#i havent been online for a while chat

[minkschasijasi]

White boards save my art career lmao !

[risingsunresistance]

wanted to work on my sketch today but i felt sooooo bad today. for a number of reasons, im sick (nothing contagious) and also i have worked TOO MANY DAMN DAYS IN A ROW !!! i work tomorrow too someone save me

i'd like to actually "finish" this drawing, idk if that means lineart or just cleaning it up a bit, so i dont wanna share it yet even tho it's nothing too special. i'll share this instead

[plutoons]

*dramatically swivels around in my rollie chair with my palms together* mutuals, we need to talk.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

liz 🫶🏽🫶🏽 i understand why you're thinking abt leaving, but i have reasons why you shouldnt. i really hope this brings back some of your faith in us, bc i havent really done much to keep it 🙏🙏🙏

you're VERY talented.

i feel like there's not much to elaborate on this? like, i've been stalking a few of my (now mutual) amazing fic writers and artists for a while, even before i got an official account, but you've always been one of the first.

2. you're inspiring to ALL.

one of the first leon fics that i ever read were one of yours. back when i first got on here, your account was recommended to me first, and im so so so glad that it was. you were someone that wrote leon, and the further i delved, the more i realized that you were really talented, not just a horny teenager looking to get likes. you were ACTUALLY WRITING. and that's so so inspiring because let's be fr, who does that anymore? ik for a fact that a lack of likes gets me discouraged (but that might be my praise kink yapping)

3. your fic ideas are so creative AUGH

honestly? sometimes i wish i could go back in time and just... think of that idea first, because they are always stunning. especially your cool mom's countdown, that had me enamored. i looked up to you and thought, if she could brush herself off and get up, write this and still manage her life outside of writing, i could at least try, right? so i have you and a multitude of others to thank for this, but you for being my first inspiration on here.

4. you're very mature about everything.

in the sense that personally i would freak any time i get anon hate in my inbox, you handle things very well, like a cool older sister (not the one that gets in fights and gets expelled, but the one that's calm and calculating. i've always seen you like that, not an insult, but a compliment <3) having an online presence is hard when people hate on you, and i'd just like to say one more thing

5. you are NOT unoriginal.

i have no idea where the fuck those asks are coming from, saying that ur unoriginal and that ur dialogue is repeated, because it's not???? everything you write is well thought out and precise, even if you hadn’t meant it to come across that way. not to mention that ur blog is one of the very few that i’ve seen that actually has a set theme, in this case, the music! the demos, the singles; a lot of work went into it, and i dont know why the fuck people aren’t appreciating it and instead hating, but lets end on a good note, which brings me to

6. we respect your decision.

this is not to get you to change your mind, please never think of this that way. i’ll completely understand if you still want to go through with becoming an archive idea, because that is always up to you and don’t ever feel pressured to do something you don’t want to. this is more of a response to the hate that you’re getting for no reason, and also just because i feel like i haven't really been showing up, as of late? i’ll always look up to you, no matter what you choose <3

ily!! made my day with this one, sweetheart (i didn't see a name on your blog, so i hope that's an okay name for you)

people like you make me want to stay (and i'm never going to stop writing, i've been in love with writing since long before tumblr), but if i stop posting/post less, we can always chat in the dms/discord :)

the horny teen thing made me laugh bc i was a melodramatic hopeless romantic teen who wrote poetry during class - for better or worse, i feel like poetry being my introduction to writing (and ultimately, what i like most/think i'm best at) shows in the way i write fic sometimes?

i'm happy to hear that you find my fic ideas original because i feel like my creativity/imagination is limited, especially when i'm not into AU's and such (i'm so stuck on making characters not OOC). i feel like this is different from a lot of writers but brainstorming and plotting is my least favorite part of writing, like i love the actual writing things down part and even the editing sometimes! this is such a random side note but i always see posts about people being like "i have an idea but i don't want to write it out" and i'm like omg pls feed me the idea, i would love to write it!

(also, i don't really have a life outside of writing at least atm... which definitely contributes to my whole emotional state rn)

i don't think i've ever been called mature before lol! i'm glad it seems like i'm handling things right but ik it's probably best to ignore anons, i'm just the type of person who won't start fights but won't back down from them either? i also think a lot of the people are easy to clown on lol

the older sister comment makes me want to cry, genuinely bc i am an older sister in real life (to my brother, who is my favorite person in the world) but i've been writing and thinking a lot about how i wish i could go back in time and be my own big sister (not to get too deep, but i wish i could hug baby me :( )

the funny thing about my theme is that i actually feel like it's v disorganized (tho i love maximalism and color and it is v me, plus i had to do a disco theme for miss oranje)

if i did quit this blog, which i doubt i will entirely bc i still want to support other people even if i post less of my own stuff, i would definitely leave it as an archive or leave some way for people to read my fics because I HATE when authors delete their fics, like i totally get orphaning a work on ao3 if that's something you want to do but as much as i don't like some of my older fics and might do a revised version of not old enough in the future, ik that there's probably someone out there who loves that fic and would be sad if it was gone

btw i am trying not to cry bc i'm in the same room as my dad and it would be awkward but "i look up to you" is quite possibly the biggest compliment i've ever received, like that means a lot to me because i struggle with the idea that younger me wouldn't like me now so the fact that someone else finds me worth looking up to for any reason at all makes my heart cry tears of joy

also, you have absolutely been here for me, like every reblog/comment on my fic makes me so happy, and ik a lot of people don't have the time to leave comments and such so it makes my heart smile knowing that you put in that time and care!

[chososcamgirl]

HIHIHI SIGMA ALPHA IYA‼️🤗 SOOO ERMM SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING FOR TWO DAYS… I HAVE A LOT OF TESTS THIS WEEK SO I GOT RLLY BUSY 😢😢 I HOPE YR HAVING A VERY SIGMA DAY 🔥🔥 IM GONNA TRY AND MAKE THIS CHECKUP RLLY FIRE TO MAKE UP FOR THE PAST TWO DAYSS

ITS OKAY POOPIE I COULD NEVER BE MAD AT U 🤗💗‼️ WERE BOTH IN THIS TG.. we are A PACK… I HOPE YOUVE BEEN TAKING GOOD BREAKS THO‼️ BEING BUSY IS SO DRAINING SO MAKE SURE TO GET LOADS OF REST TOOO 🐺🙏💪

OKOK SOOO I GOT MY TEST RESULT BACK AND I ACTUALLY KINDA COOKED⁉️⁉️ I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT FAIL 😭😭 GLAD THO CUS THAT MEANS MY GRADES ARE STILL UP 🆙🔥💪 IM TRYING TO WORK ON A SLEEP SCHED BUT ITS SO HARDD 😢 BUT I HOPE YOUVE GOTTEN MORE SLEEP + STOPPED ACHING

ORNENRNDNF I HAVE PLANS TO DRIVE TO THE MALL WITH SOME FRIENDS AND IM SO EXCITED SINCE ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I WENT TO A MALL (had to restrict myself because of my HORRIBLE spending habits.. 😪😪) IM SO HAPPY WHBEBENEJEEN 💪🐺‼️🔥🤗🤗

ITS ALMOSY SJAP WEEKEND… IM SO PUMPED… KINDA SCARED THESE CHAPTERS R GONNA CRUSH ME… IYA IF WE HOOKED UP WITH SUKUNA.. 😡 HE ENEBSBENEBDB WERE GETTING INNNN THE PLOTTT IM SO EXCITEDD FOR THIS SJAP WEEKENDSDD 💪🤗🔥

THESE PAST TWO DAYS WERE NOT SKIBIDI IM LIKE BARLEY MAKING IT THRU BUT HOPEFULLY TMRW WILL BE SIGMA SINCE I HAVE PLANS WITH FRIENDS‼️🤗 I ACIDENTALLY FELL ASLEEP IN A CLASS AND MY TEACHER TOLD MY MOM WHICH RESULTED ME GETRING MY GYATT BEATEN 😢😢 I NEED TO MAKE SURE IM LOCKED IN FOR REAL REAL NOW CUS MY TEACHER IS OUT HERE TO GETTTTTT MY ASSSSS 😖😖😣😫😔😰 AND ALSO I THINK I HABE AN INGROWN TOENAIL OR SMTHING CUS LIKE IT LOWK HURT ASF BUT IT DONT LOOK LIKE IT.. MY FRIENDS WERE POINTING OUT HOW I WAS WALKING WEIRD AND JTS CUS IT HURTS LIKE HELL EVERY STEP 💔💔😩😩 SEND TIPS FOR HOW TO TREAT JT CHAT‼️🔥 I SWEARRR ITS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF MEEE 😢😢

+ ITS TECHINCALLY OCT.4 HERE (2AM) BUTTT ITS CLOSE ENOUGH TO OCT.3RD AND GUESS WHAG DAY IT WAS…. NATIONAL BF DAY (I found out thru all the stories my friends/mutuals were posting 💔) so happy national bfs day toge 😍🥰😘 PLEASE I NEED HIM SO BADDDD

M-m-mahiTOE…? *I utter in disbelief* n-no… this can’t be… iya…. How could you do this to me…. Why….?? *runs away sonbing* 😔😔 not very sigma… (OK TBHHHH.. UNDERSTANDABLE BUT I FUCKING HAtE THAT HO 😡😡😡 I’ll make an exception for you tho iya 🥰🥰😘😘💗💗

OK IK U LIVE WITH THE KANGAROOS BUT HAVE U SEEN THE ELECTION STICKER THIS YESR??? LMAO I LOVE IT SO MUCH CUS WHY IS IT LITERALLY A PIC OF MY FACE??? IF U HAVENT SEEN IT HERE https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/05/style/michigan-i-voted-sticker-werewolf.html THATS THE LINK TO AN ARTICLE ABT IT BUT JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE I DONT LIVE IN MICHIGAN BUT I WISH I DID SO I COULD GET THE STICKER 💔

ATOD ANSWERRRR… lowk……. Lighting McQueen 🤗🤤 OR THE BLUE MNM… THEY COULD GET ITTT 😍🤤

OKOKOK QOTD UHH A RANDOM HOT TAKE U HAVE SRY THIS ONES BORING IM TIRED ASF AND HAVE MY LAST EXAM TOMORROW ‼️‼️🔥 WISH ME LUCK + GN (morning for u. 😘)

LOVE U LOTS SIGMA 🤗‼️🐺🙏

-🐺

HI ALPHA!!! 🐺

this is the ask from friday or thursday i believe… but i saw ur other one SO DW IM ANSWERING BOTH😈 ITS OKAY!! don’t feel pressured to send one in every day bc i know it can be a lot but just know ur asks are always appreciated and ily <3

YES i’ve been working for the last 4 days opening and closing basically and it’s so customer orientated like ARGHHSH my body is just exhausted BUT I HOPE UR DOING WELL TOO!! the pack must stick together🙂‍↕️‼️

YESSS I KNEW U ATE… the power of the pack manifested together to make you cook🔥🔥 also omg me and u both have horrible spending habits… i leave my room and i drop $300 on random shit but even if i stay in my room i just go online shopping which is SO BAD like ive spent $5000 in the last two months…. oops!

YAY FOR SJAP WEEKEND!!! NAUR ur teacher is a OPP fr like hello there was no need to tell ur mum😒😒 also THE INGROWN RAIL HELP i hope it heals soon i’ve never had one before so i don’t know the pain💔 SEND REMEDIES CHAT‼️‼️ also i hope the weekend is better for u alpha and i’ll use the power of the pack to manifest next week is better too <3 LMFAO HAPPY NATIONAL BOYFRIENDS DAY TOGE

yes mahito… he is my guilty pleasure in a way… IDK HES JUST SO… idk i can’t explain it.. forgive me pls🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ LMFAO THE STICKER HELP😭 NO I LOVE IT I WANT IT PLS

AOTD‼️ my hot take is that lychees taste bad🙇‍♀️ IM SORRY THEYRE JUST SO GROSS😭 LMK URS ALPHA!! ILY🫵🫵

[toasters0422]

hey toast.

how are you doing?

haven't spoken in a while.

Things have been going alright down here!

I've started my sophomore year, joined some extracurriculars, and got really into some other Fandoms!

I havent really had the time to go on Tumblr due to school stuff, but now that my school schedule is settling down I'll probably be online more!

It's great being able to chat, how have you been? :]

[nijisanji-brain-rot-fics]

rating the fanbases in nijisanji en that im in 🤠🤘

also im not hating on yall im just talking about…… some colorful things about the fan communities im in

aight for one, kyomies. = FUCKING -18/10

im scared of like some of yall. like ongod 😭 either chill or so fucking down bad WW like oh god i watched the confessions stream YOU GUYS. ARE SCARY. PLEASE. I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES MY JAW DROPPED WATCHING THAT STREAM. also we needa stop bullying kyo for being the shortest male in nijisanji en lmao hes coping already 💀AHEM… TO ANY OF YALL WHO GENUINELY LIKE ASTERS FEET CAM STREAM… DNI (jkjk but like keep a respectable distance from me pls 🧍✋ yall scare me enough)

kindreds!! = 5/10

yall horny as fuck. all i gotta say. we all know the gwak gwak incident, lets leave it pls. also yall are nice, everyone in chat is pretty nice, yk you get a parasocial chatter every once and a while but oh well wwww 💀💀 ehmmm theyre like the first niji en fanbase ive been in, i have a friend irl whos a kindred, theyre nice yk did not prepare me for the shitshow the online kindreds are

villions = 8/10

i know, we are all probably down bad for ber whenever he speaks korean, BUT CAN YOU BLAME US?? i wanna bet ver is half of his fanbases’ reason to learn korean (can vouch because i started to relearn kr bc of him 😭👌) ALSO HES SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIM!! villions in general, yall r nice, like all i gotta say LOL

sicklings = 4/10

basically kindreds but like twice as horny and mentally ill 💀like goddamn yall listen to his yandere asmrs and go ‘he can fix me’?? is that like a thing in this fanbase? 😭 how mentally ill yall had to be to fall for a therapist [bullying myself rn] like holy shit also that one overlay incident 🫣 lets not talk about it but like anyways yall are ok, its a debatable topic also just wanted to say hex looks like the type of person to have a rice purity score of 53 idk

FaMillie = 10/10

OK SO IM BIASED BC IM ALSO A FILIPINO AND YK SWAGPINOS UNITE BUT YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY I CANT LIE, YOU HAVE GENUINELY MADE ME CACKLE SOMETIMES especially the hugot lines stream, my mom fucking got mad at me for laughing so much some of yall are unhinged like stop bullying millie LOL ik its for shits and giggles but damn, yall are being mean sometimes 😭

Quilldren = 6/10

personally, i havent been in the fanbase too much but most of you guys are chill so neutral score. havent seen too much stir from ike's fans so thats nice, good to know theres one fan base that isnt overtly chaotic [from what ive seen 👀]

scythekicks = 8/10

girl is this fanbase dead or am i just not active on twitter? probably the latter LMAO but like i barely see any doppio fans in the wild like where are yall come out come out you may be outta scythe but you aint outta my mind WWWW we all love doppio in the scythekick household, that man gets so entertained so easily

uhhhh shit ok pls dont cancel me WWWWW IM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE I PROMISE THIS IS ALL FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES im in these fan bases too IM BASICALLY FUCKING MYSELF OVER

also posts are gonna be slow as fuuuck cuz schools starting and yknow we gotta COME IN DO YOU READ ME?-

im just kidding guys dont hate me for this WWW its for giggles so dont take it to heart

i think i did this wrong in so many ways but oh well LMAOO

[mariska]

hi queer friends in my phone i hope u have all been having an ok month so far 💖 im sorry i havent been online very much lately, its like 80% just me being forgetful except to hop on my phone app for like ten mins to browse my dash and reblog something and get distracted by another non phone related activity LOL. my bestie Eli is here still until the rest of the month and we finished our rewatch (their first watch, my like......who even knows the specific numbered rewatch) of Avatar The Last Airbender a couple days ago and that was very fun and exciting, it was wild getting to those last few episodes in the final season and just totally getting brought back to being a kid in my head when the show was actively airing on tv and i was sitting in my bedroom exploding from sheer special interest excitement watching the story wrap up on the super small box tv i used to have like 15+ years ago 😭🫡 we haven't started watching Legend Of Korra yet since we just finished ATLA and need to like. take a lil Avatar media break before jumping into another entire finished series fhdhdhsfsshhgd but excited for whenever we start that too!! Eli showed me a fav movie of theirs the other night called Thoroughbreds and i REALLY liked it, fellow toxic yuri enjoyers i truly cannot recommend that one enough those girls have Problems In Abundance and i love that for them and also me.

OH OH OH ALSO on my birthday after we got home from out of house activities we watched that Nic Cage movie 'Dream Scenario' that i've wanted to see so bad since the first trailer for it dropped online a while back, and i am truly not just being dramatic when i say i think that is my favorite movie i've seen this year and it will be Difficult for another movie to win over that 2024 Fav Spot in my mind, it was exactly what i wanted it to be and MUCH MORE LMAOO IT WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY. very specifically Me And Eli's Kinda Stupid Sense Of Humor throughout the whole run time we were fuckin losing it at every other scene. that was a wonderful lil birthday treat.

also the antique mall we were gonna go to ended up being closed on the day of my birthday so we went to a big mall off-Cape that i like instead and have been to a few other times for past birthdays cus they actually have a bunch of different types of stores with stuff i actually enjoy unlike the more local mall we have here that is 100% dying a slow agonizing Mall Death lmao. went to Build-A-Bear and they had that one bear style in stock that literally just looks like a femme lesbian with the lesbian flag colors and perfect lil eyeliner so i made a Chappell Roan inspired pop star outfit wearing lesbian colored bear (saw someone else online do that a lil while back with the same style i chose so i couldn't resist doing it myself when i saw it was at the store hfsfgsvsgshshdg) and the ppl working there that day were all super chill and friendly and most likely around me and Eli's age or maybe a few yrs younger than us, the person who helped me make my bear specifically was really friendly and fun to talk with cus while we were in there it was pretty much just us and the employees for the majority of the time, he like immediately picked up on me being A Very Obvious Femme Lesbian on account of The Femme Lesbian Bear and also The Very Over The Top Femme Alt Outfit I Was Wearing and we chatted abt being gay and trans while he was stuffing the bear it was such a genuinely sweet and wonderful interaction, he was also autistic and we got to briefly bond over Build-A-Bear being mutual life long autistic special interests of ours and he seemed rly happy to hear that i was turning 27 that day and was still actively wanting to spend birthdays making custom stuffed animals there it was just really great all around 😭💕 also before the mall closed later on we did a quick stop at the FYE store that was there (i always get very excited when i see a still active FYE store anywhere cus it was a childhood fav place of mine to shop but our local mall closed ours when i was a teenager lol) and there was a small stand set up with some ATLA merch and i got a fully functional Momo backpack/crossbody style bag that i am so incredibly psyched about having fjdgedfdhsshfg it is very cute. and anyone who knows me knows i love adding a silly lil functional novelty bag to my collection of silly lil novelty bags. so it will be getting much use from me out in the world

anyways!!! thats pretty much what i've been up to, just figured i would hop on and write a mariska life update so everyone here knows i didnt just like. drop off the face of the earth lol

[sennaverstappendiary]

azerbaijan grand prix ✩ 30.04.2023

listen. i'm going to be real. the reason this is so high up is because it was my first taste of lestappen cr4ck c0caine i'm being so fucking serious. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 this shit fucking killed me. i was unable to talk about anything else. i felt like i had been punched in the fucking gut i'm so fucking serious. 🤧🤧🤧 if you scroll back down far enough you can find my absolute breakdown over this grand prix. i was going BONKERS. getting drunk after quali with my bestie over this shit kinda BONKERS. dancing in the street kinda BONKERS. who needs drugs when you have autism. ☺️☺️☺️

okay lets go back a bit. it had been almost a month since australia, and i had learned A LOT about f1 in the meantime. some very very important things happened, but the most important one is that i made friends! genuine friends! on f1blr! 🥰🥰🥰🤧🤧🌷🌷🌷

i did this by making some rules with myself: if i was going to engage in my hyperfix on tumblr, i should at the very least post my thoughts about it and try to message people. because in all my other fandoms i was just... alone. 😔

to start with, idk how i did it, but i managed to overcome my fear of messaging people first (i was shaking like a leaf while doing it, though), and i somehow managed to message @/verstrapons... which looking back is fucking crazy because i was SCARED and INTIMIDATED and would like... freak out making sure i said the "right stuff" 😭😭😭 looking back this is utterly ridiculous but... i hadn't had online friends in a WHILE okay i was suffering 🥹🥹🥹 it obviously turned out amazingly but!!! i'm so glad we clicked 💕💕 i love you emma... 💓💓💥💥

then i joined the max discord server… i love you guys so much too - i learn stuff every day from y’all and you all made me feel so welcome 🥺🥺🌷🌷 a million flowers to u all… i hope we can meet up at the berlin E prix 🥹🥹🥹

and my lovely bestie @/boxenstopp … my kimi /p… i’m so glad you send me an ask that day on my main blog 🥰🥰🥰 i can’t imagine my life without you and i’m so glad we’re friends… 🥺🥺🥺 you always make me feel so accepted aaaghh… can’t wait to meet up for christmas again 🌷🌷🌷🌷 or maybe we already met. idk when this is coming out 🥹🥹

last but not least… @/xiaoluclair … thank you so much for always messaging with me, especially when we were both more active on tumblr 💌💌💕💕

sappy shit aside.

the other thing that happened during this time? i started realising which drivers i like, which i don’t like as much, and which ships i like and dislike. my top 3 ships have not changed since (lestappen prosenna simi) 😳😳😳 and my tumblr got banned while making a brocedes edit (PLEASE) but it got restored thank the lord LMFAO 🥹🥹🥹 i think i even started my lestappen fic (the first one) during this time‼️‼️ ain’t that something!! don’t mention the fact that sebchal was my first ever f1 fic i will cry 🧍‍♂️/nsrs.

and of course i got to know a lot more about f1! including but not limited to: what the teams actually were, reading the first half of the prosenna book, binging youtube video’s, not quite getting a lot of the references (bono my tyres are dead), what some things on the car do… etc etc. just a lot of general knowledge, although i felt like i didn’t know anything still (well i still feel that way) 😭😭😭

shit we havent even gotten to the race yet. i love yapping 🗣️🗣️🗣️

OH!!!! this was the first time i watched a race while chatting with other people, specifically the ones mentioned above💙💙‼️‼️ thanks for hearing me ramble on about being scared for max always (thats my brand. and he slays every time 🔥🔥🔥)

so, starting with free practice. i still didn’t watch, but i do remember being at my grandparents and quinine texting me that lestappen were 1-2 in fp1? very funny. on the way home i listened to puppy princess and i was like “this is very lestappen core”. lmfao. yeah that changed me as a person for real 😭😭

quali. what. the. fuck. WHAT THE FUCK 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i think i almost passed out. keep in mind, there was a FOUR WEEK gap between australia and baku. i went fucking crazy. when 0.000 happened i blacked out for a moment (/nsrs) and i screamed i was SHAKING i was TREMBLING 😵‍💫😵‍💫 I FELT SICK 🙏🙏 i was happy stimming the entire way to the store (i had to eat afterwards). like that was so sick. i genuinely yelped like a damn puppy (ha) when 0.000 happened. wasnt even upset when charles got pole in the end i was so high on it. and then max kept praising charles OH i felt sick. i felt deranged 💥💥💥💥💥💥

this also happens to be the first sprint race of the season. wish it was the last fuck sprints. sprint quali i just remember me sitting in my brothers room completely disinterested as i always am in fucking spring qualis. lmfao. the real sprint was funny, only bc of the INFAMOUS gax moment 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 hole in the rb19 😨😨😨😨 max angry 🥰🥰🥰 george. 🙄🙄🙄 LIKE THAT SHIT SLAPPED i was mad asf at george at the time tho LMAO 🥹🥹🥹

OHHHH the race itself was ass btw. was genuinely kinda upset after NOTHING GOOD HAPPENED AND THEY FUCKED UP MAXS STRAT 💔💔💔💔💔 post race was great tho. more than great. it was fucking amazing ‼️‼️‼️💓💓💓 we got: max straight up lying to charles (“you were catching!!” <- charles was 20 seconds behind max 🫣); charles sitting on the wrong chair (typical); CHARLES AND MAX SWAPPING PODIUM POSITIONS AND CHARLES BEING DUTCH FOR A SECOND 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ LIKE WHAT. HUH. SORRY?!?!?? sure. whatever 🤯🤯🤯🤯. and then charles RUNNING over to spray max 🥰🥰🥰 yeah that was good. that was real good 🌷🌷🌷🌷

i really did love this entire race weekend so much - this was my austria 22 i cant even lie. thats also why its ranked so highly, which, looking back, so fucking crazy‼️‼️‼️ we got so spoiled with lestappen content from qatar onwards that looking back this isnt even that much but believe me. to maple this was crack cocaine of the highest level 😁😁😁😁💞💓💕💓💓💘💘💖💞💞💓💗💝

✩ song of the race: puppy princess - hot freaks

erm hem.

[meatriarchived]

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙  𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙  𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓  𝘊𝘈𝘕  𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠  𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌  𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙  𝘈  𝘓𝘖𝘛  𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

NAME :  renee! c: ( government-assigned actual middle name fbnskdj )

PRONOUNS :  they / she

PREFERENCE  OF  COMMUNICATION : ims on tumblr was the normal for me cause i never really did disc til this blog but i Am mostly chatting on disc nowadays. i can be slow / notifs may be funky so i always say to not like... get upsetti if i take a bit to reply or i forget to my mind is an actual fog-haze most of the time, time to me gets very hazy and i wont really realize days have passed me by at times so. i ask patience for that front c;

NAME  OF  MUSE(S) : oh hell, we are primarily in Texas Trenches here so...... maria & ana flores, danny [ alejo-osorio, not 'gaines' ugly ass name- ], Mother nancy s.awyer, thomas h.ewitt / le.atherface, our mom luda mae he.witt, elizabeth 'birdie' callaway [ oc ], constance 'simmi' simone [ oc ] + my other trials kiddos.

EXPERIENCE  /  HOW  LONG  (  MONTHS  /  YEARS? ) :  writing in general - since 3rd grade. rping here on tumby - since about.... 2014.....? idk really. its been at last 10+ yrs. ive been in a couple different r.pcs but horrors' typically been such a home to return to.

BEST  EXPERIENCE :  point blank all honesty? these last 2-3 months since i came back. genuinely. like ive had a good share of fun and silly moments over the years yes. but. something about the mutuals ive met coming back from a near 2 yr hiatus to this blog has been really heartwarming to me. i havent had remotely as welcoming or fun and silly times connecting with the actual people behind the blog, behind the muse, as i have here. i never had so many wild out of pocket verses or ships, never had affiliates/mains/etc, never had near as much fun plotting or simply gushing over muses and their dynamics in those 10+ yrs being here on and off than i have in this lil texas corner of the horror r.pc. like the last few years have Not Been Kind in my offsite life, and having a massive writers block due to offsite struggles for those years near killed my love for writing as a whole - not just rping but just. writing in general. and while that blocks still not fully gone rn ( staring my 100+ inbox rn in the fucking eyes ) just? the fact that i feel alot more connected to a point with those ive met here this time around has genuinely made me feel alot happier in these few weeks than i have in quite a while. so far this takes the cake by a complete landslide in terms of best experiences ♡ and much of that is very much thanks to those mutuals.

RP  PET  PEEVES  /  DEALBREAKERS :  look. ive been here a long time. ive been part of r.pcs that have had alot of shit stirred in it. im going to be 30 in january lmao and my offsite life has more than enough of its fair fucking share of bullshit. i dont have the mental nor emotional capacity to deal with the kinds of online pettiness or silliness that has cropped up. ive had more of my share in people who are ma.nipulative, ab.usive, etc that i dont really care to engage with in a space that i really try hard to ensure stays as peaceful and as much of a solace to myself as possible. if you're chill and just here to vibe? then we're completely gucci lol. but i dont respond well in the slightest to guilt trips, or passive aggressive attempts at getting interactions or anything. it makes me wildly uncomfortable - seen it too much, deal with similar way too much w people in my offsite life and im honestly so tired and jaded to it all. im here to chill, chat about muses, go to Texas, just. relax and take it easy. got enough shit goin' on offsite as is let me just have fun here :') like literally just. read my rules, dont push me or my boundaries, let us just have a good time and chill leave the petty shit at the door im begging.

MUSE  PREFERENCES  FLUFF,   ANGST  OR  SMUT :  okay look- FNJKS my go-to, my habit, is always gonna be Angst / the horrors. its been that way for many years. you can ask my offsite co-writer/friend, she's literally been Tormented by me for nearly two decades now- FKJSDA but seriously, it doesnt entirely matter. angst, fluff, horror, etc etc like. i enjoy where the character takes me - if its gearing towards angst? then imma be as heartbreaking as possible. if its sweet fluff? i hope you like cotton candy cause im stuffing an entire blob of it in your mouth like- i just enjoy the dynamics between characters and where that can lead them - and i fucking love the dynamics the pals and i have been cooking these few weeks theyre delicious and i love them all ♡ smut however..... my enemy. nfsjdk its noted already in my rules im not gonna go into it but. smuts only vaguely referenced on a sideblog that im keeping to a very small pool of people im comfortable with so; i over-criticize my writing it & constantly delete/restart it so. dont expect to see me post anything here on main anymore re: smut fgnsdkd

PLOTS  OR  MEMES :  funny how it used to be strictly memes but, ive found myself after returning heavily preferring at least SOME plotting before i feel comfortable just winging it in responses. c; its not required, nor necessary, but it helps to be chatting at least ooc about the muses so i have a better idea of how to write something out.

LONG  OR  SHORT  REPLIES :  OKAY SO LOOK- i cannot begin to say how unhinged my fucking writing has been overall here cause truly? my responses on other blogs used to be so minimal??? read: NORMAL. and yet here i am now in this little corner dishing out fuckin' novels half the time like who the fuck am i- lmao its been so much fun building those longer responses up tho like?? and the fact that ya'll enjoy them so much makes me happy but also i am Sorry not only for the novels in my responses but also my novel tangents in dms like goddamn i dont know how to shut-

BEST TIME TO WRITE :  for me it used to be solely in the dead of night cause thats when all the day chaos finally quieted down but. now for the most part its just. whenever i get a burst of energy and motivation to.

ARE  YOU  LIKE  YOUR  MUSE(S) :  uhh................. if i HAD to choose its like... maybe a gentle mix of danny / simmi / ana? mostly simmi in terms of just. resting bitch face, keeps to themself, idk fnsdk but overall not? really? they got some shared snippets that i do but as more of an overall? not in the slightest i think lol

TAGGED  BY  :   scruffed from across the dash from kels uwu TAGGING  :  literally any of ya'll if you wanna do it too c:

[doomingthenarrative]

papercarm things i will write (eventually) (probably)

- ivy and tigress are being held by acme. paper star and carmen work together to break them out. they definitely don’t talk about how tigress is paper star’s ex, and about how ivy has a hopeless crush on carmen.

- carmen sandiego, realizing water is her worst enemy’s worst enemy, tosses paper star into the ocean on a very. very windy day. paper star nearly drowns, and then nearly kills carmen who realizes her mistake and saves her. they’re both stranded in a cave on the shoreline, waiting for anyone from either side to notice they’re missing.

- carmen wants information on her parents. paper star has never been incredibly loyal to vile, only her own interests. carmen makes a deal with paper star in order to get files on her late father.

-carmen and paper star both attend a ball, trying to steal something. carmen throws paper star under the bus by pretending they are engaged/some sort of couple or vice versa i havent decided

- carmen and paper star chat online, both believing theyre scamming the other while buying/selling a priceless artifact. they wear disguises to meet each other, but both realize who each other are (eventually. maybe after they kiss)

[airabuhan]

recently i’ve been thinking so much about the miraculous ladybug awakening movie (& i highly recommend it to anyone who’s seen the show, it’s a really good rewrite of the show that i think takes the potential of miraculous ladybug and does it SO GOOD…)

(minor spoilers below for the mlb awakening movie and the show? mostly just a rant abt my kohaai mlb au & the movie)

i have a kohaai miraculous ladybug au based on the first few seasons of miraculous (i havent watched past season 3 i’m sorry 😭) so upon seeing the movie a part of me wants to kohaai my favorite scenes from the movie but ahhh… the way that marinette/adrien are characterized in the movie differ a lot from the show (in a good way imo, because the way they grow as characters throughout the course of the movie as a result of their hero personas is SUCH a good pay off) but because they differ so much, i cant really see kohaai in their scenes even though i love it SO much… i have been so obsessed with this movie since i’ve seen it 😭

i do want to redraw this one screencap as kohaai i think but the way that ladynoir are in the movie, they have so much chemistry but it’s almost a different sort of chemistry than what kohaai has? so i can’t really say that it matches? especially because in the movie they kind of gloss over/skip adrien’s conflict with his father in wanting to go to school?

my mlb au is actually very heavily based on the idea that kohaku feels heavily trapped in zashikirou, and that he wants to be free… similarly, adrien in the show (emphasizing season 1 adrien because later seasons adrien is… um. sentimonster… anyway.) wants so badly to go to school, because he never got the chance to? he’s constrained in his role as adrien agreste, the model for his father’s fashion line, a perfect son who doesn’t really get the freedom to do as he pleases. (kohaku also expresses many times that he wants to go to school too, and when given a ‘chance’ to go to school in the bankara scout story, he’s excited and prepares a lot for it with the same sort of excitment and nervousness that adrien has initially when he wants to attend school)

i assigned kohaku to adrien/chat noir in my au because they share this theme of wanting freedom, wanting to go to school, and i think kohaku would find a lot of comfort and freedom through assuming a chat noir persona? like how kohaku relied heavily on the TV and internet to learn about the world, in my mlb au he would get that chance as chat noir, a freedom he really yearns for but for a while is unable to obtain.

and of course, i assigned aira to marinette/ladybug because of the themes of love, hearts are heavily associated with aira and while marinette and aira are pretty different at their core, i thought aira still suited the role of ladybug a lot?

and hhh i put a decent amount of thought into this au (though i was primarily just imagining their dynamics and stuff because i am not touching the mlb lore established in the later seasons with a 10 ft pole 😭) but i think mlb and double identities + kohaai with their online & irl lives kind of suited each other?

back to the movie though, i LOVE how the movie explored their dynamic. THE LADYNOIR SCENES WERE INSANE. i highly recommend this movie for so many reasons but when it comes to their dynamic itself, it doesn’t really read as kohaai in the same way as the season 1 dynamics sort of do to me? primarily because the movie cuts out adrien’s struggle to try and attend school, and it focuses a lot more on his grief about his mother, which is even shown visually with how adrien wears earphones to block out the world in the movie

though i’d love to draw kohaku with the earphones in his ears as well… or kohaku as chatnoir saying that the person under the mask saved him, made him smile genuinely for the first time in a really long time… hfjhgh

but it’s not really the same dynamic because movie adrien and show adrien have two different struggles, and movie adrien is different enough that it doesnt really fit into my kohaai au hhh

still i’m kind of tempted to redraw some of the scenes from the movie as kohaai just because of how gorgeous they were?! and kohaai + the moon is a KILLER combo, what with kohaai’s first irl meeting being under a bright moon…

this is such a niche rant i feel like only a couple of people will understand me but hahhfhg i’m a little insane so

[risingsunresistance]

sorry guys blog is dead im not playing skyblock anymore, side order has captivated me

[minkkumaz]

NO SERIOUSLY!!! like i redownload tumblr just to chat…

AND OMG ITS ALMOST HALLOWEEN!! still thinking abt bonedo dressing up w reader as body guards… do u have any plans?

and oh my gosh recently ive been so caught up danganronpa again… kkokichi u shouldve lived we miss u….

that game is my guilty pleasure. nobody i know irl will ever know abt it so i gotta yap abt it online.

I REMEMBER U HAD SOME IDEA ABT IT… but maybe im hallucinating. kokichi and hoshina both have purple hair this is a sign. WOONHAK GO PURPLE !!!!

-🍉

YEAH I HAD A DANGANRONPA 8TURN SERIES; well, HAVE, i just havent touched it at all for awhile. let alone any fic on my account LMAO

ive always been a shuichi girl so maybe we are meant to be...

for halloween im just trick or treating with my friends!! gotta go while im still a youngin hehe

also body guards for reader is FUNNYY i feel like jaehyun and leehan would love matching costumes the most >< (leehan as ken?!? LOL)

[blissfullybloomed]

Letting Go

October 2024, Ohio - The leaves are in peak season. In case you haven't been outside in a minute. 

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening, whatever time you seem to find yourself reading this blog. 

I haven't written in a while here, life has been lifing. 

If you’re just tuning in…lol, I watch too many Youtube Videos with my boyfriend, you'll love to know that this blog is about my journey, your journey, our journey together but separate through this little game they call life. 

I think my last blog entry was almost a year ago, December 2023. 

2023 was wild, and the previous 5 years were wilder…(hmm, is that a word)

It's funny, I keep saying that 2023 was the year I transformed into some sort of “better” being…but man, I feel like I could say that about 2024 as well. I think that's a lesson I had to learn quite recently actually…being better has no end date. We constantly strive to be better, even on the less productive days…we're still learning(being still isn't our strong suit). Did you catch that? Being better or improving has no end date…nada. The only way it does have an end date is when we stop trying to be better. We all know what happens when we stop trying. It's not a good look. Temporary pleasure for long term pain….Ehh, I'd rather not. So…we take a real deep breathe and blow it out, maybe take another one…and take a step forward. 

Okay, enough preaching…lets chat about so many things…you know I like to talk. 

First topic, lets talk about letting go. I'm pretty sure Ive spoke about letting go before, but I know I havent talked about it in this light. So buckle up…its going to be bumpy. 

We, as humans, are social creatures. Some of us are on different levels than others, but inadvertently we are all social to some extent. Example: Gaming Online with friends(introverted activity/social concept). Another example: The obvious social butterfly who goes home alone. We all have different versions of what social looks like. 

I almost forgot where I was going with that, but here it is…our social interactions are NEEDED to let go. We have to do something different to let go. We have to put ourselves outside of ourselves to let go. 

It doesn't matter what or who it is that you are trying to let go. You can't negate your human nature. It's impossible. No one can sit in a room by themselves for an extended amount of time, and not go insane from lack of socializing. It doesn't even have to be vocal …just another person's presence brings your serotonin up. 

Being social is in our roots as a species. So with that in mind, I want you to ask yourself this question: “ How can socializing help me move past Xcompany, Xspouse, Xhouse…etc.” Well youd get a job, you might meet someone new, and your house may get an upgrade….BUT, all of those things require you to let go of what or who once was. 

You get the point. 

Here's my “bloomed” story. The short one. 

I have faced 2 big hurdles in my healing journey. 

I have reconnected with my mother, we spent a week together, and were cool. As you know, that's huge for both of us. Wild ride getting there…like years long….but we did it, and I think we're in it for the long haul. Weve both done different things that we had never done to make sure our relationship stayed in tact. Even when we both wanted to walk away. I think the biggest thing that really showed me that she wasnt full of shit was the fact that her actions were bigger and louder than her words. She helped a friend of a family member that I NEVER thought she wouldve done….thats dope. She flew back for my birthday with like 3 days notice(I have a flair for the dramatics)...that was dope. She met Zach, and slept on our couch! YEAH! That right there gave me hellllllllla anxiety…but it was dope too. 

So, in all seriousness, momma…I love ya. Life is hard, but without you it would be so much harder. I mean that. 

Second thing, It took almost three years…but I went back to Myrtle Beach. Yeah thats different. So many reasons that y'all already know of why I couldn't go there…I just needed more time or something. OR so I thought.  

Listen, the drive was about 10/11 hours, but my favorite part was the last hour. I drove through a city I hadn't seen in over 5 years, and the funniest part….when I saw it…I just started laughing. 

I couldnt tell if it was my anxiety making me laugh or the fact that I was a better human fucking being entering this city now 5 years later. I think it was a combo of both honestly. I cant begin to describe what that felt like…I'm trying... .I can't find the words. Speechless. Hmm, maybe profound is a word that could describe it. 

Anyway, I knew at that very moment that I could do this trip with no problems at all. I forgot how much I loved the south. All of it, even the heat…to a point. 

What a relief. I let go. I had let go before I even knew I had let go, because I refused to test myself . I was so scared of things I had built up in my mind that would definitely , not probably, happen. I knew I'd run into my ex husband somewhere, in a town full of tourists, and millions of people…that was an irrational thought that dictated a decision I made. I knew, without a doubt, that I would remember the pain of losing my sister as soon as I entered South Carolina. That didn't happen either. I saw shiny roads, pine trees, and the ocean….as she got to experience those things too. Mom was so good at making sure she was included. 

Irrational thoughts and manic actions had in one way form or another prevented me from letting go. Letting go of the what if’s, and just being present. Remembering that I had loved the ocean before I got married or divorced. South Carolina wasn't a failure…it made me grow. I literally wouldn't be who I am today….without South Carolina. So my mom inadvertently helped me discover one of the biggest hurdles I've dealt with since my divorce.  Kinda dope she did that too. 

HA! I said it was short, I lied. My bad. 

Alright, what else is there to update? Zach and I are doing great. I could probably write a whole page about that man…but I won't embarrass him like that. Just know, he is still IT. I knew it the moment we met. Funny…I can't remember what I ate for dinner last night, but I can remember what we both were wearing the day we met over a year ago. Damn, I love this man. 

We've taken some trips recently that were pretty dope. We do so much together…I'm truly happy about that, as we've both said work gets in the way of hanging out. Das love right there. Like actual love. The kind where you both put effort in to make it work. I feel we are extremely lucky , we understand each other in a way no one has ever understood me ... .sorry family…but not even you guys. He just gets it. All of it. I get him too. Our lives intertwined at the perfect moment for both of us. We needed each other, and still need each other. 

Okay, okay…Ill stop gushing. I tend to do that often. 

Moving forward…the thing I want you to take away from all of this- learn to let go better. Learn to let go permanently. Do it for yourself. Think of all the time you're wasting not doing something different to overcome whatever IT is. Be selfish. Choose YOU. You're the only one that can do the work …and honey, its work. Every day. Every decision. Damn near every thought has to be pushing you towards your goal of letting go. 

I want to end with this poem by Stefanie Briar, “ Surrender” 

One of the hardest lessons

Is learning the difference 

Between when to hold on

And when to let go. 

At some point, 

We have to trust

That souls know their way home. 

What is meant for you will find you ….

And stay. 

I think that sums up pretty well how to view letting go. This was good today. I appreciate you taking the time to read…and hopefully youll think of something you can just let go.

[muttfangs]

writing about my experiences w/ an MMO I have a weird relationship with, world of warcraft (musing to myself, opinions are welcome especially from seasoned wow players <3)

so there's a lot… of layers… to this… but I'm mostly going to be dissecting the sociopolitical aspect of the playerbase (and, stating the obvious, a lot of the old concepts and especially horde motifs are incredibly! racist and weird. and blizz hasn't really updated it… or made plans to retroactively fix things to be less jarring… GUESS ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE BUT LIKE… blizz is a billion dollar game company so I don't Fuking Know Why They Havent Yet Man)

anyways, getting into what I wanted to kvetch about--

maybe this is like. just a socially abrasive autism thing like, overall, idk! but every time I attempt to get in a guild thats considered "bigger" (so like idk. 20 active, consistent members) I end up feeling like. very out of place and / or butting heads with ppl in the guild who suck (i.e. post weird shit and I say 'no thats not cool', are a proud ex military / active duty / cop lover, that type of thing) EVEN IN!! QUEER FOCUSED GUILDS WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN

if I had to guess it's because the bulk of WoW's player base is aging. and I thought there'd be more down-to-earth millennials to find a guild / do stuff with that wouldn't be hugely insufferable. but like. mayyybe I was being too optimistic about the playerbase of a very popular USamerican MMO that still has a lot of incredibly racist thematics that have pretty much never been addressed. THE ANSWER IS RIGHT THERE DUDE WHY. DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WILL BE BETTER THAN THAT :,)

it really blows tho, bc I enjoy my "haha silly cartoon MMO". it's well made. Blizz fine-tuned the shit out of WoW, especially with the latest expansion. but the playerbase still kinda really sucks. it's far, far less wretched than in 2016 (… I dare not repeat some of the shit I witnessed in trade / city chat during that year… there's a reason I always have those channels off in every MMO now…) but I overall feel like i will probably always be an outcast in any sort of guild community i attempt to be a part of fr.

the guild prior to the one I'm in really sucked shit and basically was forcing me to apologize for saying "cis people are terrible to me in front of my face at my job daily" and I wouldn't so I left. and then after I left (I said "no I'm not doing that and you should rethink what you're saying to me" and left. nothing crazy or dramatic even tho i wanted to curse all of them out) the fucking guild master DM'D ME!! ON DISCORD!! to further preach and chastise me about how "nOt AlL CiS PeOpLe" and it was so, so horrible and invasive. and I told her off THEN because how fucking dare you chase me into a private message like that after I left

my guild now is at least better than that. but I still just feel like. very. lukewarm. I grimace at a lot of it, and had to block numerous people on the disc server so I wouldn't "butt heads" with weird assholes on the server. but I feel like idk??? I have never had a guild where I feel comfortable and not fucking annoyed sociopolitically at. even in the LGBT+ friendly ones. and this isn't a humble brag?? im not trying to be like UGH IM SOOO WOKE AND TOO LEFTIST FOR THESE PLEBS it's moreso like… I don't want to block half your server bc you refuse to take a stand when your guildies do / say weird shit or are pro-military / pro-cop / racist

I shouldn't have to. you should be kicking ppl out when they do fucked up things. the onus should not be on me to block people.

like idk. I don't want to hang around spineless neolib queers. but this might be the best I can find on this game, considering the sort of like… ongoing cultural microcosm of the game itself. I might have to be a solo player in an online game, which sucks mega bad dude! I love it when I have fun interactions w/ other people while playing online games. thats why I play them!!! but like so far my search for a guild to just feel like. good and welcoming. seems pretty bleak lol

hooooooooughhh whatever idk.

side note: please don't suggest FF14 to me. I hate that game / square enix for an entirely different subset of reasons that I'm not delving into here lmao