how I should try harder and be better. Francis was also like that, telling me to be quiet, to please. My grandmother also was like that, wanted all of us, the ladies to be better.”

She waits, thinks how to continue.

“I think what I always wanted to do was to make them proud, to be always better. I wanted to be liked, just that. I thought that if I was better my father was not going to leave me in a place full of people I didn’t know.”

Katherine can feel herself thinking again, trying to put her thoughts into words once, and once again.

“Why do you do this to yourself, Katherine?” Her psychologist watches her straight to her eyes. “Why are you hiding things for me? You think, and think, and think again, trying to control what your saying, how you move, how you act. I can’t judge you, and I won’t. You need to be real here, or else therapy is not going to help.”

“When I was real, I died.” Tears are streaming down her face; a pout is there and she doesn’t want to look so much like a child, but she feels small.

“Were you real? Why did you love him?”

(…)

She must have had rocks in her head.

(…)

It takes time after that, to really open up.

It takes even more time to notice that a lot of her thoughts weren’t hers, but rather thoughts she had attached herself to. It becomes difficult to realize that she is made of other people’s opinions. That she is just a victim of an adult game. It doesn’t come easy, and when it comes, it breaks her.

It breaks her to the core, to a point she is not sure how to act because that’s all she has ever knew.

(…)

Katherine had been shameless. She had been deceitful. But that was all.

(…)

Anna is there when she gets back from one therapy session.

“How was it today?” Cleves asks.

“Was I just a child?” Katherine returns a question.

“Explain that, please.”

The queen who lived the longest makes the youngest sit on the couch.

“Was I just a child when I arrived to court?”

“You were. You were so young and knew so much about things I couldn’t even imagine.”

“I thought I was an adult.”

“That’s what older people want to make you believe to manipulate you. “You are wiser”, “Too mature for your age”, “You know better than others”.” Katherine is trembling, but that doesn’t stop Anna. “They made you believe you were ready so they didn’t have to live with their own guilt. But you are just a victim.”

The teenager starts crying, and Anna hugs her.

“I thought it was my fault.” She admits. “I thought it was me.”

(…)

There is so much that is not known about her that I am still thinking of all the ideas that people have suggested.

(…)

Dealing with trauma is not easy. Katherine slowly learns to manage. Sometimes is harder, when breathing exercises are too much for her panicking brain, or when nightmares can’t seem to stop. But she still gets out of them, learns not to blame herself.

She learns to be loved. Truly love. Not to fear emotions.

Katherine gets mad, and forgives, taking matters into her own hands. She learns to be young, to be carefree.

She learns to unlearn everything she knew, to question other people opinions about herself to the point she knows who she is, and can’t bring herself to care what an history book or some random person on internet has to say.

It’s hard, but she learns to own and embrace who she is.

[your-lady-star]

Revealing the Star: Triumphant Takumi

Takumi has got to be one of the most interesting, thought provoking, complex and well designed characters to come out of Fates. Much like many of the best characters in the game, Takumi is one that you need to invest your time into in order to truly understand him. Judging based on face value alone might put off a lot of people towards him. After all, he doesn’t exactly make the best first impression. But once you’re willing to look past it and give him the time to grow on you, you’ll find that there is a lot to unpack in him and that there is something truly depressing to his overall theme. And I find all that connects to his unfortunate title of being Fire Emblem Fates’

#1 most damaged character.

Once upon a time, I would have easily given that title to Camilla. There really is a lot of damage on her (if you want to see the full scoop, I recommend checking out Ghast Stations support science video on Camilla), but even with that, we see clear moments of respite and enjoyment in her life regardless of what she’s dealing with.

In the case of Takumi, however, there are no moments of respite or enjoyment.

Unlike Leo, whose inferiority complex only affects how he interacts with his siblings, Takumi’s is so severe it affects how he interacts with everything. It’s not just the sense of inadequacy within his family, it’s the sense that he just doesn’t belong in the world, that he won’t ever be able to make a name for himself regardless of what he does and that he simply isn’t capable of even trying.

In fact, after doing some research on this, I found that Takumi might be going through something even more dangerous. Not only is he dealing with an intense inferiority complex, but I’ve actually seen some signs of possible schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that affects the way one thinks, acts and behaves. And after looking through the signs one shows when suffering from it, I’ve seen that a lot of them are extremely similar to how Takumi acts in some moments through the games. His standoff attitude, the words and actions he does without wanting to, the belief that others are always talking about him behind his back and the fact that the archives label him as the character that has the worst nightmares all point to signs that Takumi might be suffering more than any of us initially thought.

And because none of the characters or the audience seems to be aware of this, it’s what’s caused so many to just assume Takumi to be just a jerk and just ignore him, which is only making the whole thing worse. Takumi already believes that no one loves him, so people avoiding him because they just think he’s rude and can’t be reasoned with will only allow him to sink further into his disease. People who are suffering from any form of mental illness need to be treated. Ignoring the problem in hopes that it will go away will only make it steadily worse. And with people like Takumi, you need to let them know that not only do you love them, but that you’re always there for them.

And, surprisingly, despite Takumi seeming to try and isolate himself from others in order to avoid getting hurt, he has managed to subconsciously surround himself with quite the large group of people who want to help him. And none more so than his  

2 loyal retainers.

Even though we don’t know much on the history between Takumi and his retainers or just how long they’ve been together, one thing has been made clear from watching the way these two interact with their lord: they help to bring out the best in him.

It seems like, more so than anyone, Oboro and Hinata know who the real Takumi is. They have seen what he’s like when he’s truly happy and not worrying about his presence to the world. And it seems like they want to make that side of him more well known. They want others to see the Takumi that is more caring, supportive and lighthearted. And even if they aren’t able to do so, they enjoy the time they spend with him and the connections they formed with him. And what I like most about their bond is how both of them bring out different sides to Takumi.

Hinata’s supports with him show him trying to get Takumi to lighten up and just enjoy his time, and throughout the whole ordeal, it’s not his enjoyment he’s focused on, it’s Takumi’s. How he turns out isn’t what’s important; what’s important is knowing that Takumi had fun during the whole thing and all his effort didn’t go to waste.

Oboro’s is the one I find more interesting, for one big reason. This support showed a new and vastly unseen part of Takumi. Rather than being the one doted on and needing comfort, he’s the one comforting someone else and helping to ease their pain. In this moment, Takumi realizes that he isn’t the only one dealing with deep mentally scarring issues and he puts aside his own pain for the sake of another. It’s what helps to make the bond feel genuine, and unlike a certain pairing in Awakening that demands that we treat it as canon despite them having less chemistry than a rock and a tree, Takumi and Oboro’s relationship seems believable and understandable.

And it’s not just their bond that he has to show for, there’s also the bond he shares with his

3 siblings.

Though, in all fairness, his bond with them isn’t the greatest.

Not to say that they don’t love or care for him, they definitely do and are trying their best to slowly help him, but there is one big obstacle that holds it back.

They’re not really all that good at expressing it.

Ryoma’s bad habit of preferring an easy short term solution, Hinoka being so determined to maintain her tomboy image that I’m pretty sure if she even glances at a dress she’ll explode, and Sakura being so timid and unsure of herself that I’m surprised she isn’t scared of her own shadow don’t really help much in that matter. And considering their complete focus on trying to get back Corrin; let’s just say that it doesn’t surprise me that, even after all these years, Takumi is still suffering.

His siblings have some serious faults in how they handle themselves that they really need to fix if they want to get Takumi any closer to feeling better.

Especially considering that I counted

4 times he fell victim to the world.

Having his mind manipulated by both Anankos and Iago. Nearly succumbing to a fatal illness. Being held hostage by a disguised Zola. And nearly falling into the bottomless void of Valla.

I can’t blame Takumi for thinking that the world is out to get him, since he does seem to somehow have worse luck than Arthur. He has unfortunately painted a giant target on him by showing just how vulnerable he is and how easy it is to manipulate him. I can definitely see why Anankos made him his primary puppet.

Because of the constant hesitations, doubts and emotional turmoil he suffers on an hourly basis, Takumi has made himself very vulnerable and prone to be put into dangerous situations. And I find that it comes from two distinct traits to him. For one, because he can be a bit blunt and careless with his words and actions, it was easy for no one to realize that he was being manipulated and slowly corrupted. And second, aside from Ryoma, Takumi is easily the strongest member or the Hoshidan army, if not all the Fates characters. When you manage to get rid of the strongest person in an army, you almost immediately get the advantage over your foe. And if you can get that person on your side, you pretty much secure an instant victory for you. With this, it’s no wonder why Takumi is both desired and dreaded. And it’s pretty clear which side Takumi listens to more.

Yet in spite of all the turmoil he deals with on a daily basis, not only does he remain one of the most popular characters in Fates, he still remains the most desired

5 star hero.

I know that so long as new heroes get added, this statement is going to become less and less credible, but I still believe that even with all the new characters we’ve gotten, Takumi is still one of the most sought after units. I still see post from people who lament how they have yet to get him or celebrating how joyful they are to have him. And while it’s easy to hate on him because of how overpowered he is and how much it can pain people to have to face him in the arena, especially with recent updates, but that’s more down to the people that abuse him rather than the actual character.

And I know I might seem pretty biased, since I am guilty of using him on my main team. But allow me state why not only I, but many others like me, use him. Not because of his strength, but his character.

I stand by the belief that most if not all the Fates characters in Heroes are of a post Revelations universe. And if that is the case, it does explain Takumi’s personality in this. He seems to have mellowed out from his previous persona and is less harsh on himself. Granted, yes, he still has doubts and issues and he does still think that others look down on him, but it feels like he is slowly growing more confident in himself and is working to stand tall more often.

And that’s easily the best part about Takumi.

He’s easily the character we cheer for the most. The one we want to see grow and better himself. The one we want to see come out happy. We want to see him succeed and earn the peace he so truly deserves.

And with how things are going for him, I think it’s safe to say that he just might be on the right path.

Links: http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1100832-fire-emblem

https://www.paigeeworld.com/post/587881282cedaabf0e48f6a5/fanartfriday-takumi-fireemblem-fireemblemfates-hoshido-drawing-by-theoresama

http://akimiya.deviantart.com/art/FE-Fates-Hoshido-608000947

http://shintokiame.deviantart.com/art/Blame-Takumi-595157360 

[oncesneverenough]

#1 Shatter Me - Review

Book Series:  Shatter Me

Author:  Tahereh Mafi

Rating:  3.0 stars

Publication Date:  November 15th 2011

Number of pages: hardcover, 338 pages

Synopsis:

I have a curse

I have a gift

I am a monster

I'm more than human

My touch is lethal

My touch is power

I am their weapon

I will fight back

Juliette hasn’t touched anyone in exactly 264 days.

The last time she did, it was an accident, but The Reestablishment locked her up for murder. No one knows why Juliette’s touch is fatal. As long as she doesn’t hurt anyone else, no one really cares. The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17-year-old girl. Diseases are destroying the population, food is hard to find, birds don’t fly anymore, and the clouds are the wrong color.

The Reestablishment said their way was the only way to fix things, so they threw Juliette in a cell. Now so many people are dead that the survivors are whispering war – and The Reestablishment has changed its mind. Maybe Juliette is more than a tortured soul stuffed into a poisonous body. Maybe she’s exactly what they need right now.

Juliette has to make a choice: Be a weapon. Or be a warrior.

I'm not a big fan of dystopias novels, the only ones I actually enjoyed were Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and The Maze Runner by James Dashner, I absolutely hated Divergent Series and I haven't manage to finish the series; so it came as a surprise when I managed to go through the first book without cringing. That's a big thing for me! And the biggest surprise was the fact that I actually liked it, and liked the characters.

In dystopian books, usually the characters are neglected and all focus is on the plot, the more action the better, no matter that the people are so badly portrayed it makes the whole scenes terrible. Well Mafi manages to bring to life some very interesting characters.

I'm fascinated by Juliette Ferrars, all her inner monologue is amazingly written, the emotions she's going through, her reactions to the people around her manage to make you understand her.

I am nothing but novocaine. I am numb, a world of nothing, all felling and emotion gone forever. I am a whisper that never was.

And yet, despite all she's been through when she's confronted with Warner she still has a backbone and most important of all, she knows she has the power to chose her own path: "You don't have a choice." He won't look at me. "I always have a choice."  She doesn't let anyone play with her and that's something I loved about her character. And there's also the fact that she struggles to remain sane during her 3 years in an insane asylum which basically means she's borderline crazy and that gives her an edge you don't usually find in characters. We already see a huge development in her personality towards the end, mostly due to Adam's appearance - or should I say reappearance? - in her life. I just hope the author won't forget about her 'craziness' in the next books and transform her into a typical female character in love with her knight in shinning armor.

I'm expected to be grateful for. My parents. My teachers. Adam. Warner. The Reestablishment. I am expendable to all of them. They think I'm a doll they  can dress up and twist into prostration. But they're wrong.

Adam Kent is...too perfect. I'm trying to find something bad or annoying but I can't seem to think of anything. That either means Mafi didn't bother to create a more complex character or he's going to turn into a real asshole in the next books. I know from spoilers ( which means what I'm about to say is considered a SPOILER) that he's not gonna end up with Juliette and I really can't understand why - they seem to have a great relationship so far. He can touch her without being killed, which is a major benefit, and they seem to really help each other so it's a pretty healthy relationship. I just hope he won't be turned into a jerk by the end of the series.

Aaron Warner Anderson is the 'villain'. And what can I say? I always enjoyed a character with psychopathic tendencies. But there's still a thing I can't get over (SPOILER FOR THE THIRD BOOK) is how he and Juliette will get together after all he's been putting her through. Because well..the only acceptable explanation would be that he played a role, and if he did he must be a heck of an actor. There was something similar to this between Rhysand and Feyre in the ACOTAR books but the difference is that Rhys never really forced her into anything whereas it's clear Warner was trying to manipulate her for his own benefit and in his desperate attempt to find someone like him, he neglected a very important part of Juliette - and that's her ability to forgive those who've harmed her, which is obviously a trait he's not familiar with.

But getting back to this book, I think he's a worthy opponent with an interesting possible background and I hope we'll see more sides of his character. From here his development can go from really well to extremely bad and giving this is my first book by Tahereh Mafi, I can only hope she doesn't destroy a character with an amazing potential.

Kenji Kishimoto is by far my favorite male character in this book. Why? Well, it's really not that hard to guess - he's a sarcastic son of a bitch with a huge ego and a bigger heart. His jokes always manage to diminish the ever-present-tension and yet he's more than the comic relief of the story. He practically saves everyone's ass and proves to be one hell of a soldier. What's not to love? I mean yeah...he gives a ten year old sleeping pills but the reason he did it just melts my heart: he didn't want to kid to have more material for his nightmares. If that's not cute, I don't know what is.

"Son of a motherless goat-"  

"Aww, you trust me?" "As long as I have a clear shot." I tighten my hold on the gun in my hand. His grin is crooked. "I don't know why, but I kind of like it wen you threaten me." "That's because you're an idiot." "Nah." He shakes his head. "You've got a sexy voice. Makes everything you say sound naughty." Adam stands up so suddenly he nearly knocks over the coffee table. Kenji bursts out laughing, wheezing against the pain in his injuries. "Calm down, Kent, damn. I'm just messing with you guys. I like seeing psycho chick get all intense." He glances at me, lowers his voice. "I mean that as a compliment - because, you know" - he waves a haphazard hand in my direction - "phycho kind of works on you." "What the hell is wrong with you?" Adam turns to him.

"This must be difficult for you." "Excuse me?" "Looking at my face. Realizing I was right. Realizing you made the wrong decision." He shrugs. "I understand. I'm not a proud man, you know. I'd be willing to forgive you." I gape at him, unsure whether to laugh or throw something at him.

"I want to see Adam. I want to see James. And I want a set of clothes-" "You're naked?" Kenji is suddenly studying my sheet and not bothering to be subtle about it.

And if those quotes didn't make you love Kenji, you're hopeless and have no real chance at happiness in life.

The plot in the book is kind of typical until now...at least after Juliette and Adam leave the insane asylum - those were some cool chapters by the way. All we find out about the status of the world proves to be an exaggeration in the end, everyone wants the female character on their side: Warner to finally have someone who could understand him and Castle to have a rebellion mascot. I just hope they don't turn her into another Katnis Everdeen, not when she has this amazing backstory that could turn her into a totally new kind of character.

I'm not overly impressed by the action and events but the characters were a very nice surprise so I'm definitely going to read the next book to get to find out more about them. If you're a dystopian novel fan, you're definitely going to enjoy this book and even if you're not, but you love some great characters you'll find what you need in Mafi's book. However, if you're the type of person for whom the plot is everything, you might not find this book so enjoyable seeing that until now, it was kind of typical.