#i honestly dont expect this to go anywhere really like shes super nice and we seem to get on but also | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

marinetteplztakeabreak · 4 years ago

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okay now that we’re in the middle of a hiatus and the fandom is mostly calmed down

I’m one of the very few people who’s actually hoping for a Lila redemption arc? I don’t want her to be friends with Adrien or Marinette or anyone she’s really really hurt, but she is still like 14 and we don’t know her full story and I honestly want to see her grow and be a person and make some actual friends and get some hobbies. Again, I think she’s burned the bridge with a few characters, but that doesn’t mean she can’t ever be friends with anyone else

and anyway, my ideal takedown/ redemption arc for Lila is one where she unknowingly lies about having several disabilities that other students in the class actually do have

BUT I don’t want it in a “oh actually, Lila, you dumb fool, I have real medically diagnosed tinnitus, so I know that’s not how it works, haha everyone look at Lila the stupid liar” kind of way

I want them to be like stupid levels of understanding and try to bond with her

(detailed explanation of my Lila arc under the cut, obviously don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of Lila being redeemed)

Lila is like “oh... actually... I can’t participate in the PE final... I have scoliosis... that I just found out about right now” and Juleka is like “oh! I have scoliosis too!” and Lila is panicking because she’s about to be called a fraud, but instead Juleka just happily sits with her for the entire PE final and rambles about stuff and is super happy to have a bench buddy

Alix mentions that she has tinnitus and Lila is like “wait what? why aren’t you in front of the class?” and Alix is like “oh, for me it’s kind of a waves thing? on good days, I can hear her from anywhere in the classroom, and on bad days, nothing can really help me hear? so Ms. Bustier just gives me lecture notes that I can read and it works for me.” And Lila is completely expecting to be called a fraud but Alix is just like “it’s super cool that it does help you, though! everyone’s different! If you ever want to compare notes about what helps, you can text me!”

Lila starts to say the beginning of a well practiced and overly researched speech about how she can’t go on a field trip because she has a super rare medical condition and Max just pulls her aside and is like “hey, I know it can be scary and you feel like you have to justify yourself, but you really don’t have to give super personal information all the time. It’s totally fine if you are comfortable, but really, I know from personal experience that Ms Bustier and this class are super understanding. You can just say ‘personal reasons’ or something and we’ll all leave you alone. You’re allowed to have privacy.” and Lila is like “huh”

this is getting long but basically, eventually she talks to someone in the class with ADHD or anxiety, I’m going to say Alya for now, so she literally catches Lila lying about knowing some celebrity, and instead of being angry or judgemental she’e super discreet about it, she pulls her aside like “hey, I know it feels hard to make friends, but I promise you, people do think you’re interesting as you are, and we care more about you than the people you know.” and she doesn’t even call Lila out for lying? she’s literally just like “u dont have to know celebrities”

and then Lila actually finds out that there’s at least one actual compulsive liar in the class. And, if you didn’t know, Lila’s not an actual compulsive liar, and I’m not going to get into a rant about that now but... She lies on purpose, and tells planned lies with an agenda, whereas compulsive liars don’t usually plan to lie or have a reason for lying. So anyway, Lila gets actually caught lying, and someone, lets just say Nino for the sake of picking a character, is like “hey i know its hard but you do still have to apologize, even if you did your best, you still messed up and you’ve got to own up to it. I believe you that you’re trying to be better but you can’t just use mental illness as an excuse.” and Lila pulls out the fake tears and is like “you don’t understand-” and Nino is (not in a rude way, just trying to be kind) like “I can’t understand you exactly, no, but I literally did have a problem with compulsive lying and I have a therapist, so if you want to talk about it I probably understand more than you know” and Lila is like “oh.”

and anyway, Lila’s arc doesn’t come through someone she’s harassed trying to defend her, and it doesn’t come from her being traumatized into being nice, it just comes from her classmates treating her like a human person, and doing their best to understand her while also actually finding ways to make things accessible to her so she stops being able to get out of things. And then it turns to “hey Lila, just so you know, you don’t HAVE to give explanations for not wanting to go places, you can just SAY if you’re uncomfortable.” and she starts getting called out on it a little bit more, but in a friendly way. Her classmates are just like “Lila please just tell us what you want, I don’t need your medical history, I’m not going to do a background check, just, say you want to borrow a jacket and I’ll let you borrow it. I literally have an extra hoodie”

But simultaneously, everyone with a disability “in common” with her starts latching on to her and opening up, and they actually hold her accountable for listening to their needs. And Lila, who already has the mindset of “oh u are legally required to help Disabled Person or everyone will hate you,” which is literally the basis of half of her plans, is now surrounded by classmates who are asking for her help with reading things because they’re dyslexic, or asking her to grab a textbook from across the room, and asking her if she has any heating pads, and, well, Mylene actually bought her some heating pads when she was faking having cramps earlier, so she might as well lend those out so that she can get more credit with her classmates

And it’s not because she *cares* obviously, she’s just doing it to get them to rely on her, and to get on their good side

and then she’s invited to join the disabled students activism club, and it would look suspicious if she didn’t join, so she agrees, and then whoops, she is now working to do actual charity work-- because it’s really nice to have such solid evidence for her claims, and some charity work that she can actually point to solid evidence for if she ever gets called out-- and honestly it is pretty stupid that its so hard to get accommodations on tests for students with anxiety, because aren’t those the students who are the most afraid to talk to the teachers-- not that Lila cares. And it’s super dumb that no one even knows proper etiquette for helping people in wheelchairs,, and people keep Leaving Things in the Hallways that make it too narrow, and-- Lila doesn’t care at all though, and she definitely doesn’t care about her “friends” in the club because they’re not her friends, and she totally does not cry when she finds out that most of them are literally self-diagnosed, and then it turns out that Mylene was actually wrong, and she probably doesn’t have Lyme disease like she thought, and no one judges her or treats her any different? they’re all just like “oh thats great! glad you could keep getting new information!”

and Lila realizes that literally no one will be mad if it turns out she doesn’t have any disabilities. Except also, she’s starting to become more and more sure that she Does have several things wrong with her, because apparently it’s Not Normal to feel constantly on guard when she’s around other people, and apparently it’s Not Normal to just have days where you literally cannot drag yourself out of bed in the morning and then get hit with terror that if you tell anyone about how numb you feel they’ll immediately think you’re unworthy as a human being, and she’s like, oh, huh, i should look into that

and anyway Lila doesn’t even try to be a good person at first she just wakes up one day and is like “what the heck when did i get actual friends and passions and hobbies,, i did not sign up for this” but she does start making an effort to be worthy of them and she ends up growing a whole ton once she’s given a support system

and anyway i know lots of people are uncomfy with Lila and that’s fine, but i’m continuously a sucker for “evil devil child is actually a pretty decent human being once their basic needs are met and they feel safe” trope

#long post #lila rossi #miraculous ladybug #ml #i do not know how to tag this #trying to not tag my hate but also not attract the specific people who would hate on this #let me know if theres any tags that need to be added

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remnantoforario · 4 years ago

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RWBY Volume 8 Episode 2 Thoughts

Oh great...Robyn and Jacques are talking to each other.

Oh thank the Brother Gods Watts is here. Sabat makes everything better.

Yes, Robyn, smile at police brutality.

So you hate your entire existence then? Because you’ve been doing nothing since Volume 7.

Really, Qrow? Your STILL blaming Ironwood? Or do you mean Tyrian? Either way I’d rather them still be alive than you right now honestly.

You know if they used this reporter guy last volume to explain plot points V7 wouldnt have felt as rushed.

“It feels like the end of days” he says as people calmly walk down the street like they’re on vacation.

Seriously, there aren’t any Grimm anywhere.

Joanna’s a dick to reporters

Oh hey, the preview scene.

Geez these child models are scary to look at.

Oh hey, the other preview scene

Is Ren annoyed at helping people now?

I never thought I would say this but...FINALLY some racism around here.

Wait, when did the Faunus decide this? We didnt see any at all in V7 that weren’t Blake, Marrow, Sheep Girl, or Tyrian. Almost like they forgot about them or something...

Oh NOW Yang cares about the Faunus since she’s schrodinger fucking one

Wouldnt be RWBY without ill timed comedy

It’s almost like there are years of conditioning and factors that lead to this divide between humans and faunus, but I dont expect you guys to know that since its never been explored...like at all.

Yep, Robyn wanted the tower up so bad...that she stole supplies and didnt give them back even AFTER finding out about the plan. Real team player.

Oh hey, Blake’s hair is fixed.

Weiss, you are the one shining light in this show.

Minor correction, Penny. The AceOps didnt attack RWBY, it was the other way around.

No, Ruby, it WASN’T a lie. Ironwood is 100% telling the truth, people are going to die without Penny. That is on your head.

It is so jarring when Lindsay uses her actual voice for Ruby at times. You guys gotta let Lindsay age up Ruby’s voice.

Ruby speaks like someone who THINKS she knows what the right thing to say is, but actually doesnt understand and makes things worse.

Ren storming off wasnt supposed to be funny...but it was

Sheep Girl’s uncle is the mole guy? interesting

Oh look. Grimm. Nice to see, what 3 is this supposed invasion?

Im mad they just sat there and watched that Grimm dog walk Oscar...even if it was a kind of hilarious.

Also, good camera work on that attack honestly.

That thing just transform?

I really do hate how inconsistent RWBY is with how threatening the Grimm are supposed to be. One second 100+ are being soloed by four school girls, then the next one Grimm just pushes everyones shit in.

“Grimm aren’t that smart” well neither are you, Jaune.

Also, didnt the Nucklavee have above average intelligence? Did you forget that fight?

Did...Did that Grimm just talk?

This Grimm is not my new favorite character (sorry, Weiss). I shall named him “Gooby” (Grimm Scooby)

Now Im not gonna say this Grimm was inspired by Venom, but...

Say what you want about Ruby’s horrible leadership...at least no one got kidnapped under her watch.

Well maybe you try TELLING her, Yang. Pretty sure people deserve to know theres a super strong talking Grimm that can grow wings.

I hope Liebrecht voicing Gooby isnt a permanent thing...

#RWBY #RWBY Volume 8 #V8 spoilers

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captain-of-the-roses · 4 years ago

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Stupid Things my family has said

Part III

"I can taste colors." ".......excuse me??"

"Mom! Mom the cart!" "It'll be fine!"

"Do we have enough syrup?" ".........NOPE."

"The cart-Mom!"

"We should get yogurt." "Ew." "For Jaiden." "Still ew."

"Last chance to trade." Whispering: "Last chance to negotiate. Send in your seconds see if they can set the record straight."

"I'm a girl in a word where my only job is to marry rich- Paddidle- my father has no sons so-"

*picks up egg carten* "Ooh, look at that one." "Oof." *picks up another carten* "These are nice." "Perfect."

*insert entire conversation about boys being dumb*

"What's wrong with me tonight?" "Do you want me to answer that?" "Sure. Why not." "Everything."

"The Boston Tea Party~ Fuck ya, bitches!"

"BUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNN~" "This is why we dont take you anywhere."

*picks up tomato* "You are ugly." "Did you just pick up that tomato and say you are ugly?" "I say that every time I look in a mirror."

Me: "So, when we went to Applebees-"

Sister:"We went to Applebees?"

Me: "I did. Anyways there was a baguette-"

Sister: "Lafayette baguette."

Dad: "A bag-et"

Me: "its bu-get not bag-et."

Dad: "In American its bag-et."

Me: "First of all, American isn't a language-"

Dad: "Depends on where you are."

Me: "Second of all, its bu-get"

"I'm not a fan of scary games." "You fight zombies." "Ya, but then I have a gun."

"Aaron Burr tried to start an empire out of Texas." "Not surprised, he was kinda an asshole."

"What-no, I have headphones in-" "Hearing aids~"

*tries to explain plan* *gets interrupted* *tries to explain once again* *everyone starts laughing* "I really do love you guys..."

While eating ice cream "I forgot how to eat ice cream."

In total seriousness. "I swear, if you get cake in the hair-"

"Honestly, I'm surprised whenever she talks this late." "Because you didnt expect her to be up?" "No, it just surprises me she talks after 8." "At this point in pretty much Nocturnal."

"Maybe that's what we'll do." "Eat Kylynn?!?!?"

"-he spent $40 dollars on a coconut!" "I mean, they were probably pretty rare-" "A. COCONUT!"

"Leonardo DiCaprio, I think." "Oh ya, meme guy."

"I ran super fast into the stairs and stubbed my toe."

"I heard breathing." "We own a dog???"

Finger guns "I'll ignore her."

"Did you just say snap, crackle, pop?" "Ya, I'm walking up the stairs and things are cracking. I'm like a bowl of fucking rice crispies over here."

"She isn't the brightest..."

"Google wished me a happy birthday." "More proof it has no sense of privacy."

"Do you ever get scared of the window cause you think a sniper os out there, waiting." "No, I pray."

"If you like soggy bacon why not just go out to a farm and take a bite of a pig."

"The world needs more assassins."

Eating the ice cream off the lid. "Depressed~"

"Ok, stop." "I'm just coughing."

"I'm going to the bathroom, don't kill each other."

"Dad left!"

"I heard loud noises and a car just pulled up out front."

"She just froze?"

"I want the cake on a metal plate without the frosting." "Does the metal plate make the cake taste different?"

"Crispy bacon is best bacon. That is a fact." "That's an opinion." "Its a fact amd any one who says otherwise is wrong."

"Ssssaaaaammmmee...."

"Ok, someone take the cheese away from her."

"Put the cheese in your coffee." "How dare you try to disrespect the drink of the gods!"

"Pennsyvania, but its spelt Penfylvania." "Penfylvania?" "Penfylvania." "Penfylvania." "Penfylvania." "Penfylvania." "Penfylvania."

"What do you think?" *licks face* "Same."

"Do you need anything?" "Drugs." "Kids don't do drugs." "And if you do, come to me." "John!"

*sneezes* "Bless you." "Bless you." "..........Bless you." "That was delayed."

"Can you imagine having 4 other siblings? ....wait-"

*super high-pitched sneeze* "Did you sneeze or drop something?"

#weird things my family has said #our conversations are strange #some of these its super obvious who said what

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didsomeonesayventus · 5 years ago

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ESSAY TIME I love a ship please come hang out w/ me on this dinghy or like. dont because fates is awful and I can’t blame u for dodging that bullet but i just wanna scream because i love them and they’re the fixation rn so 321 GO

i cant blame anyone for not really seeing this because their support is. Ok. Its alright. Not amazing, it’s serviceable, better options are out there in fates I'll concede. Corrin has like. At least 3 other love interests who feel more canon LMAO but this isn’t about them

It's more from elsewhere in their characterization that really made me adore them and, as I mentioned in tags, a lot of this comes from how I write them which. Is largely filed under rp stuff right now but more ramble time on how i write them i guess dont forget to mark your free bingo space for throwing out large swaths of fates canon and writing. Also we're scooting their canon support gently to the side because it’s ok it’s not the most offensive writing this nightmare scrap heap of canon has to offer but a massive missed opportunity.

PART 1- One (1) Corn, With a Side of Emotional Neglect

*makes vague gesture at Disney's Rapunzel* Corrin would have been so much better recieved if the devs just took some notes from you instead of writing such a flat character i swear.

Corrin in particular with how I write her is getting a pretty massive rework in the emotionally stable department because honestly I don’t believe she would be. like. She's not dumb, but she is naive, important distinction, and it ends up coloring her views a lot and I have a ramble on that over here on the inverse graph that is Corrin’s confidence but to dissect where her attitudes came from:

Her family was limited to visits, and she has been directly/implicitly blamed for this for roughly a decade and a half, at least a decade, by not being an insane king's definition of strong enough to be with them. Bad memory makes her frail, swordsmanship isn’t up to par, doesn’t seem to offer much else in terms of skills unlike Xander, a Certified Badass(tm), Magic-oriented Leo and Elise, and Magically gifted but just plain ruthless Camilla. She’s held at arm’s length from her family, and while her siblings may have always loved her and expressed that love as often as they could, they’re not always there or a good yardstick to measure her progress with, and she had to always watch them go and likely wonder when they would come back, or if they even would.

As for our beloved butler and maids, being surrounded by servants was probably her most constant and consistent source of contact, and she does love them, but it can be very easy to wonder if they love her because they do or because it's their job to.

Corrin's faith in everyone around her and unwavering trust is there because any sort of doubt is basically redirected to. her. Because she is the dumbass who's still figuring the world out. She's hyper aware she's still learning and making naive decisions and she overcompensates that with "well what do I know" and not feeling really all that worthy to be Special Protagonist. She doubts herself before almost everything else.

Brief mention of Dragon arc because fates was dumb and neglected an entire arc for dragon feelings beyond chapter 5 and foreshadowing for Dad(tm) but I also write in an arc of the Dragon Is A Metaphor For Loving Yourself Faults And Trauma And All Love Yourself And You Can Control Yourself Dammit.

*Corrin hurt herself in her confusion!*

The way I write Corrin is not nearly as put together and confident as Canon™️ Corrin is, at least for a good chunk of the plot. She fakes it till she makes it because she is a leader and being mopey will not get things done but she’s also very self critical and mopey on the inside and quite paranoid that people don’t actually like being around her and just. ball of stress and anxious hidden under Many a uwu that she doesn’t want to talk about because why should she complain her childhood wasn’t That Bad and if she’s mopey how can she set a good example and people don’t like debbie downers and look its fine its fine lmao

PART 2- Mr. Perfect

As for Mr. Subaki he puts a lot of time and effort into looking perfect. I emphasize that because he may very well have natural talent, but honestly it feels like a large amount of his perfection is just. Stressing himself out by planning for and rehearsing everything possible! God this anxious idiot I love him!!! He's sociable and agreeable, but I think with basically everyone it’s. Skin deep. He’s charismatic Enough, and he digs a bit into the other’s history and personality if he’s interested, but he never really lets the other reciprocate like a magician never revealing his fraudulent secrets.

Biggest problem with that is he can't open up and vent because that is to admit a flaw and no no cant have that we cannot have that so he's just. Not sure who to turn to and has trouble being emotionally honest- even to himself. He just! Doesnt let himself have fun or relax; all perfect all the time baby. There’s basically no one who he could consider a close and trusted friend who can love him flaws and all. The closest would be Sakura and Hana and welp. gotta keep things professional and it’s not like Hana really expresses a sense of understanding and patience when they’re fiercely competitive with each other.

There’s probably a lot of muttering to his pegasus while he’s cleaning her hooves or braiding her mane, or staying up late thinking about how narrowly disaster was and wasn’t avoided that day but he. Also doesn’t really vent and also feels that imposter syndrome of “I’m honestly awful how did I even make it here.”

and it stinks because I think at his core he is a very sweet and caring guy and a massive dork, but he just plops himself on the edge of a pedestal and gives himself no room to be himself or anything less than perfect and is likely on the cusp of impending burnout.

you dumb anxious idiot i have S-Ranked you every fucking time I open this godforsaken game I didn’t even fucking plan for this

PART 3- (Patrick Warburton impression) “Oh yeah, it’s all coming together.”

So our characters and stage are set. We got FE Fates (I’ll default to Rev), we got my views when writing these two, so what next? What is the general plot I imagine since we’ve gently scooted aside the canon support chain?

The dumbasses-to-be think they’re out of each other’s league.

For Subaki, it is plot-irrelevant background character falling in love with the protagonist, which yields the exact sort of pining you’d imagine: man you are super cool and hit all my standards but I’d be dreaming if you felt the same about me. She’s sweet, she takes charge, she can fight for herself well enough, has he mentioned she’s sweet? He can actually relax a bit around her which is really odd but I guess that’s what happens when your personal skill is literally called “Supportive”. Oh yeah and also his Lady’s older sister which oof. Sakura? In law???? Hinoka in law???? Takumi in law?????????? ryoma in law oh gods.

For Corrin, it’s Mr. Prince Charming right there and he’s very nice and Sakura is saying so many nice things about him but wow she’s. a princess from a country that has consistently terrorized his and on top of that might a well have been raised under a rock!!! And she picks up details and nuances in people remarkably well, but she overthinks them. She can pick up that Subaki- while very polite and friendly -isn’t being entirely forthcoming about what he’s thinking or feeling, but she can’t pin down exactly what it is, and makes the educated guess that he's just being nice because she’s Sakura’s sister or something.

And they’re friendly. They help each other out a bit. There’s tension, sure, but no one really comments on it (except for everyone making bets in the bg). They don’t really yield on their internal messes because Corrin knows she’s a leader and can’t really do that and distracts herself with believing in everyone around her, Subaki just flat out would rather do literally anything besides admit he’s messed up anywhere or open up. So feeling are put on a low simmer for awhile.

Of course they fall in love, and it almost gets messed up because when Subaki requests to talk with her in private to confess, she immediately assumes he’s going to tell her that he’s not interested. Her simmer roars into a boil because she’s been under Protagonist Stress ON TOP OF having a crush she’s confident won’t be reciprocated, so she snaps quite a bit because that has all been shoved in a bottle and she just wants to get the mess over with if he’s just going to tell her very nicely that her company is lovely but hes not interested it hurts a lot to think that but its fine you don’t have to settle.

But the thing is being emotionally vulnerable like that, pointing out she’s scared too of always not being enough and living up to expectations, to finally get that off her chest, spurs him into it, too. Because she gets it. She honest to god gets it even if she bought into the lie he’s perfect she understands. Oh, yeah, she also reciprocates feelings that’s really excellent too. Like Subaki probably makes a lot of fuss about a bunch of ultimately meaningless details and having “standards” and yadda yadda gods help whatever poor soul asks him to pull out the list of traits of his ideal partner, but I think at the end of the day if he’s looking for love most of all, like a lot of people he just wants someone who he can just. be himself around. Who likes it when he’s being himself!

And they both learn that yeah maybe they’re more flawed than they’ve been lead to believe, but it starts to not matter at all because they still try really hard and everyone makes mistakes. They’re both here to say it’s ok your best is enough, YOU are enough. They both think they’re amazing regardless of their mistakes and love to see each other smiling and succeeding and just make. a nice little bubble of comfort. They’re stubborn and supportive, they learn how to poke and prod the bad moods away be it making a nice cup of matcha and talking it out or laughing at a tiny, meaningless mistake and repeating it to keep that feeling of dread away. Also they both spoil their partners regardless of who they end up with you can’t @ me on that they both do it which means guess what mega spoil time. And long hair on both just means they can braid each other’s hair no problem... waaaaaa.... Also early rise Subaki and late rise Corrin so there’s always a sleepy fight in the morning because UGH this is early you keep saying i’ll get used to it but im not i need a kiss first if you want me to be up this early. Subaki is better at logic and planning than Corrin, and Corrin keeps things optimistic and has a good gut for when to take an improvised risk. They’re always swapping places on who’s holding the other back from a fight that isn’t worth it because some asshole insulted the other, they mediate each other and will fight anyone who even harms a hair on the other’s head. They give and they give back and they work together perfectly.

And when it comes to the kids that bubble expands and they make sure they all have the tools to just take a deep breath and remember it’s okay Mama and Papa love you so much and you’re going to be amazing no matter what you do. Corrin’s got the best stories to tell and Subaki tucks the blankets in just right. They’re good parents with a lot of patience and plenty of mental health wisdom which is good because, as my mom would say, “bad brain chemistry is my bad”.

Like UGH I love them. I love them a lot. A good chunk of this is me making canon better thank me fates devs

Part 4- Katie All of This is Out of Your Noggin What About Canon

(DBZ abridged vc) WHAT ABOUT CANON but ok here have some canon quotes

“The two spent the rest of their lives together. Corrin ruling as the wise Queen of Valla. Subaki adapted quickly to royal leadership and became a great source of support for his wife. “ - Revelation route ending

“I feel like the pressure's off when I'm with you. I don't have to be perfect.” “You'll never be lonely as long as I'm around. Just call me and I'll come running.” - Friendship bonding quotes but also consider waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

“This might sound corny, but I think you're my soulmate.” - What he says when he is married to you and yes that is corny and its perfect

hot spring is dumb fanservice BUT if you can get the good RNG to get them both in there “A shared bath warms not just my bones, but my heart as well.” “I-I suppose so...I just wonder if it's right to be so happy...” (emphasis mine) IT ABSOLUTELY IS BE HAPPY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also one of his quotes when u stop by your quarters is "Ah, welcome home, dear. Kick off those shoes and relax. You're with me now!" and you absolute himbo your wife doesn’t fucking wear shoes!!!!!!!!!

Part 5- I’m done I’ve yelled into the void good night enjoy a ship please be excited for the fic I have on the backburner that I will get out there one of these days but I want it to be perfect so RIP me I guess

#katie rambles #long post #in case read more fucks up on mobile

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yourkittywilde · 6 years ago

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stuck with me 💍❤️

TAGGING → @yourkittywilde & @sammynolanh

TIME FRAME → 31 March 2019

LOCATION → Sammy & Kitty’s apartment, LA.

WARNINGS → None, actually. Bad cooking?

NOTES → Somewhere between Kitty yelling and making fun of girl’s hair extensions, Sammy thinks it’s the perfect time to propose. idk i’m so bad at these summaries.

KITTY

It was Kitty's first day off since moving to L.A, and honestly? She was sort of exhausted. Between TMZ and college work she'd barely had time to sleep let alone spend significant time with her boyfriend. On top of that she was trying so hard to be better for Sammy. To be more thoughtful. To be nicer. Knowing it had only been few weeks since Sammy was sick and in an effort to avoid ordering take out, Kitty had decided to cook. However somewhere between the boiling water spilling out onto the floor, tomatoes exploding in the pan and chicken that was now black, Kitty was somewhat defeated, sitting cross legged on the floor with dude in her lap. It was a lot easier when his neighbors did it for her in New York and Kitty just took the credit. "I suck at this, dude." She murmurs to the pup, patting him softly.

SAMMY

Sammy has been out on an evening hike with a few of his LA friends and was pretty tired when he had gotten home. Home. It was crazy to him that he was now living in LA and with Kitty, the love of his life, he honestly was scared it would all go away and he was just dreaming. When he entered the apartment he could smell a faint smoky smell as if something was burning. Confused he called out for kitty. “Babe?” He asked as he closed the door behind him and then saw the dog bolting from the kitchen, giving him a clue as where Kitty could be. And he was right. He looked down at her with a small laugh, finding her distress just a bit charming. He looked around at the failed attempt at dinner and he pouted “Oh honey...” he said with a small chuckle as he kneeled on the ground in front of her.

KITTY

Kitty's nose wrinkles at Sammy's voice, and though she wants to stand up and pull herself together now he's home, shes just too tired. She looks up at him when he enters the room and chews on her lower lip as she watches him assess her failure. "I tried? I really did. And then things started beeping, timers started going off at random times and I couldn't remember which was which and there were flames and..." she shrugs defeatedly. "Gordon Ramsay makes it look way easier." She comments with a faint smile and pushes her hair away from her eyes. "I can make you cereal or... something? Is that healthy?"

SAMMY

Sammy scoots closer to her, straddling her legs as he leans down and kisses her forehead. “Well, I really do appreciate you trying.” He spoke softly. “You’ve been very helpful and supportive these past couple weeks and I’m very thankful for it... but you know you don’t have to be like super girl, right?” He asked her as he brought a hand up under her chin with a soft caress of his thumb to her cheek. “I’ll love you even if you don’t cook for me.” He smiles at her.

KITTY

"That's good since I think you'll find Quinn has already firmly cemented her role as Super Girl." She answers, not able to stop the smile that pulled at her lips when he touches her cheek. At least he noticed she was trying... it meant she must have been doing something right. "Does that mean we can get take out tonight?" Kitty looks past Sammy and up at the now hecticly messy kitchen. "Like... healthyish take out? I really cant eat oats one more day without going crazy. We can get whatever you want."

SAMMY

Sammy chuckles and kisses her tenderly. “That’s right. That’s her job.” He nodded “Yeah, we can order take out, I’ll take a shower so I stop stinking from the hike and then we can watch the oh so famous Kardashian’s you’ve raved about.” He suggested to her, hoping it sounded okay. He stood from his place on the floor and helped her up as he looked around. “But first I should help you clean up.” He said with a chuckle

KITTY

She nods and takes his hand to get up from the floor, squeezing it gently as a silent thank you. "Nope, go take a shower, babe. I can clean up out here." Kitty reassures him with a half smile, and stands on her toes to softly kiss his cheek. She might not be able to cook, but cleaning she could do without messing up. Besides... he was all sweaty. "The Kardashian's will be waiting for you when you get out. Just don't lie down and fall asleep or anything while you getting changed." She moves to the sink, and turns on the tap. "Unless you feel like you need to sleep of course 'cause you did just go hiking, so that's cool too." She adds with a quieter voice.

SAMMY

Sammy was tired, he spent most of his days feeling a bit tired and looking forward to sleep but being with Kitty after a hectic week felt like the right thing to do. Not only that, he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, he had hardly seen her all week, she had been so busy. “If I help it’ll go by twice as fast.” He told her as he brought the soiled pans to the sink. He looked down at her with a quirked eyebrow “You’re being weird. What’s going on?” He questioned her as he bumped her so he could get a sponge and start scrubbing the pan in his hand.

KITTY

"It's okay, I can-" She starts to protest but rolls her eyes when he picks up the pans. And he called her stubborn. She lifts an eyebrow at his next words, glancing at him for a brief second before quickly grabbing the sponge from his hands. "Nothing's going on." She shrugs slightly, forcing a much brighter smile to her lips. "Go and have a shower, babe." She instructs him. "I've totally got this. Really. I made the mess, not you."

SAMMY

Sammy doesn’t believe her for a single second. He let her take the sponge and furrowed his brows, standing there for a moment and chewing on his lip before realizing what had changed. “You’re being really nice... like Marley nice. What’s going on.” He asked again, his hands reaching to her waist. “Don’t make me tickle you...”

KITTY

"Maybe I'm just a nice person." She looks at him with a smile, confused about whether he was complaining or not. "But nothing is going on." She says again, noticing his hands coming closer to her and dropping the sponge automatically to take a step back from him. "Sammy... no." Kittys voice gets serious, knowing how ticklish it seemed that every damn part of her body was. She holds out her hands defensively, "Doooont."

SAMMY

Sammy gave her the most knowing look. “Kitty.” He said in all seriousness and then smiled at her. “You haven’t called me an idiot in like a month...” he replied to her and then cornered her against the counter, his hands ready for the attack as he wrapped around her and began to tickle her.

KITTY

"Maybe you haven't been an idiot." Kitty counters, her eyebrows raising at him as she continues to back further away from his hands. "Saaammy dont..." she says in vein, squealing when his arms wrap around her. Her giggling is loud and shes twisting against him to get away. Her body is only able to take it for a short time before she gives in, "fine fine fine." She says breathlessly in between laughing. "You're so annoying!"

SAMMY

Sammy laughs along with the girl, stopping when she gave in. He pulled back and bowed down to her. “Thank you, I pride myself in it.” He smirked and leaned over and kisses her gently. “Now what’s the issue dear?” He asked he wrapped his arms around her neck.

KITTY

"Oh thank God." She says thankfully as she catches her breath, her eyes rolling when he bows in front of her. He was defintely an idiot... but he was sort of her idiot. Kitty leans into his kiss and fidgets with his shirt idly as he pulls away. "You're sweaty." She remarks, her lips twisting. "You really should shower." Mostly shes just looking for a way to delay talking about her feelings at this stage."So im clear, are you complaining that I'm too nice?" Was that even a thing? Kitty sighs quietly and somewhat frustratedly, knowing now they lived together there really wasnt anywhere for her to run to.

SAMMY

“I’ll shower after we talk.” He said with the raise of an eyebrow. He purses his lips and bobbed his head as he thought of the right way to phrase his thoughts. “Not necessarily complaining, cause don’t get me wrong, you being nice... is nice, but it’s also kinda weirding me out. Considering how sassy and sarcastic you normally are and you haven’t made any snarky comments, not even about my pictures with Lana on the the red carpet... I’m actually shocked I didn’t get an earful about that,” he rambled and continued “not that I like want you to be upset with me but, I just... I feel like you’ve been tiptoeing around me cause I’ve been sick.” He finally spit out.

KITTY

"You were expecting me to get upset about those photos?" She snaps back, pushing him away a little. "Was that the point? You cuddle up to your co-star and see how long it takes for me to realize that's what you want?" She shakes her head, scoffing under her breath. "I didnt say anything because I was trying to trust you." Mostly true. She hadn't said anything because she didnt want to fight with him again. "And for the record, I'm not tiptoeing around you because you've been sick. I've been tip toeing around you because I'm delaying the inevitable. We stopped having sex for a while, you got sick and now it's... awkward. It's all just awkward. And I get it, I'm not a nice person, so just leave if it's so weird. Go and be with Lana or whoever you want to be with. You've basically beat the record for how long someone has stayed at this point so congrats, you'll get a prize in the mail. But I'm totally keeping Dude."

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head. “Woah, no, no, no. I didn’t think you’d get upset... I just thought you’d make a snarky comment on her outfit or something.... babe. I don’t want her.” He reassured her. Or at least he tried. He honestly didn’t mean anything when he mentioned the other girl, he half expected Kitty to laugh it off but boy was he wrong? “Have I really not proven myself by now?” He asked a little hurt if he was being honest. “The inevitable? Kitty, why are you so damn adamant that I’m going to break up with you? When everything I’m doing is leading to the exact opposite? I moved in with you, I moved states for you. Fuck, id marry you right now if you were down. Which, I know you’re not ready for, by the way so I won’t ask you.... but the awkwardness between us is only on your side. I don’t feel awkward when I with you. Us not having sex was definitely not because of you and you know that. And you know what? I like who you are. I like everything about you.” Sammy brought his hands to his hair, scratching his head in frustration. “Fuck, even you getting angry at me all the fucking time makes me love you....” he sighed and took a few breaths. “Look. I know I’m more friendly with people than the average person but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or I’m looking to leave you or cheating on you for that matter. I love people, I love my friends and fuck if I don’t love you the most... I love you so damn much. You need to learn to trust me, Kitty. I’m not the other guys you dated. I’m not ghosting you or leaving you for my next coworker live interest... I know It doesn’t seem like it but I have a pretty good head on my shoulders and know what I’m doing and what I want. And it’s you. I don’t know how else to say it or spell it out. You drive me fucking crazy.” He said, biting his lip with a small smile tugging at the corner. His heart was honestly so full and even though they were fighting, she’s the only person worth fighting for.

KITTY

Kitty was mad. It was as though every feeling she’d had since finding out Sammy was sick was coming to the surface and the easiest one for her to grasp right now was anger. She’d watched him “date” his co-star before, and maybe that was why everything with Lana caused her to spiral so much more than normal... But he really hadn’t helped the situation either. She chews on her bottom lip as she listens to him speak, feeling less angry as each moment passed. Sammy didn’t often speak this much, and she knew him enough to be sure he wasn’t acting or reciting some cliche speech right now. Kitty also knew she should probably just move on, but she’d spent what felt like forever now not having the last word and being ‘relaxed and nice’ about everything, she didn’t have it in her to do it right now. “More friendly? You were basically making heart eyes at her on the red carpet, Sammy. And we both know i’m nothing like her -- for one, when I wear hair extensions they don’t look tacky and cheap.” She shrugs, sighing in frustration. “I love you, you idiot. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. I got over every loser that’s ever hurt me, or left me for someone nicer, or better, or sexier... but I don’t want to get over you, so if you’re not planning on breaking up with me I’m gonna need you to put it in writing that you’re not going anywhere. Because I’m so damn sick of not being enough for people.” She lifts her eyes to meet his. “I’m also gonna need you to stop freaking smiling!” She says, hitting his chest gently before resting her forehead on him. “God, you’re so annoying.”

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled, he couldn’t help it. “It’s Lana, and she has a boyfriend, either way, our relationship is totally platonic. Like I love her to death but like my little sister.” He explained to Kitty, hoping she would get it. He took her hands in his and quirked his brow slightly with a small smile. He didn’t know what overcame him but what he was about to say, it just felt right. “You want it in writing?” He asked as he kisses her head and pulled away from Kitty slightly to get down on one knee. “Marry me, Kitty.” He says gently, looking up at the girl, suddenly feeling very nervous and actually scared. His voice had the slightest shake to it as he continued to speak, getting more emotional as he went on. “I-I know it might be too soon but to me it just doesn’t feel soon enough... I know you’re the one for me. I think I’ve known since the day I met you...” he bit his lip, laughing at himself for getting so emotional. “Gosh, I’m so lame.” He said under a shaky breath. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you and fighting for you and alongside you...” he brought her hand to his lips and kisses it. “I’m so in love with you, Kitty Wilde.”

KITTY

Kitty's eyes widen as he pulls away and moves onto his knee. She almost laughs because there's no way he could possibly be proposing... unless he was proposing they shower and order Chinese food. "Sammy..." She wants to stop him. Because this was not how she planned on this conversation going. She was a mess, they were standing in their kitchen surrounded by half done dishes and burnt inedible food, and they'd just spent the past ten minutes arguing. And then she hears his words -- the words -- and her heart stops beating. Was he serious? He looked serious. He sounded serious. "Sammy..." She repeats herself as she tries to remember how to breath, let alone talk. "I... This..." She shakes her head, and takes his hand to pull him up. "Stand up, stand up, stand up. That's not what I was getting out." She reassures him. "I love you... so much. But you don't have to propose to me because I'm scared you're going to leave me. That's my problem, Sammy. Not yours. Just...umm... write it on a post it note or something."

SAMMY

Sammy’s heart was beating at what felt like a thousand beats per minute. He knew it was a long shot but yet he still hoped she would say yes. Yes, maybe part of him did it to reassure her that he wasn’t going anywhere but most of it was because he couldn’t wait to officially spend the rest of his life with this girl. He wanted this not just for her but for him. He took another deep breath as he stood to meet her. “I...I know this isn’t what you were getting at... and I’m not just saying this to make you feel better... I- I was serious when I said I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And yes I’m terrified.” He took another moment to breathe, grabbing one of her hands and placing it on his chest, over his heart, where she could feel it still beating unbearably fast. He let out a nervous laugh. “But I’m also so, so sure that you’re the one. You’re it. And I don’t want to spend another day with anyone, anywhere doubting that. Especially not you.” He nodded and then went to reach for the drawer beside her to grab the stack of post it’s and a random purple pen, scribbling something quick on it. “So...” He said as he brought of the little piece of sticky paper to her, the words ‘Marry me?’ Scribbled on it.

KITTY

Kitty was speechless. She could feel the beating of his chest and hear the way his breathing was different. But it was... sudden. Even if sometimes it felt like they were together for a lot longer, it was so sudden. She swallows and takes a deep breath as she tries to unscramble her thoughts through the sound of her own heart pounding way too loudly. God, why couldn't she think?? "You're still sweaty." She muses quietly with a small smile on her lips. He pulls away to get a post it note and in that moment Kitty's positive he's realized he's insane and is taking it all back. But if she wasn't sure how she felt before, she was even more unsure now. Taking it back might have been the smarter more rational decision, but if the way her stomach sank was any indication maybe it wasnt the one she wanted after all. Nothing with Sammy had been normal. From the moment they met Sammy had surprised her. He was crazy, and unpredictable... and possibly got too attached to his co-stars. But he fought for her. A lot. It didnt seem to matter how many times she pushed him away, or how many times she doubted him, he stuck around. He was the last person she thought of before she went to sleep at night and she loved that his face was the one she got to wake up to. Her whole life she had been trying to prove to someone that she was worth it -- her parents, her friends, her coaches, her boyfriends. But with Sammy? He didnt ask her to be anything other than herself. He didnt want or need her to prove anything. Being with him wasnt always easy... but she really did love and care for him more than she did herself. Which was... different and new.Kitty ran her fingers through her hair a little nervously, looking down at their puppy who clearly decided he'd had enough unsupervised destruction around the apartment and made his way back into the kitchen. She lifts her eyes to the post it note Sammy was now holding in front her, and she couldn't stop her face from lighting up. The blonde wasnt good at emotions, she tended to over talk and say the wrong thing, generally offending someone. But she knew how she felt in this moment. She chuckles and picks up the purple pen from the counter top, quickly taking the post it not from his fingers and scribbling below his words. There's a smile on her lips when she hands it back to him, her own words simply saying 'Yes.'

SAMMY

Sammy grew more and more nervous. Kitty being quiet about it all didn’t really help either. He half expected her to just push him away and leave the room, maybe just end things for good... god, he was stupid. He didn’t want to scare the girl away and now he was on the verge of a meltdown with how quiet they boy were. He then sees the small smile on her lips and she comments on the newly dripping sweat running down his chest. The nerves and excitement making him sweat like a pig. Still she hadn’t answered but the smile seemed hopeful and Sammy returned the small smile, waiting for an answer as his heart continued to pound in his chest. Wow, waiting was exhausting. He felt like he’d ran a marathon. He watches as she turns to pick up the pen, thankful she made the next move cause Sammy was close to a full blown anxiety attack, and she also take the note, writing something below it. It was fast and Sammy honestly has no idea what it says but he’s still hopeful. She then shows it to him and now Sammy’s the one who’s speechless. He grabs the note from her hands and pulls it closer to his face, reading it over and over and over and over. It’s in her handwriting, this was real, she said yes. He lets out a relieved sigh and looks at her with a huge smile. “Wait, really?” He asks.

KITTY

Kitty watches as Sammy takes forever to read the note. That was what he wanted, right? It was what she wanted... surprisingly. And just as she questioned herself, the look on his face answered her. "Really." She nods, grinning like an idiot and still not sure how arguing about his co-star had led to him proposing."I love you. And the idea of not having a future with you terrifies me more than being with you forever. So... yes." She says biting down on her lower lip to try and stop herself from smiling so much. "God, you make me way too cheesy." She lifts herself up on the counter behind her and wraps her legs around Sammy to pull him closer to her . "So we're... engaged?"

SAMMY

Sammy swears his heart skipped a beat actually hearing her yes. He envelopes her in his arms, pulling her incredibly close to him, a yelp of excitement and happiness escapes his mouths and he rocks her back and forth and kisses whatever he can reach with his lips. He’s so happy, he actually didn’t know he could be this happy. He feels intoxicated and high and everything just felt right in the world. “Holy shit, yes. We’re engaged. I- uh I need to get you a ring...” He stammers “Tomorrow, we can go pick one out. Whichever one you want. Holy fuck, I can’t wait to tell my parents.”

KITTY

For the second time tonight Kitty finds a small squeal escaping her mouth when Sammy's arms wrap around her and his lips are attacking her. She's happy... Beyond happy. Her face actually hurts from grinning which until right now she thought was something people said when they were trying to be cliché and cheese. "You don't have to rush." She assures him, not caring about anything other than just being with him. She picks up the post it for a second, "We have this... it's basically the same thing as a ring. But we should probably do the whole meet the parents thing some time soon." Kitty laughs slightly and leans in to kiss him again, pulling away with smile when she needs to catch her breath. "You still have to watch the Kardashians with me tonight."

SAMMY

Sammy takes another deep breath and nods. “Okay.” He says softly, pressing his forehead against hers with a gently smile. “I’m so happy right now.” He told her with a chuckle as he pulled away to look at her. “Damn, I thought proposing would get me out of that...” he joked and laughed, shaking his head with a sigh. “It’s okay, I’d endure the Kardashian’s every day if it meant being with you.” He grinned. “Okay, I definitely need to shower now and then we can Ubereats some nice champagne and food and we’ll watch the Kardashian’s. Yeah?”

KITTY

"Nope." She chuckles, tilting her head with a smile. "You basically just committed to watching it with me forever and ever and ever." She nods at his plan and places a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Oh phew, I was hoping you would shower sometime soon." Kitty teases him, her legs still tightly wrapped around him. There was a part of her that didn't want to let him go, being here with him right now felt perfect and she so very selfishly didn't want it to end. "And then we should really celebrate... preferably without clothing. Actually definitely without clothing." She smirks, and finally lets go of him so he's able to leave. "I love you, hot shot."

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled at her snarky comment and pressed his lips to her neck, growling lightly into her skin with desire and leaving a few kisses to her skin before pulling away, biting his lip with a grin. “I like the way you think.” He said as he kisses her and pulls away with a nip at her lips. “I love you, too.”

#para: sammy #sammy #para: stuck with me #//there's not actually any ring #but there's no post it note emoji lol #and i really like emojis #{ about: wilde wedding }

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aurimeanswind · 7 years ago

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Cold Breeze—Sunday Chats (11-19-17)

Another week, another Sunday

It’s been a long week for me. Not in actuality, because I’ve slept an average of 10 hours a day every day this week, which is both a good and a bad thing. It’s good because I’ve been sleeping crazy well. It’s bad because it reminds me of my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, of my sometimes inability to drag myself out of bed to do anything. It’s also a common habit I fall into when I know I’m depressed, and while I push back as much as I can against that overwhelming feeling, it’s still there. Ever-present. And it sucks.

It helps to know that the ExtraLife team, now disbanded, is definitely full of the melancholy. We all miss each other. Some more than others, assuredly, but there is just so much love an affection there. I think taking that step back in the aftermath of ExtraLife, the distance, the pride fills me more because of the tight bonds that were just driven home over that week.

It’s full on Persona-style bonds. Maxed social link meters and unbreakable relationships that serve as tentpole and standing memories and gifts that we all cherish, equally. It’s a comforting feeling, in the sad/loneliness.

But I digress.

It’s been very good for games! And I’ve sunk my teeth into some big ones this week.

What’s On Tap

Assassin’s Creed Origins

This is the really big one. I’ve spent about 25-ish hours with this title this week.

I love this game, which is super surprising. I wrote a big long thing about all the wild changes they made on this blog, so I’ll refrain from repeating myself here.

One thing I really love in this game is Bayek, the main character. The relationship with him and his wife Aya is just so good. They just fucking love each other so much and its disgusting but sweet and kind of nice. it’s this central bond that the plot swirls around and it’s really strong, unlike other AC games.

I also think the side quest quality in this game is remarkable. It reminds me a ton of The Witcher 3. While I don’t think the voice acting is quite up to that same par, it’s astoundingly excellent.

I dont’ have many complaints about this game. I really just adore it. And I’m thankful to my friends Barrett and Youssef for recommending it.

Destiny 2

I’ve only been playing a bit here and there, with another playdate with Tony and Greg tonight. It’s been fun playing the game again though, and I’ve excited for the new content coming early next month.

Overwatch

I just wrapped up playing some Overwatch just now, trying out Moira.

Moira is excellent. She is exactly what the healing team in Overwatch needed, a new on-the-ground healer. I feel like Ana is just not an effective healer at all, at least on console where aim and precision is not as strong.

What I love about Moira is that healing is a resource for her, she needs to tap into it, and if you run out, you can’t heal anymore. It means you need to use her primary energy drain weapon, get out there, and be aggressive in order to be able to support your team.

It’s a lot like Doomfist’s shield, which he generates for using his abilities on enemies, and it requires him to use his skillset to then be a better and greater asset to his team.

Moira also heals herself with her attack, so she benefits herself and her own play style by being aggressive.

I really like her. She may take top spot as my primary healer, but I am also incredibly fond of Mercy’s new ultimate, so it’s a toss up. Much like all the many characters I play in Overwatch, it’ll depend on the situation.

Questions

Remember to look for my tweet on Sunday afternoons with the hashtag #SundayChats in it. Reply with your question, and you’re in here.

Let’s do this.

On a personal leve, because I don’t think 2018 will hit the same highs for me, I want there to be more surprises. Again, this is for me, because I think there were huge hit surprises this year for folks like PUBG, but I just didn’t have quite so many hits.

On that note, I hope those surprises come from smaller, indie games. Like I think that was a collection of titles that got lost for me this year because of the stellar AAA games that took the spotlight, but those weird and nuanced and special indie games are some of the best experiences I live for, and I hope with more room in 2018 I’ll be able to get lost in them.

Personally I just use the Twitter app on my phone, and I’m happy with it. Most folks I know swear by Tweetbot, but I’ve never really gotten to use it myself.

As for Desktop, it’s all about Tweetdeck. You can tweet from multiple accounts, and have just multiple timelines open it it. On mine I have a news story feed for games, my timeline, my mentions, my notifications, and then the IP notifications too. It’s the way to go, in my experience.

It was the greatest thing I’ve ever been a part of for about a dozen different reasons.

I’m excited to be able to relive it in the archived videos.

I’d love to visit Hyrule castle town either from Breath of the Wild or Twilight Princess. This is all pre-apocolypse, of course, but especially in BotW it seems like such an incredible and bustling place. I’d love to see the different peoples and cultures of that world melted together in that supreme beauty.

Another one is Hengsha from Deus Ex, because it’s the two-layer city, kind of like Midgar from FF7. I’d just love to see that in person. That’d be more of an architectural look, just to see that crazy design in person and up close.

Another would be Inaba from Persona 4. Just because that place is like a second home for me. I’d love to finally see it in person.

Hrm, that’s tough. I have a lot that I just need to boot up and get through at this point, so it’s likely the ones that I just know I’m not going to get. A big one is Night in the Woods. I’m determined to make Edith Finch happen, but Night in the Woods seems like a really special game that I’m just not going to get to.

That list of indie games is depressingly long for me too. Pyre? Probably won't get to it and I want to play that so bad. Steamworld Dig 2? I may not get to that this year. I’ll definitely play it but probably just not this year, and that’s such a massive bummer for me since I loved the first one so much. The Housemarque games this year too, since I loved all the times I played them in preview settings.

I do still have some time, and I plan on getting through a few good things between now and the end of December. We’ll see what doesn’t make it.

For me its a handful of titles that maybe Nabeshin has thrown out to me. I’d like to try Red Dead Redemption at some point. And 999. Those two are huge standouts, but outside of that, it’s hard for me to think of some franchise that I haven’t dipped my toes into at least a little bit with the given time.

I should probably play Tokyo Mirage Sessions someday but we’ll see. Still have it sealed in the plastic wrap.

Man, this is so hard. Ideal is tough too, because maybe that implies I’ve been there?

The place I’ve always wanted to go my whole life is Ireland. Its the motherland right? It calls me back. That, and Japan. I’ve wanted to take the journey to the land of the rising sun since I was old enough to barely mutter JRPG. Those are the two places.

Let’s go.

So, for context, I saw Justice League last night and... I really loved it? Like, I loved everything about it?? I feel crazy, like I’m Greg Miller defending Batman V. Superman??

But I think if I saw it again or I took the step back, I could totally see why people dislike it so vehemently. I was honestly shocked because it... well, it felt like Justice League to me. It felt like it was out of an entirely different DC Cinematic Universe. And maybe my expectations were so low? I don’t know.

But anywhere, there are going to be spoilers in my response here, because Liza deserves the best response I can muster for this, since we’re JL believers.

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

Boy when Superman shows up and is just straight up like, good, smiling, wise cracking Superman (again, a totally different character than he has been up until then, but I didn’t care because fuck I miss good Superman) I was just grinning ear to ear. They managed to tap into Henry Cavill’s charisma and make him shine as someone I could actually believe is Superman. And just seeing him work with a team and work with other heroes, like, that’s Man of Steel I know and fucking love, and they just nailed it in this movie. It made me so happy. You have no Idea. It’s like I’ve waited my whole life for that.

So yeah, he was my favorite, but I liked everyone! Any second Wonder Woman was on screen was perfect. They made Batman feel so much more like Batman here it was ridiculous. I liked Cyborg a lot, and I feel like they gave him a great arc from self hatred in the beginning to “wanting to live” in the end. Aquaman and Flash were just a ton of fun.

For me it’s just under Wonder Woman since I thought they just nailed Wonder Woman so well, but I really really loved it, as I’m sure you could tell. I was just a happy kid grinning that my heroes were finally on screen together, and it was rad.

Haha oh my god okay I don’t think I can pick ten different fingers, but I was thinking about this when I grabbed the question. Probably like, someone who’s fingers have powers, like Emperor Palatine or something? I guess Cole McGraff would be the real world video game equivalent, but someone who would let me shoot lightening out of my fingertips. If I could just choose one then one of theres and then the others from all the characters in Until Dawn.

Because why not

#AgentOfChaos

Eh.

It’s fine.

Honestly, the lesson you shared with me Tyler has been a really great one. For folks curious, it’s about Mountain Tops. It’s a great analogy to the higher moments we find ourselves in in life.

https://twitter.com/acegiak/status/924762544383782912

That and one I’ve taken to heart over the last two or so years, which is just to listen, and to care, and to pay attention. You don’t need to interject your opinion in every controversial topic, and far too many people do. But that doesn’t exempt you from paying attention.

We don’t have anything concrete in the works, but we have a lot of ideas. I think PAX East is something to expect us at, and I think more written work in the future is something to anticipate soon too. Not more from who is there, but more and new voices. Exciting voices too, if we can muster it.

I’d totally be down to play Overwatch for 24 hours. I just love the loop of that game. I’d probably hate myself and it at around the 18 hour mark, but I think I could still muster it.

Least willing to do would probably be something best experienced in short bursts, like a Spelunky, or a Flint Hook, or a Cuphead, Some games require breaks and I think those fit into that fine. Doesn’t make them worse or bad by any means, but when you can walk away and come back better rested, those are good picks.

The Checklist

I have been essentially off reading stuff, but it’s worth shouting out a thing my best friend Jazz wrote today, about ExtraLife 2017.

http://brazenbebop.blogspot.com/2017/11/extra-life-2017.html

She is getting into the writing of the content, and I’m excited to support her and see what she comes up with.

I am tired again, but excited to finish some things I’m working on.

Thanks for sticking with me, and for the unending support.

And for taking care of me.

Much love.

Keep it real.

#video games #gaming #extralife #assassin's creed origins

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cooljazsheepie · 8 years ago

Text

Webcomic Creator Interview with Kosmic of Feast for a King

Hi, all! I usually don’t post my webcomic creator interviews on this account, but this one is special since the comic is explicitly NSFW. The creator, Kosmic, is super awesome though and deserved an interview anyway. Check it after the cut.

Me: Please introduce yourself.

Kosmic: My name is Kosmic and I make two comics currently, Feast for a King and Eggshells. Although I mostly focus on Feast for a King! Which is a really graphically violent/sexual story about man eating worms in a sci-fi setting. I started it in September 2014 and I’ve basically been working every day on it since then.

Me: What made you pick sci-fi?

Kosmic: I’ve always really loved sci-fi stuff!! Many of my favorite stories/movies are sci-fi or have some robot/alien elements to them. I think it’d be more accurate to say that sci-fi picked me because FFAK was inspired by a dream I had which had some very strong sci-fi elements and visuals. I think at the time when I started FFAK, I was also feeling really inspired by the first two Terminator movies and wanted to like, take the elements about that i found successful in those movies and include them in my own story! I liked how much the characters struggled and how hopeless it felt to face their enemies, but they kept going anyway despite being so afraid. I also had a bunch of stories/characters I worked on sometimes that was really just my own version of Trigun that I didn’t know what to do with and just...felt like building on more of that type of world. I think I first started those characters in like 2009 but they were basically just back-burner ideas for something eventually. I got a lot of story material like that!!

Me: Do you have a favorite part of the creative process when you're working on your comic?

Kosmic: Favorite part of he process...That is kinda difficult. There are so many parts that I enjoy that blend in with each other, it’s hard to determine when one step begins and the other ends. Brainstorming with music is always really nice, especially if it’s in the afternoon and I don’t have any responsibilities to worry about. I do a lot of self RP too. I can go anywhere in the story I feel like and just let my mind explore freely!! Its always very fun/exciting to discover things I didn’t expect or when some connection suddenly clicks that opens up new doors of ideas! SO.. daydreaming is my favorite part, I suppose. That feels kinda basic to say, but I can’t think of anything that tops it!

Me: Nooo. I totally get what you mean. Just letting ideas come to you is the best! You do color and black&white comics. Do you prefer one over the other?

Kosmic: I don’t really like the look of colored comics for the most part, honestly. I find it way too mentally distracting and I find it often takes me out of the story by making me too aware I’m reading something. So, I generally prefer the look of B&W comics when I’m the one reading. However! I personally find it boring to do for too long if I’m the one working!! I hate doing the same stuff for too long and black/white communicates a certain type of atmosphere to me, so after a while it can feel kinda stiff or limited when I don’t...really need to be?? I used to be determined to only use B/W ONLY EVER!!! and now I am allowing myself the freedom to experiment using some aspects of color to communicate my ideas and not worry about a consistent look too much lol. I sort of feel like my comics fall somewhere in the middle because they obviously DO use color but aren’t like the ‘typical’ full color comic, I guess? I dunno. That’s how i interpret it anyway. I am breaking my own rules of what looks good!!! If I had to make a decision, it would still B&W over color. :3

Me: Do the colors you pick have a certain significance for the characters? Like I know you have several named after them and the worms are colored by status.

Kosmic: Yes! Totally. They are super important! I have a whole color lore or color language I have built in the story. I dont really focus on like...every color in the rainbow though. Its mostly with basic default-y colors of Red/Yellow/Blue + Green. Red and Green being the most important ones I use in FFAK. I reflect a lot on their dynamic and parallel in several different ways with various designs and narratives, Crimson and Celadon’s relationship is also meant to be a direct translation of that conflict and bond I see with those two colors in the context of the story as well. Red and Green is like the ...PURE EXPRESSION OF LIFE AND DEATH!!! or something.

Me: For your worms, do you choose certain animals for them or you just go by whatever? Like how Paper is a bunny.

Kosmic: Nah, I mostly go by whatever and many worm designs are just improvised on the spot as these weird...animal chimera things. Paper is sort of an odd one out because she’s specifically very bunny-themed.

Me: Do you have a favorite character?

Kosmic: Crimson’s my absolute favorite character!! However... Knife is also very important. I guess he’s a close 2nd. I just have put a staggering amount of work/history into both characters they both kinda stand out a little bit from the rest lol.

Me: I know you said to just read whatever, but how does the use of gender shape your comic? As a creator.

Kosmic: I suppose it shapes a lot and yet it...doesn’t? IDK, it’s difficult to explain cause I think gender is a broad topic and I’m not sure what parts to focus on with it shaping? Haha. Most of my characters are just self-inserts really. It’s not really a conscious thing that I feel like I need to fit a quota of or something. I just sort of naturally feel the need to articulate feelings about my experiences using the characters sometimes. I also generally use my comic as a safe place to explore my thoughts about identity and sexuality. It makes the comic really personal/vulnerable/stressful sometimes, but I also feel like I understand myself a little easier. As much as I reflect on it I don't really have a concise answer or reason.. it’s just part of life! So there it is!

Me: Do you find that you attract or put off readers with the sex? Like do people expect a hentai situation? Or ignore the warning and get mad about it?

Kosmic: Yeah, it definitely rocks the boat a bit. I get a lot of polarized reactions from my sexual content. Mostly it’s supported and people understand and respect what I do with it, but I have definitely received negative comments or like, people feeling betrayed it was included at all. (Nothing upset people more than that period sex scene in chapter 11 for example .) It’s also often described as a vore fetish comic which I also...have mixed feelings with LMFAO. It just feels really misleading and simplifying the narrative. I think the fact that I include genitals in my drawings [means] people get the impression it’s supposed to be a smutty hentai comic, but then when they read it isn’t that either. So it’s hard for people to determine what it is. It pushes buttons, I guess. good and bad.

Me: Who is your intended audience or do you not have one?

Kosmic: I don’t really have an intended audience!!! I just draw it as much for me as possible. :D

Me: What made you decide on making a webcomic?

Kosmic: I’ve been determined to make comics since i was like...13 or 14? And webcomics are very freeing!! You just post it and go!! Nothing can stop you from making your story how you want and I love that.

Me: Do you have any advice for other creators?

Kosmic: Advice is tough... But I suppose it is important to establish your boundaries between yourself and the audience. Your enjoyment and relationship you have with yourself and your art is what is most important. So be careful not to burn yourself out on what people will think/say/ask and it’s OK to feel overwhelmed and over-stimulated sometimes. Even when it’s positive attention, it can still be just as stressful and draining. I find that’s the hardest part about making a comic is learning how to deal with the reception rather than making the comic itself lmao. So yeah! Draw and write what you want! Always. But also give yourself a private place only for you, so you can reflect on your journey. :3

Me: That's great advice. Do you plan on making a print version?

Kosmic: My friend Cameron made Chapter 1 into a book and mailed it to me as a surprise. But besides that, I have no actual plans or real desire to make a printed version.It seems like it would take a lot of work to do and I’m very lazy. Maybe some sort of art book would be more ideal, but who knows!

Me: Will you be attending any cons or making any merch?

Kosmic: I went to one con in 2015! I sold like...a single poster I think. It was fun (especially because a friend from Canada was staying and helped tremendously with it,I also got interviewed the first time there!) but not exactly the ideal experience. Another friend also made keychains for me of the characters that we sold online. But, besides that, I don’t have any cons planned. I want to make t-shirts in the future, but I’m so slow to do these things. I just really need to take the plunge, but I generally get intimidated by money making stuff!!

Me: Do you do art full time?

Kosmic: Yes LOL. FFAK is basically my life. I do educational/instructional flash animations as well for the monies, but I am pretty broke most of the time. If it weren't for Patreon, IDK what I’d do!! I am so thankful for it.

And that’s it. I already linked Kosmic’s Tumblr profile, but you can also follow them on Twitter for personal or comic updates! If you have any comments or questions, feel free to post here or submit an ask. If you would like to be interviewed for your own comic, contact me here for explicitly NSFW content or over on my literacy blog if your work doesn’t have content restrictions that make it NSFW. Please also feel free to suggest artists for me to interview.

#kosmicdream #kosmic #feast for a king #webcomic interview

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teabeb · 7 years ago

Note

Answer 1-60!

sorry for the format i havent done one of these in a while haha

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

no problem by chance the rapper, pusher by alt j, different names for the same thing by death cab for cutie, fake happy by paramore, riot coming by elliot smith, underway by fleetwood mac, and rosa by grimes

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

uh good question um i guess grimes rn

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17

“While watching a performance you may dissolve into laughter or cry real tears” .

4) What do you think about most?

BEING ALIVE IS SO WEIRD SENTIENCE IS SO WEIRD

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

lolol yeah a dude once changed up the lyrics to hey there delilah for me and sang it to me it was weird lol i still have a poem my first boyfriend wrote about me once its sweet

6) Do you have any strange phobias?

IM A HUGE GERMAPHOBE SO YEAH IM V UNCOMFORTABLE IN OTHER PEOPLES RESTROOMS

7) What's your religion?

i dont have one really, i grew up catholic tho

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to class or to work

9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

FUCK ok um death cab for cutie

10) What was the last lie you told?

“i have a headache sorry i dont mean to be so unresponsive”

11) Do you believe in karma?

heck yea

12) What does your URL mean?

i enjpy tea avery much and im a beb so

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

my biggest weakness is being so open to other people; my biggest strength is my kindness i think lol (even tho people dont think im nice all the time)

14) Who is your celebrity crush?

um idk if id really consider it a crush but im in love with travis scott haha

15) How do you vent your anger?

usually on tumblr where no one i know irl really follows me

16) Do you have a collection of anything?

i have like 50 coffee cups on my desk rn haha

17) Are you happy with the person you've become?

i think so far yeah i need to work on things still and i am but for the most part im p cool

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

i hate the sound of chewing; i love the sound of a fan or the ac

19) What's your biggest "what if"?

what if i dont finish school and devote my life to something else completely

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

HECK YEAH THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE BITCHES

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

with my right arm my window and with my left my bed

22) Smell the air. What do you smell?

laundry detergent (noice)

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to?

SOME DUDES BATHROOM AT NU ALPHA KAPPA HOLY FUCK IT WAS DISGUSTING AND I WAS SO DRUNK I ALMOST SAT DOWN TO PEE THANKFULLY A FRIEN D CAUGHT ME BEFORE HAND HAHA

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?

uhhh (?) idk

25) To you, what is the meaning of life?

making the most of it i guess

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

i drive badly haha but no not really

27) What was the last movie you saw?

i watched moonlight finally the other night

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had?

my dad ran over my toe once with his car that was awful

29) Do you have any obsessions right now?

weed tbh lol

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

yeah :/

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

no but sometimes i know i should

32) What is your astrological sign?

sagittarius

33) What's the last thing you purchased?

some yogurt covered pretzels

34) Love or lust?

LOVE

35) In a relationship?

nah son im single and ready for pringles

36) How many relationships have you had?

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

i wear very short shorts and make eye contact with a stupid grin on my face

38) Where is your best friend?

idk

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

i was at my friends place finishing up a bowl

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i think so im v nice to my friends

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

i text my boss (who loves me) and explain that im gonna save the dog maybe take a picture beforehand to prove it then save the dog

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) i think id tell the people im close to not everyone tho b) i would do fun things idk id try to tell everyone thats ever had an impact on my life what theyve meant to me and try to do something important w my time. c) id be very afraid yeah

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

love by kendrick lamar

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

um idk uh i guess communication and respect

45) How can I win your heart?

honestly im so easy to win over tbh show me any sort of niceness and i already like you

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

what even is insanity tbh thats p subjective when you get down to it but for the questions sake i think it can but it shouldnt be expected and we shouldnt hold mentally ill people to a standard of creativity or anything ya know?

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

going to ucla

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

she was bitchin

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart."

soft

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?

yellow!

51) What is your current desktop picture?

moonie, a cat we had to give over

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

donald trump

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

idk i guess maybe if i think im a valuable person or important

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

telekinesis

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

i would just want some conversations ive had back or something idk

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

i dont wanna talk about it but know that it was bad lol

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

what like take a nap? idk i guess chance the rapper lol

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

ireland or something

59) Ever been on a plane?

yeh loved it

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.

um ok i guess grimes, chance the rapper, travis scott, justin bieber ( lol i know hes problematic dont come for me hes just hot alright) and rhianna.

lol hadnt done one of these in a while haha thx for asking and easing my boredom :-)

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comicteaparty · 6 years ago

Text

January 10th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on January 10th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST. The chat focused on Chasing Little Lights by Evelyn Shi.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Chasing Little Lights by Evelyn Shi~! (http://www.cllcomic.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene so far is probably...well okay its not really a scene so much as a moment in a scene. but when soren is walking around with valentin and noticing that valentin already has like 1 billion friends. i can just severely relate to soren in that moment. it has some fantastic facial expression and i just love the panel framing too. theres kind of this sense of isolation whenever you see valentin interact. and even though soren is there, you get this sense he is the one out of place. and i just really think the visual aspects alone express that kind of loner thing he has going on

eleviken

haha hi! i'm the creator of Chasing Little Lights and i'll stick around here for a bit!

RebelVampire

glad to have you, @eleviken ~!

eleviken

i'm really glad you took note of that scene! i wanted to capture their different personalities - they are friends and get closer as the comic progresses, but soren is quite shy and valentin is a classic extrovert! i think valentin doesn't intend to single out people sometimes but he can give off that vibe

RebelVampire

actually honestly i really love valentin and soren's interactions. theyre very different people, and usually when you have an extrovert and an introvert they kind of butt heads. but nah, in this case valentin is like "hey buddy lets get bubble tea" and to me thats just super refreshing to see.

another scene i really like was the fencing scene. it played out exactly how i imagined it would: elena got her arrogant butt beaten by someone with infinite more years experience. but what i like more is that she doesnt expect this. instead to retreats further into her belief that she just wasnt on her a-game. cause i feel this is a moment that is true to how a real person would act.

and i also like how it preps for future drama

eleviken

that's great!! yeah i wanted valentin to be a good hearted person inside, even if he gives off an absentmindedly popular vibe! but of course there will be fights between the characters>:)

mhm! for me the fencing scene got quite tedious actually, as i wanted to have the action play out in maybe a few weeks, rather than dragging on for over a month. but i can only make a page per week with school and all, so i'm glad you enjoyed that!

all the characters are good people despite their flaws- elena's is arrogance obviously. we'll see how her character growth plays out in the future!

RebelVampire

yeah theres no doubt in my mind theyre good people. but i love all their flaws because theyre poignant and feel super realistic. not to mention i really enjoy a lot of the elements that stress them out cause to a degree it helps to make them feel their age.

eleviken

mhm, in future chapters - especially chapter 4, which is coming up soon, there will be more dramatic/challenging obstacles in the plot that will test their innocence as kids

i wanted to emphasize the coming of age aspect in the story because some challenges force you to grow up

RebelVampire

exactly what im hoping for. cause these kids are def in a situation where their innocence is gonna be tested. what with all the air pollution.

this is not s etting of happiness

K.E. Karlsen

yeah thats a theme i like seeing in stories and i can definitely see it happening in yours, whatever may happen

can i ask where you got the idea of a setting with air pollution sickness?

mathtans

The little one is in bed for the moment, but I might have to leave unexpectedly. ^.^

Rebel - I kind of liked that scene with Valentin having all the friends, but I think what I liked more was kind of the follow-up, when Kasen sees Soren with Valentin and thinks, geez, that guy's already got a friend. Kind of a perspective shift.

eleviken

i live in Shanghai, China, and air pollution has been a pretty big issue here! it has gotten better over the past few years but it's still very polluted. air pollution is also quite bad in areas like mongolia and india and other parts of asia

mathtans

Nice closer to Chapter 2 also.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. The comic’s setting is one where air pollution can be rampant enough to cause a fatal sickness called contamina. Given Valentin’s blood-filled coughing, do you believe he has contracted contamina? Why do you believe he is so intent on hiding his symptoms, especially from Elena? If Valentin does have contamina, do you believe he’d come to accept it or continue to live in denial? Whether he has contamina or not, how do you believe the others will react to finding out about the coughing? Overall, do you think Valentin’s health problems will change the group’s opinions on how normalized the air pollution is? How might this change their future goals?

mathtans

Characters need flaws, or it's boring.

eleviken

mathtans - to add on i think soren and kasen are more similar in personality than elena and val, defnitely! but they face very different challenges, so i think it makes them different in that way too:))

i am also a high school student! so i think CLL is at least semi-autobiographical in many ways

mathtans

Truth, probably makes sense that the siblings are a bit alike too.

eleviken

on question 2 - i won't give away too much

mathtans

I've been reading most of your little author notes btw eleviken. I think it's very cool that you're using your location as a setting. (Also, your field trip to Mongolia sounds really interesting, possibly more interesting than it was, I dunno.)

eleviken

but of course val will eventually be forced to face the issue

mathtans

I think Valentin is hiding the symptoms for a couple reasons. One, if people start talking about it, that makes it "real" and harder to deny to himself. Second, since his parents died due to pollution, he doesn't want his sister to have to go through the same kind of thing again.

eleviken

what really!!! i love leaving the author notes as a record to what i'm up to that week, but i didn't expect too many people to take note! my trip was a culture/service trip and it was definitely interesting, as it was quite different from the big city life in Shanghai

RebelVampire

you mean val doesnt just gain immortality and thus is rewarded for his denial?

eleviken

Maybe val /is/ an immortal!

RebelVampire

see

confirmed

no problems here

O_O;;;;;

mathtans

I wonder if on some level, like subconsciously, Valentin is hoping for a breakthrough that helps out his own health. And Elena's dismissal of his attempts at research may not be helping with that (though I get why she does it).

Valentin - There can be only one.

eleviken: Yup, I'm one of those readers who tends to check out Q&As and Author Notes and stuff. In particular I was interested because I've never been to China or anywhere in the far East. Cool!

(I'm also a high school teacher, so there's that side of me, pleased to see students doing creative things. )

RebelVampire

i honestly feel the denial is more for valentin's sake than elena's sake. because hes what, 14? 14 is not the age where youre ready to accept mortality. 14 is the age where you believe youre super invincible and nothing ever bad will happen to you ever. can do whatever you want for you are the immortal one. and to accept he has contamina is to accept that whatever he had planned in his future is now kaput. and i just dont think hes ready for that, thus the hiding.

not to mention denial is the first stage of the 5 stages of grief

eleviken

valentin is definitely an optimist, and as the creator it even makes /me/ sad to see (or make lol) him suffer. he's definitely holding out hope for a miracle about his health, whether it turns out to be contamina or not. he is definitely at a point of denial, by filling his life with fun and his new friends to forget about the problem!

mathtans

Oh, the denial is probably more for his sake, you're right. The not telling might be for Elena's sake a bit though.

eleviken

mathtans - no way, that's amazing! Thank you for teaching, it's definitely hard work!

mathtans

Valentin is kind of the type to throw caution to the wind too, like I don't know the specifics of the disease, but he wanders around without a mask like that won't make the problem get worse faster or something.

Oh, thank you eleviken.

RebelVampire

eh i feel that the hiding it from others goes along with hiding it from himself. cause i get more the impression hes hiding it from the others to protect himself more than to protect the others. cause if he told elena, shes going to make a fuss and treat him like hes dying. and he cant very well live in denial about dying if everyone treats him like hes dying.

mathtans

That's a good point too, Rebel. (Who knows what's going on in his head!)

RebelVampire

although im sure there isnt no element about protecting elena cause of what happened to their parents. i just think self preservation is the overriding factor

eleviken

val and elena definitely have the petty sibling dynamic, but with their parents gone they are also looking out for each other. elena isn't good at expressing her emotions, though, so it's not directly stated that she's protective! i think part of his not-wearing-a-mask-stupidity is denial as well. as someone who's inclined to be happy, Val really wants to hold on to that happiness!

mathtans

Maybe Soren will come up with the cure. Can't kick him out of school if he does that.

eleviken

Ah soren's grade issue is quite important too! i think the pressure to achieve perfect grades is a reality for many students, and i especially see it at my school.

RebelVampire

although tbh i get the hint of a stigma? like at least that guy in the bathroom was kind of...apprehensive when he thought valentin might have contamina. even tho its established contamina is not contagious, its kind of got the cancer affect it seems. where everyone is like eww gross stay away from me sick person. and for an extrovert like valentin, that would probably be devastating. to be avoided because of something like being sick.

mathtans

Speaking as a teacher, I feel like society (well, North American society at least) is starting to put way too much emphasis on grades, and not enough emphasis on, y'know, actually learning stuff. Students tend to ask me "how can I get an 80%" not "how can I understand this unit better".

Rebel: Good point. It's said to not be contagious, but if people think that only poorer types who can't afford to replace their masks get the disease, that might be part of it.

eleviken

that's definitely very true at my school - as an asian school with an american system, the pressure to get 4.0s, have extracurriculars, and get into ivies is supersupersuper high. i'm under that pressure myself!

RebelVampire

haha that emphasis on grades over learning has been in the us for a looooong time. but now you have helicopter parents so a good portion of teachers in the us are just giving the grades anyway. because administration wont back the teachers up in the face of angry parents.

but i digress.

eleviken

mathtans - i'm going to admit i never thought about the "poorer people" part, that's very smart!

mathtans

You never know what will be read into things, feel free to run with it.

Yeah, it's not as bad here in Canada, but we still have some standardized testing. Anyway.

Hope you're able to weather the pressure, eleviken. The fact that you can keep up with a comic shows pretty good time management skills.

RebelVampire

i definitely feel that valentin's dilemma will make all the kids confront the air pollution. especially elena cause seeing another person she loves get contamina has to make her confront the idea that air pollution is bad and they shouldnt just go "nah its fine and normal were kids"

eleviken

thanks mathtans! i'm managing to keep up :))

i think high school can definitely be a bubble from real-world issues, and val's problem is forcing him to face the real world. that's a big coming of age part!

RebelVampire

yeah and i definitely love that about this story. that theres this whole conflict and theme of the child bubble world vs the actual world with all its huge problems that are overwhelming to deal with

mathtans

It's one of those things too where, if you see it every day, it just becomes normal. Why confront something that's normal? Whereas for the transfer students, it's not a normal thing, so maybe they can help with that.

Superjustinbros

peeks in

eleviken

hi!

mathtans

Good point, eleviken.

Superjustinbros

Hello there~

Just thought I'd drop in till the end

and this comic of yours is pretty interesting, @eleviken

eleviken

speaking of that, i am heading to class! i will still be here for the most part, though. :))

thanks!

Superjustinbros

You're welcome! Kudos too for representing all these different countries

(And shoutouts to Soren's hair)

RebelVampire

hey super~!

Superjustinbros

Hi Rebel!

RebelVampire

good luck in class, eleviken!

Superjustinbros

Secodned!

RebelVampire

and thats also true math. i definitely get that impression from val and elena

mathtans

All the best with classes!

RebelVampire

that theyre just so used to it they cant even fathom what clean air is like even

too normal

just everyday life

mathtans

Yeah, the choice to have a bunch of countries was cool. I like the little flags in the dialogue bubbles.

RebelVampire

although speaking of normalization though, i really loved that dialogue piece where kasen was saying "did you hear about that celebrity who died of contamina" to elena and elena just said what a shame i liked their music.

like man

mathtans

I'm also impressed that Valentin can already speak 5 languages.

RebelVampire

thats great characterization on how they view the world

yeah

valentin dying is a tragedy

dawgofdawgness

Is this still going? For CLL

mathtans

Rebel - Great point there.

RebelVampire

cause he seems super smart

yes it is~!

we still have another hour left

eleviken

DAWG!!! HEY!!!

dawgofdawgness

HALLO

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Kasen and Soren are both characters who have to deal with academic and parental pressure for various reasons. Do you believe Soren will be able to maintain a 3.5 grade average? Or, do you think even with the help of the others he’ll continue to struggle and fall behind? Whether he fails or succeeds, do you believe the school will continue to honor their scholarship agreement? In the long run, do you believe Soren will be able to help pull his family out of poverty with his potential academic success? Kasen, being the headmaster’s daughter, has to deal with similar pressures. Do you believe that Kasen will be able to convince her father to let her go to art school? How might she accomplish this? Alternatively, do you believe she’ll give into her father’s reasoning? Lastly, how might these similar struggles help or hurt the groups’ relationships with each other?

dawgofdawgness

I saw your wall post lmao

eleviken

rebel - ngl i added that dialogue in later, probably about a year into the comic. i really wanted to emphasize the air pollution part!

dawgofdawgness

I thiiiiink that Soren is gonna have to make some sort of sacrifice to maintain his GPA

eleviken

ok i love these questions! i won't spoil but it's great to see this discussion

dawgofdawgness

I think what's keeping Sore n back is his self confidence lol, that's one of the things about his character - he's always putting himself down and getting really anxious about everything

Superjustinbros

That's pretty much what happens at all these CTP's

dawgofdawgness

and Kasen , she's a bright student but needs to be pushed - what's holding her back, I think, is inexperience

mathtans

Just want to add, I think all the characters have parental issues, even the other two mains because of how their parents passed on. It's an interesting theme.

Superjustinbros

That's sad.

eleviken

yeah! kasen is quite smart, but she doesn't want to ~try~ at school because she wants to do art. as a creator i think she still should to an extent, but the pressure from her father is quite high

Superjustinbros

I can relate to that so much

dawgofdawgness

oooh that's relatable

mathtans

Dawg: Yeah, I'm reminded of the "reading difficulties" thing that was alluded to, and how the book he was reading at one point said "you're going to fail" or words to that effect. So definite self confidence issues. I wonder if Soren does have some kind of learning disability though, like dyslexia or something? Or maybe just has trouble with English, is better with German.

eleviken

me too! i don't have plans to go to art school, but the pressure to do well is quite high

dawgofdawgness

ohhh right yeah

Superjustinbros

I was good in school but lots of times I would just zone out and think of making art/games because it gets really tedious.

RebelVampire

i definitely think soren has self confidence issues, but i dont think thats the only thing holding him back persay. i think hes probably suffering a bit from actually being educationally behind. because private schools have way more intense curriculum and generally better educational programs than public schools. so its like someone whose only taken algebra that now they have to do calculus.

dawgofdawgness

Soren maybe has a language barrier as well? Since he's going to a prestigious college out of the country

eleviken

mathtans - nope! english is just not soren's native language

yeah, and ASI is a very competitive school

Superjustinbros

But yeah just saying I can relate to that feeling of wanting freedom

mathtans

I also don't feel like Soren will be able to pull off the 3.5, but that maybe there will be extenuating circumstances (from his friends advocating for him to Soren discovering a cure for the disease) that might prevent him from being kicked out.

Superjustinbros

Perhaps

dawgofdawgness

wait what's soren's gpa at right now?

or is it unknown

mathtans

Rebel: That's also a good point, about private schooling.

RebelVampire

he mentioned it

its under 3.5

close but under

eleviken

under!

dawgofdawgness

oh ok

he'll be fine pfpfttt

RebelVampire

3.2

dawgofdawgness

I have a feeling that he's going to reach that GPA through hard academic studies, and then get kicked out for smoking weed or something

RebelVampire

http://www.cllcomic.com/comic/83/

Superjustinbros

These feels

eleviken

HAHAHA SOREN SMOKING WEED!!

it seems like the most unlikely thing he'd do but at the same time i can see him doing it

RebelVampire

i think he can do it cause hes super close to a 3.5. so he only has to do a smidgen better in a few classes and just not do worse in others

Superjustinbros

Meanwhile I'm looking at these pages and just feeling sorry for Soren

RebelVampire

this is what soren will do in college when he find out high school was worthless and basically a cruise ship

Superjustinbros

I second that

RebelVampire

buuuuuut

i also feel if he hits 3.5 theyre gonna raise the bar on him

and say "good job soren. now get a 4.0 or we kick you out"

cause i feel like that counselor would not care at all about the struggles and triumphs he went through to even get a 3.5

Superjustinbros

That's harsh.

RebelVampire

i mean not that im hoping thats the direction

but that counselor gives me bad vibes man

like theyre just waiting and hoping to kick soren out

Superjustinbros

Yeah.

RebelVampire

i feel bad for soren that its being put on him to pull his family out of poverty

especially cause his academic success doesnt even gurantee that

getting a job is a whole other ballpark

dawgofdawgness

With Kasen, wasn't it also implied that she has social problems on top of academic problems?

I remember there beeing a scene where she looks out the window and is sad i think

RebelVampire

idk if she has social problems? she seems better adjusted than soren socially speaking. although shes definitely less outgoing than elena and val

although i do get the impression shes maybe not the best at expressing herself?

like i kind of feel she holds back some

dawgofdawgness

oh right

ShaRose49

Hi!! I really wanted to make it to this chat cause I read all of the comic. I think poor Valentin is misguidedly thinking he’s being selfless in that he doesn’t tell anyone. And he probably doesn’t think it’s contamina

Superjustinbros

Oh hello there. ^^

ShaRose49

Hullo!

mathtans

Back. Little one was fussing in her crib.

Superjustinbros

Welcoem back!

dawgofdawgness

Yupp, Val's gonna have to accept his sickness or else he will have consequencesss

Superjustinbros

Hope the little one's doing alright @mathtans

RebelVampire

tbf val's acceptance is irrelevant to the consequences

dawgofdawgness

I gotta go, I have to do AP bio (which is a course that Soren takes) no wonder he has a 3.2 GPA the homework is ass

mathtans

I was wondering about that counselor, if she had hearing problems or something. Because the first time we meet her, we see Soren knock at the door, he comes in, and then she says "knock next time". I was thinking, like... he did? Where were you?

dawgofdawgness

goodluck @eleviken !! goodbyee

mathtans

SJB: Oh yeah, she's fine, just not much of a sleeper.

Superjustinbros

Bye!

mathtans

Dawg: Best with it!

(I was never into bio.)

RebelVampire

good luck dawg!

i dont think the counselor has a hearing problem

she was probably just focused

which i get

when im focused i legit cancel out all sound

Superjustinbros

aah I see, Math.

mathtans

ShaRose: Interesting point, about the being selfless thing.

RebelVampire

i think the counselor has a being a bitch problem cough cough

ShaRose49

@mathtans yeah I guess

mathtans

Prejudiced against Germans.

ShaRose49

Yeah that counsellor sucked

RebelVampire

but im sure she has reasons and stuff

Superjustinbros

I'd believe it if she did have a bitch problem

RebelVampire

but admittedly as someone who was as socially anxious as soren at that age

i wouldve been in tears if i had knocked and someone's reply to me was "knock first"

so that moment specifically angered me to no end

in the good way

mathtans

Yeah, character feels.

ShaRose49

Yeah I felt sorry for Soren. My Dad is German so I guess that makes me half

Superjustinbros

Soren is nothing but feels

ShaRose49

And nice hair

Superjustinbros

yes the hair too

I just want to hug him.

mathtans

I want to see Soren do some of his music stuff.

ShaRose49

Same

Superjustinbros

Secodning the music stuff

ShaRose49

Also the hug

eleviken

i love drawing soren's hair!

it's my favorite

RebelVampire

im personally more interested in seeing kasen and art stuff. cause just cause she wants to go to art school doesnt necessarily mean shes good enough to get in.

which actually would be an ironic twist

Superjustinbros

That would be interesting

Also great to hear Eleviken!

I love drawing characters with fun/wild hair myself, it can be pretty fun sometimes, is a biiiit hard.(edited)

mathtans

That's true. Kasen's possibly my fave character, just because she's in a tight spot by virtue of her father, which she can't do anything about.

ShaRose49

But the pollution aspect was really intriguing to me. It’s a real problem in China. But I can relate a little because here in Canada there have been so many fires in the summer especially BC that the air is all smoky all the time and some people have respiratory issues. I could be wrong but I think some people died because of it or at least got sick. I wasn’t bothered by the air when I visited bc

mathtans

Oooh, I should be shipping Kasen and Elena.

ShaRose49

@eleviken Hi there, author!! I was hoping you’d be here

Superjustinbros

That sounds scary, ShaRose

ShaRose49

But I was surprised that the air in BC didn’t really bother me at all

It was a little. I hope next summer isn’t bad. I’m sure it was very scary and awful for the people in BC @Superjustinbros

Superjustinbros

yeah...

Hopefully it's not so bad next year

mathtans

Roommate ships are best ships. ^.^

ShaRose49

Yeah. The news said the pollution because of the smoke was as bad as the air quality in China this summer

Superjustinbros

...Jesus christ.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Despite her generally good nature, Elena has her own sorts of troubles to deal with. Do you think Elena should have been captain of the fencing team as she believes she should have? Why or why not? Do you think Fenya views Elena with the same disdain Elena has for her, or might Fenya feel differently? Regardless, how might their rivalry affect their teamwork? Overall, do you think that Fenya and Elena might be able to patch things up and become friends? As shown recently, Elena also has to deal with her parents having died from contamina. Assuming she finds out, how might Valentin’s situation change her opinion about her parents’ work (if at all)? In general, how might Elena’s experiences at school change her as a person?

ShaRose49

I think Fenya might be just ignorant but I could be reme,Bering her wrong

RebelVampire

i really love kasen and the dad's dynamics as far as the future goes. cause as a child i def was kasen, wanting to pursue that creative dream. but as an older adult i actually get a lot more with the dad is coming from cause creative pursuits are a hard path. which is why im curious how talented kasen is in the first place. cause she might come to realize that even if she wants to art, she may just not have the talent for it

K.E. Karlsen

no i dont think she should have been captain of the fencing team.

ShaRose49

I liked fenya she was big and strong and had green hair

Superjustinbros

Green Hair is always good

K.E. Karlsen

the girl who won (apologies its been awhile since i read, i have been reading since its updates and havent had time for a reread and forgot her name ;;;) i think it was best she won, she clearly knew more what she was doing

mathtans

Oh yeah! I wanted to mention that was real clever, having Fenya and Elena meet early on, then have them become rivals later. Though I don't think Fenya really sees Elena as a rival or with disdain or anything, like just, there's this other girl who fences decently but doesn't watch where she's going, whatever.

ShaRose49

@K.E. Karlsen @Superjustinbros yup yup

K.E. Karlsen

oh is her name fenya?

RebelVampire

yeah i agree. elena did not deserve to be captain. especially cause she was a sore loser.

yes her name is fenya

ShaRose49

Yup

K.E. Karlsen

ok thats who im talking about sorry!! im bad at remembering names

RebelVampire

thats okay

no shame in getting help with names

mathtans

I'm also bad. It's why I have the cast page up in another window. (For a teacher, I'm soooo bad at names.)

Superjustinbros

I'm bad at names in general

ShaRose49

I forgot too the question helped me remember

RebelVampire

fenya is a passable offense anyway cause shes more a side chara than main cast. so her name isnt mentioned a whole ton compared to others

i kind of agree that i actually dont think fenya views elena as a rival at all. i kind of feel fenya is just like "oh yeah its that teammate i wonder why shes glaring at me how weird."

Superjustinbros

Perhaps

RebelVampire

and that any rivalry elena has just created in her own mind

cause the world revolves around her

Superjustinbros

Plot twist: it does

ShaRose49

Just what I was thinking

mathtans

She's also an immortal.

ShaRose49

I really want the story to show more of the streets on China, like I’d love for them to have a downtown scene, and I want to see more of the relationship between the brother and sister characters

I want to visit China someday

mathtans

Actually it's funny, when I first went to the comic I saw the latest update, with Elena talking about how they were going to get Soren's grades up, and I thought, huh, is she their mother or TA or something but why are they all laughing. Made more sense in context. All that to say, Elena does have leadership skills in terms of motivating people, but I'm not sure about delegation and such.

eleviken

hey yeah!

mathtans

It would be interesting to see more China.

eleviken

rebel - kasen's artsy side has yet to eb elaborated on

Superjustinbros

Yeah, do some more worldbuilding and more excuses for epic landscape shots (edited)

RebelVampire

id be interested in seeing more of china as well. though more to see how the world in general deals with the pollution. like i feel thered be other world things goes on besides the masks.

math- i do feel like elena has potential as a leader, but i also think she lacks the humility to do so. i think as she is right now shed be a self absorbed leader. so concerned with her own skills and showing off than helping anyone else on the team to get better

ShaRose49

Like Leonardo ughhh

Superjustinbros

And I just realized that's why everyone wears the masks on the main visual(edited)

ShaRose49

But she’s not all bad

Hooboy ya just noticed now?! Lol it’s alright

mathtans

Good point, humility's a problem.

RebelVampire

nah i dont think elena is all bad at all

i just dont think shes ready to be captain

mathtans

SJB: It's because it's Halloween.

RebelVampire

cause arrogance is a big thing to work through and elena isnt confronting her own flaw as of yet

ShaRose49

@RebelVampire wow you seem wise

I’m not being sarcastic sorry if that’s weird

Superjustinbros

lol

Guess I'll wear a "sick" mask on Halloween

ShaRose49

RebelVampire

thank you i think XD idk if id label myself as wise, but i appreciate the sentiment

Superjustinbros

That'll scare the trick-or-treaters real good

RebelVampire

ya know the comic did give me halloween vibes from teh banner. so before i read it i thought it was gonna be some spooky halloween thing

ShaRose49

Yeah me too!

Superjustinbros

I did not think that at all, I jsut thought "why is everyone wearing masks"

ShaRose49

But I was pleasantly surprised. No offence but the other comics I tried were all too dark for me

mathtans

Huh. I didn't think about it at all tbh.

Just figured there'd be an explanation and there was.

RebelVampire

i was also guessing post apocalyptic so i was pleasantly surprised it wasnt that either

did not expect a coming of age story

ShaRose49

We got another wise person here

Haha I was kidding mostly I meant that @mathtans knew and we didn’t

Or well he guessed better

mathtans

Incidentally, any thoughts on the title? "Chasing Little Lights"? Like, I wonder if it's sort of metaphorical, like you need to chase after the people or subjects who bring light into your life... or if it's more about the idea of chasing grades and things, thinking they'll bring enlightenment or something.

ShaRose49

I think it’s a compelling drama I just hope it doesn’t get so sad it’s depressing

Maybe there are actually little lights that help stop pollution or something and that’s why they’re chasing them! CRAZY THEORY TIME

RebelVampire

i assumed it was metaphorical about chasing dreams or something

thats what val was talking about that elena didnt want to listen to

they separated the lights form the pollution

ShaRose49

I can’t remember that very well. What Lights?

Superjustinbros

All these wise people

mathtans

Oooh, didn't think of the pollution analogy.

ShaRose49

@Superjustinbros We a buncha sages we are

Superjustinbros

\o/

ShaRose49

I’m too into science fiction so my theory is probably too fun for this kind of story

Superjustinbros

Nothing like a tea party for all the Sages to gather

ShaRose49

Not that it sin’t fun

Superjustinbros

also Science Fiction is good

mathtans

Oh yeah, we haven't had enough crazy theories yet. So, Kasen is going to practice her art by drawing nude models of Elena, which is how the two of them end up dating.

ShaRose49

@Superjustinbros amen

mathtans

The modelling also helps with the fencing, in terms of seeing how Elena's weight is balanced.

ShaRose49

@mathtans I was thinking more about crazy theories about the pollution aspect I guess

RebelVampire

tbh i ship elena and fenya more

gotta have that slow burn rivalry turned to romance

Superjustinbros

we setting ships on sail already?

mathtans

Rebel: I am okay with that.

I still find Kasen precious though. Hope there's more of her. That was a cool image of her to start off Chapter 3.

Superjustinbros

Also before the comic tea party ends, I'd like to wish you luck with developing the story further, @eleviken. It's really developing well so far.

RebelVampire

they can bond when elena needs fencing help and asks for some private lessons

mathtans

Agreed.

About the developing that is, not the fencing. Though that'd be fun too.

RebelVampire

kasen is adorable though. i really like her hair in particular for some reason. its so fluffy and bouncy seeming

mathtans

"Don't fence me in."

ShaRose49

I don’t think this story is super romantic I’m not a huge romance person

@mathtans great pun

RebelVampire

oh its not. i will be surprised if theres romance at all. but shipping can be part of fun theory time

mathtans

True, I don't see the comic veering heavy into romance. (I just like adding yuri romance wherever I can.)

I also wonder if we'll see Soren's sister again. Like maybe one of the others will end up talking to her.

ShaRose49

I guess I like adding cartoony scifi wherever I can

Superjustinbros

No probs with that

ShaRose49

I loooove stories about siblings

mathtans

In fact maybe Soren and his sister is a parellel to the relationships between the Lins? Hmm.

ShaRose49

@Superjustinbros thanks I think you and I would get along fine XD scifi in me bloood

@mathtans oooh, I like this theory

eleviken

i am currently in class but i want to say thanks you all for coming!

Superjustinbros

You're welcome!

Glad to be here. ^^

ShaRose49

@eleviken thank you for coming and giving us something to talk about!

RebelVampire

i would like to see soren's sister again. cause theres gotta be a degree of tension there since soren can come off as the favorite since hes the one who gets to go to the prestigious academy

mathtans

Thanks for putting it out there, eleviken! (Also, maybe you shouldn't be messaging in class while the teacher is talking, the way Valentin got called out. )

I tease.

RebelVampire

thank you as well, eleviken~!

eleviken

i wil catch up later, sorry i couldnt participate!

mathtans

Rebel: Good point about that.

Superjustinbros

Have a good rest of the day/evening, Eleviken!

mathtans

I also wonder a bit why the headmaster's from Sweden, if they're in China. I wonder if that will be addressed.

Anyway, best with the comic!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Evelyn Shi, as well, for making Chasing Little Lights. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Evelyn Shi’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read the Comic: http://www.cllcomic.com/

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #chasing little lights #evelyn shi

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theladyofthewest · 8 years ago

Text

I’m an emotional mess so :)

A lot of these posts have been going around and I have had the distinct honour to have been tagged in some myself. Firstly, a huge thank you to anyone who did tag me, I can’t begin to describe how happy you made me by doing that.

Secondly, one thing I want to say is that a lot of this list is comprised of people I hold very dear to my heart especially considering that even though our interests may vary and I may not post about things they enjoy anymore, they’re still here and really that shows me that I have friends who are here for me, who like me, and not any content I post so for that I’d like to extend another huge thank you. i can’t begin to describe to all of you what that means to me :) <3

@wreathoflaurels : Oh mannnnn haha where do I begin??? Umm Laura is like literally one of my best friends and I cant begin to say how relieved I am that I mustered up the courage to talk to her that one day cause its been nothing but love and support and caring for each other since. i cant understand how someone i have never been able to lay eyes on in person could have so much of my heart and so much of my trust. I would lay down my life for you in a second and i dont think I get nearly enough opportunities to show you that. You are such a giving and supportive person and I truly count myself privileged to have been able to meet someone like you and count you as one of the people nearest to my heart. I love you and I want nothing but the best for you.

@gobodosama: Someone else that I count myself so blessed to have mustered up the courage to talk to omg. I remember the first time I spoke to Abbey was on one of her streams and she was so kind and supportive that I immediately thought ‘well fuck she’ll never like you.’ But!!!! by some miracle, she did and I get to say, with so much pride that Abbey is one of my best friends. Abbey is someone I have been able to pour my heart out to and never feel like my words will be misconstrued or misinterpreted. I truly feel like the best version of myself when I am speaking to you and i CANt begin to thank you enough for that. My super talented, kind, loving, beautiful best friend. Stay awesome, I love you.

@sankontesu :Sometimes I sit there and wonder to myself how I, hell the world, got so lucky to have someone like Lali. honestly. Lali is easily one of the kindest and most generous and open hearted people I have ever met. Lali, I remember being absolutely floored that you would spend your own money on commissioning art of Reiko for me as a birthday present. That you hadn’t even met me and you were willing to spend your own money on me. We were so close to being able to meet in NYC and do I wish to god it happened so i could give you such a huge hug and thank you for being you. People can say whatever they want about Lali but let it be known that in all my life I have never met someone like you, someone who is so good to the core and deserving of nothing but love. I love you, even if we havent spoken in so loooongg, and I hope you are always smiling cause you deserve nothing but .

@mirsan :Angie is someone that I could talk about for days. I would never get tired of announcing to the world how much Angie means to me as a person and how beautiful and giving and caring and supportive she is. There have been too many occasions for me to quote to anyone where I have felt like Angie would take on the world for me and there have been times where she has done just that. And whats most amazing about Angie is that its not just me or any of her friends that she would do that for, Angie would do that for anyone. That is what makes her such an amazing person. Angie i have been able to cry to you, cry with you, laugh with you, and listen to horrific 10 minute voice notes with you, do dramatic live readings of horrific fics with you - you name it. I will never forget that when I was scared of seeing someone to talk to, it was you who talked me through what the initial process would be and gave me the courage to go through with it. i cant thank you enough for that. I love you so much you are literally my life coach, be mirsan af and happy always, i will fight anyone who contradicts that.

@narkik : amandaaaaaa omg. Amanda you were probably my first friend on here. The Office AU haha and I remember thinking that you were waaaaay too cool for me and lo and behold I am correct. You are such an intelligent and beautiful person, so easy to talk to and i love that i can go months without talking to you and yet the next time we do talk its like it was just yesterday. idk what it is that makes me feel like I could talk to you about anything but know that i would literally fight the entire universe in order to put a smile on your face because you deserve that. Its weird how someone can be the opposite of me in so many ways and yet we can still be so similar. I love you and I want to always write smut that makes you cry in public places from trying not to smile haha, please stay happy always!!!

@aaya-ranjha-mera: omgggg you are a wild card entry! I can not begin to fathom how close I have gotten to you in such a short time. I can honestly say that I never expected for you to become a daily fixture in my life where it feels weird if we arent talking about one thing or the other. I love that i can always count on you to understand how im feeling and offer perspectives on it that i didnt even imagine. I love how I dont have to explain things to you, you seem to just understand them and sometimes its like you’re just on the same brainwave as me haha (our twins moments are far too many to count). You understand me and my love for certain,,,, characters,,,, *sigh* in a way that makes me feel a little more sane at the end of the day anD i LOVE you for that. I adore that you trust me enough to talk to me about things because the feeling is 10000% mutual and I would fight the entire planet for you!

@smilebomber : OH RINNE.. soMETIMES i think about you and just get really emotional because you are such a pURE soul and you honestly must be protected at all costs. When i think sunshine and happiness and the warmth you get from being around someone you love, I think of you. You’re so strong and loving and beautiful and TALENTED. Is there anything you cant do?? i think not. I love that youre always so considerate of everyone around you, you’re always thinking of others and their feelings and i want you to know that I am always always always thinking of you and i have so much love in my heart for you. you have been there to ask me if i’m okay when I’m feeling down, to leave me nice asks and pick me up messages and I can’t find words to tell you how much that means to me. All I can really do is impress on you that I will always, in any circumstance, be here to do the same for you and if anyone ever tries to make you feel like you are anything short of an actual goddess I will come for their ass so help me god.

@hedevimaiyya: i want to say to you shivangi that i am guaranteed going to cry typing this and if you laugh i will kill you ok. Shivangi omg omg omg i have been able to tell you things that i would never tell anyone else, i have been able to cry to you in ways that i dont know if ive done to someone else. You understand me on a wavelength that I dont think even I can reach??? When i talk to you its like all my sadness and stress becomes background noise because we just have so much fun talking to each other. I share everything with you, be it art or fic or OCs and you make me feel like ive done something worth the nobel prize every single time and I cant tell you the fuzzy feeling i get every time you message me because you are associated with goodness and happiness to me and I just feel so strongly for you. I would murder anyone who hurt you and I have been on the verge of doing so more than once. i hope to god, more than anything, that you come down to ontario so i can hug you and scream or i come up to montreal and you can laugh at my french which, while being fluent and spoken with a correct accent, is probably horrible. I LOVE YOU BOOBOO ILL DIE FOR YOU.

@onikik : You know what michelle you wanna know the truth. i struggled a lot writing your paragraph. Because i dont know where to begin talking about you. Do i start with your talent, with the fact that youre the actual hand of god? do i start with your wonderful ideas and humour?? Or do i start with the heart of pure gold in your chest? You are honestly one of the most amazing people I have met hands down, you are always ready to spread love and care and be there for other people. You - god Im getting teary eyed thinking about it - you go out of your way to do things for other people and even when youre doing a commission you go out of your way to personalize it for the person and really make them feel like you did this for them and only for them, to make them happy. theres this loving intimacy in everything you do that makes everyone around you feel like you care about them and that you are there for them. idk how you do it honestly but i think youre an actual god. yOU must be i cant imagine there being any other way that you could be so beautiful and kind and loving and giving and caring and just pe r fect. I love you and id die for you and kill for you. know that always.

and to you beautiful, beautiful people: you are all such amazing people who have made me feel so loved and welcomed. I see your URLs on my dash and I immediately am filled with warmth and love because thats exactly what all of you represent to me!!!!!

@ohblackfire, @kristicles, @thequeenwillruletheboard, @oh-haseena, @inukag, @sinuyasha, @kongosoha, @ashcanvas, @macabre-and-cheese

to anyone I forgot: I am so incredibly sorry. Know that if your name isnt on this list anywhere, that doesnt mean you’re not in my heart and that I wouldnt give my actual life for you. I have a horrible memory and I give you my deepest and most sincere apologies. <3

#well .... this got really emotional bUT IM FILLED WITH LOVE TODAY #I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS BAR.GIF

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devicefulflightrisk · 8 years ago

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SOFIA: -she's hungry and uncomfortable and when she cries somebody always comes so...she's crying loudly from her crib-

FINN: -wakes up at the sound of sofia but jace is completely on top of him and a bunch of dead weight. it suddenly hits him that if he doesn't get sofia right away, colt will, and that would be...not good. so he's attempting to peel jace off of him WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT-

JACE: -ZZZZZZZ. he hasn't slept this peacefully in a long time. he's not going anywhere. he's probably also clinging a little. or a lot.-

COLT: -it's true, colt is up and at 'em in no time, but as he trots downstairs he notices some... strange signs. abandoned bowls of snack foods and a movie menu playing on loop. he squints... it isn't until he sees what appears to be jace's boots on the floor by the couch that he pieces it all together. AW HECK NAH. -

COLT: -fuming JUST a little, but unable to do anything about it because he has a baby to attend to first. it's okay sofia, uncle colt is here to snuggle you and go get you some breakfast. don't mind him if he snuffles your baby hair a little during the process. she smells good...-

SOFIA: -she ALWAYS smells good. she's just flopped against colt's chest and whining. she knows he'll take care of her-

FINN: jace -he hears sofia quiet and realizes that colt must have her and there's a certain kind of panc in his eyes as he tries to UN-CLING JACE-

COLT: -GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT. just kidding, he might be turning into a monster boy but he wouldn't eat sofia. he loves her too much.- There there... -heats up a bottle, readjusting her in his big arms so he can feed her when it's ready. he does this, but keeps glancing at finn's room... WAITING for him to show his face.-

JACE: Mmhh? -cracks eyes open, staring blearily at the warm body he's clinging to. that isn't normal. suddenly he remembers what happened and snaps awake.- Oh.......... -detaches when he sees how panicked finn is.-

SOFIA: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. she keeps whining until she can actually start drinking the bottle, and then her crying immediately stops and though her cheeks are covered in tears, she's much more content-

FINN: sorry it's just sofia -kisses jace's head so it's not too abrupt and he gets up to put his abandoned sweatpants on- i'll be back just FINN: hold on FINN: -he BUSTS OUT THE DOOR-

JACE: Okay.... -sits up and watches him go, processing everything again. ITS ALL STARTING TO SINK IN.-

COLT: -standing in the kitchen SQUINTING at finn.-

FINN: -finn looks disheveled- oh hi

FINN: i was uh

FINN: gonna get her

COLT: I've got it handled. -colt looks DISPLEASED.-

COLT: You musta been sleepin' pretty heavy.

FINN: yeah just a -DONT LOOK AT HIM LIKE THAT- just a little i guess

COLT: Did you have someone over last night? -glances at the living room.-

FINN: -looks back at the living room- oh

FINN: well jace was sneaking around the house late and i just

FINN: let him come in and thought it wouldn't be a good idea for him to keep exploring in the dark

FINN: so i let him have my bed

COLT: -he just stares at him, clearly not buying this story.- Finn.

FINN: -HE CANT STARE BACK AT THOSE EYES- yeah

COLT: -THESE BIG OL' EYES. they judge.- I know that ain't the whole story.

FINN: -just kind of looks guilty-

COLT: You know I don't wanna tell anybody how to live their lives.

COLT: ... But this is my house. And that's my baby brother. And if you're gettin' up to somethin' but you don't wanna own up to it, then I think you already know you're crossin' some boundaries there. -frowns, angry, but mostly just disappointed...-

SOFIA: -she's just so happy about eating honestly-

FINN: -hangs his head a little- i just -he sighs-

FINN: it was fine at first just normal and then like

FINN: uh

FINN: he said he had feelings for me and i basically told him i didn't feel the same way but he thought it was because i saw him as a baby but

FINN: i was telling him i didn't see him like a baby and then he was still upset so i told him he was attractive because well he is your whole family is but that's not the point

FINN: and he just wanted to

FINN: you know

FINN: regardless

FINN: so i said ok

COLT: -LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA ABOUT HIS WHOLE FAMILY BEING ATTRACTIVE-

FINN: -I AM SORRY IT'S TRUE-

COLT: -finn he's gonna put you in the ground-

FINN: -oh-

FINN: -uh oh-

COLT: Why would you--

COLT: Don't you think that might send some mixed messages???

COLT: Listen... Jace ain't like Citrin or Ryan, alright? He's sensitive and-- -SIGHS. he can't believe jace instigated this, and yet somehow he can. clearly he wasn't thinking this through either... THAT BOY AINT RIGHT.-

COLT: I just hope you know there's likely gonna be consequences. -LIKE ME PUTTING YOU IN THE GROUND-

SOFIA: -okay she's done. she turns her head away. NO MORE PLEASE. she whines about it-

FINN: -he's still hanging his head- i'm sorry

FINN: i should have

FINN: thought it through

FINN: instead of just thinking he knew what he was getting into

COLT: -looks down at sofia and sets her bottle aside. burping time. he's already got a cloth ready to prop her up against. pats the sweet baby.-

COLT: Yeah, well... Reckon I oughta have a chat with him too. -eyeballs finn's room again.-

FINN: do you have to have a chat with him

SOFIA: -making noises over here while the burp attempt is made-

COLT: -he's proud of her. she's good at making noise.-

COLT: Yes.

FINN: what are you going to say

COLT: -that finn is a ho.- I'm just gonna make sure he knows what he's gotten himself into... Unless you want to talk to him to clarify. -EYEBALLS some more.-

FINN: -pauses- the look you're giving me is confusing because i don't know if you actually want me to or you want me to stay away

COLT: Guess I don't know either.

COLT: But I know it's best to take responsibility for yourself.

FINN: -he sighs- i can do it

COLT: -grunt.- Alright. Good.

FINN: do you want me to do it now

SOFIA: -she burps-

COLT: -frowns some more- That'd be ideal.

COLT: -good girl, sofia. cleans off her face and goes to toss this towel, leaving finn to his own devices.-

SOFIA: -do I get to hang out with you uncle colt-

COLT: -of course cutie pie...-

SOFIA: -its a good day-

FINN: -meanwhile, Finn walks back into his room to see if Jace is still awake-

JACE: -currrently in the process of climbing out the window without his shoes.- O_O

FINN: hey wait

JACE: Hhhh... Okay... -sits on the window sill-

FINN: -gestures at him- you can sit somewhere inside

JACE: ... Its alright. I like the window sill. -even though it's not super comfortable on the ass.-

FINN: oh okay uh -scratches the back of his head- colt knows

JACE: Oh......... I figured as much.....

JACE: Is he mad?

FINN: at me yeah

FINN: he doesn't think we are on the same page so

FINN: i should probably make sure that's a thing

JACE: -frowns down at the floor.- So... he thinks I dont understand that this is just...

JACE: Um. You know... a fling.

FINN: -nods-

JACE: -sighs- I do know that.

JACE: ... I guess it makes me kind of sad.

JACE: -pauses, really thinking about all this. as best he can with his head swimming and his heart still racing from anxiety.- But I had fun?

JACE: That probably counts for something.

JACE: I dont really... want to regret it... Even if its not permanent...

FINN: -his expression softens- yeah me too

FINN: i really don't want to hurt you

JACE: Oh, yeah.... Um... Ill be okay.

JACE: This is way more than I ever could have expected so Im happy about that. -manages a little smile-

FINN: -smiles back- well just so you know if you ever feel bad about it it's okay to talk about it

FINN: i've had flings that made me feel pretty sad

JACE: -swings his feet as he looks to the floor again, contemplating something... then he slides out from the window sill.-

JACE: Is it okay if I kiss you one more time?

FINN: -he pauses and nods- yeah

JACE: -shuffles in closer, shyly... before he places his hands on finn's cheeks and leans in for one last slow, soft kiss.-

FINN: -kisses him in return for as long as Jace wants to. Consider this one for the road-

JACE: -melts... he really doesn't want to let go when it feels so nice, but alas... he draws away after a moment, gazing up at him with his big eyes.-

JACE: ... Did you see my boots out there? -points at finn's door. he's still just in his socks...-

FINN: yeah you left them

FINN: i think that tipped colt off just a little

FINN: you don't have to leave i can sleep on the couch i don't mind

JACE: No, its okay!! I should go... Now that Im up I wont be able to fall asleep.

JACE: -shuffles over to the door- Ill just... Umm. -opens it carefully.-

JACE: Ill see you! -YOUTH ROLLS OUT THE DOOR. snatches up his boots, stumbles into them, and sprints out the front door.-

COLT: -squints after him from sofia's room. INCREDIBLE.-

SOFIA: -look at me i'm cute-

FINN: -he just kind of waves and goes in to join colt-

FINN: so

FINN: same page

COLT: ... Good.

COLT: -offers sofia to him.- I think she wants you.

FINN: -takes her in his arms and kisses her head-

FINN: colt i'm

FINN: i'm sorry

COLT: -gives him a bit of the silent treatment, but it's mostly because he doesn't know what to say. there's too much on his mind, and all his weird compulsions and sensory overloads aren't helping him feel any more at ease. maybe he's being unfair, or hypocritical... or maybe joel's just right about them. they're all just a bunch of idiots prone to bad decisions and they should feel bad for it.-

COLT: ... Reckon it don't make much difference.

COLT: Jace can make his own decisions.

FINN: -he just feels really guilty. and pathetic. and like the worst person ever. maybe joel was right, he shouldn't have a kid. why did he have sofia in the first place?- i'm still sorry

COLT: Ok, I get it. -says sharply, but he's starting to look upset.-

FINN: -he just looks down and says nothing. HE FUCKED UP. HE REALLY FUCKED UP-

COLT: -sniffles where he sits, falling quiet again and feeling very stuck and confused.-

SOFIA: -yells momentarily just because she can.-

FINN: -shhhh baby. he sits there as well, just holding sofia and staying quite and he might actually BE SNIFFLING TOO?-

COLT: -glances at sofia when she scream... then up at finn because they're both sniffling babies.-

COLT: I'm not...

COLT: I'm not really mad at you... I am disappointed but...

COLT: Mostly I'm just upset about everythin' happenin' lately.

COLT: And I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it.

FINN: i don't like to disappoint you

COLT: ... It's not like it's the end of the world.

COLT: I'm not gonna snub you for it or nothin'.

FINN: i don't want to make your life worse

FINN: because i know it's already hard

COLT: My life is fine.

COLT: My life is great, in fact? I don't got much to complain about.

COLT: I'm happy. -sighs- Even if I'm havin' a hard time right now.

FINN: -wipes his eyes- but it's been hard lately

FINN: i know that

COLT: Well, it ain't all about me. -starts to get up-

FINN: -stays sitting and watches him. all he can do is wait it out, because it seems like he can't fix this. the tears don't stop-

COLT: -he just needs some time to calm down... he really can't stay upset about all this -- and he definitely doesn't want to.-

FINN: -he'll just remain here holding sofia and using his communicator to start doing some research-

#impenetrablevitality #taciteaneremite #in which morning after

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damnnnnaileenaaa · 6 years ago

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10/5

I don’t even know where to start right now. It’s been about 4-5 months since I’ve logged into this account. Haha, every time I try to log in my original Tumblr acct, I seem to stumble upon my blog acct. I’m just an airhead and I can’t keep up with my T W O accounts. I know, haha.

School: I’m doing well in school, I mean passing. Passing is doing well, considering I’m in nursing school. I love nursing, I love schooling, I definitely want to continue my education. That’s not a question. I don’t know where I would like to work, I’m just trying to find my calling. They say you find it during clinical, but shit.. I haven’t found it. I want to do an easy job. I wouldn’t mind working the 12 hour 3 day/week shift for couple years, but not forever. I love kidneys, why? HAHA, i don’t even know. But I do, I would really like to work in an outpatient facility, a nice 9-5, off weekends type of thing. But I’m trying to get thru school, doing well on tests, and i’m going to pass NCLEX. Haha, like I really am. I’m not as dumb, and i’m getting smarter, and more confident.

I found really good friends in school and I’m lucky to have them.

Love: God, I love Thomas. Haha, he pissed me off just about 2 hours ago, and I’m still being petty, because that’s just who I am. He has so much patience with me. He’s been talking about getting engaged, and he really sees a future with me that involves a wedding and kids. It’s crazy to think about that. He’s been doing better, he’s telling me he loves me, I’m visiting him more, and we do this thing now, like whoever starts the fight first, has to pay the other one dinner, or money. It works out, because I can’t fight bc I can’t afford too. Hahaha. & we just booked our cruise dec. 17-22, he booked it, he’s paying for all of it. see, love. he loves me soo much.. <3

I’m graduating this Dec. and he’s graduating next Dec. In the meantime, I will be getting my licensure and soon after that I do plan on moving in with him. I don’t know how I’m gonna get a job in starkville for 8 months, that’s how long I’m gonna be there until he graduates. I do want to work for a company for at least a year, but ya know.. where are we going to live for an extra two months, I mean if I can line stuff up... I could get my license by the new year and move up sooner than expected. He has a job lined up in AK with his brother’s company. I know it’s a really good opportunity for him, and I really do want to get out of the coast so it’s a good opportunity for me. He needs the experience and with my degree, I can work anywhere.

He wants me to get off the coast, which I do too. But sometimes, I feel like is it too soon too? Where’s my experience? Am i just gonna pick everything I have here? my parents, family, friends, to live with him? i mean, sacrifices, i gotta make them. I love thomas, i dont know what i would do w/o him , it’s worth it, for him, me, and to make us work. I don’t want to be in another LDR. It sucks, i love having him around. Maybe just being alone here at home, just throws me in my thoughts and i’m playing this tug of war game in my head.

TT: To be completely honest, I’ve been thinking about TT and I haven’t really stopped since May. I’m still active on all my social media accounts, which I’m still friends with TT and damn, seeing his activity, drives me crazy. It pushes me to this point where I want to be what he wants? I try to listen to music that he shares? I see his activity on IG and I have to click it. I see that he’s super into like, J.cole, kanye, mac, stuff like that. I mean, I listen to that stuff here and there, but I dont consider that my style of music. Am I really trying to change myself? But anyways, I’m not mad that it happened between us. I’m just mad that it did. I dont know if that makes sense, I just wish that what happened, didn’t happen in the time span of literally 6 days. God, I’m so easy. I never think about, oh yeah.. what if we were together now in 2018, that doesn’t cross my mind at all. What more crosses my mind is what we could have been back in the day, how we could have been something back in ‘12. Like, I’m always searching for something to fill this void I have, I def know it’s not him. I know that positively, I just need something to fill it. Maybe it’s just the excitement, the courting, the laughing, the smiles. Honestly, I dont know, i’m just a confused girl. I don’t like him, when I see him. I get those feelings I had in HS, just annoyance. Lol.

DN: He was my first. I don’t miss him, I don’t think about the thought of “us”. It just blew my mind that he was looking for a relationship, and I was not. DN was a wonderful guy, just I’m not attached to him, lol. That’s good, because the saying is that the girl will always love her first, but I dont. Lol, so good for me? I guess.... That was the first time I was in that type of situation, and I finally just realized it. (I was the fuck girl) Honestly, at that age, I felt like he was embarrassed of me, of taking me out with his friends, being in public, and doing all that courting shit, taking me to my prom, but at the same time, we were only talking for about 2-3 months, and I expected alot. I wish i could change what I did, but it is what it is. Haha.

When I was dating PD, he reached out to me looking for lunch, or to meet up again. I said no, because I was dating PD and I respected the relationship I was in. He just said, oh, are you afraid of your BF? Something like that, I ended up deleting him and unfollowing him. I’m happy I did at that time, but now I’m not. I just honestly wanna be petty and fuck with his girl Kim. Hahaha, I really don’t like her. Maybe she’s insecure and wants to bag on her boyfriend’s ex. Which I totz understand, but damn, she’s making this to enjoyable haha. Honestly, if I had the chance to be with him, I wouldn’t take it. He’s a sweet guy, but no ambitions, brains. I don’t want a man-child to take care of.

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bigbrotherorre · 6 years ago

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episode one: “TODAY WE LEARNED UNLESS BRYCE FEELS LIKE THE PRETTIEST GIRL AT THE DANCE EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY, YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH” - AUTUMN hoh: BRYCE evicted: ROXY - 13 to 3

Okay WOOOO. So hey, I'm here doing a DR pre-season, because? I am cracked, a mess and SOOO EXCITED. Also, I looked up fun words, to find something to use as my confessional codeword, and "brouhaha" means "a noisy and overexcited reaction or response to something" WHICH IS SO APPROPRIATE. So woo, enjoy the brouhaha that is my excitement for this season. I just wanna say a couple of things: 1) Nicholas and Julia posting those clock gifs is gonna make my head fall off, thats so scary. If it means past season twists like someone said in the VL, I'm NERVY. RoseGold POVs are my biggest fear, and I know there was a season where prejury was all about them so YIKES. Calling it now, I'm gonna get sent home by a rosegold PoV. 2) Emily and Lukas was such an iconic F2, no matter whomst the F2 is in Orre, we will never match them 3) I wanna make some pre-season picks of who I expect to see cast, that way if they win, I can take total credit. I'm feeling like Raffy, Sammy and Aren might be in the cast, based on literally nothing khajsdfla. Raffy as a player terrifies me (I was also the person who brought him into this community so whew), but he gets CRACKED so whew! Aren is a scorpio so we stan. ANYWHO. I'm so excited for this season, its gonna be a HOOOOOT.

Wooh so ready for the season to start!!!

Hola, did you miss me? This is going to be me reflecting back on my Johto experience and trying to point out the mistakes I made, and how this game will be different. (this is before cast reveal) The first mistake I did in Johto was go against the premade. I was wary of Connor and Ari, and I thought painting the target on the returnee wouldnt only be easy but would be successful. And then I found out that I couldn't, and then Connor made friends with everybody on my team and fucked me over in the long run. The second mistake I did in Johto was being messy. A prime example was making pseudo "alliance" chats in order to sway the vote for people to keep me. This proved to be unsuccessful. I also had a mental breakdown like every night, so that just buried me more. The third mistake I did in Johto was throw the veto the week I was nominated. I felt like I couldve won it but I decided to study for my test. I didnt compete in the pov that i shouldve won. SO now its time to do what I need to do for my redemption is quite simple. The last 3 ORGs ive played for BB i have made 2nd, 4th, and 3rd. And I learned quite a lot To negate my first mistake I'm not going to publicly target anbody. I will join the mob mentality to ensure my safety in early weeks. To negate my second mistake I am going to keep all my alliances as 1on1s. No alliances bigger than 3 people, and make sure to keep whatever information I have to myself. I will not snake out any information. To negate my third mistake is to try in all competitions. I will not throw anything I will not submit for anything unless I really cant. If I give it my all and still leave I can't beat myself up that bad. I'm nervous, but I'm ready. These freaks aren't gonna know what hit them.

Okay one hour to premiere! The fact that I've made two DRs pre-season? thats wild. I am gonna give a go at predicting the cast, based on... borderline nothing, beyond paranoia: Veronica Constance Raffy Autumn Olivia Eddie Elmo Hals Sammy Aren Those are guesses I'm confident in, so I'm gonna stick to that! Lets see if I get anyone right ajlkdsfas

Okay this isn't as bad as i thought except i'm a hot ass mess and messaged a picture into the house chat and i'm about to DIE

wut in the FUCK is happening who the hell are these people theyre mental all of them. nice to see sammy and ali though i fucking love them but i am terrified of playing with ali i literally said to my host chat 3 hrs before the game started "please say its all newbies so im not playing with zeezo" AND SHES HERE WTF

omg this FREAKING CAST IS WILD and i'm not gonna lie i'm a little worried that i might fight over half of them before the second week is finished...

not gonna lie seeing ashvika and roxy made me wanna kill myself but also i'm totally dying at the sight of ZEEZO AND BRYCE <3 also THIS COMP FREAKING SUCKS i need to find a group of friends asap so i don't flop. i'm gonna try to bring together bryce, zeezo, sammy, kat, and maybe ricky.... either gonna be lit or bite me in the ass

Hi!!! Y'all casted way too many people but it's ok cause I really like everyone so far whew. Also I really will do my intro video I swear... first thing tomorrow lmao

THIS SHIT IS OVERWHELMING AF! SOOOO MANY FREAKIN PPL IM TALKIN TOO! I LIKE MOST OF THEM but som im like k. then like the call i do not want to join bc shit they cracked af! hopefully its not my undoing but i feel like my social is pretty strong atm. #BBgameEVER

i'm just happy that ashvika is willing to put our unnecessarily tragic rivalry behind us and play this game right this time around. hopefully we'll be able to keep up the "we hate each other" look in the house chat and such so we can actually WORK TOGETHER this time. obvi i love her, and i just want the backstabbing madness to stop. hopefully she really has put out past behind her bc i'm ready to move on. like we're both pretty, we need to stick together. also shook that i talked to blake the longest today in pms???? like???? okay??? bryce and i look like we're in this for the long haul, hopefully we aren't first and second boot!! bc i have a weird feeling imma be pre-jury for some reason dsgdf

Night 1 Thots: Short term goal? to be as pathetic as possible. Probaly shouldn't have told alivia so soon that I was johnchen from bbtc world as after watching her intro vid. the could come back to bite me. Ryan seems like someone who I can ride on his coat tails for a while to get my foot in this game. So short term I need to be as pathetic as possible and hope this julia/bryce/sammy thing from house of shade starts to erupt.

me at alivia

Really regretting making my code word tractor.. Not a fan. But um me and alivia talked for like 4 hours and we're both legends. We have a cute google sheet bet ur all jealous. Her and ashvika are gonna pretend that they hate each other but they dont actually!! How fun. Hope i dont slip and blow their covers JKDFHKSJD. Everyone seems to know everyone which is scary. When i first saw Jela and Julia were cast I was scared that theyd target me b/c we had a rough introduction, but honestly theyre legends. Idk why i told jela i was missing a left toe.. but i did and now idk what to do about that whole thing. Maybe ill say i got drunk and dont remember saying that but it isnt true.. IDK WHAT TO DO. But um yaa happy to see zeezo here too but scared ppl will think we're a duo but honestly I dont think ppl will. Um I should do a cast first impression thing wooh! Ricky: Played my first tumblr game with him but dont really know him. Seemed nice but not much there Randy: seems like a legend. Poc king. Um talked to him and he wanted to know more about me but wouldnt talk about himself so!! Idk hope we talk more seems fun. Julia: Um called me out. Called me fat. Fun tho!! Seems untrustworthy but no bad blood. Roxy: Talked a bit, um shes fun?? Dont think she likes me Ashvika: how can one girl be so pretty??? Shes smart too. Like i want to hate how perfect she is. The type of girl to throw my game away for tho so I need to make sure I dont!! Alivia: how can one girl be so pretty??? Shes smart too. Like i want to hate how perfect she is. The type of girl to throw my game away for tho so I need to make sure I dont!! Honestly want to go to the end with her tho so I just am gonna have to make sure I outplay her so we can be f2. Bryce: ugly cast pic. Is he even a poc??? Zeezo: THE LOML I LOVE HER SO MUCH. we both seem to be working together so im happy. Hope to work with her and have her carry me in comps. She will beat lachies record. #menareover Kat: wish she was jade ;(. JK!! Love her so much already. She is so nice and fun and like just seems like a great person. Honestly shes gonna mist me too. Jose: Epicmafia king. We never work together and always betray each other so... first chance for everything??? He seems fun tho love him hope he slays (less than me tho) Sammy: I literally love him hes so nice but i never pm him so thats awk KDSJFHDKSj hope that this game changes that!! Lynn: Legend. Loves hufflepuff, hates middle school. Like I think we click but i know her and blake are like super close so idk if shed ever be closer with me but i hope so b/c shes just like.. amazing!! Saxon: Talks a lot. About himself. Maybe itll change when i talk to him more. Likes super hero movies so wooh i guess. Jela: Thought she hated me but maybe now she doesnt. Shes really funny actually so hopefully we can be allies. Blake: know that hes super smart and good at the game but like he got rekt by queen tara so maybe ill do that to him. We talked but it was bland but guess ill push through it Dennis: So his name is annoying to spell so had to change that quick. Kind of hate him??? But hes fun!!! Didnt know carly rae jepsen made music still so like the stan in me wanted to hang up the call on him. BUT then he msged me asking for carly songs to listen to so like.. love him now. Cant believe he knew all the social game hed need with me was just pretending to like my queen Autumn: We talked about her past games and it was basically me fangirlling about her ENDING eddie LOL. think we can work together because we both like intersectional feminism John: Tried talking to him but didnt go anywhere. But im gonna make it work!! Ive decided we'll be close so wooh Olivia: took 2 hours to respond to me. like musicals tho. kept ignoring me tho. Alivia outsold. Ali: PURE KING. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. NO ONE IS BETTER. I COULD NEVER TURN AGAINST HIM. SO IM GONNA NEED OTHERS TO DO IT FOR ME. Love his dog even tho i misgendered her but it wont happen again. Think we'll be close. reptiles stick together!!

WHEWIE. Okay I tried filming a video confessional, but my thoughts are such a mess, so I've decided writing it out will be considerably more coherent. YIKES SO. This season is already so wild, like this cast.... is gonna be a lot. I already can tell this season is going to have lots of fights and I don't know... how ready I am for that eeeek. But otherwise, my illiteracy means I don't understand the lottery twist so I love that. The returnee twist is fun though, like I feel like at the start of games, I go into panic mode, so having returnees I can go to about that, might make them feel like I'm an easy number and that they want to work with me? The people I knew before this season (like I'd actually spoken to): Bryce, Julia, Ashvika, Autumn & Olivia (I loosely knew Ricky, Blake & Sammy too) Within the game itself, the people I've had the best conversations with are Jose, Kat, Olivia, Ashvika & John. Olivia is like one of my favourite people in the community, and also a super good player so I'd love to work with her. I also think the fact that we are friends is something nobody in the cast should know (I think) so thats fun. Jose was such a big threat/player last season, and the vibe I get from him this time is he wants to tone that down? I'm not good at working with super cracked people, so him being slightly in the middle between UTR and cracked, will make him a super good person to work with I think. He is also the only person I've like...talked game with, even though its super limited, just that I wanna work with him. I'm a weirdo and watched all the Alola cast assessment stuff, and it sounds like Kat was playing really well, but got stuck in a funky position and couldn't recover, so I think she is gonna be a major threat this time and I'd love to work with her too woooo. Ashvika is a queen. Just plain and simple. She is so wholesome and nice, and already seems loosely on the same page as me, so thats iconic. John scares me ajkhsdfaslf. i think he is a total newbie, and I also think he is gonna get super cracked, and thats.... scary asdkjflas Dennis I just started talking to properly, he is in my timezone-ish, so that will be good for my sleeping pattern if he ever wins HoH or anything, but I worry he may struggle to make connections, so I'm not sure how much he can help me as an ally? The others I'm gonna try and do more rapid fire, since this confessional is already massive hjkasdflsaf: Alivia: Really really nice! We haven't spoken all that much, but she seems super friendly and she was really loyal in Unova, which makes me feel good about maybe working with her? Also Ali in the name? we love legends Ricky: Ricky is.... an interesting one ljaksdfla. He is a fun personality to have around, so I hope he sticks around. I'm not sure how invested he will be in any of these games, but I hope he gives it a good go woo Randy: Randy is gonna be such a threat already I can tell sahkjfdla Also he lowkey scares me, because whenever I would start pm'ing people on call yesterday, he would run to my pms asking why I wasnt pm'ing him which freaked me out sjkadflas. He seems fun though, and Dom stans him so we stan Julia (The Witch): An icon. A legend. An inspiration. Also terrifying skjahdfla. She mentioned all stars on call yesterday and my heart stopped, because I hated how I was in that game and dont want it talked about. I think she is gonna fight people and I don't especially want to get on her bad side! Roxy: Havent spoken to her much, it might be tricky talking to her, since we are both in weird timezones, we will see Bryce: A SWEETHEART. I love Bryce soo much. We worked together in a mini once, and it was super fun, so I'd love to work with him more. Zeezo: She seems super nice! I don't really know her, beyond that she is POVzo and probably a comp threat, but I think she will be fun. I know her and Bryce are friends so we will see where that goes jahdfka Sammy: Super nice! I loosely know him, but he seems like he will be good fun. I havent spoken to him much, so I hope he is gonna be active rip Lynn: I know of her from Moheli, and I know her and Blake were ride or dies which I am wary off.... Otherwise, she has been super quiet and I could see her.... potentially going early rip a queen Saxon: FUDGE. I havent spoken to him at all which is scary, since I feel like he probably already knows a lot of this cast, so if he wins RIP me I guess. Otherwise, he seems like a fun personality so wooo Jelaminah: Ummm. She is wild. Like really wild. I think I stan her, but I also am like.... concious that she is a lot, and its sometimes too much for me. I'm a bit annoyed by her tbh, but its just because she was like laughing at people's sexualities, as if she didnt believe them, and thats super ugly, but I couldn't exactly say anything to her. I think she is gonna be a super dominant personality, but whew we will see. Blake: I know he was a big player in Moheli, but I think he also rubbed people the wrong way.... We will see how he does, he seems iconic Autumn: A QUEEN. She is the most inactive so far which is worrying. I don't want her to go early. I could really see her going up this week, but maybe us two havent talked much, since she is just comfortable in our relationship? AND WHEW. Thats everything, if anyone read this, I love you for that. Otherwise, wooo I'm super nervous, I love my DR guests Owen and Emily and eek. We will see!

ahhh okay so, I’m super excited about meeting new people....BUT...this cast is so huge and I’m so nervous. I like everyone for the most part and I’ve been trying to like talk to some people I’ve played with in the past to maybe smoothe over some bad relationships? The only person I’m still like nervous about is Julia because she kills the straight men and she hates Gemini’s. AND WHAT AM I? A STRAIGHT MALE GEMINI. I don’t think she’s very good at comps tho and I know she would go for Bryce before me. Anyway I seriously love Kat because she is so genuine and I just want to work with her. Also I want to work with alivia, roxy, zeezo, Olivia, randy, Jela, ricky, and autumn! There’s a few others as well but I’ll prob do like a video DR and talk about how I feel about everyone...who knows.

Jose is officially my showmance and we stan asjdkfaslf. He is so nice and my favourite new person I've met in the cast anyway, and he won lots of comps last season so I'm ready for him to drag me to the end dlakjfasfa.

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bryce better not fucking put me up or i'm gonna SHOOT

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wow so happy bryce is HoH!!!! perfect week one :$

I am actually really happy that bryce won this HOH bc that means my ass hole is safe! PRaise BE. MY showmance that was made by ALIVIA has saved my ass and partly to me sorta already knowing him through tara! BITHCH TARA LOLOVE UR ASSSS. ANd shoot idk what these gays are lookin at but ppl be sayin they think im cute. maybe its like when i look at a potato or like a waffle fry?? who knows ahaha but like some of these boys be good lookin like damn. hit me and my crocs up boys ;P

I am not a bottom. ya dumb bitch

Bryce is nomming me for not playing in the hoh. Gurl gurl im not a newb who would buy up that excuse

Just say we arent alligned and im good with the other players and id belive you why would i buy that you, a player whose played a few games by now, would nom someone for abstainimg

Okay SO. I filmed a video confessional earlier, but its already super out of date so its time for an update! I have spoken to lots of people that I hadn't talked to since premiere night which is good, Alivia & Kat are so nice! Jose is, as always a king, and I think (other than Olivia) he is my closest ally rn, so woo we stan. Otherwise, I spoke to Bryce, and it seems like (praise be), I'm not getting nominated, WOO! He says he is nominating Roxy/Autumn, with Julia getting the future shock thingie. Like I told him, the future shock is kind of like a curse and we know Julia loves a good curse, so its a good matchup aljdfkas. Otherwise, these nominations make sense. I LOVE Autumn, but she has been the quietest person in the cast, so I assume she is gonna go first rip. Roxy I have spoken to a fair bit, but I know she is in a funky timezone, which probably throws off her ability to be active. Bryce seemed like he was being pretty open with me, so I hope I'm not the backup plan if somebody comes off. I feel like my social game is pretty strong so I wouldnt have thought people in the house would push for me as a renom and eI'd be suprised if I get nominated! Last but not least, the unfortunate thing is how MENINIST these nominations are akjsdfla, we are really putting the orre in discriminatorrey.

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First DR of the game. I'm not going to do first impressions because I'm not that dry. The game started when I was put in this bitch, so I'm here to go at full force. I'm going to play a strong balance of a great 1 on 1 social game while still being a great personality people love. As of right now I'm being constantly dragged and roasted, and I wouldn't want it any other way. (But this is before HOH so the claws are bound to come over) So my game has been very social as of right now. Before HoH I focused on making genuine connections. I'm good with all the returnees at this point. None of them have beef with me, and I made it clear that I want to work with all of them (while this is farther from the truth). I'm just being diplomatic because there's some tension between the returnees that will have to be released soon. With the returnees I connected automatically with Zeezo. Me and her didnt even small talk its was just game talk from moment one. Thats a great relationship to have, and I'm definitely maintaining it. Jose and Alivia have been talking to me more. Jose has been more open with working with me than Alivia so : \\. All the returnees from Kanto-Sinnoh are here because theyre entertaining, the bitches from Unova-Alola would be casted for redemption but don't meet the criteria. I made an alliance with Jelaminah and Ricky. This is mostly because I need to be on Jelaminah's good side because I know the bitch knows how to play. So i would rather be scheming with her than against her. Ricky is just a number. On housecalls I saw that Jela was talking to Julia a lot. So I started talking to Julia a lot more. I surprisingly trust her a lot more than I thought I would. So me and her aren't beefing, but her and Bryce are. HOS20 affects this game because Julia and Saxon are aligned in this game and they're against Bryce and Sammy as of right now. I know Julia can drop a vendetta, but Saxon is just horrible about it. And I hate Saxon so much. He just gives me second hand embarassment and i dont know why. Like I'm so happy I've trained myself to hold my tongue because the shit he wears on housecalls actually make me laugh. He posted a picture of him shirtless and it was literally looking at rotten spam meat. Its not cute, and he is just so prude in pms because he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. I can make a separate DR about Saxon because he brings out all the hate and all the angst I had when I was in Johto. But going back to the topic Julia fought Sammy and Bryce ig and Saxon thinks Julia is right because he's a kissass and is a savvy feminist. I love Julia so her having beef isnt good. I talked to her and she said she didnt have good relations with Olivia, Bryce, Sammy, and Autumn. And i was shocked that this game is so against her, but this is great information because its something I can utilize. But those are her problems, and they dont affect me. If she wants to play with me she's gonna have to fix amends or take them out 1 by 1First DR of the game. I'm not going to do first impressions because I'm not that dry. The game started when I was put in this bitch, so I'm here to go at full force. I'm going to play a strong balance of a great 1 on 1 social game while still being a great personality people love. As of right now I'm being constantly dragged and roasted, and I wouldn't want it any other way. (But this is before HOH so the claws are bound to come over) So my game has been very social as of right now. Before HoH I focused on making genuine connections. I'm good with all the returnees at this point. None of them have beef with me, and I made it clear that I want to work with all of them (while this is farther from the truth). I'm just being diplomatic because there's some tension between the returnees that will have to be released soon. With the returnees I connected automatically with Zeezo. Me and her didnt even small talk its was just game talk from moment one. Thats a great relationship to have, and I'm definitely maintaining it. Jose and Alivia have been talking to me more. Jose has been more open with working with me than Alivia so : \\. All the returnees from Kanto-Sinnoh are here because theyre entertaining, the bitches from Unova-Alola would be casted for redemption but don't meet the criteria. I made an alliance with Jelaminah and Ricky. This is mostly because I need to be on Jelaminah's good side because I know the bitch knows how to play. So i would rather be scheming with her than against her. Ricky is just a number. On housecalls I saw that Jela was talking to Julia a lot. So I started talking to Julia a lot more. I surprisingly trust her a lot more than I thought I would. So me and her aren't beefing, but her and Bryce are. HOS20 affects this game because Julia and Saxon are aligned in this game and they're against Bryce and Sammy as of right now. I know Julia can drop a vendetta, but Saxon is just horrible about it. And I hate Saxon so much. He just gives me second hand embarassment and i dont know why. Like I'm so happy I've trained myself to hold my tongue because the shit he wears on housecalls actually make me laugh. He posted a picture of him shirtless and it was literally like looking at rotten spam meat. Its not cute, and he is just so prude in pms because he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. I can make a separate DR about Saxon because he brings out all the hate and all the angst I had when I was in Johto. But going back to the topic Julia fought Sammy and Bryce ig and Saxon thinks Julia is right because he's a kissass and is a savvy feminist. I love Julia so her having beef isnt good. I talked to her and she said she didnt have good relations with Olivia, Bryce, Sammy, and Autumn. And i was shocked that this game is so against her, but this is great information because its something I can utilize. But those are her problems, and they dont affect me. If she wants to play with me she's gonna have to fix amends or take them out 1 by 1. Until then I'm going to spend my time with investments that are bound to pay off. Which are with the newbies. I've been spending a lot of time on Blake because Blake lives 20 minutes away from me. I'm trying to hold this down as secret as possible. He likes me, and I want to work with him so I'm just going to continue our friendship and ensure that we're a duo. He doesn't talk a lot in the housechat which is concerning to me, but he does hold very strong one on one relations with most of the house. Lynn is also a south carolina native, and she is just so infectious. She is very intimidated by the large cast meaning that she hasnt bonded that well with a lot of people. So i put two and two together and made a South Carolina alliance. I know Blake is genuine about it. But the main purpose of this alliance is to keep Lynn under my sphere of influence. I can't have no newbies on my side. No ma'am Another newbie who stands out for me is John. John is just really active, and such a social threat. Meaning that his word has saying. So far my relationship with him has been "hey let literally help you with anything and expect nothing in return". With him im trying to show myself as a puppet, or somebody who is very very useful with him. And I actually showed that this week when Bryce won HOH. Won't lie I didnt want but also wanted HOH at the same time. When Bryce won it I was very wary of what was going to happen. Then John comes up to me saying that Bryce is thinking of nominating him. And since I had a decent bond with Bryce I know that I had to save John. So when Bryce talked to me he was dead set as Roxy as the initial nom and target, and Julia for safety this week. Then he mentioned that he was on the fence because he didnt know if he wanted Autumn or John nominated. So I told him the truth that it would be silly to nominate somebody as active as John. And so John wasn't nominated. I stuck my neck out for John and was one of the reasons he isn't nominated this week. And these game things build genuine trust since I'm not just talking to talk. I'm walking to walk and this game isn't ready for Randyy.

Hello ladies and gentlemen you're looking at the first nominee of the season waysup

Imma get to the bottom of this so ain't even worried. I just feel bad y'all didn't even get one happy confessional from me. We just jumped straight into poppin off. That's ok though! Nice for what am i rite

Bryce is full of shit and I'm embarrassed for him. Like who makes an enemy out of me on Day fucking 3? Really my guy? That's the first thing you thought of when you had 19 people to pick from? Apparently I'm getting nominated because the other 18 people in the cast talked to Bryce yesterday and I didn't. Not only do I not buy that, but we just not gonna acknowledge the fact that I talked to him on 2 of the 3 days the game has been going on so far? K cool. Today we learned unless Bryce feels like the prettiest girl at the dance every minute of every day, you're not doing enough Also can we talk about how the "I'm so happy to play with you I always root for you" energy that Bryce was selling to me on day one didn't even last a round? Hiigghkey I feel like the people who know me in the cast are secretly happy cause they know I'm petty enough to take Bryce out and I'll have no problem taking the fall for it. Ali, Ashvika, Sammy, Julia, Olivia- they know I don't play that shit. Can you imagine being first HOH, using it on me, and then thinking I'm not mad at you because I "understand" that nominating me was "the easiest thing to do"?

SHIT YOUR BOI JUST DID THAT TONIGHT! IF U KNOW YOU KNOW. 😜😂

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CLICK HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

woo I'm on call with Autumn, Sammy, Jela & Dennis. THEY ARE SO FUN. I am back on the Jela stan train, she is actually super nice! I think I want Autumn to stay this week (and I think she could too)! Roxy is super sweet, but Autumn is a queen and the queen stays queen! Oh, I'm not using the veto too, its way too early to make a move and I don't know who would go up instead. I'm still SHRIEKING that I won that veto somehow kjlasdfa

CLICK HERE TO SEE RANDY’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

[5/9/18, 2:45:32 PM] Blake Sanders: do you want money?? [5/9/18, 2:45:41 PM] Blake Sanders: BC THE MONEY WANTS YOU! [5/9/18, 2:45:43 PM] alivia: do you wanna be rich??? [5/9/18, 2:45:53 PM] Blake Sanders: ^^^^^^ RICH [5/9/18, 2:45:58 PM] Blake Sanders: not just driving nice car rich [5/9/18, 2:46:07 PM] Blake Sanders: I mean using cheeta fur as toilet paper rich! [5/9/18, 2:46:15 PM] alivia: 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 [5/9/18, 2:48:20 PM] alivia: YOUVE BEEN HAND SELECTED [5/9/18, 2:48:31 PM] alivia: BECAUSE WE THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES [5/9/18, 3:07:19 PM] rixxy 🦄: Hi I just got off work [5/9/18, 3:07:23 PM] rixxy 🦄: what the FUCK is this? [5/9/18, 3:07:33 PM] alivia: DO YOU WANT MONEY??? [5/9/18, 3:07:52 PM] rixxy 🦄: i'm scared but absolutely [5/9/18, 3:07:58 PM] Blake Sanders: FUCK YA! [5/9/18, 3:07:58 PM] alivia: WE WANT YOUR HELP SCAMMING THIS HOUSE! [5/9/18, 3:08:09 PM] alivia: it’s good to be a little scared [5/9/18, 3:08:12 PM] rixxy 🦄: I definitely don't like where this is going. [5/9/18, 3:08:12 PM] Blake Sanders: MONEY WERE GOIN TO RULE THIS AND MAKE MONEY [5/9/18, 3:08:26 PM] Blake Sanders: BUT U WILL RIXXY [5/9/18, 3:08:31 PM] rixxy 🦄: god [5/9/18, 3:08:34 PM] Blake Sanders: <3 [5/9/18, 3:09:00 PM] lynnt: yes [5/9/18, 3:09:53 PM] alivia: you’re gonna be rich so you gotta live rich [5/9/18, 3:11:57 PM] Blake Sanders: There’s like a joining fee [5/9/18, 3:12:01 PM] alivia: yep [5/9/18, 3:12:09 PM] alivia: like scientology [5/9/18, 3:12:21 PM] alivia: but like this is real [5/9/18, 3:12:56 PM] rixxy 🦄: i'm not paying for this [5/9/18, 3:13:01 PM] rixxy 🦄: is this like a legit game thing? [5/9/18, 3:13:03 PM] rixxy 🦄: bc [5/9/18, 3:13:07 PM] lynnt: then imma opt out b/c this rich bitch is cheap and that’s why i’m rich [5/9/18, 3:13:55 PM] Blake Sanders: I mean we legit love u guys [5/9/18, 3:14:07 PM] rixxy 🦄: is this an alliance [5/9/18, 3:14:12 PM] rixxy 🦄: bc i'm uncomfortable and confused [5/9/18, 3:14:35 PM] alivia: woah woah woah [5/9/18, 3:14:41 PM] alivia: everyone calm down [5/9/18, 3:15:09 PM] alivia: don’t worry about the money. you can pay the joining fee AFTER we’re rich [5/9/18, 3:15:15 PM] alivia: don’t worry [5/9/18, 3:15:16 PM] rixxy 🦄: like i'm actually having an anxiety attack can you RATMEME.PNG literally..... WHAT???? blake and i were talking and started joking about being scammers bc sdfkal and then i was like "we should start a scammer alliance" and that's how it all started. we thought it would be SO funny if we just added them to a chat and started trolling them about scamming houseguests out of their money dljgdkfjg and i thought MAYBE lynn and ricky would be confused at first but ricky literally lost his mind like ooops my bad WE THOUGHT WE WERE FUNNY BUT I GAS NOT. [5/9/18, 3:16:08 PM] alivia: it’s a joke but kind of an alliance [5/9/18, 3:16:21 PM] alivia: but mostly a joke [5/9/18, 3:16:44 PM] rixxy 🦄: i literally thought i got dragged into some kind of game twist and i wouldn't play my own game god [5/9/18, 3:17:08 PM] alivia: omg WHAT [5/9/18, 3:17:19 PM] alivia: LITERALLY THE BIGGEST JOKE NOT SERIOUS [5/9/18, 3:17:25 PM] alivia: IMSORFY [5/9/18, 3:17:28 PM] rixxy 🦄: like i thought it was some saboteur/team america bullshit [5/9/18, 3:17:35 PM] alivia: omg noooo [5/9/18, 3:17:42 PM] rixxy 🦄: all i want to do is play the game and i literally thought that was snatched from me [5/9/18, 3:17:50 PM] alivia: HOW??? [5/9/18, 3:18:17 PM] rixxy 🦄: idk i thought y'all were a twist sdksksksksks sdfjsdl wow fuck me i gas??? my social game is really off to a great start!!! gotta get ricky outta here asap now

Right now i am on CAll with SAMMY SAM bc im bad at talking to multiple people at a time! SOOOOOO SAMMY is like wanting to be ym ally but like do i trust his ass??

CLICK HERE TO SEE JOSE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

okayyyyy so this is definitely something different like bb is hard tbh. there's too many people to talk to and i just really don't care about continuing to keep up a convo with some of them but you have to or bye bye. i have definitely not been as social as most and that is def scary but the people that i have talked to and made connections are super nice. so that's why i was so glad when the people that won HOH and POV are people i talked to. uuhHHuh i have no fucking clue who i want to evict tonight so that's fun! ya know autumn is super nice and chill but she did go dark for a while and roxy is super fun and i still haven't heard ANY singing and i want to and she is campaigning really hard so she really wants to stay BUT since she's campaigning so hard to stay and kinda saying anything to EVERYONE who knows what she'll do to stay in the game later on. idk is it too early to be thinking about later in the game?? idkkk thanks for coming to my rambling ted talk. find out next time on if i've decided.

CLICK HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

OK SOOOO the eviction is coming up tonight and its either going to be Autumn or Roxy! NOw autumn is a super sweet queen but i feel like she will kill me if need be! but i still lvoe her! now roxy she is fighting for her life like she is making me promises i think she will not be able to keep. bc ive heard form other hosue guests she is making the same promises to them. NOW i love talkin to her about food and cooking but i feel awful that im most likely going to evict her! but o well it has to be done im glad its not me

i feel like i should give like a summary of like where i am with everyone and how i feel about them all before the first eviction! ALI: Well i first knew him because he reached out to me about a game he is gonna host. He like doesn't talk to me much which makes me nervous... I like him a lot but looks like we are just acquaintances atm. ALIVIA: OK I FREAKIN LOVE HER! SHE IS HILARIOUS! WE STARTED A ALLIANCE CHAT CALLED SCAMMERS R' US AND RICKY LEGIT FREAKED THE FUCK OUT AND WE WERE ALL LIKE WTF JUST HAPPENED HE IS INSANE! i hope i get to work with her a lot during this game and talk about ice cream! But i do see her stabbing me in the back later on so ill prob strike first. LOVE YA ASHVIKA: now this girl is a goddess she is beauty and she is grace! we talk like avg and stuff we have small chats nothing about gamewise. I see her as not being a threat as in targeting people or winning HOH i see her as a social threat. I think she will go far but not win she will def be jury. I think she is amazing tho and shes a model soo like i want to be her. AUTUMN: Now Autumn is a delight to be around so sweet and seems so pure but she will kill me i just know it. She's the beautiful flower in the garden that turns into a man eating plant <3 she is temptation and i may fall for it BLAKE: ive been told i was a certified good boy BRYCE: Now i knew him b4 this game bc of my friend TARA LOVE YOU BITCH <3 ! i think he will keep me around but idk if our bond is tight enough. i dont think he will choose to evict me yet. but other thsn that i want to work on having a closer bond with him for sure! DENNIS: I like dennis he just iidk theres not alot to say? me adn him talk about video games and stuff but whenever i talk to him i like forget like why im talkin to him lol! but he is super chill! JELAMINAH: THIS WOMAN <3 IS AMAZINGLY FUNNYY! SHE IS ONE PERSONALITY I WANT TO GET ON MY SIDE~! she is hilarious amd an amazing person i want to work with her sooo bad! i talk to her in oms sometimes but she is more of a on call person i believe or she just doesn't wanna talk to me ahah . O AND JELA I TAKE BACK TO WHO I THINK THE CUTEST BOY HERE IS ! JOHN : I love john! me and him talk trash about random things and it is hilarious! i hope he feels as close to me as i am to him! i feel like we can work together in the long run. JOSE: Ive only talked to Jose just a little bit so im worried if he ever wins HOH bc i may be nominated! so i better get my ass into high gear and talk to him more. other than that i remebr him as the guy who someone hit his fence with a car. JULIA: NOW i have heard things about this girl! like that she is ana amzing player and i better watch out for her! IM SO SORRY JULIA BUT U R ON MY HITLIST! AND SADLY U NEVER U LEFT ME ON READ IN MY PMS RUDE~! KAT:I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT KAT BUT WE JUST STARTED TALKING TODAY AND WE HELPED names each others plants! she is a precious person and i love her! she is so funny! i want to work with her for this game! LYNN: YALL THIS IS MY BITCH ! I LOVE YOU LYNN WE PLAYED IN MOHELI TOGETHER AND AFTER THAT IT WAS HISTORY WE BECAME BEST FRIENDS VISITING EACH OTHER AND STUFF! SHE ONLY LIED 2 HOURS FROM ME WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL I SAW HER ALL THE TIME! I AM MOST DEF WORKING WITH HER! SHE IS MY BESTFRIEND! <3 LOVE U OLIVIA: OK WELL IDK MUCH bout her. ummmm i talked to her a little im ttrying to become her ally but its not really workign she wont talk to meee!! RANDY: omg i have not heard good things about him.... i shouldve been told these things sooner omg! i feel like he hates me he might! we live in the same city and live like 15 mins away! omg rip rip rip . he goes to my old highdchool! thats crazy af! im working wiht him rn but i i think im going to nom him in the middle of the game or try to get him out around then. sorry randy! also hes been giving me the cold shoulder and not talkin to me which is rude. adnwe r in an alliance chat bro. come on really... RICKY: TBh u annoy me. everything i like u say its dumb or u don't like it. i say goodmorning/afternoon to u adn u say its morning its not even close to afternoon whatre u doing. AND IM LIKE WTF HAV U NEVER HEARD OF TIMEZONES! LIKE HELLLLLO! damn just we are not compatible people and well if i ever win HOH ill prob nom him. ROXY: DAMN BITCH I CAUGHT U IN A LIE AND U DONT KNOW ABOUT IT! THIS IS THE REAOSN IM VOTIN TO EVICT U IM SORRY OMG IM GOIN TO MISS TALKIN TO U ABOUT FOOD! ur sooo sweet omg and u hav a lovely voice! SAMMY: I have been told not to trust him bc he is a snake. But shit he is one of my closest allies now! like we talked for hours on call and watched survivor it was such a cute little date! GOD i hope he doesnt betray me ill cry so much! i mean he might but like i dont wanna back stab him.... yet <3 SAXON: who r u?? talked like never. ur probably nice?? ZEEZO: Girl u be freakin lynn out with eveyrhting u saying to and about her! soo idk like aht to do wiht u ahahah prob get u nominated?? SORRY IM A LOSER AND DIDNT MAKE A VID I LOOK LIKE A THUMB ATM <3

what bitch Randy, 3:05 PM hola 3:05 PM you never sent me a pm Randy, 3:05 PM ur coll bc you aint never talk about interesting shit 3:05 PM uh huh Randy, 3:05 PM tf am i supposed to reply to "yea" 3:06 PM sorry I'm not your source of entertainment you twink I was busy with my life Randy, 3:06 PM wow this is something we can TALK ABOUT Randy, 3:06 PM what did you do I kinda snapped sorry Randy

Are u gonnaget ur tattoo coloured? :0 or will it be lines? Rn im hungry waiting for ma burger heh 9:21 PM It’s just lines henny 👑, 9:23 PM Sweet! What inspires the one u chose? 👑, 6:35 AM Hey saxon! I wanted to wait to speak to you in person but im tired and sorta not feeling well so i cant stay up. I wouls love it id you vote me to stay!! I really enjoy this game and im a p loyal ally! Im active and have jackbox too xd. Ill try be up at least 2 hours bfr eviction if you wanna chat about the vote! 👑, 3:03 PM Morning 3:03 PM Hiya 👑, 3:03 PM Hows it going? 3:04 PM fine busy 👑, 3:04 PM Ripp with what m? 3:05 PM a 5 page paper 👑, 3:06 PM Ew Wtf 3:06 PM ye 👑, 3:06 PM Just quit school. Death sound sbetter than that Hshsbs 3:10 PM i omg 👑, 3:11 PM Lmfao Man now my eviction worries seem meaningless 3:14 PM Why is that? 👑, 3:15 PM :o cause your 5 page thing is gross :o have you started on it or still got a ways to go? 3:20 PM I still got a ways to go 👑, 3:20 PM yikes 👑, 3:20 PM how are you feeling about this week? like hame wise Roxy I think you're a lovely person but holy fuck can you just please shut up sometimes when you know someone is busy

CLICK HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

CLICK HERE TO SEE PT 1 OF BRYCE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

CLICK HERE TO SEE PT 2 OF BRYCE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!

I'd say it was an effective campaign xoxo Summer Shrek

CAST ASSESSMENT

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE WEEK 1 CAST ASSESSMENT!

#episode #bborre

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