#i havent been online for a while chat

[minkschasijasi]

White boards save my art career lmao !

[risingsunresistance]

wanted to work on my sketch today but i felt sooooo bad today. for a number of reasons, im sick (nothing contagious) and also i have worked TOO MANY DAMN DAYS IN A ROW !!! i work tomorrow too someone save me

i'd like to actually "finish" this drawing, idk if that means lineart or just cleaning it up a bit, so i dont wanna share it yet even tho it's nothing too special. i'll share this instead

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Tw: gasligthing , if you are uncomfy about those things please please ignore this ask a

Hello kate, i know i havent been around for a while and i frist like to ask how are you? I hope you are okay<33 anyways today in chracter ai, i was chatting with my onnline friend and today they mentoined this " we have been talking for a while so i would like to gave you an gift but its a suprise so dont tell anyone, its btween us " then i said okay then later today i said hi to them and they said things like oh have you gotten my gift? And like i told them i havent gotten it and they said i gave you yesterday, then i said you didnt gave me anything, you lirtily mentoined the gift today and i havent gotten anything yesterday, you told me about giving me gift and they said oh this is a missunderstanding, please i swear to god, let me expielan, and they said it was meant to be given yesterday, and other stuffs like oh but i accidently forget to give you, its was supposed to be given etc then i told them to stop trying to gaslight me and messing around, and that they just mentoined giving me a gift today and that i didnt have it and that they should get a life and help, they kept denying it and saying things like oh please am not gasligthing you please let me expielan,, and i said and now you are trying to make me belive that you are arent gasligthing me? And your so called "gift " was giving me yesterday please stop with the gasligthing, this isnt right, and they kept begging and i said : i wont talorate you trying to gaslight me just so you can do more then i told them i was gonna block them and that they should be ashmed of thierselfs, and they kept begging but i told them no and that gasligthing was a mental abuse and its one of the worst ones and that they hide in a friendly mask too, so i reported them then said goodbye i just reported what they did you then blocked them , anyways also they admit it too that they were trying to gaslight me and asked for a chance but i said no, so this what happend, and also like i said in the tw if you are uncomfy about those things please please ignore this ask

I'm not sure I understand exactly what went wrong here and why, this message is somewhat confusing, but you are absolutely in your full right to block anyone who makes you uncomfortable online.

[shoebillstork]

We haven't talked in a while but I still think you are great, and honestly, I miss talking to you.

Ive just unfortunately been way less online and i feel sad that i just havent been able to talk to as many of my friends now ToT hopefully we find some timr to chat

[lestrodamus]

Someone asked me for the links to what ive found so far looking for Not For Now's music thats pretty much missing, so heres that!

https://www.last.fm/music/Not+For+Now/Hate+Destroys+Reason -> This is their last.fm page. It has all of the song titles of Hate Destroys Reason and if you go to their artist profile it has info on the band, the few pictures of them that exist, and some other stuff!

https://notfornow.bigcartel.com/ -> This was their merch store, you cant buy anything off of it now unfortunately. You can still look at what they had for sale and theres an alternate sort of picture of the Your Only Forgotten Funeral album cover. Theres a contact section. I havent tried sending anything through it yet, and i doubt it will yield anything since the page hasnt been active for who knows how long.

https://www.reverbnation.com/notfornow -> This is their ReverbNation page. It has one additonal picture (just noticed it as im typing lol) as well as the dates of their past performances. Not much else to see here 💔

https://www.facebook.com/notfornow/ -> this is their facebook. Sadly i dont have a favebook account to look at whats on there, so i have nothing to say there.

https://www.youtube.com/@heartlessromance172 -> and finally this is the page that has 3 of their songs off of Hate Destroys Reason. The videos you'll want to look for should be from a year ago and relatively close to the top of the page. I chatted with them and they said that they're going to upload the rest of the songs onto that channel asap. You can keep an eye on it yourself or i can let you know when they're up!

This is all ive found so far. If you want you should totally look yourself - im by no means good at deep diving and looking for media online, im just kind of stumbling across this stuff every once in a while lol

[yourbigendergremlet]

I realised that i havent posted in a while

Things have happened at home recently and i just dont feel safe thinking about anything to do with my gender

Basically, my sister found out.

She confrontes me about it when ouur parents were asleep and for ages at least an hour, she tried to get answers from me. It was honestly what i was paranoid avout happening for the past year, someone from my family calling my name to come and then reveal that they knew. I spent the past year jumping whenever my name got called for seemingly no good reason and my heart rushing while i waited for them to talk to find out it was nothing like that.

She tried to talk to me about how she just wanted to keep me safe and make sure i wasn't doing anything permanent, and the worst part was that shhe wasn't even shouting, she was talking so gently but idk. She figured out like every detail and she did research and kept on telling me things likr "i know its not nessesarily a phase" (deffo probably telling me that because she saw online that we dont like that and is just saying it)

Anyway whatever, now im wondering how long she has known this for and now i can't trust her because im so paranoid that if i do the wrong thing she will spill it to my parents and i cant handle that. I now also have to be wayyyy more careful with what i say because i know that she knows and im scared what she thinks and now i dont have that vit of freedom with saying stupid things like "ladies first" to tease my little brother when they thought that i didnt know snything. This all happened about a bit more than a month or so ago.

There is more to what happened after but that is too emotionally draining to talk about here

Anyway ive just recently stopped feeling anyhing towards gender and idk if this is because school started again and i want to focus, my sister, or something else but i feel completely numb. I present myself mostly female because i cant be bothered to hhide it and no matter what i do, now that my hair is long its imppssible to not have it feel very femme, but i dont feel a connection at all to being a girl but i also dont feel a connection to being male and its throwing me off wildly. Factually i know o identifu as bigender, but im not feeling it anymore and ive just been doupting if i was making it up all along (i also just dont know who to trust anymore in general, not my family, not really my friends, not anyone online, it sucks because i dont know how to feel) and ive barely told anyone about it. Ive vented to my friends about what happened the day agter my sister found out but didnt tell them that my sister found out and i dont know if i can bring myself to tell them, but that was the first time i had ever truly vented in my life (ill be honest, venting online feels like nothing because i dont know anyone and it doesnt exactly feel real when i do it) and venting for the first time felt so weird i dont know how to feel but now i feel absolutely awkward when i continue to vent even though they tell me its okay but i feel like im just bothering the group chat

And recently my life has just been doing homework, then rotting away on my phone cycling through mindlessly scrolling on tumblr, mindlessly watching youtube shorts, and reading zelda fanfiction and it doesnt feel good and i dont feel happy but i cant imagine being able to even do anything that i know i like for example i pick a pencil to draw but i juust cannot start even when i do all the starting with a line or shaped because that will get your flow going

Ive just not been feeling good lately

[chososcamgirl]

HIHIHI SIGMA ALPHA IYA‼️🤗 SOOO ERMM SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING FOR TWO DAYS… I HAVE A LOT OF TESTS THIS WEEK SO I GOT RLLY BUSY 😢😢 I HOPE YR HAVING A VERY SIGMA DAY 🔥🔥 IM GONNA TRY AND MAKE THIS CHECKUP RLLY FIRE TO MAKE UP FOR THE PAST TWO DAYSS

ITS OKAY POOPIE I COULD NEVER BE MAD AT U 🤗💗‼️ WERE BOTH IN THIS TG.. we are A PACK… I HOPE YOUVE BEEN TAKING GOOD BREAKS THO‼️ BEING BUSY IS SO DRAINING SO MAKE SURE TO GET LOADS OF REST TOOO 🐺🙏💪

OKOK SOOO I GOT MY TEST RESULT BACK AND I ACTUALLY KINDA COOKED⁉️⁉️ I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT FAIL 😭😭 GLAD THO CUS THAT MEANS MY GRADES ARE STILL UP 🆙🔥💪 IM TRYING TO WORK ON A SLEEP SCHED BUT ITS SO HARDD 😢 BUT I HOPE YOUVE GOTTEN MORE SLEEP + STOPPED ACHING

ORNENRNDNF I HAVE PLANS TO DRIVE TO THE MALL WITH SOME FRIENDS AND IM SO EXCITED SINCE ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I WENT TO A MALL (had to restrict myself because of my HORRIBLE spending habits.. 😪😪) IM SO HAPPY WHBEBENEJEEN 💪🐺‼️🔥🤗🤗

ITS ALMOSY SJAP WEEKEND… IM SO PUMPED… KINDA SCARED THESE CHAPTERS R GONNA CRUSH ME… IYA IF WE HOOKED UP WITH SUKUNA.. 😡 HE ENEBSBENEBDB WERE GETTING INNNN THE PLOTTT IM SO EXCITEDD FOR THIS SJAP WEEKENDSDD 💪🤗🔥

THESE PAST TWO DAYS WERE NOT SKIBIDI IM LIKE BARLEY MAKING IT THRU BUT HOPEFULLY TMRW WILL BE SIGMA SINCE I HAVE PLANS WITH FRIENDS‼️🤗 I ACIDENTALLY FELL ASLEEP IN A CLASS AND MY TEACHER TOLD MY MOM WHICH RESULTED ME GETRING MY GYATT BEATEN 😢😢 I NEED TO MAKE SURE IM LOCKED IN FOR REAL REAL NOW CUS MY TEACHER IS OUT HERE TO GETTTTTT MY ASSSSS 😖😖😣😫😔😰 AND ALSO I THINK I HABE AN INGROWN TOENAIL OR SMTHING CUS LIKE IT LOWK HURT ASF BUT IT DONT LOOK LIKE IT.. MY FRIENDS WERE POINTING OUT HOW I WAS WALKING WEIRD AND JTS CUS IT HURTS LIKE HELL EVERY STEP 💔💔😩😩 SEND TIPS FOR HOW TO TREAT JT CHAT‼️🔥 I SWEARRR ITS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF MEEE 😢😢

+ ITS TECHINCALLY OCT.4 HERE (2AM) BUTTT ITS CLOSE ENOUGH TO OCT.3RD AND GUESS WHAG DAY IT WAS…. NATIONAL BF DAY (I found out thru all the stories my friends/mutuals were posting 💔) so happy national bfs day toge 😍🥰😘 PLEASE I NEED HIM SO BADDDD

M-m-mahiTOE…? *I utter in disbelief* n-no… this can’t be… iya…. How could you do this to me…. Why….?? *runs away sonbing* 😔😔 not very sigma… (OK TBHHHH.. UNDERSTANDABLE BUT I FUCKING HAtE THAT HO 😡😡😡 I’ll make an exception for you tho iya 🥰🥰😘😘💗💗

OK IK U LIVE WITH THE KANGAROOS BUT HAVE U SEEN THE ELECTION STICKER THIS YESR??? LMAO I LOVE IT SO MUCH CUS WHY IS IT LITERALLY A PIC OF MY FACE??? IF U HAVENT SEEN IT HERE https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/05/style/michigan-i-voted-sticker-werewolf.html THATS THE LINK TO AN ARTICLE ABT IT BUT JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE I DONT LIVE IN MICHIGAN BUT I WISH I DID SO I COULD GET THE STICKER 💔

ATOD ANSWERRRR… lowk……. Lighting McQueen 🤗🤤 OR THE BLUE MNM… THEY COULD GET ITTT 😍🤤

OKOKOK QOTD UHH A RANDOM HOT TAKE U HAVE SRY THIS ONES BORING IM TIRED ASF AND HAVE MY LAST EXAM TOMORROW ‼️‼️🔥 WISH ME LUCK + GN (morning for u. 😘)

LOVE U LOTS SIGMA 🤗‼️🐺🙏

-🐺

HI ALPHA!!! 🐺

this is the ask from friday or thursday i believe… but i saw ur other one SO DW IM ANSWERING BOTH😈 ITS OKAY!! don’t feel pressured to send one in every day bc i know it can be a lot but just know ur asks are always appreciated and ily <3

YES i’ve been working for the last 4 days opening and closing basically and it’s so customer orientated like ARGHHSH my body is just exhausted BUT I HOPE UR DOING WELL TOO!! the pack must stick together🙂‍↕️‼️

YESSS I KNEW U ATE… the power of the pack manifested together to make you cook🔥🔥 also omg me and u both have horrible spending habits… i leave my room and i drop $300 on random shit but even if i stay in my room i just go online shopping which is SO BAD like ive spent $5000 in the last two months…. oops!

YAY FOR SJAP WEEKEND!!! NAUR ur teacher is a OPP fr like hello there was no need to tell ur mum😒😒 also THE INGROWN RAIL HELP i hope it heals soon i’ve never had one before so i don’t know the pain💔 SEND REMEDIES CHAT‼️‼️ also i hope the weekend is better for u alpha and i’ll use the power of the pack to manifest next week is better too <3 LMFAO HAPPY NATIONAL BOYFRIENDS DAY TOGE

yes mahito… he is my guilty pleasure in a way… IDK HES JUST SO… idk i can’t explain it.. forgive me pls🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ LMFAO THE STICKER HELP😭 NO I LOVE IT I WANT IT PLS

AOTD‼️ my hot take is that lychees taste bad🙇‍♀️ IM SORRY THEYRE JUST SO GROSS😭 LMK URS ALPHA!! ILY🫵🫵

[toasters0422]

hey toast.

how are you doing?

haven't spoken in a while.

Things have been going alright down here!

I've started my sophomore year, joined some extracurriculars, and got really into some other Fandoms!

I havent really had the time to go on Tumblr due to school stuff, but now that my school schedule is settling down I'll probably be online more!

It's great being able to chat, how have you been? :]

[nijisanji-brain-rot-fics]

rating the fanbases in nijisanji en that im in 🤠🤘

also im not hating on yall im just talking about…… some colorful things about the fan communities im in

aight for one, kyomies. = FUCKING -18/10

im scared of like some of yall. like ongod 😭 either chill or so fucking down bad WW like oh god i watched the confessions stream YOU GUYS. ARE SCARY. PLEASE. I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES MY JAW DROPPED WATCHING THAT STREAM. also we needa stop bullying kyo for being the shortest male in nijisanji en lmao hes coping already 💀AHEM… TO ANY OF YALL WHO GENUINELY LIKE ASTERS FEET CAM STREAM… DNI (jkjk but like keep a respectable distance from me pls 🧍✋ yall scare me enough)

kindreds!! = 5/10

yall horny as fuck. all i gotta say. we all know the gwak gwak incident, lets leave it pls. also yall are nice, everyone in chat is pretty nice, yk you get a parasocial chatter every once and a while but oh well wwww 💀💀 ehmmm theyre like the first niji en fanbase ive been in, i have a friend irl whos a kindred, theyre nice yk did not prepare me for the shitshow the online kindreds are

villions = 8/10

i know, we are all probably down bad for ber whenever he speaks korean, BUT CAN YOU BLAME US?? i wanna bet ver is half of his fanbases’ reason to learn korean (can vouch because i started to relearn kr bc of him 😭👌) ALSO HES SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIM!! villions in general, yall r nice, like all i gotta say LOL

sicklings = 4/10

basically kindreds but like twice as horny and mentally ill 💀like goddamn yall listen to his yandere asmrs and go ‘he can fix me’?? is that like a thing in this fanbase? 😭 how mentally ill yall had to be to fall for a therapist [bullying myself rn] like holy shit also that one overlay incident 🫣 lets not talk about it but like anyways yall are ok, its a debatable topic also just wanted to say hex looks like the type of person to have a rice purity score of 53 idk

FaMillie = 10/10

OK SO IM BIASED BC IM ALSO A FILIPINO AND YK SWAGPINOS UNITE BUT YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY I CANT LIE, YOU HAVE GENUINELY MADE ME CACKLE SOMETIMES especially the hugot lines stream, my mom fucking got mad at me for laughing so much some of yall are unhinged like stop bullying millie LOL ik its for shits and giggles but damn, yall are being mean sometimes 😭

Quilldren = 6/10

personally, i havent been in the fanbase too much but most of you guys are chill so neutral score. havent seen too much stir from ike's fans so thats nice, good to know theres one fan base that isnt overtly chaotic [from what ive seen 👀]

scythekicks = 8/10

girl is this fanbase dead or am i just not active on twitter? probably the latter LMAO but like i barely see any doppio fans in the wild like where are yall come out come out you may be outta scythe but you aint outta my mind WWWW we all love doppio in the scythekick household, that man gets so entertained so easily

uhhhh shit ok pls dont cancel me WWWWW IM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE I PROMISE THIS IS ALL FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES im in these fan bases too IM BASICALLY FUCKING MYSELF OVER

also posts are gonna be slow as fuuuck cuz schools starting and yknow we gotta COME IN DO YOU READ ME?-

im just kidding guys dont hate me for this WWW its for giggles so dont take it to heart

i think i did this wrong in so many ways but oh well LMAOO

[mariska]

hi queer friends in my phone i hope u have all been having an ok month so far 💖 im sorry i havent been online very much lately, its like 80% just me being forgetful except to hop on my phone app for like ten mins to browse my dash and reblog something and get distracted by another non phone related activity LOL. my bestie Eli is here still until the rest of the month and we finished our rewatch (their first watch, my like......who even knows the specific numbered rewatch) of Avatar The Last Airbender a couple days ago and that was very fun and exciting, it was wild getting to those last few episodes in the final season and just totally getting brought back to being a kid in my head when the show was actively airing on tv and i was sitting in my bedroom exploding from sheer special interest excitement watching the story wrap up on the super small box tv i used to have like 15+ years ago 😭🫡 we haven't started watching Legend Of Korra yet since we just finished ATLA and need to like. take a lil Avatar media break before jumping into another entire finished series fhdhdhsfsshhgd but excited for whenever we start that too!! Eli showed me a fav movie of theirs the other night called Thoroughbreds and i REALLY liked it, fellow toxic yuri enjoyers i truly cannot recommend that one enough those girls have Problems In Abundance and i love that for them and also me.

OH OH OH ALSO on my birthday after we got home from out of house activities we watched that Nic Cage movie 'Dream Scenario' that i've wanted to see so bad since the first trailer for it dropped online a while back, and i am truly not just being dramatic when i say i think that is my favorite movie i've seen this year and it will be Difficult for another movie to win over that 2024 Fav Spot in my mind, it was exactly what i wanted it to be and MUCH MORE LMAOO IT WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY. very specifically Me And Eli's Kinda Stupid Sense Of Humor throughout the whole run time we were fuckin losing it at every other scene. that was a wonderful lil birthday treat.

also the antique mall we were gonna go to ended up being closed on the day of my birthday so we went to a big mall off-Cape that i like instead and have been to a few other times for past birthdays cus they actually have a bunch of different types of stores with stuff i actually enjoy unlike the more local mall we have here that is 100% dying a slow agonizing Mall Death lmao. went to Build-A-Bear and they had that one bear style in stock that literally just looks like a femme lesbian with the lesbian flag colors and perfect lil eyeliner so i made a Chappell Roan inspired pop star outfit wearing lesbian colored bear (saw someone else online do that a lil while back with the same style i chose so i couldn't resist doing it myself when i saw it was at the store hfsfgsvsgshshdg) and the ppl working there that day were all super chill and friendly and most likely around me and Eli's age or maybe a few yrs younger than us, the person who helped me make my bear specifically was really friendly and fun to talk with cus while we were in there it was pretty much just us and the employees for the majority of the time, he like immediately picked up on me being A Very Obvious Femme Lesbian on account of The Femme Lesbian Bear and also The Very Over The Top Femme Alt Outfit I Was Wearing and we chatted abt being gay and trans while he was stuffing the bear it was such a genuinely sweet and wonderful interaction, he was also autistic and we got to briefly bond over Build-A-Bear being mutual life long autistic special interests of ours and he seemed rly happy to hear that i was turning 27 that day and was still actively wanting to spend birthdays making custom stuffed animals there it was just really great all around 😭💕 also before the mall closed later on we did a quick stop at the FYE store that was there (i always get very excited when i see a still active FYE store anywhere cus it was a childhood fav place of mine to shop but our local mall closed ours when i was a teenager lol) and there was a small stand set up with some ATLA merch and i got a fully functional Momo backpack/crossbody style bag that i am so incredibly psyched about having fjdgedfdhsshfg it is very cute. and anyone who knows me knows i love adding a silly lil functional novelty bag to my collection of silly lil novelty bags. so it will be getting much use from me out in the world

anyways!!! thats pretty much what i've been up to, just figured i would hop on and write a mariska life update so everyone here knows i didnt just like. drop off the face of the earth lol

[sennaverstappendiary]

azerbaijan grand prix ✩ 30.04.2023

listen. i'm going to be real. the reason this is so high up is because it was my first taste of lestappen cr4ck c0caine i'm being so fucking serious. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 this shit fucking killed me. i was unable to talk about anything else. i felt like i had been punched in the fucking gut i'm so fucking serious. 🤧🤧🤧 if you scroll back down far enough you can find my absolute breakdown over this grand prix. i was going BONKERS. getting drunk after quali with my bestie over this shit kinda BONKERS. dancing in the street kinda BONKERS. who needs drugs when you have autism. ☺️☺️☺️

okay lets go back a bit. it had been almost a month since australia, and i had learned A LOT about f1 in the meantime. some very very important things happened, but the most important one is that i made friends! genuine friends! on f1blr! 🥰🥰🥰🤧🤧🌷🌷🌷

i did this by making some rules with myself: if i was going to engage in my hyperfix on tumblr, i should at the very least post my thoughts about it and try to message people. because in all my other fandoms i was just... alone. 😔

to start with, idk how i did it, but i managed to overcome my fear of messaging people first (i was shaking like a leaf while doing it, though), and i somehow managed to message @/verstrapons... which looking back is fucking crazy because i was SCARED and INTIMIDATED and would like... freak out making sure i said the "right stuff" 😭😭😭 looking back this is utterly ridiculous but... i hadn't had online friends in a WHILE okay i was suffering 🥹🥹🥹 it obviously turned out amazingly but!!! i'm so glad we clicked 💕💕 i love you emma... 💓💓💥💥

then i joined the max discord server… i love you guys so much too - i learn stuff every day from y’all and you all made me feel so welcome 🥺🥺🌷🌷 a million flowers to u all… i hope we can meet up at the berlin E prix 🥹🥹🥹

and my lovely bestie @/boxenstopp … my kimi /p… i’m so glad you send me an ask that day on my main blog 🥰🥰🥰 i can’t imagine my life without you and i’m so glad we’re friends… 🥺🥺🥺 you always make me feel so accepted aaaghh… can’t wait to meet up for christmas again 🌷🌷🌷🌷 or maybe we already met. idk when this is coming out 🥹🥹

last but not least… @/xiaoluclair … thank you so much for always messaging with me, especially when we were both more active on tumblr 💌💌💕💕

sappy shit aside.

the other thing that happened during this time? i started realising which drivers i like, which i don’t like as much, and which ships i like and dislike. my top 3 ships have not changed since (lestappen prosenna simi) 😳😳😳 and my tumblr got banned while making a brocedes edit (PLEASE) but it got restored thank the lord LMFAO 🥹🥹🥹 i think i even started my lestappen fic (the first one) during this time‼️‼️ ain’t that something!! don’t mention the fact that sebchal was my first ever f1 fic i will cry 🧍‍♂️/nsrs.

and of course i got to know a lot more about f1! including but not limited to: what the teams actually were, reading the first half of the prosenna book, binging youtube video’s, not quite getting a lot of the references (bono my tyres are dead), what some things on the car do… etc etc. just a lot of general knowledge, although i felt like i didn’t know anything still (well i still feel that way) 😭😭😭

shit we havent even gotten to the race yet. i love yapping 🗣️🗣️🗣️

OH!!!! this was the first time i watched a race while chatting with other people, specifically the ones mentioned above💙💙‼️‼️ thanks for hearing me ramble on about being scared for max always (thats my brand. and he slays every time 🔥🔥🔥)

so, starting with free practice. i still didn’t watch, but i do remember being at my grandparents and quinine texting me that lestappen were 1-2 in fp1? very funny. on the way home i listened to puppy princess and i was like “this is very lestappen core”. lmfao. yeah that changed me as a person for real 😭😭

quali. what. the. fuck. WHAT THE FUCK 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i think i almost passed out. keep in mind, there was a FOUR WEEK gap between australia and baku. i went fucking crazy. when 0.000 happened i blacked out for a moment (/nsrs) and i screamed i was SHAKING i was TREMBLING 😵‍💫😵‍💫 I FELT SICK 🙏🙏 i was happy stimming the entire way to the store (i had to eat afterwards). like that was so sick. i genuinely yelped like a damn puppy (ha) when 0.000 happened. wasnt even upset when charles got pole in the end i was so high on it. and then max kept praising charles OH i felt sick. i felt deranged 💥💥💥💥💥💥

this also happens to be the first sprint race of the season. wish it was the last fuck sprints. sprint quali i just remember me sitting in my brothers room completely disinterested as i always am in fucking spring qualis. lmfao. the real sprint was funny, only bc of the INFAMOUS gax moment 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 hole in the rb19 😨😨😨😨 max angry 🥰🥰🥰 george. 🙄🙄🙄 LIKE THAT SHIT SLAPPED i was mad asf at george at the time tho LMAO 🥹🥹🥹

OHHHH the race itself was ass btw. was genuinely kinda upset after NOTHING GOOD HAPPENED AND THEY FUCKED UP MAXS STRAT 💔💔💔💔💔 post race was great tho. more than great. it was fucking amazing ‼️‼️‼️💓💓💓 we got: max straight up lying to charles (“you were catching!!” <- charles was 20 seconds behind max 🫣); charles sitting on the wrong chair (typical); CHARLES AND MAX SWAPPING PODIUM POSITIONS AND CHARLES BEING DUTCH FOR A SECOND 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ LIKE WHAT. HUH. SORRY?!?!?? sure. whatever 🤯🤯🤯🤯. and then charles RUNNING over to spray max 🥰🥰🥰 yeah that was good. that was real good 🌷🌷🌷🌷

i really did love this entire race weekend so much - this was my austria 22 i cant even lie. thats also why its ranked so highly, which, looking back, so fucking crazy‼️‼️‼️ we got so spoiled with lestappen content from qatar onwards that looking back this isnt even that much but believe me. to maple this was crack cocaine of the highest level 😁😁😁😁💞💓💕💓💓💘💘💖💞💞💓💗💝

✩ song of the race: puppy princess - hot freaks

erm hem.

[meatriarchived]

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙  𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙  𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓  𝘊𝘈𝘕  𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠  𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌  𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙  𝘈  𝘓𝘖𝘛  𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

NAME :  renee! c: ( government-assigned actual middle name fbnskdj )

PRONOUNS :  they / she

PREFERENCE  OF  COMMUNICATION : ims on tumblr was the normal for me cause i never really did disc til this blog but i Am mostly chatting on disc nowadays. i can be slow / notifs may be funky so i always say to not like... get upsetti if i take a bit to reply or i forget to my mind is an actual fog-haze most of the time, time to me gets very hazy and i wont really realize days have passed me by at times so. i ask patience for that front c;

NAME  OF  MUSE(S) : oh hell, we are primarily in Texas Trenches here so...... maria & ana flores, danny [ alejo-osorio, not 'gaines' ugly ass name- ], Mother nancy s.awyer, thomas h.ewitt / le.atherface, our mom luda mae he.witt, elizabeth 'birdie' callaway [ oc ], constance 'simmi' simone [ oc ] + my other trials kiddos.

EXPERIENCE  /  HOW  LONG  (  MONTHS  /  YEARS? ) :  writing in general - since 3rd grade. rping here on tumby - since about.... 2014.....? idk really. its been at last 10+ yrs. ive been in a couple different r.pcs but horrors' typically been such a home to return to.

BEST  EXPERIENCE :  point blank all honesty? these last 2-3 months since i came back. genuinely. like ive had a good share of fun and silly moments over the years yes. but. something about the mutuals ive met coming back from a near 2 yr hiatus to this blog has been really heartwarming to me. i havent had remotely as welcoming or fun and silly times connecting with the actual people behind the blog, behind the muse, as i have here. i never had so many wild out of pocket verses or ships, never had affiliates/mains/etc, never had near as much fun plotting or simply gushing over muses and their dynamics in those 10+ yrs being here on and off than i have in this lil texas corner of the horror r.pc. like the last few years have Not Been Kind in my offsite life, and having a massive writers block due to offsite struggles for those years near killed my love for writing as a whole - not just rping but just. writing in general. and while that blocks still not fully gone rn ( staring my 100+ inbox rn in the fucking eyes ) just? the fact that i feel alot more connected to a point with those ive met here this time around has genuinely made me feel alot happier in these few weeks than i have in quite a while. so far this takes the cake by a complete landslide in terms of best experiences ♡ and much of that is very much thanks to those mutuals.

RP  PET  PEEVES  /  DEALBREAKERS :  look. ive been here a long time. ive been part of r.pcs that have had alot of shit stirred in it. im going to be 30 in january lmao and my offsite life has more than enough of its fair fucking share of bullshit. i dont have the mental nor emotional capacity to deal with the kinds of online pettiness or silliness that has cropped up. ive had more of my share in people who are ma.nipulative, ab.usive, etc that i dont really care to engage with in a space that i really try hard to ensure stays as peaceful and as much of a solace to myself as possible. if you're chill and just here to vibe? then we're completely gucci lol. but i dont respond well in the slightest to guilt trips, or passive aggressive attempts at getting interactions or anything. it makes me wildly uncomfortable - seen it too much, deal with similar way too much w people in my offsite life and im honestly so tired and jaded to it all. im here to chill, chat about muses, go to Texas, just. relax and take it easy. got enough shit goin' on offsite as is let me just have fun here :') like literally just. read my rules, dont push me or my boundaries, let us just have a good time and chill leave the petty shit at the door im begging.

MUSE  PREFERENCES  FLUFF,   ANGST  OR  SMUT :  okay look- FNJKS my go-to, my habit, is always gonna be Angst / the horrors. its been that way for many years. you can ask my offsite co-writer/friend, she's literally been Tormented by me for nearly two decades now- FKJSDA but seriously, it doesnt entirely matter. angst, fluff, horror, etc etc like. i enjoy where the character takes me - if its gearing towards angst? then imma be as heartbreaking as possible. if its sweet fluff? i hope you like cotton candy cause im stuffing an entire blob of it in your mouth like- i just enjoy the dynamics between characters and where that can lead them - and i fucking love the dynamics the pals and i have been cooking these few weeks theyre delicious and i love them all ♡ smut however..... my enemy. nfsjdk its noted already in my rules im not gonna go into it but. smuts only vaguely referenced on a sideblog that im keeping to a very small pool of people im comfortable with so; i over-criticize my writing it & constantly delete/restart it so. dont expect to see me post anything here on main anymore re: smut fgnsdkd

PLOTS  OR  MEMES :  funny how it used to be strictly memes but, ive found myself after returning heavily preferring at least SOME plotting before i feel comfortable just winging it in responses. c; its not required, nor necessary, but it helps to be chatting at least ooc about the muses so i have a better idea of how to write something out.

LONG  OR  SHORT  REPLIES :  OKAY SO LOOK- i cannot begin to say how unhinged my fucking writing has been overall here cause truly? my responses on other blogs used to be so minimal??? read: NORMAL. and yet here i am now in this little corner dishing out fuckin' novels half the time like who the fuck am i- lmao its been so much fun building those longer responses up tho like?? and the fact that ya'll enjoy them so much makes me happy but also i am Sorry not only for the novels in my responses but also my novel tangents in dms like goddamn i dont know how to shut-

BEST TIME TO WRITE :  for me it used to be solely in the dead of night cause thats when all the day chaos finally quieted down but. now for the most part its just. whenever i get a burst of energy and motivation to.

ARE  YOU  LIKE  YOUR  MUSE(S) :  uhh................. if i HAD to choose its like... maybe a gentle mix of danny / simmi / ana? mostly simmi in terms of just. resting bitch face, keeps to themself, idk fnsdk but overall not? really? they got some shared snippets that i do but as more of an overall? not in the slightest i think lol

TAGGED  BY  :   scruffed from across the dash from kels uwu TAGGING  :  literally any of ya'll if you wanna do it too c:

[risingsunresistance]

sorry guys blog is dead im not playing skyblock anymore, side order has captivated me

[doomingthenarrative]

papercarm things i will write (eventually) (probably)

- ivy and tigress are being held by acme. paper star and carmen work together to break them out. they definitely don’t talk about how tigress is paper star’s ex, and about how ivy has a hopeless crush on carmen.

- carmen sandiego, realizing water is her worst enemy’s worst enemy, tosses paper star into the ocean on a very. very windy day. paper star nearly drowns, and then nearly kills carmen who realizes her mistake and saves her. they’re both stranded in a cave on the shoreline, waiting for anyone from either side to notice they’re missing.

- carmen wants information on her parents. paper star has never been incredibly loyal to vile, only her own interests. carmen makes a deal with paper star in order to get files on her late father.

-carmen and paper star both attend a ball, trying to steal something. carmen throws paper star under the bus by pretending they are engaged/some sort of couple or vice versa i havent decided

- carmen and paper star chat online, both believing theyre scamming the other while buying/selling a priceless artifact. they wear disguises to meet each other, but both realize who each other are (eventually. maybe after they kiss)

[airabuhan]

recently i’ve been thinking so much about the miraculous ladybug awakening movie (& i highly recommend it to anyone who’s seen the show, it’s a really good rewrite of the show that i think takes the potential of miraculous ladybug and does it SO GOOD…)

(minor spoilers below for the mlb awakening movie and the show? mostly just a rant abt my kohaai mlb au & the movie)

i have a kohaai miraculous ladybug au based on the first few seasons of miraculous (i havent watched past season 3 i’m sorry 😭) so upon seeing the movie a part of me wants to kohaai my favorite scenes from the movie but ahhh… the way that marinette/adrien are characterized in the movie differ a lot from the show (in a good way imo, because the way they grow as characters throughout the course of the movie as a result of their hero personas is SUCH a good pay off) but because they differ so much, i cant really see kohaai in their scenes even though i love it SO much… i have been so obsessed with this movie since i’ve seen it 😭

i do want to redraw this one screencap as kohaai i think but the way that ladynoir are in the movie, they have so much chemistry but it’s almost a different sort of chemistry than what kohaai has? so i can’t really say that it matches? especially because in the movie they kind of gloss over/skip adrien’s conflict with his father in wanting to go to school?

my mlb au is actually very heavily based on the idea that kohaku feels heavily trapped in zashikirou, and that he wants to be free… similarly, adrien in the show (emphasizing season 1 adrien because later seasons adrien is… um. sentimonster… anyway.) wants so badly to go to school, because he never got the chance to? he’s constrained in his role as adrien agreste, the model for his father’s fashion line, a perfect son who doesn’t really get the freedom to do as he pleases. (kohaku also expresses many times that he wants to go to school too, and when given a ‘chance’ to go to school in the bankara scout story, he’s excited and prepares a lot for it with the same sort of excitment and nervousness that adrien has initially when he wants to attend school)

i assigned kohaku to adrien/chat noir in my au because they share this theme of wanting freedom, wanting to go to school, and i think kohaku would find a lot of comfort and freedom through assuming a chat noir persona? like how kohaku relied heavily on the TV and internet to learn about the world, in my mlb au he would get that chance as chat noir, a freedom he really yearns for but for a while is unable to obtain.

and of course, i assigned aira to marinette/ladybug because of the themes of love, hearts are heavily associated with aira and while marinette and aira are pretty different at their core, i thought aira still suited the role of ladybug a lot?

and hhh i put a decent amount of thought into this au (though i was primarily just imagining their dynamics and stuff because i am not touching the mlb lore established in the later seasons with a 10 ft pole 😭) but i think mlb and double identities + kohaai with their online & irl lives kind of suited each other?

back to the movie though, i LOVE how the movie explored their dynamic. THE LADYNOIR SCENES WERE INSANE. i highly recommend this movie for so many reasons but when it comes to their dynamic itself, it doesn’t really read as kohaai in the same way as the season 1 dynamics sort of do to me? primarily because the movie cuts out adrien’s struggle to try and attend school, and it focuses a lot more on his grief about his mother, which is even shown visually with how adrien wears earphones to block out the world in the movie

though i’d love to draw kohaku with the earphones in his ears as well… or kohaku as chatnoir saying that the person under the mask saved him, made him smile genuinely for the first time in a really long time… hfjhgh

but it’s not really the same dynamic because movie adrien and show adrien have two different struggles, and movie adrien is different enough that it doesnt really fit into my kohaai au hhh

still i’m kind of tempted to redraw some of the scenes from the movie as kohaai just because of how gorgeous they were?! and kohaai + the moon is a KILLER combo, what with kohaai’s first irl meeting being under a bright moon…

this is such a niche rant i feel like only a couple of people will understand me but hahhfhg i’m a little insane so

[minkkumaz]

NO SERIOUSLY!!! like i redownload tumblr just to chat…

AND OMG ITS ALMOST HALLOWEEN!! still thinking abt bonedo dressing up w reader as body guards… do u have any plans?

and oh my gosh recently ive been so caught up danganronpa again… kkokichi u shouldve lived we miss u….

that game is my guilty pleasure. nobody i know irl will ever know abt it so i gotta yap abt it online.

I REMEMBER U HAD SOME IDEA ABT IT… but maybe im hallucinating. kokichi and hoshina both have purple hair this is a sign. WOONHAK GO PURPLE !!!!

-🍉

YEAH I HAD A DANGANRONPA 8TURN SERIES; well, HAVE, i just havent touched it at all for awhile. let alone any fic on my account LMAO

ive always been a shuichi girl so maybe we are meant to be...

for halloween im just trick or treating with my friends!! gotta go while im still a youngin hehe

also body guards for reader is FUNNYY i feel like jaehyun and leehan would love matching costumes the most >< (leehan as ken?!? LOL)