#i havent had one in months & a guest at work last night came in with one & it sounded good so i got one tonight as a treat

[heyitslapis]

the microplastics in a cookout milkshake are like seasoning to me 💙

[kireimarkeu]

We got Married!; mk.l

[johnny]

character: oc x husband!mark lee

summary; where you and mark join a television show as husband and wife.

genre; fluff!

word count: 5.6k

a/n; i wasn’t really planning to write a wgm ver for mark, but i had so much ideas suddenly come to me so here it is :) i think i’ve grown and has written different kinds of fics, and i feel really confident in this one! i think you can see the difference if you read the johnny one compared to this hehe :) i really hope you guys like this because i reallyyyy did!!!

also, thank you guys for 500 followers! i havent done much but repost old works, but still got followers lmfaooo 

also a little note: bold + italic means mark is in the studio watching the show together

italic means questions are being asked to y/n and mark in the interview area

enjoy you guys :)

Episode 22

“Hello, I am NCT Mark and I am 22 years old,” a smile adorns his lips as the boy next to you bow at the camera.

“Hello, I am Mark’s wife, Y/N, and I am 21 years old,” you greet, bowing politely at the camera.

“This is the first time we have very young guests coming to our show,” one of them said.

“I think many fans are wondering why you had gotten married at such a young age?” one asked.

Another continued, “yeah, I don’t think it’s common in Korea,” they said, “I heard that Mark used to live in Canada for some time, is it common to get married at such a young age, there?” 

Mark chuckles, shaking his head, “No, no, we both decided to get married young because we have always talked about spending our 20s together.”

“How long have the both of you been married?”

Mark looks at you before answering, “We got married just a few months ago, actually.”

“To be exact, it has been about 4 months now,” you continued.

“How long did you guys date?”

“We dated for about 3 years, before we both decided that we wanted to get married straight away,” your husband answers.

“Wait, 3 years? But the news of you guys dating came out a year ago, though?”

“We dated secretly~” Mark replied shyly.

“You guys are the youngest couple to be on our show, has anyone been opposed to the idea of you guys getting married at such a young age?”

Your hand lands on your husbands shoulders, “to start, of course we received a lot of hate comments online when the news came out, but we knew this was what we wanted, so we never really doubted for a second.”

Mark agrees with your words, “yeah, our parents were also a little skeptical by our plans but we were adults and had explained clearly why we wanted to get married at such a young age.”

You hum along with Mark’s words. 

“Tell us honestly, was it hard dating someone when you are one of the biggest boy group in Korea?” one of them asked Mark.

Mark though for a moment, he wasn’t sure if he should spill out the truth or just butter everything up. “Well, of course it was. I knew what I was getting into and so did Y/N,” he says, “and as expected we knew that if we get caught, there would be tons of comments about us.”

“How did you overcome the mean comments?”

“Of course, we had both shared tears because of those comments, but we promised to never leave each other because of what others think.”

The scene started with the both of you eating breakfast at the dinner table. 

The casts of We Got Married started laughing at the sight of Mark’s bed head.

“You know, we really need to go grocery shopping,” you tell your husband who was sitting before you. 

He hums, “we’ll go this afternoon, I need to get some things too,”

You swallow your food, “what things, babe?”

“Doyoungie’s birthday is just around the corner, and I wanna bake him a cake,” he tells you. 

You squint your eyes at the boy, “bake? Are you sure you won’t burn down our kitchen?”

He rolls his eyes at your words, “I’m a grown up, babe, I definitely know how to bake,”

“Didn’t Mark went trending for a while when he cooked eggs?” the members laugh. 

“I remember that!”

.•° ✿ °•.

The scene changed to the both of you in the grocery store. You were searching for ingredients that you had written down in your phone. 

You would often forget items, so before you leave the house, you would type down all the things you would need in your phone.

Mark on the other hand, would get food on impulse- mostly snacks and instant food. You don’t mind, but space is limited, every time your husband joins you, he would overspend and in the end, you wouldn’t have space to keep all the extra food.

“Baby, you know we don’t need all these,” you sigh tiredly, your hand gesturing to the different types of chips laying in the cart. “Just pick one, honey, we can’t have everything from the store,” you say exasperatedly. 

Mark pouts at you but quickly removes most of the chips until there was 2 left. You decided to close an eye since you saw one of the new chips that you had been dying to try out. 

“Have you gotten the ingredients for the cake?”

Mark raises his eyebrows at your words, his hands digging through the pile of food in the cart before pulling out a box of cake mix. 

Episode 27

“Let’s welcome the couple who has received good remarks after coming to our show!” one of them said, followed by a series of claps. 

“Wah~ I really did not expect to receive so much nice comments,” Mark says with his hands placed on his chest, “Thank you so much everyone, y/n and I spent the whole night reading all of your comments.”

“Actually, I’m curious,” one of them quickly adds in, “how did the baking go for your member’s birthday?”

“I ended up burning the cake, so Y/N helped me from scratch,” he says sheepishly.

The casts laugh in unison. 

“Did Doyoung know?”

Mark shakes his head, “I lied and told him that I was the one who made the cake, but he didn’t believed me, so I ended up telling him the truth,” Mark says, flustered.

The scene started with the both of you walking in the park. Strings of coos left the casts lips when they saw you wearing a dress with your hair braided to one side. 

With squinted eyes, the both of you tried to find a good shaded spot in the park before putting down a disposable picnic mat, placing each of your shoes on each corner to prevent it from flying around.

You place the picnic basket in the middle of the mat while Mark took a seat, enjoying the view. You took out all the food that you had prepared a few hours prior. 

“Do you need help, babe?” you hear your husband ask from beside you. 

You shake your head, “I’m good,”

After you had settled all the food down, you finally let your legs stretch before you, leaning your head on your husband’s shoulder. 

Mark’s hand that was previously resting on the plastic picnic mat, finds yours, lacing his fingers with you, “this is nice isn’t it?” 

You nod, letting out a satisfied hum. You point towards his phone, “I think you have some songs prepared for this particular moment, am I right?”

“Oh, Mark do you actually have multiple playlists for different occasion?” one of the cast asks. 

Mark nods sheepishly, “I think it just became a habit of mine,”

“I’m not surprised though- he is in the music industry after all, I think it is pretty common, right?”

“I suppose so? It just doesn’t feel right to me if the music doesn’t match with the vibes.”

Mark reaches out for his phone, clicking on a particular playlist called ‘when the sun’s out’. Soon, the first song started playing softly in the background. 

A content sigh leaves your lips, “you know, if I had to choose one thing I’m grateful for you, it has to be your taste in music,” you tell him, quickly pressing your lips against his cheeks softly. 

Mark turns red at your gesture, his hand clutching yours tighter.

“Now I’m curious, what is your favourite song at the moment,” one of them asks, turning to face Mark.

“I really like Justin Bieber a lot,” he answers, “But right now, I can’t stop listening to Good Days by SZA.”

An hour has past by, most of the food already gobbled up by you two. 

“Babe,” Mark calls, poking you on the arm. 

“Hm?”

“Aren’t you tired?” he asks you, “you woke up super early to make food.”

A soft smile spreads across your lips, “a little, why?”

Your husband softly pats his lap, “come lie down and nap a little. The wind feels really good right now,”

You cleaned everything up and made space for yourself. You comfortably laid your head on Mark’s lap. 

“You know,” you started, “I really wish I could look at you right now, but the sun’s too bright.”

Mark rolls his eyes, “don’t be annoying and go to sleep,” he says, his finger softly flicking your cheek. 

A soft laughter left you before you finally shut your eyes, dozing off quietly while laying in your lover’s lap. 

Once Mark realises that you were asleep, he quietly raises his hands to cover your face from the sun. 

“Awww! You are such a romantic, Mark!”

When you realise the bright light was gone, you open an eye to look at your lover who was looking at his phone, with his hand still high up to cover you from the bright sun. 

A smirk adorns your lips, your eyes shutting close. You grab his hands, startling your husband. Lacing your fingers with his, you bring them down to your chest. 

“I don’t want your arms to be in pain,” you mumble, stroking his hands with your thumb. 

You hear Mark scoff at your statement, “I think I can handle it, babe. But, whatever you say.”

A few moments later, you feel his sculpted hands playing with your hair. He would occasionally massage your scalp or tangle your hair between his fingers. 

You didn’t say a word, feeling comfortable. 

The episode ended with Mark pressing a long kiss on your forehead, before pulling away. 

“This couple is too cute!” 

“It’s really unfair that I’m still single, this couple makes me want to get married so bad!” one of them agrees.

Episode 35

“After a long time, the couple is finally back again for another episode!” the cast says excitedly, “the last time they were here, the couple went on a romantic picnic date, leaving us all with envy!”

Mark laughs at their comment.

The scene started with the both of you entering the SM building. You had a cap and a mask on, hopefully to cover your identity from the fans waiting outside.

Although the news of you guys being a married couple had came out a few months ago, there were times where you did not feel like getting your pictures taken. Which, to be honest, was a rare moment for you and Mark since he is one of the biggest boy group.

You held onto your husband’s hands who was leading the way to the practice room. 

Once he finds an available room, Mark quickly puts his things down on an empty table. 

“Okay, so first we need to do some stretching so we don’t hurt ourselves when we dance later,” Mark tells you.

“Why did you want to dance?”

“To be honest, I really hate working out,” you tell them truthfully, “so I asked Mark if he could teach me some dance choreography,”

“Are you good at dancing?”

You laugh, “absolutely not! I have never danced in my life, so this is my first time.”

“She’s too adorable!”

“Babe, can we do something super easy?” you request, taking off your cap since it was covering your vision. 

Your husband nods, “yeah, we’re gonna do Kick It today.”

You wince at that. Kick It is the easiest he could think of? You didn’t say anything, following whatever your husband says. 

“Okay, so, we won’t do like- the whole choreography,” your husband enunciate. Just as you were about to let out a relieved sigh, Mark continues, “we’ll do from the first chorus onwards.”

Your mouth went wide. 

The casts laugh at your reaction.

“Okay, so the chorus kinda goes like this-” he shows you, looking at you through the mirror, “you know it right? you’ve done it before,”

You were at a loss of words, “I mean- I guess? But it’s not perfect so you still have to teach me!” you whine. 

Why is he going so fast? you though to yourself.

“Okay, okay,” he chuckles. 

For the next few hours, Mark teaches you the choreography step by step. 

Your husband was standing behind you, his hands resting on yours, positioning your hands at the right position. 

However, you ruined the romantic moment by stepping away from the male and turning to face him with furrowed eyebrows. 

The casts let out a series of grumbled sighs. 

“Why did Y/N step out? It was such a romantic moment!”

“Exactly!” the other adds on.

“Can we please take a break?” you whine, wiping the sweat that was rolling down your forehead, “I’m so tired,” you huff out, throwing yourself at your husband as he captures you in his arms. 

Mark chuckles, agreeing. He grabs your hand, pulling you to sit down on the empty chair. He quickly runs to the other side of the room to grab two bottles of water, opening one of them and passing it to you. 

He opens one for himself before gulping half of the bottle down his throat.

After you had gulped the whole bottle down, you tried to catch your breath. “I didn’t know it would be this tiring,” you confess, “is this what you go through everyday?”

The boy chuckles, “yeah, but a shorter period.”

You roll your eyes at his statement, “Okay, show-off,” you joke. 

Meanwhile, in the background, Kick It was playing on repeat. An idea pop in your head. 

“Wanna know something?” you asked your boyfriend. 

He nods.

“I’ve been practicing your rap part of this song,” you tell him, “I can rap your part word for word without any mistakes,” you say arrogantly, a smirk forming on your lips. 

“Oh yeah?” he challenges, “my part is coming up, I would love to see you try, babe.”

You stand up from your sitting position with your bottle of water in hand. Getting ready for the verse, you bring your hand that was holding the bottle to your mouth- pretending it was a mic. 

“I’m really excited to see Y/N rap,”

“Me too, she seems so confident,” the other adds on.

When the verse started playing, you rapped your husband’s part. 

Mark started laughing hysterically when you started mumbling random words. “Dude!” your husband laughs, his hand slapping his knee multiple times when you rap incoherently. 

His laughter only ceased when the music stopped. “Oh my god,” he says breathlessly, his fingers wiping the tears from his eyes. “I think you should replace me in NCT,” he jokes. 

Just as you were about to reply, you heard a group come in. You turn around swiftly, your eyes widening when you see the familiar girls walk in. 

“Oh, oh,” Wendy cheers, “what’s the couple doing in the practice room alone?”

“Oh my god, is that Red Velvet?” one of them asks, looking over at Mark with widened eyes. 

Mark laughs and nods his head. 

“Oh.. perhaps, you could ask them for their autograph the next time you see them,” they ask sheepishly, “my bias is Seulgi,” they quickly add on.

Mark laughs harder at that, “sure, if I see them around, I’ll make sure to ask for their autograph,”

“Oh hello,” you greet the girls, they bow politely back at you. 

Your husband chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck as he greets the girls. “I’m just practicing with Y/N”

Mark never got the chance to properly meet them in private- it was either with his members or never. Hence, he felt a little nervous seeing them in private.

Irene raises her eyebrows, “are you guys performing for something?” she asks, pointing at the both of you. 

You shake your head, “I just wanted to learn for fun,” 

Wendy nods, “are you guys going to practice some more?” she asks, looking at the both you expectantly, “cause’, if you guys want to, go ahead. Our choreographer is going to be late so we have time to spare.”

Mark checks the time on his watch before shaking his head, realising it was already pretty late and didn’t want to disturb the girls with their schedule. 

“No, it’s fine, we have to go anyway. I don’t want to steal your hour,” he says politely.

Ever since Mark had debut years ago, it was very hard for this group to book the practice room. So, whenever they managed to get the room, they would often use the room until the next person comes in.

You and Mark start packing up your things as the girls settle down and starts stretching. 

The girls bid the both of you goodbyes as you quickly left the room. 

“Oh my god,” you gasped, your hands clutching onto your husband’s arm as he looks at you in astonishment. “I just met Red Velvet,” you say to the boy next to you. 

You hit his arm multiple times, “I literally met Red Velvet! I even talked to them, babe!” you squealed, hitting his arms harder. That was until Mark grabbed your hands for you to stop hitting his poor arm. 

“Y/N hasn’t met Red Velvet?” they ask. Mark shakes his head, no. “Why not?”

“I knew she liked Red Velvet but she never really asked me if she could meet them,” Mark explains, “and we had this conversation before- meeting the other people in my company,”

“What about?”

“Y/N told me that she didn’t want to take advantage of my privilege, even though when I told her it was fine,” Mark explains. “So she never really asked about wanting to meet Red Velvet, or any of the other people in my company.”

“Jeez- babe,” he chuckles, putting your hand down and instead wrapping his arm around your shoulder, tugging you closer to him. “You were never that excited when you see me,” he jokes. 

The both of you reach the ground floor, stepping out of the elevator. 

“That’s because you’re not the prettiest girl group in the world!” you reply cheekily, a smirk playing on your lips.

“How long have you been a fan of Red Velvet?”

You hum, thinking back all the years you have been listening to their songs and collecting their PC Cards. 

“I think it was a few months after debut?” you doubtfully reply. “It was when I had just came to Korea for school and one of their music was playing in a store, and I really liked it!”

Episode 43

“Ah, our Mark Lee! Where did you go?” the cast whined, tugging on his arms. 

Mark cackle shyly, hiding his face slightly, “I’ve been very busy these days~” he says shyly, “my group had just finished promoting our recent full album,” he explains.

The casts cheers. 

“I heard you guys won first for many awards!” one of them says, “congratulations to NCT! As expected, our talented group with many talents and visuals,” they compliment.

“Thank you,” Mark gives his signature grin, “actually, I felt bad for not being able to come on here for so long, so I actually brought our albums to gift it to you guys,” Mark says, reaching for the stacks of albums in the bag. 

He hands each one of them the signed and personalised albums to the casts. 

“I can’t wait to listen to this!”

“Is Y/N featuring in any of the songs?” they joke.

This time, the show started with you in the kitchen. You were cooking dinner since some of his members were coming over. 

Mark on the other hand was sitting in the living room. He was seated on the floor, with papers spread all over the table. He had one of his hand holding a pen, swirling it around, while the other was pressed against his cheek. 

“I wanted to produce a song with my own lyrics for this upcoming album,” Mark explains to the cast since they seemed to be a little confused. 

“Have you produced a song with your own lyrics before?”

He nods, “I have, but I received help from others. This time I want to make a song that only has my own lyrics,” Mark explains.

“I never really got to ask an idol this question- but, is it hard to have your songs to be featured in an album?” one of them asks. 

The spotlight was on Mark. 

Mark nods, “it really depends. They usually focus on the music itself- since lyrics can be changed, but if the lyrics are too personal, most of the time they don’t really let you put it in a group album.”

“Did your song manage to be in the album?” one asks. 

“Nope,” mark chuckles. 

The casts laughs with Mark. 

“Because it was too personal?”

Mark simply shrugs, and points at the screen to continue watching. 

A heavy sigh leaves past the boy’s lips. He was staring blankly at the piece of paper. 

The camera manages to capture everything that was written on the piece of paper. Messy scribbles was the only thing that could be seen. 

“Babe,” you called. Mark quickly looks up at you, a pout on his lips. “Make sure you clean the table before the guys come,” you tell him, pointing to the mess on the coffee table. 

This morning, Johnny had contacted Mark saying that he misses him and wants to visit. You quickly agreed, since you haven’t seen the boys in so long.

He hums, slamming his head softly on the coffee table, a groan coming out of him when he hit his forehead a little too hard. 

A small chuckle left your lips when you heard his groans, “inspiration will come, babe,” you advise as you wipe the plates, “be patient.”

Mark turns his head so his cheek was pressed against the table as he stares at you. 

“You look so pretty,” Mark mumbles, but you hear him clearly. 

“Does Mark compliment you often?”

You nod slightly, “I wouldn’t say, all the time,” you exaggerate, “but it was definitely enough for me to know he loves me,” you giggle.

Mark continues to stare at you as you work on the food you were making. He was so deeply in love with you that sometimes he wonders what life would be like if he never met you. 

He lays his eyes on you for the next 15 minutes. It definitely didn’t go unnoticed by you- but you had forgotten about it once you were properly focused on cutting the onions. 

With heart eyes, a sweet smile spreads across your husbands lips. 

The casts all coo at the romantic scene. 

Mark finally sits up straight. With a grin plastered on his face, he grabs a clean sheet of paper and starts writing his feelings down. Surprisingly, he didn’t need a break, he continued writing for the next 30 minutes, satisfied with the lyrics. 

“Did you write a song about Y/N?”

Mark nods, “I did, it was mostly how I felt about being with her.”

“Earlier you said that the song didn’t manage to be in the album, will you be posting the song on another platform?”

Mark scratches his head, uncertain, “I’ll have to ask my company about that,” he jokes.

Episode 47

“We’re finally back with our favourite couple! How are you, Mark?”

“Just fine, I’m preparing some things with my group, so I have been a little busy now a days,” Mark replies. 

The casts sighs, “you’ve been working really hard, Mark.”

Mark simply chuckles awkwardly, unsure of what to say. 

The show started with you sitting on the familiar chair in the building. 

“Oh? The chair seems familiar?”

You had one of your legs crossed over the other with your right hand, holding your phone. You were scrolling through Instagram, hoping it would lessen your boredom. 

After a few minutes, you put your phone down when you realised you’ve been scrolling for minutes now, but nothing had caught your eye on your feed. You let out an exhausted sigh, resting the palm of your hand against your cheek. 

15 minutes later, your eyes widen when you see the familiar boys step out of the elevator. 

You quickly stand up, walking up to the boys. 

“Y/N!” they called, “oh my god, it has been forever since I last saw you!”

You giggle. Your eyes search for your husband but he was no where to be seen. 

“He’s still upstairs, talking to the producer,” Johnny says when he notices you looking around. 

You send him a smile, “I see. Are you guys going back home now?”

The rest of the boys were already walking away after tapping your shoulder to bid you goodbye without interrupting your conversation with Johnny. 

“Jungwoo and Yuta are going to get dinner, the rest of us are heading home- it has been a long day, we’re all exhausted,” Johnny says dramatically.

The boy never fails to make you smile, “I know, Mark told me about your schedule.”

Johnny smiles, “also, Mark had a rough day,” he tells you. Your eyebrows raised in curiosity. You wondered what had happen. 

“Did you know that Johnny had told Y/N about your day?”

He shakes his head, “I didn’t know, but I am thankful for him for always looking out for me.”

It was only 30 minutes later when you saw your husband step out of the elevator. Instead of his usual jog, he was stomping towards your direction. With the way he was walking and the all black outfit- it made him look even more intimidating then he already was.

Johnny was right, he definitely had a bad day today.

“Hi, baby,” you say softly, when he finally stands in front of you. You softly rub his arm, hoping it would calm him down a little, “you okay?”

Mark only hums, tugging on his bag when you attempt to take it from him. “i’ll carry it,” he says. You kept quiet, not wanting to worsen his temper. 

The both of you quietly walk out of the building. 

“Can we take a walk?” you ask, looking up at your husband.

He looks down at you and raises his eyebrows. Truthfully, he was already exhausted, but he would do anything you wanted. Mark shrugs, going with the flow.

The both of you started your walk in silence. Your husband had both hands tucked in his pockets with his lips pursed. You took multiple glances at the boy, wondering how you should comfort him. 

After hesitating for a while, you wait until he has his hands out of his pockets. When you notice that he finally has his warm hands untucked, you instantly grab it in yours. 

A smile form on your lips, when you hold on tightly onto his hands. 

“Aw, she was trying to comfort you!”

“Wanna talk about it?” you speak up, tightening your grip on his hands. 

Mark smiles, “not really, just thankful that I have you,” he says. You feel his thumb softly stroke the back of your hand, “you’re too good to me, Y/N.”

You scoff, “what do you mean? You are literally my soulmate, whenever you fall, I go down with you,” you reassure him. You nudge his shoulder with yours, “I’ll always be the shoulder you can lean on. No matter how bad it is, I’ll always be by your side.”

“How do you usually comfort Mark during his bad days?”

“He doesn’t talk about his feelings often,” you say, letting out a short chuckle. “But it’s pretty obvious, he isn’t very discreet with his emotions,” you laugh, nudging the boy next to you. 

“Depending on how bad it is, I would try to leave him alone until he calls out for me.”

“Why won’t you talk about how you feel?”

“I have always grown up with this mindset- never give off negative energy to anyone who hasn’t done anything wrong,” he blurts out. “I feel like a burden whenever I would talk about my problems to anyone- not just Y/N.”

“I feel very thankful whenever he talks about his problems,” you say to the camera. “I feel proud that I am the one he could lean on.”

Episode 50

“Mark Lee is back!” 

Series of claps could be heard from the room. 

“I heard you had received multiple awards from MAMA!”

Another agrees, “that’s right! NCT won Favourite Male Group and Worldwide Fans' Choice Top 10! Congratulations to NCT!” 

Another series of claps filled the room. 

“Thank you so much! My group wouldn’t have received the award without all the loving support from all my fans,” Mark expresses his gratitude. 

The show started with you sitting on the couch comfortably. You were deeply concentrated on watching something in front of you. 

“What is she watching?”

The camera zooms out until the casts takes notice the television planted on the wall. The casts recognizes the ceremony playing on the television. 

You were waiting for your husband’s group to start performing so you can take videos and pictures. 

After watching the ceremony, you recognize the introduction to one of your husband’s songs. You sit up straight in excitement, fishing out your phone, ready to film his performance. 

You had purposely took bad photos of your husband so you could laugh at them later with him. 

15 minutes later, the performance ended. Even though you’re backstage, you still softly clapped at the end of his performance. 

“Everytime I see Mark perform, I feel so shocked that we have such a talented guy on our show,” one of them says, making Mark chuckle. 

“He was born to be a star,” another comments.

After a few more performances by other groups, it was time for the award ceremony. 

You were extremely anxious for this. You hoped all the times that Mark had came home in the middle of the night only to leave again early in the morning or how he would injure himself but would still perform with full energy for his fans would be worth it. 

You bit your lip anxiously, your palms had turned sweaty from the long wait of the awaited name. 

“The Best Male Group of 2020 goes to...” the announcer trails off, opening the card that held the winner. 

“Congratulations to BTS for being the Best Male Group of the year!”

You let out a huff, throwing your head back tiredly. 

“You seemed really stressed,”

You nod, agreeing with them, “truthfully, I have seen Mark work really hard this year. It pained me to see him suffer so much and not being able to tell anyone.”

“Next, let’s see the nominated groups for Favourite Male Group!” says the announcer. The screen fills with different groups with their names. 

You take a deep breath, sitting up again to watch the ceremony. Your lips purse in concentration.

“The Favourite Male Group of 2020 goes to...” the announcer trails off, opening the golden card. 

A smile forms on their lips, “Congratulations to NCT for being the Favourite Male Group of 2020!”

You let out a gasp, looking at the stylists who was also watching the ceremony. 

“Oh my god!” you squeal, “they said NCT, right? I didn’t hear it wrongly, right?” you ask everyone in the room. 

The stylists nods, “its NCT!”

Your hand goes over your mouth in shock. 

“Her reaction is so adorable,”

You watch the boys walk up on stage. Taeyong is the one to step forward to give his speech, followed by Johnny in english. 

Finally your husband steps up. 

“Wow,” he starts, his fans starts to scream louder. “this is so crazy. I want to start by thanking Lee Sooman for giving me the opportunity to be part of NCT. Next, thank you to our stylist and coordinator for the awesome outfits- we would never be able to win this award without the unique outfits and make up!” 

He takes a deep breathe, “and of course, our dearest fans. Thank you for always supporting us, and giving us the opportunity to be on stage with this award,” he smiles when he hears his fans cheers. “Lastly, my wife who has always been by my side even during my ugliest side. Thank you for never giving up on me always bringing the best out of me.”

A grin forms on your lips, you soon became flustered from the coos coming from around you. 

“I can’t wait to meet our little one soon. I love you, Y/N. Thank you,” he ends his speech, stepping off stage. 

“Wait! What do you mean little one?!”

“I have been pregnant for 15 weeks now,” you say happily. “We have been trying for a baby for a while now, and we are officially having a kid soon!”

The whole casts starts freaking out. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?!” they scolded Mark. 

“We would like to ask the fans for the upmost support,” Mark adds. “With that, this would be our last episode as a We Got Married Couple.”

“This is a huge surprise!”

“We had so much memories on the show,” Mark admits. 

“I had such a fun time on here, but for now, Mark and I had agreed that we want to put all of our focus on our baby,” you added.

“Wow... this is a happy ending,” the casts says. 

“We would like to thank Mark Lee and Y/N for their contribution to the show,” they added. 

“We really enjoyed watching you and Y/N being cute!”

“Thank you so much,” Mark bow, “it was an honour to come on this show,” Mark says, “I had so much fun, thank you so much for everything.”

“Thank you so much Mark. We hope you have a wonderful journey from now on and congratulations to your first child!”

[machine-gun-casie]

tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room. 

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends. 

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not. 

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you. 

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry. 

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call? 

“He was with Bob.” 

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park? 

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.” 

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together. 

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.” 

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?” 

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.” 

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

[bridgyrose]

One takes the other to 10. A fancy restaurant - Emerald takes Ruby out to a fancy dinner…with full intent to dine-and-dash

Ruby felt nervous in the Atlesian restaurant as she watched Emerald start to dig into her steak. Sure, it wasnt the first date the two had been on, but she still had to wonder how Emerald could afford to take her to a place like this. Especially since the two of them had been out of work after Ruby botched her last hunting assignment. Ruby picked up her knife and fork and started cutting her meat and picked at her food a bit. 

Emerald looked up from her own meal. “Everything okay Rubes?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine, just… how can you afford all of this? I know you wanted to do something special for our anniversary, but I know you havent exactly been doing well with work.” 

“I had a rainy day fund and after the month you had, figured you’d like a night to enjoy yourself for once. So, I’ve decided to give you an expensive meal, a night alone with me and you at a fancy hotel, and some wine to see where things lead. Assuming you’re in the mood.” 

Ruby blushed and cracked a small smile. “And you still have a way with words.” 

“The only thing I ever lost after we started dating was my ability to flirt.” Emerald took a bite of her steak and gave a small moan of satisfaction, savoring the taste. “And of all the things to lose… I’m okay with that.” 

Ruby shook her head and started eating her meal, enjoying each bite. “You never could flirt.” 

“I flirted with you just fine.” 

“You stole my wallet, left a business card in my pocket, and blackmailed me to go on a date with you.” 

Emerald grinned. “It worked.” 

Ruby let out a sigh. “Yes, it worked. That still doesnt mean you could flirt. Though, I cant say I wasnt curious on where you were wanting to go with all of this at first. A thief with a huntress? You’d think we’d be at each other’s throats.” 

“And as I’ve said, our lines of work arent all that different. We both have things we need to protect, we just go different ways about it. Besides, all you need is your first taste and you’ll see why I enjoy it so much.” 

“And what makes you think I’ll enjoy it?” 

Emerald smirked. “Because I know you well enough to know that the adrenaline rush you’ll get will be irresistible.” 

“And we’ll never find out.” 

“Never say never.” 

The waiter came by with the check and sat it down next to Ruby as he looked the two girls over. “Will there be anything else you two ladies would like?” 

Emerald shook her head, her eyes glowed slightly as she activated her semblance and pulled out a card, keeping it out of view of Ruby. “I think we’re good. And I’ll pay for the meal now.” 

The waiter smiled and took the card and bill  to start cashing them out. 

Emerald kept a smile on her face until the waiter was out of sight. Her smile dropped as she stood up and took Ruby’s arm. “And we need to go. Now.” 

“What about your card-” 

The waiter started making his way back to the table, his voice echoing from the back of the restaurant. “What kind of joke are you trying to pull?!” 

Emerald didnt wait for him to get any closer as she pulled Ruby through the restaurant to leave, making sure to avoid any of the other guests and waiters. She used her semblance on anyone bold enough to look at her, hiding herself and Ruby as she made her way out. 

Ruby did her best to keep up with Emerald, almost impressed by how quickly the two of them got lost in the crowds as they left the restaurant. Her heart raced as she felt adrenaline pump through her system. “Emerald! What did you do?” 

“Its called dine and dash! Though, he picked up on it much quicker than most other places do. Usually my semblance keeps those fake cards out of suspicion until after I leave.” 

Ruby stopped herself and Emerald in the middle of a crowd and looked behind her, watching as the waiters looking for them stayed close to the door of the restaurant. “We just committed a crime!” 

“And it felt good, didnt it?” asked Emerald, her voice almost a whisper. “Just feel that adrenaline rush you got as we almost got caught. Intoxicating, isnt it?” 

Ruby slowly nodded. “Alright, I’ll admit, the rush did feel nice.” 

“Then I think you’ll enjoy the next part of our date.” 

“And what’s that?” 

Emerald smiled and pulled out one of her fake IDs and held it between her pointer and middle fingers. “I’m going to show you the benefits of dating me.” 

[glassartpeasants]

Fool

Overhaul x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, name calling, death??, toxic relationships

A/N: If I’m sad ya’ll gonna be sad too. Kinda grinded on this one too so it might be bad and it might be good. 50/50. This was also done at work so :D

~~~

“Damnit, Damnit, DAMNIT!” You yell into your pillow as another night was ruined. 

Your ‘husband’ was nowhere to be found. Which only made you that much angrier. Tonight was your guy’s anniversary and again, just like last year, he missed it. The dinner, the surprise you had in store, everything was just a bunch of bullshit.

“Stupid prick.” You throw off your dress and clean up all the makeup on your face, stepping into the shower crying.

“What’s so wrong with me that he can’t even bother to show up?” You hiccuped in the shower as you felt the shower water mix with your tears.

~~~

Once you were finished with your shower you put on your pajama’s and went into the living room putting your blanket and pillow on the couch before snuggling into it.

He didn’t deserve to even be near you after this little stunt he pulled for the second time.

‘Do I really not mean that much to him?’ You thought to yourself as all your insecurities comeback to haunt you.

Tears keep slipping down your face before you went silent hearing the door unlock signaling your ‘husband’ was home. You closed your eyes steadying your breathing holding your tongue as the urge to lash out at him became almost unbearable.

“Why would she be sleeping here? The bed is not far away? Did she accidentally fall sleep here?”

You clenched the blanket tightly as tears threatened to show. You could just sense the lack of empathy in his voice as he tried to figure out why weren’t you in bed. But even after trying to convince your self to stay quiet the anger rose up once more.

“I’m sleeping here cause I want to be away from you asshole.” Your tone of voice held venom in each word as Chisaki looked at you with wide eyes realizing that you weren’t asleep at all.

“Care to explain why?” His voice was still monotone but you looked in his eyes and sensed just a tiny bit of confusion.

“What’s the date and time Kai?” You replied, your words still sharp.

“It’s midnight and the date is-oh...”

“Yeah, it was our fucking anniversary which you forgot. FOR THE SECOND TIME!” You yelled at him standing up from the couch as you looked deep into those golden eyes. 

“Sorry I guess?”

“YOU GUESS?! YOU GUESS?!?!”

“Your voice lower it-”

“No Kai! Do you know how much it hurts me feeling like im not worth your god-damn time?!”

“(Y/N) I’m warning you...”

“Please at least tell me what im doing wrong!”

“I SAID ENOUGH!” Before you could even react Chisaki’s hand reached towards you and grabbed you by the arm, causing you to be overhauled in a instant before getting put back together.

You jerked your arm out of his grip looking at him with wide, fearful eyes, your entire being shaking with terror. You shook your head, taking steps away from him as your tears flowed down your cheeks, heavily breathing.

“You-you...” You looked into his eyes and saw no hint of remorse. At least nothing you could see as you moved quite far away from him. He didn’t even make an attempt to say sorry before turning around and going back to his room.

You crashed to the floor as you rubbed your arm while you silently cried. Hiccups slowly becoming the only thing you could hear as you laid on the floor in a fetal position. Your breathing becoming ragged as the crying made you struggle for air.

~~~

One Week Later

You haven’t spoken to Kai since the incident. You haven’t even looked in his direction. You shook everytime you remembered that night. It was only a week ago but it still felt like it was only a few seconds ago.

You sighed as you walked past Kai’s office, needing to pass it in order to get to the kitchen.

Just as you were walking by you heard your name come up in a conversation in his office. You stopped walking and slowly went to listen, being quiet as a mouse.

“I seriously feel like she’s only with me for my money.” You wanted to gasp out in offense but decided to stay quiet. You stayed with this man for almost three years and he thinks that your only with him for the money? You felt your heart break even more. Why did he even ask you to marry him if this was his mindset?

“She’s really starting to piss me off Chrono.”

“Have you talked to her since that night?”

“WHY WOULD I TALK TO THE COCK HUNGRY WHORE WHO GETS UPSET ABOUT EVERYTHING?!” That was it. Your heart was shattered even more then it already was. You take off your ring and throw it down that halls of the compound before running to your room to gather all your things that your asshole of a husband didn’t buy.

You had a few clothes and sentimental things before shoving it all in a suitcase and putting it into a guest bedroom. As much as you wanted to leave right away, you couldn’t since you weren’t anywhere near family.

‘I mean there’s always living on the streets.’ You thought before quickly dismissing the idea, realizing it was to dangerous to be going out alone in this quirk filled world while being quirkless.

But the more you thought about it the more your plan came into fruition.

~~~

5 Days Later

You looked out your window as you felt the breeze hit you from your open window. You still havent even spoken to Kai and pretended like he didn’t exist at all. 

‘Tonights the night.’

You sigh as you take a deep breath before climbing out the window slowly, trying not to hurt yourself. Your things were already outside, putting them there earlier that day.

Once your feet hit the ground you grabbed your things and booked it. You ran as fast as your feet could take you. You couldn’t help the smile that etched itself into your face.

Your feet finally came to a stop once you saw the old building you were planning on staying at for the time being. Being homeless is better then being with that self absorbed prick.

You started walking as you legs carried you inside the house and up the stairs. It was an old apartment building that was left abandoned after the Kamino incident.

~~~

Kai let out a sigh as he got out of the shower ready to go back to work when he noticed something.

All your REALLY important stuff that belonged to you was gone.

He shrugged his shoulders thinking you just took it with you to your room before putting on clothes and walking down the hallway towards his office.

Just as he reached the office he felt something underneath his shoe. He moved his foot and to his surprise your ring was underneath it.

He picked up the ring looking at the engraved words he had put into on so that it would always remain special to you. What was this doing here? Did it fall off your finger and you didn’t notice? He let out a low grumble before turning to go to your ‘now’ room before realizing the door was locked. 

He tried the lock again before getting angry and smashing the door ope only to find a bare room and an open window.

~~~

1-2 Months Later

Letting out a sigh as you looked around your now ‘living area’ and smile in happiness. It was only one tiny room so you had to make the best of the situation. You gathered a few things for your little home so it looked more like a little room and less like an old basement. You lived in the top of the building, aka the attic. You had to steal some things in order to have it look a little nicer. You might have stolen a bed out of someones back end of their truck but we don’t talk about that.

But all in all you thought it looked pretty good.

You sigh as you fall back on the bed looking up at the clean ceiling smiling knowing all the spiders are gone.

You turn on your little radio by ‘your’ bed before slowly shutting your eyes and falling into a peaceful slumber.

~~~

A thousand thoughts swirled his mind right now. All these problems and it feels like he was running in circles.

First, he was trying to figure out his plan with the bullets, then there was you.

Where did you go? He asked so many people if they saw someone that looked like you and no one saw you. He grew more anger by the minute.

A million of ‘If i haven’t done this or If I hadn’t done that’ went through his entire being making him shake with anxiety. He knows what he did was wrong, but he also knows that his pride will always be and always has been his biggest down fall.

He can still remember the way you looked at him that night. You looked at him like he was a monster. 

He didn’t even notice he was crying until he saw a tear drop fall from his eyes and onto the paper work.

“I shouldn’t have said all those nasty things about her...” He held his chest where his heart should be only to have his mind keep running at lightening speed thinking what if?

What if he never missed those anniversary's?

What if he never killed you?

What if he never called you all those nasty things?

And...

What If he never let you go?

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[slowedreverb]

ok hold on i am venting u rly dont need to read i just need to get it out but someone tell me i dont need her back in my life lmao if u read this tell me if u think she’s worth it.

so i had this friend right . lets say idk abby ... so abby and i were best friends for a hot minute and  we would go to festivals together and everything but i always felt like i lived in her shadow forever. i always felt so bad about myself when i stood next to her because she was drop dead gorgeous and literally everyone wanted her. so like yeah maybe those were my problems alone  and one time for spring break we went to los angeles and let me just list u some things that happened - she got onto a list for a party (mind u it was just me and her traveling together) and it was an hour away. we ran into two guys who were our friends back home so they drove us because they had their car and we didnt (it was an hour away, the uber would have been $120 there n back). she was on the list and all she had to do was tell the people that got her on the list that she had a guest (guys had to pay regardless). she went in without me. didn’t wanna say she had a guest. - those two guys as out friends from home wanted to have a threesome with her lmao. guess who was left out while they planned it? me.  - she met some guy on the street claiming he could make her a model as long as she came to x address the next day. next day, she booked an uber to go to this shady ass place and as much as i wanted to let her go alone (because i sure as hell wasnt gonna put myself in that situation) i came to make sure she was safe. she got paid $200 for modeling while i took her pictures and got none???? lmao - while walking the streets one night, a group of 6 guys come between us and try to talk to her and touch her. i pull her away eventually. they start yelling at us and bullshit. they yell at me saying “you’re not even cute! you? you’re ugly as hell. people only talk to you because your friend’s cute!” (this was already how i felt since the beginning so this dude like solidified my feelings) abby doesn’t say anything and we hide in a smoke shop for a little bit until they pass. we start walking again and eventually come across them, this time the guys are yelling at me for protecting abby. they corner me and her and abby goes “wait why are you guys fighting? cant you guys just be friends?” literally after they disrespected me and called me all these names. dude says he’s got money and a big property and that she should remember his name, she literally notes it down. says we should apologize to each other and im like ??? what ??? bro are u dead ass????  this dude literally tried to hit me and she wants ME to APOLOGIZE ???? - that was the last night of the trip and she didnt get why i was so upset for several reasons. i hide away and cry for two hours. she comes up and finds me and i try to talk to her about how i feel once we’re back in our room and im  spiling out my feelings to her and i look over and she’s literally closing her eyes like shes trying to sleep and i ask her if shes sleeping and she says no looks at me for a few seconds as i continue taking and she turns to her side and closes her eyes again. she tells me she doesnt understand, i try to explain, she tells me im making her feel dumb. i apologize and ask her if theres anything she wanted to say since we were talking out feelings out, she says nothing and closes her eyes again.

- next month, we go to a festival. she makes me drive two hours there because we agreed she’d drive back so i have time to study on the way back because i had an exam. she makes me drive on the way back too.  - that night, she slept on the bed while i slept on an actual chair lmao

- summer comes along and i make all these plans with her but she starts to reply less and i ask her “why havent we hung out?” because i saw her complainin about having nothing to do and she goes “guess we just havent made any plans” w the shrugging emoji but literally two days before i made plans for us ???????? - i texted her asking if i could swing by her place so i could get some stuff i left. we plan a time before she goes to work so we could see each other. by the time i get there, she texts me saying its outside. all my shit was bagged up n left on the curb ??? lmao and that was literally our last interaction until today. i saw her post about something that made her upset and i told her i was there for her if she needed it. like a dumbass. lmao. and she left me on read, which is fine, im not entitled to a reply but like .... im upset in a way???

[awakaru]

So, since the Hell Month is over and I'm in an okay space, lemme tell y'all about it!

[[MORE]]

Mercy had a fever for the first time in forever, so she got paranoid and got tested for the covid. Which led to her having a couple weeks off since she couldn't go back without the results.

During that time, we stayed with Chi for a solid week to protect her from a guy she lives with that felt entitled to her. I was gonna stay longer, but there was a covid scare and I was sent home.

A week of normalcy followed. The day after our next D&D session, shit hit the fan.

First off, Gordo started shit with the guy he rooms with. Full blown screaming and condescension followed, and Mercy felt the need to call and check up on me cuz she was worried I was the one being yelled at. That's totally normal and not a trauma response /s

So Fred left with his shit in the pouring rain. I had just gotten TikTok so I was drowning out my anxiety with funny MHA skits and D&D things.

Mercy apparently went to get food to get things back to 'normal', so we all got some chicken.

I tried to stop a fight between Mercy and Gordo, cuz the latter was listening to conservative bullshit and it was bothering the former. I told him not to be rude after she left, and he followed me into my room to continue the convo that I just tried to end. He was pulling his passive aggressive shit so I sent him off by closing the door in his face. He left.

Apparently Mercy heard me raise my voice and followed Gordo outside. I don't know for sure what happened cuz I was still inside, but it got to the point where Gordo started fucking screaming so I went to investigate. I got there in time so see Mercy black out and beat the shit out of him. So did Gordo's friend Joey, who me and Mercy very recently had a falling out with cuz he's ignorant.

She even tried to choke Gordo out. At that point I was fed up with his shit so I told her to do it cuz he deserved it. But she stopped, and I had to lead her back inside, not without saying she "can't debate with a fascist". Cuz that's what he fucking is.

She got to our bedroom and proceeded to burst into tears and have a panic attack, I think. I tried my very best to calm her down. She said we had to go. Like, GO go, as in not come back. I was okay yeah fair, and reached out to Chi to see if we could stay for a bit. She said no cuz of the covid scare, so I called one of my D&D friends. She said yes, so we started packing.

Around this time I had Mama on the phone cuz she could not come home yet but didn't want to leave us alone in case something happened.

I heard the guy who /just had a fight with Gordo like AN HOUR AGO/ come in to his fucking defense, first berating Merxy and then me. After he finished with me, Joey came in and threw his drink at me! Because I dared to tell my "brother" to go die, in an effort to get to leave me alone. But I knew there was no point explaining myself so I told him to go die too after telling me I was a stupid bitch and that he hated me 🤷🏽‍♀️

So at this point, me and Mercy continued packing, cuz the boys went for a walk or some shit, who cares. We had Mama on the line for a while and then we said bye after we left the house.

So me and Mercy are homeless now. Our D&D friend could only put us up for a single night, so we fell to our last resort: Yami, my "bestie".

But I would not call them that. We havent been all that close since that huge fight we had like, two years ago. But I wanted to help them, cuz they have a young son and I wanted to try to make his life better in whatever small ways I could. That's a post for another time, though.

They agreed to let us stay til we got our shit together, and that we were welcome there. But I sure as hell didn't feel welcome. They were saying basically from Day One that they were gonna make sure we were uncomfortable so we wouldn't get complacent 😑 Nevermind the fact that me and Mercy were dealing with a huge sense of loss and grief!

We didn't even last a full week, guys. Every day was some sort of altercation, and I had had enough with their "my way or the highway" attitude. So the day they woke me up to drag me into their room to prove a point, I knew it was gonna go poorly. And it did!

I won't even mention what brought this on cuz honestly it's not important, like at all. All that matters is that I was Done™ and on the verge of shutdown as they explained why I "didn't need to be right all the time". I tried my best to exit the convo but I guess they needed to have the last word so they kept on going. But I was already done so I just walked away, and then hell broke loose.

It escalated to the point where I straight up told them we weren't friends, and that led to them basically disowning me =3= And they proceeded to call me the "anonymous person living in [their] home".

Sooo, at this point I'm homeless again cuz there ain't no way I'm going back to that toxic environment. I was allowed to hang at my D&D friend's place again, and during that time Chi managed to get a yes from her sister-in-law for me to stay with them. I picked Mercy from work, had her grab my essentials, and we drove all the way to Chi's. So I live with her now.

Now at this point Yami had been removed from my life almost completely, except for one thing: our weekly D&D game. I had invited them to play a few months ago and they've been a permanent player since then, along with their son coming to guest play sometimes. But after this final fallout (we actually had a falling out like a month or two ago at this point too so like yikes) I sure as hell didn't want them there.

Me and Mercy are the only OG players at this table; we've been there from the very fucking beginning. We went through two location changes and general party changes as well. This game helped me keep track of time and helped keep me sane through many shitty situations in the last few /years/. No way were they taking this from me.

So, this Monday, we all gathered at our table. I was super fucking anxious, to the point where I had to take off my glasses and hide behind my hat. They were "being cordial" but that passive aggressive version where they make pointed jabs that sound like small talk. It was infuriating. But I didn't fall for their bait.

Our DM put us in a meeting. I explained the bare details needed to clarify the situation, and we proceeded to try to compromise. Yami would not accept any. "If I can leave emotions at the door, so should they," they said. "They need to act like adults."

Mercy started packing up, and so did I cuz I just wanted something else to focus on. But I never had any intention of leaving. Our DM brought up since compromise apparently wasn't working, then he would have to rule this in favor of seniority. So I stood my ground. And Yami had no choice but to accept the ruling, and was taken home.

Knowing that things were tense, our DM took us to Chili's to relax, with a short detour through Lowe's while we waited for seats. I had not felt so calm in a looong time, or so exhausted; shifting from being a night owl to a morning person and back to a night owl was having a toll on me. But I was so glad that I didn't let them take this group from me.

Now, Mercy is trying to find a place for us so we can actually start saving up for our eventual move out of state, and also not further inconvenience Chi and her family, whose home I currently live in. I wish I had any sort of ability that would make making money online an option for me, but I was always so afraid of sharing creations that I know that's not an option now. So, if we find a place, I'll defs have to find a job, which I'm not looking forward to at all tbh. But I'm safe for now, so I guess that's something.

[collectionofdestiel]

“It’s a break.” 

“You don’t sound like you believe that.”

Castiel closed his eyes, knowing that his brother was right. Why else would he be in Gabriel’s kitchen a little after one in the morning with a duffel bag of clothes and fresh tear stains on his cheeks? How could this be just a break when Castiel’s heart has been breaking for months now and all that is left is an empty hollow shell of an organ. No, he didn’t believe it. He didn’t believe those three little words, not as he whispered them like a madman’s mantra on the drive over here. But if he admitted it, really truly believed that this wasn’t a break… Castiel feared he wouldn’t be strong enough to handle it.

Gabriel let out a sigh at the deafening silence. It broke him to see his younger brother battling so hard in his mind when the reality was so heartbreaking. Taking a deep breath and moving his eyes over to the clock on his oven, he decided tonight wasn’t the night to hash this out.

“The guest room is all set up. Lotta pillows and blankets. Get some rest and we can discuss this more in the morning.” Standing up, Gabe waited to move until Cas did.

But Castiel couldn’t move. It was like his bones were concrete and his skin would rip at the slightly movement. It was like everything that was holding his body together would suddenly collapse and he would be only a puddle on the floor. If he moved, if he slept in a bed that wasn’t theirs… it would be the beginning of the end.

“Listen, Cassie-”

“I love him, Gabe.” Castiel finally opened his eyes and stared up at his brother with the look of a man starving for happiness. “I love him and he-he-”

“I know.” Gabriel knelt down in front of his brother and set a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I know you love him but dammit Cas, this isn’t good for you. Or him. I know that you two love each other and would go to the ends of the earth for each other but this isn’t healthy and some times people can love each other and not end up together.”

A harsh sob ripped through Cas’ throat before he could stop it. “I can’t let him go. I can’t. I can’t let him go, Gabe, please, I can’t-”

Applying more pressure to Cas’ shoulder, Gabriel pulled his brother off his chair and held him to his chest on his kitchen floor. He rocked the other man for minutes as they both tried not to cry, Cas mumbling and pleading to a deity that it would be ok and everything would work out, and Gabriel clung to his brother and pleaded with every fiber in his being that he would be ok.

~

“It’s more than a break.” 

“Okay.”

Castiel felt the life seep from his pores as he stood in the doorway of his brother’s living room and said what he had been dreading to say as he lay sleepless the night before. After hours and hours of thinking about the past decade of his life, and the smile that used to mean everything to him, he made himself realize that it was over. It was all over. The life he built, the home he shared, the garden they tended on warm summer days… it was over.

“I am going to call him. Make arrangements to get my things.” Cas felt the sour taste of bile start to eat at the back of his tongue. “Do you mind if I stay here for a few days until I get back on my feet?”

“Days? Little bro you can stay as long as you need.” Standing from his place on the couch Gabriel walked up to Castiel and pulled him into a firm hug, scared he might slip away in despair if he didnt ground him right then and there.

Castiel leaned into the warmth and closed his eyes. “Thank you, Gabriel.”

Smiling sadly, Gabe pulled back and looked into Cas’ eyes. He searched them for any spark of the man he grew up with, the love and excitement that always shown through the deep blue, but found nothing except emptiness. Trying to keep the tears from gathering, he turned and made his way into the kitchen for a sweet treat.

Castiel reached into his pant pocket and pulled his phone out. He stared at it for a little while, watching his reflection in the black mirror. Last night he had been so emotional and stuck in his own head that he hadn’t checked for messages or calls. There wasnt really a part of him that thought his husband would have looked for him or cared. 

Gathering any energy he had left he pressed his thumb to the side of his phone and the bright light met his eyes. Gasping softly he read quickly through his notifications. There were thirty seven missed calls from his husband, and more ninety nine plus text messages. Feeling guilt start to seep into his bones, Cas slid open his lock screen and pressed the number that used to bring him comfort. Closing his eyes, he pressed the phone to his ear and listened with a heavy heaving heart as it rang.

The second it picked up he knew that this was going to be the worst phone call of his life.

“Cas!?” His husband’s voice ripped through the phone so abruptly Cas flinched.

Clearing his throat, he tried to remember the speech he had prepared last night. “Dean-” “Where the hell are you?” Dean’s voice was followed by a car door slamming. “I’ve been driving all over the goddamn county looking for you.”

A part of Cas wanted to call bullshit, to say that if Dean cared at all he would’ve guessed Gabriel’s house immediately. But instead he took a deep breath and pushed onward. “Dean, what happened last night has been a long time coming. We both know that things haven’t been  working between us for-”

“Are you kidding me?” Dean screeched. “You’re breaking up with me on a phone call?”

“Dean-”

“No. Don’t. Where are you?” The venom in Dean’s voice was dripping off each word. 

“You really don’t know?” Now Cas could feel his own voice rising, the anger starting to ebb into his head and twist his thoughts. “You really couldn’t guess that when I came home to my husband kissing another man on our couch that the first place I would do is Gabriel’s?”

Silence met his ears for a few heartbeats until Dean’s voice came through softer. “You flew our to Colorado?”

Seeing red, Castiel let out an angry snort or disbelief. “Really, Dean? Gabriel moved back here last year. How long have you been ignoring me, thinking about this other man? A year? Two? This whole time?! Was our entire marriage some kind of sick joke to you?!”

“Cas if you would just let me explain what happened last night! You didn’t even give me a chance to explain what happened! And I swear to God I don’t remember Gabriel moving back at all. The guy hates me, I never saw him even when he visited before.” A car engine roared to life. “Whats his address?”

“No.” Castiel felt his knees give out and he curled himself up into a ball with his forehead pressed to his knees. “I can’t see you, Dean. All I can see is that man… and you and-”

“I didn’t kiss him.” All the anger drained from Dean’s voice. “I invited him over for a couple drinks cause he’s a guy from work. We did a couple projects together and he seemed like a cool guy. When I went to get the remote to turn on the TV he… he kissed me. I pushed him off. I didn’t even know you had come home. I didn’t know until I heard your cry that you had seen it.”

Castiel clamped a hand over his mouth and tried to tense his muscles before the sobs broke through.

“I love you, Castiel. I know… God I know how this looks. We haven’t been on the same wave length recently and,” Dean sighed and groaned, “and I have been a shitty husband and I took us for granted because I mean… it’s always been you and me and I guess I didnt think about the fact that you could leave me.”

The tears were flowing freely from Cas’ eyes but he couldnt move, couldnt open his mouth or breathe. 

“I love you more than anything in this world or the next, I swear to that. I have never wanted anyone else. I know things have been rough but fuck me I’d rather have you like this than be perfectly happy all the time with someone else.” A deep breath and then the car engine stopped roaring. “I won’t come get you. I won’t guilt you or beg you or do anything else. If you want to stay there, I’m not going to fight you. I want you to be happy, Cas, that’s all I ever wanted. So, um, if this is goodbye then I won’t hurt you anymore.”

Castiel pitched himself forward and let out all the sobs he had been trying to keep in. He cried and cried and pressed the phone so hard to his face he could feel the soreness in his cheek start to ache. But he couldn’t make any words come out. Every time he opened his mouth it was only broken whimpers and staggered breaths.

“Castiel, I love you. Goodbye.” And then Dean’s voice was gone.

SIX MONTHS LATER

Castiel watched the people coming and going outside the window of his small book store. It was started to get cooler outside and he always thought that the best addition to his peep watching was the brightly colored hats and scarves passing by. Winter was always so vibrant to him, always the season that made him smile the most from simply looking out a window.

The coffee in front of him had long stopped steaming but he still hadnt taken a sip yet. Instead he found himself captivated by the bustling street laid out before him. Most days his bookstore wasn’t busy, most of his sales being online, but he couldn’t blame anyone when it looked so nice to be outside walking in the cool air.

The bell dinged causing his eyes to leave the window and meet those of whoever walked in. When they were met with a perfect green, he felt a lump form in his throat and his back straighten just the slightest.

Dean Winchester walked slowly up the counter, as if he himself was feeling nervous about this and any moment he may change his mind and bolt for the door. But he kept walking, their eyes never leaving the others, until he was standing directly in front of the front desk.

“Dean-”

“Look, I know what I said.” Dean’s cheeks flushed as he dropped his eyes and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I know that I said I wouldn’t fight or give you any more trouble. But, Cas, I can’t-I havent-I just can’t do this.”

Feeling tears well in the back of his throat, Castiel nodded to try to keep himself from crying again. “I know.”

“And um, I just, I know that we are seperated and I need to sign the divorce papers but every time I go to do it I just... “ Dean cleared hsi throat as his voice started to grow hoarse. “I can’t get myself to know that this is over.”

Castiel didn’t talk, but he nodded again and let the tears flow down his cheeks.

Bringing his eyes up, they looked into each other and for a moment the pain that had been clawing at their souls for months was gone. They could breathe again, there was hope sparking in their eyes that mirrored the others.

“I love you, Cas. And I won’t fight you if you want me to sign the papers and walk out of your life, but I will fight with you to keep you by my side.” Dean gave a small hopeful smile full of promise.

“Okay, Dean.” Castiel scrunched his eyes painfully as he let out a sob and ran around the counter to throw himself into the love of his life’s arms. “I never stopped loving you no matter how hard I tried.”

Dean held Cas to his chest so tightly it was hard to tell where one of them ended and the other began. “I know, sweetheart, I tried, too.”

~

“So, I can burn these papers, right?” 

Castiel looked up from his side of their bed with a yawn. “Hm?”

Dean, standing in the doorway to their bedroom with only a pair of low hanging lounge pants on, held up the divorce papers that neither of them had signed. “Burn these?”

Chuckling softly and closing his eyes to dive back under the covers, Cas replied with a simple, “Yes, honey.”

[maaaaaatryoshka0325]

This is Halloween - Lee Felix

Requested: Vampire Felix

How cliche is it to find out your boyfriend is a vampire on Halloween?

Warnings: make out session, slight blood kink (?) (not smutty)

Halloween was your favorite holiday hands down. You like dressing up in whatever you wanted, whether it be a ridiculous over sized banana costume or the basic slutty cat costume you’ve had for two years.

AND Felix actually enjoyed Halloween. You’ve been dating for quite a few months now, and he never really celebrated anything. He kept to himself and his group of friends mostly, and you of course. He never went to birthday parties with you or went out to your favorite cafe in the morning before you had work.

You fixed yourself a new costume this year, a “slutty” vampire. It was basic, yes, but you didn’t have much time to go and look through the endless aisles of costumes. You fixed your short dress and tightened your choker as your doorbell rang. You opened it and saw Felix leaning against the door frame.

His hair was parted and he wore a leather jacket with a black shirt underneath and ripped jeans. The way his eyes scanned your body had you blushing.

“You look beautiful.” He breathed.

“Thank you baby.” You giggled, kissing his lips.

You finished your make up as his friends showed up to your house. You were all going to a Halloween party that night, and you were excited to see some of your old friends.

You herded the boys out the door and when you finally arrived at the party, there were guests everywhere. Felix held your hand as you guided him through the crowd.

“Y/N!” You heard your friend Daisy call.

You smiled and hugged her as she stepped back to admire your costume. Daisy was more on the innocent side and was wearing a cute bee costume.

“You look SOO GOOD Y/N!” She said with a smile.

“So do you. You’re antenas are cute.” You laughed.

She smiled and then looked over to Felix and bowed.

“Oh, Daisy this is Felix. Felix, this is Daisy.” You introduced then.

Felix smiled and bowed to her as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“He’s handsome Y/N!” Daisy said.

“I know, isn’t he?” You asked, cupping his chin and smiling at him.

He smiled back, his teeth white as snow. He placed a kiss to your head as Daisy kept a conversation going.

“I’m gonna grab drinks, do you want any?” You asked Felix.

“Maybe a wine cooler or something light.” He said.

Felix didn’t drink much, but when you did he always looked after you. You grabbed him a wine cooler and mixed a drink for yourself, bumping into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You apologized.

“Y/N?”

You looked up and saw a man with a werewolf mask. He reached up and removed it from his face.

“San?” You gasped.

You had known San for quite some time, and you had been pretty close before he left for another college.

He laughed and the both of you hugged.

“I haven’t seen you in so long!” You laughed.

You saw the look on his face and tilted your head.

“Something wrong?” You asked

“Are you dating someone?” He asked suddenly.

“Err- yeah why?” You asked.

“I can smell whoever it is.” He said.

“Yeah his cologne can be pretty strong.” You laughed.

He gave you a weird look before his eyes narrowed. You felt a hand at your waist as Felix came up beside you.

“Oh, here he is. Felix this is San, San this is Felix. San and I were best friends before he left for college.” You said.

They both stiffly shook each other’s hand, eyes narrowed on each other.

“Do you two know each other or something?” You asked awkwardly.

“No. But I know he’s no good.” San hissed.

Felix said nothing as he pulled you away.

“Let’s hangout with someone else.” He said.

You gave him a confused looked but didn’t say anything. You handed him his drink as you both talked to a group of people. Jisung was with Daisy, clearly trying to hit on her.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Felix asked.

“What?” You looked at him in confusion.

“Jisung and Daisy. Jisung’s so dumb and she’s so innocent.” Felix said.

You laughed and nodded.

“He’s sweet and funny, I think he’d treat her well.” You said.

Felix gave you a soft smile and pressed a kiss to your temple. You went to get another drink when a hand was pulling you outside. San stopped as you both were in the backyard and turned towards you.

“Y/N, I know you think you know him but you really don’t. He’s no good for you.” He said.

“How would you know? You don’t even know him.” You said.

“I know how his... His people are.” He said.

“What?” You asked.

He scratched the back of his neck and sighed.

“Look I’m not gonna sit here and argue, he’s not good for you Y/N. He’s going to hurt you.” He said.

“San-“

“You’re one to talk.”

You both turned as Felix’s deep voice boomed behind the both of you. He walked up beside you and narrowed his eyes on San.

“I wouldn’t hurt Y/N. I haven’t hurt her. Leave it be.” He hissed.

“Don’t act like you don’t have the potential too. You’re no good.” San growled.

“C’mon Y/N, lets go.” Felix said, starting to pull you away.

San grabbed Felix’s arm and snarled at him.

“Don’t try and walk away.” He snarled.

“Let go.” Felix said.

You saw San’s fist hit Felix’s cheek and you gasped. Felix staggered back and looked up at him, a red mark on his cheek bone.

“San What the fuck!” You yelled.

“Y/N-“

“Don’t!” You hissed.

You pulled Felix away as you could tell he was about to snap. You both walked to a field and sat next to each other.

“I’m so sorry Lix, I didn’t know he’d do that.” You said, rubbing his cheek.

He grabbed your hand and kissed it, a small smile on his lips.

“It’s okay Y/N.” He said.

“What did he mean by all that?” You asked.

Felix sighed and looked up at the red moon.

“You love me, right?” He asked.

“Of course I do!” You gasped, shocked that he had even asked that.

“No matter what?” He asked.

“No matter what.” You reassured.

He leaned in close to you and pecked your lips. When you opened your eyes, your heart dropped into your stomach.

His eyes were dark red as he looked down at you.

“This-This is why he said I’m bad for you.” He said.

You stared into his eyes as they bore into your own.

“I’m-I’m not human Y/N. And he knows it’s my feeding time-“

“Felix, it’s okay.” You whispered.

He stared at you in shock.

“Wait, What?” He asked.

“I-I said it’s okay.” You said.

He cradled your face for a moment and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

“I love you.” He whispered

After the party you havent heard from Felix for two days. You became worried that something may have happened and decided to go to his house. When you knocked you saw Chan open the door.

“Uh hi Y/N.” He said.

“Hey Chan. Is Felix here?” You asked.

“It’s not a good time-“ He began.

“Chan, please.” You pleaded.

He sighed and allowed you in. You walked up to Felix’s door and knocked. When you didn’t get an answer you opened the door and saw him hunched over.

“Felix?” You asked.

He jumped and turned towards you, his red eyes glowing.

“Y-Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked.

“I haven’t heard from you since the party and I was worried.” You gulped.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He said, cowering in the corner of his bed.

“Felix.... What’s going on?” You asked.

You took a step closer and he flinched.

“Please don’t come any closer. Leave Y/N. Please.” He pleaded.

“Felix, you look like you’re in pain.” You said softly.

He kept his back towards you, his body trembling.

“Felix, what’s going on?” You asked again.

“I-I havent fed. Please leave Y/N. I-I don’t want to hurt you.” He whispered.

“I know you’d never hurt me.” You said softly.

You placed your hand on his back and he sucked in a shaky breath.

“Felix, what happens if you don’t feed?” You asked.

“I-I can go crazy. Or starve.” He said softly.

You wrapped your arms around his back and his whole body stiffened.

“Felix you need to feed.” You said.

“I don’t have anything to feed on right now.” He said lowly.

“Feed off of me.” You whispered.

He looked back at you and gave you a hard stare.

“I-I can’t. I can’t hurt you..” He whimpered.

You stood up and sat down on his lap, his breathing getting heavier.

“Felix please. I don’t like seeing you like this.” You begged.

As you sat in his lap and he screwed his face up in pain.

“Felix it’s okay.” You soothed him.

You stroked his hair as he gasped for air. His eyes were blood red.

“Felix please.” You whispered, kissing his cheek. He still pulled away and covered his mouth.

“I can’t hurt you.” He whispered.

You moved his hand away from his mouth and pressed a kiss to it. He closed his eyes and leaned into it, his nails digging into the small of your back as you deepened the kiss.

Your tongues fought for dominance as he groaned into your mouth, winning over the fight with your tongue. He pulled away and placed a gentle kiss on your neck, looking into your eyes.

“Let me know if it hurts my love.” He whispered.

You kissed him again as he trailed soft kisses down your jaw to your neck. He started to kitten lick the spot between your neck and your shoulder and you let out a soft moan. He purred into your skin as he looked into your eyes one last time for reassurance before sinking his teeth into that same spot. You gasped and tangled your fingers in his hair, holding him as close as you can. The pain at first was piercing, but it soon faded to a tingly feeling that left you feeling like air. He hands clutched you tightly as his teeth were buried into your skin.

When he pulled away you admired the blood on his bottom lip and kissed him. He smiled and bent down to lick the spot he had bitten into. When he pulled away again, you saw the color back in his face and his eyes were shining.

He placed a soft kiss to your forehead before pulling you down into his bed.

“Thank you baby girl, I love you.” He said.

You smiled into his chest as you felt yourself drift off to sleep.

“I love you too Lix, so much.”

[jawnjendes]

the truth hurts but secrets kill | shawn mendes

chapter 8/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: lol the taglist didnt work on my last chapter so if you havent read but i’ll show you my teeth pls do eet. anyways this chapter is an angsty buildup full of angst. my specialty.

***let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist coming soon

"Where do you live?" Annalise asked for what felt like the thousandth time.

"Do you even think she's capable of answering?" Patrick said, his arm supporting Alessia's waist as he helped her stumble down the university road.

The Lyft to campus went without any major issue. Alessia did not puke in the car, she merely leaned against the door in the backseat. Annalise had gotten annoyingly chatty with the driver, talking about childhood trauma and the inevitability of death. She claimed it was practice for when she's a real therapist, though the driver was trying to focus on the road. Patrick left the driver a generous tip through the app.

The three of them were left just close enough to the dorms, but there was still a walk to be had, and it felt like it was taking centuries with how much Alessia slowed them down. Annalise kept looking around at the dark surroundings as they paced with her pocket knife in hand. Alessia mumbled something incoherent, her head lolling from side to side.

"I've never heard of that building, where is it?" Annalise asked her.

"Dude, you're gonna have to take her back to your place," Patrick told her. "I don't even think she knows her own name."

With a reluctant sigh, Annalise closed her pocket knife and wrapped her arm around the smaller girl's waist. They were approaching the corner where she and Patrick would typically part ways. Alessia noticed the shift and leaned all her weight into Annalise, mumbling under her rancid breath. It wasn't her first time babysitting a drunk toddler, but that doesn't mean she likes doing it.

Patrick was kind enough to walk the two girls up to Annalise's dorm. Alessia was swaying ominously in the elevator, like she wanted to be cradled like a baby. She was definitely ready for bed.

"Ya casi, mi vida," Annalise said as they stumbled down the third floor corridor.

"Why do you call her that?" Patrick asked. "’Me veeda.’ Isn't that what you would call your boyfriend?"

"It's the same thing as a waitress would call you sweetie or something," she replied. "Or the way you'd talk to a toddler. A drunk one."

She managed to pull her key from her back pocket and give it to Patrick. He unlocked the appropriate door, and the three of them were met with more people and more loud music.

Apparently, Stella hadn't planned on staying alone this Saturday night. She was on the armchair, with Camila squished in right next to her. They weren't alone, either. Shawn and Brian were on the couch, each holding a beer. All four of them stared at the two goths holding the short normie up on two feet.

"Oh my god, you're right on time!" Stella exclaimed. "Shawn's working on an EP! He's giving a us a preview! And he made another duet with Camila!"

"Este guey se puso peda," Annalise said with mild snark, gesturing to the girl on her arm. "I'm gonna put her down."

"You're gonna kill her?" Patrick asked, his blue eyes wide. "Damn, I didn't know you hated her that much!"

"Shut up, I brought her here, didn't I?"

She did not look at the guests on the couch as she carefully led Alessia to her bedroom. She ignored Patrick starting up a conversation with everyone. She had things to do, and it was hard enough with her fluffy mind racing.

"There we go, my dear," she said as she sat the intoxicated girl on the bed. "Acuestate, mija. Tomorrow's gonna suck, but you can rest now."

She patted Alessia's head before moving to take off her sneakers. Then, Annalise took her phone from her jacket pocket and plugged it into the charger on then nightstand. Before she could sigh in relief that they all made it back alive, she heard a voice at the door.

"Hey, you."

When Annalise turned to face him, it was like a million fireworks went off at once. Her entire body froze in the best way, and the air in her lungs was knocked out of her. He's even prettier in person.

"Someone have too much fun?" he asked, nodding towards the now sleeping Alessia.

Annalise could not tear her eyes away from his face long enough to think of an answer. All she wanted to do was stare at him for the rest of eternity.

Then, Patrick came up from behind Shawn, an amused grin on his face. "Bro, she's high as a kite right now."

Shawn looked confused for a moment and then turned to him. "Ann doesn't smoke."

"She used to all the fucking time last year." Patrick was still grinning. "She wanted to have fun tonight, so I gave her a hit of my pen."

"So you drugged her up, eh?"

"Bro-"

"I'm not your bro. Don't you care about her health at all? Don't you remember she was in the hospital a couple of months ago?"

The grin faded. "I care about her and her freedom. Not that I have to explain that to you." Patrick excused himself.

Annalise heard every word, but her wide eyes were still on Shawn. She was stepping towards him before she even realized, and then her arms were going around his middle. He was still warm and soft and he smelled good. It was like personified crack. Annalise smiled as her head rested on his chest. "I love you, my baby."

Shawn hesitated, but he hugged her back. "Love you too." Then he pulled back, his hands on her shoulders. "Where are you gonna sleep?"

"The couch." Annalise's fingers were gripping the back of his t-shirt.

"You sure? Wouldn't you rather come stay with me? I'm leaving soon anyway."

Annalise giggled so much her voice squeaked. But she frowned almost instantly. "Don't be like Chad."

"Who's Chad?"

"No one important. I think sober Annalise is gonna be mad at you."

"What? Why?"

She pointed to the sleeping girl on the bed. "That one told high Annalise some things. Sober Annalise might not even remember, but if she does, she'll probably talk to you on check in day. Like, actual talking this time."

"Why can't we talk now?" Shawn asked. "I think high-you will be more understanding than sober-you."

"High Annalise is stupidly in love with you. We'll get nowhere, my dear."

He chewed the inside of his cheek as he gazed down at her. "Yeah, you always call me cute names when you're on drugs. Like that time in the hospital. And all those times you got high with me. Oh wait…" he trailed off. "Every time I asked you to smoke with me you said you didn't trust me enough. But tonight you trusted somebody else, eh?"

She giggled. "I knew you'd be mad at me too. We have much to talk about, baby boy."

~

In theory, the reason for Alessia's disappearance the following morning would be that she remembered the tea she spilled upon waking up and now she wanted to avoid the wrath of the goth girlfriend. In reality, she wouldn't be entirely wrong.

Even after sleeping for twelve hours, Annalise couldn't get those bits of forbidden information out of her head. She had dreams about catching Shawn and Alessia having really loud sex, but she woke up to hear her roommate doing exactly that. Then, she had a recurring dream of Shawn admitting to cheating on her, except this time he had twelve versions of Henry the orange tabby surrounding him. The last dream she remembered having was one where she ended up back in the hospital, and that she was given no anesthesia for her surgery. She had her stomach removed, and she watched every drop of blood and guts come out of the gaping hole in her body.

She woke with a start after every one of these vivid dreams. Maybe it was the after effects of being stoned, but she felt uneasy for that whole day. She typically binged to her heart's content, but the hospital dream was still on her mind. She allowed herself to have a Lunchables, but not much else.

Then, Monday rolled around and Annalise found it difficult to act like a person. She got out of bed, had an unsatisfying breakfast. She did it, and that's the only thing that matters right? Screw all the other feelings. The paranoia she felt after the Abnormal Psych lecture about eating disorders doesn't matter. The impending embarrassing discomfort  from sitting alone at a table in Bio Lab doesn't matter either. Who cares about the sad ache in her chest after seeing Shawn and Alessia leave their class together? Who cares if they're still in high spirits even though they knew that Annalise knew? Who cares?

Annalise doesn't, that's for damn sure. She was perfectly fine. She pushed herself out of bed today even though she wanted nothing more than to induce a coma on herself. Who cares if she still felt shitty after?

Although, she was putting off the impending chat with Shawn until check in on Saturday. He had to know it was coming, why else would he just stop texting her?

Unless he's already with Alessia, and therefore playing me like a violin. Maybe Shawn was just ignoring me to make me go crazy.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Annalise whispered as she put on her headphones. She was glad she caught herself slipping, she didn't want the wide-eyed crazies on display as she walked out of the Social Studies building.

Her steps were slower and more careful as she picked a song to play from her phone. After settling for Halsey, she pulled out her black, round sunglasses and put them on. Gotta hide them nightmare eyes.

Maybe… perhaps… I need to check in earlier than normal?

"Don't be stupid," she told herself.

It wouldn't hurt though, would it? Maybe he would be happy to see me since I would be breaking my own rule. Unless, of course, he's hanging around Alessia again. Perhaps he doesn't care anymore.

The only solution Annalise had was to dump herself on the couch in the dorm and play Tetris 99 until the thoughts and feelings sorted themselves out.

When Stella came home, she knew the drill. She sat on the couch and ranted about her day. She rambled on about her fascist history professor and the lack of a GSA club on campus. Then, she mentioned a Halloween party coming up at one of the frat houses, and that she needed a hot costume.

It was the month where Annalise and all her spooky darkness was socially acceptable, and she couldn't even be excited about it. A different type of darkness was taking over, and it was stupid that it was over a boy. Why did she have to be so dramatic? Why was she so goddamn crazy?

"I'll pick your costume," she said over Stella's rambling.

She paused, her brilliant hazel eyes wide. To say she was surprised that Annalise cracked so fast would be an understatement. But she smiled. "Would you? Ooo, can I pick yours?"

"Ah, I don't think I'm gonna do anything for Halloween this year."

"What? But it's your favorite holiday! You need to come to this party with me! Buddy system, remember?"

"Is that the only reason-"

"Of course not, you dummy! We haven't spent enough time together since the semester started! Let's go find some costumes, yeah? I'll even let you dress me up as scary as you want!"

Stella's a good friend. Annalise should really try harder to spend time with her. Why didn't she try to be a good friend in return?

They went to the local costume store that Friday. It gave Annalise a wonderful excuse to not go to the gaming club meeting. She really did not want to reflect on the Bart adventure, or see just how bad she fucked up Chad's nose.

After returning to campus with a dark but still cute witch costume, Stella was summoned to Camila's dorm. She thanked Annalise for the lovely costume choice and practically abandoned her. Annalise couldn't find it in her to really care. It was only a few more hours until Saturday.

She had barely settled herself on the couch when her phone buzzed. For the first time this week, Shawn had texted her. Annalise held her phone up, staring blankly at the screen. Her heart should be pounding right now, shouldn't it?

"Hey, I know check in is tomorrow but I can't make it at our usual time. I have a gig tomorrow night. You should come and we can talk after."

The next text was the address to the lounge he would be performing at.

Any other time, Annalise would have been happy to know Shawn was performing again. But he cancelled on her, knowing that he was in trouble. Is that what it took for him to start booking shows again? Was this just an elaborate way to avoid Annalise? Perhaps this was just some form of reverse psychology so she wouldn't go to the gig.

You can't psych out a psychology major. Of course Annalise was going to this gig.

However, she had a mostly sleepless night, really unable to shake the fact that Shawn was probably avoiding her. When she finally did sleep, she slept too much. Annalise woke up in the afternoon and was late for work. She had planned to ask if she could leave early, but she didn't dare try anything now. The gig was at eight, when her shift ended. She ended up going to the lounge in her work uniform, a button up with the dealership name on, and baggy slacks. Not exactly the sexy outfit she had planned during the late hours of insomnia.

The show had already started by the time she got there. As she was showing her ID to the bouncer, she heard Shawn's voice over the mic, and she felt something for the first time in days. Her stomach felt tight as she slowly stepped into the lounge.

The turnout was decent. Every single table and bar stool was occupied, and all eyes were on the band performing on the stage. Annalise looked around for any empty space; She wasn't dressed her best but she did want to be anywhere but against the wall opposite the stage. Her eyes spotted the group of people standing directly in front of the stage.

It was the normal group of girls who swooned every time Shawn blinked, but there were also three other girls that Annalise knew all too well. They were jumping and singing along to Lost in Japan, not a single care in the world. Annalise wondered why Stella didn't tell her that she was going to this event, but the way she looked at Camila as they sang to each other said enough. Maybe they chose Alessia to be their new third wheel too. So Alessia was too embarrassed to face Annalise, but not Shawn?

Annalise always stood in the back of every one of Shawn's shows, knowing she would stick out like a sore thumb in the midst of the usual fangirls. Not that that's a bad thing, it just wasn't her usual place to be. She figured that showing up at all would be enough.

Perhaps Shawn already had enough. Three of his friends were already cheering him on, and surely he had more of them scattered in the audience. Not to mention, the people here that didn't know him were going to adore him by the end of the night. Besides, Shawn most likely invited her as a ploy to get her to turn it down. She wasn't needed here. Annalise chewed the inside of her lip as she back up towards the exit. She stepped outside, away from the people trying to get in, and she pulled her phone out. She composed a new text:

"Hey, I'm drowning in work so I won't make it to your show. I'll meet you at your place later so we can talk🖤"

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @ruinhoney @someoneunimportantxx @calyumthomas @yourdeflightfullyleft @havethetimeeofyourlifee @shawmndes @wronglanemendes @chillingbythesea 

[mistymark]

the one with all the spoilers.

part of the 50 things you said project // mark lee x reader // 4.2k words // university!au // strangers to lovers!au // masterlist // send in requests here

summary; things you said when we were the only ones left 

warnings; drunk donghyuck, jeno and jaemin

request; this is for the 50 things you said works. I would like 31 with Mark, but could it be at the same roof party of that Renjun fic? I just thought it would be suuuuuper cute if oc was invited to Haechan's party and instead hanging out with Mark the entire night. Thank you!! 😘 (you can read the first fic here)

notes; I know it has been a loooonnnggg time since ive posted but ive been really trying to make this specific story as good as possible,,,, so I hope y’all like it. (sporadically edited)

You were late. You were so very late, and the bumper-to-bumper traffic was not helping. “Are we far away?” you asked the taxi driver, leaning forward in your seat only to see red brake lights and a long line of stopped vehicles in front of you.

“It might be faster to get out and walk, miss,” the driver informs you, leaning out his window to see what has caused such a delay on the normally-flowing road.

You thank the taxi driver and hand over the amount of money due, with a tip for his troubles, and run down the street, passing all the stopped cars in a blur. Without looking at what has caused the build up of traffic, you look down at your phone, hastily trying to figure out what street Donghyuck lives on now. You had previously been neighbours, for almost two years, but he had left a few months ago, opting to move in with one of his friends in a nicer apartment a few blocks down from you.

He’d sent you detailed instructions on how to get there from your workplace, knowing you’d get lost, but you were still unable to interpret his badly drawn Snapchat diagrams.

You eventually found the bakery he was referring to in his map, and turned left, walking towards some large apartment buildings. You figured you were in the right place and walked in, making your way up to his floor. When you arrived at the apartment, 6G, you couldnt hear any noise apart from the soft murmuring of two people talking and you hoped you weren’t too late and everyone had already gone home. You’d told Donghyuck you had work that day, and said you’ll be a bit late, but thirty minutes after your guaranteed time of arrival; you still hadn’t shown.

You knocked on the door. The murmurs stopped and you heard the door being unlocked, before being opened. Your eyes widened in shock at the boy before you, and you instantly looked down at your phone, suddenly unsure if you’d come to the right place as you took in the (rather attractive) boy’s appearance. He was dressed in flannel pyjama pants and a plain black tee, round glasses perched on his nose and a bowl of popcorn in his hand. He appeared to be the only one in the apartment. “Um, is this building 127 on 92nd?”

He smiled, “Yeah. Are you here for Hyuck’s birthday?” He turned around slightly, placing the bowl on a nearby table as you nodded shyly before opening the door wider to let you in. He made a gesture to his clothes, “Sorry, I thought everyone had already arrived.” 

“Oh! Er, no problem,” you tried to smile back and hide the shame you were feeling, before asking where you should put your present.

He gestured to the dining table, where various presents had been stacked haphazardly on top of each other. When he caught a glimpse of the tag on your gift, his eyes widened in realisation, “You’re y/n! Hyuck said you were going to be late. I completely forgot.”

You laughed with him, stealing a glance at the TV behind him, which happened to be playing your favourite TV show. No wonder you thought you’d heard voices when you first arrived.

He gestured to the window beside you, ‘giving you directions’ to get to the roof where the rest of the party was being held.

“You’re not coming?” You asked, surprised. 

He leant against the couch and patted the back fondly, “Nope, I’m staying here. Holding down the fort.”

“Just like Hyuck not to invite his own roommate to his party,” you grinned mischievously, not giving him the chance to dispute as you disappeared up the fire escape.

When you climbed over the edge and onto the roof, you sought out Donghyuck, as he was pretty much the only person you would know at this party. You’d met a few of his friends before while you were neighbours - Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun, specifically - but there were at least thirty people up here who you’d never even seen before.

You found Hyuck talking to two boys by the entryway, the latter both holding fireworks and with disappointed looks on their faces. He looked up as you approached, “Look who finally decided to show up!” Donghyuck patted the taller boy’s shoulder as he left and walked over to you, arms out for a hug.

You hugged him, laughing, “Don’t say it like you weren’t three hours late to my birthday.” He squeezed you in response.

“Have you seen Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin, yet? They’ll take care of you if you need it. I know you haven't met a lot of these people yet,” he smiled at you happily, his childish grin showing. He was evidently so happy and you couldnt help but smile back.

“I haven’t actually. I just arrived,” you said, glancing around. You saw Jeno and Jaemin playing drinking games in the dark with a few other people, and Renjun sitting down by the drinks table, alone.

You bid Hyuck goodbye as you walked towards Renjun, greeting him with a one-armed hug and grabbing a drink, before sitting down beside him on the stretched out lawn chair.

“It’s been ages since I last saw you,” he said, clinking his bottle against yours in a toast. “Have you been here the entire night?”

You sighed, “No, I just arrived twenty minutes ago. I had work and then traffic was bad and - it was a whole mess. I’m glad I came, though. I havent seen you and your dumb friends in ages.”

He laughed with you, recalling all the outrageous pranks and activities the 00 line had attempted whilst Hyuck lived next door to you. “I bet you don’t miss us,” he looked away, watching Jeno cheer for someone taking a shot and smiling.

“Believe it or not but you guys were better than the young married couple I live next to now,” you wrinkled your nose. “Let’s just say I try to take night shifts as often as possible.”

He cringed at your words and laughed, before looking up as Donghyuck approached, rather frantic, “Hey, y/n, could you duck downstairs and grab the case of beer in my bedroom? Mark will show you where it is.”

You stood up immediately, “Of course.” You turned to leave before turning back, “Um, quick question: who is Mark?”

Donghyuck had already rushed off, eyeing a stumbling partygoer by the drinks table worriedly. Renjun stayed sitting on the chair, lifting his beer up to his lips, “Mark’s Donghyuck’s roommate. The guy probably opened the door for you.”

You feel your eyebrows raise in realisation, and you’re suddenly embarrassed that you hadn't previously asked him his name, especially since you thought he was rather cute. “Oh,” you turn to leave. “Tell Hyuck I’ll be back in a second.”

You entered the apartment through the window, climbing in and attempting to not kick the flowerpot off the shelf beside it as you did. You landed nimbly on your feet and clapped your hands together, causing Mark to jump in his seat on the couch and turn around to you, “Oh God! You scared me.” You walked in the direction of the bedrooms, briefly checking which part of the show he was watching and he called out after you, “Hey! Bathroom is here!”

You stopped in the corridor, the doors to the two bedrooms on either side of you. You pointed to each one in turn, “I’m looking for Hyuck’s room. Which one?”

He didn’t bother turning around, his eyes glued to the screen, as he yelled, “Left!”

You searched Donghyuck’s room for the case of beer, before standing up with your hands on your hips, “Hey, Mark? Where’s the beer?”

“Closet!” His voice was muffled by a handful of food.

“It’s not here!” You shouted back, before mumbling under your breath, “Unless I’m blind.”

He leant back on the couch to better see where you were and his mouth fell open when he realised you were in the wrong room, his room. “Oh, um, y/n?”

“Yeah?” You poked your head around the door and leant against the wall, your cheek squishing against the doorframe. Mark’s lips quirked up a fraction at your pout.

“That’s... that’s my room. Hyuck’s is the other one.”

You immediately jumped back from the door, trying not to make eye contact as you shut the door and went into the bedroom opposite, “Oh, sorry. I thought you said left.” You attempted to hide your blush that was rising up your neck due to your embarrassment, wondering how how you could have been so stupid as to start going through a stranger’s bedroom.

“Right, yeah, sorry. My bad. Are you taking it up to the roof?” You heard him call from the couch, and you pulled your phone out to check the time. 

You placed it on the bed and eyed the case again, “Yeah.”

You could hear him let out a laugh, “Good luck with that.”

Stumbling out of Hyuck’s bedroom, the case in hand, you glared at him, “Gee, thanks for your help.”

Mark smirked, “You’re welcome.” Smartass, you thought.

You made your way to the door, before turning around, quickly shouting before it closed behind you, “By the way, she dies in the next episode! He ends up marrying her best friend!”

As the door slams shut, from you pulling it with your foot, you hear him groan and shout behind you. Smirking to yourself, you make your way up the stairs.

Hyuck thanks you for bringing all the beer up and you smile, insisting it was no problem. You crack a cold one with the boys one open and look around the crowd, Donghyuck departing once again to talk to his guests.

You spot Jeno under one of the food tables, rummaging through boxes of supplies as Jaemin stands behind him, his posture slack and foot tapping against the ground in an attempt to appear casual. Jeno whoops in success and jumps up, a roll of duct tape in hand. You grin at them, knowing they’re up to no good but not wanting to spoil their fun. 

You don't see Renjun anywhere, so you reach for your phone to check your messages, only to find the pocket you normally keep it in is empty. You pat yourself down, searching all your pockets for your phone, before realising you probably left it in Donghyuck’s room when you went to fetch more beer.

Climbing down the fire escape again, you enter Donghyuck’s apartment and make your way to his room, not bothering to greet Mark this time. He does a double take as he sees you walking, staring after you and hurriedly looking away as soon as you walk out of the bedroom, your hand sliding your phone into your pocket.

When you make your way back to the window, he refuses to take his eyes off the screen, “Hey, does she really die next episode?”

You turn around and watch the screen momentarily, making sure you got the right episode and weren't getting mixed up. When you don’t respond, Mark turns his head back a little. He watches you silently.

Your eyes snap down to his and you watch his eyebrows raise every so slightly, “Yeah, I’m sure. She goes to the wedding planner after they get engaged and-”

“They get engaged?!”

“Oh, yeah. It’s real cute. He’s all like ‘You’re so gorgeous will you do me a gosh darn favour and be my gosh darn wife’ and then she says ‘Oh YES I love you so passionately, my love is like a thousand burning stars!” He laughs as you lower and raise your voice to imitate the actors.

You quirk an eyebrow at him before turning around to leave, but he spins around in his seat, his arms coming to rest on top of the couch, “And then what happens?”

He’s staring at you so cutely, you can’t help but blush a little bit, “I - er... well, she says yes, obviously and then- OH WAIT NO THIS IS THE GOOD PART SHH!” You quickly run forward and snatch the remote from the arm of the couch, turning up the volume and staring at the TV with wide eyes.

You’re standing behind the couch now, subconsciously clutching the remote close to your chest as you watch the plot unravel on the screen, unaware of the fact that Mark is watching you.

When five minutes go by, and the credits are rolling, you start walking backwards towards the fire escape, your eyes on Mark, “I told you the engagement was lame. Next episode is the engagement party, I think, so enjoy that.”

“You don’t want to keep watching?” He asks, standing up with the empty chip bowl in his hand. “Hyuck won’t mind.”

You hesitate. You’d been here for less than an hour, and only spoken to Donghyuck briefly because he was so busy. And if you were being completely honest, you had jumped at the chance to help with the beer just because you didn’t have anything else to do. While you’d been chatting to Renjun, other people had come up and introduced themselves, but you either couldn’t remember their name or weren’t interested in talking to them again after your meagre conversation.

You bite the corner of your lip in thought, before nodding slowly, watching as he empties another packet of chips into the large bowl. “Sure. And I promise, no more spoilers.” 

He grinned at your answer and then pouted mockingly before walking back over to the couch. It was only now that you realised how ill-fitting Donghyuck’s furniture was. When he had moved in with Mark, they had obviously kept whatever furniture they previously owned and put it in the new apartment, despite the fact that Mark’s modern, stark white dining table and chairs contrasted to Donghyuck’s old brown leather sofa and wooden table. 

The three-seater couch sat opposite the TV, and you happily plopped yourself down on one side, Mark placing the bowl of chips between you two in offering. He pressed play on the remote.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but it was getting late, and you were at least another five episodes into the show. Mark had assured you Donghyuck told his drunken guests to leave via the stairwell rather than the fire escape (to prevent any injuries) so you were left virtually undisturbed. Two people (one who Mark addressed as Johnny) climbed in through the window and left, and you assumed the tall boy was taking the other home.

Renjun poked his head in the front door as he left to bid you a quick farewell and a ‘let’s catch up soon’, one arm around the much larger bodies of drunk Jaemin and Jeno. The party was still going on. When you slid your phone off the table, you noticed it was past midnight, and you were growing tired. You leant your head back and, when you looked over at Mark, your eyes slowly shutting, you realised he was already passed out on the couch.

It was sometime after three when Donghyuck stumbled into the apartment, carrying a box of decorations and trays. He had kicked the door open, dismissing the loud slam it made as it swung into the wall, and placed the box at the entrance of the apartment, before promptly disappearing into his room and face planting onto his bed.

The loud bang had disturbed your peaceful slumber, and your eyes began fluttering open, your mind screaming at you to go back to sleep. You could’ve gone back to sleep right there and then, bringing the pillow closer to your face but it was at that moment that you realised this was not a pillow, but was actually the soft black material of Mark’s shirt. Apparently, while you were sleeping, you had leant towards him slightly, your body weight causing you to lean diagonally towards Mark, who had shifted so that he was now with sleeping with one arm on the arm rest and one around you, sitting up slightly due to his previous sitting position.

His arm was wrapped around your shoulders, holding you to his stomach as you used him as a pillow, his legs outstretched and off the side of the couch. You attempted to move out of his hold, but he groaned, his other arm reaching down to hold you in place, “No. Stay.”

Suddenly, there was another loud bang as Donghyuck threw his bedroom door open in search of water and began making his way to the kitchen. The sudden noise made you jump in your half-asleep state, and you felt Mark stir as he blinked his eyes open, looking down at you in shock.

You were sure your face mirrored his, the surprise evident on your face.

You pushed yourself up and began gathering your things. It was at this point Donghyuck noticed you, “Oh, y/n! What a surprise! I’m so glad you came tonight, I had a wonderful time.” His eyes flickered to the couch as Mark sat up drearily, “Hey Ma- oh. My mistake. Forgive me. Have a good night.”

Donghyuck disappeared back into his bedroom, the door slamming shut behind him and you sighed, “I’d better get going.”

“What? You’re exhausted and it’s 3:30am. As if I’m going to let you drive home at this hour,” Mark said, standing up and fixing up the cushions on the couch. His eyes were half closed as he brought the dirty bowl to the kitchen.

“I was going to walk, or Uber,” you said.

“That’s dumb; you could literally be murdered. And that’s impractical - what Ubers would be out at this hour?”

“Well, how do you suggest I get home then?” Maybe it was the tiredness, but his snarky smartass attitude was getting on your nerves again. He was acting the same way he had been when you’d come to collect the beer case.

“I’m saying you should stay here,” Mark’s voice changed, becoming softer, quieter. 

“I shouldn’t-,” you immediately attempted to dismiss his kindness, but he argued back.

“It’s fine, you can sleep in my bed,” he watched your eyes widen and hid a smile as he glanced down at the floor. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Right, of course,” you said, eventually relenting and then helping him grab the last of the snacks from the couch.

He gestured towards his room, “Well, you know which one is mine. I have an early class tomorrow so I might not see you, but Donghyuck will be here so...” Mark set a pillow down, smirking at you, as he settled in on the couch, disappearing from view from where you stood behind it, “Sleep well.”

When you walked backed into Mark’s room, you couldnt help but notice how obviously Mark it was. When you were in it the first time, you hadn’t really been paying attention to it, focussing on finding the beer Hyuck had stashed. Now, you could fully appreciate the colours, the decorations, the organisation, everything that was completely Mark.

You noticed a spare blanket and pillow on his bed, and immediately pulled them into the living room, dropping them on Mark’s stomach before making your way back to his bedroom. You didn’t let yourself watch for his reaction.

The next morning, you woke up to Donghyuck lying across his couch, his hand clutching his head as he groaned in pain. He had shrieked when he first saw you walking out of Mark’s bedroom, thinking he was the only one home, and then almost cried because his own shout was so loud. You began to make him breakfast, but he insisted he couldn't eat and would wait until Mark came home from class, so you made yourself pancakes.

“Hey, can I get Mark’s number?” you asked casually, biting a piece of pancake.

Immediately, the younger boy sat bolt upright from the couch, his eyes wide in shock, “What?”

“Err... your roommate. Can I have his number?” You continued eating your breakfast, watching him closely.

“What do you want his number for?” Hyuck questioned, his elbow coming to rest on the back of the couch as he pressed his palm to his forehead.

“I wanted to thank him,” you said, straightening your back subconsciously at the subtle accusation in Donhyuck’s question. “I had a good time last night.”

“Ughhhh, y/n! I don’t want to hear that!”

“What? Oh, God, no. Donghyuck, no! Gross,” you turned back to face your plate, avoiding the boy’s gaze.

He sighed, dropping dramatically back onto the couch, “Fine, whatever. Grab me my phone, then. It’s on the bench over there, I think.”

“Uhh, what happened to it?” The phone screen was smashed beyond repair, and the phone was bent slightly in half. The forward-facing camera was dislodged, and the buttons were stiff, as if, when pressed, nothing would happen. When you pointed this fact out to Donghyuck, he groaned and threw it at the wall, ignoring the shattering sound of the glass screen as he flopped backwards onto the couch.

“Mark will know,” he mumbled into a pillow.

“Well, thanks for letting me stay last night. I’ll see you soon, okay?” You began to put on your coat as you searched for your handbag in the messy apartment.

The door swung open and Mark walked in, and you had to remind yourself to keep breathing. He was dressed casually in blue jeans and a plain white tee, with a dark bomber jacket to compliment the outfit. He wasn’t wearing glasses today, and you were unsure whether he looked better or worse without them.

He hung up his jacket on the rack, briefly glancing at both you and Hyuck as he did, “Oh! Y/n! I didn’t think you’d be here when I got back.” He shot you a grin, but you missed it as you finally grabbed your bag and slung it over you shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m heading off now. Thanks for letting me stay the night,” you walked past him to the door, sending him a small smile before yelling at Haechan just to frustrate him in his hungover state.

You left, and walked down the stairs of the building, berating yourself for not asking Mark for his number. The guy was easily the most attractive person you’d ever seen, and you liked the same TV shows. What you were thinking was: you’re basically soulmates.

With newfound determination, you spun on your heel and marched back to the apartment door, convincing yourself you were confident enough to get the boy’s number. You breathed deeply, before raising your hand to knock.

Before your hand could make contact with the wood, the door swung open, and suddenly a body slammed rather strongly into you. You didn’t need to look up to know it was Mark, you recognised his scent, and his voice when he began apologising.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry!” His hands gripped your waist as he simultaneously tried to hold you up and push you out of his way gently. 

“No, no, it’s-”

Finally, his brain seemed to have caught up to the situation. “Hey,” he breathed.

“Hi,” you smiled up at him. One arm was still wrapped securely around your waist, holding you flush against his body.

His eyes awkwardly flittered elsewhere, focussing on anything and everything as long as it wasn’t your face, “I, uh, was trying to catch you.”

You looked at your hand that was placed on his chest, “Well, here I am.” There was a lengthy pause. “What’s up?”

He cocked his head to the side, before pulling you up and slightly stepping back, clearing his throat,  “Wait. What are you doing here? Did you forget something?”

You glanced at your feet, suddenly insecure that he had just let you go whilst you were here trying to confess your feelings. “I... No. I actually came back to ask you for your number.”

His face lit up at your words, a large, happy smile stretching across his face as he suddenly reached into his pocket, producing a small square of paper, “I was going to catch you and give you this.”

You raised an eyebrow at it before plucking it from his fingers and opening the note. The words ‘call me’ were printed above his phone number, and below, a message:

spoiler alert! we go on a date :)

You laughed at his reference to the night before, during which you had spoiled many episode endings. 

“Well? Is that a yes? I can’t tell,” he asked, stepping forward a little.

“Definitely,” you smiled, reaching your arms up to wrap around his neck as your faces drew closer, and closer, and closer, and-

“MARK, CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE ME A QUESADILLA?” Donghyuck’s voice interrupted what was almost a kiss, and Mark giggled, resting his forehead against yours.

“We’ll continue this later.” Then he stepped back, gave your hand a squeeze and shut the door of his apartment.

there u have it kiddos!!! my first post in like two months lol (sorry, love u)

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

idk - sometimes it is more important to connect - played w Liam him backing me then vice Versace sorta - went straight into pa no muss fuss less to go wrong - I don't think anything we played quite came out as expected unless u expected mumbled lyrics and some general sloppiness mostly moi - yah no surprise - liam seem to struggle a bit - but - a big one - when we connect it's locked in - its flying its magic - and healing - we havent tawk much and heavy shit went down - we do talk serious after outside away from ppl - then he has to get back home - madrone is close and he left ppl hanging while he came to play w me  - he didnt tell me till after we play and talk cuz he knew i just tell him stay chill home u got guests  - the talktalk almost a formality - he wanting me to know he is just dealing not shutting me out - which i knew - we just wanna make sure we connected - we make it thru heavy shit before and we walk in love 

the audience - I think they dug it - maybe - yah they did - cuz they feel the love and its messy sometimes painful and things get fucked up - its all real as fuck and beautiful - and for a minute actually we played over 30 it seemed like forever it felt like 5 - shared love in a performance - casual - well I did have my rock star scarf - it gets in the way lol - yah we played down the drain w Liam singing - then a morph into something new - then a deep space 9 type jam that he sang some words at one point - swear to gawd - he playing a mic'd acoustic me my electric - couldn't tell who playing wat our fingers free - melodies emerge some familiar some more a deja vu future  - so like i sed - we play over 30 - liam asks if we have more time lol  - tom actually considers but b4 we played things were running a couple minutes early - now running late - btw - u no how i hatez tuning on stage - after 1 song - i gess we were a little intense - liam had no choice and i checked and 2 strings so out - while playing we bend notes to in tune - compensate intuitively avoiding bad strings - idk  - its like when i play to someones voice - no reel reference point except in mind - i actually mumble an apology into the mic - we noodle a bit to make sure we in tune w each other  slowly morphing into actually playing - it seem natural but in retro everything but  - esp onstage  - then again we play w stage intensity when we fuck around at the music store or casual onna porch of kava  - i mean one time at guitar center imma mid solo and snot pour out - lol - i dont stop playing 

so a bit of time pass - b4 leaving - i lissen to a few ppl one whom is going back to london  - people make a point to tell me they liked our performance and ask who liam iz - how we connected  - i once told someone - everything is better w liam inna mix - its true 

i actually am working on being just a bit - less sloppy  - actually learning the changes in liam and vita songs - tho last night we played white carnations which i have a recording to practice along to and have - and i went blank and fumble finger around the fretboard lost for the 1st verse and chorus  - it wuz 2nd to last song - maybe i wuz tired - we had played over an hour and playing singing performing well  - and prob w more intensity than realize - did we go thru this last night - i remember writing for over an hour on a tab that had been reopened 1 too many times - i know better  - yah i coulda saved by using cut copy blah blah but as tired as i realized i was prolly wooda fucked it up and got frustrated  

yah the futures uncertain jim  - not sure about how near the end is   (j morrison roadhouse blues - tired may not post song ) 

right now - we get together when we can - we create we play we have fun we love we take care of each other  - its early daze  - known liam just over a year - vita 3 months ?  

its awmost midnight - gotta do dishes - change clean kitty litter and box also almost 4got 

laterz

love

[thetravelerwrites]

A New Generation (Pt. 2)

Rating: Teen Fandom: 魔法使いの嫁 | Mahou Tsukai no Yome | The Ancient Magus Bride Relationships: Hatori Chise x Elias Ainsworth Characters: Elias Ainsworth, Hatori Chise, Chise Hatori, Silver Lady, Silkie, Ruth, Titania, Oberon, Shannon, Stella Barklem, Angelica Burley, David Burley, Althea Burley, Lindel | Lindenbaum, Merituuli Trigger Warnings: Pregnancy, Childbirth, Babies, Infants, Depression, Anxiety, Discrimination, Unplanned Pregnancy, Abandonment, References to Abuse, References to Abandonment, References to Child Murder Words: 8551

As Chise's pregnancy progresses, Elias is consumed with worry that his child will be rejected by both fae and humans, as he had been. Chise struggles with the fear that she might abandon or harm her own children, as her parents did. 

When Elias returned home from London, he sat down with Chise and had a very long, solemn conversation with her about the pregnancy, and for the first time, they talked about a future that also involved their child. Or children, if Chise was correct in her belief that there were two.

He told her about going to speak with Lindel, Simon, and Angelica and what their advice had been. Like him, Chise found Angelica’s tale the most consoling. Knowing that the artificer had felt similar apprehension about procreating helped Chise feel less isolated.

Calling Angelica and talking to her at length also did much to improve Chise’s disposition, not just about Chise’s ability to parent but also about the pregnancy itself. It didn’t cure her of her worries, but having someone to talk to who knew exactly what she was going through was a great comfort to her.

Finally managing to convince Elias to install a landline in the house had been a pretty recent accomplishment. He fought this "modern indulgence" for quite a long time, but when he finally understood that it meant she didn’t have to walk to town to use the public phone every other day, he was more open to the idea, especially since walking long distances was going to become rather difficult for her as time went on. The noise the device made was annoying, but seeing her smile when she answered it was enough to keep him from being too bothered by the sound.

The change in her mood greatly eased Elias’s mind. Watching Chise spiral into a deep, black pit of terror and depression was difficult for him to bear, especially given there was little he could on his own to improve it. As much as he wanted to help her, he had eventually come to understand that sometimes people could only find solace in others who’d had comparable experiences. This was just not his ken, so it was better left to those suited to the task.

He tried to quash his own fears for her sake, but she knew him too well to let him get away with keeping those thoughts to himself. At night, before they slept, she would talk to him; just talk, not expecting him to respond if he wasn’t in the mood to do so, and it helped him. Hearing the sudden shift in her voice from cold despair to tentative hope had done much to alleviate his woes. She encouraged him to be honest with her about what he felt, but didn’t push him to talk if he didn’t want to. More often than not, though, he would. They would lay bear their worries to each other and try to find the bright side. They were both still afraid, but they were facing that fear together.

And it helped.

Summer was in full swing, and Elias was twice as busy as normal now that Chise was limited as to what she could do. He didn’t grumble about it much; after all, he had done everything himself before she had come along. But they had become a well-coordinated, efficient team over the years and he had come to treasure her reserved, supportive assistance in all things, whether practical or magical. He rather missed working in tandem with her.

Though she was no longer allowed to do any of her normal seasonal chores beyond a little light weeding and watering, she would often sit in the garden with him as he worked and help whenever she could, not content with staying in bed all day like an invalid. Besides, having Chise within Elias’s sight and hearing was good for his heart and mind.

Ruth spent his time keeping a close, watchful eye on her, reporting any physical ills that Chise might keep to herself to Elias. As long as she was at rest, though, they were happy enough.

Late one night, he walked into their bedroom to prepare for sleep and found her naked in front of a mirror, standing to the side, looking down at her belly.

“What are you doing?” He asked curiously.

“Look at my stomach,” She said, her hands gently probing her lower abdomen. “It’s bigger. And it’s hard, too. Feel.”

Elias came close and laid his hand on her stomach. It was indeed hardened, as though she had swallowed a large stone, and there was a swelling between her hips; not big, but definitely noticeable.

And perhaps he imagined it, but he thought he felt a strange swirl of energy embedded there underneath the flesh and muscle, lodged deep in her body. No, two swirls. Perhaps Chise’s instinct was more credible than he first thought.

“Hmm,” He said. “Why is that?”

“Angelica says the uterus thickens and becomes more solid to protect the fetuses,” She said, reaching for a book on her nightstand. “It says so in this, too. Alice sent it to me. I told her about the babies, by the way, but I swore her to secrecy. I haven’t told Stella yet, but she’s busy at university and I didn’t want to bother her during finals.”

Elias bent to peer at the book. “What is it?”

She flipped through the rather large paperback volume. “It’s a book about pregnancy and birth. It’s actually pretty informative. So many things make sense now.”

“May I read it, then?” He asked. “There is much I still need to learn. I have a distinct dearth of knowledge about this particular subject and I feel compelled to rectify that.”

“Sure,” she said, handing it to him. “I’ve read up to the third trimester, so I won’t need it for a little while. I hope it helps.”

In some ways it did, and in others it didn’t. During gestation, he learned, the woman’s body produces excess blood to carry extra oxygen to the baby, which in turn causes the mother’s heart rate to accelerate for the duration of the pregnancy, which in turn causes her core temperature to rise. That explained that part, at least.

But other aspects of pregnancy and childbirth were, to put it mildly, horrifying. Things like nosebleeds, strange cravings, extreme mood swings, increased sex drive, swelling of the extremities, sudden hair growth or hair loss, violent fits of vomiting that lasted for months, soreness almost everywhere, food aversions, heighten sensitivity of smell, touch, and taste… the list of physical oddities was extensive. Bones would often be pushed out of the way and change position to compensate for the growing child, sometimes even fracturing or breaking in the process. And all of this was considered normal.

And those were just minor possible symptoms. The more severe ones were downright ghastly. There was no end of ways that it could go wrong, no end to the possible damage to the mother, no end to the ways the child could be born ill or malformed, and that was just for regular, non-magical children. There was no telling what kind of ailments could befall the child of two mages, especially if both parents were cursed.

And the descriptions of the birthing process itself, including the many, many things that could go awry, was nothing short of nauseating. Several times, he had to shut the book and put it aside for a while, appalled at what he learned. He hated to admit it, but sometimes knowledge for knowledge’s sake wasn’t always a good thing.

Once the first physical changes had begun, time seemed to speed up. Chise’s body changed rapidly, her stomach growing larger every day to carry the new life safely. She seemed especially breakable these days, and Elias couldn’t help being even more protective than he had been before.

For years before he had bought Chise, nothing had changed. Things went on as they always had, and it was as comfortable as it was dull. Then, once he met her, things changed, but it was a slow change. Even though things happened that never had before, it came at a pace he could understand and absorb.

Now, everything was new and happening too fast for him to process, and he was trying his best to keep up. He did not adapt well to change.

One afternoon in late July, while Chise was having her afternoon nap, Elias awoke her with a touch to her cheek.

“I’m sorry to wake you, Little Bird,” He said softly. “But there is a guest downstairs who has come a long way to see you. Are you feeling up to greeting them?”

She smiled. “Sure.”

Downstairs, she saw a tallish, pale man standing in their sitting room in modern clothes, looking around the room curiously. His blonde hair was separated into two bunches and hung over his shoulders. The the pupils of his bright blue eyes were slits, like that of a wild predator.

“Lindel!” Chise exclaimed in surprise.

When he saw her enter the room, a wide smile split his face. “It’s good to see you, my daughter,” He said, his arms open toward her.

She rushed forward to give him a hug. “What are you doing here? The dragons--”

“Can survive me being gone for an hour or two. Besides, Merituuli is to inform me right away if anything should happen while I’m here. I haven’t heard from you in a while and I wanted to check on you.” He held her at arms length and looked at her belly. “You’re coming along rather quickly, aren’t you? I sense very strong life essences brewing in there. Your offspring will be incredibly powerful mages. I can’t wait to meet my grandchildren; you must bring them to the aerie once they’ve been born.”

“More than one?” Chise asked.

“Oh, yes,” Lindel replied. “Two separate, distinct energies, hale and healthy, growing well.”

“Ha,” Chise said quietly. “I knew it.”

“Now,” He took her hand and hooked it around his arm. “Why don’t you give me a tour and tell me all about your preparations for the little ones? I’ve never actually been to Thorn’s home, you know. The ungrateful brat has never so much as extended an invitation.”

Elias sniffed slightly and sat in his chair, picking up a book he must have been reading before Lindel arrived.

“Of course,” She said, turning. Silver was looking in shyly from the kitchen, where Ruth was having a snack. “This is Silver Lady. She’s a neighbor who runs the house and looks after us. She’s been a big help to me.”

Lindel bowed. “A pleasure.”

Maybe it was Chise’s imagination, but she could have sworn Silver blushed.

“Good to see you again, Ruth,” Lindel said pleasantly. “Keeping a sharp eye on our favorite girl, are you?”

“Of course,” Ruth said. “She’s been getting plenty of rest, but she’s not eating as much as I’d prefer.”

Chise sighed heavily. “Elias’s fussing is bad enough, but having a fae nanny breathing down my neck all day is really irritating.”

Lindel laughed softly. “I would imagine so.”

Chise showed him her old room upstairs with Ruth trailing behind, where Silver had surprised her one day by converting it into a nursery. Silver, at least, seemed very excited about the new additions to the family and was going to extraordinary lengths to make sure the house was ready for their arrival.

The brand-new cupboards were stacked with blankets and swaddling and dressing gowns and cloth diapers, all handmade by Silver. There were double changing tables and bassinets, set side by side, and even a rocking chair next to the window. Chise had no idea where all the new furniture had even come from. Silver had used neutral colors to decorate the room: a mix of light and dark browns and soft purples and blues. The walls had been painted with a mural of wildflowers and trees, and the floor was plush grass-green carpet, as though the room was outside in a meadow. It was beautiful. Chise had cried and hugged Silver for quite a while when Silver presented it to her.

Ah, mood swings.

Elias had not been prepared for these emotional outbursts and, quite frankly, neither had Chise. She’d go from really happy to really sad to really annoyed all in the span of a few minutes. It was rather dizzying for the both of them. Ruth tried to warn Elias when they were coming, but he couldn’t always tell, so they were often blindsided by a sudden explosion of emotion that even Chise didn’t always understand. He supposed there was some comfort to be found in the fact that she was just as confused as he was.

Chise showed Lindel Elias’s study, and her workroom beyond where she practiced her spellcraft, and then decided to take a break in the garden. Lindel sat with Chise, talking animatedly about the baby dragons and happily eating Silver’s sandwiches and cakes. It was probably a nice change from stew. He even coaxed a song from Chise, one he had taught her in Icelandic about a hungry raven that slept beneath rock rifts. She had missed singing with him.

The sound of their voices raised in song brought Elias out to join them. He hadn’t heard her sing in some time and was pleased to hear it. She only sang when she was in a good mood. The resonance of their voices made the trees stand straighter, the flowers bloom brighter, and the sunlight shine gently upon them without being overpowering. When Lindel and Chise worked together, everything they touched was magic. Elias couldn’t help but be a little jealous of that.

The visit was a splendid one that did much to brighten Chise’s spirit. Before long, Lindel felt the aerie calling his heart home and left Chise with a hug and well-wishes. He even shook Elias’s hand.

Lindel snapped and sparked and was gone in a flurry of snow and cinders. Chise was sorry to see him go. She really felt as though Lindel was a surrogate father. When he called her his daughter, there had been weight to it. He genuinely meant it.

Chise made to go inside, but Elias took her by the hand to stop her, looking off into the woods.

“I believe we may have further visitors,” He said, taking his veil and flinging it over his face. He pointed to the treeline.

There, almost invisible under the dappled sunlight filtering through the trees, stood a fae woman of indescribable beauty. Her black hair trailed behind her and brushed the ground as she walked, and her skin was as smooth as the petals of a lily. Her eyes, the colors of which shifted as though iridescent, were locked on Chise from where she stood motionless in the shadow. How long she had been there, no one could say, but her attention was on Chise and nothing else.

“Lady Titania,” Chise breathed.

As though summoned, Titania stepped out of the shelter of trees and began to walk toward them. Spriggan stepped out of her shadow, the gold rings adorning his staff jingling as he walked. He looked as surly as ever.

“My dear, sweet robin,” Titania said, holding her arms out to Chise and she stepped forward. “Oh! Isn’t it so wonderful!”

“I assume the little folk have informed you of Chise’s condition,” Elias said.

“Oh,yes, my child. I can’t tell you how pleased I am! Oberon is beside himself.” She glanced back to the forest’s edge. Chise and Elias followed her gaze to see Oberon running to and fro, giggling like a child and throwing flowers into the air. Chise laughed softly and shook her head.

Titania returned her attention to Chise and touched her hand to Chise’s belly. “Look how far along you are! I must say, though, I am terribly put out that you hid it from us for so long.”

“I’m sorry,” Chise said. “I… it’s been… difficult.”

Titania took her face in her hands. “Poor child,” She said. “Do not despair. This is a blessing. What a wondrous gift it is to be mortal. The fae do not breed well with each other and as such, our children are rare. That’s why there are so many old tales among mortals about halflings, though such things are far less likely in this millenia.” Her gaze brushed across Elias’s tall form briefly. “I suppose it’s how your race proliferates so effectively. You’re like rabbits, in that way.” She giggled.

“Oh, what a wonderful turn of fate!” Oberon crooned gleefully, skipping around the group of them. “I can’t wait to see the new little mages. Is there any chance at all they’ll be blonde? Oh, nevermind, they’ll be adorable either way!”

“Titania,” Elias started, ignoring Oberon as he pranced around them, laying a flower crown on Chise’s head. “You have the gift of foresight. Can you…” He paused, clutching the fabric of his shirt over his chest, as though in pain. “Is there any way to tell… that is to say…” He stumbled to a stop.

“Elias,” Titania said kindly. “Ask your question plainly, and I shall answer as best as I can.”

Elias sighed. “The children… our children… will they be… like me? Half-creatures, hated and shunned for the sin of merely being alive in a world where they do not belong?”

Chise’s heart bled for him. It must have quite a blow to his pride to ask that question. She knew he’d never admit it to anyone, not even her, but the constant reminder that he was neither one or the other was something that caused him perpetual grief. The idea that he was terrified his own children would share this fate made Chise’s heart ache. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it consolingly.

“Oh, Thorn,” Titania said sadly. “I see branches; roads that split and diverge like serpents in the sea of potentiality. I see many possibilities, though some are more likely than others. I cannot give you a solid answer because the paths are still many and multiplying. I cannot tell you for certain what will be.” She laid a hand on his chest and smiled. “But would you like to know what I feel?”

He nodded, apprehensive.

“I feel love and joy,” She said. “I hear laughter echoing within the walls of this dwelling. Your children will have fragments of their father residing in them, as all children do, but they will have the protection and favor of all who love them. And there will be many who love them. They are blessed by the Queen of the Fae herself, and my blessing is no paltry trinket.”

“Titania, I…” Elias said, unable to continue.

Oberon slid over to his wife and winked at her, a wide smile on his face. He then turned to Elias.

“Do not fret, thorn child,” He said. “However tainted your lineage may be, you are still one of us, and your bride is beloved by our kind. Your children, then, will be doubly revered by all fae. You have no cause to worry.”

“Thank you. That is… very comforting,” He replied, though his tone said to Chise that he was still rather troubled.

Chise endured another few minutes of Titania and Oberon’s doting before they decided to depart. She felt rather relieved when they left. They could be a lot to handle all at once.

That night, lying in bed with Elias, the question he had asked the Faerie Queen revolved over and over in her mind.

“Elias?” She asked softly, trying not to wake Ruth. “Are you still awake?”

She couldn’t see his pupils, but he did answer. “Yes.”

She lay her hand on the back of his neck and stroked it. “Are you really worried about how the children will turn out?”

Elias sighed. “It does not matter to me what they will look like,” He said somberly. “But it will matter to humans. Experience has taught me well that mankind does not adapt quickly to things that are strange or unusual.” He turned his head to look at her. “The fae will not care about their appearance, either, but they will see them as my children, spawn of the halfling failure. That alone may be enough to draw the ire of the fae against them, despite what Titania and Oberon said. Those two have never failed in their kindness to me, but it is borne out of pity, not respect, and the rest of the fae are not so magnanimous. Some are indifferent to me, but most, like the Spriggan, are openly hostile. I do not wish for my children to suffer because of who their father is.”

“Oh, Elias,” Chise said, holding him close. “I wish I could--Oh!” Chise sat up abruptly, pulling the covers down and placing both hands on her belly.

“What?” He asked in alarm, turning to sit up. “What is it? Are you alright?”

“I felt them.”

“You did?” He asked.

“Yes,” She said, moving her hands around gingerly. “I felt a thumping on the inside. I felt some flutters before, but I was never sure what they were. That was definitely a kick.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, looking at her abdomen.

In response, she took his hand and laid it down on her stomach, instructing him to wait. He did so, and it took nearly five minutes, but there was a distinct nudge against his hand.

Chise looked up and smiled at him, but his heart was in his throat. He couldn’t decide if he was excited or panicked. Talking about the baby, seeing her belly expand, making preparations: for some reason, none of that made it feel real. But this did. Feeling the tiny movements of the child on his own skin from the inside of her body was what made it reality to him.

“We should call on Shannon tomorrow,” Chise said. “I’m twenty weeks. It’s about time for a check-up.”

“Y-yes,” He said vaguely. “Of course.”

She took his face in her hands. “Are you all right?”

“I do not know,” He answered honestly. “I am… frightened.”

“I know,” She said. She laid her forehead on his.

They stayed that way for many minutes, their foreheads touching, his hand on her belly, feeling the little jumps and thumps of his children moving about inside. Frightened was not an adequate word for what he felt. He didn’t know if there was a word strong enough.

Time seemed to move very fast for a while, and then suddenly slowed to a snail’s pace. Before they knew it, it was winter. Chise had grown very large, and Shannon expected the babies to come a few days after the new year.

Chise kept to the house exclusively now, since moving was more difficult, not to mention that Elias was highly paranoid about her catching an illness in her condition. She spent much of the time nesting, which is an instinctual habit among mothers-to-be to make sure everything was in its proper place and perfect. Silver had taken care of most of that for her, but it didn’t stop Chise from folding and refolding all of the babies’ linens and making sure things were just so.

As the time for the birth came closer, the atmosphere of the house grew more and more anxious. Chise was rather sick of being pregnant and was ready to be able to stand without assistance and not eat what felt like half her body weight every day. Ruth was restless and impatient. He could feel the time getting closer just as acutely as Chise did.

If Chise was anxious and Ruth was restless, Elias was downright terrified. He spent a lot of time alone in his study, unable to control this emotion. He didn’t want to worry her more than she already was, but he couldn’t push away the awful feeling of dread.

He had slowly grown accustomed to the idea of the children, but not the possibility that they would take after him. The idea that they could be subjected to cruelty and discrimination for simply being his children made his blood run cold. How could he protect them against that kind of hatred? How could he shield them from the animosity of both humans and fae? He could weather it just fine; he was used to it, and some of it was deserved. He had once been a monster, after all. But they would be innocent and guileless. They didn’t deserve to be treated as he had been.

As much as he tried to hide his worry from Chise, he knew she felt it. He could see it on her face when she looked at him sometimes. It wasn’t pity that she showed him, but empathy. If anyone would understand, it would be her, but this was just one thing he couldn’t talk to her about. She always tried to soothe him and tell him things would be fine, but she had no way of knowing that for certain. Blind optimism just didn’t work for him.

Very late on the night before Christmas eve, a sharp yelp of pain woke Elias from sleep. It had been Ruth: he had bounced out of his bed and shot to Chise’s side, immediately switching to his human form. Chise was sitting curled around her stomach, gasping.

“Chise?” Elias asked.

“I think my water broke,” Chise gasped. “I’ve been having contractions, but they weren’t bad until now. We need Shannon.”

“Shannon! Silver!” Elias called.

A flash shot through the room. Elias turned on the lamp and found Shannon standing next to Chise, trying to pull her to her feet. The silky came through the door in an instant, a tub of hot water and many towels in her hands. It was almost as if she were waiting for the call.

Shannon had Chise sit on a wooden chair with a curved back, urging her to recline with her pelvis tilted out, putting a pillow behind her to support her back. Silver helped Chise out of her underwear and flipped the hem of her nightgown up over her stomach, exposing her entire lower half. Chise didn’t have the wherewithal to be embarrassed about her tender bits out for the entire room to see. The pain was pushing everything else out of her brain.

“Is it supposed to hurt this much?” Ruth gasped, his arms wrapped around his stomach.

“There are two living creatures the size of watermelons attempting to tear their way out of her body, Ruth. Yeah, it’s gonna hurt,” Shannon said dryly.

“Sorry, Ruth,” Chise said, breathing heavily. “I’m trying to block it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ruth said. “I don’t really care about me right now.”

“What can I do?” Elias asked anxiously.

“You and Ruth, get on either side. Both of you hold her hand with one of yours and then let her use your other hand to brace her feet on. She’s going to need the leverage when she starts pushing.”

Elias and Ruth, took their positions. Chise had already begun to sweat profusely and was breathing shallowly. Silver stood at her head, stroking her hair gently and ready with a cloth to wipe her brow.

“Deep breaths, Chise,” Shannon said, kneeling on the ground and pushing a gloved hand into Chise’s body to gauge her dilation. “Nine centimeters,” Shannon said, removing her hand. “Not quiet ready yet, but it’s going to be soon.”

Chise could only nod, attempting with little success to take deep breaths as she was instructed. Her head rolled to look at Elias with fear in her eyes.

“It’s too early,” She said in a terrified whisper. “I’m not due for another three weeks.”

“It’s all right,” Elias whispered, knowing he might be lying. “It will be all right.”

Chise had no choice but to wait until her body opened up enough to start pushing, and it took a few long, miserable hours of pain and sweating. By the time Shannon got into position, it was only an hour before dawn.

“Okay,” Shannon said. “Elias, Ruth, take one foot each and push it toward her chest, but not forcefully. Chise, take several deep breaths. When I say, take a very deep breath, hold it, and start pushing. When I count to ten, you can let go and breath again. Understand?”

Chise nodded, already very tired from the waves of pain she had been suffering over the past few hours. She steeled herself and began to take slow, deep breaths.

“Ready? Okay, deep, deep breath and push!”

Chise pulled in as much air as her lungs could take and held it, bracing her legs against Ruth and Elias’s grip, and pushed with all her might, her face pulled back in a grimace of pain and exertion.

“One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten, and breathe,” Shannon instructed. Chise blew out her breath explosively and gulped in air.

“Okay, again. Deep breath, and push!”

It went on like this for quite a time. They only paused the pushing for Chise to drink water and for Silver to wipe the sweat from her face and neck. Elias talked in Chise’s ear during these brief moments of rest, telling her that she was strong and that he had faith in her. She seemed so tired, but she smiled at him and dotted a kiss on his nose in reply.

Finally, as the first rays of sunlight shone through the window, Shannon pulled a small, reddish-purple infant from Chise’s body. It shrieked as it took it’s first breaths of life, it’s color changing as it took in oxygen. Shannon placed the sticky ball of outrage on Chise’s chest for a moment, allowing the new mother to inspect the little creature for herself while Shannon detached the umbilical cord.

“It’s a baby girl,” Shannon said, smiling.

Chise let go of Ruth and Elias and wrapped her fingers around the tiny thing as it screamed it’s fury at them all. Chise was crying, too, but not in anger. Her face, red and sweaty though it was, lit with joy as she held her newborn daughter.

Suddenly, she seized up with a sudden contraction and hissed with pain. The baby was whisked out of her arms by Silver, who took it to a nearby dressing table to clean it.

“We’re halfway there,” Shannon said. “Let’s get ready. On the next contraction, we start the pushing again.”

Chise nodded, letting Ruth and Elias take hold of her feet and push them back.

Once the first baby was out, the second wasn’t far behind. It wailed more loudly than it’s twin, thrashing about angrily on Chise’s chest, though Chise clearly didn’t seem to mind.

“It’s another little girl,” Shannon said with a grin.

Tears poured from Chise’s eyes as she held her daughter, gasping from the effort of pushing. The touch of her mother’s hands had calmed the baby and she was no longer writhing spastically, but wiggling and making little grunting sounds, lying on her belly in Chise’s grasp.

After a moment, this child, too, was taken away for cleaning. Then there was more work to be done. The afterbirth had to be removed from Chise’s body, which caused a small fountain of blood to escape. Elias and Ruth panicked, but Shannon said this could happen sometimes and it wasn’t serious as long as it was contained quickly. She gave Chise a tea that would help stop the bleeding and once she had finished it, Silver lifted Chise as if she weighed nothing and took her to the bathroom for a proper cleaning. Shannon followed, leaving Ruth and Elias alone with the newborns, lying side by side and safely bundled up in the crib near Chise’s side of the bed.

While she was gone, Ruth went to inspect the babies up close. “Elias,” He called to the mage, who was still sitting in a daze. “Come and see.”

Elias stood with his heart pounding in his chest and walked to stand by Ruth, looking down at his brand new daughters with a lump in his throat. Now that they were cleaned, he could see them better. They were still wiggly and wrinkly, but there were distinct differences between the twins. One had a full head of white-blonde hair and a peachy-pink complexion, while the other had fine red fuzz on her head and was as pale as bleached bone.

“I remember the day that Isabelle was born,” Ruth said solemnly, lost in his memory. “I had only been with the family for a few months and I didn’t quite understand what was happening at the time. I didn’t know what a baby was. She was so tiny and weird-looking, but I loved her right away. We were together all the time after that. I existed for her; I’d have done anything for her.”

He stared down at the two sleeping infants, his eyes dark with recollection. “I took it for granted, thinking she’d always be there. I didn’t see the dangers until it was too late. I should have done more to protect her. If I had been a better brother, she might have lived a long, happy life. I didn’t do enough, and she died.” He reached out but stopped just short of touching the one with red hair. “For them, I’ll do better. I’ll be better. I promise.”

Elias did not respond. He stared down at his sleeping girls rather blankly.

Yes, He thought to himself. I, too, must be better.

Silver and Shannon returned with Chise, clean, wearing a fresh nightgown, and remarkably able to walk unassisted. Elias helped ease her back into the freshly changed bed, then Shannon handed Chise the white-haired baby girl. Shannon insisted that Chise try to breastfeed the baby, as it would help promote clotting. Silver went to work cleaning the gory aftermath off of the floor. Ruth, as a grim, sniffed each child keenly with his tail wagging.

It took a few tries and some urging to get the baby to latch to her breast; apparently babies weren’t born knowing how to do this and had to be taught, but once she found her way, she seemed to be content and fell asleep while feeding, her tiny arm resting on Chise’s skin. Elias watched curiously.

“You probably won’t be able to produce enough milk to fill both babies at the same time, so you might want to supplement with formula. You may even decide to go formula exclusively, which is fine. As long as they get the enzymes from your breastmilk at the start, it’ll be a big boost to their immune systems.”

Chise nodded without looking up, absorbed in the tiny little girl at her breast with it’s little fist around Chise’s finger. She seemed to finish quickly, and Chise lifted the baby for Elias to hold.

“Chise…” He said nervously. “I don’t… I can’t… I don’t think…”

“It’s okay, Elias,” Chise said with a smile. “You’re going to have to hold them at some point. Might as well be now.”

“Just remember to support the head,” Shannon said. “The neck muscles are underdeveloped.”

“Here,” She sat up and, holding the baby in one arm, used her hand to make a cradle of his. “Like this.”

Exercising more care than he ever had in his entire existence, he took the tiny bundle into his arms, cradling it gently. He could feel the warmth of it’s little body through the blankets, as though he were holding a glowing coal. He lifted her up so he could inspect her more closely. As he did so, she opened her eyes for the first time and looked up at him. Her eyes were the color of evergreens, like her mother. But unlike her, the pupils were not round but slits, like that of a wild creature. The eyes of a fae. The eyes of a mage.

“Chise, look,” Elias said, bending to show her. Chise, who had taken the red-haired babe and was feeding her from the other breast, peered at the child Elias held and smiled. Her smile faded and her eyes narrowed curiously.

“What is it?” Elias asked.

“Look at her head, a little bit above the hairline. There’s a bump. No, there’s two, one on either side. Do you see them?”

Elias brought the baby close to his face, examining her closely. There was, indeed, some sort of bump there. Carefully readjusting his grip, he felt the bumps with his finger. They felt like… bone? No, not bone…

“Horns,” Elias said softly. “She has horns.”

Chise laughed softly, her eyes warm with affection. “You certainly can’t deny she’s yours, can you?”

He looked down at her, a new warmth spreading though his chest. “No…” He said. “I cannot.”

“Have you decided on names?” Shannon asked, sitting on the other side, monitoring the mother and her little ones closely.

Elias was taken aback. It wasn’t something he had even thought about. He’d been so preoccupied with his doubts and fears that he hadn’t room to think of anything else.

“It is Christmas Eve,” Chise said, looking out of the snow covered windows. She looked at the little redhead, sleeping peacefully in her arms. “Her hair reminds me of holly berries, so why don’t we call her Holly?” She smiled and gazed at the white-haired child Elias clutched to him. “And with her green eyes, she should be named Ivy.”

Elias sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, bending to nuzzle her head.

“Yes,” He said fondly. “It’s perfect.”

After both parents had a turn holding both of their infant girls, they gave Silver and Ruth a chance. Ruth was anxious and attentive, fearful of being clumsy or accidentally jostling his new nieces and upsetting them, but Silver seemed overjoyed to hold the tiny babes, smiling brightly and giggling at their noises. A better nanny than Silver Lady could not be found anywhere, either in the mortal realm or the kingdom of the fae. Chise had a feeling she was going to be relying heavily on her for the next few months.

While holding Holly, Silver made a small noise of surprise.

“Silver?” Chise said. “What is it?”

Silver brought the baby to the bed and knelt down between Elias and Chise, where the parents could see the newborn’s eyes. The irises were solid black and didn’t reflect light, instead seeming to consume it. The pupils, however, were red. Not the bright holly red of her hair, but a dark crimson red, like blood on snow, and they too were mere slits.

“Oh,” Chise breathed. “Look at that. Aren’t they beautiful?”

Elias, seeing the trace his own eyes looking back at him from his daughter’s face, was at a loss for words.

His children were mostly human, it seemed, but they retained a piece of him, a fragment of his fae blood, just as Titania said. Before, this thought made him worry about their future, but seeing them now, he felt… what was this? It was a good feeling, but it carried weight with it. Pride? Was that it? Did he feel proud? Perhaps so.

After a while, Shannon insists that everyone leave the room to the new parents and their children, and Elias settled himself in a chair beside the bed, with Chise on his left side and the crib on the right. All three of his girls were sleeping peacefully. Ivy seemed content in being wrapped up in her swaddling, but Holly had kicked her way out of the blankets so that she could move freely.

He watched them sleep with mixed emotions, laying his hands on the stomachs of the babes, comforted by their warmth. As if waiting for this, they both reached out and gripped his fingers in their fists and held on with a surprisingly strong grip.

The world could have been falling down around them, but as long as they were safe and happy, it wouldn’t have bothered him. He found he didn’t care all that much at the moment about the concerns that had plagued him before the birth, though he knew they would come back eventually. He felt warm and calm, with none of the anxiety that had been gnawing at his mind for months. Was this feeling happiness? Peace?

He could identify at least one emotion well enough: love. It was different than what he felt for Chise, but no less consuming. Chains of gold and silver had wrapped themselves around his heart. They sprung from the touch of his tiny daughters’ small hands on his own, an unbreakable link that bound him to his newly-born flesh and blood. Instinct drove this behavior, and it was obvious what it meant. They had laid claim to him.

They do not belong to me, he realized. I belong to them. How fascinating.

He had lived for centuries never having tethered himself to any other being. Back then, loneliness and being alone were mutually exclusive concepts. He’d had friendships and acquaintances but felt no obligation to any of them beyond an occasional favor or trade. At the time, he had thought himself content.

When he had acquired Chise on a whim out of mere curiosity, he had not anticipated how his life would change. The connection that developed between them, as slow as it was to manifest openly, was unlike anything he’d felt before. It brought with it many good feelings, as well as many unpleasant ones. Chise’s love was easy enough to earn, but he soon discovered that while love could be unconditional, trust was not. He hadn’t known there was a difference between those emotions until he had betrayed them.

For a while after, their bond was fragile and could snap with any slight pressure he applied to it. It had taken much time and effort on his part to repair the damage he had done, and he had sworn never to do anything that could sever that link again.

But the bond he felt to these two new lives was instantaneous and indestructible, something over which he had no control. He was, for lack of a better term, spellbound.

“I don’t understand.”

Elias jumped slightly at Chise’s soft whisper. He looked over to see that she was awake and staring are her children.

“What is it you do not understand, Little Bird?” Elias replied quietly.

“I thought,” She said. “I thought when they were born, it would make more sense, but it doesn’t. I thought it would help me understand why they did it.”

“Your parents,” He said. It wasn’t a question.

“I thought that once I was a parent myself, I could see it from their perspective, and I’d understand. But I don’t. I would never, ever leave them. I could never hurt them. Never.” She looked at Elias and took his hand. “What they did still makes no sense to me. I guess you were right, Elias. I am different.”

“Yes,” He said, holding her hand to his cheek. “Do not be sad, Chise. That is a wonderful thing.”

She smiled, and her gaze returned to the infants. “You’re right. It is.”

During the first two months, which Chise and Elias used to get accustomed to the new routine of parenthood, the twins developed personalities that were as different as their appearance. Holly was an independent little thing and didn’t like to be swaddled or held for too long, while Ivy loved to be cuddled and preferred to be held by Elias over anyone else. He was more than happy to hold her at all times and soon became deft at doing things one-handed.

After this necessary adjustment time, they decided to have a small gathering of friends over to properly introduce their children. They had invited Stella, the Barley family, Alice, a few friends from the college including the brooding Adolf and enthusiastic Tori, and even Renfred. Over the years, Elias and Renfred had forged a tense acquaintanceship. Chise encouraged them to be better friends, but in the end, she figured anything was better than open hostility.

They had invited Lindel, too, but he didn’t want to leave the aerie again. He insisted they bring them to him instead, which they promised to do when the children were a few months older.

“Aren’t they darling?” Angelica said, looking at Holly sleeping in sixteen-year-old Althea’s arms.

“They really are,” Stella said, now nineteen, as she tickling Ivy’s feet while David held her. The baby cooed at Stella as she did so.

“Ya did good, Chise,” Alice said. “You cooked up some real nice babies in there.” She poked Chise’s stomach, which was now much smaller and thankfully no longer sore.

“That’s a weird phrase, Alice, thank you,” Chise said.

Renfred had been mostly quiet during the gathering. Alice had told Chise that babies make him nervous; he liked kids better when they were old enough to follow orders.

Elias was similarly uncomfortable with so many people in his house at once, and eventually, it drove him outside to the garden. Cold though it was, he sat at the garden table with his tea and sighed.

“Are they not lovely?” A voice said to him from his right. He turned to see a small, child-like figure standing there nearby. She wore a simple white gown made of thin silk and a crown of baby’s breath around her head. A circle of snow underneath her feet had melted away and flowers had sprung up all around her. Her hair was black, her skin like petals, her eyes like the wings of a dragonfly.

“Titania,” Elias said, standing. “You’ve come alone.”

“I have, though I shan’t be long,” She said, her voice belying her youthful appearance. “I bring with me gifts for your little ones.”

“Gifts?”

“Yes. The heartache you expressed when last we met has stayed with me. I felt compelled to do something to set your mind at ease.” She opened her hands, and lying in each palm was a ring carved of dark wood, one on a gold string, the other on a silver one. “I told you your offspring held my favor, did I not?” She asked. “That was not a lie. You need not worry for their safety from our kind. These will tell all fae creatures that your babes are my godchildren and therefore under my protection.”

Elias did not recall agreeing to such an arrangement, but accepted the rings with a bow.

“Thank you, my Lady,” He said. “This is most generous.”

“You must bring them to visit us, Thorn,” Titania said. “It’s been so long since there were children in the Faerie Kingdom. Oberon is dying to meet the new magelings.”

Elias nodded without speaking, not committing to this. He wondered if her favor extended to not trapping them in the faerie realm.

“Be well, Elias. Take care of our sweet robin and those beautiful children. Dwell no longer on the darkness in your past and look instead to your future. Your legacy now resides in those new souls that you created, and not the mistakes you have made. You have been given a divine gift. Do not take it for granted.”

“I assure you, Lady,” He said seriously. “I have no intention of doing so.”

She smiled at him, and the body she inhabited burst apart into flowers and floated away like the seeds of a dandelion, carried away on a sudden wind that smelled strangely of spring grass.

Elias lifted his gaze to watch the petals drift away, putting the charms in his pocket.

Once everyone had gone home and the house was quiet again, Elias picked up a wailing Ivy, who quieted immediately, and sat with Ruth and Chise as Silver laid out their dinner. Chise fed Holly with one arm and fed herself with the other. Once Holly finished, Chise passed her to Ruth to be burped and held out her arms for Ivy, who Elias passed carefully over the dinner table. Silver waited at Ruth’s elbow with a spit-up cloth. They all seemed to be easing into this new normal well.

Elias and Chise took the children to their room and laid them down for sleep, with Ruth curled up on the floor between them. He was better than a baby monitor. Ruth was taking his oath to Elias to protect the children very seriously and was just as involved in their care as every other person in the house. It seemed there was no shortage of babysitters to be found for the new parents, and Chise found that comforting. The nightmare she’d once had of being overwhelmed with caring for two children at once with limited help faded from her mind.

With the children abed for a least a couple of hours, Elias and Chise took this time to spend with each other, something they hadn’t had much opportunity to do since the birth. They sat together on the couch of the sitting room, Chise in Elias’s lap and wrapped up warmly in his arms. She was so tired, she could have fallen asleep if she let herself.

“I’m sorry the party got too claustrophobic for you,” Chise said, twining and untwining her fingers with his.

“It’s all right,” Elias said. “I am actually glad for it. I’d much prefer that the girls were introduced to all our friends at once rather than make many trips to achieve the same result.” Reaching into his waistcoat’s pocket, he pulled out the ring pendants he had gotten. “Besides, while outside, Titania left a give with me.”

Chise took the trinkets and looked at them curiously. “That was nice of her. What are they for?”

“Protection, she said. It’ll ward off any of her kind that would do them mischief.”

Chise smiled. “She’s very thoughtful for a fae.”

“Yes,” Elias agreed. “I wonder if she will extend the same blessing to any additional children we may have.”

Chise swung and looked up in surprise. “You want more children?”

“It's not outside the realm of possibility. We can talk about it later,” Elias replied.

“You're serious. You really want another baby?”

“I merely said we’d talk about it.”

“That’s not a no.”

Elias laughed.

“Give me a year, at least,” Chise said in exasperation. “My body isn’t ready for another one so soon.”

“If you wish,” He said, hugging her tightly.

They sat happily in each other’s arms for the next hour, taking a well deserved rest, until one of the babies began to cry. Elias released her and followed her up the stairs to the childrens' room, where he consoled Holly as Ivy fed. When Ivy was done, they switched. After feeding, the infants resumed sleeping. Before they left, Elias affixed the charms to the wall above their bassinets, the silver one over Ivy, and the gold protecting Holly. The parents, exhausted, climbed into their own bed and fell asleep at once.

Every day brought something new, and Elias was learning so much so quickly. His entire universe had shifted, and thought it had taken time to get used to it, he greeted each wonderful development as they happened with an open heart. He awoke eagerly every morning in his new life, looking forward to what might be.

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[escapewriter]

our last summer

synopsis: in a span of a month, changmin had no idea that this would be the last summer he would spend with you.

pairing: changmin x reader

genre: slight fluff, angst, lovers to exes, breakup au

wc: 3.1k (3152)

warnings: rainstorms

inspiration: leaving, a poem written by jesus papoleto melendez

a/n: this fic is for @sunlightwoo collab, 12 months i loved you. i broke my heart writing this, so i hope ya like it :D and i havent really proof read it so i apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

main masterlist || tbz written masterlist

The storm came.

“You know, you don’t usually expect a rainstorm after a heat wave.” Changmin looked over to where you were sitting by the window, laughing at his remark as you watched the drizzle outside slowly turn into a heavy rainfall. “Well, what’s new with climate change I guess.” You shook your head and turned to look at him.

“Ji Changmin, what would I do without your humor?”

He laughs, gazing at you with loving eyes, striding across the room to where you were. He stands in front of you and leans down, cupping your face in one of his hands before whispering, “Oh baby, you wouldn’t survive without my amazing self.”

You grin, scooting closer towards him and watch him stare at your lips before returning to your gaze. “You wanna bet?”

Smirking, he leans in, planting his soft lips onto yours, the butterflies in his stomach erupting as if he fell in love with you all over again. However, as he deepens the kiss, the butterflies in your stomach never flew, leaving you empty and confused.

We had expected it soon enough,

Ever since the rainstorm, the past couple of days have been a little brighter for Changmin. He seems happier and lively. Everything has been perfect for him, almost too perfect, but he never questioned it and always went with the flow of things.

He opens the door to your shared apartment, setting down his keys on the tiny table by the door. He hangs his coat on the coat rack and walks to the kitchen, his smile shining bright with his dimple showing.

“Babe! I’m home!” He calls out for you, waiting for you to come and greet him.

You worked the late night shifts at your friends bar, so you usually have the day and the whole apartment to yourself except when Changmin comes home three hours before your shift starts. There was a possibility that you weren’t home, but you always remembered to let Changmin know if you were going out due to safety reasons.

“Babe?” He calls out again, worry now laced in his voice. By now, he had set his bag down and grabbed an apple to munch on as a snack.

He walks down the hallway, glancing in the bathroom and guest bedroom to see if you were in there. With his mouth full, he calls out your name this time. The door to your shared bedroom was slightly open, only a tiny crack for him to peek inside. He pushes the door, hoping to find you in there. Instead he sees your pajamas on the bed, signs of you dressing up to go out.

Changmin was never bothered by you going out, but you two had made a promise to always let each other know when you do. This was the fifth time you forgot to tell him.

But he let it go.

Between our love, we had already felt the tremor of its warnings

“What about this movie?” Changmin holds up the DVD case in his hand, showing you the cover and title. He sees you shrug as you play with your hands, mind clearly somewhere else. He put the case back on the shelf and stood up to sit next to you on the couch. He wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “Alright, tell me what’s wrong.” You give him a distracted look as if your mind wasn’t even on earth anymore.

“Sorry, what?”

Changmin sits up, moving his whole body to face you. “Baby, it’s movie night, you love movie night.” He states this fact and you slightly smile, glancing away for a moment and returning his gaze. “Are you okay?”

You nod, grasping his hand as a form of reassurance, though it did everything but ease his worry. But still, he pushed it aside and let it go for now, thinking that maybe you were only having a rough night; hoping that it was only a rough night.

(We were children, once

“Babe, come look at this!” The two of you went back home to visit your parents. This exact neighborhood was where it all started. You look over Changmin’s shoulder, spotting the old photo when you two first met as kids.

You and your family had just moved in across the street from Changmin’s house. It was a new neighborhood for you, so you knew no one. It was a fresh start. Changmin had just come home from soccer practice, his uniform dirty, hair sticking to his forehead, and he smelled of grass and sweat.

“Well, your first impression was great, huh Changmin?” He laughs, taking hold of your hand that was placed on his shoulder.

“How was I supposed to know someone was moving in?”

“Gee, I guess the ‘For Sale’ sign really did nothing.”

You two shared a laugh, flipping through the photobook, attempting to recall certain moments that happened within those photos. It was lovely; Changmin felt warm inside.

You glance around your old house, seeing that nothing has changed as the nostalgic feeling took over your senses. It felt nice to be home because here, you felt half full. Part of you lives here and always will, but finding that other part broke you because it isn’t with the one person you dreamed to spend the rest of your life with.

That night, Changmin thought that everything would be fine — though there wasn’t anything really wrong — and that reminiscing old memories helped with whatever internal feeling you had. Except it didn’t because he knew that nothing would change as he stood by the window in the living room, dreading the storm that rolled in that July evening.

We used to watch the raindrops racing down our window panes, with laughter)

The rain fell hard against the windows of the car. You two were headed back to the city in the storm due to Changmin being able to only take a few days off work.

You looked outside the window as he drove, the music softly playing in the background. Your hands were on your lap as you watched droplets of water quickly move against the glass, the wind taking them to another place. Part of you wished that you were the clumps of water moving. They’re active and have no real destination; they just flow and follow the wind. You felt stuck.

Changmin glances at you, a soft smile creeping onto his lips as he thought of a little joke. “You know, by the speed we’re going at, you can’t exactly think about which drop will win the race.” You laugh, not denying the fact of how he’s good at making you feel better. He sees your smile, now realizing how much he’s missed it.

“I alway beat you in those bets.” You said softly, remembering every rainstorm you two spent together.

You two would sit by the window of your parents house, betting candy on which drop of water would move down the quickest. You were strategic with your picks and focused on the path the drop would have to go on. It’d have to pass through multiple drops in order to fall faster. Changmin never thought this out, he simply went with his gut, but that’s what earned you candy every time it rained.

“I didn’t exactly think those through okay. And besides, I let you win most of the time.” He tells you, smirking to himself as he focuses on the road ahead. You scoff, a surprise and disbelief look on your face.

“Yeah right, you’re just bitter because you never won.” You fold your arms, a pout on your face as he laughs.

He grins and reaches over, unfolding your arms and taking your hand in his. He kisses the back of your hand and holds it tight. You shyly look out the window, feeling the uneasiness that you had hoped would go away. But as you catch him glancing in your direction and you see the happiness and love in his eyes when he tells you he loves you, you feel terrible as you say it back, lying straight through your teeth.

But we were children in two different worlds, a part and now this storm had come, into & between the tenuousness of our bond,

Changmin would be lying if he said that he was fine. He didn’t know what was happening between the two of you, but it scared the hell out of him of what would happen if he asked. He feared that if he said the wrong thing, everything would crumble right before his eyes. But if he doesn’t do anything and just lets everything happen, everything would just slowly fall apart like it is now.

So he made a plan. He wasn’t sure if this plan would work, but he hoped that it would help out the situation; whatever it was.

You had gotten home late from work, expecting to just go to bed with Changmin already asleep. But when you opened the door to the apartment, there were little fairy lights on the floor creating a path towards the living room. You approached the doorway, leaning against the frame with a soft expression on your face.

It pained you knowing that Changmin went through all this trouble to do something so sweet for you. And you knew why he was doing this; you weren’t exactly the best at hiding your feelings when something was wrong. But that’s what you adored about this relationship the most. You two would always go to each other whenever something was wrong and the other never put pressure on the other. However, this feeling was something that you could never talk to Changmin about. It would break him, and that’s the last thing you ever want to do because he’s treated you so well throughout your relationship.

You look at the fort that was assembled on the floor facing the TV. Changmin pops out of the fort, a bright smile on his face. “Hey, you’re home!” He quickly scurries around the fort to where you were, giving you a kiss on the cheek. “I know movie nights are on Friday’s, but I thought we could have one just for today because you seemed,” he pauses for a moment, holding both of your hands in his as he gazes into your eyes, “a bit stressed. So, this night will be all for you.”

You pout, feeling even more terrible about everything happening with you. But instead of coming clean, you nod your head and put on an act of excitement, telling him those three meaningless words.

He grins, cupping your face and kissing your lips. “And I love you.”

And that became the very first time that I needed to be with you, truly

Changmin didn’t know what happened. He couldn’t even think about anything except the fact that he’s pulling out of the driveway on a hot July evening. One moment, everything was fine between the two of you and the next, you told him to get out. He thought, where did it all go wrong?

He pulls up to his friend's house, asking if he could crash on the couch for the night. It was new for Chanhee to see one of his best friend’s stressed out from his relationship, but he knew something that Changmin didn’t.

You worked at the same bar Chanhee works at, and although you two aren’t close, you both know of each other. It was one night two weeks ago, you were talking to a coworker about Changmin; it just so happened that Chanhee heard without you knowing.

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t break his heart.” The sound of distress in your voice was evident. “How the hell am I supposed to tell my first love that I don’t love him anymore?”

Your coworker sighs, clicking their tongue. “You have to. You can’t drag this on because by the looks of it, he’s just falling deeper in love with you.” There was a pause in the air and Chanhee thought that you two had left. “I suggest becoming distant with him and then one day, just snap at him. It’ll give you a reason to break up because it kind of prepares him.”

Chanhee had a hard time processing everything he heard that night; he couldn’t even tell Changmin himself. So seeing that same guy sitting on his couch with a blank expression and tear-stained cheeks over what he thought was a fight, he can’t imagine what he’d look like after he finds out the truth.

“Tell me what happened, let it out.” Changmin let out a shaky breath to keep his composure.

“I don’t even remember how it started, man.” A few tears fell as he focused on the ground, not knowing how to continue.

“Then tell me what you remember.” Chanhee places a reassuring hand on the man's shoulder, letting him know that it’s okay to let it out.

“Okay… well, there were a lot of harsh words said.”

~ You were pacing at this point, the urge to get Changmin out of the house stronger than ever. You didn’t want him to see you cry.

“Please, what did I do baby. Let me fix it.” He begs, eyes brimming with tears as he focuses on you.

You put on a harsh demeanor, gulping before speaking. “There’s nothing to fix.”

“Yes there is! I’m not going to just stand and watch our relationship crumble. Please, just tell me what’s wrong so I can do something.” You burst, the pent up frustration and anger you had with yourself all exploding at Changmin. It was the one thing you never wanted to happen, but maybe it was for the best.

“God Changmin! Don’t you get it? It’s like I’m swimming but my feet are tied.” He holds his tears back at your hurtful words. He wants to appear strong, proving something that he isn’t even sure of.

He inhales through his nose, “I had always felt like I was drowning from the weight that was attached to my ankles. It wasn’t until you moved in across the street when I felt the chain loosen.” He searches your eyes as you try to hold eye contact. “You were my first big step to breathe that fresh air. You saved me,” he pauses, looking at the floor as he finally lets a tear slip past, “I didn’t realize I was making you drown in the process of saving me.” ~

It was the first time that I needed your touch, only your touch…

“Changmin, you need to go and talk to them. Oddly, it rained last night, so you should go in case it starts to drizzle.” Chanhee said as he shook his best friend in an attempt to wake him up.

He knew that Changmin talking to you would do no good considering he knew how you felt. But, it was better for Changmin to talk to you about it rather than hearing it from him.

“I don’t want to, I already know what’s about to come.” Chanhee didn’t know what to say. He only watched him lay on the couch in misery.

“I know it’s hard man, but you can’t avoid it.” Changmin was hard to look at. He was a broken man who knew that his relationship was slowly falling down, like the droplets against the window panes. He didn’t want to face that reality; he didn’t want to know his life without you in it.

Chanhee pulled his friend up, forcing him to look into his eyes. “Look, it’s better to have it done now rather than face it later. You’re expecting it to happen, so let it happen. I’ll be here with my couch when you need it.”

He knew Chanhee was right and he hated that. He hated how he didn’t know you were feeling like this and how he couldn’t do anything to prevent it from happening. He shamed himself for being a terrible boyfriend who couldn’t even attend to you and your needs.

“I know what you’re doing.” He looks at Chanhee, a droopy look in his eyes. “It’s not your fault that this happened. And it’s not theirs either.” Changmin gulps, holding back his tears that threatened to spill.

“It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”

But you walked out, to meet the wind & the rain

Changmin opened the door to the apartment, the air feeling empty as he stepped inside. He calls out your name to which he gets no response. Deja vu hits him as he remembers the multiple times where you would go out without letting him know.

He walks to the kitchen, breathing growing unstable and heart feeling heavy. He looked around the living room, you were nowhere in sight. He walks down the hallway mentally preparing himself for what's about to happen. What he didn’t expect was to see your once shared bedroom empty. Drawers were opened and left empty, your own shelf for personal items was cleaned completely, and the bed was untouched. Tears had begun to fall the moment he laid eyes on the sheet of paper left on the pillow of your side of the bed.

He walks over, head hung low as he grabs the note and sits in the chair next to the window. Taking a deep breath to calm down his broken heart, he begins to read the letter:

Dear Changmin,

I’m such a coward for doing this. This isn’t the way I wanted our story to be. I pictured my whole life with you, but in the middle of it all, I got lost and fell into a pit. I was stuck and couldn’t get out. I felt empty.

It wasn’t fair for how I’ve treated you this past month and you deserve a better explanation for this, but honestly, I don’t even know how to give you one. Because never in my life would I have thought that we wouldn’t work, but it’s my fault our relationship fell. I’m sorry.

As I’m writing this, I always thought that every time I told you I loved you, I thought I was lying, but I wasn’t. Part of me will always love you, Ji Changmin. That will never change. But I need to find the half of me that’s missing.

I’m so sorry that I didn’t do enough. But I know that you will find someone who will.

Changmin held the paper tight in his hands, the tears pouring down his face. He leaned over, elbows on his knees and face in his palms as he silently cried. Behind him, the clouds from the night before lingered, a small drizzle falling against the clear glass. Little beads of water formed, letting gravity take control as they fell down to the bottom of the window.

Without me.

[hiraethtae]

OK so last year my cat died. and she died in a really painful way. like her intestines got twisted and there no way to fix it even surgery for humans doesnt work usually and she died in the bathroom screaming and i just i remember i wanted to go to her but my dad said its better i let her be, that she wont die in my arms. and i hate it and i remember it each time at night i heard her screams echoing months later and i still remember them so vividly and i miss her and i still fell guilty that i liostened to my dad because i was scared and i didn’t hold her in my arms.

and months pass and i start to get this creeping feeling that something isnt quite right at home. like my mom did the bad energy purifying thing but it’s bad, and its in the restroom where she died. the house has no pet in it now and i get desperate and start searching for cats that we can take so the feeling goes away. and i find a cat and we need to wait 4 more months so i wait and don’t use that restroom and my dad i know he feels somethings off because he never used to close the bathroom door before but now each night he does. so the cat comes, his name is zenobio and hes a really good kitty. hes a good cat but he developed this fucking habit of staring into the restroom like their is something there, just unmoving for hours. after like a month he moved to being inside the restroom and me and dad were like “hes probably seeing her spirit” and thats a comforting thought you know?? but it just gets worse because the bad feeling now moved to the guest room next to the restroom. and it’s been months since i started to feel the offness of that room and i told my friend and she of course was like “when spirits die a portal opens, and since she ded badly something must have come through” and im like thanks anastasia for voicing what i didnt want to acknowledge jesus fucking christ. i start to panic obviously because r u fucking kidding me i am not prepared to deal with this shit. and then she says “calm down they usually loose interest if u ignore then it will just go away” and i was like yeah sure ignoring i can do that why do u know this stuff how much weird netflix shows did u watch? I didnt go into that room for almost a year, only to take sheets to change my bed and even that was only for  afew minutes.

but last week. last week i spent a whole day in that fucking room. in the guest room we had a closet with my old toys so me and my parents sat dopwn to organize what to throw out. well i mostly organized my parents wandared in and out the room. so i sat there a whole day feeling really happy and nostalgic because i found toys i havent seen for years y’all it’s like i was relieving childhood all over again and i happily organize and all said and done we swell right??

WRONG. FUCKING WRONG. ever since i came out of that room the feeling of being watched is back, the bad feeling, the feeling that makes me scared and it’s in my fucking room. my cat won’t go in unless it under the bed (which he needs to crawl into), dusya my old cat isnt here to protect me anymore and about a week ago i woke up and my door was ajar and i hear a whisper like my dads voice saying my russian nickname “delya” and i freaked and checked if it was my dad but no one was there and guys i am freaking out because there is a fucking demon in my house or something else, and its in my room now. like how else am i supposed to explain this shit??? i never believed in demons and ghosts and stuff and i watched buzzfeed unsolved for shits a nd giggles but i didnt not sign up for this shit and please help jesus fucking chirst im not even christian im a jew