#i haven't worn heels for an entire night in so long can you tell

[mashmouths]

i <3 lying down i <3 being horizontal i <3 having the least possible amount of pressure on my feet

[emeralddaydream]

𝙸𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝙸𝚜 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝙾𝚏?

Kit x GN!Reader

Rating: General

Word Count: 2848

Warnings: None, just lots of fluff✨

Requested by Anon: Mayhaps prompt 84 (“No, Mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!��) with Kit Walker, but instead he's talking to Jude, Thomas, and Julia. Kit had been dating you for a while and he accidentally had let it slip that he loves you to his family (they all tease him about it constantly). You were planning on visiting later (so everyone could go to the park together or do some other adorable activity) and Kit just knows that someone is going to tell you, and he is trying desperately to avoid that

A/N: Okay, firstly, anon, thank you so much for your lovely message. I haven't been too kind to myself lately (workin' on it), so I really appreciate you being so understanding💜

I kind of went off the rails with this one, and it doesn't actually include the prompt sentence, and the prompt itself is a lil different, but same basic idea, I think... I really hope you like it!!

Also, Jude is healthy bc I refuse to make this angsty.

The title comes from 'I Think I Love You' by The Partridge Family, and on that note, I'm also dedicating this to one of my favorite humans. She's not really into AHS, but David Cassidy is her mans, so Sierra, this one's for you!! Thank you for always being a wonderful friend💜💕

“Jude, I need your help.”

In general, Kit Walker considers himself to be a pretty easy-going guy; usually, there isn't much that gets to him. But today’s different. There’s something that he’s simultaneously ecstatic about and dreading.

Today's the day you’ll be meeting his family for the first time.

“With?” Jude’s smirking amusedly where she sits across from him at the kitchen table sorting dish ware and arranging it carefully in the picnic basket in front of her. Kit glances at the clock on the wall and sighs; he's got just over an hour before he, Jude and the kids are supposed to meet you at the park, and he couldn’t be much more anxious about it if he tried... Not for nothing, though.

“I just wanna make sure today goes well.” He finishes wrapping the sandwich in his hand, placing it in the basket to join the plates.

“And you don’t think it will?” Jude raises an eyebrow; she may be a particularly perceptive woman, but it isn't very difficult to see that there's something Kit isn't saying.

His mind drifts for a moment to the other night, when he and Jude sat in the living room, chatting quietly after the kids had gone to sleep. She’d asked about you, and before Kit knew it, he was spilling his guts to her, finally speaking the words he’s been unable to say to you. It’d felt amazing to finally get them out... until he noticed Julia peaking around the door frame, brown eyes trained on he and Jude She scurried off, giggling quietly down the hall, and when he asked her about it the next day, it was clear to Kit that his daughter had heard the entire conversation. And it didn’t need to be said that she had told Thomas; the two of them have never kept anything from each other in their lives…

“I hope it does.” Kit replies after several moments of silence. He’s not at all concerned about whether or not you’ll get along with his family. There’s no doubt in his mind that Jude will be taken, and the kids are going to adore you. “I just need help makin’ sure they don’t say anything.” He glances toward the two small figures in the next room where they lie on the floor, markers in hand as they draw colorful pictures and fill out puzzles from the day-old newspaper Jude had provided to keep them occupied.

“About?” Jude's smirk grows into a playful grin. She’s having fun with this; a little too much, in Kit’s opinion. He scowls and she laughs quietly.

“About... y’know?”

“About how you love them?” Jude’s voice carries into the next room a bit too loudly for Kit’s liking, and his eyes go wide. He places a finger to his lips, eyes darting to the children to make sure they’re still distracted; so far, so good.

“Yes.”

“Well, when are you going to tell her? You’re not getting any younger, y’know.” Kit's unable to stop the smile that breaks across his face.

“Soon. I just… need to find the right moment.”

“There’s no such thing as the right moment, Walker," she chortles, rolling a bundle of silverware into a napkin. “But…I’ll do my best.” Kit smiles gratefully, but she shakes her head continuing. “But they’re kids. Kids'll say whatever they want to.” Knowing she's right, Kit groans, running a hand through his hair before feeling around in the pocket of his jeans for his pack of cigarettes.

He's in for an interesting day.

——

The worn wood of the bench feels rough under your fingers as you tap against it anxiously. You take a quick peak to your right again, in search of the vehicle you’re waiting for. It’s a big day. In just- you glance down at your watch for the fifth time – two and a half minutes, your boyfriend is supposed to arrive with his family.

It terrifies you.

It’s not that you have any issues with kids. You love them. Becoming a parent has always been a part of the plan for you. However, you don’t have much experience with them and, this is the first time you’ve ever been with someone with children of their own. It’s... intimidating.

Kit, however, has been nothing but reassuring. A small smile crosses your face, thinking of the last thing he’d said to you when he'd called last night. Don’t worry, babe. They’re gonna love you.

God, you hope he’s right.

Kit’s told you so much about his kids over the last several months the two of you have been together, and you can tell by the warmth in his voice, by the way his eyes light up when he tells you something funny one of them did, that they are his world. As they should be. You wouldn’t want it any other way.

There's absolutely no doubt in your mind that you've fallen head over heels for this man... That’s what's so frightening; you don’t want to screw anything up. For anyone's sake.

You’re in the middle of reciting some of the things Kit had told you about the kids- ‘Julia’s really into football right now, a little chatterbox, and Thomas loves readin’, but he’s pretty shy’- when you hear tires making their way along the narrow dirt road. Turning your head again, your stomach flips when you see the familiar station wagon- much fuller with people than normal- pull into the small parking lot. You smile, raising your hand in a wave when Kit sees you, and swallow hard.

The driver’s door quickly opens, and Kit makes his way over, basket in hand. The passenger, Jude, stays behind to help the kids out of their seats.

“Hey, you.” Kit murmurs, a smile on his face as he leans down to press a tender kiss to your cheek.

“Hi.” With a shaky breath, you take your bottom lip between your teeth when he pulls back. With a sympathetic smile, Kit takes your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“They’re gonna love you,” he reminds, and you huff a laugh. Julia begins speaking excitedly as she hops out of the car; you can’t make out what she’s saying, but she sounds enthusiastic, so you’re taking that as a good sign.

“If you say so.” You grip his hand more tightly and he chuckles as the two of you make your way toward the sound of the animated voice.

Now or never.

“Y/N!” You jump at the sound, completely taken off guard- even more so when something barrels into you, wrapping around your waist. You look down to see the small girl- the one that you recognize from the many pictures Kit has shown you -beaming up at you. Kit laughs, scooping her up into his arms as Jude moves to stand in front of the three of you. Thomas hangs onto her hand, hiding behind her dress.

“Y/N, this is Jude, Thomas, and you’ve already met Julia.” He shakes his head, tickling his daughter’s ribs until she’s leaning into him, in a fit of giggles.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you all,” you say, hoping the smile on your face doesn’t come across as uneasy.

“We could say the same to you. This one,”- she gestures to Kit- “is talking about you constantly.” You smile widely at this, eyes moving to Kit to find his cheeks turning rosy.

“Oh, really?”

“Uh-huh!” Julia chimes in, Thomas slowly nodding his agreement.

“Oh, you.” You nudge Kit’s arm gently, and his eyes shift quickly back and forth between the children. Jude lets out a trill of laughter then, taking Julia’s hand in hers.

“Why don’t we find somewhere to sit? I’m sure we’re all getting hungry.” The kids agree enthusiastically, taking off in a sprint toward a nearby gazebo where several tables sit. “Hey, slow it down, you two!” Jude calls, following them.

You turn to Kit, who brings your hand to his lips, placing a kiss there; there’s something about his expression that you can’t quite place, but he seems happy, so you’re happy. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says, letting your hands fall and dangle together as the two of you slowly make your way to the table where the children sit, awaiting their lunch. Julia laughs beckoning the two of you over, and there’s a shy little smile on Thomas’ face. Your nerves are slowly fading, and you let out a breathy sigh, smiling up at him.

“I’m glad I’m here, too.”

--

The meal is fantastic, and by the time you’re wiping your mouth on your napkin and placing it down on the empty plate in front of you, you can hardly remember why you were so panicky about this meeting in the first place. The food is delicious, Jude accepting your compliments on her potato salad graciously. The two of to you discuss your job, her asking about the intricacies of what you do. Not in a prying way, though; she seems genuinely interested.

It’s not long before the kids take to you, either. Julia already has, it seems, as she insists on sitting across from you while you eat. She tells lots of stories; everything from the science project she and Kit have been working on for school, to the time that Jude took her and Thomas to the zoo.; you find out that hippos are her favorite animal. “Isn’t it so cute when they wiggle their ears??” she asks.

Thomas takes a bit more coaxing, but not much; not when you decide to ask him what his favorite book is. His eyes light up and he brings up several, speaking excitedly about a chapter from the one he's currently in the middle of.

“Daddy, can we play now?” Julia asks, setting her fork down; she bounces around like she’s ready to jump out of her seat, and you can’t help but giggle.

“Sure,” Kit chuckles, placing his empty glass of iced tea on the table. I’m just gonna use the bathroom real quick, but go onnahead.” He stands, patting your shoulder. Shooting what he hopes is a discreet glance Jude's way, he moves toward the small bathroom stalls a few yards away.

Jude laughs, a soft smile on her face, watching as Julia moves to cling to your arm. “Alright, Thomas, it. looks like it’s you and me. What do you wanna do first?” She takes the small boy’s hand, and he leads them in the direction of the sandbox.

Julia glances around, and when she sees that everyone’s out of earshot, she leans into you, bringing a hand to her mouth to ask, “Y/N, can I tell you a secret?”

Her over-exaggerated whisper and enthusiasm make you giggle, and you nod. “Sure.”

She climbs into the seat beside you, leaning in closer to speak into your ear. “My daddy loves you.”

You’re quiet for several seconds, having absolutely no idea how to respond. You look down at her, eventually stuttering out, “O-oh… really? How do you know that?” You're half expecting a nonsensical answer, but when she opens her mouth, the young girl is serious.

“I heard him and Nana talking about it the a couple'a nights ago when I got out of bed for a drink of water.” She grins up at you. “…But I can just tell.”

“H-how can you tell?”

She shrugs. "He smiles when he talks about you." Her answer is so simple, so pure, and it holds so much meaning; you're sure there's a dopey grin growing on your face right now.

“Well, your dad’s pretty great. And I think you’re pretty great, Julia.” Her smile grows impossibly wider as she wraps her arms around your neck, pulling you into a tight hug. You hold her tiny frame and are on cloud nine when you spot Kit closing the door to the restroom behind him; when he sees the two of you still sitting there, he makes his way over.

Kit chuckles to himself, overcome with joy when he walks out of the bathroom to see you holding Julia in an embrace, smiles on both of your faces. He walks slowly toward you, silently praying that his daughter hasn’t said anything she shouldn’t have. So much for Jude’s help… Should'a known better. He glances at his friend, sitting on the edge of the sandbox with his son. Jude looks up, smirking, and he rolls his eyes at her.

Nevertheless, he’s decided. It has to be now.

“What’re you two doin’ over here?” He places a warm hand on your arm as he stands behind you, appraising his daughter. “Jules, I thought you wanted to play? You’ve been sayin’ how excited you were for the jungle gym all week.” Julia’s small legs swing back and forth as she watches her father, with a shrug.

“I wanted to talk to Y/N first.”

“Well, we can keep talking while we play, then,” you decide, standing quickly, but Kit grabs your hand, stilling you.

“Actually, I wanna talk to you about somethin’ real quick.” His voice is low in your ear, and he watches his daughter tensely.

“Oh, o-okay.” Your eyes move to Julia and you smile. “Why don’t you go down the slide a few times, and I’ll be over there in a minute?”

“Okay!” The little girl jumps from her spot, sprinting toward concrete of the playground.

“Be careful!” Kit shouts after her. With a chuckle, he takes his previous seat and pats the one beside him. You smile happily, leaning your head on his shoulder when you move next to him.

“They’re really great, Kit. All of them.”

Kit smiles proudly, watching as Jude helps Thomas make some sort of sculpture in the sand. “They are,” he agrees with a nod. “Jude likes you. The kids really like you.”

“I’m so glad.” You sigh in relief, turning to meet his gaze. “I was so worried they’d all hate me.”

“How could they?” he asks, leaning in to place a sweet peck to your lips. You smile against his mouth, your own tingling as he pulls back. You can’t help but glimpse toward playground to see if the kids have noticed. They’re still preoccupied, but Jude’s noticed; she sends you a wink and your cheeks grow warm. Seeing the exchange, Kit scowls playfully, waving a hand at her. She laughs, turning back to the sandy masterpiece Thomas is working diligently on.

“So,” Kit begins... Deep breath. “There’s somethin’ I’ve been wantin’ to talk to you about.”

“Okay.” Your heartbeat pounds in your ears. “What’s up?” …Could it be?

“It’s something I’ve wanted to say for a while, actually. He’s looking at his hands as he says this, biting down on his bottom lip when his gaze finally meets yours. “I haven’t felt this way about anyone in… a long time. Not since...” He trails off, but you know he’s thinking of the kid’s mothers, so you nod in understanding. “Honestly it’s a little scary, but I think I- I mean, I know I-“ He cuts himself off, and takes a deep breath, shaking his head slowly. “Christ. I dunno why this is so hard, I just…” He sighs deeply.

“…Kit?”

“Yeah?”

“…I love you, too.”

“You… you love m- wait, what?” His eyes grow wide, and he groans after a moment, knowing exactly who the culprit is. “Julia told you?” You can't help but laugh quietly, nodding your confirmation. “I shoulda known. My little blabbermouth.” A wistful smile grows on his face, and the amount of adoration you feel for this man in this moment is staggering.

“So… it’s true, then?” you ask, taking one of his hands in both of yours.

He nods, smiling as he leans in to press his forehead to yours. “I love you, Y/N. I do.” His voice is hardly above a whisper, but it feels like a shout; a declaration. Your returning smile is bright, certainly one of the best Kit’s ever seen- one he’s sure he’ll remember for the rest of his life -and when you wrap your arms around his neck, his own widens further, the muscles in his face beginning to ache, but he couldn't care less.

“I love you, Kit Walker. So much.” You move in for a kiss of your own; it’s short, but full of more meaning than any you’ve ever had.

Pulling back, you pat his knee gently. You stand from your seat, offering a hand out to him. “C’mon. Earlier, I promised Julia I’d watch her on the monkey bars.” Kit laughs, taking your hand and slinging an arm around your waist once he’s standing. You make your way to where the girl is currently whizzing down the largest slide in the park, squealing with laughter. Glancing at the sandbox, you see Jude eyeing you, a knowing smirk on her face; you blush, but smile back.

Right here, right now, moving toward the laughter of Kit’s loving family, there isn’t a sliver of doubt in your mind that this is meant to be.

This is where you belong.

taglist: @therenlover, @tatestripedsweater, @kitwalker02, @ladyfogg, @mossybank, @undeadcortez, @sallyscigarettes, @xmaximoffic, @samsassinparvismagna, @liandav, @kitwalkerangel, @elaineygrace, @milly-louise @americxn (please feel free to fill out this form to be added/removed for future fics)

[inglourious-imagines]

Oh Captain, My Captain (Ronald Speirs)

Requested by: @sydney-m

Summary: You and Speirs fooled around a bit but it was just a one-time thing. However, he can't fight his feelings for much longer.

Author's Note: I don't know if this is what you wanted but this idea suddenly strucked me and I had to write it haha. Hope you like it!

Taglist: @alienoresimagines @teenmagazines @meteora-fc @eugenesmorphine @band-of-brothers-cz @real-fans  @not-john-watsons-blog @tealaquinn @ok-roemanov @mrseasycompany @punkgeekchic @wexhappyxfew @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @rayofshanshine @mavysnavy @easynix @stressedinadress @georgeluzwarmhugs @easy-company-tradition @immrsronaldspeirs @snafus-peckuh @curraheewestandalone @warrior-healer @justamadgirlinabox @happyveday

.

.

.

"Find what you love and let it kill you." - Bukowski

"The war's over."

Those three words echoed in her head like a prayer and she still quite couldn't catch the real grasp of it. After such long years of fighting and dying it almost seemed surreal for it to end now. Just like that.

Y/N looked at her trembling hands, not really sure about what's wrong with her. She should be happy, so incredibly happy, that it's all finally over. No more fighting, no more killing, no more dying.

Y/N glanced at the officer sitting next to Lewis Nixon as she tried so much not to stare at his tired face. In that exact moment, in that early summer sun, Ronald Speirs looked like the most innocent person in the entire world that she almost forgot what weight he had to carry on his shoulders.

All of them had to.

Harry Welsh smoking a cigarette leaned closer to her, "You really should talk with him. The war's over now. He deserves to know."

Y/N forced herself to look away from the worn out soldier. "I don't know, Harry... I'm- I'm scared." she whispered turning to the paratrooper fully.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, my dear." Welsh tried to reassure her but both of them knew it's just words. Speirs was an unpredictable person and nobody ever knew what possibly can go on in his mind. 

"But even if you are, you've got to tell him. What would you do if he didn't know? Disappear? Run away?" Harry took a drag from his cigarette and Y/N knew he's telling the purest truth. She had to do it even though every single part of her said no.

•••

Y/N's eyes wandered to the bottle of whiskey for the hundredth time in five minutes and she had to hold her hand down so she wouldn't grab it. It was harder, way harder than it should, with all the soldiers around her getting drunk just like the other night.

"How come you don't have a drink, darling?" Speirs crashed on the chair next to her, his cheeks flushed and a bright smile on his face. She'd never - during the entire war - seen him so happy just like in that moment.

"I haven't been feeling well, that's all." Y/N tried to explain, partly to avoid the conversation about alcohol but the more she thought about what she said, the more she realised she actually didn't lie. Not at all.

"What's the matter? You probably should go to bed, Y/N. I can get you some extra blankets. And hot tea. Or coffee, whatever you like." Ron mumbled quickly as some emotion wave through his body. He tried to ignore it but it came back when he looked at the young female soldier next to him.

"I'm okay, it's nothing serious." Y/N laughed patting his shoulder gently. Ron didn't have the slightest idea how he missed her touch. This was beyond his own mind and understanding. After the slight touch they shared, he found himself falling in, craving for her hands, body and soul.

"Do you think we can talk?" the tone of her voice suddenly changed and he was met with a pair of concerned deep Y/E/C eyes.

He nodded faintly, not sure what could go wrong so quickly but he took her cold hand anyway and led her into an empty room.

Y/N walked around the room looking everywhere but at him and Speirs knew right away she's hiding something from him.

"What is it? You're kinda scaring me to be honest." he admitted as he finished his drink putting the glass away.

"No! I swear I'm okay. It's just-... I have to tell you something." 

"Are you sure you're fine? You look a bit pale, the bed might really help." Ron insisted as his posture was evidently concerned, worried and maybe even scared. He had no idea what could be so important that Y/N felt the need to be alone for talking.

The truth was, even he tried his hardest to fight it, Ronald Speirs couldn't stop his mind, soul and heart from wanting her war-stained lips, her tender touch, her quiet whisper, her joinful laugh, her beautiful scarred body. He simply craved every single part of Y/N, the desperate need to have her near him was complicating his life but he was slowly giving in. Y/N was his new hope.

"I truly feel okay, don't worry." Y/N sounded a bit frustrated with the soldier as she couldn't get to the point.

"I'm gonna get you some water at least, right? Just wait a second." Speirs stated as a matter of fact walking towards the door.

And at the moment, when his hand touched the door knob, Y/N knew that if he left the room, she'd never be able to tell him.

"I'm pregnant, Ron!" 

Everything stopped. His arm fell to his body as he immediately freezed on the spot. Speirs expected everything, every single thing in the world, but not this. He slowly turned on his heel looking directly into her scared eyes. Fatigue and worry was basically radiating off of her.

"Are you sure it's mine?" Ronald whispered because he didn't dare to speak out loud. A weird atmosphere was floating in the air as well as plenty of unanswered questions. "Alright, that's a stupid question." he added as he saw the ironic look she sent him.

The room was flooded with silence for a moment - neither of them didn't know what to say. Their emotions were going through a storm, it was difficult to look at the other one without the unconditional love they'd been hiding inside of them since the night in Heagenau.

"I better buy that family house in the States I've wanted to buy for a long time then." Ronald Speirs finally spoke up with an innocent pure smile set on his face. 

A single tear rolled down her cheek. Ron took a few steps toward her. "It has a beautiful garden with lots of flowers of so many kinds. There's even a little house for the dog you've always said you wanted. The view from there is spectacular - woods and hills and mountains."

At this very point, Y/N was crying like a little baby as she hugged the soldier so tight like she never wanted to let him go.

"We made a human." Ron whispered pressing a gentle kiss on her lips that expressed way more than words ever could.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Nine

Table of Content or Part Forty-Eight

Wattpad

Word count: 3.9K

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of Drug abuse

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Vanity: something that is vain, empty, or valueless.

I watch with my water in hand as Vanity and Tansy dance like wasted strippers on the bar...granted they are wasted.

Sparkie and Nikki are in the bathroom, Vince is occupied with a bundle of groupies who waved him over, we're still waiting for Tommy to get here since it was date night with Heather but he still wanted to come out, so I'm sitting in silence with Mick and giving glances at anyone that looks like they may be interested in approaching me because I don't necessarily want to speak to anyone right now.

"So..."   I start, finishing me water. "...How've you been?"

Mick takes a sip of his drink and nods a little bit.

"Not too bad." He tells me. "What about you? Did you and asshole work your shit out?" He asks and I scoff.

"Yeah." I tell him, smiling a little. "We're good."

I honestly believed we were at that moment. Stupid of me.

"Good." He replies.

Nikki, Tommy and Sparkie all show up simultaneously, Nikki and Sparkie heavily under the influence of more tha just alcohol.

"Hey, man." Nikki smiles to Tommy, patting him on the back. "Haven't seen you since the wedding...over two months ago." His dimpled smile is a nice cover up to to underlying anger and bitterness woven into his words.

Tommy has been nearly disconnected from everyone since Heather and he got married.

I'm glad they're getting along that well, but life doesn't revolve around one person.

Even my codependent ass can leave Nikki to spend time with my other friends, and vice versa.

"Oh, yeah, dude, we've been really busy." Tommy tells him as they sit by Mick and I. "We just bought a new house and she's had some time off so we've been just enjoying it before she starts on a new project and the album gets going for us." He explains.

"Nah, I get it." Nikki scoffs, glancing at me. "Being married changes shit around."

"That's why I'm not marrying Tansy." Sparkie says out of nowhere, looking at the blonde as she and Vanity are a compiled of booze and giggles, nearly tripping and falling off the bar in their heels.

"Just depends on the person, I guess. I like being married." Tommy shrugs. "I'm about to grab a drink. Mick, you want another?" He gets up from his seat, motioning to the empty glass of vodka Mick's finished.

"Sure." Mick tells him.

"Get Saint Vivian another water while you're at it." Sparkie tells him, his tone a degrading scrape at me for not drinking, and the look he gives me stamps the confirmation of his aggravating attempt to rile me up some.

Nikki shoots him an unamused glare and I can practically see him cowering back into his shell out of fear of pissing Nikki off.

My ego gets a pat on the head.

He might have worn more makeup than me at times, been spazzing on coke one minute and nodding off on smack the next, but he could still kick ass up one end and down the other over me.

Tommy comes back with drinks for him and Mick, bringing Vanity and Tansy back with him.

The two girls sit down, hand in hand, whispering and laughing among themselves as they try to catch their breath.

"Where'd Vince go?" Tansy asks us, running a hand through her platinum hair and Vanity looks around.

"Oh, he's socializing." Vanity lets out and Tansy glances over in her line of sight to see Vince making out with a tan blonde in a mini skirt.

Before Tansy can say anything else, Vanity's reaching across the little cocktail table with a beaming smile directed at Tommy.

"Hi, I'm Vanity." She pipes and Tommy looks as if he knows who she is, but is still confused as to why she's hanging out with us. 

"Tommy." He replies, shaking her hand. 

"I'm Tansalyn's and Nikki's friend." She adds for explanation and he raises his brows a little, quickly shifting his eyes to Nikki, whose expression I can't quiet read...he looks kind of nervous.

"Yeah, I've seen you on T.V. some." Tommy strikes up conversation with her and she just glows at the fact she's well-known. "And a few magazines." He adds.

"I've done several differing magazine issues." She informs in, nodding. 

"Everything from fashion to Playboy." Tansy cuts in, grinning a little.

"So, that's how you two met?" I ask.

"Well, not exactly." Vanity explains. "We knew some people, who knew some people, who knew some people, who thought we'd be great friends and got us together and..." Her beautiful brown eyes catch on Nikki, who's nervousness seems more apparent, despite his neutral expression as he watches her. "...we just clicked from the beginning." She says softly, blinking at him before she quickly averts her attention back at Tansy, her hand squeezing at her's affectionately. "And have been great ever since." She adds.

"Agreed." Tansy nods, smiling at her.

"I need another drink." Nikki mumbles standing up. 

"Can you get me some more water, please?" I ask him and he nods, stepping to the bar.

"Why's he so tense?" Tommy asks once he's out of earshot.

"Must be the blow." Sparkie suggests with a shrug. "He spent good money on it and it wasn't worth a damn." 

I take it without question.

Vince is stepping to us before long, lip stick smudged on his lips as he tries to wipe it off before going home to his wife and child. 

I just give him a ball busting look and he raises his brows.

"Go ahead and say it, Viv." He tells me, sighing.

"Swine." He and I say at the same time, except he's being a smart ass and I'm being serious.

"So, how did you and Nikki meet, exactly?" Vanity asks me out of nowhere and my water glass is merely slammed down in front of me, causing the liquid to slosh out a little, and causing me to jump out of my skin, as Nikki sits back down beside me with an entire bottle of Jack.

He's giving Vanity a surly look and she doesn't even flinch, her curious expression focused on me.

"Tommy introduced us." Nikki shortly states before I can explain it myself.

"Well, that's not just what happened, Nikki, I mean, you two are married aren't you?" She argues politely to him. "I want the whole story."

"Tommy introduced us, dated a couple years, engaged, married, here we are." Nikki, again, interrupts me.

"Baby, it's not that big of a deal." I mumble to him, wondering why he's being rude to her.

"Yeah, baby, it's not that big of a deal." She repeats me, and I can't tell if she's mocking me or just being flirtatious with the way she says "baby."

He rolls his eyes, irritated.

Vince seems to be studying Nikki as Vanity and Tansy change the subject to the album.

I don't listen very much, neither does Nikki, apparently, because it takes Tommy repeating his name three times, and me nudging his leg with mine to get his attention.

"Yeah?" He asks Tommy and Tansy and Vanity let out some more cocktail induced laughter as his lack of enthusiasm.

"Tansy was just talkin' to you." He tells him.

"Oh, what Tans?" Nikki asks, sighing out a little.

"I was just wondering if you've gotten any songs up yet for the album?"

"No? Why would I? There's not even a concept." He states, borderline abrasive.

"You had some songs for 'Theater of Pain' written before the concept was decided on." I remind him and he just let's out a breath.

"Well, there goes that conversation." Tansy exhales, playing it off like Nikki didn't hurt her feelings.

Vince is now giving the slightest hint of a smirk to Nikki before it suddenly disappears from his lips and he's excusing himself to go get a beer.

Game recognizes game. And Vince--being the cheating bastard he was--had sat there and put together what he needed to in order to figure out Nikki either fucked Vanity, was fucking her, or planned on fucking her until further notice. The answer was all three. And he made no attempt to tell me...not even when Nikki later told him and confirmed it.

"We're still working on figuring everything out, Tans." Tommy tells her in a more polite way than Nikki.

"Like you would know what's going on since you've been up Heather's ass all this time. Literally." Nikki stifles out and I look at him.

"What is wrong, Nikki?" I snap.

He just lets out an exaggerated breath before getting up and heading outside.

"He's always moody." Vanity cuts in, rolling her eyes, lighting a cigarette.

I ignore her and follow after him.

"Nikki." I say, my heels clicking against the wet pavement as fine rain sprinkles down on us.

"What?" He asks, going to where we parked.

"What's wrong with you?" I gently pull at his hand, stopping him.

"Nothing."

"Nikki, c'mon, now, I'm not stupid." I argue, crossing my arms. "You're an asshole but I know when you're an out of character asshole."

He just unlocks his Corvette and slides into the driver seat, shutting the door.

Before he can crank it and get his window rolled up, I'm 'Dukes of Hazzard'-ing his shit and putting my legs through the window, scooting into his lap, my feet in the passenger seat, and he leans his head back and let's out a loud groan of irritation.

I just crank the car for him and roll the window up to avoid getting rained on, before turning the car off and waiting patiently for him to start talking, blinking up at him.

"Alright..." he gives up, rubbing his face before resting his arm behind me on the sill of the window. "...fine." he sighs. "I shoulda gone to the funeral, I guess. And I thought I was ready to go out and see everybody but it just--Vince is being Vince. And Tommy hasn't even acknowledged anybody since he got married. Good for him he's so fucking happy in his relationship he can't even call his best friend every once in a while but whatever. And Vanity--Jesus Christ--Vanity." He grumbles. "Like dragging my balls against shards of fucking glass anytime she opens her mouth."

"Then why're you friends with her?" I ask him, chuckling, and he rubs his lips together, looking at me.

"We're into the same thing." He tells me and I don't have to ask what he means.

"So, she's a drug buddy." I say as his fingers trace along my kneecap.

"Yeah." He replies quietly.

"Well, I think she's nice." I admit and he looks at me crookedly.

"No. You can't be friends with her, Viv." He chuckles with obvious distaste of the idea, and I raise a brow.

"Why not? She seems like a sweet girl."

"As much as I'm a sweet guy." He scoffs out. "People like her aren't good friends to keep."

"Tansy's like her." I argue. "You're like her and we're married."

"I never claimed that Tansy's a good friend or that I'm a good husband, did I?" He asks me in a stern tone, avoiding my gaze.

"Why do you think you're such a bad husband, Nikki?" I furrow my brows.

"I'm not getting in to--"

"'--No, baby, I'm serious. It's like your default when you're high is apologizing to me for being a shitty husband." I point out and he shakes his head a little.

"I just feel like I let you down a lot." He shrugs.

"I'm not perfect, Nikki, I let you down more than you do me." I assure him.

"No..." he looks as if he's thinking about something for a moment. "...you don't. I promise."

I was too caught up in Nikki's mood to notice the hole in the story Tansy had told me of Tommy taking Nikki out for our anniversary. But it was the first red flag that popped up in hindsight while assessing the situation after I found out he was having an affair.

Tansy had told me Tommy was taking Nikki out for our anniversary that year, that was the night me and the guys got locked up for a little bit.

That first night back out with Mötley and Vanity Nikki mentioned not seeing or talking to Tommy since his wedding...over two months prior.

What really happened on our anniversary: Vanity came to our house and was still there when Nikki came to pick me up from jail. Which is why he wasn't too eager for me to go back home with him.

My finger tips lightly brush over the scratch of his unshaven cheek and I give him my best smile, hoping it will cheer him up.

He just keeps his near frown and I decide to do to him what he does to me when he's trying to cheer me up.

My lips press to his cheek softly, then pepper random kisses all over his face until he's smiling, finishing off with one, long, passionate kiss to his lips.

"Okay." I breathe out, about to find a way to get out of his lap so we can go back inside.

He puts his arm across my legs, though and stops me, giving me a devious grin.

"We don't have time." I giggle, squealing a little as his fingers trail up the inside of my leg, going up my skirt as he says:

"There's always time."

Just before he can breach the fabric of my panties, a loud knock on our window has us both jolting.

It's Tommy.

Nikki sighs out cranking the car and rolling the window down.

"The girls are hungry." He explains to us.

"And?" Nikki asks.

"They want food, dude, c'mon." Tommy chuckles, nudging his arm.

"What're you kids up to?" I hear Vince next, and I lean my head back to lay on the open window frame so I can look up to see him and Tommy.

"Guys, let's go!" I hear Sparkie shout from the entrance of the club we were in and me, Vince, Nikki, and even Tommy, all share a collective eyeroll.

I think it's safe to say we simply tolerate the greasy bastard at this point.

"Ignore it, it'll go away." Nikki says, rubbing his eye.

"Guys!" Vanity calls next, the bubbliness of her personality in her tone.

"Why the hell is she so perky?" Vince asks next.

"She's been on a three day bender of base. That's why." Nikki replies flatly, rolling his eyes at the sound of heels coming towards us and my ears perk up, deciding to put the question on the tip of my tongue away for now.

He opens his door and Tommy helps me out of the car, Tansy and Vanity hand in hand.

"We're starving." Tansy tells us.

"The Rainbows's our best bet." Tommy suggests.

"Okay, let's go." Tansy shrugs, pulling gently at Vanity's hand, and Vanity's hand grasps at mine and pulls me along with them as we head to the Rainbow.

I wasn't good at making girl friends. Tansy came into my life before I adapted to mainly being around guys, so it was never hard to form a close friendship with her, but I got along better with men because Tansy, Tommy and Vince were the only people I really ever had relationship with before meeting Nikki, and Mick and my other friends I gained through them.

To this day, my list of close girl friends consists of Tansy, Susan--who I was motivated to get to be friends with because she's the step mother of Monroe, Brittany--who's married to Tommy...and is young enough to be one of mine and Nikki's miscarried children so I view her more like a daughter than a friend--and Sharise and I are still very close, despite her being divorced from Vince for 27 years.

Of course, over the years, I've had to adapt at being friends with everyone's girlfriends and wives until they split.

And most of them were sweet girls, so after a while it got annoying because I'd get attached to them and really like them, and then BAM! Divorce or sudden break up.

I learned not to get too attached to new lovers of any of my male friends. They wouldn't be around for long.

That being said, one of my girl friends, believe it or not, was actually my husband's mistress, for an entire year.

She just had a...er...learning curve, if you will.

I watch as Nikki goes back and forth from our bedroom, to the front door, going outside, coming back inside, and repeating.

"Uh...babe?" I call, raising a brow and he stops by the living room where I'm sitting on the couch in my pajamas, reading "The Art of War" and eating a granola bar.

"Yeah?" He raises his brows.

"Whatcha doin'?" I ask curiously.

"It's been over a month since Tansy was asking about the album concept and I realized I needed to start writing for the album, like, a month ago, so I'm cleaning up my shit in our closet and bedroom and kicking drugs so I can focus." He explains, walking back to our bedroom and I raise my brows, a little surprised.

"Do you wanna read my book?!" I offer.

"Nope, got my own strategy!" He replies.

"But is it on Sun Tsu's level?!"

"I'm getting a dog!" He explains and I furrow my brows, putting my book down and walking to meet him in the bedroom.

"A what?" I cross my arms as he's putting needles and trash into a garbage bag.

"It'll be like having a kid around, so I'll have more incentive--aside from you, and working on the album--not to shoot smack and keep away from blow." He goes on.

"A dog?" I repeat.

"Yep."

"You know if you're serious about kicking it this time, you're gonna have to distance yourself from some of your friends." I remind him. "No more Jason or any other dealers, no more Izzy--"

"--You're friends with Izzy, too." He argues.

"I'm not trying to get off drugs." I tell him. "And Tansy and Vanity."

"Okay, you three have sleepovers like fucking high school girls. How the hell am I suppose to avoid them when they're at my house all the time?"

"Well...Tansy doesn't have a house here in L.A. and Vanity's apartment gives me a God-awful feeling everytime I step foot in there." I inform him.

"Right, and I'm the paranoid one." He mumbles.

"Babe. When you're lying in bed and feel someone get into bed with you and start breathing down your neck, and nobody's freaking in bed with you when you turn to see who it is, you kinda never want to even think about going into the apartment it took place in ever again." I state and he chuckles.

"I would've asked it for a blow job." He comments.

"Nikki, I'm serious."

"I am, too." He defends himself and I give him an unamused look. "Alright, fine, for entertainment sake, let's say she has monsters under her bed. What sense would that make? She's up Jesus' ass as far as you are and I highly doubt dark shit stays around God fanatics." He brushes me off.

"Um, hard, mind altering drugs are a pretty good invitation for quote unquote 'dark shit' to hang around people. It makes it easier to get in their heads, break them down, and try to kill them."

"Kill them?" He tries not to laugh. "Are you on drugs?"

"Nikki, I'm being serious. I'm worried about our friend."

"Which friend? We've got, like, all of them on the highway to hell right now." He scoffs, tying off the full garbage bag.

"She's got a lot of shit she's carrying on her, Nikki, and I'm scared for her. And Tansy can say 'everything's fine' but I know she's got a lot of shit happening behind closed doors that she won't open up about, too."

"Everyone has shit going on behind closed doors, babe. That's life in this business. Smiles and good times out on the town, and demon filled bedrooms when we get back home." He shrugs.

"Is that not sad to you?" I ask and he sighs, stepping to me.

"Just pray about it. Like everything else you worry with." He wraps his arms around me and I roll my eyes, taking it as sarcasm. "Get all quiet and soft sounding so you don't wake me up, and start talking to the ceiling about bullshit that won't matter a month from now..." He grins, pressing a kiss to my neck and I refuse the urge to push him away from me because he's making fun of me. "...and after an hour of wasting your breath, you end it in 'in Jesus' name I pray, amen'. And then I think, 'wow, she's really has me fooled to believe she isn't on something, too'." He laughs out.

"Find it funny all you want. My prayers for your's and everyone else's bullshit doesn't fall on deaf ears or one of you would be dead by now." I state.

He smirks, before a lightbulb goes off in his eyes before walking to the closet.

"I'm glad we're on this topic of conversation because it's great foreplay for this." He pulls out a raunchy mockery of a catholic school girl uniform I completely forgot we had and I cross my arms.

"You don't get to insult my religious beliefs and then turn around and fantasize about a concept attached to a denomination of said religion."

"You can put it on and talk to me about getting on your knees all you want." He keeps his smirk and I grab the uniform off the bed, about to go hide it somewhere else in the house.

"We have plenty of film of me with this on to choose from. There's no need for a live show." I peck him on the lips and walk out of our bedroom with the skimpy clothing.

"I meant getting on your knees to pray!" He tries to tell me to get me to bring the outfit back and I laugh.

He was serious about quitting...but once he started getting dope sick, he got desperate enough to go out in the middle of the night, get the garbage bags full of used cottons and needles, and use the rinses of cotton to ring the smallest fix out of them before getting Jason back over as soon as possible.

And I knew he got back on crack when I came home from seeing Sharise and Skylar, to him and Vanity locked in our bedroom.

When I finally picked the lock, Vanity was having a base fueled arts and crafts session on the bed--wearing my clothes that I'd left in the floor--trying to explain the inspiration of her art was Jesus coming back for the rapture, while Nikki was screaming about his late grandmother, in the closet.

And that's typically what I would walk in on if they were at our house. It always appeared like they were way too far gone in their minds to even think about sex. So I honestly never thought anything about it.

But if there's a will, there's a way, and in the midst of Nikki waving a gun around, screaming, and Vanity laughing like a maniac while plastering glitter, styrofoam peanuts and Nikki's used cottons on a piece of construction paper, the two of them had the will and found a way to kickstart the demise of my already fragile marriage.

They truly were functioning addicts.