#i haven't written like proper fanfiction in a REAL long time

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Introducing Me.

Hi! I'm Rickie the Storyteller! I like making up stories for fun.

I figured that it was probably time to have a proper intro post on here.

Here are a few facts about me:

My real name is Erica. "Rickie" is a nickname. (And I'm a girl.)

My MBTI is INFJ.

My birthday is 15/09 (so I'm a Virgo).

I'm British. And black. And kind of a nerd.

I love to read (I can't choose one favourite book lol. My favourite childhood books were the How to Train Your Dragon series, and I also loved everything by Roald Dahl).

I love movies (particularly Pixar movies. I think my favourite Pixar film is The Incredibles).

Right now, my two favourite shows are Gilmore Girls and BoJack Horseman. And The Boondocks… and I also love Phineas and Ferb (I always have. It’s my comfort show <3 )

I'm a STEM student (mainly computer science, physics and maths). I particularly like science a lot. When I was young, all I wanted was to be a doctor. I got over that once I found out how long you need to stay in school lol.

I hate swearing in real life, but I sometimes include swear words in my stories (only when I feel like the character would lol. It's about getting their personalities right, that's all).

I am a major perfectionist. And a tryhard. Because of that, I get burnt out a lot lol.

I have the most random music taste lol. I like just about everything so long as it sounds nice (my playlists range from old-school hip hop to gospel/rnb to jazz to classical to indie... right now as I'm typing this out, I'm listening to Lizzy McAlpine lol)

I've always loved writing and storytelling since I was a kid. I used to write in my notebooks whenever I could, and make up bedtime stories to entertain my younger sister when we were little kids. I enjoyed creating different worlds, scenarios, characters and personalities with my imagination. Making up stories is my passion and my escape.

I got the idea to start this blog because I type up a lot of stories and store them on my computer. Some of them are long, some of them are short. Most of them aren't finished… But I wanted to give them a space of their own. I wanted to have a platform where I can share my stories with other people who love writing and reading as much as I do. I wanted to connect with other writers and readers who can give me feedback, advice, and support. And I wanted to challenge myself to improve my writing skills and grow as a writer and storyteller.

On here, you'll find various types of stories (and poems, I guess) that I write for fun or for practice. Some of them are short stories that can be read in one sitting. Some of them are longer stories that are divided into chapters or parts. Some of them are based on prompts or requests that I get from you guys. And some of them are just random ideas that pop into my head. I'm here to share with you some of my original stories, characters, and ideas that I hope will inspire you, entertain you, and make you think.

I'm happy to be here, but it was a tough choice to start this blog for a few reasons - the main one being that it takes a lot of courage to share your stories/creations with others. You never know how they will react or what they will think of your work. And like I said before, I'm a perfectionist. I want the things I post to be good. I really hope you enjoy reading my stories as much as I enjoy writing them.

I want to push myself and step out of my comfort zone. I want to experiment with different writing styles and genres: YA, fantasy, sci-fi, romance, comedy, mystery, drama, etc. Something for everyone. And if there isn't yet something that suits your taste or mood, eventually I'll try and get it there (I haven't been on here very long lol). I've never written fanfictions before, but I wouldn't mind writing for any specific tv shows/movies/video games in future. I'm open to anything! As long as we aren't talking about anything inappropriate…

I'd also love to interact with you guys more: answer your questions about writing or storytelling or anything else; give feedback on your own stories if you want; share tips and tricks on how to improve your writing skills; or just chat about anything that interests us. I don't just want to write stories that come from my own imagination (although I definitely will do that too). I also want to take your suggestions and prompts. So, if you have an idea for a story that you want to read or hear me tell, just let me know and I'll try to make it happen.

If you like what you read, feel free to follow and share with your friends. You can also send me requests for stories or prompts/topics you want me to write about. I'm always open to new ideas and challenges.

Thank you for visiting my blog and supporting my passion. Also, thanks for reading this (if you actually read the whole thing, then you're awesome)!

Stay tuned for more stories coming soon!

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EDIT #1:

My main WIP is a three-part series titled, "Steph's Crew." I have finished this dialogue series for the first book/instalment (which is called, "The Misfit Manifesto").

Here's a link to the contents page -

Here's some more info on that:

I'm working on a ton of stuff lol. Here are a few... — The Internet's Resident Storyteller (tumblr.com)

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EDIT #2:

Here's a link to my Spotify, where you can find all of the OC/ship playlists that I make for my stories -

Feel free to make suggestions on songs to include in these playlists, since I'm always thinking of new songs to add and ways to change them.

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EDIT #3:

My Wattpad! I'm planning on posting more on there, so stay tuned for that.

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EDIT 4:

Check out my Instagram!

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EDIT 5:

Get to know me! Here's a link to my "Meet the Writer Tag" post:

[0cta9on]

Hey dude

Since you had mention in one of the ask about you haven't found a proper story setting to add Gfriend members. I'm curious what you are actually searching for that suits the Gfriend into a story. ___________________________________

For me, How I would write an idol story would be like this:

1. First get to know how's their personality or behaviour or biodata via watching their variety content or fan-made montages or their fan website.

2. I imagine myself on how I would want to respond if they behave with that certain personality.

Let's put this into practice, from watching much Nmixx content. I know Sullyoon would sneeze monstrously and would be embarrass after it. And I find it cute and fluttering that girls sometimes use their hair to cover their blushed face after an embarrassing act.

Then I imagine myself how I would want to portray in that situation and of course my goal is to deepen our relationship via teasing of some sort. Then I create a scene like for example, I joke to her by being absolute astonished for the first time witnessing her manly sneeze from an angel like her. Of course, knowing Sullyoon would be insecure with her involuntary body reaction, I would step in to assure her.

___________________________________

She's rooting for you to be able to create a perfect story for Gfriend.

Hello mikeylo! First and foremost, I want to create an interesting story. Maybe it's exploring a unique kind of dynamic, maybe it's trying to write a type of character I've never written before. Maybe it's something simple as writing a new kink.

I don't do a whole lot of "research" about the idol I'm writing about. In the end, it's all fanfiction and their real life personalities (or at least the personas they portray in front of cameras) are more so inspiration for whatever character I feel like portraying. Picking an idol for a plot is purely based on vibes (If I wrote Lessons about Liz, then the whole story would've been completely different, even if it's all just fiction).

I'm not exactly sure what I would consider a "perfect" plot for idols, it mainly relies on me thinking about something long enough for it to click. Ideally, I'd want something that's fun (to write and to read) and memorable.

[ask-frater-imperator]

// hii- this is the author/mod again, or whatever anyone wishes to call me- I felt like writing some fanfiction for none other than the ran man himself! I haven't written in 3-4 years, so I'm sorry if it's a bit weird-

Cw: talk of possible transphobia, body Desmorphia, gender dysphoria, angst, dead Papas, talk of surgery scars, just standard copia angst..

IF I MISSED ANY TAGS, PLEASE TELL ME SOMEHOW, AND I WILL ADD THEM!!

Copia sighed, still not calm at all from the interaction he just had not even a few minutes ago. He was on the verge of hyperventilating as he took the long walk back to his quarters, the only thing really saving him from not was the rat on his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck..it was grounding for him.

As soon as he got to his room and shut his door, he sunk down to the floor. It felt like his knees had just given up on him.. he took a few moments to regain his breath, standing up and putting his rat back in his cage with his brother..

"I just need time to myself.. That's all.."

He locked his door and put in a record on his record player, he knew he had paperwork to do and probably questions to answer but he didn't care. He needed time to himself for a little..

He went to his bathroom, lucky for him it was connected to his room. He washed off his paints and took off his gloves as well..

"I've had admirers before.. this is nothing different.."

He whispered to himself, trying to do anything to relax.. anything to not face the fear of his own mind. He drew himself a bath, hot enough to fog up the mirrors a bit.. he easily undressed, leaving only the old grucifix around his neck.

He looked at himself, his body.. his face.. all of him. Despite the surgeries, the touch-ups, the botox.. he still didn't feel like himself.. 20 years of testosterone, and you think it would do something, right? Well, yes, it did, but he could only see the scars of it all.. seeing his chest and how the light scars that were there would probably never go away.. the touch-ups around his thighs to make it look like he had real male genitalia.. no matter how much he did, he still had things to hide. He still didn't feel like a real man.

He pried his eyes away from the mirror, throwing a spare towel over it. He mumbled to himself before stepping into the bath, his aching joints loosening a bit from the hot water.. he sighed as he started to relax, resting his head at the end of the tub.

"How am I going to tell her?..how am I going to tell..anyone?.."

He knew most of the ministry wouldn't mind it, they would still see him as Papa. But he knew.. he just knew there would be people who doubted him, people who would think he only did it to be papa, there always was. In all his years he had never had a proper relationship, too scared they would judge him, too scared they wouldn't be comfortable with him after he said anything about it..or anything relating to his gender or sexuality.

"It's fine... this is fine.. i am Papa! I am the face of the ministry! Why would I worry about something as simple and stupid as that?..so many siblings of sin love me..trust me.. I'm sure they still would..and if not then.. then they will have to deal with it!"

He could hear the music fill his room as he spoke, distracting him for a few moments..he didn't want to face his fears, he knew he would have to..but he would just have to be ready. He was papa, he had to be confident, he had to be perfect, he had to be so many things..he couldn't bare to think of what would happen to him if he didn't live up to his title.

"Primo would probably know something.. he would be in his room, reading.. I'd ask him for help, and he would say something wise like 'Just be yourself.. you may be papa, but you are still Copia as well.'... Secondo would probably offer to lend me a few bottles of his wine..Terzo... Terzo would be like a wingman..like on a kids cartoon, whispering stuff into an earpiece for me to say.. for me to do.."

He chuckled at his own words, a smile on his lips as tears welled up in his eyes, flowing down his bare cheeks as they joined the water inside the bathtub.. he missed his brother's still.. he missed being a cardinal.. not having to have too much responsibility, having his brothers around, being able to let loose and have time for himself when he wanted, being able to flirt with anyone at all, on stage and not.. he missed the days when he wasn't just Papa.. he was Copia.

He listened to the music around him as he closed his eyes, deciding to let himself relax rather than think for a while. He mumbled the lyrics to the song as it played, 'California by Chappell roan'..

.

.

.

//Yeah... uhh- I like angst if you couldn't tell- I'm a bit proud of this one, so I hope whoever reads this likes it?.. I guess?.. anyways I hope you're doing okay- have a good night/day/afternoon!!

[missrose-writes-stuff]

Soulmate AU/ Beetlejuice x Reader

-Whenever you lose an item (like a sock), it ends up in your soulmates’ possession somehow.  Warnings: None Reader is implied female [Part Two Here]

You remember when your mom first told you how whenever you lose something it ends up with your soulmate. She had explained this to you when you were a kid crying your eyes out over losing your favorite stuffed animal. She would tell you how when she first met your dad he had the ring she lost as a little girl; along with any other malicious things she lost. While your dad said that your mom ended up with a lost picture of your grandparents. It managed to calm you down as a kid, but as you got older it only semi-frustrated you.

Especially when you lost something you considered embarrassing; such as that one day you lost your bra. You swore you put it in the dryer with the rest of the clothes but it never came out. Now in your early twenties moving out of your parents house you were scared of losing anything important. If you couldn't meet your soulmate anytime soon, it's going to be a long time before you can even get it back.You finally finished moving the boxes into your new house along with the help of the movers. After you thanked them for their help and tipped them you started to look through your boxes making sure everything was there. You start to take out your clothes or begin to organize your closet. Once you get your shoes you realize you're missing one.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" You say to yourself, "Only one boot? I guess my soulmate has my other shoe now. I hope they enjoy it." You sigh and finished putting your clothes away. 

A few days pass and you begin to search for another part time job, something small while you get your flower shop up and running. You find an ad asking for a babysitter on the community newspaper. You answer the ad and as soon as you know it you get the job. The day comes and you drive to the house, it looks very eccentric but the ad did say the owners were artists. It all made sense really, you park your car, grab your bag and make your way up. Soon as you reach the door you knock waiting for someone to answer. You hear footsteps walking to the door and muffled talking. 

"No, you can't scare this one off Beej!" Came a female voice

"Awe, c'mon Lyds! You're too old to have a babysitter!" It was a man's voice sounded gruffy. 

"No! Now make yourself scarce yeah?" The female responded 

You shifted your weight and looked around feeling anxious, soon the door opened you were met face to face with a gothic teen. 

You smiled, "Hi.. I'm (Y/N)... your new babysitter" 

The teen smiled, "I'm Lydia, nice to meet you. Come inside"

You soon walked inside and looked around, the house felt cozy to you even though the outside looked a bit weird. 

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Lydia asked you.

"Yeah? What's up?" You looked at her

"Do you believe in ghosts?" She looked serious

You looked at her confused and thought for a moment and replied, "Well yeah. Would suck if nothing happened after you die. Why do you ask?" 

She shrugged nonchalantly, "Just curious is all" 

Soon the days turned into months of you babysitting the strange little goth teen. In reality you enjoyed being around her, she sorta became like your little sister and you her big sister. Everytime you were in your house you felt as if someone was watching you and in all honesty the stairway to the attic skeeved you out a bit. One week Lydia was sick as you were babysitting her as her parents went out on a small vacation. Lydia was a bit upset she couldn't go because she was sick bit her parents promised her to bring her back some macabre things from a local museum that had to do about death. She was satisfied enough with that result. You were sitting in the kitchen still drawing up some plans for your little flower shop. You manage to get a vacant little shop and it's already going through some remodeling on the inside. As you were lost in your thoughts doodling out the floor plan you heard a thud upstairs that made you jump. 

"Lydia?" You called out standing up hoping she didn't fall of bed. 

Another thud came and it sounded like it was coming from the attic. You take a deep breath and make your way upstairs. You get the door of the attic and stop as you hear three voices talking. 

"I personally think it's unfair that Lydia hasn't properly introduced her to me!" A gruff male voice said. 

"Honestly I think it's good, this way you won't end up corrupting her. She seems like a very nice girl." A female voice replied.

"I just hope Lydia askes soon on what the color of flower shop will look like. I want to add it to the model of the town" A different male voice replied 

You slowly reached your hand out and quietly and slowly turned the knob of the door testing to see if it was unlocked. To your surprise and quite frankly horror it was. You take a deep breath and slam the door open and come face to face with a man and a woman. The man dressed in brown pants, a black and white plaid shirt with a red one underneath and glasses. You turn to look at the woman whose wearing a pink floral dress and plain pink flats. 

Your eyes widen as you try your best not to scream at these two strangers.   

[djmarinizelablog]

Hello! I'm a little curious, I think you've mentioned before you're a data scientist? However, you seems to know a lot about writing and its process. Do you write since a long time? Also, I know that being in the science field doesn't equal being bad with words or being insensitive, but sometimes do you feel that you would like to have a work that involves more of a creative path? I hope I makes sense.

Hi, Anon! Let me parse your ask first into different questions, because there's a lot to unpack:

#1.) Are you a data scientist?

Nope, I'm a data analyst! I handle all the data visualizations and business intelligence reporting for the upper management to review hehe. Lots of people think it's the same thing as being a data scientist, but there are nuances in those two professions.

Both data scientists and data analysts are quipped with statistical knowledge and coding skills, but data scientists focus more on extracting high-level data (decision trees, NLP programming, AI, machine learning etc). Data analysts, on the other hand, are more keen on processing the information through data scrubbing and wrangling. We also deal with configuring the proper charts and graphs for presentations and dashboards.

We ask ourselves, What can we take out of this? What is the data telling us? Did we find any additional insights? What are the trends to follow? Are there any outliers? How about future forecasts? etc.

That way we can make it understandable for the executives to make sound decisions!

#2.) You seem to know a lot about writing and its process. [Have you been writing] for a long time?

I've actually majored in Applied Mathematics and Creative Writing back in college (Weird combination, don't try it unless you wanna lose your mind) so I guess I'm both in STEM and Liberal Arts?

During those years, I've taken a ton of writing classes and attended several workshops, and they really helped me throughout my growth as a writer. I haven't written anything literary for quite a while, so I guess fanfiction brings me joy nowadays. Glad to do it for the LeviHan fandom, though!

#3.) I know that being in a science field doesn't equal being bad with words or being insensitive, but do you sometimes feel that you [would have wanted a job] that involves more of a creative path?

Believe or not, I actually decided for myself that I would choose the science path instead of the creative route. And it's not just for the stability; I also have my personal reasons.

My job as a data analyst requires both analytical thinking and creativity. Rigorous calculations have to be structured and accurate. At the same time, data has to be creatively presented. People should be able to follow the story on how these stats came to be. (Which means to say, the numbers matter as much as the words do.)

So even if I'm not a professional in the creative field, I'm still thankful for all the things I've learned from my liberal arts degree. One way or another, you just learn how to apply them in the real world.

Thank you for this! Your question made me reflect about my decisions in the past :)

Ask away

[orionsangel86]

Super curious: as you've been getting into Spideypool, have you read the Spiderman Deadpool Marvel comic? It's 50 issues, so not too long, it's completed so you don't have to commit to anything ongoing and it's really good and fun! The second half of it was written by Robbie Thompson which is a great bonus!! I have mixed feelings about the ending tbh (won't elaborate bc i don't want to spoil you if you haven't read it) but I overall really enjoyed it and would recommend it!

I'm reading them at the moment! Really loved the first main storyline (the one before Robbie joined) where they fight Itsy Bitsy and Spidey goes dark. I still wanna find and read a ton of fanfic specifically placed after issue 18!! (Maybe this will be what finally gets me back into writing fanfic eh?)

I am on issue 40 now and I gotta admit, i love some of the tropes and very obvious subtext (Thompson was a master of subtext on SPN and I'm pretty well trained to notice it now, whether on TV or drawn in a comic book!) but I'm not as engaged in the bigger story arcs or complex storytelling now which I find a bit messy (which was also a classic flaw of SPN).

I'm not expecting some amazing ending tbh because comic books never wrap up properly right? They just go on and on in their own main comic series. Not that I have any real idea of how they work cos this is the first time I have ever actually read a comic series. My issue with comics has always been that the characters will never really reach an ending, or develop too much, because the whole point is that they are available to use over and over again for as long as marvel keeps making comics.

Like for instance I thought the point of this whole team up was that Deadpool stops killing so that he can be a hero like his hero Spidey, so thats a fundamental character development/change right? It works for the extent of time that he is in team up comics with Spidey, but what happens when he goes back to just the Deadpool comics? Does he stick to his new heroic no killing ways? Or have later Deadpool issues regressed him to his movie counterpart yet again?

(I honestly don't know the answer here but if they didn't regress him again I will be pleasantly surprised.)

Anyway, I guess what I'm rambling about is that I agree that they are very enjoyable for a short time without putting too much commitment in. With just the right amount of subtext and queercoding to keep me interested whilst having zero expectations that there will actually be any proper resolution or character development because I dont expect it from comics to begin with, but thats where fanfiction comes in. ;-)

[myworldmyimagination23]

Hello readers! This profile page is shared by myself,MyWorldMyImagination(MWMI)! , and my friend,MyHeartBeating. We recently changed our profile name to MyWorldHeartBeating! Here is a link to our fanfiction page if you would like to check it out.

Introductions of ourselves:

MyWorldMyImagination(MWMI):

Hi my name is MyWorldMyImagination, I have come here to tell you a little about myself. First off, I am in my twenties as well, and I have dark brown hair that stops at my upper back. I temporarily give foster homes to stray animals, and I currently have adopted two dogs and one guinea pig named Aron. I also work for a pharmacy, eight hours every day; this is mainly the reason why it takes some time to update our stories since we both work long hours during the day.

When it comes to fanfictions, I believe there is no limit to where your imagination can take you, hence the reason for my user name of course. My imagination tends to run wild, all the time. xD I love reading fanfictions that involve Inuyasha crossovers, Naruto crossovers, Bleach, TMNT, and so many more. For me, a crossover has to have good dialogue and a decent story line.

Like my friend said, I like good stories that focus on good romantic development between two people. There is nothing worse than reading a fanfiction where the main character, he or she, falls in love by the end of the first chapter, unless the character already had a significant other whose feelings were reciprocated.

My hobbies include: Drawing, painting, playing video games such as The Sims and making YouTube Videos. If you are interested in my Youtube Videos that focus on Dragon Ball Z, Sonic the Hedgehog and more. Here is a link to it below.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6X-ikl-IRoOSM2sGWMoLww?view_as=subscriber

I also have my own fanfiction page, but I haven't updated it in a while, but it won't matter since I only have three stories on there. In time, they will be rewritten and posted on here. Well I guess that's about it; I don't have much else to say about myself. lol I hope this gives you all a good idea of who I am. :)

MyHeartBeating(MHB):

Between me and my friend, MyWorldMyImagionation, I'm the main writer, though she often shares her brilliant ideas and dialogue that I'm otherwise clueless with. xD Without her help, I might have stopped writing fanfiction years ago.

I'm mainly an avid reader in the fanfiction community, reading many anime/manga fanfics, including crossovers: My favorite and still currently: Inuyasha (Secret of the Divine Jewel, Secret of the Cursed Mask), Zelda (Ocarina of Time, Majoras Mask, Twilight Princess, Oracle of Season, Oracle of Ages, A Link to the Past, Link's Awakening, A Link Between Worlds), Harvest Moon (MfOmT, A New Beginning, Another Wonderful Life, Magical Melody, Hero of Leaf Valley, Sunshine Islands, Island of Happiness, DS Cute), Fushigi Yuugi (Genbu Kaiden, Byakko Senki), Red River (Anatolia Story), YuYu Hakusho, Rune Factory: A Fantasy Harvest Moon (1,Frontier, 2,3,4, 5), Mario (Paper Mario, Super Paper Mario, Super Mario RPG, Mario and Luigi Super Star Saga), Animal Crossing, Mischief Makers, Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon, The Twelve Kingdoms, Escaflowne, and the list goes on.

I enjoy reading good fanfictions with proper grammar and punctuation. As long as the stories have interesting plots with minimal cliches, I'm all for it, just so long as they build on intimate and friendly relationships. Anything rushed in a story I generally feel disappointment.

Regarding my own writing, I tend to recreate plot lines, some with similar aspects pertaining to animes/mangas/dramas and so on. I'd rather not completely copy and paste a manga's, game, book or tv series word for word. Rather than have it be predictable, I like to change it up, leave the readers wondering what will happen next. Sometimes I like cliche encounters, and sometimes I dont.

Genre: (Mature/Fantasy/Adventure)

When it comes to writing genres, I tend to gravitate more towards writing Mature themes, such as Intimacy, Strong Language, Graphic Violence and the appalling Rape. (As a victim who was once sexually abused as a child, I suppose I've become indifferent to it, to a point that when I write it, it comes across morbidly descriptive and has negatively affected and put off certain readers who were more sensitive towards it. I completely understand why they felt this way, but I don't feel I should have to shelter this from my writing; after all, Rape happens every day, and sadly, it's become something out of our control. I'm not saying I write it for enjoyment, but I'm writing it because it does happen. For me, I can't simply write about beautiful sunsets, rainbows and unicorns. I want to write in a realistic fashion. I want to write what's true, but also keep true to my other favorite genre, Fantasy. A little bit of fantasy mixed with the real world.)

Links to our other web pages:

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2767541/MyWorldHeartBeating

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyWorldHeartBeating

https://www.wattpad.com/user/MyHeartBeatingMWMI

https://www.deviantart.com/leonio

[interestsofabookwormbitch]

Review

Ok, I've had time to collect my thoughts, and now I shall review my opinions on ASOTM. This will obviously have spoilers for the fic, and also, I didn't take any notes, so this won't be professional.

First of all I want to say I don't how well the representation is, and I will never be able to say that because I myself am mentally...sound? Not quite healthy, but good enough. Anyway, I did read through the comments on AO3, and the only mentally ill people to comment that I seen had said it was really good. I also do not want to really discuss this point with anyone who is neurotypical and completely unaffected by the issues of the story. Sorry, but your opinion on the matter is likely based of off your own assumptions, and I don't want to base my own opinion off of that.

Now that that's out of the way

I fucking loved it. I also fucking hated it. It fucking destroyed me. Like I said in another post, I wrote depressed poem because of it. So I guess I'm saying it gets a 10/10 on emotional investement. Seriously, it had me fucking bawling for half an hour, and I had it on my mind all day today. I just, I still feel it in my heart. You know how your heart feels heavier for some reason when something is above the normal amount of upsetting? Maybe that's just a me thing. Anyway, that's how I felt all day when I would think about it. I think that's a sign of genius fucking writing.

Honestly the writing was so fucking amazing. I felt so many emotions just from how it was written. Some lines that should have been cheesy weren't, and the descriptions. Like, I haven't been afraid of needles for a long time now (an incident from grade 7), but that blood work scene made me squirm (of course because of the ship it was kind of from cuteness too). Or when Bert and Gerard fought. I do have a squeamishness to blood, and I don't know how or why, but how she wrote made me picture bleeding more vividly than anything else I've read.

Also, this was written in first person. That's fucking hard to do. And, being 100% honest, is usually pretty cringy in fanfiction. But it was executed fan-fucking-tastically. Like, the story would not have been nearly as good written in third person. It was just amazing.

Gerard's whole inner monologues were usually pretty good too. And I only say usually because I don't want to say the ones that made me tear up were good (they were, but I refuse to acknowledge that). Also, his illness did feel real. I sympathised so fucking much. And there were times when he was getting better. He'd stop refusing treatement, but then something would happen. Fuck, I feel like if he could have stayed at Bluestone he might have actually healed now. Might have gotten better, but I don't even know. I don't even fucking know if they were real or not. Sometimes it seemed like they really were. But he could have gotten better. He was smart, he was good. He just needed someone looking out for him. Someone to convince him.

I'm fucking crying again. Fuck me. Fuck me and this fucking story. I need to move on. Fuck.

Ok, let's go to Frank. His characterization felt so real to me. Like he was slowly being healed, slowly getting better. It took time, and that was realistic. He went to court at the end. He testifies. I'm so proud. I'm so fucking proud.

Fuck. I'm back to fucking crying. This point on will a fucking mess. My thoughts are scattering because of my pain.

Frank and Gerard. Fuck this will be the death of me. I need to get it out of the fucking way. It was amazing to watch. It grew and bloomed so beautifully. So naturally. It was bumpy at times, but it was real. It was so fucking real. Gerard fixed Frank like he set out to do, and I feel like if they were given the proper time Frank could have helped fix Gerard too. But it was too late. They didn't even get a real fucking good bye. Fuck me. That hallucination of Frank. Fuck fuck fuck. I can't. I'm literally writing my thoughts as they come now. But fuck. Why couldn't Frank have actually said it? Why didn't he get to? It kills me. It fucking kills me. And how protective Gerard was of him. Everything that was going wrong Gerard would try and fix. And he did. Despite his mental state he saved Frank. Fuck I don't even like smut that much, but even that was fucking perfect. The struggles. The care. They loved each other. And I can't fucking deal with this shit.

Let's move on to Mikey. Fucking Mikey. I'm fucking crying harder now. Poor fucking Mikey. Poor poor Mikey. He didn't deserve that, and Gerard didn't mean to. It was all a tragic fucking accident. But their both gone now. Both of them are fucking gone.

The really shitty thing is, since I don't completely know if they are real or not, I don't know if Gerard got to go to an afterlife. Usually I believe there is one. I'm not religious, but I believe that. Usually I can comfort myself and say everyone meets there eventually. Except I can't say that. This really is fucking with my head. If they are real then they wouldn t let move on. Fuck if that epilogue wasn t written how it was then I wouldn t be so unsure. But it was written that way. It fucking was, and it fucked with me real good. Real fucking good.

I did love Markman though. I first I thought I'd hate her. Thought she was bitch, but was really trying. She really fucking tried. She tried. But she couldn't save him. If only he listened and took his pills. Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. This isn't going well at all. I promise I fucking loved this story to bits. I really did. Really do. But it tore my fucking heart out and fucking carved it shreds. Fuck.

At least Ray and Bob were pure. They were the only purely happy things about the fic. Everything else makes me want to fucking cry thinking about.

But everything in it makes me want to reread. Why the fuck am I like this? Fuck. I cried harder over this than Endgame. 100%. Fuck me.

Overall I'll give it 9.5/10. Anything that makes me cry so much deserves a good rating. Only really downside is a fucking open fucking ending. Fuck are they real or not? I need to fucking know.

Also:

This is how much I cried just writing the review. I'm gonna go read something happy now. I need it. Like, I really fucking need it.

[sogno-ao3]

agreed! also, as an obedient daughter, she's grown up accustomed to listening to others; if she does have feelings, it's not relevant--whereas now working for Tommy, in a twisted way, she has a measure of autonomy, and is trying to navigate making her own decisions for the first time.

tommy pushes her in a way that she has to speak out and be bold in order not to be swallowed up by him completely? the circumstances that she encounters BECAUSE of him made her think and question of the way she lives, the way she sees, and the way she feels as she navigates a world outside her community; her bubble— it's just a wild ride experiencing that with mollie.

unrelated but it popped in my heard but during the chapter in which she joins the family meeting all i wanted to do is hug her? it's not explicitly said or described but i felt the prejudice and the alienation that she felt being the only asian person in the room. it's something i've felt before and i know how it feels and it made mollie's frustrations so much more real. "We trust your judgment, and it's not like she could become part of the family proper anyway." i legitimately started tearing up for mollie? like uGH I JUST WKDKWKS. i hope tommy caught on that and see firsthand the shit that mollie probably has to go through in a daily basis. that comment made me see how far apart mollie and tommy's world truly is— economically, personally, and societally.

also 👀 on the tag "feminist themes"

the potentiality of tommy being heartbroken and dumped by mollie? we love that! tommy should have a taste of his medicine honestly and mollie is the perfect girl for that!

never been this passionate about a piece of fanfiction and it's main protagonist in a long time and thank you for bringing back that magic <33

— 🐯 anon

hi again, 🐯!

right? I feel like the more insidious, indirect jabs really hurt the most.

I think a lot of people feel the same way you do! one thing I've noticed is that I have a comparatively lower word count to kudos ratio (about 66), which I personally interpret as people really being engaged even though I haven't written that much yet! and no smut even! I've read on r/fanfiction that once the smut gets put up, the kudos/comments/etc rocket up, I'm really curious if that will happen to this work lol