#i honestly am just at a weird place in my life rn

[the-cryptographer]

i ran low motorics for my first pt of de and imbetween all my save spamming i came to a really weird place coming into the tribunal. like, i really wanted titus and as many of his friends as possible to survive, and i was looking at a near impossible hand/eye coordination skill-check. and up until that point i had been super careful to avoid having harry do drugs anywhere where kim could see him and judge him for it, but i was falling far short of the save and the obvious thing was to snort up some speed to give myself the edge, so i did. and i felt like that was in a way the truest moment of the game.

like, i’m playing an addict. i’m going through withdrawal. my hand is shaking. my hand is shaking and i need it steady. ruining my physical and metal health in the longterm don’t matter rn, bc it’s my job to run into an impossible and impossibly violent situation and save as many people as i can, and if i can’t do that, what am i here for at all? more people are going to die unless i make this shot, and i can’t if my hand is shaking, and it’s not going to stop shaking until i get my drugs, and so the only reasonable choice to make is to take the drugs, and oh- that’s why he can’t quit! beyond all the difficulties and pain and emotional trauma of the withdrawal itself, there’s no way to keep doing this job (with an abnormally large case load according to kim) and to walk into life and death situations and not botch them, while under the strain of trying to quit. and, sure, because you won’t quit you’ll have breakdowns and go on benders and give yourself brain damage and crash your car, and they’ll dress you down and publicly humiliate you for it. but no matter how much they humiliate you, they’re also not going to give you proper medical care or lessen your case load or stop throwing you in life or death situations that require you keep using, so you can’t quit.

idk, just like... it’s very strange to me bc i keep seeing people throw out the idea that it’s a moral responsibility that Harry go sober (and beyond that a moral responsibility as the player to keep him sober) but this was honestly probably the best and most thought provoking moment in the game for me, and i feel like people are really cheating themselves out of it by getting so caught up in their personal feelings about addiction that they refuse to engage it.

[ethan-acfan]

More desmond headcanons bc my blorb is scurrying around my head and won't leave.

Desmond develops chronic migraines from the animus like the really bad kind. The ones where you pass out and wake up in Pain™️

Desmond is weirdly good at singing, but he never tells anyone, and most of the time, when he sings around others, he does it ironically, so one day he is just humming a song and everyone is like "WTF YOU CAN SING?"

Des starts picking up odd habits from his ancestors, such as refusing to step into a room with his left foot (edward) or running his tongue along his scar.

He 100% blames himself for not getting clay out of the animus

Is creepily flexible, like to a concerning degree.

He strikes me as a language nerd he def has duolingo, and even before the animus, he knew like 15 different languages

He climbs walls (yes, I was a wall climber as a kid, yes I am projecting rn)

ADHD DESMOND

He once got a 70 year old bottle of whiskey from a "friend" from the bar, and he absolutely shows it off every chance he gets.

He has connections to gangs and has gone on bike rides with them.

He can't do basic math to save his life if someone puts a multiplication problem in front of him, he short circuits.

He starts getting really bad nose bleeds from the animus, scares the crap out of everyone.

Definitely knows how to flirt like FLIRT can turn the straightest of men gay for a night if need be. It just gets worse after going through ezios' memories.

Has a list of really weird talents but can't do basic tasks like, yeah, you can dislocate your shoulder and pop it back into place, but can you cook eggs without burning them🤨

Terrible at cooking (95% sure his food is banned under the Geneva Conventions)

Can't walk in a straight line he is the friend who bumps into 1000 times a minute while walking down the side walk.

He is weirdly silent, like even before the animus thing, he is always weirdly quiet like silent footsteps can't hear his breathing etc. He dosent mean to it just happens

The only training that really stuck from the farm was the stealth training it was also his favorite subject to work on he probably hated hand to hand combat.

He has never filed taxes a day in his life, but the IRS could never track him down. He honestly doesn't even know he supposed to be paying them. The IRS has a meltdown over this.

Ok, I think this was enough to satisfy the itch in my brain. I'm gonna go to bed, know I might post a one-shot about the IRS one tomorrow. Idk

[delusinaldreamer19]

Sebastian and Bards relationship in the cannon is not talked about enough.

Not to sound pretentious, but I feel like it may be more accurate to say their dynamic in the context of the series.

The simplistic caveman side of my brain wants to say that they’re just two dudes, which isn’t wrong. But the analytical side of my brain wishes to elaborate 🤗.

Behold my tangent.

One of my favorite lines in this series is when Sebastian tells Bard quote “You fear death, as humans should. You must be the only one in this manor who does.”

(The fact that it pans to Ciel is just 👌👌👌. Good shit, love to see it.)

To me, Bards backstory segments where we saw him adjusting to life in the manor had a different feel to when we saw the same for Mayrin. We got to see her interact with oCiel, Finny, Nina, and even Lau briefly. But with Bard, he was only ever really shown with Sebastian. Or at least mainly.

There’s a stronger sense that Bard doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the household. Which I felt was emphasized by this panel.

I interpret this as him saying “what the hell am I doing in the house full of crazy kids.”

Which leads me back to my main point. Basically, Bard is the most normal human in this house. And who is he paired up with the most? Debatably the least normal “human” in the house.

Except I bet that’s not how Bard sees it. While Ciel may be the master of the house, Bard and Sebastian are the adults of the household. The men of the house if you will. (Yeah yeah Mayrin and Tanaka are adults too. But in Mayrin’s case b/c of her time as a snipper she hadn’t lived as much of a life as Bard, so she’s not quite at the same level of maturity. And I’m going to ignore Tanaka since he’s less of an active player among the servants.)

I’m trying so hard to break down my thought process rn :’) OK, because of this, I bet that Bard views Sebastian as sort of like his bro. They have this shared responsibility to take care of the ‘kids’ in the house. (Take a shot every time I say house).

Honestly idk where I’m going with this. Sebastian is like the strict mother who expects highly of the servants. While Bard is the bad influence uncle that endorses smoking, drinking, and pornography.

They have a weird partnership, one that boarders on a one sided friendship. They both have an unspoken understanding that they share the responsibility of adults looking after children. Only for Bard to then be put back in his place by Sebastian, as HE probably views Bard as just another one of the kids he has to manage.

I swear I had a point, I don’t think I conveyed it properly. Anyway, sorry for the long post. I honestly love Bard as a character, he’s very interesting when you really start to think about it. He doesn’t get enough recognition from the fan base esp when it comes to analytical perspectives.

[whatshereforme]

Since watching the new season of heartstopper ive been playing around with labels again (which I haven’t done since a friend I trusted basically shut me down and told me I can’t just be something without having “tried all my options first” ew). I’m always scared to relabel or try identifying as something other than what I’m comfortable being because I feel like I owe everyone consistency

When I was 15 (I’m 21 rn) I came out as lesbian and honestly I was so comfortable with that and how people perceived me and I kinda loved how my male friends (which I had a lot of back then) treated me. The downside was how the black community treated me, I was mostly in the closet to them but the closet was very much transparent (they could always tell I wasn’t straight lol)

The year I turned 18 I started identifying as bisexual, largely because I thought I might like my male best friend. I proposed the idea and he asked me out almost immediately. We dated for exactly 7 days before I realized I wasn’t really into him like I thought. Downside to this era was the comments my male friends would make about “bisexual girls” to me. The only thing was that I was too scared to start identifying as lesbian again because I had come out to all my friends as bi already.

So I carried that label until now (a few people I know still think I’m probably lesbian still lol). The reason I felt comfortable in this label was because I had just turned 18. I went clubbing and did some excessive drinking for the past few years and being bi gave me an excuse to drunkenly make out with random men on nights out. I still don’t know how I feel about men to this day I guess (I’ve always known I’m romantically attracted to women but I’m always on the fence about men, it’s a bit weird)

My trouble came with the fact that I’m not keen on hooking up with people. No matter their gender I’m just not super excited about the concept of “intercourse” or any of the stuff that comes with it. When the last season of Sex Education came out I watched it with a friend and offhandedly made a joke about being ace in reference to one of the characters and she went “you can’t be ace you just haven’t had sex yet” and that literally sent me spiraling for days and I just pushed the feeling down and ignored it

Earlier this year though I was having one of my late night talks with my little sister because we had a sleepover in the living room. I made a joke about how I’m probably never gonna be in a relationship ever because I don’t really wanna have sex and she asked me if I was being serious. I said yes and she said “there will definitely be people out there that will be with you even if you don’t wants sex, you need to stop being such a dramatic bitch lol”. That was obviously really reassuring to hear someone I love tell me it’s ok to not want sex, even if that person is my straight 17 year old sister.

I’ve been very afraid of being openly asexual because I’m scared no one will love me if I can’t give them sex but also I know I’m capable of loving people without them giving me sex but that’s only because I don’t want sex in the first place. I just feel I will personally be unlovable.

Anyway back to heartstopper. Imogen’s journey with comp het was very much relatable for obvious reasons as I had gone through all that by that age (and am still deliberating to this day if I just crave male attention, which is sad I wish I was still as confident as I was at 16 to know but life took over lol) and of course Issac’s journey with dealing with the affects of being aroace in a world that revolves around romantic relationships and conditions us to believe we need to want sex and romance. I had already read solitaire, Loveless and Radio Silence when I was in secondary school. Radio silence was the first time I felt so utterly seen in a character. That being Aled Last (mostly relating in our similar relationships with our mums). And then I read loveless and it literally put me off kilter of months. To see Georgia’s journey had me reflecting on everything I was taught about relationships and sex and friendships (but then I had exams and graduation and had to put that self revelation on hold lol)

All this to say, I’m deciding from today that I want to identify as Asexual. I know labels can be limiting to some people and they have been to me for that past few years as well but I think being ace is something I have to go to be true to myself. I’m definitely not coming out of the closet anymore I’m too tired of thinking I owe that to people but I’m going to try be honest with myself.

[queenofallimagines]

Hiya, I just read your Lucifer with a devotee ask and I was wondering if you could do the same with Leviathan or Diavolo from Obey Me?

Absolutely beloved! I am not sure how TF I didn’t see this?? (Writing really long Fics is actually so much work)

Leviathan:

- shook

- Literally at a loss

-Thinks you’re joking

- He will notice you, but def won’t notice that YOU are his Henry

- Probably will be like “you’re def not as good at them”

- And gushes about his Henry, and you’re just like 🤨📸

- All the brothers are surprised you follow him and look out for him so easily

- During the TSL arc the only time you’ve ever feared him was then

- after that you flat out don’t talk to him

- Avoid him

- He feels bad but not really bc “why would he feel bad about hurting a normie’s feelings”

- Your pact mark glows then too because I think if you were his devotee he would give you a pact easily after working with you for a while

- Levi was too upset to notice the searing pain in his chest when he attacked you

- Or how cold he felt right after

- Mammon nursing your sprained wrist, and you’re barely listening to him

- Well end up making you spill the beans, and he is FLOORED that you have a pact w Levi bc uh hello?? He’s your FIRST MAN??

- He will keep this a secret but the way more protective of you

- The house is low-key really awkward because of y'all too

- mammon giving Levi the stink eye

- Levi upset he’s feeling so many hurt feelings because he still don’t get y'all two are connected

- Gets REALLY depressed when his most beloved Henry isn’t picking up

- Like he can’t even feel your presence??

- Will barge into your room back in the human realm and move all the shit in your alter around wondering WTF is going on

- Maybe you’re at work or something, weird he didn’t know but okay

- Tries three more times, and you’re not there

- Worried something happened to you

- Gets super upset and Lucifer is like bro wtf is you sniffling for??

- dinner is wild bc when is the HOL not like a soap opera 😭

- Asmo is like the human you made a pact with??

- Asking Lucifer to check and see if your dead because he can only mildly feel your presence, but you’re not talking to him

- Mammon is uncharacteristically quiet

- He’s side eyeing the light blue mark glowing under the table (I HC that his would be in a place that’s always covered like right below your hipbone or like lower back and not more visible the other brothers marks)

- And then looking at you like “are you good?”

- Levi still babbling on about his Henry, and he’s upset they aren’t here

- Mammon is your protector, and he’s gonna stand on business about you EVERY time

- Also he can’t help not saying some slick shit 💀

- “Maybe if ya didn’t try to kill them your ‘precious’ Henry would want to talk to you

- Levi windows blue screen resetting Rn

- Satan messy bitch number 2 just hums and is like “I had my suspicions, but I wasn’t completely sure you were one of his followers”

- Asmo is gushing about how cute this is

- And ofc Levi is too awkward and anxious to even look you in the eye

- Dinner is still awkward but goes by smoother than before

- You go to your room to mind your business as you do, and you hear this timid ass knock on the door

- Like nobody in this house knocks that MF soft Levi IK it’s you

- Shuffles into your room w his head down and starts fumbling over his worlds

-“ you could have told me it was you…”

- “Didn’t think I had to. I never thought you would hurt me….”

- Shaking in his boots as he rambles out an apology and starts spiraling honestly

- You can barely hear him talking low as hell

- “Gah! And then I was bragging to you about YOU… How embarrassing!”

- You let him know you forgive him by teasing him

- “…….so….your so-called Henry was your most favorite?”

- He’s literally fighting for his life MC, please spare him

- Will act like hot shit lmao

- Monopolizing all your time too, like the other 6 bothers are exhausted

- Can’t even work towards getting belphie out of the attic because he’s always taking up your time

- “Sorry I’m borrowing them because we’re going top secret ritual stuff”

- “You are literally just going to play the new Ruri-Chan game”

- “OKAY AND???”

- Asmo sitting back and watching the chaos bc he knows y'all getting down and nasty on the regular

- “Someone go tell them to relax I can hear thumping because they’ve been gaming all morning”

- And he’s blowing your back out and realigning your chakras

- Like you can only cover up the scratch marks and hickeys with his clothes for so long

[detentiontrack]

I am so sorry if this is weird but you seem like you give good advice. Im a recently out trans girl and HOW DO YOU SHAVE YOUR LEGS??? I always end up with cuts on my legs. How do you do it cleanly?

It’s not weird at all!! I’m always open to giving advice to my besties. First off, congrats on coming out! I wish you the best of luck on your transition journey! Second of all, honestly I think most people when shaving get cut. It’s just one of the facts of life. However there are a few things you can do to minimize the chance of it happening

Shaving 101:

So the two main things that result in getting cut while shaving are having too dull of a razor, and shaving on dry legs. You want your razor to be SHARP. I use disposable razors and replace them after a few uses, but you can also buy metal ones with disposable blades. If it doesn’t trigger too much dysphoria, buy the “”mens”” razors (it’s literally so stupid that we separate our razors by gender, but the ones meant for men typically work better, are sharper, and are bigger. Sometimes they’re even cheaper than “”women’s”” razors, which is a whole separate issue I won’t get into rn) it sounds counterproductive, but you’re actually more likely to get cut on a dull razor than on a sharp one. The second thing is that you want your legs to be REALLY wet. NEVER shave on dry skin. Get into the shower with hot water, wash your hair and face, and wait a bit for your skin to soften up. Which direction you shave in really depends on you. Shaving against the grain (meaning, against where the hair follicles are) (typically starting at your ankle and going up) leaves a finer shave, but it also increases the risk of cutting yourself and can irritate sensitive skin. Shaving with the grain (starting at your thigh or knee and going towards your ankles) leaves a less clean shave, but you’re less likely to get cut. Make sure you’re regularly rinsing your razor because if hair builds up on it, it gets harder to use, shaves less, and you will get cut easier. Be VERY careful when shaving around your knees and ankles because those are the places that get cut most easily. Stretch your skin tight while shaving around those areas to minimize things the razor can catch on. After you’re out of the shower, make sure you put on moisturizer or lotion on your legs. Shaving dries out your legs and makes them more prone to irritation, as does hot water. So hydrating your legs is so important. It takes a WHILE to learn how to properly shave. I started at 12, and I still sometimes leave a trail of blood after getting out of the shower if I’m not paying attention. Good luck!!!

[theropoda]

...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol

disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show

i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.

probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.

initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.

hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.

and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new

and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again

ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.

[yuseirra]

Woke up this morning and I'm suddenly so embarrassed about myself...why am I so focused on a .. Why am I so fixated on understanding a character... I'm such a funny person(I do have other things going on my mind too~ believe me ;v;)/ I have a life..I am so dumb!!

But it does help writing things out like this you see, I'm...actually not sure if it has any productive meaning to it now that I think of it, but it IS like solving pieces of a puzzle for me! :D the problem would be that the puzzle is an ongoing story, and it's honestly pretty much impossible for me to reach the mind of the writer who is responsible for creating the piece so nothing is set on solid base, in the end.

Life isn't about having to produce something that's always so useful you know, and maybe doing this CAN be useful in terms of enjoyment and feeling more lively, I just don't need to get too...unhealthily attached to it I guess, I'm all right :D I'm enjoying and having fun!!

It's just... I don't understand just what it is when it comes to the psyche of this specific character, and since I believe in the capabilities of the writers(really;;; these are chapters that are BASICALLY CONNECTED. Why does it feel like it's so disconnected though?) I want to get an idea of what it may be. This really BUGS me. It's not just plain bad writing, right?? Oh come on... I'm still not sure if he's my fav or not bc I don't know what he is!!! After all this time!! and it's ridiculous but I guess there is no way I shouldn't consider him as one at this point huh. Okay. I really do love what he was and of what he could be. Dunno what he IS currently. What a weird character he is. I love his gf though!! She wants to save him and I hope that does come true!! I'm in this for that!(If I'm the writer, I have that happen. Why bring that up in the first place? I'm like 90% sure they will tackle this regardless of how dumb this plot feels rn in relation to that direction)

There will be an ending to the story sooner or later and it's really up to them, but I do hope I can see a proper wrap-up since I dived into this series after having thought there must be! It's too early to be disappointed but...who won't be lol. To see a character in shambles like that with barely any proper explanation to the extent that makes it wonder if it'a lazy writing or intentionally hidden. Hope it's the latter since I think I can spot hints of it being so! If it's not... I could be sad but I didn't make 'em so they do what they wish to do. :)

Today I meet up with my friend and she bakes!♥♥ I asked her if she could bake many different types of bread(commissioned her of it actually!) and she's so good!! I can't wait to try her lemon pound cake again💖 Maybe we'll visit a karaoke again and I could sing Fatal and record that this time, I never go there on my own because I feel shy to sing alone(there's a reason why you need courage stats to do that in p3)

Thanks for enjoying things with me!♥♥ It's been so fun to have interests and be able to share about it with you guys! I hope you have a great day and weekend-upcoming soon!

[baladric]

i've had a lot of weird big developments in my, like. general Personhood in the last 6 months, but one of the deepest and quietest ones is i've stopped identifying as "a musician" or "a singer." if i'm introducing details abt my personhood now, the first thing i lay claim to is "writer" and the second (if it comes up) is "artist"—and i maybe wouldnt even notice this, except i got my current job thru a friend at my old choir job, so i was introduced to this space as A Musician. and now when i'm actually sitting to chat w a person, i mention the writing, and the art, and often receive "gosh, on top of being a musician?! you do it all!!" and i have this really striking moment of cognitive dissonance. bc god, that's not my word anymore, and god, that would shock the person that i was so deeply. bc i had hung so much of myself on that Word, right? i formed all of myself around a profession that had been hurting me deeply since the age of 8. why was i doing that? why was i clinging to it so fearfully for so long?

and sitting here just now, i realized that i was clinging to that concept of myself because i believed, really and truly, that singing was the only thing that made me valuable.

and now what? 24 years after i slapped "SINGER" on my soul and called it proof of an essential worth that should never have been in question in the first place?

now, i have a job that i was immediately and uncomplicatedly good at, where people immediately and uncomplicatedly valued me simply for being warm and curious. now, i have a collection of weird, wonderful friends who want me around even when i'm miserable, which i know bc they will say "man you are so miserable rn, come over here and be wet and pathetic on my couch and i can feed you." now!! now, it's become stunningly easy to know myself as valuable in my entirety, bc i now do so many things for so many people that have nothing to do with music—and even when i do it clumsily or unhappily, i'm still met with gratitude for trying in earnest.

and like obviously that's all huge and wonderful and astonishing, but the most joyous side effect of all rn is that this sense of inherent worth has finally, finally freed me from the paralyzing doubt i've been mired in about my own original fiction. suddenly, i'm in love with my own ideas, and with the process of refining them. i'm in love with my ever-evolving characters and the stories they're here to tell. i'm in love with my willingness to ride out the bad drafts and the dozens of rerolls for scenes that didn't go in the right direction (my scraps doc for Book is 88 pages; Book is 50). like!! for real? for real!!!! i am making things that i am so emotional about, so proud of, so challenged by, and i honestly didn't think i was capable of that at this point. i thought i'd missed the cut-off somewhere along the way. but i didn't, bc i'm here now, chipping away with whole-hearted determination.

just. im sitting here and marveling at having become, quite suddenly, a person who no longer looks at his life and says, "this experiment is unsustainable." bc i did think that. i said to myself almost daily for about 15 years, in this exact phrasing, "i am an unsustainable person." i very sincerely thought i was going to just cease to exist somewhere along the way, in a very undramatic and inevitable way. how miserable is that? how cold is that? how did i bear that for so long?

idk!!! idk, i am just so fucking proud of myself for being who i am now, and im proud of the past versions of me who gritted their teeth through three decades of grief and doubt and violence to get here, and i'm proud of the hard-won willingness to keep changing when it would have been easier in many ways to set myself in stone—and i'm proud of my fucking WRITING, jesus fucking god am i proud of it, i really really cannot wait to share this story 🥹

ok the end, if you read this i am kissing you on the mouth, and if you didn't, i am still kissing you on the mouth, only it's probably a lot more confusing for you bc you don't know why i'm doing that, anyway remember to get yr covid booster + flu shot, ily

[starsinkpop]

what do you think if theres blogs that are not only deeply obsessing with finding out ateez members exact fs but they also discussing their potential body parts. I tried telling them how weird and gross it was of them but they tell me I was taking it too far. what the fuck? am sorry but this kpop tarot thing is what is taking ppls obsession with idols fs too far. its bordering on creepy rn and its not just one blog theres like several of them that mainly focus on idols fs.

some blogs be claiming they dont dig too much but then they still think it ok to even discuss idols sexuality or some other aspect of their personal life.

i’m not really on that side of tumblr or social media so i can’t really say much about it. i have clear boundaries. im fine with certain readings about ateez’s fs but i wouldn’t do more readings than i have online right now. we already know more than enough. i keep getting a crazy amount of asks in my inbox of people trying to fit especially san’s fs aspects. i’m deleting all of them because none of those people reading my stuff and also myself will be their fs. some people really need to touch some grass. when i see certain physical traits in a reading i point them out, however i focus on personality only. what’s bothering me is how almost everyone on here in my inbox assumes that the members are straight. making their fs a girl at all times. we don’t know their sexuality and it’s quite frankly none of our business. we don’t know if their straight or part of the lgbtq+ community. this is why i keep my readings gender neutral because we don’t know shit.

now in general i don’t want to spread any negativity because life itself is already a big struggle for most of us. i want my blog to be a place where people could just entertain themselves for a bit and. so i won’t say anything about other readers because i honestly just can’t. like i said, im not on that side of tumblr. i get your point but you have to remember you’re telling me this, im a kpop (well just ateez) tarot reader myself and i’ve done reading about their fs too so 🤷‍♀️🤣 like i said, i have my boundaries with readings, won’t do any sexual readings and i don’t focus on looks. being someone who was crazily sexualized since being a child, i really hate this side of any fandom. there’s too many obsessions going on. you wanna know what happened when i saw the most recent pool pics of the members, especially san and woo? as a gym girly i was like “woah i really need to know their routine so i can shape my body like theirs” i can just admire them. viewers here are a little too delulu and have a hard time sticking to reality and form an own opinion it feels like. and I’m sure some readers feed into that. it’s giving you a ton of likes and if that’s their main purpose for posting i guess i get it. that doesn’t mean i’m okay with that but i know many people need validation like that. whenever there’s people coming up and officially date like twice’s jihyo for example i always feel really warm around my heart. gives me the feeling they can still have a bit of a normal life.

i don’t really have anything else to say and only repeat myself. i don’t know if i’m the right person to talk to about that, i do readings and did fs readings like what you just complaint about, but i have boundaries and know what’s reality. none of us will be with any of them, ever and viewers should stop honestly believing “omg XYs fs is like this and that, i’m just like that it has to be me they have to do more detailed readings so i can make it fit for myself”.

on another note, and this is in no means anything bad or hate whatsoever, i love getting asks from you but those long asks are sometimes a bit much because im not your diary, love 🤣 no hate. but it just felt like a rant and i do really like rants but my inbox is maybe not the best place for that because i don’t want to spam any of my followers page with that you know?

edit: you can still send me longer asks, but please try fitting the stuff you want to say into one ask and not three or more 💖

[amuhav]

Get to Know Me - Sims Style

tagged by @dandylion240 (if anyone else did too I’m sorry, I’m not seeming to get notifs for tags rn???)

tagging @keibea​ because we need more TS3 rep in tag games like this tbh.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Old age. Because it means my sim actually made it that far and I just love seeing their life play out. Some of the more quirky, simsy ones are great though. Death by Jellybean or Cowplant come to mind lol.

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

I... really don’t like the TS4 MM aesthetic 😅 I really don’t like the clay hair look for my own sims, though think some people do wonderful things with it, and I do like certain Maxis Mix styles, good skin details with clay hair, certain stylised MM styles etc. but the default TS4 clay look is literally why I never moved over to TS4 in the first place, and it took too long for the Alpha scene to really take off in the beginning, so by the time there was enough CC for me to feel I would ever want to jump in, it felt too overwhelming to even try moving to essentially a new medium.

For TS3... I also am not a huge fan of the straight “MM” look either, though I think the distinction is less prominent as it is in TS4. You can easily make most “MM” stuff fit in an “alpha” game simply because they aren’t usually full-on clay the way TS4 MM is, they’re just not quite as detailed as full “alpha” CC. Whereas the other way around isn’t quite as true, intricately detailed alpha stuff might look out of place if most of your other content is vanilla or MM. So I think as well as preferring the aesthetic, I like the flexibility a more “alpha” leaning style can bring.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Storywise, characters are obviously whatever size I make them lol. 

Uh. I don’t know about weight, because I don’t think any of my sims have put on a lot of weight during gameplay. I have definitely cheated muscle levels though. Traumatic flashbacks to Loch suddenly getting BULKED whilst I was letting him run free during Riv’s BC. Absolutely not you little twink.

Do you move objects?

For gameplay, I used to try to minimise doing so just cos it breaks so much routing and stuff. Now I don’t play so I go nuts with MOO. Who needs working doors or stairs or beds anyway?

Favourite Mod?

So many mods for TS3 are kinda essential to even be able to run the game lol, like almost the entire NRAAS suite. I think I’ll have to go with the Remove Stencil mod though, cos being able to undo EA’s weird obsession with shiny clothes by removing the specular is honestly so lifechanging LOL. no more shiny wool jumpers or oil slick jeans 🥰

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

My first TS3 expansion was Ambitions, because I skipped World Adventures, in fact, I think it was one of the last expansions I bought lol. 

Believe it or not, I do actually own one EP, one GP, and one SP for TS4 lmao, back when I thought maybe, just MAYBE. the game might get better, and I was still trying so damn fuckin hard to force myself to enjoy the actual gameplay. So I have Get to Work, but don’t even ask me what the other two are because I haven’t a fuckin’ clueeeee. 

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

...It just occurred to me maybe it is meant to be “LIV” mode because it’s... like. Living mode. Like, Alive Mode doesn’t make sense. But my brain won’t accept it. doesn’t sound right. Always been “LIVE” mod to me lol.

Who’s your favourite sim that you’ve made?

Oh, jeez. Uhhh, I can’t *really* claim most of my current legacy sims because I didn’t make them, they were born in-game, even if I have tweaked the hell out of them in recent years. So if we’re going for physical appearance, I wanna say actually maybe Sylvie for my TS3 sims? She took so long to get just right, especially because TS3 doesn’t really do curvier sims quite as well as TS4, especially not without a fuck ton of sliders, and I had a really specific look to her face in mind that took forever to get right, had to blend her a custom skin etc. But I am finally super happy with her cute lil sassy round face 🥰 Close runners up are probably Qu or Edge.

God, I’m gonna get so fucking shot for this but here goes. Physically, my fave TS4 sims I’ve made are actually both of Tay’s brothers, Ethryon and Ailos, and also probably father, Qariel. I think because I had a little more experience with using TS4 CAS by the time I got to them, more sliders, more skin details, just generally a fuck ton more CAS CC by then, and more time to tweak them etc. As much as Tay will always be my favourite sim OVERALL... yeah. plznoonekillmebye

Have you made a simself?

Ye. I used to update her like. all the timeee too, whenever I got a new haircut etc. And, ofc, Havoc was my alter ego so she’s like. simself adjacent lol.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

God I hate EA’s hair colours in TS3. their blondes are so yellow, the highlights don’t blend well etc. always make my own. TS4 hair colours make me want to actually die, but then again, I hate the clay hair and cartoony colours of vanilla TS4 anyway, so.

Favourite EA hair?

Favourite life stage?

Young Adult, with Teens a close second. You can do the most with the YA age, but the chaos of teenage years are real fun too lol.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I literally can’t play lmao. I have too much CC in TS3 for it to run well enough to play, and TS4... is it even possible to play TS4? joking joking... mostly. I’m in it for the story.

Are you a CC creator?

No. Never. I do not have a CC page I abandoned whatsoever no idea what you’re talking about goodbye. 💀

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

RBSB represent. 

No I hate everyone equally.

@lazysunjade and @thesimperiuscurse have no choice but to be talked at by me every day. I’m inescapable. 

Do you have any sims merch?

I actually had the TS3 Collectors edition that came with the Plumbob USB and I was devastated when it got broken. Like legitimately heart broken lol. 

Miss her so much I just want her back

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Ew.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I used to try so hard to stick to whatever gameplay threw at me, following the actual legacy rules, not editing sims etc, all to the detriment of my actual enjoyment of storytelling. Now I care maybe a little too much about how posts look that I get into a rut of not posting oops bye 💀

What’s your origin id?

Probably the same as my username here lol, but I avoid origin at all costs so couldn’t tell you for sure tbh.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Oh, way too many to choose. For sims 3 CAS stuff, the still active converters like @rollo-rolls, @vmsims23, @simtanico etc. for build and clutter stuff @kerriganhouse, and @martassimsbookcc for conversions. Honestly, I’m kinda out of the loop atm, but there’s just way too many good creators.

How long have you had simblr?

uh. since 2015, I think? let’s not dwell on it 💀

How do you edit your pictures?

Dunno how to answer this? Photoshop, I guess lol? 

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

It used to be pets, cos I loved having animals in the game. Now I always forget they exist oop lol. Probably Supernatural. 

[wonjinburger]

writing prompt #04

bumping into each other as solo travelers ; park sunghoon

태양보다 찬란한 . . . 그게 바로 나

INFO : : park sunghoon x reader / romcom

wc : <1600

notes : this was lowkey rushed bcs i had an idea at 12am but i had to go sleep but i couldn't risk losing the idea

20 JANUARY 2023 : :

2:04 - it's currently 2am and i've just landed in paris, and i'm now heading to my hotel room to take a long ass nap.

13:12 - jk the nap lasted from around 11 hours. now it's 1pm and i'm going to go out for lunch. i've heard a lot of good word about a specific cafe so i'm gonna go try it out!

13:37 - the weirdest things just happened what the fuck? i bumped into this guy, who was really hot btw, by accident. obviously i apologized for it like a normal person but he just scoffed at me and left?? thanks for that random stranger.

23 JANUARY 2023 : :

12:02 - i just had a quick snack and i'm currently on the train to versailles, i wanted to have a quick look at all the beautiful architecture. i find versailles to be such a romantic and beautiful place lol

12:28 - i've arrived at versailles! i have a tour booked for today at 1pm, so i guess i'll walk around versailles for now.

13:13 - no fucking way, the guy i bumped into a few days ago is here too, like, in the same tour group as me. i said hi and he basically looked at me weird and left me standing. thank god idk this guy and i'll never see him again, he seems like an ass.

14 APRIL 2023 : :

10:16 - hi journal, today i'm in the netherlands, i heard about the keukenhof tulip garden and of course i had to come here. i just had breakfast at the hotel i'm staying in and i'm about to head out to the garden to see all the pretty flowers!

11:11 - THE GARDEN IS SO PRETTY OMG BUT THAT EXPERIENCE WAS LOWKEY RUINED. by who you may ask? by FUCKING FRANCE DUDE?? WHY IS HE EVERYWHERE???? like i was taking photos of the pretty flowers and boom, suddenly i see him through the lens of my camera, please get this guy out of my life

11 MAY 2023 : :

00:01 - i have finally done one of the things off my bucket list, and that is to visit switzerland! i always saw tiktoks and photos of the amazing view and obviously i had to come see for myself, but it's 12am rn and i am really tired so i'm gonna go sleep, then i'll explore in the morning

11:42 - okay i woke up a few minutes ago which is quite late, but i'm gonna go down to the hotel's cafeteria and have some brunch before i explore the town

4:51 - hi this isn't funny anymore, i literally just set foot into an eatery near one of the places i was visiting and i see france dude, AGAIN. can he just get out of my life atp please, i'm so sick of seeing his annoying (but ig good-looking) face. AND WHY IS THE ONLY AVAILABLE SEAT LIKE NEXT TO HIS TABLE???

-- (☆)

i'm going back home to korea today, i think i've been travelling way too much, so i'm going to go home and rest up and spend time with my family and some friends.

i boarded the plane and by that point it was 11pm and i was honestly drained. i spent a whole day exploring the more nature-y side of switzerland and the view definitely did not disappoint.

i sat myself down in my assigned seat and was so ready to fall asleep at this point. a guy walked over and sat next to me, and i bet you won't be able to figure out who was gonna be my plane seatmate for almost 12 hours. yeah it was france guy. he seemed pretty surprised to see me too i think.

after he sat himself down next to me, he looked at me, maybe i was staring too hard.. "hey" i looked at him, question marks practically all over my forehead. "can you stop staring at me" i scoffed at him, this guy is ridiculous!

the plane took off a few minutes later and i was starting to doze off, and unfortunately for me i left my neck pillow in my luggage by accident, so my head was dropping left and right.

i suddenly woke up and it felt like i was lying against something? i sat upright to see what i had been sleeping on, and it was france dude? he woke up when he felt me getting up. "you're finally up, my shoulder feels like it's about to dislocate"

'okay sorry for accidentally sleeping on your shoulder but like, rude much'

"oh shit, i'm so sorry. i left my neck pillow in my luggage and i think i just passed out suddenly" he scoffed and i was so close to losing my shit not gonna lie. but the next moment, he handed me his neck pillow and i looked at him while holding the neck pillow. "just use it, i'd rather you use my stuff than you use me" damn okay stranger. "oh, thanks?" and soon he attempted to go back to sleep.

it was currently 8:59am, which meant we still had probably less than 2 hours left of this plane ride, and i was thanking heavens because 12 hours next to this guy would've been hell if i weren't fast asleep.

france guy was moving around in his seat and i assumed he couldn't fall back asleep. i tapped on his shoulders a little to get his attention "hey, you can have your neck pillow back, seems like you can't sleep, and i'm pretty energized right now" he looked at me and sighed "it's fine, i'll just give up on going back to sleep".

after that it was pure silence. and i couldn't stand it so of course i had to open my big ass mouth.

"so.. you travel a lot?" he nodded his gaze fixed on his phone. "alone?" he nodded again still focusing on his screen. damn talking to this guy is so hard. let's bring up the past! "you remember the first time we met?" he finally looked at me. "we've met?" are you fucking serious right now.

"i bumped into you on accident in paris back in january?" he thought about it for a second before replying. "oh! i remember now, you bumped into me and almost spilt your hot coffee all over me" "hey! it almost spilt on me too okay, and i apologized for it" he shrugged it off and went back on his phone.

"you know, i kept seeing you around while i was travelling and at some point i thought you were stalking me" he looked back at me again, his eyebrows furrowed this time. "what the fuck why would i stalk you, i don't even know you?" "it happens sometimes" "hey, for all i know you could be the one stalking me right now" i was taken aback, speechless, i can't handle this guy oh my god.

"you know, your looks and personality clash a lot" he gave me a look that said 'wtf do you mean'. "you're a good-looking guy, like, i'd definitely date you if your personality was nicer" he stared at me for a while and chuckled a little. "for your information i have a great personality" "it sure doesn't seem that way" he scoffed and put his phone down before looking me in the eyes.

"i'm nice to people i'm close to, last i checked, we don't even know each other." "maybe we can change that" he looked shocked by what i said. honestly i'm shocked too, but i mean, he's pretty hot, it would be a wasted chance.

"you want us to get close?" i nodded. "you're ridiculous lady" i rested my head in the palm of my hands as i kept eye contact with him "it's y/n, lee y/n. and you are?" he looked at me in disbelief for a while. "i can't believe this is happening." he let out a deep and heavy sigh before introducing himself. "i'm park sunghoon."

"nice to meet you sunghoon. oh, i was gonna ask if you were korean, but your name just confirmed it for me" "are you heading home right now?" i nodded to his question. "homesick?" he asked, and i nodded. it seemed like he was feeling homesick too. "maybe we should hangout sometime while we're in korea" i blurted out suddenly, to my surprise he didn't oppose of this idea.

i then pushed my phone towards him, "can i have your number then?" he looked at my phone, then at me. "are you hitting on me?" i don't know, was i? i mean, i am interested in him, so i guess? "yeah i am, so what do you say, can i have your number? and maybe we can go out sometime and maybe even travel together?" he stared at me in shock, but his reply lowkey shocked me too.

"sure, let's go on a date soon"

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

[lonelyroommp3]

the only thing i’ll say on the YA/kidlit discourse is that i do think there Are demographics of people that are basically only catered to (commonly) in YA. like i’m a trans girl and i actually don’t like YA basically at all, but it legitimately is hard to find other books like detransition baby or manhunt (already two completely different genres) that feature openly transfeminine characters in interesting stories. like i said i pretty much avoid YA like the plague unless i’ve had a specific recommendation so this really isn’t me being like “ummm but the only good books for queer people are teenybopper books” but i am legitimately sympathetic to other trans girls struggling to break into a market of books that barely ever acknowledge us beyond being a weird sex thing or a joke. the market is dire rn. btw do you have any recs

also just additionally for context: to clarify i am not talking about “representation” which is something i care very little about, but i do think it’s yknow nice to read books that factor transness & transition (totally unavoidable parts of my life) into their worlds and stories, or at least stories written by people who Dont Hate Me etc

i honestly can't say i have any recs because with the exception of a few frenzied months here and there i have, generally speaking, been in a reading slump since about the age of eighteen so i just have not read enough as of late to even begin to build up any sort of rec list. but what i will say is pretty similar to the post i already made which is - in most cases things are out there if you take the time to look. that is not meant to diminish the comparative lack of books by & about & for trans girls and women or express a lack of sympathy for your plight, and it sucks that whatever options i give you will not give anywhere near the same volume of results as they would if i was telling you how to search for books about straight cis women falling in love with hockey players or whatever (fr, i think everybody deserves to have a shitty hockey romance that represents them. this is what progress is really about), and you will probably have to search for longer to find something you really like or connect with, which objectively is a crap situation and gives you added work you didn't ask for.

with that said: one good place to start is lgbt specific bookshops - i'm uk and specifically london based so of course my frame of reference is going to be gay's the word, which i believe delivers at least within the uk and also has the option to filter search results specifically by identity (it's not perfect - there looks to be just one "trans" result so you'll have to actually manually dig to find books specifically focused on trans women). but you're always going to find books there that don't make it into the lgbt+ fiction sections at other bookshops bc, yknow, specifically queer bookshops have the space to specialise and go into much more depth. there's also the chance that if you contact these shops directly (i know gay's the word has a contact/enquiry form that you could probably use even if you're not uk based) the people working there will be happy to give you more specific recommendations

additionally, it is easy to shit on booktok, but i do think once you filter your way past the hundreds of identical accounts all reccing the same 3 romance novels it's honestly really democratised the book rec game, both in terms of reader recommendations and, as i said in my post (albeit in a snarky way that does not really do justice to the range of material of all levels of quality being plugged on social media nowadays), indie authors being able to plug their own material. i literally cannot even download tiktok on my phone bc it does some insane cocomelon shit to the adhd part of my brain, but i'm sure by searching general hashtags related to trans lit, transfem authors, etc you should be able to find accounts or at least one off videos dedicated to those specific recs (and that goes for, honestly, any category of identity be it gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, disability, etc etc etc). plus, yknow, it's all about The Algorithm, so engaging with content made by transfem authors or writers otherwise including trans women positively in their stories (or content about those works) is just going to boost those stories to more potential readers and show authors, publishers, bookshops etc that there is a keen market for good stories about trans women

basically all that was a very roundabout way of saying like. 100% it's shit and annoying that as soon as you're looking for books about any marginalised groups you end up having to do increasingly elaborate google-fu just to find something halfway decent to read, while some other people can just walk into a chain bookshop and immediately find 50 books For And About Them on the very first table. but at the same time "having to do slightly more work to find these books because they're not in the immediate mainstream" is not the same as those books not existing, especially when we are in the goodreads booktok international delivery at the click of a mouse era, and so i tend to be wary of subscribing to any train of thought that mistakes the former for the latter

[dreamwritesimagines]

Hii love, it’s me again. I have a flu and absolutely bored my ass off in the bed so here we go.

I made the beginning/internal thoughts of Logan in the AU of cage fighting. Not so proud about it, could be a lot better but screw that. It’s honestly how I feel his first impression of Sunshine would be.

***

He’s sick of this life. Of constant changes of places. Of fighting and selling himself like some kind of animal to watch fighting. But it’s his life for five years now. The shitty bar fights which results are known before he even steps into the cage. No one can beat him and he sometimes even feels some kind of pity for the young dumb guys who are trying to impress their dates. But most of the time he doesn’t even care as long as they pay him. In the end, every time someone tries to make a fool of him, not paying enough or doing other dumb shit, he gets mad, take the claws out and has to move out of the way before the cops arrive. Five freaking years…

It’s a Friday night. The usual crowded bar, most of the people too drunk to even think straight. It’s almost 3 am so it’s probably the last dance of the night before he can finally get his share of the dirty money. Never enough, as always. Damn he wants to smoke so bad.

In the meantime when the owner is hyping crowd so some stupid brat volunteer would get into cage and put his money on, he spots a young lady sitting near the bar. She’s dressed in grey hoodie and some kind of jeans; clearly trying to vanish and not get any unwanted attention. He can’t recognize her, it’s weird because usually there’s no single woman in here after midnight; none of them is that dumb and reckless to do such a stupid thing.

The fight was one of the easiest one. The teenage bub who tried to impress his buddies wasn’t even probably old enough to buy himself beer, not to mention that he shouldn’t have fought someone like Logan. But Logan doesn’t care anymore. Business is dirty and he needs money. So after he smashed him up, he got to the back, got himself dressed and went to the bar. He needs a drink.

The lady is still here, which is definitely a dumb decision. He looks her up with a judging face, but then remind himself: he doesn’t care. Shouldn’t care.

“Lost yourself pretty girl?” some drunk asshole approached her.

Dammit… it’s gonna be long night…

***

Hope it makes sense. I feel like guys from Sunshine uni wanted to “teach her lesson” about being too kind and trusty (we all know that in reality they only wanted to laugh their ass off about this shitty prank) so they planned hanging out in this bar that Logan was fighting and obviously stand Sunshine up.

Sending love and I hope everything works fine for you ❤️

Omg honeeey you're so sweet and I absolutely love this! ❤️ You're amazing, thank you so so muuuch! ❤️

I love the cage fighter AU so much🥰 It's kind of like a completely different dynamic than they have rn and it's so interesting! ❤️

Logan's inner monologue is so good! ❤️ Like, he would definitely be on the edge and quite annoyed during those cage fight nights and he just wants to get it over with, and the way he feels restless and tired at the same time, oh it's wonderful! 🥰

LOGAN NOTICING HER RIGHT AWAY AAAAAA-

Sunshine trying to blend in with the crowd and not being able to do that loll😂

He looks her up with a judging face, but then remind himself: he doesn’t care. Shouldn’t care. You sure about that Logan? ARE YOU SURE?

Omg those guys would be such assholes yeeees! 😱

Logan would step in right away! 😏 There's no way he'd let some drunk guy hit on her😏

Thank you so much, this is wonderful! 🥰🥰🥰

[chronicbeans]

Idk about you, but personally I like Wally because of his hair. I mean come on! He's clearly put a lot of effort into his appearance and I respect that.(But it was mainly because of fan fiction and fan art I'll be honest...and probably because he's kinda mysterious at the minute)

But in response to the writing for the whole thing, I respect the heck out of that! I love how welcomed I feel here and I honestly hope the best for you in regards to being able to having your writing recognized more, you definitely deserve it :)

Thank you so much for the compliment! I try my best to make people feel comfortable and accepted here! Oh, yeah, it is true that he is mysterious rn! If I had to make an educated guess as to why I like him so much, it is because he seems to either be evi/antagonist or in danger. At least, that's what the fandom seems to believe. I won't get into speculation though, for Clown's sake. I just tend to love characters that are horrible, sympathetic, go through absolute torment, and/or fit a certain aesthetic!

Putting a read more because I think I started ranting about the types of characters I love. Also, SPOILERS FOR A COUPLE OF GAMES/SHOWS I AM SORRY AHH-

Wally is just so out of left field in comparison to a lot of the other characters. Like... imagine going from uh... I think it was either Victor Frankenstein or Dr. Takuto Maruki, to a small little muppet man. (OH WAIT NO I JUST CHECKED. I actually went from Sunny's dad from Omori. I just lived my Smol bean interpretation of him. Everyone thinks he's evil or cruel but I don't really believe it, personally).

I also tend to love the characters that are not well liked (Like Sunny's dad omfg I love him-). An example is Dr. Daniel Dickens from Angels of Death. Everybody thinks he's really weird and creepy, which he is, but I find his character to be extremely intriguing and, as such, loveable! Same with Reverend Gray from Angels of Death. They both fit the villain/antagonist role, as well as fitting a certain aesthetic (mad doctor/scientist and evil priest).

Takuto Maruki fits the more sympathetic part, but he is also considered an antagonist. I wouldn't consider him evil, due to his plans being to try to make the world a place of eternal happiness in response to his own grief (kinda like "if I can't be happy, I'll make sure everybody else is"). I also don't believe I love him the exact same way everybody else does. Like, you either love him or hate him, but I haven't seen many people be like "I have a HUGE CRUSH on this man" besides the characters in the game.

Maison Talo, the character I mentioned in my post, is also kind of (not that much) in the same boat as Maruki, but in a more disturbing way. He isn't trying to help the world, he is just trying to survive, and it seems like he might've been on the brink of dying when you got there from the way I interpret some of his dialogue. He's GOTTA eat people, and depending on your choices/ending he seems to feel genuinely bad for having to eat you. So, at least for me, I can't help but feel a little bad. Kind of like when you see a lot of people calling a vampire or something a monster for trying to drink blood, but then you think to yourself "wait... Don't they HAVE to drink blood? They kind of have no choice."

OMG AND I ALSO LOVE THE OBSESSIVE CHARACTERS! I have never really been into romance, but I LOVE yanderes. I don't condone their actions, of course, and needless to say I would PROBABLY be horrified if I ever met one in real life. It is more like... the psychology of what would make a character a yandere that I like. Then, I can't help but get just as obsessed with them as much as they are with their love! I even kind of try to imagine what would make the other, non-yandere characters I love become a yandere, or if it might just be impossible.

The last kind I can think of right now are characters I relate to. I have a crush on Lewis Finch, from What Remains of Edith Finch, because I can relate in a small way to getting dragged into your daydreams. I have seen others interpret him as hallucinating, but I got more of a daydream vibe from him. It was the first time I saw a character that I can relate to in that aspect, so I really liked him! Then, like turned to a crush, overtime, as I investigated his room more in an attempt to figure out more about his personality.

I am so sorry this is so long! I just like to explain why I love certain character types! I kind of have a passion for it, maybe because I love writing characters, myself. It was a lot of fun to write this, too! YIPPEE!

If anybody got this far and want to talk about the types of characters they tend to like I will be more than happy to read the comments. I am very passionate about this sorta thing (ofc, not in a "YOU HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME ON THIS" but more of a "I love to talk about this" sorta way)!