#i havent slept in 27 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nhescio]

Okay I have a visceral need for a hannigram time travel fic but instead of the typical Will or Hannibal fix-it, the person that time travels back is none other than Frederick fucking Chilton. Like imagine Chilton wallowing around all crispy and stuff after being human torched wondering what he’s done to deserve everything he’s been through. And when he’s finally okay enough to be discharged from the hospital to go home, an anvil falls on him or smth. And as he’s lying there incredulously, he’s like, yknow what? Im not even upset about this. I think Ive suffered enough near death experiences. Please just let this one put me out of my misery. And as his eyes finally drift shut, he hears an alarm blaring in his face. An alarm from his phone. His phone which, when he goes to shut it off, displays an impossible sequence of numbers— the plastic screen shinning with a date from four years past.

So after freaking out and confirming that he is indeed in the past, (and weeping in joy over his unmutilated body) Frederick does the obvious— he packs his bags, pays a visit to the bank, and gets on the next available flight out of the country.

And then his plane crashes and he dies.

But of course he doesn’t die because that seems to be a common theme in Frederick Chilton’s life!

So he’s jolting out of bed again to that same alarm and he tries not to tear his own face off (not that he would ever actually do that cause he knows how easily he could lose that precious face). And (after a few more tries) since this time loop bs isn’t letting him run away, he does the next best thing— phoning the FBI with a tip so that they would investigate Hannibal Lecter and put him behind bars for good. But of course Hannibal somehow finds out and discretely shakes the FBI off his trail while simultaneously sending one of his murderer protégés after Frederick. And so not even a month passes by before Frederick finds himself dying and waking to that infuriating alarm again.

And he keeps going through different loops trying to avoid being “murder tableau of the week”, but failing miserably every time. After dying for what feels like an infinite number of times, he’s realized two main consistencies. Number one, he can’t personally expose Hannibal Lecter as the ripper if he doesn’t want to be gutted, and two, the sooner Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter begin their weird courtship, whether from Frederick’s deliberate meddling or from ripples of unrelated actions, somehow he’s left with much less blood and chaos in the aftermath. In one incredible timeline, Frederick even managed to only sustain one life threatening disembowelment for three years before accidentally making a rude comment about Will Graham’s lack of a social life, thereby leading to a cold death in the Atlantic.

After this revelation, he vows to get Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter to bang each other as soon as possible for the sake of his own self preservation— going through elaborate plans like befriending and recruiting the FBI’s forensics team, or snapping Jack Crawford out of his obliviousness so he’d bluntly give them a nudge, or even once flirting with Will Graham himself to get Hannibal Lecter jealous (note: that attempt did NOT end up well).

And one day, after a shocked text from his “Sassy Science Matchmaking Squad” group chat proclaiming that Hannibal and Will, lovingly dubbed Hannigram by the group, had spontaneously quit their jobs and run away to Europe together, Frederick suddenly realizes he hasn’t been stabbed or burned or maimed or drowned or disemboweled once! He thinks back to his early success in this timeline— silently high fiving with Beverly and Jimmy (Zeller, the spoilsport, had refused to partake) while voyeuristically watching Will and Hannibal shyly having their first kiss in the shadows of a filthy crime scene. In fact, he didn’t think anyone in their immediate circle had been stabbed or burned or maimed or drowned or— well you get the point.

And as one year turns to two to four to eight with no word from Hannibal or Will except the occasional postcard, a sort of cautious optimism starts building in Frederick’s heart. The years continue to fly by until one day, Frederick finds that his hair has turned a snowy white, and that his legs are too weak to support his aching body. He tries to take in a breath to laugh but it comes out as a wheeze. He’s at the end of the line once more, but this time at the end of a healthy, fulfilling life. His only wish is that he’s finally allowed to move on. And as he feels his life slowly drifting away from him, Frederick wonders if he’s accomplished whatever divine mission that godforsaken time loop had wanted him to complete. It really feels like he did the best he could this life, preventing every possible death on the East Coast by sending Hannibal and Will packing early. Sure, he feels bad for the poor suckers in Florence or Paris that were probably flambéed for a pretentiously fancy brunch, but realistically, those two would always leave a body count no matter where they went.

All Frederick wants now is to pass in peace. With a heavy sigh, Frederick willingly closes his eyes one last time, content to move on into whatever lies in the beyond.

And he dies. For real this time. Woohoo!

The End

[incorrectskyrimquotes]

if im gonna be cringe I may as well go all the fucking way babey

[narutomaki]

hey genuine question here: why does it cost me nearly 80$ to ship art from an American store regardless if size but under 1kg ... but it (would) costs me under 60$ to get 0.7kg of (art) stuff from Japan? both I'd be getting charged the same amount of import fees on if any.

[tsutslover]

I wanna be my own person, but i cant really do that when im 16 and kinda stupid

[ally0ally]

I havent slept for 27 hours bc I've been watching the Dead Boy Detectives. I regret nothing. It's awesome. 10/10 would recommend. Will be rewatching in the near future.

[zedogica]

mmmm grandma this garlic bread is good enough to fuck! sorry. its just really good haha. cant tell if this is funny or not i havent slept in 27 hours

[midasgutz]

i sleep to this one specific youtube video so often im like trained to get sleepy if i hear it. or maybe i just havent slept in 27 hours

[specialmouse]

Anyyyyway. I havent slept in 27 hours

[my-bipolar-journal]

27/02/2023

hi,

too long huh ...lots of shit to cover... had math exam on 21st...will pass.

23rd ...parth one of my besties proposed to me

eco on 24th, went gud

24th feb also my bday, had exam, got lots of wishes...aryan wished me like the sweetest text, punit wished too, i was acting like yeahh thankkss wateva...then had dinner with family the whole family.. i luv that.. we dont do it a lot since seperation though.

25th feb ...threw a heck of a party. had so much fun..tried beer..dont like...got the best pics

26th...went to bhawan , went to tattooo studio with ash ...slept 15 hours

woke up today...wasted my day....tmna angry coz i didnt tell her earlier parth proposed.. i kinna like pranav but he's not so sure..ig it'll be embarassing for him to date sm1 like me coz m dumb and ugly n all...n he cares for his reputation.

tmna is all i care bout rn also ion wanna hurt any of my frnd's feelings.

m feeling sad rn , n i havent started studying for accounts

ps- the boob tape, tore my skin ...never using it again

[space-cops]

they’re so cute!!!!!!!

[thepunmaster]

[ID: tumblr post by martin-is-a-real-person. It reads:

(all caps, big font) Pride bucket profile pics

(small font, italics) You’re welcome

(plain text) Feel free to use these however you want [open mouth smiling emoticon]

following are six pictures of a bucket over the following pride flags: asexual (black, gray, white, purple); agender (black, gray, white, light green, white, gray, black); aromantic (green, light green, white, gray, black); aroace (orange, light orange, white, light blue, blue); bisexual (pink, purple, blue); and demiboy (gray, light gray, light blue, white, light blue, light gray, gray). the bottom two are cut off. / end ID]

*repeats to myself* This is from the stanley parable, this is from the stanley parable, this is from the stanley parable

[wolvenjay]

Is this funny? No. Did I make it? Well, yeah, obviously...

[sephville]

please look at my shitty xiao. i love him so much

[benny-gecko-official]

yeah i've been modding for three days guess you could say i'm a pro try not to be jealous

[mood-biaswrecked]

Hoseok: Truth or dare?

Yoongi: Truth.

Hoseok: How many hours did you sleep this week?

Yoongi: Dare.

Hoseok: Go to sleep.

Yoongi: I don't like this game.

[bloggideon]

Wow-

I just realised that was the last Sander vlog ever. I-

Imma go cry myself to sleep. Ciao 😗✌🏻